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mutiny
a short scene for SSATB chorus
pianist & guest conductor
Brian McWhorter
mutinya short scene for choir, pianist, & guest conductorby Brian McWhorter
Cast of CharactersSSATB ChorusPianistGuest Conductor
SceneThe Concert
SETTING: The Chorus and Pianist are on stage - the Guest Conductor enters, recognizes the choir, bows - mentions to the audience that this is the first time s/he has conducted a choir - but how nice it has been to work with these fabulous singers. Chorus is glaring, not smiling.
[GC gives a dramatic, but flailing cue of sorts - Chorus is silent, unblinkingly & blankly]
[GC gives another ludicrous cue - Chorus audibly sighs]
[GC tries again, and in the middle of this cue…]
CHORUS (decidedly, each voice is very aggressive even if out-of-sync)just give us a downbeat!
[GC, surprised, accidentally throws baton]
SOLO BASShe’s been doing this all week!
CHORUS (pointedly)what.a.joke!
SOLO TENOR (stating the obvious)he can’t conduct
CHORUS (to GC, if not pointing)you can’t conduct!
[GC, goes to pick up baton as if to try again]
CHORUSand who uses a baton to conduct a choir? [chorus grumbles things to itself slightly under breath and ad lib - ‘seriously, this is insane, what a jerk.’]
SOLO ALTO (to GC with a hint of an encouraging tone)now just…try again…we’ll walk you through it
[GC, shamefully prepares, lifting arms]
[CHORUS stares at GC’s prep; they’ve never seen anyone this bad]
SOLO SOPRANO (rolling eyes)don't cup your hands
SOLO TENOR (shouting)and close your mouth
SOLO BASSyour fly is open!
CHORUS (quickly)made you look!
[CHORUS laughs, enjoying their moment, then a sudden stop, as they sternly hone in on GC]
SOLO SOPRANO (instructively)ok, when we do this [demonstrates high lip flap] you do this [demonstrates]:got it? let’s try it.
[CHORUS demonstrates high lip flap with and GC imitates]
TENORS & BASSESnow try this [low to high gliss on ‘oo’ with rising hands signal]
[GC follows along, almost unable to do otherwise]
SOPRANOS & ALTOSand this…[single lip pop with punctuating hand gesture]
[GC, again, follows the sound and henceforth shall be controlled by the choir; their sounds make him 'conduct']
CHORUSfrom the top!
°
¢
°
¢
GC
S1.
S2.
A.
T.
B.
Con moto
A
7
ee - ee -
ee - ee -
oo oo
oo oo
Con moto
A
/ ∑
33
/ ∑
/
yep
/
this
solo
shouldbe fun
tutti, nasal
wah ka- wah ka- wah ka- ha ma na- ha ma na
3
3 3
/ ∑ ∑ ∑
/ ∑ ∑ ∑
&
PNO
for rehearsal purposes only, i think
..
..
..
..
?
e
ee e
e
e e e e e e
e
ee e
eŒ
e e e e e e
Ó
Œ
œ
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œ
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œ
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œ
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Ó
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œ œ œ œ
j
‰Œ
Ó ¿
Œ Œœ œ œ œ œ œ
Ó ¿
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œ
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œ
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3
°
¢
°
¢
GC
S1.
S2.
A.
T.
B.
12
ee -
ee -
oo ee -
oooo
/
solo pant
/ ∑
wa CHA
>
CHA
>
bla bla bla CHA
>
toc tic
.
toc
. .
/ ∑
wa CHA
>
CHA
>
bla bla bla CHA
>
GRR tic toc tic toc
. . . .
/ ∑ ∑
wa CHA
>
HUH
^
CHA
>
toc tic
.
toc
. .
/
GRR
∑
waCHA
>
HUH
^
CHA
>
GRRtic toc tic toc
. . . .
/
GRR
∑
wa CHA
>
CHA
>
HUH
^
CHA
>
toc tic
.
toc
.
