managing your relationship with your boss
TRANSCRIPT
Managing Your Relationship with Your Boss:
Managing Your Relationship with Your Boss:Don't Set Yourself Up for Failure
Presented by:Rob Orr, SPHR
HR Consultant
“We’re running as an economy at 30% efficiency”
“We’re running as an economy at 30% efficiency”
Curt CoffmanEmployee Engagement Global Practice Leader,
The Gallup Organization
HRMagazine, February 2004
Session ObjectivesSession Objectives
• Identify the cues to watch out for
• Recognize how you might contribute to the problem
• Identify steps you can take to turn the situation around
By the end of the session, you will be able to:
AgendaAgenda
• Review purpose and desired outcomes
• Difficult Bosses
• The Set-Up-To-Fail Syndrome
• How Subordinates Contribute
• Taking Responsibility
• Summary
Your Difficult BossYour Difficult Boss
Use the worksheet to describe a difficult boss that you have known
The Difficult BossThe Difficult Boss
1. Negative, mean spirited
2. Autocratic
3. ______________________________
4. ______________________________
5. ______________________________
6. ______________________________
7. ______________________________
8. ______________________________
The Set-Up-To Fail SyndromeThe Set-Up-To Fail Syndrome
• Widespread
• Insidious & Pernicious
• Based on “Common Wisdom”
Different Strokes for Different Folks…
Different Strokes for Different Folks…
Bosses consciously treat stronger and weaker performers differently
– Stronger performers get autonomy
– Weaker performers get help
– Deadwood gets an invitation to leave
Performance Management Models
Performance Management Models
• Situational Leadership Theory©
• Interaction Management®
• Leadership for Results™
Don’t these “Common Sense” Models prescribe just that?
Labels, Biases, & MisperceptionsLabels, Biases, & Misperceptions
Having formed an opinion, our minds draw on all possible evidence to support it. When confronted with evidence that contradicts our viewpoint, we overlook it or denigrate it, or find some other way of writing it off. That way we can cling to our original opinion as though it were a universal truth.
Francis Bacon, 1620(updated language byManzoni & Barsoux.)
Triggers of Lost ConfidenceTriggers of Lost Confidence
• Disloyalty
• Complaining
• Negative attitude
• Low engagement or energy
• Low-self-confidence
• Insensitivity to signals
• Know-it-all
• Disrespect for Boss’s time
• Blatantly political
• Extrinsic motivation
• Trying too hard
Perceiving PerformancePerceiving Performance
Goal Commitment and Sales Performance
0.7 In-Group
Stronger Perf.
-0.83
-0.19
- 0.26
Out -Group
Weaker Perf. -
-1
-0.8
-0.6
-0.4
-0.2
0
0.2
0.4
0.6
0.8
1
Low High
Goal Commitment
Sta
ndard
ized S
ale
s P
erf
orm
ance
In-Groups and Out-GroupsIn-Groups and Out-Groups
• 80-90% of managers have sharply differentiated relationships with subordinates.
• In-Group members have close partnerships as “trusted assistants.”
• Out-Group members have low-quality relationships as “hired-hands.”
Performance PerceptionsPerformance Perceptions
• No correlation between objective performance & relationship quality:1993 – Duarte, Goodson, & Klich
• Very high correlation between “liking”and in-group status:1990 – Wayne & Ferris
• Boss expectation in 1st week a better predictor of “in-group status” than actual performance at end of 2nd week1993 – Liden, Wayne, & Stilwell
The Self-Reinforcing Dynamic The Self-Reinforcing Dynamic
Boss’s behavior toward “weaker” performers
Boss is increasingly
impatient pushy or
intense during contacts
Subordinate progressively disconnects
Subordinate looks for excuses
Boss is not well informed
Boss is less able to make useful suggestions
Boss‘s anxiety increases
Problem recognition is delayed
More problems arise
Subordinate performs less well overall
Subordinate spends time on excuses (rather than problem solving)
Boss loses faith in Subordinate's excuses
RealityReality
“Good people can quickly end up with bad labels. That needn’t be a problem. The boss’s inaccurate label becomes a problem because it is so hard to change.”
Jean-François Manzoni & Jean-Louis Barsoux
The Set-Up-To-Fail Syndrome
Are You in the Out-Group?Are You in the Out-Group?
Let’s take a look!
