In which babies are born, clones are

formed and I wonder why in the name of

Ra I'm still doing this.

First, a Reepie update.

He is (barely) still here! He's made it

right through Klaus and Regina's college

time and kids A-E. He is gunna make it.

Or else.

Last time the youngest kids, the E

triplets, became toddlers. They're still toddlers, and still playing with

their blocks.

'Bwoks fun Awice!'

I'm sure they are. From left to right

that's Emery, Emmett and

Edward. Emery's sweet, Edward's hot

and Emmett's demanding.

'I wuv diz blok.'

'Gimme it.'

'No Emmett. Iz my bwok!'

'Gimme it! NOW!'

*wipes tear* I love you Emmett. I really

do. And no longer just because of your

namesake.

And here's the only other kid in the house

at the moment, Donna.

'Hey.'

Where's the purple hair?

'When I visited Carrie at college she gave

me different coloured streaks for each

outfit.'

Awesome.

'Yes, now leave me to study.'

Yes ma'am.

And, of course, Regina and Klaus are still with us.

'Don't sound to put out, Alice.'

Sorry. It's just when I started this, I never expected to get this

far. Now that I have, it's a bit

overwhelming.

Oh, and also in this picture is the foetus

of baby F.

'Great. More kids.'

Shh it you!

Sorry Donna

Cleaning

In England we are known for our

drunkenness. A foreign exchange

student from Germany even old

us that we drink too much. She was

German, and I’ve been to Germany.

That’s how bad we are. According to

the ONS (Office of National Statistics)

two-fifths of English men and a quarter of English women exceed the

recommended amount of alcohol on at least one day

of the week. The legal drinking age is eighteen, but no one

waits that long. Drinking is a

national pastime.

That's right baby.

'Alice!'

It's my hormones! Tell them off! Or

you could spank me.

'Alice!'

Sorry, sorry. Maybe if you wore some

clothes. You really could give a

romance sim the wrong idea.

'Again?'

When are you going to get this, Genie?

Lots more again. You're on F at the

moment. We want to get to Z.

'Would it be cliche if I told you that I hate

you?'

A little, yes.

'I think I'm okay with that. I hate you!'

I wouldn't have it any other way.

Body.

Sex and the English (really, there is a

section in my reference book titled

thus)

The average age for first sex is sixteen,

while the global average is seventeen.

Sixteen is also the legal age. The

average number of partners is thirteen

for men and seven for women, but

researchers think that the gender disparity

is due to dishonesty.

To be continued…

Nawwww. Hello Emmett.

'Get me the hell out of here. I know

people who will do bad things to you.'

Just a moment. *checks notes* Ah, here's the problem.

You only have three nice points.

'Kid, you wanna sleep with the fishes?'

*pats head* Cute little thing.

'Awice, we tired!'

'Servants, take me to bed! I will give you all concrete shoes!'

'Awice!'

Awww, cuties. Ten kids in and I still

suck at raising them.

Emery! No!

'Gween twesure.'

Nope. Just...no! Gross!

'Not gwoss. Naaaaaaaaice!'

*shiver*

Umm....Emmett?

'She likes it.'

Emmett?

'I said that she likes it. And you can now

call me Don.'

No I can't.

I caved. Regina and Klaus have been

spinning wants for a pet since forever.

This is a little girl puppy called Toffee.

She's rather cute.

'Arf!'

I hate dogs. But Toffee's okay I

guess.

These three are such a handful. They

make me miss the quads.

'Emery, it's a simple nursery rhyme.'

'No like it. Want gween twesure!'

*eye roll*

You gunna cause trouble too?

'No. You told me to sit here and look

pwetty.'

Good boy. I like him.

Whoops! Skunk!

No, wait, that's just Edward passed out.

*sigh* I can't wait for them to leave.

And what are the parents doing?

Spying on the roof, of course.

'Oooh. Thanks Klaus. Spying on the

neighbours always makes my back ache.'

They have their first dream date in forever.

I should give them more, for the points,

but I'm just too lazy.

Logic.

9% of women and 14.6% of men are

engaged in more than one relationship at

the same time. 51% are happy with their sex lives, compared to the 36% in Italy

and the 38% in France. 4% of

Londoners (people living in London)

claim to have had sex on an aeroplane, and

15% on public transport. There really is nothing

sexier than a big red bus.

To be continued…

Charisma. And you're done. Wow.

That was the fastest any kid has done that. 3 days into

childhood. Donna, I love you.

Bondage is most popular in the

Midlands, where 40% of men and

women have experimented with

handcuffs, blindfolds, restrains or whips. However,

people from the Midlands are also the most likely to suffer from STIs

(9%).

To be continued…

YAY!

I wanted this for so long, and now it's really happening.

'ALICE!!!'

Shh. Don't spoil this for me.

Hoopla!

And Genie will be happy too, because

it means that she doesn't have to have

twins.

