MY MOTHER

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My Mother

A tr ibute o f a yearning son

by

Subhrajyoti Parida

SUBHRAJYOTI PARIDA

2

First Edition Published

and Authored by Subhrajyoti Parida

#41/1, New No. 12, First Floor, 7th Main, 7th Cross,

Malleswaram, Bangalore-560003, Karnataka, India

e-Mail ID : subhrajyoti.parida@gmail.com

ISBN-10: 1542586216

ISBN-13 : 978-1542586214 Copyright © Subhrajyoti Parida 2017

All rights reserved.

This book is based and inspired from the chain of true events that shook the life of the author. However, the author and the publisher doesn’t take the responsibility of the accuracy in the process of diagnosis, treatment

and related medical events since the concerned don’t have the expertise in the related field. Further, in case of any resemblance to actual persons,

living or dead, it is to be construed as purely coincidental.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means

(electrical, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise) without the prior written consent from the Author.

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A TRIBUTE

To the pain, I endure

To the loss, I yearn

To the memories, I cherish

To the person, I love the MOST…

My Dearest Mom

(10/08/1957 - 18/02/2016)

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‘My Mother’ reviewed

1) Beaut i fu l and Wel l -penned

“This book is not just a book, it is a work of a loving heart. A heart which has deeply loved and cherished a Mother. The writer has brought out the most challenging and painful experience of his life, by beautifully amalgamating it through prose and poetry; dedicated to his wonderful mother who must have been one amazing and magnificent woman. Written as it truly happened chapter by chapter, this Novel will make you question life in general, not only bringing you to value those around you but to cherish the meaningful relationships that you already have.”

Kainaz Jussawalla, Author, Journalist,

International Book Reviewer 2) Bond be tween Mother and Son

“The Author of the book explain the bond between mother and a son which last a life time in a beautiful way. Subhrajyoti's words reflects that there has never been, nor with there ever be anything quite so special as the love between a mother and a son.”

Dr. Dhara Patel, Physiotherapist, Award winning Social Worker

Author of National bestsellers ‘Heaven in your eyes’ and Melted Heart Frozen Feelings

3) A prayer fu l j ourney o f a son

“The Mother by Subhrajyoti is heart touching. A sort of prayerful journey of son's love and respect for his mother. Keep it up.”

Sudhir Pai

Entrepreneur, Consultant and Writer Founder -Speaking Pages (www.speaking-pages.blogspot.in)

Author of motivational book “Live Your Dreams”

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4) A master fu l , met i cu lous ly r e s ear ched work

Author Subhraiyoti Parida story about His mother's illness and death, brings out emotions in all of us... How sad it is to lose the person you love to a wicked illness.

An enthralling, gripping account of the death of a loved one, huge decisions to be made and then life after. So sad and very enthralling.

A masterful, meticulously researched work that captures death and heartbreak. I recommend this book to all the readers; I feel it will help someone going through the same situation. I give this five stars.

Deborah Brooks Langford Renowned Poet and Author,

Tennessee, USA 5) A ta l e o f fami ly va lue and an ode to a l l the mothers

With its unique mix of prose and poetry and its many emotional facets, this book shines a light on some of the darkest yet also strongest hours of the author’s life. It is a valuable read not only for those directly or indirectly battling cancer, but also a tale of family value and an ode to all the mothers out there.

Devika Fernando Amazon Bestselling Romance Novelist,

Kandy, Sri Lanka

6) Dis t in c t narra t iv e s ty l e , in t e r e s t ing r ead

In a time, people write about boy meeting girl or girl meeting boy and falling in love, it is rare to come across a book which muses the purest form of love (which is not exploited at all in today’s time, so it is refreshing…) that for the family.

With this work you get a chance to appreciate Subhrajyoti’s world… he writes right from the heart… His narrative style is distinct; the voice in unique and discourse is to the point, which is good to forward an autobiography. Adding verses to a biography is rare these days, thus making it an interesting read.

Raja Mishra Student of Literature, Aspiring Author and Engineer

Author of critically accepted novel ‘Bleeding Barriers’

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Table of Content

Page No.

(i) Tribute 3

(ii) Acknowledgment 5

(iii) About Author 7

(iv) ‘My Mother’ reviewed 9-10

(iv) Forewords 11-14

(v) Mother-etymology and across languages 17-21

(vi) Prologue 23-25

2) Chapter 1: Mom going under knife 27-30

3) Chapter 2: Everything is NOT fine 31-34

4) Chapter 3: The BAD news 35-38

5) Chapter 4: Not so Sweet Home 39-43

6) Chapter 5: The longest night 45-48

7) Chapter 6: Finally Sis. at home 49-52

8) Chapter 7: Tragedy after tragedy 53-56

9) Chapter 8:Whether to be happy or sad 57-60

10) Chapter 9: Hopes shattered 61-64

11) Chapter 10:Tragedy struck 65-69

12) Chapter 11:Mom’s last journey 71-77

13) Chapter 12:Eleven days of mourning 79-85

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Page No.

