LOST IN A

MASQUERADE

DOUG BRENDEL

DAVID G. BROWN

THE COMPASS FELLOWSHIPPhoenix, Arizona, U.S.A.

www.compassfellowship.org

LOST IN A MASQUERADE

All Rights Reserved © 2005 by The Compass Fellowship, Inc.

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in anyform or by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical,including photocopying, recording, taping, or by any informationstorage retrieval system, without the written permission of thepublisher.

The Compass Fellowship, Inc. www.compassfellowship.org

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are takenfrom the Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®.Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society.Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

Cover design: Tony Clayton

Printed in the United States of America

LOST IN A

MASQUERADE

CONTENTS

Foreword .......................................................................................5

1 Cool in the Pool ....................................................................7

2 Perfection Is Possible ........................................................19

3 Doubt? Sure Enough .........................................................31

4 The Marriage Mistake ......................................................45

5 So the President Called Me the Other Day... .................59

6 Power Down, Power Up ....................................................69

FOREWORD

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all yoursoul and with all your mind.” This is the first and greatestcommandment. And the second is like it: “Love your neighbor asyourself.” —Matthew 22:37-39

This is a book of messages, presented here almost exactlyas they were delivered at The Compass Fellowship in the autumnof 2005 in Phoenix, Arizona.

These messages were written and presented by teachingpastor Doug Brendel with enormous input and editing by leadpastor David G. Brown.

Committed to offering “midweek life directions,” TheCompass meets informally in a house on Wednesday andThursday evenings. Together, we eat, laugh, cry, worship, learn,struggle through junk, celebrate. Sometimes we cook out;sometimes we swim in the pool.

We’re about two things: loving God, and loving people(Matthew 22:37-39). Sometimes, in a nod to Dr. Seuss, we referto them as “Thing 1” and “Thing 2.”

You are invited to investigate The Compass viawww.compassfellowship.org. We’d love to get to know you!

1LOST IN A MASQUERADE

COOL IN THE POOL

October 12 & 13, 2005

What if everybody in the state of Arizona wanted to goswimming at the same time? This is the hottest state in theUnion, and it’s so hot for so many months every year that manyhomes and apartment complexes have swimming pools. But arethere enough for absolutely everybody to go swimming at once?

The answer is yes. You would only have to put an averageof 8 people in every pool in the state — and there would benobody left on dry land to grill the burgers and dogs. That’s a lotof swimming pools. But it makes sense here in Phoenix, thecapital city of Arizona, when the daily high temperature duringJune, July, and August averages more than 103 Fahrenheit. Iremember the day Phoenix broke all heat records — it officiallygot up to 122 degrees.

It’s so hot here in Phoenix that our pools by the middle ofthe summer get to be like bathwater. We figure out strategies forkeeping the water temperature cool enough instead of, like mostplaces, keeping the water warm enough. One day this pastAugust I was in our pool with Lydia Charlotte, our 3-year-old.At the edge of the pool, we had plastic cups of ice water to drink.She accidentally spilled a little of that ice water on her leg — sheshrieked, and she jumped into the pool to warm up.

It’s a sign of how well off we are, in this culture, that wecan set up our homes in the middle of the desert and then digswimming pools in our backyards for comfort. There are plentyof deserts in the world but none of them have as many swimmingpools per capita as we do here in Arizona. We can countourselves very, very fortunate. In fact, having a swimming poolin your backyard greatly increases the value of your property, soas a real estate investment, it’s a good thing.

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On the other hand, as a pool owner I can tell you, a poolcan be a hassle. It takes time and attention. It costs money. Youhave to clean it. It requires maintenance. It requires chemicals.State health officials estimate that 10,000 Arizona swimmingpools are capable of breeding mosquitoes. You also haveenormous safety issues. Depending on the ages of the childrenwho have access to your pool, you may have to fence it or coverit according to state regulations.

And yet, very few people give up totally and bring in theBobcat and the dirt and fill in their swimming pools. You oftenhear about people buying homes and putting in swimming pools,but you rarely hear about people eliminating swimming pools.Because at some point, if you have a pool, you’re probably goingto enjoy it. Either you’ll get in, or some member of your familyor a visiting friend will get in, and make good use of that body ofwater out there. If you’re hot, that swimming pool can cool youdown. If you’re cold, as Lydia Charlotte proved, that swimmingpool can warm you up. A swimming pool moderates yourtemperature — if you get in. Brings you more into your naturalcomfort zone. If you get in.

Or when you’re stressed out, it gives you a way to relax.It’s not the only way to relax, but if you decide to go out therefor some relaxation, it can work pretty well. Or it gives you apleasant means of exercise. It’s not the only way to get exercise,but if you decide to go out there for some exercise, a swimmingpool can work pretty well.

Sometimes, you just sit on the edge, maybe dangle yourfeet in the water. Sometimes you jump in, you splash, you play.Sometimes you go weeks or months without paying anyattention to the darn pool, except to scoop out the leaves anddead ground squirrels — or pay the maintenance guy’s bill.

Let’s say I tell you that the swimming pool in my backyardmakes me happy all the time. That elation you feel when you justjump in and you’re having a blast in the water — I have that kindof total exhilaration absolutely every time I go out there in mypool. You would sense that I’m pulling your leg, wouldn’t you?If I tell you there are no negatives, none whatsoever, to owningthat pool. I love the time I spend on cleanup — well, that wouldbe bogus, because I refuse to clean my pool — let me try it thisway: I love paying the pool maintenance bill every month —well, that’s bogus too, because Kristina handles our finances. But

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you see what I’m saying. I’m telling you I love the burdens ofpool ownership. They thrill me. You don’t buy that. Not for aminute.

Or let me tell you that no matter what trouble comes myway, jumping in that pool makes it all go bye-bye. Totally fixesmy attitude. Makes my problems melt away. It’s obviously afalsehood.

But hey — I’ve known Christians who make the same kindof claim about their relationship with Christ. “I’m a Christian;I’m a Christ-follower — so I’m happy. Christians are happierthan non-Christians. If you have a relationship with Jesus, you’rehappy. Happy all the time. All it takes to be happy is to haveJesus.”

Now I’ve been following Christ, more or less, my wholelife — and I would have to confess, my experience hasn’t beenanything like this. I’m a Christian, and a lot of the time, I’munhappy. I have a relationship with Jesus, and a lot of the time,I’m unhappy. And the truth is, when I look around at otherChristians, I don’t observe that Christians are happier than non-Christians. I have non-Christian friends who seem pretty happymost of the time. What I observe is that happiness comes andgoes with Christians and non-Christians alike.

My faith — my trust in God, my relationship with God —is like a swimming pool. I am not always splashing around andplaying and having a fabulous time and feeling that wonderfulsense of elation. Sometimes I am just sitting on the edge of myfaith, with my feet in the water, kind of casually. Sometimes Iignore my relationship with God for a time. Sometimes to thepoint of breeding mosquitoes.

But it would be just as bogus to say that my faith is acontinuous burden to me — as if having a swimming pool is aceaseless burden on my finances, as I pay for upkeep; or aceaseless burden on my body, as I do the maintenance work; or aceaseless burden on my mind, as I worry about safety issues; or aceaseless burden on my emotions, because of any or all of these.My faith is indeed sometimes a burden to me. Sometimes itrequires something of me. Sometimes I have to pay. There aresacrifices to be made. Sometimes it’s on my mind. Sometimes Iworry about it. Sometimes I wish I didn’t even know God,because it seems like life would be simpler.

What is the bottom-line cool thing about having a

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swimming pool in your backyard? It’s that it’s there. It’savailable. When you feel like it, you can go there. If you don’tfeel like it, you don’t have to. If you have someone over, you caninvite them to go there. If they don’t want to, they don’t have to.

And what is the bottom-line cool thing about having arelationship with Christ? It’s that he’s there. He’s available.When I feel like it, I can interact with him. If I don’t feel like it, Idon’t have to. He doesn’t make me. If I’m involved insomeone’s life, I can invite them to try out a relationship withJesus too. If they don’t want to, they don’t have to. Jesus doesn’tforce them to.

Sure, sometimes, in my walk with God, I plunge in. I’mloving it. I feel that elation. Sometimes it’s in worship, or inprayer. I get a little momentary glimpse of how fabulous God is,and my heart kind of soars for a little bit. Sometimes my nose isin the Scriptures, or some book that looks into the Scriptures,and I suddenly get some new perspective, some cool newglimpse of some aspect of God’s truth about life, and it’s just arush. Sometimes it’s even in a meeting, where we’re planningsome facet of our ministry, and it just kind of electrifies me — Ican’t wait! Whatever the case — I’m splashing around in God’sswimming pool, and it’s awesome.

More often, though, I would have to say, I am just hangingout by the pool. Hanging out with God. I’m there, he’s there, myfeet are in the water, but I’m not screaming and laughing anddunking somebody to get the ball for my team. I’m casual. Myfocus isn’t really on the swimming pool. The swimming pooljust happens to be my location at the moment. My focus isn’treally on my relationship with God. My faith just happens to bewhere I live.

I admit, people who are always “gaga for God,” alwayscheerleading and being all thrilled with Jesus and so forth, makeme feel a little weird. I find myself wondering, Don’t they everrelax? Are they ever not excited? Because frankly, even though Ithink of myself as an emotional, enthusiastic kind of person, Icouldn’t keep up that kind of energy all the time. I wonder ifpeople who are always acting happy are really wearing a kind ofmask. Maybe they feel obligated to act happy because someonehas told them that Christians are always happy because they haveJesus in their lives.

I grew up in a church where we sang a song that made this

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link between being a Christian and being happy. It talks aboutthe cross where Jesus was crucified for our sake — and it says:

At the cross, at the crossWhere I first saw the lightAnd the burden of my heart rolled awayIt was there by faithI received my sightAnd now I am happy all the day

And besides having a number of mixed metaphors —you’ve got the blindness-and-light thing in there, you’ve got theburden rolling away — on top of all that, the song is not true!I’m not happy all the day! Let’s just set fire to this song righthere and now, whaddaya say?

You know, I might feel guilty about this whole thingexcept that I’m not the only one who has had negative stuffhappening in their life and been unhappy about it. Like Paul theapostle, for example (2 Corinthians 11:23-28) — in and out ofprison, floggings and lashings and beatings, he was stoned, hewas shipwrecked, and he was lied about.

Jesus himself talked about trouble coming into people’slives not in spite of, but because of living in God’s design. Somepeople, he said in Mark 4:17, last only a short time. Whentrouble or persecution comes because of the word, theyquickly fall away. Our friend Bob Williams accepted Christ afew years ago, and he’ll tell you, that first year was terrible. Hehad it pretty good before. Now, all of a sudden, his businessdried up; he was going broke! It was like now Satan had decidedto make Bob a target.

Jesus himself had all kinds of problems in life. In Isaiah53:3,4 there’s kind of a catalogue of his trials: He was despisedand rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar withsuffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces, he wasdespised.... It says he was unesteemed. He had infirmities. Hecarried sorrows. It says people considered him stricken byGod, smitten by him, and afflicted.

Jesus actually admitted, in Luke 9:22-24, that he wasgoing to suffer, he was going to be rejected, and he was going tobe killed. And then he had the audacity to say, Come on. Let’sdo it together. Follow in my footsteps. And, he added, this isgoing to require self-denial, it’s going to require carrying a cross.For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, he said in verse

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24, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.Now after all of this, how do I figure that I can use Jesus as

kind of a “genie in a lamp” who makes all my trouble go away?When I experience harm, I’m experiencing something that Goddidn’t protect me from. Sure, I give him credit — maybe hespared me from something even worse. But in the meantime, I’mdealing with all the stuff of life: pain, disease, relationshipmeltdown, layoffs, car wrecks, and natural disasters. Jesus saidthat God causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good ... therighteous and the unrighteous. It’s gonna get hot in the desert,whether I’m with God or without him.

We urgently want a genie in a lamp. We urgently want tobe able to rub the lamp and be granted our wishes. We urgentlywant those preachers to be right when they preach the“prosperity Gospel” — Give $10 and God will give you $1,000back. If you’re walking with God, God is going to give youmaterial blessings. Etc., etc.

I think we as Americans want all of this worse thananybody else. Do you realize this is the only country where theprosperity Gospel can be preached and people will buy it? Itdoesn’t work in other cultures! I couldn’t preach that kind ofprosperity message in Belarus — people are experiencing adifferent reality there. We couldn’t sell the prosperity Gospel inMexico, or India. If the prosperity Gospel were true, MotherTeresa could have turned lepers into millionaires all overCalcutta.

But here in the U.S., you might say our economy is its ownprosperity Gospel. We have so much money, relative to the restof the world — it is so easy to make money, relative to the restof the world — that a preacher can promise prosperity and it willhappen for a lot of people! Just by luck! Most people in thiscountry do prosper, to some degree.

Now, this is a blessing from God, no question about it. AsJames 1:17 says, Every good and perfect gift is from above,coming down from the Father.... But the side-effect of thisblessing is that we become accustomed to comfort, addicted toblessing. We come to assume that good stuff will come our way;we come to think as if it’s sort of our birthright to be comfortableand happy. So we attach this expectation to God. And when wedo, we’re disappointed.

What does God really promise me, if I give him my life?

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Does he promise me happiness? Does he promise me a life ofease? He does not.

What do I get out of it, then? When my life gets hot —when the temperature’s rising, and I’m in trouble, I’m in pain,I’m in panic mode, I’m confused, I’m being bombarded — whenthe heat is on — what does God give me? He gives me aswimming pool. He gives me a place to turn, a place to go, aplace where I can moderate my spiritual body temperature. Aplace where I can get what I need.

My relationship with God is like a swimming pool. Itdoesn’t automatically make me happy. It doesn’t automaticallysolve my problems. It’s not maintenance-free. It’s just alwaysthere. Whether I go in there is up to me. How I go in there is upto me. How quick I go, how deep I go — it’s my call.

Sometimes I need some relaxation. I can go to God forthat. I need to rest, I need to settle down on something that I’mfretting about. I can get into God’s pool and chill out. I can talkwith God about my worries, I can meditate in the Scriptures, Ican talk with somebody else in God’s pool. I’m easing myselfback into a place of trusting God.