Though I wouldn't mind twins.

But aliens is just as awesome.

'Klaus! Tell your friends to throw you

to the floor more quietly. Pregnant woman trying to

sleep here!'

Regina, you never cease to amaze me with your naturally

loving nature.

'That was more painful than a night

with Regina.'

I knew it!

Oh, and keep that kinda stuff to

yourself. Young people might wander

in and read this. Apparently. I dunno.

Maybe I should delete that entry

about bondage in that case…or not.

'Wait...take me with you aliens! Don't leave me with all

these kids!'

Poor Klaus. Now...take off your

shirt.

'What?'

Please. I'm having a bad day and need

cheering up.

'No, I'm keeping my shirt on. And I'm still

upset about that robbery at the

beginning of the last chapter.'

*eye roll* Great. That was over a week ago!

Get over it!

'Ooooh. I feel just like Regina does

every time she calls me a-' (the rest of this sentence has

been censored) -'and takes away my milk

money.'

Poor Klaus. Now, who wants to

ponder exactly where the kid's

gunna come out from? Because this

is a real man pregnancy, not like

that jerk in America.

HE HAS A WOMB! HE IS

NOT A MAN! HE'S A WOMAN!

Sorry, that story just really annoys me. It wasn't a miracle. It

was disturbing.

Klaus pops into crappy pyjamas just as Regina gives one

final push.

Please be a boy. We don't have enough

boys in the family.

Oh. It's a girl. Green eyed, blonde haired, skin tone one. Cute

really. Aww.

Her name is Felix, after the cat food. It's my Mogget's

favourite, so I decided to name a

kid after it.

It's my game and I can do what I like!

Also, it's birthday time x3.

Sorry for the crappy picture. I got

distracted by a shiny penny.

Here's Emmett.

'Alice, do not use this picture, else I'll send

the muscles to deal with you. I was not

ready.'

You don't scare me, and you're starting to

show my lack of knowledge about

mafia films.

This little cutie is Edward.

'Hi.'

Quiet and unassuming as

always.

And this is the gorgeous Emery.

'I'm pretty?'

Yes you are hon.

'YAY!'

Okay, Emmett has her cute side too.

'Keep hugging me Edward. The

deception is working.'

'I just want Mr Fuzzkins back.'

Emmett! Give the boy back his bear and stop trying to be nice.

I hate that.

'Kids, in a few days I'm going to have a

baby.'

'Dad, I though ladies were meant to have

babies.'

'They are, but Maxis ignored that fact and I now have an alien

foetus in my...manwomb.'

'Dad?'

'Yes Edward.'

'Don't ever let that happen to me.'

Edward's just an old fashioned guy with

the old fashioned idea that women

should have babies.

With all her skills maxed, Donna takes

over the garden. It was getting pretty bad since neither Klaus or Regina

bothered anymore.

By the time she left for college she has

the silver badge. SCORE!

Aww. Toffee, for a mutt, you're pretty

cute.

'Arf?'

Whatever. Like I understand dog. I barely understand

English.

Toffee is Klaus's pet. She just follows him

around all day. In fact, it was so cute I didn't even kill her for jumping on his

bed.

'Alice! The baby kicked!'

You're so chuffed about this.

'I'm a Knowledge/Family

sim.'

So's Regina, but you'd never get her

being nice to her kids.

No words. Just too cute.

Okay, I lied about Genie. She's picked the one kid of hers

to be nice to, and it's Felix. She actually

plays with and rolls up wants for Felix,

or Lix as I call her.

The apocalypse is nigh!

CRAP! It really is nigh!

'Arf. *doggish whine*'

Klaus?

Well...this is unfortunate.

Who's chest will I stare at now?

'Only joshing!* I'm fine!'

Grr.

Okay, that joke is so lame and old and

overused, but whatever. I just love

the animation so much.

*Joshing : To joke. Also known as

“giraffing”, as in “having a giraffe”.

'A+!'

Don't you dare do the dance.

'But-'

Donna.

'Fine. I'll go and garden.'

That's my girl.

Emery, you make me almost like nice sims.

This was an autonomous,

impromptu duet between her and her

cross-dressing friend.

Okay, that's a girl over there, but

whatever.

It was still cute.

'Alice?'

Yes Klaus?

'Who are the strange women eating the

lobster I made for the headmaster?'

In the front is Widget, writer of the

Discworld and Timelord legacies,

which are awesomeness, and in the back is the brain

behind Flaming O'Leery (an OWBC

over at boolprop) known as

Fuzzyspork.

'Huh?'

They're Sims elves, recently reintroduced

to my game after months of absence.

'Oh...'

Yeah. An as always we are still recruiting.

'Okay, last time you were here, you tried to kiss me. But now I'm a huge pregnant

man, so you won't try that this time...right?'

'Actually sir, the big belly makes you even

more attractive.'

'ALICE!'

Sorry Klaus. You wanted the kids in

private school.

