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Love, Intimacy & Romance - Treasuring Relationships S. Sandy Sanbar, MD, PhD, JD

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Page 1: Love, Intimacy & Romance · 2018-03-24 · Romantic v. Passionate LOVE Romantic relationship is the peak of love, security, engagement, communication and sexual chemistry. Passionate

Love, Intimacy

& Romance -Treasuring Relationships

S. Sandy Sanbar, MD, PhD, JD

Page 2: Love, Intimacy & Romance · 2018-03-24 · Romantic v. Passionate LOVE Romantic relationship is the peak of love, security, engagement, communication and sexual chemistry. Passionate

Thanks and Gratitude

Smita Das,

MD, PhD, MPH

Secretary

Ashleigh

Servadio, MSC

Exec. Director

Firdouse Huq, MD

President

All NCPS

Council

Members

Page 3: Love, Intimacy & Romance · 2018-03-24 · Romantic v. Passionate LOVE Romantic relationship is the peak of love, security, engagement, communication and sexual chemistry. Passionate

2016

ARCHWAY

PUBLISHING,From

SIMON AND

SCHUSTER

Page 4: Love, Intimacy & Romance · 2018-03-24 · Romantic v. Passionate LOVE Romantic relationship is the peak of love, security, engagement, communication and sexual chemistry. Passionate

January

2018

Amazon

Kindle

Complimentary

Copy

Page 5: Love, Intimacy & Romance · 2018-03-24 · Romantic v. Passionate LOVE Romantic relationship is the peak of love, security, engagement, communication and sexual chemistry. Passionate

Justice Sandra Day O'Connor

Page 6: Love, Intimacy & Romance · 2018-03-24 · Romantic v. Passionate LOVE Romantic relationship is the peak of love, security, engagement, communication and sexual chemistry. Passionate

President Ronald Reagan and

Sandra Day O’Connor

Page 7: Love, Intimacy & Romance · 2018-03-24 · Romantic v. Passionate LOVE Romantic relationship is the peak of love, security, engagement, communication and sexual chemistry. Passionate

Justice O'Connor sworn in by C.

J. Warren Burger in 1981 (John)

Page 8: Love, Intimacy & Romance · 2018-03-24 · Romantic v. Passionate LOVE Romantic relationship is the peak of love, security, engagement, communication and sexual chemistry. Passionate

Justice O'Connor , John with

President George W. Bush, May 2004.

Page 9: Love, Intimacy & Romance · 2018-03-24 · Romantic v. Passionate LOVE Romantic relationship is the peak of love, security, engagement, communication and sexual chemistry. Passionate

Aug. 12, 2009,

President

Barack Obama

presented

Medal of

Freedom at

the WH to

retired

Supreme

Court Justice

Sandra Day

O'Connor

Page 10: Love, Intimacy & Romance · 2018-03-24 · Romantic v. Passionate LOVE Romantic relationship is the peak of love, security, engagement, communication and sexual chemistry. Passionate

Justices O' Connor, Sonia Sotomayor,

Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and Elena Kagan

Page 11: Love, Intimacy & Romance · 2018-03-24 · Romantic v. Passionate LOVE Romantic relationship is the peak of love, security, engagement, communication and sexual chemistry. Passionate

➢ Justice O'Connor and John were

together for 55 years.

➢ Alzheimer’s disease at an early age.

➢ Nursing home LOVE relationship

Page 12: Love, Intimacy & Romance · 2018-03-24 · Romantic v. Passionate LOVE Romantic relationship is the peak of love, security, engagement, communication and sexual chemistry. Passionate

GREEK: Types of

LOVE

1. Storge - Natural affection

2. Philia – Virtuous love

3. Eros – Sexual or

Romantic desire

4. Agape – Divine love

Page 13: Love, Intimacy & Romance · 2018-03-24 · Romantic v. Passionate LOVE Romantic relationship is the peak of love, security, engagement, communication and sexual chemistry. Passionate

CHINESE :

Types of LOVE

Benevolent love –

Confucianism

Universal love –

Mohism

Passionate caring love -

Buddhism

Page 14: Love, Intimacy & Romance · 2018-03-24 · Romantic v. Passionate LOVE Romantic relationship is the peak of love, security, engagement, communication and sexual chemistry. Passionate

Unconditional &

Sacrificial LOVE

1•Talidari

2•Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

3•Carol Mary - ‘Poem’

Page 15: Love, Intimacy & Romance · 2018-03-24 · Romantic v. Passionate LOVE Romantic relationship is the peak of love, security, engagement, communication and sexual chemistry. Passionate

Categories of LOVE

➢Interpersonal Love

➢Unrequited Love

➢Impersonal Love

➢Sexual Fetishism and Paraphilia

➢Erotomania –

‘de Clérambault's syndrome’

Page 16: Love, Intimacy & Romance · 2018-03-24 · Romantic v. Passionate LOVE Romantic relationship is the peak of love, security, engagement, communication and sexual chemistry. Passionate

Marital Forms of LOVE

➢Consummate - ideal kind of love.

