Living Well with Fibromyalgia

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What I have to Say? By: Melissa Swanson

I want to Thank you Fibro Modem for giving me the

opportunity to edit this edition of Living Well with

Fibromyalgia.

I was fortunate to have such a great group of writers

willing to contribute their time to making this a

wonderful experience.

I chose Success to be the theme for this issue. Pretty

sure it is not very common to see the words

Fibromyalgia and Success in the same sentence.

So why choose Success?

Fibromyalgia has given me a new look at life. I have

learned to EMBRACE CHANGE and look for the good

in every situation. I have gained strength thru learning

how to manage my symptoms and have created life-

long Friendships. I believe through education, positive

affirmation & a great support team we can still live our

life.

The key words are “LIVE LIFE”.

Would I love it to go away? Of course.

It isn’t going anywhere soon. So in the meantime I am

a Fibro Warrior~Living Life.

Read more This is My Life ~ Surviving Fibromyalgia

and Facebook page: Fibro Warriors ~ Living Life

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This Issue 4. Is Kratom for you?

6. What does Success mean when you have Fibromyalgia?

8. Allow your Spirit to Soar

9. What to say to a Critic?

12. Lord Hear my Prayer

14. Success

16. Fibromyalgia Cutting Edge Information

17. Choosing Happy

18. Peace in the Midst of Pain

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Is Kratom for you?

Since this edition is about “success,” I thought I would share something that helps

me be successful. It’s herbal incense called Kratom.

After my first few years with FMS/CFS I decided to try opiate therapy. The pain was

just too great for me to accomplish anything worthwhile. Add that to the fatigue and I

was an unholy mess. I figured things couldn’t get any worse. And they didn’t…for a

while.

When I first started opiate therapy I was over the moon. Opiates affect me very well.

I don’t feel tired, I feel energized! I don’t feel lethargic, I feel motivated! I feel like

superman.

During the first year or so things were pretty good. Tolerance became an issue so

there was some dose adjustment. Eventually they moved me to OxyContin.

Year 2 was all downhill. I started taking more pills than I was supposed to, thus

running out early and getting sick. I was no longer medication dependent; I was

addicted to the high. Eventually, I withdrew from the program. I’ve known myself long

enough to know I was not going to be able to do this in moderation. It just felt too

good.

There was no denying I was much more functional before tolerance and addiction

became a problem. Opiates just work well with my body. In walks Kratom. Kratom is

sold as herbal incense and is legal in most countries. There is a handful in which it is

banned so do your research. No one is responsible for what you order except

yourself!

Kato’s consistency is that of very finely crushed tea leaves. There are plenty of

places on the net to search out its many different uses, however, the only legal way

to buy it, is herbal incense, not for human consumption.

Kratom is also like an apple tree in that there are many varieties, each having their

own aroma. When the incense is used, a different effect occurs. Some are cerebral

and energizing. Some are pain killing and sedating. Some are a mixture of both. You

can even mix and match them for your taste.

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At this point you might be wondering what the

differences are between Kratom and Opiates.

Well Kratom affects the body like a very light

opiate. You can feel the mild effects. It also has

a built in stop mechanism. If too much incense

were used, you would feel a bit ill. The feeling of

being carsick is the best way I can describe it.

Opiates however, the more the merrier. With

Kratom, even an experienced user quitting cold turkey, anything that could be

labeled a “withdrawal” symptom is light and tolerable, whereas coming off opiates is

horrible.

I’ve been using Kratom on and off since I came off opiates a few years back and it

has helped me tremendously. No other substance I’ve come across has been as

helpful and useful in the long term as Kratom has for me. Keep in mind I discussed it

with ALL of my Dr's before using it and did my research. I suggest you do the same.

Like all products I’m sure it will not be for everyone. But if you have a problem with

opiates like I do, perhaps it can help you.

Saveonkratom.com is where I have found the best products at the best prices. Great

service and a well put together team. I have been all over the Internet looking for

“The Best.” I found them and have not been anywhere else since. Disclaimer: I do

not work for them; they have not paid me - not in money, nor in free product. It’s

simply a great place to go. I would be remiss if I did not mention them.

In conclusion success for all of us is often a hard goal to achieve. I spend an awful

lot of time in these articles talking about how we can defeat ourselves mentally and

how to avoid doing that. Or how to think to succeed; and what mindset we should try

to maintain in order to achieve it. No matter how you slice it, success is difficult for

us, whether it’s a bar we set for ourselves, or one that’s been set for us, it can often

seem just out of our reach. Some days we need a physical boost to get us there and

for those of us who have no other alternatives (MMJ, Opiate Therapy) Kratom might

be the answer. It’s almost all the positives of opiate therapy without the negatives.

