mytidewatermoms education guide 2005

E d u c a t i o n E n c . 1 F a l l 2 0 0 5

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Education Enc. is published annually.Circulation:10,000.Distribution of this newspaper does not constitute an endorsement of information, products, or services.Tidewater Parent assumes no responsibility for unsolicitedmanuscripts or photographs.Those not accompanied byan SASE with sufficient postage will not be returned.

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Copyright 2005 Tidewater Parent. All Rights Reserved.ISSN 1081-23340

02 IT’S A MATCHFinding the best school for your child takes time and effor t. But the rewards can last a lifetime.BY ANGEL RUTLEDGE

06 PAYING FOR PRIVATE SCHOOLThere are more options than you think. You just haveto know where to look.BY ALISON JOHNSON

09 THE PRIVATE SCHOOL ALTERNATIVEWhat do you get? What should you expect?

12 BE TRUE TOYOUR SCHOOLWhat parents need to know to help improve their child’s school.BY ALISON JOHNSON

14 EMERGENCY CONTACTSTips and considerations on choosing your child’s emergency contact.

16 HELP FOR HOMESCHOOLERSResources abound for area parents who want to school their children at home.BY TONI GUAGENTI

18 “I HATE MY TEACHER!”What to do about student/teacher conflicts.BY ALISON JOHNSON

22 TAKE THE HASSLE OUT OF HOMEWORKEasy ways to help your child through the daily routine.BY SHANNON DEAN

25 THE LISTA local listing of area preschools, private schools and public school contact information.

CONTENTS


It’s A MatchFinding the best school for your student takes time.By Angel Rutledge

As a result of moving over the past few years, my husband and I have been

faced with deciding where our first grader will attend school three times

since she started pre-school. Even though I taught for several years in the

Virginia Beach Public School system before having my daughter, it still has

been a challenge to develop a clear strategy for choosing the best educa-

tion for Makayla.

Fortunately, I was able to draw upon myteaching experience to decide on some of the characteristics I knew would be essen-tial in a school. From there, my husband andI spoke with other parents and gathered our own research on the Internet andfrom books and magazines. By the time wemoved to Charlotte, North Carolina last spring, we had a comprehensive game plan for choosing the school that would best suit our daughter’s needs.The result: our whole family is pleased with the education she is receiving.

Here are the guidelines we used:

1. Start talking early on to yourpartner about what type of schooling(public, private, home school) you and he think would be best for your child. Don’t assume you both agree on this. Since I had a great experience going to public schools and later teaching in them, I automatically assumed we would choose the same for our daughter. Then I found out that myhusband, who went to Christian private schools, had different thoughts.Thankfully,we started discussing our daughter’s edu-cation right after she was born, so by the time we had to think about enrolling her in kindergarten, we both felt good about our decision.

2. Assess your fi nances. How much can you set aside on a monthly/yearly basis for your child’s education? If the answer is next to nothing, you may want to rule out looking into private schools. (Of course, most private schools do offer scholarships, but they are usually set aside for families with limitedincomes.) Even home schooling and public education come with a price tag, so deciding what you can afford to spend in advance will save your family a good deal of stress later.

3. Decide how far you are willing to commute or have your child commute on a daily basis. Though their may be a phenomenal school across town, youneed to be honest with yourself about the toll such travel time will have on your family structure, not to mention yourlittle one.

4. Consider your child’s individualneeds. If you know your youngster is shy,a small private school with a small class size or home schooling might be best. If she is extremely social and has a hard timetaking direction from you when it comes to school work, home schooling may not be a wise option.Then again, for the stu-dent who excels in science but not reading,home schooling (where you can focus onindividual strengths and weaknesses) may be the best bet.

Possible Criteria to Consider When Choosing a School:

· Distance from your home

· The school holds similar values you want your child to have

· Cost (i.e. tuition, books, curricu-lum, supplies, fundraisers)

· Time commitment necessaryfrom you and your spouse

· Testing scores and other academicfactors

· Ethnic diversity

· Socioeconomic diversity

· Amount of money spent perchild

· Teacher training opportunitiesand requirements

· Average number of years staffmembers have been at the school

· Whether or not the school is accredited and any distinctions itholds from the state or federalgovernment

· Physical safety of the school en-vironment

· Emotional safety of the school environment

· Teaching methods employed at the school

· The level of parent involvement

· The age of the building

· Average class size

· Overall size of the school


5. Think about what sacrifi ces youare willing to make. Are you preparedto move in order to have access to a fa-vored school? Are you willing to give the necessary time and devotion to planninghome school lessons? Will you or yourspouse need to work longer hours tomake more money for tuition?

6. Go online. Many schools have theirown websites where you may be able toget answers to many of your questions. Inaddition, there are several great sites that supply in depth profiles of all public schools.Most even let you compare several schools at a time. Of course, you need to be care-ful not to rely on statistics completely,especially test scores, but they do provide a good reference point. (See sidebar for a list of helpful Web sites.)

7. Talk to other parents in your com-munitywhose children are already in school.They are an invaluable asset to you as you lookfor answers to questions like: What are the best schools in the area? How did you decideon the school your children are attending?

8. Make a list of your top two to three options for schools and rate them accordingto a set of criteria you feel are important.(See sidebar for possible criteria.)

9. Go to a PTA meeting at a school youare considering for your child. The extent towhich parents are involved says a great deal

about the quality of education at a school. Call or go into the front office to fi nd out when meetings are scheduled. Most often,the PTA calendar is set a year in advance,so you shouldn’t have any trouble fi nding a meeting that fits your schedule.

10. When you have narrowed down your search, schedule a time to visit eachschool and interview the principals. Manyschools give tours on a regular basis so you can see first hand what is happeningin the classrooms and what resourcesthe school has at its disposal. Make sure you feel comfortable with the school’sleadership, teachers, curriculum, safetymeasures, and their expectations for your child. (See sidebar on questions to askwhen interviewing school staff.)

