narrative writing unit - the lancashire grid for learning website
TRANSCRIPT
Narrative Writing Unit
The National Literacy Strategy
2
Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003:
Narrative Writing Unit
Contents
Introduction 3
Framework objectives 6
Unit plan for weeks 1 and 2 7
Unit plan for week 3 8
Resource sheets1. Lesson notes for week 1, days 1 and 2 10
2. Narrative framework for writing 12
3. Examples of types of narrative writing 13
4. Checklists for effective narrative writing 14
5. OHT Mac’s short adventure 16
6. Annotations for analysis: Mac’s short adventure 21
7. Planning frame for Bloddon’s adventure 26
8. Demonstration-writing: Bloddon’s adventure 27
9a. OHT Child’s writing 32
9b. Annotated Child’s writing 33
9c. OHT Second child’s writing 34
9d. Annotated Second child’s writing 35
10a. OHT Birdman 36
10b. Annotated Birdman 37
11. Character web 38
12a. OHT Mrs Wentleberry 39
12b. Annotated Mrs Wentleberry 40
13a. OHT Warehouse setting 41
13b. Annotated Warehouse setting 42
14a. OHT Action opening 43
14b. Annotated Action opening 44
14c. OHT ending of Action story 45
14d. Demonstration-writing: middle of Action story 46
14e. Annotated middle of Action story 47
The National Literacy Strategy
3
Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003:
Narrative Writing Unit
IntroductionPreparation for this unit
Prior to teaching this unit, it would be helpful for teachers to be familiar with the mark scheme for
the 2003 Key Stage 2 writing test. Changes to assessment 2003: sample material for Key Stages
1 and 2 has been sent to all schools as a booklet and is also on the QCA website with some
additional sample material www.qca.org.uk/ca/tests/2003sample.
The assessment focuses in the 2003 mark scheme are drawn together under strands: sentence
construction and punctuation, text structure and organisation, composition and effect. These
are the elements of writing covered by the word, sentence and text level objectives in the NLS
Framework for teaching.
Sentence construction and punctuation
• vary sentences for clarity, purpose and effect
• write with technical accuracy of syntax and punctuation in phrases, clauses and sentences
Text structure and organisation
• organise and present whole texts effectively, sequencing and structuring information, ideas
and events
• construct paragraphs and use cohesion within and between paragraphs
Composition and effect
• write imaginative, interesting and thoughtful texts
• produce texts which are appropriate to task, reader and purpose
The two word-level focuses are
• select appropriate and effective vocabulary
• use correct spelling
The vocabulary focus is assessed through all the three strands and the spelling focus is
assessed through a separate spelling test.
Changes to assessment 2003: guidance for teachers (KS2 English) has also been sent to all
schools. In order to understand the mark scheme, this booklet suggests
• comparing the 2002 sample materials with test papers from previous years
• using a script of a longer writing task in the sample materials on the website, cutting up the
annotated notes and matching them to the appropriate places in the script, e.g. the narrative
prompt A New World would be particularly helpful as preparation for this unit
• applying the strands from the mark scheme to the scripts
• giving the children a sample longer task using a prompt from the website, e.g. A New World,
and marking a selection of the stories with a colleague using the 2003 mark scheme.
The National Literacy Strategy
4
Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003:
Narrative Writing Unit
The unit
In this narrative unit, the resources for analysing texts and for demonstrating writing have been
annotated under the three strand headings: sentence construction and punctuation, text
structure and organisation, composition and effect. The unit extends children’s understanding of
effective narrative writing by analysing and writing each of the five parts of a narrative text:
opening, build-up, dilemma, events and resolution/ending and supporting the children in writing
their own narrative. While analysing the text and participating in demonstration lessons the
children will learn how to construct sentences and paragraphs to achieve the effects needed to
interest the reader. In the plenary, the teacher will have the opportunity to respond to the
children’s writing with the three assessment strands in mind.
During the first two weeks of the unit, two days will be spent on each element of narrative
as shown:
The third week of the unit is an opportunity for children to write some aspects of narrative such
as setting and characterisation in more detail.
Resources
The resources for weeks 1 and 2 include lesson notes for the first two days of the unit, general
material on narrative structure, texts for analysis and texts to use to demonstrate writing. All the
texts are annotated to show the effective features of the texts. These are notes for the teacher to
use as support during the analysis of the text with the children and as points to bring out during
demonstration-writing. (There is an alternative set of materials in Year 6 Planning Exemplification 1
2001–2002 in the publications section on www.standards.dfes/literacy.)
Resources for week 3 of the unit include a number of shorter texts for analysis and
demonstration-writing as well as two pieces of writing by children for assessment purposes.
Day Teaching/learning Element of narrative
1 Read and analyse text opening
2 Apply this knowledge in demonstration and independent writing
3 Read and analyse text build-up
4 Apply this knowledge in demonstration and independent writing
5 Read and analyse text dilemma
6 Apply this knowledge in demonstration and independent writing
7 Read and analyse text events
8 Apply this knowledge in demonstration and independent writing
9 Read and analyse text resolution and ending
10 Apply this knowledge in demonstration and independent writing
Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003:
Narrative Writing Unit
The National Literacy Strategy
5
Resource Purposesheets
1 Lesson notes for days 1 and 2
2 Narrative framework for writing. This shows the five typical stages in narrativewriting and could be enlarged as a poster.
3 Examples of types of narrative. This shows the variations within the fivenarrative stages.
4 Checklists for effective narrative writing. These are intended for teacherreference only. Children should extract the features of effective narrativewriting from the texts they analyse and compile their own classroom checklistwith the teacher. The teacher can refer to Resource sheet 4 to ensure that thechildren have found all the features.
5a–e OHTs of story in five parts: Mac’s short adventure
6a–e Mac’s short adventure in five parts, annotated to show the effective featuresof narrative writing under three strand headings: sentence construction andpunctuation, text structure and organisation, composition and effect. Somewords which might be difficult to spell are also identified.
7 Planning frame for Bloddon’s adventure
8a–e Story for demonstration-writing, Bloddon’s adventure, in five parts, annotatedwith the effective features which can be identified by the teacher as he/she iswriting the story with the children. Some words which might be difficult tospell are also identified.
9a–d Children’s writing for assessment
10a–b Writing a character
11 Writing a character
12a–b Writing a character
13a–b Writing a setting
14a–e Writing an action story
Word level workWord level teaching and learning is incorporated into the work on analysis of text (e.g. meaning
and spelling of connectives) and into shared, guided and independent writing. However, focused
spelling, like mental maths, needs concentrated daily attention so that writing words correctly
with a fluent hand is automatic and children’s cognitive capacity is released to attend to the
content and form of their writing. Ten minutes at the beginning of the literacy hour every day can
be spent on sharpening up children’s spelling knowledge.
The Booster Lessons for 2002–2003 contain a revision programme for spelling and can be
downloaded from www.standards.dfes.gov.uk/literacy from January 2003.
The National Literacy Strategy
6
Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003:
Narrative Writing Unit
Framework objectivesWeeks 1 and 2Year 6 Term 1Text7. to plan quickly and effectively the plot, characters and structure of their own narrative writing;
Sentence1. to revise from Y5:
• re-expressing sentences in a different order;4. to investigate connecting words and phrases:
• collect examples from reading and thesauruses;• study how points are typically connected in different kinds of text;• classify useful examples for different kinds of text – for example, by position (besides, nearby, by);
sequence (firstly, secondly . . . ); logic (therefore, so, consequently);• identify connectives which have multiple purposes (e.g. on, under, besides);
5. to form complex sentences through, e.g.:• using different connecting devices;• reading back complex sentences for clarity of meaning, and adjusting as necessary;• evaluating which links work best;• exploring how meaning is affected by the sequence and structure of clauses;
Word1. to identify mis-spelt words in own writing; to keep individual lists (e.g. spelling logs); to learn to spell them;2. to use known spellings as a basis for spelling other words with similar patterns or related meanings;3. to use independent spelling strategies, including:
• building up spelling by syllabic parts, using known prefixes, suffixes and common letter strings;• applying knowledge of spelling rules and exceptions;• building words from other known words, and from awareness of the meaning or derivations of words;• using dictionaries and IT spell-checks;• using visual skills, e.g. recognising common letter strings and checking critical features (i.e. does it look
right, shape, length, etc.);4. revise and extend work on spelling patterns for unstressed vowels in polysyllabic words from Year 5 term 3;6. to investigate meanings and spellings of connectives: therefore, notwithstanding, furthermore, etc.; link to
sentence level work on connectives;
Week 3Year 6 Term 2Text10. to use different genres as models to write, e.g. short extracts, sequels, additional episodes, alternative
endings, using appropriate conventions, language;
Sentence13. to revise work on complex sentences:
• identifying main clauses;• ways of connecting clauses;• constructing complex sentences;• appropriate use of punctuation;
Word1. to identify mis-spelt words in own writing; to keep individual lists (e.g. spelling logs); to learn to spell them;2. to use known spellings as a basis for spelling other words with similar patterns or related meanings;3. to use independent spelling strategies, including:
• building up spelling by syllabic parts, using known prefixes, suffixes and common letter strings;• applying knowledge of spelling rules and exceptions;• building words from other known words, and from awareness of the meaning or derivations of words;• using dictionaries and IT spell-checks;• using visual skills, e.g. recognising common letter strings and checking critical features (i.e. does it look
right, shape, length, etc.);
The National Literacy Strategy
7
Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003:
Narrative Writing Unit
Sha
red
read
ing:
ana
lyse
and
ann
otat
e tw
oex
amp
les/
crea
te c
heck
list
Op
enin
g –
intr
od
ucin
g c
hara
cter
s
Sha
red
writ
ing
– te
ache
r dem
onst
ratio
n us
ing
chec
klis
t O
pen
ing
– in
tro
duc
ing
cha
ract
ers
Sha
red
read
ing:
ana
lyse
and
ann
otat
e tw
oex
amp
les/
crea
te c
heck
list
Bui
ld-u
p –
est
ablis
hing
set
ting
Sha
red
writ
ing
– te
ache
r dem
onst
ratio
n us
ing
chec
klis
tB
uild
-up
– e
stab
lishi
ng s
etti
ng
Sha
red
read
ing:
ana
lyse
and
ann
otat
e tw
oex
amp
les/
crea
te c
heck
list
Dile
mm
a
Sha
red
writ
ing
– te
ache
r dem
onst
ratio
n us
ing
chec
klis
tD
ilem
ma
Sha
red
read
ing:
ana
lyse
and
ann
otat
e tw
oex
amp
les/
crea
te c
heck
list
Rea
ctio
n –
even
ts
Sha
red
writ
ing
– te
ache
r dem
onst
ratio
n us
ing
chec
klis
tR
eact
ion
– ev
ents
Sha
red
read
ing:
ana
lyse
and
ann
otat
e tw
oex
amp
les/
crea
te c
heck
list
Res
olu
tio
n an
d e
ndin
g
Sha
red
writ
ing
– te
ache
r dem
onst
ratio
n us
ing
chec
klis
tR
eso
luti
on
and
end
ing
Wee
kD
ay 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
1 2
Sha
red
text
and
sen
tenc
e le
vel
Gui
ded
rea
din
g/w
riti
ngIn
dep
end
ent w
ork
Wor
king
in p
airs
, ana
lyse
the
open
ings
of o
ther
sho
rt s
torie
s an
dex
tend
the
chec
klis
t
Wor
king
ind
epen
den
tly, a
pp
ly th
ech
eckl
ist t
o w
rite
an o
pen
ing
Wor
king
in s
mal
l gro
ups,
ana
lyse
the
bui
ld-u
p a
nd s
ettin
g of
oth
er s
hort
stor
ies
and
ext
end
the
chec
klis
t
Wor
king
ind
ivid
ually
, ap
ply
the
chec
klis
t to
bui
ld a
sto
ry
Wor
king
in p
airs
, ana
lyse
the
dile
mm
aof
oth
er s
hort
sto
ries
and
ext
end
the
chec
klis
t
Wor
king
ind
ivid
ually
, ap
ply
the
chec
klis
t to
crea
te a
dile
mm
a
Wor
king
in p
airs
, ana
lyse
the
reac
tion/
even
ts o
f oth
er s
hort
sto
ries
and
ext
end
the
chec
klis
t
Wor
king
ind
ivid
ually
, ap
ply
the
chec
klis
t rel
ate
the
even
ts
Wor
king
in s
mal
l gro
ups,
ana
lyse
the
reso
lutio
n an
d e
ndin
g of
oth
er s
hort
stor
ies
and
ext
end
the
chec
klis
t
Wor
king
ind
ivid
ually
, ap
ply
the
chec
klis
t to
reso
lve/
end
a s
tory
Chi
ldre
n co
ntrib
ute
to th
e cl
ass
chec
klis
t of f
eatu
res
of e
ffect
ive
open
ings
Chi
ldre
n’s
wor
k is
eva
luat
ed
agai
nst t
he c
heck
list a
nd th
e th
ree
writ
ing
stra
nds
(see
Intr
oduc
tion)
Con
trib
ute
to th
e cl
ass
chec
klis
t –
bui
ld-u
ps
Wor
k ev
alua
ted
aga
inst
che
cklis
t
Con
trib
ute
to th
e cl
ass
chec
klis
t –
dile
mm
a
Wor
k ev
alua
ted
aga
inst
che
cklis
t
Con
trib
ute
to th
e cl
ass
chec
klis
t –
reac
tions
Wor
k ev
alua
ted
aga
inst
che
cklis
t
Con
trib
ute
to th
e cl
ass
chec
klis
t –
reso
lutio
ns
Wor
k ev
alua
ted
aga
inst
che
cklis
t
Ple
nary
Nar
rativ
e w
ritin
g:un
it pl
an fo
r wee
ks 1
and
2
The National Literacy Strategy
8
Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003:
Narrative Writing Unit
Sha
red
rea
din
g
Rea
d a
nd a
sses
s sh
ort d
escr
iptio
ns o
f an
inci
den
t writ
ten
by
two
child
ren
(Res
ourc
e sh
eets
9a
to 9
d).