That’s pretty unusual.

Do your research. Consult your Dr. See if it might help you. It’s put me on the path to

success when I need a boost. And unlike Opiate Therapy, when I need it, it’s there,

when I don’t, I can put it aside. I’m not a slave to anything I don’t want to be. I’m very

happy I found it…you might be too.

Please remember when any new product is discussed:

ALWAYS consult your physician before introducing a new substance into your routine.

Joshua David is a 34-year-old Boston resident and copywriter who was diagnosed

with FMS and CFS at age 26. Joshua enjoys poetry, pottery and dog training. He

can be found at Squidoo, his Wordpress website, Facebook, Twitter, and the Men

with Fibro Community. With a beautiful wife whom he adores, a dog and cat, Joshua

finds his hands, heart and days, full and satisfying.

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According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, the definition of success is:

suc•cess noun \sək-ˈses\

: the fact of getting or achieving wealth, respect, or fame

: the correct or desired result of an attempt

: someone or something that is successful

: a person or thing that succeeds

The key element to look at here is "the correct or

desired result of an attempt". Taking this definition

into consideration, success is completely relative.

What one person deems as success may differ

from that of another.

People with Fibromyalgia, or any chronic illness,

tend to be their own worst critics. Afraid that others

will think we're just being lazy, we tend to aim too

high and push too hard a lot of the time. We throw ourselves into pain, fatigue, and

insomnia flares by overcompensating for the times that we are down. No matter what

we accomplish in a day, or a week, or a month we never feel like we have

accomplished enough. We don't feel "successful" in our everyday lives.

Unfortunately society as a whole has put us in that mindset. Way too many people,

the majority of "normals" in fact, don't know enough about our illness to make

Amy is the owner/author of The Fibro Fog, as well as the correlating

Facebook page. Her blog has been voted as one of the top 15

Fibromyalgia blogs of 2014 by Healthline, and has received this

honor for 3 consecutive years. The blog has also been certified for

medical accuracy by an M.D. through Healthline.

She also was featured in articles by Dr. Sanjay Gupta in both

January and February of 2014. Amy presents a motivational seminar

full of tips and tricks for living with a chronic pain illness.

For more information about the seminar or to book her for a public

speaking engagement, please see her blog. Amy is a 43 year old

single mom to four now-grown children, and suffers from

Fibromyalgia along with several other chronic conditions. She's

getting ready to undertake the task of writing a book about the daily

trials of living with chronic pain and fatigue illnesses.

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educated comments or to even form an educated thought about it. Years ago when

people started to hear about Fibromyalgia, they'd just hear "that's a garbage can

diagnosis given to hypochondriacs". Another old one that went around was "Lazy

people make up those symptoms to try and get a Fibromyalgia diagnosis". People

had heard that there wasn't any medical evidence of Fibromyalgia truly existing and

therefore didn't believe in the diagnosis.

Worried about what the uneducated people will think of us or what they'll say behind

our back, pushes us beyond our limits and allows us to set our goals too high for a

person with our condition. We tend to get angry with those in our family or our

community that think we don't do enough, but we have to take a hard look at

ourselves and our way of thinking too. Stop allowing yourself to feel bad if you leave

the dishes sit in the sink for a night. Don't feel like you're "less than" if you have a

basket of clean clothes sitting in your room that hasn't been put away yet. Don't let

yourself feel like a failure! Stop thinking that you're not successful, and start looking

at all the things you are successful at.

If you're in a flare, and you get out of bed in the morning, that is a success. It may

not be for a "normal", but it IS for a Spoonie. If you get out of your pajamas and get

dressed, that is a success. If you cook a meal, that is a success. If you take a

shower that is a success. It drains a lot of energy to get undressed, stand under the

hot water, bend and reach to wash your body, raise your arms above your head to

wash your hair, dry off, get redressed, then finally go collapse somewhere! To a

normal, that's all taken for granted. To a spoonie, it's really hard sometimes to do.

Personally, I've had times that I'm starving. Literally sick to my stomach feel like I'm

going to vomit starving, yet I just hurt too badly and am too fatigued to get up, go

make food -even if it's just a sandwich or microwaving something frozen, to eat. The

thought of even moving the fork from the dish to mouth repeatedly seems like way to

much of an effort. I know you all have had that same feeling before. I know, because

that's the life of a fellow Fibromite.

