misneach effective communication-dealingwithconflict_websiteversion
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www.pdst.ie© PDST 2015
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Effective Communication- Dealing with Conflict
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eWhat have you learned since
August’15
•What are the strengths of your leadership style?
•Are there liabilities attached to your style?
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Warmth and CompetenceActive Facilitation
Active Harm
Admiratio
n
Pit
y
Passive Facilitation
Passive Harm
Envy
Contemp
t
Competence HighLow
War
mth
Hig
hLo
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http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1364661306003299
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Leading from the front...
Great leaders connect emotionally•Create a balance between strategic and intimate relationships
See bigger picture issues-logical, formal, highly structured, protected, armoured –keep a safe distance
Engage in the intimate interactions-interested in the person not power, informal and humorous –’let the guard down’ –decision making is highly emotionally charged
Disagree and fight for alternatives –still maintain the hierarchical alliance
(Dr Philip Matthews NCI)
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Features of authentic leadership
•To move seamlessly between strategic and intimate
•Treat people in terms of potential rather than performance
•Intimate leadership needs to be spontaneous, to engage people, to have a laugh, to let the guard down
•Vital importance of trust (Dr Philip Matthews NCI)
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What Kind of Leadership?
More recent research has this to say:
One of the most reliable indicators and predictors of true leadership is an individual’s ability to find meaning in negative events and to learn from the most trying of circumstances...
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Difference is inevitable......
•‘if you please everyone, you aren’t making enough progress’ Mark Zuckerberg (Facebook)
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Without some conflict………
•Professional smugness•Focus on convergent thinking•Paucity of Innovation•Fear of Change •Teacher isolation•Teacher insulation•Orchestra
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Conflict is essential for Growth
•A driver of Change•Builds understanding of Difference•Fosters a culture of Open communication•Dissipates Anger and Frustration•Stimulates Professional Dialogue•Challenges the Status Quo•Motivates people to suggest ‘ANOTHER WAY’•‘Jazz-band’
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ePositive conflict- a necessary ‘tension’ for
improvement
How do you manage ‘creative tension’ for Change in your school?
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An Awareness
ofWhat is
A Vision of What could be
Managing CHANGE through positive CONFLICT
CREATIVE TENSION
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eStarting the conversation:
‘ Might there be another way?’
Worries ? Thinking ? What might you do ?
Concerns ? Knowledge ? How do we begin?
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Duratio
n30 second pitch 3 minute pitch 30 minute pitch
Where• Climbing the stairs• Staffroom
• Over Coffee in the Staffroom• At the Photocopier• After school
• Meeting with DP• Meeting with AP’s/YH’s• Subject Dept. Meeting• Staff Meeting
When• On the way to Class• Waiting for the kettle to
boil
• With Dolphins/Puppies• With Hibernating Bears
• Key Calendar moments
Why• Creating curiosity• Sowing a seed• Gauging
FEELINGS/EMOTIONS
• FACTS• THINKING• PROS v CONS
• CONSENSUS/DESIGN• PLANNING• ACTION• WHAT WE DO NEXT?
Focus • Heart • Head • Hands
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Thoughts on the groundwork
•How connected am I to others? The critical importance of the fundamental relationship...not a personal relationship but a professional, trusting one.
•Leaders get isolated if people are not being listened to....• Important to take the pulse:- (end of day/week activity)• Who have I lost touch with?• Who have I not spoken to?• Who has not sought my attention?• Who has not been listened to? (based on Séan Ruth)
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Listening
•‘You can listen people into agreement a lot more quickly that you can argue them!’ (S.Ruth)
•Focus on the problem-useful phrasesLet me see if I understand what you are saying..Tell me more....Why do you think that will work....Focus on feelings not behaviours...Build relationships.... (don’t rush in to rescue)
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Responding to Conflict
•Self Control ( Awareness, Self Talk) •Win/Win ( Needs first, solutions
later) •Prepare•Listen and Clarify ( Focus on the
problem, not the person) •Explore Options •Discuss supports •Agree follow up •Record (Adapted from” Leadership and Liberation” Sean
Ruth )
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Responding to Conflict
Win/Win!! What do you need?
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But when conflict turns toxic….•Individual Stress
•Absenteeism
•Staff Morale
•Education Dysfunction
•Stunting of Mission/Vision
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The personal toll
•Small ‘t s’-humiliation, shaming ,aggression, embarrassment unkindness.....dealing with this using reason and logic fails to resolve it –a scar remains. Induce calm and develop an awareness of what you are experiencing ( the triggers / the origin) then seek solace/supervision?
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eRaising awareness of the
personal toll•Emotional fitness- ‘developing emotional fitness, literacy, maintenance and depth is understood to contribute to sustainable personal and professional growth and school change’
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eOrdinary people doing an
extraordinary job!!Certain indisputable facts:-•We are all vulnerable•We will face challenges and encounter crises
•We underestimate our capacity to cope
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The ‘Myth’ of the Complete Leader
Recent research is encouraging:
‘hundreds of people have struggled under the weight of the myth of the ‘complete’ leader! It is now becoming clear that an ‘incomplete leader’
who is authentic is likely to be more effective’
Ancona, Malone & Senge ‘In Praise of the Incomplete Leader (2011) HBR