mrinalini sarabhai - the voice of heart

8/9/2019 Mrinalini Sarabhai - The voice of heart

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Father

M Y FATHER SUBBARAMASWAMINADHA WAS THE PIVOT OF MY EXISTENCEand I, bein the !"#ne$t "% %"#r &hi'dren, a'(a!$ %e't dee)'! '"*ed and&heri$hed b! hi+ There (a$ -"*ind, .a/$h+i, S#bra+ and +!$e'% 0 t("

b"!$ and t(" ir'$ E*er! e*enin, (hen +! %ather ret#rned h"+e, he

$at "n the *eranda in an ea$! &hair, (hi'e )e")'e "% a'' (a'/$ "% 'i%e &a+e

t" *i$it 0 'a(!er$, d"&t"r$, e*en ban/er$ 0 a'' $ee/in ad*i&e At %i*e !ear$

"'d, I &'ear'! re+e+ber $ittin #na$ha+ed'! "n hi$ 'a),in the 'ate e*enin$,

a$ he $at "#t in the arden, readin hi$ 'ea' 1brie%$2 (ith hi+ and ,

en3"!in the "r! ta'e$ "% +#rder and re*ene In$e&t$ b#44ed a'' "*er

hi$ (hite /hadi5&'ad %"r+ and I tea$ed hi+ &a''in hi+ +! 1)#&hi 6in$e&t7

$hi"n2 He i$ a$ rea' t" +e t"da! a$ then, hi$ $+i'e, hi$ /ind t(in/'in

e!e$, and the )r"#d (a! he $tead%a$t'! &'ai+ed 0 1thi$ &hi'd (i'' be

$"+eb"d! (hen $he r"($ #)2

1Dadd!2, a$ I %"nd'! &a''ed hi+, (a$ %r"+ a $+a'' *i''ae in Se/hari)#ra+

in the Pa'hat Di$tri&t "% 8era'a, %a+"#$ %"r it$ San$/rit and Vedi&

$&h"'ar$ "% Brah+in de$&ent

Hi$ %ather, S#bbara+a Pattar, (a$ an e9&e''ent $&h"'ar and, (hen he

(a$ %i%teen, (a$ ta/en b! hi$ #n&'e, (h" 'i*ed in N"rth 8era'a, t" 'i*e

(ith hi+, (here he ta#ht hi+ a&&"#ntan&! and 'ea' +atter$ S""n he

ret#rned t" hi$ *i''ae and "t +arried and it (a$ here that !"#n

S(a+inadhan (a$ b"rn in De&e+ber :;


8/294

THE VOICE OF THE H EART

:>

"% a (ea'th! Na+b""diri %a+i'! and e$tab'i$hed hi+$e'% a$ an ad*i$"r t"

+an! "% the )e")'e ar"#nd, a+"n$t (h"+ (a$ P -"*inda Men"n, (h"(a$ a'$" a 'and"(ner The! (ere a'' %"nd "% +! %ather and br"#ht hi+

i%t$ "% b""/$ (hi&h enab'ed hi+ t" be )r"%i&ient in San$/rit, Ma'a!a'a+

and En'i$h

The $&h""' in Ve''ina!hi de)ended "n "*ern+ent rant$ and had

t" )r"*e it$ tea&hin e%%i&ien&! S(a+inadhan, a$ the )ri4ed $t#dent, (a$

$ent t" re)re$ent the $&h""' The in$)e&t"r, i+)re$$ed b! the &hi'd,

e$)e&ia''! (ith hi$ /n"('ede "% En'i$h, n"t "n'! a*e hi+ a hand$"+e

)ri4e b#t in&rea$ed the $&h""'2$ rant

E*er!"ne (a$ de'ihted (ith S(a+inadhan2$ $#&&e$$ and there (a$

+#&h intere$t in hi$ %#t#re -"*inda Men"n, (h" (a$ the di$tri&t +#n$i%% "% Man3eri at the ti+e, $#e$ted S#bbara+a Pattar +"*e the %a+i'! t"

Man3eri, (here there (a$ a better $&h""' Here bean a 'i%e'"n %riend$hi)

(ith the -"*inda Men"n$

M! %ather $""n $h"(ed hi$ bri''ian&e The ann#a' e9a+inati"n$ "% the

$&h""' (ere he'd at 8"4hi/"de 6ear'ier Ca'it7at the end "% the !ear

That !ear, at the e9a+inati"n$, the $#)erintendent n"ti&ed a $'i+ !"#n

b"!, $ittin ?#iet'!, n"t (ritin hi$ )a)er$ 1Are !"# i''@2 he a$/ed 1D"

!"# need an!thin@2

1N", $ir,2 &a+e the re)'! 1I ha*e %ini$hed the )a)er and a+ (aitin%"r the be'' t" rin2

The $#)erintendent '""/ed ar"#nd at the "ther $t#dent$ (h" (ere

$ti'' %e*eri$h'! tr!in t" %ini$h their )a)er$ 1What $&h""' d" !"# &"+e

%r"+@2 he a$/ed, $#r)ri$ed at the &"n%iden&e "% the !"#n$ter

1Man3eri, $ir2

1We'', I h")e !"# )a$$ (ith &redit$ I% !"# d" (e'', &"+e and $ee

+e and I (i'' tr! and et !"# a $&h"'ar$hi)2

And $" it ha))ened The !"#n S(a+inadhan &a+e %ir$t in the (h"'e"% 8era'a and (ent t" 3"in the $&h""' (hi&h (a$ atta&hed t" the Pr"*in&ia'

voices of the heart.pmd 3/23/04, 10:50 AM16


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C"''ee "% 8"4hi/"de, (here he +et a tr#'! reat tea&her, Pad+anabha

Ai!ar, (h", a)art %r"+ hi$ $"'i&it#de %"r a'' the $t#dent$, $et a$ide "ne$i9th "% hi$ $a'ar! e*er! +"nth t" b#! b""/$ %"r hi$ )""r and de$er*in

)#)i'$ S(a+inadhan $""n )a$$ed the +atri'ati"n e9a+inati"n, "n&e

aain 1%ir$t2 in 8era'a A'' $ee+ed (e'', b#t then traed! $tr#&/ Hi$ %ather

died $#dden'! Be&a#$e "% hi$ ener"#$ nat#re he had $)ent %ar +"re than

hi$ in&"+e "n h"$)ita'it! t" hi$ %riend$ and in he')in hi$ re'ati"n$ (ith

the (eddin$ "% their &hi'dren, 'ea*in n"thin b#t 'iabi'itie$ and debt

t" hi$ %a+i'!

A$ the e'de$t $"n, S(a+inadhan $#dden'! %"#nd hi+$e'% a'"ne in a

&r#e' ("r'd, (here +"$t "% hi$ %ather2$ ri&h %riend$ de$erted hi+

I &an "n'! i+aine +! %ather, a !"#n b"!, )erha)$ $tandin "n the

ban/$ "% the ri*er, a4in at the reen %ie'd$ "% )add!, the &"&"n#t )a'+$

F ATHER



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ri&h (ith %r#it, the $'i+ ra&e%#' are&a tree$ $(a!in in the +"rnin

bree4e and ("nderin (hat t" d"There (a$ n" "ne t" he') hi+ +a/e hi$ de&i$i"n I d" n"t /n"(

(hether he &"n$#'ted -"*inda Men"n "r the tea&her Pad+anabha, b#t

he $"'d the h"#$e and b"#ht a $+a''er "ne %"r hi$ rand+"ther,

+"ther and the "ther re'ati*e$ de)endent "n hi$ %ather Then he (ent

ba&/ t" 8"4hi/"de t" &"ntin#e hi$ ed#&ati"n, $#))"rtin hi+$e'% b!

t#t"rin &hi'dren %r"+ ri&h %a+i'ie$, "%ten "in h#nr! hi+$e'%, ("r/in

da! and niht t" a r#e''in $&hed#'e He (a$ "n'! eihteen .i*in

in a $+a'' r""+, he br"#ht hi$ eiht5!ear5"'d br"ther, Rananadhan,

t" $ta! and $t#d! (ith hi+ F"r t(" !ear$, the! 'i*ed in )ite"#$

&"nditi"n$, &""/in their %""d in the +"rnin and eatin dinner "n'!(hen the! (ere 'e%t"*er$ S" thin did he be&"+e that he (a$ ni&/na+ed

1$/e'et"n2 at $&h""'



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M! %ather had a )h"t"ra)hi& +e+"r! (hi&h $t""d hi+ in ""d

$tead He')in hi$ %e''"( $t#dent$ (ith hi$ /n"('ede, he +ade %riend$(ith +an! "% the+, "ne "% (h"+, Se$h# Ai!ar, (a$ t" retain a dee) '"*e

%"r hi+ a'' hi$ 'i%e

M"$t "% hi$ &'a$$+ate$ 'e%t %"r Chennai a%ter the %ina' e9a+inati"n,

%"r the be$t &"''ee$ (ere $it#ated there B#t he had n" +"ne! and had

a %a+i'! t" $#))"rt He be&a+e a &'er/ "n a $a'ar! "% t(ent!5%i*e r#)ee$

a +"nth 0 a 3"b that (a$ a$ tedi"#$ a$ it (a$ ta9in One da!, in

de$)erati"n, he t""/ three (ee/$2 )a!, $"'d a (at&h, a )re$ent, %"r the

)itiab'e $#+ "% ten r#)ee$, and (ent t" Chennai t" tr! hi$ '#&/

It (a$ "n a dar/, +""n'e$$ niht that the !"#n +an (a'/ed thr"#h

the $treet$ "% Chennai, t" the h"+e "% hi$ %riend, Se$h# Ai!ar F"rt#nate'!,he (a$ (ar+'! re&ei*ed and b"th "% the+ $at #) thr"#h the niht

)'annin their %#t#re

The ne9t +"rnin, S(a+inadhan (ent t" the %a+"#$ Madra$ Chri$tian

C"''ee t" +eet the Prin&i)a', Dr Mi''er, /n"(n t" be a ""d and /ind5

hearted +an

1Ye$, !"# &an $it %"r the &"+)etiti*e e9a+inati"n t" be he'd t"+"rr"(,2

he $aid, addin, 1Thi$ i$ a $)e&ia' &a$e2 Deter+ined t" $#&&eed,

S(a+inadhan2$ ne9t *i$it (a$ t" Pa&hia))a C"''ee (h"$e )rin&i)a' (a$

Mr "hn Ada+$, (here a $i+i'ar re?#e$t (a$ +ade and ranted Sittin%"r t(" e9a+inati"n$ he $t""d %ir$t in b"th N"( Dr Mi''er and Mr

Ada+$ b"th (anted hi+ in their &"''ee$, %"r the! rea'i4ed he (a$

bri''iant and %ear'e$$

1What $ha'' I d"@2 he a$/ed Se$h#

1T"$$ a &"in,2 Se$h# 'a#hed

A &"in (a$ %'#n int" the air and Dr Mi''er ("n E*en $", S(a+inadhan

/e)t #) a &"rdia' re'ati"n$hi) (ith Mr Ada+$ thr"#h "#t hi$ 'i%e

N"( bean the terrib'e rind The $&h"'ar$hi) hard'! $#%%i&ed and

S(a+inadhan 'i*ed in #tter )"*ert! eatin "n'! "ne +ea' a da!, (a'/in

+i'e$ t" t#t"r $t#dent$, b"rr"(in b""/$ %r"+ the 'ibrar! %"r $t#d! a$there (a$ n" +"ne! t" )a! %"r hi$ "(n E*er! $&ra) he earned (ent

F ATHER



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t" hi$ %a+i'! and t" hi$ !"#n br"ther $ti'' $t#d!in in 8"4hi/"de

B#t at 'a$t the tide t#rned, and a$ he $aid hi+$e'%, +an! !ear$ 'ater,it (a$ the %ir$t ra! "% $#n$hine in a dar/ drear! niht "% $"rr"( and

de$)erati"n

Rana Redd!, the $"n "% a ri&h 'and'"rd "% Ananta)#r Di$tri&t in Andhra,

(a$ dee)'! i+)re$$ed b! hi$ bri''iant &"5$t#dent S""n, %r"+ bein 3#$t

a&?#aintan&e$, the! be&a+e %riend$ and Rana Redd! in$i$ted that he

&"+e t" 'i*e (ith hi$ %a+i'!

A%ter !ear$ "% ab$"'#te )en#r! S(a+inadhan 'i*ed &"+%"rtab'! and

)erha)$ had en"#h t" eat He re)aid the /indne$$ (ith hi$ /n"('edeand )ra&ti&a'it!, e*en 'earnin Te'## in "rder t" &"++#ni&ate (ith the

*i''aer$ and he')in Rana Redd!2$ %ather "n hi$ "%%i&ia' t"#r$ "% the

di$tri&t The !ear$ )a$$ed Hi$ 'i%e (a$ "ne "% &"n$tant $t#d!in

S(a+inadhan had t" /ee) earnin +"ne! %"r hi$ re'ati*e$, a'(a!$ $ettin

a$ide hi$ "(n a+biti"n$ %"r th"$e (h" needed hi+ An9i"#$ t" 'earn

+"re he a))'ied %"r the 1-i'&hri$t2 $&h"'ar$hi) that (a$ a(arded %"r

$t#die$ abr"ad E*en (hen he $ered it, there (a$ "))"$iti"n

The Brah+in$, +an! "% the+ the re'ati"n$ he had $#))"rted %"r $"

'"n, "b3e&ted t" the 3"#rne! a$, t" &r"$$ the 1b'a&/ (ater$2 6the "&ean7

("#'d +a/e hi+ a $"&ia' "#t&a$t

S(a+inadhan $+i'ed b#t did n"t b#de an in&h 1I% I had ta$ted "ne+"r$e' "% their %""d, I ("#'d ha*e been #nder "b'iati"n t" the+,

)erha)$ ("#'d ha*e +arried "ne "% their da#hter$ and $ett'ed d"(n in

'i%e Their %ai'#re t" a$$i$t +e &"ntrib#ted t" +! $#&&e$$ in 'i%e,2 he

'a#hed 'ater

In ."nd"n he bean t" ("r/, 3"inin ."nd"n Uni*er$it! and -ra!$ Inn

in )re)arati"n %"r bein &a''ed t" the Bar N"t $ati$%ied (ith that, he a'$"

entered the BS& &"#r$e in Edinb#rh, &"++#tin re#'ar'! bet(een the

t(" &itie$ 0 n" ea$! %eat in :;> In :;; he t""/ hi$ BS& deree and(a$ &a''ed t" the Bar