A "normal" would never ever understand the scenarios I've written about above. If

they can't understand that, how can we expect them to think the way we think? We

can't. What we need to do, is to stop worrying about if someone else thinks we're

successful or not, and look at our individual lives. Don't be too hard on yourself. Stop

thinking of success in the same manner as a "normal" would.

I know that every single one of you have successes every single day in your life.

Stop and think about what you've succeeded at for the day. Then think about what

you've been successful at for the week. Then for the month. After you think about

that for a few minutes, I want you to allow yourself to feel proud of how successful

you truly are. The biggest success of all for each and every one of you? Being with

us. Fighting through the pain, fatigue, and depression each and every day. You're

successful, and don't ever forget it or let anyone tell you any different.

Much Love and Gentle Butterfly Hugs To Each and Every One Of

You,

Amy -The Fibro Frog

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by; Clarissa Shepherd

Author - Find Your Way: A Guide to Natural Healing

Those of us surviving chronic illness walk a very different road

than most. Functioning, while living with pain, exhaustion, brain

fog, sensory overload and more. Then add in the loneliness,

isolation, anxiety and depression and you find yourself

overwhelmed by it all. It’s not only about where we are today,

but about how long we've been here. Unlike some illness, when

we speak of ours, it’s in terms of years, not days or weeks. We all suffer the loss of

things undone, lives not lived, events missed, and the days yet to come. Being

misunderstood by society, friends, and family, can lead to a place of despair.

However, it’s in the place of sadness and darkness that you find your true strength.

You learn to flourish, even in your pain. You find new and creative ways to live. You

appreciate the simple things of life that most people take for granted. In order to

survive chronic illness, we must shift our thinking, concerning what productive, now

means to us. Your limitations are, just that, limitations. We need not allow other

people, nor society, to define us or impose their ideas of self-worth onto us.

You are a vital human being. This illness is not of your own making. It’s not who you

are. It’s just where you are. You show your strength and courage with each breath

you take, every obstacle you overcome, each time you learn new ways to cope. You

are fearless, even in your pain.

When you hear those voices of defeat speaking to you, tell yourself that you're not

defeated by this. You're only learning to maneuver on a different path. Realizing this

is empowering. Know you're courageous, even when you don't feel you are. Know

you're strong, even when you don't feel you are. Know that living life, in a different

way, is not giving in or giving up. It’s regaining power that was already within

you. You've grown and flourished despite, chronic illness. You show your bravery,

by staring illness in the face, moving through it each and every day, with grace and

perseverance.

We walk this journey together. A kinship, of the heart. A combination of many

different people from many different backgrounds, yet one in spirit. There is strength

in numbers and for us, knowledge is power. Be kind to yourself. Respect who you

are. Love the person that you've grown to be.

My wish for you is that you will see this in yourself. That you'll bask in this truth and

that this truth will rest on you, settle in you, and allow your spirit to soar.

Link for the USA

Link for Europe

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When I mention the word “critic,” who do you envision? Is it the crusty and grumbling

pair of critics, Statler and Waldorf who sat in the balcony at the Muppet Show? They

heckled their way through every performance. Or maybe you’re thinking of the

fastidious food critic, Anton-Ego, from the movie Ratatouille?

As you can tell, I’m a big fan of sophisticated entertainment. If it makes me laugh –

and especially if it makes my family laugh – then it’s a winner in my home.

We truly love to hate critics, don’t we? We boo and hiss at those who criticize our

favorite movies, celebrities, TV shows, and books. Let’s look at the Disney movie

character, Anton-Ego, specifically. What is it about him that we love to hate? I can

hear you shouting your answers from here. Anton-Ego is arrogant, obnoxious, self-

centered, closed-minded, and … yes, he has an enormous ego.

What if I were to tell you that there exists a far worse critic, and that you know

her (or him) intimately?

The worst critic you could ever imagine is not in your imagination at all. That critic

lives in your head 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Yep – it’s your own inner voice.

As a child, you likely heard this from a parent,

Don’t believe everything you hear.

But here’s what else you should have been told,

Don’t believe everything you THINK!

We have a natural disconnect between what we

think and what we say out loud. Of course, that’s a

good thing. We’d probably end up alone in an

apartment with 13 stray cats if we said every thought

that popped into our heads. Our thoughts are not always kind or useful, are they?

We also have a natural disconnect between what we think, and the validity we place

on what we think. We often tell ourselves that we’re “just being realistic” or that we’re

simply “honest” with ourselves.

Seriously?

Imagine analyzing your reflection in a department store dressing room as you try on

a new pair of jeans. If you’re like most of us, your eyes would go directly to your

greatest perceived flaws.

Some of you may think:

If I just lost 5 pounds (or 15, or ….) these would look so much better.

