managing troubled and troubling students in crisis

John H. Faust and Ed O'Connor 1

Managing Troubled and Troubling Students in Crisis

The Circle of Courage and Life Space Crisis Intervention (LSCI)



Students seldom assume responsibility for changing their own behavior (as opposed to relying on outside authority and control for

behavioral change) until they are psychologically empowered to make changes about their

behavioral alternatives and are ready to accept the consequences of these choices.

Nicholas Long, Mary Wood, Frank Fecser (2001)



The Foundation – Core Values

1. Belonging

2. Mastery

3. Independence

4. Generosity


The circle is a sacred symbol of life…Individual parts within the circle connect with every other part; and what happens to

one, or what one part does, affects all within the circleVirginia Driving Hawk Sneve

Every child needs someone that is irrationally crazy about them.

Uri Bronfenbrenner

We can either smother the divine fire of youth, or we may feed it.

Jane Addams

Discouragement is courage denied. When the circle of courage is broken, the lives of our children are no longer in harmony and balance.

Brendtro, Brokenleg, & Van Bockern

Belonging With opportunity for attachment a child learns, “I

can trust.”

“Be related, somehow, to everyone you know.” – Ella Deloria

Ultimate test of kinship is behavior, not blood: you belong if you act like you belong

Treating others as related is a powerful social value that can transform human relationships

Drawing other’s into one’s circle provides motivation to show respect and concern



Belonging

Normal Distorted Absent

Attached Gang Loyalty Unattached

Loving Craves Affection Guarded

Friendly Craves Acceptance Rejected

Intimate Promiscuous Lonely

Gregarious Clinging Aloof

Cooperative Easily Misled Isolated

Trusting Overly Dependent Distrustful

Mastery


With an opportunity for achievement, a child learns, “I have talent.”

Children and adults strive for mastery of their environments – Competence Motivation

When need for competence is satisfied, motivation for further achievement is enhanced

When deprived of opportunities for success, young people express their frustration through troubled behavior or by retreating in helplessness and inferiority

Cognitive, physical, social, and spiritual competencies


Mastery


Achiever Overachiever Non-achiever

Successful Arrogant Failure oriented

Creative Risk-seeker Avoids risks

Problem-solver Cheater Fears challenges

Motivated Workaholic Unmotivated

Persistent Compulsive Gives up easily

Competent Delinquent skill Inadequate

Independence


With an opportunity for autonomy, a child learns, “I have power.”

We are not free. We do not make choices. Our choices are made for us. – Clyde Warrior

Without a sense of autonomy, we see ourselves as pawns in a world where others control our destiny.

Children who lack a sense of power over their behavior and environment are developmental causalities who have been labeled as: learned helplessness, absence of an internal locus of control, and/or lack of intrinsic motivation

These youth are often scarred by alienation and school failure, and often seek alternative sources of power through chemicals or membership in a youth counterculture.

Purpose of external discipline is to build internal discipline

Grounding assumption is that all persons have the right to control their own destiny and the belief that children will respond to positive nurturance and cannot be made responsible by imposing our own will upon them


Independence


Autonomous Dictatorial Submissive

Confident Reckless/Macho Lacks confidence

Assertive Bullies others Inferiority

Responsible Power struggles Irresponsible

Inner control Manipulative Helplessness

Self-discipline Rebellious Undisciplined

Leadership Defies authority Easily Led

Generosity


With an opportunity for altruism, a child learns, “My life has purpose.”

Grandma said when you come on something good, first thing to do is share it with whoever you can find; that way, the good spreads out where no telling it will go. – Little Tree

Troubled young people increase their sense of self-worth as they become committed to the positive value of caring for others. (Brendtro & Ness)

Helping others improves self-esteem, and increased self-esteem allows young people to “de-center” and contribute to others. (Elkind)

Altruism is the ultimate resource for coping with life’s conflicts, for in reaching out to help one another, one breaks free from preoccupation with the self. (Selye)


Generosity


Altruistic Noblesse Oblige Selfishness

Caring Indulgent Affectionless

Sharing Plays Martyr Narcissistic

Loyal Co-dependent Disloyal

Empathic Over-involved Hardened

Pro-social Servitude Antisocial

Supportive Bondage Exploitative


“What began as a quest to understand the extraordinary has revealed the power of the

ordinary. Resilience does not come from rare and special qualities, but from the everyday magic of ordinary, normative

human resources in the minds, brains, and bodies of children, in their families, and relationships, and in their communities”

Ann Masten

Resiliency


Our findings…investigators with a life-span perspective suggest that these buffers [protective factors] make a more profound impact on the life course of children

who grow up under adverse conditions than do specific risk factors or life events. They [also] appear

to transcend ethnic, social, class, geographical, and historical boundaries. Most of all, they offer us a

more optimistic outlook than the perspective that can be gleaned from the literature on the negative

consequences of perinatal trauma, care giving deficits, and chronic poverty.

Werner & Smith (1992)

Resilience Outcomes: Personal Strengths


Personal strengths or manifestations of resilience:

1.Social competence

2.Problem-solving

3.Autonomy

4.Sense of Purpose

Fostering Resiliency in Kids (Bonnie Benard, 1991)

Personal Strengths: Social Competence


Includes characteristics, skills, and attitudes essential to forming relationships and positive attachments to others

ComponentsResponsiveness

Communication

Empathy and caring

Compassion, altruism, and forgiveness

Personal Strengths: Problem-solving Skills


Problem-solving skills encompass many abilities from planning and flexibility through resourcefulness, critical thinking, and insight. The glue that connects these and holds them together is a “figuring things out” quality

ComponentsPlanning

Flexibility

Resourcefulness

Critical thinking and insight

Insight


“In my own life, although my mother kept telling me that my brother was the smart one in the family, my teachers reflected back another image of myself. Where my mother was rejecting, they were kind and accepting; where she told me I wasn’t smart, they let me know I was. It didn’t take the sting of my mother’s rejection away, but it did open up the possibility of another way of seeing myself that I could take comfort in.”

