Guide : Dr. Yasmin Kazi Presenter : Dr. Mahesh Jajulwar Dr. Alka Turuk TNMC MUMBAI

INTRODUCTION

• Young age is a crucial period in the life of a person.• The choices they make during this stage can have a long bearing on their

future.• It has now been widely acknowledged that merely imparting knowledge

and information is not enough. • There is an urgent need to build “practical skills” amongst adolescents and

youth, which will equips them to handle conflicts and situations that life brings along

• It will set the right pointers and value framework that would guide them, even later on in life.

What is ‘Life Skills’?• WHO (1997) - “The abilities for adaptive and positive behavior that enable individuals to deal effectively with the demands and challenges of everyday life”• UNICEF (2001) -A behavior change or behavior development approach is designed to address a balance of three areas: Knowledge, Attitude And Skills

Classification

Social skills➢Self awareness➢Effective communication➢Interpersonal relationship➢Empathy

Thinking skills➢Creative thinking➢Critical thinking➢Decision making➢Problem solving

Emotional skills➢Coping with stress➢Coping with emotions

Self awareness

• “Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is Enlightenment.”• Self-awareness means a process whereby we try to reflect on our strengths

and weaknesses, likes and dislikes• It helps us recognize and deal with stress, fear and pressure• It is often a prerequisite for effective communication and interpersonal

relations, as well as for developing positive self-esteem

JOHARI WINDOW

• The Johari window is a technique created in 1955 by two American psychologists, Joseph Luft (1916–2014) and Harrington Ingham (1914–1995), used to help people better understand their relationship with self and others. It is used primarily in self-help groups and corporate settings as a self discovering exercise.

• The word JO HARI comes from the combination of first names of the two American psychologists

The End Goal

The ultimate goal of the Johari Window is to enlarge the Open Area, without disclosing information that is too personal. The Open Area is the most important quadrant, as, generally, the more your people know about each other, the more productive, cooperative, and effective they'll be when working together.

1

Known to self Unknown to self

Known by others Relaxed CalmSelf Conscious FriendlyTrust worthy Sensible

Unknown to others HappyIntrovertedWise

Known to self Unknown to self

Known by others Sentimental Bold, Extroverted, Knowledgeable, Observant, Spontaneous

Unknown to others Confident

FriendlyCheerfulEnergetic

Empathy

• The ability to understand another person’s circumstances, point of view, thoughts, and feelings.• When experiencing empathy, you are able to understand someone else’s internal experiences.

Self-Esteem• It reflects a person's overall emotional evaluation of his or her own worth. It is

a judgment of oneself as well as an attitude toward the self.• Steps you can take to increase self-esteem include:

• Changing how you think about yourself.• Creating positive image about yourself.• Believing in your own abilities. • Becoming confident and optimistic about your future.• Communicating more effectively.• Being more assertive• Looking for opportunities to demonstrate your skills and abilities

Values• Values can be described as something we consider worthy, worthwhile,

good or have a high opinion of• Values are beliefs, principles or standards that a person feels are important.

Your values are what “you think” is right and what you think is wrong.• Our values are influenced by many factors, including our experiences,

perceptions, parents, school and religion.

Goals setting

Creative thinking

What is creativity?• Is the ability to imagine or invent something new• Creativity is also an attitude• It is a process• Creative people work hard and continually to improve ideas and solutions, by making gradual alterations and refinements to their works

Critical thinking

• Critical thinking is the ability to think clearly and rationally.• It includes the ability to engage in reflective and dependent thinking.

Someone with critical thinking skills is able to do the following : understand the logical connections between ideas.

Decision making

• Process of decision making- understand the problem and goals clearly• The purpose of decisions making are

• To make decisions more rationally and wisely. • To recognize that we really do have a choice about many important things in our lives. • To avoid making decisions sloppily or by default. • To avoid a variety of irrational ideas, false assumptions, fears, needs and other emotions

that block good decision making.

Decision Making Exercise

Ways in which we make decisions

• By impulse.• By procrastinating, or “putting off” making a decision.• By not deciding.• By letting others make the decisions for us.• By evaluating all choices and then deciding.