Dis
cuss
the
effe
ctiv
ean
d le
ss e
ffect
ive
feat
ures
. Set
a fr
esh
imag
inar
y in
cid
ent t
od
escr
ibe
succ
inct
ly d
urin
g in
dep
end
ent t
ime.
Sha
red
rea
din
g a
nd w
riti
ng
Ana
lyse
and
ann
otat
e ch
arac
ter d
escr
iptio
n (R
esou
rce
shee
ts10
a an
d 1
0b).
Cre
ate
web
to s
upp
ort c
hara
cter
cre
atio
n(R
esou
rce
shee
t 11)
. Dem
onst
rate
writ
ing
par
t of d
escr
iptio
n(R
esou
rce
shee
ts 1
2a a
nd 1
2b).
Dis
cuss
key
feat
ures
of e
ffect
ive
char
acte
r des
crip
tion.
Sha
red
rea
din
g a
nd w
riti
ngA
naly
se a
nd a
nnot
ate
beg
inni
ng o
f a s
ettin
g (R
esou
rce
shee
ts13
a an
d 1
3b).
Dem
onst
rate
writ
ing
the
rest
of t
he s
ettin
g(R
esou
rce
shee
t 13b
). D
iscu
ss k
ey fe
atur
es o
f effe
ctiv
e se
ttin
gs.
Sha
red
rea
din
g a
nd w
riti
ngA
naly
se a
nd a
nnot
ate
the
beg
inni
ng o
f an
actio
n st
ory
(Res
ourc
e sh
eets
14a
and
14b
). D
emon
stra
te w
ritin
g th
e re
st o
fth
e st
ory’
s op
enin
g (R
esou
rce
shee
t 14b
). D
iscu
ss k
ey fe
atur
esof
effe
ctiv
e ac
tion
open
ings
.
Sha
red
rea
din
g a
nd w
riti
ngR
emin
d p
upils
of a
ctio
n op
enin
g of
Jud
e st
ory,
then
qui
ckly
read
the
end
ing
(Res
ourc
e sh
eet 1
4c).
Rea
d a
loud
the
beg
inni
ng o
fth
e m
idd
le s
ectio
n of
the
stor
y (R
esou
rce
shee
t 14d
) the
nd
emon
stra
te w
ritin
g th
e re
st o
f thi
s m
idd
le p
art o
f Jud
e’s
adve
ntur
e (R
esou
rce
shee
ts 1
4d a
nd 1
4e).
Day 1 2 3 4 5
Sha
red
text
and
sen
tenc
e le
vel
Gui
ded
Ind
epen
den
t wo
rk
Writ
e a
brie
f cle
ar d
escr
iptio
n of
the
inci
den
t.
Thin
k of
an
imag
inar
y ch
arac
ter
and
writ
e a
des
crip
tion,
usi
ngch
arac
ter w
eb a
s su
pp
ort.
Cho
ose
a se
ttin
g an
d c
omp
ose
own
stor
y op
enin
g b
ased
on
anef
fect
ive
sett
ing.
Writ
e ow
n ac
tion
open
ing
to
a st
ory.
Cre
ate
an a
ltern
ativ
e m
idd
lese
ctio
n to
Jud
e’s
stor
y, th
at w
ould
fit w
ith th
e op
enin
g an
d th
een
din
g.
Ass
ess
a ch
ild’s
writ
ing
agai
nst
the
key
feat
ures
dis
cuss
ed in
shar
ed s
essi
on.
In p
airs
, ass
ess
each
oth
er’s
wor
kw
ith re
fere
nce
to e
arlie
rd
iscu
ssio
ns in
sha
red
ses
sion
.
Ass
ess
a ch
ild’s
writ
ing
agai
nst
the
key
feat
ures
dis
cuss
ed in
shar
ed s
essi
on.
In p
airs
, ass
ess
each
oth
er’s
wor
kag
ains
t the
key
feat
ures
dis
cuss
ed in
sha
red
ses
sion
.
Refl
ect o
n th
e w
eek’
s le
arni
ng,
sum
mar
isin
g th
e d
iffer
ent t
ypes
of
writ
ing
and
the
key
feat
ures
of
eac
h.
Ple
nary
Nar
rativ
e w
ritin
g: u
nit p
lan
for w
eek
3
Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003:
Narrative Writing Unit
Resources
The National Literacy Strategy
10
Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003:
Narrative Writing Unit
Lesson notes for week 1, days 1 and 2Day 1Shared reading – analysis of opening
• Tell the children that they will be writing an adventure story over the next two weeks. Briefly
remind them of the five elements of a simple problem/resolution narrative – opening,
build-up, dilemma, events, resolution. It is a good idea to have these words prominently
displayed (Resource sheet 2). Tell them that you will be investigating examples of each
element, reading as writers, and then you will show them how to write each element before
they have a go themselves.
• Ask the children what types of opening they know (dialogue, setting, question, warning,
dramatic, etc.) and what they know about writing good openings to stories. List some of the
criteria they offer in a checklist, e.g. draw the reader into the story quickly, begin to build up
the main character, use an early hook to catch the reader’s interest. Explain that many
openings will combine several aspects.
• Put up an enlarged text of opening paragraph of a story, e.g. The Subtle Knife by Philip
Pullman (Scholastic, 1997), the second book in his fantasy adventure trilogy. Discuss what it
hints at, how it draws the reader in and how there are the elements of plot, character and
setting interwoven in the introductory paragraph. Add to the checklist if necessary.
• Repeat with the opening of Mac’s short adventure (Resource sheet 5a). Discuss this opening
(see Resource sheet 6a) and then review the criteria which ‘grab the reader’ (see Resource
sheet 4).
• Discuss how the characters are introduced and how the author portrays character, e.g.
through what they say and do, viewed through the eyes of an onlooker. Begin to create a list
of criteria for effective characterisation.
Independent work
Give the children more examples of openings to analyse in pairs. These could be taken from
guided reading books and this would provide some differentiation. Ask the children to categorise
the openings and be ready to explain the strategies the writer uses to show character.
Plenary
• Complete the list of criteria from any new points the children have decided from the
independent activity.
• Ask the children to discuss with their partners the type of openings they like best and the one
they would like to try.
• Show the children the planning frame for the quest story you will be beginning the following
day (Resource sheet 7). Explain how the basis for this sort of story is losing something, as in
Mac’s adventure, or deciding to go off and discover something. In this story the dwarfs need a
herb and someone has to go off into the wilds to find it. The plot aims towards an ending in
which the characters in the story find what they are looking for. So our job as writers is to get
the characters off on their journey, give them an interesting time and get them back again safe
and sound! To make it a good read, the reader needs to be able to visualise the characters
and the setting as the plot develops. In this story the dwarf takes his pet with him, loses the
map, is rescued and gets home with the herb.
• Ask them to think about their own idea for an adventure that involves two friends going to find
something and write down their ideas in a planning frame before tomorrow.
Resource sheet 1
Lesson notes for days 1 and 2
Resource sheet 1 (continued)
Lesson notes for days 1 and 2
The National Literacy Strategy
11
Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003:
Narrative Writing Unit
Day 2Shared writing – demonstration
• Display the planning frame for the story, Bloddon’s adventure (Resource sheet 7). Tell the
children that you are going to write the beginning of the story for them today and complete it
over the next two weeks.
• Using the notes on Resource sheet 8a, demonstrate how to write the opening by introducing
the characters, establishing a setting and getting the plot moving quickly. Explain what you
are doing while you are doing it – or ask the children why they think you are doing it! Ask them
to look at the checklist to see which techniques you are using. (The Grammar for writing video
shows a Year 6 teacher doing this – time code 1:16:11.)
• Tell the children that they will be writing the opening of their own story in independent time.
Give them two or three minutes to show their partner, and talk about, their plans for an
adventure story that involves two friends going to find something.
Independent/guided work
• Ask the children to choose one of the sorts of openings they thought was particularly
effective and write one or two paragraphs to start the story off. They should establish the
characters by referring to the checklist. They must also remember to give an idea of the
setting and get the story moving as the examples showed. Ask one or two children to write
theirs on overhead transparency so that it can be shared with the class in the plenary session.
• Before the end of the session, allow the children to share their work with their response
partners and allow time for individual checking.
Plenary
Discuss the opening paragraphs written on the transparencies. Ask the children to identify the
features of effective writing. Identify appropriate use of connectives. It is important to deal with
positive aspects of the writing before suggestions are given for possible improvement.
Continuing the unit
Days 3 and 4 follow the same pattern. In shared writing on day 3, analyse the next part of
Mac’s short adventure (build-up). During independent time, ask the children to analyse the next
part of a story they started to analyse on day 1. On day 4, demonstrate the second part (the
build-up) of Bloddon’s adventure. In independent time, ask the children to continue writing the
second part of their own stories.
Continue in the same way through days 5/6, 7/8 and 9/10. Some sections of Bloddon’s
adventure might be too long to demonstration-write in front of the children so write up the first
part of the section in advance and discuss the features of this before continuing to demonstrate
the rest.
The National Literacy Strategy
12
Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003:
Narrative Writing Unit
Resource sheet 2
OHT Narrative framework
Narrative framework for writing
Opening + setting or character
Build-up+ character or setting
Dilemma
Events
Resolution and ending
The National Literacy Strategy
13
Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003:
Narrative Writing Unit
Resource sheet 3
Examples of types of narrative writing
Examples of types of narrative
OPENING
BUILD-UP
DILEMMA
EVENTS
RESOLUTION and ENDING
Task established – to find something.Begin establishingcharacters/setting
Introducescharacters/setting;story gets going
Warning not to do
something, e.g. do
not play by the canal. Begin establishingcharacters/setting
Establishessetting/characters.Characters start to do something – and get tempted, e.g. they make theirway to the canal
Do the thing theyhave been warnednot to do, e.g. play by the canal
Struggle to savethemselves from the anticipatedconsequence, e.g.one falls in
Succeed in gettingaway, surviving, e.g. friend drags theother one out
Final commentprobably from theperson who gaveinitial warning, e.g.Mum who finds themsoaking wet
Establishessetting/characters.Characters start to do something – all appears to begoing well
Suspense section –something starts to happen
Options: • they run, and
possibly getchased
• they investigate and get close
Options:• nothing after all• chasing/fighting off
something• finding something
unexpected
Final comment
Establishessetting/characters.Characters set offand overcomeobstacles en route
Options:• can’t find it• can’t get in• get trapped• get chased
Struggle andovercome eachproblem
Arrive back at start –
task accomplished.
Final comment
Quest Suspense Warning
The National Literacy Strategy
14
Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003:
Narrative Writing Unit
Checklists for effective narrative writing1. Opening/setting scene or introducing characters
Some possible options for opening a story ‘to grab the reader’
• using dialogue, e.g. a warning given by one character to another
• asking the reader a question
• describing some strange behaviour of one of the characters
• using a dramatic exclamation (Help!) or dramatic event
• introducing something intriguing
Techniques for introducing characters
• using an interesting name
• limiting description on how the character feels, e.g. sad, lonely, angry or what they are,
e.g. bossy, shy
• relying on portraying character through action and dialogue
• using powerful verbs to show how a character feels and behaves, e.g. muttered, ambled
• giving the thoughts and reactions of other characters
• revealing the characters’ own thoughts and ideas
2. Build-up/creating setting
• making the characters do something
• using detail based on sense impressions – what can be seen, heard, smelt, touched
or tasted
• basing settings on known places plus some invented detail
• using real or invented names to bring places alive – to help to make the setting more real
and more believable
• creating atmosphere, e.g. what is hidden, what is dangerous, what looks unusual, what is
out of place
• using the weather, time of day and season as well as place
• lulling the reader into a false sense of security that all is well
3. Dilemma
• introducing a problem
• using ‘empty’ words, e.g. ‘someone’ to create suspense
• using short sentences to be dramatic
• strengthening nouns and verbs rather than adding adjectives and adverbs
• employing suspense words such as ‘suddenly’, ‘without warning’
• drawing the reader in by asking a question
• occasionally breaking the sentence rule by using a fragment to emphasise a point,
e.g. ‘Silence!’