Lillian Rubin

Personal Strengths: Autonomy


Autonomy involves an ability to act independently and to feel a sense of control over one’s environment. Deci and Ryan documented autonomy as the critical personal strength underlying other strengths and intrinsic motivation. They state that feelings of competence in any skill or task will not enhance intrinsic motivation unless accompanied by a sense of autonomy.

To be autonomous means to act in accord with one’s self – it means feeling free and volitional in one’s actions. When autonomous, people are fully willing to do what they are doing, and they embrace the activity with a sense of interest and commitment. Their actions emanate from a true sense of self.

Personal Strengths: Autonomy


ComponentsPositive identity

Internal locus of control and initiative

Self-efficacy and mastery

Adaptive distancing and resistance

Self-awareness and mindfulness

Humor

Personal Strengths: Sense of Purpose


This category ranges from goal direction to optimism to creativity to a sense of meaning and coherence – the deep belief that one’s life has meaning and that one has a place in the universe

ComponentsGoal direction, achievement motivation, and educational aspirations

Special interests, creativity, and imagination

Optimism and hope

Faith, spirituality, and sense of meaning

Personal StrengthsSocial

CompetenceProblem-solving Autonomy Sense of Purpose

Responsiveness Planning Positive identity Goal direction, achievement motivation, and educational aspirations

Communication Flexibility Internal locus of control and initiative

Special interest, creativity, imagination

Empathy/caring Resourcefulness Self-efficacy and mastery

Optimism and hope

Compassion, altruism, forgiveness

Critical thinking and insight

Adaptive distancing and resistance

Faith, spirituality, and a sense of meaning

Self-awareness and mindfulness

Humor


A Perspective on Strengths #1


A language of strengths is required in strength-based approaches because personal strength emerges from family, school, and community working together

A language of strengths helps practitioners and parents begin to look for and find strengths in their young people and then to name and reflect back to youth the strengths they have witnessed

This is a critical component of strength-based practice

A Language of Strengths…


Positive, strength-based language helps parents, teachers, and other caregivers start to reframe how they see their young people, to begin to shift from seeing only risk to also seeing the incredible resilience of young people, especially those facing a whole range of challenges

Is it possible to reframe “at-risk” to “at-promise”?

Researchers and practitioners must have a language for the human qualities that far too often remain invisible, unrecognized, unnamed, and unacknowledged



Strengths are not fixed personality traits

Resilience perspective acknowledges the dynamic, adaptational quality of resilience strengths, recognizing that they are not fixed personality characteristics that one either has or does not have

Viewing resilience not as a fixed trait but as dynamic and contextual process, recognizes that these internal “assets” can also be deficits if they are out of balance



Contrary to common misunderstanding, strengths are not special qualities that cause resilience

Research suggests that human beings are biologically prepared to develop these strengths and to use them for survival (Watson & Ecken, 2003)

Human beings are intrinsically motivated to meet basic psychological needs, including needs for belonging and affiliation, a sense of competence, feelings of autonomy, safety, and meaning

All human beings are compelled to meet these needs throughout the lifespan



Because strengths are dynamic, contextual, and culturally expressed, and arise from our intrinsic motivation to meet basic psychological needs, they are not learned for the most part or in a lasting way, through a social skills program or a life skills curriculum that attempts to directly teach them


Were we to work with children and youth from a developmental perspective, we would understand that the

deeper issue when a child doesn’t express these critical skills – let’s say for empathy – is not that the child has no drive to be empathic, it’s that in the child’s environment,

expression of empathy is not valued and models of empathy are absent. If we truly want youth to develop their propensity to behave with empathy, then we must

have people who model empathy and who create a climate in which empathy is the norm. If we want youth to have

good problem-solving and decision-making skills, then we must provide them with opportunities to actively engage in

problem-solving and to make real and valued decisions about things they care about.

Bonnie Bernard


Adults who are respectful of children are not just modeling a skill or behavior, they are

meeting the emotional needs of those children, thereby helping to create the

psychological conditions for children to treat others respectfully.

(Kohn, 1997; Watson & Ecken, 2003).


Empowerment and Self-regulationEmerge from:

Understanding people and events in their environment Acknowledgement of the part personal behavior and feelings contribute Awareness of reactions of others Social perception about the sequence of consequences that follow Recognition of alternatives that can modify a chain of events

Motivation to change unpleasant circumstances Desire to improve existing conditions Belief that change for the better is possible Sufficient self-esteem to believe that improvement is deserved Confident to try something different

Trust in adults Confidence in adults’ respect for students’ feelings Conviction that adults value students Belief that adults recognize students’ attributes Belief that adults use power and authority wisely Confidence that adults can solve problems in satisfactory ways Willingness to accept adult guidance


Sacred Cows1. Punishment…fallacious

assumptions Teaches challenging youth an

appropriate way of behaving. Teaches youth that their internal

feelings, attitudes, and beliefs drive their behavioral choices

Making youth suffer, feel bad about themselves, or manipulate through short-term material reinforcers creates responsibility, a sense of purpose and hope, and a contributing member of the community.


Punishment is highly overrated and unlikely to result in meaningful growth and change,

especially for troubled youth.Mark Freado – 2006

When behavior problems persist despite efforts at intervention, a sensible solution would

seem to be to discard the intervention instead of the student.

Nicholas Long, Mary Wood, Frank Fecser – 2001


Sacred Cows2. Overly prescriptive or rigid systems of

discipline School wide policies and procedures that invest precious

human and material resources on reaction and intervention rather than pro-action and prevention.

Practicing strategies that many times are punitive and disrespectful, that rely on taking something away while employing humiliation and exclusion.