Sometimes I need some spiritual exercise. I can go to Godfor that. I need to strengthen my spiritual muscles — I need toget stronger in some area where I’ve discovered I’m kind ofweak. I can get in God’s pool and work out. I can grapple withmy issue — in prayer, in study of the Scriptures, in counselingwith a minister or a Christian friend. I’m focusing on mysituation, and God is there to help me change my situation —without overheating.

A swimming pool doesn’t automatically make me happy. Itdepends on how I use the swimming pool. A relationship withChrist doesn’t automatically make me happy. It depends on whatI decide to do or not do in my relationship with Christ.

I do not have to pretend to be happy when I’m sad, anymore than I have to pretend to be pleasantly cool when I’mdreadfully hot. I can admit, “Man, I’m hot,” and I can get in thepool. I can admit, “Man, I’m unhappy” — and I can decide toseek some kind of change in God’s pool.

Maybe I don’t feel like plunging in. Don’t feel likeworshiping. Don’t feel like clapping my hands and being allexuberant about my faith. OK. Don’t.

Or maybe I don’t feel like really working out. I know God

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says my troubles will grow my character, mature me, whatever(James 1:2-5) — but I’m not interested in that stuff right now,because I’m hurting. I’m helpless. I’m hot. OK, there’s no rulethat says I have to get in and swim laps this very instant.

Maybe I just feel like hanging out at the edge for a while,talking with God about it. OK. Fine. Maybe after a while, I’llfeel differently. OK. Fine.

No matter what, God is already there for me. I don’t haveto wait for him to build the pool. It’s built. Jesus said in John16:33, “...In the world you have tribulation, but takecourage; I have overcome the world.” It’s past tense. He hasbuilt the pool. He has provided the place of consolation andrelief. I may still feel the heat; I may still be dealing with thegrief and confusion and fear and all the other effects of myparticular tribulation of the moment. But change is possible —because Jesus has already filled the pool.

And eventually, my feelings can change. My circumstancescan change. My feelings about my circumstances can change. Ican be surprised by how bad things get, and I can also besurprised by how much things improve — and maybe in ways Idon’t expect. But I may also be surprised by how God, in hiswisdom and love, changes my perspective. Changes my feelings.

The prophet Isaiah took a supernatural look into the future.In his vision, he sees people who have been through hell. Peoplewho have lost everything. But he also sees them heading home— and they’re singing. And he makes this prophetic prediction:

Isaiah 51:11 ...Everlasting joy will crown their heads.Gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighingwill flee away.

And then, at that very moment, God himself speaks — andhere’s what he says: 12 I, even I, am he who comforts you....

Even though it gets hot, there is comfort. The coolest thingis knowing that it can never get too hot for me, because atwhatever point I have to have some relief, there’s a pool outback. I love the steady confidence that a relationship with Godgives. I love the firm foundation of my faith, my friendship withhim. Knowing the pool is out there.

* * *I often hear my friend Warner Lewis say, “It’s all good.”

For a long time, that didn’t strike me as right. Life isn’t all good.There’s good and there’s bad. Finally I asked him about it:

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“Warner, why do you say ‘It’s all good’?” Here’s what he toldme: “I have gotten into the habit of saying ‘It’s all good’ becauseI know, deep down in my heart, that in spite of the challengesthat inevitably arise, it will all work out according to God’s planin the end. When I say ‘It’s all good,’ it’s the simplest, purestexpression of faith I can muster.... All God wants from me issome periodic, real-time recognition that I cede all the big stuffto him, and trust him for any outcome he wants to achieve. In myexperience, it’s much more fun and exciting and better thatway.”

What Warner has discovered is what King Solomon wastalking about in Proverbs 19:23: The fear of the Lord leads tolife: Then one rests content, untouched by trouble. “Fear ofthe Lord” is the old-fashioned way of saying what Warner said:giving God some periodic, real-time recognition that I cede mylife to him. Another way to talk about it is to use the termrighteousness — accepting and living by God’s design. This,Solomon said, leads to life — and this in turn, he said, leads torest, to a life of contentment, untouched by trouble. He doesn’tsay trouble won’t come. He says it won’t touch you. It won’tchafe you. It won’t get under your skin. He isn’t saying thedesert won’t get hot. He’s saying get in God’s pool, and thedesert won’t burn you.

* * *One more detail about God’s swimming pool. I think the

guys will be especially glad to know that there are 2 girls inGod’s pool: Kara and Irene. Kara is the ancient Greek word forjoy. Ireenee, from which we get the name Irene, is the word forpeace. Kara and ireenee — joy and peace — are found in God’spool.

Now when it gets too hot, I am not obligated to get into thepool. When troubles come, I am not required to turn to God. ButGod’s pool is where the joy is. God’s pool is where the peace is.

Kara is not the cheap kind of happiness that goes awayafter the first big splash. Kara is deep-down joy. This is the wordJesus used to describe what we’re going to feel in heaven,spending eternity in a state of perfection.

And ireenee is not the tentative kind of peace thatevaporates in a minute or an hour. Ireenee is complete peace. It’sa through-and-through kind of peace.

Joy and peace are what God offers even in the heat, even in

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the midst of trials. I don’t have to get in the pool, but if I wantjoy and peace, that’s where I’ll find them.

Romans 14:17 says For the kingdom of God is not amatter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peaceand joy in the Holy Spirit. What does this mean? The kingdomof God — putting God in charge of my life — is not a matter ofeating and drinking — in other words, it’s not about thecircumstances of the moment. It’s not about what I have to eattoday or what mood-altering strategies I can employ. Instead, it’sabout 3 things: First, righteousness — living by God’s design.Living God’s way because I trust him to be telling the truth. Andthen, there they are: peace and joy — Kara and Irene — in theHoly Spirit. In God’s swimming pool.

* * *Of course, sometimes, when life is going badly, all we can

do is hope that we’ll be able to hang on. Hope that God will helpus the way he has promised to help us. Hope that he’s reallydoing something good even though we can’t see it at themoment. Hope that things will change, or that we will change,enough to survive it.

Fortunately, hope is what God’s swimming pool is filledwith. When my life heats up, just knowing I have a relationshipwith God, and that he’s committed to me — knowing theswimming pool is out there — gives me hope. That’s howRomans 15:13 can serve as our benediction this evening — notjust a flowery phrase, but a practical reality. May the God ofhope fill you with all kara and ireenee — all joy and peace —as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope bythe power of the Holy Spirit. Out there in God’s swimmingpool. Amen.

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Notes:

2LOST IN A MASQUERADE

PERFECTION IS POSSIBLE

October 19 & 20, 2005

Years ago I was trying to be an advertising writer, and Iwas thrilled when I got this T-shirt account. The idea was to sella line of T-shirts by way of magazine ads. The problem was, atthat time in our nation’s cultural history — I don’t know if this isstill true or not, but at that time it was very much the case —American consumers would not buy athletic or sports gear thatwas manufactured outside of the USA. And especially not fromChina. I guess federal law requires clothing to have a tag sewninside that says where the clothing was made, and if a T-shirtsaid “Made in China,” the American consumer wouldn’t buy it.At least that’s how it was back then.

Well, I decided, if you can’t fix it, feature it. I made up afull-page magazine ad that showed an ancient-looking Chineseman working with some ancient-looking fabric on an ancient-looking loom, and the headline, in an old Chinese-looking font,said “PERFECTION IS POSSIBLE.” Then the ad copy went onto tell how this company’s T-shirts were wondrously crafted byskilled artisans working there in a land where for thousands ofyears — well, you get the idea. Perfection is possible!

The only problem was, we got samples of these T-shirtsfrom the client, and one of our staff took them home to herhusband that evening — he was a real athletic kind of guy —and she came back in the next morning and said, “These are theworst T-shirts ever known to man!” They were uncomfortable,kind of a rough weave, they didn’t “breathe” well — herhusband couldn’t get out of his T-shirt fast enough.

Perfection may be possible — it just hardly ever happens!Hackers will tell you, there is no perfect software protection.Actors will tell you, there is no perfect role. Composers will tell

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you, there is no perfect formula for a hit song. Political partieswill tell you, there’s no perfect candidate. Travelers will tell you,there’s no perfect island. There’s no perfect relationship, noperfect parent, no perfect child-rearing method. There is noperfect season unless you count the 1972 Miami Dolphins.Jewelers will tell you, there is such a thing as a perfect diamond— but generally only after you’ve cut out that one tiny flaw.

And yet, in his Sermon on the Mount, in Matthew 5:48,Jesus says to us, Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenlyFather is perfect.

This isn’t possible. At least not with me. Don’t ask me tolist my imperfections — it would be like that old Peanuts cartoonwhere Charlie Brown finally challenges Lucy, after years of herputting him down, to tell him exactly what his shortcomings are.So she says, “OK, get a sheet of lined paper. Now make 10columns. Then turn the paper over and make another 10columns. Maybe we’re going to need some more paper.”

I’m not perfect, and I don’t seem to have any hope ofbecoming perfect. I make mistakes — and some mistakes are toomuch fun to make just once. So when Jesus says Be perfect, myquestion is, Is there any way I can weasel out?

Maybe there’s an error in the translation from the originalGreek? Well, unfortunately, the Greek word is teleios, whichmeans — perfect. We find the ancient Hebrew variety of theword in the Old Testament: tamim — it’s translated perfect.When it’s not translated perfect, it’s translated blameless. Thereis not a lot of wiggle room there for me.

And actually, when Jesus gave this outrageous directive, hewas paraphrasing a line from the Old Testament, where God saysto Moses in Leviticus 19:2, “Speak to the entire assembly ofIsrael and say to them: ‘Be holy because I, the Lord yourGod, am holy.’” So I’m feeling like, wow, the pressure is reallyon here. Jesus expects me to be perfect. Blameless. Holy. I’msupposed to be like God. It’s impossible!

Years ago I served on the worship team at a church. (Therewas a certain level of desperation in that church, I think, if theyneeded me to be a singer, but anyway...) The worship leaderwould gather us for prayer before the service began. As part ofthat prayer, he would often say something along the lines of“Lord, cleanse us of every sin, so that when we walk out ontothat stage, we’ll be sinless, perfect, and there won’t be anything

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in us that would hinder people from seeing Jesus in us.” Iremember thinking, as I walked out there with the others, Wow,I’m sinless. I’m perfect. But now — uh-oh — I’ve gotta stay pureat least for the next 20 minutes! No thinking bad thoughts. Noletting my mind wander. Don’t look at that girl’s legs! Turnaway! Turn away! I may have looked sinless; I may have gottenaway with it with the church folk and even the other singers; butI always felt like the biggest hypocrite in the world — becausemy heart couldn’t even stay sinless long enough to sing a fewChristian songs and get offstage!

And if I could have somehow stayed pure, I would havebeen so pumped about my accomplishment that I would havecommitted the sin of pride. You know, pride is the subtlest of allthe sins. You do it without even realizing you’re doing it. DaveBarry says, “The one thing that unites all human beings,regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnicbackground, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we areabove average drivers.” Pride is unilateral. Sin is universal.Romans 3:23 nails it: “...All have sinned and fall short....” 2Chronicles 6:36 says “there is no one who does not sin....”And it’s not just talking about the pagans. Ecclesiastes 7:20 says“There is not a righteous man on earth who does what isright and never sins.” Even if I could have walked out on thestage at church after that backstage prayer, freshly scrubbed fromall my sins, I could not legitimately claim to be without sin. 1John 1:8 says, “If we claim to be without sin, we deceiveourselves and the truth is not in us.”

In fact, consider this discouraging detail: we are only awareof a small fraction of the ways in which we fall short of God’sideal. James 4:17 says, “Anyone, then, who knows the goodhe ought to do and doesn't do it, sins.” Well, in any hour ofany day, I can name a bunch of good stuff I ought to do that I’mnot doing. “I don’t have the time, the energy, the money — or,frankly, the interest — to go around doing all the good that needsto be done. I’ve got some stuff of my own that I want to do. Isn’tthat reasonable?” Well, yeah. But according to the definition —I’m busted. I’m not perfect. It’s another way I’m falling short ofGod’s idea — all the time.

And it’s been this way my whole life. Donald Miller talksin his book Blue Like Jazz about why we have to teach children.My daughter Natalie came to us at the age of 3 months. I never

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had to teach her to be selfish; she came that way. My sonKristofer came along 11 months later; he was 3 months old whenhe arrived too. We have a photograph of Natalie peaking overthe edge of the couch, looking at this pink, wrinkly little creaturein Mommy’s arms, and you can see the look in her eye: she’sthinking What is he doing in my spot? That was an interestingtime in our lives: a 3-month-old and a 14-month-old — it waslike the Selfishness Olympics at our house.

(We only had the baby 4 years ago to teach those two alesson. They were 9 and 10 years old when we learned thatKristina was pregnant and we were going to have a new baby inthe house. Natalie and Kristofer looked at each other, and I’mtelling you, it was the same face as in the photograph. There’sgonna be someone new, vying for attention around here?)

You don’t have to teach a child to be selfish. You have toteach a child to share. The child does not arrive perfect. Thechild arrives imperfect. We like to think of a baby as innocent.Wrong. Babies arrive guilty. This is what the psalmist David wastalking about in Psalm 51:5 when he said, “Surely I was sinfulat birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me.”

You may be saying to yourself, Well, a baby doesn’t knowwhat it’s doing; that little one can’t be held accountable. OK,let’s see if it changes anything to fast-forward a few years, to atime when the child can understand the difference between rightand wrong. The experiment that Donald Miller poses in his bookis the hypothetical case of two children born at the same time,one of whom is taught the difference between right and wrong,and the other who isn’t. Which kid turns out better? It’s a goodguess that the kid who was never taught anything is going tohave some problems, and cause some problems. The kid whowas taught right from wrong won’t be perfect — but that kid willbe more able to cope in the world, and people will be better ableto cope with that young person. We start out broken, and wespend a lifetime trying to get fixed.

* * *The writer Mike Ford says in Forerunner magazine that

most of us misunderstand what God means by being “perfect.”We think of being perfect as the opposite of being sinful, buthistory proves that this can’t be right. He points out that Jesus,walking around on earth 2,000 years ago, was both sinless andperfect; but other people — regular, ordinary human beings, who

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were clearly not sinless — were sometimes called perfect, andby God himself! Abraham, for example — in Genesis 17:1 Godtells him to “be blameless”: there’s the old Hebrew word tamimagain, often translated as perfect. If Abraham can do it, Godsays, he’ll make a nation out of his family, he’ll give them thePromised Land, etc., etc. By the end of his life, it’s obvious thatGod is fulfilling the promise. Abraham had succeeded incarrying his end of the bargain. But this is bizarre, because — aswe’ve seen in our earlier studies — Abraham could be corrupt.He could be a conniver. In some cases he didn’t even learn fromhis mistakes. So he wouldn’t be what we would define as“blameless”; this isn’t a perfect record.

