*Now with your eyes closed breathe in slowly. *What’s best in through the nose or in through the mouth?*Breathe through your arse if you like. Just breathe*Music initial tune*Now I want you to think of someone whose confidence you wish to emulate. ……Who have you thought of?*Fidel Castro*Ghandi*Nice one. Eric?*Eric Cantona. (Cheers from football crowd) Best footballer ever lived.*Cheers commentators voice: Eric Cantona the most talented footballer in Britain*What a genius eh……………VIP celebrity pals; you got it all mate. Look at me wandering round like a scabby old dog.*Music*My wife refuses to talk to me: *Ex Wife: you walked out on me*Me kids won’t give me the time of day: *Ryan can I have a word please?*Ryan: going to the match*It’s all just slipping through my fingers. I just can’t…

*Cantona: Yes you can*What the F….Is that really you?*Cantona: Yes*Say something in French then*Cantona: Je suis Eric Cantona*Gasp*Upbeat music kicks in*Cantona: Play safe, no risk. Take a risk*(Friend shouts to Eric) What you doing?*What’s it look like I’m doing, my new regime*Music becomes more prominent *I can’t talk to her Eric*Cantona: There is no such word as can’t*(Eric on the phone) I just wondered if you’d like to come round for a bite to eat…(conversation in background)…yes!*Cantona: I like this woman*Change of music*We’re going the cops *Ryan: Right now?... we can’t!... They said we’d get us*Dog bark

*I don’t know what to do Eric*Cantona: You have to trust your team mates, always *Friend: Here we go, operation Cantona *cheers**Post, special delivery*Upbeat music kicks in*Ex-wife: Sometimes you just have to risk it*That was a good night, that was the best night!*Sometimes we forget that your just a man*Cantona: I’m not a man, I am Cantona*Laughs between Eric and Cantona*