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204 Ontario College Writing Exemplars
Level 1 Research Essay Sample 1
Task
Students were asked to prepare a formal research essay on a general, applied, or academic subject following standard documentation methods. This complex activity required students to apply a number of key skills, including reframing information and ideas; collecting, analyzing, and organizing information from different sources; evaluating the validity of others’ arguments and their own thinking; and writing clearly, concisely, and correctly.
Assignment: to write an essay with formulaic organization on a topic of sociological significance.
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Comments Follows five-paragraph formulaic organization
Would benefit from narrowing topic, so that main divisions discuss ideas rather than separate topics
Needs to achieve a more formal tone
Mixes MLA and APA documentation formats
Contains rudimentary grammar error: “I have went over”
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Level 1 Research Essay Sample 2
Task
Students were asked to prepare a formal research essay on a general, applied, or academic subject following standard documentation methods. This complex activity required students to apply a number of key skills, including reframing information and ideas; collecting, analyzing, and organizing information from different sources; evaluating the validity of others’ arguments and their own thinking; and writing clearly, concisely, and correctly.
Assignment: to write an essay dealing with the causes and effects of a common social problem.
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Comments Violates style conventions by using too narrative a tone
Lacks clearly identifiable thesis in introductory paragraph
Needs to narrow topic
Lacks a synthesis of ideas
Contains errors in Works Cited format (needs to understand purpose of font)
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Level 1 Research Essay Sample 3
Task
Students were asked to prepare a formal research essay on a general, applied, or academic subject following standard documentation methods. This complex activity required students to apply a number of key skills, including reframing information and ideas; collecting, analyzing, and organizing information from different sources; evaluating the validity of others’ arguments and their own thinking; and writing clearly, concisely, and correctly.
Assignment: to write an essay dealing with issues and consequences related to a common social problem.
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Comments Follows five-paragraph essay organization, but lacks consideration of reader needs for clearly identified main points
Depends too heavily on a single source for support of ideas
Relies on narrative instead of source references to develop points (paragraph three)
Uses inappropriately colloquial language (“cops,” “kids”)
Contains errors in syntax (sentence fragment in introductory paragraph, comma splice in fourth paragraph), spelling (“then”), punctuation (“fake Id’s”)
Lacks control of Works Cited format and understanding of purpose of Works Cited
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Level 1 Research Essay Sample 4
Task
Students were asked to prepare a formal research essay on a general, applied, or academic subject following standard documentation methods. This complex activity required students to apply a number of key skills, including reframing information and ideas; collecting, analyzing, and organizing information from different sources; evaluating the validity of others’ arguments and their own thinking; and writing clearly, concisely, and correctly.
Assignment: to write an essay dealing with causes and effects of a topic of popular interest.
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Comments Introduction is excessively long, and lacks clear indication of thesis and points to be developed
Lack of controlling points leads to lengthy, rambling content
Contains sentence fragments (beginning with first sentence)
Lacks consideration for audience through lack of relevant Canadian context information (relies entirely on American source materials)
Mishandles long quotation
Lacks understanding of purpose of Works Cited; lacks control of format of Works Cited
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Level 1 Research Essay Sample 5
Task
Students were asked to prepare a formal research essay on a general, applied, or academic subject following standard documentation methods. This complex activity required students to apply a number of key skills, including reframing information and ideas; collecting, analyzing, and organizing information from different sources; evaluating the validity of others’ arguments and their own thinking; and writing clearly, concisely, and correctly.
Assignment: to write an essay presenting solutions to a topic of popular interest.
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Comments Lacks Works Cited although contains internal references to research sources; this violation of fundamental research essay convention could result in automatic failing grade or requirement to resubmit assignment
Narrative writing results from lack of understanding of audience and purpose for research essay
Essay lacks main points as controlling element for content and substitutes narration of events for discussion of ideas
Narrative writing is reflected in inappropriate use of historical present (“Berard retires”) and first-person style
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Level 1 Research Essay Sample 6
Task
Students were asked to prepare a formal research essay on a general, applied, or academic subject following standard documentation methods. This complex activity required students to apply a number of key skills, including reframing information and ideas; collecting, analyzing, and organizing information from different sources; evaluating the validity of others’ arguments and their own thinking; and writing clearly, concisely, and correctly.
Assignment: to write an essay contrasting and evaluating two processes of scientific interest.
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Comments Lacks an appropriately narrowed topic for scope of the essay ; therefore essay lacks development of a complex ideas, reducing controversial hypothesis to level of personal opinion (“I believe that this therapy is better than chemotherapy”)
Lacks the required element of analysis and synthesis of ideas from research
Textual reference is disproportionate to complexity of topic (essay contains only one internal citation)
Works Cited contains major format violations, lacks key information and should appear as separate page
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Level 1 Research Essay Sample 7
Task
Students were asked to prepare a formal research essay on a general, applied, or academic subject following standard documentation methods. This complex activity required students to apply a number of key skills, including reframing information and ideas; collecting, analyzing, and organizing information from different sources; evaluating the validity of others’ arguments and their own thinking; and writing clearly, concisely, and correctly.
Assignment: to write an essay on the consequences of a topic of environmental and economic impact, working in a group to achieve writing goals.
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Comments Misunderstands purpose and requirements of Table of Contents
Begins with wordy and overgeneralized introduction (“In this world that we live in, we as humans that live on this Earth”)
Lacks application of critical thinking skills and therefore treats complicated topic simplistically
Shows difficulty with logical coherence and cohesion of writing (“the environment . . . produces weather, it keeps us from getting seriously burned from the sun”)
Contains syntax errors (first sentence of fourth paragraph)
Has difficulty incorporating internal source references; violates external documentation format; lacks understanding of documentation format and purpose (does not follow APA or MLA conventions)
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