Fostering an obedience-oriented ethos that stresses arbitrarily developed and adopted rules of behavior is fueled by fear and reward and teaches students to be responsive to the most persuasive voice (antithesis of critical and creative thinking).


Challenging behaviors of all kinds derive from unmet needs, most

prominently the Circle of Courage needs for belonging, mastery, independence, and generosity.

Brendtro, Brokenleg, & Van Bockern, 2002


The use of consequences and the development of behavior plans that focus only on stopping the behavior may be

effective in the short term, but they are not an invitation to the type of growth that connotes student self-discipline,

responsibility, and the building of a sense of community.Jones & Jones, 1998

If whipping or sympathy were all that was required, these kids would have been cured long ago.

Brendtro & Long, 2005

If what we are doing for children is so good for them, why do they fight us so much?

Roderick Durkin, 1998


The Reclaiming Environment

To be reclaimed is to be restored to value, to experience attachment, achievement,

autonomy, and altruism – the four well-springs of courage.

Brendtro, Brokenleg, & Van Bockern


We fail to see the child, just as one time we were unable to see the woman, the peasant, the oppressed

social strata and oppressed peoples. We have arranged things for ourselves so that children

should be in our way as little as possible…A child’s primary and irrefutable right is the right to voice his

thoughts, to actively participate in our verdicts concerning him.

Janusz Korczak (1967)


Belonging – Strategies

1. Relationship is an action, not a feeling2. Crisis is opportunity3. Loving the unlovable *4. Disengaging from the conflict cycle5. Earning the trust of youth6. Relationship building is an endurance event7. Conducting therapy on the hoof8. Respect begets respect9. Teaching joy10. The invitation to belong


Mastery – Strategies for Brain-friendly Learning

Practices that encourage/discourage achievement motivation (McClelland)

1. Adult Domination When adults prescribe what a youth is to do and how it is to be done, the child may

remain dependent and does not learn to set and pursue personal goals

2. Obedience Adults who stress obedience and conformity in order to develop polite and

manageable children inadvertently lower achievement motivation

3. Affection Adult expressions of genuine interest, pleasure, and affection can increase

measured achievement

4. Expectations Low expectations and over-indulgence both lower achievement, while

realistic challenges with a high ratio of success to failure raises motivation5. Independence

Autonomy must be planfully nourished from early childhood, but aloof adults who “push the child from the nest” too early do not foster achievement


Mastery – Strategies for Brain-friendly Learning

1. Brain-friendly learning is pattern making

2. Brain-friendly learning is non-threatening

3. Brain-friendly learning is experiential

4. Brain-friendly learning is social


Independence – Discipline for Responsibility

Obedience is demanded to achieve a person with discipline. But this is a discipline that comes from the

outside and works only when one is afraid of someone who is stronger than oneself. We do need

discipline, an inner discipline to order our life. What is inner discipline? To my thinking it is the opposite

of blind obedience. It is the development of a sense of values.

Gisela Konopka


Independence – Resilient Youth

Resilient Youth…..Build bonds with adults and peers based on care and

mutual concernThinks for him/herself and can solve problems creativelyCan tolerate frustration and manage emotionsAvoids making other people’s problems one’s ownShows optimism and persistence in the face of failureResists being put down and sheds negative labelsHas a sense of humor and can “forgive and forget”


Independence – Instilling Responsible Freedom

1. Discipline replaces punishment

2. Demanding greatness instead of obedience

3. Making caring fashionable

4. Tapping the spirit of adventure

5. Mobilizing the power of peers


Generosity – The Courage to Care

1. Pseudo-altruism Used to gain rewards or avoid punishment Seeking personal gain Wishing to avoid shame or guilt Reduce feelings of distress

2. Genuine altruism Evoked by empathy with another person Empathy allows one to understand the perspective of another Empathy motivates helping behavior Empathy is the linchpin in the concept of altruism


Generosity – Pseudo Altruism vs. Genuine Altruism

If we seek to be loved – if we expect to be loved – this cannot be accomplished; we will be

dependent and grasping, not genuinely loving. But when we nurture ourselves and others

without a primary concern of finding reward, then we will have become lovable, and the reward of being loved, which we have not

sought, will find us.

M. Scott Peck (1978)


Generosity – A Curriculum for Caring

Young people must be empowered to care and contribute to the betterment of their families, friends, schools, and communities

Service learning Motivates youth who are bored with school by linking academic

learning with real human needs Increases achievement of youth who work as volunteer peer tutors Increases problem-solving abilities of youth Develops more complex patterns of thinking


Four Ways to Make a Difference

1. Relationships

2. Advocacy

3. Discretion

4. Courage


Life Space Crisis Intervention

Life space crisis intervention is a therapeutic, verbal strategy for

intervention with students in crisis. It is conducted at the time the crisis occurs or as soon after as possible.


A therapeutic skill which enables us to make the best out of stressful student incident when we get the

worst of it.



The skill of processing a student’s verbal abuse, distorted thinking, and defensive statements without losing

one’s professional direction, temper, and self-confidence.



The skills of Life Space Crisis Intervention are important because the acts of violence by children and

youth are not by appointments.




The process of LSCI uses students’ reactions to stressful events to:

a) Change behavior

b) Enhance self-esteem

c) Reduce anxiety

d) Expand understanding and insight into their own and others’ behavior and feelings


Foundational Skills of LSCI

1. Understanding differences in psychological worlds

2. Understanding the dynamics of the Conflict Cycle

3. Developing Interviewing Skillsa) Attendingb) Listeningc) Respondingd) Decoding


Perception is Reality

Difference in Psychological Worlds Between a Student in Stress and a

Helping Staff

Ψ Staff Reactions(Effective Reactions)

Student Reactions(Ineffective Reactions)

Perceiving DiverseMultidimensional

ConcreteOne Dimensional

Thinking LogicalCognitively-based

IllogicalOmnipotentIrrationalFatalistic

Feeling Accepts and Controls FloodedExplosive

Behaving Accepts Responsibility for Behavior

Does not Accept Responsibility for

Behavior


As perceived threat

increases, one’s ability

to think rationally decreases.


