7/29/2019 Mr Cameron, political parables and brainwashing blind eight year olds.

http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/mr-cameron-political-parables-and-brainwashing-blind-eight-year-olds 1/3

16/02/2013 23:13Mr Cameron, political parables and brainwashing blind eight year olds. « dampcardigan

Page 1 of 3http://dampcardigan.wordpress.com/2011/12/08/46/

dampcardigan

Mr Cameron, political parables and brainwashing blind eight

year olds.

Posted by Damp Cardigan on December 8, 2011 · Leave a Comment

I stumbled across this story this morning. It appears that David Cameron, our Galactic Emperor,has been given the opportunity by some twisted individual to record a reading of Hamish GoesSwimming , a children’s story for eight year olds, by Humphrey Carpenter. This exercise instupidity was provided by a company that manufactures free audio books for the visuallyimpaired. On paper it sounds like a harmless public relations exercise designed to make us“relate” to our commander in chief and I’m sure the people behind it have the best intentions.However, it should be said now, and later passed through every generation like a disgusting but vital heirloom, that you should never underestimate the depravity of a Tory.

Until this morning I was unfamiliar with the story in question. I immediately wondered whythat story in particular was either chosen for or by Mr Cameron. After a little bit of onlinesearching all I could find of the story was a sound-bite on the BBC news website. So, let’s tryand figure out exactly what kind of message our Prime Minister would like to send to thechildren of his country and penetrate the meaning of this propaganda tool.

From this excerpt it’s hard to tell what the full story will transpire to be and maybe one of youlearned people could educate me. At the start of the reading class three at a primary school areall incredibly excited at the arrival of their new teacher Mr Majeka. He flew through the window ona magic carpet and even turned a ruler into a snake and produced chips for everyone. It goes on; school

could never be boring with Mr Majeka in charge. This does sound like the promises of a politicianand maybe David is deluded enough to think that he did burst through the window of number

7/29/2019 Mr Cameron, political parables and brainwashing blind eight year olds.

http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/mr-cameron-political-parables-and-brainwashing-blind-eight-year-olds 2/3

16/02/2013 23:13Mr Cameron, political parables and brainwashing blind eight year olds. « dampcardigan

Page 2 of 3http://dampcardigan.wordpress.com/2011/12/08/46/

ten on a magic Persian carpet and make the country less boring. Saying that, he did magicallyturn the leader of the Liberal Democrats into a snivelling suck-up and produce cuts foreveryone. Maybe he is a wizard.

I think it’s fairly easy to see the immediate comparisons between this new teacher and MrCameron and you could accuse me of looking a bit too hard for it but the next part of this tale

does allude to the more sinister side of this choice of story.

There are pointers towards the truth here. Mr Magic (as all the kids are now strangely callinghim) didn’t forget that he’s supposed to be a teacher and not a wizard. This seems like a strange wayof telling children that it’s definitely ok to break your promises and not live up to expectations.

Nothing peculiar happened for weeks and weeks and the lessons went on just as they would have with anyother teacher. What are we learning here? Of course they went on as if it was any old teacher.Children like things that are shiny and apparently we, as a nation, like our leaders with bigshiny faces painted with shit-eating grins. It’s like getting the worst kind of fascist, power

hungry substitute teacher with an inferiority complex who never actually leaves

The magic carpet, chips and the snake seemed like a dream – The cap on student fees, pensions and bankers salaries seemed like a dream. That is all.

Then, Hamish Bigmore came to stay at Thomas and Pete’s house. Who the hell is Hamish Bigmoreand where does he fit into your pointless metaphor I hear you ask ? This wasn’t at all a good thing,at least not for Thomas and Pete, but they had no choice. Let’s cast our minds back. Mr Clegg wantsto stay at Mr Cameron’s house. This isn’t necessarily a good thing for Mr Cameron, but he hasno choice.

Thomas and Pete’s Mum never asked them what they thought about Hamish staying until it wastoo late. We’re referencing the Tory backbencher’s disgust at a coalition with the LiberalDemocrats here and teaching children that a well-placed lie can get you anywhere yourambition wants.

I realise that this is getting tedious now. The excerpt from this story ends with Hamish causingall sorts of trouble and generally being a twat, giving way to the most sinister part of this.Thomas and Pete become so incensed with this behaviour that they wish something terrible will

happen to him. Then our Prime Minister, in all his deplorable glory, utters these immortal lastwords – it does. And that’s where it ends! Let’s not forget that this is the portion of the story thatMr Cameron has approved to go out on mass media websites. Imagine the kind of balls thatman must have. He’s teaching children, and us, that if you wish something terrible on someonethen it will probably happen and that’s ok cause it’s part of a political parable I brainwashedkids with once.

Maybe I’m reading into it too much. Maybe it’s a completely innocent act and I’m needlesslyfinding meaning where there is none. Maybe I’m giving him too much credit. All I know is if thePrime Minister had done the same thing when I was in school then I would’ve been listening to

Margaret Thatcher telling me a parable about how sometimes when something isn’t reallyyours, but you want it for purely egotistical reasons, it’s ok to take it even if that means going to

7/29/2019 Mr Cameron, political parables and brainwashing blind eight year olds.

http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/mr-cameron-political-parables-and-brainwashing-blind-eight-year-olds 3/3

16/02/2013 23:13Mr Cameron, political parables and brainwashing blind eight year olds. « dampcardigan

Page 3 of 3http://dampcardigan.wordpress.com/2011/12/08/46/

war. I’m sure when Mr Cameron finds his Falkland Islands we can expect a Waterstones box-setof bullshit excuses.

Phil Watson

Filed under News, Politics · Tagged with BBC, Childrens Books, David Cameron, Idiots,Margaret Thatcher , Nick Clegg

dampcardigan · These, are the facts.

Blog at WordPress.com. Theme: Structure by Organic Themes.