monsieur, madame, and bebe — volume 01 by droz, gustave, 1832-1895

8/14/2019 Monsieur, Madame, and Bebe Volume 01 by Droz, Gustave, 1832-1895

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MONSIEUR,MADAMEANDBEBE

ByGUSTAVEDROZ

Antoine-GustaveDrozwasborninParis,June9,1832.HewasthesonofJules-AntoineDroz,acelebratedFrenchsculptor,andgrandsonofJeanPierreDroz,masterofthemintandmedalistundertheDirectoire.ThefamilyisofSwissorigin.GustaveenteredL'EcoledesBeauxArtsandbecamequiteanotedartist,comingoutintheSalonof1857withthe

painting'L'OboledeCesar'.Healsoexhibitedalittlelatervarious'tableauxdegenre':'Buffetdechemindefer'(1863),'AlaSacristie'and'UnSuccesdeSalon'(1864),'MonsieurleCure,vousavezRaison'and'UnFroidSec'(1865).

Towardthisperiod,however,heabandonedtheartofpaintingandlaunchedonthecareerofanauthor,contributingunderthenameofGustaveZ....to'LaVieParisienne'.Hisarticlesfoundgreatfavor,heshowedhimselfanexquisiteraconteur,asharpobserverofintimatefamilylife,andamostpenetratinganalyst.Theverygallantsketches,laterreunitedin'Monsieur,Madame,etBebe'(1866),andcrownedbytheAcademy,havegonethroughmanyeditions.'Entrenous'(1867)and'UneFemmegenante',arewritteninthesamehumorousstrain,andprocuredhim

manyadmirersbythevivaciousandsparklingrepresentationsofbachelorandconnubiallife.However,Drozknowsverywellwheretodrawtheline,andhasformallydisavowedalasciviousnovelpublishedinBelgium--'UnEtealacampagne',often,buterroneously,attributedtohim.

ItseemsthatGustaveDrozlaterjoinedthepessimisticcamp.Hisworks,atleast,indicateotherqualitiesthanthosewhichgainedforhimthefavorofthereadingpublic.Hebecomesamoreingeniousromancer,amoredelicatepsychologist.Ifsomeofhissketchesarerealistic,wemustconsiderthatrealismisnotintended'pourlesjeunesfillesdu


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pensiannat'.

Besidetheworksmentionedintheabovetext,GustaveDrozwrote:'LeCahierbleudeMademoiselleCibot(1868),'Auteurd'uneSource(1869),'UnPaquetdeLettres'(1870),'Babolain'(1872),'LesEtangs'(1875),'TristessesetSourires(1883),andL'Enfant(1884).

HediedinParis,October22,1895.

CAMILLEDOUCETdel'AcademieFrancaise.

CHAPTERI

MYFIRSTSUPPERPARTY

ThedeviltakemeifIcanrememberhername,notwithstandingIdearlylovedher,thecharminggirl!

Itisstrangehowrichwefindourselveswhenwerummageinolddrawers;

howmanyforgottensighs,howmanyprettylittletrinkets,broken,old-fashioned,anddusty,wecomeacross.Butnomatter.Iwasnoweighteen,and,uponmyhonor,veryunsuspecting.Itwasinthearmsofthatdear--Ihavehernameatthetipofmytongue,itendedin"ine"--itwasinherarms,thedearchild,thatImurmuredmyfirstwordsoflove,whileIwasclosetoherroundedshoulder,whichhadaprettylittlemole,whereIimprintedmyfirstkiss.Iadoredher,andshereturnedmyaffection.

IreallythinkIshouldhavemarriedher,andthatcheerfully,Icanassureyou,ifithadnotbeenthatoncertaindetailsofmoralweaknessherpastlifeinspiredmewithdoubts,andherpresentwithuneasiness.Nomanisperfect;Iwasatriflejealous.

Well,oneevening--itwasChristmaseve--IcalledtotakehertosupperwithafriendofminewhomIesteemedmuch,andwhobecameanexaminingmagistrate,Idonotknowwhere,butheisnowdead.

Iwentupstairstotheroomofthesweetgirl,andwasquitesurprisedtofindherreadytostart.Shehadon,Iremember,asquare-cutbodice,alittletoolowtomytaste,butitbecamehersowellthatwhensheembracedmeIwastemptedtosay:"Isay,pet,supposeweremainhere";butshetookmyarm,hummingafavoriteairofhers,andwesoonfoundourselvesinthestreet.

Youhaveexperienced,haveyounot,thisfirstjoyoftheyouthwhoat

oncebecomesamanwhenhehashissweetheartonhisarm?Hetremblesathisboldness,andscentsonthemorrowthepaternalrod;yetallthesefearsaredissipatedinthepresenceoftheineffablehappinessofthemoment.Heisfree,heisaman,heloves,heisloved,heisconsciousthatheistakingaforwardstepinlife.HewouldlikeallParistoseehimthus,yetheisafraidofbeingrecognized;hewouldgivehislittlefingertogrowthreehairsonhisupperlip,andtohaveawrinkleonhisbrow,tobeabletosmokeacigarwithoutbeingsick,andtopolishoffaglassofpunchwithoutcoughing.


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Whenwereachedmyfriend's,theaforesaidexaminingmagistrate,wefoundanumerouscompany;fromtheanteroomwecouldhearburstsoflaughter,noisyconversation,accompaniedbytheclatterofplateandcrockery,whichwasbeingplaceduponthetable.Iwasalittleexcited;IknewthatIwastheyoungestoftheparty,andIwasafraidofappearingawkwardonthatnightofrevelry.Isaidtomyself:"Oldboy,youmustfacethemusic,dothegrand,andtakeyourliquorlikealittleman;yoursweetheartishere,andhereyesarefixedonyou."Theidea,however,thatImightbeillnextmorningdidindeedtroubleme;inmymind'seye,Isawmypoormotherbringingmeacupoftea,andweepingovermyexcesses,butIchasedawayallsuchthoughtsandreallyallwentwelluptillsuppertime.Mysweethearthadbeenpulledaboutalittle,nodoubt;oneortwomenhadevenkissedherundermyverynose,butIatoncesetdownthesedetailstotheprofitandlosscolumn,andinallsincerityIwasproudandhappy.

"Myyoungfriends,"suddenlyexclaimedourhost,"itistimetouseyourforksvigorously.Letusadjourntothediningroom."

Joyfulshoutsgreetedthesewords,and,amidgreatdisorder,theguestsarrangedthemselvesroundthetable,ateachendofwhichInoticedtwoplatesfilledupwiththosebigcigarsofwhichIcouldnotsmokeaquarterwithouthavingafitofcoldshivers.

"Thosecigarswillleadtoacatastrophe,ifIdon'tuseprudenceanddissemble,"saidItomyself.

Idonotknowhowitwas,butmysweetheartfoundherselfseatedontheleftofthehost.Ididnotlikethat,butwhatcouldIsay?Andthen,thesaidhost,withhistwenty-fivesummers,hismoustachecurledupattheends,andhisself-assurance,seemedtomethemostideal,themostastoundingofyoungdevils,andIfeltforhimashadeofrespect.

"Well,"hesaid,withcaptivatingvolubility,"youarefeelingyourselfathome,areyounot?Youknowanyguestwhofeelsuncomfortableinhiscoatmaytakeitoff...andtheladies,too.Ha!ha!ha!That'sthewaytomakeone'sselfhappy,isitnot,mylittledears?"

Andbeforehehadfinishedlaughingheprintedakissrightandleftonthenecksofhistwoneighbors,oneofwhom,asIhavealreadysaid,wasmybeloved.

Theill-breddog!Ifeltmyhairriseonendandmyfaceglowlikered-hotiron.Fortherest,everybodyburstoutlaughing,andfromthatmomentthesupperwentonwithincreasedanimation.

"Myyoungfriends,"wastheremarkofthatinfernalexaminingmagistrate,"letusattackthecoldmeat,thesausages,theturkey,thesalad;letusatthecakes,thecheese,theoysters,andthegrapes;letusattackthewholeshow.Waiter,drawthecorksandwewilleatupeverythingatonce,eh,mycherubs?Noceremony,nofalsedelicacy.Thisisfinefun;

itisOriental,itissplendid.InthecentreofAfricaeverybodyactsinthismanner.Wemustintroducepoetryintoourpleasures.Passmesomecheesewithmyturkey.Ha!ha!ha!Ifeelqueer,Iamwild,Iamcrazy,amInot,pets?"Andhebestowedtwomorekisses,asbefore.IfIhadnotbeenalreadydrunk,uponmyhonor,Ishouldhavemadeascene.

Iwasstupid.Aroundmetheywerelaughing,shouting,singing,andrattlingtheirplates.Aracketofpoppingcorksandbreakingglassesbuzzedinmyears,butitseemedtomethatacloudhadrisenbetweenmeandtheouterworld;aveilseparatedmefromtheotherguests,and,


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inspiteoftheevidenceofmysenses,IthoughtIwasdreaming.Icoulddistinguish,however,thoughinaconfusedmanner,theanimatedglancesandheightenedcoloroftheguests,and,aboveall,adisorderquitenewtomeinthetoilettesoftheladies.Evenmysweetheartappearedtohavechanged.Suddenly--itwasasaflashoflightning--mybeloved,myangel,myideal,shewhomthatverymorningIwasreadytomarry,leanedtowardtheexaminingmagistrateand--Istillfeelthecoldshudder--devouredthreetruffleswhichwereonhisplate.

Iexperiencedkeenanguish;itseemedtomeasifmyheartwerebreakingjustthen.

Heremyrecollectionscease.WhatthentookplaceIdonotknow.AllIrememberisthatsomeonetookmehomeinacab.Ikeptasking:"Whereisshe?Where?Oh,where?"

Iwastoldthatshehadlefttwohoursbefore.ThenextmorningIexperiencedakeensenseofdespairwhenthetrufflesoftheexaminingmagistratecamebacktomind.ForamomentIhadavagueideaofenteringuponholyorders,buttime--youknowwhatitis--calmedmytroubledbreast.Butwhatthedevilwashername?Itendedin"ine."Indeed,no,Ibelieveitendedin"a."

CHAPTERII

THESOULINAGONY.

TOMONSIEURCLAUDEDEL--------

SeminaryofP------sur-C-------

(Haute-Saone).

Itaffordsmeunspeakablepleasuretositdowntoaddressyou,dear

Claude.MustItellyouthatIcannotthinkwithoutpiousemotionofthatlifewhichbutyesterdaywewereleadingtogetherattheJesuits'College.HowwellIrememberourlongtalksunderthegreattrees,thepiouspilgrimageswedailymadetotheFatherSuperior'sCalvary,ourcharmingreadings,thedartingforthofourtwosoulstowardtheeternalsourceofallgreatnessandallgoodness.Icanstillseethelittlechapelwhichyoufitteduponedayinyourdesk,theprettywaxtaperswemadeforit,whichwelightedonedayduringthecosmographyclass.

Oh,sweetrecollections,howdearyouaretome!Charmingdetailsofacalmandholylife,withwhathappinessdoIrecallyou!Timeinseparatingyoufrommeseemsonlytohavebroughtyounearerinrecollection.Ihaveseenlife,alas!duringthesesixlongmonths,but,

inacquiringaknowledgeoftheworld,Ihavelearnedtolovestillmoretheinnocentignoranceofmypastexistence.Wiserthanmyself,youhaveremainedintheserviceoftheLord;youhaveunderstoodthedivinemissionwhichhadbeenreservedforyou;youhavebeenunwillingtostepovertheprofanethresholdandtoentertheworld,thatcavern,Ioughttosay,inwhichIamnowassailed,tossedaboutlikeafrailbarkduringatempest.Nay,theangerofthewavesoftheseacomparedtothatofthepassionsismerechild'splay.Happyfriend,whoartignorantofwhatIhavelearned.Happyfriend,whoseeyeshavenotyetmeasuredtheabyssintowhichminearealreadysunk.