Four Types of Stress


1. Developmental

2. Psychological

3. Reality

4. Physical

“People are disturbed not by things, but by the views which they take of them”

Epictetus

1st Century A.D.John H. Faust and Ed O'Connor 58


What kids believe about themselves is more important in determining behavior than any facts about them


Common Irrational Beliefs of Children

I must be good at everything I do Everyone must like me If people do things I don’t like, they have to be bad people

and they must be punished Everything must go my way all the time I never have any control over what happens to me in my life I should never have to wait for anything that I want When something bad happens to me I must never forget it

and I must think about it all the time I should never have to do anything I don’t want to do


Common Stress Producing Situations in a Classroom Not understanding the teacher’s directions Not understanding the content of the assignment Boredom Failing an exam Not having requisite materials Expectations beyond ability Personal put-downs by peers (teasing) Personal rejection or scapegoating by peers Personal attack Being blamed for something you did not do Not being called on, chosen for a game, and the like Not having enough time to finish the assignment Too tired physically to concentrate on an assignment Too emotionally conflicted by “home problems” to concentrate Group pressure to conform Sexual attraction Unrealistic standards held by the student

Five Cognitive Traps

Mental Filter

Discounting the Positive

Jumping to Conclusions

Emotional Reasoning

“Should Statements”


Seven Defense Mechanisms

1) Denial

2) Rationalization

3) Projection

4) Displacement

5) Sublimation

6) Conversion

7) Regression


Student Behavior

1) Difficulty with Authorities

2) Difficulty with Peers

3) Difficulty with Learning

4) Difficulty with Rules


Three Choices in Managing Personal Feelings

Act them out

Deny and defend

Accept and own


The problems kids cause are not the causes of their problems



The Conflict Cycle


Escalating the Conflict Cycle – “You” Messages Can’t you do anything right? With your attitude you’ll never amount to anything You apologize immediately! Don’t you dare use that language with me! Why do you have to be so disgusting? You better start acting your age! You have no respect for anything or anyone! You don’t listen to anyone, do you? You are a disappointment to me, your friends, and your

family You just never use your head You’re more trouble than you’re worth


The Importance of “I” Messages Instead of “You” Messages

“I” messages are…Less likely to provoke more aggressionLess threatening to othersA model of honest exchange between peopleLikely to open up communicationHelpful in interrupting a power struggleHelpful in releasing adult stress in a healthy way


Three Possible Outcomes of a Crisis

The student/staff relationship is:

1. Damaged

2. Unchanged

3. Improved


Breaking the Conflict CycleOne must remember:

1. Conflict is a natural and inevitable part of the student’s life

2. Conflict is neither good nor bad, but a function of the student’s perceptions and thoughts

3. A student in conflict is his/her own worst enemy and will defend, deny, blame, rationalize, and regress from owning or having responsibility for his/her behavior

4. A student in conflict can create in others (adults) his/her feelings, and if staff are not trained, he/she may mirror the student’s behavior

5. If an adult get’s caught up in the student’s conflict cycle, the struggle escalates into a no-win situation for both the adult and the student


Changing Cycle of Conflict to Cycle of Coping

Knowledge of the Conflict Cycle:1. Raises our awareness about conflict – forewarned is forearmed

2. Enables us to accept and own our counter-aggressive feelings toward the student

3. Enables us to gain personal insight into our own feelings by acknowledging the counter-aggressive feeling, but not engaging in counter-aggressive behavior

4. Enables us to choose not to engage in a power struggle with the student; to make a conscious choice: “I will not fight with you.”

5. Enables us to stop all “you” messages which escalates conflict

6. Enables us to use “I” messages as a means of expressing our feelings while reducing the pressure of our own “Double Struggle”: to control our feelings while also managing the student’s behavior.


Changing Cycle of Conflict to Cycle of Coping

Knowledge of the Conflict Cycle:7. Helps us focus our energies on what a student needs

instead of what we are feeling; to recognize that feelings are not a cognitive function and should not be used to determine what is helpful to a student

8. Enables us to decode a student’s behavior into his/her feelings

9. Enables us to help the student make the connection between his behavior, his feelings, and the original stressful event

10. Enables us to help the student focus on managing stress, coping skills, the here and now, personal responsibility, and self-worth.


Decisions When Dealing with a Youth in Conflict

1. Will the student best benefit from short-term intervention to quickly return to the ongoing program? Or...

2. Is the event (behavior) so characteristic of the student’s repetitive patterns of perceiving, thinking, feeling, and behaving that LSCI is required to maximize potential insight.


Short-term Interventions…AKA…Surface Management Techniques

1. Planned ignoring2. Proximity control3. Signal interference4. Interest boosting5. Support from routine6. Support from restructuring7. Direct appeal to values8. Support through humor9. Antiseptic bouncing


Emotional First Aid

Students in a crisis may need immediate help and support when their defenses become ineffective and they are overwhelmed by feelings and demands of crisis

Flooding emotions distort reality perceptions and dominate behavior

When behavior is driven by intense feelings, the student is not responsive to rational thinking or talking

A student in this condition is not ready for LSCIEmotional First Aid is needed


Emotional First Aid

Emotional first aid is used to reduce emotional intensity to a point that the student can participate in a dialogue

Process requires a shift from behavioral expressions of feelings to rational use of words

Emotional fist aid conveys that the student can count on the adult’s help and support in resolving the crisis


