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Rocky Krogfoss

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Men, Sex + Food Why Hearing a Woman Can Lead to Deeper Love

Rocky Krogfoss

Copyright © 2015 Rocky Krogfoss

All rights reserved.

ISBN: 1507582226 ISBN-13: 13: 978-1507582220

DEDICATION

I dedicate this book to all the men who are on their healing

journey and to those who will join soon. It takes

tremendous courage to reach a place where your inner need

to release old programming becomes more important than

what everyone else thinks. When enough men have freed

themselves from the prison of being emotionally

unavailable, from their ego mind, from their societal and

family lineage programming, then people of this planet will

experience far less abuse, violence, and war. It will also be a

safer place for women and children

I would also like to dedicate this book to all the millions of

women who are leading the way on the journey to

empowerment through love, not anger. You are learning

very quickly your voice is valued and wise. You are learning

that your heart energy is precious and is not be given away

to anyone unless they first receive you in love, honor and

respect. The Inner Divine Goddess that is within every

woman is being called to thrive, not survive, heal rather

than cope. Claim your spot in the sun as an equal conscious

contributor to the wellbeing of all who inhabit this planet,

and the planet itself.

CONTENTS

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS i

INTRODUCTION 1

1 WHY IT IS IMPORTANT FOR MEN TO LEARN THIS ONE

LESSON

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2 HAVE I GOT YOUR ATTENTION GUYS? 6

3 FIX SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO FEEL – VERSION 1.0 8

4 THE CHIN IN HAND CHALLENGE 13

5 THE METAPHORIC ONE HOUR CLOCK 17

6 THE FOLLOW UP MEETING 2 WEEKS LATER 23

7 A FINAL MESSAGE FOR THE MEN 31

FINAL COMMENT FROM ROCKY 33

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INTRODUCTION

My book, Men, Sex + Food - Why Hearing a Woman Can Lead to Deeper Love is about something so simple, yet so massively undervalued and completely ignored by the general male population. I have written this book in a language style that men understand. There is a “guy conversation with guy language” with no intent to insult any woman who reads the book. I took a comical storied approach to teach men a very practical, critical, and new way to logically learn how to listen to women as well as comprehend why it is so important. My intention for this book is to bridge the huge communications roadblock and societal programming gap between men and women. The event that I describe is a true story from which the title Men, Sex and Food was birthed. If you are a man reading this book, you will learn how to allow your mind and your heart to receive much more love in relationship with all women, not just your beloved. If you are a woman reading this book, you will gain some insights into how you can invite your man to join you in this primal need that all women have to be empowered. Imagine how you would feel if you were fully heard in relationship with all men, including your beloved. Enjoy the read.

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CHAPTER 1 WHY IT IS IMPORTANT FOR MEN TO

LEARN THIS ONE LESSON

As an alternative healer, and a facilitator of men’s and women’s healing and empowerment workshops, there are three basic questions that had me inspired to search for answers::

1. Why do men have no idea how to hear a woman?

2. Why do men deny their feelings? 3. Why don’t women state with clarity what

they want from a man? And I was one of those men! My daughter, who is my greatest teacher, was

trying to share her feelings on something that was deeply hurting her. I tried to tell her how to fix it several times. She finally took the bull by the horn, so

Men, Sex + Food – Why Hearing a Woman Can Lead to Deeper Love

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to speak, and demanded that I stay silent and JUST HEAR HER without FIXING HER. I did so and as she spoke I could see her beginning to relax as if the tension was leaving her body.

My love and respect for her immense wisdom and healing talents kicked in and I began to learn for myself the magic that happens when you just listen.

A few days later, I woke up one night at exactly 3

am with a powerful feeling and an idea that I had to write down. Getting up I grabbed a pen and paper and began writing. What came forth was a comical role play to teach men a very simple, yet universally elusive skill. I was very excited as I wrote down every detail that I could remember and managed to fill up two pages of information. I was not sure what it all meant, but I would soon learn the significance of what I received.