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ButwhatwasItodo?WasInotobliged--despitemyvocationandthetenderfriendshipwhichcalledmetoyourside--wasInotobliged,Isay,tosubmittotheexigenciesimposedbythenameIbear,andalsotothewillofmyfather,whodestinedmeforamilitarycareerinordertodefendanoblecausewhichyoutoowoulddefend?Inshort,IobeyedandquittedthecollegeoftheFathersnevertoreturnagain.

Iwentintotheworld,myheartchargedwiththesalutaryfearswhichourpiouseducationhadcausedtogrowupthere.Iadvancedcautiously,butverysoonrecoiledhorror-stricken.Iameighteen;Iamstillyoung,Iknow,butIhavealreadyreflectedmuch,whiletheexperienceofmypiousinstructorshasimpartedtomysoulaprecociousmaturitywhichenablesmetojudgeofmanythings;besidesmyfaithissofirmlyestablishedandsodeeplyrootedinmybeing,thatIcanlookaboutmewithoutdanger.Idonotfearformyownsalvation,butIamshockedwhenIthinkofthefutureofourmodernsociety,andIpraytheLordfervently,fromaheartuntaintedbysin,nottoturnawayHiscountenanceinwrathfromourunhappycountry.Evenhere,attheseatofmycousin,theMarchionessK------deC------,whereIamatthepresentmoment,Icandiscovernothingbutfrivolityamongthemen,anddangerouscoquetryamongthewomen.TheperniciousatmosphereoftheperiodseemstopervadeeventhehighestrankoftheFrencharistocracy.Sometimesdiscussionsoccuronmatterspertainingtoscienceandmorals,whichaim

akindofindirectblowatreligionitself,ofwhichourHolyFatherthePopeshouldalonebecalledontodecide.InthiswayGodpermits,atthepresentday,certainpettysavants,flat-headedmenofscience,toexplaininanovelfashiontheoriginofhumanity,and,despitetheexcommunicationwhichwillcertainlyovertakethem,tothrowdownawildandimpiouschallengeatthemostvenerabletraditions.

Ihavenotmyselfdesiredtobeenlightenedinregardtosuchbasedepravity,butIhaveheardwithpoignantgriefmenwithgreatmindsandillustriousnamesattachsomeimportancetoit.

Astomannersandcustoms,theyare,withoutbeingimmoral,whichwouldbeoutofthequestioninoursociety,distinguishedbyafrivolityanda

facultyforbeingcarriedawaywithallurementswhichareshockingintheextreme.Iwillonlygiveyouasingleexampleofthis,althoughitisonethathasstruckmemostforcibly.

Tenminutes'walkfromthehousethereisacharminglittlestreamovershadowedbyspreadingwillows;thecurrentisslight,thewaterpellucid,andthebedcoveredwithsandsofinethatone'sfeetsinkintoitlikeacarpet.Now,wouldyoubelieveit,dearfriend,that,inthishotweather,allthosestayingatthehousegoatthesametime,together,and,withoutdistinctionofsex,batheinit?Asimplegarmentofthinstuff,andverytight,somewhatimperfectlyscreensthestrangelydaringmodestyoftheladies.Forgiveme,mypiousfriend,forenteringintoallthesedetails,andfortroublingthepeacefulnessofyoursoul

bythispictureofworldlyscenes,butIpromisedtosharewithyoumyimpressions,aswellasmymostsecretthoughts.ItisasacredcontractwhichIamfulfilling.

Iwill,therefore,acknowledgethatthesebathingscenesshockedmegreatly,thefirsttimeIheardthemspokenof.Iresenteditwithaspeciesofdisgusteasytounderstand,whileIpositivelyrefusedtotakepartinthem.Tospeakthetruth,Iwaschafedalittle;still,theseworldlyrailleriescouldnottouchme,andhadnoeffectonmydetermination.


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Yesterday,however,aboutfiveintheafternoon,theMarchionesssentforme,andmanagedtheaffairsoneatly,thatitwasimpossibleformenottoactasherescort.

Westarted.ThemaidcarriedthebathingcostumesbothoftheMarchionessandofmysister,whowastojoinuslater.

"Iknow,"saidmycousin,"thatyouswimwell;thefameofyourabilitieshasreachedusherefromyourcollege.Youaregoingtoteachmetofloat,eh,Robert?"

"Idonotsetmuchstorebysuchpaltryphysicalacquirements,cousin,"Ireplied;"Iswimfairly,nothingmore."

AndIturnedmyheadtoavoidanextremelypenetratingaromawithwhichherhairwasimpregnated.YouknowverywellthatIamsubjecttonervousattacks.

"But,mydearchild,physicaladvantagesarenotsomuchtobedespised."

This"dearchild"displeasedmemuch.Mycousinistwenty-six,itistrue,butIamnolonger,properlyspeaking,a"dearchild,"andbesides,itdenotedafamiliaritywhichIdidnotcarefor.Itwas,onthepart

oftheMarchioness,oneoftheconsequencesofthatfrivolityofmind,thatcarelessnessofspeechwhichImentionedabove,andnothingmore;still,Iwasshockedatit.Shewenton:

"Exaggeratedmodestyisnotgoodforminsociety,"shesaid,turningtowardmewithasmile."Youwill,intime,makeaveryhandsomecavalier,mydearRobert,andthatwhichyounowlackiseasytoacquire.Forinstance,youshouldhaveyourhairdressedbytheMarquis'svalet.Hewilldoitadmirably,andthenyouwillbecharming."

Youmustunderstand,mydearClaude,thatImettheseadvanceswithafrigidityofmannerthatleftnodoubtastomyintentions.

"Irepeat,mycousin,"saidItoher,"Iattachtoallthisverylittleimportance,"andIemphasizedmywordsbyafirmandicylook.Thenonly,forIhadnotbeforecastmyeyesonher,didInoticethepeculiareleganceofhertoilette,aneleganceforwhich,unhappily,theperishablebeautyofherpersonservedasapretextandanencouragement.

Herarmswerebare,andherwristscoveredwithbracelets;theupperpartofherneckwasinsufficientlyveiledbythetooslightfabricofatransparentgauze;inshort,thedesiretopleasewasdisplayedinherbyallthedetailsofherappearance.Iwasstirredattheaspectofsomuchfrivolity,andIfeltmyselfblushforpity,almostforshame.

Wereached,atlength,thevergeofthestream.Sheloosedmyarmand

unceremoniouslysliddown,Icannotsayseatedherself,uponthegrass,throwingbackthelongcurlsdependingfromherchignon.Thewordchignon,inthelanguageofsociety,denotesthatprominenceofthecraniumwhichistobeseenatthebackofladies'heads.Itisproducedbymakingcoilsorplaitsoftheirlonghair.Ihavecausetobelieve,fromcertainallusionsIhaveheard,thatmanyofthesechignonsarenotnatural.Therearewomen,mostworthydaughtersofEve,whopurchaseforgoldthehair--horyescoreferens--ofthewretchedorthedead.Itsickensone.


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"Itisexcessivelyhot,mydearcousin,"saidshe,fanningherself."ItrembleeverymomentinsuchweatherlestMonsieurdeBeaurenard'snoseshouldexplodeorcatchfire.Ha,ha,ha.UponmywordofhonorIdo."

Sheexplodedwithlaughteratthisjoke,anunbecomingone,andwithoutmuchpoint.MonsieurdeBeaurenardisafriendoftheMarquis,whohappenstohaveahighcolor.Outofpoliteness,Iforcedasmile,whichshe,nodoubt,tookforapprobation,forshethenlaunchedoutintoconversation--anindescribableflowofchatter,blendingthemostprofanesentimentswiththestrangestreligiousideas,thequietofthecountrywiththewhirlofsociety,andallthiswithafreedomofgesture,acharmofexpression,asubtletyofglance,andaspeciesofearthlypoesy,bywhichanyothersoulthanminewouldhavebeenseduced.

"Thisisaprettyspot,thischarminglittlenook,isitnot?"

"Certainly,mydearcousin."

"Andtheseoldwillowswiththeirlargetopsoverhangingthestream;seehowthefield-flowersclustergaylyabouttheirbatteredtrunks!Howstrange,too,thatyoungfoliage,soelegant,sosilvery,thosebranchessoslenderandsosupple!Somuchelegance,freshnessandyouthshootingupfromthatoldtrunkwhichseemsasifaccursed!"

"Goddoesnotcurseavegetable,mycousin."

"Thatispossible;butIcannothelpfindinginwillowssomethingwhichissuggestiveofhumanity.Perpetualoldageresemblespunishment.Thatoldreprobateofthebankthereisexpiatingandsuffering,thatoldQuasimodoofthefields.WhatwouldyouthatIshoulddoaboutit,mycousin,forthatistheimpressionthatitgivesme?Whatistheretotellmethatthewillowisnotthefinalincarnationofanimpenitentangler?"Andsheburstoutlaughing.

"Thosearepaganideas,andassucharesoopposedtothedogmasoffaith,thatIamobliged,inordertoexplaintheircomingfromyour

mouth,tosupposethatyouaretryingtomakeafoolofme."

"Nottheleastintheworld;Iamnotmakingfunofyou,mydearRobert.Youarenotababy,youknow!Come,goandgetreadyforaswim;Iwillgointomydressing-tentanddothesame."

Shesalutedmewithherhand,assheliftedoneofthesidesofthetent,withunmistakablecoquetry.Whatastrangemysteryistheheartofwoman!

Isoughtoutaspotshadedbythebushes,thinkingoverthesethings;butitwasnotlongbeforeIhadgotintomybathingcostume.Ithoughtofyou,mypiousfriend,asIwasbuttoningtheneckandthewristsofthis

conventionalgarment.HowmanytimeshaveyounothelpedmetoexecutethislittletaskaboutwhichIwassoawkward.Briefly,Ienteredthewaterandwasabouttostrikeoutwhenthesoundofthemarchioness'svoiceassailedmyears.Shewastalkingwithhermaidinsidethetent.Istoppedandlistened;notoutofguiltycuriosity,Icanassureyou,butoutofasincerewishtobecomebetteracquaintedwiththatsoul.

"No,no,Julie,"themarchionesswassaying."No,no;Iwon'thearyousayanymoreaboutthatfrightfulwaterproofcap.Thewatergetsinsideanddoesnotcomeout.Twistupmyhairinanet;nothingmoreis


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required."

"Yourladyship'shairwillgetwet."

"Thenyoucanpowderit.Nothingisbetterfordryingthanpowder.Andso,Ishallwearmylightbluedressthisevening;blondpowderwillgowithitexactly.Mychild,youarebecomingfoolish.Itoldyoutoshortenmybathingcostume,bytakingitupattheknees.Justseewhatitlookslike!"

"Iwasfearfulthatyourladyshipwouldfindittootightforswimming."

"Tight!Thenwhyhaveyoutakenitinthreegoodinchesjusthere?Seehowitwrinklesup;itisridiculous,don'tyouseeit,mygirl,don'tyouseeit?"

Thesidesofthetentweremoved;andIguessedthatmycousinwassomewhatimpatientlyassumingthecostumeinquestion,inorderthebettertopointoutitsdefectstohermaid.