Key Messages• There are many alternative solutions for every situation or problem• Decision-making is strongly influenced by Self-esteem. • Every decision, including, not making a decision has a consequence• The best decision is usually one that is consistent with one’s values.• Best decision results from the use of a conscious decision making

process that examines alternatives• Three C’s of Good Decision Making

• Challenge, Choices and Consequences

Communication

• Communication is simply the sending and receiving of messages, intentional and unintentional, verbal and nonverbal

• Being able to communicate well is a skill that most of us have not learned about and yet it is an essential part of good coping

• Is basic to every human relationship. • It affects our feelings and our health

Effective communication and Interpersonal relationship skills

The main components of communication:

• Make eye contact. • Orient towards the speaker. • Lean forward or sit up straight. • Nod head or react to show understanding that one is hearing another person. • Repeat what someone says. • Ask someone to repeat him or herself. • Ask someone to explain him or herself

Listening skills

Assertiveness Skills Aggressive Behavior :

• Expressing your feelings, opinions, or desires in a way that threatens or punishes the other person

• Standing up for your own rights with no thought for the other person• Putting yourself first at the expense of others• Overpowering others• Reaching your own goals, but at the sake of others• Dominating behaviors• Saying others are wrong

Passive Behavior

• Giving in to the will of others• Leaving it to others to guess or letting them decide for you• Taking no action to assert your own rights• Putting others first at your expense• Giving in to what others want, self-denying• Remaining silent when something bothers you• Apologizing a lot• Physically making oneself small, fidgeting

Assertive Behavior

• Asking for what you want or need.• Saying what you are really feeling whether it’s positive or negative.• Saying “No” to what you don’t want.• Increased cooperation from others.• Higher self-esteem and greater self-confidence.

Pankaj and Sangita like each other. Pankaj wants her to come to his house when his parents are not at home. since he often talks about getting into a more physical relationship, Sangita is feeling perturbed at the same time pressurised to be alone with him. She tries to speak about her feelings a few times, but Pankaj keeps interrupting her. Sangita, her head down, finally says to Pankaj, in a soft voice, I know you’ll think I’m silly, but…Pankaj interrupts again, approaches Sangita nose to nose, and says loudly with his hands on his hips, .You are silly, and not only that, you’re childish too! Sangita hangs her head down, looks at the ground, and agrees to go to Pankaj’s house.

Role Play- 1

Tina has been upset with Kamal. When she sees him, she says, “Kamal, I need to talk to you right now. Could we talk where no one is around? Moving to another room, Tina sits straight with her hands on the table and looks Kamal in the eye. She says in a calm but firm voice, I’ve thought about your suggestion for our date, but I feel uncomfortable about it. I think we need more time to be close friends before being alone. I really like you and I know you’d like if we get some private time, but I’m not ready for it yet.Is that OK with you?

Role Play- 2

Assertiveness is necessary for

• Increasing your self-confidence and self respect• Reducing your need for others’ approval.• Having courage to take a stand.• Dealing with conflict openly & fairly.• Getting your needs satisfied.• Having healthier relationship with others.• Resolve problems and conflicts positively

Refusal Skills

• Refusal Skills give practical ideas on how to say “No”• Practicing refusal skills teaches young people how to handle dangerous

encounters like being asked to use alcohol or other drugs with confidence.

• At the end of the session the people will be able to:• Provide the ability to say “No” to unwanted advances or risky situations

How to Say “No”exercise

Key Messages

• To say “No” and make it stick, you could• Use humor.• State the facts.• Come up with another idea.• Walk away.• Use an excuse.• Don’t pay any attention.• Be polite

The “NICE” way to say “No”N- Say “No,” not, “Maybe” or “Later.”I- Follow with an “I” statementC- If pressure continues, “Change”E- If these strategies don’t help, you needs an “Exit” plan

Conflict

• Conflict is defined as the “competitive or opposing action or incompatible antagonistic state or action (as of divergent ideas, interests, or persons).”

• conflict is couched in different expressions such as controversy, clash, battle and interactive warfare.

• Conflict is a part of the natural world. When we encounter personal or professional conflict, we need extra skills to cope.

Conflict ScenarioAman and Samira have been going around for a while and really like each other. Neither of them is seeing anyone else. Aman, however, still gets very jealous if Samira pays attention to other guys. Recently, Samira and her long time friend Ajay started working together after school on oral report they will make to their English class. Aman is scared that Ajay might be trying to get close to Samira and he wants her to stop working with him. He says it is not right for them to meet after school and spend hours together. His friends have been making remarks about it. Besides, he wants to spend more time with her. Samira likes Ajay, but only as a friend. She wants Aman to trust her and to stop acting jealous all the time. She says there is no way she will stop working with Ajay: he is an “A” student and he is hoping to bring up her grade in English by doing a really good job presenting the report with him. How can Samira and Aman work this out so that each “wins?”