When morning came, I put order into it, gave it structure, and walked out the door.

I dubbed it The Chin in Hand Challenge – the easy

way to fully hear a woman. Men who follow this process will reap the benefits of bringing love and harmony back into their relationship.

Although the sex and food is an open attempt to get men’s attention, the amorous and intimate benefits of learning this skill will dramatically increase your romantic closeness and intimacy. I refer to it as “In To Me See” (Intimacy).

When you take the time to understand this

Rocky Krogfoss

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listening process called The Chin in Hand Challenge, you will get some clarity on how a woman feels valued, heard, acknowledged, and loved. When a woman feels valued and loved and you are truly focusing on the “In To Me See”, she will bestow on you the unlimited love that you crave. I will dare to say that it is one of the best ways to open her heart to you and create instant closeness.

The secret to the chin in hand challenge is making a

commitment to put it into an action plan every day. You are literally reprogramming your mind. It takes time and practice.

The question men have asked many times is: Why doesn’t she understand that I am helping her

when I offer my advice? I find it easy to fix her stuff. Men, when you FULLY understand that she does

not need you to FIX her, but instead she needs you to hear her, you will have arrived! Right now your neurons are colliding at light speed in your brain. You need to understand WHY!!

This exercise will bring you both much closer

together. If you were to be honest, you would admit that the love that ignited your relationship originally has been constantly shrinking and creating more distance between you.

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CHAPTER 2 HAVE I GOT YOUR ATTENTION GUYS?

The next day, after I received The Chin in Hand Challenge I approached every woman I could and asked them two simple questions:

1. Would you please read this information I wrote down last night?

2. Do you know any men who can do this? Collectively, not only did they say no, but some of

them insisted that such a man does not exist. It became obvious to me that women have experienced a high level of frustration with men, and most men have absolutely no idea why.

Then I asked these same women. “If you did find a

man who knew this process and used it all the time, how would that make you feel?”

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Every woman said that he would be a keeper, and they would be much, much happier in their life.

Now, GUYS!! I am about to share something with

you that is so simple, you will not believe it. In fact, it will sound illogical and the ego logic inside you will say that is ridiculous.

If you learn and practice the The Chin in Hand Challenge on a regular basis, the love and harmony you have always wanted with your partner will arrive by the boat load.

Guys, the best part is that it is so easy to do.

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CHAPTER 3 FIX SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO FEEL – VERSION 1.0

In my younger days as an Alpha Male, women drove me crazy. I always found them to be so impractical. I had been well trained by my father and society in the art of Fix, Correct, or Make Better. I was a fully indoctrinated Alpha Male.

Every time a woman needed me to hear her, I fixed her, or interrupted her and never understood why she felt so sad or angry when offered my opinion to fix her stuff. I really believed, as most men do, that she was just being too emotional and was not hearing me. I saw that as an example of women just being so impractical.

Why won’t you just follow my brilliant advice, I am a

man, I fix things, what is the matter with you? I was a macho-ego guy right up until my mid-

thirties. I still have the scars on my knuckles.

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My life dramatically changed in my late thirties

when I was forced to seek healing for my wounded inner child pain from my abusive childhood. This single event catapulted me into the world of healing and empowerment.

In relationship, my intention always was that all

would be well and we could love each other for all time. I really wanted to love a woman fully but I did not have the tools to build and sustain that. My male programming of blocking my abilities to share my feelings authentically always led to a continual loss of love in relationship and in my marriage. I honestly did not have a clue how to love a woman or myself.

Thankfully life provided me with opportunities to

learn new skills. I had known deep love in relationship and the

heartache of love lost. Now I offer you the wisdom of lessons learned so you won`t have to experience painful losses of loving relationships.

What I have learned in my private practice is a very

large percentage of relationships between men and women have the Male Fixer Program running. In my experience, it is inevitable that that relationship will experience an emotional separation between the man and the woman, because the program practically but unintentionally, creates separation.

I call this program: Fix so you don’t have to feel –