name: web viewshowed that children who were spanked by their mothers actually had consistently...

NAME: ______________________________________ Total Daily Points Earned: ____________/100

Unit Calendar: Persuasive Writing Corporal punishment essay

Points Earned

Mr. Abend’s CommentsPL

ANN

ING

Identified qualities of excellence in the exemplar papers and prioritized two qualities to include in your own writing.

/5

Free wrote about whether or not corporal punishment should be banned in Mississippi and circled at least 3 good ideas from the free write to use in your essay.

/5

Completed an outline with your thesis sentence, three topic sentences, and a conclusion thought.

/10

4

Read the research articles and made 5 complete note cards with information to use in your essay.

/10

DRA

FTIN

G

Drafted your introductory paragraph, focusing on your thesis and using an attention getter. Skipped lines.

/5

Drafted your 1st body paragraph, focusing on the first supporting detail and using formal tone. Skipped lines.

/5

Drafted your 2nd body paragraph, focusing on the second supporting detail and using formal tone. Skipped lines.

/5

Drafted your 3rd body paragraph, focusing on the third supporting detail and using formal tone. Skipped lines.

/5

Drafted your conclusion paragraph, tying all details of the essay together with a call to action and using formal tone. Skipped lines.

/5

REVI

SIN

G

Revised your work by adding two adverbs and two transition words to each body paragraph.

/10

Added/Combined sentences to make sure every paragraph had at least one compound sentence and one complex sentence.

/10

EDIT

ING

12

Edited your work using our class Editor’s Checklist. /10

PU BLI Prepared your essay for publishing by adding a title and

typing or neatly rewriting it./10

Final Essay Rubric Total Final Essay Project Points Earned: ____________/100

Component Target – 4 points Approaching Target – 3 points

Emerging – 2 points Baseline – 1 point

Stating a Thesis

Thesis is explicitly stated within the introduction and establishes a relevant, focused, clearly understood, and arguable claim

Thesis is explicitly stated within the introduction h but is missing one of the key characteristics: relevant, focused, clearly understood, and arguable claim

Thesis is attempted within the introduction but is missing two of the key characteristics: relevant, focused, clearly understood, and arguable claim

No indication of thesis or one is attempted but lacks three of the key characteristics

Supporting and Developing the Thesis/ Argument

Presents appropriate, relevant, and sufficient examples, evidence, and reasons to support the claim

Justifies evidence by summarizing its meaning and articulating how it supports the claim

When applicable, thoughtfully and fairly analyzes and evaluates alternative points of view.

Presents most but not all appropriate and relevant examples, evidence, and reasons to support the claim

Partially justifies evidence by summarizing its meaning but fails to articulate how it supports the claim

When applicable, considers alternative view points but not with sufficient depth

Presents some but not enough appropriate, relevant examples, evidence, and reasons to support the claim

Makes an attempt to justify the evidence but fails to accurately or fully summarize its meaning or articulate how it supports the claim

When applicable, ignores or superficially evaluates obvious alternative points of view

Examples, evidence, and reasons are irrelevant, insufficient in number, or missing

Makes no attempt to justify the evidence or justification is illogical and disconnected from the claim

When applicable, exhibits close-mindedness or hostility to alternative points of view

Organization The order, structure, and/or presentation of information move reader through the essay and build a strong case for the argument

Contains an introduction that hooks the reader, informative body paragraphs, and a satisfying conclusion.

Transitions between paragraphs are logical, purposeful, and natural so that ideas flow smoothly from one to another

Ideas are mostly, but not always, ordered in w ay that builds a strong case for the argument

Includes a beginning, middle, and end but sections do not necessary fulfill the purpose of an introduction, body, or conclusion

Transitions between paragraphs are present but not always purposeful, logical, or natural; they do not impede understanding

An attempt is made to organize ideas within the paragraph, but ideas do not flow logically to build a strong case for the argument

Includes a beginning, middle, and end but sections are not clearly distinguishable in terms of purpose

Transitions between paragraphs may be present but are used incorrectly or sound unnatural, sometimes impeding understanding

Ideas and details seem strung together in a loose or random fashion; there is no identifiable internal structure

The essay may lack an introduction to set up what follows, logical paragraph breaks, and/or a conclusion to wrap things up

Few or no logical transitions

Language and Style

Consistently uses precise vocabulary and strong word choice to convey their ideas

Sentence structures enhance understanding and engage the reader.