• varying sentence openings by sometimes starting with an adverb, e.g. ‘Carefully’; a
prepositional phrase, e.g. ‘At the end of the street’; a subordinate clause, e.g. ‘Although
she was tired, Vanya . . . ’ or ‘Swinging his stick in the air, he . . . ’
• delaying the revealing of the ‘monster’ by shadows, sounds, etc.
• using ominous sounds, darkness or cold to build the tension
Resource sheet 4
Checklists for effective narrative writing
The National Literacy Strategy
15
Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003:
Narrative Writing Unit
Resource sheet 4 (continued)
Checklists for effective narrative writing
4. Reaction/events
• building on many of the techniques already used in the earlier part of the story
• varying sentences structures by using longer sentence to get a rhythm going to
describe the increasing tension as events unfold
• using alliteration and short sentences to portray sounds within the action
• using metaphor and simile to help paint the scene and describe the feelings of
the characters
• introducing further possible complications, using connecting words and phrases
such as ‘unfortunately . . . ’ or ‘what he hadn’t noticed was . . . ’
5. Resolution and ending
Techniques for resolving the dilemma
• allowing help to arrive in an unexpected form, such as ‘It was at that moment that . . . ’
• making the character(s) do something unexpected
• showing that the problem/dilemma was only in the characters’ minds and not real
• allowing the character some extra effort to overcome the problem
• only resolving a part of the dilemma so the characters learn a lesson for the future
Some possible options for closing a story
• making a comment about the resolution
• using dialogue – a comment from one of the characters
• using a question
• making a mysterious remark
• telling the reader to remember or do something
• showing how a character has changed
• using one word or an exclamation
• avoiding clichés such as ‘The end’ or ‘They all lived happily ever after’ unless it is a
fabrication of a traditional story
• reflecting on events and perhaps providing a moral
• allowing the main character to think aloud
• introducing an element of mystery, e.g. ‘Vanya would never know how lucky she was
that . . . ’
• looking to the future
• revisiting where the story began
The National Literacy Strategy
16
Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003:
Narrative Writing Unit Opening
Mac’s Short Adventure
Winston watched rain pelt down the windowpanes in icy cold needles. He sighed.
“This is just typical! School holidays and it rains!”
His younger sister, Hannah, didn’t answer andcarried on rolling around the floor with Grandma’sdog, Mac, barking excitedly at her ankles.
A moment later, a key turned in the latch,the door opened and 16-year-old Sophie,headphones glued as usual to her ears, boundedupstairs shouting as she went, “Stay at the door,Trace, right.”
Mac certainly needed no second chance andwas out of the lounge and into the garden beforeHannah could get to her feet.
“You idiot, Sophe!” Winston yelled pointlesslyat the retreating figure. “We’re supposed to keephim in. He doesn’t know his way around this endof town.”
Resource sheet 5a
OHT for analysis
The National Literacy Strategy
17
Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003:
Narrative Writing Unit Build-up
Resource sheet 5b
OHT for analysis
Grabbing two coats, Hannah joined her brotheron the step, just in time to see the black and whitedog squeeze through an impossibly small gap in thehedge and start an easy amble up the road.
“No time to leave a note to Mum,” Winstondecided, taking charge. “Let’s get him. The lastthing Grandma needs to know when she’s inhospital is that we’ve lost her dog. Blasted thing!”he added under his breath. “Tell Sophe,” he ordered a surprised looking Tracey. “And tell her it’sall her fault!”
Splashing through puddles, the two childrenrushed towards Mac. That was probably the worstthing to do because he decided they had come out to play a game. Wagging his tail vigorously and sending sprays of water onto the legs of apasser-by, he raced off towards the park.
“We’ll get him,” Hannah said confidently. “He’sonly got little legs.”
“He’s doing all right on them, though,” Winstonpuffed, rounding the corner to see Mac turn downyet another street. “I just wish it would stop raining.My glasses are covered. I can’t see properly.”
Mac led his pursuers towards the gateway to thetown park and set off at once towards the duckpond. He’d not had so much fun for years.
Winston and Hannah were close behind butcannoned round the corner straight into a womanpushing a pram.
“Watch where you’re going,” she yelled, stumblingbut grabbing the handle.
“Sorry,” they mumbled. Hannah got up andexamined her cut knee. She looked as if she wasgoing to cry.
“I can’t see Mac any more,” Winston announcedwhen the woman had gone on her way. “I thoughtwe’d catch up with him by the ducks.”
A few minutes of racing along the sodden paths in the park, finally convinced the children that theyhad lost Mac. But they could not give up yet.Grandma. Winston was keen to keep trying. Hannahwanted to report him missing to the police. They bothwished their Mum was with them. While arguingabout the best course of action, they left the park and made their way up the High Street.
“We’re never going to find him by ourselves,”Hannah persisted. “I bet he’s frightened now, poorlittle thing.”
“I should hope he is!” Winston said, ratherunkindly. “Look at the trouble he’s put us to! Oh look,”he yelled. “A bus! Come on! Let’s go home and phone Mum.” Before Hannah could argue, he hadpulled his sister onto the bus and paid their fares.
The National Literacy Strategy
18
Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003:
Narrative Writing Unit Dilemma
Resource sheet 5c
OHT for analysis
The National Literacy Strategy
19
Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003:
Narrative Writing Unit Events
Resource sheet 5d
OHT for analysis
Later, Hannah did try to tell him that she hadsaid the bus was going the wrong way but by thenit was much too late. They both realised they weregoing east instead of west, miles away from theirown estate.
Hannah burst into tears. “I’m SO fed up,” shesobbed. “AND I’m cold. AND I’m scared becausewe’ll be in REAL trouble now. We’ve lost Mac!”Winston tried to cheer her up but he’d never beenvery good at that anyway! The bus turned a cornerinto a small estate of retirement bungalows.
“Oh look,” said Winston. “Grandma’s house.Oh –” and his voice trailed off as he gazed inamazement at a small, very wet and bedraggledblack and white dog sitting on the doorstep,waiting patiently.
The National Literacy Strategy
20
Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003:
Narrative Writing Unit Ending
The children tumbled off the bus at the nextstop and charged back up the road.
“Mac!” shrieked Hannah, “we found you! Youclever old thing. You came home.”
“I suppose he cut along by the old canal,”Winston said, “and that’s how he got here soquickly. Poor Mac. He must miss Grandma. Let’sget him home and dry him off.”
They didn’t have to wait long for another bus – this time going the right way – and were in thekitchen rubbing Mac dry when the phone rang. Itwas Grandma.
“They let me have the trolley phone by my bed,”she explained. “I just had to ring and see if poorold Mac is alright. I’m so worried about him.”
Winston and Hannah looked at each other.Winston shook his head. Hannah nodded.
“Oh you mustn’t worry, Grandma,” Hannah saidbrightly. “He’s had a lovely day. No trouble at all!”
Resource sheet 5c
OHT for analysis
Resource sheet 5e
OHT for analysis
The National Literacy Strategy
21
Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003:
Narrative Writing Unit
Resource sheet 5c
OHT for analysis
Resource sheet 6a
Annotations for analysis
Sen
ten
ce s
tru
ctu
re a
nd
pu
nct
uat
ion
Op
enin
gTe
xt s
tru
ctu
re a
nd
org
anis
atio
n
Mac
’s S
ho
rt A
dve
ntu
re
Win
ston
wa
tche
d ra
in p
elt d
own
the
win
dow
pane
s in
icy
cold
nee
dles
.He
sigh
ed.
“Thi
s is
just
typi
cal!
Sch
ool h
olid
ays
and
it ra
ins!
”H
is y
oung
er s
iste
r,H
anna
h,di
dn’t
answ
er a
ndca
rrie
d on
rol
ling
arou
nd th
e flo
or w
ith G
rand
ma’
sdo
g,M
ac,b
arki
ng e
xcite
dly
at h
er a
nkle
s.A
mom
ent l
ate
r,a
key
turn
ed in
the
latc
h,th
e do
or o
pene
d an
d 16
-yea
r-ol
d S
ophi
e,he
adph
ones
glu
ed a
s us
ual t
o he
r ea
rs,b
ound
edup
stai
rs s
hout
ing
as s
he w
ent,
“Sta
y a
t the
doo
r,Tr
ace,
right
.”M
ac c
erta
inly
nee
ded
no s
econ
d ch
ance
and
was
out
of
the
loun
ge a
nd in
to th
e ga
rden
bef
ore
Han
nah
coul
d ge
t to
her
feet
.“Y
ou id
iot,
Sop
he!”
Win
ston
yel
led
poin
tless
lya
t the
ret
rea
ting
figur
e.“W
e’re
sup
pose
d to
kee
phi
m in
.He
does
n’t k
now
his
way
aro
und
this
end
ofto
wn.
”
Com
mas
sep
arat
ing
nam
es
Com
plex
sen
tenc
e co
ntai
ning
sho
rtph
rase
s an
d clau
ses
to in
dica
te S
ophi
e’ssp
eed
of m
ovem
ent.
Cla
use,
mar
ked
byco
mm
as,d
ropp
ed in
to s
ente
nce
to p
rovi
dequ
ick
pict
ure
of S
ophi
e
Sto
ry o
peni
ng:se
ttin
gS
uch
a bo
ring
set
ting
sug
gest
s th
atso
met
hing
mig
ht b
e go
ing
to h
appe
n
Voc
abul
ary
– v
erbs
and
adve
rbs
– (
shad
ed) cho
sen
to d
escr
ibe
acti
ons
prec
isely
Cha
ract
ers
quickl
y es
tabl
ishe
d:W
inst
on b
y hi
s wor
ds,a
nd t
he t
wo
girl
s by
the
ir a
ctio
ns
Phr
ase
conn
ecti
ng t
he t
wo
para
grap
hs
Plo
t ge
ts u
nder
way
.Dile
mm
ain
trod
uced
.Rea
son
for
prob
lem
Co
mp
osi
tio
n a
nd
eff
ect
Col
loqu
ial s
peec
h to
por
tray
cha
ract
er o
fte
enag
er
in a
hur
ry c
omm
andi
ng a
clo
se fr
iend
and
to
indi
cate
the
rela
tions
hip
ofW
inst
on w
ith h
is s
iste
r.
Sp
ellin
gce
rtai
nly
– ‘c
’and
‘ai’
does
n’t–
con
trac
tion
of‘n
ot’
answ
er–
‘w’
exci
tedl
y–
‘x’a
nd ‘c
’
The National Literacy Strategy
22
Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003:
Narrative Writing Unit
Gra
bbin
g tw
o co
ats
,Han
nah
join
ed h
er b
roth
eron
the
step
,jus
t in
time
to s
ee th
e bl
ack
and
whi
tedo
g sq
ueez
e th
roug
h an
impo
ssib
ly s
mal
l gap
in th
ehe
dge
and
star
t an
easy
am
ble
up th
e ro
ad.
“No
time
to le
ave
a no
te to
Mum
,”W
inst
onde
cide
d,ta
king
cha
rge.
“Let
’s g
et h
im.T
he la
stth
ing
Gra
ndm
a ne
eds
to k
now
whe
n sh
e’s
inho
spita
l is
tha
t we’
ve lo
st h
er d
og.B
last
ed th
ing!
”he
add
ed u
nder
his
bre
ath
.“Te
ll S
ophe
,”he
or
dere
d a
surp
rised
look
ing
Trac
ey.“
And
tell
her
it’s
all h
er fa
ult!”
Spl
ashi
ng th
roug
h pu
ddle
s,th
e tw
o ch
ildre
nru
shed
tow
ards
Mac
.Tha
t was
pro
babl
y th
e w
orst
thin
g to
do
beca
use
he d
ecid
ed th
ey h
ad c
ome
out t
o pl
ay a
gam
e.W
aggi
ng h
is ta
il vi
goro
usly
an
d se
ndin
g sp
rays
of
wa
ter
onto
the
legs
of
apa
sser
-by,
he ra
ced
off
tow
ards
the
park
.“W
e’ll
get h
im,”
Han
nah
said
con
fiden
tly.“
He’
son
ly g
ot li
ttle
legs
.”“H
e’s
doin
g al
l rig
ht o
n th
em,t
houg
h,”
Win
ston
puff
ed,r
ound
ing
the
corn
er to
see
Mac
turn
dow
nye
t ano
ther
str
eet.
“I ju
st w
ish
it w
ould
sto
p ra
inin
g.M
y gl
asse
s ar
e co
vere
d.I c
an’t
see
prop
erly
.”M
ac le
d hi
s pu
rsue
rs to
war
ds th
e ga
tew
ay to
the
tow
n pa
rk a
nd s
et o
ffa
t onc
e to
war
ds th
e du
ckpo
nd.H
e’d
not h
ad s
o m
uch
fun
for
year
s.