"Idon'twanttolookasifIwerewoundupinasheet,butyetIwanttobeleftfreedomofaction.Youcannotgetitintoyourhead,Julie,thatthismaterialwillnotstretch.YouseenowthatIstoopalittle-Ah!youseeitatlast,that'swell."

Weakminds!Isitnottrue,mypiousfriend,thattherearethosewhocanbeabsorbedbysuchsmallmatters?IfindthesepreoccupationstobesofrivolousthatIwaspainedatbeingeventheinvoluntaryrecipientofthem,andIsplashedthewaterwithmyhandstoannouncemypresenceandputastoptoaconversationwhichshockedme.

"Iamcomingtoyou,Robert;getintothewater.Hasyoursisterarrivedyet?"saidmycousin,raisinghervoice;thensoftly,andaddressinghermaid,sheadded:"Yes,ofcourse,laceittightly.Iwantsupport."

Onesideofthetentwasraised,andmyrelativeappeared.IknownotwhyIshuddered,asifattheapproachofsomedanger.Sheadvancedtwo

orthreestepsonthefinesand,drawingfromherfingersasshedidso,thegoldringsshewasaccustomedtowear;thenshestopped,handedthemtoJulie,and,withamovementwhichIcanseenow,butwhichitisimpossibleformetodescribetoyou,kickedoffintothegrasstheslippers,withredbows,whichenvelopedherfeet.

Shehadonlytakenthreepaces,butitsufficedtoenablemetoremarkthesingularityofhergait.Shewalkedwithshort,timidsteps,herbarearmsclosetohersides.

Shehaddivestedherselfofalltheoutwardtokensofawoman,savethetressesofherhair,whichwererolledupinanet.Asfortherest,shewasacomical-lookingyoungman,atonceslenderyetafflictedbyan

unnaturalplumpness,oneofthosebeingswhoappeartousindreams,andinthedeliriumoffever,oneofthosecreaturestowardwhomanunknownpowerattractsus,andwhoresembleangelstoonearlynottobedemons.

"Well,Robert,ofwhatareyouthinking?Givemeyourhandandhelpmetogetintothewater."

Shedippedthetoesofherarchedfootintothepellucidstream.

"Thisalwaysgivesonealittleshock,butthewateroughttobe


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delightfulto-day,"saidshe."Butwhatisthematterwithyou?--yourhandshakes.Youareachillymortal,cousin."

Thefactis,Iwasnottremblingeitherthroughfearorcold;butonapproachingtheMarchioness,thesharpperfumewhichemanatedfromherhairwenttomyhead,andwithmydelicatenervesyouwillreadilyunderstandthatIwasabouttofaint.Imasteredthissensation,however.Shetookafirmgripofmyhand,asonewouldclasptheknobofacaneorthebanisterofastair,andweadvancedintothestreamsidebyside.

Asweadvancedthestreambecamedeeper.TheMarchioness,asthewaterrosehigher,gaveventtolowcriesoffearresemblingthehissofaserpent;thenshebrokeoutintoringingburstsoflaughter,anddrewcloserandclosertome.Finally,shestopped,andturningshelookedstraightintomyeyes.Ifeltthenthatmomentwasasolemnone.Ithoughtahiddenprecipicewasconcealedatmyfeet,myheartthrobbedasifitwouldburst,andmyheadseemedtobeonfire.

"Comenow,teachmetofloatonmyback,Robert.Legsstraightandextended,armsclosetothebody,that'stheway,isitnot?"

"Yes,mydearcousin,andmoveyourhandsgentlyunderyou."

"Verygood;heregoes,then.One,two,three-off!Oh,whatalittlegooseIam,I'mafraid!Ohcousin,supportme,justalittlebit."

ThatwasthemomentwhenIoughttohavesaidtoher:"No,Madame,Iamnotthemantosupportcoquettes,andIwillnot."ButIdidnotdaresaythat;mytongueremainedsilent,andIpassedmyarmroundtheMarchioness'swaist,inordertosupporthermoreeasily.

Alas!Ihadmadeamistake;perhapsanirreparableone.

InthatsuprememomentitwasbuttootruethatIadoredherseductivecharms.Letmecutitshort.WhenIheldherthusitseemedtomethatallthebloodinmybodyrushedbacktomyheart--adeadlythrillran

througheverylimb--fromshameandindignation,nodoubt;myvisionbecameobscure;itseemedasifmysoulwasleavingmybody,andIfellforwardfainting,anddraggedherdowntothebottomofthewaterinamortalclutch.

Iheardaloudcry.Ifeltherarmsinterlacemyneck,herclenchedfingerssinkdeepintomyflesh,andallwasover.Ihadlostconsciousness.

WhenIcametomyselfIwaslyingonthegrass.Juliewaschafingmyhands,andtheMarchioness,inherbathing-dress,whichwasstreamingwithwater,washoldingavinaigrettetomynose.Shelookedatmeseverely,althoughinherglancetherewasashadeofpleased

satisfaction,theimportofwhichescapedme.

"Baby!yougreatbaby!"saidshe.

Nowthatyouknowallthefacts,mypiousfriend,bestowonmethefavorofyourcounsel,andthankheaventhatyouliveremotefromsceneslikethese.

Withheartandsoul,Yoursincerefriend,


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ROBERTDEK-----DEC------.

CHAPTERIII

MADAMEDEK.

ItispossiblethatyouknowMadamedeK.;ifthisbeso,Icongratulateyou,forsheisaveryremarkableperson.Herfaceispretty,buttheydonotsayofher,"Ah,whataprettywoman!"Theysay:"MadamedeK.?Ah!tobesure,afinewoman!"Doyouperceivethedifference?itiseasytograspit.Thatwhichcharmsinherislesswhatoneseesthanwhatoneguessesat.Ah!tobesure,afinewoman!Thatiswhatissaidafterdinnerwhenwehavedinedatherhouse,andwhenherhusband,whounfortunatelyisinbadhealthanddoesnotsmoke,hasgonetofetchcigarsfromhisdesk.Itissaidinalowtone,asthoughinconfidence;butfromthisaffectedreserve,itiseasytoreadconvictiononthepartofeachoftheguests.Theladiesinthedrawingroomdonotsuspectthecharmingfreedomwhichcharacterizesthegossipofthegentlemenwhentheyhavegoneintothesmoking-roomtopufftheircigarsoveracupofcoffee.

"Yes,yes,sheisaveryfinewoman."

"Ah!thedeuce,expansivebeauty,opulent."

"ButpoorDeK.makesmefeelanxious;hedoesnotseemtogetanybetter.Doesitnotalarmyou,Doctor?"

Everyonesmiles'subrosa'attheideathatpoorDeK.,whohasgonetofetchcigars,pinesawayvisibly,whilehiswifeissowell.

"Heisfoolish;heworkstoohard,asIhavetoldhim.Hispositionattheministry--thanks,Inevertakesugar."

"But,really,itisserious,forafterallheisnotstrong,"venturesaguest,gravely,bitinghislipsmeanwhiletokeepfromlaughing.

"Ithinkeventhatwithinthelastyearherbeautyhasdeveloped,"saysalittlegentleman,stirringhiscoffee.

"DeK.'sbeauty?Inevercouldseeit."

"Idon'tsaythat."

"Excuseme,youdid;isitnotso,Doctor?"

"Forsooth!"--"Hownow!Come,letusmakethedistinction."--"Ha,ha,

ha!"Andthereisaburstofthatheartylaughterwhichmenaffecttoassistdigestion.Theiceisbroken,theydrawclosertoeachotherandcontinueinlowtones:

"Shehasafineneck!forwhensheturnedjustnowitlookedasifithadbeensculptured."

"Herneck,herneck!butwhatofherhands,herarmsandhershoulders!DidyouseeheratLeon'sballafortnightago?Aqueen,mydearfellow,aRomanempress.Neck,shoulders,arms--"


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"Andalltherest,"hazardssomeone,lookingdownintohiscup.Alllaughheartily,andthegoodDeK.comesinwithaboxofcigarswhichlookexceptional.

"Hereyouare,myfriends,"hesays,coughingslightly,"butletmerecommendyoutosmokecarefully."

IhaveoftendinedwithmyfriendDeK.,andIhavealways,oralmostalways,heardaconversationsimilartothepreceding.ButImustavowthattheeveningonwhichIheardtheimpertinentremarkofthisgentlemanIwasparticularlyshocked;first,becauseDeK.ismyfriend,andinthesecondplacebecauseIcannotendurepeoplewhospeakofthatofwhichtheyknownothing.ImakeboldtosaythatIaloneinParisunderstandthismattertothebottom.Yes,yes,Ialone;andthereasonisnotfartoseek.PaulandhisbrotherareinEngland;ErnestisaconsulinAmerica;asforLeon,heisatHycresinhislittlesubprefecture.Yousee,therefore,thatintruthIamtheonlyoneinPariswhocan--

"Buthold,MonsieurZ.,youmustbejoking.Explainyourself;cometothepoint.DoyoumeantosaythatMadamedeK.--oh!dearme!butthatismost'inconvenant'!"

Nothing,nothing!Iamfoolish.LetussupposethatIhadnotspoken,ladies;letusspeakofsomethingelse.Howcouldtheideahavegotintomyheadofsayinganythingabout"alltherest"?Letustalkofsomethingelse.

Itwasarealspringmorning,therainfellintorrentsandthenorthwindblewfuriously,whenthedamsel,moredeadthanalive----

Thefactis,IfeelIcannotgetoutofit.Itwillbebettertotellall.Onlysweartometobediscreet.Onyourwordofhonor?Well,then,heregoes.

Iam,Irepeat,theonlymaninPariswhocanspeakfromknowledgeof

"alltherest"inregardtoMadamedeK.

Someyearsago--butdonotletusanticipate--Isay,someyearsagoIhadanintimatefriendatwhosehousewemetmanyevenings.Insummerthewindowswereleftopen,andweusedtositinarmchairsandchatofaffairsbythelightofourcigars.Now,oneevening,whenweweretalkingoffishing--allthesedetailsarestillfreshinmymemory--weheardthesoundofapowerfulharpsichord,andsoonfollowedtheharshnotesofavoicemorevigorousthanharmonious,Imustadmit.

"Aha!shehasalteredherhours,"saidPaul,regardingoneofthewindowsofthehouseopposite.

"Whohaschangedherhours,mydearfellow?"

"Myneighbor.Arobustvoice,don'tyouthinkso?Usuallyshepractisesinthemorning,andIlikethatbetter,foritisthetimeIgooutforawalk."

InstinctivelyIglancedtowardthelightedwindow,andthroughthedrawncurtainsIdistinctlyperceivedawoman,dressedinwhite,withherhairloose,andswayingbeforeherinstrumentlikeapersonconsciousthatshewasaloneandrespondingtoherowninspirations.


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"MyFernand,go,seekglo-o-o-ry,"shewassingingatthetopofhervoice.Thesingingappearedtomemediocre,butthesongstressinherpeignoirinterestedmemuch.

"Gentlemen,"saidI,"itappearstomethereisbehindthatfrailtissue"--Ialludedtothecurtain--"averyhandsomewoman.Putoutyourcigars,ifyouplease;theirlightmightbetrayourpresenceandembarrassthefairsinger."

Thecigarswereatoncedropped--thewindowwasevenalmostcompletelyclosedforgreatersecurity--andwebegantowatch.