I look just like XX (someone you’d never want to look like)

I can’t believe I’ve let myself go

What to Say to a Critic Sue Ingebretson

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Others of you may have thoughts that aren’t as kind:

I look like a denim-covered slob

I’ll never get a handle on my life

I’m such a loser

I failed at my last diet and every diet and can’t ever stick with anything

Ouch. If that’s honesty, I could do without it all day long.

I’m a great student of the human mind. I’m fascinated by how and why we think what

we do. I’m particularly interested in the subconscious mind, because my field of work

depends on helping others to adapt to and embrace healthy lifestyle changes. I’m

always intrigued with the reasons behind why some thrive with change and others,

not so much.

Here’s what you need to know about the subconscious. It. Doesn’t. Like. Change.

The subconscious mind works very hard to keep you safe. If you never change,

never try anything new, never dip your toe in the pool and dive in, you’ll be safe. The

problem is that the methods used by the subconscious mind, are really quite sneaky.

One particularly sabotaging method is repetition.

How often do you find yourself repeating something in your head over and over?

When this happens, it’s not usually something positive. We find ourselves repeating

our own insults as well as the ones coming from others.

A few years ago, I gave a lecture on general nutrition and felt all pumped up for the

event. I’m very passionate about the body’s ability to heal, and absolutely love

sharing this information. I talked about foods that support the body and foods that

cause trouble. I talked about hydration, fitness, and stress-management techniques.

My props and presentation slides were attractive, fun, and engaging (if I do say so).

Yet, in the Q and A afterward, there was one person who definitely had an agenda. I

won’t go into detail about her personal attack on me, but suffice it to say that what

she said didn’t matter. It was the intention behind it that really had steam. It was very

hurtful and I can vividly remember feeling verbally scalded.

There were hundreds of people at that event. I signed people up for my programs,

autographed and sold copies of my book, and had great conversations with many of

the attendees. I even had people tell me that the objectionable person has “issues”

and had lashed out at other lecturers in the past. But, of all the overwhelmingly good

things I heard, what do you think spun around in my head on the way home?

You guessed it. It was the nasty comments from ONE person. Her words stung like

the dickens. I repeated them over and over in my head until I got all worked up

physically. I got a headache. I felt sick. I wanted to lie down. I wanted to quit

lecturing. I wanted to quite writing. I wanted to quit breathing (well, almost).

Have you ever done this?

I bet you have. It’s easy to point out that our inner critic serves a purpose, but I think

it’s more important to focus on what purpose it does not serve. Here’s the scathing

reality:

The inner critic is not a teller of truths.

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In fact, your inner critic is a purveyor of lies. The most effective lies are the ones with

bits of truth woven in for quasi-authenticity. Your inner critic uses this skill to

perfection and makes the digs really count. After all, your critic knows all of your

deepest and darkest secrets.

What can you do about it? Here are a few thoughts on keeping your inner critic from

getting the upper hand.

1. It takes awareness of your critical thoughts in order to take action. Start to pay

attention to the criticisms that rattle through your mind – especially the ones

that are repeated over and over.

2. Once you become aware, really analyze each thought for the inner kernel of

truth. You’ll soon recognize a pattern. You’ll notice enough truth for you to buy

in, but not enough to make it 100% true. Remember that while there may be

an ounce of truth in the thought, there’s usually a pound of fiction.

3. Notice that your inner critic uses harsh terms such as always, never, should,

can’t, etc. This is a great place to start challenging your thoughts. If your inner

critic says that you “never” succeed, realize that can’t possibly be true. Black

and white statements can’t measure up to scrutiny. We are not “always”

wrong or “never” right.

4. Pay attention to the thoughts, ideas, dreams, goals, visions, etc. that you’d

like to be thinking about instead. Make them an intentional focus.

Here’s the best news of all. With practice and intention,

the inner critic can be tamed. As you begin to shift your

thinking toward a more positive future, you’ll notice that

formerly nasty voice going from a shout to a whisper.

And, when the inner critic is silenced, the body as a

whole can breathe a sigh of relief. That breath may be

the very thing you need to get clarity on what steps

you’ll take next on your own healing journey.

To learn about the ingredients in typical everyday foods, you’re invited to sign up for

Sue’s free Stop Feeding Yourself PAIN guide

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One year ago in March, I wrote out a prayer asking God for help to move into the

larger town a half hour away from where we currently lived. I was comfortable living

in my little house in a rural area, but I knew it was not good for me. My Fibromyalgia

was getting worse as I sat inside my house in my chair day by day, doing nothing but

letting depression take over my life. I had stopped driving because of my

medications and exhaustion, and that meant if I wanted to go anywhere I had to ask

someone to take me. I refused to ask someone to drive me because I hated to

inconvenience others with my small needs. My husband was already exhausted from

a long day at work, and most of the time he had to make supper and do the things I

never got around to also. I felt useless and hopeless, other than an occasional visit

from my Avon customers who had to pick up their own orders.