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Ha*in &"n?#ered ."nd"n and Edinb#rh, he n"( $et hi$ *i$i"n "n

the Har*ard .a( S&h""' The "'d di%%i't! "% ha*in n" +"ne! &r"))ed#) aain B#t hi$ )r"%e$$"r$ %"#nd hi+ a $+a'' tra*e''in a''"(an&e With

h")e in hi$ heart and a dee) %aith in -"d, he $ai'ed t" the United State$

"% A+eri&a

.andin in B"$t"n he enr"''ed at the Har*ard .a( S&h""', ("r/in

da! and niht t" e/e "#t a %r#a' e9i$ten&e Hi$ ind"+itab'e (i'' /e)t

hi+ "in T(" e+inent 3#ri$t$, Dr Bea'e and Pr"%e$$"r Tha!er, t""/ a

%ather'! intere$t in the hih'! inte''ient and $t#di"#$ Indian, the %ir$t

"% hi$ ra&e the! had +et

M! %ather (r"te hi$ the$i$ "n 1The .a( "% Nat#re and "% Nati"n2 and

in three +"nth$ he had &"+)'eted hi$ ("r/ W"#'d it be )"$$ib'e, he("ndered, %"r the Har*ard Uni*er$it! t" (ai*e it$ r#'e$ "% three !ear$2

$t#d! and &"n%er a d"&t"rate in three +"nth$@ It (a$ an #n)re&edented

re?#e$t Hi$ %inan&ia' )"$iti"n (a$ )re&ari"#$ On'! a +ira&'e &"#'d $a*e

hi+ B#t he (a$ #$ed t" %a&in the i+)"$$ib'e and $" he (ent t" hi$ t("

(e''5(i$her$ at Har*ard and $)"/e t" the+ "% hi$ ("r/ in En'and and

"% hi$ )r"b'e+$

1I a+ %#''! )re)ared t" $tand a %#'' Vi*a V"&e e9a+inati"n in a'' the

$#b3e&t$ &"*ered b! the &"#r$e "% $t#d! in Har*ard,2 he $aid (ith ?#iet

&"n%iden&e

The a#th"ritie$ (ere )erha)$ rather a$t"#nded at thi$ re?#e$t "% a

$t#dent %r"+ India and )r"bab'! the n"*e't! "% the b"'d $#e$ti"n ("ntheir ad+irati"n

A r"#nd tab'e Vi*a V"&e (a$ he'd, and %"r +an! da!$ )r"%e$$"r$ "%

a'' the $#b3e&t$ b"+barded the !"#n a$)irant (ith ?#e$ti"n$ E*er!"ne

(a$ $tr#&/ b! hi$ an$(er$ and e*ent#a''! there (a$ n" d"#bt in their

+ind$ that here (a$ a !"#n +an "% eni#$ The the$i$, (ith it$ *a$t

re$ear&h and $t#d! end"r$ed thi$ *ie( and (a$ &"n$idered b! the 3#de$

a 1rea' &"ntrib#ti"n t" /n"('ede2

T" ha*e re&ei*ed a PhD in $i9 +"nth$ (a$ in it$e'% an #n#$#a' e*ent

and that a Hind# %r"+ India (a$ the re&i)ient +ade head'ine$ Ne($)a)er$

(ere %i''ed (ith '"(in re)"rt$ and Re#ter$ %'a$hed the ne($ a'' "*er the ("r'd

F ATHER



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1Har*ard ha$ $e'd"+ &"n%erred the deree "% PhD #)"n a

&andidate (h" ha$ n"t $)ent t(" t" three !ear$ in the #ni*er$it!B#t (ithin a $h"rt ti+e an e9&e)ti"n (i'' )r"bab'! be +ade in

%a*"#r "% a hih5&a$te Brah+in (h" ha$ been at Har*ard "n'!

a 'itt'e "*er three +"nth$ S#bhara+a S(a+inadhan, (h" &a+e

"riina''! %r"+ India, ha$ 3#$t )a$$ed the "ra' e9a+inati"n i*en

b! a $)e&ia' &"++ittee "% the %a't! and (i'' re&ei*e hi$ PhD

#)"n the a))r"*a' "% hi$ the$i$ (hi&h dea'$ (ith the

Ad+ini$trati"n "% Orienta' .a( b! Briti$h Trib#na'$

S(a+inadhan (a$ $#dden'! %a+"#$ and +e$$ae$ )"#red in %r"+ a'' "*er

the ("r'd ."rd C#r4"n, the Vi&er"! "% India, (h" (a$ in Chennai at

that ti+e, &a+e t" Dr Mi''er2$ &"''ee and a$/ed t" +eet S(a+inadhan2$!"#ner br"ther 1I &"nrat#'ate !"# "n !"#r br"ther2$ bri''iant $#&&e$$,2

the Vi&er"! $aid 1C"n*e! +! (ar+ &"nrat#'ati"n$ t" hi+ (hen !"#

(rite I h")e t" +eet hi+ (hen he ret#rn$2

S(a+inadhan (a$, in the +eanti+e, "n hi$ tri#+)hant 3"#rne! h"+e

B#t $"rr"( d"ed hi+ In a)an he heard the trai& ne($ "% the death

"% hi$ dear %riend Rana Redd!2$ death (a$ a terrib'e b'"( He 'earnt

that Rana had been br#ta''! +#rdered in br"ad da!'iht a$ he (a$

ret#rnin %r"+ &"#rt (here he (a$ a 'eader "% the Bar S(a+inadhan had

'"$t hi$ be$t %riend and bene%a&t"r and &"#'d n"t $hare hi$ a&hie*e+ent$

(ith hi+ It (a$ a $ad and de$"'ate h"+e&"+in

It (a$ "hn Ada+$ (h" %"#nd the "%%i&e %"r +! %ather and n" $""ner

did S(a+inadhan ret#rn, that he $et t" ("r/ Hi$ re)#tati"n re( ra)id'!

and there (a$ n" "ne t" t"#&h hi$ e'"?#en&e and hi$ )r"%i&ien&! in 'a(

Aain there (ere +an! (h" he')ed hi+, a$ he he')ed the+, (ith hi$

detai'ed /n"('ede "% the intri&a&ie$ "% the 3#di&iar! $!$te+

Ead'e! N"rt"n, a (e''5/n"(n &ri+ina' 'a(!er "% India, &"n$#'ted hi+

%re?#ent'! A$ he (a'/ed d"(n the &"rrid"r$ "% the &"#rt$ he "%ten +et

the !"#n 'a(!er and a$/ed, 1What d"e$ the 'earned d"&t"r ha*e t" $a!

t"da!@2



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The Chennai .a( C"''ee re?#e$ted hi+ t" 'e&t#re t" the $t#dent$

and he de&ided "n the drie$t "% $#b3e&t$, R"+an .a(, b#t $""n +adeit a %a$&inatin $t#d! Deter+ined t" brin hi$ "(n e9)erien&e$ at Har*ard

t" Chennai, he ("r/ed tire'e$$'! t" +a/e the !"#n $t#dent$ "% .a( '"*e

their $t#die$, %i''in the 'ibrar! (ith the 'ate$t b""/$ and +a/in the+

a*ai'ab'e t" the )""re$t

Ne*er &"ntent (ith +ere tea&hin, he "%ten *i$ited the 'ibrar! at

niht, &hattin (ith the b"!$ and di$$$in their ("r/ He (a$ $""n

n"+inated Prin&i)a' "% the C"''ee and then there (a$ e*en 'e$$ ti+e

t" $'ee) and eat He "rani4ed 1The M""t C'#b2 (here !"#n, ("#'d5

be 'a(!er$, d"nned "(n$ and ar#ed &a$e$ a$ th"#h in &"#rt

Fate %a*"#red hi+ in hi$ )r"%e$$i"na' e9)erti$e b#t did n"t $)are hi+%inan&ia''! He had, thr"#h the !ear$, $a*ed $"+e +"ne! and de)"$ited

it in the Arb#thn"tt Ban/, (hi&h (a$ &"n$idered "ne "% the %ine$t ban/$

in the &"#ntr! In :=> the ban/ &ra$hed and he (a$ 'e%t )enni'e$$ He

(a$ "n'! thirt!5%i*e !ear$ "'d b#t n"t %"r a +"+ent did he +"an hi$ '"$$

1I a+ 'ad it did n"t ha))en 'ater in 'i%e,2 he t"'d hi$ %riend$ 1I (i'' $i+)'!

("r/ (ith +"re *i"#r n"(2

At ar"#nd thi$ ti+e S(a+inadhan bean t" thin/ ab"#t +arriae Hi$

had been a '"ne'! 'i%e, and n"( he %e't a dee) need %"r %a+i'! Hi$

th"#ht$ (ent ba&/ t" hi$ %riend$ at Man3eri and he de&ided that he

("#'d a$/ %"r the hand "% "ne "% their da#hter$ -"*inda Men"n (a$

dead, b#t hi$ (i%e, A++#a++a, a ("+an "% $tr"n &hara&ter, a tr#e8era'a +atriar&h, 'i*ed in a $+a'' *i''ae &a''ed Ana//ara (here $he had

+"*ed (ith her eiht &hi'dren a%ter her h#$band2$ death Their h"+e

1Vada/ath2 (a$ a Tara*ad "% bea#ti%#' di+en$i"n$ When S(a+inadhan

&a+e in $ear&h "% a bride, $he t"'d hi+ that "% a'' her da#hter$ the "n'!

"ne $ti'' #n+arried (a$ A++#, the !"#ne$t, (h" (a$ $ti'' at $&h""'

In $)ite "% her !"#n ae, S(a+inadhan a$/ed )er+i$$i"n t" +arr!

her A++#a++a, (h" '"*ed thi$ !"#n +an, areed

A++#a++a a'(a!$ $at "n the (""den )adi 6$eat7 ar"#nd the

na''#/atta', the &entra' ")en &"#rt!ard, in the 8era'a h"#$e Her ear'"be$

dan'ed a'+"$t t" her $h"#'der$, e+)t! n"( "% the hea*! "'d earrin$She ("re n" "rna+ent$ e9&e)t %"r a r#dra/$ha ne&/'a&e A +#nd#

F ATHER



16/294


17/294

and +"re in$tr#&ti*e than r"+anti& J#e$ti"n$ (ere a$/ed and $he had

t" re)'! The r#nner (aited t" ta/e her an$(er$ ba&/ t" 8#tti)#ra+ t")"$t the $a+e da!

The "b3e&ti"n$ t" the +arriae (ere $""n "*err#'ed and S(a+inadhan

+arried the %"#rteen5!ear5"'d A++# at Vada/ath h"#$e in :=; in a

$i+)'e 8era'a &ere+"n!

The red bri&/ b#na'"( na+ed 1-i'&hri$t -arden$2 (a$ +ade read! %"r

the ne( bride An Iri$h "*erne$$, Mi$$ "rdan, &a+e t" tea&h her

En'i$h and $ta!ed "n a$ a )er+anent +e+ber "% "#r %a+i'! ti'' $he

died M! +"ther, A++#, $""n be&a+e a %a$hi"nab'e !"#n 'ad! Shedr"*e her "(n h"r$e and &arriae and (a$ %riend'! (ith +an! "% the

("+en (h" (ere in the %"re%r"nt "% $"&iet! A+"n$t the+ (a$ .ad!

Ben$"n, (h" t""/ her #nder her Briti$h (in M! %ather2$ 3#ni"r$

#$#a''! a&&"+)anied A++# a$ he hi+$e'% had n" ti+e and (a$

&"+)'ete'! i++er$ed in hi$ ("r/ Yet, in hi$ ?#iet (a!, +! %ather &ared

dee)'! %"r hi$ !"#n (i%e and (anted her t" ha*e a'' the thin$ he had

+i$$ed

M! %ather had an e9tre+e'! di$&i)'ined 'i%e and hi$ 'a( )ra&ti&e and

hi$ in*"'*e+ent (ith $ettin #) )re+ier in$tit#ti"n$ t""/ #) a'' hi$ ti+e

A%ter "%%i&e h"#r$ he "%ten (a'/ed ba&/ a'' the (a! %r"+ Ar+enian Street

"r t""/ the train, (hi&h ("#'d $)e&ia''! $t") %"r hi+ b! the (i&/et ateat the end "% "#r arden Whi'e he ne*er t""/ "%% an! ti+e %"r 'ei$#re,

he )a+)ered M#++! He '"*ed and &heri$hed her dear'!, and )erha)$

be&a#$e $he (a$ $" !"#n, ind#'ed her in e*er! (a!

One "% hi$ +"$t bri''iant 3#ni"r$ bein deb"nair and i++a'ate'!

dre$$ed and, n" d"#bt, (a$ dee)'! in '"*e (ith herV. Ethira3, (a$ a

hand$"+e e$&"rt %"r +! +"ther M! %ather, (h"+ (e &a''ed 1Dadd!2

th"#ht hi$ 3#ni"r $h"#'d be (e'' ed#&ated and arraned %"r Ethira3 t"

ha*e a t#t"r He $e'e&ted a di$tin#i$hed )r"%e$$"r &a''ed Radha/ri$hnan

t" (h"+ I hear he )aid %i%teen r#)ee$ an h"#r, a hand$"+e $#+ in th"$e

da!$ Dr Radha/ri$hnan, +#&h 'ater be&a+e the di$tin#i$hed Pre$ident"% India Mr Ethira3 a'$" r"$e t" reat heiht$ a$ a 'a(!er One "% Mr

F ATHER



18/294


>

Ethira32$ !"#n %riend$ (h" "%ten enaed hi+ a$ $eni"r &"#n$e' (a$ a

!"#n +an &a''ed Ven/atara+an (h"+ he a%%e&ti"nate'! &a''ed 1+! 3#ni"r2He t"" (ent "n t" be&"+e the Pre$ident "% India

M! %ather &"ntin#ed hi$ "(n $)e&ta'ar &areer in 'a( and tra*e''ed

(ide'!, (ith %re?#ent tri)$ t" ."nd"n %"r $)e&ia' &a$e$ Hi$ 1brie%$2 6I

read the+ a$ $t"rie$7 a'(a!$ intere$ted +e a$ a &hi'd and "ne in )arti'ar

a$ t"'d t" +e b! +! #n&'e, Rananadha I!er, i$ ("rth re'atin It (a$

&a''ed the 8ada+b#r &a$e and $h"($ the $/i'', the ener! and the $t#d!