One of the most important points toremember in your search for the perfect school is that you are not making a lifetimecommitment for your child. While it’s goodto think about the future when making edu-cational decisions, it’s best to focus on theforeseeable future, like the next one to two years. Changes in the economy, occupationsand individual schools will inevitably takeplace, so what may be best for your childnext year, may not be best years down the road. It helps lessen the pressure on your decision if you remember that you canalways change your mind later. And best ofall, if you follow these tips before choosing a school, chances are you won’t have to. •

Questions to Ask School Staff:

· What teaching methods areemployed at this school?

· How many students are en-rolled?

· What is the average class size inmy child’s grade?

· How much time will my child beexpected to spend on homeworkeach night?

· What type of curriculum do youuse for reading and math?

· How many parents are members of the PTA?

· Can I get a copy of the PTAbudget for this year?

· What measures do you take toensure school safety?

· What is the mission statement for this school?

· What awards did the school win last year?

· How do you handle studentswith different ability levels?

· What kinds of opportunities willmy child have to learn outside ofcontent areas (i.e. in art, theatre,physical education and music)?

· Can I get a copy of the day’sschedule for my child’s grade?

· What types of parent involve-ment do you encourage at thisschool?

· Does the school have any special partnerships with businesses orcommunity groups?

Useful Web sites to Research Schools

http://www.greatschools.net – Find spe-cific information on almost any school inthe country including test scores, parentreviews, and demographic breakdowns for each school

http://www.schoolmatters.com – Com-pare schools according to performance,demographics and how much money eachis allocated

http://www.vbcps.k12.va.us/ , http://www.nps.k12.va.us/ and http://eclipse.cps.k12.va.us/ - Sites for school districts in the Tide-water area with information ranging from

the budget to SOL testing information.

http://www.psk12.com/rating/index.php- Ranks schools in twenty-nine states accord-ing to performance on standardized tests

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7761678/site/newsweek/ - Ranks the top one thousandhigh schools in the country

http://www.pen.k12.va.us/ - Virginia Depart-ment of Education site. Contains all types ofinformation on the Virginia school systemincluding the latest news about schools in the state to individual school report cards.


Paying for Private SchoolMore options than you’d think.By Alison Johnson

When the Reeves family decided an independent school was the best

setting for their children, they made a drastic move: relocating from the

Outer Banks during the school week to a home near Norfolk Academy.

After seeing one child graduate from the close-knit school and another still fl ourishingthere, Fran Reeves believes that all parents interested in a private school educationshould look into all of their options — morethan they might have imagined — to makeit a possibility.

“It’s by far the most well-spent money of our lives,” Reeves said. “Norfolk Academy has become our second family. It’s amazing how children can blossom if they’re in the place that’s right for them.”

Every family has different reasons forchoosing a school, public or private, andthere is no right answerfor all kids. But for many parents who decide pri-vate school is the way to go, the next question iswhat changes they need tomake to get a child in and then to foot the bill.

For many, the tuitionseems far out of reacheven after they’ve consid-ered cutting expenses and luxuries. Locally, pricescan range from $5,000 to $12,000 a year for elemen-tary school and $9,000 to $14,000 for middle andupper school, fees that sometimes include at least one meal along with books andsupplies.

Some families can get by with carefulspending, perhaps living in smaller homes,driving older cars, cutting back on vacations,

shopping for bargains or takingon extra work.At the same time, private schools stressthat financial aid grants aresurprisingly common, as are low-interest student loansdesigned specifi cally to help fund a private school educa-tion before college.

“My advice to parents whothink they can’t afford a privateeducation is: Don’t give up before you even try,” said Frances Holcombe, director of admissions at Norfolk Academy, where

tuition is $12,100 forgrades 1 to 6 and $13,700 for grades 7 to 12.

“Do your homework:Investigate the independentschools in your area,deter-mine which one would be the best fit for your child and apply for a scholarship.The school may very well be able to help you meet the cost of the tuition.”

This year, NorfolkAcademy has awarded$1.4 million in need-based assistance to 185 students,or 15 percent of its stu-

dent body. Other families have taken ad-vantage of a 10-month tuition payment planat no extra charge.The school’s admissions office does not consider a family’s ability to pay when deciding which students to admit,Holcombe said.

“Very few of our students turn down a place or do not re-enroll because offinancial need,” she said.

Other private schools also have healthyneed-based aid programs, drawing fromtheir operating budgets, foundations, en-dowments and fundraisers in an effort to create a diverse student body. A smallernumber also offer merit-based scholarshipsor discounts for siblings.

At Norfolk Collegiate School, 21 per-cent of students receive some form of as-sistance for tuition that ranges from $8,350for full-day kindergarten to $10,800 for the upper school. Hampton Roads Academy in Newport News helps nearly 10 percent of its student body with its $9,765 to$11,025 fee.

Parents should look at a school’s Web site, talk to admissions offi cers and apply foraid even if they’re not sure they qualify, schooladministrators say. Many schools work with the School and Student Service for Financial Aid, a New Jersey-based program, to deter-mine how much help a family needs.

“Do your homework:Investigate the inde-pendent schools in

your area, determine which one would be the best fit for your child and apply for a

scholarship.

“In many cases, we help families tocover the ‘gap’ between what they can afford and the tuition cost,” said Mary Ste-vens, director of admission at HRA.“But we can only help them if they go through the process and fill out the forms.”

Nationwide, private schools be-longing to the National Association of Independent Schools (NAIS) awarded more than $815 million in aid in 2004-05, covering 18 percent of students.The average awards were $8,450 forday schools and $14,430 for boarding schools.

Outside of grants, financial aid of-ficers also can direct families to lists of student loan programs, one maintained by the NAIS (go to www.nais.org orcall 202-973-9700 for information).The mostly credit-based plans can provide funding up front and spread payments over a longer period of time.

For example, the TuitionPay Diploma Loan from Academic Management Ser-vices lets parents borrow anywherefrom $1,500 to $30,000 with the optionof adding a monthly plan to breaks bills into interest-free installments.The com-pany also offers free budget counseling.Other popular loan programs include SLM Financial Corporation, PrepGate and PLATO Junior Education Loans.

Private schools say they direct tu-ition dollars toward high-quality teach-ers, tough curriculums, small classes,meaningful field trips and communityservice programs and, in general, tight communities that give students individu-alized attention and support.

