mastering the art of kindness - hilton · mastering the art of kindness. the power of kindness. you...

Introduction — 2 The Power of Kindness — 3

To Give is Better — 5 Kindness Travels — 7

Conclusion — 9

#DoubleTreeEffect

Mastering the Art of Kindness

Kindness doesn’t carry enough glamour or prestige in our society. We generally hear more about how we should aspire to be successful, creative, or productive. And yet, at their core, so many of the problems that individuals and organisations are trying to solve could be better addressed through kindness.

We are intuitively reminded of how powerful and serious kindness can be when someone is very kind to us. After such a moment, we’re often filled with an urge to go out and be kind to others; to be more tender, thoughtful, and generous. Kindness—we unexpectedly realise—isn’t merely for children in the schoolyard. It’s even more important in the supermarket, during the family holiday, and in the boardroom.

Alain de Botton

Kindness is at the heart of everything we do at DoubleTree by Hilton. We recently conducted research in the UK and found that kindness really does travel —being kind to one person, however small the act is, encourages people to pass that kindness on, creating a ripple effect.

Across the world, whenever a guest checks in to one of our 460+ hotels, they are welcomed with a warm chocolate-chip cookie upon arrival as the first act of hospitality from us to them. We’ve teamed up with The School of Life to explore the true value of kindness. We hope this inspires you to share your own kindness, however small the gesture might seem.

Dianna Vaughan Senior Vice President and Global Head, DoubleTree by Hilton


2. Introduction

DoubleTree by Hilton × The School of Life

Introduction


The Power of Kindness

You might not notice it in between the battles with giants, magic spells, or archery contests—but one of the great moments in the Greek epic The Odyssey is in fact an act of kindness. The hero and archetypal global traveller Odysseus finds himself at his lowest ebb, washed ashore after a shipwreck, the only one among his crew to survive. He clambers onto the sand and finds shelter under a bush. In the morning, the beautiful princess Nausicaä comes by with her maidens. He emerges from the shrub, falls to his knees, and humbly asks for her help. Despite her fear and uncertainty, she generously offers to take him in.

Why is this such an important moment? Firstly, because it requires a lot of bravery from both parties. And secondly, because of what follows: this act of kindness not only helps Odysseus, but also spreads to many others as the two characters build a new peaceful relationship between their countries. A simple act of kindness travels far.

Perhaps it’s not random that the generous person in this part of The Odyssey is a woman; women value kindness differently to men —and not just when it comes to shipwrecked strangers.

3. The Power of Kindness


Women are more likely to offer a smile to a stranger, and place more emphasis on remembering an event or occasion that is important to someone else. Women are also more likely to say there should be more kindness in the world compared to men. DoubleTree by Hilton Survey 2016.

The far-reaching effects of kindness are also reflected in the idea that often the best way to repay the author of a good deed or act of kindness is not in direct reciprocation, but to forward it on to the next person who crosses one’s path. One of the key thinkers who brought it into the modern world was the American polymath and politician Benjamin Franklin, who, in a letter to Benjamin Webb containing a gift of ten Louis d’Or, wrote, “I do not pretend to give such a sum; I only lend it to you. When you meet with another honest man in similar distress, you must pay me by lending this sum to him.” i Or as Lily Hardy Hammond wrote, “You don’t pay love back, you pay it forward.” ii A single act of kindness has a ripple effect, spreading from person to person and growing as it goes.

Researchers hypothesise that today, more than ever, people are able to see others from a universal perspective, recognising in others the same humanity. One of these researchers, the psychologist Steven Pinker, has theorised that our growing gentleness as a species has to do with our increased contact with those who are very different from us.




70% claim that even a simple smile

from a stranger could lift their mood.

DoubleTree by Hilton Survey 2016.




Nearly all people are kinder to others after someone is first kind to them. Moreover, three quarters believe acts of goodwill influence

further acts of kindness.


To Give is Better

Though ideally selfless, being kind can be a blessing for us as well. Shakespeare wrote that mercy “is twice blest; it blesseth him that gives and him that takes.” So too with kindness. The scientific consensus is also clear on the benefits of kindness, as the psychologist Martin Seligman reports, “we have found that doing a kind act produces the single most reliable momentary increase in well-being of any exercise we have tested.” iii

No matter how small, experiencing a few kind acts can radically change someone’s well-being.

This is supported by academic research, which reveals that performing small acts of kindness makes people happier over time.iv This works even better if you choose the acts of kindness yourself, and vary what you do from week to week. Further research shows that sharing kindness not only improves your physical health and makes you live longer, but also helps you reach the goals you set for yourself.v In short, there are a lot of selfish reasons to be selfless. Rather than see this cynically, we might view it as an indication of just how fundamental kindness is to a good life.

Kindness makes me

think positively, especially when I’m away from

my family.

Kindness is a quality that can never be

underestimated and it can energise you for the rest of the

day, even the rest of your holiday, if that’s

where it occurs.