+! %ather br"#ht t" ea&h &ha''ene

The 8ada+b#r &a$e (a$ a $en$ati"na' "ne a$ it in*"'*ed the +#rder "% De .a Ha!, an En'i$h+an, a terrib'e &ri+e in the da!$ "% the Briti$h

Ra3 The +#rdered +an (a$ *er! #n)")#'ar (ith hi$ (ard$ be&a#$e "%

the har$h +anner in (hi&h he +eted "#t $e*ere )#ni$h+ent$ t" !"#n

4a+indar$ Hi$ "b*i"#$ &"nte+)t %"r a'' Indian$ 'ed t" hi$ trai& death

The re&"rd $h"(ed that the %"#'e$t 'an#ae (a$ #$ed aain$t the (ard$

b! De .a Ha! and he had had the a#da&it! t" &a'' a 'eadin 4a+indar,

he'd in hih e$tee+ b! the "*ern+ent, 1that b'""d! nier )rin&e2

When the$e %a&t$ be&a+e )#b'i& d#rin the &"#r$e "% the )r"&eedin$

in &"nne&ti"n (ith thi$ &a$e, the "*ern+ent at "n&e ab"'i$hed the

in$tit#ti"n "% (hi&h he (a$ the )rin&i)a', an a&t hai'ed (ith +#&h

$ati$%a&ti"n b! the )#b'i& and th"$e intere$ted in the (e'%are "% the$t#dent$

One "% the (ard$, Sina+)atti, (a$ a )ri+e $#$)e&t be&a#$e he had

been #n3#$t'! )#ni$hed b! De .a Ha! and (a$ a'$" /n"(n t" be a ""d

$h"t Man! "% the (ard$ )"$$e$$ed re*"'*er$ a$ the! #$ed t" " "n

h#ntin e9)editi"n$ int" the thi&/ Chin'e)#t %"re$t$ nearb! On +ere

$#$)i&i"n, b"th Sina+)atti and hi$ %riend, 8ada+b#r, (ere arre$ted and

)#t in the '"&/#) A 'enth! a&&"#nt "% the traed!, (ith $en$ati"na'i$t

head'ine$, a))eared in a'' the dai'ie$ in Chennai R#+"#r$ (ere ri%e and

+ere $#$)i&i"n$ (ere )#b'i$hed, e*en (ith )h"t"ra)h$ "% the a&$ed

(hi'e in )"'i&e $t"d! The 4a+indar "% Sina+)atti, the %ather "% the(ard, &a+e i++ediate'! t" Chennai, had $e*era' inter*ie($ (ith hi$ $"n,



19/294

<

and "n the ad*i&e "% hi$ 'ea' ad*i$er$ (a$ )re)ared t" +a/e hi$ $"n an

1a))r"*er2 %"r the )#r)"$e "% $a*in hi+ A &hare$heet (a$ %i'ed aain$tb"th the a&$ed and the )re'i+inar! en?#ir! (a$ t" bein $h"rt'! be%"re

the Chie% Pre$iden&! +ai$trate The 4a+indar "% Sina+)atti enaed

t(" (e''5/n"(n &ri+ina' 'a(!er$ and "n their ad*i&e Sina+)atti (a$ t"

t#rn a))r"*er A Hih C"#rt 3#de in a &a$#a' &"n*er$ati"n (ith the

+e+ber ab"#t the &a$e &a+e t" /n"( that n" arrane+ent$ had been

+ade b! the C"#rt "% Ward$ %"r the de%en&e "% "ther a&$ed, 8ada+b#r,

and that the C"#rt had n" intenti"n "% ha*in hi+ de%ended He $#e$ted

that the! enae Dr S(a+inadhan, the be$t 'a(!er in Chennai

M! %ather t""/ #) the &a$e and (hen he inter*ie(ed 8ada+b#r, the

b"! $("re inn"&en&e and $h"(ed reat &"#rae, a trait +! %ather ad+iredS""n a%ter, +! %ather re&ei*ed a $#++"n$ %r"+ the 1hiher #)$2, t" tr!

and )er$#ade hi+ n"t t" )r"&eed (ith the &a$e M! %ather re%#$ed the

$#++"n$ b#t in*ited the+ t" *i$it hi+ at hi$ "%%i&e i% the! needed an!

&"#n$e', (hi'e "b3e&tin $tr"n'! t" hi$ (ard 8ada+b#r bein treated

a$ a &"++"n &ri+ina' Sina+)atti, (h" had be&"+e an a))r"*er, re)eated

)arr"t5'i/e a &""/ed5#) $t"r! and the )re'i+inar! en?#ir! (a$ &"n&'#ded

(ith #nd#e ha$te A%ter the &"#rt &'"$ed, +! %ather *i$ited 8ada+b#r

in 3ai' and %"#nd he had been $ent a 'etter in Ta+i' %r"+ hi$ %riend

Sina+)atti bein %"ri*ene$$ %"r hi$ %a'$e $tate+ent in &"#rt, (hi&h

he $aid he had been )re$$#ri4ed int" (ritin b! hi$ %ather M! %ather

i++ediate'! t""/ the 'etter t" the rei$trar "% the Hih C"#rt H"(e*er,a$ he %e't that hi$ &'ient ("#'d n"t ha*e a %air tria' in Chennai, he a$/ed

%"r the &a$e t" be tran$%erred t" M#+bai th"#h the C"#rt "% Ward$

threatened hi+ aain$t thi$ de&i$i"n Thin$ had &"+e t" a $eri"#$ )a$$

and e*en +! %ather2$ 'i%e (a$ in daner He t""/ the b"'d $te) "% "in

t" De'hi t" $ee the -"*ern"r5-enera', (h", in $)ite "% hi$ b#$! $&hed#'e

+et hi+ %"r %i*e +in#te$ a%ter '#n&h, d#e )erha)$ t" the %a&t that hi$

)ri*ate $e&retar! (a$ an "'d %riend "% +! %ather2$ %r"+ hi$ Edinb#rh

da!$ The -"*ern"r5-enera' )r"+i$ed e*er! a$$i$tan&e (hen he heard

the tr#e %a&t$ "% the &a$e

The &a$e (ent %"r tria' be%"re the M#+bai Hih C"#rt t" the$#r)ri$e "% e*er!"ne in Chennai, e$)e&ia''! the C"#rt "% Ward$

F ATHER



20/294


;

Deter+ined t" $a*e hi$ !"#n &'ient, Dadd! t""/ the a$$i$tan&e "% a

'a(!er, Mr Wadia, in M#+bai, a$ he hi+$e'% (a$ n"t (e'' a&?#ainted (ithM#+bai2$ )r"%e$$i"na' n"r+$

The tria' (hi&h had n"( be&"+e acause celebreattra&ted h#e &r"(d$,

e$)e&ia''! a$ the Chie% #$ti&e (a$ &"nd#&tin the &a$e hi+$e'%, and a

$)e&ia' 3#r! had been a))"inted The Cr"(n Pr"$et"r %r"+ Chennai

#$ed a'' hi$ $/i'' t" tr! and brea/ the !"#n a&$ed, b#t did n"t $#&&eed,

in $)ite "% the a))r"*er2$ %a'$e te$ti+"n!

Mr Wadia $/i'%#''! e9tra&ted %r"+ the a))r"*er, Sina+)atti, the %a&t

that he /ne( b"th Ta+i' and En'i$h b#t )re%erred t" (rite in Ta+i' It

(a$ a dra+ati& +"+ent (hen +! %ather br"#ht "#t the 'etter (hi&h

the a))r"*er had (ritten t" 8ada+b#r Sina+)atti ad+itted that it (a$hi$ "(n (ritin and $inat#re M! %ather had )re)ared an En'i$h

tran$'ati"n "% the 'etter and &")ie$ (ere handed t" the Chie% #$ti&e (h"

re?#e$ted it be read a'"#d The entire &"#rt5r""+ (a$ $h"&/ed a$ there

(a$ n" '"ner an! &a$e aain$t 8ada+b#r M! %ather2$ (i$e de&i$i"n t"

tran$%er the &a$e t" M#+bai $a*ed 8ada+b#r In $)ite "% Mr Wadia2$

)r"te$t$, Dadd! in$i$ted that he ta/e the %#'' %ee %"r the &a$e, th"#h

+"$t "% the e9)en$e$ had &"+e "#t "% hi$ "(n )"&/et Hi$ 3"! in $a*in

the 'i%e "% a !"#n, inn"&ent b"! and en$#rin that there (a$ n" +i$&arriae

"% 3#$ti&e, (a$ re(ard en"#h

M! %ather &a+e h"+e t" Chennai t" a her"2$ (e'&"+e There (ere

&r"(d$ &heerin hi+ at the rai'(a! $tati"n Di$'i/in $#&h de+"n$trati"n$,he b"(ed t" the )e")'e and (ent dire&t'! t" Ar+enian Street, (here

8ada+b#r2$ +"ther (a$ a(aitin hi+ Tear$ "% 3"! )"#red d"(n her

&hee/$ a$ $he e+bra&ed her $"n and %e'' at +! %ather2$ %eet, +#&h t"

hi$ e+barra$$+ent He a'(a!$ di$'i/ed bein than/ed %"r d"in (hat he

th"#ht (a$ hi$ d#t! I re+e+ber "n&e, (hen a &'ient br"#ht a h#e

ba$/et "% %r#it$ a$ a i%t, he /i&/ed it d"(n "#r )a$$ae(a! in a terrib'e

te+)er 1Y"# are )a!in %"r +! ("r/,2 he $h"#ted, 1and that2$ en"#h2

I (a$ n"t a hea'th! &hi'd and re+e+ber the ti+e (hen I (a$ &riti&a''!i'' (ith t!)h"id %"r three +"nth$ There (a$ an e9&e''ent S&"tti$h d"&t"r



21/294

(h" '""/ed a%ter +e One da! (hen I (a$ better b#t $ti'' n"t a''"(ed

t" eat an!thin 0 n"t e*en a tea$)""n "% 1/arab""ndhi2 %"r the Ne( Year,

Dadd! $at in +! r""+ ha*in hi$ tea 0 a rare e*ent M! +"ther $aid,

1D"n2t eat in %r"nt "% her,2 and I $aid, 1N", n", 'et Dadd! be here2 I '"*ed

hi+ $" *er! +#&h Did he e*en /n"( that@ He a'(a!$ &a''ed +e 1&hi'd2

and that t" +e i$ n"( "ne "% the +"$t e*"&ati*e ter+$ "% endear+entin the En'i$h 'an#ae The "n'! ti+e he (a$ di$)'ea$ed (ith +e (a$

(hen I ("#'d n"t )ra&ti&e the )ian" S"+eh"( I did n"t 'i/e the

in$tr#+ent Sin&e I '"*ed +"*e+ent, $ittin $ti'' (a$ t"rt#re Whene*er

M#++! $#e$ted ta/in a %a+i'! )h"t"ra)h he ("#'d )r"+)t'! ha*e

hi$ head $ha*ed, $" there are *er! %e( )h"t"ra)h$ "% hi+

M! e'de$t br"ther, -"*ind, 'e%t h"+e (hen he (a$ t(e'*e, %"r +! %ather

%e't that the be$t ed#&ati"n (a$ in En'and S" I hard'! /ne( hi+ and +et

hi+ "n'! (hen he &a+e ba&/, a !"#n +an "% t(ent!, a %e( +"nth$ be%"re+! %ather died Hi$ *er! 1Briti$hne$$2 %rihtened +e, and it (a$ a'+"$t a

F ATHER



22/294


=

de&ade 'ater that I &"#'d &"+e t" ter+$ (ith +! terr"r and ad+ire the

%ine )er$"na'it! he (a$ M! br"ther S#bbara+ (ent t" En'and (henhe (a$ "n'! $e*en It (a$ "ne "% the &r#e''e$t thin$ +! )arent$ did,

a$ a +atter "% &"#r$e, be&a#$e it (a$ a Briti$h $t"+ Strane that I $ti''

$ee hi+ "n the #))er b#n/ "% the $hi)2$ &abin, &r!in hi$ heart "#tK That

a(%#' )i&t#re ha$ ne*er 'e%t +e th"#h I (a$ then a +ere in%ant

De&ade$ 'ater, (hen +! rand$"n, Re*anta, had t" ta/e a de&i$i"n

t" 'ea*e h"+e %"r hiher ed#&ati"n at %i%teen, I re+e+bered the )ain

that +! br"ther +#$t ha*e "ne thr"#h A%ter a harr"(in, $'ee)'e$$

niht I )'eaded that Re*anta $h"#'d n"t be $ent a(a! and %"rt#nate'!

e*er!"ne areed It (a$ "n'! (hen he t#rned eihteen that he de&ided

(ith hi$ )arent$ t" 3"in the Uni*er$it! "% the Art$ in Phi'ade')hia t" d"a &"#r$e in M#'ti+edia

A'' +! 'i%e, +! re'ati"n$hi) (ith +! br"ther$ (a$ rather %"r+a'

th"#h -"*ind2$ (i%e S#'"&hana be&a+e a dear %riend

-"*ind $""n e$tab'i$hed hi+$e'% a$ a bri''iant &ri+ina' 'a(!er and

'ater in :> (a$ Ad*"&ate -enera' "% Ta+i'nad# Hi$ tre+end"#$ $en$e

"% h#+"#r, h"ne$t! and &har+, be&a+e a b!("rd in Chennai and $""n

a'' "*er India S#bbara+ (a$ a !"#n b#$ine$$+an in M#+bai, e9tre+e'!

