murphys laws of law enforcement your squad car will only break down when you happen to be outside of...
TRANSCRIPT
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Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
Your squad car will only break down when
you happen to be outside of your beat.
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Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
The ease of service of any search warrant varies
directly with the likelihood that you are in
the wrong house.
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Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
Waterproof boots aren't.
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Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
Freebies will arrive at the station only on your day off.
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Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
The coffee machine breaks down only on
graveyard shift.
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Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
Court will be scheduled in the
middle of your days off.
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Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
Pens never leak onto old uniform
shirts.
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Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
Hot calls will only come over the air 10 minutes before the
end of shift.
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Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
New uniform shirts and ties attract
gravy and ketchup.
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Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
Perfect 10s show up to talk only when
you're busy.
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Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
You will find a “Police Discount”
one day before payday.
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Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
Bulletproof vests might be.
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Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
Shatterproof flashlights seldom
are.
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Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
The experience of your Assistant District Attorney is inversely proportional to the importance of your case
he is prosecuting.
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Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
On any day that you are filmed by a news crew, you will forget
your hat.
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Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
You never get the urge to use the bathroom
until after you have left the station.
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Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
You will remain in perfect health until
your days off.
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Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
Your portable radio will never fail until
you are involved in a foot pursuit.
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Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
Surprise inspections occur only after a
foot pursuit through the slough.
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Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
Glow-in-the-dark gun sights are just as visible to crooks hiding behind you as they are to you.
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Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
Vehicle pursuits always progress from areas of
low traffic density to areas of high traffic
density.
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Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
The Mayor will get a parking ticket only when
it is time to negotiate police salary increases.
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Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
Your only pen will run out of ink exactly at the
moment you decide to write traffic violators.
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Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
No patrol car assigned to you will be clean or have a full tank of gas.
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Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
Zippered boots break only when there are
less than three minutes until roll call.
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Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
White socks make boot zippers break.
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Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
NCIC will be down any time you see a
car listed on the hot sheet.
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Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
Coffee jitters will never plague you
until firearms qualification day.
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Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
Old squad cars never die - they just
smell that way.
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Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
Flashlight batteries never die in daylight
hours.
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Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
You will never get a bomb call until the squad is away on a training exercise.
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Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
The only time John Q. Public
wants a friendly chat is when you sit
down to eat.
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Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
Your mouthiest traffic violator of the day will be related to
the Sheriff.
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Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
Word processors only delete reports
that are nearly finished.
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Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
You will score no higher than fourth on a three-vacancy promotional exam.
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Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
Your bulletproof vest was supplied
by the lowest bidder.
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Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
You will receive a subpoena in a major felony case for
the first day of your paid-for, non-refundable vacation.
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Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
If the crooks are within pistol range,
so are you.
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Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
The bigger they are, the harder they fall. Also the
harder they punch, kick, and choke.
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Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
The speed at which you respond to a fight in progress is inversely
proportional to how long you have been a cop.
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Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
If you know someone who tortures small animals and wets the bed, he is either a serial rapist or he works in
Internal Affairs.
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Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
Placing a gun back in a shoulder holster with your
finger on the trigger will produce a semi-permanent
limp.
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Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
In a physical confrontation involving more than one officer, any police impact weapon used will strike
more cops than bad guys.
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Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
Any citizen observing an approaching police vehicle
with emergency lights showing will immediately pull into the
traffic lane needed by the officer.
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Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
Never search a dark warehouse with an officer
whose nickname is “Boom-Boom.”
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Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
Every citizen, upon learning that you are a cop, will tell you a traffic stop story that he is certain you have never
heard before.
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Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
Do unto others, but do it first.
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Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
Eat Right.Exercise Often.Die Anyway.