march 2010

laureateth

e Volume XXVII: Issue V Lassiter High School March 2010

indexTHE 411 TROJAN TALK A&E FEATURES CENTERSPREAD COMEDY CENTRAL JFFSPORTS

2-34-56-78-9

10-1112-1314-1718-19

courtney ciesielskicomedy central editor

The Varsity girls of Lassiter’s swim and dive team celebrate their exciting three-peat as Georgia’s AAAAA state champions.

brandon stephens

Will you go toathlete of the month

Chants of “Three-peat” rang throughout the Westminster Aquatic Center as the winners of the state meet cheered for their third state title in as many years. This team was none other than Lassiter’s own Lady Trojan swim and dive team. Led by several runner-up finished and a relay state title, the Trojans defeated second-place Walton by over seventy points. After losing a few key seniors from last year’s state title team, no one believed the Trojans could win the title again, let alone do it in such a dominating fashion. The

fact that the Trojans were still able to defeat the competition by such a large margin is nothing short of incredible. Losing two All-American seniors to graduation last year left many to doubt if the girl’s swim team could make a run at a third title. This uncertainty did not last long; however, as at the county meet the Lassiter girl’s dominated the rest of the competition. They beat Walton by about sixty points, but even after this victory they knew that they could do bigger and better things at the state meet. “Even after we won county, we knew we could win the state title by an even bigger amount of points,” said Sammie Bosma, one of Lassiter’s individual county champions. Two weeks and a few

weather delays later, the Trojans finally proved they were the best in the state by winning with a total of 329 points. While the Trojans had no individual state champions, the relay team of Courtney Ciesielski, Sammie Bosma, Sarah Williford and Ansley Crenshaw teamed up to win the 400-yard freestyle relay by three seconds. They also were led by runner-up finished by Sammie Bosma (100-yard freestyle), Courtney Ciesielski (100-yard backstroke), and Shannon O’Malley (100-yard breastroke). Placing swimmers in the top eight spots fourteen times and swimmers in the top sixteen spots three times showed the depth Lassiter possessed at this meet. The overwhelming depth at this meet allowed the Trojans to

dominate the rest of their competition. Possibly the only ones who believed Lassiter could win state for the third year in a row were the girls on the swim team. “A lot of people thought that we couldn’t do it again, but I think our depth really surprised people. We all did our best and that lead to our success,” said team member. Shannon O’Malley. The Lady Trojans ignored the people who didn’t believe in them, and erased all doubts that they were not the best in the pool. The Lady Trojan’s showed that coming together as a team leads to great things, as they successfully continued their domination over the state of Georgia by winning their third consecutive state title.

with me?P R O M

PAGE 9

PAGE 19

PAGE 10-11

courtney ciesielski/staff

ideal spring hang out spots

east cobb’s

PAGE 3

Lassiter gets excited for PROM 2010

LHS girls swim to a three-peat

2 The 4112 The 411The 411

compiled by alex medders/staff

A zebra from the circus escaped into the busy streets of Atlanta. Police tried to catch the 12 year old animal but it was much faster than expected. After running through Underground Atlanta, Five Points, and Little Five Points, the zebra was finally caught on the interstate.

“Love Plus” is a widely popular Japanese game for the Nintendo DS platform. In this game, one can date their cyber girl/boyfriend and perform actions such as kissing and cuddling. One obsessed fan is so enthralled with this game and his cyber-gal that they eloped with a real wedding ceremony.

Pandas have been in high

demand at a Thai zoo.. Because

of the people’s infatuation

with the bears, the less revered

crocs and elephants were

painted black and white to

look like Pandas. Since then,

it has become a daily chore of

the zookeepers to maintain

the animals’ Panda-like façade.

The Toyota recall has had everyone talking. Might their car be affected? Despite making its name as a safe, affordable, and reliable car in today’s market, Toyota manufacturers have had a little “oops.” With new recalls piling up each day, owners of every Toyota model are beginning to wonder what their next steps should be. First, it is most important to determine whether you have a vehicle that is said to be affected by the recall. Toyota released a statement that identified the problem to be associated with the gas pedal of more than five million vehicles. In addition to this, another recall has been added to the quickly growing list; there seems to be a problem with Corolla steering wheels. As your first plan of action, get on the internet and research the recalls reported thus far. If your car is one of those that seem to be affected, immediately bring your car to the local Toyota dealership, where your car will be assessed and placed on a waiting list. The problem costs nothing to fix and takes only about ten minutes to repair,

Toyota’s reputation on the line natalie kietastaff writer

Many Lassiter students were affected by the Toyota recall of cars like the Camry.

The recalled cars:

Rav 4

Lassiter gets excited for prom

Corolla Matrix Avalon Camry Highlander Tundra Sequoia

but the list of those waiting for the repair continues to grow daily. Second of all, remember to stay astute while driving, for if you notice something that is not quite right, you may be noticing a problem that would indicate something related to the current recalls, whether or not your car

has already been identified as one that the problem pertains to. Many students at Lassiter drive Toyotas, and the problem has affected them as well. One Lassiter student tells the Laureate her story, stating that her 2010 Corolla was classified as one of the cars with a gas pedal problem. She

says, “I didn’t even notice that anything was wrong. It wasn’t until I saw the news that I decided it would be a good idea to get it checked out.” She proceeds to say that she went to the Toyota dealership, where they placed her on a waiting list to get her vehicle fixed. She said it did not take long and was free of charge, and she is now safely driving her Corolla once again. If detected quickly, this problem will not be on a large scale. So remember to check the internet (or the chart below)to see if your vehicle may be affected. However, it is important to be prepared in the event that your car does experience problems like these. If a problem with the gas pedal, steering wheel, or such should arrive while you are driving, place the car in neutral. It is so far the only known solution. People have reported being in very grave situations due to the gas pedal sticking, and placing the car in a neutral shift saved their lives. At this point, be on the lookout for any sort of problems, some already identified in the news while others waiting to be discovered. Even a reliable manufacturer like Toyota has its faults, and there is bound to be another burnt cookie in the batch .

natalie kieta/staff

3The 411 3The 411 3The 411Got sleep? Nope!

It’s midnight and half of America’s high school teenagers still have not gone to bed. They are either finishing homework after coming home from an extracurricular activity, or unable to fall asleep because of chronic illnesses. As the time keeps progressing, each student decides to finally sleep after an onerous night of work and school. The next day turns out horribly with some students falling asleep in class and missing important lectures or others failing exams because of a lack of energy. These occurrences happen frequently; they are the effects of major sleep deprivation. According to most research websites, sleep deprivation is sleep debt or a “lack of sleep in which a person gets less than the required amount of hours of sleep.” Sleep deprivation can result from many causes, from simply not having enough time to sleep to distractions from advances in technology. But what is the main reason why teenagers suffer from sleep deprivation? The answer—the constant demands of high school. Today’s modern society demands

By the Numbers:Sleep Deprivation

1,550drivers killed per year due to

lack of sleep

Average hours of sleep teens get

9Number of hours that teens should

sleep

58 percent of students who would get their

homework done instead of sleeping

6.5

amrita banerjeestaff writer

much more from human beings in general than in past decades. As a result of advancement in education, colleges require students to achieve higher standards in both the academic and extracurricular activity fields. Nowadays, schools offer students more challenging classes, such as AP and gifted courses. This forces students to lengthen their study schedule and thus shorten their sleep time. In fact, we polled 40 Lassiter students, giving them a scenario in which they arrived home at 9 p.m. after a long day of school and extracurriculars. 23 of them (58%) responded that they would start their homework then and sleep later. While most teenagers dismiss sleep deprivation as a minor disorder, not earning a full night’s rest, however, can have severe--even fatal--effects. After a night without sleep, people typically experience an increase in fatigue or soreness in the body as well as a decrease in vision. Demeanors also change and most people become irascible, making even the smallest of decisions a much bigger ordeal. An increase in depression also occurs. Moreover, a lack of sleep causes people to become less alert; in fact, for every one and a half hour of sleep lost, alertness decreases by 32%. Lila Farino, 12, commented, “The shortest amount of sleep that I’ve ever had is two hours, and to be brief, I felt really miserable the next

day. I could hardly concentrate in class.” On a more long-term scale, sleep deprivation leads to a loss of memory and weight gain. Sleep has a great effect on hormones. The body’s two hormones that contribute to weight change are leptin and ghrelin. Leptin affects humans’ feelings of satisfaction after consuming food, while ghrelin stimulates appetites. When a human experiences sleep deprivation, the levels of ghrelin increase and those of leptin decrease. This makes people hungrier, since the food they eat does not satisfy them. Other than weight gain, sleep deprivation also increases the probability of a car crash because levels of awareness drop. In fact, it is estimated that almost 1,550 drivers are killed each year due to a lack of sleep. Sleep deprivation is the cause of many problems in teenagers’ lives. Mrs. Grable, who teaches AP Psychology, remarked, “When students come to school, they seem tired. They put their heads on their desks and don’t seem to be engaged in class. It has been studied that lack of sleep causes one to not perform as well in the classroom.” With that said, get rest! Try not to procrastinate so that actually feel rested when you wake up. Of course, try to do so on a regular basis, but especially when AP Exams and finals come, be sure to get a good night’s rest to perform well on the tests.