)")#'ar in $"&ia' &ir&'e$, a ""d $)"rt$+an, and (e''5'i/ed b! e*er!"ne

.a/$h+i, I (at&hed (ith ad+irati"n, th"#h at that ti+e, the di%%eren&e

in "#r ae$ did n"t a''"( %"r &"+)ani"n$hi), th"#h 'ater (e be&a+e

*er! &'"$e

M! %ather (a$ +! entire 'i%e Ear'! +"rnin$ and 'ate niht$ be'"ned

t" +e S"+eh"( (e %"#nd ti+e t" be t"ether, b#t %"r $#&h a $h"rt a

ti+e He died (hen I (a$ *er! !"#n We had "ne t" 8era'a (ith

M#++! (hen the +e$$ae &a+e 0 he had &"''a)$ed (ith a $tr"/e We

r#$hed ba&/ It (a$ a(%#' t" $ee hi+ '!in $" $ti'' He &"#'d n"t $)ea/

That (a$ en"#h t" brin h"+e t" +e the terr"r "% death, "r +"re than

that, the terr"r "% 'i*in death He (anted t" &"+%"rt +e, hi$ 'i)$ +"*ed,

b#t n" $"#nd &a+e Hi$ hand$ t(it&hed (ith a '"nin t" )'a&e the+"n +! "(n I (aited be$ide hi+ $i'ent'!, n"t /n"(in (hat t" $a! %"r



23/294

:

I had n"t !et be#n t" 'earn the $""thin &"+%"rt "% ("rd$ On the third

da!, e9ha#$ted, I $'e)t b! +! +"ther, and ("/e aain in $#dden %rihtShe '""/ed at +e and an$(ered the %ear in +! e!e$ (ith a $ha/e "% her

head I /ne( then that he (a$ "ne It (a$ De&e+ber :, := I (a$

n"t intere$ted in the &"+%"rtin ("rd$ "% +! re'ati"n$ M! %ather had

"ne "n a 3"#rne! He 'a! there &a'+ and &"'d I (anted hi+ t" ta'/,

t" be (ith +e

On'! $"+e"ne (h" ha$ been thr"#h $#&h an e9)erien&e, (h" ha$

'"$t a )arent in their &hi'dh""d, &an #nder$tand the tra#+a it )r"d#&e$

I had n" "ne t" t#rn t" e9&e)t +! A!ah (h" #nder$t""d +! $"rr"(

t" $"+e e9tent F"r "ne !ear I (ent t" +! %ather2$ r""+ and '"&/ed

+!$e'% in, 3#$t t" (ee) and (ee) It (a$ a harr"(in e9)erien&e That!ear, I 'earnt that 'i%e d"e n"t brin ha))ine$$ a'"neK that $"rr"( i$ )art

and )ar&e' "% 'i*in and that '"ne'ine$$ i$ $"+ethin that ha$ t" be

a&&e)ted A%ter +! %ather2$ death I ha*e ne*er tr#$ted 'i%e, e*en in it$

ha))! +"+ent$ It t""/ +e !ear$ t" #nder$tand and a))re&iate that

'i*in in &"n$tant a))rehen$i"n (a$ (r"n, that it (a$ (i$er b! %ar t"

thin/ in ter+$ "% 1the n"(2

The %ear, that i% I '"*ed $"+e"ne, he ("#'d di$a))ear and 'ea*e +e

a'' a'"ne, (a$ dee)5r""ted in +e I had t" 'earn t" re'! "n +!$e'% Year$

'ater I %"#nd +!$e'% dea'in (ith the $a+e $&ar$ (hen Vi/ra+ died and

I %e't +! ("r'd &"+e a)art

Mi$$in +! %ather de$)erate'!, I t""/ t" ("r/in a )'an&hette and&"n$tant'! the ("rd$ $)e't "#t 1("r/, ("r/ &hi'd2 Wee/'! %e*er$ )er$i$ted,

)erha)$ be&a#$e "% +! %ather2$ death The d"&t"r$ de&ided "n ha*in

+! t"n$i'$ re+"*ed, (hi&h (a$ the #$#a' re+ed! %"r a'' i''ne$$ in th"$e

da!$ Dr Cherian, a $#re"n "% re)#te, )er%"r+ed the ")erati"n When

he &a+e t" $ee +e the ne9t da!, he a*e +e a bi th#+) "n the ba&/

and $aid, 1N"( ta'/, and eat a$ +#&h i&e &rea+ a$ !"# (ant2 Year$ 'ater,

(hen he (a$ -"*ern"r "% M#+bai and )re$idin at +! dan&e re&ita' he

a*e +e the $a+e th#+) and $aid t" the a#dien&e, 1I +ade her (e''

en"#h t" dan&e2

Re&ent'! $"+e"ne (r"te t" +e, e9&'ai+in "n 1h"( the !ear$ r"''b!2 Readin the 'etter I bean t" ("nder, (hen did I r"( #)@ Wa$ it

F ATHER



24/294


a%ter +! %ather2$ death@ I$ there a de%inin +"+ent "% +at#rit!@ Ye$

there i$ The !"#n tear%#' &hi'd, #n&"n$&i"#$'! rea'i4ed the ne( r"'ethat had t" be )'a!ed in 'i%e, t" be a (itne$$ "% "ne$e'% and !et t" be

i++er$ed dee)'! in the )r"&e$$ "% 'i*in %#''!



25/294

M"ther

AFTER MY FATHER2S DEATH, MY MOTHER MADE - I.CHRIST - ARDENS A&entre %"r b"th her $"&ia' and )"'iti&a' &ir&'e$ With the r"(in #nre$tin the &"#ntr! and -andhi3i2$ &a'' t" ("+en t" )arti&i)ate in the %reed"+

$tr#'e in the 'ate thirtie$, $he 3"ined the C"nre$$, be&a+e )re$ident

"% the A'' India W"+en2$ C"n%eren&e, and 'ater a +e+ber "% the .ei$'ati*e

A$$e+b'! in De'hi %r"+ Dindi#' in Ta+i'nad#

M! %ather2$ (i'', 'i/e the +an, (a$ #n#$#a' He had 'e%t +! +"ther

her "(n in&"+e and e?#a' $hare$ t" ea&h "% the %"#r &hi'dren S" a'' "%

#$ (ere %inan&ia''! $ere M! +"ther had indeed been %"rt#nate in her

+arriae It (a$ +! %ather (h" intr"d#&ed her t" Mahat+a -andhi She

had +et hi+ $e*era' ti+e$ and he he')ed her et intere$ted in the

$tr#'e %"r %reed"+

When -andhi3i +et +! +"ther $"+e !ear$ 'ater, he $aid, 1Thi$ i$

n"t the ir' S(a+inadhan +arried She (a$ a ti+id &"#ntr! &hi'd2

I )eered at the t""th'e$$ "'d +an %r"+ behind +! +"ther2$ $ari He

n"ti&ed +e and )in&hed +! &hee/ $" hard that I a'+"$t &ried "#t 1What

(i'' !"# i*e +e@2 he a$/ed I had n"thin b#t +! t(" "'d ban'e$

Si'ent'!, I t""/ the+ "%% and )#t the+ in hi$ hand He '""/ed at +e

'"*in'!, )atted +! head and (ent "n, +! ban'e$ in hi$ hand It (a$

+! %ir$t *"'#ntar! i%t %"r %reed"+

M! +"ther (a$ $trane'! riid in $"+e (a!$ She be&a+e in*"'*ed in)"'iti&$ e*en be%"re +! %ather died and (a$ *er! +#&h a 'eader in the



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G

$"&ia' 'i%e "% Chennai She (a$ a +e+ber "% the 'adie$ &'#b, $he t""/

)art in a'' the dra+ati&$, #$#a''! a$ the her"ine She a'$" )'a!ed tenni$

and (a$ "ne "% the %ir$t ("+en t" dri*e a &ar She (a$ a *er! ta'ented

)er$"n, a ra&i"#$ and &har+in h"$te$$, b#t $he had n" ti+e %"r her

&hi'dren

M#++! (a$ a(a! a reat dea' "% the ti+e and I ("nder n"( (h!$he $ee+ed t" &are $" 'itt'e %"r #$ She (a$ e9tre+e'! $ar&a$ti& and ne*er

en&"#rain I a'(a!$ th"#ht it (a$ "n'! t"(ard$ +e that $he beha*ed

har$h'! B#t .a/$h+i t"'d +e !ear$ 'ater that $he had %e't the $a+e (a!

t"" .a/$h+i (a$ $" '"*e'! t" '""/ at and I, at that ae, a rea' #'!

d#&/'in What did n"t he') (a$ +! +"ther2$ in$i$ten&e "n ttin +!

hair $h"rt, $" I '""/ed 'i/e a b"! Th"#h I hated it $he had $"+e idea

that it a*e $trenth I (a$ )re$#+ed a (ea/'in be&a#$e I (a$ *er! thin

What I &an re+e+ber +"$t &'ear'! are the $&"'din$ that I #$ed t" et

and the beatin$ I $#%%ered I (a$ "%ten )#ni$hed b! +! +"ther and

'"&/ed #) in the bathr""+ I n"( thin/ +! &'a#$tr")h"bia $te+$ %r"+the$e &ha$ti4e+ent$



27/294

I hated eatin t"" and M#++! #$ed t" a'(a!$ /ee) a $ti&/ (ith

(hi&h t" ra) +! /n#&/'e$ (hen I )r"te$ted ab"#t the a+"#nt "% %""d"n +! )'ate She $("re $he ("#'d +a/e a ra+")h"ne re&"rd that (ent,

1Mrina'ini eat, Mrina'ini eat2 The $er*ant$ #nder$t""d +! an#i$h and

"%ten inter*ened "n +! beha'% Vadi*e'#, "#r b#t'er, ("#'d $nat&h %i$t%#'$

"% %""d "%% +! )'ate (hen M#++! (a$ n"t '""/in The! a'' '"*ed +e

a$ I '"*ed the+

In "#r $"&iet!, at that ti+e, there (a$ n" h#in "r /i$$in "%

&hi'dren a$ it (a$ &"n$idered 1n"t d"ne2 Perha)$ thi$ n"ti"n (a$ d#e

t" the in%'#en&e "% the Briti$h (h" be'ie*ed that &hi'dren (ere t" be $een

and n"t heard I had de&ided then and there 6I +#$t ha*e been "n'! ten7

that i% I e*er +arried and had &hi'dren, I ("#'d &are %"r the+ dee)'!and +a/e the+ %ee' '"*ed and (anted

On'! +! A!ah, +! deare$t 1Bhatata!ah2, #nder$t""d +e (hen I (a$ 'itt'e

N" "ne e'$e .a/$h+i, +! $i$ter, (a$ "'der and b#$! (ith her ("r/ and

+! br"ther$ had a'read! "ne abr"ad A'' +! $"rr"( (a$ $""thed b!

A!ah She ta#ht +e n#r$er! rh!+e$, $he hid +e in the %"'d$ "% her $ari

(hen I (a$ &r!in, and $he br"#ht +e %""d (hen I (a$ )#ni$hed In

th"$e da!$ A!ah$ "%ten '""/ed a%ter the &hi'dren "% Briti$h $ahib$ and

$" (ere (e''5*er$ed in En'i$h I "(e her a reat debt "% ratit#de

be&a#$e $he (a$ the "n'! )er$"n (h" rea''! '"*ed and +"thered +e It

(a$ in her 'a) that I %e't &"+%"rted She (i'' ne*er /n"( h"( +#&h

$trenth $he a*e +e (ith her '"*e and de*"ti"n It (a$ her &are that

he')ed +e t" et "*er the terrib'e )eri"d$ in +! 'i%e

I (a$ a(a! at $&h""' (hen .a/$h+i "t +arried Nan3a (a$ a

The"$")hi$t and "ne "% India2$ %ir$t )i'"t$ We th"#ht hi$ 'i%e *er!

e9&itin and r"+anti&, e$)e&ia''! (hen he %'e( "*er the h"#$e and air5

dr"))ed %'"(er$ %"r .a/$h+i She +arried hi+, b#t &a+e h"+e a'+"$t

i++ediate'!, )erha)$ rea'i4in that $he (a$ n"t rea''! in '"*e (ith hi+

We (ere br"#ht #) riid'!, in tr#e Briti$h %a$hi"n, and /ne( n"thin

"% $e9 "r ab"#t the &hane$ in "#r b"d! "r (hat +arriae i+)'ied What

MOTHER



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>

a(%#' e9)erien&e$ &hi'dren " thr"#h be&a#$e "% their )arent$2 han5

#)$ I (r"te a 'etter t" M#++! ab"#t a'' thi$ !ear$ 'ater b#t e*en then

in$tead "% %ee'in $"rr! $he (a$ *er! anr! She ne*er had )atien&e (ith

an! "ne "% #$, (hi&h (a$ *er! trai& be&a#$e a%ter (e re( #) it (a$

t"" 'ate %"r #nder$tandin "r '"*e, th"#h (e b"th tried

M! %ather (a$ the "n'! "ne (h" #$ed t" re)eated'! $a!, 1Thi$ &hi'd

(i'' d" $"+ethin ("rth(hi'e in the ("r'd2 I (a$ dar/ &"+)'e9i"ned

and $/inn! 0 b"th terrib'e $"&ia' handi&a)$ in +! ti+e In India !"# ha*e

t" be r"#nd, %air and )'#+) t" be &a''ed bea#ti%#' M! +"ther a'(a!$e+)ha$i4ed the %a&t that I (a$ n"t ("rth +#&h I d"n2t thin/ I ha*e e*er

"t "*er that On'! +! art a*e +e the &"#rae t" 'i*e, and thr"#h

the !ear$, +! +ar*e''"#$ %riend$ and +! a#dien&e$ ha*e he')ed +e b#i'd

#) +! $e'%5e$tee+ I 'i/e t" %ee' n"( that there (a$ $"+ethin in +e

that attra&ted )e")'e and +ade the+ tr#$t +e 0 n"t 3#$t the ("+en,

b#t the +en t"" E*er! 'itt'e in&ident "% /indne$$ +attered t" +e I

re+e+ber that "n&e, a re'ati"n "% "#r$, -")iettan, (h" (a$ an enineer

in Chennai, (a$ $ittin at "#r dinner tab'e We (ere a'' di$$$in

$"+ethin ani+ated'! (hen $#dden'! he $aid, 1Mrina' i$ "in t" be the

bea#t! "% the %a+i'!2 That &"+)'ete'! $)"ntane"#$ re+ar/ a*e +e $"

+#&h ha))ine$$



29/294


30/294


;

(ent t" $&h""' On&e the h"r$e had an a&&ident 3#$t "#t$ide -"*ern+ent

h"#$e and 'anded in$ide a tra+ What a t"5d" there (a$ (ith a'' "% #$

$&ra+b'in "#t, the A!ah, .a/$h+i and +e We (ere re$ed b! $"+e

%riend$ and ta/en h"+e It (a$ ?#ite a '"t "% %#n b#t the &arriae (a$

di$&arded and +#&h t" "#r di$tre$$, the h"r$e $"'d $""n a%ter

We had a tenni$ &"#rt at -i'&hri$t -arden$ and e*er! S#nda! e*enin

there (ere tenni$ )artie$ Man! #e$t$ (ere '"&a' &ha+)i"n$ and I did

n"t +ind )i&/in #) the ba''$ %r"+ the $ide'ine a$ the! )'a!ed I re+e+ber Ba'a")a', 8ri$hna$(a+i, V. Ethira3 and "ther$ at "#r h"+e I )ra&ti&ed

re#'ar'! (ith the +ar/er and be&a+e ?#iet )r"%i&ient A%ter(ard$ there

(a$ a'(a!$ a de'i&i"#$ tea $er*ed in e'eant &hina )$ (ith an arti$ti&

&a+e' de$in I $ti'' ha*e $"+e "% the+ In tr#e Briti$h %a$hi"n (e had

+ber and t"+at" $and(i&he$, &a/e$ and rr! )#%%$ A h#e +an"

tree nearb! a*e the )'a!er$ )'ent! "% $hade

I '"*ed e9)'"rin -i'&hri$t -arden$ There (ere terra&e$ a'' ar"#nd,

$"+e "% (hi&h (ere "n'! a&&e$$ib'e b! &'i+bin the r""%$ M! &"#$in

Sar"3ini, -")a'a+a+a2$ da#hter, (h" (a$ $ta!in (ith #$,"%ten &'i+bed

the %en&e$ (ith +e Fr"+ the t") (e ("#'d 3#+) "nt" the +attre$$e$ /e)t%"r airin be'"( and r#n a(a! be%"re (e (ere di$&"*ered Un%"rt#nate'!