For Fran Reeves, the price is right.“We wanted a school that would

challenge our children in an atmosphereof trust and caring, and we’ve foundit,” Reeves said. “The opportunities for each student to be successful are just endless. So my advice is, explore your options and when you discover theeducational setting that meets the needsof your child, try to find a way to make it happen.” •Alison Johnson is a Tidewater Parent con-tributing writer. She and her family live on the Peninsula.


The Private School Alternative What do you get? What should you expect?By Peggy Middendorf

By law, the United States government is obligated to offer every child an education, and

many public schools offer students an excellent educational opportunity.Americans

are equally proud of their freedom of choice; thus, private schools have blossomed.

But ultimately, what parents want to know is “What school is best for MY child?”

Types of Schools

When thinking about private schools,what comes to mind? Is it an exclusive college prep academy, church school or a school with a specialized curriculum? Well, they’re all right. Private schools todayencompass a wide variety of opportuni-ties. Some are conservative and traditionaland require uniforms and strict discipline,while others are known for their liberal,easy going attitude where students call teachers by their first names and decide what they will study that day.

Tuition ranges from approximately$5,000 to more than $14,000 per year,and enrollment varies from 35 to more than 1,000. Some private schools havestringent admission requirements andothers will admit anyone who applies.Many private schools are profit-making enterprises under private ownership,while others are operated by churches under a non-profit status.And some pri-vate schools may offer only a small range of grade levels, while others can serveyour family from preschool to high school graduation.

The differences also extend into the classroom.The philosophies of education vary greatly from the strict traditionalclassroom settings to very open, stu-dent-led education of the Montessoriclassroom. Schools run by religious orga-nizations may inject their religious views and values into all subject areas.

Some schools boast of their sports programs or performing arts, whileothers are proud of their emphasis on academics. Many include amenities such as before and after school childcare as well as bus service.

Why a Private School Education?

Parents choose private school edu-cation for a variety of reasons. Some

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parents feel that private schools can provide a better quality educationfor their child. By offering smallerclasses with a more individualizedcurriculum, children can learn better and easier. Some students might be lost in a school with an enrollment of more than 1,000 but might blossom in a smaller school setting. A private education can also be an advantage when applying to college.

When a child is not working up to his po-tential, parents may turn to a private schoolsfor help. And rightly so.In many cases, children who need more per-sonal attention are not able to get it in a public school setting. Some pri-vate schools specializein working with childrenwith special needs such as learning disabilities orbehavioral problems.

Some parents prefer the style of teaching thatprivate schools offer. It may be religious educa-tion or an alternativeapproach to learningsuch as those practiced at Montessori or Wal-dorf schools.

With the increase of drugs and vio-lence on some school campuses, parentsmay feel that private schools offer asafer campus, where children are more closely supervised. Parents may also feelthat private schools, where parents pay tuition, are more responsive to parents’ needs and suggestions.

Private schools may also be a way for some children to begin school at an earlier date than state law affords.

Last but not least, many parentswere raised with a private schooleducation and may simply want to send their children to their alma mater.

Beginning the Search

To start the search, consult with your child’s current teacher and write downyour child’s strengths (and weaknesses) as well as how she learns. Be sure to include sports skills, interests and hobbies as well as academics.

Make a list of what, as a parent, you are interested in for your child’s education.Are you interested in a college prep program

or does a great athleticdepartment mean more toyou? As a working parent,is before and after school childcare important as wellas a bus service?

Start with recommen-dations from teachers and counselors as well as the Tidewater Parent listing of private schools to make a list of schools that might meet your requirements.

Don’t give up on pri-vate schools when youfind out what they cost.The amount of financialaid available is much more than parents think.

Fitting the school tothe child is important. Go to open houses or makeappointments with admin-

istrators. To find out more about a school,take a tour. Make sure to go on a day when school is in session so you can see the stu-dents and teachers at work.Write down a list of questions for the administrators whenyou meet with them.

Ultimately, you want your child to feel comfortable at the school you choose.And you want to feel that the school is able to offer your child the best possible education.But remember, the school that is perfect for your child in first grade, may not be the school that is right for middle or high school.Your child will be changing and so will his needs.The evaluation of your child’s school needs to be an ongoing process. •

Don’t give up on private schools

when you find out what they cost.The National Center for Education Statistics found that 36 per-cent of the nation’s private school par-ents earn less than $50,000 per year.


Be True to Your School What parents can do to help any school.By Alison Johnson

Here’s a fact that all parents should know: Every year, teachers spend an

average of $443 out of their own pockets for classroom supplies, according

to the National Education Association.

Often on limited budgets, they have to be lesson planners, field trip organizers,test-time cheerleaders, tutors, etiquetteguides, sports coaches and career advi-sors and, faced with bare classrooms at summer’s end, interior decorators.

Put another way, schools need a lot of help to stay strong.

Willing parents should start by think-ing basic, said Denise Cardinal, an NEAstaff member whose focus areas include parental involvement in schools.

“Look for ways that are unglamorous but really helpful to teachers,” Cardinal said.“Make copies and bring in offi ce supplies like paper. I know it sounds weird, but lots of schools have not nearly enough paper and plenty of kids don’t have basic supplies that teachers have to provide, like pencils,pens, etc. Even just giving the teacher agift card from Staples or Office Depot for classroom supplies is so helpful.”

Many schools hand out lists of needed supplies at the beginning of each aca-demic year. If possible, stock up on a few extras of essentials such as crayons,pencils, paper, glue, tissue and rulers.Thenthroughout the year, check to see if any supplies have run low.

Parents who stay active in schoolsare more likely to see their kids succeed academically and socially, according to nu-merous studies. So mothers and fathers should join parent-teacher associations,keep up on a school’s rules and dailyschedules and attend special events and teacher conferences.

But ideally, teachers say, all that would be just the beginning.

Parent-school partnerships should startas early as possible, preferably before the first bell rings, said Aiza Brinkley, a teacher at the Resurrection Lutheran School and Child Care Center in Newport News.“Good communication is key to so manythings at a school,” Brinkley said.