40-50percent of kids who do not

sleep enough

20percent of teens who fall asleep in

school

The junior-senior prom is Saturday, March 27th at the “fabulous” Fox Theatre. Now that March has arrived, girls are busy searching for an affordable find while some guys are still left without dates. But others are hard at work making everything possible. Ms. Day and Mr. Mury, both well-known and well-liked teachers at Lassiter, are behind the scenes this year. Ms. Day comments, “So much goes into the process. The venue is chosen and reserved at least a year in advance. Sometime last year, we secured the Egyptian Ballroom at the Fox Theatre.” The student population reaps the rewards of nearly a year of planning on their part, much of which usually goes unnoticed. Planning a prom in the Fox Theatre is actually quite complex, as Ms. Day explains, “There are many different people who need to be hired. We are using Bill from A Celebration with Music as our DJ. He will be setting up a website for students to make song requests for the big night.

Lassiter gets excited for promcory shawcopy editor

“Next comes catering. The Fox Theatre requires that we use their beverage service and Affairs to Remember is our caterer, providing a desert bar.” Next is a memorable theme. “The Egyptian Ballroom is already heavily decorated in the Egyptian theme, so we decided to work with it rather than fight it,” said Ms. Day. Obviously, with all these extra strings attached, money becomes an issue. Juniors do traditionally throw the prom for the seniors (in hope of having the same thing happen to them one year later!), as she explains “Each junior’s prom ticket is supposed to be covered by their class dues, paid over freshman, sophomore, and junior year.” But, seniors are charged a flat rate of $50 per person and $90 per couple. Within Lassiter though, coordination becomes complicated, because as Ms. Day comments on, students aren’t the only ones in focus “Last year, we sold 798 tickets, and this year we are cutting off the sales at 800. With that many kids, you need plenty of chaperones and security. 800 students, thirty teachers

and administrators, and the “support staff” of the Fox and the caterer - that’s many people to coordinate.” Teachers are recruited to help in this process. Derishai Gordon-Staton, 11, expects the unexpected for this year’s prom. She says “our group is meeting at my best friend’s house to board the party bus that will go to prom and back to her house for a long night of partying.” She continues, “My total prom spending will be close to $150-$200 which is worth the money simply because it’s a one or two-time thing. We will probably not see 99% of our friends once we go to college and we need the prom to get our minds off difficulties we are facing.” Leland Gross, 12, is excited that his group of twenty-five people is going to P.F. Changs before prom. Krissy Hillger, 12, plans on having the time of her life. She says, “Prom may be a lot of money, but it is my last year. ‘Promming’ it up, party buses, after parties, what is there not to be happy about?” Judith Martin once said, “The invention of the teenager was a mistake.

Once you identify a period of life in which people get to stay out late but don’t have to pay taxes - naturally, no one wants to live any other way.” For students like Derishai, Leland, and Krissy, prom is their chance to become a kid again. And Ms. Day and Mr. Mury are hard at work making everything happen.

LHS can’t wait until this year’s prom.

cory shaw/staff

Trojan talk4

Prom, prom, prom. It’s most girls’ dream; almost every boys’ nightmare. And why shouldn’t it be? Tuxes, corsages, and awkward poses in front of half a million cameras—that doesn’t sound like any boy’s cup of tea. While for girls prom equals an excuse to wear a gorgeous dress, look absolutely beautiful, and dance with their dream guy. Honestly, though, is a date really necessary? Sure it’s fun to share that night with someone special, but only if you if you have someone special. Otherwise, it is a little superfluous. Girls, let’s face it: Those boys know you are all gorgeous and prom will be straight proof of that fact. You don’t need a date to tell you that. And boys, you are feeling enough pressure from everyone else to look good that night and doing everything right, do you really need to worry about asking someone? I don’t mean to sound like having a date is a terrible idea; if someone asks you and you want to say yes, say yes! If a boy spends enough time to come up with a cute way of asking you (even if it is

What’s the point of a prom date?

mary ann staakcenterspread editor

on a piece of paper under a sandwich…wink wink) then girls you better say yes. But really, dates are overrated. You can have just as much fun with a huge group of friends, or even just a few friends, without a date. Having a date really just complicates everything. The worst part is being asked by someone who you really don’t want to go with, but he asks you in such a nice or creative way that you can’t say no. Then what do you do? You are stuck with some boy that you really don’t want to be with, making the night that much worse for both of you. And boys are pressured into doing this because they all feel like they are “supposed” to have a date, so they ask the first girl who comes to mind. Or at least the first girl who they might actually have fun with. Let’s be honest here: Dates can be a painful thing for both the boy and the girl. Everyone stresses about it and says it is such a “big deal”, but it really isn’t. If you don’t have a date this prom, don’t be sad. Have fun with the group you’re going with and enjoy the night with your friends! Girls, if you do have a dream guy that didn’t ask you to prom, ask him to save you a dance that special night! And boys, save yourself from the extra stress and just skip the date. If there is a special girl who has caught your eye and she is dateless, then it is acceptable to ask her. But don’t forget the cute plan!

Warm weather. No school. Time to pack your bags? What is an ideal spring break? In the past, students at Lassiter have traveled all over the world during spring breaks. Are these faraway trips the best options? Well, everything honestly depends on the student and their

katie zioneditor-in-chief

preference. Yes, some kids go on mission trips to exotic foreign countries. And yes, others go to the beach for a week to relax and have fun with friends. Yet, even with these exciting opportunities, there are many kids that just stay home. Even though a week long adventure away from home seems more intriguing and ideal for this week out of school, there is absolutely nothing wrong with staying home. Multiple worthwhile opportunities exist right here in east cobb. First of all, you are not alone. Lots of Lassiter kids stay at home; hanging with people here can potentially have just as many memorable moments. You could always get a start on spring cleaning,too. You never know if Peter Pan will show up. You could also go shopping, get

prepared for exams (only a few weeks away at that point), start planning your summer, or just sleep and rest. Athough you could potentially reap these benefits by staying at home, I am not at all suggesting to turn down other tropical opportunities. I am only showing that no one should dread spring brreak--even at home. Staying home could seriously be awesome. Even without the tan and airbrush tshirt, kids can thoroughly enjoy a chill week at home. Any week without alarm clocks and homework is a vacation1--whether in Marietta or Mexico. Just enjoy your spring break--wherever you end up!

Should I stay home for Spring Break?

lindsay hopkinstrojan talk editor

These past few months, the only thing that’s been on students’ minds is prom: finding a dress, buying dance tickets, and all the other essentials. And what is the best part of getting ready for prom? Finding a date! All the girls are anxious to see who will ask them to prom, and all the boys are nervous to prepare the perfect way to ask. Lassiter students are beginning to see “PROM?” written on windshields, flowers, coffee cups, and anything else you can imagine. Everywhere you look, students are preparing for prom. Since asking a date to prom is- for girls- the most important part of prom, you know how hard the boys have to work to

alex medders/ staff

www.paradisepic.comx

impress you! “The hardest thing about asking Cate to prom was thinking of the perfect way to ask her. I wanted it to be good so there was no way she could say no!” explained Ryan Patton, 11. Asking a girl to prom gives boys a chance to be romantic; even if it’s only because they feel it’s the only way to avoid rejection. Besides how the boy asks, having a great date for prom is part of what makes the night so memorable. However, many people disagree and feel everyone should go in a big group of friends. I agree with going in a big group of friends, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have a date, too! Dates make everything special. The boy always wears a tux to match her dress, they take pictures with just the two of them, and they get to enjoy the entire night together. Prom is one of the most anticipated events of every student’s high school career, and going with the perfect date makes it that much more fun. Dates are not overrated because that’s exactly what prom is for!

caroline hampton/ LHS studentemily kehner/ staff

5

It’s a fact: Leprechauns are real. You probably don’t see a lot of them, but they are very tiny. And they are green. They can run fast and steal your money. Turn around. Did you see it? Look again. Anything? Nope, probably not. Honestly though I don’t know why people don’t believe in them. Tiny men in even tinier green suits are about as legit as horses with giant, horn-like growths coming out of the top of their heads. Why would you question their existence? In addition to that, think about how in elementary school your class would

mary ann staakcenterspread editor

Leprechauns really do exist!leave the room for not even an hour, maybe thirty minutes just for recess. But when you return with your classmates, your room has been totally ransacked. It was in March too! Coincidence? I think not! Those little buggers even left clues that they were there. Like poorly drawn cutouts of four leaf clovers. It was like they wanted us to know it was them who tossed our miniature chairs into walls and ripped up our coloring books. Maybe we don’t see them anymore because all they want is money and nobody has any right now. They are always sneaking around, looking for rainbows (even though those shouldn’t be too hard to find considering all the rain we have had lately) and the pot of gold at the end of it. But there isn’t any! So the leprechauns have disappeared because all of our money has. That is sad though. But you have to have faith in them that they will return for their favorite

time of the year—St. Patrick’s Day! So keep a sharp eye out this March. Those little men in green suits will be sprinting

around, hunting for your spare change. Make sure

you lock your classrooms too, because I have a feeling that those crazy leprechauns

might make a side trip to Lassiter

to see if there are any pots of gold h i d d e n

here.