Emotional First Aid – Tools

1. Drain Off Emotional Intensity

2. Support a Student Engulfed in Intense Emotion

3. Maintain Communication When Relationships are Breaking Down

4. Regulate Social Behavior

5. Act as an Umpire


Drain Off Emotional Intensity

Helps students manage frustration or anger by reducing the amount of emotion injected into a crisis

Is a useful way of intervening early in a potential Conflict Cycle and avoid spiraling emotions

Adults must remember that our goal is to reduce the level of intensity in order to begin LSCI

We cannot allow the student’s language to divert us from the goal; an argument about choice of words at this time will intensify the conflict

Listen sympatheticallyIdentify and verbalize a student’s feelings of anger,

disgust, fear, or panic regarding cruel, frustrating, or disappointing life events


Drain Off Emotional Intensity – Helpful Statements

“It’s really upsetting (unfair, scary, mean, cruel)”“It’s okay to feel like this; it will get better”“Of course you are angry with him; you believe he

embarrassed you in front of the group on purpose. It’s understandable that you are upset”

“Other students who have had this same thing happen had those same feelings”

“Sometimes when people feel like this, they think nothing good can ever happen to them again. But there is a way to work it out”


Support a Student Engulfed in Intense Emotion

Situation may already be out of controlStudent’s level of panic, anger, fury, guilt,

or anxiety is so high that behavioral controls have disappeared

Goal is to protect the student and others from the rage and temporary confusion

Occasionally calls for physical intervention until the student’s controls are functioning again


Support a Student Engulfed in Intense Emotion – Helpful Statements

“I’ll have to protect you until you can help yourself”

“Teachers (adults) are in control here”“This is the sort of thing teachers (adults) handle”“Sometimes kids have to trust adults to take care

of problems”“There are rules about this situation, and we

follow rules here”


Maintain Communication When Relationships are Breaking Down

In an intense crisis, some students withdraw and become uncommunicative or go into prolonged anger, sulking, and refusing to talk

Unless this defense is penetrated, the world of hostile fantasy can be more destructive to them than the world of reality

Purpose is to redirect students away from this reaction by engaging them in any kind of conversation until they feel more comfortable with their thoughts and feelings


Regulate Social Behavior

Most students quickly learn the rules of a program and are astute at describing conflicting adult standards and contradictions between actions and words, but they often need daily reminders of the rules and regulations if they are to remain in the activity/lesson

Purpose is to provide positive assistance to a student by warning of potential dangers that lie ahead if present behavior is continued

Usually easy for adults to dispense because it is usually needed before emotions get out of control


Regulate Social Behavior – Helpful Statements“I explained to Sally that in order to stay in the group she

would have to keep her hands to herself”“Each day I have to remind Bill that he must finish his

assignment before he can play softball when the group goes out to recess”

“When Karen starts complaining in a shrill voice that someone is bothering her, I tell her to use a clam voice and let the person know that it bothers her”

Roger likes to make smart remarks to gain attention. I remind him that one of our rules is to do things so that others can get their work done. This seems to be enough to drain away his interest in getting someone else upset”


Act as Umpire

Often students try to cast an adult in the role of umpire to help settle intense disputes, grievances, or game violations

Especially appropriate for young and elementary age students


Stages of the LSCI Process for Use with the Reclaiming Interventions

1.Drain-off

2.Timeline

3.Central Issue

4.Insight

5.New Skills

6.Transfer of Training


LSCI Stage 1 – Drain Off/De-escalate the Crisis

Purpose Convey support and understanding of the

student’s stress Start the student talking about the incident Drain off emotional intensity in order to prepare

the student to focus on the event

• Content Incident – the event that brought about the need

for LSCI


LSCI Stage 2 – Timeline

• Purpose Encourage student to relate in sufficient detail the unique

perception of the event and surrounding circumstances Decrease emotional intensity while increasing reliance on

rational words and ideas Discover the student’s unique perception of the

incident/event

• Content Establish a timeline to obtain the student’s

View of the incidentAssociated stressPersonal involvement

Events to Identify in the Timeline

1. Their Behavior - What did or didn’t they do?

2. Their Feelings - What were they saying to themselves at the time?

3. The Event: Their Experience - What happened to them?

4. Their Thoughts - What were they saying to themselves at the time?

5. Consequences – What were the adult/peer reactions?



LSCI Stage 3 – Central Issue

• Purpose Explore the student’s perception of the incident and associated

feelings and anxieties until you have sufficient understanding to concisely state the central issue

Decide which Reclaiming Intervention should be used Determine if the crisis represents the student’s self-defeating

behavior or a rare reaction for this student• Content

Determine extent to which behavior is driven by feelings and anxieties

Determine depth and spread of the conflict Determine the amount of rational control the student can exercise

over emotions Determine long-term and short-term outcomes for student as a result

of the specific LSCI


LSCI Stage 4 – Insight• Purpose

Reframe the student’s perception of the event Enable the student to gain new insight into repetitive patterns of self-

defeating behaviors Help the student recognize that change is possible For student to use new insight into previous pattern of behavior to

develop a plan for change If student is unable to do this, the adult chooses a solution that

establishes group values and reality consequences• Content

Adult decodes the student’s behavior using a range of relationship and listening skills

The Reclaiming Intervention moves to its specific goal Solution is selected from several alternatives, representing the

student’s own changing insights and beliefs into what constitutes a satisfactory solution

When student denies responsibility or cannot choose a solution, the adult structures the solution around group values and social norms that are within the student’s capacity to use successfully


LSCI Stage 5 – New Skills

• Purpose To teach pro-social skills To consider what will happen and anticipate reactions and

feelings of the student and others when the chosen solution is put into action

• Content Selected pro-social skills are specifically practiced as

rehearsal for reacting and problem-solving successfully when the student faces the consequences of the original incident and when a similar problem occurs in the future