Consistently uses an appropriate tone for the task

Uses some precise vocabulary and strong word choice but not consistently

Sentence structures enhance understanding and engage the reader but with occasional awkwardness

Uses an appropriate tone but may lack consistency

Uses words that are dull or uninspired, or tries too hard to impress (possibly using vocabulary incorrectly or out of context)

Sentence structures sometimes hinder understanding and/or result in awkwardness

Demonstrates difficulty in establishing and maintaining an effective tone

Uses words that are dull and/or uninspired, or uses the same words repeatedly

Sentence structures hinder understanding and/or result in awkwardness

Tone is inappropriate for the task

Conventions Few or no errors in grammar, punctuation, and/or spelling

Some errors in grammar, punctuation, and/or spelling, but not enough to hinder reading of essay

Abundant errors in grammar, punctuation, and/or spelling, which are enough to confuse or distract reader

Glaring number of errors in grammar, punctuation, and/or spelling, which distract the reader and impede understanding

Tuesday 3/20 BellringerWrite a sentence in parallel structure about your break:

Define persuade:

Define debate:

Prompt

•The Mississippi Department of Education is considering a law that would ban corporal punishment in school. Think about whether you agree or disagree with this proposal. Write an essay to persuade the state to agree with your viewpoint. Be sure to include specific reasons, details, and/or examples to explain and support your viewpoint.

Rubric

•Thesis: Does your whole essay stick to one clear topic?

•Details: Do you give good reasons for your topic?

•Organization: Do you split your ideas into paragraphs? Do you have a clear intro and conclusion?

•Style: Are you using vivid words and interesting sentences? Are your examples interesting?

•Mechanics: Are your grammar, punctuation and spelling correct?

2-week plan

•Tuesday: Read exemplars, read articles, free write

•Wednesday: Outlining, note taking

•Thursday: Introductions, drafting quiz

•Friday: Conclusions, drafting quiz

•Monday: Adverbs and transitions

•Tuesday: Complex sentences

•Wednesday: Editing/Final drafting

•Thursday: MCT2 Test – research, topic sentences, details, adverbs, transitions, sentence type.

•Friday: Paper Sharing Debate

I. _________________________

Circle the attention getter

Underline the thesis

II. ________________________

Circle transitions

Underline the hypothetical

III. ________________________

Circle transitions

Underline the evidence

IV. ________________________

Circle transitions

Underline evidence

V. ________________________

Underline the “Final Word”

Write down one thing the essay does that you will focus on in your essay:

1. Exemplar “Ban” Essay:

Putting An End to Paddling

THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! It’s the sound of the board on a bottom echoing through the hallways. Is this a scene from some Catholic school in the 1920’s? No! It is from the year 2012 in Mississippi public school. In Mississippi, corporal punishment remains a legal option as a discipline consequence for students from kindergarten through high school. The time has come for a change! I believe the Mississippi Department of Education should ban corporal punishment from schools because it teaches kids a bad lesson, and is ineffective.

First of all, corporal punishment teaches kids that violence is a solution to their problems. Say for example that two 3rd graders get in a fight on the playground. You want to tell these kids that fighting isn’t a good way to solve their problems. If you hit them, then it sends the wrong message. It lets kids think that violence is a solution.

Another reason to ban corporal punishment is because it is not effective. Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Tennessee, Georgia, Texas, Louisiana, Oklahoma, South Carolina and Missouri are the states that most often use corporal punishment. A study of these states that use corporal punishment the most showed that those states had the most murders, dropouts and prisoners. (Article 1, paragraph 3) Clearly, corporal punishment is not fixing the discipline problems.