Abraham’s nephew Lot, who was a loser in a bunch ofdifferent ways that we’ve explored in previous studies, is calleda “righteous man” in 2 Peter 2:7,8. Look at Job. In Job 1:8,God himself says Job “is blameless and upright, a man whofears God and shuns evil.” In Luke 1:6, the priest Zechariahand his wife Elizabeth, the parents of John the Baptist, aredescribed as “righteous before God, walking in thecommandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.”

Look at Noah. He’s described in Genesis 6:9 as “arighteous man, blameless among the people of his time, andhe walked with God.” God tells Noah personally in Genesis7:1, “I have found you [to be] righteous.” Then Noah gets offthe ark and the next thing you know, he’s dead drunk and half-naked in his tent (Genesis 9:21). This is a blameless man? Amodel of perfection?

Zip ahead on history’s timeline to the days after KingSolomon. Solomon’s sons can’t work out their differences; thekingdom of Israel splits in two. It’s a mess. There’s fighting,there’s bloodshed. New kings come and go, and they’re basicallya mishmash of ungodly morons. Finally, along comes Asa. He’sthe great-grandson of King Solomon. He ascends to the thronewhile he’s still a very young man, possibly still a child. He lovesGod. He hates what he’s seen, how his father and his otherforebears have thumbed their nose at God and made a mess ofthe nation. 1 Kings 15:11 says, “Asa did what was right in theeyes of the Lord....” He tears down the pagan idols. He consultsGod before each decision — in fact, when somebody thanks youfor doing something and you say “It was nothing,” you’requoting one of Asa’s prayers: in 2 Chronicles 14:11 (NKJV),

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where he said, “Lord, it is nothing for You to help, whetherwith many or with those who have no power; help us, O Lordour God, for we rest on You....” Asa calls the people back toGod. He even fires his grandmother as queen because she was sowretchedly evil. 2 Chronicles 15:17 says that “Asa’s heart wasfully committed to the Lord all his life.” The King Jamestranslates fully committed as perfect. The New AmericanStandard version translates it blameless.

And yet — we come to the final 5 years or so of Asa’s life,and he’s had so much success — so many victories, such astellar career — that he starts to trust his own judgment. Doesn’tnecessarily knock on God’s door every time he has to make adecision. Or maybe he gets a little nervous. Wants to preservehis holdings. In any case, he contradicts what God has plannedout for him. Then when God’s guy comes to the palace and callshim on it, Asa goes ballistic and throws the guy in jail. Startstreating some of his subjects cruelly. Finds himself in declininghealth. History tells us he was “afflicted with a disease in hisfeet” (2 Chronicles 16:12) — not even a very severe disease.But by this time Asa was feeling so self-sufficient, or maybe hewas feeling frustrated with God, or maybe he was just tooashamed to look God in the eye again by this point — but in anycase, the record shows, he never asked God for help. He sufferedfor 2 years, and finally he died, with his feet still killing him.

* * *Asa had a problem with his feet, and so do we. We have

feet of clay. We are human. We are imperfect. There is no suchthing as a perfect person, in the way we’ve come to think ofperfection, and there isn’t going to be. Being godly can’t be thesame as being perfect, because we have plenty of examples ofpeople God considered perfect, but who turned out like Asa —having feet of clay.

Here’s what has happened to us: our idea of being perfectis imperfect. We have come to think of godliness as avoidingsinning. Avoiding doing anything on a “list of sins.” Obeyingcertain rules. At least getting through the day not disobeying therules.

We’ve let flawed human beings put this mask on us —where we have to pretend to be perfect. We’ve let organizedreligion put this mask on us. Or we’ve let family and friends putthis mask on us. Every time somebody says “Look at that guy, he

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calls himself a Christian, and look at the bad thing he did” — thesubtext of the message is “Christians are supposed to be perfect.”And we buy into it.

But it’s false.Jesus’ challenge to us is to be perfect as our heavenly

Father is perfect. God has never had to avoid sinning. He hasnever wrung his hands over breaking some rule. He is above allthat.

What does he spend his day doing?Loving the unlovely. People like me.Giving grace to people who don’t deserve it. People like

me.Providing for people who don’t even notice him doing it.

People like me.Protecting people who don’t even realize the danger

they’ve escaped. People like me.Blessing people far more than they can even calculate with

their meager human brains. People like me.Bestowing kindness on people even while they’re being

unkind. That would be people like me.Expressing the warmth of his affection to people even

while they’re being cold. That would be people like me.Meeting people’s needs with his abundant resources even

when they’re being selfish with their own resources. That wouldbe people like me.

You know that Jesus said the whole point was 2 Things:loving God, and loving people. And he went on to say that theway to love God is to love people.

So if I’m going to be godly — I’m going to love in the faceof hatred. Same as God loves. If I’m going to be more like Christ— I’m going to notice the unnoticed. Same as God does. If I’mgoing to get closer to fulfilling the dream that God dreamedwhen he first dreamed me up — if I’m going to get closer tofulfilling my divinely orchestrated potential — if I’m going toget closer to experiencing the joy and the power and the rewardof living in God’s ideal design for my life — if I’m going to aimfor what Jesus called being “perfect” — it is going to happen bymy meeting the needs of the people around me. Same as Goddoes for me.

It’s not about the rules. Are there rules? Tons of rules. TheTen Commandments and hundreds of others. We imagine them

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as an enormous grid, with thousands of squares, and if you stepon a line, you’re dead. But that’s not how the rules of God’suniverse are organized at all. They lie next to each other, in longrows, and they all point in one direction. They give you lanes towalk in, and they all guide you toward Jesus. Toward thelifestyle he demonstrated here on earth. Toward loving God andloving people. Every so-called rule in the Scriptures wasdesigned ultimately to lead me into godliness. Toward theperfection of my character. Toward the achievement of trueChristlikeness — and all the riches that such a life confers.

When I step on one of those lane-guides, when I break oneof those rules, it hurts me. And it hurts God’s heart because ithurts me. But I’m no less his child. I’m no less loved. Tim Kellerof Redeemer Presbyterian Church in New York City says, “Youare more sinful and flawed than you ever dared believe; you aremore accepted and loved than you ever dared hope.”

My son Kristofer is 14 now. I got mad at him aboutsomething a few weeks ago, and his response was to print out thelyrics of a music group called Shinedown. The song is “BetterVersion,” and part of it says:

I am not perfect and I don’t claim to beAnd if that’s what you wantedWell then I’m so sorry

I told him I didn’t want him to be perfect. I don’t expectthat. What I want is for him to get over the selfishness hump.Learn to love God and love people. Nail down those two lifestyleelements, and everything else falls into place.

Yes, Jesus calls us to be perfect, as perfectly like God asthese flawed minds and bodies can be. But as Robert Smith ofPacific Lutheran Theological Seminary at Berkeley says, beingperfect the way Jesus calls us to be perfect “means beingchildren of God, sharing in the divine nature that is marked bystunning and indiscriminate acts of generosity to all.... That kindof perfection, loving as God loves, is the end and goal of life.”

* * *I can see how I’m doing. This isn’t something nebulous,

where I have to wonder how it’s going. I’ll be able to see myselfmoving toward this kind of perfection. Jesus said in Luke 8:15that if I really “get it,” I’ll produce “a crop.” I’ll find I’m kinder,more merciful. More patient. More generous. More comfortablewith people I was uncomfortable with before. I’ll see people

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differently. I’ll see their weakness. And it won’t turn me off theway it used to. I’ll see it as a point of need. Maybe a target formy love, my generosity.

And all of this will feel right — it won’t feel weird. Psalm37:37 says if I’m perfect in God’s way, I’ll experience “peace.”

Plus, I’m not on my own. I don’t have to come up with allof this under my own power. Paul says in 2 Corinthians 13:11,“Aim for perfection ... And the God of love and peace will bewith you.” God will go on this journey with me. He’ll help me.His Spirit will speak to me and guide me and strengthen me.

Our friend Warner Lewis found himself on a plane a fewweeks ago having a big conversation with the guy in the seatnext to him. This guy was part of an enormous religiousorganization, and he insisted that regular everyday people cannotpossibly know the will of God without religious authoritiestelling them what it is. Warner very diplomatically begged todiffer. How could you possibly know for yourself what God’swill is? the guy wanted to know. Here’s what Warner told him:“I get up in the morning and get on the bike. I let God do thesteering — and I just keep pedaling.”

I think that’s what God wants from feet of clay. He wantsus to trust him to steer us — and he wants us to just keeppedaling. Just keep moving in his direction. Just keep doing thework of Christ in the world around us. Loving the unlovely andfeeding the hungry and helping the helpless and giving hope tothe hopeless.

Not that it will always be easy. Striving to love God byloving people may test your faith — you may find your feelingspushing back, or your circumstances pushing back, on the notionof trusting God to be telling the truth about all of this. But hangin there, the apostle James says (James 1:3,4), “because youknow that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.[And] Perseverance must finish its work so that you may bemature and complete, not lacking anything.” The originalword, which we translate as mature? Teleios. Perfect. Hang on.Keep loving God by loving people. Keep looking for ways to bethe hands and feet of Christ in someone else’s life — someonewho’s unlovely, someone who’s annoying, someone who’sneedy. You’ll make it. Perfection is possible.

Philippians 1:9 And this is my prayer: that your love may abound

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more and more in knowledge and depth of insight,10 so that you may be able to discern what is best and

may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ,11 filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes

through Jesus Christ — to the glory and praise of God.Amen.

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Notes:

3LOST IN A MASQUERADE

DOUBT? SURE ENOUGH

October 26 & 27, 2005

Is there really a God?I doubt it.I mean — I don’t always doubt it. But sometimes, it just

suddenly seems so implausible. And then, after a while, I think,Well, yeah, of course there’s a God. What was I thinking?

Was Jesus really God in human form? I doubt it. Notalways. Just sometimes. Sometimes, somehow, it just crosses mymind how impossible that is.

Especially when I wake up in the middle of the night, atlike 2 or 3 a.m., I sometimes find myself thinking about whetherthis whole Gospel thing can possibly be true. The question thatnags at me is usually, Why would God set it up this way? Itseems like such a complicated situation. There’s creation, thenthere’s Noah, then there’s this whole “Abraham father of God’schosen people” thing, then Moses lays down the law, Jesuscomes and supposedly makes the whole thing simpler, Paul andthe apostles comment on it — there’s a part of my brain thatgoes, This is just too irregular. Too bizarre. If God is reallysmart, he would have made this just real cut-and-dried. Realsimple and straightforward.

Does God really exist in three forms — Father, Son, andHoly Spirit? Is the so-called Trinity for real? I doubt it. I mean— I don’t always doubt it. I usually don’t even think about it.But when I think about it, I sometimes hit a snag. There’s thatmoment in history, in Mark 1:10,11 — it’s well documented,historically; there’s no question that the event actually happened— but Jesus is baptized by John the Baptist, and as he comes upout of the water, the Holy Spirit appears in the form of a dove,flying down onto him, and God the Father speaks in an audible

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voice from heaven, and specifically says that Jesus is his Son. Sothere it is: the Trinity, all together in one place at one time. Butit’s just so weird. So beyond my normal realm ofcomprehension.

Did God really create the universe and the plants andanimals and people the way Genesis 1 says he did? I doubt it. Idon’t always doubt it. I waver. I go back and forth. I’m usuallyOK with it just the way it says it there, in the Bible. Butsometimes, I find myself stopping and thinking about it, and Iwonder if we’re misreading it or something. Or if God sort ofleft out some details that would make it all more plausible. After150 years of Darwinism, doesn’t the theory of evolution sort ofbegin to make sense? Some days, yeah.

Are we really going to live forever? Will some of us bewith God in heaven, and others of us will be separated from Godin hell? I doubt it. I believe it — but then, sometimes, to tell youthe truth, I find myself doubting it. There’s a part of me thatwants to believe the people who say things like “God is tooloving to send people to a place of eternal damnation.” Andthere’s a big part of me that just doesn’t get the whole leap thatwe’re supposed to make at the end of this earthly life, into thespiritual realm — so that my body, the only packaging I’ve everlived in, will suddenly be discarded like so much garbage, butthe “real me” will go right on living? The “real me”? That’sweird. I feel like the “real me” right now! And I’m going to likethis? I’m not going to freak out having some different kind ofbody? I’m sorry; it’s beyond me. I cannot get my head aroundthis idea. Sometimes I can — but usually I can’t. And usually,when I can’t, I can trust it “by faith” — but sometimes I can’t. Idoubt it. I’m afraid that I’m going to come to the end of myearthly life and just go poof. Zippity-doo-da. It’s over. Like a lotof people say.

Does God really love me? I doubt it. Some days I feel it,but then other days I don’t. Junk happens — and my auto-response is: God doesn’t love me. And then somehow I turn thenext corner and — Sure, God loves me. I don’t doubt that.

* * *Maybe I’m making a mistake, admitting my doubts like

this. I’m in a pastoral role, and particularly as a teaching pastor, Ifeel like I’m supposed to be sure of everything I teach. In myheart, I know I’m not rock solid, every moment of every day, on

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every detail of what I teach. But I don’t usually bring my doubtsto the table. Usually I kind of wear a mask. The mask ofabsolute, unwavering faith.

I don’t mean to be manipulative; I wear this mask bydefault. I hardly ever think about it. It’s just on my face,naturally. It’s only when I actually stop to think about it — andtake a deep breath, and make the conscious decision — that Ipull the mask off and reveal the truth about my doubts.

And this can be very, very uncomfortable. I don’t prefer tobe known as a doubter, someone whose faith wavers. I want tobe thought of as the paragon of faith, the epitome of assurance.But what this really means is I want you to believe a lie, becauseI’m not a paragon of faith and the epitome of assurance. It’s justmy pride that urges me to let you believe that about me.