LSCI Stage 6 – Transfer of Learning

• Purpose Plan for the student’s transition back into the group’s

ongoing activity To close down private topics or feelings that may have

surfaced during the talk• Content

Adult shifts the focus to help the student anticipate how to manage re-entry into the peer group

If a short-term consequence is associated with the original incident, the student is prepared as that goes into action

Is essential to close down emotions and reduce the intensity of the relationships that may have occurred during the LSCI between the adult and student


Prerequisite Skills Needed to Participate in LSCIa) Attention span for listening and

retaining what has been saidb) Minimal verbal skills to use language

spontaneously and with sequential thought

c) Sufficient comprehension to understand the meaning of words

d) Mental reasoning to understand the essence of the incident and the problem it produced

e) Trust in the adult

Some degree of awareness of self, events, other people

Ability to attend to verbal, interpersonal stimuli (adult speaking)

Sufficient regulation of body and body functions to sustain attention

Sufficient receptive vocabulary to comprehend words used by the adult

Ability to comprehend the stream of content connecting the adult’s words

Ability to produce words or signs sufficiently complex to represent the crisis event

Sufficient memory to recall a simple sequence of events

Sufficient trust that the adult really cares to cooperate, seek, or respond positively to the adult

Willingness and ability to share minimal information with the adult

Ability to describe simple characteristics of self and others

Ability to describe personal experiences, even if in a simple form

Ability to give simple reasons why events occur


The LSCI Reclaiming Interventions

1. The Red Flag Reclaiming Intervention2. The Reality Rub Reclaiming Intervention3. The Symptom Estrangement Reclaiming

Intervention4. The Massaging Numb Values Reclaiming

Intervention5. The New Tools Salesmanship Reclaiming

Intervention6. The Manipulation of Body Boundaries

Reclaiming Intervention


The Red Flag Reclaiming Intervention

Use with students who demonstrate any of the following:

Overreact to normal school rules and procedures by crying, screaming, threatening, attacking, or running away.

Are motivated to escalate their behavior into a blatant “no-win” situation power struggle with staff, which results in more feelings of alienation and rejection



Student Perceptions:“Life is unfair”“My life is troubling me”“Nobody understands my situation and personal

pain”“I feel like a volcano about to explode”“I don’t think I can keep it together”“I really don’t care what happens to me”



Process: To perceive that the student’s behavior is different or

bizarre today or from a previous point in the day To de-escalate his/her self-defeating behaviors and to

determine the source of these intense feelings and inappropriate behaviors

For the staff member to control his/her counter-aggressive feelings toward the student while working through the multiple layers of student resistance

To identify the source of his/her inappropriate behavior.



Goals1. To identify the source of the Red

Flag problem:a) Carry In b) Carry Overc) Tap In

2. To identify the dynamics of displacement in each of these three types and to acknowledge that the problems the student caused in school are not the causes of his problems

3. To practice new ways of managing his/her home/school problems and the thoughts which arouse intense feelings.



Student’s New Insight: Somebody does understand my real problems

and can read beyond my behavior I need to talk to staff about my real problems

and not create new ones here



The Adult’s Task Stay calm and avoid becoming

counter-aggressive Drain-off intense emotions and

restore the student to a level of clear-headedness

Establish an accurate, complete timeline

Provide abundant affirmations Look for a “nugget of insight” Teach the concept of displacement Determine if this is a behavioral

pattern Define “private” and “public”

problems Teach new skills Prepare the student for re-entry


The Reality Rub Reclaiming Intervention

Use with students who:1. Have blocked perceptions of reality due to intense feelings

2. Misperceive reality due to triggering of personal emotional sensitivities

3. Have restricted perceptions of reality due to perseveration on a single event in the sequence leading to the crisis

4. Have a private construction of reality, as events are interpreted through rigid perceptual filters derived from personal history

5. Manipulate reality to test limits



Student perceptions:1. “I have a right to be upset!” “No one can see it my way!”

2. “I don’t understand why they want to broaden this problem.”

3. “I really understand what happened; I just don’t agree it was an accident. I think he did it on purpose!”

4. “I can’t believe I am in trouble, I did exactly what he said!”

5. “I’m only being punished because the teacher does not like me and is always picking on me!”

A Reality Rub Crisis Intervention


How Personal Anxiety Distorts Reality Events

“I see things, hear things, feel things, and remember things in my life not as they

are, but as I believe them to be.”



Process:1. Organize the student’s perceptions in to an accurate,

logical sequence of events

2. To bring order to confusion

3. Demonstrate a cause and effect relationship – nothing comes from nothing


The Reality Rub Reclaiming InterventionGoals:

1. To correct interpersonal distortions and misperceptions2. To identify and help the student move beyond defenses such as

rationalization and denial3. Use decoding skills to:

a) Connect behavior to feelingsb) Connect feelings to a stressful eventc) Connect the stressful incident to irrational beliefs

4. To help the studenta) Accept responsibility for his/her part of the crisis or at least accept

that what happened may have been different than what they believed

b) Natural or logical consequences that result from poor decision-making skills

5. To help the student identify and understand this pattern of self-defeating behavior



Students new insight:1. “Now I understand that there are different ways to look at

situations and mine isn’t always correct.”

2. “Now I understand why the crisis happened, what I did to make it worse, and what I need to do to make it better.”



The Adult’s task:1. Help the student clarify reality by discussing

the student’s perceptions of the incident and sorting out distortions about what occurred.

2. Establish a thorough timeline3. Help the student reconstruct the incident

and the feelings involved4. Help students organize perceptions and

learn that their behavior evokes from the behavior from others

5. Help students learn the likely consequences of similar actions, and see the possibility of altering future events by changing their actions


The Symptom Estrangement Reclaiming Intervention

Use with students who:1. Are too comfortable with their deviant behavior and are

not motivated too change

2. Receive too much gratification from their aggressive behavior

3. Can justify their behavior in a guilt-free way

4. Are narcissistic

5. Believe nothing is wrong with them



Student perceptions:1. “I’ll do what ever I have to do to take care of myself.”