Thiswasnot,Iknow,quitediscreet,but,asthedevilwilledit,wewereyoungbachelors,allfiveofus,andthen,afterall,dearreader,wouldnotyouhavedonethesame?

Whenthesongwasconcluded,thesingerrose.Itwasveryhotandhergarmentmusthavebeenverythin,forthelight,whichwasatthefartherendoftheroom,shonethroughthefabric.Itwasoneofthoselongrobeswhichfalltothefeet,andwhichcustomhasreservedfornightwear.Theupperpartisoftentrimmedwithlace,thesleevesarewide,thefoldsarelongandflowing,andusuallygiveforthaperfumeofambergrisorviolet.ButperhapsyouknowthisgarmentaswellasI.

Thefaironedrewnearthelooking-glass,anditseemedtousthatshewascontemplatingherface;thensheraisedherhandsintheair,and,inthegracefulmovementshemade,thesleeve,whichwasunbuttonedandveryloose,slippedfromherbeautifullyroundedarm,theoutlineofwhichwedistinctlyperceived.

"Thedevil!"saidPaul,inastifledvoice,buthecouldsaynomore.

Thesongstressthengatheredupherhair,whichhungverylow,inhertwohandsandtwisteditintheair,justasthewasherwomendo.Herhead,whichwesawinprofile,inclinedalittleforward,andhershoulders,whichthemovementofherarmsthrewback,presentedamoreprominentandclearoutline.

"Marble,Parianmarble!"mutteredPaul."OCypris!Cytherea!Paphia!"

"Bequiet,youdonkey!"

Itreallyseemedasiftheflameofthecandleunderstoodourappreciationandministeredspeciallytoouradmiration.Placedbehindthefairsongstress,itilluminatedhersoperfectlythatthegarmentwiththelongfoldsresembledthosethinvaporswhichveilthehorizonwithouthidingit,andinaword,themostinquisitiveimagination,disarmedbysomuchcourtesy,wasreadytoexclaim,"Thatisenough!"

Soonthefaironemovedforwardtowardherbed,satdowninaverylow

armchair,inwhichshestretchedherselfoutatherease,andremainedforsomemoments,withherhandsclaspedoverherheadandherlimbsextended.justthenmidnightstruck;wesawhertakeherrightlegslowlyandcrossitoverherleft,whenweperceivedthatshehadnotyetremovedhershoesandstockings.

Butwhatistheuseofaskinganymoreaboutit?Theserecollectionstroubleme,and,althoughtheyhavefixedthemselvesinmymind-veryfirmlyindeed,Icanassureyou--Ifeelanembarrassmentmingledwithmodestyatrelatingalltoyouatlength.Besides,atthemomentshe


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turneddowntheclothes,andprepared,togetintobed,thelightwentout.

Onthemorrow,aboutteno'clockintheevening,weallfiveagainfoundourselvesatPaul's,fourofuswithopera-glassesinourpockets.Asonthepreviousevening,thefairsongstresssatdownatherpiano,thenproceededslowlytomakehernighttoilette.Therewasthesamegrace,thesamecharm,butwhenwecametothefatalmomentatwhichontheprecedingnightthecandlehadgoneout,afaintthrillranthroughusall.Totellthetruth,formypart,Iwasnervous.Heaven,veryfortunately,wasnowonourside;thecandlecontinuedtoburn.Theyoungwomanthen,withhercharminghand,theplumpoutlinesofwhichwecouldeasilydistinguish,smoothedthepillow,pattedit,arrangeditwithathousandcaressingprecautionsinwhichthethoughtwassuggested,"WithwhathappinessshallInowgoandburymyheadinit!"

Thenshesmootheddownthelittlewrinklesinthebed,thecontactwithwhichmighthaveirritatedher,and,raisingherselfonherrightarm,likeahorseman,abouttogetintothesaddle,wesawherleftknee,smoothandshiningasmarble,slowlyburyitself.Weseemedtohearakindofcreaking,butthiscreakingsoundedjoyful.Thesightwasbrief,toobrief,alas!anditwasinaspeciesofdelightfulconfusionthatweperceivedawell-roundedlimb,dazzlinglywhite,strugglinginthesilkofthequilt.Atlengtheverythingbecamequietagain,anditwasas

muchaswecoulddotomakeoutasmooth,rose-tintedlittlefootwhich,notbeingsleepy,stilllingeredoutsideandfidgetedwiththesilkencovering.

Delightfulsouvenirofmylivelyyouth!Mypensplutters,mypaperseemstoblushtothecolorofthatusedbytheorange-sellers.IbelieveIhavesaidtoomuch.

IlearnedsometimeafterwardthatmyfriendDeK.wasabouttobemarried,and,singularlyenough,wasgoingtowedthisbeautifulcreaturewithwhomIwassowellacquainted.

"Acharmingwoman!"Iexclaimedoneday.

"Youknowher,then?"saidsomeone.

"I?No,nottheleastintheworld."

"But?"

"Yes-no,letmesee;Ihaveseenheronceathighmass."

"Sheisnotverypretty,"someoneremarkedtome.

"No,notherface,"Irejoined,andaddedtomyself,"No,notherface,butalltherest!"

Itisnonethelesstruethatforsometimepastthissecrethasbeenoppressingme,and,thoughIdecidedto-daytorevealittoyou,itwasbecauseitseemstomethattodosowouldquietmyconscience.

But,forHeaven'ssake,letmeentreatyou,donotnoiseabroadtheaffair!


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CHAPTERIV

SOUVENIRSOFLENT

Thefaithfulareflockingupthestepsofthetemple;springtoilettesalreadyglitterinthesun;trainssweepthedustwiththeirlongflowingfolds;feathersandribbonsflutter;thebellchimessolemnly,whilecarriageskeeparrivingatatrot,depositinguponthepavementallthatismostpiousandmostnobleintheFaubourg,thendrawupinlineatthefartherendofthesquare.

Bequick,elbowyourwaythroughthecrowdifyouwantagoodplace;theAbbeGelonpreachesto-dayonabstinence,andwhentheAbbeGelonpreachesitisasifPattiweresinging.

EnterMadame,pushesthetripledoor,whichreclosesheavily,brusheswithrapidfingerstheholywatersprinklerwhichthatpiousoldmanholdsout,andcarefullymakesagracefullittlesignofthecrosssoasnottospotherribbons.

Doyouhearthesediscreetandaristocraticwhisperings?

"Goodmorning,mydear."

"Goodmorning,dear.Itisalwaysonabstinencethathepreaches,isitnot?Haveyouaseat?"

"Yes,yes,comewithme.Youhavegotonyourfamousbonnet,Isee?"

"Yes;doyoulikeit?Itisalittleshowy,isitnot?Whatamultitudeofpeople!Whereisyourhusband?"

"Showy!Oh,no,itissplendid.Myhusbandisinthechurchwarden'spew;heleftbeforeme;heisbecomingafanatic--hespeaksoflunchingonradishesandlentils."

"Thatoughttobeveryconsolingtoyou."

"Don'tmentionit.Comewithme.See;thereareErnestineandLouise.PoorLouise'snose,alwaysthesame;whowouldbelievethatshedrinksnothingstrongerthanwater?"

Theladiespushtheirwayamongthechairs,someofwhichtheyupsetwiththegreatestunconcern.

Arrivedattheirplacestheysinkdownontheirknees,and,moist-eyedandfulloffeeling,castalookofveiledadorationtowardthehighaltar,thenhidetheirfaceswiththeirglovedhands.

ForaveryfewminutestheygracefullydeprecatethemselvesintheeyesoftheLord,then,takingtheirseats,coquettishlyarrangetheimmensebowsoftheirbonnet-strings,scantheassemblythroughagoldeyeglass,withthelittlefingerturningup;finally,whilesmoothingdownthesatinfoldsofadressdifficulttokeepinplace,theyscatter,rightandleft,charminglittlerecognitionsanddelightfullittlesmiles.

"Areyoucomfortable,dear?"

"Quite,thanks.Doyouseeinfrontthere,betweenthetwotapers,


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LouiseandMadamedeC-------?Isitallowableinanyonetocometochurchgotuplikethat?"

"Oh!IhaveneverbelievedmuchinthepietyofMadamedeC-------.Youknowherhistory--thestoryofthescreen?Iwilltellityoulater.Ah!thereistheverger."

Thevergershowshisbaldheadinthepulpitoftruth.Hearrangestheseat,adjuststhekneeling-stool,thenwithdrawsandallowstheAbbeGelon,whoissomewhatpalefromLentenfasting,butstriking,ashealwaysis,indignity,elegance,andunction.Amomentaryflutterpassesthroughthecongregation,thentheysettledowncomfortably.Thenoisediesaway,andalleyesareeagerlylookingtowardthefaceofthepreacher.Withhiseyesturnedtoheaven,thelatterstandsuprightandmotionless;alightfromabovemaybedivinedinhisinspiredlook;hisbeautiful,whitehands,encircledatthewristsbyfinelace,arecarelesslyplacedontheredvelvetcushionofthepulpit.Hewaitsafewmoments,coughstwice,unfoldshishandkerchief,depositshissquarehatinacorner,and,bendingforward,letsfallfromhislipsinthosesweetslow,persuasivetones,bywhichheisknown,thefirstwordsofhissermon,"Ladies!"

Withthissinglewordhehasalreadywonallhearts.Slowlyhecastsoverhisaudienceamellowglance,whichpenetratesandattracts;then,

havingutteredafewLatinwordswhichhehasthetacttotranslatequicklyintoFrench,hecontinues:

"Whatisittoabstain?Whyshouldweabstain?Howshouldweabstain?Thosearethethreepoints,ladies,Ishallproceedtodiscuss."

Heblowshisnose,coughs;aholythrillstirseveryheart.Howwillhetreatthismagnificentsubject?Letuslisten.

Isitnottrue,Madame,thatyourheartispiouslystirred,andthatatthismomentyoufeelanactualthirstforabstinenceandmortification?

Theholyprecinctsarebathedinasoftobscurity,similartothatof

yourboudoir,andinducingrevery.

Iknownothowmuchoftheineffableandofthevaguelyexhilaratingpenetratesyourbeing.Butthevoiceofthishandsomeandveneratedoldmanhas,amidstthedeepsilence,somethingdeliciouslyheavenlyaboutit.Mysteriousechoesrepeatfromthefarendofthetempleeachofhiswords,andinthedimlightofthesanctuarythegoldencandlesticksglitterlikepreciousstones.Theoldstained-glasswindowswiththeirsymbolicfiguresbecomesuddenlyilluminated,afloodoflightandsunshinespreadsthroughthechurchlikeasheetoffire.Aretheheavensopening?IstheSpiritfromonhighdescendingamongus?

Whilelostinpiousrevery,whichsoothesandlulls,onegazeswith

ecstasyonthefancifuldetailsofthesculptureswhichvanishinthegroinedroofabove,andonthequaintpipesoftheorganwithitshundredvoices.Thebeliefsofchildhoodpiouslyinculcatedinyourheartsuddenlyreawaken;avagueperfumeofincenseagainpenetratestheair.Thestonepillarsshootuptoinfiniteheights,andfromthesecelestialarchesdependsthegoldenlampwhichswaystoandfroinspace,diffusingitseternallight.Truly,Godisgreat.

Bydegreesthesweettonesofthepreacherenraptureonemoreandmore,andthesenseofhiswordsarelost;and,listeningtothedivinemurmur


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ofthatsaint-likevoice,youreyes,likethoseofachildfallingasleepinthebosomoftheCreator,close.

Youdonotgotosleep,butyourheadinclinesforward,theethereallightsurroundsyou,andyoursoul,delightingintheuncertain,plungesintocelestialspace,andlosesitselfininfinity.

Whatasweetandholilyintoxicatingsensation,adeliciousecstasy!Nevertheless,therearethosewhosmileatthisreligiousraise-en-scene,thesepompsandsplendors,thiscelestialmusic,whichsoothesthenervesandthrillsthebrain!PityonthesescofferswhodonotcomprehendtheineffabledelightofbeingabletoopenatwillthegatesofParadisetothemselves,andtobecome,atoddmoments,onewiththeangels!Butwhatpurposedoesitservetospeakofthefaithlessandoftheirharmless,smiles?AstheAbbeGelonhasinhisinimitablemannerobserved,"Theheartisafortress,incessantlyassailedbythespiritofdarkness."

Theideaofaconstantstrugglewiththispowerfulbeinghassomethingaboutitthataddstenfoldtoourstrengthandflattersourvanity.What,aloneinyourfortress,Madame;alonewiththespiritofdarkness.

Buthush!theAbbeGelonisfinishinginaquiveringandfatiguedvoice.Hisrighthandtracesintheairthesignofpeace.Thenhewipeshishumidforehead,hiseyessparklewithdivinelight,hedescendsthe

narrowstairs,andwehearonthepavementtheregulartapsoftherodoftheverger,whoisreconductinghimtothevestry.

"Washenotsplendid,dear?"

"Excellent!whenhesaid,'Thatmyeyesmightcloseforever,if......'youremember?"

"Superb!andfurtheron:'Yes,ladies,youarecoquettes.'Hetoldussomehardtruths;hespeaksadmirably."

"Admirably!Heisdivine!"

Itisfouro'clock,thechurchisplungedinshadowandsilence.Theconfusedrumbleofthevehicleswithouthardlypenetratesthisdwellingofprayer,andthecreakofone'sboots,echoinginthedistance,istheonlyhumannoisewhichrufflesthedeepcalm.

However,inproportionasweadvance,weperceiveinthechapelsgroupsofthefaithful,kneeling,motionlessandsilent.Inviewingthedespairthattheirattitudeappearstoexpress,weareoverwhelmedwithsadnessanduneasiness.Isitanappealforthedamned?

Theaspectsofoneofthesechapelsispeculiar.Ahundredorahundredandfiftyladies,almostburiedinsilkandvelvet,arecrowdeddevoutly

abouttheconfessional.Asweetscentofvioletsandvervainpermeatesthevicinity,andonehalts,inspiteofone'sself,inthepresenceofthislargedisplayofelegance.

Fromeachofthetwocellsadjoiningtheconfessionalshootoutthefoldsofarebelliousskirt,forthepenitent,heldfastatthewaist,hasbeenabletogetonlyhalfofherformintothenarrowspace.However,herheadcanbedistinguishedmovingintheshadow,andwecanguessfromthecontritemovementsofherwhitefeatherthatherforeheadisbowedbyreasonofremonstranceandrepentance.


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Hardlyhassheconcludedherlittlestorywhenadozenofherneighborsrushforwardtoreplaceher.Thiseagernessisquiteexplicable,forthischapelistheoneinwhichtheAbbeGelonhearsconfessions,andIneednottellyouthatwhentheAbbeGelonconfessesitisthesameasifhewerepreaching--thereisacrowd.

ThegoodAbbeconfessesalltheseladies,and,withangelicdevotion,remainsshutupforhoursinthisdark,narrow,suffocatingbox,throughthegratingofwhichtwopenitentsarecontinuallywhisperingtheirsins.

ThedearAbbe!themostlikablethingabouthimisthatheisnotlongoverthebusiness.Heknowshowtogetridofuselessdetails;heperceives,withsubtleinstinctandasurenessofvisionthatsparesyouathousandembarrassments,theconditionofasoul,sothat,besidesbeingamanofintelligenceandoftheworld,herenderstherepetitionofthoselittleweaknesses,ofwhichhehaswhisperedtheonehalftoyou,almostagreeable.

Incomingtohimwithone'slittleburdenofguilt,onefeelssomewhatembarrassed,butwhileoneishesitatingabouttellinghimall,he,withadiscreetandskilfulhand,disencumbersoneofitrapidly,examinesthecontents,smilesorconsoles,andtheconfessionismadewithoutonehavingutteredasingleword;sothatafterallisoverthepenitent

exclaims,prostratingone'sselfbeforeGod,"But,Lord,Iwaspure,pureasthelily,andyethowuneasyIwas!"

Evenwhenheassumesthesacerdotalhabitandceasestobeaman,andspeaksinthenameofGod,thetonesofhisvoice,therefinementofhislook,revealinnatedistinctionandthatspotlesscourtesywhichcannotharmevenaministerofGod,andwhichonemustcultivateonthissideoftheRueduBac.

IfGodwillsthattheremustbeaFaubourgSt.-Germainintheworld--anditcannotbedeniedthatHedoes--isitnotproperthatHeshouldgiveusaministerwhospeaksourlanguageandunderstandsourweaknesses?Nothingismoreobvious,andIreallydonotcomprehendsomeofthese

ladieswhotalktomeabouttheAbbeBrice.NotthatIwishtospeakillofthegoodAbbe,forthisisneitherthetimenortheplaceforit;heisaholyman,buthissanctityisalittlebourgeoisandneedspolish.

Withhimonehastodotone'si's;heisdullinperception,ordoesnotperceiveatall.

Acknowledgeapeccadillo,andhisbrowsknit,hemustknowthehour,themoment,theantecedents;heexamines,heprobes,heweighs,andfinisheshisthousandquestionsbybeingindiscreetandalmostimproper.Istherenot,evenintheholymissionofthepriest,awayofbeingpolitelysevere,andofactingthegentlemantopeoplewellborn?

TheAbbeBrice--andthereisnoreasonwhyIshouldconcealit--smellsofthestable,whichmustbeprejudicialtohim.HeisslightlyRepublican,too,wearsclumsyboots,hasawfulnails,andwhenhegetsnewgloves,twiceayear,hisfingersstandoutstiffandseparate.

Idonot,Iwouldhaveyouremark,denyhisadmirablevirtues;butsaywhatyoulike,youwillnevergetawomanoffashiontoconfideher"littleaffairs"toafarmer'sson,andaddresshimas"Father."Mattersmustnotbecarriedthelengthofabsurdity;besides,thisAbbeBrice


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alwayssmellsdetestablyofsnuff.

Heconfessesallsortsofpeople,andyouwillagreethatitisnotpleasanttohaveone'smaidorone'scookforone'svisa-visattheconfessional.

ThereisnotawomanwhounderstandsChristianhumilitybetterthanyourself,dearMadame;butallthesameyouarenotaccustomedtotravelinanomnibus.Youmaybetoldthatinheavenyouwillonlybetoohappytocallyourcoachman"Brother,"andtosaytoSarahJane,"Sister,"buttheseworthyfolkshallhavefirstpassedthroughpurgatory,andfirepurifieseverything.Again,whatistheretoassureusthatSarahJanewillgotoheaven,sinceyouyourself,dearMadame,arenotsosureofenteringthere?

ItishencequitewellunderstoodwhytheAbbeGelon'schapeliscrowded.Ifalittlewhisperinggoeson,itisbecausetheyhavebeenwaitingthreelonghours,andbecauseeverybodyknowsoneanother.

Alltheladies,youmaybesure,arethere.

"Makealittleroomforme,dear,"whispersanewcomer,edgingherwaythroughtrains,kneeling-stools,andchairs.

"Ah!isthatyou,dear?Comehere.ClementineandMadamedeB.arethereinthecorneratthecannon'smouth.Youwillhavetowaittwogoodhours."

"IfMadamedeB.isthere,itdoesnotsurpriseme.Sheisinexhaustible,andthereisnootherwomanwhoissolongintellingathing.Haveallthesepeoplenothadtheirturnyet?Ah!thereisErnestine."(Shewavesherhandtoherquietly.)"Thatchildisanangel.Sheacknowledgedtometheotherdaythatherconsciencetroubledherbecause,onreadingthe'Passion,'shecouldnotmakeuphermindtokissthemat."

"Ah!charming;but,tellme,doyoukissthematyourself?"

"I!no,neverinmylife;itissonasty,dear."

"Youconfesstotheomission,atleast?"

"Oh!Iconfessallthoselittletriflesinalump.Isay,'Father,Ihaveerredoutofhumanself-respect.'Igivethetotalatonce."

"ThatisjustwhatIdo,andthatdearAbbeGelondischargesthebill."

"Seriously,timewouldfailhimifheactedotherwise.Butitseemstomethatwearewhisperingalittletoomuch,dear;letmethinkovermylittlebill."

Madameleansuponherpraying-stool.Gracefullysheremoves,withouttakinghereyesoffthealtar,theglovefromherrighthand,andwithherthumbturnstheringofSte-Genevievethatservesherasarosary,movingherlipsthewhile.Then,withdowncasteyesandsetlips,sheloosensthefleur-de-lys-engravedclaspofherBookofHours,andseeksouttheprayersappropriatetohercondition.

Shereadswithfervency:"'MyGod,crushedbeneaththeburdenofmysinsIcastmyselfatthyfeet'--howannoyingthatitshouldbesocoldtothe


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feet.Withmysorethroat,Iamsuretohaveinfluenza,--'thatIcastmyselfatthyfeet'--tellme,dear,doyouknowifthechapel-keeperhasafootwarmer?Nothingisworsethancoldfeet,andthatMadamedeP.sticksthereforhours.Iamsuresheconfessesherfriends'sinsalongwithherown.Itisintolerable;Inolongerhaveanyfeelinginmyrightfoot;Iwouldpaythatwomanforherfoot-warmer--'Ibowmyheadinthedustundertheweightofrepentance,andof........'"

"Ah!MadamedeP.hasfinished;sheisasredasthecombofaturkey-cock."

Fourladiesrushforwardwithpiousardortotakeherplace.

"Ah!Madame,donotpushso,Ibegofyou."

"ButIwasherebeforeyou,Madame."

"Ibegathousandpardons,Madame."

"Yousurelyhaveaverystrangeideaoftherespectwhichisduetothishallowedspot."

"Hush,hush!Profitbytheopportunity,Madame;slipthroughandtakethevacantplace.(Whispering.)Donotforgetthebigonelastnight,

andthetwolittleonesofthismorning."

CHAPTERV

MADAMEANDHERFRIENDCHATBYTHEFIRESIDE

Madam--(movingherslenderfingers)--Itisruched,ruched,ruched,lovesofruches,edgedallaroundwithblond.

HerFriend--Thatisgoodstyle,dear.

Madame--Yes,Ithinkitwillbethestyle,andoverthissnowlikefoamfalltheskirtsofbluesilklikethebodice;butalovelyblue,somethinglike--alittlelesspronouncedthanskyblue,youknow,like--myhusbandcallsitasubduedblue.

HerFriend--Splendid.Heisveryhappyinhischoiceofterms.

Madame--Ishenot?Oneunderstandsatonce--asubduedblue.Itdescribesitexactly.

HerFriend--Butaproposofthis,youknowthatErnestinehasnotforgivenhimhispleasantryoftheotherevening.

Madame--How,ofmyhusband?Whatpleasantry?TheothereveningwhentheAbbeGelonandtheAbbeBricewerethere?

HerFriend--Andhisson,whowastherealso.

Madame--What!theAbbe'sson?(Bothbreakintolaughter.)

HerFriend--But--ha!ha!ha!--whatareyousaying,ha!ha!youlittlegoose?


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Madame--IsaidtheAbbeGelonandtheAbbeBrice,andyouadd,'Andhisson.'Itisyourfault,dear.Hemustbeachoir-boy,thatcherub.(Morelaughter.)

HerFriend--(placingherhandoverheymouth)--Bequiet,bequiet;itistoobad;andinLent,too!

Madame--Well,butofwhosesonareyouspeaking?

HerFriend--OfErnestine'sson,don'tyouknow,Albert,apictureofinnocence.Heheardyourhusband'spleasantry,andhismotherwasvexed.

Madame--Mydear,Ireallydon'tknowtowhatyourefer.Pleasetellmeallaboutit.

HeyFriend--Well,onenteringthedrawing-room,andperceivingthecandelabralitup,andthetwoAbbe'sstandingatthatmomentinthemiddleoftheroom,yourhusbandappearedasiflookingforsomething,andwhenErnestineaskedhimwhatitwas,hesaidaloud:"Iamlookingfortheholy-water;please,dearneighbor,excusemeforcominginthemiddleoftheservice."

Madame--Isitpossible?(Laughing.)Thefactis,hecannotgetoutof

it;hehasmetthetwoAbbes,twicerunning,atErnestine's.Herdrawing-roomisaperfectsacristy.

HeyFriend(dryly)--Asacristy!Howregardlessyouaregettinginyourlanguagesinceyourmarriage,dear.

Madame--Notmorethanbefore.Inevercaredtomeetpriestselsewherethanatchurch.

HerFriend--Come,youarefrivolous,andifIdidnotknowyoubetter--butdoyounotliketomeettheAbbeGelon?

Madame--Ah!theAbbeGelon,thatisquitedifferent.Heischarming.

HerFriend--(briskly)--Hismannersaresodistingue.

Madame--Andrespectful.Hiswhitehairissuchanadmirableframeforhispaleface,whichissofullofunction.

HerFriend--Oh!yes,hehasunction,andhislooks--thosesweetlysoftenedlooks!Theotherday,whenhewasspeakingonthemediationofChrist,hewasdivine.Atonemomenthewipedawayatear;hewasnolongermasterofhisemotions;buthegrewcalmalmostimmediately--hispowerofself-commandismarvellous;thenhewentonquietly,buttheemotioninturnhadoverpoweredus.Itwaselectrifying.TheCountessdeS.,whowasnearme,wasbubblinglikeaspring,underheryellow

bonnet.

Madame--Ah!yes,Ihaveseenthatyellowbonnet.WhatasightthatMadamedeS.is!

HerFriend--Thetruthis,sheisalwaysdressedlikeanapplewoman.Abishoprichasbeenofferedthesemessieurs,Iknow,ongoodauthority;myhusbandhaditfromDel'Euvre.Well--

Madame--(interruptingher)--AbishopricofferedtoMadamedeS.Itwas


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wrongtodoso.

HerFriend--Youmakefunofeverything,mydear;thereare,however,somesubjectswhichshouldberevered.ItellyouthatthemitreandtheringhavebeenofferedtotheAbbyGelon.Well,herefusedthem.Godknows,however,thatthepastoralringwouldwellbecomehishand.

Madame--Oh!yes,hehasalovelyhand.

HerFriend--Hehasawhite,slender,andaristocratichand.Perhapsitisawrongforustodwellontheseworldlydetails,butafterallhishandisreallybeautiful.Doyouknow(enthusiastically)IfindthattheAbbeGeloncompelsloveofreligion?Wereyoueverpresentathislectures?

Madame--Iwasatthefirstone.IwouldhavegoneagainonThursday,butMadameSavaincametotryonmybodiceandIhadaprotracteddiscussionwithherabouttheslantoftheskirts.

HerFriend--Ah!theskirtsarecutslantingly.

Madame--Yes,yes,withlittlecross-bars,whichisanideaofmyown--Ihavenotseenitanywhereelse;Ithinkitwillnotlookbadly.

HerFriend--MadameSavaintoldmethatyouhadsuppressedtheshouldersofthecorsage.

Madame--Ah!thegossip!Yes,Iwillhavenothingontheshouldersbutaribbon,atrifle,justenoughtofastenajewelto--Iwasafraidthatthecorsagewouldlookalittlebare.MadameSavainhadlaidon,atintervals,someridiculousfrippery.Iwantedtotrysomethingelse--myplanofcrossbars,thereandthen--andImissedthedearAbbeGelon'slecture.Hewascharming,itseems.

HerFriend--Oh!charming.Hespokeagainstbadbooks;therewasalargecrowd.HedemolishedallthehorribleopinionsofMonsieurRenan.Whatamonsterthatmanis!

Madame--Youhavereadhisbook?

HerFriend--Heavenforbid!Don'tyouknowitisimpossibleforonetofindanythingmore--well,itmustbeverybad'Messieursdel'OEuvre'fortheAbbeGelon,inspeakingtooneofthesefriendsofmyhusband,utteredtheword----

Madame--Well,whatword?

HerFriend--Idarenottellyou,for,really,ifitistrueitwouldmakeoneshudder.Hesaidthatitwas(whisperinginherear)theAntichrist!Itmakesonefeelaghast,doesitnot!Theysellhisphotograph;hehas

asataniclook.(Lookingattheclock.)Half-pasttwo--Imustrunaway;Ihavegivennoordersaboutdinner.Thesethreefast-daysintheweekaretomemartyrdom.Onemusthavealittlevariety;myhusbandisveryfastidious.Ifwedidnothavewater-fowlIshouldlosemyhead.Howdoyougeton,dear?

Madame--Oh!withmeitisverysimple,providedIdonotmakemyhusbandleaner;heeatsanything.Youknow,Augustusisnotverymuch--

HerFriend--Notverymuch!Ithinkthatheismuchtoospare;for,after


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all,ifwedonotinthislifeimposesomeprivationsuponourselves--no,thatwouldbetooeasy.Ihope,indeed,thatyouhaveadispensation?

Madame--Oh!yes,Iamsafeastothat.

HerFriend--Ihaveone,ofcourse,forbutterandeggs,asvice-chancelloroftheAssociation.TheAbbeGelonbeggedmetoacceptacompletedispensationonaccountofmyheadaches,butIrefused.Yes!Irefusedoutright.Ifonemakesacompromisewithone'sprinciples--butthentherearepeoplewhohavenoprinciples.

Madame--Ifyoumeanthattoapplytomyhusband,youarewrong.Augustusisnotaheathen--hehasexcellentprinciples.

HerFriend--Excellentprinciples!Youmakemybloodboil.Butthere,Imustgo.Well,itisunderstood,IcountuponyouforTuesday;hewillpreachuponauthority,amagnificentsubject,andwemayexpectallusions--Ah!Iforgottotellyou;IamcollectingandIexpectyourmite,dear.Itakeaslowasumasadenier(thetwelfthofapenny).Ihaveanideaofcollectingwithmylittlegirlonmypraying-stool.MadamedeK.collectedonSundayatSt.Thomas'sandherbabyheldthealms-bag.ThelittleJesushadanimmensesuccess--immense!

Madame--Imustgonow.Howwillyoudress?

HerFriend--Oh!forthepresent,quitesimplyandinblack;youunderstand.

Madame--Besides,blackbecomesyousowell.

HerFriend--Yes,everythingisforthebest;blackdoesnotsuitmeatallill.Tuesday,then.Butmydear,trytobringyourhusband,helikesmusicsomuch.

Madame--Well,Icannotpromisethat.

HerFiend--Ah!monDieu!theyarealllikethat,thesemen;theyare

strong-minded,andwhengracetouchesthem,theylookbackontheirpastlifewithhorror.Whenmyhusbandspeaksofhisyouth,thetearscomeintohiseyes.Imusttellyou;thathehasnotalwaysbeenasheisnow;hewasagayboyinhisyouth,poorfellow.Idonotdetestamanbecauseheknowslifealittle,doyou?ButIamgossipingandtimepasses;IhaveacalltomakeyetonMadameW.Idonotknowwhethershehasfoundherjuvenilelead.

Madame--Whatfor,inHeaven'sname?

HerFriend--Forhereveningparty.Therearetobeprivatetheatricalsatherhouse,butforapiousobject,youmaybesure,duringLent;itissoastohaveacollectiononbehalfoftheAssociation.Imustfly.

Good-by,dear.

Madame--TillTuesday,dear;infulluniform?

HerFriend--(smiling)--Infulluniform.Kindregardstoyourreprobate.Ilikehimverymuchallthesame.Good-by.


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CHAPTERVI

ADREAM

Sleeplessnessisalmostalwaystobetracedtoindigestion.Myfriend,Dr.Jacques,isthereandhewilltellyouso.

Now,onthatparticularevening,itwaslastFriday,Ihadcommittedthemistakeofeatingbrill,afishthatpositivelydisagreeswithme.

Godgrantthattheaccountofthesingulardreamwhichensuedmayinspireyouwithsomeprudentreflections.

Bethatasitmay,thiswasmydream,inallitsextravagance.

Ihad,inthisdream,thehonortobelong,asseniorcurate,tooneofthemostfrequentedparishchurchesinParis.Whatcouldbemoreridiculous!Iwas,moreover,respectablystout,possessedaheaddeckedwithsilverlocks,well-shapedhands,anaquilinenose,greatunction,thefriendshipoftheladyworshippers,and,Iventuretoadd,theesteemoftherector.

WhileIwasrecitingthethanksgivingafterservice,andatthesametimeunfasteningthecordsofmyalb,therectorcameuptome(Iseehimeven

now)blowinghisnose.

"Mydearfriend,"saidhe,"youhearconfessionsthisevening,doyounot?"

"Mostcertainly.Areyouwellthismorning?Ihadagoodcongregationatmass."

Havingsaidthis,Ifinishedmythanksgiving,putmyalbintothewardrobe,and,offeringapinchtotherector,addedcheerily:

"Thisisnotbreakingthefast,isit?"

"Ha!ha!no,no,no!Besides,itwantsfiveminutestotwelveandtheclockisslow."

Wetookapinchtogetherandwalkedoffarminarmbythelittlesidedoor,fornightsacraments,chattinginafriendlyway.

SuddenlyIfoundmyselftransportedintomyconfessional.Thechapelwasfullofladieswhoallbowedatmyapproach.Ienteredmynarrowbox,thekeyofwhichIhad.Iarrangedontheseattheair-cushionwhichisindispensabletomeontheeveningsprecedinggreatchurchfestivals,thesittingsatthatseasonbeingalwaysprolonged.Islippedthewhitesurplicewhichwashangingfromapegovermycassock,and,aftermeditatingforamoment,openedthelittleshutterthatputsmein

communicationwiththepenitents.

Iwillnotundertaketodescribetoyouonebyonethedifferentpeoplewhocameandkneltbeforeme.Iwillnottellyou,forinstance,howoneofthem,aladyinblack,withastraightnose,thinlips,andsallowcomplexion,afterrecitingherConfiteorinLatin,touchedmeinfinitelybytheabsoluteconfidencesheplacedinme,thoughIwasnotofhersex.Infiveminutesshefoundtheopportunitytospeaktomeofhersister-in-law,herbrother,anunclewhowasonthepointofdeathwhoseheiressshewas,hernephews,andherservants;andIcouldperceive,despitethe


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tenderbenevolencethatappearedinallherwords,thatshewasthevictimofallthesepeople.Sheendedbyinformingmeshehadamarriageabledaughter,andthatherstomachwasanobstacletoherfasting.

Icanstillseeathrongofotherpenitents,butitwouldtaketoolongtotellyouaboutthem,andwewillconfineourselves,withyourpermission,tothelasttwo,who,besides,impresseduponmymemorythemselvesparticularly.

Ahighlyadornedlittleladyrushedintotheconfessional;shewasbrisk,rosy,fresh.Despiteherexpressionofdeepthoughtfulness,shespokeveryquicklyinamusicalvoice,andrattledthroughherConfiteor,regardlessofthesense.

"Father,"shesaid,"Ihaveonethingthatistroublingme."

"Speak,mychild;youknowthataconfessorisafather."

"Well,father--butIreallydarenot."

Therearemanyofthesetimidlittleheartsthatrequiretobeencouraged.Isaid,"Goon,mychild,goon."

"Myhusband,"shemurmuredconfusedly,"willnotabstainduringLent.OughtItocompelhim,father?"

"Yes,bypersuasion."

"ButhesaysthathewillgoanddineattherestaurantifIdonotlethimhaveanymeat.Oh!Isufferterriblyfromthat.AmInotassumingtheresponsibilityofallthatmeat,father?"

Thisyoungwifereallyinterestedme;shehadinthemidstofonecheek,towardthecornerofthemouth,asmallhollow,akindoflittledimple,charmingintheprofanesenseoftheword,andgivingaspecialexpressiontoherface.Hertinywhiteteethglitteredlikepearlswhen

sheopenedhermouthtorelateherpiousinquietudes;sheshedaround,besides,aperfumealmostassweetasthatofouraltars,althoughofadifferentkind,andIbreathedthisperfumewithanuneasinessfullofscruples,whichforallthatinclinedmetoindulgence.Iwassoclosetoherthatnoneofthedetailsofherfaceescapedme;Icoulddistinguish,almostinspiteofmyself,evenalittlequiverofherlefteyebrow,tickledeverynowandagainbyastraytressofherfairhair.

"Yoursituation,"Isaid,"isadelicateone;ononehand,yourdomestichappiness,andontheotheryourdutyasaChristian."Shegaveasighfromherveryheart."Well,mydearchild,myagewarrantsmyspeakingtoyoulikethat,doesitnot?"

"Oh,yes,father."

"Well,mydearchild"--IfancyInoticedatthatmomentthatshehadattheoutercornerofhereyesakindofdarkmarksomethinglikeanarrow-head--"try,mydearchild,toconvinceyourhusband,whoinhisheart--"Inaddition,herlashes,verylongandsomewhatcurled,wereunderlined,Imightalmostsay,byadarkstreakexpandingandshadingoffdelicatelytowardthemiddleoftheeye.Thisphysicalpeculiaritydidnotseemtomenatural,butaneffectofpremeditatedcoquetry.


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Strangefact,theverificationofsuchweaknessinthiscandidheartonlyincreasedmycompassion.Icontinuedinagentletone:

"StrivetobringyourhusbandtoGod.Abstinenceisnotonlyareligiousobservance,itisalsoasalutarycustom.'NonsolumlexDei,sedetiam'.Haveyoudoneeverythingtobringbackyourhusband?"

"Yes,father,everything."

"Beprecise,mychild;Imustknowall."

"Well,father,Ihavetriedsweetnessandtenderness."

Ithoughttomyselfthatthishusbandmustbeawretch.

"Ihaveimploredhimforthesakeofourchild,"continuedthelittleangel,"nottoriskhissalvationandmyown.OnceortwiceIeventoldhimthatthespinachwasdressedwithgravywhenitwasnot.WasIwrong,father?"

"TherearepiousfalsehoodswhichtheChurchexcuses,forinsuchcasesitonlytakesintoconsiderationtheintentionandthegreatergloryofGod.Icannot,therefore,saythatyouhavedonewrong.Youhavenot,haveyou,beenguiltytowardyourhusbandofanyofthoseexcusableacts

ofviolencewhichmayescapeaChristiansoulwhenitisstrugglingagainsterror?ForitreallyisnotnaturalthatanhonestmanshouldrefusetofollowtheprescriptionoftheChurch.Makeafewconcessionsatfirst."

"Ihave,father,andperhapstoomany,"shesaid,contritely.

"Whatdoyoumean?"

"HopingtobringhimbacktoGod,IaccordedhimfavorswhichIoughttohaverefusedhim.Imaybewrong,butitseemstomethatIoughttohaverefusedhim."

"Donotbealarmed,mydearchild,everythingdependsupondegrees,anditisnecessaryinthesematterstomakedelicatedistinctions."

"ThatiswhatIsaytomyself,father,butmyhusbanduniteswithhiskindnesssuchacommunicativegayety--hehassuchagracefulandnaturalwayofexcusinghisimpiety--thatIlaughinspiteofmyselfwhenIoughttoweep.Itseemstomethatacloudcomesbetweenmyselfandmyduties,andmyscruplesevaporatebeneaththecharmofhispresenceandhiswit.Myhusbandhasplentyofwit,"sheadded,withafaintsmile,inwhichtherewasatingeofpride.

"Hum!hum!"(theblacknessofthisman'sheartrevoltedme)."Thereisnoseductiveshapethatthetempterdoesnotassume,mychild.Witin

itselfisnottobecondemned,althoughtheChurchshunsitasfarassheisconcerned,lookinguponitasaworldlyornament;butitmaybecomedangerous,itmaybereckonedaveritablepestwhenittendstoweakenfaith.Faith,whichistothesoul,Ihardlyneedtellyou,whatthebloomistothepeach,and--ifImaysoexpressmyself,whatthe--dewis--totheflower--hum,hum!Goon,mychild."

"But,father,whenmyhusbandhasdisturbedmeforamoment,Isoonrepentofit.HehashardlygonebeforeIprayforhim."


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"Good,verygood."

"Ihavesewnablessedmedalupinhisovercoat."Thiswassaidmoreboldly,thoughstillwithsometimidity.

"Andhaveyounoticedanyresult?"

"Incertainthingsheisbetter,yes,father,butasregardsabstinenceheisstillintractable,"shesaidwithembarrassment.

"Donotbediscouraged.WeareintheholyperiodofLent.Makeuseofpioussubterfuges,preparehimsomeadmissibleviands,butpleasanttothetaste."

"Yes,father,Ihavethoughtofthat.ThedaybeforeyesterdayIgavehimoneofthesesalmonpastiesthatresembleham."

"Yes,yes,Iknowthem.Well?"

"Well,heatethesalmon,buthehadacutletcookedafterward."

"Deplorable!"Iexclaimed,almostinspiteofmyself,soexcessivedidtheperversityofthismanseemtome."Patience,mychild,offeruptoHeaventhesufferingswhichyourhusband'simpietycausesyou,and

rememberthatyoureffortswillbesetdowntoyou.Youhavenothingmoretotellme?"

"No,father."

"Collectyourself,then.Iwillgiveyouabsolution."

Thedearsoulsighedasshejoinedhertwolittlehands.

HardlyhadmypenitentrisentowithdrawwhenIabruptlyclosedmylittleshutterandtookalongpinchofsnuff--snuff-takersknowhowmuchapinchsoothesthemind--thenhavingthankedGodrapidly,Idrewfromthepocketofmycassockmygoodoldwatch,andfoundthatitwasearlier

thanIthought.Thedarknessofthechapelhaddeceivedme,andmystomachhadsharedmyerror.Iwashungry.Ibanishedthesecarnalpreoccupationsfrommymind,andaftershakingmyhands,onwhichsomegrainsofsnuffhadfallen,Islackenedoneofmybracesthatwaspressingalittleononeshoulder,andopenedmywicket.

"Well,Madame,peopleshouldbemorecareful,"saidthepenitentonmyleft,addressingaladyofwhomIcouldonlyseeabonnet-ribbon;"itisexcusable."

Mypenitent'svoice,whichwasveryirritated,thoughrestrainedbyrespectforthelocality,softenedasifbymagicatthecreakingofmywicket.Shekneltdown,piouslyfoldedhertwounglovedhands,plump,

perfumed,rosy,ladenwithrings--butletthatpass.IseemedtorecognizethehandsoftheCountessdeB.,achosensoul,whomIhadthehonortovisitfrequently,especiallyonSaturday,whenthereisalwaysaplacelaidformeathertable.

SheraisedherlittlelaceveilandIsawthatIwasnotmistaken.ItwastheCountess.Shesmiledatmeasatapersonwithwhomshewasacquainted,butwithperfectpropriety;sheseemedtobesaying,"Good-day,mydearAbbe,Idonotaskhowyourrheumatismis,becauseatthismomentyouareinvestedwithasacredcharacter,butIaminterestedin


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itallthesame."

Thislittlesmilewasirreproachable.Irepliedbyasimilarsmile,andImurmuredinaverylowtone,givingher,too,tounderstandbytheexpressionofmyfacethatIwasmakingauniqueconcessioninherfavor,"Areyouquitewell,dearMadame?"

"Thanks,father,Iamquitewell."Hervoicehadresumedanangelictone."ButIhavejustbeeninapassion."

"Andwhy?Perhapsyouhavetakenforapassionwhatwasreallyonlyapassingmomentoftemper?"

Itdoesnotdotoalarmpenitents.

"Ah!notatall,itwasreallyapassion,father.Mydresshadjustbeentornfromtoptobottom;andreallyitisstrangethatoneshouldbeexposedtosuchmishapsonapproachingthetribunalof----"

"Collectyourself,mydearMadame,collectyourself,"andassumingaseriouslookIbestowedmybenedictionuponher.

TheCountesssoughttocollectherself,butIsawverywellthathertroubledspiritvainlystrovetorecoveritself.Byasingular

phenomenonIcouldseeintoherbrain,andherthoughtsappearedtomeoneaftertheother.Shewassayingtoherself,"Letmecollectmyself;ourFather,givemegracetocollectmyself,"butthemoreeffortshemadetorestrainherimaginationthemoreitbecamedifficulttorestrainandslippedthroughherfingers."Ihadmadeaseriousexaminationofmyconscience,however,"sheadded."NottenminutesagoasIwasgettingoutofmycarriageIcountedupthreesins;therewasoneaboveallIwishedtomention.Howtheselittlethingsescapeme!Imusthavelefttheminthecarriage."Andshecouldnothelpsmilingtoherselfattheideaofthesethreelittlesinslostamongthecushions."AndthepoorAbbewaitingformeinhisbox.Howhotitmustbeinthere!heisquitered.GoodHeavens!howshallIbegin?Icannotinventfaults?Itisthattorndresswhichhasupsetme.AndthereisLouise,whoisto

meetmeatfiveo'clockatthedressmaker's.Itisimpossibleformetocollectmyself.OGod,donotturnawayyourfacefromme,andyou,Lord,whocanreadinmysoul--Louisewillwaittillaquarterpastfive;besides,thebodicefits--thereisonlytheskirttotryon.AndtothinkthatIhadthreesinsonlyaminuteago."

Allthesedifferentthoughts,piousandprofane,werestrugglingtogetheratonceintheCountess'sbrain,sothatIthoughtthemomenthadcometointerfereandhelpheralittle.

"Come,"Isaid,inapaternalvoice,leaningforwardbenevolentlyandtwistingmysnuff-boxinmyfingers."Come,mydearMadame,andspeakfearlessly;haveyounothingtoreproachyourselfwith?Haveyouhadno

impulsesof--worldlycoquetry,nowishtodazzleattheexpenseofyourneighbor?"

