lessons from the sioux in how to turn a boy into a man

8/19/2019 Lessons From the Sioux in How to Turn a Boy Into a Man

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Lessons from the Sioux in How to Turn a Boy Into a Man

“The Indian, in his simple philosophy, was careful to avoid a centralized population,wherein lies civilization’s devil. He would not be forced to accept materialism as the basicprinciple of his life, but preferred to reduce existence to its simplest terms. His roving outofdoor life was more precarious, no doubt, than life reduced to a system, a mechanical

routine! yet in his view it was and is infinitely happier. To be sure, this philosophy of hishad its disadvantages and obvious defects, yet it was reasonably consistent with itself,which is more than can be said for our modern civilization. He "new that virtue is essentialto the maintenance of physical excellence, and that strength, in the sense of endurance andvitality, underlies all genuine beauty. He was as a rule prepared to volunteer his services atany time in behalf of his fellows, at any cost of inconvenience and real hardship, and thusto grow in personality and soulculture. #enerous to the last mouthful of food, fearless ofhunger, suffering, and death, he was surely something of a hero. Not ‘to have,’ but ‘to be,’was his national motto.$ %&harles 'lexander (astman

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It has sometimes been said that the life of the 'merican Indian has been overly romanticized by those

who lac" firsthand "nowledge of what that life really consisted of, and are merely loo"ing bac" through

the hazy mists of time.

)et one who was not long removed from growing up immersed in *ative 'merican culture,

remembered it as wistfully as anyone, saying, “The Indian boy en+oyed such a life as almost all boys

dream of and would choose for themselves if they were permitted to do so.$

The writer of this sentiment was a man "nown at his death as &harles 'lexander (astman. ut that was

not his original name. He was born a member of the (astern -a"ota or /antee0 /ioux tribe in 1232 and

dubbed Ha"adah, or “pitiful last,$ for his mother died in giving birth to him. The boy’s father, 4any

5ightnings, was thought to have been "illed by whites during the -a"ota 6ar of 1278, and he was

raised by his grandmother and uncle in the ways of traditional /ioux life! this included being given a

new name when he became a young man9 :hiyesa or “always wins.$

efore this boy’s life would ta"e a dramatic and unexpected turn, and :hiyesa would became (astman,

he would nearly complete the /ioux +ourney from boy to man. The elements of this +ourney containmuch wisdom for young men in the present day, and the grown men who wish to see them raised to

honorable manhood.

How a Sioux Boy Became a Man

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“;rom childhood I was consciously trained to be a man! that was, after all, the basic thing!but after this I was trained to be a warrior and a hunter, and not to care for money orpossessions, but to be in the broadest sense a public servant. 'fter arriving at a reverentsense of the pervading presence of the /pirit and #iver of 5ife, and a deep consciousness ofthe brotherhood of man, the first thing for me to accomplish was to adapt myself perfectlyto natural things < in other words, to harmonize myself with nature. To this end I was

made to build a body both symmetrical and enduring < a house for the soul to live in < asturdy house, defying the elements. I must have faith and patience! I must learn selfcontroland be able to maintain silence. I must do with as little as possible and start with nothingmost of the time, because a true Indian always shares whatever he may possess.$ %&harles'lexander (astman

The education of a /ioux boy began before he was even born. 6hile he grew in his mother’s womb,

she would choose a model of manhood from among the heroes of the tribe whom she hoped her son

would one day emulate. /he would then wander the woods alone and rehearse the valiant deeds of this

exemplar to herself and her unborn child. These inspiring words, along with the peace and silence of

the natural bac"drop, were thought to exercise a strengthening influence on the babytobe.