During one-on-one sessions with teach-ers — in person if possible, or by phone or e-mail if not — describe a child’s inter-ests, quirks, strengths and weaknesses (don’t gloss over those). Print out contact phone numbers andemail addresses to help teachers pass along con-structive criticism andideas for helping kidslearn at home.

Those early com-munications alsoare a good place to volunteer to help as need-ed through-out the year,as well as to share anyspecial inter-ests or talents,Brinkley said.“As the year goeson, remind theteacher thatyou’re avail-able,” she said.

“It’s always good to ask what they need.” Parents can play many active roles in

school life.They can chaperone fi eld trips,give presentations about careers or hob-bies and show pictures from trips abroad.They can tutor, help coach a sports team,design or upgrade outdoor gardens and playgrounds and contribute to classnewsletters and surveys. If a teacher has an absent assistant or needs an extra set of hands for an activity, parents can be perfect pinch hitters.

At many local schools, parent-ledcommittees already do much morethan the stereotypical bake sales.Parents at Hampton Roads Academyin Newport News, for example, plan back-to-school picnics, used book sales,holiday gift-wrapping services and after-prom parties.

At Coventry Elementary School in YorkCounty, the PTA sponsors a spelling con-test, school carnival and arts and fitness

programs and also asks for volunteers to take pictures for class bulletin boards, baketreats for teachers, help with vision and hearing screens for new students and put together test survival kits.

PTA leaders in Chesapeake have a particularly ambitious set of goals this year, including introducing legislationto raise teacher salaries and starting a college scholarship program for top students with backing from successful past graduates.

“We don’t want to be a kind and gentle PTA,” said Bob Williams, president of the Chesapeake PTA Council, which repre-sents the city’s 46 public schools. “That’s not what our schools need. People tend tolose sight of the fact that the PTA is sup-posed to be a strong children’s advocacy organization.”

Parental activism boosts both teacher morale and student motivation, said Wil-liams, a single father who would like to see more men involved in the organization.“If kids see parents in their schools on a regu-lar basis, they’re going to feel more securethat they’re in a good place,” he said.

Statewide, public school systems inparticular need parents to push for more education funding. School administrators encourage families to show up at school board meetings and write letters to local,state and federal legislators with problems,opinions and potential solutions.

At the community level, parents can use any ties with business leaders tobrainstorm ways to fund scholarships and school supplies. Church members might organize a volunteer project for students.Library employees could run story times or set up reading challenges.

Last but not least, one of the best places to help a school is at home. Class-rooms will run much more smoothly foreveryone if kids are familiar with books,household responsibilities, basic man-ners and the concepts of sharing, listen-

ing and taking turns.That work will shape academic success from preschool to high school — and way beyond. “Those lessons,” Brinkley said,“will carry into life.” •Alison Johnson is a Tidewater Parent contributing writer. She and her family live on the Peninsula.


In Case Of EmergencyConsiderations when choosing emergency contactsBy Alison Johnson

Every year, all parents face the same decision no matter if their child is a kin-

dergartner or 12th-grader, a public or private school student or a resident of

Virginia Beach or Williamsburg:Whose name to write down as an emergency

contact in case of trouble during the school year.

term relationship with the parent that is very unlikely to change. A sibling or long-time friend with roots in the com-munity, for example, might be a better choice than a recent romantic partner or newer acquaintance.

Some parents have no trouble when faced with those blank lines on school paperwork. Many have a limited number of family and good friends who live locally,or they know one person who obviously stands out above the rest. Others need to put in a little more analysis.

Sandra Shaffer of York County, themother of a 9-year-old son and 5-year-old daughter, has always picked someone with a parenting style similar to her own.That’s important to her, she said, because an emergency contact potentially could be taking care of her children for hours at a time.

“I want someone I trust and know mychildren are comfortable with,” said Shaf-fer, also a safety-conscious type who leadsher community’s Neighborhood Watch program.“I look for loving patience, open minded, a focus on the children, healthy,involved, calm — which I need more of — and I also rely a lot on gut feeling and emotion.”

People who have placed their trust in emergency contacts — both personally and professionally — know exactly how valuable they can be.

On the job, Bernadette Darrow once

The choice needs to be a thoughtful one, parenting and safety experts say.

After all, emergency contacts are the people who, in the absence of Mom and Dad, could be handling everything from a major health crisis to a touch of the stomach flu. They might have to dropeverything, pick up a child, take him to the doctor or just provide a little chicken soup and TLC at home.

“It’s a really important thing, especiallyif you’re a parent who’s not going to be at home a lot,” said Bernadette Darrow,a mother of two and also a site manager for the Family Focus parenting program on the Peninsula.“You know those peoplewho stay mostly in one place, or the oneswho constantly check the messages on their cell phones? Those are good people to rely on.”

The best candidates for the position don’t go out of town a lot or movearound without a cell phone turned on,agreed York-Poquoson Sheriff DannyDiggs.“Parents should consider someonewho is easy to contact, that is trustwor-thy and preferably someone with whom the child is familiar,” Diggs said. Listing two or three names as backups also is a good idea.

Less obviously, schools recommendpeople who have an answering machine or voice mail, own a car — or have accessto another form of reliable transporta-tion during the day — and have a long-

had a pregnant woman who needed to see a doctor and got to one with help from her contact, who immediately re-sponded to a call from Family Focus staff.And Darrow’s daughter once vomited all over her clothes in elementary school andneeded to be picked up right away.

For Darrow, who doesn’t have a cell phone and often drives between Wil-liamsburg and York County for work, the close friends she has relied on as contacts have given her peace of mind. That was especially true when Melanie, now 20, and Jake, 18 — both high school graduates — were also on the road, often with their school band.

Without family nearby, Darrow focusedon people she knew would be in one or two places most of the time, such as a friend who typically went straight home from her job at a local school. “It’s got to be someone who you can find easily,not someone who might be away from a phone for a long time,” she said.“You don’twant to be hunting around when things are going wrong.”

Once parents have made their choice,they still can take several steps to make emergency situations easier on everyone.For one thing, they should make sure the chosen person knows they are the con-tact. Then, they should double-check all addresses and phone numbers — home,cell and work — at the beginning of every school year and update their contacts on a child’s health history, including allergies,medications and recent illnesses.