Sen
ten
ce s
tru
ctu
re a
nd
pu
nct
uat
ion
Bu
ild-u
p –
the
chas
e Te
xt s
tru
ctu
re a
nd
org
anis
atio
n
Sub
ordi
nate
cla
use
open
ing
sent
ence
,re
ducing
act
ion
to 3
suc
cinc
t wor
dsto
cre
ate
effe
ct o
f sp
eed.
Com
ma
betw
een
clau
ses
Sub
ordi
nate
cla
use
open
ing
sent
ence
for
em
phas
is.
Com
ma
betw
een
clau
ses
Use
of
subo
rdin
ate
clau
se t
o re
late
two
sim
ulta
neou
s ac
tion
s.Com
ma
betw
een
clau
ses
Voc
abul
ary
– v
erbs
and
adv
erbs
– (
shad
ed) cho
sen
tode
scri
be a
ctio
ns p
recise
ly
The
plo
t ha
s m
oved
on
wit
hout
desc
ribi
ng e
very
sm
all i
ncid
ent
–re
ader
kno
ws
Win
ston
has
fol
lowed
the
dog
to t
he d
oor
Mor
e in
form
atio
n pr
ovid
ed t
oin
dica
te im
port
ance
of
the
dog
and
heig
hten
s te
nsio
n
Cha
ract
ers
deve
lope
d th
roug
hth
eir
spee
ch
Co
mp
osi
tio
n a
nd
eff
ect
Rea
der’s
atte
ntio
n he
ld b
y th
e ch
ase.
Impl
icit,
rath
er th
an o
vert
,tim
e-co
nsum
ing
refe
renc
es,t
o re
min
d th
e re
ader
of
the
unpl
easa
nt w
eath
er.
Ove
rall
impr
essi
on o
fac
tion
built
up
thro
ugh
the
voca
bula
ry,e
.g.r
aced
,puf
fed,
purs
uers
,
vigo
rous
ly,w
aggi
ng
Sp
ellin
gw
orst
–‘w
’spe
cial
rela
tes
to w
ord,
wor
m,w
orld
,wor
k th
ough
– in
the
‘oug
h’fa
mily
grab
bing
and
wag
ging
– do
uble
the
cons
onan
t
afte
r a
shor
t vow
el
purs
ued
– ‘u
r’.N
ot to
be
conf
used
with
per
suad
evi
goro
usly
and
confi
dent
ly–
poly
sylla
bic
wor
ds
can
be s
egm
ente
d;‘o
r’no
t ‘ou
r’ev
en th
ough
vig
our
is s
pelle
d w
ith a
‘u’
Resource sheet 6b
Annotations for analysis
The National Literacy Strategy
23
Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003:
Narrative Writing Unit
Resource sheet 6c
Annotations for analysis
Win
ston
and
Han
nah
wer
e cl
ose
behi
nd b
utca
nnon
ed r
ound
the
corn
er s
trai
ght i
nto
a w
oman
push
ing
a pr
am.
“Wa
tch
whe
re y
ou’re
goi
ng,”
she
yelle
d,st
umbl
ing
but g
rabb
ing
the
hand
le.
“Sor
ry,”
they
mum
bled
.Han
nah
got u
p an
dex
amin
ed h
er c
ut k
nee.
She
look
ed a
s if
she
was
goin
g to
cry
.“I
can
’t se
e M
ac a
ny m
ore,
”W
inst
on a
nnou
nced
whe
n th
e w
oman
had
gon
e on
her
way
.“I t
houg
htw
e’d
catc
h up
with
him
by
the
duck
s.”
A fe
w m
inut
es o
fra
cing
alo
ng th
e so
dden
pa
ths
in th
e pa
rk,fi
nally
con
vinc
ed th
e ch
ildre
n th
at t
hey
had
lost
Mac
.But
they
cou
ld n
ot g
ive
up y
et.
Gra
ndm
a.W
inst
on w
as k
een
to k
eep
tryi
ng.H
anna
hw
ante
d to
rep
ort h
im m
issi
ng to
the
polic
e.T
hey
both
wis
hed
thei
r M
um w
as w
ith th
em.W
hile
arg
uing
abou
t the
bes
t cou
rse
ofac
tion,
they
left
the
park
an
d m
ade
thei
r w
ay u
p th
e H
igh
Str
eet.
“We’
re n
ever
goi
ng to
find
him
by
ours
elve
s,”
Han
nah
pers
iste
d.“I
bet
he’
s fr
ight
ened
now
,poo
rlit
tle th
ing.
”“I
sho
uld
hope
he
is!”
Win
ston
sai
d,ra
ther
unki
ndly
.“Lo
ok a
t the
trou
ble
he’s
put
us
to! O
h lo
ok,”
he y
elle
d.“A
bus
! Com
e on
! Let
’s g
o ho
me
and
phon
e M
um.”
Bef
ore
Han
nah
coul
d ar
gue,
he h
adpu
lled
his
sist
er o
nto
the
bus
and
paid
thei
r fa
res.
Sen
ten
ce s
tru
ctu
re a
nd
pu
nct
uat
ion
Dile
mm
aTe
xt s
tru
ctu
re a
nd
org
anis
atio
n
Inte
rrup
ts s
ente
nces
wit
h a
sing
lewor
d –
gra
phical
ly e
mph
asis
esth
e di
lem
ma
Ser
ies
of s
hort
sen
tenc
es in
dica
tes
adi
alog
ue w
itho
ut u
sing
spe
ech
and
follo
win
g co
mpl
ex s
ente
nce
show
ssi
mul
tane
ous
acti
on –
spe
ech
and
chan
ge o
f se
ttin
g
Voc
abul
ary
– v
erbs
,adj
ecti
ves
and
adve
rbs
– (
shad
ed) cho
sen
tode
scri
be a
ctio
ns p
recise
ly Sen
tenc
e st
arts
wit
h a
subo
rdin
ate
clau
se f
or e
mph
asis
Heigh
teni
ng t
he d
ilem
ma
by cre
atin
gan
eve
nt w
hich
cau
ses
the
child
ren
tolo
se s
ight
of
the
dog
– p
ram
incide
nt
Cha
ract
ers
cont
inue
to
deve
lop
Co
mp
osi
tio
n a
nd
eff
ect
Impl
icit,
rath
er th
an o
vert
,tim
e-co
nsum
ing
refe
renc
es,t
o re
min
d th
e re
ader
of
the
unpl
easa
nt w
eath
er.
Sp
ellin
ggr
abbe
dan
d sl
ippe
d –
doub
le th
e co
nson
ant
afte
r a
shor
t vow
el
wom
an–
‘wo’
befo
re th
e w
ord
man
stra
ight
– in
the
‘ight
’fam
ily.
argu
ing
– lo
ses
the
‘e’b
efor
e ad
ding
‘ing
’
The National Literacy Strategy
24
Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003:
Narrative Writing Unit
Resource sheet 6d
Annotations for analysis
Late
r,H
anna
h di
d tr
y to
tell
him
tha
t she
had
said
the
bus
was
goi
ng th
e w
rong
way
but
by
then
it w
as m
uch
too
late
.The
y bo
th r
ealis
ed th
ey w
ere
goin
g ea
st in
stea
d of
wes
t,m
iles
away
from
thei
row
n es
tate
.H
anna
h bu
rst i
nto
tear
s.“I
’m S
O fe
d up
,”sh
eso
bbed
.“A
ND
I’m
col
d.A
ND
I’m
sca
red
beca
use
we’
ll be
in R
EA
L tr
oubl
e no
w.W
e’ve
lost
Mac
!”W
inst
on tr
ied
to c
heer
her
up
but h
e’d
neve
r be
enve
ry g
ood
at t
hat a
nyw
ay! T
he b
us tu
rned
a c
orne
rin
to a
sm
all e
sta
te o
fre
tirem
ent b
unga
low
s.“O
h lo
ok,”
said
Win
ston
.“G
rand
ma’
s ho
use.
Oh
–”
and
his
voic
e tr
aile
d of
fas
he
gaze
d in
amaz
emen
t at a
sm
all,
very
wet
and
bed
ragg
led
blac
k an
d w
hite
dog
sitt
ing
on th
e do
orst
ep,
wai
ting
patie
ntly
.
Sen
ten
ce s
tru
ctu
re a
nd
pu
nct
uat
ion
Eve
nts
Text
str
uct
ure
an
d o
rgan
isat
ion
Use
of
com
ma
to s
epar
ate
phra
seco
ntai
ning
add
itio
nal i
nfor
mat
ion
Two-
item
list
of
acti
ons
of t
he d
ogse
para
ted
by a
com
ma
– ‘s
itti
ngon
the
doo
rste
p,wai
ting
pat
ient
ly’
Impl
ies
a co
nver
sati
on t
hat
was
not
wri
tten
dow
nD
ilem
ma
wor
sens
Fur
ther
cha
ract
er d
evelop
men
t
Co
mp
osi
tio
n a
nd
eff
ect
Cap
itals
to e
mph
asis
e ho
w H
anna
h sp
eaks
thes
e w
ords
.
Sp
ellin
gto
o–
doub
le le
tter
as o
ppos
ed to
to a
nd tw
o
patie
ntly
– ‘ti
en’
The National Literacy Strategy
25
Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003:
Narrative Writing Unit
Resource sheet 6e
Annotations for analysis
The
chi
ldre
n tu
mbl
ed o
ffth
e bu
s a
t the
nex
tst
op a
nd c
harg
ed b
ack
up th
e ro
ad.
“Mac
!”sh
rieke
d H
anna
h,“w
e fo
und
you!
You
clev
er o
ld th
ing.
You
cam
e ho
me.
”“I
sup
pose
he
cut a
long
by
the
old
cana
l,”W
inst
on s
aid,
“and
tha
t’s h
ow h
e go
t her
e so
quic
kly.
Poo
r M
ac.H
e m
ust m
iss
Gra
ndm
a.Le
t’sge
t him
hom
e an
d dr
y hi
m o
ff.”
The
y di
dn’t
have
to w
ait l
ong
for
anot
her
bus
– th
is ti
me
goin
g th
e rig
ht w
ay –
and
wer
e in
the
kitc
hen
rubb
ing
Mac
dry
whe
n th
e ph
one
rang
.It
was
Gra
ndm
a.“T
hey
let m
e ha
ve th
e tr
olle
y ph
one
by m
y be
d,”
she
expl
aine
d.“I
just
had
to r
ing
and
see
ifpo
orol
d M
ac is
alri
ght.
I’m s
o w
orrie
d ab
out h
im.”
Win
ston
and
Han
nah
look
ed a
t eac
h ot
her.
Win
ston
sho
ok h
is h
ead.
Han
nah
nodd
ed.
“Oh
you
mus
tn’t
wor
ry,G
rand
ma,
”H
anna
h sa
idbr
ight
ly.“
He’
s ha
d a
love
ly d
ay.N
o tr
oubl
e a
t all!
”
Sen
ten
ce s
tru
ctu
re a
nd
pu
nct
uat
ion
Res
olu
tio
n a
nd
en
din
gTe
xt s
tru
ctu
re a
nd
org
anis
atio
n
Voc
abul
ary
– v
erb
–(sh
aded
) cho
sen
to d
escr
ibe
acti
ons
prec
isely
Use
of
dash
es in
stea
d of
com
mas
for
em
phas
is
Sho
rt s
ente
nces
cre
atin
gef
fect
of
quick
decisi
on
Dile
mm
a re
solv
es w
hen
the
child
ren
colle
ct t
he d
og.T
he p
hone
call
at t
he e
nd r
einf
orce
s th
e re
lief
felt
by
the
child
ren
Cut
s ou
t de
tail
of r
etur
n ho
me
– n
o ne
ed t
o sp
in t
his
out
– fi
ndsa
tisf
ying
con
clus
ion
i.e.
phon
e ca
ll
Sp
ellin
gsh
rieke
d–
‘ie’
rubb
ing
and
nodd
ed–
doub
le th
e co
nson
ant
afte
r a
shor
t vow
el
Co
mp
osi
tio
n a
nd
eff
ect
Ad
apta
tio
n
Sim
ple
plot
bui
lds
by e
ach
sect
ion
bein
g se
t up
by
the
prev
ious
one
– c
ause
and
eff
ect,
e.g.
it is
wet
and
slip
pery
and
they
can
’t se
e,so
they
bum
p in
to
som
eone
,hav
e to
apo
logi
se a
nd th
eref
ore
lose
the
dog.
Coi
ncid
ence
is a
trad
ition
al fe
atu
re o
f
narr
ativ
e.D
og h
as g
one
back
to it
s ow
n ho
use
– so
how
doe
s th
e au
thor
get
the
child
ren
ther
e to
find
it? –
they
jum
p on
the
wro
ng b
us.