's (astman later recalled, after a boy was born, his family and tribe wasted no time in continuing this

natal initiation into the role of man9

“/carcely was the embyro warrior ushered into the world, when he was met by lullabiesthat spea" of wonderful exploits in hunting and war. Those ideas which so fully occupiedhis mother’s mind before his birth are now put into words by all about the child, who is asyet =uite unresponsive to their appeals to his honor and ambition. He is called the futuredefender of his people, whose lives may depend upon his courage and s"ill.$

-uring a /ioux boy’s younger years, he was largely raised by his mother. In :hiyesa’s case, his wise

grandmother /tands /acred filled that role. 's soon as he started crawling around, she began pointingout the names and features of different animals and plants in his environment, developing him into a

true “prince of the wilderness.$

The 6 Virtues of Sioux Character Development

/tands /acred also began :hiyesa’s education in the character traits and virtues he would need in order

to one day ta"e his place in the tribe’s circle of men. “/ilence, love, reverence < this is the trinity of

first lessons! and to these she later adds generosity, courage, and chastity$9

Silence. The /ioux believed in avoiding trivialities and spea"ing only that which was important. The

youth were not to spea" to their elders at all unless specifically re=uested to. 's (astman explains, the

virtue of silence was part of a larger standard of “Indian eti=uette$9

“*o one who is at all ac=uainted with the Indian in his home can deny that we are a politepeople. 's a rule, the warrior who inspired the greatest terror in the hearts of his enemieswas a man of the most exemplary gentleness, and almost feminine refinement, among hisfamily and friends. ' soft, low voice was considered an excellent thing in man, as well as inwoman> Indeed, the enforced intimacy of tent life would soon become intolerable, were itnot for these instinctive reserves and delicacies, this unfailing respect for the established


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place and possessions of every other member of the family circle, this habitual =uiet, order,and decorum.$

Love. The love of a male /ioux did not revolve around a romantic sentimentality, but was rather shown

through adherence to service and duty9

“(very boy, from the very beginning of his training, is an embryo public servant. He putsinto daily practice the lessons that in this way become part of himself. There are no salaries,no ?tips,’ no prizes to wor" for. He ta"es his pay in the recognition of the community andthe consciousness of unselfish service.$

The finest love a man could develop was for his fellow men! friendship was thought “to be the severest

test of character$9

“It is easy, we thin", to be loyal to family and clan, whose blood is in our own veins. 5ovebetween man and woman is founded on the mating instinct and is not free from desire andselfsee"ing. But to have a friend, and to be true under any and all trials, is the markof a man! The highest type of friendship is the relation of ?brotherfriend’ or ?lifeanddeathfriend.’ This bond is between man and man, is usually formed in early youth, and can onlybe bro"en by death. It is the essence of comradeship and fraternal love, without thought ofpleasure or gain, but rather for moral support and inspiration. (ach is vowed to die for theother, if need be, and nothing denied the brotherfriend, but neither is anything re=uired thatis not in accord with the highest conceptions of the Indian mind.$

Reverence. “@eligion was the basis of all Indian training,$ and a /ioux’s spirituality was inextricably

tied into an awareness of the natural world, which he believed was sacred. 'll living things were

thought to have a soul < not of the same "ind as man, but a spirit created by the 4a"er nonetheless.

The /ioux man felt a "inship with both the land and the animals upon it, and was grateful for the

clothing and food the natural world provided him. He retained an awe and wonder in this connectionhis whole life through9

“The splendor of life stands out preeminently, while beyond all, and in all, dwells the #reat4ystery, unsolved and unsolvable, except in those things which it is good for his own spiritto "now.$

enerosity. The /ioux believed that “the love of possessions AwasB a wea"ness to be overcome.$

'c=uisitiveness was thought to wea"en one’s manhood and hinder spiritual growth.

To overcome the attachment to possessions, and maintain a minimal lifestyle, public giving was a

prominent part of weddings, births, and funerals, and any other occasion in which a member of the tribewas especially honored. -uring such ceremonies, the /ioux often gave “to the point of utter

impoverishment$9

“The Indian in his simplicity literally gives away all that he has, to relatives, to guests ofanother tribe or clan, but above all to the poor and the aged, from whom he can hope for noreturn. ;inally, the gift to the ?#reat 4ystery,’ the religious offering, may be of little valuein itself, but to the giver’s own thought it should carry the meaning and reward of truesacrifice.$