Recently, as I am sure a limited portion of you know, the video broadcasting program, which, depending on whom you ask has either blessed or plagued Lassiter for the past several years, was stripped of its rights to shoot video and get interviews around the school and its students banished to the limits of their classroom. These rights are essential to producing the required shows and segments of any quality whatsoever, and it will be interesting to see how students adapt to the unfortunate circumstances. The reasons for the sentence that was handed down on February 18, 2010, had accumulated over the months, and what tolerance remained for any misbehavior by the students around the school completely dried up after a student who was out filming pulled the fire alarm. Should there be a punishment for this and other actions? Absolutely there should. It is not only the administration’s choice, but its responsibility to students and the school to see to it that students who do such things are disciplined in such a way that reduces or eliminates the chances of the event occurring again. However, punishing an entire program and its teacher for the actions of an individual who would be impossible to supervise (there are usually 6 groups to a class who all go to different parts of the school, and thus monitoring

Tragedy of video broadcasting

tyler molinarocopy editor

The Laureate Staff2009-2010

Editors-in-ChiefKatie Zion

Emily Kehner

Trojan Talk EditorLindsay Hopkins

A&E EditorTaylor Hayes

Sports EditorKevin Ankerholz

Comedy Central EditorCourtney Ciesielski

JFF EditorCate Cash

Features EditorEmily Weissert

The 411 EditorSkye Rubel

Centerspread Editor Mary Ann Staak

Copy EditorsTyler Molinaro

Cory Shaw

Staff WritersAmrita Banerjee

Katie HayesJack Herman

Alex MeddersJulia RegeskiNatalie Kieta

AdvisorMr. Todd Henry

The Laureate is a student publication of Lassiter High School; a member of the Georgia Scholastic Press Association. Editorials reflect the opinions of individual writers and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Lassiter High School, Cobb County Schools, or their administrators. Financial support for The Laureate is obtained through advertising and generous patron contributions. Contact through the school address or by emailing [email protected].

Want to tell LHS how you feel?

[email protected]

We welcome guest submissions to The Laureate.

[cartoons, editorials, pictures, and more]

all of them at once is a ridiculous and impossible task for one man), is unjust, unfair, and may result in the program’s loss of talented students. For this last reason it seems particularly shortsighted to punish the innocent students who simply want to do their work and learn in an interactive and creative environment, the students who want to pursue a career in the profession that the career tech class focuses on, and especially the level four seniors, who are expected to run the jumbotron and to my knowledge have not behaved irresponsibly in the four years that they have spent honing their skills by working both in and out of class and who have elevated the program’s quality to new heights. Some may inquire as to why the administration does not simply shut the program down completely after this year if it causes such dire problems that its students must be confined to their classroom for a class that is designed around the ability to shoot around campus. To these, a simple answer—the video production program is needed to run the jumbotron at sporting events for the school. Because of this need, it must also be pointed out that this confinement will undoubtedly worsen the quality of students and their camera work, which will translate to decreased quality of filming at the games and overall operation, use, and quality of the jumbotron. Not only that, but, as the rule stands now, no filming is allowed on campus except in the video production classroom, and, as the football fields are included in the campus, either filming must stop at the games or a double standard must be created. It seems obvious to me that if the program is to continue, a change of some

kind must be made. So, to all of these headache-inducing issues, I offer a simple solution. The plan calls for the immediate expulsion from the program of any member of the video broadcasting team who causes such problems as those who caused the shut-down in the first place. This measure would ensure that people immature, unfocused, or irresponsible enough to perform such acts do not have the opportunity to make the same mistake and damage the program twice. Also, the plan calls for the requiring of a teacher recommendation, GPA check, or some form of weeding out the students who want to slack in the class or do not meet intellectual or motivational requirements, also known as the students who end up causing problems, from those who truly want to learn more about filming, editing, interviewing, and producing shows. This process also would end up improving the overall quality of work produced, including the running of the jumbotron, because only those motivated enough to complete the application or recommendation process and those committed to doing their best in the class would be allowed in. There are precedents for this application process to get into a class at Lassiter. In fact, you are reading what one such class produces. The current video production crisis can be handled one of two ways. Either it can be used as an opportunity to institute a method of improving upon the program’s efficiency, quality, and behavior, or it can slowly corrode, deteriorate, and otherwise destroy the needed class. May the regrettable situation be used as a chance to bring the program to its fullest potential and not to smother and eventually dispose of video production.

caroline hampton/ LHS student

A&E6

He Saw, She Saw: Leo in Shutter Island Shutter Island stands out as one of the smartest movies I have seen all year. In my opinion, there are no faults in the film. The only reason some people may not like it lies in the basis of its twisty story line. Throughout this movie you have to pay attention to everything or else you will end up just plain confused in the end. When it comes to the last couple scenes of the movie you have to pay extra close attention and know exactly what is going on. These final scenes encompass the message and main idea of the movie. If you fail to do this at the end, you will end up sitting there having no idea what just happened. Before I went to go see this movie I felt very skeptical because scary movies definitely lie on my list of least favorite things to spend money on. They keep me up at night, and I can never seem to shake some of the images that come from them. Thankfully the commercials for Shutter Island tend to be misleading. The movie sends out more of a thriller message than anything else. Tense situations and some blood stood out as the scariest parts, but other than that, everyone is capable of watching this movie. The one thing that drew me to go see this movie in the first place was none other than Leonardo DiCaprio. With movies under his belt such as Titanic, Catch Me If You Can, and Blood Diamond he has risen as one of the best actors of all time. He always performs his roles extremely well, and I promise he does not disappoint in this movie. Also, as a movie directed by Martin Scorsese, I wanted to see how well it held up against many of his other great films. If any of you know this director you know that he also worked with DiCaprio on

another movie, The Departed. I am sorry to say that Shutter Island, although it was an amazing movie, will just never beat The Departed in my mind. Many of you can see both of them and decide for yourself. If you are on the fence about going to see this movie I encourage you to go. Some of you may want to wait until it comes out onto DVD or On Demand, however, only because paying $9.50 for a movie right now is turning into a heavy burden for some of us. The movie is good, but it will be just as good viewed from your local couch or living room. One way to sum up this movie is to call it an intense, thought-provoking film. You will be on the edge of your seat most of the time. You will most likely be surprised at how this movie ends. Shutter Island is by far one of the better movies to come out this year.

cate cashjff editor

Best Picture Best Actor Best Actress Best Animated Film

The 1st Annual Lassiter Trojans: the votes are in and this year’s winners are...

votes compiled by skye rubel/411 editor

ivillage.com impawards.comdrafthouse.com movies.about.com

Shutter Island came in as one of the most anticipated movies of 2010.

shockya.com

These days, clever movies are hard to come by. However, overly complicated, twisted movies that leave your head spinning seem commonplace. Unfortunately Shutter Island falls in the latter category. If creepy music and demented flashbacks is all it takes to make a great movie then Shutter Island without a doubt would get my vote. Sadly, good movies also require a plot and an overall sense of purpose, two features that his film sorely lacks. The movie shot for the stars in an attempt to be great, but it fell quite short in my opinion. The plot (or lack thereof ) centers on an investigation by U.S. Marshall Teddy Daniels (Leonardo DiCaprio) and his partner Chuck Aule (Mark Ruffalo). They

are assigned to search for a mental patient escaped from Boston’s Shutter Island and their search for answer takes them to the Ashecliffe Mental Hospital. A combination of extremely shady staff members and very questionable hospital conditions alert the audience that something must be amiss. Of course, almost on cue, eerie scenes with bone chilling music and spine tingling flashbacks are bound to follow. The weather also plays a nice role in the movie, adding almost constantly overcast skies to an already dreary landscape. The plot takes a major turn after a disastrous hurricane ravages the island and leads to the disappearance of more mental patients. Marshal Daniels’ search for answers soon turns completely away from the hospital and towards himself in what can be described as an attempt to create an epic plot twist. When someone goes to the movie theater to enjoy a movie, they invest both time and money to enjoy the whole experience. Part of the movie experience is to enjoy a buildup of events throughout the movie that eventually reach their peak at the climax. Unfortunately, Shutter Island’s grand climax only proves the first hour of the movie useless and served only to thoroughly confuse me. Although a talented cast and crew make the movie bearable, the big “it” factor is still profoundly lacking and all attempts to capture the film making magic fall desperately short of their mark. Shutter Island takes viewers on a Fight Club- like experience of hallucinations and mixed realities. Unlike Fight Club however, the film did not include crazy fight scenes and comedic relief to keep audiences occupied. A slow, drawn out story line does not cut it in the fast paced world of instant gratification.