31/294

"#r %eet ("#'d 'ea*e their )rint$ and M#++! ("#'d %ind "#t and (hat

a $&"'din (e had then We (ere a'(a!$ #) t" $"+e ne( +i$&hie%On&e,(hen e*er!"ne (a$ a(a!, (e &'i+bed thr"#h a hih (ind"(

int" the $t"rer""+ The 'adder $'i))ed and "#r hand$ $'id d"(n the (a''

We t"'d the $er*ant Ra+an t" &'ean #) the +e$$ b#t he did n"t b"ther

What %"''"(ed (a$ an a(%#' $h"(d"(n Sar"3ini (a$ bani$hed t" her

h"+e in Vada/ath and I ne*er heard the end "% the $t"r!

E*er $in&e &hi'dh""d, the $ea ha$ been +! reat '"*e The *a$t e9)an$e

"% b'#e5reen (ater, the $/!, the $#r% "% the (a*e$, the $and$ $tret&hin

end'e$$'!, $" (hite and bea#ti%#', the hea*en'! %ee' "% the $and bet(een+! t"e$ The tran?#i''it!, the rae, a'' +erin and %"ri*in the h#rt$

"% "#r )a$t

And, "% &"#r$e, the %#n at %e$ti*a'$ Dee)a*a'i (a$ a'(a!$ an e9&itin

da! at h"+e A &art %i''ed (ith &ra&/er$ ("#'d arri*e in the +"rnin %"r

the e*enin2$ $)e&ta&'e I hated the n"i$e th"#h it (a$ *er! en3"!ab'e

t" +eet %riend$ (h" dr"))ed in I (ent ar"#nd (ith +! hand$ &"*erin

+! ear$, tr!in t" $+i'e and ta'/ t" the #e$t$ dre$$ed in briht &'"the$

and $harin de'i&i"#$ %""d (ith e*er!"ne (h" had &"+e t" *i$it

-"in t" the The"$")hi&a' S"&iet! at Ada!ar (ith +! +"ther (a$

a (ee/'! "&rren&e, $tartin (hen I (a$ three !ear$ "'d There $he

$)ent +"$t "% the ti+e (ith Ma'ati Pat(ardhan 6'ater Na*r"3i7, "ne "% her &'"$e$t %riend$, (h"+ (e &a''ed A//a

8ri$hna3i 68ri$hna+#rthi7, hi$ %riend, ad#nandan Pra$ad, Bhairati

Sri Ra+, Dr and Mr$ C"#$in$, (ere a'' )art "% +! +"ther2$ inti+ate

&ir&'e O%ten (e tra*e''ed t"ether t" the $a+e )'a&e$, and I re+e+ber

a tri) +"$t )r"bab'! +ade in : t" Varana$i E*er!thin (a$ $" dirt!

b! the -ana that I re%#$ed t" bathe in the %i'th! (ater The b#rnin

&"r)$e$ +ade +e i'' and I de*e'")ed a hih %e*er M#++! de&ided t"

$end +e h"+e 8ri$hna3i (a$ 'ea*in %"r Chennai, $" I (ent (ith hi+

I d" n"t re+e+ber +#&h "% the ret#rn tri) a$ I (a$ b#rnin (ith %e*erB#t

8ri$hna3i2$ &""' hand$ "n +! %"rehead and hi$ %eedin +e (ith &are%#''!)ee'ed "rane$, i$ a $tr"n +e+"r! that ha$ re+ained (ith +e ti'' thi$ da!

MOTHER



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G=

Whi'e (e 'i*ed in Chennai, (e "%ten (ent t" +! rand+"ther2$

h"+e, 1Ana//ara Vada/ath,2 in 8era'a d#rin the $#++er *a&ati"n$

1Vada/ath2 (a$ a reat )'a&e t" " t" %"r the h"'ida!$ A'' the +e+ber$

"% the %a+i'! athered here We &hi'dren $(a+ +"rnin and e*enin,

$)endin h"#r$ in the h#e tan/ and )'a!in 1train2 ar"#nd the arden

In the e*enin$ a%ter the 'a+)$ had been 'it, )ra!er$ ("#'d be $#n and(e ("#'d a'' 3"in in Then at d#$/ $"+e "% #$ ("#'d )'a! &ard$ e$)e&ia''!

a a+e &a''ed 1;2 (hi&h (a$ a %a*"#rite The niht$ (ere %i''ed (ith

+!$teri"#$ ha))enin$ and the $t"rie$ t"'d t" #$ (ere a'(a!$ "% the

$#)ernat#ra' The 1+adha+2 (here the &ere+"nie$ (ere he'd (a$ in a

$+a'' b#i'din near the h"#$e O%ten d#rin the )#3a the )rie$t "r

1Vaddiar2 ("#'d " int" a tran&e We ("#'d $hi*er (ith hi+ a$ he $h""/

and +#ttered, 'ea)in ar"#nd, $#))"$ed'! )"$$e$$ed b! the -"dde$$,

an$(erin ?#e$ti"n$ in a di$e+b"died *"i&e Then there (ere the

1M""$ad$2 &"+in t" *i$it, (h" a*e #$ $trane herba' +edi&ine$ and

1Pra$hna$2 (ere dra(n "n the %'""r (ith &"n&h $he''$ t" an$(er )r"b'e+$and )redi&t the %#t#re F"r +e the at+"$)here t""/ "n a r"+anti&

M! +"ther, +! rand+"ther 6 Ammuamme7 and +! #n&'e$ and a#nt$



33/294

G:

+!$teri"#$ne$$, e$)e&ia''! at niht (hen the "i' 'a+)$ &a$t h#e $had"($

It (a$ a h"+e I '"*ed, a h"+e t" (hi&h I %e't I be'"ned A'' the$eha))enin$ +#$t ha*e had a dee) i+)re$$i"n "n +e %"r the! "%ten

be&a+e &reati*e %"r&e$ in +! dan&e dra+a$

M! rand+"ther, A++#a++a, 6(e (ere a +atri'inear %a+i'!7 (a$

the +"$t )"(er%#' )er$"n at Vada/ath %"''"(ed b! +! #n&'e -")a'a+a+a

and hi$ (i%e 8#nhi'a/$h+i A++a!i Year$ 'ater I 'earnt that +! rand%ather

had $h"t hi+$e'% in the 1+adha+2 and that (a$ (h! the )#3a$ (ere a'(a!$

he'd there It (a$ $aid that he had an inrab'e i''ne$$ and (a$ a'(a!$

in dread%#' )ain M! #n&'e, 8#ttia+a+an, 6the 8#tt! 8ri$hnan (h"

he')ed +! %ather7 had %"#nd hi+ '!in there, and e*er $in&e $#%%ered

%r"+ terrib'e niht+are$Man! %a+"#$ ("+en be'"ned t" the thara*ad "% (hi&h )erha)$ +!

+"ther (a$ the be$t5/n"(n a%ter her +arriae Be&a#$e "% her dedi&ati"n

t" ("+en2$ &a#$e$ $he he')ed "rani4e the W"+en2$ Indian A$$"&iati"n

a$ ear'! a$ ::


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G

M! /inderarten $&h""' (a$ a &"n*ent in Ve)er! Readin (a$ +!

)a$$i"n and I +#$t ha*e $tarted *er! ear'!, (hen I (a$ ab"#t %"#r !ear$"'d I (a$ *er! +i$&hie*"#$ and the n#n$ "%ten had t" $&"'d +e B#t the!

(ere /ind ("+en One da! I (ent t" $&h""' and (a$ t"'d that the

M"ther S#)eri"r (anted t" $ee +e I (a$ $#re that I (a$ "in t" et

a $&"'din and hid in the arden, b#t $he %ina''! &a#ht #) (ith +e, and

t" +! $#r)ri$e a*e +e an e9?#i$ite d"'' in a &rad'e, a$ I had $&"red the

hihe$t +ar/$ in En'i$h

Ab"#t the $a+e ti+e I +ade +! deb#t "n the $tae at the M#$e#+

Theatre in Chennai I re+e+ber it $" &'ear'!, be&a#$e I had t" re&ite the

n#r$er! rh!+e 1T" ride a &"&/ h"r$e2 There (a$ a (""den h"r$e, "n

(hi&h I ra&ed ar"#nd the $tae The h"r$e2$ head $""n %e'' "%% b#t I $ti''(ent "n (ith the ra&in n"t $t"))in %"r e*en an in$tant Perha)$ the

$eed$ "% )r"%e$$i"na'i$+ (ere $"(n "n that da!

Here in thi$ $&h""' I a'$" &"++itted +! %ir$t and 'a$t the%t One

"% the 'ibrar! b""/$ %a$&inated +e It (a$ %#'' "% )i&t#re$ and rh!+e$

I had a )in/ *e'*et ba int" (hi&h it %itted bea#ti%#''! The te+)tati"n

(a$ t"" $tr"n I br"#ht it h"+e and )#t it (ith +! "ther trea$#re$

b#t it did +a/e +e ha*e $"+e #i't! %ee'in$ (hene*er I '""/ed at it

M#++! ("#'d n"t i*e #$ +"ne! t" b#! b""/$ e9&e)t at Chri$t+a$,

$" "%ten I had t" (ait +an! +"nth$ %"r b""/$, (hi&h (a$ *er! %r#$tratin

On&e there (a$ a $e&"nd5hand d"''2$ h"#$e %"r %i%teen r#)ee$ that I

de$)erate'! (anted I &a+e h"+e %"r '#n&h and 'e%t a n"te a$/in +!+"ther %"r the +"ne! A//a $a( +! n"te and ener"#$'! 'e%t the a+"#nt

The 3"! "% that i%t (a$ i++en$e The h#ner %"r b""/$ $ti'' )er$i$t$ and

the! &"ntin#e t" be +! +"$t *a'#ed trea$#re$

There (ere +an! (e''5/n"(n ("+en (h" $ta!ed at 1-i'&hri$t

-arden$2 and (e re( #) entertainin #e$t$ Mr$ P8 Sen, "ne "% +!

+"ther2$ deare$t %riend$, t"'d +e that "n&e, (hen I (a$ ab"#t e'e*en,

M#++! had a$/ed +e t" entertain her, $" I $eated her in the dra(in

r""+ and a$/ed, 1W"#'d !"# 'i/e t" ta'/ )"'iti&$ "r art@2 Sar"3ini Naid#

(ith her $i$ter$, Mrina'ini and S#bha$hini, and br"ther Harindranath

*i$ited #$ "%ten M! +"ther, I a+ $#re, (a$ dra(n int" the ("+en2$+"*e+ent and be&a+e a&ti*e in the $tr#'e %"r their riht$, thr"#h



35/294

G

Sar"3ini Naid# S#bha$hini (a$ an ardent &"++#ni$t, an ene+! "% the

Briti$h and "n&e t""/ re%#e (ith #$ The "*ern+ent a))"inted a CID$'e#th t" %"''"( her (here*er $he (ent When $he $ta!ed in "#r h"#$e,

t(" "%%i&ia'$ $at at the ate She ("#'d $in 1Where*er !"# ", (hate*er

!"# d" I (ant !"# t" /n"(5I2+ %"''"(in !"#2 in a '"#d *"i&e She ("#'d

a'$" $end "#t )$ "% tea t" the+ On&e *i$itin #$ (a$ the (e''5/n"(n

("+an &"++#ni$t, .e$ter H#t&hin$"n I (a$ i*en a 'etter t" $+#'e

"#t hidden in +! 1)a*ade2 6$/irt7 and th"#ht it a'' a reat dea' "% %#n,

'i/e bein )art "% a dete&ti*e n"*e' I +ade hi+ $in +! a#t"ra)h5b""/

I $ti'' re&"''e&t the ("rd$ he (r"te, 1We dan&e a'"n death2$ i&! brin/

b#t i$ the dan&e 'e$$ %#'' "% %#n@2

I (a$ "n'! three (hen Sar"3ini Naid#2$ %a+i'! %ir$t &a+e t" *i$it #$,and the! $""n be&a+e reat %riend$ "% +! +"ther Mrina'ini

Chatt")adh!a!a, (h"+ (e &a''ed -#nn# A#nt!, 'ater be&a+e the )rin&i)a'

"% the -ana Ra+ S&h""' in .ah"re I (a$ na+ed a%ter her Harindranath

Chatt")adh!a!a #$ed t" +a/e +! $i$ter .a/$h+i and +! &"#$in$ a&t in

hi$ )'a!$ I (a$ dee)'! in%'#en&ed b! hi$ &har+, hi$ end'e$$ $t"rie$ and

hi$ $"n$ H"( he ("#'d $in The rehear$a'$ %a$&inated +e It (a$ *er!

+#&h the /ind "% 'i%e I (anted and Harindranath (a$ %#'' "% )"eti& (it

and b"#nd'e$$ ener!

When I (a$ eiht, Harindranath, (h"+ (e #$ed t" &a'' 1Carb Un&'e2

6at hi$ re?#e$t7 a$/ed +e (hether I ("#'d ta/e )art in a )'a! &a''ed 1The

Parr"t2 S" at an ear'! ae, I +ade a )r"%e$$i"na' a))earan&e in a )r")er dra+a at the M#$e#+ Theatre in Chennai There (ere "n'! three

&hara&ter$ in the )'a!, the M"ther, Father and their 'itt'e b"!, )'a!ed b!