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The s"illed hunter would regularly invite the old men of the tribe to feast with him and his family! in

return, the old men entertained and edified the household with their stories of days gone by. y

showing himself to be a generous host, “his reputation is won as a hunter and a feastma"er, and almost

as famous in his way as the great warrior is he who has a recognized name and standing as a ?man of

peace.’$

oura"e. The importance of courage to a /ioux is encapsulated in (astman’s recollection that he had“wished to be a brave man as much as a white boy desires to be a great lawyer or even Cresident of the

Dnited /tates.$

&ourage was predicated on the ability to forget oneself in the pursuit of duty and the desire to serve and

protect others. 's (astman explained9 “#he Siou$ conce%tion of bravery makes of it a hi"h moral

virtue, for to him it consists not so much in a""ressive self&assertion as in absolute self&control $9

“The truly brave man, we contend, yields neither to fear nor anger, desire nor agony! he isat all times master of himself ! his courage rises to the heights of chivalry, patriotism, andreal heroism. ?5et neither cold, hunger, nor pain, nor the fear of them, neither the bristling

teeth of danger nor the very +aws of death itself, prevent you from doing a good deed,’ saidan old chief to a scout who was about to see" the buffalo in midwinter for the relief of astarving people.$

hastity. &hastity was not only prized in a /ioux woman, but in a /ioux man as well. &ertain feasts

were held for the young men that only those boys who had never spo"en to a girl in courtship could

attend. -emonstrating one’s worth as a man was considered a prere=uisite to ma"ing oneself eligible to

be a suitor. “It was considered ridiculous to do so before attaining some honor as a warrior, and the

novices prided themselves greatly upon their selfcontrol.$ The highest honor went to the man who had

“won some distinction in war and the chase, and above all to have been invited to a seat in the council,

before one had spo"en to any girl save his own sister.$

Cart of the salutatory effect of the vigorous physical training young men participated in was thought to

be the way such sports and games served as an outlet for their sexual energy, so that they might

maintain a courageous selfmastery in that area of their lives as well.

n !"ucation in Manhoo"

“The ?/chool of /avagery’ is no haphazard thing, but a system of education which has beenlong in the building, and which produces results. Ingenuity, faithfulness, and selfreliancewill accomplish wonderful things in civilized life as well as in wild life, but, to my mind,

individuality and initiative are more successfully developed in the outofdoor man.$ %&'(

6hen a /ioux boy became a young man, his education was turned over to his father, or in :hiyesa’s

case, his uncle.

' boy was taught by the men in his tribe how to be a warrior and a hunter, and to understand the tribe’s

code of honor. This education too" several forms9

atechism. ' boy’s father would constantly as" him =uestions about natural phenomena, to see if he

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could identify certain plants, animal trac"s, weather patterns, and so on. (astman recalled his uncle’s

regular drilling9

“6hen I left the teepee in the morning, he would say9 ?Ha"adah, loo" closely to everythingyou see’! and at evening, on my return, he used often to catechize me for an hour or so.

?:n which side of the trees is the lightercolored bar"E :n which side do they have mostregular branchesE’

It was his custom to let me name all the new birds that I had seen during the day. I wouldname them according to the color or the shape of the bill or their song or the appearanceand locality of the nest < in fact, anything about the bird that impressed me ascharacteristic. I made many ridiculous errors, I must admit. He then usually informed me ofthe correct name. :ccasionally I made a hit and this he would warmly commend.$

Storytellin". 's an oral culture, /ioux "nowledge and traditions were passed down through stories,

which boys had to both listen to, and then be prepared to recite themselves. It was a highly effective

method of “schooling,$ as it strengthened a boy’s power of memorization, re=uired him to exercisecourage in facing the ris" of public performance, sun" the tribe’s philosophy down into his marrow, and

inspired him to live up to the heroes of the past9

“Fery early, the Indian boy assumed the tas" of preserving and transmitting the legends ofhis ancestors and his race. 'lmost every evening a myth, or a true story of some deed donein the past, was narrated by one of the parents or grandparents, while the boy listened withparted lips and glistening eyes. :n the following evening, he was usually re=uired to repeatit. If he was not an apt scholar, he struggled long with his tas"! but, as a rule, the Indian boyis a good listener and has a good memory, so that the stories were tolerably well mastered.The household became his audience, by which he was alternately criticized and applauded.