But it seemed as if God wasn’t listening to my prayer because there was no

opportunity to move. We looked everywhere and there simply was no place to rent in

our budget. It was as if all doors were closed and my prayer had been put aside.

Then one day my son and his wife called us, and asked if they could live with us.

They both had good jobs in a city a couple of hours from us, but were struggling with

college loans and now that she was pregnant they were afraid that they would not be

able to afford day care. They asked if I could babysit to help them out if they moved

in with us.

I was terrified that I couldn’t physically take care of a baby, but there was no way I

would ever say no to my children needing a place to live. So I said yes. I started

praying for a miracle to be able to take care of the baby when it arrived, even asking

others to pray for the same thing. We discarded our hopes to move, and I began to

think that maybe we were meant to stay there so that we could help our kids out.

The kids came over and fixed up the upstairs for themselves, doing some painting

and minor repairs. In September they moved in, and immediately they took over the

house. My son was especially anxious about his first baby, and went to work

cleaning and decluttering things, even as I tried to argue that I needed each item he

was throwing out. With them trying to improve the house for their needs, it became

an emotional time of change for all of us. Only the thin threads of love kept us

together each day, along with hopes of a healthy baby.

On a cold November night I woke up to find my daughter in law in

serious labor pain. We all went to the hospital and as each hour

went by I felt more anxious for her and the baby. It was a long,

exhausting ordeal, but finally the most beautiful baby girl arrived,

and thankfully both mother and baby were in good health. I

absolutely could not wait to put that granddaughter in my arms,

Theresa has done a variety of things including personal spiritual coaching, writing a book, newsletters, poems, and free-lance for Christian media, and was an Avon leader and representative for five years before giving it up to focus on caring for her granddaughter. She feels her most important work has been raising her three children and being actively involved in family along with her husband of 27 years

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but the young couple was exhausted and needed their rest, so we went home tired,

happy and relieved.

When I finally had some time to hold that innocent beautiful baby the next day, my

problems immediately took a back seat. She and I quickly formed an unshakable

bond and I learned to sense what she needed. My daughter in law went back to work

as soon as she was able, leaving me full responsibility. I was amazed that as I took

care of her, my back grew stronger and I felt more capable. I still had pain, but I was

able to do whatever needed to be done. I knew that God had answered my prayer

for the miracle to be able to take care of her.

Even though the baby was doing well, the rest of us were frazzled trying to live

together. One night I went off by myself crying to God, imploring Him to help us. In

my quiet time with God, I saw that it was now time to move to the town we had

wanted to before. I knew in my heart that God was telling me to let go of the house

and let the kids stay there. I knew that everything would fall in place and we would

find a place to live where we wanted. I felt horrible about not being with the baby,

but I had to trust God. I came back home that night to find my son waiting and

concerned for me. I told him that we were going to move, and he asked if I would

still watch the baby in our new place. Of course I would! His wife worked in the town

we were going to move to, so she could easily drop the baby off before work.

Just like that, everything that had seemed impossible the year before fell into place.

We rented the first place we looked at since it was in our budget and had everything

we needed. We moved almost exactly a year from the day of my original prayer.

Things even got better. My son and daughter in law ended up following us to the

same town, due to the house being put up for sale, so now we are only minutes from

each other.

I still struggle daily with Fibromyalgia. It is a hard thing to live with, not knowing what

my body will do each day. But when that baby girl comes smiling at my door, and

into my arms, somehow I feel whole again. I am needed and able to give love and

care. I am on the floor with her, outside walking her in the stroller, holding her in my

lap in the mornings as we reconnect with each other. I have lost weight, gained

some strength, and even done a little driving here. I have people around me at all

times, and the dog park is a short walk away. Last year I could not have imagined

how much my life was about to change with one little baby. Now I know that God did

hear my prayer, but it had to be in His timing and His order and His way really is

perfect. No amount of money could give me what she has brought to our life. God

has brought spring’s new life to me and my husband as

we tend to our granddaughter together. I commented the

other day to my husband that people talk about the good

ole days because they didn’t realize how good they had

it back then. But for us, whatever tomorrow brings, today

we are in the good ole days. There will always be

struggle and sorrow, but even with Fibromyalgia, at the

end of a long day of babysitting, I can still say, today was

a good day.