Vie
wp
oin
t
Sim
ple
narr
ativ
e ap
proa
ch ta
ken
thro
ugh
narr
atio
n an
d di
alog
ue th
roug
h w
hich
cha
ract
er
deve
lopm
ent c
an b
e tr
aced
.
Sty
le
Eff
ects
cre
ate
d th
roug
h ch
oice
of
voca
bula
ry,
sent
ence
str
uctu
re a
nd v
aria
tion.
Planning frame for Bloddon’s adventure
OpeningBloddon (dwarf) offers to search for herb
Build-up Bloddon sets off with pet
DilemmaBloddon loses map (falls in water?)
EventsAn old man appears with a casket
Resolution and endingBloddon returns victorious with the herb
The National Literacy Strategy
26
Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003:
Narrative Writing Unit
Resource sheet 7
Planing frame for Bloddon’s adventure
The National Literacy Strategy
27
Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003:
Narrative Writing Unit
Resource sheet 5c
OHT for analysis
Resource sheet 8a
Demonstration-writing
Sen
ten
ce s
tru
ctu
re a
nd
pu
nct
uat
ion
Op
enin
gTe
xt s
tru
ctu
re a
nd
org
anis
atio
n
Ope
ning
sen
tenc
e –
dia
logu
e,st
raig
ht in
to t
he m
iddl
eof
the
act
ion
Sho
rt s
ente
nce
evok
es s
ense
of s
ilenc
e ac
ross
hal
l
Alt
houg
h no
t di
alog
ue,t
hese
sho
rtse
nten
ces
give
the
eff
ect
of lo
ts o
f ta
lkin
g
Voc
abul
ary
– n
ouns
and
adje
ctiv
es –
(sh
aded
) cho
sen
tode
scri
be a
ctio
ns p
recise
ly
Sub
ordi
nate
cla
use
to a
dd p
ace
tose
nten
ce s
ugge
stin
g B
lodd
on’s
hast
y,im
petu
ous
beha
viou
r
Fan
tasy
set
ting
est
ablis
hed
Blo
ddon
’s cha
ract
er d
evelop
edth
roug
h ot
hers
’beh
avio
ur t
o hi
m a
ndth
en t
hrou
gh h
is o
wn
beha
viou
r
Co
mp
osi
tio
n a
nd
eff
ect
•O
peni
ng p
arag
raph
.Dia
logu
e us
ed to
info
rmre
ader
abo
ut th
e qu
est t
here
fore
lim
ited
info
rma
tion
give
n an
d st
ory
gets
off
to a
pac
y st
art;
•F
anta
sy a
dven
ture
rei
nfor
ced
in r
eade
r’s m
ind
byal
lusi
ons
to n
ames
in o
ther
fant
asy
stor
ies,
inve
nted
wor
ds a
nd fa
ntas
y su
bjec
ts,e
.g.
ench
ante
d fo
rest
s,po
tions
;•
Alte
rs a
wel
l kno
wn
sayi
ng b
y on
e in
vent
ed w
ord
to r
ela
te to
the
read
er b
ut m
aint
ain
the
fant
asy.
Sp
ellin
glis
ten
– ‘t’
,‘e’
laug
h,la
ught
er–
‘au’
daug
hter
– ‘a
u’
Blo
dd
on
’s A
dve
ntu
re
“Sto
p ta
lkin
g,an
d lis
ten!
”sh
oute
d Tr
emda
lf,sh
akin
g hi
s bo
ny fi
st a
t the
ass
embl
ed c
ompa
ny o
fdw
arfs
.The
re w
as s
ilenc
e.“I
t’s n
o us
e ar
guin
gam
ong
your
selv
es.W
e ha
ve to
get
tha
t mag
ic h
erb
som
ehow
.Ter
ebro
n ne
eds
it to
mak
e hi
s po
tions
.T
he s
ucce
ss o
fth
e w
hole
war
aga
inst
the
Orc
sde
pend
s on
it.”
No-
one
disa
gre
ed.B
ut w
ho s
houl
d go
? T
he w
ayw
as lo
ng a
nd h
ard
and
succ
ess
coul
d no
t be
guar
ante
ed.T
he h
erb
did
not a
lway
s flo
wer
.E
very
one
cont
inue
d to
tell
his
neig
hbou
r w
hy h
eco
uld
not p
ossi
bly
be s
pare
d fr
om h
is d
aily
wor
k.T
hen,
into
the
clam
our,
a sh
rill v
oice
sou
nded
.“I
’ll g
o! L
et m
e ge
t the
her
b!”
A la
ugh
fille
d th
e ca
ve,l
it by
a th
ousa
nd b
linki
ngfir
eflie
s.“W
hat!
Blo
ddon
! He
coul
dn’t
find
a pi
ece
ofro
fal i
n a
pape
r ba
g!”
Mor
e la
ught
er.T
he li
ttle
dwar
f’s fa
ce b
urne
d w
ith s
ham
e,bu
t he
felt
ange
rw
ellin
g up
insi
de to
o.H
e’d
show
them
– a
nd le
apin
gto
his
feet
he
jum
ped
forw
ard
and
gra
bbed
the
map
to th
e en
chan
ted
fore
st o
ut o
fa
surp
rised
Trem
dalf’
s ha
nds.
The National Literacy Strategy
28
Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003:
Narrative Writing Unit
Tha
t had
bee
n ye
ster
day.
Now
,sw
eatin
g un
der
the
hea
t of
a pu
nish
ing
sun,
his
feet
alre
ady
sore
and
his
shou
lder
s ac
hing
from
his
ruc
ksac
k,B
lodd
on b
egan
to r
egre
t his
des
ire to
be
a he
ro.
“At l
east
you
cam
e w
ith m
e,”
he s
aid
to h
is p
etpo
ggle
,Dif,
lopi
ng h
appi
ly a
t his
sid
e.“W
e ca
n fin
dth
e he
rb to
geth
er.”
The
y pl
odde
d on
all
tha
t day
and
the
next
,clim
bing
mou
ntai
ns,c
ross
ing
valle
ysan
d pa
ssin
g th
roug
h sm
all h
amle
ts w
here
dw
arfs
swar
med
out
to g
reet
them
– n
ews
ofth
eir
ques
tha
ving
trav
elle
d ah
ead.
Gift
s of
food
and
win
ew
ere
pres
sed
into
Blo
ddon
’s h
ands
and
tha
tse
cond
nig
ht,h
e an
d hi
s fa
ithfu
l frie
nd s
lept
cont
ente
dly
unde
r a
star
ry s
ky!
Sen
ten
ce s
tru
ctu
re a
nd
pu
nct
uat
ion
Bu
ild-u
pTe
xt s
tru
ctu
re a
nd
org
anis
atio
n
Voc
abul
ary
– a
djec
tive
s an
dve
rbs
– (
shad
ed) cho
sen
tode
scri
be a
ctio
ns p
recise
ly
Com
plex
sen
tenc
e to
cov
er a
lot
ofti
me
and
acti
on q
uick
ly.T
his
keep
sth
e pa
ce o
f th
e st
ory
wit
hout
dwellin
g on
the
uni
mpo
rtan
t ev
ents
Pas
sive
voi
ce p
uts
emph
asis
on
the
gift
rat
her
than
the
giv
er
Bui
ld-up
– p
lot
mov
ed o
n qu
ickl
y,by
-pa
ssin
g pr
epar
atio
ns f
or t
he t
rip
Blo
ddon
’s cha
ract
er d
evelop
s
Inve
nted
wor
d re
info
rcin
g th
e fa
ntas
y
Co
mp
osi
tio
n a
nd
eff
ect
Exc
lam
atio
n m
ark
appe
als
to th
e re
ader
to
visu
alis
e th
e sc
ene.
Sp
ellin
gac
he,a
chin
g–
‘e’
plod
ded
– do
uble
the
cons
onan
t afte
r a
shor
t
vow
el b
efor
e ‘e
d’
trav
elle
d–
doub
le a
n ‘l’
befo
re ‘e
d’
faith
ful–
onl
y on
e ‘l’
awfu
l,sp
itefu
l,pe
acef
ul.I
t
doub
les
whe
n ‘ly
’is
adde
d e.
g.fa
ithfu
lly
Resource sheet 8b
Demonstration-writing
The National Literacy Strategy
29
Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003:
Narrative Writing Unit
Resource sheet 5c
OHT for analysis
Resource sheet 8c
Demonstration-writing
It w
asn’
t lon
g be
fore
the
adve
ntur
ers
reac
hed
the
river
whi
ch m
arke
d th
e bo
unda
ry o
fth
e D
war
fla
nds
with
tha
t of
thei
r ne
ighb
ours
.Blo
ddon
con
sulte
d th
e m
ap.
“I th
ink
we
need
to c
ross
her
e,”
he to
ld D
if.B
ut D
ifw
asal
read
y in
the
wa
ter,
spla
shin
g hi
s th
ree
tails
with
gle
e an
dse
ndin
g m
ulti-
colo
ured
fish
into
sw
irls
of
conf
usio
n.“C
ome
back
,you
stu
pid
anim
al!”
shou
ted
Blo
ddon
,in
anno
yanc
e.R
each
ing
out,
he g
rabb
ed a
t the
col
lar
arou
ndth
e cr
eatu
re’s
nec
k bu
t mis
sed,
stub
bed
his
toe
and
slip
ped
amon
g th
e th
ick
reed
s a
t the
wa
ter’s
edg
e.“O
h,bo
ther
and
bla
st!”
he g
roan
ed.T
his
was
qui
te a
bad
curs
e fo
r a
wel
l bro
ught
up
little
dw
arf
so y
ou c
an s
eeho
w u
pset
he
was
! The
map
was
sod
den
and,
even
as
helif
ted
his
hand
out
of
the
wa
ter,
it be
gan
to d
isin
teg
rate
befo
re h
is e
yes.
Now
wha
t wer
e th
ey to
do?
“W
e’ll
neve
r fin
d th
e he
rb n
ow,”
he w
aile
d ou
t lou
d.D
iflo
oked
ala
rmed
and
nuz
zled
up,
tryi
ng to
com
fort
his
frie
nd.
But
Blo
ddon
was
too
upse
t to
take
any
not
ice.
“Wha
t a fo
ol I
was
!”he
con
tinue
d.“F
ancy
thin
king
I co
uld
do s
uch
anim
port
ant j
ob.”
By
now
he
had
pick
ed h
imse
lfup
and
wad
edca
refu
lly to
the
othe
r si
de w
ith D
iffo
llow
ing
forl
ornl
y,al
lth
ree
tails
trai
ling
in th
e w
ate
r.H
e w
as n
ow in
Arc
edia
.A
head
of
him
lay
a ne
twor
k of
path
s an
d B
lodd
on k
new
tha
t with
out t
he m
ap h
e w
ould
nev
er fi
nd h
is w
ay th
roug
hbe
caus
e th
ey c
hang
ed th
emse
lves
aro
und
freq
uent
ly to
conf
use
trav
elle
rs.
“Oh
both
er a
nd b
last
!”he
sai
d ag
ain
and
burs
t int
o a
full
flood
of
nois
y te
ars.
Sen
ten
ce s
tru
ctu
re a
nd
pu
nct
uat
ion
Dile
mm
aTe
xt s
tru
ctu
re a
nd
org
anis
atio
n
Sho
rt s
ente
nce
indi
cate
sim
port
ant
stag
e in
que
st
’But
’sig
nals
pos
sibl
e pr
oblem
Voc
abul
ary
(sh
aded
) cho
sen
tode
scri
be a
ctio
ns p
recise
ly
Com
plex
sen
tenc
es u
sed
toex
plai
n
Con
nect
ive
mov
es s
tory
on
from
slee
ping
to
the
jour
ney
The
cha
ract
ers
of b
oth
trav
ellers
dev
elop
Per
petu
ates
fan
tasy
Co
mp
osi
tio
n a
nd
eff
ect
Spe
aks
dire
ctly
to th
e re
ader
in th
e se
cond
per
son.
Ask
s a
ques
tion
ofth
e re
ader
.
Sp
ellin
ggr
abbe
d,dr
oppe
d,st
ubbe
d–
doub
le th
e co
nson
ant
afte
r a
shor
t vow
el b
efor
e ‘e
d’
alre
ady
– on
e ‘l’
e.g.
also
,alm
ost,
alto
geth
er
conf
usio
n–
‘sio
n’
The National Literacy Strategy
30
Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003:
Narrative Writing Unit
He
crie
d un
til h
e ha
d no
mor
e te
ars
left
to c
ry a
ndsa
t on
the
smal
l hill
ock,
stub
by a
rms
wra
pped
arou
nd e
ven
stub
bier
legs
,sig
hing
dee
ply.
