MINI LESSON– paper presentation

HEADINGS LOOK LIKE THIS

Iman A. Student

Abernathy

English 8, 2

24 Aug. 2014

TITLES LOOK LIKE THIS

Iman A. Student

Abernathy

English 8, 2

25 Sept. 2014

I Dig Archaeology

TITLES DON’T LOOK LIKE THIS

Ima D. Student

Abernathy

English 8, 2

10 Oct. 2014

CAREER PARAGRAPH!

OR THIS

Ima D. Student

Abernathy

English 8, 2

5 May 2014

Why I should be a lawyer

PAPERS LOOK LIKE THIS

Iman A.Student

Abernathy

English 8, 2

10 Sept. 2014

Archaeology Rocks

Archaeology is the most interesting subject I have ever

encountered. There will be many more words that you, the

author, will write on this subject.

NOT THIS

Ima C. Student

Abernathy

English 8, 2

4 Nov. 2014

ARCHAEOLOGY ROCKS

Archaeology is the most interesting subject I have ever encountered. There will

be many more words that you, the author, will write on this subject.

RUN ON SENTENCES

• I have always loved archaeology it teaches one about a culture through old artifacts and ruins.

• Correction: I have always loved archaeology; it teaches one about a culture through old artifacts and ruins.

• I love to study ancient cultures, I wouldn’t mind going in the desert I can take the heat, I also love to travel.

• Correction: I love to study ancient cultures. I wouldn’t mind the desert because I can take the heat and I also love to travel.

NOUN/PRONOUN AGREEMENT

• I started sketching people and animals when I was four, then I would give it to my younger brother to color.

• Correction: I started sketching people and animals when I was four; then I would give them to my younger brother to color.

• Once I got a good idea of a character’s appearance, I would sketch them and sometimes color them.

• Correction: Once I got a good idea of a character’s appearance, I would sketch, and sometimes color, her.

CLARITY AND LOGIC

• I love all kinds of food, but if I had to choose one to be a job, I would be a baker.

• A food is not a job.

CLARITY AND LOGIC

• One of the best things I have ever felt is when I first see a batch of cookies come out of the oven.

• Feeling and seeing are two different senses.

CLARITY AND LOGIC

• My career that I would like to pursue is being a programmer…

• If it is already your career, then why would you pursue it?

CLARITY AND LOGIC

• People are always wondering, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

• What people think does not go in quotation marks. Quotes go in quotation marks.

CLARITY AND LOGIC

• When I was younger I used to play doctor with my brother where I was the doctor and he was the patient.

• Where is a place not a time.

CLARITY AND LOGIC

• To me it seems so interesting how the body works• So interesting that what? Finish the sentence.• Or how about: I am fascinated by how the body works.

VERB CHOICE

• I thought about a lot of things, of course one of them being what job I would have …

• Correction: I thought about a lot of things. One of them was what job I would have.

• And while we’re on the subject, ‘a lot’ is non-standard English and should not be used.

• The introductory phrase doesn’t really say anything; it is simply taking up space. Rephrase for a clearer and more interesting sentence.

SPLIT INFINITIVE

• I used to always play with them.• Correction: I always used to play with them.

ACTIVE VOICE

• I would like to be a programmer because it had gotten my interest early on and being able to work hard in such a fun way is always good.

• Correction: I would like to be a programmer because programming interested me early on and having fun while working hard is always good.

PUNCTUATION

• I became interested in fashion when I was very young!

• Correction: I became interested in fashion when I was very young.

• Do not overuse exclamation points. • Using an exclamation point is like laughing at your own

joke. You’d better not do it unless it is absolutely unavoidable.

REDUNDANCY

• I became interested in fashion at a young age. (first sentence of the paragraph)

• I have liked fashion since I was small. (fifth sentence of the paragraph)

• Check your paper to make sure that you have not repeated yourself.

PROOFREAD

Make sure that you:• Haven’t left out words• Haven’t misused a word• Have written as cleanly and concisely as you can• Have written exactly what you meant• Used the exact word that you needed rather than one that

would do• Edited all unnecessary words and tightened all phrases

• Go forth and

write a great paragraph.