2. “I won’t be pushed around.”

3. “Nobody can tell me nothing.”

4. “I have a reputation to maintain.”

5. “There is nothing wrong with me.”

6. “I’m OK, but you are messing with me.”



Process:1. Obtain a timeline

2. Appeal to their narcissism (really need to affirm and praise strengths)

3. Highlight their past versus current responses

4. Accept their feelings and not their behaviors

5. Clarify the “Law of the Streets” versus the values of belonging, mastery, independence, and generosity

6. Benignly confront their defenses and irrational beliefs in an effort to create some anxiety about their aggressive behavior



Goals:1. To make a particular behavior uncomfortable by

confronting the rationalizations and decoding the self-serving narcissism and distorted pleasure the student receives from the unacceptable behavior

2. To drop a pebble of a new idea into their static pool of thought!

3. Slowly expose their self-deception while also maintaining a caring relationship

4. To have them realize they are too smart to continue their self-defeating behavior and that they will be confronted every time they attempt to justify their aggression

Basic Justifications for Aggressive Behavior

Justification #1 – “He started it” thinkingHe was staring at me

He was laughing at me

He was calling me names or teasing me

He gave me the finger

He touched me first

He kicked me first

This leads to “justified revenge”

Cognitive Trap: MagnificationExaggerating the impact of another’s remark or behavior in order to

justify extreme retaliationJohn H. Faust and Ed O'Connor 114

Basic Justifications for Aggressive BehaviorJustification #2 – “It’s no big deal” thinking (you are

overreacting to this incident)

VariationsIt was a friendly fight

We made up; we shook hands; we are friends

We were just having fun; playing around

I was only kidding; he misinterpreted me

I did not use the (stolen object)

It was an accident

This leads to “justified revenge”

Cognitive Trap: MinimizationDiminishing the importance of the self serving behavior in order to avoid

confronting its cruel or excessive natureJohn H. Faust and Ed O'Connor 115

Basic Justification for Aggressive Behavior

Justification #3 – “No one would have done it” thinking (“I’ll have to solve this problem even if I have to take the law into my own hands”)

VariationsI don’t have to tell staff because I know they would not have done anything

I’m not a baby; I don’t run to my mother; I can solve my own problems

I have a right to take care of my self

This leads to “justified revenge”Cognitive Traps: Mind Reading (Assuming another’s “inadequate”

interpretation and action in order to justify taking matters into one’s own hands

Fortune Telling (Assuming the outcome of the event in order to justify acting to avoid it.




Student’s new insight:1. “Maybe I’m not as smart as I tell myself.”

2. “Maybe I have been cruel and have been tricking myself into believing that it is ‘OK’ to hurt others.”

3. “Maybe I am paying too great a price for my deception because I’m in (treatment, this program, this class) and I am not as free or unrestricted as I would like to be.”



The Adult’s task:1. Keep the focus on the

student’s inappropriate behavior and avoid being led astray by the student’s verbal barrages or attempts to control or camouflage their behavior

2. Develop anxieties in the student’s perceptions by decoding their alibis and behaviors to show them how a part of them justifies and enjoys their ‘righteous aggression’


The Massaging Numb Values Reclaiming Intervention

Use with students who:1. Act out impulsively and then feel guilty about their

behavior

2. Are burdened by intense feelings of remorse, shame, and inadequacy and seek out additional forms of punishment to cleanse their guilt

3. Frequently, these students have a history of being:a) Abused

b) Neglected

c) Abandoned

d) Deprived



Student Perceptions:1. “I’m a terrible person.”

2. “I can never do anything right.”

3. “I can’t control myself so I need to be punished.”

4. “When I am upset, I do terrible things, and I feel guilty.”



Process:1. Avoid any guilt-inducing statement(s)

2. Manage all self-destructive behaviors first

3. Attack irrational beliefs about magnification and emotional reasoning (“I’m a terrible, rotten person”)

4. Provide abundant affirmations and reflections about existing, desirable attitudes, traits, and behaviors (kindness, fairness, and friendship, e.g.)

5. Focus on the control side of the issue and not on the impulsive side



Goals:1. To massage a student’s awareness that they have more

self-control than they realized

2. To help them accept the belief that accidents happen, that they can make mistakes and poor decisions without feeling they are worthless

3. To help them listen and improve their self-control system

4. To relieve some of the burden by emphasizing a student’s positive qualities



Student’s New Insight1. “Even under tempting situations or group pressure, I have

the capacity to control myself.”

2. “Because I made a mistake this time, it does not mean I’m a terrible person.”

3. “There is a part of me which can learn the skills to say ‘control’; I can stop myself!”



The Adult’s task:1. See through the smoke screen of

aggressive behavior and provide affirmations of the student, reflecting on the positive qualities and leading the student into also acknowledging them.

2. Use the timeline to assist student in focusing student on details that bring out examples of positive attributes, no matter how small these may be.

3. Highlight and magnify the flickering signs of control.

4. Decode to assist students gain insight into why they succumb to behavior they know is unacceptable.

5. Connect this insight to the underlying positive values it represents.


The New Tools Salesmanship Reclaiming Intervention

Use with students who:1. Have the right attitude toward staff, peers, and

learning, but who lack the appropriate social skills to be successful

2. Seek approval of adults or peers, but lack the appropriate social behaviors to accomplish their goal

3. This reclaiming intervention is reserved only for those students who initially wanted to do the right thing.



Student Perceptions:1. “I want to do the right thing, but somehow it always

comes out wrong.



Process:1. Obtain an accurate timeline.2. Review timeline with student and make the

connection or interpretation between the student’s intentions and behavior.

