Mothering on the margins

Exploring how mothers make meaning of an encounter with Child Protection Services

Meghan MulcahyMcGill University

Motivation

Research motivated by a social work practice encounter that occurred in a rural community in Eastern Canada.

When asked, by a woman recently the subject of a child welfare investigation, for plain-language literature on a “normal” emotional response to an investigation I could find no appropriate resources.

Rural mothers’ perspectives

Research initiated as part of a thesis-based Master of Social Work conducted at McGill University in Montreal, QC.

Interviewed women residing in rural communities on the East Coast of Canada who were contacted through RiseUp, an independent, community-based agency.

Methodology

Interviews were audio-recorded, semi-structured, in-depth and lasted approximately 1.5 hours.

Interview guide began with a question asking “Can you describe for me the first time you were contacted by child protection services (CPS)?”

Research Participants

RiseUp contacted Taylor and Catherine

Taylor suggested her friend Joni and the two were interviewed together.

Catherine’s husband Steve joined the interview as it drew to a close.

Rural Context

Impoverished

Low literacy

Aging population

Women parenting alone

Little public transportation

Rural Context

Sparse services: “You’re stuck with who you get, whether

you like them or not.”

Lack of confidentiality: “Everybody talks.” “You don’t know who to trust”.

Lack of anonymity

Participant Vignette: Taylor

Initially contacted following a report she suspected was filed by her abusive ex-husband.

Referred CPS workers to RiseUp staff who attested to her parenting capacity.

File closed shortly thereafter.

Participant Vignette: Joni

Initially contacted following a 911 call reporting that Joni had been slapped by her partner Rob during an argument initiated after a night of drinking.

After a second report, CPS became involved, eventually telling the couple they must separate in order for Joni to retain custody of Alexander, aged 18 months.

The couple continued their relationship, but hid it from CPS.

Research Participant: Joni

Second son, Brandon, apprehended from hospital shortly after his birth.

Both Brandon and Alexander were adopted out of care.

At time of interview, Joni continued her hidden relationship with Rob, was parenting their daughter Hailey, and no longer involved with CPS.

Participant Vignette: CatherineMarried to Steve with whom she has three

children. Contacted CPS after her son, Evan (7) reported being sexually abused by family friend, neighbour, and babysitter Breanna (13).

Breanna and her brother Iain are the children of Catherine’s boss and best friend Tammy and Steve’s friend Mike.

4 instances of direct CPS contact before file was closed.

Initial CPS encounters relatively benign

“I had all my i’s dotted and my t’s crossed…I had it going on for me then. I had just finished my [employment training program] that was sponsored by RiseUp, and I just got accepted to university, and I had a job, and ‘Come on in.’ I had nothing to hide. My kids were there, and you know, the house was clean.” (Taylor)

Deterioration and corruption of the helping

relationship

“He never said nothing. He didn't say “Don't say anything to Evan.” He didn't say the police were gonna be notified. He didn't say, he didn't say anything, right. He just got the gory details and that was the end of it.” (Catherine)

Workers focussed on the investigation, not the family

Workers perceived as overpowering and controlling

“That’s what they make you feel like, like you’re beneath them and that they own

you.” (Taylor)

◦“When you’re under their eye you do everything wrong. Everything. You can’t do nothing right and they pick everything out.” (Joni)

◦“[T]hey don’t believe that he [Rob] can ever change. That’s the way that they look at it. Nobody can change.” (Joni)

Encounters deficit-based

Investigation through unscrupulous methods

“[I]t was just a joke that they wasted their gas money to come out. They could have called first and, you know, they just surprised me. They thought they were going to find something and they didn’t.” (Taylor)

Creation of an atmosphere of mistrust

“I couldn’t trust them and then some of them that you thought you could trust would twist everything around.” (Joni)

Services and interventions perceived as “traps”

“They were just nosey to come into my life... They did parenting with me, but you wanna know what the parenting was? Jean Silver come out, the nosebag, and ask everything that was going on in my life, not anything about parenting. Nothing was done with me whatsoever and they’re writing down that there’s these many sessions done. I said, “What? We gossip and find out what’s going on in my life?” (Joni)

Evidence gathered for use against parents

“What you say can and will be held against you.” (Taylor)

Evidence gives workers “the authority...to take your kids...for next to nothing”