Emergency contacts also should know about a parent’s out-of-town trips in ad-vance and have a list of phone numbers fordoctors, dentists, babysitters and, if pos-sible, other trusted friends or relatives.

All of that adds up to a strong security net for parents and schools — not tomention children who might really need a friendly, familiar face.

“I’ve had situations at work wherewe didn’t have an emergency contact,”Darrow said,“and I can tell you, it wasn’t pretty.” •Alison Johnson is a Peninsula-based free-lance writer and a Tidewater Parent con-tributing writer.


Help For HomeschoolersResources abound for area parents wanting to school their children at home.By Toni Guagenti

When Allison and Bill Kelley decided to teach their son, Chad, at home in the

early-to-mid 1990s, they didn’t have to go far to figure out how to make the

transition from public school to home school.

They just had to look around whereBill worked as a photo editor at TheVirginian-Pilot. An advertising photog-rapher and his wife were teaching their child at home and offered a plethora ofinformation on how to get started.

George Smith, 19, whose motherhome-schooled him starting during the second half of his freshman year, had a similar experience.

“We met up with a parent who had beenhome school ing herchildren since elemen-tary school, so she had a lot of experience,”Smith of Chesapeakesays. “We went overand got a lot of informa-tion about how to goabout things, what op-tions there are, meetingstate standards and thatkind of thing.”

In the 21st century,home schooling is be-coming more and more popular withparents, who still look to other home-school parents to figure out how toget started. Then, resources aboundto make it happen. From a prom tointramural sports, home schooling has

become not just a way for young chil-dren and adults to learn and teach, but it’s become a lifestyle.

“The ideas and the possibilities are endless,” says Cherrie Moore, whofounded Moore Expressions 20 years ago. The company in Virginia Beach sellsmaterials such as books to home educa-tors. It’s also an outlet for parents to

mingle, share thoughtsand f ind out how toget connected with the right group, both reli-gious and secular. “All ittakes is for someone toget something started.”

Even at homeschool-central.com, an outletfor home-schooling since1996, the tips for new par-ents states, “Start talkingto people you know who already homeschool their children. They will haveplenty of good advice toget you started. If you

don’t know any homeschoolers then try to find a homeschool support group inyour area.”

In addition to fi nding people who havealready home schooled their children totalk to, advice from the Web site includes

finding out your state laws, choosing acurriculum that fits your child’s learningstyle, choosing wisely your child’s socialinteractions, finding and using resources,and having fun.

An area resource in Hampton Roads in-cludes “The Bayith Educator,” published byCherrie Moore and Moore Expressions.Bayith is a Hebrew word for a house or a dwelling most often associated with fam-ily, according to www.mooreexpressions.com/bayith.html. In the magazine, Moore lists the support groups in the Hampton Roads area ready to help people in their quest to instruct a child or children athome. It has 1,000 subscribers.

Across Virginia, home schooling ismonitored by the state to make sure

Across Virginia,home schooling is monitored by the

state to make sure academic standards are met for students

to graduate.

academic standards are met for stu-dents to graduate.

A trip to the Virginia Department ofEducation Web site, spells out what’sneeded for home instruction at http://www.pen.k12.va.us/VDOE/Parents/index.html, from courses approved for homeinstruction to home-instruction laws.

The Home Educators Association ofVirginia also provides information forparents at www.heav.org on how toget started, what to expect and whatto teach. A home-school manual forsale at the site also outlines informa-tion about Virginia law, teaching tips,record keeping and college and college alternatives.

You can also find a list of support groups or e-mail discussion lists atwww.vahomeschoolers.org.

As for Allison Kelley, Chad is in Biblecollege in California and wants to go into the ministry. “The biggest advan-tage, ... what they’re best in, they can really excel at,” she says. Chad was intoscience and animals, volunteering manyhours at the Virginia Marine ScienceMuseum (now the Virginia Aquarium) in Virginia Beach, where the family lived.

Moore, who sits on the Home Edu-cators Association of Virginia’s board of directors, advises people who want tostart to teaching their children at hometo begin checking out the law, count thecosts before beginning and understand the time it will take.

“It’s a way of life, it’s not just some-thing you do from 9 to 2, “says Moore,who home-schooled her daughter, Joy Suits. Now Moore’s granddaughter,Kimberly, is being home schooled.

“It’s a whole lifestyle change ... nomatter which method you use.”

For more information on Moore Ex-pressions, call Cherrie Moore at (757) 523-4965. •Toni Guagenti is a Tidewater Parent con-

tributing writer, and a mom. She and her daughter live in Norfolk.


"I Hate My Teacher"What to do about student/teacher conflicts.By Alison Johnson

I switched schools a lot as a child.Wanting the best possible education for me,

my parents held teachers to very high — maybe unfairly high — standards. If

a teacher fell short, whether in reality or in my parents’ minds, I often found

myself adjusting to a new classroom.

As they do throughout the school year,teachers also encourage regular parent-teacher communication to prevent disagree-ments or bounce back from them. “Youalways have to work as a team,” Eubanks said.“We rarely have confrontations at my school because parents are informed, and informed parents are happy parents.”

Still, some conflicts are inevitable.Teach-ers are like any group of professionals: Most are talented and dedicated, but some are ill matched for the job or simply burned out.And when a child is unhappy — for good reason or not — emotions can run high and consequences can be serious, from anxiety toself-doubt to outright fear of school.

Here are some tips for worried parents,contributed by local teachers, school adminis-trators and national education associations:

If your child says he doesn’t like a teacher,listen carefully and ask a lot of questions. He might actually be upset about something else.Maybe he thinks he has too much homework or doesn’t like getting called on in class (even if both are for his own good).With young kids,the issue could be as simple as having to sit apart from a friend.

As soon as a concern arises, set up a meeting with your child’s teacher. Delaying that conversation usually makes a situation worse, especially if the teacher isn’t aware of a problem.

Head into teacher conferences with apositive attitude and don’t get defensive if the teacher brings up concerns about your child. But don’t just focus on negatives. Share insights on your child’s interests, personality quirks, learning style and anxieties.The better a teacher knows a student, the less chance of a misunderstanding or serious confl ict.

