Managing Conflict at Work

Vicki Stasch, M.S, Management ConsultantVickistasch@comcast.net www.Vickistasch.com

559.288.5044 360.588.4924

Over 30 years as a facilitator for team building, strategic planning, leadership development and other work to create positive work environments

Facilitator for year-long leadership development programs in California and Whatcom County

Clients include state and local government, non profits, businesses, health care

Education: B.A. University of Washington, M.S. from University of San Francisco

Hobbies and interests: rowing, bicycling, tap dancing, Rotary International, environmental issues and others

Vicki’s Background

Overview of Conflict and Management Principles

Methods for handing conflictSpecific steps to followOpportunity to develop a strategy to handle a current conflict

Agenda

DangerOpportunitySomething to avoidSomething else

How do you see conflict

Conflict is when a least one person (group) is being blocked or feels he or she is being blocked from doing or getting something they want.

Definition of conflict?

Misunderstanding- lack of role clarityPersonality clashes- not liking another person

Competition for resources ($, people, time)

Authority issues Lack of cooperationDifferences over methods or styleLow performanceValue or goal differencesOthers_________________________

Causes of Conflict

What types of conflict challenges you the most at work?

What are the route causes?

My greatest conflict challenge at work

A. I like to win-I am competitiveB. I tend to avoid difficult conflicts

C. I tend to choose my battles and may give in

D. I strive to reach a compromise if possible

My personal tendency in managing conflict

Ignoring things that bother you is shown in your body language and voice tone.

Control your response. Count to 10 or walk away until you cool down.

Talk or write to the person asking for a time to meet

If someone approaches you with a problem, be willing to work on it

If “A” complains about “B” who is not present, encourage “A” to go directly to ”B”. Do not spread the message

If you try working on the issues with no resolution seek a third party facilitator

Basic Principles

Remember, on a bad day you are almost never alone!

Close your eyes and smile at least once a day!

1) Change/confusion/tension: best time to address conflict unless we avoid or say “not a big deal”

2) Role dilemma: Questions about what’s going on, begin the blame game

3) Injustices collecting: collect injustices, negative energy. Injustice takes place of original confusion

4) Confrontation: at unexpected time; judging or condemning the other rather than focusing on the issue

5) Adjustments: distance ourselves (psychologically or physically). Continued accommodation or dominance

Levels of Conflict

Is this a real problem or are you having a bad hair day

Identify the real issue, not symptoms or personalities

Be prepared to work toward a “win-win” not “winning”

Use Covey’s “Seek First to Understand then to be Understood” method

Prepare Yourself

Having a bad hair

day?

#1: One person holds power over the other and tells the solution

#2: Arbitration: Third party solution, like judge in a courtroom or a policy manual

#3: Mediation: two people resolve with a third party facilitator

#4: Cooperative: Two people resolve together

Options for Handling Conflict(see the yellow cards)

A. An employee is perpetually late for work. After several discussions, the supervisor tell the employee “one more time and you are fired”

B. Two workers cannot agree on an assignment and ask their supervisor to clarify it with them

C. Two co workers agree to go to lunch with each desiring different food. They decide to go to restaurant A this week and B next week.

D. Two managers disagree over how the sexual harassment policy should be applied. They ask HR for clarification and read the company policy manual.

Which method-1,2,3 or 4

Listening attentively◦Paraphrasing◦Openness◦Stating agreement

Speaking assertively◦“I” messages◦Stating preferences

Skills needed to practice cooperative Conflict Resolution

Write or envision a few words that describe a conflict that is bothering you.

Determine which of the methods 1,2,3,or 4 is appropriate.

Develop a strategy including the words you will use to address the conflict after we review the recommended steps.

Conflict Activity

Describe the conflict: ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Which strategy- 1,2,3,or 4 is most appropriate_______________________

Conflict

Looks like we have a problem (rather than “you” have a problem).

I’d like to resolve this problem using method #4 (show the 4 methods).

Do you wish to start, do you wish me to start or should we toss a coin?

When someone complains about another “Is this a problem you would like to get resolved” then offer to facilitate.

Helpful phrases to use

1) Invitation: Is each person willing to work fairly and cooperatively using the steps below following options #3 or #4? ( If not, should #1 or # 2 be used?)

Mediated or cooperative conflict process

2) Basic rules: ◦Allow (name of person) to lead the process

◦Listen without interrupting◦Be honest as you can◦No name calling or profanity◦Be willing to summarize◦If process seems unfair, say so

Person A: Describe how you experienced the problem, conflict or injustice.Person B: summarizes (“you said that…..?”

Person B: Describe how you experienced the problem, conflict or injustice

Person A : summarizes (“you said that….?)

Have the experiences been recognized? If not repeat

3) Describe/Summarize and Recognize

◦4) Seek agreements that:Restore equity: How can you make things as right as possible now?”

Clarify future: “ How can you prevent this from happening again?”

◦5) Summarize agreement and congratulate: Write an agreement, give copy to each person and congratulate. Set follow-up meeting. If no agreement return to step #1

◦6) Follow up: Are agreements being kept? If yes, celebrate. If not, repeat process.

Describe the conflict from early in presentation: ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Describe the method you will use to seek resolution _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Conflict

R espect the right to disagree E xpress your real concerns S hare common goals and interests O pen yourself to different points of view L isten carefully to all proposals U nderstand the major issues T hink about probable consequences I magine several possible alternative

solutions O ffer some reasonable compromise N egotiate mutually fair cooperative

agreements

Peace and Conflict Resolution Formula(by Robert Vallet)

Thank You and Have a Great Day

Vicki Stasch