If there’s any dubious consolation about the sorry state ofmy faith, it’s that I’m not alone — and I never have been. Doubthas been a hallmark of humanity from the beginning. Think howsimple things were for Adam and Eve — just them and God, theflora and the fauna. And yet even then, they were looking atGod’s setup and scratching their heads and saying, “Really?”Abraham and Sarah looked at what God was pitching them, andtheir response was, more or less, “Really?” Moses listened toGod speaking from a burning bush and he couldn’t believe whathe was hearing.

God himself called the psalmist David “a man after myown heart” (Acts 13:22), and yet David was the same guy whowrote reams of doubt-plagued lyrics in psalm after psalm. Psalm22 contains some of the most pitiful passages in the history ofliterature — it’s the psalm Jesus quoted when he was sufferingand dying on the cross, that’s how extreme the anguish of doubtis in this psalm. My God, my God, why have you forsakenme? is how it starts out. Why are you so far from saving me,so far from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry outby day, but you do not answer, by night... and on and on. Hegoes on to say, basically, “God, my people and I have beenfollowing you for all these years; we trusted you — but now lookat me! He says,

Psalm 22:6 ...I am a worm and not a man, scorned by men and

despised by the people.7 All who see me mock me; they hurl insults, shaking

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their heads:8 “He trusts in the Lord; let the Lord rescue him. Let

him deliver him, since he delights in him.”It’s the Old Testament equivalent of “Neener, neener,

neener!”He talks about how dogs and bad guys are surrounding

him. He’s starving (in verse 17): I can count all my bones, hesays; people stare and gloat over me. David comes back in thesecond half of the song and basically reminds himself that,intellectually, he knows God hasn’t forsaken him — but man ohman, does it ever feel like he has. David, the man supposed“after God’s own heart,” is wracked by doubt about God’s heart!

A crisis of faith can be shattering. Peter was supposedlyone of Jesus’ best friends. When Jesus started talking about howhe was going to be betrayed, how he was going to suffer, Petermade a big show about how committed he was. “Lord, I amready to go with you to prison and to death,” he said in Luke22:33. Jesus said, in essence, “No, you’re not. You’re going tolose faith; you’re going to doubt. But after you straighten up,please, strengthen the rest of my friends.” A few hours later,when Jesus was arrested — right before Peter’s eyes — Peterlost it. He panicked — then he backed off — and pretty soon hefound himself lying about even knowing Jesus. He wound upgoing off by himself, and the Scriptures say he “wept bitterly”(Luke 22:62). He was confronting his own doubt.

I don’t want to get all dogmatic and critical about this, but Iwould almost say that anybody who claims never to have anydoubts about their faith is either not telling the whole truth, orjust not really thinking about it — because doubt appears to meto be universal.

The question is not whether I will doubt, but rather what Iwill do with my doubt.

We have a few options.I can pretend that I don’t doubt. Pretending may work for a

while, maybe even for a long time, with the people around me.But I will still carry around the doubt in my stomach, like a boutof indigestion. This doesn’t strike me as a viable long-termstrategy for dealing with doubt. This strikes me more as a viablelong-term strategy for getting an ulcer.

Then there’s ducking the issue. Hoping no one else noticesmy doubt. Hope the subject doesn’t come up. Tell the truth if it

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does, but basically just maneuver around the touchy topic asmuch as possible. This could go on for some time, but I think itwould be exhausting: always monitoring conversations, dodgingout of anyplace where the subject of faith might come up.

Another possibility is giving up. I could just bail. Changemy mind. Decide that my faith is bogus. Or decide that thiswhole faith thing is ultimately inscrutable — incomprehensible.But this is very likely, I think, to wind up something like thepretending strategy: leaving me with a ball in the pit of mystomach. Because I know from my own experience — a periodin my life some years ago, when I decided just to set my faithaside and live however I pleased — that what happened wasn’twhat I expected. I found that I doubted my doubt. Having takenthe leap of faith years before, having given my life to God, Ifound that what Jesus said was true in my case: “...Those youhave given me,” Jesus said to his Father in John 17:9,10, “theyare yours. All I have is yours, and all you have is mine....” Iwas somehow his. I belonged to him now. On the one hand, Icouldn’t seem to lock down my faith; but on the other hand,when I walked away, I couldn’t seem to lock down my doubt,either.

So I wound up in sort of the same place I started: unable tomake sense of my faith. In fact, over the years, I’ve found myselfin this position an awful lot of the time. Standing at the doorwayof faith, one hand on the door frame, leaning in and lookingaround and trying to figure out what in the world is in there? Or— at other times: standing just inside the door of faith, leaningout — looking around — and asking myself, Should I really bestanding out there instead of in here? Is this faith place a foolishplace to be living, and it’s wiser to be out there? Is this a mirage,kind of a spiritual optical illusion — and the place of reality isactually out there, in the natural realm I can see and touch andhear and taste? Does living “out there” in the physical world atleast make more sense than living here in Faith-Land?

* * *But after decades years of standing in the doorway,

squinting and scratching my head and going “Really?”, I thinkI’ve made out a few certainties in the midst of all myuncertainty. I’ll just share them with you, and maybe they’ll helpyou in your own walk of faith.

1. Not all doubt is the same.

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There are various species of doubt. I find that, for me,doubt comes in different flavors. It tastes different to me, indifferent situations.

Sometimes, doubt tastes heavy, like oatmeal. Doubt tasteslike this in situations where I doubt and I keep on doubting.Somebody treats me badly, consistently, over the course ofseveral years; then you tell me what a warm and generous thingthey did for you — you know, in that moment, I have anopportunity to believe the best of that person. But instead,because of my own long-standing experience with them, I have atendency to doubt. Maybe that’s not the Christlike response, butthat’s what I feel. I feel doubt. The deeply rooted, wellestablished, long-term, unwavering, oatmeal of doubt. Someoneonce said, “Fear is faith that it won’t work out.” That’s theoatmeal kind of doubt.

Then other times, doubt is fleeting. It’s wispy. It’s likecotton candy. You touch it to your tongue, and it’s gone. I prettymuch know something is true, but then for some reason, just fora moment, a whisper of doubt floats under my nose. Or it’s likesomething you see out of the corner of your eye. Like a butterflyyou’re not quite sure you saw. But it’s not pleasant like abutterfly. It’s unsettling.

My wife loves me. She’s loved me for 20 years. She’s trueto me. Isn’t she? ...Of course she is. I have no evidence to thecontrary. To even think of her being untrue is crazy. Case closed.

And the case is indeed closed — until the next time, maybemonths or even years later, for no apparent reason, I taste thatcotton candy taste again: the whisper of a momentary doubt.

I do the same thing with God — even more often. Thereare certain questions I have settled intellectually, settled long ago— no question. And yet I wake up at 2 or 3 in the morning andthat same idea seems so unreal, so questionable. My reason onceaccepted it, but now somehow my mood has changed. The greatC.S. Lewis knew about this phenomenon. He wrote: “Faith is theart of holding on to things your reason has once accepted in spiteof your changing moods.”

And then, in my experience, there’s un paté de doute — apaté of doubt. Have you eaten paté? This is the stuff that youtake a bite of and you go, “What’s in there? Is that duck? Whatpart of the duck? Is that liver? Are those nuts? What kind ofnuts? Is that peppercorn? Some other kind of spice in there?”

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You can never quite tell for sure.In everyday life, this is the kind of doubt where you just

don’t have enough information to feel secure. Somebody tries tosell you something. You feel uneasy. You want it, then you don’twant it, then you want it again — but now you don’t feel like it’sa good idea. Will it wear out, will it break down; are they pullingyour leg or is it a quality thing?

When I doubt God — when I doubt my faith — it’s wisefor me to assess what kind of doubt I’m feeling. When Jesuscalled Peter to walk on water (Matthew 14:30-32), Peter startedout with faith — he stepped out of the boat — but then the windpicked up and he came unglued. He started to sink; he cried out,“Lord, save me!” Jesus reached out his hand and caughthim.... And then he asked Peter a very straightforward question:“Why did you doubt?”

This is an investigative question. It’s a challenge tointrospection. When I’m doubting God, that’s not time to put ona mask and hide, or get angry and stomp off, or give up andwither away. It’s time for exploration.

Maybe some of us in this room have deep, long-termoatmeal doubt about God. That’s OK. But it would be good, Ithink, to have enough of an open mind to really explore whetherGod is real, and whether what he says is true.

Maybe some of us are long-time believers — but we havethat wispy cotton candy kind of doubt from time to time. That’sOK too. But I think it would be good for me to go back to God intimes like this and say, “Hey, talk to me. Reassure me thatyou’re there. I’m yours, you’re mine — let’s keep thisrelationship intact.” That kind of conversation can only behealthy for me.

But then maybe some of us are tasting un paté de doute —we’re in kind of a quagmire of faith and doubt. We’re goingback and forth. We’re wavering. I think this is the mostuncomfortable kind of doubt there is — you feel you have itnailed down, you’re going along all secure and serene, and thennnnnnnnnn ... There’s something in this paté that doesn’t tastequite right, doesn’t taste familiar. There’s something in this faithsystem that doesn’t quite make sense to me. The dots don’tconnect. I hate this!

This is the time to go digging around. To explore. To readthe package the paté came in. I don’t have to live with this

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uncertainty. I can find out if this is duck or turkey, whether theseare peppercorns or something even more horrible. In the sameway, when I have a spasm of doubt about my faith, I can goexploring. I can read, I can dig into the Scriptures. I can talk toGod. I can talk to a minister or some other friend. Doubt may beinevitable, and resolving my doubt today doesn’t guarantee Iwon’t have some other doubt next month or next year — but Iam not helpless in this situation. I can move myself forward,toward a resolution, today. That exploration process will behealthy for me.

* * *Here’s another certainty I’ve been able to make out in the

midst of all the uncertainty:2. I want everything to make sense to me, but God doesn’t

really care if it makes sense or not.That’s my standard; it’s not God’s standard. There’s tons

of stuff that God never intended to “make sense” on a humanlevel — and one of the side-effects of this is: of course I’m goingto doubt. The Trinity? Hard to comprehend. Creation? Very far-fetched. Eternity? Can’t really grasp that. The work of the HolySpirit? God coming to earth in human form and then dying —then coming back from the dead — then floating back up toheaven? These phenomena just do not entirely make sense to therational mind.

Dr. Darryl DelHousaye says the human mind is a smallvessel; God pours his infinite presence into it, it fills up reallyfast, and everything that spills over is what we call “mystery.”Jesus talked about the “mysteries of the kingdom of God”(Matthew 13:11). In the original language of the Scriptures, it’smusteerion. We find it all through the New Testament. Theapostle Paul talked about “God’s secret wisdom, a wisdom thathas been hidden” (1 Corinthians 2:7). 1 Timothy 3:9 talksabout “deep truths of the faith,” but the word is actuallyexactly the same: musteerion — mystery. Finally, in 1 Timothy3:16, it’s almost as if Paul throws up his hands, and he makesthis statement, talking about God’s interaction with humanbeings: “Beyond all question, the mystery of godliness isgreat....”

We are just not going to “get” everything! We’re humanbeings. God is God, and we’re not. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.,said, “Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the

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whole staircase....”We humans have elevated the stature of reason. Reason is

important — but reason is not all there is, because reason can’taddress every issue in life. For every advance in science, we findanother layer of questions.

Plus, you’ve got the reality of emotions; you’ve gotmoments of intuition. You may be the most rational guy on theplanet, but one day you fall in love and you make a great big fatemotional decision to get married. You may be the mostmeasured thinker in the world, but the moment comes when youjust have a hunch about something, and you go for it.

In fact, to believe that every question in life can beanswered rationally is not rational. It takes faith to get throughlife. Every step into the unknown, even on the most basic level,is actually a step of faith. In the grocery store, there are twochickens in the case. I choose one. I have no way of knowingwhether the chicken I choose is actually good. I’m employingfaith. Faith is that fundamental trusting that taking the next step,whatever it is, is going to turn out all right. Faith is what weemploy in those situations that can’t be figured out simply bycalculations. And there’s a lot about life that can’t be figured outthat way. A lot of things in life defy calculation, defy reason.

And because we’re only human — we’re not really incontrol — we can’t change this characteristic of the world. Wecan’t force everything to be capable of being reasoned out. Allwe can do is “make do” — get by — do whatever it takes to leapfrom one calculation to the next. The space in between is a leapof faith.

* * *Maybe the strangest certainty I’ve landed on, in the midst

of all my uncertainty, is this:3. Some truths choose me.This faith-and-doubt thing is not just a one-way street. This

is not just about my heart and mind going out and seeking truthand finding answers or failing to. This road also has an inboundlane. Sometimes, something comes to me and I just sense thatit’s true, without needing to understand it.

You meet someone, you sense their heart, you go down theroad with them, and years later your intuition proves to havebeen right. You get an opportunity, you sense that it’s right, yougo down that road, and years later you look back and say, Yep,

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that was right.Sometimes, in my relationship with God, I have this same

kind of experience. I read something in the Bible, and somehowit rings true. Or I hear something in a sermon, or a song, anddeep inside me, there’s something in me that just “knows” it tobe true. It registers or something; it resonates with me. I can’treally explain it — but I don’t feel a big need to explain it.

I need to understand that this is OK. This isn’t a sign ofweakness, or some breakdown in my brain. This is a sign that myinternal radio is tuned to God’s frequency. My equipment isfunctioning right.

It’s also a sign that God is doing what he said he would do.In John 6:44 Jesus says, “No one can come to me unless theFather who sent me draws him....” This sounds like he’s tryingto keep people out, but that’s not what he’s talking about. In thevery next breath, he says that people are “taught by God” —and then he says, “Everyone who listens to the Father andlearns from him comes to me.” In other words, if I’m movingtoward Christ, I’m listening to God. I’m learning from him. IfI’m sensing in some new way that God is real, if I’m sensing insome new way that God is true, that he is still telling me thetruth, that’s a signal that he’s on the job. That’s a good thing.

* * *Here’s certainty #4: Doubt is not a sin. Doubt is a tool.It’s a pickaxe; it’s a trowel. It’s something to dig around

with. I can use my doubt to push and prod and poke around inmy faith and find out what’s there, what’s true.

When I’m doubting God, I don’t have to put on a mask andpretend I have no doubts. Martin Luther said, “God prefers theangry shout of the atheist to the pious prattle of the spiritual.” Ican actually leap off of my doubt like a diving board, yelling andscreaming at God for help, for strength, for wisdom.