Even if you have doubts about a teacher,reassure your child that everyone is working hard to improve the situation.

Ask to observe a class or volunteer to help out in the classroom (which many busy teachers welcome). Spending time in school will give you a better perspective on day-to-day happenings. For example, a child might say a teacher “yells” a lot when she’s actually just speaking up to quiet students down.

Check with other parents to see if anyone else has had similar problems with a teacher.

As a parent myself, I’ve had nothing but wonderful experiences with teachers so far.But if one of my boys ever did come home claiming to have a bad teacher, what would I do? How is a parent to resolve such sticky situations, short of losing tempers or simply giving up?

The best approach, educators agree, is to be proactive, direct and — while always tak-ing a child’s complaints seriously — to give the teacher the benefit of the doubt. In other

words, try to stay calm and remember that there are two sides to every story.

“You should always approach yourchild’s teacher with a problem beforegoing to the administration,” said Julie Eu-banks, a sixth-grade teacher at Tabb MiddleSchool in York County.At Tabb Middle, the team of teachers that works with each student will meet with parents together,looking for behavior patterns that could help explain and solve rubbing points.

At the same time, be careful not to let other people’s opinions color your con-clusions. Some teachers earn an unfair reputation via gossip.

If you’re still not happy at this point, call your school’s principal and set up a meet-ing. Bring a written list of complaints and examples of behavior that have concerned you. Hopefully, your notes will help resolve problems. But in a worst-case scenario,the principal could use them on employee evaluations or to dismiss a teacher.

Think about whether a relationship ishurting your child or is simply unpleasant. If it’s the latter, consider brainstorming ways to get through the class, from keeping a low profi le to volunteering to help with daily chores.After all,kids will have to cope with personality confl ictsthroughout their lives.

If you feel your child is truly in a bad situ-ation, write a letter to the principal and copy it to school board members and the superin-tendent of your school division (that contact

information is in student handbooks and on school division Web sites). Get other parents to sign the letter if they feel the same way.If you don’t get a response, follow up with phone calls or go to a school board meet-ing and speak during the public comment period.

If you see no hope of a resolution,look into transferring your child to an-other classroom or — if it’s a possibility — another school.

But hopefully, most conflicts will never even come close to that point.

Said Lisa Kellerman, a Newport News parent who had a brief run-in a few years back with her son’s ultra-strict, manners-minded second-grade teacher:“I still think she was too hard on the kids, even now, but when I talked to her she said she was just trying to help them and that was her way.

“She said she wasn’t singling anyone out.So when my son complained, that’s what I’d tell him. She was never his favorite teacher,but he came through it OK.” •

Alison Johnson is a Tidewater Parent con-tributing writer. She lives on the Peninsula with her family.


Take the Hassle Out of HomeworkBy Shannon M. Dean

Most parents have heard a child eager to play promise his homework is a

breeze he can complete in only a few minutes. Sometimes, however, twenty

minutes before bedtime the assignment magically sprouts tricky components

the child has forgotten and now can’t seem to grasp. Parents sometimes aren’t

sure what to do. Every one is tired, the child is begging for help and it’s now

way past bedtime. It can be excruciating for parents to sit on their hands

and watch their child struggle through problems alone. Most experts say you

don’t have to watch from the sidelines, but should draw the line between

supporting and doing. Once you learn that and a few other tricks, experts

say, you’ll begin to take a lot of the hassles out of homework

WHY SO MUCH HOMEWORK?

According to The U.S. Department OfEducation, children who spend more time on homework do better academically than children who do not. Because class size and curriculum often demand teachers not spend too much time on any one subject, schools rely on homework to reinforce what was taught at school.This gives parents an oppor-tunity to see what their child is learning and to help their student learn and study in the way the child learns best -- one on one, for however long it takes --options sometimes not available to a child at school.

HOW YOU CAN HELP & HOWMUCH TO GIVE

First, parents need to show students thateducation and homework are a top priority and are totally non negotiable.Arrange your family’s schedule so that there is enough time to calmly and fully be present for homework.When to do the work depends on the child.Some children need time to decompress

after school while others becomemore tired as the evening goeson and need to get it out ofthe way. Once you fi ndwhat works best,don’t deviate so it becomes a habit.Make sure the en-vironment is free of distractions and stockedwith neces-sary supplies.That way,when thetime and place are presentedto your child, heknows it’s time to get to work. Offer incentives and re-wards for a job well done like a specialsnack, uninterrupted playtime and lots of praise.

Both the national PTA and the U.S. De-

partment of Education agree that it’s not only acceptable but vital to give children plenty of encouragement and even restrainedhelp with assignments.They suggest that parents be not only available but physicallyclose by. Sometimes, your presence alone will be enough to motivate your child and get her rolling. Other times, your child mayneed your direct help. This might mean answering her questions, practicing spell-ing words, or listening to her read aloud.Unless the teacher indicates differently,it’s usually fine to show her an example and answer specific questions on how you completed the task. But remember, cau-tion experts, it’s your child’s homework,not yours. Be careful to stick to the role of advisor, not assistant.

1.Talk About Assignments.

You can save a lot of time and frustrat ion by

going over the as-signment with your child to make sure

he c lear ly under-stands what's asked

of him. If there’sany doubt, havehim completethe first partof the assign-ment with you.A ch i ld whoenthusiastically

completes some-thing he will have

to erase later will not be so enthusiastic thenext time. If the assign-ment is comprised ofseveral parts, discusswhat might be theeasiest way to start

or whether the assign-ment should be broken

into several parts. If theinstructions are vague and

you don’t fully understand them yourself, contact the teacher, a class-

mate, or if your school has one, the home-work help line.

2. Help Your Child In The Way He Learns Best.

Parents know how their child thinks andshould use this to their full advantage.Teach-ers often don’t have the luxury of presenting a concept in more than one way, but parents can. For example, when teaching fractions to a hands-on learner, you might cut an actual pieinto halves, fourths, and eighths. If your child is more of a visual learner, consider drawing a graph or picture. If your student learns byhearing, you could recite a story involving fractions. Imaginative children who think in more abstract terms might respond better if the concept is personalized to them.A child who loves Star Wars might be much more interested if asked what percentage of the Jedicounsel is comprised by Jedi masters. Don’t forget homework help websites. Many are free and specifically designed to be interesting,interactive and relevant to children.