Parents feel apprehension an omnipresent threat

“I don’t believe that they’re always in the best interest of the, the kids. It seems like they get brownie points for the more kids they take or something.”(Taylor)

Apprehension threatened as a mechanism of control

“They said, ‘Joni, you know what you have to do to keep this child. The only time that we’ll be out here is if we get a call and then we apprehend your child.’ (Joni)

Exacerbating impact of systemic problems

Delayed response

“So, it was exactly a month [from the initial report] til they came out. So, if it was that much of a concern, why did it take them a month to come out was one of my questions. You know, ‘If you’re so worried about it, why are you here a month later?’” (Taylor)

Workers unavailable

“I'm emotional on the phone, I'm crying, and I'm like, I'm screaming in the phone “Somebody help me.” You know, “I'm losing my mind here. I don't know what to do. I don't know if I'm coming or going. I don't know what I'm supposed to say to this little boy” (Catherine)

Changes in workers

“I got switched from so many different social workers that it ain’t funny and that was half my problem. One person come in, then it was time for them to leave and someone else would have to come in and they would have to do it all over again to find out who I was and this and that. And then the same bullshit would happen every time. So I never had someone.” (Joni)

Ineffective interventions

“I want to keep my kid”, I said, “you bring someone, even, like, ask them, you bring someone into my house and show me how I’m supposed to live my life to keep my kid”. They wouldn’t do it. Instead, just take my kid away and let someone else pay for it.” (Joni)

Unsafe foster homes

“[T]here’s not even adequate foster care. Half the time the kid’s better off with their Mom if she is drinking or on drugs because of the foster care.” (Taylor)

“They didn’t help by any means”

“I told them ‘Take your sign down cuz don’t, don’t go, you know, don’t go selling yourself that you’re a service to this community. You’re not. What have you done to serve me? Other than dick me around like everybody in here’”. (Taylor)

“[My worker]'s done nothing for me, he's done nothing for my family, and this is family services that's supposed to be there to help.” (Catherine)

“As far as I’m concerned they did me dirty. They didn’t help by any means at all.” (Joni)

Beating CPS at their own game

Protecting against CPS

“At the top of the list, get an advocate.” (Taylor)

Developing positive relationships with those who can “vouch for you”

“I put myself in the community. I put myself right in the community. I went to church. I teach Sunday school. I’m on the board of directors at RiseUp now. I’m on the breast feeding network committee. You know, like, I made sure that everybody in the community when they see me they know me and they can, and anybody has any questions about me they can say “Oh I know her from church”, or “I know her from RiseUp” or I know her from um the, you know, whatever. So I, I put myself in the community in a positive light.” (Taylor)

Taking CPS “to task” : Self-advocacy

“[W]hat I'd tell another mother that's just going through this now about the system is that you've gotta fight for everything you do. That's what she's gotta do. She's gotta stay on them because they won't go outta their way to help her. They won't call her back…If I had to do it all over again I'd give them two days to return my calls instead of two weeks before I went over their head.” (Catherine)

Working the system

“I had my grounds covered because if they thought they were gonna take this child from me I would sign all rights over to my sister Stephanie, that was the youngest, that had a good paying job, that they couldn’t say nothing. Because I know you can.” (Joni)

Withholding information

“Watch what you say.” (Taylor)

“Don’t open your mouth. Don’t say nothing to them, absolutely nothing.” (Joni)

Hiding prohibited relationships

“[M]y doctor just said, ‘Joni, write the father down unknown’ and that’s what I did and so that’s what I did for this child too. All my three kids are by the same father, but I couldn’t say that cause I was gonna lose them all.” (Joni)

“[W]hen he, [Rob] comes to my house and he stays there he does not go outside the trailer. Nobody sees him in or out of my trailer except for what friend I do have that knows that he’s there. Everything’s locked up. Windows are all closed.” (Joni)

Maintaining contact with children

“I knew every place my child was at. They might of never knew, but I did. I knew exactly where he was at. I even used to park down just to see if I could see him coming out.” (Joni)

Maintaining hope for an eventual reunion

“I was very suicidal, but then I put myself first and said, ‘Well, you know, my kids are gonna come find me some day and if I’m not here, you know, I robbed them of every bit of their life.’ So, but I miss them a lot. I talk about them a lot. I used to go up to social services all the time and say ‘Look you guys are the ones that see my kids and you tell me how they’re doing. Right? You could at least do that for me.” (Joni)

