musings at 62. 11th april 2014

8/12/2019 Musings at 62. 11th April 2014

1/9

Iusmlas et 87

Kr. Frmsnlede E.P.

55tnEprmb 705;


2/9


3/9

M jeio tc Gcigey ebicst ;0 yoers eac, tc pursuo nmanor stukmos, lct flcwmla tnet iy huturo

wcubk bmo noro. Mt iust nevo gool e kmhhmjubt kojmsmcl hcr iy perolts. Bccfmla gejf, M ekimro

tnoi hcr ebbcwmla us tc iefo cur jncmjos, stelkmla gy us, olegbmla us tc roejn wnoro wo ero

tckey. M ei suro tnomr mlvmsmgbo prosoljo nek sool us tnrcuan ebb tno ups elk kcwls ch cur

bmvos.

Iy grctnor Elelk grcuant io tc Gcigey. Mt wes iy hmrst bcla kmsteljo dcurloy goyclk tno

Xmlknyes. Iy hmrst miprossmcls ch Gcigey woro lct vory hevcuregbo4 Wcws elk rcws ch

ietjngcx-bmfo ncusos ml kmbepmketok jcljroto gumbkmlas, wmtn jbctnos nula cut hcr krymla ml

tno abero ch tno ehtorlccl sul, wes wnet M sew es tno treml boht Febyel cl mts dcurloy tcwerks

X[, cl tnet key ml Lcvoigor 5=1:. Mt kmk sciotnmla tc iy psyjno. M tncuant M wes oltormla e

jcljroto dulabo. M hobt el cvorwnobimla sekloss olaubh io, tno hoobmla turlmla icro mltolso es

iy hortmbo mieamletmcl trmok tc vmsuebmzo tno bmvos bmvok ml tncso ncusos. Zc tno hmrst tnmla M kmk

wes jry, wnol wo hmlebby roejnok iy uljbos ncio. [nus goael iy bmho ml Gcigey.

[ckey, Iuigem ms ncio. M bcvo tnms vmgrelt, ieamjeb jmty, elk wcubk retnor bmvo ml Iuigem

tnel elywnoro obso. [no elclyimty tnms jmty chhors elk et tno seio tmio, tno jcihcrtmla

weritn wmtn wnmjn mt oigrejos ycu mltc mts hcbk looks tc go oxpormoljok tc go gobmovok.

Jnrmstcpnor Oerbo semk tnet tmio arelts e ulmquo porspojtmvo, wnmjn ebbcws us tc soo ovolts

tnrcuan e hmbtor ch ejjuiubeto wmskci. Es M bccf gejf cl tno imbostclos ch iy dcurloy,

nerfmla gejf tc iy oerby keys ml Gcigey, Mvo dcttok kcwl e how tncuants tncso M ncbk koer

elk tncso tnet nevo nek e aroet smalmhmjeljo ml iy bmho.


4/9

Mvo chtol noerk pocpbo sey tnet gbcck robetmcls ero tno icst mipcrtelt. [nms ms clby pertby

truo. [noy cvorbccf tnet tno hulkeiolteb ulmt ch scjmoty tno heimby ms hcriok gy twc

pocpbo wnc ero usuebby lct robetok. [nets wnoro tno gbcck robetmcls, wnmjn wo oubcamzo sc

iujn, crmamleto hrci.

*****

Jnelao ms tno clby porielolt tnmla ml bmho. [ncso wnc jel ekept, survmvo. Bmfo e gbeko ch

aress, tno mloxneustmgbo hboxmgmbmty tc golk erculk cgstejbos ml cur petn tefos us enoek. Zbcwby,

tno roebmzetmcl stops ml tnet jcltemlok wmtnml ovory bcss, ms tno pctoltmeb hcr sciotnmla low.

Bmho jcltmluos tc toejn io tc ekept tc jnelamla smtuetmcls elk tno jnelamla gonevmcur ch

pocpbo. [no yoers nevo kohmlmtoby iobbcwok io4 Lcw M try tc porjomvo tno nuicrcus elabo ml

ulpboeselt smtuetmcls, elk nevo boerlt tc tefo tnmlas ml iy strmko. [no ruko flcjfs ch bmho

ieko io kovobcp el mllor jebi, elk (tc qucto Csnc) iefmla e jobogretmcl ch tno iulkelo.

*****

Mvo boerlt tnet robetmclsnmps ero tno icst mipcrtelt tnmla ml bmho. [no icst mipcrtelt eicla

tnoso ms tno robetmclsnmp ycu nevo wmtn ycursobh. [nms ml turl kohmlos ebb ycur mltorejtmcls elk

robetmclsnmps wmtn ctnors. [no mkoe tnet wo ero sobh-robmelt ms e iytn. Qo ero jcllojtok et

ovory bovob.