➢Companionate - affectionate love,

friendship-based love, or attachment.

➢Sexless Love - where sexual intimacy

occurs fewer than ten times per year.

Page 17: Love, Intimacy & Romance · 2018-03-24 · Romantic v. Passionate LOVE Romantic relationship is the peak of love, security, engagement, communication and sexual chemistry. Passionate

Friendship

1• Aristotle

2• Andrew Sullivan

3

• Mutual self-knowledge and will

Page 18: Love, Intimacy & Romance · 2018-03-24 · Romantic v. Passionate LOVE Romantic relationship is the peak of love, security, engagement, communication and sexual chemistry. Passionate

Love

Triangular Interpretation

1. Passion

2. Intimacy

3. Commitment

Infatuation

Liking someone

Empty love

Fatuous love

Romantic love

Companionate

love

Consummate love

Page 19: Love, Intimacy & Romance · 2018-03-24 · Romantic v. Passionate LOVE Romantic relationship is the peak of love, security, engagement, communication and sexual chemistry. Passionate

Romantic v.

Passionate LOVE➢Romantic relationship is the peak of love,

security, engagement, communication

and sexual chemistry.

➢ Passionate love” has most of the constructive

features as romantic love., plus feelings of

indecisiveness and nervousness.

It is “a state of intense longing for union

with another.”

➢Passionate Love generally fades.

Page 20: Love, Intimacy & Romance · 2018-03-24 · Romantic v. Passionate LOVE Romantic relationship is the peak of love, security, engagement, communication and sexual chemistry. Passionate

Natural Basis of

LOVE

Norepinephrine

Dopamine

Oxytocin and Others

Page 21: Love, Intimacy & Romance · 2018-03-24 · Romantic v. Passionate LOVE Romantic relationship is the peak of love, security, engagement, communication and sexual chemistry. Passionate

LOVE - Inner Peace

1-2

• State of mind

• Simplicity in life

3-4

• Acceptance of others

• Practicing forgiveness

5-6

• Insecurity

• David K. William - Quote

Page 22: Love, Intimacy & Romance · 2018-03-24 · Romantic v. Passionate LOVE Romantic relationship is the peak of love, security, engagement, communication and sexual chemistry. Passionate

LOVE -

Monogamous Relationships

GENETIC SEXUAL

SOCIAL MARITAL

Page 23: Love, Intimacy & Romance · 2018-03-24 · Romantic v. Passionate LOVE Romantic relationship is the peak of love, security, engagement, communication and sexual chemistry. Passionate

LOVE - Polyamory Consensual Non-Monogamous (CNM)

relationships

2013, Tammy Nelson, “The New Monogamy:

Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity”

Polyamory Relationships

◦ Gender equality

◦ Hierarchal Polyamorous Relationships

◦ Open or Close Polyamorous Relationships

◦ Solo polyamory

Page 24: Love, Intimacy & Romance · 2018-03-24 · Romantic v. Passionate LOVE Romantic relationship is the peak of love, security, engagement, communication and sexual chemistry. Passionate

More About Polyamory

➢PolyamoryValues

➢Shortcomings of Polyamory

➢Benefits

➢Religion and Polyamory

➢Legal Aspects of Polyamory

➢Statistical Overview of Polyamory

Page 25: Love, Intimacy & Romance · 2018-03-24 · Romantic v. Passionate LOVE Romantic relationship is the peak of love, security, engagement, communication and sexual chemistry. Passionate

Termination of LOVE

Termination of Love

Intrapsychic phase

Dyadic phase

Social phase

Grave-dressing phase

Ways of Ending a Relationship

Second Marriages

Reconciliation

Page 26: Love, Intimacy & Romance · 2018-03-24 · Romantic v. Passionate LOVE Romantic relationship is the peak of love, security, engagement, communication and sexual chemistry. Passionate

LOVE in Alzheimer’s

Capacity to Consent

Right to decide

Sexual Power of Attorney

Distinguish Sexual Pleasure v.

Abuse

Sexuality and Dementia in Nursing

Homes

Page 27: Love, Intimacy & Romance · 2018-03-24 · Romantic v. Passionate LOVE Romantic relationship is the peak of love, security, engagement, communication and sexual chemistry. Passionate

Capacity v. Competency

in Dementia

Capacity v. Competency

Alternate Decision Makers

Capacity and Dementia

Assessment of Capacity

Assessment Tools

Continuation of Assessment of Capacity

to Consent

Page 28: Love, Intimacy & Romance · 2018-03-24 · Romantic v. Passionate LOVE Romantic relationship is the peak of love, security, engagement, communication and sexual chemistry. Passionate

Do what makes YOU

HAPPY

Be with who makes YOU

SMILE

LAUGH as much as

BREATHE

LOVE as long as you LIVE

Remember