14) Chapter 13: Life must go on 87-92 15) Chapter 14: Songs dedicated to ‘Mother’ 95-112

a) Parting words 98

b) Mourning Son 98

c) Remembering Mummy 98

d) Missing Her 99

e) In memory of my Mother 99-100

f) Motherland 101

g) True Sons and Daughters of the Mother 102

h) Heroes of the land 102

i) Missing Motherland 103

j) Mother Earth 103-104

k) Mother Goddess 105-106

l) To all the Mothers 106-107

m) Enduring Pain 108

vii) Afterword by Shri. S. Nilakanta Siva 109-110

viii) More from the Desk of the Author 111-112

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MY MOTHER

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Prologue

I had landed in my hometown, Bhubaneswar, Odisha, on a weeklong leave from work, the first one after a gap of nearly a year. The date was precisely 17th January 2016. My wife had not been able to accompany me this time due to some urgent audit assignments and other professional pre-occupations at work. Two days before my scheduled flight to Bhubaneswar, Dad had informed my wife and me about Mom’s eyes turning yellowish, particularly in the sclera region (the white part of the eye surrounding the pupil). Dad had accidentally detected this symptom while on an evening stroll in the nearby public park. However, we were pretty sure that she might have contacted jaundice due to the intake of junk food during her recent visit to my maternal village.

The day before I reached home, my mother’s sugar test results showed an abnormal increase in the level in her blood stream, which shocked the doctor and my Dad equally. As per the doctor’s directives, the pathology technician collected the blood samples second time for re-tests the same day to double check the results and ensure consistency in the same. The re-test yielded the same result: an exorbitant increase in the sugar level in her blood. The doctor prescribed a host of medicines to control her sugar level and directed to periodically check the same by using a glucometer at home. Thus, from that day onwards, Mom was put under a tight diet regime with strict adherence to a medication schedule prescribed by the doctor. Dad had meticulously committed the medication schedule to his memory, given the fact that Mom was never interested in memorizing anything remotely related to medicines.

Apart from the sugar level monitoring and the strict diet control, Mom had to go through the Ultrasound scan too on her abdominal area and on the doctor’s recommendation, the pathology technician conducted a kind of advanced blood test on Mom. The results were due on the evening of 17th January 2016, the morning of which I reached home. But due to some unavoidable reasons, the lab could not make the results ready on the evening of the promised date. So, Dad had no other option but to wait for the next day. These two days, 17th and 18th January 2016, I remember, were quite tough for my Dad, making him quite restless. He used to get irritated on trivial issues, which never used to bother him earlier. It was clear that

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he was expecting something worst after a long conversation with the doctor in private. It was this only, which was keeping him worried and restless. I dared not query him on that night, for I feared it would make the situation worse. However, though I was not much of a religious person, I was sure nothing serious would have happened to my dear Mom.

My Mom, on the other hand, seemed to be quite fine physically, but she had started to show lines of worry on her forehead. She seemed to have sensed that something unexpected and bad might be coming for her in days to come. Noticing this, I used to console and convince her -- all will get well soon.

The results came on the evening of the 18th January, which my Dad had collected from the Lab, and without wasting any further time, had immediately rushed to the clinic for the doctor’s views.

Mom’s blood had an alarmingly high bilirubin level as a result of spilling out of an abnormal amount of bile from the Common Bile Duct (CBD) to her blood stream. That meant there was something in her CBD that was blocking the smooth flow of bile from her liver to the gall bladder for subsequent help in digestion of food in her small intestine. The worst fear of the doctor was taking shape. For further confirmation, the doctor carefully studied the ultrasound image and confirmed to Dad that there were unwanted growths in the form of nodules or tumor on the internal walls of her bile duct that was causing her bile to leak into her blood, thus resulting in yellowish eyes.

The doctor opined for insulin injection for a couple of weeks, twice a day before food, in order to bring her sugar level under control, and hence, prepare for biopsy of the sample tissues from her bile duct and if required, surgery in coming weeks. Hearing this, my Dad became further tensed, but he somehow was able to control and hide his actual emotions, most probably to avoid scaring his children.

A biopsy was scheduled on 24th January 2016. On the concerned day, my Mom went through one more round of Ultrasound and MRI scans to locate the position of the unwanted tissues that were causing mayhem in the sugar level and spilling out of her bile. A biopsy was basically a bloodless procedure, which went on smoothly and the samples were

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collected for the necessary tests. The surgeons tried to clear the Bile Duct as much as possible during the procedure. The Biopsy result came in a day or two, as per which the nodules or tumor in her Bile duct were still benign. But the doctor did not seem to be convinced and asked for a re-test. The re-test result also said the same. It was suspected then that the tissue samples under test might not have been collected from the affected areas adequately due to the difficult and complicated anatomical size and the position of the Bile Duct in our abdominal area.

Further to above, a random blood test, post biopsy, indicated the rise in bilirubin concentration in her blood again. That was a clear indication that something was still wrong and thus, it called for an immediate measure. The doctor opined for the Whipple‘s Procedure (a surgery technique to remove the nodules/tumor from the CBD and re-attach the same at its initial position) on my Mom, which was going to be six to seven hours long – the toughest and the longest time in our lives.

‘My Mother’ is an emotional sojourn of a son, narrated by the author in first person, for he was the one who went through the heart-wrenching experience of seeing his mother from being normal two weeks before the surgery to the bed-ridden condition post-surgery, while the situation fast becoming bad to worst and detection of 4th stage cancer (severely malignant phase) two days before her demise, with not even the faintest chance of survival- all these in a span of only one month!

The author, basically a poet, has incorporated several poems in this work for he felt that his emotions could be better communicated by poetic verses. The author hopes his readers would appreciate his straight-from-heart effort in sharing the story of how he lost his beloved ‘Mother’, his dearest person on Earth, to the most dangerous, most difficult to diagnose and one of the rare type of cancer.

Disclaimer: The author is neither a medical practitioner nor a surgeon. So the various medical terms used in the book are based on his limited understanding of that of a patient’s family member and hence, this book doesn’t claim to be medically accurate.