Patrick Overton, the poet-pastor, has written:When you have come to the edgeOf all light that you knowAnd are about to drop off into the darknessOf the unknown,Faith is knowingOne of two things will happen:There will be something solid to stand on orYou will be taught to fly.

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Four guys who knew Jesus personally wrote biographies ofhim. We call them the “gospels”: they were written by Matthew,Mark, Luke, and John. They took very different approaches, butall four included this concept —

Matthew 7:8: “For everyone who asks receives; he whoseeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will beopened.”

Mark 11:24: “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask forin prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will beyours.”

Luke 11:10: “For everyone who asks receives; he whoseeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will beopened.”

John 16:24: “Until now you have not asked foranything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joywill be complete.”

— Jesus saying, in one form or another, Ask God. You’llget answers. It will be good for you to have asked.

* * *And finally, in the midst of all our uncertainty, here’s

maybe the most important certainty of all.5. Doubt is not optional. Doubt is essential.We generally think of the opposite of faith as doubt — but

the opposite of faith is not doubt: the opposite of faith iscertainty.

Does this seem strange? Think about it: the only time youdon’t have doubt is when you have certainty. If you are certainabout something, you have no doubt. And if you are certainabout something, you have no need to exercise faith. Doubt andfaith are both on the same side of this equation — oppositecertainty.

Doubting doesn’t mean you have no faith. Quite thecontrary: if you have faith, then you must doubt. It is the humancondition to wonder about things. If I’m uncertain aboutsomething, and can’t get all the information I need, then I mustexercise faith — and my mind will keep poking around on thetopic, wondering about this and that. That’s doubt. It’s actuallypart of faith! An essential, inseparable component of faith.

Since we don’t have all the information, in our humancondition, then we’re going to need faith. No wonder God sayswe have to have faith — 2 Corinthians 5:7 says, “We live by

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faith, not by sight.” Well, yeah! Hebrews 11:1 (KJV) saysfaith is “the evidence of things not seen.” If we’re living byfaith, not by sight — and faith is evidence — then we live onevidence. We don’t walk on proof. We walk on evidence. Proofis a closed door. It’s “case closed.” We don’t have that luxury inthis human realm. But evidence is an open door. It’s underinvestigation. Our minds will keep mulling the evidence. It’show we humans operate.

So if I have faith, I’ll doubt. And if I don’t doubt — thenI’m not walking by faith! Hebrews 11:6 says that “withoutfaith it is impossible to please God.” My doubts — myprocessing of my imperfect human understanding of God’sevidence — is part of how I please him. It’s part of how I relateto him, and grow in relationship to him. My grappling with mydoubt pleases him.

* * *There is no vaccination for doubt. It will come back again

and again. But doubt does not have to be paralyzing to me. I cansee it as essential — and I can use it as a trowel, a pickaxe. I canuse it as a diving board. I can use it as means of connection toGod. Even if I start out using it as a means of challenging God— he will love having the conversation. He will make it worthmy while.

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Notes:

4LOST IN A MASQUERADE

THE MARRIAGE MISTAKE

November 2 & 3, 2005

One day not long ago, I was having a conversation with aguy who basically wanted out of his marriage. Sick of his wife,tired of the problems, no hope for things to change — he wantedout. Barely an hour later, I was dealing with a woman — a singlemom, who urgently wanted to find a husband. Sick of beingsingle, tired of being alone, burned out on dating. She waslooking around at all the married people, and she wanted in.

And I could relate to both of them. I’ve been on both sidesof that divide. I know what it means to be single and really,really want to get married. And I know what it means to be in amarriage and really, really want to get out of it.

Here’s what struck me, though, for the first time, afterthese two back-to-back encounters a few days ago. God’s truth isthe same for both people. They were in opposite situations, andyet the wisdom I was able to derive from the Scriptures wasidentical for both of them.

Now I know it’s dangerous for a married person to giveadvice to a single person, and vice versa. It’s annoying for aperson who’s never had children to give advice to parents. SoI’m going down this road with a certain amount of fear andtrepidation. But I have talked to a lot of singles about theirsingleness, and a lot of married people about their marriages, andwhile it may be impossible to give advice that applies toabsolutely everybody, I’ve found that there are some truths thatdo seem to apply across the board. Our lead pastor David G.Brown has also thought and written a lot about marriage, and hiswife Rebecca has thought and written a lot about being single —she was single for 40 years — and as I’ve absorbed their insightson these two subjects, I find that a lot of the concepts are

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interchangeable between singles and marrieds. Here’s what I’vecome to believe.

1. The grass does indeed look greener on the other side.It’s my human nature to want something I don’t have.

Proverbs 9:17 says, “Stolen water is sweet; food eaten insecret is delicious!” And there will always be something I don’thave; so I will go through life wanting.

We come into the world wanting. A baby wants to be fed; achild wants everything he sees. We have to be taught to monitorour wanting. I have to get a handle on my wanting, or it willdrive me crazy.

There was a classic New Yorker cartoon with 3 panels: aman is at work but he’s thinking about golf; then he’s on the golfcourse but he’s thinking about sex; then he’s in bed but he’sthinking about work.

It will be good for me to learn to be suspicious of my ownwants — to learn to think critically about my desires — to stepback and get some objectivity about my wanting.

I need to keep in mind that desire is something thathappens in my head. Desire is composed of my perceptions andexpectations. So, as Rebecca Radmacher Brown has written,“Coping with any state of being that is unwanted oruncomfortable or difficult is chiefly about coping with the voicesin my head that pound at me, that tell me how horribleeverything is and shouldn’t it really be better if God were aloving God like he says he is — that sort of stuff.”

How do I cope with these voices in my head? Is there aswitch I can flick? No. Is there a pill I can take? Yes, a numberof them — but that’s probably not the healthiest solution. Thebest way to cope with the voices in my head will be for me to letGod re-train them. This is not a pleasant answer, but it’s a trueanswer. I need to engage in the arduous, endless process ofpolicing the voices in my head, with God’s partnership.

To police the voices in my head and manage my desires,the surest foundation is not some religious routine, it’s not somepharmaceutical — it’s training. This doesn’t happen by magic; itdoesn’t happen automatically. 1 Timothy 4:7 says “...Trainyourself to be godly.” The word in the original Greek wasgumnazo — it’s often translated exercise. Hebrews 5:14 says“mature” people are those who “have trained themselves —gumnazo — to distinguish good from evil.” Romans 12:2 says

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you can “be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Ihave to decide to do this, and keep on deciding to do it, and keepon doing it.

2. My desires are based on a picture I’ve painted in myown brain.

I cannot know the future; I can only speculate. A singleperson fantasizes a beautiful, carefree marriage. A marriedperson fantasizes a beautiful, carefree single life, or a beautiful,carefree marriage to a different person. But reality never deliversthe fantasy.

I have a high P.I.Q. What’s a P.I.Q.? This is my PotentialIgnorance Quotient. The chances that I am missing someinformation is very, very high. It is 100% likely that I don’t seemy whole situation clearly, the way God sees it. What is Godsparing me from by not letting that wonderful person fall madlyin love with me?

I’m sorry to report that many people have wound up invery difficult, very bad marriages. They have been neglected, orabused, or disrespected — they have suffered all kinds ofinsanity. This is never what they set out in search of. This is notwhat they foresaw or desired. It just happened this way —because human beings have an off-the-charts P.I.Q. Theycouldn’t know, and they didn’t know, and it happened.

Oh, if only we had a “futurescope” — a crystal ball thatcould show us what would be, if we went down a certain road. Itwould be good if a single person who is paralyzed with a desirefor marriage could walk through just one terrible day of theneglected-abused-disrespected kind of life with a spouse, dealingwith that kind of pain and stress — and the aching to be singleagain that goes with it. It would be good if a married person whois suffering with a desire for escape could walk through just oneday of the loneliness, the loss, the frustration, the unforeseenpressures of singlehood — or the negatives of being married tothat other person who looks so deliciously attractive today.

In Psalm 139:5 David says “You hem me in — behindand before; you have laid your hand upon me.”Lamentations 3:21-22 says Yet this I call to mind andtherefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love weare not consumed....

Maybe God isn’t withholding something good for me.Maybe he’s withholding something bad from me. Maybe he’s

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protecting me because he loves me so much. Maybe he’s sparingme a disappointment. Maybe he’s giving me a free pass, insteadof letting me consign myself to a life that is deeply unfulfilling— and all the more painful because I had such high hopes for it.

There’s a prevailing myth in some church circles thatChristians don’t have marriage problems. The truth is the divorcerate among Christians is now said to be 60% — higher thanamong non-Christians. The researcher George Barna finds thatdivorce rates are significantly higher for conservative Christiansthan for atheists or agnostics! What’s up with this? It’shappening partly because we hide behind a mask and pretendthat all is well, when all is not well. We think everybody else hasthe perfect marriage and we’re the oddity. But relational stress isuniversal.

3. The expectation that God will change someone to meetmy desires is completely bogus.

The single person who urgently wants to be married andcounts on the other person changing after the wedding will bedisappointed. In most cases, that person will get worse, notbetter! The married person who pleads with God to change theirspouse is barking up the wrong tree. God won’t invade thatperson’s free will for your benefit any more than he will invadeyour free will and manipulate you for the sake of your marriagepartner.

In fact, do you realize that God never promises to bless amarriage? God never promises to bless a relationship. He neverpromises that if we “live right,” will make things easier for us —that all our relationships will flourish and grow. To promise thatwould mean overriding the free will of that person who’s makingme miserable. God doesn’t go there.

I will get further faster if I ask God to change me. If I askhim to make me more loving, more patient, stronger, wiser. If Iask him to help me communicate truth in loving ways, in waysthat my marriage partner can hear and receive and be blessed by.1 John 4:12 says “...if we love one another, God lives in usand his love is made complete in us.” I’m going to approachGod’s ideal design for my life if I love that other person insteadof working to change that other person — and loving that personwill be healthy for me.

4. When my heart is breaking, God’s heart is breaking.When I’m despairing over being single and having no

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prospects for marriage, nothing but a string of unsatisfactoryrelationships to show for my life, I’m not alone. God is hurtingwith me. His love for you compels him to grieve with you. Hisheart longs for the people in your life to love you the way hedoes.

But he won’t force them. He doesn’t make anyone behavethe way they ought to. And one side-effect of his commitment tofree will is that nice people get their hearts broken —unnecessarily.

Sure, God promises to take the manure in our lives and useit as fertilizer to grow good stuff, but that doesn’t make it anymore pleasant. It’s still manure, and it still stinks. Life is smellyand dirty and ugly sometimes.

But at least I have a friend who doesn’t blame me or waghis finger in my face or annoy me with advice. He just cries withme and loves me. When Jesus encountered sick people, heresponded with compassion and healed them. When he dealtwith hungry people, he responded with compassion and fedthem. When he found people who were confused and lostspiritually — “like sheep without a shepherd” (Mark 6:34), hehurt for them — and he responded by teaching them. 2Corinthians 1:3 calls God “the Father of compassion and theGod of all comfort.”

And he keeps working in the background, even through allmy junk. He has made me a promise — to bring something goodout of my bad (Romans 8:28). When I can’t see that happening,I can at least intellectually be sure that it is happening, somehow.And when everything in life seems crummy, at least I can hangon to that hope.

One time when Rebecca was talking about this subject, shesaid these words: “It perhaps helps to know that God ... longs tocomfort and heal us, [yet] is strong enough and wise enough notsimply to give in to our pain, but to help us through it tosomething better. Of course, sometimes, that’s what I hate mostabout him.”

Which segues pretty neatly into truth #5. I can complainbitterly to God.

I can tell God how angry and hurt I am. He can take it. Idon’t have to wear a Christian mask and pretend that my paindoesn’t exist.

When I honestly face the pain, God is there. But I have to

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walk through the pain. That’s what “walking by faith” is about.It does not necessarily feel good. Winston Churchill once said,“If you’re going through hell, keep going.” This is good advice.

When I complain to God, I give him a chance to talk backto me. To comfort me. To change my perspectives. Sometimesyou’re hurting so bad that you almost feel any kind of changewould be welcome. Fortunately, life is fluid; it has a way ofchanging. Life does not tend to stay the same. And our hearts aremalleable; they can be shaped. There is hope for me not to be somiserable because I can change. Psalm 37:5,6 says if I commitmy way to God, if I trust in him, here’s what hell do: it says Hewill make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justiceof your cause like the noonday sun. Dawning is movement. Thesun moves across the sky. These are images of change. If I stayengaged with God as my source, my life and my situation canchange for the better.

6. My marital status is not what I’m about.I get an idea in my head about what would make life good,

and it is pretty easy to fixate on a change in my marital status asthe key to making life good. I never have enough control tomake it happen — but I think this is God’s way of keeping mefrom goofing things up. When I’m crazed to change my maritalstatus — to get single, or to get married — it seems that thischange is the key to all the happiness in my life. But in reality,it’s only one of many things that keep life from being perfect.And even if I achieve the change of status that I so ferventlydesire, I’m going to find that it doesn’t do the trick.

Marriage has become wrongly pegged as the be-all andend-all of life. Lots of single people crave marriage — and lotsof married people put all their hopes in it. But both will bedisappointed. Marriage is not the be-all and end-all of life. It isGod’s way of accomplishing a lot of worthwhile goals — likemaking babies and teaching wisdom and providing stability inthe midst of the world’s messes — but marriage in and of itselfis not the key to fulfillment in life.

Marriage is not paradise. Marriage is a laboratory, wherethe lab rats are being continuously experimented on. Thehusband, the wife, the children, the grandparents, the in-laws —there are beakers of emotional chemicals boiling all over theplace. We are learning what happens when we combine varioussubstances. Sometimes there are successes; sometimes there are

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explosions. Sometimes we just make a stink.The bottom-line truth about marriage is that my marriage

partner cannot make me happy. There is something so imperfectabout the human species that even someone utterly devoted tomy happiness cannot make me entirely happy. There’s a song onDavid Wilcox’s CD Big Horizon called Break in the Cup. In thefirst part of the song he says:

I try so hard to please youTo be the love that fills you upI try to pour on sweet affection,But I think you got a broken cup....As soon as I fill you with all I've gotThat little break will let it run right out.I cannot make you happy....