Sud
denl
y,he
was
aw
are
tha
t a s
hado
w h
ad b
lock
ed o
ut th
esu
n.Lo
okin
g up
he
saw
the
stra
nges
t old
man
.He
wor
e a
long
bla
ck c
loak
,dec
ora
ted
with
sta
rs th
at
mov
ed a
roun
d th
e m
ate
rial o
n th
eir
own
and
he h
eld
a ca
sket
of
gold
car
eful
ly in
fron
t of
him
.“A
hh,I
’ve
foun
d yo
u!”
said
a th
in,f
eebl
e vo
ice.
“We
hear
d yo
u w
ere
in tr
oubl
e.Lo
st th
e m
ap,d
idyo
u?”
Blo
ddon
sta
red
in a
ston
ishm
ent.
“Who
...
”he
bega
n.“W
ho a
m I?
”th
e ol
d m
an in
terr
upte
d br
ight
ly.
“You
r lu
cky
savi
our,
tha
t’s w
ho! T
rem
dalf
sent
an
owl
to le
t us
know
you
wer
e on
you
r w
ay.A
frai
d yo
u’d
get
into
diff
icul
ties
appa
rent
ly! L
ucky
I ca
me
alon
g.W
ene
ed y
ou to
suc
ceed
in y
our
war
aga
inst
the
Orc
s.”
His
face
clo
uded
ove
r.“T
hey’
ve d
one
som
e te
rrib
leth
ings
in th
ese
land
s.H
ere.
Take
this
.”T
he o
ld m
anha
nded
Blo
ddon
the
gold
en c
aske
t.G
inge
rly,
not
know
ing
wha
t to
expe
ct,t
he y
oung
dw
arf
open
ed it
.In
side
,lay
the
herb
,glo
win
g w
ith p
ower
and
mag
ic.
Blo
ddon
sm
iled
and
open
ed h
is m
outh
to s
peak
.
Sen
ten
ce s
tru
ctu
re a
nd
pu
nct
uat
ion
Eve
nts
Text
str
uct
ure
an
d o
rgan
isat
ion
Old
man
ann
ounc
ed in
sho
rtse
nten
ce a
nd d
escr
ibed
in com
plex
sen
tenc
e
Use
of
com
mas
to
sepa
rate
open
ing
adve
rb f
rom
subo
rdin
ate
clau
se a
nd m
ain
clau
se.(
Cou
ld p
lay
arou
ndwit
h or
der
of t
he p
arts
her
e to
com
pare
eff
ecti
vene
ss e
.g.
sugg
est
The
you
ng d
war
fop
ened
it g
inge
rly
not
know
ing
wha
t to
exp
ect.
And
the
n m
ove
it a
roun
d to
get
bes
t ef
fect
.)
Voc
abul
ary
(sh
aded
) cho
sen
tode
scri
be a
ctio
ns p
recise
ly
Lin
k to
pre
viou
s pa
ragr
aph
Per
petu
ates
the
fan
tasy
Co
mp
osi
tio
n a
nd
eff
ect
Pic
ks u
p id
eas
from
oth
er fa
ntas
ies
with
whi
ch th
e
read
er m
ay b
e fa
mili
ar.
Sp
ellin
gm
ater
ial–
‘al’
diffi
culti
es–
plur
al ‘y
’,‘ie
s’
succ
eed
– ‘c
’‘ee
’
Resource sheet 8d
Demonstration-writing
The National Literacy Strategy
31
Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003:
Narrative Writing Unit
Resource sheet 5c
OHT for analysis
Resource sheet 8e
Demonstration-writing
“No
time,
boy,
no ti
me,
you
need
to g
et
hom
e.”
His
wan
d sw
ishe
d ar
ound
the
spot
,sp
arks
flew
and
col
ours
inte
rtw
ined
,enc
irclin
gB
lodd
on a
nd m
akin
g hi
m fe
el v
ery
dizz
y.W
hen
itse
ttled
dow
n –
he w
as h
ome!
Bac
k in
the
cave
!T
he a
ssem
bled
dw
arfs
che
ered
whe
n th
eysa
w h
im –
and
che
ered
eve
n ha
rder
whe
n th
eyre
alis
ed th
at h
e’d
been
suc
cess
ful.
The
her
b w
asse
nt o
ffto
Ter
ebro
n an
d B
lodd
on –
wel
l he
didn
’tac
tual
ly te
ll an
yone
tha
t he’
d ha
d a
bit o
fhe
lpw
ith h
is q
uest
.He
rath
er e
njoy
ed b
eing
a h
ero
for
a ch
ange
!
Sen
ten
ce s
tru
ctu
re a
nd
pu
nct
uat
ion
Res
olu
tio
n a
nd
en
din
gTe
xt s
tru
ctu
re a
nd
org
anis
atio
n
Man
ner
of s
peec
h cr
eate
spa
ce a
nd s
ense
of
urge
ncy
Voc
abul
ary
– v
erbs
– (
shad
ed)
chos
en t
o de
scri
be a
ctio
ns p
recise
ly
Tru
ncat
ed s
ente
nce
– ‘H
ewas
’is
impl
ied:
crea
tes
sens
e of
relief
Rep
etit
ion
to b
uild
up celeb
rato
ry e
ffec
t –
evo
cati
ve o
f ‘t
hree
chee
rs f
or..
.’
End
ing
does
n’t
cont
ain
unne
cess
ary
expl
anat
ory
dial
ogue
to
hold
up
the
pace
Lin
k ba
ck t
o ea
rlier
com
men
tab
out
regr
ets
abou
t go
ing
Co
mp
osi
tio
n a
nd
eff
ect
Ad
apta
tio
n
•In
ord
er to
writ
e a
shor
t sto
ry,e
cono
mie
s ar
e
mad
e by
unf
oldi
ng th
e pl
ot a
nd d
evel
opin
g th
e
char
acte
rs th
roug
h bo
th th
e na
rra
tion
and
the
dial
ogue
.The
rea
der
is e
xpec
ted
to in
fer
actio
n
and
char
acte
r fr
om b
oth,
incl
udin
g th
e pa
ssin
g
and
cond
ensi
ng o
ftim
e,in
dica
ted
by
conn
ectin
g ph
rase
s su
ch a
s T
hat h
ad b
een
yest
erda
y,an
d su
mm
ary
narr
ativ
e,e.
g.T
hey
plod
ded
on a
ll th
at d
ay a
nd th
e ne
xt.
•A
t one
poi
nt th
e au
thor
app
eals
dire
ctly
to
the
read
er.
Sp
ellin
gco
lour
– ‘o
ur’
succ
essf
ul–
rela
te to
suc
ceed
.
only
one
‘l’a
wfu
l,fa
ithfu
l,
peac
eful
.It d
oubl
es w
hen
‘ly’
is a
dded
e.g
.suc
cess
fully
Vie
wp
oin
t
•A
utho
r de
velo
ps th
e ch
arac
ters
thro
ugh
thei
r
actio
n,re
actio
n an
d di
alog
ue b
ut a
lso
thro
ugh
the
narr
ato
r de
scrib
ing
wha
t the
cha
ract
er th
ink,
e.g.
He
rath
er e
njoy
ed b
eing
a h
ero
for a
cha
nge
Sty
le
•A
llusi
on to
oth
er te
xts
thro
ugh
tran
sfor
ma
tion
of
som
e na
mes
,e.g
.Tre
mda
lf
•U
se o
ftr
aditi
onal
dev
ices
and
con
tent
of
ques
t
stor
ies,
e.g.
brav
ado,
acci
dent
s,ho
stile
coun
trys
ide,
potio
ns,b
lack
clo
aks,
crea
ture
s w
ith
mul
tiple
tails
.
The National Literacy Strategy
32
Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003:
Narrative Writing Unit
Resource sheet 9a
OHT Child’s writing
This has been the most incredible day of mylife. As I was doing my homework I heardthis strange noise so I rushed straight tothe window and I couldn’t believe what Ihad seen. It was shining like mad in my eyes. I could hardly see it. The strangething was shaped like an oval. I was tryingto turn my head but my eyes were glued onto the spaceship. The glowing bright lightsmade me put my arms over my head it wasalso making an ear piercing sound as it washeading towards my garden the sound wasgetting louder as it came nearer and nearer.
The National Literacy Strategy
33
Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003:
Narrative Writing Unit
Resource sheet 5c
OHT for analysis
Resource sheet 9b
Annotated Child’s writing
Sen
ten
ce s
tru
ctu
re a
nd
pu
nct
uat
ion
Text
org
anis
atio
n a
nd
pu
nct
uat
ion
This
has
bee
n th
e m
ost
incr
edib
le d
ay o
f m
ylif
e. A
s I
was
doin
g m
y ho
mew
ork
I he
ard
this
str
ange
noi
se s
o I
rush
ed s
trai
ght
toth
e wi
ndow
and
I c
ould
n’t
belie
ve w
hat
Iha
d se
en. I
t wa
s sh
inin
g lik
e m
ad in
my
eyes
. I c
ould
har
dly
see
it. T
he s
tran
geth
ing
was
shap
ed li
ke a
n ov
al. I
was
try
ing
to t
urn
my
head
but
my
eyes
wer
e gl
ued
onto
the
spa
cesh
ip. T
he g
lowi
ng b
righ
t lig
hts
mad
e m
e pu
t m
y ar
ms
over
my
head
it w
asal
so m
akin
g an
ear
pie
rcin
g so
und
as it
was
head
ing
towa
rds
my
gard
en t
he s
ound
was
gett
ing
loud
er a
s it
cam
e ne
arer
and
nea
rer.
Con
nect
ive
phra
se b
ut s
houl
d be
aco
mm
a af
ter
‘hom
ewor
k’
Var
iety
of
sent
ence
leng
th
Pow
erfu
l ver
b co
nvey
s se
nse
ofbe
ing
over
power
ed
Ful
l sto
p ne
eded
her
e
Nee
ds f
ull s
top
or
conn
ecti
ve h
ere
Co
mp
osi
tio
n a
nd
eff
ect
Ope
ning
sen
tenc
e cr
eate
s se
nse
ofex
pect
atio
n.
Mun
dane
,saf
e ac
tivity
inte
rrup
ted
by fr
ight
enin
g
atta
ck o
n th
e se
nses
.End
s on
a th
rea
teni
ng n
ote
to e
ngag
e re
ader
.
Wha
t ‘it’
is –
not
yet
reve
aled
to
read
er
The National Literacy Strategy
34
Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003:
Narrative Writing Unit
I had an electrifying experience earliertoday when I saw a spaceship, an alienspaceship can you believe it. It landed justoutside Mr Jackson’s farm. Me and my dadwent up there for some eggs and there itwas – a spaceship!! Mr Jackson didn’t see itbecause he was out but when he got back hefainted. It looked as if it had been damaged my dad said because he’s anengineer, but this is different it’s an alienspaceship. The police came to the scene and cleared it up. They thought it was partof a plane crash but me and my dad knewbetter. When we got home I told my mumbut she got the better of us and convincedmy dad he was seeing things but I knew mytheory was the truth.
Resource sheet 9c
OHT Second child’s writing
The National Literacy Strategy
35
Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003:
Narrative Writing Unit
Resource sheet 5c
OHT for analysis
Resource sheet 9d
Annotated Second child’s writing
I ha
d an
ele
ctri
fyin
g ex
peri
ence
ear
lier
toda
y wh
en I
saw
a s
pace
ship
, an
alie
nsp
aces
hip
can
you
belie
ve it
. It
land
ed ju
stou
tsid
e M
r Ja
ckso
n’s
farm
. Me
and
my
dad
went
up
ther
e fo
r so
me
eggs
and
the
re it
was
– a s
pac
esh
ip!!
Mr
Jack
son
didn
’t se
e it
beca
use
he w
as o
ut b
ut w
hen
he g
ot b
ack
hefa
inte
d. I
t lo
oked
as
if it
had
bee
n da
mag
ed m
y da
d sa
id b
ecau
se h
e’s
anen
gine
er, b
ut t
his
is d
iffe
rent
it’s
an a
lien
spac
eshi
p. T
he p
olic
e ca
me
to t
he s
cene
an
d cl
eare
d it
up.
The
y th
ough
t it
was
par
tof
a p
lane
cra
sh b
ut m
e an
d m
y da
d kn
ewbe
tter
. Whe
n we
got
hom
e I
told
my
mum
but
she
got
the
bett
er o
f us
and
con
vinc
edm
y da
d he
was
see
ing
thin
gs b
ut I
kne
w m
yth
eory
was
the
tru
th.
