motivating unmotivated teens - project patch · 2018. 10. 7. · “motivating your intelligent but...
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Motivating Unmotivated Teens
Refresh • Chicago • October 5
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If you could?
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START BY KNOWING THEIR GOAL
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Is the future bright or scary?
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WHAT’S THE BIG PICTUREQUESTION 1
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QUESTION 1 - WHAT’S THE BIG PICTURE
MAJOR BLOCKS?
▸ Ability
▸ Physical issues
▸ Mental/Emotional
▸ Relationships
▸ Personal Safety
▸ Addictions
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WHAT’S WORKING?QUESTION 2
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0 5 1 0 1 5 2 0 2 5 3 0 3 5
SCORE
Search for positive outliers
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QUESTION 2 - WHAT’S WORKING?
POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY
▸ Why did they succeed that time?
▸ Focus on what is working to create action and momentum.
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WHO ARE YOU DEALING WITH?
FoolishWise
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TEACHABLE MOMENTS
ConsequencesAffirmation
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AFFIRMATIONS
• Goal: Encourage repeating behaviors
• Use descriptive phrases rather than “empty” phrases like “good job”.
• Focus on process versus the end product
• Say what you saw• Talk less, ask more• External to Internal• Avoid labels.
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WHAT DO THEY LACK?QUESTION 3
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OUR PROBLEM➤ Our kids don’t think there is a
problem.
➤ They lack emotional trigger that initiates change
➤ They may lack abilities to make the change
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BJ Fogg - Stanford Persuasive Tech Lab
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QUESTION 5 - WHO IS IN CHARGE?
DON’T MOTIVATE LONG TERM
▸ Threats
▸ Lectures
▸ Inspirational speeches
▸ Punishment
▸ Rewards
▸ Comparisons
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IS THERE A GAP?QUESTION 4
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“MOTIVATING YOUR INTELLIGENT BUT UNMOTIVATED TEENAGER” BY DENNIS BUMGARNER
QUESTIONS FOR EXPLORATION
▸ Is there anything about your current performance in school that concerns you?
▸ What makes you think you might need to change?
▸ How has your current academic situation caused you problems?
▸ If you were to decide not to change things regarding school, what would happen?
▸ What would, for you, be the upside of doing better?
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CONT. QUESTIONS FOR EXPLORATION
▸ If you decide to change, what makes you think you could?
▸ What does it take in the way of education to be an _______?
▸ Do you have a plan to improve performance?
▸ Are you currently using your plan or are you waiting to put it into place?
“MOTIVATING YOUR INTELLIGENT BUT UNMOTIVATED TEENAGER” BY DENNIS BUMGARNER
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CONT. QUESTIONS FOR EXPLORATION
▸ How will you know when the time is right to work your plan?
▸ Is there a time when it would be too late?
▸ Is there a time when you might have to decide to change your goal? What would tell you that?
▸ Do you feel you are on track toward your goal?
“MOTIVATING YOUR INTELLIGENT BUT UNMOTIVATED TEENAGER” BY DENNIS BUMGARNER
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Rules Values
Buffer Rules
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EXECUTIVE FUNCTION
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Don’t Only Focus on Behavior
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Power of Lists
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Chore/Flow Charts
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Don’t go too far into the future
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Enforce Good Self-Care
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2-3 Goals at a Time
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Stay Connected
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Guarded and Task Oriented
Open and People Oriented
Indi
rect
and
Slo
wer
Pac
edD
irect and Faster Paced
Natural Strengths - structured, accurate, systematic
Motivation - Work
Challenge - Perfectionism
Natural Strengths - decisive action, goal-oriented
Motivation - Power
Challenge - Hard Headed
Natural Strengths - easy-going, patient, good listener
Motivation - Relationships
Challenge - Overthinking
Natural Strengths - fun-loving and optimistic
Motivation - Fun
Challenge - Optimism
Adapted from”LeadingFrom Your Strengths Profile – Ministry Insights.” Ministry Insights.Web 23 Dec.2014
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BeforeWorstCase“Tomorrow”Temptation:ProcrastinateVaccine:Start
MiddleThiswillneverwork“Uncertainty”ItissuchalongwayTemptation:QuitVaccine:Move
EndDoubtItisn’t“perfect”Temptation:NeverCelebrateVaccine:Reviewgoals,turnin,Celebrate
OVERCOMING RESISTANCE
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NEXT STEP
▸ Email Follow-up
▸ RefreshChi to 44222
▸ Sign-up sheet
▸ www.projectpatch.org/RefreshChi
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