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Julie-Anne is an award-winning author and professional speaker who sits on the Governor’s

Advisory Council on Mental Health. After finding her own way out of the darkness, she hopes

to help others do the same. The incidents mentioned in this article are covered in depth in

her autobiography, Fallen Angel Rising (written under pen name Bridgette C. Kent). For

additional information on speaking engagements, blogs, quotes and contact information, see

her website or Facebook page

Success; No two people define it the same way. Not only would you define it

differently than I would, but the person I am today would define it differently than the

person I was yesterday, as would you.

In my late 30s, I finally felt successful. I had a fabulous physique, a country home

that I loved, a sporty red convertible and had just started my “dream job” as a 911

dispatcher. I didn’t have long to cherish this feeling. Soon, my world was turned

upside down.

Throughout my 17-year career in emergency services, I struggled to relate to people

with mental illness or depression. I wondered why they couldn’t see that their

problems weren’t that bad, or why they didn’t just “change their thoughts.”

In 2008, when I began sleeping too much and struggling with every-day activities, I

blamed long work hours and a second-shift schedule. I refused to consider

depression. By then, I felt like a complete failure. I hated myself for not being able to

“snap out of it.” Just as I had judged others, I now judged myself. On December 7,

2008, I took a lethal overdose of pills and lay down to die. Fortunately, “mother’s

intuition” saved my life. From 30 miles away, my mom somehow knew. She called

my next-door neighbors and my best friend, and I woke the next day on a ventilator

in the ICU.

For the next year, success meant simply surviving. I was fortunate that the chemical

and hormonal imbalances in my body were easily identified and corrected. When

they were, I was fascinated to see how those imbalances had changed my

perception and reasoning ability. I finally understood mental illness.

Unfortunately, my colleagues and supervisors still held the same judgments that I

once did. I was harassed relentlessly until I took an emergency leave in January of

2010. I knew that my workplace was threatening my well-being and that I could not

return. I started a company and planned to build the business when I returned from a

February cruise with family and friends. It was not to be. On that cruise, I was struck

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with pain and fatigue like nothing I had known before. Once home, I fell into bed and

slept for a week. The following Monday, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia.

If you’re reading this, you’ve probably already experienced the stigma of

Fibromyalgia. With a “known psychiatric history” it is even worse. When I was still

crying in pain after trying the basic fibro drugs, my doctor said that it wasn’t “just

fibromyalgia and depression.” He told me I had a “dissociative disorder that would

require intensive inpatient psychiatric evaluation & treatment.” Imagine hearing that

from your doctor. If I wasn’t depressed before, I was now. Needing to know, I fought

for a week to be admitted to a psychiatric hospital. When they refused to admit me, I

finally said I was suicidal. To this day, I don’t know if I was or not. I only know that I

was desperate – for pain relief and for answers. After ten days in the hospital - with

psychiatrists, psychologists, pain doctors and physical therapists - I was released

with a diagnosis of…“Fibromyalgia and depression.” (Shocking, I know.)

By now, I had been out of work for nearly a year, was almost completely home-

bound, needed a cane to walk and had put on 100lbs. With little hope of ever living a

“normal” life again, I was angry at fate and the world. I wanted my old life back. My

life had always been about helping others. Now that I couldn’t even walk, how would

I ever help anyone else again?

In mid-2011, I sold my home and moved into the small apartment that my family built

for me in my brother’s lake home. I had recently found a great doctor, and things

were looking up. Eventually, I came to terms with what was and realized it was up to

me to turn that in to what could be. While I could no longer help others as a

firefighter/EMT/911 dispatcher, I could still make a difference. I knew there was value

in my story and that by sharing it I could prevent others from suffering as I had for

the last few years.

My autobiography (now called Fallen Angel Rising under the

pen-name “Bridgette C. Kent”) was published in early 2012 and

quickly won two international awards. I soon began hearing

from people all over the world who were inspired by the things

that I shared in the book, on my blog and on my Facebook

page. They were thanking me for offering hope and for sharing

their story. People who thought they were alone in the world

saw their story in mine and no longer felt alone... Helping

others was helping me in a profound way. I had my purpose

back and could contribute again.

Illness has taught me that success is not about how I look, what I do for a living or

the things I own. It is not what other people think of me, how many friends I have or

how many books I sell. To me, success is overcoming the challenges that I’ve been

given to live a life of purpose. It is using my darkness to light the way for others and

finding a way to change the world, even when my world has changed. Some days,

success simply means loving me despite the limits of fibromyalgia. Other days, it is

shattering those limits to achieve what once seemed impossible. I now define

success as making a positive difference in the lives of others. When we make a

positive difference in even one life, we change the world for the better. Everyone, no

matter their challenges, can be successful in this way.