+e The the+e (a$ $i+)'e The h#$band (a$ a dr#n/ard and &"n$tant'!

ab#$ed hi$ (i%e and &hi'd On&e #nder the in%'#en&e "% drin/ he dr"(n$

hi$ $"n in the $ea E*er!da! 1Carb Un&'e2 +erri'! &a+e in and &haned

the dia'"#e, be&a#$e he ne*er re+e+bered the $&ri)t B#t I $"+eh"(

t""/ #) the e$, (hi&h, (hen I '""/ ba&/ n"(, (a$ *er! )r"%e$$i"na'

I (a$ de'ihted b! (hat the &riti&$ $aid ab"#t +! a&tin, in the 1Swarajya,2

Chennai

MOTHER



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1MISS MRINA.INI2S ACTIN- TRIUMPH

Mi$$ Mrina'ini S(a+inadhan a&hie*ed a reat a&tin tri#+)hin the i+)er$"nati"n "% the b"! F"r a ir' "% her ae, $he

a&ted (ith ad+irab'e $/i'' and (a$ ne*er $tae $tr#&/ She

&a#ht $"+ethin "% the )ath"$ and the terr"r "% the b"!2$

e9i$ten&e2

H"( I '"*ed bein "n $tae I thin/ that it (a$ +! $tae )er$"na'it! that

a*e +e the &"#rae t" %a&e +! n"r+a' 'i%e In $" +an! (a!$, the Naid#

%a+i'! in%'#en&ed #$ .a/$h+i be&a+e a &"++#ni$t thr"#h S#bha$hini2$

e9a+)'e

A+"n$t the "ther "#t$tandin ("+en (h" "%ten *i$ited #$ at h"+e

(ere Ra3/#+ari A+rit 8a#r, (h" ("re e9?#i$ite /hadi $ari$ and &arriedher$e'% (ith rea' dinit!K .ad! Dhan*anthi Ra+a Ra" 6Dhan+a$i t" #$7K

Mr$ C"#$in$, 6(h" intr"d#&ed a bi'' t" ab"'i$h the De*ada$i $!$te+7K

Dr M#th#'a/$h+i Redd!, 6(h" in : $tarted the anti5na#t&h &a+)ain7K

Si$ter S#bha'a/$h+i 6(h" he')ed de$tit#te ("+en7K A&ha++a Mathai

(h"$e h#$band "hn Mathai (a$ Finan&e Mini$ter in Nehr#2$ %ir$t

"*ern+ent "% Inde)endent IndiaK -andhi3i2$ %riend, M#rie' .e$ter, and

+an! "ther$, a'' "% (h"+ reat'! &"ntrib#ted t" the ("+en2$ +"*e+ent

in India

M#++! '"*ed tra*e''in and de&ided t" ta/e #$ &hi'dren abr"ad M! %ir$t

*"!ae (a$ "n Mar&h , : We $ai'ed "n the Ita'ian $hi) the 1C"nte

Verde2 and (ere i*en a bi $end5"%% in Chennai %r"+ (here (e had 'e%t

b! train M! diar! re&"rd$ the 3"#rne! a$ bein 1terrib'! terrib'! h"t2 and

that I ate 1'"t "% i&e5&rea+2 (hi'e +! $i$ter .a/$h+i tried *a'iant'! t" diet

At S#e4, (e 'e%t the $hi) and (ith $"+e %riend$, (ent t" Cair" b!

&ar thr"#h +i'e$ "% de$ert

Then (e 'e%t b! train %"r P"rt Said, (here (e re3"ined the $hi)

Pa$$in the i$'and "% Crete (ith it$ +"#ntain$ &"*ered (ith $n"( (a$

a '"*e'! e9)erien&e We di$e+bar/ed at Brindi$i and I "t +! %ir$t *ie(

"% E#r")e M! diar! $tate$, 1What a dirt! )'a&e (ith e*er!"ne $tarinat #$ a$ th"#h (e (ere +"n/e!$ in a 4"" A +an a&t#a''! )#''ed



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.a/$h+i2$ '"n hair and $he (a$ %#ri"#$ Brindi$i d"e$n2t i*e the *i$it"r

a ""d i+)re$$i"n "% Ita'!2-"in b! train t" Na)'e$, $ittin #) a'' niht, (a$ tirin We (ent

t" bed a$ $""n a$ (e "t t" the h"te' th"#h n"t %"r '"n, %"r (e didn2t

(ant t" +i$$ ettin a '""/ at P"+)ei 1The &it! i$ h#e and it i$ )atheti&

t" $ee the de$tr#&ti"n b! the *"'&an",2 I n"ted in +! diar! Fr"+ Na)'e$

t" R"+e, and "n t" Veni&e and Vienna (here I $a( an ")eretta %"r the

%ir$t ti+e and (a$ thri''ed (ith the +#$i& and the de&"r It (a$ in M#ni&h

that I heard the terrib'e *"i&e "% Ad"'% Hit'er %"r it (a$ "n hi$ birthda!

A)ri' =th, that (e arri*ed, in the +id$t "% a $n"($t"r+ I (r"te a '"n

'etter t" a 3"#rna'i$t %riend "% the %a+i'!, CV Path!, (h" had re*ie(ed

the )'a! 1The Parr"t2 in (hi&h I had a&ted1Here,2 I (r"te, 1e*er!"ne $ee+$ be(it&hed b! a +an &a''ed Hit'er and

hi$ *"i&e b'are$ "#t e*er!(here I %ee' he i$ e*i' %r"+ the $"#nd "% hi$ *"i&e

b#t he ha$ $"+e #n&ann! h!)n"ti& ?#a'it!2 Path! )#b'i$hed the e9tra&t

)rai$in the )er&e)ti*e 'etter %r"+ $#&h a !"#n ir' Path! and I be&a+e

%riend$ and "#r %riend$hi) 'a$ted %"r +an!, +an! !ear$ ti'' hi$ death

Fr"+ M#ni&h (e (ent "n t" Pari$ S#bra+ "r 1S#d$2 a$ he (a$ &a''ed

3"ined #$ %r"+ En'and He (a$ i*en &hare "% M#++!2$ brie%&a$e (ith

the )a$$)"rt$, tra*e''er$ &he?#e$ and "ther d"+ent$, (hi'e $he '""/ed

a%ter the '#ae When (e arri*ed at the h"te', the brie%&a$e (a$

+i$$in S#d$ had %"r"tten it in the ta9i

F"r the ne9t %e( da!$ (e (ere a'' in the d"h"#$e I &an (e''#nder$tand +! +"ther2$ aner She had t" " t" the e+ba$$! t" et ne(

)er+it$ and t" b"rr"( +"ne! It +#$t ha*e been a tra#+ati& e9)erien&e

We did $"+e $iht$eein and the+ 'e%t %"r ."nd"n and Bir+inha+

(here -"*ind and S#d2$ #ardian$ in En'and, Dr and Mr$ Pardh!,

(e'&"+ed #$ He (a$ Indian and $he (a$ Briti$h and +! br"ther$ (ere

t" +a/e their h"+e (ith the+ and their &hi'dren, Anand and Ur+i'a %"r

+an! !ear$, $)endin e*er! h"'ida! (ith the+, a$ 'ater I did t""

An En'i$h $&h""' (a$ th"#ht "% %"r +e, b#t, a&&"rdin t" a di$tant#n&'e, Dr Radha/ri$hnan, (h" 'i*ed in ."nd"n, the &'i+ate (a$ t"" da+)

MOTHER



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G>

%"r $"+e"ne 'i/e +e, (h" (a$ $#$)e&ted "% ha*in TB It (a$ de&ided

t" $end +e t" S(it4er'and t" the E&"'e St -e"re$ in C'aren$, M"ntre#9

The d"&t"r$ there did n"t %ind an!thin (r"n (ith +e e9&e)t that I

(a$ 1%rai' and de'i&ate2

With +! %riend Pa+e'a 6Margetson7 B'a&tie in S(it4er'and at $&h""'



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At %ir$t I (a$ +i$erab'e, bein the "n'! Indian in the $&h""' F"rt#nate'!

I $""n +ade %riend$ At the .ad! Wi''ind"n Trainin S&h""' in Chennai, the $&h""' I had

been attendin #) #nti' then, I had been ""d at En'i$h and Hi$t"r!

and a'' the $)"rt$ Hi$t"r! intere$ted +e be&a#$e it (a$ ab"#t the )a$tK

En'i$h, be&a#$e I '"*ed the 'an#ae N"( $)"rt$ he')ed t" b""$t +!

+"ra'e in a ne( en*ir"n+ent Fr"+ "#r d"r+it"r! (ind"( (e '""/ed

"#t "n t" the .a& .e+an and in the di$tan&e the R"&her$ de Na!e

+"#ntain$ It (a$ a ("ndr"#$ 'and$&a)e B#t (ithin the $&h""', the

di$&i)'ine (a$ $tri&t and there (ere t"" +an! r#'e$

Mi$$ Ha(tre!, an e9&e''ent th"#h rather $ar&a$ti& tea&her "% En'i$h,

(a$ re'ated t" Sir Char'e$ Ha(tre!, the %a+"#$ En'i$h a&t"r, and $he+ade Sha/e$)eare *er! a'i*e %"r +e She "%ten ta#ht #$ t" a&t "#t the

dra+a$ and I $""n be&a+e ade)t at re&itin the %a+"#$ $)ee&he$ "%

P"rtia, 8atherine and, "% &"#r$e, #'iet

O#r )rin&i)a', Mi$$ -e"re, a 'ean ta'' ("+an (ith a t(in/'e in her

e!e, (a$ +"re h#+an than her &"5dire&t"r, Mi$$ P"tt$ B#t (e (ere

a'(a!$ an9i"#$ (hene*er (e (ere $#++"ned t" their "%%i&e There (a$

a rea''! dread%#' Iri$h +atr"n, the &"+)'ete antithe$i$ "% "#r dear Iri$h

"*erne$$ in Chennai, Mi$$ "rdan A +"re &r#e' and $adi$ti& ("+an

I ha*e !et t" +eet She '"*ed i*in #$ )#ni$h+ent$K $he ("#'d n"t a''"(

#$ t" " t" the d"&t"r e*en (hen (e (ere i'' She a'(a!$ tried t" en$#re

that (e (ere $tar*ed a$ +#&h a$ )"$$ib'e, $endin #$ t" bed (ith n"$#))er

Pa+e'a 6Maret$"n7 B'a&tie be&a+e "ne "% +! be$t %riend$ and I (a$

$""n )art "% a 'i*e'! r"#) I (a$ "%ten the rin'eader The b""/$ "%

Ane'a Bra4i' in$)ired +e t" h"'d +idniht %ea$t$ and b#n/ &'a$$e$ 0

e$)e&ia''! .atin in (hi&h I %ai'ed +i$erab'! T"da! I 'i/e t" $a! (ith )ride

that -andhi3i, Win$t"n Ch#r&hi'' and I a'' %ai'ed in .atin, th"#h at

di%%erent ti+e$ and )'a&e$ I th"r"#h'! en3"!ed the -ree/ dan&e &'a$$e$

and a'$" ("r/ed "n ba''et N"thin &"#'d $t") +e %r"+ dan&in There

(a$ $/iin in (inter, $/atin, netba'' and 'a&r"$$e I '"*ed a'' "#td""r

$)"rt$, and (a$ "n e*er! tea+, (innin )ri4e$ and +eda'$ S/iin (a$a %a*"#rite $)"rt th"#h tr#din #) the $'")e$ t" the hih $'")e$ "%

MOTHER



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G;

Ca#9 "%ten 'ed t" %aintin %it$ I ("n t(" $tar$ "#t "% three in $/iin

The 'a$t $tar (a$ %"r 3#+)in (hi&h (e (ere n"t a''"(ed t" d" Year$'ater a+$hed Bhabha +enti"ned thi$ t" RD Tata (h" re%#$ed t"

be'ie*e it ti'' I )r"d#&ed +! +eda' Then, ?#ite "#t "% the b'#e, d#rin

a r"#tine +edi&a' e9a+inati"n "ne da! a d"&t"r de&ided that I had a

+#r+#r in the heart and %"rbade +e %r"+ $)"rt$ %"r $i9 +"nth$

F"rt#nate'! +! &"nditi"n (a$ 'ater %"#nd t" be &"nenita', and the

$enten&e (a$ re*"/ed

A+"n$t the +a3e$ti& +"#ntain$ in S(it4er'and the tra#+ati& &hi'dh""d

+e+"rie$ "% +! )a$t (ere )artia''! $""thed I %e't %ree %"r the %ir$t ti+e

in +! 'i%e Breathin in that ("nder%#' air, (at&hin the $n"(%'a/e$ a$ the!

%e'', $ear&hin %"r i&i&'e$ in dee) b'#e r"tt"e$, I %e't re5eneri4ed In theear'! $)rin, the %rarant nar&i$$#$, the %ir$t &r"$e$, the hi''$ide b'#e

(ith entian$ 0 ne*er had I $een $#&h bea#t! be%"re E*en the ?#i*erin

b'#e (in$ "% the /in%i$her be$ide the 'a/e $tirred +e dee)'!, a'+"$t

int"9i&atin +e I %e'' in '"*e (ith Nat#re then and *"(ed t" )r"te&t her

%"re*er .itt'e did I /n"( (hat a )r"b'e+ that (a$ t" be&"+e

En'i$h 'iterat#re %a$&inated +e and +! $t"rie$ (ere )#b'i$hed in "#r

$&h""' +aa4ine M! '"*e "% (ritin (a$ a ne( di$&"*er! B""/$ ha*e

a'(a!$ been an "b$e$$i"n and at h"+e in Chennai I (a$ &"n$tant'! readin,

"%ten $eated hih #) in the bran&he$ "% a %a*"#rite +an" tree (here n""ne &"#'d %ind +e When *i$it"r$ &a+e, +! +"ther &"n$tant'! &"+)'ained

that $he ne*er /ne( (here I (a$ Whate*er I %"#nd in "#r 'ibrar! I

de*"#red 6There (a$ a $+a'' r""+ at the t") "% the h"#$e (here "n&e

+! %ather had ("r/ed, and (hi&h be&a+e a %a*"#rite hidin )'a&e %"r +e

(hene*er I did n"t (ant t" be di$t#rbed7The Count of Monte Christo,’ and

a'' A'e9ander D#+a$2$ b""/$, +"$t "% the En'i$h &'a$$i&$, ane A#$ten,

Th"+a$ Hard!, S&"tt et a' e*en a dr! *"'#+e "% Abbet2$Life of Napoleon

B""/$ ha*e re+ained +! +"$t &"n$tant &"+)ani"n$ and be$t %riend$

and, thr"#h the !ear$, +! reate$t '#9#r! It i$ in b""/$ that I %ind ne(

re'ati"n$hi)$ The! bein b! bein "n'! a )ie&e "% 'iterat#re b#t then

there i$ $#dden'! a )hra$e that t(i$t$ +! heart and the a&he that &"+e$



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i$ a'+"$t )h!$i&a' I $t") and '""/ and thin/, here i$ a %riend (h" thin/$

the (a! I d" And that i$ the $i+)'e (a! in (hi&h I +a/e %riend$, %"r a%ter that, I $ear&h %"r e*er! b""/ that +! %riend$ ha*e (ritten and

