moving forward: managing your mouth

managing your mouth

Ephesians 4:29-30

Part 8 of the

MOVING FORWARD

series

Presented on June 19, 2016

at Calvary Bible Church East

in Kalamazoo, Michigan

by

BRYAN CRADDOCK

Calvary Bible Church East

5495 East Main St

Kalamazoo, MI 49048

CalvaryEast.com

Copyright 2016 by Bryan Craddock

Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are from the

ESV Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version),

copyright 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good

News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

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INTRODUCTION: WASHED CLEAN?

Parenting isnt easy. In desperate moments, even

the most mild-mannered parents resort to certain

threats passed down from generation to generation.

When kids are arguing in the back seat on a road trip,

they threaten to stop the car, turn around, and go

home, cancelling vacation. When a child picks up some

bad words, they threaten to wash their mouth out with

soap. One time my mom even followed through on that

one with my little brother. It was a pathetic scene as the

suds bubbled from his lips, but it didnt work.

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It would be convenient if something as simple as a

little soap would do the job, but controlling our speech

is a lifelong battle. James 3:7-8 says,

For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile

and sea creature, can be tamed and has been

tamed by mankind, but no human being can

tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of

deadly poison.

Time and again we find ourselves wishing we could

take back our words. We say things that damage our

own reputation and wound those we love. We

desperately need a way to manage our mouth.

Pauls letter to the Ephesians gives us hope that in

and through Jesus Christ we really can move forward

and leave the speech of the old life behind. By Gods

grace when we trust in Jesus Christ, all of our sins,

including those of our mouth, are forgiven. God gives

us new life and begins to transform us through the

work of His Spirit, but we cannot remain passive. In

order to grow, we must strive to change how we think

and then take steps of obedience. In Ephesians 4:29-

30, Paul gave specific direction regarding our speech.

He said,

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Let no corrupting talk come out of your

mouths, but only such as is good for building

up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace

to those who hear. And do not grieve the

Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed

for the day of redemption.

Pauls words here reveal four choices we must make

in order to manage our mouths. As we examine these

choices in more depth, I encourage you to reflect on

your words. See how you need to change. Believe that

God will help you, and respond in humble obedience to

him.

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AT A GLANCE

Choice 1: Speak Select Words ...................................... 5

Choice 2: Speak Constructive Words........................... 9

Choice 3: Speak Gods Words .................................... 13

Choice 4: Speak Pleasing Words................................ 17

Conclusion .................................................................. 20

Questions for Further Reflection ............................... 21

5

CHOICE 1: SPEAK SELECT WORDS

In a supermarket, most produce appears perfect

without any blemish or mark. Of course, we dont see

all the pieces that have been rejected. Fruit that is

misshapen and diseased doesnt make it to the store

displays. No one would buy it. Stores have to be

selective, and we have to exercise the same kind of care

when it comes to our words. Paul said, let no

corrupting talk come out of your mouths. We must

choose to speak select words.

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What did Paul have in mind? What is corrupting

talk? Jesus used that same term in Luke 6:43. He said,

For no good tree bears bad fruit, nor again does a bad

tree bear good fruit, for each tree is known by its own

fruit. The word bad here is the same word that was

translated corrupting in Ephesians 4:29. Jesus used it

to describe diseased fruit that comes from a diseased

tree. He explained the point of this picture in verse 45,

The good person out of the good treasure of

his heart produces good, and the evil person

out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out

of the abundance of the heart his mouth

speaks.

So just like Paul, Jesus had speech in mind. He spoke

of bad trees and their fruit to show that evil words are

evidence of an evil heart.

What did Jesus have in mind when he spoke of

having an evil heart? He gave some examples in Mark

7:21-22. He said,

For from within, out of the heart of man,

come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft,

murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness,

deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride,

foolishness.

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Our hearts are infected with all of these sinful thoughts

and desires, and they come bubbling out in our words.

So corrupting talk is not just the words that get bleeped

out. All of our cultures profanity and curse words flow

from those desires, but corrupting talk also includes

any statement that gives voice to those thoughts and

desires. Whenever we express any lustful, covetous, or

hateful thoughts we are revealing the deep sickness of

our hearts. Whats worse is that those sick words then

stir up the sickness in the hearts of those who hear us.

So what can we do about it? How do we keep from

saying corrupting words? Real change begins with the

heart, but as we have seen, our hearts are sick. We need

new ones. In Ezekiel 36:26-27 God said,

And I will give you a new heart, and a new

spirit I will put within you. And I will remove

the heart of stone from your flesh and give

you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit

within you, and cause you to walk in my

statutes and be careful to obey my rules.

The ultimate fulfillment of that promise is still to come,

but we can experience much of that transforming

power through the work of the Holy Spirit today. Are

you willing to pray the prayer that David prayed in

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Psalm 51:10? He said, Create in me a clean heart, O

God, and renew a right spirit within me.

Even when we receive new life, however, the old

ways of thinking and speaking are still ingrained in us.

Thats why Paul made this point in Ephesians 4:29. We

must resolve to change the way that we speak. We have

to recognize that the words that naturally come to mind

in a situation, are probably still corrupting words. We

cannot just vent whatever comes to mind. We have to

cut off corrupting talk before it reaches our lips. In fact,

Proverbs 10:19 tells us, When words are many,

transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his

lips is prudent. Are you guarding your lips? Speak

select words.

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CHOICE 2: SPEAK CONSTRUCTIVE WORDS

The same tools you use to build a house can be used

to tear it down. Building requires thought and

planning, skill and focus. Building can be a slow

process, but demolition happens quickly. You dont

need finesse or an elaborate plan to tear something

down. You just start breaking things. In fact, even when

you set out to build, using tools carelessly can do great

damage. Words are tools. Its not enough to just think

about what words we say, we also have to think about

how and when we say them. In Ephesians 4:29, Paul

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said, Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths,

but only such as is good for building up, as fits the

occasion.

Paul has already mentioned this idea of building up

one another twice in Ephesians 4. In verse 12 he spoke

of how church leaders are to equip the saints for the

work of ministry so that the body of Christ will be built

up. Then in verse 16 he spoke of each part in the body

working to build up the body in love. So Paul was not

calling for us to be uplifting in some generic sense. He

wasnt calling us to be cheerleaders. We must each

speak in a way that builds the church. We must

encourage one another to grow in our love for God and

our love for people.

What is it that makes words constructive? The Old

Testament book of Proverbs gives us guidance about

how to speak. Proverbs 12:18 says, There is one whose

rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the

wise brings healing. Have you ever been on the

receiving end of those verbal sword thrusts? Even

when the words spoken are true, an overly aggressive

spokesman undermines their effectiveness. His or her

sword thrusts can put the other person on the

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defensive, and that hinders them from hearing the

message. Proverbs 15:2 says, The tongue of the wise

commends knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour

out folly. In other words, the wise person doesnt just

speak knowledge. He or she presents that knowledge