Other studies also show that corporal punishment has not been shown to improve behavior. A study by the Family Research Laboratory showed that children who were spanked by their mothers actually had consistently worse behavior than those who were not hit. (Article 2, paragraph 6) It is ironic that the punishment that is supposed to stop misbehavior actually makes it worse.

Corporal punishment may have a long history in Mississippi, but it hasn’t been effective at disciplining children. It promotes the idea that violence is a solution and research has shown that it doesn’t improve long term behavior. By passing this ban, the Department of education will be taking a step forward for children all over Mississippi.

Has a ______________ related to the __________________________________

I. _________________________

Circle the attention getter

Underline the thesis

II. ________________________

Circle transitions

Underline the hypothetical

III. ________________________

Circle transitions

Underline the evidence

IV. ________________________

V. ________________________

Underline the “Final Word”

Write down one thing the essay does that you will focus on in your essay:

2. Exemplar “No Ban” Essay

The Payoff of Corporal Punishment

When you open the door, children are shouting, jumping on desks and running around the room. How can any learning be happening in a classroom like this? If we want to get these kids in line, we need to have all punishment options on the table. That should include corporal punishment. The Mississippi Department of Education should reject the ban on corporal punishment because it helps maintain order and doesn’t pose a serious risk to children.

First and foremost, corporal punishment shows a student that their misbehavior will not be tolerated. Imagine that you have been talking in class all day in a school without corporal punishment. Your teacher has given you warnings, consequences, and detentions, but you don’t care because nothing happens if you skip them, so you keep on talking. Now imagine instead that corporal punishment is an option. Is it really worth the pain of getting hit just to keep jabbering to your friends? No! Students who fear corporal punishment are more likely to quiet down and let the teacher teach.

If we give up corporal punishment in Mississippi we will certainly regret it. In one survey from Memphis where corporal punishment has been eliminated, 75% of teachers and administrators favored reinstating corporal punishment. (Article 1) If the teachers’ hands were tied Mississippi the misbehavior of our students would only get worse than it already is.

Opponents argue that corporal punishment is abusive and that kids could get injured. If it is done wrong, that might be true, but a lot of things that are legal could be dangerous if they are done wrong. We don’t get rid of driving just because some people drive drunk. Why get rid of corporal punishment just because some people might abuse it? As long as there is a witness and a clear procedure, abuse can be reported. The real focus should be on stopping the abuse, not all the corporal punishment.

At the end of the day, nobody wants to hit kids. Corporal punishment isn’t about causing pain, it is about making sure the classroom environment is controlled and that kids are learning. If corporal punishment is necessary to do that, then so be it. The Department of Education should reject the ban on corporal punishment so that teachers can maintain discipline and children can get the best education possible.

Has a ____________ related to the __________________

Free Write: Write as much as you can for or against a ban on corporal punishment. If you get stuck, try arguing the other side. Don’t cross anything out or worry about punctuation. This is a way of brainstorming our ideas.

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Name____________________________________________

Bellringer:Read the following paragraph.“Does everyone agree on our idea,” Myra began, “about the project for the fundraiser?” She glanced at a list of duties to be assigned as she continued speaking. “We’ll need two of you to make posters, she said, “and two to gather supplies.” When she had finished the list, she asked, “Are there any questions?”What change corrects a mistake in the paragraph?A. Remove the quotation marks after idea.B. Remove the quotation marks in front of about.C. Add quotation marks after posters.D. Add quotation marks in front of When.NOTES: Today we will be doing some research to help us with our persuasive papers.

Why? 1. 2.

When we research we don’t always need to read the whole article. How do we tell what we are supposed to look for? We want the most persuasive facts that are linked to our main ideas.

When we argue we want to be as smart as possible to convince people that we are right. On the line below we will organize kinds of arguments from most to least convincing.