$"+eti+e$ the! ta'/ t" +e &'ear'!, an$(erin the ?#e$ti"n$ en*i$aed in

+! +ind Perha)$ that i$ (h! +"$t "% +! +en %riend$ are (riter$

In S(it4er'and, +! En'i$h tea&her (a$ )'ea$ant'! $#r)ri$ed that I

/ne( $" +#&h En'i$h 'iterat#re 0 +#&h +"re than her Briti$h $t#dent$

There (ere hard'! an! b""/$ I had n"t read in the $&h""' 'ibrar! and

had e*en read 1aniel eronda2 in nine *"'#+e$ Then, "#t "% $heer

b"red"+, I read 1New !sychology and the Teacher’ and a $+a'' r"#) "% #$

be&a+e intere$ted in ana'!$i$which was to ha"e disastrous effects which # only

learnt from !amela years later$

A%ter t(" !ear$ in S(it4er'and, the 'a$t da! at $&h""' %ina''! da(ned I

had e9&e''ed +!$e'%, )arti&i)atin in $tar !+, 3#+)in "*er the P"++e'

h"r$e, &hanin int" +! -ree/ t#ni& and dan&in It (a$ the end "% ter+

and (e br"/e #) a%ter $inin the $&h""' anthe+ The ("rd$ (ere 1I

(i'' n"t &ea$e %r"+ +enta' $tri%e, n"r $ha'' +! $("rd $'ee) in +! hand,

ti'' (e ha*e b#i't er#$a'e+ "n En'and2$ reen and )'ea$ant 'and2

What a $"n %"r an Indian &hi'd I )re%erred the ("rd$ e+br"idered

"n +! %'a 1.e*a*i O&'#$2 0 I 'i%t #) +! e!e$

It (a$ a +"+ent"#$ +"+ent in +! 'i%e, bein h"+e aain a%ter t(" !ear$

"% e9i'e Ba&/ t" +! be'"*ed h"+e, -i'&hri$t -arden$, t" +! dear A!ah

and a'' the "ther$ -e"re, "#r dri*er, (h" t""/ reat &are "% #$, e$#da$an

the (ide e!ed )ainter, Ven/a$he$hiah the &'er/ (h" '""/ed a%ter "#r

a&&"#nt$ $" di'ient'! On the $hi) I %"#nd +!$e'% tra*e''in (ith $e*era'

&har+in A#$tra'ian tenni$ )'a!er$ and &ri&/eter$, in&'#din D"n Brad+an

The! (ere *er! %riend'! and I (a$ e9&ited (hen I beat Brad+an at tab'e

tenni$ Path! heard "% thi$ 'ater and i++ediate'! re)rinted it a$ 1bi

ne($2 in Chennai The head'ine read, 1The !"#n Mrina'ini beat$ D"n

Brad+an at Tab'e Tenni$2

MOTHER



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=

It (a$ A##$t and terrib'! h"t and $#'tr! in Chennai Whi'e it (a$

("nder%#' t" +eet e*er!"ne, I %e't +i$erab'e n"t /n"(in (hat t" d"(ith +!$e'% A tre+end"#$ re$t'e$$ne$$ $ei4ed +e At niht, #nder the

+"$?#it" net, I t"$$ed and t#rned %ee'in a'ien and #)r""ted The ("rd

1&"''ee2 &a+e #) M#++! (anted +e t" " t" O9%"rd B#t %"r +e, a''

ed#&ati"n had "n'! "ne tit'e and that (a$ dan&e

It (a$ rea''! *er! $trane that I had (anted t" dan&e e*er $in&e I

(a$ a &hi'd There (a$ ab$"'#te'! n" traditi"n "% dan&e "r +#$i& in "#r

%a+i'! In the beinnin, +! +"ther did n"t /n"( (here t" $end +e

She heard that there (a$ a 'ad! &a''ed ."#i$ .iht%""t (h" &"nd#&ted

dan&e &'a$$e$ and I (a$ $ent t" her She (a$ the )artner "% the ta'ented

8atha/a'i dan&er, Ananda Shi*ara+, and (e''5/n"(n in We$tern &ir&'e$B#t that (a$ n"t (hat I (anted and I %"#nd $"+e '"&a' tea&her$ "%

Bharatanat!a+ "n +! "(n S"+eh"( I /ne( that the tea&her (a$ n"t

riht %"r +e I had n" "ne t" #ide +e in +! &areer B#t I /ne( that

I (a$ a dan&erL M! +"ther &"#'d n"t #nder$tand +! %ier&e

deter+inati"n and 'i/e the re$t "% the %a+i'!, t""/ it a$ a )a$$in )ha$e

Re$t'e$$ and #nha))! I e*en th"#ht "% "in ba&/ t" E#r")e, b#t

(hat ("#'d I d" there@ The dan&e I (i$hed t" 'earn (a$ here M!

+"ther, n"t /n"(in (hat t" d", arraned %"r +e t" " t" the dan&e

a&ade+! 8a'a/$hetra t" $t#d! #nder R#/+inide*i Ar#nda'e (h"+ $he

/ne( (e'' R#/+inide*i (a$ *er! /ind and a$ $he (a$ dire&tin a ne(

)'a! a$/ed +e t" a&t in it It (a$Light of Asiaba$ed "n the 'i%e "% B#ddhaI (a$ t" be the ?#een Ma!a and a'$" the di$&i)'e S#3ata I ("r/ed %"r

a (hi'e in 8a'a/$hetra and be&a+e a reat ad+irer "% R#/+inide*i When

I $a( her )er%"r+an&e$, the ae$theti& *a'#e$ "% her )r"d#&ti"n$ a))ea'ed

t" +e reat'! Dr Ar#nda'e t"" t""/ an intere$t in +e )erha)$ be&a#$e

"% the 1En'i$hne$$2 (e $hared I (a$ %a+i'iar (ith )a$$ae$ that he '"*ed

t" ?#"te and (e $hared +an! 3"/e$ d#rin rehear$a'$

On&e, in the $&ene (here B#ddha $ee$ a d!in bird 6dan&ed b!

R#/+inide*i7 he re+ar/ed, 1I thin/ R#/+ini $h"#'d $ti&/ t" Bharatanat!a+

and n"t d" Pa*'"*a2$ D!in S(an a&t2

1B#t $he i$ a$ bea#ti%#' a$ a $(an,2 I re)'iedHe a'(a!$ $)"/e (ith ""d h#+"#r and I &"#'d $ee that he ad"red



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:

hi$ '"*e'! (i%e I a'(a!$ had the$e #ne9)e&ted ("nder%#' %riend$hi)$,

"%ten (ith +at#re +en (h" (ere )r"te&ti*e t"(ard$ +e Perha)$ I (a$$ee/in +! %ather

At 8a'a/$hetra in :< I $t#died (ith M#th#/#+ara Pi''ai "%

8ath#+annar 8"i' 1Thata2 a$ he (a$ &a''ed b! #$ a'', (a$ the "ne (h"

initiated +e int" the rea' traditi"n "% Bharatanat!a+ He (a$ e9tre+e'!

$tri&t F"r the %ir$t ti+e I bean t" %ee' I (a$ "n the riht )ath A

+ar*e''"#$ tea&her, he $""n ta#ht +e the ba$i& ?#a'itie$ "% hi$ te&hni?#e

and de'ihted in +! &a)a&it! %"r hard ("r/ .ater "n he &a+e and $ta!ed

(ith +e in +! h"+e We de*e'")ed a dee) atta&h+ent %"r ea&h "ther,

the #r# and the $t#dent

He t"'d +e that he %e't that I had a rare i%t (ithin +e and that he("#'d tea&h +e e*er!thin he /ne( Thi$ (a$ the beinnin "% +! rea'

trainin On'! I /ne(, and /e)t it $e&ret B#t /n"('ede i$ $#ret! and

I (a$ $#re that n"thin e'$e e9i$ted %"r +e The (i'd $ea "n the Chennai

bea&h dan&ed %"r +e, a$ did the &"&"n#t )a'+$ "% +! "(n arden,

rh!th+$ beat in the $"#nd "% (hi$)erin &a$#rina$, in the *ine "% the

"'d tree tied a&r"$$ the (e'', the dr"ne "% the +a'i$ a$ the! &'i+bed it

t" dra( (ater 0 a'' thi$ (a$ +! %ir$t +#$i& and be%"re +! b"d! %"#nd

it$ trained a&&"+)'i$h+ent it (a$ +! $"#' that dan&ed

S"+e +"nth$ 'ater, I (ent t" O"ta&a+#nd %"r the $#++er h"'ida!$(here I $ta!ed (ith Mr$ C"#$in$, M#++!2$ %riend %r"+ Ada!ar, a rare

and ("nder%#' h#+an bein It (a$ in O"t! that I %ir$t +et Vi/ra+

Sarabhai Vi/ra+ &a+e t" the tenni$ &"#rt$, (here I (a$ )'a!in tenni$,

(ith Ba'a")a', a $tar )'a!er (h" had ta/en +e #nder hi$ (in a$ I (a$

n"( ta/in tenni$ *er! $eri"#$'! I re+e+ber I (a$ (earin $h"rt$ and

%e't rather $h! "n bein addre$$ed b! thi$ e'eant'! dre$$ed, ""d5

'""/in !"#n +an It (a$ the %ir$t ti+e I had $een $"+e"ne (earin

a 1/#rta2 in the e'eant &hi//an ("r/ "% .#&/n"( T" +e, he '""/ed 'i/e

a Ra3)#t )aintin &"+e t" 'i%e He a$/ed +e t" " t" a %i'+ (ith hi+,

b#t I (a$ t"" $h! t" a&&e)t I (a$ $#rr"#nded b! ad+irer$ "% +! tenni$and (a$ b#$! (ith the t"#rna+ent$ I (a$ (innin +at&he$ (ith +!

MOTHER



44/294


)artner and (a$ ?#ite a her"ine in $"&ia' &ir&'e$, be&"+in /n"(n a$ a

""d tenni$ )'a!er Vi/ra+ $ee+ed *er! %ar a(a! %r"+ +! ("r'd A %e( da!$ 'ater, h"(e*er, I re&ei*ed a %"r+a' in*itati"n t" dinner

%r"+ Mr$ Sar'ade*i Sarabhai, hi$ +"ther, (h" had br"#ht a )re$ent %"r

+! birthda! %r"+ M#++! in Chennai I (a$ dee)'! i+)re$$ed b! the

%a+i'!, e$)e&ia''! the '"*in (a! the! beha*ed (ith ea&h "ther and a'$"

the %reed"+ that the !"#n )e")'e $ee+ed t" en3"!

Mr$ C"#$in$, a'(a!$ b#$! (ith he')in )e")'e, de&ided t" ha*e a

bene%it &"n&ert %"r "ne "% her n#+er"#$ &haritie$ She her$e'% (a$ a

ta'ented )iani$t and a$/ed +e t" dan&e a )ie&e I had 'earnt in S(it4er'and,

a -ree/ dan&e M#&h t" +! di$+a!, the entire Sarabhai &'an, in&'#din

a %"r+idab'e a#nt, (ere $eated n the %r"nt r"( M! -ree/ t#ni& (a$e9tre+e'! $h"rt and +! '"n 'e$ %e't *er! bare I dan&ed %"r (hat

$ee+ed an inter+inab'e ti+e a$ I (a$ the +ain attra&ti"n "% the e*enin

E*en n"( I $h#dder e*er! ti+e I hear Ch")in2$ Wa't4 in A F'at Min"r,

and &an $ti'' $ee the $"'e+n %a&e$ "% Vi/ra+ and hi$ %a+i'! in %r"nt "% +e

A %riend "% +ine %r"+ the YWCA in O"t!, $aid, 1Y"# (ere

+ar*e''"#$ 0 the (a! !"# %'itted ar"#nd 'i/e an ane' %"r h"#r$2 I (a$

$i'ent It2$ $"+ethin I ha*e ne*er 'i*ed d"(n

I &"n$"'ed +!$e'% thin/in that I ("#'d ne*er +eet the Sarabhai$,

(h" (ere "in ba&/ t" the n"rth, aain



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Shantini/etan

M UMMY HAD HEARD ABOUT R ABINDRANATH T A-ORE2S SCHOO. ATShantini/etan in Bena' %r"+ a %riend I (a$ $ti'' *er! #n&ertain "% +!$e'%,and e9&e)t %"r the Bharatanat!a+ &'a$$e$ %e't *er! #nha))! at h"+e The

(i$e$t de&i$i"n +! +"ther e*er +ade, I thin/, (a$ t" $end +e t"

Shantini/etan in :; A$ $he (a$ ri"#$ t" +eet Rabindranath Ta"re

her$e'% and t" $ee the %a+"#$ $&h""', $he a&&"+)anied +e Fr"+ 8"'/ata

the train (a$ *er! $'"(, $t"))in at e*er! $tati"n Fi*e h"#r$ 'ater, (e

arri*ed at the $+a'' $tati"n "% B"'e)#r, (here the red b#$ that I (a$ t"

/n"( $" (e'', t""/ #$ a'"n a d#$t! r"ad thr"#h %'at &"#ntr!, t"

Shantini/etan The ?#iet %ie'd$ and the %ar5$tret&hin )'ain (ere de$erted

in the +idda! heat The b#$ t""/ #$ t" the Tata B#i'din$ (here (e

$ta!ed I re+e+ber that t"(ard$ e*enin, the (h"'e )'a&e (a$ a'i*e (ith

r"#)$ "% 'a#hin &hi'dren and r"(n5#)$ (anderin thr"#h the

)ath(a!$ t" *ari"#$ b#i'din$

Shantini/etan, $tand$ "n a bare )'ain, a h#ndred +i'e$ %r"+ 8"'/ata

Ver! %e( )e")'e /n"( the $t"r! behind thi$ reat in$tit#ti"n The )"et2$

%ather, Mahar$hi Debendranath Ta"re, (a$ a $)irit#a' 'eader One da!

in the +id$t "% hi$ (anderin$, he &a+e a&r"$$ thi$ barren $)"t (hi&h

$" attra&ted hi+ that he &a+e ba&/ aain and aain %"r )ra!er and

+editati"n .ater he b"#ht the )'"t and b#i't a #e$t5h"#$e and te+)'e

(hi&h i$ $ti'' the heart "% the a$hra+ An!"ne &"#'d ("r$hi) there and

he &a''ed it 1The Ab"de "% Pea&e2 The tree #nder (hi&h the Mahar$hi#$ed t" $it $ti'' $tand$ (ith the ")en )'ain $tret&hin %ar "#t t"(ard$ the



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G

h"ri4"n Under it i$ a +arb'e $'ab in$&ribed (ith the ("rd$ "% the

Mahar$hi

1Here i$ the re)"$e "% +! 'i%e,

the 3"! "% +! heart,

the )ea&e "% +! $)irit2

T(" +i'e$ %r"+ Shantini/etan $tand$ the *i''ae "% Srini/etan Here

a )'an (a$ #n%"'ded t" brin ba&/ 'i%e in a'' it$ &"+)'etene$$ t" the

*i''ae$ The *i''aer$ (ere ta#ht t" be $e'%5re'iant and t" earn their "(n

'i*in, at the $a+e ti+e #)h"'din the traditi"n$ "% their Indian heritae

St#dent$ %r"+ Shantini/etan ta#ht there in their $)are ti+e The ("+en

"% the *i''ae$ 'earnt a'"n (ith the +en h"( t" be $e'%5$#))"rtin, h"(t" brin #) their &hi'dren and t" be hea'th! The! bean t" *a'#e their