Kindness is an essential element in gracious and joyful

living. It usually costs nothing to extend and when coupled with a smile, it can change

a day or a life.

[Kindness] provides warmth

and comfort and the feeling

that you are worth it.



6. To Give is Better



Kindness Travels

Kindness tends to have a greater impact when it is gifted during travel. On the one hand, as a species we’ve never travelled more safely: not too long ago a journey might involve leaving one’s home for many years and the possibility of treacherous paths, illness or getting lost for days. Today, we worry about ending up without a decent 4G network or our usual oversized latte. Yet we still wish one another “safe travels” because at some level we intuitively know that travel involves a certain kind of challenge. When travelling in an unfamiliar place, disoriented and without our usual bearings, we face events we don’t always understand and can’t predict. Travel is always a departure from home and our familiar surroundings, and therefore inherently involves opening ourselves to the unknown.

7. Kindness Travels


26% said that they are more likely to perform kind acts during a holiday.


Kindness during travel is often doubly moving because it comes from strangers, who have no obligation towards us; they are not even our neighbours, like the strangers at home. This sort of kindness comes from those who have little familiarity and can expect no future reciprocity; they simply look after us without expectation of reward. Because the kindness we give and receive during travel has less to do with reciprocity, we are far more likely to pay it forward. Indeed, while we meet an average of three strangers a day during ordinary life, we meet far more when travelling—which dramatically increases our opportunity to pass on a random act of kindness.vi The ripples of our kind actions travel further; their influence is even greater.


8. Kindness Travels


Conclusion

It might seem saccharine to speak about the need for more kindness, however it’s really one of the most powerful choices we could make at work, at home, in business and in politics. In fact, we likely don’t talk about the value of kindness, not because we think it won’t be effective, but rather because we underestimate how powerful it can be. By being kinder to others we may open ourselves to other people and find ourselves suddenly increasingly involved in their lives. We may even end up changing our lifestyle, our choices, our priorities. It’s potentially quite a big challenge, especially if we find ourselves slightly averse to change. To truly be kinder we have to take this possibility very seriously.

Of course, we won’t see the influence of our own kind acts on a global scale, but they are no less noble for not making the news. We should take heart that it’s not only likely that our good deeds will be deeply appreciated by others, but also that the effects of our kind acts will travel far further than we can see. It is important even on a small scale because even very small acts of kindness can immensely touch the lives of others, and because they in turn may carry this kindness forward to many more.

At a global scale, the influence of kindness is reassuring; at a personal level, it serves as an inspiration. Becoming kinder is, after all, one of the most important journeys we’ll ever begin.

“Kindness is the crux of relationships that are valued and helps life to run smoothly. I value those who offer help without my asking, a spirit of generosity that shows they think of others before themselves.”DoubleTree by Hilton Survey 2016.


9. Conclusion


To join the online conversation, use #DoubleTreeEffect “Kindness costs nothing but gives so much. It’s so easy to make a difference. It should be important to everyone.”DoubleTree by Hilton Survey 2016.


10. Conclusion

i Franklin, Benjamin. The Works of Benjamin Franklin: Containing Several Political and Historical Tracts Not Included in Any Former Edition, and Many Letters, Official and Private, Not Hitherto Published; with Notes and a Life of the Author. Vol. 9. Hilliard, Gray, 1840.

ii Hammond, Lily Hardy. In the garden of delight. Thomas Y. Crowell Company, 1916.

iii Pinker, Steven. The Better Angels of Our Nature: The Decline of Violence in History and its Causes. Penguin UK, 2011.

iv Doheny, Kathleen. “Acts of Kindness Can Make You Happier.” US News and World Report. N.p., 24 Jan. 2013. Web. 15 June 2016.

v Post, Stephen, and Jill Neimark. Why Good Things Happen to Good People: How to Live a Longer, Healthier, Happier Life by the Simple Act of Giving. Harmony Books, 2008.

vi DoubleTree by Hilton US Survey, 2016.


The School of Life The School of Life is devoted to developing emotional intelligence through the help of culture. We address such issues as how to find fulfilling work, how to master the art of relationships, how to understand one’s past, how to achieve calm and how better to understand, and where necessary change, the world.

DoubleTree by Hilton DoubleTree by Hilton is a fast-growing, global collection of more than 460 upscale hotels in gateway cities, metropolitan areas and vacation destinations across six continents. Everything about DoubleTree by Hilton aims to return the human touch to travel, starting with the presentation of a warm chocolate chip-cookie upon arrival and continuing throughout with team members dedicated to Creating a Rewarding Experience (CARE) for hotel guests, and the communities the brand proudly serves. For more information visit doubletree.com

Survey methodology On 27th April 2016, DoubleTree by Hilton conducted an online survey among a nationally representative sample of 2,000 British adults. The margin of error —which measures sampling variability—is +/-2.19%. The sample was nationally representative of the entire adult population of the United Kingdom based on age, gender and region. Discrepancies in or between totals are due to rounding.

mastering the art of kindness - hilton · mastering the art of kindness. the power of kindness. you...

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