Sen
ten
ce s
tru
ctu
re a
nd
pu
nct
uat
ion
Text
org
anis
atio
n a
nd
pu
nct
uat
ion
Com
plex
sen
tenc
e.Con
nect
ive
phra
se‘w
hen
I’=
econ
omical
wri
ting
Eff
ecti
ve a
djec
tive
Rep
eat
of ‘s
pace
ship
’for
em
phas
isan
d to
cre
ate
excite
men
t
My
dad
and
I
Use
of
conn
ecti
ve p
hras
e
Mig
ht b
e m
ore
effe
ctiv
e if it
was
ase
para
te s
ente
nce
addr
essi
ng r
eade
r(wit
h a
ques
tion
mar
k)
Ten
se con
fusi
on –
pro
babl
y ca
used
by
elem
ent
of d
ialo
gue
(un
derl
ined
) n
otde
velo
ped
or in
spe
ech
mar
ks
Thi
s co
uld
be d
iffe
rent
par
agra
ph
Cou
ld h
ave
a fu
ll st
op t
o cr
eate
fina
l sen
tenc
e fo
r im
pact
Var
iety
of
punc
tuat
ion
used
for
eff
ect
Co
mp
osi
tio
n a
nd
eff
ect
Add
ress
es r
eade
r di
rect
ly to
eng
age
them
.Lac
kof
desc
riptio
n of
spac
eshi
p,or
exp
lana
tion
ofho
wth
ey a
lone
kne
w w
hat i
t was
,wea
kens
pur
pose
of
desc
ribin
g an
inci
dent
suc
cinc
tly.A
num
ber
ofid
eas
here
whi
ch c
ould
hav
e be
en d
evel
oped
,e.g
.th
e da
mag
e.
The National Literacy Strategy
36
Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003:
Narrative Writing Unit
From Why the Whales Came by Michael Morpurgo (Egmont Publishers), pages 4 and 5.
The little I saw of the Birdman was enough toconvince me that all the stories we heard about himmust be true. He was more like an owl, a flittingcreature of the dark, the dawn and the dusk. Hewould be seen outside only rarely in the daylight,perhaps out in his rowing boat around the island orsitting high on his cart; and even in the hottestsummers he would always wear a black cape overhis shoulders and a pointed sou’wester on hishead. From a distance you could hear him talkingloudly to himself in a strange, unearthly monotone.Maybe it was not to himself that he talked but to thekittiwake that sat always on his shoulder or to theblack jack donkey that pulled his cart wherever hewent, or maybe it was to the great woolly dog withthe greying muzzle that loped along beside him.The Birdman went everywhere barefoot, even inwinter, a stooped black figure that lurched as hewalked, one step always shorter than the other. Andwherever he went he would be surrounded by aflock of screaming seagulls that circled and floatedabove him, tirelessly vigilant, almost as if they wereprotecting him. He rarely spoke to anyone, indeedhe scarcely even looked at anyone.
Resource sheet 10a
OHT Birdman
© Michael Morpurgo 1985
The National Literacy Strategy
37
Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003:
Narrative Writing Unit
Resource sheet 5c
OHT for analysis
Resource sheet 10b
Annotated Birdman
Sen
ten
ce s
tru
ctu
re a
nd
pu
nct
uat
ion
Text
org
anis
atio
n a
nd
pu
nct
uat
ion
g
The
littl
e I s
aw o
fth
e B
irdm
an w
as e
noug
h to
conv
ince
me
tha
t all
the
stor
ies
we
hear
d ab
out h
imm
ust b
e tr
ue.H
e w
as m
ore
like
an o
wl,
a fli
tting
crea
ture
of
the
dark
,the
daw
n an
d th
e du
sk.H
ew
ould
be
seen
out
side
onl
y ra
rely
in th
e da
ylig
ht,
perh
aps
out i
n hi
s ro
win
g bo
at a
roun
d th
e is
land
or
sitti
ng h
igh
on h
is c
art;
and
even
in th
e ho
ttest
sum
mer
s he
wou
ld a
lway
s w
ear
a bl
ack
cape
ove
rhi
s sh
ould
ers
and
a po
inte
d so
u’w
este
r on
his
head
.Fro
m a
dis
tanc
e yo
u co
uld
hear
him
talk
ing
loud
ly to
him
self
in a
str
ange
,une
arth
ly m
onot
one.
May
be it
was
not
to h
imse
lfth
at h
e ta
lked
but
to th
eki
ttiw
ake
tha
t sa
t alw
ays
on h
is s
houl
der
or to
the
blac
k ja
ck d
onke
y th
at p
ulle
d hi
s ca
rt w
here
ver
hew
ent,
or m
aybe
it w
as to
the
gre
at w
oolly
dog
with
the
gre
ying
muz
zle
tha
t lop
ed a
long
bes
ide
him
.T
he B
irdm
an w
ent e
very
whe
re b
aref
oot,
even
inw
inte
r,a
stoo
ped
blac
k fig
ure
tha
t lur
ched
as
hew
alke
d,on
e st
ep a
lway
s sh
orte
r th
an th
e ot
her.
And
whe
reve
r he
wen
t he
wou
ld b
e su
rrou
nded
by
aflo
ck o
fsc
ream
ing
seag
ulls
tha
t circ
led
and
floa
ted
abov
e hi
m,t
irele
ssly
vig
ilant
,alm
ost a
s if
they
wer
epr
otec
ting
him
.He
rare
ly s
poke
to a
nyon
e,in
deed
he s
carc
ely
even
look
ed a
t any
one.
Sim
ile,a
mpl
ified
by
adje
ctiv
alph
rase
mar
ked
off
by com
ma
Com
ma
sepa
rati
ng o
ff cla
use
Sem
icol
on t
o se
para
te t
wo
rela
ted
mai
n clau
ses
Con
nect
ive
phra
se
Com
ma
betw
een
adje
ctiv
essl
ows
pace
of
sent
ence
Adj
ecti
val p
hras
e –
ec
onom
ical
wri
ting
Adv
erbi
al p
hras
e –
ec
onom
ical
wri
ting
Cha
ract
er fi
rst
hear
d ab
out,
then
seen
far
away
,the
n he
ard,
then
seen
slig
htly
clo
ser.
Reinf
orce
sid
ea o
f hi
s re
mot
enes
s
Sin
gle
para
grap
h bu
ilds
upcu
mul
ativ
e ef
fect
of
desc
ript
ion
Co
mp
osi
tio
n a
nd
eff
ect
Com
paris
ons
and
asso
cia
tions
with
ani
mal
s cr
eate
a di
stin
ctiv
e pi
ctur
e.
Alli
tera
tion
(dar
k,da
wn,
dusk
) an
d re
petit
ion
(may
be .
..m
aybe
) gi
ve a
poe
tic fe
el.I
nver
sion
of
usua
l sen
tenc
e co
nstr
uctio
n (‘i
t was
not
to h
imse
lf’)
adds
to li
tera
ry e
ffec
t.
Use
of ‘a
nd’t
o be
gin
sent
ence
sugg
ests
som
ethi
ng s
tran
ge o
run
usua
l will
be
reve
aled
The National Literacy Strategy
38
Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003:
Narrative Writing Unit
Resource sheet 11
Character web
Character web: choose 3, 4 or 5 aspects to workon to create your own character
How they move.Particular
or unusualclothing?
Distinctivefacialfeature?
Clues to theirfeelings intheir speechor actions?
How they talk.
What they do(or don’t do).
Name – ordinary,or unusual orsuggestive ofsomething?
Comparison withsomething (simile)or reminds authorof something.
Character
The National Literacy Strategy
39
Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003:
Narrative Writing Unit
Resource sheet 5c
OHT for analysis
Resource sheet 12a
OHT Mrs Wentleberry
Mrs Wentleberry is one of the mostmemorable people that I have ever met.Every year we used to go round to herhouse for one of her ‘special’ teas – thunderand lightning, she called it. The thunder wasa large dollop of cream and the lightningwas a twist of golden syrup. This mixturewas piled onto a homemade scone. My fourbrothers and I sat in silence, eyes agog,already almost tasting the sweet, thickmixture in our mouths.
She was a large lady. Her round, red facehad puffy cheeks. She used too muchmake-up which made her lips look ratherstartling, bright as a guard’s uniform that Ihad seen at Buckingham Palace. Her hairwas piled up and held in place by a small,thin net. She always wore large dresseswith bright floral patterns that floppedaround her. It was like watching a largecurtain moving about. I tried not to stare.
The National Literacy Strategy
40
Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003:
Narrative Writing Unit
Resource sheet 12b
Annotated Mrs Wentleberry
Sen
ten
ce s
tru
ctu
re a
nd
pu
nct
uat
ion
Text
org
anis
atio
n a
nd
pu
nct
uat
ion
Mrs
Wen
tlebe
rry
is o
ne o
fth
e m
ost m
emor
able
peo
ple
tha
t I h
ave
ever
met
.Eve
ry y
ear
we
used
to g
o ro
und
tohe
r ho
use
for
one
ofhe
r ‘s
peci
al’t
eas
– th
unde
r an
dlig
htni
ng,s
he c
alle
d it.
The
thun
der
was
a la
rge
dollo
p of
crea
m a
nd th
e lig
htni
ng w
as a
twis
t of
gold
en s
yrup
.Thi
sm
ixtu
re w
as p
iled
onto
a h
omem
ade
scon
e.M
y fo
urbr
othe
rs a
nd I
sat i
n si
lenc
e,ey
es a
gog,
alre
ady
alm
ost
tast
ing
the
swee
t,th
ick
mix
ture
in o
ur m
outh
s.
She
was
a la
rge
lady
.Her
rou
nd,r
ed fa
ce h
ad p
uffy
chee
ks.S
he u
sed
too
muc
h m
ake-
up w
hich
mad
e he
rlip
s lo
ok ra
ther
sta
rtlin
g,br
ight
as
a gu
ard’
s un
iform
tha
t Iha
d se
en a
t Buc
king
ham
Pal
ace.
Her
hai
r w
as p
iled
upan
d he
ld in
pla
ce b
y a
smal
l,th
in n
et.S
he a
lway
s w
ore
larg
e dr
esse
s w
ith b
right
flor
al p
atte
rns
tha
t flo
pped
arou
nd h
er.I
t was
like
wa
tchi
ng a
larg
e cu
rtai
n m
ovin
gab
out.
I trie
d no
t to
star
e.
For
such
a la
rge
lady
,she
had
a v
ery
smal
l voi
ce.“
Who
’sfo
r th
unde
r?”
she
trill
ed.M
y br
othe
rs a
nd I
wer
e fa
mou
sfo
r gi
gglin
g bu
t on
thes
e oc
casi
ons
we
had
swor
n a
pact
ofto
tal s
ilenc
e.N
o-on
e da
red
look
at a
nyon
e el
se in
case
a s
nigg
er b
egan
to s
prea
d.W
e kn
ew w
hat i
t wou
ldm
ean
– no
tea!
She
wou
ld p
ass
out t
he p
late
s,pi
le h
igh
the
crea
m a
ndsy
rup,
pour
tea.
She
had
a th
in g
old
ring
on h
er le
ft ha
nd.
But
no
husb
and.
I thi
nk h
avin
g us
to te
a w
as h
er tr
eat a
sm
uch
as o
urs.
Con
nect
ive
phra
se t
unes
rea
der
in
Pun
ctua
tion
use
d fo
r sp
ecifi
c ef
fect
Com
poun
d se
nten
ce t
oelab
orat
e on
pre
viou
s ph
rase
Adj
ecti
val p
hras
e dr
oppe
d in
Sim
ple
sent
ence
for
eff
ect
Spe
cific ad
ject
ive
Sim
iles
to h
elp
read
er v
isua
lise
Spe
cific ve
rb t
o he
lp v
isua
lise
Con
tras
ting
adj
ecti
ves
Ver
b su
gges
ts b
ird
Pun
ctua
tion
for
eff
ect
Sho
rt s
ente
nce
star
ting
wit
hco
njun
ctio
n fo
r em
phas
is
Eac
h pa
ragr
aph
star
ts w
ith
the
char
acte
r,an
d op
enin
g wor
ds o
fm
iddl
e tw
o pa
ragr
aphs
foc
us o
nhe
r si
ze
for
emph
asis
Co
mp
osi
tio
n a
nd
eff
ect
Intr
oduc
tory
sen
tenc
e se
ts u
p ex
pect
atio
n,w
hich
is d
elay
ed u
ntil
next
par
agra
ph.D
escr
iptio
ns
incl
ude
her
appe
aran
ce,v
oice
and
man
ner,
and
the
effe
ct s
he h
ad o
n th
e au
thor
.Refl
ectiv
e
com
men
t at e
nd li
nks
back
to b
egin
ning
.
Demonstration-writeRead
Sto
ry o
pen
ing
:ch
arac
ter
The National Literacy Strategy
41
Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003:
Narrative Writing Unit
Resource sheet 5c
OHT for analysis
Resource sheet 13a
OHT Warehouse setting
The wind whipped the snowacross the roads. Already youcould barely see anything in front of you. It was too cold tobe out. The snowstormblindfolded the town, mufflingthe world in white silence.
At first, it was quite dark insidethe warehouse. Years of dusthad covered the windows with a thin layer and only a faint lightfiltered through. Each footstepechoed, leaving behind a trail offootprints through the dust.Boxes of different sizes werepiled high, like strange towers.Cobwebs hung between theboxes like lace nets.