"(n arti$ti& $/i''$ Their handi&ra%t$ (ere $ent t" 8"'/ata and t" "ther

t"(n$ in India t" be $"'d Th#$ the *i''aer$ he')ed the+$e'*e$ and their

neihb"#r$ thr"#h +#t#a' endea*"#r -#r#de*, (ith Shantini/etan a$

a +"de', rea'i4ed and rene(ed the *ita'it! "% India2$ 't#ra' heritae

F"r +e, it (a$ the idea' at+"$)here, $tee)ed in an&ient $t"+$ and

traditi"n$ "% 'earnin The *er! %ir$t e*enin, (e +et -#r#de* Ta"re2$

randda#hter, Nandita, '"*in'! &a''ed 1B#ridi2 and her &har+in h#$band,

8ri$hna 8ri)a'ani, edit"r "% the 1Vi$h(a Bharati2 3"#rna' The! (e'&"+ed

+e (ar+'! B#ridi, *i*a&i"#$ and "#t$)"/en, 8ri$hna ent'e and $&h"'ar'!,

be&a+e +! deare$t %riend$I had &"+e re'#&tant'! t" Shantini/etan, 'ea*in +! trainin in

Bharatanat!a+, b#t I %e't i++ediate'! that I be'"ned En&"#nter$ in 'i%e

that are +eanin%#' brin a $en$e "% ha))ine$$ "r $adne$$ (ith the+ Here

it (a$ )#re 3"!, n"t )er&e)tib'e, b#t a %ee'in "% re)"$e (ithin, an ")enin

"% an #n/n"(n d""r, a re*e'ati"n T" +e Shantini/etan (a$ a'' thi$

E*er! +"rnin at == a+, (hi'e the de( (a$ $ti'' %re$h "n the ra$$,

+! ne( &"+)ani"n$ %r"+ "#r h"$te', Sree Bha*an, and I ("#'d (a'/

ar"#nd the a$hra+, $inin the $"n$ t" reet the da(n, and t" (a/ethe )e")'e "% Vi$h(a Bharati The da(n in India ha$ a'(a!$ been a ti+e



47/294

%"r +editati"n, %"r the ne( da!, a &e'ebrati"n "% -"d2$ i%t$ t" #$ It (a$

thi$ e+)ha$i$ "n traditi"n in it$ %ine$t a$)e&t$ that dre( )e")'e t"

Shantini/etan, n"t "n'! %r"+ India b#t %r"+ a'' "*er the ("r'd

Rabindranath Ta"re (a$ in hi+$e'% a 'i*in 'eend, a reat )"et, an

i+ainati*e )ainter and %ine &"nn"i$$e#r "% +#$i& b#t, ab"*e a'', a h#+ani$t

&arin )r"%"#nd'! %"r the #ni*er$e It (a$ nat#ra' there%"re that t"Shantini/etan &a+e th"$e (h" $"#ht eterna' *a'#e$ in th"#ht, bea#t!

and e*er!da! 'i*in I $ta!ed in the ir'$2 h"$te', Shree Bha*an, (at&hed

"*er b! a &har+in Fren&h +atr"n, (h"+ (e &a''ed Didi A$ I $)"/e

Fren&h, (e "t "n *er! (e'' I (a$ &"ntent

In 3#$t t(" da!$, I (a$ a$/ed t" )r"*e +! ("rth -#r#de* (anted

t" $ee +e dan&e I had n" +#$i&, n" &"$t#+e$, and I (a$ *er! ner*"#$

-#r#de* Rabindranath Ta"re (a$ a na+e t" be he'd in a(e I (ent t"

+eet hi+ (ith Nandita and $t""d be%"re hi+ 0 thi$ reat +an "% (h"+

I had heard $" +#&h, (h"$e )"etr! had $tirred +! inner bein a$ n"

"ther had d"ne I (a$ %"rt#nate t" +eet hi+ thr"#h Nandita, %"r bet(een the+ (a$ +#&h '"*e and de*"ti"n and I t"" be&a+e a )art "%

SHANTINI8ETAN



48/294


>

that (h"'ene$$ It (a$ "n an e*enin at $#n$et ti+e (hen the $/! (a$

&"'"#red an e9tra"rdinar! reen and )in/, and the )'ain$ rea&hed "#tt"(ard$ a ne*er5endin h"ri4"n, that I (ent t" +eet the )"et The (ind

r#$t'ed ent'!, a $"%t $""thin +#$i& in the tree$ Standin in hi$ $i+)'e

+#d h#t, I t"#&hed hi$ %eet in re$)e&t

1I hear !"# are a dan&er,2 -#r#de* $aid t" +e 1T"+"rr"( I (ant t"

$ee !"# dan&e2 And $" (ith"#t an! +#$i&a' a&&"+)ani+ent, I dan&ed

a'' that I had 'earnt %r"+ M#th#/#+ara Pi''ai I )er%"r+ed in the bea#ti%#'

h"#$e 1Uttaran2 (hi&h -#r#de*2$ da#hter5in5'a(, Pr"ti+ade*i, had

de&"rated (ith e9?#i$ite ta$te She 'i*ed there (ith her h#$band,

Rathindranath, -#r#de*2$ $"n Fr"+ that +"+ent, I (a$ tr#'! b'e$$ed,

%"r -#r#de* a&&e)ted +e a$ "ne "% hi$ "(n He a*e +e a 'eadin r"'ein hi$ dra+aChandali%aand a$/ed +e t" &h"re"ra)h +! "(n )art It

(a$ the %ir$t ti+e that Bharatanat!a+ (a$ intr"d#&ed in -#r#de*2$ dan&e

dra+a$ and he a))re&iated the $t!'e *er! +#&h

Here (a$ a reat arti$t a$/in +e t" &h"re"ra)h dan&e$ It (a$ a$

th"#h $"+ethin dee) (ithin +e (a$ 'iberated and i*en the a#th"rit!

t" be a rea' $e'% It (a$ a +"+ent "% $#&h inten$e 3"! that the radian&e,

n"t "% hi$ ("rd$, b#t "% hi$ a&&e)tan&e "% +! indi*id#a'it!, $ti'' re+ain$

(ithin +! heart

In Shantini/etan I $t#died (ith a'' the #r#$ (h" ta#ht "ther %"r+$

"% dan&e 8e'# Nair en&hanted +e (ith the )"(er%#' te&hni?#e "%

8atha/a'i -#r# A+#bi Sinha, ta#ht +e the Mani)#ri %"r+ He (a$a %ine tea&her A$ I (a$ +"re intere$ted in the *i"r"#$ dan&in "%

Mani)#ri he ta#ht +e the +a$'ine a$)e&t$ "% it (ith it$ ("nder%#'

'ea)$ and (hir'in +"*e+ent$ At "ne "% the ann#a' %e$ti*a'$ I dan&ed

the r"'e "% 8ri$hna and $)"/e in Mani)#ri in %r"nt "% -#r#de* The

$)ee&h t" +e (a$ %ar +"re di%%i't than the dan&e and a&&"rdin t" +!

%riend, Ani' Saha, ?#ite in&"+)rehen$ib'e -#r#de* ("#'d )atient'!

e9)'ain the Bena'i ("rd$ "% hi$ dan&e dra+a$ and "%ten read "#t hi$

)"e+$ t" +e Bent (ith ae a$ he (a$, at rehear$a' ti+e, hi$ e!e$ ("#'d

'iht #) a$ he h#++ed a ne( +e'"d! and Santide* -h"$h, the +#$i&

dire&t"r, ("#'d )i&/ it #) at "n&e and tea&h it t" #$ Santida had a '"*e'!*"i&e (hi&h +ade the dan&e dra+a$ &"+e a'i*e Pr"ti+adi, (a$ *er!



49/294

<

+#&h in &hare "% the )r"d#&ti"n$ She de$ined "#r &"$t#+e$ (hi'e

Nand'a' B"$e 6Ma$ter Ma$ha!7 #$ed t" )aint "#r %a&e$ %"r ea&h

)er%"r+an&e t" +a/e the+ '""/ di%%erent N"(, $" +an! !ear$ 'ater,'""/in ba&/, I ("nder ab"#t the +ai& "% thi$ 1Ab"de "% Pea&e2 Wa$

it the Mahar$hi (h", thr"#h hi$ +editati"n, b'e$$ed that )ie&e "% 'and@

Or (a$ it -#r#de* Rabindranath Ta"re (h" ("*e a $)e'' (ith hi$

$)irit#a' )"e+$ and hi$ h#+ani$ti& ide"'"!@ Or the +en and ("+en

(h" athered there t" tea&h the hihe$t idea'$ "% tr#th@ There (a$ a

$!nthe$i$ "% dedi&ati"n that &"ntrib#ted t" the har+"n! "% the )'a&e and

(e $t#dent$ (ere $(e)t #) int" it$ '"ri"#$ 'and$&a)e It (a$ a 3"! t"

)arti&i)ate in the dan&e dra+a$ F"r +e, the en&hant+ent &a+e a'i*e

ea&h ti+e -#r#de* $aid, 1Here i$ the +#$i& Thi$ i$ the $t"r! Dan&e it

a$ !"# (i$h2 I %e't $" e'ated, $" %ree t" e9)re$$ +!$e'% Findin ne( %"r+$

%r"+ traditi"na' te&hni?#e$ (a$ +! need and it (a$ -#r#de* (h" %ir$t

SHANTINI8ETAN

Ra3e$h(ari, Mrina'ini, A+ina, S"+a and 8a+a'a



50/294


;

#nder$t""d and en&"#raed thi$ &reati*e #re On&e he thre( "%% hi$

$ha(' and (ith it, hi$ !ear$, and $t""d #), a !"#n +an "% *i"#r, t"$h"( $"+e"ne an e9)re$$i*e e$t#re We $a( hi+, in th"$e +ai&

+"+ent$, a$ he +#$t ha*e been (hen he a&ted "n the $tae in hi$ "(n

)'a!$ Man! (ere the h"#r$ I $)ent at hi$ %eet in hi$ $+a'' +#d h#t

1Sh!a+a'i2 "% (hi&h he $aid 1I ha*e b#i't it "n that d#$t (hi&h b#rie$

in it a'' $#%%erin$ and &'ean$e$ a'' $tain$2

Fr"+ -#r#de*, I 'earnt the bea#t! "% Bena'i One e*enin a %e(

"% #$ $at t"ether "#t$ide hi$ 'itt'e +#d h"#$e, #nder a Cha+)a/a tree,

#$ $t#dent$ "n the (ar+ earth $tre(n (ith (hite )eta'$, he "n an "'d

&hair ("rn int" &"+%"rtab'e an'e$ The %raran&e "% the te+)'e %'"(er

&ha+)a/a (a$ $tr"n and the $i'en&e ar"#nd -#r#de* (a$ )"nder"#$(ith #n$)"/en th"#ht$ The$e are the +"+ent$ "ne (i$he$ &"#'d "

"n %"r e*er, (hen the +ind i$ a'ert and !et &a'+ I thin/ it (a$ +! %riend

A+ina (h" $aid, 1-#r#de*, !"# )r"+i$ed t" read #$ $"+e )"e+$2 The

)"et $+i'ed, hi$ e!e$, t(in/'in, a$ he '""/ed at #$ 1What $ha'' it be@2

he a$/ed, and I, $t#+b'in in +! eaerne$$, $aid 1Fr"+The &ardener ,

)'ea$e2 Then he 'a#hed, 1Ye$ !"# are !"#n,The &ardener i$ %"r !"#2

I br"#ht hi+ the b""/ A$ the !ear$ ha*e )a$$ed, hi$ *"i&e and the 'ine$

%r"+ "ne "% the )"e+$ ha*e ne*er 'e%t +! +ind In +"+ent$ "% t#rb#'en&e,

in $"rr"(, in 3"!, I hear -#r#de* readin

1Thi$ '"*e bet(een !"# and +e i$ a$ $i+)'e a$ a $"nK n" +!$ter!be!"nd the )re$ent, n" $tri*in %"r the i+)"$$ib'e, n" $had"(

behind the &har+K n" r")in in the de)th "% the dar/K thi$ '"*e

bet(een !"# and +e i$ a$ $i+)'e a$ a $"n2

S#re'! the '"*e bet(een 'i%e and "#r$e'*e$ i$ a$ $i+)'e a$ a $"n, and

h"( $""n (e be&"+e %"ret%#' It i$ the heartrendin )#rit! "% the $i+)'e

thin$ that +a/e$ 'i%e +eanin%#' A %e( dr")$ "% rain "n the )ar&hed

&r#$t "% earth and the %raran&e in the heart "% a 3a$+ine A +ira&'e "%

&"'"#r$ a&r"$$ the $/! in a rainb"(, a &hi'd2$ 'a#hter, a di$tant %'#te, and

the beat "% dr#+$ at niht

I (i$h (e &"#'d %ee' the bea#t! "% the &"'"#r$ and $hade$ "% 'i%e,and n"t a'(a!$ e+)ha$i4e it$ de$tr#&ti*e $ide Dar/ne$$ and 'iht, $"



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(r"n'! a$$"&iated (ith ""d and e*i', di$t"rt the bea#t! "% &"'"#r$ In

"#r &ent#r!, (hat a terrib'e indi&t+ent "% a $"5&a''ed &i*i'i4ed ("r'd thatt" )r"te&t a reat ra&e, the $'"an 1B'a&/ i$ bea#ti%#'2 had t" be &"ined

H"( trai& that (hite )"rtra!$ &"'"nia' &r#e't! Yet the &"'"#r$ "% nat#re

are the reate$t in$)irati"n Wa$ it a dee) $#b&"n$&i"#$ de$ire t" be (ith

+! %ather that I &heri$hed the &"'"#r reen $" +#&h@ He (r"te in reen

in/ and I $ti'' )re%er t" d" $" 1-reen,2 I $aid, a$ a &hi'd, 1i$ +! %a*"#rite

&"'"#r, be&a#$e -"d '"*ed it the +"$t,2 and thr"#h a'' the$e !ear$ it

ha$ re+ained $"

-#rdia' Ma''i/, (ith (h"+ I $)ent +an! h"#r$, be&a+e +! $)irit#a'

#r# and the dee) $ear&h (ithin +e (a$ $"+ethin I &"#'d arti'ate

in hi$ )re$en&e .i$tenin t" hi$ $"n$, $" )a$$i"nate (ith hi$ '"*e %"r -"d, I %e't a tre+end"#$ $#re "% '"nin Man! !ear$ 'ater (hen +!

$"n, 8arti/e!a, $aid t" +e, 1Ma''i/3i, i$ the "n'! rea''! re'ii"#$ +an I ha*e

+et,2 I /ne( (hat he +eant On&e I )re$ented Ma''i/

mrinalini sarabhai - the voice of heart

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