Mess, Stability and the Elusive Balance

I am a creative person. And I love that. But you know what gets to me? As much as I love all the funIknowthat stability is important. And this makes me crazy. Because there are amazing things to do inthis world and they dont always fit into a neat schedule.

And my question is, as much as there is value in order, isnt there is so much value in flexibility andin enjoying the moment? Isnt there so much life in creating? I love activity.

So what if things get a little nuts.

Heres the thing, in the world of art, Im a mixed media collage, definitely not a still life.

Im a little bit of a mess.

There. I said it.

And guess what, Ill say it again. Im a mess.

Today I had a great conversation with a fellow coach. Before today, my mind would berate me. Yourea mess! Everything is chaotic!

Those words werea weapon of shame.

But not today.

Today I learned something cool;Maybe I am a mess. But maybe, (and heres the cool part) the factthat I can notice that is a sign of something important. Its letting me know what I value.

As much as I value creativity, I also value balance. When my house is a mess or my head feels like atornado I am not in balance. And that bothers me.

This is great! How awful would it be if I was an actual mess and didnt know it. Or didnt care.

Today when my mind tells meIm a mess Im looking at that as a gift! It informs me. Its like a healthywarning that Im not in line with my values.

Heres the deal; Creative people have a strong value around newness and change.But constantactivity breeds instabilityandwe also have other, often competing values. Values like making a living,raising a family, being a good mother, wife or friend.

So what happens next? Are we doomed to be forever in conflict?

The answer is; it depends. In order to find sanity we must be willing to let go of conflict and embracebalance.

Balance is tricky word. I used to equate balance with some other bad words, like boring, stillandlacking passion. I may have valued balance but I ran away from it like the plague please dont getme!!

Today Im looking at it through a new lens. Today, Im running towards it.

See, balance and conflict are actually not that different.Both ask us to deal withopposing forces. Butwhereas conflict is a tug of war, balance is a dance. We lean to the right and when we go too far welean to the left. Balance requiresmovement. Something which we creative people are very good at!

There are still two things. In my case, creativity and stability. But surrendering to the dance insteadof fighting with the elements is the key to balance.

So the big question to ask yourself is:

What do Ineed to obtain balance? What is your personal formula for honoring both creativity andresponsibility? For some, its90% stability and 10% creativity. For others its50%-50%.

So break it down, lets get real, whats your bottom line? Life is a lot simpler when wesurrender to theidea that we have things we really care about plenty of things wedont. The idea is to look at whatreally matters to you and consider everything else a bonus. If you do those other things, great if not,youll survive.

It takes honesty, but for us messy types the only way to get to achieve the incredible things we wantto accomplish is to realize that it takes a canvas to hold a painting. Everything needs parameters.What are the parameters that will allow you to achieve balance and create incredible work in theprocess?

So, to answer my question YES. There is so much life in creating. And YES there is value instability.And using your unique formula BOTH are possible.

Why is this important?

Creating your personal formula for success is important because it allows you to let go of the shame.It moves you from the conflict that leads to inaction.And it boxes upthe negative self talk so that youcan move into your power.

Im on a journey now. Im welcoming stability as a partner inthe dance, not an interloper. And withthat, Imserving G-d with everything He gave me and knowing with 1,000% certainty that all this, all

this mess, all this color is just what His world needs.

And thats why He made us.

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In case youre curious, heres my personal formula. I call it TheTripod of Accomplishment. The goal isto bottom line activities that matter to mein each of lifes areasand to consider everything else abonus. I chose a Tripod because its manageable. You are not going to regiment every part of yourlife if you are a creative person. You have tochoose the areas that most easily slip out of balance orget neglected.

Kids Supper/Homework/Bedtime

Job Writing/Coaching/ Teaching

Spiritual Prayer/Learning with Kids/ Personal Work

These are checkmarks that balance my life.Yours will be completely different. Having it on papermeans that when somethingcomes up I have to think twice about it because itsnotmy main focus.That something could be ultra responsible or ultra creative. Either way, Ill need to check in with myTripod.

If supper, homework and bedtime are taken care of I may or may not clean my kitchen. ( Hey, maybethe kids can clean it!) Having achieved my bottom line goals Im free to do whatever amazingthing Iwant to. I may clean it or spend time by myself or with my husband or write a novel. Who knows? Itall wide open!

My family is cared for. Im released from conflict. I am in balance and Im honoring the creative,responsible person that I am. I wont become Holly Homemakerovernight and I dont even want to!But I do want to be normal and knowing what my normal is sets me free.

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