managing difficult conflicts
TRANSCRIPT
8/8/2019 Managing Difficult Conflicts
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Parties often become angry in disputes
because:
They are frustrated with not being able to get
what they want. They see that the other party has different
interests than they do.
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© SHRM 2010
Anger in Disputes
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Positive Effects of Anger
Indicates to the other person that the issue is
very important.
Indicates to the other person that you are less
likely to make concessions.
May induce the other party to yield when theyare in a weaker position.
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Conflict Spirals
Conflict spirals:> When parties engage in repeated contentious
communications with each other.
Problems:
> Tend to induce reciprocating contentiouscommunications from the other party.
> Have momentum that is difficult to stop.
Outcomes:
> Impasse.> Settlements tend to be more one-sided, with
the more powerful party winning.
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Norm of Reciprocity
People tend to reciprocate similarly:
Contentious behavior with contentious behavior
(e.g., threats).
Integrative behaviors with integrative behaviors(e.g., ³How can we both get something out of
this?´).
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Avoiding and Ending Conflict Spirals
Don¶t reciprocate> Can break the spiral.
> May, however, erroneously signal aweakness or willingness to concede.
GRIT (Graduated and ReciprocatedInitiatives in Tension reduction)
> Make and request small steps to reducetensions.
> Requires reciprocity.
Mixed communications
> Avoids sending weakness signals.
Restrict precedents
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Graduated and Reciprocated Initiatives in Tension
Reduction (GRIT)
One party initiates de-escalation by:
> Announcing a concession.
> Explaining that the concession is part of a
strategy to reduce escalation.
> Unilaterally executing the concession.
Creates an opportunity for and expectation
that the opponent will reciprocate with a
concession.
> Problem: They may just take the concessionand not reciprocate.
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Sometimes it¶s best to mix a contentiousstatement with a conciliatory statement.
Examples:
Contentious: Party 1 states, ³If you persist inthese demands, we¶d prefer to see you in court,
where we expect the judge to find in our favor.´
Mixed: Party 2 responds, ³We are prepared tolet a judge decide, but we think that we will both
be better off if we reach an agreement based
on our interests. Tell me again what your
software needs are.´9
© SHRM 2010
Mixed Communications
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Labeling the Process
Sometimes, ³labeling´ the process is helpful.
It changes the focus to the negotiation process
instead of on the parties¶ positions.
Examples of labeling the process that you¶vebeen following as ineffective:
> ³We seem to be going back and forth and
getting nowhere.´
> ³We¶re not going to settle things this way.
Let¶s focus on how we can go about settling
the problem.´
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By restricting the degree to which a settlementmay set a precedent, the stakes are lower and
the parties may be more willing to reach an
agreement.
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© SHRM 2010
Restrict Precedents
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Summary
Sometimes conflicts are particularly difficult to
resolve.
A common reason is that anger interferes with
rational thinking and behaviors.
Often, conflict spirals develop in which theconflict gets worse.
There are several methods for managing
difficult conflicts, managing emotions, and
reducing the tensions that result from conflict
spirals.
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