This sort of teaching at once enlightens the boy’s mind and stimulates his ambition. Hisconception of his own future career becomes a vivid and irresistible force. 6hatever thereis for him to learn must be learned! whatever =ualifications are necessary to a truly greatman he must see" at any expense of danger and hardship. /uch was the feeling of theimaginative and brave young Indian.$

'entorshi%. The greatest method by which Indian boys learned came simply through closely

observing and then emulating the other men in the tribe. )oung men were constantly surrounded by

mentors < a third family < who together helped raised him. These lessons in manliness came directly,

but also by tagging along with father and uncles and apprenticing in the tas"s of manhood.

Culture of Honor

The /antee /ioux, li"e all ancient tribes, lived an honor culture, which included a few fundamental

elements9

om%etition. ;or the /ioux, achievement was a prere=uisite to respect, influence, and marriage, and so

statussee"ing was not a frownedupon practice! as they believed “that the world was full of natural

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rivalry,$ competition was considered essential in inspiring young men to become their best selves and

developing and maintaining a vital, virile manhood.

&ontests were thus greatly encouraged, and were incorporated by boys into nearly everything they did.

's (astman remembers9 “There was always "een competition among us. 6e felt very much as our

fathers did in hunting and war < each one strove to excel all the others.$ /ports and games < from

running races to wrestling matches to attempting to get honey from a hive before being attac"ed by itsproducers < were a central and wellen+oyed part of every boy’s life. (ven hunting became a

competition for young men, who “"ept strict account of AtheirB game, and thus learned who were the

best shots among the boys.$

6arfare too was thought of as a "ind of sporting competition! “founded upon the principle of manly

rivalry,$ it was seen as a chance for men to test themselves and gain honor9

“6arfare we regarded as an institution < an organized tournament or trial of courage ands"ill, with elaborate rules and ?counts’ for the coveted honor of the eagle feather. It washeld to develop the =uality of manliness and its motive was chivalric or patriotic, but never

the desire for territorial aggrandizement or the overthrow of a brother nation. It wascommon, in early times, for a battle or s"irmish to last all day, with great display of daringand horsemanship with scarcely more "illed and wounded than may be carried from thefield during a university game of football.$

Reco"nition. 6hat ma"es honor such an effective moral system for shaping behavior is the fact that

both failures and successes in living the code bring public conse=uences < shame for the former and

praise for the latter. )oung men want to be recognized, and they crave the admiration found in a +ob

well done. The fact that a /ioux boy was "ept “ever before the public eye, from his birth onward$ thus

inspired him to perform well in his manly pursuits9

“His entrance into the world, especially in the case of the firstborn, was often publiclyannounced by the herald, accompanied by a distribution of presents to the old and needy.The same thing occurred when he too" his first step, when his ears were pierced, and whenhe shot his first game, so that his childish e$%loits and %ro"ress were known to thewhole clan as to a lar"er family, and he grew into manhood with the saving sense of areputation to sustain. The youth was encouraged to enlist early in the public service, and todevelop a wholesome ambition for the honors of a leader and feast ma"er, which can neverbe his unless he is truthful and generous, as well as brave, and ever mindful of his personalchastity and honor.$

Skin in the "ame. 4anly honor must be earned, and it can only be earned by those with s"in in thegame < those who ta"e on ris" to gain status. The /ioux offered warriors different degrees of honors

for their valiant deeds < the highest being the eagle feather. 6hile other feathers could be worn as

decorative ornaments, eagle feathers could not be donned for style! the privilege of wearing these status

mar"ers went only to those who had performed deeds on the battlefield that others had clearly

witnessed, and which were affirmed by the grand council of war chiefs. *o man could claim he did

something, or was entitled to any honor, without proof, and no man could “wear the honorable insignia

of another.$ Dnder this system, “*o favoritism is possible and the highest degrees are conferred only

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upon men who have been tried again and again by every conceivable ordeal.$

The fact that honor goes only to those with s"in the game was a lesson :hiyesa learned well as a boy,

when he as"ed his uncle for the claws of a bear he had hunted and "illed9

“6e dragged the huge carcass within our lodge. ?:, what nice claws he has, uncle>’ Iexclaimed eagerly. ?&an I have them for my nec"laceE’

?It is only the old medicine men who wear them regularly. The son of a great warrior whohas "illed a grizzly may wear them upon a public occasion,’ he explained.