Then later in the song he discovers:...You cannot make me happyIt's just the law of gravityAnd that break in the cup that holds love,Inside of me.

But this doesn’t just go one way. By the end of the song,Wilcox realizes that both people have broken cups, and he sings:

We cannot trade empty for emptyWe must go to the waterfallFor there's a break in the cup that holds love...Inside us all....

Isaiah 58:11 says, “The Lord will guide you always; hewill satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and willstrengthen your frame. You will be like a well-wateredgarden, like a spring whose waters never fail.” The onlyunlimited source of love and care and provision in this world isGod himself. We can do as much as we can do, but we can’t doeverything. So as someone unsatisfied in a marriage, I have to goto God’s waterfall of endless love. And I have to keep goingthere. Whether my marriage partner goes there or not. This is myonly hope. It’s God’s waterfall — or dehydration.

And this is going to be true for the single person enteringinto that marriage that was so longed for and prayed for anddreamed of. You can get the spouse you wanted — and you willstill discover, probably sooner rather than later, that they’ve got abroken cup. And so do you.

Going to God’s waterfall is not just a theoretical metaphor.

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This is not just a religious cliché or a philosophical saying.God’s waterfall is practical. He has a whole range of good stuffflowing over that cliff. In other words, there are other sources ofhappiness, other sources of relationship, that can go a long waytoward satisfying me.

Which leads us to #7. Healthy friendships are crucial to ahappy life, whether I’m single or married.

This may sound like another counseling cliché, but it istrue nonetheless. Many people make the mistake of assigningastronomical levels of intensity to the marriage relationship,compared to the intensity level of regular old friendships. In theirminds, in their expectations, they have their marriage partnerway up here, off the charts — this is the deepest, mostmeaningful, most profound relationship I could possibly have —and even their very best friend outside of the marriage way, waydown the scale. There’s a huge gap between the two, becausethey have the marriage relationship up on this pedestal.

But what many, many married people have discovered isthat marrying somebody doesn’t automatically ensure that theywill be far and away your best friend. Sure, there will benumerous components of my life with this person that are deeplyrewarding and couldn’t be replicated in another relationship, butmany of us wake up one day sometime after the wedding andrealize — Hey, this relationship isn’t everything there is. Thisrelationship isn’t satisfying me as fully as I thought it would.Some marriages go through a time of real testing as one partneror the other reaches out into social relationships — maybe onepartner is threatened by this, they’re still clinging to theimagined ideal of the marriage relationship being all you need,so they feel like a failure, or they feel like their partner is failingthem. But it is a cruel burden to place on a marriage to expect itto provide all the relational dynamics a human being is wired for.We’re wired for community, and community by its nature meansa whole lot of different folks. If my marriage partner doesn’tgive me the relational “depth” I want, maybe I need to stoptrying to change my marriage partner and work on my otherrelationships.

Rebecca, in counseling frustrated singles, has made thisobservation — and I’ll paraphrase her a bit:

Bottom line, what do I really want from a marriagerelationship? Someone to share life with. Someone to

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weep with me when I’m sad. Someone to laugh with mewhen I’m happy, or when I just need a good laugh.Someone to hold me when I’m scared. Someone tocomfort me when I’m feeling overwhelmed. What is allof this? It’s “nurturing.”

Nurturing isn’t something guys typically think aboutwanting, but go ahead and use different terminology if you haveto — guys want this stuff just like girls do. We want to be tendedto. Looked after. Cared for. Watched over. Cherished. It willlook somewhat different from one marriage to the next, and itmay come out a little different depending on my gender, but it’sall one thing: nurturing.

But here’s the strange truth: I can get just about all of thisfrom a friendship. I don’t have to be married to experience thesebenefits. And in fact, if I get married and expect one person tocover the waterfront for me emotionally, I’ll be disappointed. Ihave the option of developing friendships that meet myemotional needs.

Now it goes without saying that friendships have to bemonitored; it’s possible to have an unhealthy friendship — arelationship that threatens your marriage, or a relationship thatundermines your spiritual formation. But healthy friendships willbe constructive for you, whether you’re married or single.

When I’m asked to counsel a single person who has grownfrustrated with the single life, I often find myself asking the samequestion as when I’m asked to counsel a married person who hasgrown frustrated with the marriage: How’s your social life? Asingle person has the freedom to pursue numerous opportunitiesto meet interesting people, single and otherwise — and developvaluable friendships. I urge this. It’s healthy. You don’t have todo so-called “singles functions” — although I think they’ve beenunfairly maligned. I urge pursuing opportunities to meetinteresting people not as a means of finding a mate, but as ameans of growing friendships.

And I can testify that a great number of married people getsome years into their marriage and wind up feeling dry, and itturns out they have no social life. They’ve become consumedwith the work of making a living, the work of making a home,the work of making a family, the work of raising kids (withoutkilling the kids or each other — and believe me, that can bework) — and the work of maintaining the marriage relationship

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itself. They’re working themselves to death, and they have nocommunity in their lives. Community is a spring that replenishesthe human spirit. They’re drying up because the only friendsthey have are each other — and sorry, babe, but you’re notenough for me! Let’s be honest: even a married couple involvedin a church can be starving for community — if all they’re doingis attending services, doing volunteer activities, having theselimited kinds of interaction with people. These are good things— but they don’t qualify as intimacy. They can set the stage forintimate relationships, but intimacy is something that grows outof a longer-term process, the process of doing life together overtime.

I’ve dealt with unhappy couples who were basicallyclawing each other to death because they had no real focus onanybody outside of their own home. They were like two cagedanimals, getting hungrier and hungrier, more and moredesperate, with nobody to turn on but each other. Friendships arealso beautiful learning devices — I can learn from my friendshipwith you, I can see how you do stuff, how you handle a certaintype of conflict, and whether it works. I can ask you about stuff;and when you ask me about stuff, I can mold my own thinkingover the course of our dialogue. We’ll learn from each other. IfI’m married and have no close friendships, my educationalopportunities are seriously and dangerously limited — I’vebasically only got one person in the world I’m learning from, andthat’s the person I’m responsible for taking care of. That can putme in a really awkward position — because my spouse’sweakest area is the very area in which I need to care for her themost completely. In other words, the area where I need the mosthelp, the most support, the greatest wisdom — that’s where I’mgetting the least from my marriage partner. (God decided Adamneeded “a helper suitable for him” in Genesis 2:18, so hecreated Eve. She wasn’t there to do all the work. She was thereto teach Adam to ask for directions.)

I would say to unhappy singles and unhappy marriedsalike: Life is more than marriage. Life is people. And sometimesthe most unexpected people can contribute beautifully to ourlives if we just give them the chance.

* * *I hear single people say, “If I were only married, I

would...” And I hear married people say, “If I were only single, I

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would...” Singles look at Rebecca Radmacher Brown, who wassingle till she was 40 and then got to marry the talented andhandsome man of God, David G. Brown — and they say tothemselves, How did she get so lucky? But you know whatRebecca is saying to herself? If I were single again, I wouldtravel. I would visit great museums; I would learn anotherlanguage; I would take classes at the college; I would write abook; I would join a community chorus. Look at all the greatstuff he’s keeping her from!

I can’t allow the quality of my life to be determined by thepresence or absence of someone else, even if that person is myspouse. Spouses come and go. Romances come and go.Friendships come and go. Jesus sticks. Even my feelings comeand go, as my circumstances shift. God is the only endlesslyrenewable resource in my life.

When Paul the apostle was doing ministry, he found thathis friends in Philippi helped him, then they stopped helpinghim, then they started helping him again. He didn’t wag hisfinger in their faces and scold them. He was just grateful whenthe help was there. Here’s what he said to them:

Philippians 4:11 ...I have learned to be content whatever the

circumstances.12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is

to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content inany and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whetherliving in plenty or in want.

And then, in the very next line, he revealed how he hadlearned to be content no matter what.

13 I can do everything through him who gives mestrength.

God is the only sure relationship I have — he’s the onlyreliable backbone for me to hang my emotions on. But evenwhen people fail me, he’s more than enough. He is only bringinggood stuff out of the bad stuff that’s happening to me. And infact, if I could see the end from the beginning, as he does, Iwould not only thank him for not giving me what I want, whatI’m so sure I need — I would fall on my knees and worship himfor being so wise and so good.

The prophet Jeremiah was bummed about where God hadput him. But after he had done his complaining to God, he

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started telling himself a different story about God’s role in hislife.

Lamentations 3:22 ...His compassions never fail.23 They are new every morning; great is your

faithfulness.24 I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion [in other

words, he’s enough for me]; therefore I will wait for him."25 The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to

the one who seeks him;26 it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the

Lord.Amen.

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Notes:

5LOST IN A MASQUERADE

SO THE PRESIDENT CALLED

ME THE OTHER DAY...November 9 & 10, 2005

Look what I have: an autographed copy of The TippingPoint by Malcolm Gladwell — the greatest living writer in thewhole wide world. He sent me this for my birthday.

Look what else I have: a handwritten letter from theAcademy Award-winning actress Ginger Rogers. It’s a thankyou letter. To me.

Here’s a letter to me from former President Richard Nixon.Hand-signed.

Are you impressed? Well, I should hope so. These areimportant people. And I was in personal contact with them. Italked with Ginger Rogers face to face, people!

What is this called? Celebrity-mongering, I think.I think there’s a bit of the celebrity-monger in all of us.

You find yourself in close proximity to someone famous, and it’skind of cool.

I bumped into Peter Jennings once at the Phoenician.I shook Jimmy Carter’s hand while he was running for

President.I ate lunch with Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker.Pretty soon you’ll tell me who you bumped into. Whose

famous hand you shook. What powerful person you had lunchwith. A musician will tell you what famous musician they hadcontact with. A sailor will tell you what famous sailor they hadcontact with.

There’s a part of me that wants you to be impressed bywho I know — in other words, to just be real direct about it, Iwant to live in their reflected glory. I want some of that celebrity

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status to rub off on me. I want your view of me to be improved.There’s something in all of us that wants our position to beimproved in people’s minds. By my association with someonemore famous or glamorous or influential or powerful than me, Ihope to be a bit more famous or glamorous or influential orpowerful myself. This is a natural instinct.

* * *There was a man in ancient Palestine whose son was

possessed by evil spirits (Matthew 17:14-20). He would go intoviolent seizures; sometimes he would fall into a fire, or intowater. He was suffering horribly, and his father was suffering forhim.

But when this dad heard that there was a healer namedJesus traveling around the region, he started asking around.Eventually he found the healer’s followers, his so-calleddisciples. He asked them to cast the demons out of his boy.

The guys tried, they really did. We don’t know from thehistorical record if they prayed out loud, laid hands on him,commanded the demons to come out, whatever — but nothingthey did made even a dent. The kid was still just as messed upwhen they finished as when they started.

Finally the boy’s father located Jesus. Matthew 17:14-20tells us when he found him, out in a public place, he was sodesperate that he actually knelt down in front of Jesus andbegged him for help. “I brought him to your disciples,” hesaid, “but they could not heal him.” Jesus responded with griefand frustration. Then he had the boy brought to him — I suggestyou read the whole account for yourself in Mark 9:14-29; it’sextremely graphic, very dramatic. But he rebuked the demon, thedemon came out of the boy, and the boy was healed.

Now the disciples are scratching their heads. Pretty soonthey talk to Jesus in private. “Why couldn’t we drive it out?”they want to know. And Jesus says, in essence, “Look, all youneed is faith the size of a mustard seed, but you don’t even havethat much.” They weren’t placing their faith in God. They wereplacing their faith in themselves, banking on their relationshipwith Jesus.

This is an important distinction. The faith that God callsme to isn’t some nebulous, ethereal feeling. It’s not some vaguebelief that somehow everything will turn out all right. And it’salso not a belief that somehow, deep inside me, I have what it

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takes to make something happen. There’s a part of me that wantsto be God. I want to believe that we’re all really God, in essence— and I’ve known many, many people who believe this — butGod never indicates this, anywhere in Scripture. What theScriptures make clear is that God is God, and I’m not. We’redistinct beings. He is the Creator, I’m the created one, thecreation, the creature. God is not just another pal on my buddylist. He is high; I’m lowly. If I have dignity, it’s because Godgave it to me. If I have gifts, it’s because God gave them to me.If I have power, it’s only his power working through me. God isthe potter; I’m the pottery. In fact, I’m just clay — if I becomevaluable at all as a piece of pottery, it’s the result of his talent,his work, his willingness to shape me and use me.

A few weeks ago we talked about how God wants to be ourfriend. He’s approachable. And this is true. But we need to bringsome balance to this idea. God is only approachable because heallows it, because he loves us. It’s his call, not ours. We luckedout. We got a good God.

There are many in the religion business these days whoposition God like an errand boy. They start with God’swillingness to be our friend, and then expand on that to suggestthat God will just do anything we want, all we have to do is snapour fingers and he’ll produce. Or that every thought that comesinto my head is from God, so whatever I want is good and godly.

The truth is, God will do what he wants — and my role isto get on board with his program, not the other way around. Andfurthermore, I have to inspect my thoughts, I have to judge mydesires, I have to question my emotions, to see if they’re in linewith God’s design. I have to ask God to help me even with this.I’m helpless without him — and in fact, I’m often helpless withhim, simply because of my own inability to understand and trustwhat God says. The father who brought his demon-possessed sonto Jesus, in his panic and anxiety for his boy, expressed this kindof dilemma very concisely (Mark 9:24). He said, “I do believe;help me overcome my unbelief!” He was torn between faithand doubt, and he couldn’t even believe God without help.

This is my position. My need for God is total. My ability tohelp myself is zero. Anything I’ve been able to do in life, it’sbeen the grace of a loving God being manifested in spite of myown failures and weaknesses.

Even after I give my life to God — even after I accept

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Christ’s sacrifice for my sin and become spiritually cleansed — Iam still the flawed human being who stumbles and bumbles. Ihave access to God, but it’s by his grace, not my goodness. I’mnot better than the person who rejects Christ. It’s just that God inhis mercy helped me see a way to have my fat pulled out of thefire.

Jesus dealt with Jewish religious leaders who felt thatsimply because of their ethnicity, they were right with God(Matthew 3:9). Or simply because they went through certainreligious rituals, they were right with God. Or simply becausethey avoided certain activities, they were right with God.