.
&
PNO
..
..
∑ ∑
..
..
..
?
∑ ∑
E
ææ
E e
e
ee
ææ
e eeeeeeee % e
e
e ee
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e ee
ee e e e
e
J
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ee
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‚
w œ
j
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4
°
¢
°
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GC
S1.
S2.
A.
T.
B.
19
ee - ee - ee -
ee - ee - ee -
ee - ee - ee -
oo oo oo
oo oo oo
/
CHA
>
spin
puke,fall
/
CHA
>
p
ff
Læ
tongue flap on upper lip
-
[wretch]
√
/
CHA
>
p
ff
Læ
tongue flap on upper lip
-
[wretch]
√
/
CHA
>
p
ff
Læ
tongue flap on upper lip
-
[wretch]
√
/
p
ff
Læ
tongue flap on upper lip
-
[wretch]
√
/
p
ff
Læ
tongue flap on upper lip
-
[solo: bring GC a bucket] [wretch]
√
&
PNO
..
..
?
e
J
‰
e
e
e
ee
e
e
ee
e
e
e
Œ
e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e E
û
œ
j
‰Œ
œ
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œ
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œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ ˙
û
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5
°
¢
°
¢
GC
S.
S.
A.
T.
B.
sincerely q=90
B
23
p boo hoo
p
boo hoo
p boo hoo
p
boo hoo
p
boo hoo
p
sincerely q=90
B
/
[on cue, rises & faces chorus, moves with singing]
∑
√
[GC is pleasantly surprised]
&
CHORUS motions
for a note from
piano
CHORUS motions
for GC to RISE
∑ ∑
√
&
CHORUS motions
for a note from
piano
CHORUS motions
for GC to RISE
∑
√
&
CHORUS motions
for a note from
piano
CHORUS motions
for GC to RISE
∑
√
∑
&
‹
CHORUS motions
for a note from
piano
CHORUS motions
for GC to RISE
∑
√
?
CHORUS motions
for a note from
piano
CHORUS motions
for GC to RISE
∑ ∑
√
&
PNO
∑ ∑
√
?
∑ ∑ ∑
√
V
Œ Ó
V
Œ Ó
ww w
V
Œ Ó
V
Œ Ó Ó
˙ w
Ó
˙b w
V
Œ Ó
V
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w w w
V
Œ Ó
V
Œ Ó Ó Œœ w
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˙ ™ w
VŒ Ó
VŒ Ó Œ
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œ w
Ó
œ
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w˙
ww
ww
˙bww
w
b
Ó Œ
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Ó
Œ ˙™
Œ œ w
w
6
°
¢
°
¢
GC
S.
S.
A.
T.
B.
30
You
sweetly
are the worst conductor thatwe've ever seen you thot you'dtryit how hard could it possibly be? and it is
You
sweetly
are the worst conductor thatwe've ever seen you thot you'dtryit how hard could it possibly be? and it is
You
sweetly
are the worst conductor thatwe've ever seen you thot you'dtryit how hard could it possibly be? uh huh
You
sweetly
are the worst conductor thatwe've ever seen you thot you'dtryit how hard could it possibly be? uh huh
You
sweetly
are the worst conductor thatwe've ever seen you thot you'dtryit how hard could it possibly be?
/ ∑
[GC continues conducting in 4, progressively deflated]
&
U 3
&
U 3
&
U 3
&
‹
U
3
?
U3
&
PNO
U 3
?
U
3
Ó ‰
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j
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7
°
¢
°
¢
GC
S.
S.
A.
T.
B.
35
true that con duct- ing- does n't- take that much you just don't have what it takes, you suck
true that con duct- ing- does n't- take that much you just don't have what it takes, you suck
that con duct- ing- does n't- take that much you just don't have what it takes, you su uck-
that con duct- ing- does n't- take that much you just don't have what it takes, you suck
that con duct- ing- does n't- take that much you just don't have what it takes, you suck
/
&
U
&
U
&
U
&
‹
U
?