3.When Homework is Done.

Once homework is fi nished, check for com-pleteness, but don’t correct mistakes. Instead,help your child discover them himself byasking how he came up with the answer or if he is sure it is correct. If your child is still stumped, leave a note for the teacher so she knows where your child needs help. Even if your child’s homework is perfect, always makean effort to reinforce the material.Ask open ended questions or let your child explain his favorite part to you.Ask your child how he might use what he just learned.

SEE HOMEWORK AS AN OPPORTUNITY RATHER THAN A CHORE

Experts stress parents should view home-work not with dread but as an opportunity to offer their child the extra attention that willhelp him get the most of out school. Parents can also reinforce important life skills like organization, time management and setting priorities, things a child will use his entire life.And, you’ll be able to show him that what he does all day is very important to you,that you’re proud of him, and want to be directly involved in his life.•

Homework Help

Here are a few good websites to visit withyour child.They not only help with homework assignments, but can also offer extra practice through fun activities like games, jokes, activity sheets and even pen pals.

1. B.J. Pinchbeck‘s Homework Helper.Incredibly, this website was started by a student and his friends. It is now part of The DiscoveryChannel and houses an enormous collection of homework help catalogued by age and topic.Subjects are presented in a format kids love.http://school.discovery.com/homeworkhelp/bjpinchbeck/. While at The Discovery Channel,try the site’s Brain Boosters, which boasts fun activities in the categories of lateral thinking,logic, number and math play, reasoning, spatial awareness and word and letter play. http://school.discovery.com/brainboosters/

2. Infoplease’s Homework Center. Home-work help on topics like geography, history,language arts, math, science and social studies,as well as an opportunity to browse almanacs,atlases, dictionaries, encyclopedias, and biogra-phies. http://www.infoplease.com/homework/

3. Multnomah County Library Home-work Helper. Click on any one of the numer-ous homework subjects and find a huge list of links specifi c to that subject. www.multnomah.lib.or.us/lib/homework

4. Math And Reading Help For Kids. Org.An incredibly detailed sight focused primarily on math, reading and writing for preschool to college students. Offers not only homework help, but also extensive resources for teachers,parents, and students on common challenges faced during the school years. http://math-and-reading-helpforkids.org/homework_help_web-sites_for_kids.html.

5. Ask Jeeves’ Web site For Kids. Hashelp sections for math, history, science andastronomy. Offers a dictionary, thesaurus, and analmanac, as well as clip art for reports needing pictures. www.ajkids.com

6. KidsClick! Put together by the RamapoCatskill Library System and maintained by Colo-rado State Library, this website goes well beyondhomework help and is a wonderful resource for parents wanting to expand on a homework topic. Offers fun games, jokes, and activities on a huge variety of subjects. Even offers to match up pen pals for extra practice with writing.http://sunsite.berkeley.edu/KidsClick!/


A listing of local preschools, private schools and public school contact information.

TheLIST


PRESCHOOLS

Chesapeake

Atlantic Shores Christian School1217 N. Centerville Turnpike479-9598

Cathedral of Faith Christian School2020 Portlock Rd.545-8050

Cedar Road Christian Academy916 Cedar Rd.547-9553

Chesapeake Family YMCA1033 Greenbrier Parkway547-9622

Cornerstone Christian School1212 Willow Ave.424-7230

Elizabeth River Baptist Day Care601 Sparrow Rd.420-3341

Kindercare Learning Center929 Cedar Rd. - 436-4747725 Greenbrier Parkway - 436-4672

La Petite Academy2453 Taylor Rd.465-3893

Montessori Lab School1101 Madison Plaza548-8762

Providence Baptist School501 Providence Rd,523-6480

Hampton

Hampton Montessori School225 Chapel St.723-1428

Kindercare Learning Centers406 Big Bethel Rd. - 838-49782 Kyle St. - 865-7637

Newport News

Bright Heights Learning Centers1403 Kiln Creek Parkway 875-5669

Hampton Roads Montessori School610 Thimble Shoals Blvd., Bldg. 5, Ste.524873-8950

Kindercare Learning Centers:902 Lucas Rd. - 877-08726 Sierra Dr. - 596-1532

Orcutt Baptist School653 Baxter Lane249-2323

Norfolk

Discovery Care Center811 Redgate Ave.668-7085

First Presbyterian School820 Colonial Ave.625-0667

Ghent Montessori School610 Mowbray Arch622-8174

Ghent United Methodist Preschool531 Raleigh Ave.622-3239

Mustard Seed Child Care6900 Newport Ave.423-5854

St. Pius X Catholic School7800 Halprin Dr.588-6171

West Ghent School1004 Graydon Ave.622-4403

Portsmouth

Central Baptist Church School1200 Hodges Ferry Rd.488-4477

Kindercare Learning Center6025 Churchland Blvd.484-9377

La Petite Academy3903 Cedar Lane483-4325

Montessori Preparatory School4811 High St.484-6744

Portsmouth Catholic2301 Oregon Ave.488-6744

Virginia Beach

Atlantic Shores Christian School1861 Kempsville Rd.479-1125

Barefoot Kids1458 Kempsville Rd.467-1234

Bayside Presbyterian School1400 Ewell Rd.464-0292

Beach Day School36th St. & Pacific Ave.428-6332

Bow Creek Preschool315 S. Rosemont Rd.463-0818


Churchland Country Day School4249 Taylor Rd.484-8783

Courthouse Montessori School1305 Windmill Point Crescent468-0099

Haygood United Methodist Preschool4713 Haygood Rd.473-9638

Ivy League Academy4413 Wishart Rd499-6064

Ivy League Academy520 Constitution Ave.499-6064

Kempsville Presbyterian Preschool805 Kempsville Rd.495-4611

Kindercare Learning Centers:4621 Crossborough Rd. - 499-93431801 General Booth Blvd. - 721-7664704 Hillingdon Court - 474-24503740 Holland Rd. - 486-72542032 S. Independence Blvd. - 471-22213704 Lampl Ave. - 498-85222205 Poplar Point Rd. - 481-6048