?'nd you are +ust li"e my father and are considered the best hunter among the /antees and/issetons. )ou have "illed many grizzlies so that no one can ob+ect to my bear’sclawsnec"lace,’ I said appealingly.

6hite ;ootprint smiled. ?4y boy, you shall have them,’ he said, ?but it is always better toearn them yourself.’

#in"in$ Manhoo" in Solitu"e

's :hiyesa approached the age of 17, he had participated in all of his tribe’s activities “except that of

war, and was nearly old enough to be initiated into the ritual of the warpath.$ To prepare himself to

finally attain the ran" of warrior, :hiyesa did what all the young men were encouraged to do9 ta"e to

the woods alone. In solitude, the maninthema"ing contemplated the spirit of nature, invo"ed the

blessing of the #reat 4ystery, and sought to let the boyhood lessons he’d received in virtue and honor

sin" deep into his bones.

-uring this time, :hiyesa’s closest companions were his horse and dog and his (people saw very little

of AhimB during the day$9

“for in solitude ) found the stren"th ) needed. ) "ro%ed about in the wilderness, anddetermined to assume my %osition as a man. 4y boyish ways were departing, and asullen dignity and composure was ta"ing their place. The thought of love did not hinder myambitions. I had a vague dream of some day courting a pretty maiden, after I had made myreputation, and won the eagle feathersG

In this wild, rolling country I rapidly matured, and laid, as I supposed, the foundations ofmy life career, never dreaming of anything beyond this manful and honest, unhamperedexistence.$


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#rom Deep %oo"s to Civili&ation

“/uch are the beliefs in which I was reared < the secret ideals which have nourished in the'merican Indian a uni=ue character among the peoples of the earth. Its simplicity, itsreverence, its bravery and uprightness must be left to ma"e their own appeal to the'merican of today, who is the inheritor of our homes, our names, and our traditions. /incethere is nothing left us but remembrance, at least let that remembrance be +ust>$ %&'(

Though :hiyesa loo"ed forward to becoming a warrior, and avenging the death of his father, the welllaid plans of his youth, and the entire life he had "nown for a decade and a half, were soon turned

upside down.

In 128, his father < alive and well < wandered bac" into his tribe’s camp. 4any 5ightnings had not

been "illed after all, but rather forced to flee to the -a"ota Territory, where he had converted to

&hristianity, changed his name to acob (astman, and established a homestead. (astman had to come to

believe that his fellow Indians needed to adapt to the fastencroaching ways of civilization, and thus

strongly desired that his son become educated and learn the culture of the white man.

's (astman unfolded to his son the wondrous inventions of civilization and the tenets of his new faith,:hiyesa was filled with both “admiration and indignation$ and had to fight down a voice within him

which cried, “' false life> ' treacherous life>$ )et from a mixture of curiosity and filial obedience, he

agreed to follow his father away from the /ioux village, away from the open plains and s"y, away from

the only life he had ever "nown, and onto a mysterious and wholly new path.



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In the years to come, the young man experienced a bewildering clash of cultures. He cut his hair and

changed his clothes. He converted to &hristianity and changed his name for yet the third time to

&harles 'lexander (astman. He learned to live indoors more often than out, and to spend much of that

time within the fourwalls of a classroom. (astman’s education transformed from sitting at his elders’

"nees, and learning the signs of nature and the symbols of his tribe, to sitting at a des" and learning the

signs of arithmetic and the symbols of the (nglish alphabet. )et (astman’s curiosity and intelligence

won him success in this new and foreign endeavor, and after attending a series of preparatory schools,

he earned his undergraduate degree from -artmouth &ollege and graduated from the medical school at

oston &ollege < becoming one of the first 'merican Indians certified as a (uropeanstyle doctor.