U
&
PNO
U
?
U
œ
j
‰
œ
œ
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œ
j
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‰œ
J
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j ‰
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j‰
w
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j
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j ‰
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w
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j ‰
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j ‰
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w
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8
°
¢
°
¢
™™
™™
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™™
™™
™™
™™
™™
™™
™™
™™
™™
GC
S.
S.
A.
T.
B.
C
39
hm...
testimonially
hm...
testimonially
hm...
testimonially
hm...
testimonially
hm...
testimonially
pedestrianlyC
/
[during the humming, three people come forward
with testimonials - speaking loudly and
addressing GC as needed]
&
#1 - when i auditioned, you said i wasn't nearly good
enough to sing for your choir. but then i just showed up
anyway and you didn't recognize me...you said that I was
so much better than Samantha. Guess what..I'm Samantha.
&
&
#2 - you cue me wrong EVERY single time - then you
yell at me for not counting? you know what? you're
a piece of SH
&
‹
[choir should censor the bad word by
'beeping' it out - should be done
loudly and as if it's just part of
the gig, then the humming should
resume]
BEEP!
?
#3 - you don't know anything about choral conducting.
you can't start a piece, you never learn the music,
and you can't even end a piece without fu
up. we're sick of your sh we're here for
the music; and you're obviously just here for the
money. so we started a collection: here's a dollar,
now please go away.
BEEP
BEEP
&
PNO
?
˙˙
˙˙
˙
˙˙b
˙
˙
˙
˙b˙
˙
˙
˙ ™œ
˙
˙˙b
˙
Œ
œ
œœœ
œ
œœb
œ
œ
œb
Ó
œ
œ
Œ Ó Ó
œ
œœb
œ
9
°
¢
°
¢
GC
S.
S.
A.
T.
B.
some how..-
42
just go a way- you just
just go a way- you just
just go a way- you just
just go a way- you just
just go a way- you just
p
°
2
4
4
4
2
4
4
4
2
4
4
4
2
4
4
4
2
4
4
4
2
4
4
4
2
4
4
4
2
4
4
4
/ ∑
√
[turns to face audience]
∑ ∑
U
'sing'
&
∑
√
∑ ∑
&
∑
√
∑ ∑
&
∑
√
∑ ∑
&
‹
SOLO
[interupting]
hold on - he
can't conduct,
that's for sure,
but i wonder if
he can sing.
let's give him a
chance....can we
get a note for
him please?
∑
?
[someone slips the
pianist a little
cash]
∑
&
PNO
∑
√
#
#
n
∑
?
∑
√
∑
Œ
œ
˙
Œ
œ
œœ
Ϫ
œ
J
ù Ó Œ œœ
Œ
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Ϫ
œ
j
ùÓ Œ œ
œ
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œ
j
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œ
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b
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w
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œ œ
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w
wb
∏∏∏∏∏∏∏∏∏∏∏∏∏∏∏∏∏
w
w
10
°
¢
°
¢
GC
S.
S.
A.
T.
B.
HEY!
rit. A tempo
48
don't have what it takes, take your bow bow bow bow [fart] [lipflap]
don't have what it takes, take your bow bow bow bow [fart] [lipflap]
don't have what it takes, take your bow bow bow bow [fart] [lipflap]
don't have what it takes, take your bow bow bow bow [fart] [lipflap]
don't have what it takes, take your bow bow bow bow [fart] [lipflap]
f
rit.
A tempo
3
4
3
4
3
4
3
4
3
4
3
4
3
4
3
4
/ ∑
[try to
cut off]
[try to
cut off]
[try to
cut off]
[shrug]
U
[bow]
[scream &
run out]
&
U U U
&
U U U
&
U U
U
&
‹
U U U
?
U U U
&
PNO
U
?
∑
U
V
Œ Œ
V
Œ Œ
V
Œ Œ
V
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11