loving & liking
DESCRIPTION
LOVING & LIKING. THEORIES OF LOVE. STYLES OF LOVE (Lee) Primary Styles Love of Beauty Playful Love Companionate Love. OTHER STYLES WHICH COMBINE PRIMARY STYLES Obsessive Love Realistic Love IS IT REALLY A LOVE STYLE OR AN IDEAL? Altruistic Love. TRIANGULAR THEORY OF LOVE (Sternberg). - PowerPoint PPT PresentationTRANSCRIPT
LOVING & LIKING
THEORIES OF LOVE
STYLES OF LOVE (Lee)– Primary Styles
• Love of Beauty
• Playful Love
• Companionate Love
OTHER STYLES WHICH COMBINE PRIMARY STYLES– Obsessive Love– Realistic Love
IS IT REALLY A LOVE STYLE OR AN IDEAL?– Altruistic Love
TRIANGULAR THEORY OF LOVE (Sternberg)
TRIANGULAR THEORY COMPONENTS:– Intimacy– Passion– Commitment
DISTINGUISHING LIKING AND LOVING
PASSION VS. REWARDS (Berscheid & Walster)
FRIENDSHIP VS. LOVE (Davis & Todd) LIKE, LOVE, IN LOVE (Lamm &
Wiesmann)
“CLOSENESS” IN RELATIONSHIPS
FEHR’S RESEARCH– Trust– Caring– Honesty– Friendship– Respect
MAXWELL’S RESEARCH– Separation Distress– Sharing of Attitudes, Values, Interests– Naturalness– Similarity– Following (Seeking out and spending time
with)– Giving and Receiving Help– Communicating About Important Issues
ATTACHMENT STYLES
SECURE AVOIDANT ANXIOUS/AMBIVALENT
CONCLUSIONS FROM STUDIES OF LIKING & LOVING
LIKING AND LOVING DIFFER– In Degree - Shared Characteristics Vary In Intensity– In Kind - Have Different Characteristics– Over Time
EMOTIONAL INTENSITY IS USUALLY GREATER FOR LOVE RELATIONSHIPS --ESPECIALLY WHEN THERE ARE PERCEIVED THREATS TO THE RELATIONSHIP
PASSION & PHYSIOLOGICAL AROUSAL IS A PRIMARY DISTINGUISHING CHARACTERISTIC OF EARLY ROMANTIC LOVE
LIKING & LOVING SOMETIMES OVERLAP (E.g. Friendship Component of Love) BUT MAY NOT
LONG LASTING ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS LIKELY TO HAVE A STRONG FRIENDSHIP COMPONENT TO THEM
CHARACTERISTICS OF CLOSENESS ARE MORE LIKELY TO CUT ACROSS MANY TYPES OF LIKING AND LOVING RELATIONSHIPS
COMMUNICATING CLOSENESS
DIFFICULTY NOT SURPRISING – Overlap of features in various types of intimate
relationships– Multiplicity of terms used– Potentially ambiguous referents
AMBIGUITY INHERENT IN DIALOGUE ABOUT INTIMACY CAN BE USEFUL OR PROBLEMATIC
SOMETIMES PEOPLE ASSOCIATE DIFFERENT TYPES OF BEHAVIOR WITH PARTICULAR TYPES OF INTIMACY--E.g.,– Husband: “I work late because I love you.”– Wife: “You work late because you don’t care
about our relationship.”
SOMETIMES PEOPLE AGREE ON THE TYPE OF BEHAVIOR WHICH CHARACTERIZES A CLOSE RELTIONSHIP, BUT THAT BEHAVIOR IS DESTRUCTIVE--E.g.,– Husband: “You make and serve me a lot of rich
food because you love me.”– Wife: “I agree.”