The National Literacy Strategy
42
Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003:
Narrative Writing Unit
Resource sheet 13b
Annotated Warehouse setting
Sen
ten
ce s
tru
ctu
re a
nd
pu
nct
uat
ion
Text
org
anis
atio
n a
nd
pu
nct
uat
ion
The
win
d w
hipp
ed th
e sn
ow a
cros
s th
e ro
ads.
Alre
ady
you
coul
d ba
rely
see
any
thin
g in
fr
ont o
fyo
u.It
was
too
cold
to b
e ou
t.T
hesn
owst
orm
blin
dfol
ded
the
tow
n,m
uffli
ng th
ew
orld
in w
hite
sile
nce.
At f
irst,
it w
as q
uite
dar
k in
side
the
war
ehou
se.
Year
s of
dust
had
cov
ered
the
win
dow
s w
ith a
thin
laye
r an
d on
ly a
fain
t lig
ht fi
ltere
d th
roug
h.E
ach
foot
step
ech
oed,
leav
ing
behi
nd a
trai
l of
foot
prin
ts th
roug
h th
e du
st.B
oxes
of
diff
eren
tsi
zes
wer
e pi
led
high
,lik
e st
rang
e to
wer
s.C
obw
ebs
hung
bet
wee
n th
e bo
xes
like
lace
nets
.An
aban
done
d la
dder
lay
at a
n aw
kwar
dan
gle
acro
ss w
hat l
ooke
d lik
e an
old
tele
visi
onse
t.Its
wire
s sp
illed
out
.Mar
riott
stoo
d st
ill fo
ra
mom
ent a
nd le
t his
bre
ath
ing
settl
e.
It w
as th
en th
at h
e he
ard
it.T
he fa
inte
st o
fso
unds
– a
floo
rboa
rd c
reak
ed.T
hen,
anot
her.
He
stoo
d qu
ite s
till,
his
sens
es a
lert
,str
aini
ngto
list
en.F
or a
long
whi
le th
ere
was
qui
te q
uiet
– on
ly th
e di
stan
t mur
mur
ings
of
the
win
ddr
iftin
g sn
ow.T
hen
som
ebod
y co
ughe
d..
.
Per
soni
fica
tion
sug
gest
s ca
ptur
e,im
pris
onm
ent
Spe
cific ve
rb
Alli
tera
tion
for
eff
ect
Com
plex
sen
tenc
e,em
phas
isin
gso
und
and
sigh
t
Ope
ning
sen
tenc
es w
ith
noun
sgi
ves
effe
ct o
f re
ader
’s e
yes
trav
ellin
g th
e ro
om
Alli
tera
tive
sen
tenc
e –
impl
ies
he’s
bee
n ru
nnin
gA
dds
to s
ense
of
mys
tery
Tru
ncat
ed s
ente
nce
for
susp
ense
Cla
use
drop
ped
in t
osu
mm
aris
e hi
s fe
elin
gs
Elli
psis
for
sus
pens
e
Ope
ning
par
agra
ph:wea
ther
outs
ide
to e
stab
lish
tone
of
piec
e an
d ef
fect
on
sens
es
2nd
par
agra
ph m
oves
insi
deto
des
crib
e m
ain
sett
ing
3rd
par
agra
ph s
ets
up t
heac
tion
in t
he s
etti
ng
Co
mp
osi
tio
n a
nd
eff
ect
Em
phas
is th
roug
hout
on
wha
t can
(an
d ca
n’t)
be
seen
and
hea
rd.I
ntro
duct
ion
ofch
arac
ter
and
why
he’s
ther
e de
laye
d to
bui
ld s
uspe
nse.
Sto
ry o
pen
ing
:set
tin
g
The National Literacy Strategy
43
Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003:
Narrative Writing Unit
Resource sheet 5c
OHT for analysis
Resource sheet 14a
OHT Action opening
Without hesitating, Jude ran.
Almost immediately, she could
hear the sound of someone
shouting and then the barking of
the dog. Her feet pounded on
the pavement, her heart
thudded. She felt sick. They
would be after her by now. In
her mind’s eye, she could see
the dog, straining on the leash
ready to leap, its powerful body
tugging forwards. Desperately,
she ran on, fear driving her.
The National Literacy Strategy
44
Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003:
Narrative Writing Unit
Resource sheet 14b
Annotated Action story
Sen
ten
ce s
tru
ctu
re a
nd
pu
nct
uat
ion
Text
org
anis
atio
n a
nd
pu
nct
uat
ion
With
out h
esita
ting,
Jude
ran.
Alm
ost i
mm
edia
tely
,she
cou
ldhe
ar th
e so
und
ofso
meo
nesh
outin
g an
d th
en th
e ba
rkin
g of
the
dog.
Her
feet
pou
nded
on
the
pave
men
t,he
r he
art
thud
ded.
She
felt
sick
.The
y w
ould
be
afte
r he
r by
now
.In
her
min
d’s
eye,
she
coul
d se
e th
e do
g,st
rain
ing
on th
e le
ash
read
y to
leap
,its
pow
erfu
l bod
ytu
ggin
g fo
rwar
ds.D
espe
rate
ly,
she
ran
on,f
ear
driv
ing
her.
At t
he e
nd o
fth
e al
ley,
Jude
scra
mbl
ed o
ver
the
fenc
e an
dhe
aded
acr
oss
Witc
het's
fiel
dto
war
ds th
e w
ood.
The
re w
ere
tree
s to
clim
b th
ere
and
the
stre
am m
ight
thro
w th
e do
g of
fth
e sc
ent.
Ifon
ly s
he c
ould
bea
tth
em to
it.A
s sh
e re
ache
d th
efir
st fe
w tr
ees
she
slow
ed d
own,
look
ing
for
a pl
ace
to h
ide.
She
paus
ed b
y a
larg
e oa
k,st
ared
up
into
its
bran
ches
,won
derin
g if
she
coul
d cl
imb
it.
Adv
erbi
al p
hras
e at
star
t em
phas
ises
pac
e
Spe
cific ve
rbs
sugg
est
soun
d an
drh
ythm
to
emph
asis
e sp
eed
Pro
noun
hid
es a
gent
Sho
rt s
ente
nce
for
effe
ct
Com
mas
sep
arat
e clau
ses
to h
elp
read
er
Adv
erb
to s
tres
s he
r pl
ight
Con
cise
sen
tenc
e m
oves
act
ion
on
Evo
cati
ve n
ame
adds
to
fear
Con
diti
onal
ver
bs s
ugge
stpo
ssib
iliti
es
Suc
cess
ion
of v
erbs
helps
mai
ntai
n ac
tion
whi
lesu
gges
ting
asl
owin
g of
pac
e
!st
para
grap
h fo
cuse
s on
pa
ce a
nd fl
ight
.2
nd in
trod
uces
hop
e of
esc
ape
Co
mp
osi
tio
n a
nd
eff
ect
Act
ion
burs
t on
to th
e pa
ge,e
stab
lishi
ng c
lear
scen
ario
– c
hara
cter
nee
ds to
esc
ape.
Rea
l sou
nds
and
imag
inar
y si
ghts
mak
e th
e ac
tion
real
istic
.
Sto
ry o
pen
ing
:act
ion
The National Literacy Strategy
45
Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003:
Narrative Writing Unit
Resource sheet 5c
OHT for analysis
Resource sheet 14c
OHT ending of Action story
It was half an hour after leaving Witchet’s Wood when Jude reached home. No-one hadfollowed her. She was certain of that. Sitting inthe back of the bus, she had been able to lookback and double check. Jude grinned to herself,wondering if they were still inside the wood, stillsearching the bushes, peering into the trees,frightening pheasants, probably lost . . .
A nasty surprise waited her when she got home.Her mother was standing by the front door.
“Where have you been?” she snapped, foldingher arms and staring at her daughter. It was anawkward moment. After all, her mother hadforbidden her to go anywhere near the park atthe old Grange.
“I met Trish and we went back to her house,”she lied. Her Mother gave her one of herspecial ‘looks’, then turned and went into thehouse. Relieved, Jude watched her backdisappearing. She had been lucky – she hadescaped her pursuers and fooled her mother.But she still had no idea why anyone wanted to ban visitors to the old park at the Grange.What was their secret?
The National Literacy Strategy
46
Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003:
Narrative Writing Unit
Resource sheet 14d
Demonstration-writing: middle of Action story
But it was too high and she could already hear them stumbling into thewood, calling for her. Jude dashed on, thrusting brambles aside, thinbranches whipping into her face. Hide, I must hide, she thought. At that moment she noticed a slight dip in the ground, covered in ferns andold branches. Without thinking about it she dived in, pulling the ferns over her.
It was dark in the ditch – and damp. She could smell the earth and thewet leaves. Sunlight filtered through the branches and ferns that coveredher. She tried to steady her breathing but her heart thudded so loudlythat she was sure that someone else could hear it.
At that moment the dog padded over to her. It stopped by the ditch. Judeheld her breath and froze, still as stone. The dog stuck its nose throughthe branches and sniffed her leg. “Good boy,” whispered Jude. To heramazement, it wagged its tail. Its pink tongue hung down, dripping salivaonto her jeans.
A voice shouted and the dog turned, leaving Jude behind and setting offin another direction. Jude lay there, staring through the branches up intothe sky. Breath whistled through her lips as she let out a sigh of relief. Allbark and no bite, she thought to herself. It was quiet now. They hadmoved on.
Wriggling out of the ditch, Jude made her way back to the edge of thewood where there was a lane that curved round the field and down to the Grange. She glanced both ways and as the road was empty shedashed up the lane to the bus stop. One was due in five minutes. Fromthe other side of the wood she could hear barking and voices shouting.Then a pheasant took off in a clatter of wings . . .
Rea
dD
emon
stra
tion-
writ
e
The National Literacy Strategy
47
Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003:
Narrative Writing Unit
Resource sheet 5c
OHT for analysis
Resource sheet 14e
Annotated middle of Action story
Sen
ten
ce s
tru
ctu
re a
nd
pu
nct
uat
ion
Text
org
anis
atio
n a
nd
pu
nct
uat
ion
At t
hat m
omen
t the
dog
pad
ded
over
to h
er.I
tst
oppe
d by
the
ditc
h.Ju
de h
eld
her
brea
th a
ndfr
oze,
still
as
ston
e.T
he d
og s
tuck
its
nose
thro
ugh
the
bran
ches
and
sni
ffed
her
leg.
“Goo
d bo
y,”
whi
sper
ed J
ude.
To h
eram
azem
ent,
it w
agge
d its
tail.
Its p
ink
tong
uehu
ng d
own,
drip
ping
sal
iva
onto
her
jean
s.
A v
oice
sho
uted
and
the
dog
turn
ed,l
eavi
ngJu
de b
ehin
d an
d se
tting
off
in a
noth
er d
irect
ion.
Jude
lay
ther
e,st
arin
g th
roug
h th
e br
anch
es u
pin
to th
e sk
y.B
rea
th w
hist
led
thro
ugh
her
lips
assh
e le
t out
a s
igh
ofre
lief.
All
bark
and
no
bite
,sh
e th
ough
t to
hers
elf.
It w
as q
uiet
now
.The
yha
d m
oved
on.
Wrig
glin
g ou
t of
the
ditc
h,Ju
de m
ade
her
way
back
to th
e ed
ge o
fth
e w
ood
whe
re th
ere
was
ala
ne th
at c
urve
d ro
und
the
field
and
dow
n to
the
Gra
nge.
She
gla
nced
bot
h w
ays
and
as th
ero
ad w
as e
mpt
y sh
e da
shed
up
the
lane
to th
ebu
s st
op.O
ne w
as d
ue in
five
min
utes
.Fro
m th
eot
her
side
of
the
woo
d sh
e co
uld
hear
bar
king
and
voic
es s
hout
ing.
The
n a
phea
sant
took
off
in a
cla
tter
ofw
ings
...
Adv
erbi
al o
peni
ng t
osi
gnify
surp
rise
Sim
ile +
alli
tera
tion
mak
esef
fect
ive
imag
e
Spe
cific ve
rb
Con
nect
ive
phra
se a
t st
art
ofse
nten
ce e
mph
asis
es s
urpr
ise
Sub
ordi
nate
cla
use
sugg
esti
ng p
eace
Use
of
idio
mat
ic p
hras
e re
fers
to d
og a
nd p
ursu
ers?
Sim
ple
sent
ence
to
end
desc
ript
ion
of p
ursu
it
Com
plex
sen
tenc
e m
oves
the
acti
on o
n
Sub
ordi
nate
cla
use
is a
conc
ise
way
of
conv
eyin
g lo
tsof
info
rmat
ion
that
wou
ldde
trac
t fr
om t
he p
lot
Elli
psis
impl
ies
they
are
sti
llse
ekin
g he
r
Eac
h pa
ragr
aph
deal
s wit
h a
sepa
rate
pha
se o
f th
e ac
tion