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itor

Getting excited for prom? Well here is yet another thing to get excited about for Prom 2010. Katie Jacoutot, 11, sings lead for her band, Meadowood, that will play at prom this year! Around Lassiter many students know Katie Jacoutot as a soccer player/chorus member, but outside the walls of our school Katie takes part in something that many music lovers wish they had the initiative to do. She joined forces with the rest of the band, Meadowood, in the middle of her freshman year, and loves what she does more and more every day. Two brothers, Rico and Robert Catalino, made the band that Katie takes part in about five years ago. Like many bands, it began in a garage. As the brothers got older and matured, they began to seek out more serious members. The complete line up of the band has been together for about six months, consisting of Katie on vocals, Rico on guitar, Robert on drums, Dustin on bass, and Andrew also on guitar. According to Jacoutot, Dustin, their bassist, stands out as the most musically talented of the group and takes part in another band with a former member of Rascal Flatts. Katie has sang her whole life and has been

trained for about six years. The guys have all played instruments for about five to six years each. Dustin and Andrew agree that the band has become more like a family

over the years. As Andrew says, “Katie’s my sister and the guys are my brothers.” When asked to describe their style, Rico Catalino jokes, “If Michael Jackson and Prince had a baby, that’d be us.” Many people have compared Meadowood to the well-known band Paramore, but Jacoutot believes that their music has its own unique style. “Every

band wants to describe their music as unique, and we are no exception. I would say we put a heavier sound into music that could be on the radio,” says Jacoutot,

11. Bassist, Dustin, feels as if “our music is whatever the listener wants it to be.” Bands such as The Used, Led Zepplin, Victor Wooten, Blessthefall, and Brand New have changed the band’s outlook on music and made it all the more appealing to them. They have written about 15 to 20 songs, five of which they have already recorded. Yet to

release a full album, the band has been offered a free album from their producer that they will record over spring break and release at the beginning of summer.

Meadowood has played close to 50 shows, anywhere from house parties to The Masquerade in downtown Atlanta. The band enjoys playing shows with other bands that have different styles than themselves because the change in genre in the lineup keeps them interested. “I respect all musicians and I am just happy to be sharing the stage with people who share my passion,” states Jacoutot, 11. Contributing to a band plays a huge role in the lives of all the members, and their hard work pays off as they gain more fans and grow as a band. Jacoutot, 11, says, “My favorite thing about being in a band, honestly, is absolutely everything. The writing

process, connecting with people, working towards a common goal, and playing shows is so rewarding

to us.” For the drummer, Robert Catalino, “It feels like you’re on the moon. What is it that astronauts say? Like ‘one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind?’ I feel like I put my flag on the moon.” You can check out the band at: myspace.com/meadowoodrock. You can follow them on Twitter, be a fan of them on Facebook, and listen to their songs on Myspace (which I personally recommend).

This year’s prom music by Meadowoodkatie hayesstaff writer

Look out for Meadowood on iTunes in the near future, as this band is bound to hit it big.

Home Improvement 40%

Robot Chicken25%

Everybody Hates Chris20%

Saved by the Bell15%

courtesy of brant power

compiled by skye rubel/411 editor

Underrated TV showsKurt Cobain’s daughter

(Frances Bean Cobain) will

produce her singing debut

in correlation with Andrew

WK, Weird Al Yankovic, and

My Chemical Romance’s

Gerard Way. Courtney Love

(her mother) just recently

lost custody over Frances.

As the Golden Globes near,

Avatar and The Hurt Locker,

films directed by an ex-

couple (James Cameron

and Kathryn Bigelow), are

fighting for Best Picture.

The Hurt Locker went 6 for

8 at the BAFTA Awards,

destroying Cameron’s Avatar.

This month will seem to last

forever as MGMT plans to

release their next album on

April 13th. The album is titled

“Congratulations”, and they

have reported that the album

wasn’t created to make stand

out songs, as it should be

taken in as a single creation.

Michael Bay reported on

his website that he will

film Transformers 3 ‘s action

scenes in major cities

across the world such as

Chicago and Moscow.

Angelina Jolie has decided

to not participate in a sequel

to Wanted. In the first

installment, she killed herself

in the final scene with a

magic curving bullet. No one

is really sure how they could

possibly bring her back in lead

with co-star James McAvoy.

Features8

When you think of the person-nel associated with a sports team, you immediately think of only the coaches and players. But one facet of the team that constantly gets overlooked is also one of the most important: the team’s manager(s). Although the coaches may be the play-callers and the players ex-ecute the coaches’ demands, the man-agers act as a foundation for the team. The managers are the ones who make sure the players needs are satisfied (i.e. make sure water bottles are filled, clean team’s laundry, help tape or prepare play-ers for the game, etc…), provide morale support to players when the coach is being hard on them, and make sure all the behind-the-scene jobs are done. Basically without a manager or manag-ers a team would go down in shambles. For years Lassiter High School has been recognized as having one of the best athletic programs in the state of Georgia, and one major contributing factor to this excellence is the people be-hind the scenes: the managers. Some of these professionals include students of different grades. When asked how long she had been helping manage Lassiter’s

football team, Libby Butgereit, junior, had this to say: “I’ve been with the team in heart for several years, but this past season just happened to be my first year down on the field helping the guys out.” Libby chose to manage football because she “has a love for the sport,” and, “most of all because of Coach Clint Woodfin.” An-other hardworking Lassiter sports man-ager is sophomore Carley Pizza. Carley

is coming up on her second season of managing the Trojan’s boys’ baseball team. “Some of my responsibilities in managing the team are helping the guys get ready when they’re about to be on deck or just need a good pep talk,” stated Pizza. Although being a sports manager may be rough, great benefits can be reaped as well. Senior Chelsea Whittle says she enjoys man-aging the boys’ tennis and wres-tling teams. “It’s an experience like none oth-er. Although it may not be fun at some points, I love what I do,” stated W h i t t l e . Chelsea said she loves to help man-age because she gets to be with some of her good

alex meddersstaff writer

friends and she enjoys going to the matches as well. “Another benefit to managing a team is if there is a far away match, you get to be re-leased from class early!” says Whittle. A recently popular managing

position is the “diamond dolls.” It is a group of 20 plus girls that run the show at the baseball games. They

can be seen retrieving foul balls or running the concession stand. They

keep the games running smoothly. After reading all this, next time

you attend a Lassiter sport-ing event or any sport-

ing even in gen-eral, take what

you have read into consid-eration. Keep in mind that

with how hard a team’s athletes

are working, their managers are work-

ing just as hard. With-out a manager of some type there would be no team. So next time you

see a sports manager make sure to congratulate

them on their hard work.

