B Y BEN GREENFIELD

P H O T O G R A P H S B Y ANDREW HETHERINGTON

HIGH-INTENSITY ACOUSTIC SOUND WAVE THERAPY

WHAT Shock wave therapy hasbeen used to break up kidney stones.The idea with the penis is to treat aroot physiological cause of erectiledysfunction: poor bloodflow. Eight to12 weeks after the procedure newblood vessels are supposed to growin the genitals, a process known asneovascularization.

HOW Use a clinic thatspecializes in this therapy.Simply smear on the numbingcream, lie back, and let themblast your crotch with a wandfor 20 minutes.

COST $3,000 to $5,000depending on the number oftreatments needed.

TIME COMMITMENT SevereED may require six to 12sessions, spread out overa year.

WHAT I EXPERIENCED apainless vibrating sensation,followed by nearly two monthsof nighttime erections as if Iwere 15 years old all over again.

EXPERT TAKE A studypublished in the journalTherapeutic Advances inUrology concluded that low-intensity shock-wave treatmentaimed outside the body “isa revolutionary treatment ofED and probably possessesunprecedented qualities thatcan rehabilitate erectile tissue.”

UNEXPECTED FINDINGS Thenumbing agent they put on mypenis wore off several hours laterwhile I was having dinner at aCuban restaurant with my 90-year-old grandmother. We were deepinto a conversation about diabeticglaucoma when I felt somethingtwitch in my loins, and I popped atent like a teenage on the bus. Iexcused myself from the table andwent to the bathroom to checkmyself. My penis was venous, big,and throbbing. Good thing I woretight jeans. After dinner, I gaveGrandma an awkward shouldersonly hug goodbye.

He wanted harder erections and stronger orgasms, so he exposed his equipment to unconventional procedures on the needle’s edge of penis enlargement. Why? Glad you asked. Allow him to explain.

Edited excerpts from Men’s Health article January/February 2018