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Celeste Cooper is a blogger and the author of several self-help

books, the Broken Body, Wounded Spirit, Balancing the See

Saw of Chronic Pain [Series] and Integrative Therapies for

Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and Myofascial

Pain: The Mind-Body Connection, (co-author, Jeff Miller, PhD),

and contributing author to Fibromyalgia Insider Secrets: 10 Top

Experts. She is also a freelance writer on fibromyalgia and chronic

pain, and she is a pain advocate as a participant in the Pain Action Alliance to

Implement a National Strategy (PAINSproject.org). She has a website devoted to

fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, myofascial pain syndrome and other

overlapping and invisible pain and illnesses, which also includes helpful links and

information on managing and coping with chronic illness. Celeste has experienced

personal struggles trials, setbacks, and successes as the result of illness, which she

beliefs gives her the empathy necessary to be a patient advocate. She continues to

walk that walk, and understands there are times when that road can be narrow,

sometimes becoming enmeshed in its surrounding. She now advocates for

education, change, awareness, and research, and her goal is to share ways to

overcome obstacles and turn “road blocks” into a path full of opportunities.

Watch the interview between Celeste and Anthony Castelli, Attorney at Law, called

Fibromyalgia Cutting Edge Information and Help.

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My name is Dawn. I am a 45 year old wife, and mother of a 13 year old son.

I celebrate my 30th wedding anniversary on August 24th! I am a 20 year

Fibro Warrior. I have had to give up so much in the last two years, as a result

of fibro, but I still have much to be thankful for. Attitude is almost half the

battle...so; I'm halfway to a cure

Each day we are presented with choices:

What will I wear?

What will I eat?

How will I accomplish this task?

Our attitudes are also a choice. Living with fibromyalgia certainly presents plenty of

opportunity to choose to have a bad attitude, but I have found my attitude affects

how I feel. If I decide I am having a bad, I generally have a really bad day.

On the other hand, when I am having a bad day, if I can just fight thru the feelings of

frustration, anxiety, pain, unease, depression, fatigue, and fog, I may not have a

great day, but it is always a lot better than when I give in.

Life is good. I feel fortunate and blessed to wake each day, be able to move, even if

it takes a while. There are those who cannot move at all. I am thankful for little

victories throughout my days, and cheer my brain on when I remember something,

or do things right the first time around ;)

It isn't always so easy!

Sometimes I never get it right. Those times are most frustrating, and make me feel

quite inept.

However, I choose to laugh at myself more often than not, and realize it feels much

better than crying or feeling sorry for myself!

I force myself to have good days,

because life is short, and I will enjoy

the moments I can because I am…

Choosing

Happy

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Maureen DiOrio has a B.A. in Fine Arts, Drama. She has been onstage

dancing, singing and acting since she was quite young and still tries to

nurture that passion when she can. She enjoys reading, writing, and

being with friends and family, the beach, the warmth of the sun and

laughing. Married for almost 16 years, she and her husband have two

sons, ages 13 and 7. Maureen has Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue

Syndrome, Chronic Migraines, Depression and Myofascial Pain

Syndrome.

For many years I have read articles, blogs, and books about the phenomenon of

people suffering from terrible pain who were able to separate from their pain and find

inner peace despite their afflictions. I read of meditation, and tried it. Sadly, my ADD

mind never seemed to cooperate. Typically, this is how it would go: "I am still. I am

peaceful. My pain is here but I am at peace. I am, oh man I HAVE to remember to

make that dentist appointment for the kids. Oh! And, I have GOT to remember to pay

that parking ticket. Why can I never get anything done?! Oh no! My breathing! Okay,

start over. Deep breath in, and out. Damn, how did I miss that gigantic cobweb over

there? I wonder how long THAT has been there? Okay, seriously? This is not

working. I feel more stressed than before and I have things to do! "

In 2005, a friend of mine died of cancer. I've lost a few really special loved ones to

cancer now and each time it has been, well, awful. Cindy, in particular, taught me a

lot about being sick. I watched her and she was real. She cried, she motored

through, she lived, she got angry, she continued trying. In the midst of it all, her faith

got stronger. Cindy was the first person who taught me how suffering can be a gift.

I knew her cancer was spreading and when she first spoke of how suffering could be

a gift, my assumption was that the disease was affecting her mental capacity. I

listened to her and over time found myself drawn to her words. In suffering and pain,

she would say, we can find an inner peace and calm that is unavailable to us when

we are well. We also have more time to think of others. We can pray more, and give

more of our time to others. True, we may not be able to cook, clean; shop but we can

give the gift of time.