3. Affirm student’s right attitude that reinforces that the student and staff are on the same side once the student can focus on his/her right attitude instead of the wrong behavior.

4. Move on to outcome goals once positive relationship is established.



Goals:1. To teach the student new “age-appropriate” social

skills by using pro-social skills training strategies that the student can use for immediate positive gain.

2. To help the student realize that he/she has the right attitude and intentions, but the wrong behavior.



Student’s new insight:1. “I have the right attitude and now I am learning the

right behavior to make new friends, improve academically, and get along with adults.”

2. “I have the right intention, but I need help to learn the skills that will help me make friends, achieve, and get along with adults.”



The adult’s task:1. Only use this reclaiming intervention once a trusting

relationship has been established.2. Serve as a model for the student and use a range of techniques

to teach pro-social behavior.3. Identify a student’s genuine feelings and desire for socially

rewarding results.4. Validate intentions through decoding, if a student cannot

convey intentions directly.5. Support and affirm the student by reinforcing the ides that what

the student wants from others is desirable and achievable.6. Review alternatives for achieving desired results.7. Select new behaviors that are realistic and achievable (simple

and achievable in small, sequential sages)8. Train and rehearse.


The Manipulation of Body Boundaries Reclaiming Intervention

Use with students who:1. Are neglected, isolated or loners and who develop a self-

defeating friendship with an exploitive classmate. In this relationship the dependent student frequently maintains the relationship by acting out his “friends” inappropriate wishes. (Type I)

2. Are “set-up” and “controlled” by a bright, aggressive student. In this relationship the exploited student is typically aggressive and very “socially aware.” He is unaware that he is being manipulated by his passive aggressive classmate, reacts to the provocation, and may be the only one in a situation who receives punishment. (Type II)

3. Are the manipulative or exploitive peers. These are the students on the other side of the manipulation who may find enjoyment in taking advantage of the vulnerabilities of peers.



Student perceptions:1. “It’s important to have friends even if I get into trouble.”

2. “I’m not going to let that jerk tease me. I’ll go over there and teach him a lesson.”

3. The exploitive peer's perception may be: • “I can make this kid do anything I want.”

• “Watch me have some fun with this guy.”



Process:1. If this is “false friendship” (Type I) it is essential for both

students to be involved in the interview. The strategy is to get the exploitive friend to act out his “manipulation” in front of the victim and staff, demonstrating how the manipulator uses the victim for his own needs.

2. If the issue is not “false friendship” but being set-up by others (Type II), then the aggressive victim can be seen alone. The focus is to demonstrate how he gets in trouble when he reacts to the manipulation of peers. Use analogies to make the point.

3. With the manipulative or exploitive peer, try to determine their motivation and intent then choose an appropriate intervention.



Goals:1. To help a student see that another student is manipulating

events in a way that is working against the student’s best interest.

2. To demonstrate that a friend is someone who helps you and makes your life better, not worse. A friend does not exploit you willingly.

3. To demonstrate that the aggressive student is giving his controls and his freedom to the manipulative passive aggressive student when the aggressive student reacts to his provocation.

4. With the manipulative or exploitive peer: To ensure that the manipulative or exploitive peer understands that we are aware of their actions and that we will not accept that kind of behavior in our setting.



Student’s new insight:1. “I want a friend who will help me solve problems and feel

good; not someone who is false and exploitive.”

2. “I will not react to his manipulation since he wants me to act out and get into trouble. I will ignore his tricks, not fall into his traps, and feel good about myself.”

3. For the manipulative or exploitive peer: “I know that I can’t take advantage of peers like that

because….”



The adult’s task:1. Carefully construct a timeline of

events.2. Be sensitive to the sense of loss

the exploited student may feel.3. Affirm and support the student’s

insight into the relationship, even though he may feel like a victim, without support or friends.

4. Provide some hope for discovering alternative behaviors the student can use to obtain support and relationship from others.

5. Conduct a second LSCI with the manipulative or exploitive peer.


Gus StudelmeyerMy life has been one long series of

disconnections. Like a car getting gas, if the nozzle never stays in long enough (keeps

getting jerked) you (it) don’t go very far. Unless, of course you come up with a new station in life that supplies the fuel without

interruption (quite rare in these here parts!).


The road is hard, damn hard. Each new station begins to look like the first, the one that caused your original engine trouble. The tendency is to pull out before someone starts jerkin’ the nozzle again. It’s a lousy pattern. You keep leavin’ with that empty feeling, but at least you pay a little less. I think “emptiness” is quite pervasive among the troops.


Such is the life of a damaged child. We are all empty and require lots of

filling…but when the filling starts we often panic and attempt to sabotage the

fuel intake. The pain of having it precipitously shut off –AGAIN- is the worst kind of pain. Better to sabotage

and end things yourself, than to have the fuel stop without warning.


It’s easy for staff to get mad at us. It’s even easy for us to get mad at us. We do a lot of proactive acting out. But the behavior comes from somewhere. A

staff member once told me that misbehavior is nothing more than a neon light flashing over a kid’s head, stating: “I NEED HELP” “I NEED HELP”

“I NEED HELP.” Not enough people see the flashing lights.

Gus Studelmeyer


Acting out behavior is nothing more than a message to the world that something isn’t right. Kids don’t act out because they are

feeling good. They act out to get things changed.

Gus Studelmeyer


The kid who is pushing you away the most is probably the one that needs you the most.

Gus Studelmeyer


He drew a circle to shut me outHeretic, rebel, a thing to flout

But love and I had the wit to winWe drew a circle to take him in.

Edwin Markham

managing troubled and troubling students in crisis

Documents

ed oconnorjohn

ed oconnorbelonging

ed oconnorindependencejohn

ed oconnormasteryjohn

circle of courage

troubled behavior

troubling students

ones circle