• Negotiation is one way to manage conflict • Successful negotiations often depend on finding

the win-win aspects in any situation. • The key to successful negotiation is to shift the situation to

a “win-win” even if it looks like a “win-lose” situation

NEGOTIATION SKILLS

EIGHT PILLARS OF NEGOTIATION SKILL

•CONSCIOUS OF DIFFERENT POSITION AND INTEREST•BE CREATIVE•BE FAIR•BE PREPARED TO COMMIT•ACTIVE LISTENER•CONSCIOUS ABOUT IMPORTANCE OF RELATION•BEST ALTERNATIVES•BE PREPARED

Social Behavior

• There are two types of social behavior—those that are acceptable to others and those that are not (unacceptable).

• For every unacceptable behavior or mannerism there is an acceptable counterpart and it is important to identify these.

Relationships

•It is important to know how to have healthy relationships with the people in our lives.

•Healthy relationships increase our self-esteem, improve mental and emotional health, and help us have fuller lives

• Interpersonal relationships are the heart and soul of human experience

Feelings

• Feelings and thoughts are different, but also are one and the same. They are like the head and tail of a coin.

• Feelings are emotions and sensations and they are different from thoughts, beliefs, interpretations and convictions

Coping with emotions

• Identify what is an emotion? • Identify different types of emotions• Identify the difference between a emotion and behavior and a emotion and thought. • Identify two major categories of emotions: Good And Bad. • Identify the difference between emotional feelings and physical feelings of pain,

hunger and so on.

EXPRESSING FEELINGS IN A HEALTHY MANNER

•USE I STATEMENTS-THEY HELP IN EXPRESING FEELING HONESTLY

•EXPRESS THINGS PRODUCTIVELY

•RESPECTFULLY CONFRONT SOME ONE

•CLARIFY WHAT YOU EXACTLY FEEL

•COMMUNICATE DIFFICULT FEELINGS IN A MANNER THAT THE OTHER PERSON THAT THE OTHER PERSON LISTENS

•PREVENT FEELING FROM BUILDING UP

Pressure• If feelings are not expressed or shared, then pressure builds

inside the person and the effects can be harmful• Using drugs/alcohol does not relieve the person of the

pressure, rather it increases because the person loses his/her innate ability to solve problems effectively.

• STRESS can be defined as “a state of physical or psychological strain which imposes demands for adjustments upon the individual”

Aggression Volcano

• It is important to speak up when someone hurts you or upsets you in order to keep feelings of anger from building up, until they explode.

Handling Stress • An individual can reduce stress by:

1. Cultivating belief in self.2. Developing Inner-directed personality.3. Developing self-coping mechanism for stress- reduction4. Cultivating positive habits, based on interest, such as sports, Breathing exercise, Yoga and Meditation.

Relaxation Technique

Anger Management

• Anger is often the result of feeling hurt, being ignored, rejected, or feeling disrespected.

• Steps of Expressing Anger Respectfully:• Acknowledge your anger.• Take a – Time Out.• Identify and examine sources of your feelings.• Separate energy of anger from issues related to anger.• Decide how & when you will express your anger.• Talk to the person. Be open, direct and respectful.• Make “I” statements.• Listen to the other person’s point of view.

What we learn?

• To be able to explore alternatives• Weigh pros and cons• Make rational decisions• Communicate effectively• To say “No”• Be assertive

Thus, The ‘Life Skills’ ….

• Are Applied

In Various Aspects Of LifeIn Human Relationships, Learning About Rights & ResponsibilitiesIn Health Issues:

Mental Health-StressesHIV-AIDS /STD PreventionDrug abuse,Sexual violenceTeenage pregnancySuicide Prevention

Build friendly relationships.

（In terp erso nal）

Understand one’s self

Self( -awareness)

Life Skills

A bilities to deal with and

solve daily problems Express one’s self through words and

attitude.

（Com m unication ）

Feel empathy for others.

（Em path y）

Think objectively and critica lly.

（Cr itical T h inking ）

Solve problems positively.

（Problem Solving ）

Decide and Judge on one’s own

(D ecision- m aking)

Think with creativity and imagination.

（Cr eative T hinking ）

Control stress.

(M anaging S tress and Feelings)