Long-term consequences

Lingering fear of recurrence of CPS involvement

“Hailey’s almost five months and I’m scared half to death that any day they could come in... I hear things at night time and I swear to God, you could almost bet my life on it, that there’s Children’s Aid workers out walking around my trailer, and it wouldn’t surprise me.” (Joni)

“Made to become a liar”: Life under surveillance

“[Y]ou have to always lie because you’re always scared something’s gonna happen and your kids are gonna get taken away from you. So [CPS involvement] it just, it just makes you, it turns you into a sinner as soon as you walk through those doors and that’s what I hate about it” (Taylor)

“I really want to be forth straight and I really want to go in there and say ‘This is Rob’s child.’ I wanna live a life with Rob and be able to walk around. Same with him with his kid...Cuz it’s not fair...It almost makes you think you’re gonna have to move...somewhere else to be able to live a life, a normal life, that you should be able to [live] with your kid.” (Joni)

Refusal of services

“Children’s Aid wanted me to be in this program with these people for two years. Why? They want me in this program, this health nurse to come out for two years to see what they could get on me and that’s exactly what it is.” (Joni)

Lingering isolation

“I understand the whole concept of confidentiality. I understand…I don't want the whole world to know that my son was molested by a thirteen year old. And, you know what? I don't want to ruin her life if she's getting the help that she needs and she's gotta grow up in this community too. But there's gotta be some way you can find out in this area so that you can, you know, talk to other people that have been through it and I think family services should have that option.” (Catherine)

Concerns remain: Abusive relationships

“If I would have downgraded Rob and said he was a piece of shit like they wanted to, but I told them that Rob was a good guy. Him and I had different problems, but he would never ever do nothing to his son. He loved his son and they didn’t like that. They didn’t like that at all. Cause my sister did that with Rob’s brother and she downgraded him and they loved her. They loved her.” (Joni)

Future Directions

Demonstrating empathy

“[F]irst of all workers who have their own kids and not workers who don’t have kids because they don’t know. They would not understand in a million years. You could have as many degrees and names behind your name, you know, but you just don’t know what that feels like. So, like, empathy, you know? Like empathy training” (Taylor)

Returned phone calls

“To this day he never called me back. You know what I mean? To this day he never returned that call that [his supervisor] promised me that he would because I was no longer his problem. And I don't know of anybody who could listen to somebody break their heart on an answering machine and not out of, you know, out of any kind of, I don't care if it's your job or not, call back and say sorry.” (Catherine)

Follow-up support

“What do budget cuts and everything have to do with simple compassion? And a ‘How are you?’, and a follow-up phone call?” (Catherine)

Detailed explanation of the stages of CPS involvement

“Shouldn't [my worker] call to say “Okay this is what's been done. I've sent your file to Inverton. You're no longer my case. Your new worker's name is blah, blah, blah. He'll be contacting you within the next 24 hours…and in the meantime if Evan mentions what happened, write it down.”

…I mean even if they had mailed me something, you know, with a list of the do's and the don'ts. You know, “when dealing with sexual abuse in a child the child may exhibit these signs.”

…Like, they don't tell you anything… and we had nobody to say “Is this normal? Like is, is this okay?”

(Catherine)

Liaison for parents

“[A]lot of people down around here can't read either. So they need to be, they need to have a liaison…You go through that door, anybody's qualified down there to open up their mouth and say this is what's gonna happen over the next little while. Expect a phone call in like two, three days or somethin'. You know, just some sort of a liaison.” (Steve)

Recognition and response to the continuity of family and relationships

“But you know what? [Joni and Rob are] together six years later. So who’s, so who’s the joke on. It wasn’t a fly by night relationship. These two people are two people who love each other and stick together and that should be at the top of the list when they go to look at this.”

Recognition and response to the interconnections and community

“Nothing has been said in regards to what is being done with Breanna. I know what’s being done with Breanna but I know because I know her mother. It’s not from them. He’s never called to say that he’s even interviewed her. He’s never called. He’s never told me, excuse my language, shit about anything. Everything I know I found out on my own.” (Catherine)

“[T]o be raped by the [system], that's what it felt like. I felt violated. I felt ignored. I felt used, like they just wanted the gory details and then, then that's all I was good for, you know, the transportation to get my kid. I felt like I wasn't there to protect him against them…He was violated by her and then we got violated by them.” (Catherine)

“They’re supposed to be there to help”