How often do we Fibro Warriors get our self worth entangled in what we do for a

career, how much we have "done" around the house, how organized our kids' rooms

are, how many home cooked meals we have prepared each week, and how we

should look?

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What happens when we, fatigued, pain filled and teary eyed women, instead, stop

for a few moments and look inside ourselves and listen to what is going on in there?

It is hard to do. I know! We are living in a modern society that is not very

encouraging of women to slow down. Just Be. We are the multi-taskers, the super

moms, the "pretend it is all great with a smile on our faces and collapse behind

closed doors sobbing women". We are supposed to be the independent women who

say, "Oh, no. I'm fine. I've got this".

But, really, do we? Of course not! Certainly not every day. Even women who do not

have chronic illness and pain, need support and help. So, when we sit down and put

our feet up or are lying on the couch or in bed, we have a choice. We can turn off the

TV, unplug, and just breathe and close our eyes and listen. If you are like me, you

will have a bunch of random thoughts fly through your head similar to the ones from

the earlier paragraph.

Smile and notice those thoughts and instead of criticizing yourself, you can smile at

that part of you but continue to breathe. Imagine what your insides look like or what

texture they feel like. Are they rough and red? Angry? Empty? Do you feel knotted

up in your stomach? Do you feel just nothing?

There is no right or wrong answer. Just take the time to be aware of them and notice

your pain. Where is it? Sometimes when I do this, it is easier to find where my pain is

not. Well, let's see....my ear lobes don't hurt. My pinky toe is feeling just ducky today.

Keep taking deep breaths. This is not magic or rocket science. This is not a cure or a

way to make pain disappear.

In the past, these kinds of articles annoyed me. Actually, that is an understatement.

They made me very angry. When suggested an exercise such as the one I am

suggesting above, it felt condescending and seemed to diminish the pain and fatigue

I experience daily. I would equate it to someone telling me that the pain of childbirth

is not really pain but a beautiful "sensation". Um, yeah. So, please stay with me. I am

on your side.

However, I have had a recent breakthrough in therapy and I am learning how to

separate my physical pain from my emotional being. For example, I can be in a high

amount of pain. I close my eyes and I can feel my pain throbbing in my shoulders,

neck, hips, knees, elbows, you name it.

While I am still, I swear I can feel the vibrations of the pain ripple through my body. It

feels swollen, red and angry. I am very aware of the pain. I then look inwards and

see what I see and feel. In the past I have had a constant large knotted ball in my

stomach, now I feel space, peace and calmness. I see light and openness. The first

time in probably 17 years since my diagnosis, I feel no anxiety or depression.

What???? How is this possible? How can I be in terrible pain but at the same time

feel peaceful and calm?

My therapist specializes in working with people with chronic pain trained in Somatic

Experiencing & Somatic Psychology. I was in a depression so deep, I couldn't read a

short fiction book for fun, never mind read about Somatic Experiencing and

understand what I was reading.

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After all of these years of reading about people with chronic pain, watching my friend

cope with the pain of cancer, and not being able to wrap my head around how one

can be in agony and still find inner peace, I think I am beginning to get it. It is

possible. Just knowing we have another option as chronic pain sufferers is freeing!

So often we feel trapped, stuck in a corner, misunderstood.

I am not saying this is THE answer to all of our issues but it may very well be a

valuable piece to the intricate enigma that accompanies our daily lives. Obviously,

we need to continue to trudge on as advocates for ourselves with the medical world,

and strive for optimum self-care. Clearly, neither of these ideas is new to any of us.

The next time your body is screaming in agony and you feel like you are drowning in

a sea of fatigue, just as you feel yourself falling prey to the shadows of anxiety or

depression remember this. Even if it is for a short period of time, you are worthy of

happiness and a break from the darkness.

Then maybe, just maybe, you can take ten minutes to sit and close your eyes and

listen to what is going on in your body. No judgments. Just listen. Observe and

acknowledge it. Look for any open space inside. Envision light anywhere in your

body, even if it is in the tiniest area. Imagine yourself at a time in your life when you

felt giddy or in a place that made you feel safe and focus on that memory. With a

little bit of time, that miniscule area of light in your body will expand. Keep a journal, if

writing helps you. Watch how your body stays the same and how it changes. Most of

all, remember; everyone deserves joy and peace. They are attainable even in the

midst of pain.

You may surprise yourself. After all, you have

made it this far. You clearly are a warrior.

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