Refer to the answers on Your Difficult Boss worksheet
Your Difficult BossYour Difficult Boss
In small groups, share:– the situations you described on page 5
– the factors that contributed to the situation
Agree on the common factors( Write on page 18.)
“What is there in your approach or way of managing the situation that might be contributing to the problem or getting in the way of its resolution?”
“What is there in your approach or way of managing the situation that might be contributing to the problem or getting in the way of its resolution?”
Peter BlockFlawless Consulting, Second Edition2000, Jossey-Bass/Pfeiffer
Cues for SubordinatesCues for Subordinates
• Attribution of negative personal characteristics
• Tendency to reduce contact with Boss
• Diminished self-confidence
• Hyper vigilance of Boss behavior
• Takes feedback with “a grain of salt”
• Tendency to bring up the past
• Reputation as “the person most likely to disagree with the boss”
• Tendency to engage in covert lobbying
The Difficult BossThe Difficult Boss
1. Negative, mean spirited
2. Autocratic
3. Stickler for details, intolerant, impossible to please
4. Intimidating, treats people as resources
5. Unrealistic
6. Stubborn; impossible to influence
7. Manipulative
8. Meddlesome; untrusting
9. Control freak; micro manager; evaluative
10. Uncommunicative; aloof; unsupportive
11. Weak, prone to favoritism; low performance standards
12. Impatient; temperamental; unpredictable
13. Ignorant bureaucrat; clueless; defensive
14. Stifling my development
The “Great Boss”The “Great Boss”
1. Development-oriented
2. Intuitive; decisive
3. Has high expectations and aspirations
4. Driven
5. Demanding; has high aspirations
6. Single-minded; focused
7. Politically astute
8. Helpful; caring
9. Encouraging; coaching; informed; close to the pulse
10.Thoughtful, busy
11.Allows self-discovery
12.Passionate; incisive; mercurial; (at worst) impulsive
13.Realistic; better judge; aware of interdependencies; victim of a poorly sold change
14.Considerate; letting me recover
The Observed BehaviorsThe Observed Behaviors
1. Giving critical feedback
2. Making a unilateral decision
3. Instructing work to be redone
4. Imposing discipline
5. Setting stretch targets
6. Sticking with a doubtful course of action
7. Sending mixed signals
8. Giving unsolicited advice
9. Asking specific questions
10. Delaying response to proposal/ request
11. Not condemning a big mistake
12. Losing temper in public
13. Resisting a proposed change
14. Giving a routine assignment
Perception is RealityPerception is Reality
Lacks loyalty and integrity
Personal betrayal
To make things better
Covert lobbying
Lacks judgment, self-control & discipline
Challenging, foolish resistance
To be heardHolding ground with Boss
Lacks judgment & maturity
Water under the bridge
Avoid repetition
Bringing up the past
Anti-learning, lacks potential & respect
Ignored feedback
EffectivenessDiscounting feedback
Boss infersBoss seesIntentAction
Cues for SubordinatesCues for Subordinates
• Attribution of negative personal characteristics
• Tendency to reduce contact with Boss
• Diminished self-confidence
• Hyper vigilance of Boss behavior
• Takes feedback with “a grain of salt”
• Tendency to bring up the past
• Reputation as “the person most likely to disagree with the boss”
• Tendency to engage in covert lobbying
Taking ResponsibilityTaking Responsibility
• Stop digging
– Get your job in order
– Get your head in order
– Don’t rush it
• Start talking
• Accomplish some tasks
Taking ResponsibilityTaking Responsibility
• Stop digging
• Start talking
– Increase contact with boss
– Make it easy for the boss
– Invite your boss to a meeting
– Have a new conversation
• Accomplish some tasks
Taking ResponsibilityTaking Responsibility
• Stop digging
• Start talking
• Accomplish some tasks
– Maintain your own self-confidence
– Fight the urge to withdraw
– Don’t overreach
Things to RememberThings to Remember
• Know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em.
• There is no one to blame.
• Let go of expectations of your boss.
• Offer the benefit of the doubt.
• Produce hope, rather than pursue it.
The Set-Up-To Fail SyndromeThe Set-Up-To Fail Syndrome
Loss of Confidence •• WidespreadWidespread
•• Insidious & PerniciousInsidious & Pernicious
•• Based on Based on ““Common WisdomCommon Wisdom””