Mat maids, gridiron gals, and diamond dolls

Features 9Choosy moms choose...katie hayesstaff writer

Our school offers an assortment of foods four periods a day and five days a week. Even though many students fun school lunches repulsive, others embrace the freedom of choice, and choose they may. The cafeteria offers a range of food including Mexican, pizza, fries, chicken, main line, sub sandwiches, soup, and salad. The first rule of thumb to eating healthy in this sea of options: no fries. Seriously. I am sure that you know that French fries have little to no good nutritional value, but if you still find yourself having trouble believing this here are some fun facts about French fries. Fries contain about 50% fat and carbohydrates make up the other 48%, which leaves about 2% for protein, the only potentially decent nutrient. Approximately 580 calories make up the schools portion of French fries, so if you share your fries with four or five other people then I guess it is not too bad, but really, who does that? A healthier alternative for French fries would be Bake Lays, pretzels, or tortilla chips. It is still okay to get the chicken from the French fry line, but not every day. And make sure you have something healthy to go along with it, like an apple or orange (available in almost every cafeteria line.) My next piece of advice: stick to the soup and sandwich line. Sub sandwiches stand as healthy alternatives to the beloved

fried chicken sandwich. Try turkey with lettuce and tomatoes! Also, soup is not too bad for you if you don’t get it put in those giant bread bowls that could feed a whole family for a couple of days. In the Mexican line a few good choices include: tacos, quesadillas, and nachos. But beware of nacho cheese. The nacho cheese in our school lunch lines without a doubt came out of a giant can, full of weird artificial additives. Wait until the end of the line for a better choice, a big pretzel, sure it’s not health food, but still a better choice. The best possible food choice often goes unnoticed in the cafeteria: salads. The salads are ironically located in the same line as the fries. As for drinks, the vending machines do have many low calorie options, but just because it has a low number of calories, doesn’t mean it is good for you. Sodas still contain a lot of sugar! So go for something better for you such as teas, Gatorades, or water. For those of you who bring your lunch, good choices include the classy PB&J. The peanut butter gives you protein, the bread gives you healthy carbs, and the jelly…is delicious. It’s really hard to go wrong when you bring from home, unless your parents only buy pure junk food. Whether you bring lunch from home or buy lunch at school there are many available choices to stay healthy away from home and make good food decisions.

Mat maids, gridiron gals, and diamond dolls

The cafeteria line serves a variety of food from the healthy to the unhealthy.

katie hayes/staff

Wanna go to PROM? julia regeskistaff writer

For almost as long as high school has been in existence, girls have dreamt about waltzing around a beautifully decorated room on the arm of some tuxedo-clad prince charming. This is every young lady’s dream of having a perfect Cinderella moment. Everything has to be just as they have imagined-- great date, great dress, perfect ride, dinner, and of course the prom itself. Taking all this into consideration, the guys of today’s society have quite a lot to live up to.Amidst the masses of the teen boys who stereotypically do not care about prom in the slightest, a few stand out as leaders in at least one category- the asking of the date. Anyone can simply conjure up a question. But some have proceeded above and beyond in this task of getting their dream date. For example Dave Varner and David Tran decided the perfect night to ask their potential dates would be to take them out to dinner and ask in them in a way one might not expect. Instead of simply popping the question after the delicious meal at P.F. Chang’s, the pair made a special request to the manager to put the question inside of a fortune cookie. Hanna Haines and Catherine Groundwater were the selected lucky ladies. After enjoying their delicious meal, dessert came, as expected. Prior to the delivery the boys made sure that the waiter knew the girls physical description so as not to deliver the wrong cookie to the wrong girl. However all went as planned. The girls opened their cookies and were shocked to say the least. Dave and David shared a high five and all began to look forward to their definitely positive prom. During Ms. McLaughlin’s 7th period class, Saxon Gibbs received the surprise of her life. The task of the day was a slideshow test, on which each slide included a question. The last question stated,”Saxon Gibbs, Will you go to prom with me? A) Yes B) No.” Karl had approached Ms. McLaughlin prior

to the test and inquired about whether or not he could accomplish his goal. The slide appeared and after the whole class erupted into a chorus of “awwwww’s”, Karl appeared and Saxon happily accepted. Chandler Hunt, Katie Cox, Sope Creek, Jan 23. On January 23, 2010 at Sope Creek, yet another young lady received quite a romantic surprise. Chandler Hunt and Katie Cox had been going on a nice walk throughout the beautiful winter scenery. Chandler asked Katie to wait at the location when he said he needed to run back to his car for a gift. He then asked if she would mind getting the cookies out of his backpack. As Chandler ran away, Katie unzipped the backpack and pulled out an out-of-the-ordinary box of cookies. Each cookie spelled out a different letter of the word PROM? When Katie turned around to look for her newfound date, he was waiting behind her with a fresh bouquet of flowers. When Tim Hunt awoke and sleepily walked to his bathroom mirror, a surprise awakened him. Scribbled on the mirror was one word: “Will”. Confused, Tim continued to get ready for school and ventured to his fridge for breakfast. Another word had appeared: “You”. The day continued to get stranger. Walking out to his car, the word “Go” was written in car paint. Tim drove to school, curious about the strange occurrences no doubt. He was greeted in 2nd period by the word “To” written in whipped cream in a pie pan. Lunch proved to be supportive of this mystery as well. When Tim sat down he found a box of cupcakes spelling out the word “Prom.” 5th period gave Tim the word “With” written on the board. Finally, at the end of the day, waiting for him at his car, Kayla Picchi stood waiting with the word “Me” on a poster board.And so the standard is set. Good luck to all future boys hoping to nag the girl by a simple question. That certainly isn’t going to cut it. Go above and beyond. As you read, desserts almost always prove to work. Of course, whatever way you choose, it must inspire girls to swoon and even the toughest of teens to yell “AWWWWWW!”

Prom is a popular subject as plans for the dance fall into place.

cory shaw/staff

Sope CreekEast Cobb Park

Vickery Creek

East Cobb’s Most Ideal Spring Spots for 2010

Leita Thompson Memorial Park

all photos courtesy of mary ann staak/staff

-Why we love it: It has a huge waterfall, a creek and miles of trails for swimming and hiking!

-The best aspects: The creek is several miles long with several cliffs to jump from, and you can walk over the waterfall.

-Students say: “I love kayaking and swim-ming here in the summer I’m here all the time!” said senior Leland Gross.

-Why we love it: Creek + Ruins + Miles of hiking trails = One of the best outdoor ex-periences in Georgia.-How far it is: Sope Creek is only about thirty minutes away from Lassiter.

-Students say: “I love Sope Creek because it’s beautiful and nearby--especially in the warmer weather when you can swim!” said sophomore Tim Hunt.

-Why we love it: It’s close by and it has a huge field, outdoor stage, and gravel trails.

-What you can do: Bring the whole family or a date for fun on the new playground or a walk along the creek.

-Students say: “It’s gorgeous and so close. I love the playground especially!” said junior Kayla Picchi.

-Why we love it: The closest of all the parks, it has miles of gravel trails and a beautiful pavilion.

-Where it is: Right off 92 right before the Super Target and Chic-Fil-A. Yeah, it’s that close.-Students say: “I’ve always loved Leita. We even went there for homecoming pictures one year!” said junior Ali Contant.

12 Comedy Central

[SFLN]: [statuses from last night]

Remember that status you posted on facebook last night? We do...

we got ourselves a ball gamedo we? we also “got” ourselves an am-biguous status that no one knows what it means except for you…

16 to 7... jerk on the trojan head....all day long!Do I even want to know?

Cain is the mayneNice rhyming

rawr!Meow?

Thinkin of snowboarding..... prolly not a good idea :DWhy is that such a bad idea? And why is your mouth open?

This is why the bachelor couples nev-er last. Your an idiotOh, the irony.

just realized that justin beiber and ludacris did a song together. it blows my mind. but i guess ludacris agreed to do it so justin would be in how low. i mean, where else was he going to find a voice that high??Cliff notes version please?

less than 24 hours away till the road to state 10’state ten Feet?

