MEDIATION

"New Literacy Set" project2015-2017

"Human beings love to be right. When a person is willing to give it up, it opens a whole world of possibilities. "

Pete Salmansohn

CONFLICTS

▪ Are conflicts necessary evil?

▪ Should we avoid them?

▪ Is there anything good in conflicts, and what does it depend on?

▪ Is it possible to solve the conflict in a peaceful and non-violent way?

▪ What is mediation, and how can it help to solve them that way?

WHY DO CONFLICTS EXIST?

▪ Unmet psychological needs

▪ Information (lack of information, wrong interpretation)

▪ Relationships where there is strong emotions

▪ Passive listening

▪ YOU messages

▪ General lack of understanding

▪ Limited resources that people compete for

▪ Different interests, values (ideology, religion)

▪ Prejudice, stereotyps, manipulation...

TRIGGERS

• Non-verbal or verbal

• Words, attitudes, movements

• Affect us to produce a negative reaction, strong emotions

• Draw attention from the REAL PROBLEMS

• BECOME AWARE OF THEM

• CONTROL THEM

DYNAMICS OF THE CONFLICT

POSITION

INTERESTS

NEEDS

POSITION• Visible during direct confrontation - at the beginning

• Complaint, demand, criticism, a firm stand

• Clearly expressed and visible attitudes, requirements, conditions, ready-made solutions that are put before the other side

• Expressed as "YOU" messages, or unrealistic / one-sided request

The conflict arises from different POSITIONS of conflicting parties!

• The actual personal reasons and motives that led the person to take a particular position and what he/she wants to achieve - reasons why people want, expect, willsomething

• Opinions, anxiety, previous conflicts and conscious or unconscious desires

• Usually are not spoken aloud - hidden, mostly out of fear

• It requires great skills to reach them - person turns to oneself and "I" speech appears

Identifying the common interests of the conflicting parties is usually a key point of conflict resolution!

INTERESTS

• Lead the main role in conflicts WITHOUT the conflicting parties being aware of them

• Something "without which people can not live"

• Abraham Maslow lists: physiological needs, the need for security, the need for belonging, the need for recognition, and the need for self-realization

• Feelings, motives, personal unresolved issues from the past that affect reactions (often unfulfilled needs like freedom, love, respect...)

• Drives people to various actions, including entering into conflicts in which they want to fulfill their needs, and which provokes certain attitudes

• Common to all, but differently expressed

NEEDS

MEDIATION

• Also called "conciliation" and "intervention", from Latin word mediare (split in half, intervene, to stand between two people)

• PARTIES of the conflict, with the HELP of a third party, THE MEDIATOR come up with a SOLUTION

• Voluntary process, the parties give consent or themselves initiate mediation

• Committed to dialogue, tolerance and non-violence, improving teamwork, builds cooperation, promotes negotiation

• The mediator is NEUTRAL• He helps the parties:

to be BETTER HEARD to know how to RECOGNIZE each other's FEELINGS to move away from their "cocooned" POSITIONS to hear each other's NEEDS to break down PREJUDICES to become aware of COMMON INTERESTS for the development of

future relations• The parties control the process• The basic idea is to empower the parties of the conflict and to achieve a

balance between both sides• The outcome of mediation is not binding for the participants – but there is

an ethical obligation

ACTIVE LISTENING:1. ASK QUESTIONS - open questions

- narrowing questions - guidance questions

2. PARAPHRASE3. SUMMARIZE 4. GIVE FEEDBACK5. REFLECT FEELINGS6. ENCOURAGE 7. FRACTION

THE MEDIATOR

TYPES OF MEDIATION• Mediation in court

• Family mediation

• Church mediation

• School mediation

• Mediation in the workplace

• International mediation

PEER MEDIATIONBenefits of peer mediators are:

- EASIER for them to IDENTIFY problems, needs, feelings and desires of their peers, as mediators are sometimes in their position- NO PRESSURE of authority of adults- the PROCESS IS ADJUSTED to age of their peers (expressions, terminology, application of the best methods and techniques)- LESS DEPENDENT on adult authority, and make more solutions themselves- DEVELOP communication, assertiveness, leadership skills and self-confidence- mediators have a POSITIVE IMPACT on other students, and the overall climate of the school is improving

PROCESS OF MEDIATION

STEP 1. INTRODUCTION – SETTING RULES

• WELCOMING and seating arrangement

• PRINCIPLES - mediation is voluntary, mediator impartial, solutions are to the mutual benefit of both sides

• RULES - appropriate expression (no insults, interrupting, swearing)

• Ask both parties if they AGREE with it, and if they want to add some important rule for them

PROCESS OF MEDIATIONSTEP 2. STORYTELLING

• First ONE STORY, then ANOTHER conflicting party

• Emphasize that everyone will have the RIGHT to say what they want, and that there is NO INTERRUPTING

• PARAPHRASE what you hear from each side

• Maintain EQUAL amounts of time, attention, interestfor both sides

• When someone interrupts it is important to RETURN to the agreed rules

PROCESS OF MEDIATIONSTEP 3. DETERMINING POSITIONS, INTERESTS AND NEEDS

• The MOST IMPORTANT moment of mediation, when the parties in the conflict are MOVED from their POSITIONS (what they demand) to the INTERESTS (true needs, desires, concerns)

• Here it is important to ACTIVELY LISTEN which is consisted of:1. ASKING QUESTIONS2. PARAPHRASING 3. SUMMARISING4. GIVING FEEDBACK 5. REFLECTING EMOTIONS6. ENCOURAGING 7. FRACTIONING

PROCESS OF MEDIATION

STEP 4. EXPLORATION OF POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS

• IDENTIFY and RANK the problems

• FIND A SOLUTION - which the parties SUGGEST THEMSELVES

PROCESS OF MEDIATION

STEP 5. SELECTING THE SOLUTION

• Focus the discussion on the MOST ACCEPTABLE possible solution, thinking about its CONSEQUENCES

PROCESS OF MEDIATIONSTEP 6. AGREEMENT

• Help the parties of the conflict to reach an agreement acceptable to both sides

• The agreement must be written

• It should contain answers to the questions: Who? What? When? Where?

• The agreement is signed

• Sanctions are agreed for non-compliance with the conditionsof the agreement

PROCESS OF MEDIATIONPOTENTIAL STEP - SEPARATE CONSULTATION

• NOT often

• If there is too much INTERFERENCE in the communication

• Mediator PAUSES the mediation

• Conducts SEPARATE consultations only with one side to correct the problems

THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION!