MoralInjury:SpiritualResiliencyandSoulRepair

Rev.RitaNakashimaBrock,Ph.D.,ResearchProfessorofTheologyandCultureandFoundingCo-DirectoroftheSoulRepairCenteratBriteDivinitySchool,www.soulrepair.org

ThedaughterofanArmyveteranofKoreaandthestepdaughterofanArmyveteranofWorldWarIIandVietnam,Dr.Brockwasraisedinamilitaryfamily.Shewasaprofessorfor18yearsbeforebecomingDirectorofathink-tankfordistinguishedscholarsatHarvardUniversity—theRadcliffeInstituteforAdvancedStudy.From2001-2002,shewasafellowattheHarvardDivinitySchoolCenterforValuesinPublicLife.Aninternationallydistinguishedlecturerandaward-winningauthor,hermostrecentbookisSoulRepair:RecoveringfromMoralInjuryAfterWar,co-authoredwithGabriellaLettini.

MoralInjuryis:Theviolationofwhat’srightbyapersoninauthorityinahighstakessituation.

--JonathanShayAchillesinVietnam:CombattraumaandtheUndoingofCharacter.NewYork:AtheneumimprintofMacmillan,1998.

‘MoralInjury’isatermusedtodescribeasyndromeofshame,self-handicapping,anger,anddemoralizationthatoccurswhendeeplyheldbeliefsandexpectationsaboutmoralandethicalconductaretransgressed.Itisdistinctfromalifethreatasitisalsonotinherentlyfear-based;rather,duringwar,moralinjurycanarisefromkilling,perpetrationofviolence,betrayalsoftrustinleaders,witnessingdepravedbehavior,orfailingtopreventseriousunethicalacts.

--B.Litz,et.al.,AdaptiveDisclosure:ANewTreatmentforMilitaryTrauma,Loss,andMoralInjury,p.21Whendoeswarend?(numbersrefertoreferencesbelow)

• Whenthetroopscomehome,warremainswiththem,andthestruggletoreturntocivilianlifecanfeelworsethancombat.(1,8,13)

• Thegreaterthesenseofpersonalresponsibilityforanactofwar,thehigherthesuiciderisk.(11)• Veteranswhohavekilledhavea3timesgreaterrateofsuicidethanothervets,independentof

otherfactorssuchasPTSD,depression,andaddiction.(11)• Ratesinyoungervetsandactivedutymilitaryhavebeenrisingsince2005.NCOratesarehigherthan

officers.Womenhavehigherratesthanmen,withanestimatedfourtosixtimeshigherrateofmilitarysexualassault(Note:53%ofvictimsareMALE)andhigherpost-traumaticstressrates.Overallveteransuicideratesaresquishy,withonly20statesreporting(withoutTexasorCalifornia),butareminimally22adayorthreetimescivilianrates.(1)

• Around52,000veteransofOEFandOIFhavephysicalinjuries.Around500,000(tentimesasmany)or25%havesoughtVAhelpforinvisiblewoundslikeposttraumaticstressandover50%admitstrugglingwiththereturnhome.(8)

• Familieshavetodealwiththestressesofdeploymentsandthestressesofhavingadifferentpersoncomehome.Wecannotexpectthemtohandleallthedifficultiesofcombatantscominghome.(8)

HowMoralFormationHappensfromAges2to28(CortexOrganizationandDevelopment)

• Mimicryofcaregiversviamirrorneuronsformsneuralpathwaysviaattentionandrepetitionsomoralbehaviorisnotconscious(“Dumbfounding”—peopleordinarilybehavemorallyviabodymemory,withoutconsciousintent).Neuroplasticitycontinuesthroughoutlifeaswelearnnewskillsviaattentionandrepetition.

• Ritualteachesandorganizesmoralvalues(ritual=directed,prescribed,repeatedbehaviorsthatbecomehabitualwithinaculturalmeaningsystem)ascapacitytothinkandorganizememorygrows.

• Ritualdeliversmeaning(valuesystem)withfeeling(relationshipstructures)tolinguisticpatterns(words)andnarratives(storiesand/orreligiousmyths),sodoingrituallinkstomeaningandfeeling.

• Feelingsarecontagiousatunconsciouslevelsbecauseofourconstantattunementtoothers.• Moralreasoningisgroundedinmeaningframesandbecomesnecessarywhenmoralconflictsarise.• Ritualreconditioning,ifintenseandprolonged,canlayernewmoralsystemsontopofearlierones,

especiallyinformativestagesoflateadolescenceandearlyadulthood.• Previousmoralsystemsarenotfullyerased,butfunctionlikeapalimpsest(fromGrk:pálinagain+

psēstósscraped,rubbed;avellumorparchmentmanuscriptpagefromascrollorbook,fromwhichthetexthasbeeneitherscrapedorwashedoffsothatthepagecanbereused.Erasedmaterialbleeds

throughorcanbedetectedviaUVlight.)Oldcontentcanberetainedandchallengenewsystems,orremainasatelltaletracethathauntsthenewsystem.

• Transitioningfromonemoralsystemtoanothercancausestruggleorevenimpassewhenintegratingconflictingsystems(ex.Killingiscriminalvs.killingenemiesisgood).

WhatisSoulorSpirit?

• EmotionalConnectionofResonancewithExistentialSelf-Awareness(self-otherdistinction)ü Vicariousemotions:bodilyandemotionalawarenessofinternalstateofothersbutawareness

thatthisisnotpersonal(notemotionalcontagionbutemotionalengagementwithothers)ü Awarenessofdifferencebetweenselfandotherthatevokesdesiretohelpthoseindistress,

withoutconfusingselfandother—akindofemotionalmirroring(doesnotrequiresympathy,i.e.havinghadasimilarexperience)

ü Mentalflexibility,perspective,andself-regulation(i.e.painregulationandeffortfulself-control)=integrationoffeelingandthinking

• DeepConnectiontoHumanityinOthersandtoGoodnessofLifeBeyondSelf• CapacityforTrust,Love,Generosity,Gratitude,Play,InnerPeace,andCalm—the“stillpointina

storm”• EmpathyandConscienceviaPresenceandFocusedAwarenessofSelfandOther

TheBrain-BodySelf

Brainhasthreelayersthatinteractwiththebody.

1. Lowerbrainstemthatcontrolsfunctionslikebreathing,heartrate,digestion,etc.

2. MidBrainorlimbicsystem(enlargedinMRIPTSDimage)controlsperception,emotions,andmemoryprocesses.Regulateshowwerelatetotheworldaroundusviaperceptionandemotionsthatdetermineresponses,oftenbeforeconsciousthought.Extremeemotionscanbedifficulttooverridebythinking.Esp.theAmygdala=thefearcenter.

3. Top(topofMRIimages),calledprefrontalcortexorexecutivebrain,managesmoralreasoning,behavior,pattern,andtimemanagement,andprocessesmeaning,empathy,andnarrativememory.

MilitaryTrainingChangesEarlierCivilianMoralSystemfor“BattleReadiness”

• BasicTrainingSocializestoaNewMoralSystemviaRitualwithinaTotalSystemü Intense,prolonged,severereconditioningofwholepersontorestrictattachmenttopersonal

identity.ü Focusedgroupethosandbonding.ü Strong,ritualized,controlledaspectsofallactivities(includingsleep,foodconsumption,

elimination,walking,etc.),withmessagingandnew,insiderlanguage.ü Emphasizesnewmoralcodes:candor,commitment,courage,confidence,competence,

camaraderie,rulesofengagement.ü Teachesreflexivefiretraininginshootingtospeedresponsesandassureskill.ü Collectiveconsequencesforindividualfailure.

• MilitaryTrainingisthoroughandpreparespeopleforvariousrolesinwar.ü Warprovesvalueoftraining.Theymustacceptresponsibilityforexercisinglethalpower

underordersandonbehalfofthenation,whichsendsthemandpaysforit.ü Failureofdutyandincompetencecanhavelifeanddeathconsequences.

PostTraumaticStressIsARealInjury

War:HighStressConditionsofViolencewithSituationsofMoralAmbiguityandTraumaticInjury

• PTSDdefinedasatrauma-relateddisorder,withterror-relatedsymptoms.(20)• Extremeterror(includingangerandaggression)canoverstimulatefearcenters,whichgrowto

handleoverloadoffearandbecomeoveractive.Thinkingcortexlosestissueandweakens.• PTSDdiagnosisisstress-traumaproblemwithdominationbyfearresponses:hyper-vigilance,

startlereflex,panicattacks,shallowbreaths,agoraphobia,etc..• Fearshutsdownmemoryprocessing(hippocampus)sostoredexperiencesarescattered,

disorganized.Memoryparasitescaneruptasflashbacksornightmares,dissociativedisorders.

DiagrambyBillNashinWoods,D.(19)EmotionsInvolvedinMoralInjury

• Anger,Outrage—J.Shay(15)referstoberserkrageatbetrayalbyauthoritiesinVietnamgeneration.• Embarrassment• Guilt—outwardmovingtorepairrelationship,survivorguilt,guiltatnotdeploying• Failure—unabletosavefriendorcompletemission• Shame—comprehensiveself-condemnation,isolating,self-loathing• Alienation—hidinginnerself,feelingunworthyofloveorfearingthatotherswilljudge,feeling

dividedwithinoneself• Humiliation—whenshameismadepublic• Remorse—regretandurgetomakeamends• Grief—inabiitytoprocessmassivelosses,canpresentasanger• Despair—nowaytobecomedecentselfagain,depression

Relation)of)PTSD)to)Moral)Injury)

Documentary“Korengal”:SgtBrendonO’Byrne,USAAirbornereflectingonhisexperienceatCampRestrepointheKorengalValleyofAfghanistan.

IstartedthinkingthatGodhatesme…I'mnotreligiousoranything,butIfeltliketherewasthishateforme....That'stheterriblethingofwar.Youdoterriblethingsandyouhavetolivewiththemafterwardsbutyou'ddothemthesamewayifyouhadtogoback.Sowhatdoyoudo?It'sanevil,evil,evilthinginsideyourbody.It'slike…goodversusevilinsidethere….

MoralDisruptionsofWar• ReflexiveFireTraining–shootingwithoutthinking• DehumanizationofEnemy–alsodehumanizesself• EncounteringandHandlinghumanremains–traumaticencounterswithdeathandthedead• Killing,espkillingoutsiderulesofengagement

• Noncombatants• Friendlyfire• Rage,elation,orvengeancekilling

• FailuretoSaveOthers–Losingabattlebuddy• FailureofLeadership• Doubtaboutgoalsormission• LossofFaithandMeaning• SexualAssault—betrayalbyfellowsoldiers• BetrayalbyAuthorities–Vietnamgeneration

LossesinComingHomeandBecomingaCivilian

• Lossofclosestfriends;isolationfromunit• Lossofinnocenceorsenseofgoodness• Lossofunitdisciplineandsystemthatsustainedphysicalhealth• Lossofweapon• Lossofrole/purposeforothers• Lossoffamilyorcapacityforintimacy–conflict/divorce• Lossoffaithandmeaningcommunity• Lossofself—willneverbethesame,foreverchanged

MoralInjuryExposures:WhatTheyCan’tForget

“We are still living in the wreckage created by the Cabinet on which Mr. McNamara served. … The ghosts of those unlived lives circle close around Mr. McNamara. Surely he must in every quiet and prosperous moment hear the ceaseless whispers of those poor boys in the infantry, dying in the tall grass, platoon by platoon, for no purpose. What he took from them cannot be repaid by prime-time apology and stale tears, three decades late. …That black wall is wide with the names of people who died in a war that he did not, at first, carefully research or, in the end, believe to be necessary.”

--New York Times, April 12, 1995 Betrayal by authorities

AspectsofMoralInjury• Canemergelongaftereventsorexperiences,liketheresidueofapalimpsest.• Isanaspectofeverywarandmilitaryservice• CreatesIsolation• Canresultfromothertraumassuchasnaturaldisasters,sexualassault,etc.• Canaffectmanyprofessions(medical,lawenforcement,socialwork,ministry)• Canemergeas“secondary”REALtraumaincaregivers

SpiritualResiliencyandSoulRepair

Individual/SocialDimensionsofLong-termRecovery• Writingpersonalnarratives;externalizinginnerstruggleandtellingstorytoothersmanytimes.As

theyareretold,theolderlayersoftheselfcanemergeintheretellings,likeaUVlightthrownonthememories.

• Talkingtobenevolentmoralauthoritytoprocessmoralandtheologicalstruggles• Integratingmemory/storyintolargerpicture—gainperspectiveontrauma,ratherthanbecontrolled

bytrauma;asmemoryisprocessedovertime,itwillchangeasnewexperiencesaccumulate• Reconnectionwithestrangedothers,espfamily• Veteransupportsystems;findingcommunitybeyondotherveterans• RehumanizationofEnemies,lessenneedtohateorfear• CompanionsforSupport• Long-termaccountabilitycommunitytosustainprocess

Rituals

• Lamentationtoprocessgriefforvariouskindsoflosses.• Liminalspace(sequesteroutsideordinarytimeandspace—“eternalnow”)totransitionfrom

militarylifeandidentitytociviliancommunitythatunderstandsandcares(ex.NavajoEnemyway,orancientChristianpenancesystem).Thisprocessplacesanindividualstorywithinthecontextofalargeronetorestoremeaningandbelonging.

• Regularuseofarts,suchasmusic,dance,theater,writinggroups,visualart,tointegrateallthreebrainareasandprocessexperience.

• Findwaystorehumanizeenemies,restoreconnectionstolife,anddeepenvulnerabilityinrelationships.

• Formalcommissioningforserviceworkbeingpartofateam,othersymbolsofbelongingtoalargermissionandmeaningsystem.Individuallifematterstoothers.

Community/CongregationWork:

• Manypeoplecanhavemoralinjury,espthosewhoworkunderemergencylifeordeathconditions(medicalcaregivers,EMTs,lawenforcementofficers,prisonguards,gangmembers,peopleinnaturaldisasters,etc.)

• Preachonmoralinjuryandeducateyourentirecommunityaboutit• Encourageallinthecommunitytoreflectontheirrelationshiptowar,moralinjury,andmilitary

service,includingwhattheycanlearnfromveterans.

LifeHeldByRituals

§  Rhythmsoftheliturgicalyearbringrenewalviameaningsystemcreatedfromritualandstories

§  Transformationviaconstantrepetition(ritual)

§  Powerofarttointegrateviavisual,audial,kinesthetic,andsensualforms

§  Dramaticreenactmentofsacredstoriesoftraumaandredemption—powerofimagination

• Prepareawelcomingcontextbyü Offeringministriesofpresencethroughopenheartedacceptanceü Practicingdeeplistening(seedetailsbelow)ü Attendingtowaystocreatesafegatheringspacesforthosestrugglingwithpost-traumatic

stresssymptomsandmoralinjuryü Notexpectingallveteranswhoparticipateinprogramstoattendworshiporjointhechurch

• Thinkcreativelyabouthowpeoplecanbeinyourcommunity,iftheyarenotinterestedinorareunabletobeinregularworshipservices

ü Singinggroupswithritualsü Ministrythroughanimals(equinetherapy,servicedogs,andpets)ü SportsorFestivalsthathelprestoreplayfulness,relaxationü Prayer/meditationgroupsü Tension/TraumaReleaseActivities(http://traumaprevention.com/)ü Ritualsspecificallyforveteransandfriendsü HostingaMoralInjuryRecoveryGroup(seeCenterwebsiteforbookletunder“Resources”)

• Organizegroupsthatfacilitatetellingpersonalstories(storiesneedtobetoldmultipletimesforapersontogetcontroloftheirstory)

ü Discussiongroupstostudymemoirs,warnovels,poetry,oressays(sixweekstudyguideforthebookSoulRepairattheCenterwebsite,under“Resources”)

ü MoralinjuryRecoveryGroupü Writinggroupsusingwritingpromptstocreatepoetryorpersonalstoriesü Artcreationgroups,visual,kinesthetic,musical,literary,etc.

• Developritualpracticegroupstolearnandsustainembodiedcalmingprocesses,reflection,spiritualdisciplines

ü Meditationü ContemplativePrayerü Yogaü LabyrinthWalking

• OfferopportunitiesforServicetoOthersandWaystoInteractwhilerestoringbalanceofgoodintheworld(TikkunOlam,repairingtheworld)

• Workwithcampusministersandemployerstoeducatecommunitiesaboutmoralinjuryandhowtosupportrecovery—don’ttreatveteransasaspecialneedspopulation,butaspeoplewhocontributetothecommunityandexperiencenormalhumanreactionstoextremecircumstancesandstress.

• Encouragetheologicalschoolstoteachcoursesonmoralinjury(asamplesyllabusisattheCenterwebsite,under“Resources”)

Rememberthatmoralinjuryisnotadisorder,butanormalhumanresponsetoextremityandthedisruptiveimpactonthehumansoulofviolenceandmoralfailure.Respectforveteransmeanswemustbewillingtolistenandlearnfromthem,toacceptourresponsibilityforwhattheywereaskedtodoonourbehalf(whetherornotweagreedwithit)andtobefriendthem,ratherthanthinkingthatwearetakingcareoforsavingthem.Ittakesalongjourneyforallofustorecover,butrecoveryispossible.JoinourFacebookdiscussionandinformationgroup—MoralInjury:RebuildingtheHouse

Visittheresourcespageatwww.brite.edu/soulrepair

Youwillfindanannotatedbibliographyoffictionandnonfictionbooksaswellasnewsarticles,essays,blogs,films,andvideos.Thereareresourcesforcongregations,forscholarsandclergy,andforthegeneralpublic.

Ifyoufindausefulresourcethatisnotlisted,pleaseletusknowaboutitbyemailingDr.Brockatr.n.brock@tcu.edu.

ProfessionalSelf-Care

FactorsinProfessionalBurnout• Stressfuljob(HighStakes,Lackof

Control)• Constantneedfordocumentation• Hostileorincompetentauthority

environment

• ReducedSenseofPersonalAccomplishment

• Inadequatedowntimeorrest• Lonelyorisolatedbyrankorjob• FamilyPressure

ThingstodoinSelf-Care• Taketimetoreflectandpauseto

think• Talktoyourselfasanother

person

• Keepajournalandwritedaily• Learnaspiritualpracticetocalm

down

Referencesforthispowerpoint:

1. “2012SuicideDataReport:VHAResponseandExecutiveSummary,”http://www.va.gov/opa/docs/response-and-execsum-suicide-data-report-2012-final.pdf.

2. Alcorta,C.S.andSosis,R.2005.“Ritual,Emotion,andSacredSymbols:TheEvolutionofReligionasanAdaptiveComplex.”HumanNature,vol.16,no.4:323–359.

KeyPiecesforRecov

ery

ü Processingmemoryü Feelingheardü Unseenwoundsacknowledged

ü Acceptingandprocessingmemories

andfeelingsü Retellingstorytogaincontrolof

memoryandthoughtprocess

ü RitualProcessesforTransformation

ü Rebuildingrelationshipsü Regainingamoralidentitythrough

contributionstoothers

Recovery((

SLEEP!!!!

3. Dewey,L.2004.WarandRedemptionTreatmentandRecoveryinCombat-RelatedTraumaticStressDisorder.BurlingtonVT:AshgatePubLtd.

4. Drescher,K.,et.al.,2013,“MoralityandMoralInjury:InsightsfromTheologyandHealthScience,”ReflectivePractice:FormationandSupervisioninMinistry,vol.33http://journals.sfu.ca/rpfs/index.php/rpfs/article/viewFile/262/261.

5. Drescher,K.,et.al.,2011.“AnExplorationoftheViabilityandUsefulnessoftheConstructofMoralInjuryinWarVeterans,”Traumatology.vol.17no.1,8-13.

6. Goodell,J.andHearn,J.E.2011.ShadeItBlack:DeathandafterinIraq.Philadelphia:CasematePublishers.

7. Hosek,J.ed.,2011,“HowisDeploymenttoIraqandAfghanistanaffectingU.S.serviceMembersandTheirFamilies?”RANDNationalDefenseResearchInstitute,http://www.rand.org/content/dam/rand/pubs/occasional_papers/2011/RAND_OP316.pdf.

8. Junger,S.Director.2014.“Korengal,”GoldCrestFilms.Levine,M.ed.http://korengalthemovie.com/.

9. Knowles,C.2013.“NotestowardaNeuropsychologyofMoralInjury,”ReflectivePractice:FormationandSupervisioninMinistry.vol.33

10. Maguen,S.,et.al.2011.“KillinginCombat,MentalHealthSymptoms,andSuicidalIdeationinIraqWarVeterans,”JournalofAnxietyDisorders25,no.4:563-567.

11. Nez.C.andAvila,J.S.2011.CodeTalker:TheFirstandOnlyMemoirByOneoftheOriginalNavajoCodeTalkersofWWII.NewYork:PenguinGroup.

12. PewResearchSocialandDemographicTrends,“WarandSacrificeinthePost-9/11Era:TheMilitary-CivilianGap,”Oct.5,2011,http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2011/10/05/war-and-sacrifice-in-the-post-911-era/

13. Schwartz,J.andBegley,S.2003.TheMindandtheBrain:NeuroplasticityandthePowerofMentalForce.NewYork,NY:HarperPerennial.

14. Shay,J.1994.AchillesinVietnam:CombatTraumaandtheUndoingofCharacter.NewYork:Scribner.

15. Synder,J.2014“’Blood,Guts,andGoreGalore’:Bodies,MoralPollution,andCombatTrauma”SymbolicInteraction.September2014.DOI:10.1002/SYMB.116.

16. VanDerKolk,B.2014.TheBodyKeepstheScore:Brain,Mind,andBodyintheHealingofTrauma.NewYork,NY:PenguinGroupLLC.

17. Verkamp,G.2005.MoralTreatmentofReturningWarriorsinEarlyMedievalandModernTimes.Scranton:UofScrantonPress.

18. Woods,D.,“MoralInjury,”HuffingtonPost,March18-20,2014,http://projects.huffingtonpost.com/moral-injury.

19. SeeVAwebsiteformanyresourcesonPTSD,http://www.ptsd.va.gov/RecommendedKeyResources:B.Litz,et.al.,AdaptiveDisclosure:ANewTreatmentforMilitaryTrauma,Loss,andMoralInjury,New

York:GuilfordPress,2016.R.BrockandG.Lettini,SoulRepair:RecoveryfromMoralInjuryAfterWar,Boston:BeaconPress,

2012.W.P.Nash,et.al.,“PsychometricEvaluationoftheMoralInjuryEventsScale,”2013,v.178Issue6:

646-652.http://publications.amsus.org/doi/full/10.7205/MILMED-D-13-00017S.Rambo,SpiritandTrauma:ATheologyofRemaining,Louisville,KY:WestminsterJohnKnoxPress,

2010.“ChangingtheConversation:TheologizingWarintheTwentyFirstCentury,”TheologyToday,

69(4)441–462:“ShellyRambo:Thespacebetweendeathandresurrection,”July28,2014,

https://www.faithandleadership.com/qa/shelly-rambo-the-space-between-death-and-resurrection

ReflectivePractice,2013,Volume33,“SpiritualityinFormationandSupervision.”http://journals.sfu.ca/rpfs/index.php/rpfs/issue/view/49

M.Yandell,VeteransPanel,Midland,TXhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ex_2pS6Ekkk

WaysofDeepListening1.Smallgroups:http://www.spiritualityandpractice.com/practices/features.php?id=15570

InTheSacredArtofListening,KayLindahlwrites:

There'ssomethingbeyondtechniquewhentwoormorepeoplearedeeplylisteningtoeachother.Itisanawarenessthatnotonlyarewepresenttoeachother,wearepresenttosomethingthatissacredhappeningtheliminalspaceofthespiritual.

Such"deeplistening"goesagainsttheculturalgrain.LindahlcitesresearchstudiesbytheInternationalListeningAssociation:wespendabout45percentofourtimelistening,butwearedistracted,preoccupied,orforgetfulabout75percentofthattime.Theaverageattentionspanforadultsisabout22seconds.Immediatelyafterlisteningtosomeonetalk,weusuallyrecallonlyabouthalfofwhatwe'veheard;withinafewhours,onlyabout20percent.

Herearesomeapproachesfordeeplistening.

l.Startwitharitual.Atthebeginning,lightacandleorsoundagong,forex.,tosignifythatthisisatimeforfocusedattention.Theritualmarksthespaceasspecialandheightensthefeelingofintimacyduringaconversation.

2.Listenforunderstanding,notjudgmentorevaluation.Giveyourfullattentiontothespeaker.Thisiseasiertodowhenyouarenotdistractedbyplanningwhatyouwanttosay,youropinion,orhowyoushouldtorespond.Knowingtherewillbenoquestionsandaskingpeopletositinsilenceaftersomeonespeaksallowswhatissaidtosettleintoourheartsandbereceived.Youarenottheretoanalyze,judge,ortrytofixanother'sexperience,justtobefullyawareofthemandtobepresenttothem.Lindahlwrites:"Youdonothavetoagreewithorbelieveanythingthatissaid.Yourjobistolistenforunderstanding."

3.Listenandspeakfromyourheart.Thismeansyoumustbeopenandvulnerable,willingtodescribeyouryearningsandadmityourfailings.Thelisteningspaceislesssafeplaceifwearenothearingwithopenmindsandlovinghearts--andmoreanxiousiflistenersrespondbyevaluatingandjudging—thesearewaysofkeepingothersoutofourhearts.

4.Respectthepoweranddifficultyofspeakingandaskfirstifyouwanttosharesomeone’sstory(thisagreementofwhetherornotcommentsneedtobeconfidentialshouldbedecidedaheadifthegroupisclosedandprivate).

Thisstyleoflisteningwithoutcommentisnotalwaysappropriate.Obviously,thereareoccasionswhenyouneedtobeengagedindialogueandyourresponsesareexpected.Buttrythisapproachtolisteningatleastsomeofthetime.Betrulypresenttothespeaker.Don'tbedistractedbyyourplans,assumptions,judgments,orneedtorespond.Experiencethedeepcommunionthatispossibleasyoudeeplylistentoanother.

2.ClassroomAttentive,ReceptiveListening:http://www.contemplativemind.org/practices/tree/deep-listening

DeepListeningisawayofhearinginwhichwearefullypresentwithwhatishappeninginthemomentwithouttryingtocontrolitorjudgeit.Weletgoofourinnerclamoringandourusualassumptionsandlistenwithrespectforpreciselywhatisbeingsaid.

Forlisteningtobeeffective,werequireacontemplativemind:open,fresh,alert,attentive,calm,andreceptive.Weoftendonothaveaclearconceptoflisteningasanactiveprocess;weoftenseelisteningasapassive,staticactivity.Infact,listeningandacontemplativemindisopenandvibrantyetspacious,anditcanbecultivatedthroughinstructionandpractice.

Asaclassroompractice,deeplisteningrequiresthatstudentswitnesstheirthoughtsandemotionswhilemaintainingfocusedattentiononwhattheyarehearing.Ittrainsthemtopayfullattentiontothesoundofthewords,whileabandoningsuchhabitsasplanningtheirnextstatementorinterruptingthespeaker.Itisattentiveratherthanreactivelistening.Suchlisteningnotonlyincreasesretentionofmaterialbutencouragesinsightandthemakingofmeaning.

Inconversation,weareoftensofocusedonprojectingouropinionsanddefendingouragendathatwefailtohearthevoicesofothers.Thistendencyiswhydeeplisteningpracticeschallengethewaywe

normallyengageinconversation.Deeplisteningpracticesrelyonacommitmenttoself-controlandself-and-other-awareness.

3.Generalresource:http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/what_is_deep_listening.html

From"SlowingDowntotheSpeedofLove"

FromJoeBailey,alicensedpsychologist.

Deeplisteningoccurswhenyourmindisquiet.Yourthoughtsareflowingratherthancrowdingyourmindwithdistractions,interpretations,judgments,conclusions,orassumptions.Yourmindisopen,curious,interested--asthoughyouwerehearingthispersonforthefirsttime.

• Deeplisteningislisteningintentlyandopenly,wearen’tanalyzingorfiguringout--wearesimplylettingthefeelingsandsoundsaffectus.

• Deeplisteningisnotdefensive,argumentative,orintrusive.Itisnotaboutstrugglingtoanalyzeorinterpret.Itisapurelyreceptivestateofmind.Inastateofdeeplistening,werealizeouroneness.

• Werealizethatwearenotseparate,buttrulyonespirit--weareconnected.• Whenwelistendeeply,weletgoofanybeliefswehaveabouttheotherperson.Weletgoofour

prejudicesandpastmemoriesofhimorher.

PreparationviaMeditation:

• Trytositstableandstill,likeamountain.Berelaxedandalert.• Listentowhatyouhear.• Donotimagine,name,oranalyzewhatyouhear.Justlistenwithwide-openawareness.• Asthoughts,emotions,memories,associationsariseinyourmind,noticethem,gentlyletthemgo,

andreturntothespeaker.• Radarthatgoesoutlookingforsomethingandasatellitedishwithawiderangejustsitsinthe

backyard,waiting.Beasatellitedish.Stayturnedonandreceive.• Iftherearenosounds,listen,andrestinthesilence.

Deeplisteningappliesnotonlytocommunicationwithanother,butalsotolisteningtoourselvesandtolifeingeneral.Thegoalofdeeplisteningistohearbeyondthewordsoftheotherpersonandyourself,totheessenceofwhatthewordsandfeelingsarepointingto.Yourmindandheartarejoinedinunion--youarelisteningwholeheartedly.

Thegoalofdeeplisteningistobetouchedbytheotherperson,embracehisorherstoryandtruth,andtoheartheessenceofwhatheorsheissaying.Deeplisteningisbasedonempathyandrespect.Informationprovidedheremaybeusedwithpropercitation.