Many Jews even today hold to this thinking. It’s wrong.God singled them out as a nation to preserve his Word anddisseminate his truth to the world simply because he wanted to.It was not because of anything special about the people — it wasjust God’s decision to interact with them in a particular way.

We Americans do it too. We think God loves the UnitedStates more than he loves other countries because we’vesupposedly been a “Christian nation.” This is wrong. There is nosuch thing as a Christian nation — a nation with only Christianpeople — and even if we define a Christian nation in very broadterms, then we would have to include dozens of countries wherethere are more people with a Christian heritage than any otherheritage. But the more important truth is that God loves theworld — and let’s go one important step further: God does notlove Christians more than he loves everyone else. He loves theselfish pagan hedonist just as much as he loves the prudish,celibate missionary. His heart is broken by the sin of the drugdealer, and his heart is just as broken by the sin of Doug Brendel.I’m no better. (I’m just better off. I took God’s offer, and got letoff the hook for my junk.)

What are we doing as Americans, claiming a specialposition with God? We want some extra advantage. I want to beon the inside. I don’t want to be on the same terms with God aseverybody else. I want special terms. I want to think of myself asbetter than the others, closer to God, more on the inside track —even though Romans 12:3 says, “...Do not think of yourselfmore highly than you ought, but rather think of yourselfwith sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faithGod has given you.”

You know the parable of the good Samaritan that Jesus told

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(Luke 10:25-37). This Jewish guy is traveling from Jerusalem toJericho — this is a dangerous stretch of road, notorious forhijackings and muggings — and sure enough, these guys pounceon him, strip his clothes off of him, beat him half to death, andrun away. A priest comes along, sees this bloody mess along theside of the road, and he passes to the other side to avoid it. Thena religious official comes along, and he crosses the road to avoidthe guy too.

But then a Samaritan comes along. Samaria was thecountry between Galilee in the north and Judea in the south, bothof which were Jewish. Samaritans were half-breeds, and theywere despised. If anybody was going to avoid helping a Jewishguy, it would be a Samaritan.

But the way Jesus wrote this story, the Samaritan takes pityon the robbery victim. He treats his wounds, bandages him up,puts him on his donkey, and check him into the nearest hotel. Hestays with him, takes care of him the rest of the day, all evening,and overnight. The next day he takes a major chunk of change,prepays the hotel so the guy can stay awhile, and even arrangescredit so if the money runs out before the guy is well enough totravel, the hotel will let him stay — and be reimbursed later bythe Samaritan.

What was Jesus saying here? He was saying that the“outsider” who loves people is better than the “insider” whoignores people. He was exploding the idea that God prefers theinsiders over the outsiders. What God values is people who lovehim and love people. People who trust his design for their lives— and his design is a design of proactive, selfless love.

There is something in us that wants to be able to get aroundthis. I want to be able to get around loving people. Especiallyunlovely people. Do you know why Jesus told the story of thegood Samaritan? A specialist in religious regulations came up tohim and engaged him in conversation. As he often did, Jesus gotaround to talking about the “Two Things” — Thing 1 and Thing2 — loving God and loving people, which he positioned as thetwo most important things in all of life. But the way Jesushappened to express Thing 2 in this conversation wasn’t bysimply saying “Love people”; instead, he quoted Leviticus19:18 in the Old Testament: “...Love your neighbor asyourself....”

Now the religious specialist, instead of just saying “Oh,

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OK,” responds with kind of a cagey question. If I’m supposed tolove my neighbor as myself, he says, then “who is myneighbor?” This is when Jesus tells the story of the goodSamaritan. The religious specialist wanted to get around Thing 1and Thing 2. He wanted to be able to avoid loving people. Hewanted the religious rules to give him position with God. Hewanted to be an insider with God on the basis of his religiousobservances. His piety. His practices. His profession of faith. ButJesus was shaking his head. No, sorry, no. You have positionwith God because of what God does, not because of what youdo. It’s God’s grace, God’s mercy — and it’s me abandoningmyself to him. Throwing myself on his mercy. Acknowledgingthat God is God and I’m not. That God is good and I’m not. ThatGod is in control and I’m not.

Is God my friend? Yes, he is. But only because he decidedto treat me better than the slave I really am (John 15:15). Hisfriendship with me is a gift of grace to me. God is my friend inthe sense that a friend meets the needs of his friends (John15:13). But I’m not God’s friend in that way — because Goddoesn’t have a need. He doesn’t need anything from me. Acts17:25 says, “...he is not served by human hands, as if heneeded anything, because he himself gives all men life andbreath and everything else.” God is not my peer. He is Lord. Iobey him — not the other way around.

* * *And yet, even when I have this straight — even when I

understand who God is, and I’m committed to obeying himinstead of the other way around — I still have a capacity for self-delusion and self-promotion. Let’s say I obey God, let’s say Idevote myself to spiritual disciplines — I fast and pray and readthe Bible and give generously and volunteer and you name it.What do I tell myself about all these activities? They’re gettingme closer to God. Aren’t they? Isn’t this why I’m doing them? Iwant to be closer to God. Isn’t this how I get there? I want Godto be happy with me. Isn’t this how I do it? I want him to see meas what the Bible calls “righteous.” Isn’t this how it happens?

It all seems so logical. But this logic is the product of ourflawed humanity, the gummed-up filter that we see everythingthrough. Here’s the truth: My obedience doesn’t get me closer toGod. Why not? Because he is already right here with me — andthat’s because of his grace, not my merits. Romans 3 says if I’m

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righteous — if I’m right with God — 22 This righteousnessfrom God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all whobelieve. There is no difference, 23 for all have sinned and fallshort of the glory of God, 24 and are justified freely by hisgrace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.

Here’s the truth: My obedience doesn’t guarantee God’sblessing. Why not? Because God has already given me everyspiritual blessing — Ephesians 1:3 tells me so. He has given methe ultimate blessing — he has given himself to me. And as fortemporal blessings, those aren’t linked to my obedience; they’relinked to what God knows will be best for me at any givenmoment. He may give something wonderful to a heathen, anddeal me a lousy hand the same day — simply because in hisgrand scheme of things, that’s best.

Many, many people go through life believing that if theydo the right things, God will bless them. The motivation behindthis thinking is exactly backwards. The sequence is “Obey, thenGod blesses” — when in reality, I am blessed, so in response, Iwill obey. The difference is huge. With the first formula, I’mobeying in order to get love. In the second, I’m obeying becauseI love — and I love because I recognize that I am already loved.

I don’t have to impress God. Here’s the truth: Myobedience doesn’t impress God. Why not? Because he knows theawful truth about me: that I’m a hopeless failure, that I’m goingto keep busting his design for my life in a whole bunch of ways(Jeremiah 17:9 tells me so), that my only hope is for him to letme off the hook by trading Christ’s perfection for myimperfection.

I don’t have to try to make God love me more. Here’s thetruth: My obedience doesn’t make God love me any more than hedoes. Why not? Because he already loves me totally. Romans8:38,39 tells me so.

God doesn’t need anything from me, and I can’t earnanything from him. To make it clear, he uses really stronglanguage: in Isaiah 64:6 he says, “...all our righteous acts arelike filthy rags....” It’s a word picture that illustrates how totallyabject we are — how totally undeserving we are of his grace —and how utterly impossible it is for us to help ourselves. There isnothing I can do to make God love me any more than he alreadydoes.

I want to believe I can perform for him. I want it to be the

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kind of deal where, if I do something for him, he can be countedon to help me, guide me, give me whatever I need. In a way,what I’m saying is, I want to be able to get into a position whereGod owes me. Where he’s obligated to me, because I’ve beensuch a good boy.

But it just ain’t so. I am justified; I am right with God. Ithas already happened. It can’t happen any more than it alreadyhas. It was complete. And it was not the result of my actions —it was the result of my faith, my trust, in God’s actions: his giftof Christ as a sacrifice in my place. Ephesians 2 tells me so: 8For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—andthis not from yourselves, it is the gift of God — 9 not byworks, so that no one can boast.

* * *OK, this kind of blows my mind. All this obedience, all

these good deeds, all this “clean living” — it doesn’t get meanywhere with God? Then why do I feel closer to God when I’mobeying, when I’m engaged in spiritual disciplines, when I’mconsciously living by God’s design?

What I’m feeling is not God getting closer to me. What I’mfeeling is what we might call “the flow.” I’ve aligned myself toGod’s design, and I’ve become more aware of the truth. Moreaware of his presence. More aware of his love. The truth wasalready true, and God was already present, and his love for mewas already total and complete and astronomically beyond myability to comprehend it — but now, finally, by aligning myselfwith God’s design, I get a glimpse of all of this.

And that’s wonderful. It’s beautiful. When I see how all-encompassing God’s love is, when I see how extremely he stroveto reach me, when I see how simple he’s made it for me, when Isee how carefully he crafted my life, it’s breathtaking. Evenwhen I get a clear picture of my own poverty, my own weakness,my own ugliness — that’s not cause for depression ordiscouragement or fear. It’s cause for celebration to realize thatGod loves me in spite of all this. Through all this.

I can lay my head on the pillow at night and rest, knowingthat I’m in the best possible hands. I’m in God’s hands. There’snothing I have to do to get his love. No checklist I have to wakeup thinking about in the middle of the night. I don’t have toknow the right people. Don’t have to keep the right schedule.Don’t have to jump through any hoops, pass any test, memorize

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any lines, go through any motions. I can lean back and rest in hiscare. As Romans 5:1 puts it, “...since we have been justifiedthrough faith, we have peace with God through our LordJesus Christ.”

Amen.

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Notes:

6LOST IN A MASQUERADE

POWER DOWN, POWER UP

November 16 & 17, 2005

Some time ago I went shopping for a new car. It was arush. I think it must be a “guy” thing. You test-drive thesevehicles, you make this big piece of complicated machinery gowherever you tell it to go. You try to outsmart the salesman. Youdo this big financial transaction. It’s a power thing.

“I have the power to choose a new car, and torture anynumber of salespeople in the process. I have the power of thefree market — the power to make the best possible deal, get theprice down so low that the salesperson is crying. Then I have thefinancial power to plunk down thousands of dollars of invisiblemoney — it’s totally on credit; it’s literally money that doesn’texist — and make them give me a new car! I have the power todrive this car down the road — make it turn left or rightwhenever I want! I can crank the radio up till my ears explode. Ihave power.”

In the process of buying a new car, I learned some thingsabout various kinds of cars. I test-drove a Chevy Cavalierconvertible. Sporty little thing. I could imagine pulling up to astoplight with the top down, looking over at the guy in the nextcar with that kind of look on my face that says, Hey ... heh-heh ...I got a convertible. The power of style!

But there was a problem with that Chevy Cavalierconvertible; and I’ve talked with a couple of Cavalier ownerssince then, and they seem to confirm the conclusion that I arrivedat during that test drive. When the light turns green, and you’reall done showing off to the person in the next lane, and you putyour foot on the accelerator, the Chevy Cavalier convertiblegoes, Yawn! Stretch! Hm? You want something? Not exactly, butthat’s a pretty close approximation.

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I came to realize that if I bought that Chevy Cavalierconvertible, I would experience all kinds of power — theemotional power, the free-market power, the financial power, thesocial power — but I would be lacking in one important kind ofpower: The power to pull away when the light turns green.Relatively speaking, that cool little Cavalier has no power underthe hood. I had to decide, in my car-shopping mode, which kindsof power were most important to me. Which kinds of powerwere unimportant to me. Because power isn’t just power. Powercomes in various forms.

How do I look at power? How do I define power? How doI value power? How do I pursue power? How do I acquirepower? How do I use power? ... I may have gone my entire lifewithout addressing any of these questions consciously, and yetmy answers to these questions are actually shaping my life. Myview of power, even if it’s subconscious, is molding myrelationships — and influencing my walk with Christ.

This is why Jesus had the conversation that he had with hisbest friends, in Mark 8:31-38. He knew it was crucial for themand us to understand the truth about power.

Let me give you the background for this conversation.Jesus has been spending month after month with his disciples,laying the groundwork for them to understand what trueChristianity was all about. He’s been traveling around with them,teaching them at every opportunity, letting them observe his lifeand ministry firsthand — but now he decides to sit down andexplain to these guys the heart and soul of our faith. What is theessence of God’s design for our lives? What’s at the center ofthis whole lifestyle of trusting God to be telling the truth, andliving accordingly? When Jesus talks about this, he addresses thepower issue first.

The disciples already had some ideas about power. Most ofthem were sick of Rome oppressing the Jewish people; theyprobably signed on with Jesus in the first place because theywanted to see somebody finally lead an uprising of the Jewsagainst the Roman government that dominated their lives. Forthem, it was about political power. One of the disciples, namedSimon — not Simon Peter, but another disciple named Simon —was known as Simon the Zealot, probably because he was amember of the political party called the Zealots. These were thepeople who were viciously opposed to the Roman government.

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In fact, Greek was the language used most commonly alongsideLatin throughout the Roman empire — but the Zealots evenopposed using the Greek language within the borders ofPalestine. Most important of all, the Zealots were looking forsalvation — but they defined salvation as the overthrow of theRoman government and the restoration of Israel as anindependent nation.

So Simon and others were focused on political power.They wanted Jesus to mount a political crusade. But Jesus keptconfusing his friends. Whenever he had what looked like anopportunity to stir up the multitudes and march on the Romanauthorities and take over the country, he backed off. Heretreated. In fact, Jesus and his friends are having thisconversation in Caesarea Philippi, one of the remotest,northernmost extremes that Jesus ever visited — miles from theaction — and they were there because Jesus had retreated fromhigh-profile conflicts with high-profile leaders of the day.

So Jesus, as it turned out, wasn’t going down the road ofpolitical power. He had a different kind of power in mind. Mark8:31 says, He then began to teach them that the Son of Manmust suffer many things and be rejected by the elders, chiefpriests and teachers of the law, and that he must be killedand after three days rise again.

Look how Jesus refers to himself: as “the Son of Man.”“Son of Man” was the nickname Jesus adopted for himself whenhe was emphasizing his human qualities, his ordinariness, hiswillingness to leave heaven and come to earth, his willingness toreduce himself to human form.