Hrmolks oxmst et kmhhorolt bovobs, scio mltmieto, ctnors ioroby ejquemlteljos. Qo ero gculk ml

e relao ch robetmclsnmps tnet spel tnoso twc olks ch tno spojtrui. Gut weri hrmolksnmps elk

ioelmlahub robetmclsnmps kclt dust sprmla up. [noy nevo tc go jubtmvetok elk lurturok tc go


5/9

bcla-bestmla. E hoobmla ch ehhojtmcl elk rospojt ero ossoltmeb tc susteml e aolumlo hrmolksnmp.

]cu look tc mlvost tmio tc lurturo hrmolksnmps elk robetmclsnmps. Ctnorwmso, bmfo e sookbmla

pbeltok, gut lct wetorok, tnoy wmbb wmbt elk wmtnor ewey.

[no gost amht clo nuiel gomla jel amvo elctnor ms tmio. Wobetmclsnmps tefo gctn tmio elk

ohhcrt. Qnol ycu hmlk tmio hcr scioclo, ycu ero amvmla tnoi e sbmjo ch ycur bmho, wnmjn ycu

wmbb lovor aot gejf, elk noljo mt ms projmcus goyclk ioesuro. ]cu jel iefo icro icloy, gut

tmio ebbcttok tc oejn clo ch us ms hmxok.

Ovol ml tno imkst ch jcipobbmla prchossmcleb koielks, lurturmla robetmclsnmps nes gool clo

ch iy prmcrmtmos. M tnmlf M kmk sujjook, ovol mh mt wes e tmantrcpo webf et tmios. M nevo fopt ml

tcujn wmtn hrmolks wnc Mvo flcwl hcr :0-;0 yoers, ml iely mlsteljos, wmtncut nevmla iot ml

porscl hcr sovoreb yoers et e strotjn.

*****

Icvmla cl tc bcvo elk ierrmeao, M tnmlf tnet mts lct egcut ycu. Mts egcut tno porscl ycu bcvo

tnomr welts, looks, ncpos elk kroeis. [nms iey go e gmt ulpebetegbo. Ierrmeao, tno

koielks elk prossuros ch bmho et tmios soo bcvo hby cut ch tno wmlkcw. Mh ycu nevo ovor

oxpormoljok truo bcvo elk ierrmeao, tnol ycubb flcw tno trutn ch tnoso wcrks4 Bcvo bmfo reml,

jel lcurmsn hrci egcvo, kroljnmla jcupbos wmtn e scefmla dcy. Gut sciotmios ulkor tno

elary noet ch bmho, bcvo krmos cl tno surhejo elk iust lcurmsn hrci gobcw, tolkmla tc mts rccts,

foopmla mtsobh ebmvo. Xebumla heimby ms el mipcrtelt pert ch bcvo elk ierrmeao. Clo ch tno gost


6/9

tnmlas ycu jel amvo ycur jnmbkrol ms e heimby hmbbok wmtn bcvo, jero, elk dcy, sc tnet tnoy boerl tc

kovobcp tncso vebuos elk ettrmgutos ml tnomr bmvos betor.

*****

Prejtmso hcramvoloss hcr ycur cwl sefo. M boerlt mt tno nerk wey. Mt tccf tmio elk porsmstolt

ohhcrt tc aot rmk ch tno elaor, gmttorloss elk rosoltiolt tcwerks pocpbo wnc nek gool uldust

tc io. Gut M kojmkok tc icvo cl wmtn iy bmho, tc sot iysobh hroo. Jortemlby hcramvoloss ms e

dcurloy, e jcltmlucus prcjoss tnet tefos tmio, kotorimletmcl, elk porsmstoljo.

M wes hcrjok tc koeb wmtn tnms mssuo et e tmio wnol wo woro lct amvol wnet wes rmanthubby curs. M

wes elary, gmttor, elk rosolthub. Qnet hmlebby grcuant egcut e jnelao ml io wes roekmla e

soltoljo tnet semk Qny kc ycu amvo rolt-hroo ejjciicketmcl ml ycur imlk tc tncso wncvo

upsot ycu3 M kojmkok tc tnrcw cut tno tolelts wnck tefol up rosmkoljo ml iy imlk, gea

elk geaaeao. M hrook iysobh. Qmtn mt jeio tno roebmzetmcl tnet hcramvoloss ms sciotnmla ycu kc

hcr ycursobh. Mt ms tno clo amht ycu kclt amvo tc ctnors6 mts e amht ycu amvo ycursobh sc ycu jel go

hroo.

*****

Bmvo bmho wmtn aretmtuko elk arejo. Iy bmho nes nek mts snero ch ups elk kcwls, et tmios mts gool

e roeb rcbbor-jcestor rmko. M kc lct tefo elytnmla hcr areltok. M ei el mljuregbo cptmimst4 Bmfo e

ruggor gebb, wnmjn, lc iettor ncw nerk mt ms nmt, ebweys gculjos gejf. M ei tnelfhub hcr tno

amht ch bmho, aretohub hcr ebb tno acck ml iy bmho elk arejmcusby ejflcwbokao ebb tno siebb elk gma


7/9

gbossmlas ml iy bmho. Aretmtuko roimlks us wo ero ebb pert ch ulmvorso elk ero jcllojtok. [ry tc

nevo el ettmtuko ch kotejniolt, gut go aretohub hcr ovorytnmla.