compiled by the laureate staff

Sometime in the not-too-distant past, I was a student walking the same halls of Lassiter High School as you are today. The best thing that could have ever happened to me on prom seems to everyone to be the most cliché of endings: I was going to be the Lassiter High School Class of 1990 Prom Queen. I was going to be admired as the most beautiful, the richest, and the center of all attention. But, as I look back on the night and its aftermath, it seems clear to me that a miracle happened in which I was completely unaware. All of my dreams for that special night boiled down to that simple fact. There was no grand after party. I survived my prom-day, and to look on the bright side, I was the most attractive girl in the place that night. Back in the day, parents used to be cool. It was universal fact that prom gave us the chance to let loose on limitless boundaries. And being that prom was an all-day event, we seniors were supposed to be treated like royalty from the time we woke up until the time we fell asleep the next morning – or if we fell asleep at all. I woke up at 10 A.M. Saturday after pleasant dreams of seeing my popularity rise through the roof in what would be roughly twelve hours. I had a noon appointment to get my nails done and a hair appointment that followed. I asked the lady to be extra careful, because if she made me look like crap, I would return the favor. People gazed in my beauty afterwards. I was the definition of glamour, and I was the most attractive girl in the place that night. It was 5 P.M. and everyone

wanted to take my pictures. We had just arrived at my best buddy Sandra’s house for photos and then we were off to prom. It was a party bus of high quality – nothing but the best for me. The parents let us loose with a fifty minute ride to the World of Coke ballroom, site of our prom. This was our year to shine. The ride over there is blurry in my memory. I would learn quickly that strobe lights and alcohol aren’t a fantastic mix. I got drunk on prom night, before the prom ever started. But, my story has just begun. Although the facts are a little fuzzy, I remember the bus driver swerving uncontrollably (I later learned that when you are drunk, it seems like everything is swerving!). Next thing you know, he stops the bus on the side of the road after I tried to teach him a lesson on the proper techniques. That guy called the cops on us! I couldn’t stop thinking, though, about how I was going to be the most attractive girl in the place that night. Now, this cop must not have been a parent himself. He put me in handcuffs and arrested me. He forced the entire bus of twenty-four people to head home for the night. It was only 6 P.M. I had ruined the hopes of eleven of my closest girl friends, who by the age of five had everything regarding prom figured out. I had ruined the hopes of twelve guys, who spent months planning creative ways to ask girls to be their date. But, I was too busy spending the night in the Cobb County Penitentiary. That is how I left my high school. Friends and family never forgave me for ruining their dreams and finding myself in jail while the rest of our class had a prom night success. But, I will tell you one thing: I was the most attractive girl in the place that night.

A Prom Disaster

cory shawcopy editor

cory shaw/staff

13[SFLN]:

[statuses from last night]

Remember that status you posted on facebook last night? We do...

we got ourselves a ball gamedo we? we also “got” ourselves an am-biguous status that no one knows what it means except for you…

16 to 7... jerk on the trojan head....all day long!Do I even want to know?

Cain is the mayneNice rhyming

rawr!Meow?

Thinkin of snowboarding..... prolly not a good idea :DWhy is that such a bad idea? And why is your mouth open?

This is why the bachelor couples nev-er last. Your an idiotOh, the irony.

just realized that justin beiber and ludacris did a song together. it blows my mind. but i guess ludacris agreed to do it so justin would be in how low. i mean, where else was he going to find a voice that high??Cliff notes version please?

less than 24 hours away till the road to state 10’state ten Feet?

compiled by the laureate staff

10 things to ignore on Facebook Facebook is the bane of our existence. We spend countless hours stalking, playing games, taking quizzes, or whatever else you can do on the site. While you are sitting online not doing poetry responses, vocabulary cards, or anything else worthwhile, keep in mind these ten things that you should ignore on Facebook.

2. Vampire requests

4. Zombie Vampire requests (If the same person sends you these requests every time, here’s a hint: click ignore all invites from this friend.)

6. “OMG sorry I know everyone hates these groups but I need #s!!!” groups, especially when you don’t know or hardly know the person who lost their phone. If they didn’t have your number before, they definitely don’t need it now.

8. People who use Facebook statuses as a diary. We know you like your boyfriend, and we can tell via our news feed that you guys broke up, so leave out the sad face statuses. If you pour your heart and soul into your Facebook status, chances are you will be in the next issue’s SFLN.

5. People who list all of their friends as siblings, parents, children, etc.

10. Friend requests from your parents.

1. Friend requests from people without a profile picture, especially if their name is that of a European country (i.e. Ireland.)

9. Inbox messages or the random Facebook chats from that kid in your biology class (that you don’t know) that just say creepy things like “hey.”

3. Zombie requests7. __________ville requests. (No, I don’t want to be your neighbor, or harvest your crops, or trade you a cow for a chicken.)

courtney ciesielskicomedy central editor

14 Comedy Central

There are countless numbers of stupid people. We witness them on the road, when women are too busy putting on make-up or men are literally shaving.

We wonder why traffic gets backed-up when there are computer-programmed stoplights that are designed to make you move as quickly as possible. We hear about stupid people who make the news because they, in an effort to get their fifteen seconds of fame, run onto the field of play at a professional ballgame or make up a hoax about a boy in a flying object in the skies of Texas. We hear about students who write short phrases like “I love you, Mrs. Lassiter” or “You are the best teacher ever Mr. Minich” after miserably failing tests. And then there are the “I was too drunk to tell that you drive on the right side of the road in America” stories.

The following man was unique in having the qualities of all three. Thank goodness he earned a Darwin Award. The following is quoted directly from Wendy Northcutt’s The Darwin Awards IV. “Strength and endurance are two of the most important characteristics

than can be passed on to improve the species, so physical challenges between males are frequent. In this case, two drinking buddies found themselves on an overpass forty feet above a busy freeway in downtown Seattle at 2:45 A.M. It turned out to be the perfect place to determine who had more strength and endurance. Whoever could dangle from the overpass the longest would win! Unfortunately, the winner was too tired from his victory to climb back up, despite help from his thirty-one-year-old friend. The unidentified champion fell smack into the front of a semi barreling down the highway at sixty miles per hour and bounced onto the pavement, where he was hit by a car. The car did not stop. Authorities did not identify the winner of the competition.” Next time you find yourself bored at 2:25 A.M., I strongly suggest you find something to do that is more productive than showing off your “strength and endurance” while drunk and realize that interstates don’t provide good landing-boards like the foam pits skate and snow boarders use to practice the next big trick. But, if you didn’t realize that in the first place, maybe it’s better off society benefits from your heroic loss. The Darwin Awards want you! Below is an ambiguous picture of an

cory shawcopy editor

The

illustrated Darwin Award. It is your job to come up with a humorous story that teaches a lesson about someone who performed the heroic duty of ‘cleansing the gene pool’ of the human race by taking themselves out of it. You must somehow match the picture with the story. If you are interested please have your submissions in to Mr. Henry by (date?). The winning article will appear in the next issue of The Laureate!

Darwin Awards

tyler molinaro copy editor

the darwin awards

the darwin awards

--Fill all storage rooms, no, the whole kitchen, nay, the entire cafeteria with Lucky Charms on St. Patrick’s Day.

--Sneak up to a nice-looking, random car in a nondescript parking lot and decorate it in a “just married” fashion. We are talking cans tied to the back, sticky notes with messages, banners, drawings, paint, stickers, everything. Hide. Take out a camera. Watch and film the chaos that ensues.

--Pick the brain of whoever watches the security cameras in our school. I bet they have some interesting stories to tell.

--Stuff Mr. Shaw’s office with balloons to the ceiling so that it is packed to the rafters. It has to be to the point that a team of administrators armed with pens, darts, or a nail gun are needed to clear it out.

--Find out why there was a half-full tub of syrup on an administrator’s desk one day and an empty tub of syrup there the next day.

--Secretly relocate all the trophies in the band room to the other trophy cases in the main school building for the exclusive purpose of seeing Mr. Watkins’ face when he walks into the empty band room.

--Put something, anything, on the wall of fame.

--Give every single student a Dr. Brown soda and have them walk around with it.

--Declare ASE to mean “Alright Sleep Everyone,” or simply drop the acronym and change it back to “nap time.”

--Switch out the motivational posters around the school with despair.com posters.

--Tell teachers that the signs hung from the doorframe declaring some form of “You need your book today, run to your locker frantically,” are useless because students tormented by them are not only hit in the head with signs, but are also either bookless or late and sometimes both.

--Buy 100 encouragement cards and pick a random address. Send all of them to that address and see what we get back.

Oh, the things we wish we could do!

15 The past three years have shown a sudden increase in the demand for gold. This has given jewelers and pawn shop owners some of the best business they have seen in many years; however, the increase of interest in gold has managed to hurt one specific group’s employment: leprechauns. With major dealers of the precious metal such as Cash4Gold.com paying people around the nation “top-dollar” for their gold chains, bracelets and random unlabeled coins, many leprechauns have been forced out of work. Leprechauns simply cannot perform at the quality they used to with cauldrons only half full of unmarked gold coins. Seamus O’Leary thought he had found a loophole last year by using the Sacagawea coins that nobody has ever used, but after a kindergarten class discovered that the coins had designs on them and were not true Leprechaun Gold, they brutally beat Seamus with blocks and poked him repeatedly in the eye with green crayons. It is unknown as to whether or not the kindergarteners

knew the irony of their color choice. As Leprechauns slowly begin to fall below the poverty line, one wonders where all the gold has gone. Businesses such as Cash4Gold.com have raked up nearly 30% of the nations gold reserve. In turn, this has forced nearly 10,000 leprechauns into meaningless jobs such as Wal-Mart greeters. The decrease in the availability of gold coins has managed to yield an increase in something sadder than leprechaun unemployment: the leprechaun crime rate. Within the past month, leading up to this year’s St. Patrick’s Day, nearly 200 leprechauns have been arrested and sent to imprisonment in shoeboxes across the nation. Fort Knox has repeatedly fallen under attack of leprechaun gangs, which have ranged from 5 to 75 leprechauns at a time. Increased security has followed in the gold reserve and banks across the nation. Following the decrease in leprechaun activity, the sales of cauldrons and green baby clothes have dropped off the table. Rainbows, on the other hand, still appear as often as ever :). Fluffernutter O’Connell, who

hasn’t brought St. Patrick’s Day cheer in over 4 years, told us, “My

cauldron isn’t full anymore, and it isn’t half full either. It’s half empty.”