Marcy is taking notes from various sources for a report on global warming. Read the following information she has found.1. A 1992 report indicated that the main cause of global warming is the burning of fossil fuels, which releases greenhouse gases into the atmosphere.2. A government panel released a series of reports in 2007 documenting its conclusions about the causes and effects of global warming.3. Chevron has made a commitment to reduce its use of energy in an effort to address global warming and is asking the public to follow its example.4. A magazine article encouraged readers to buy environment-friendly green products made from recycled materials to help stop global warming.Marcy evaluated the information from these sources based upon the central idea and the reliability and decided that only one belongs in her report.Which note is the only one Marcy justified as belonging in her report?F. Note 1G. Note 2H. Note 3J. Note 4

Your Possible Main Ideas

Note # 1 Article ______ Main Idea it supports:Quote: Circle what kind of

quote:Study Survey StatisticExample Quotation Reason Fact Description

Note # 2 Article ______ Main Idea it supports:Quote: Circle what kind of


Note #3 Article ______ Main Idea it supports:Quote: Circle what kind of


Note #4 Article ______ Main Idea it supports:Quote: Circle what kind of


Outline

We need to ORGANIZE our ideas!

I. Thesis: _____________________________________________________________________________

II. Body Pgph One, 1st Supporting Detail: _________________________________________________________________

A. Why this is not a problem: ____________________________________________________________________

III. Body Pgph Two, 2nd Supporting Detail: _________________________________________________________________


VI. Body Pgph Three, 3rd Supporting Detail: _______________________________________________________________


V. Conclusion, Call to Action: __________________________________________________________________________

Name_________________________________________

Bellringer: Answer the three questons in the box1. Which of the following words is spelled correctly?F. delirious G. persistence H. miscellaneus J. vengence

What is a transition?

What are three example transition words:1.2.3.

Notes: Transitions are important both __________________________ paragraphs and ________________ of paragraphs. They help the writing ______________________ and help your reader understand the ________________ of each sentence. Transitions are sometimes just one word or phrase, but are more often ____________________.

Marine Park of the Pacific needed a whale for its exhibition. ______________________curators of the ocean museum took a big net with them to the sea. They ________________________ netted a thirteen-foot whale, which pulled their boat six miles back toward the shore. ______________________________the curators put a raft under the whale, towed her to shore, and placed her in a dolphin-size tank. ________________________the whale could swim around easily and could look through portholes at people looking back at her.

Different transitions have different purposes. Think Text Structures.

Compare/Contrast Words

In addition,

Additionally,

Likewise,

Moreover,

Similarly,

…as well as….

Furthermore,

Although

However,

, but

Even so,

Cause/Effect Words

Accordingly,

As a result,

Consequently,

For this reason,

For this purpose,

Hence,

Therefore,

Thus,

Sequential Order words

First/second/third…

After…

Next…

Eventually…

“Example” Words

For example,

For instance,

In particular,

Specifically,

Such as _________

Especially

Is illustrated by _________

Imagine that _________

Activity 1 - Transitions between paragraphs:

Read the first sentence of all of your body paragraphs. Write down the first three words of each body paragraph:

Body I. _________________________________________________________________________________________________

Body II. _________________________________________________________________________________________________

Body III. _________________________________________________________________________________________________

Now think about how you are going to transition between these paragraphs. Re-write the topc sentences of each body paragraph so that it gives the main idea AND transitions between paragraphs.

New Body I. Topic Sentence: ________________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

New Body II. Topic Sentence: ________________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

New Body III. Topic Sentence: ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Activity 2 – Transitions within paragraphs:

Read through your body paragraphs and find at least 2 places to add transitions within the paragraphs. Good places to look are places where you could combine two sentences with a transition, where you can introduce an example or where you are moving from one reason to another.

Cross off this line when you added your first transition

Cross off this line when you added your second transition

Activity 3 – MCT2 Transitions:

Work with a partner to solve the 5 MCT2 transition questions. We will go over them as a class.

Your Answers:

1. F G H J

2. F G H J

3. F G H J

4. F G H J

5. F G H J

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