La Petite Academy:1921 S. Independence Blvd. - 471-61041569 Mill Dam Rd. - 481-60785355 Lila Lane - 420-2913

Montessori Children’s House700 Hillingdon Court495-1776

Plaza Baptist Christian Preschool245 S. Rosemont Rd.486-4227

Prince of Peace Preschool424 Kings Grant Rd.340-3033

Star of the Sea309 15th St.428-8400

Tabernacle Baptist School717 N.Whitehurst Landing Rd.420-5476

VA Beach Friends School1537 Laskin Rd.428-7534

VA Beach School of the Arts3692 S. Plaza Trail431-1382

PRIVATE SCHOOLS

Chesapeake

Cathedral of Faith Christian School2020 Portlock Rd.545-8050

Cedar Road Christian Academy916 Cedar Rd.547-9553

Chesapeake Christian Academy1229 Hazel Ave.420-9504

Cornerstone Christian School1212 Willow Ave.424-7230

GBC Enrichment Center and School825 Greenbrier Parkway548-9280

Greenbrier Christian Academy311 Kempsville Rd.547-9595

Indian Creek-Welcome Baptist School1200 Kempsville Rd.547-3552

Providence Baptist School501 Providence Rd.523-6480

Stonebridge School4225 Portsmouth Blvd.488-7586

Hampton

Calvary Covenant School403 Whealton Rd.826-5942

Fox Hill Private School415 Fox Hill Rd.851-0617

Gloria Del Lutheran School250 Fox Hill Rd.851-6292

Hampton Christian Schools2419 North Armistead Ave.838-7427

Hollomoun Child Development and Education Center1520 Todds Lane838-3188

Saint Mary Star of the Sea School14 North Williard Ave.723-6358

Isle of Wight

Isle of Wight Academy357-3866


Newport News

Denbigh Baptist Christian School13010 Mitchell Point Rd.249-2654

Denbigh Christian Academy1233 Shields Rd.874-8661

Hampton Roads AcademyAcademy Lane223-2654

Hampton Roads Montessori School795 Pilot House Dr.873-8950

Orcutt Baptist School653 Baxter Lane249-2323

Our Lady of Mount Carmel School52 Harpersville Rd.596-2754

Peninsula Catholic High School600 Harpersville Rd.596-7247

Saint Andrews Episcopal School45 Main St.596-6261

Trinity Lutheran School6812 River Rd.245-2576

Norfolk

Alpha Beta Cappa Academy7425 Chesapeake Blvd.857-5215

Azalea Garden Christian Academy5160 Beamon Rd.855-3563

Bayview Christian School707 Bayview Blvd.480-9154

Ghent Montessori School610 Mowbray Arch622-8174

Greenhill Farms Academy969 Philpotts Rd.853-0111

Mclea School745 Bancker Rd.587-7841

Norfolk Academy1585 Wesleyan Dr.461-6236

Norfolk Christian Schools255 Thole St.423-5770

Norfolk Collegiate School7336 Granby St.480-1495

Parkdale Private School321 Virginia Dr.583-5989

Ryan Academy of Norfolk844 Jerome Ave.583-7926

Saint Pius X School7800 Halprin Dr.588-6171

Saint Patrick Catholic School6115 Granby Street440-5500

West Ghent School1004 Graydon Ave.622-4403

The Williams School419 Colonial Ave.627-1383

Portsmouth

Alliance Christian Schools5809 Portsmouth Blvd.488-5552

Central Baptist Church Schools1200 Hodges Ferry Rd.488-4477

Christopher Academy3300 Cedar Lane484-6776

Court Street Academy447 Court St.393-2312

Portsmouth Catholic Elementary School2301 Oregon Ave.488-6744

Portsmouth Christian Schools3214 Elliot Ave.393-0725

Sweethaven Christian Academy5000 West Norfolk Rd.484-4082

Smithfi eld

Peninsula Christian School14353 Benn’s Church Blvd.357-3707

Suffolk

First Baptist Christian School237 North Main St.925-0274

Nansemond-Suffolk Academy3373 Pruden Blvd.539-8789


Virginia Beach

Anchor Christian School3624 Dupont Circle460-0024

Atlantic Shores Christian Academy1861 Kempsville Rd.479-1125

Cape Henry Collegiate School1320 Mill Dam Rd.481-2446

Catholic High School4552 Princess Anne Rd.467-2881

Chesapeake Bay Academy821 Baker Rd.497-6200

Courthouse Montessori School and Day Care Center1305 Windmill Point Crescent468-0099

Gateway Christian Schools5473 Virginia Beach Blvd.499-6551

Hebrew Academy5000 Corporate Woods Dr., Ste. 180424-4327

Independence Christian School5000 Corporate Woods Dr., Ste. 180464-2378

Ivy League Academy:520 Constitution Dr.4413 Wishart Rd.499-6064

King’s Grant Day School873 Little Neck Rd.431-9744

Linlier Preschool612 Fremac Dr.428-6565

Open Door Christian Academy3177 Virginia Beach Blvd.340-6683

Saint Gregory the Great School5345 Virginia Beach Blvd.497-1811

Saint Matthew’s School3316 Sandra Lane420-2455

Tabernacle Baptist School717 Whitehurst Landing Rd.420-5696

Virginia Beach Country Day School2100 Harbor Lane481-0111

Virginia Beach Friends School1537 Laskin Rd.428-7534

PUBLIC SCHOOL DISTRICT INFORMATION

Chesapeake547-1033http://eclipse.cps.k12.va.us

Hampton727-2000www.sbo.hampton.k12.va.us

Newport News591-4545http://nnschools.org

Norfolk868-3055www.nps.k12.va.us

Poquoson868-3055www.sbo.poquoson.k12.va.us

Portsmouth393-8743www.pps.k12.va.us

Suffolk925-5500www.sps.k12.va.us

Virginia Beach427-4585www.vbschools.com

Williamsburg & James City County253-6777www.wjcc.k12.va.us

York County898-0300www.yorkcountyschools.org

mytidewatermoms education guide 2005

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