Leprechaun job market in the dumpstaylor hayesa&e editor

FA I L O F T H E M O N T H

funnypicsite.com

taylor hayes/staff

JFF16 JFF16

~SUDOKU~

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CrossText Game created by Cory Shaw

Where’s troy the trojan?

Do you see Troy any-where? We have hidden our friend Troy in this issue of the Laureate!

He could be hanging out on the back or hiding in Trojan Talk. It is up to you to find him. Once

you spot him, go see Mr. Henry in Room 906 to

claim your prize!

Advice from Courtney and Taylor

Riddles of the Month

1) A father’s child, a mother’s child, yet no one’s son. Who am I?

2) There is a frog, dead in the middle of an island. If he swims north, the

distance to the mainland is 2 metres. If he swims

south, the distance to the mainland is 3 metres. If

he swims east or west, the distance is 4 metres. Which

way does he swim?

1) I’m their daughter2) He doesn’t swim at all, he’s dead.3) It’s Pat’s sister

3) Pat Smith gives some-one a dollar. Pat is this

person’s brother, but the person is not Pat’s brother.

How can that be?

JFF 17Horoscopes

JFF 17

Dear No Date Ninny, Oh, rejection. Not only does your potential date dread it from you, you actually dread the act of rejecting. You don’t want to make him feel bad and you definitely don’t want to hurt his feelings. But if someone asks you on a date (or to prom, in this case) and you REALLY do not want to go, you are left with no choice but to let him down. This dilemma leaves you caught between a rock and a hard place, as you are positive you do not want to go with this guy, but he’s nice enough and you probably don’t want to hurt his feelings. There are a few ways to minimize his pain from the rejection and your feelings of awkwardness. First off, if you see this guy, run. Okay, not really, but try to avoid him at all costs. If he doesn’t see you, he can’t ask you to prom, right? That sounds mean, but maybe it will help get your point across. It isn’t like you are being mean; you are just making it really hard for him to find you. If he doesn’t find you, maybe he will forget about you and decide to ask someone else. While you are in the process of avoiding

him, see if any of your friends have a class with him and tell them to subtly drop him hints. Tell them to say you already have a date (even if you don’t), you don’t want to go, or that you don’t want to go with a date. Hopefully that will discourage him from asking you, and he will find another date by the time the dance rolls around. If this guy is slightly hard-headed and does not pick up on any hints, or he is dead set on asking you to prom (even if he can’t find you), you basically only have one option left: be honest with him. Tell him he’s a nice guy or a good friend, even if he isn’t. Don’t be rude, just say how you feel. This may be one of the more awkward moments of your high school career, but if you get stuck in this situation just think of how much MORE awkward it would be to be standing in “prom-date” pose on Saturday, March 27. You will feel better; he might be heartbroken but at least you were honest and kind about it. Just hope he doesn’t decide to ask you in a “cutesy” way in front of the entire school.

-Courtney

Dear No Date Ninny, Anytime someone asks you on a date or to prom and you really would rather go with someone else, the future of the relationship for you and the asker will imminently fall under the awkward category. This will occur whether or not you think the situation is awkward, but the guy/girl who asked you out feels kind-of extremely embarrassed about getting shut down like he’s late on the cable bill. Your parents always tell you that it’s better to tell the truth as opposed to lying, but sometimes a lie can turn out better for both parties in the long run. In a situation where you get asked by some guy/girl to prom and you just flat out do not have any desire to go with them, but you don’t want to hurt their feelings, simply tell them that you already have a date and you hope to see them there. The second portion (don’t want to hurt their feelings) of that white lie is optional, of course, only if you really just do not want to see them there and hope that they decide to not show up so you don’t have to talk to them. Unfortunately, by lying to little Johnny Peedmyself you know you must find a date to prom or not show up. Of course, you could show up without a date and send a nice emotional slap-in-the-face over to Johnny, who should realize that you just didn’t want to go with him because well…he pees himself a lot.

Face it, he’s like a month old puppy who tinkles a little bit every time you give him the littlest amount of attention, and it isn’t your fault that he’s attracted to you. Unrelated to prom, there falls a much more difficult situation to squirm out of than getting asked to prom: the date. Here’s a couple of breakdown situations and how to avoid any heartbreaks. Situation 1: You get asked to the movies by a guy/girl you don’t really talk to but you consider friendly. Resolution: Go to the movies with him…and 6 of your own friends. That will send the “friend-zone” message. Situation 2: You get asked to “hang-out together” or “chill sometime” by a guy/girl who you consider to be an acquaintance and nothing more. Resolution: Tell him that you want to go see a movie with him…and 6 of your own friends. Situation 3: You get asked to dinner by a guy/girl who you asked to borrow paper from in the middle of the geometry test last Tuesday. Resolution: Try to get transferred out of that class because that sounds like a classic stalker/first contact situation which may be unavoidable and end up really weird. All in all, if you get asked anywhere by anyone you would rather not go with, try and end the situation as kindly as possible and without your tires getting slashed the next morning.

-Taylor

Pisces (February 19-March 20): Your symbol is the Fish; your element is Water; your ruling planets are Neptune and Jupiter; and your lucky gem is the Moon Stone. You are easy-going with other people and are understanding of other people. Your strengths include that you are gentle and sagacious, while your weaknesses show that you covet to get out of the real world.

Aries (March 21-April 19): Your symbol is the Ram; your element is Fire; your ruling planet is Mars; and your lucky gem is Diamond. This period of time is always the state of something energetic. You’re competitive and eager to do something. Your strengths include courage and self-confidences and your weaknesses include impatience and conflicts. You prefer the outdoors instead of the indoors.

compiled by amrita banerjee/staff

Advice from Courtney and Taylor

“Could you just let me know if your mom hates me?”

Dear Courtney and Taylor, With prom coming up everyone is freaking out about getting a date. All my friends know this guy who is going to ask me to go with him. There is just one problem. I ab-solutely do not want to be his date. How do I let this kid know it is just not gonna happen, but in a nice way. Sincerely, No Date Ninny

Heard in the Halls

“Then I woke up and all I had was orange gloves on”

“You should just tell him to ride a horse, it will help”

“Everything I saw had a cat on it”

“The water slide tasted so good”

cate cash/staff

18 Sports18 SportsLassiter’s methodkevin ankerholzsports editor

Tourney Trendsto make a deep run in the tournament.

Another common misconception is the “hot streak” theory: Many people believe that teams entering the tournament on a multi-game winning streak will advance deep into the tournament. However, year after year, teams that are supposedly “on a roll” end up losing in the first or second round. For example, the 2006 Syracuse team entered the tournament on a roll, winning four straight close games to win the Big East tournament. For their late season heroics, the Orangemen were highly overrated and given a number 5 seed. Not surprisingly, the number 12 seeded Texas A&M decisively ousted Syracuse in the first round. Instead, when looking at a team’s record, consider early and late season victories equally, and remember that quality early season victories indicate a strong team. Another area to consider when evaluating teams is the home versus road records. A third common misconception is that a “successful road record is the mark of a g r e a t

team.” Winning on the road is significantly more difficult than winning at home, so even the best of teams will falter on their opponent’s floors. However, a truly great team rarely ever loses at home. For example, the 2006 champion Florida Gators had a measly 6-4 record on the road, but they had an impressive 21-2 record at home. Thus, one should consider a strong home record over a strong road record as a sign of a team poised for the Final Four. Despite the aforementioned advice, in order to win a large bracket pool, you must take some chances. In pools consisting of twenty or more people, the chances that many people have the same late round selections are very high. Thus, in order to set yourself apart from the pack, you will have to pick a surprise

team or two to advance to the Elite Eight or Final Four. If your Cinderella team makes it all the way, you will have a great chance

of winning, and if not, then there will always be next year!