He says he’s going to have to “suffer many things.” Thisdoesn’t sound like power. He says he’s going to “be rejected bythe elders, chief priests and teachers of the law.” These are theleaders of organized religion, the leaders of the political andjudicial institutions, and the leaders of academia, of highereducation. In other words, all the opinion-shapers, the decision-makers, the true authority figures of the day are going to rejecthim.

Then he says he’s going to have to “be killed.” He’s notspeaking poetically here, or symbolically. The beginning ofverse 32 says “He spoke plainly about this.” He’s talking inwhat amounts to plain English here — in his case, plainAramaic. He says he’s going to suffer, be rejected, and be killed.

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And by the time he finishes with this horrible laundry list oftribulations, I think it hardly matters to the disciples that he addsthat he’s going to come back to life after 3 days, because (#1)who can believe such a thing, and (#2) what good does it do himto come back to life after he’s been totally discredited?

We have to remember that the disciples were ordinaryJewish guys from middle or lower class families — they hadgone to Hebrew school as children, and memorized a bunch ofScripture verses, but they were not great students of OldTestament prophecy. And even the great scholars of theScriptures in those days didn’t understand the prophecies thatpointed to Jesus as the Messiah. So the disciples couldn’t foreseethe great victory of Jesus’ resurrection. This stuff about himdying was all news to them at this point. They’ve been thinkingabout power. They’re thinking they’re going to be the membersof the Cabinet when Jesus becomes President of Israel. One ofthem will get to be Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, one ofthem will get to be ambassador to the United Nations, andwhoever comes out last when they draw straws has to be Vice-President. But they’re thinking power — while here Jesus istalking about loss. He’s talking about humiliation. He’s talkingabout devastation. The disciples are stunned.

So no wonder Matthew 16:22 tells us that Peter took himaside and began to rebuke him. “Never, Lord!” he said. “Thisshall never happen to you!”

Now Jesus might have been nice. He might have said,“Well, thanks, Pete, for your vote of support. You have a goodheart. I appreciate it. God bless ya.” But that’s not what Jesussaid.

Matthew 16:23 tells us: Jesus turned and said to Peter,“Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; youdo not have in mind the things of God, but the things ofmen.”

This had to be one of the most stinging experiences ofPeter’s entire life. Just a short time before this, in a conversationwith Jesus, Peter had affirmed that Jesus was the Messiah, andJesus had responded by calling Peter a “rock” — applauding hisfaith. Now he turns around — in the very next conversationbetween two that we have recorded in the historical record —and he calls Peter a “stumbling block.” In fact, he calls himSatan! What has changed in this brief span of time? What’s the

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difference between the Peter of a few days or perhaps onlymoments earlier, and the Peter we see here? Why would Jesusseem to turn on his friend like this?

Dr. G. Campbell Morgan says it this way: “The man wholoves Jesus, but who shuns God’s method, is a stumbling blockto Him.” This is the person who loves the idea of Jesus being hisSavior, and making him clean before God, but who actuallydoesn’t love the idea of Jesus being his Lord, in a practical way,by living his everyday life according to God’s design. We’ve allseen this phenomenon, maybe even here in our church family.Maybe I’ve even been this person, in fact. I’ve let Jesus beSavior, but not Lord. I’ve let him forgive me of my sins — I’mon my way to heaven someday — but I haven’t made him theMaster of my everyday life in some number of ways. I’ll letJesus be my Redeemer, but not my King.

And what does Jesus himself say about this kind of person?He says, “You’re in my way. You’re complicating my work —my work in your life, and my work in other people’s lives.You’re a stumbling block to me. You’re standing in front of me— between me and people who need what I can bring to them.Get behind me. In effect, you’re doing the same kind of workthat Satan is doing. You’re selling a different method of living— and it’s hurting people. Get out of my way.”

Do you see how strongly Jesus feels about this? “Satan!”“Stumbling block!” The force of the words Jesus chose toaddress this issue tells us how important this principle is. I’ve gotto get this if I’m going to go down the road as a follower ofChrist. If I miss this, I’m going to keep struggling as anindividual — and to the extent that we miss this as a group, we’llstruggle as a church.

Why did Peter miss it? Because he didn’t understand thetruth about power. And why do I miss it? Because I don’tunderstand the truth about power. When I receive the gift ofGod’s grace but I don’t live by his design, it’s because I’ve got amisplaced sense of power.

Let’s look at an imaginary person named Baxter ... “BehindYour Back” Baxter. Baxter is not a bad person. In fact, Baxter isactive here at The Compass. He serves in two different volunteercapacities. Baxter is faithful in attending services. He ofteninvites neighbors and colleagues on the job to our services.Baxter is making a major difference in the life of this church.

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Everybody loves Baxter.But when Baxter sees or hears about somebody doing

something that ought not to be, Baxter is reluctant to go face-to-face with that person and ask the hard questions and riskrejection. Baxter’s nature is to talk to some other friend in thechurch, and describe the situation, and see if they don’t agreethat it’s wrong for this situation to be going on. Which is acommon reaction. It’s a natural reaction. It’s just not the biblicalresponse that we’re called to as followers of Christ. Christ callsus clearly in Matthew 7:1-5, 18:15-17 to start by talking directlyto people we have conflict with, and only later go to others if it’snecessary.

Now what is the heart of Baxter’s behavior? What hasmotivated Baxter to continue in this habit? Is it the Spirit ofChrist living and working within him that calls him to criticizepeople behind their backs? Can’t be the Spirit of Christ. Christhas clearly called for a totally different kind of response. Who,then, might be suggesting this kind of behavior to Baxter? Satan!Satan is actually a Hebrew term that means “adversary” — likethe person who drags you into court and presents a case againstyou in order to get you to pay damages. Satan’s whole point inlife is to get us to buy a different story about ourselves thanthe story that God originally wrote for us when he createdus. Satan’s been doing this since the Garden of Eden — whereGod told Adam and Eve that he would care for them and meet alltheir needs, but Satan told them that what they really needed wasto be like God themselves. In Genesis 3:5, he says, “You will belike God, knowing good and evil.”

Satan’s message has never changed, in all these years.What has Satan whispered to “Behind Your Back” Baxter,without Baxter even realizing it? “You’re like God. What I meanis, you know the difference between good and bad. You know badwhen you see it. Take control of this situation. Exercise a littlepower. Talk to someone about this matter.” And Baxter —feeling totally justified, totally legitimate — talks about thatperson behind their back, thinking only that it will be of ultimatebenefit to the church if this situation is brought to people’sattention, so it can be corrected. It’s about power.

Baxter loves Jesus, but has shunned Jesus’ methods. Andwhen the rumor mill gets going, based on what Baxter has toldthat third party, and people get their feelings hurt, and there’s

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friction between believers, we begin to see why Jesus said toPeter, “Hey, you’re standing between me and the people I wantto be in relationship with. Get behind me. Get out of my way.You don’t even realize it, but you’re listening to Satan’sinstructions, not mine. You don’t realize it, but you’re doing hiswork, not my work.”

Now let’s not pick on poor Baxter exclusively. If I am inevery respect a good Christian boy, but I do have this one littleproblem with supporting God’s work financially — well, ofcourse I’m making a huge contribution in other ways! But whosevoice am I listening to when I rationalize my decision not to giveany of my actual green cash money as the Scriptures clearlyadvise? Is that the Spirit of Christ speaking to me? Can’t be.Jesus has specifically given us very different instructions in hisWord. He’s called me to give cheerfully, generously — not tohoard my money, not to fixate on my possessions, not to trustmyself or my money as the source of my provision, but to trustGod to be my provider, and gladly serve as God’s conduit ofprovision for his work here on earth. It’s not the Spirit of Christwhispering to me, telling me to hang on to my money for dearlife. Satan is whispering to me — and it’s so subtle a whisperthat I don’t even realize it’s his voice. And what is hewhispering? He’s whispering, “You’re like God. What I mean is,you know the difference between good and bad. You know what’ssensible and what’s not. Take control of this situation. Exercise alittle power. Make your own choice about it.” It’s about power.

Or maybe I appear to be an excellent Christian, goodhusband, good father, I’m involved in the life of the church, I’msharing my faith with people on the job or in my neighborhood,I’m giving, etc., etc. — but there’s this one secret little matter ofmy tendency to flirt. To try to solicit a sexual response fromother women from time to time. Maybe I even get away with it.Maybe I can get an inappropriate response from some women.What’s this about? It’s about power. “Psst! Hey, Brendel. You’relike God. Come on, you know the difference between really goodand what’s really bad. You know you can handle and what youcan’t. Take control of this situation. Exercise a little power. It’llfeel good.”

Who’s giving me these ideas? It’s not the Spirit of Christliving and working within me.

No matter what part of my life I’m clinging to, instead of

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submitting to God’s design, it’s about power. I’ve bought intoSatan’s lie about how to look at power — how to define power— how to value power — how to pursue power — how toacquire power — and how to use power.

* * *I also need to understand that the power of Christ living

and working within me is not the power to beat up on people. It’snot the power to win. It’s the power to endure.

You know, really, I want a faith that gives me power.I want the power to overcome obstacles!I want the power to conquer those who oppose the work of

God! I want the power to crush sickness and disease when itattacks people!

I want the power to accumulate great gobs of money for thework of the church, and never have a financial need!

I want the power to overwhelm criticism and bad publicitywhen God’s work gets a bad write-up in Time magazine!

These are all honorable goals, and I want the power tomake them happen! I don’t want any struggling, I don’t want anyconfusion, I don’t want any problems to complicate my life andmy ministry. And look — if I’m following God’s plan, if I’vemade Jesus my Savior and my Lord, then I don’t think I deserveto encounter any struggles or confusion or problems.

But God doesn’t seem to define success and power thesame way I do.

Look at what Jesus says, in his very next breath:Mark 8:34 Then he called the crowd to him along with his

disciples and said: “If anyone would come after me, he mustdeny himself and take up his cross and follow me.

35 For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, butwhoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it.”

This is not exactly “power theology,” is it? This doesn’tseem to square with the idea of Christians taking over the reinsof government and crushing out the opposition. “Denyingmyself” doesn’t have the same feel as trusting God’s power togive me piles of money because Christians should never looklike second-class citizens. Picking up a cross and carrying itdoesn’t sound like the kind of glorious triumphs I want toachieve to show people what a powerful God I serve. “Losingmy life” for the sake of Christ doesn’t sound like much of a

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power trip.But Jesus has the God’s-eye view. He sees life from a

perspective that I don’t naturally share. The way he sees it, I maysucceed in crushing my enemies, I may accumulate great wealth,I may win over my detractors and gain tremendous popularity, Imay score all the babes I want, I may even have a fantasticministry that accomplishes all kinds of great things — but toJesus, I haven’t majored on what’s really important. Here’s howJesus puts it, in the very next line:

Mark 8:36 What good is it for a man to gain the whole world,

yet forfeit his soul?37 Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?This word “soul” is more often translated “life” throughout

the New Testament. Jesus isn’t just talking about getting intoheaven when I die; he’s talking about how I’m going to getthrough next week. How I’m going to deal with my kids, or myparents, or my in-laws, between now and a week from Tuesday.How I’m going to live in community with my fellow believershere at The Compass. He asks, “What good is it for you to gainthe whole world” — what good is it for me to exercise all kindsof social power, emotional power, financial power, politicalpower, power to manipulate people’s opinions, power to get myown way, power to control events and situations — “What goodis all of that if it doesn’t fulfill God’s design for your life, God’sdream for your life?”

He’s saying it’s possible for me to come to the end of mylife and look back over the years and have no choice but toconfront the fact that I did it my way — maybe I accomplished alot, achieved a great deal, by the world’s measuring stick — butI didn’t fulfill my divine potential. I didn’t learn to respond topain and problems in Christlike ways. I didn’t grow healthyrelationships like I could have. I didn’t learn to live in biblicalcommunity with my friends like I could have. I left some peoplehurting because of doing things my own way. I left someproblems festering because of my own quest for certain types ofpower. I left some open wounds because in certain ways, Iinsisted on playing God. I loved God, but I didn’t want to do ithis way.

* * *So what happens if I go this route? Jesus lays out this

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simple formula in the next line, in Mark 8:38: If anyone isashamed of me and my words in this adulterous and sinfulgeneration, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when hecomes in his Father’s glory with the holy angels.”

What does it mean to be “ashamed”? When my neighborcomes and tells me that my kid has been throwing rocks into hisyard, in that moment, I don’t want my kid to be my kid. I wanthim to be somebody else’s kid. I think to myself, “Ugh! Didn’t Iteach this kid better than that? Look how he’s goofing up hisreputation in this neighborhood. Look how he’s complicating ourfamily’s relationship with our neighbors.” But I own up. I say,“Okay, I’m sorry, I’ll take care of it.”

How does Jesus feel about me if I fail to give my life overto God’s design? He’s hurt. He’s ashamed. He doesn’t stop me atthe door of heaven and send me away; he’s promised to keep mysalvation secure, in John 10:27-30. But during this earthly life,to the extent that I’ve gone my own way, I’ve damaged anddiminished my relationship not only with other people but withGod himself.

So at the end of time, when I face eternity, if I’ve gone myown way, Jesus has the same kind of feeling that I have when Ilearn that my kid threw those rocks in the neighbor’s yard: He’sashamed. He thinks to himself, “Ugh! Didn’t I teach this kidbetter than that? Look how he’s diminished his potential foraccomplishing truly valuable things. Look how he complicatedmy relationship with other people during his lifetime. But — hey— he’s mine nonetheless. I’ll own up to him as my kid. I’vealready forgiven him; I’ve already paid the price for him to beredeemed. I love him. I’ll take care of it.”

* * *When I seize control, when I pursue power, I’m actually

chasing an illusion. I’m grasping for a mask to hide my actualweakness. The kind of power I typically grasp for is the kind ofpower that sucks the life out of people — it drains me and itdrains the people around me. And it’s short-term. It doesn’t last.But the kind of power Christ demonstrated — the kind of powerhe wants to give me — is real. It’s eternal. And it’s life-giving. Itempowers me to fulfill the dream that God dreamed when hefirst dreamed me up.

Am I getting in the way of what God wants to accomplishbecause I am clinging to power in some way? Let’s ask the Spirit

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of Christ within us to show us where we’re power-hungry, andhelp us let it go, and turn ourselves completely over to hisleading.

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Notes:

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If you would like to interact personally about your spiritualjourney, please feel free to contact The Compass Fellowship viawww.compassfellowship.org.