listening workshop
TRANSCRIPT
How Great Leaders Listen
Semira RahemtullaDecember 2, 2016
A Thought Experiment…
On a quiet Sunday afternoon, when your partner says:
“I hate Sundays! I get so stressed on Sundays because Monday comes next! I hate my job! I wish I could figure out how I could not have to work there ever again.”
What do you say back?
3 Levels of Listening
1.Listening to win• Rejecting / tell her she’s wrong
(often nicely)
2.Listening to fix• Adding new info, asking a question
3.Listening to learn• Content• Emotion• Meaning
- So work is so bad you’d rather not even go? And you’re frustrated because you can’t figure out how to get around a thing you hate?
- That’s not true! Sundays are the best! You’ve got to enjoy Sundays - at least it’s not yet Monday.
- You know, Sundays used to be like that for me, too. You just have to not think about Monday.
- What’s going on at work?
Our mental models affect how we listen
How can I get her to focus on the real issue?
How can I get her to see it my way?
Why is she being so difficult?
PEOPLE HAVEPROBLEMS
Listening to “fix”
What is she saying?What’s the central feeling? What is it connected to?
What’s her implicit hope, intent, or fear?
PEOPLE HAVE PERSPECTIVES
Listening to understand