The month of March is upon us, and you know what that means: March Madness is right around the corner. Considered the greatest sports tournament in the world, the NCAA Division I men’s basketball tournament features 65 college basketball teams all vying for the opportunity to be named the best team in the land. As a complement to the tournament, the practice of filling out projected tournament “brackets” and competing against friends and coworkers has become engrained into American culture. At Lassiter, March Madness fever is always strong, and many different groups of students create bracket pools (on Facebook, cbssports.com, espn.com, etc.) and compete against each other. Whether the competition is for money or simply for pride, everyone who fills out a bracket this March should follow some simple rules in order to maximize their chances of winning. First of all, when selecting teams to advance to the Elite Eight or Final Four, look at that team’s margin of victory over other quality opponents. A common misconception is that good teams “just find a way to win close games.” The truth is that close games are determined more by chance than by the actual strength of the team, so a team with a low margin of victory is likely overrated and will not find success in the tournament. On the other hand, a blowout margin of victory indicates a strong team that will likely

--Since 1979, only six overall number •one seeds have won the national championship (UNC in 1982, Duke in 1992, UCLA in 1995, Michigan State in 2000, Duke in 2001, and Florida in 2007).--Only once have all four number •one seeds reached the Final Four (Kansas, UCLA, UNC, and Memphis in 2008).--The championship game has •been a matchup of one seeds only six times (UNC versus Georgetown in 1982, UNC versus Michigan in 1993, UConn versus Duke in 1999, UNC versus Illinois in 2005, Florida versus Ohio State in 2007, and Kansas versus Memphis in 2008).--Only once have all the one, two, •and three seeds made it to the Sweet 16 (2009).--A number 16 seed has never •beaten a number one seed.--A number 15 seed has beaten a •number two seed only four times.--A number 14 seed has made it to •the Sweet 16 only twice.--A number 12 seed has only made •it to the Elite 8 once.--The lowest seeded team to make •the Final Four is an 11 seed.--As an eight seed, the 1985 •Villanova Wildcats are the lowest seeded team to ever win the championship.

Baseball The 2010 Lassiter Baseball team is done with preseason work outs and is now ready to embark on their way to the state playoffs. After last season ending in a second round defeat, the Trojans appear more than ready to bring the state title back to Lassiter. Led by deep pitching, strong bats, and great gloves, the Trojans seem more than equipped to win the region once again. Junior pitcher Andrew McClarnon said, “I have a great feeling about this season. We have some great pitchers who can really help us out along with the bats to back up the pitching. Hopefully in the end we will end up where we want to be.”

LacrosseAfter a phenomenal season, both the boy’s and girl’s lacrosse teams appear more than ready to show that last season’s achievements are not out of reach and that the program is among the elite. Led by exceptional talent,

the two teams are revving up their engines a n d preparing for

the long haul of the season.

Freshman Jared Gantt remarked,

“We lost a lot of good senior

players, but so did every

other team. I feel that we have a

lot of great talent top to bottom and we are more

than ready to go deep into the playoffs once again.”

Trojan spring sports spring into actionjack hermanstaff writer

SoccerBoth the boy’s and girl’s soccer teams have illustrious programs that obtain consistent success. Like most sports at Lassiter, both teams made the playoffs and tore it up. Each team went far and

had success. Even after losing some seniors, it’s a great feeling knowing that

our guys and girls feel more than c a p a b l e

of going b a c k to the s t a t e

playoffs a n d bringing home a

s t a t e title. Junior Jordan McCrary

commented, “Our team actually looks better than it was last year. I have a great feeling about this season. Top to bottom we have fantastic talent. Some guys to look out for are Brandon Barbero (sophomore), Shaban Abousaud (freshman), and PJ

Vesper (senior).”

ncaa.org

to March Madness

19Sports 19Sports

Lassiter senior Hilary Lynch exemplifies the meaning of the “student-athlete.” As a member of the varsity softball and track teams, Hilary knows the value of hard work, determination and perseverance. In early February, Hilary was recognized for her achievements by being named a recipient of the Bobbie Bailey Award for Athletic Excellence. Named after Dr. M. Bobbie Bailey, a longtime benefactor of Kennesaw State University women’s athletics, the prestigious award is given to one high achieving female athlete from each of 34 schools in Cobb, Cherokee, Paulding, Bartow, and Douglass counties. At the age of six, Hilary fell in love with softball. After years of playing recreational and competitive travel softball, Hilary entered high school ready to make a run at the varsity team. From the start of tryouts, Hilary’s great talent was evident, and she was selected for the varsity team as a freshman. From freshman to senior year, Hilary started at third base for the varsity Lady Trojans,

providing solid defense and hitting for a .392 batting average average. When asked about her favorite softball experience,

kevin ankerholzsports editor

Hilary Lynch receives Bobbie Bailey Award

Brandon Stephens, a four-year varsity letterman, has provided his fair share of sparks for the Lassiter Trojans baseball team. From launching his first pitch seen on the varsity team for a homerun to being named to the All- American Aflac game, perseverance and dedication have paved the way for his success. Starting at the age of six, Brandon has always showed a love for baseball. He obtained his love for the sport from his older brother Jake, who is now playing collegiate baseball. “I began playing baseball because of him. I would watch Jake play and I soon figured out that that is what I really wanted to do,” noted Stephens. Currently, when Brandon is not on the Lassiter diamond he is a member of the East Cobb Astros, arguably the most elite team in the nation. Either way, every game B r a n d o n shows off his skill set that m a k e s h i m

a prime, nationally known baseball player. A catcher by trade, Stephens has a devastatingly fast throw down to second and can

pick off any runner that strays too far off a base. Aside from catching, Brandon posses the makeup

and characteristics of an ace pitcher. Brandon’s fastball tops out at 92 miles per hour on the

radar gun, and he also has a knee buckling curve ball that leaves hitters in a fog. With such immense talent, Stephens had every option in the world for playing collegiately. After receiving offers from several SEC and ACC schools, Brandon committed to David Perno’s Georgia Bulldogs. With respect to his decision, Brandon remarked, “I always loved

the Georgia Bulldogs. I am a huge Bulldogs baseball and football fan. In the end I could

never see myself going anyplace else.” After graduation, Brandon will be enrolling and

be competing for the starting job as the University of Georgia

Bulldogs catcher as he hopes to help

c o n t r i b u t e to one of

the best baseball

Athlete of the Month: Brandon Stephensjack hermanstaff writer

hilary lynch/lhs studentHilary accepts the Bobbie Bailey Award, an honor given to thirty-four female ath-letes across the metro Atlanta area. Hilary exemplifies the Lassiter “student-athlete.”

programs in the nation. When not playing baseball Brandon is just like any other teenage guy. He enjoys hanging out with friends as well as playing video games. Also, he likes to work out, play basketball, and hang out with his family. His wide balance of sports, family, and friends allow him to always keep himself focused and concentrated on baseball and his studies. Brandon’s likeable personality allows him to work well with teammates and make others root for him under any circumstance. As aforementioned, his p e r s e v e r a n c e and dedication have made him extremely successful up to this p o i n t , and will allow him to continue his

success as he climbs the

b a s e b a l l l a d d e r .

georgiadogs.comlassiterbaseball.org

Hilary remarked, “Winning the state championship my sophomore year was amazing! I will never forget that moment! It was an indescribable feeling!” Aside from softball, Hilary has run track since freshman year. Competing in events such as the 400, 800, and 1600, Hilary has performed well enough to earn three varsity letters, and she aspires to earn her fourth letter this spring. When questioned about the student-athlete experience, Hilary remarked, “I value all of the great sports experiences I’ve had in high school. I especially treasure the friendships I have made through sports and school.” Outside of athletics, Hilary’s dedication has translated into academic excellence. Throughout high school, Hilary has challenged

herself by taking numerous honors and AP courses. She currently holds a 4.595 GPA, and she will graduate near the top of the class of 2010. Hilary is a member of both the National Honor Society and Mu Alpha Theta (math honor society), and she participates in community service opportunities through her church. When Hilary manages to find some free

time between all of her activities, she simply enjoys “hanging out with friends.” Next year, Hilary plans to attend Georgia Tech, possibly majoring in biology, physics, or biomechanical engineering. Whatever path she chooses, she will surely find success. “I just try to be the best that I can be everyday,” Hilary remarked. “If you do that, you will never have any regrets.”

Winterguard Performance

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Prom ticket sales

Prom ticket sales

Drama Spring Production

Academic Pep Rally

Dance Team TryouTs

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Deadline to register for May 1

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for April 10

ACT

Spring Breakbegins

Large Group Choral Performance Evaluation

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march 2010

Documents

state meet

years state title team

relay state title

consecutive state title

state of georgia

girls swim team

individual state champions

dive team