(astman went on to serve as a governmentappointed physician at the Cine @idge @eservation in /outh

-a"ota he tended to victims of the 6ounded Jnee massacre while there0 and a tireless spo"esman and

advocate for the rights and autonomy of his people.

He also became a renowned author, writing many boo"s about the culture of Clains Indians before the

coming of the white man. (astman was aggravated and dismayed that many of his contemporaries’

stereotypes of Indians < that his people were barbarous, drun"en, dishonest, and immoral < were

rooted in behaviors that had arisen after, and as a conse=uence of, the arrival of (uropean settlers. He

wished to educate the 'merican people about Indian life as he had "nown it < the true ideals and ways

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of the /ioux < as he felt that the contact between the cultures needn’t be a oneway street! that whites

had as much to learn from the native peoples as the natives had to learn from whites.

(astman not only shared this message in his boo"s and his lectures, but sought to put it into practice.

He played an integral role in helping to develop and found Indian divisions of the )4&', the oy

/couts of 'merica, and the &amp ;ire #irls, as well as the summer camps of these organizations. He

earnestly desired for Indian and nonIndian youth ali"e to experience the satisfaction of learning the artof woodcraft and the +oy of immersing themselves in the spiritual power of nature < to receive, at least

in part, the "ind of “openair education$ he had gotten as a boy.

The fact that (astman had grown up a /ioux, and then gone on to earn advanced degrees, made him auni=ue figure, and uni=uely suited to acting as a bridge between the country’s native peoples and its

new arrivals. He found much disheartening about white civilization, but much that was worthy as well,

and he tried to wed the best of both of his worlds together. ;rom this vantage point, he was able to

powerfully convey the philosophy and traditions of the /ioux in a way in which nonIndians could

readily feel their own lac" of those ideals, and how their adaption into modern culture could greatly

enhance their lives.



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His words continue to have this power today. 's such, in the coming wee"s we’ll offer a series of

edited collections of (astman’s wisdom on three elements of 'merican Indian wisdom that each

deserve their own article. Here’s what’s coming up9

• The /ioux #uide to /ituational 'wareness

• The /ioux #uide to 4ental and Chysical Toughness

• The /ioux #uide to /pirituality

KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Sources and Further Reading:

Indian Boyhood

The Soul of the Indian

The Indian Today

From the Deep Woods to Civilization

Indian Scout Tals
https://archive.org/details/indianboyhood00easthttps://archive.org/details/indianboyhood00easthttps://books.google.com/books?id=iMp1AAAAMAAJ&printsec=frontcover&dq=the+indian+today+charles+eastman&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0CCsQ6AEwAmoVChMIqaj57YagyAIVjv2ACh2V-g7z#v=onepage&q=the%20indian%20today%20charles%20eastman&f=falsehttps://books.google.com/books?id=RG0_AAAAMAAJ&printsec=frontcover&dq=from+the+deep+woods+to+civilization&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0CB0Q6AEwAGoVChMIw57Jk4egyAIVCtKACh0OBgaB#v=onepage&q=from%20the%20deep%20woods%20to%20civilization&f=falsehttps://archive.org/details/indianscouttalks00easthttps://archive.org/details/indianboyhood00easthttps://archive.org/details/indianboyhood00easthttps://books.google.com/books?id=iMp1AAAAMAAJ&printsec=frontcover&dq=the+indian+today+charles+eastman&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0CCsQ6AEwAmoVChMIqaj57YagyAIVjv2ACh2V-g7z#v=onepage&q=the%20indian%20today%20charles%20eastman&f=falsehttps://books.google.com/books?id=RG0_AAAAMAAJ&printsec=frontcover&dq=from+the+deep+woods+to+civilization&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0CB0Q6AEwAGoVChMIw57Jk4egyAIVCtKACh0OBgaB#v=onepage&q=from%20the%20deep%20woods%20to%20civilization&f=falsehttps://archive.org/details/indianscouttalks00east

lessons from the sioux in how to turn a boy into a man

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