IhadavagueideathatIshouldnotbecontradicted.

"Yes,father,"shesaid,smoothingdownherbonnetstrings,"sometimes;butIhavealwaysmadeanefforttodriveawaysuchthoughts."

"Thatgoodintentioninsomedegreeexcusesyou,butreflectandseehowemptyaretheselittletriumphsofvanity,howunworthyofatrulypoor


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soulandhowtheydrawitasidefromsalvation.Iknowthattherearecertainsocialexigencies--society.Yes,yes,butafterallonecaneveninthosepleasureswhichtheChurchtolerates--Isaytolerates--bringtobearthatperfumeofgood-willtowardone'sneighborofwhichtheScripturesspeak,andwhichistheappanage--insomedegree...thegloriousappanage.Yes,yes,goon."

"Father,Ihavenotbeenabletoresistcertaintemptationstogluttony."

"Again,again!Beginwithyourself.Youarehereatthetribunalofpenitence;well,promiseGodtostruggleenergeticallyagainsttheselittlecarnaltemptations,whicharenotinthemselvesserioussins--oh!no,Iknowit--but,afterall,theseconstantsolicitationsproveapersistentattachment--displeasingtoHim--tothefugitiveanddeceitfuldelightsofthisworld.Hum,hum!andhasthisgluttonyshownitselfbymoreblameworthyactionsthanusual--isitsimplythesameaslastmonth?"

"Thesameaslastmonth,father."

"Yes,yes,pastrybetweenmeals,"Isighedgravely.

"Yes,father,andalmostalwaysaglassofCapriorofSyracuseafterit."

"OrofSyracuseafterit.Well,letthatpass,letthatpass."

Ifanciedthatthementionofthispastryandthosechoicewineswasbecomingasourceofstrayingthoughtsonmypart,forwhichImentallyaskedforgivenessofheaven.

"Whatelsedoyourecall?"Iasked,passingmyhandovermyface.

"Nothingelse,father;Idonotrecollectanythingelse."

"Wellletasincererepentancespringupinyourheartforthesinsyouhavejustadmitted,andforthosewhichyoumayhaveforgotten;commune

withyourself,humbleyourselfinthepresenceofthegreatactyouhavejustaccomplished.Iwillgiveyouabsolution.Goinpeace."

TheCountessrose,smiledatmewithdiscreetcourtesy,and,resumingherordinaryvoice,saidinalowtone,"TillSaturdayevening,then?"

Ibowedasasignofassent,butfeltratherembarrassedonaccountofmysacredcharacter.

CHAPTERVII

ANEMBASSYBALL

"Don'tsaythatitisnotpretty,"addedmyaunt,brushingthefiredogwiththetipofhertinyboot."Itlendsanespecialcharmtothelook,Imustacknowledge.Acloudofpowderismostbecoming,atouchofrougehasacharmingeffect,andeventhatblueshadowthattheyspread,Idon'tknowhow,undertheeye.Whatcoquettessomewomenare!DidyounoticeAnna'seyesatMadamedeSieurac'slastThursday?Isitallowable?Frankly,canyouunderstandhowanyonecandare?"


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"Well,aunt,Ididnotobjecttothoseeyes,andbetweenourselvestheyhadasoftness."

"Idonotdenythat,theyhadasoftness."

"Andatthesametimesuchastrangebrilliancybeneaththathalfshadow,anexpressionofsuchdeliciouslanguor."

"Yes,certainly,but,afterall,itismakinganexhibitionofone'sself.Butforthat--itisveryprettysometimes--IhaveseenintheBoischarmingcreaturesundertheirred,theirblack,andtheirblue,fortheyputonbluetoo,Godforgiveme!"

"Yes,aunt,Polishblue;itisputonwithastump;itisfortheveins."

Withinterest:"Theyimitateveins!Itisshocking,uponmyword.Butyouseemtoknowallaboutit?"

"Oh,Ihaveplayedsoofteninprivatetheatricals;Ihaveevenquiteacollectionoflittlepotsofcolor,hare's-feetstumps,pencils,etcetera."

"Ah!youhave,yourascal!Areyougoingtothefancyballatthe

Embassyto-morrow?"

"Yes,aunt;andyou,areyougoingincharacter?"

"Onemust,sinceeveryoneelsewill.Theysaytheeffectwillbesplendid."Afterasilence:"Ishallwearpowder;doyouthinkitwillsuitme?"

"Betterthananyone,mydearaunt;youwilllookadorable,Ifeelcertain."

"Weshallsee,youlittlecourtier."

Sherose,gavemeherhandtokisswithanairofexquisitegrace,andseemedabouttowithdraw,then,seeminglychanginghermind:

"SinceyouaregoingtotheEmbassyto-morrow,Ernest,callforme;Iwillgiveyouaseatinthecarriage.Youcangivemeyouropiniononmycostume,andthen,"shebrokeintoalaugh,andtakingmebythehand,addedinmyear:"Bringyourlittlepotsandcomeearly.Thisisbetweenourselves."Sheputherfingertoherlipasasignalfordiscretion."Tilltomorrow,then."

Thefollowingeveningmyaunt'sbedroompresentedaspectacleofmostwilddisorder.

Hermaidandthedressmaker,withhaggardeyes,fortheyhadbeenupallnight,werebothontheirknees,rummagingamidstthebowsofsatin,andfeverishlystickinginpins.

"Howlateyouare,"saidmyaunttome."Doyouknowthatitiseleveno'clock?andwehave,"shecontinued,showingherwhiteteeth,"agreatmanythingstodoyet.Thehorseshavebeenputtothislasthour.Iamsuretheywilltakecoldinthaticycourtyard."Asshespokeshestretchedoutherfoot,shodwithared-heeledslipper,glitteringwith


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goldembroidery.Herplumpfootseemedtooverflowthesideoftheshoeatrifle,andthroughtheopenworkofherbrightsilkstockingtherosyskinofherankleshowedatintervals.

"Whatdoyouthinkofme,MonsieurArtist?"

"But,Countess,mydearaunt,Imean,I--IamdazzledbythisJulysun,thebrightestofalltheyear,youknow.Youareadorable,adorable--andyourhair!"

"Isitnotwellarranged?Silvanididit;hehasnothisequal,thatman.Thediamondsinthehairgosplendidly,andthenthisloftystyleofhead-dressinggivesamajesticturntotheneck.IdonotknowwhetheryouareawarethatIhavealwaysbeenacoquetteasregardsmyneck;itismyonlybitofvanity.Haveyoubroughtyourlittlecolor-pots?"

"Yes,aunt,Ihavethewholeapparatus,andifyouwillsitdown--"

"Iamfrightfullypale-justalittle,Ernest;youknowwhatItoldyou,"andsheturnedherhead,presentingherrighteyetome.Icanstillseethateye.

Idonotknowwhatstrangeperfume,foreigntoauntsingeneral,rose

fromhergarments.

"Youunderstand,mydearboy,thatitisonlyanoccasionlikethepresent,andthenecessitiesofahistoricalcostume,thatmakemeconsenttopaintlikethis."

"Mydearlittleaunt,ifyoumove,myhandwillshake."And,indeed,intouchingherlonglashes,myhandtrembled.

"Ah!yes,inthecorner,alittle--youareright,itgivesasoftness,avagueness,a--itisveryfunny,thatlittlepotofblue.Howuglyitmustbe!Howthingsleadononetoanother!Onceone'shairispowdered,onemusthavealittlepearlpowderonone'sfaceinordernot

tolookasyellowasanorange;andone'scheeksoncewhitened,onecan't--youareticklingmewithyourbrush--onecan'tremainlikeamiller,soatouchofrougeisinevitable.Andthen--seehowwickeditis--if,afterallthat,onedoesnotenlargetheeyesabit,theylookasiftheyhadbeenboredwithagimlet,don'tthey?Itislikethisthatonegoesonlittlebylittle,tillonecomestothegallows."

Myauntbegantolaughfreely,asshestudiedherface.

"Ah!thatisveryeffectivewhatyouhavejustdone--wellundertheeye,that'sit.Whatanimationitgivestothelook!Howcleverthosecreaturesare,howwelltheyknoweverythingthatbecomesone!Itisshameful,forwiththemitisatrick,nothingmore.Oh!youmayputon

alittlemoreofthatblueofyours,Iseewhatitdoesnow.Ithasaverygoodeffect.Howyouarearchingtheeyebrows.Don'tyouthinkitisalittletooblack?YouknowIshouldnotliketolookasif--youareright,though.Wheredidyoulearnallthat?Youmightearnadealofmoney,doyouknow,ifyousetupapractice."

"Well,aunt,areyousatisfied?"

Myauntheldherhand-glassatadistance,broughtitnear,helditawayagain,smiled,and,leaningbackinherchair,said:"Itmustbe


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acknowledgedthatitischarming,this.Whatdoyourfriendscallit?"

"Make-up,aunt."

"Itisvexatiousthatithasnotanothername,forreallyIshallhaverecoursetoitfortheevening--fromtimetotime.Itiscertainthatitisattractive.Haven'tyoualittleboxforthelips?"

"Hereitis."

"Ah!inabottle,itisliquid."

"Itisakindofvinegar,asyousee.Don'tmove,aunt.Putoutyourlipsasifyouwishedtokissme.Youdon'tbychancewantto?"

"Yes,andyoudeserveit.Youwillteachmeyourlittleaccomplishments,willyounot?"

"Willingly,aunt."

"Yourvinegarismiraculous!whatbrightnessitgivestothelips,andhowwhiteone'steethlook.Itistruemyteethwerealways--"

"Anotherofyourbitsofvanity."

"Itisdone,then.Thankyou."Shesmiledatmemincingly,forthevinegarstungherlipsalittle.

Withhermoistenedfingershetookapatchwhichsheplacedwithcharmingcoquetryunderhereye,andanotherwhichsheplacednearthecornerofhermouth,andthen,radiantandadorable,exclaimed:"Hideawayyourlittlecolor-pots;Ihearyourunclecomingforme.Claspmybraceletsforme.Midnight!Omypoorhorses!"

Atthatmomentmyuncleenteredinsilkshortsandadomino.

"IhopeIdonotintrude,"saidhe,gayly,onseeingme.

"Whatnonsense!"saidmyaunt,turningtowardhim."ErnestisgoingtotheEmbassy,likeourselves,andIhaveofferedhimaseatinthecarriage."

Attheaspectofmyaunt,myuncle,dazzled,heldouthisglovedhandtoher,saying,"Youareenchantingthisevening,mydear."Then,withaslysmile,"Yourcomplexionhasafinebrightness,andyoureyeshaveawonderfulbrilliancy."

"Oh,itisthefiretheyhavebeenmakingup--itisstiflinghere.Butyou,mydear,youlooksplendid;Ihaveneverseenyourbeardsoblack."

"ItisbecauseIamsopale--Iamfrozen.Jeanforgottolookaftermyfireatall,anditwentout.Areyouready?"

Myauntsmiledinturnasshetookupherfan.

CHAPTERVIII


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MYAUNTASVENUS

SincethatdaywhenIkissedMadamedeB.rightonthecentreoftheneck,assheheldoutherforeheadtome,therehascreptintoourintercourseanindescribable,coquettishcoolness,whichisneverthelessbynomeansunpleasant.Thematterofthekisshasneverbeencompletelyexplained.IthappenedjustasIleftSaint-Cyr.Iwasfullofardor,andthecravingsofmyheartsometimesblindedme.Isay

monsieur, madame, and bebe — volume 01 by droz, gustave, 1832-1895

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