Mlstoek ch hcjusmla cl wnet ycu kclt nevo, go aretohub hcr tno eiezmla amhts ycu kc nevo4 Ch

bcvok clos, smipbo pboesuros, ch noebtn, smant, tno amht ch iusmj, gccfs, ch leturo elk goeuty,

tno egmbmty tc jroeto, elk ovorytnmla ml gotwool. Go aretohub ovory key. [noro ero how dcys tnet

oqueb e acck gccf, e acck ioeb, e acck webf, e acck nua, cr e acck hrmolk elk iely ch

tnoso ero hroo. Boek e dcycus bmho.

*****

"Kmvorsmhmjetmcl ms tno essot tc e dcycus elk gbossok bmho." Jroetmvmty nobps us tc oxpormoljo tno

ieamjeb elk pbeyhub smko ch bmho. Mt bots us oxpbcro cur pessmcls elk oxpross cursobvos

ertmstmjebby. Iy jroetmvo pessmcl hmlks volt ml jccfmla, aerkolmla elk how ctnors. Jccfmla jel

go es jroetmvo es smlamla, keljmla cr pemltmla. Hcr io, jccfmla ms jroetmvo, ekvolturcus,

robexmla elk iokmtetmvo, ebicst Tol bmfo. [olkmla tc iy pbelts hmbbs io wmtn e solso ch kobmant

elk setmshejtmcl. Mt amvos io miiolso pboesuro tc soo e tolkor boeh cr e guk.

*****

Boerl tc oipetnmzo. Qo chtol dukao pocpbo gesok cl tno bmttbo mlhcrietmcl evembegbo tc us.

[ry tc stert wmtn tno essuiptmcl tnet wnet ctnors kc nes e vebmk roescl. Qo iust put

cursobvos ml tnomr sncos, try tc ulkorstelk wnet tnoy kc mlstoek. Qo nevo egscbutoby lc mkoe

wnet tnoyro acmla tnrcuan. Bmho gojcios iujn gottor mh wo boerl tc jubtmveto tnms ert.

*****


8/9

Znmht aoers. Zbcw kcwl. Zmipbmhy ycur bmho. Flcw ycur prmcrmtmos. Hcjus cl wnet ycu bcvo tc

kc. Kc mt bcvmlaby. Icst pocpbo try tc tefo cl icro tnel tnoy jel jnow. Kc lct iefo bmho e

jebolker ch jnojfbmsts. Kc boss. Ztcp gomla e iejnmlo, boerl tc go nuiel elk boerl tc bmvo tnms

iciolt.

*****

Go fmlk wnolovor pcssmgbo. E aroet koeb ch strolatn ms lookok tc go aoltbo elk fmlk.

Zciotmios mt ms gottor tc bmstol tc tno noert tnel el mltobbmaolt imlk tnet spoefs.

Ejjopt wnet ms, bot ac ch wnet wes elk nevo hemtn ml wnet jcubk go. Bmho nes stmbb icro

bosscls elk surprmsos hcr io. Mi bccfmla hcrwerk tc tnoi ebb. Ncpo tno gost ms yot tc jcio.

*****

Bmstol tc ycur mllor vcmjo. [noro wmbb go e how tmios ml ycur bmho wnol ebb ycur mlstmljts wmbb

tobb ycu tc kc sciotnmla, sciotnmla tnet kohmos bcamj, upsots ycur pbels, elk iey sooi jrezy

tc ctnors. Qnol tnet neppols, kc mt. Bmstol tc ycur mlstmljts elk malcro ovorytnmla obso.

Malcro bcamj, malcro tno ckks, malcro tno jcipbmjetmcls, elk dust ac hcr mt. M kmk dust tnet

iely tmios. Ml ebb tno jrujmeb duljturos ch iy bmho, M hcbbcwok iy mltumtmcl elk nevo lovor

roarottok mt.

*****

M nek e ulmquo amht hrci tno _lmvorso cl iy 80tn gmrtnkey. Iy heimby elk M nek e wclkorhub

tmio et tno [roo Ncuso Woscrt, el ncurs krmvo hrci Dempur. Mt wes e sorolo, busn pbejo, wmtn


9/9

jctteaos gumbt erculk ejtueb bmvo fmfertroos. Betor, cl soomla tno pnctcs hrci cur vejetmcl, e

hrmolk wrcto tc io, ]cu ero bujfy, ospojmebby gojeuso ycu ero neppy wmtn wnet ycu nevo elk

lct sek egcut wnet ycu imss.

Hmlebby, Bmho ms wnet wo iefo mt, ebweys nes gool, ebweys wmbb go.

musings at 62. 11th april 2014

Documents