LISTENING SKILLS

Why do we listen?

To gain information and ideas

To get feedback

To participate in another person’s story

To be inspired

To question and test evidence and assumptions

To improve your own communication

“The effectiveness of the spoken words hinges not so much on how people talk as on how they listen”

ListeningSpeakingReading Writing

PAUL RANKIN’S RESEARCH: 70% OF OUR WAKING TIME IS SPENT IN COMMUNICATING

45%

30%

16%

9%

A neglected skill

Listening is perhaps one of the most important skills we have, yet it is one of the least recognized.

Comparison of Different Communication Activities

Listening speaking Reading Writing

Learned First second Third Fourth

Used Most

45%

Next to most 30%

Next to least

16%

Least

9%

Taught Least Next to least

Next to most

Most

How we show we are not listening…

o Turn-awayo Shuffle papers on your desko Put papers in your brief-caseo Have a glazed looko Pick up a file and start readingo Turn and talk to someone elseo Start answering phone callo Not respond to a question intentionally o Continue to look at the monitor

Hearing vs. Listening

HearingPhysiological processReception of sound waves by ears

ListeningHearing as well as understanding the words as well as non verbal signals.

Research reveals that although we spend so much of our time ‘listening’ we don’t necessarily remember all we’re told.

70 % or all our communication efforts are:misunderstood, misinterpreted, rejected, disliked, distorted, or not heard (Even in the same language, same culture)!

The fact that people are born with two eyes and two ears,

but only one tongue suggests that we ought to look and listen

twice as much as we speak. 

Poor Listening Skills lead to

MissedOpportunities

Signals

Insights into how the opponent is

thinking

1. T - That is what the passage says.

2. ? - The story does not say whether he did or not.

3. F - The story says he did produce something new.

4. ? - The story does not say whether or not Ron Thomson had authority to spend money.

5. ? - The story does not say whether others besides the three mentioned had such authority.

6. T - That is what the passage says.

7. ? - Not all executives are necessarily men.

8. ? - The story suggests this but does not state it.

9. ? - I f Ron Thomson is one of the three executives given authority to spend Rs 50,000 this would be true; but the passage does not specify whether he is one of three.

10. F - MAC was the Research Director.

11. T - The story does not specify whether MAC gave such authority to his best men.

Supreme electronics

MAC, the Research Director of Supreme electronics, ordered a crash programme to develop a new process. He gave three of his executives, authority to spend Rs. 50,000 each without consulting him. He sent one of his

best men, Ron Thomson to the firm's North Region plant with orders to work on the new process independently. Within one week, Ron Thomson produced a highly promising new approach to the problem.

Analysis People do not listen/ read everything They constantly keep adding, filtering information

to/ from the messages received These additions/ deletions are based on their past

experiences, perceptions, biases, stereotypes, prejudices.

Even when they are in doubt they don’t ask questions

When people do not understand they add data or information from their sides to make complete understanding

Once they think they have understood they take a stand and argue in favor of their understanding

Why don’t we listen better?

Message Overload

Preoccupation

External Noise

Effort

Tired

Rapid Thought

There is a considerable difference between the speed at which a person talks and the speed at which he thinks …

There is a considerable difference between the speed at which a person talks and the speed at which he thinks …

The average person speaks at about 125 words per minute…An average persons thinking/Listening speed is in the range of 500 words per minute…

Results….

DaydreamTune outMental ‘walk about’

Kinds of listening

5. Empathetic Listening

4. Attentive Listening

(within other's frame of

reference)

(within one's own frame of

reference)

- Stephen Covey

3. Selective Listening

2. Pretend Listening

1. Ignoring

Empathize

• Put ourselves in speaker’s shoes

• Ignore our own perception of the situation for the moment

• Accept speaker’s feelings, thoughts, and ideas of the situation as ours.

• Make eye contact

• Empathizing does not mean we need to agree with the speaker.

How can we improve our listening skills?

Active Listening

Listening with ears, eyes and heart

Through Active Listening

PARAPHRASINGInstant RepetitionRestating what another has said in your own words

SUMMARIZINGSUMMARIZINGTesting your understandingTesting your understanding Pulling together the main points of a speaker

QUESTIONINGQUESTIONINGAsking relevant questionsto help in better way and reduce errors

Paraphrasing…try it out!Paraphrasing is simply restating what another person has said in your own words.

The best way to paraphrase is to listen carefully to what the other person is saying.

Benefits of ParaphrasingHelps listener to make sure they understood the message correctly. Allows speaker an opportunity to correct any misunderstanding immediately. Allows speaker to know that listener have heard and is interested in what he/she has to say.

Use initial phrases such as:

In other words…

I gather that…

If I understand what you are saying…

What I hear you saying is…

Pardon my interruption, but let me see if I understand you correctly…

Summarizing…try it out!Summarizing pulls important ideas, facts or data together to establish a basis for further discussion and/or review progress.

The person summarizing must listen carefully in order to organize the information systematically.

It is useful for emphasizing key points.

“If I understand you correctly, your main concerns are…”

“These seem to be the key ideas you have expressed…”

Questioning…a critical skill

1. Closed questions

Generally result in short yes/no or other one word answers. They should be used only when you want precise, quick answers. Otherwise, they inhibit thought.

2. Open-ended questions Questions that begin with “how”, “what” and “why”.

There are two basic types of questions:

Practice your questioning skills…

Rephrase the following closed questions to make them open-ended:

1. Are you feeling tired now?

2. Did you find that report useful?

3. Is there anything bothering you?

4. So everything is fine, then?

Tips to Better Listening

Stop TalkingEliminate DistractionsSit so you can see & hear ConcentrateFocus on the speakerMaintain an open mindAvoid prejudicesDon’t give advice until asked (role play)

Show interest in the speaker and the conversationDo not react to emotive words Prompt the speakerAsk questionsAsk for clarificationAttend to non-verbal cues of the speakerTake notesGive Feedback

Role Play 1

A is a Customer Service Manager in Electricity Supply Company.

B is a consumer who has got a very high inflated bill. His usual bills are for Rs 4000/- for two months. He got a bill for Rs 19000/- for May and June 2010. He has made three visits to your office but juniors have not been able to resolve the issue. He is angry and frustrated.

Role Play 2

B is Manager (Airport) of Jet Airways at Delhi.A is a traveler who arrived from USA to attend a conference in New Delhi. After two days of stay in New Delhi, he is scheduled to fly to Hong Kong for business meeting from where she is to move to New Zealand for a week’s vacation. Her family is coming from US to New Zealand directly.Two checked-in bags of A are missing and your best guess is that they have been put on a flight to Mexico which is served by Jet Airways only twice a week. She is angry and frustrated.

Barriers in Communication

Differences in Perception. Language. Tendency to Stereotype. Assumptions / Jumping to conclusion. Noise, Physical Distractions. Emotional Barriers (Stress, Fear, Anxiety). Badly Expressed message. Focus on Self. Poor Listening