LETTING GO

Presentation to

African American Family Support Conference

By Michele Alexander BibbyMAB Consulting Services

February 16, 2012

MY STORY

Diagnosis – 1985Blame (out of not understanding)Shame Stable when Med Compliant Acceptance – 2002Unable to Work (GRIEF & FEAR)Education and Advocacy – 2007Return to Work - 2010Letting Go of Feeling of Inadequacy

MAB CONSUMER EXPERIENCE

1980’s – 1990’s Engaged Psychiatrists who provided talk therapy (60 minute

sessions) Older generation med’s required blood level checks Always sought African Americans When not available, sought female

2000’s Brought Insurance Billing practices causing psychiatrists to

shift to medication management. Med management more difficult with new generation meds

Resulting in need to talk to therapist to sort out issues Shifting moods needing med adjustment gets back to the

feeling of being blamed (what’s wrong with me that meds are not working)

STIGMA

STIGMA: when someone judges you based on a personal trait. This is a common experience for people who have a mental health condition.

The belief that you will never be able to succeed at certain challenges or that you can’t improve your situation

Harmful Effects of Stigma

Lack of understanding by family, friends or others

Discrimination (work, school) Media portrayal of mentally illness as violent

and threateningMedical care impact. Assumption that

physical illnesses may be all in your headHealth insurance that doesn’t adequately

cover your mental illness

STIGMA IN OUR COMMUNITY

Can we talk?Why aren’t we talking in our families?Why aren’t we talking in our communities?Lack of open, honest conversations leads to a

sense of shame for those of us with lived experience

STATS

African Americans are disproportionately more likely to experience social circumstances that increase their chances of developing a mental illness AND

Are less likely to receive diagnosis and treatments for their mental illness compared with Caucasian Americans

Many African Americans don’t seek helpSeeking help is not limited to taking medicationCounseling, peer services, diet modification,

meditation are all components of helpful practices

SHAME

When the psychiatrist gave you your mental health diagnosis, did you feel proud?

Your feeling could be due to, …..Lack of acknowledgement of family history of

emotional distressPrevailing belief in our community that you should

take care of your own problemsIf there was NO shame, there would be no blameSince there is shame, there is a natural tendency to

shift blame

BLAME

Who’s to BLAME?Blame is a passive activity. I don’t believe we created our mental illness I don’t want to be blamed for my mental illnessFamily tree bears inspectionGift that keeps on givingTrauma past bears inspectionDoes it have to be someone’s fault?

Shifting From Blame

Shifting from blame to responsibilityNot to be blamed for all that’s wrong in a

family dynamicBut it is my life and my recovery, and I have

to take ownership and responsibility for thatIf illness plays out in hurtful ways, we must

be responsible for our words and actionsWhat have others blamed you for and what

are you blaming others for?

SEEK HELP

Can we acknowledge that there are things that are preventing us from living the life we want?

If, so we need to spread the message that it’s ok to ask for help. We should be the message bearers

Don’t be scared to get help. You are not alone in facing these challenges

FEAR

CONSUMERSAcknowledging that we have a problem.

Asking for helpBeing sick and getting sickBeing DependentLiving marginalized livesPovertyBeing able to contribute (work or volunteer)Being able to live the life we wantWhat are your fears?

FEAR, cont.

FAMILY MEMBERSLoved one getting sickPhysically or emotionally unable to handle a

crisisCaretakingEmotional toil of loved one’s illnessFinancial woesWhat are your fears?Fear is the barrier we need to breakthrough

What Are We Afraid Of

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, out presence automatically liberates others.”

Marianne Williamson, “A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of a Course in Miracles”

Stepping Out From The Darkness

DARKNESSDiagnosisPathology of illness perpetuated by medical

practitionersPain of our past from trauma, stigmatizationLIGHTHopeRecoveryWellnessTelling your storyProviding Peer Support

GLIMMER OF HOPE

Once we have moved from shame to acceptance and disclosure

Moved from blame to accepting responsibility

ANDLet Go of Fear

We can provide a glimmer of hope to others facing these challenges

THANKS

FOR LISTENING!!!

Q&A

QUESTIONS / COMMENTS