MOAR BUFFDAY!

'Alice! She's bald!'

To the batcave!

'What?'

Mirror. I mean mirror.

And here the little tomboy is. Lix is

rather cute, like the rest of her sibs. Though she did inherit Regina's

slightly slanted eyes, and I'm bored of

them now.

'Shh. My daughter is perfect.'

*backs away* Genie, you're scaring me.

KLAUS!

'What? It's the bathing suit! I'm

only a man!'

If Genie weren't so mean, I'd be upset. As it is, go ahead.

Wanting to keep her happy, I let Genie

teach Lix her toddler skills.

'Her name is Felix. Not Lix.'

My game. My rules. My nicknames.

'She was never this nice to the other kids.'

I know Klaus. I think she's cracking.

'Oi!'

Or not.

Oh, Edward. You look so spiffing in

your new uniform.

'Thank you.'

Nawww. Cuteness.

'Hey Lix! You wanna play with

Daddy?'

'YAY! Flying like a eeeeeeeeeeeeeeagle!

'

'WHERE'S MY FELIX!'

'Damn, Mummy's coming. Gotta run

Lix!'

'OOoooooooooooooooooooooooowww!

No wonder Genie hates me!'

Same old joke, ressurected by Alice with love and care.

It's...not green?

Apparently my game's a bitch and

because I have a replacement

pollination technician to negate the fugly

maxis aliens, it flipped out.

So, this is the Klaus clone, Gienah, named

after a star.

Mechanical.

People in the north-west partake in the

most risky sexual behaviour, with 56%

prepared to have unprotected sex with a stranger. However,

it makes them happy, as 57% of the

region’s women are happy with their sex

lives.

To be continued…(there is a lot about

sex in this book)

Mechanical.

20% of people from London, the north-east and Yorkshire have filmed/taken

pictures of themselves during

sex, probably leading to the fact that the

Yorkshire people are the most fulfilled,

with 57% satisfied with their sex lives.

The have more sex in Yorkshire than

anywhere else in the country, and 40%

have done it in their parent’s bedroom.

To be continued…

Creativity.

The ten most porn-addicted placed in the

country are:

1) West Bromwich 2) Solihull

3) Milton Keynes 4) Birmingham

5) Portsmouth (woot! My hometown)

6) Thames Ditton 7) Reading 8) Ipswich

9) Sheffield 10) Basildon

To be continued…

So cute.

Do I really need to come up with

something here? You can all see what's

happening.

Can't you?

'Wooo! Go Donna!'

'I'm Emery. Donna's over there.'

'Oh.'

Do you need glasses, Eddie?

'No! That would spoil my cuteness.'

Eh, it works for Bennie and Klaus.

Eek! the hair!

'To the batcave!'

Right on Donna.

I didn't right down what aspiration she

rolled, but I'm pretty sure it was Pleasure.

And next up it's Gienah.

Who's birthday was cut short as the butler

tried to assassinate the family.

'Yeah, college? I'll have to call you back

after crisis has been averted here. Yes, I

am a Havar. How did you know?'

Anyways, the party is picked back up by

Donna, and we get going for Gienah

grow up take two.

'Mum, Dad. Stop smooching and let me get your alien spawn to a cake.'

Isn't she cute? She definitely rivals

Carrie.

And here is female Klaus in miniature.

She is awesomely cute, though, just like

her daddy.

But she's not green and doesn't count as a

challenge child, so forget her.

Hey there Lix. A brief moment of

freedom from your crazy mum?

'She say summit bout room for more

babies.'

Ah, with Donna gone that is true.

Cleaning.

The ‘English Vice’. (yeah, we have our

own vice) According to the

French, le vice anglais is

flagellation, although it can refer

to homosexuality. Whichever, we’re

good at them both.

To be continued…

'Mum, Dad? What are you doing? I

wanted to sleep in your bed.'

'You're old enough to hear this from me

now Admes.'

'It's Edward, Mum.'

'Whatever Bennie. Daddy and Mummy

are having some grown up time to

placate the sadistic young adult out there

who wants us to make lots of babies.

Now, this is the only pleasant part of the entire cycle, so get

lost!'

Nice Regina. Way to parent there!

Edward...

'Bad Toffee. Mummy and Daddy

told us all to go away.'

Edward...maybe it's time for you to leave

too.

Poor kid will be ruined for life.

Emmett?

Great, someone killed off my

Godfather. Now I'll actually have to buy the films to find out

what's meant to happen now.

I hate mafia politics.

Okay, my mother distracted me with

sweets during Lix's birthday, but here

she is all grown up. Isn't she cute?

'Thanks Alice. But I gotta run to the

group photo.'

I'll join you.

From left to right, back to front, it's

Gienah, Klaus, Regina, Emery,

Emmett, Emery and Felix.

The end of another week, and the points

are:

Good Birthday Memories : 23 (23

points) A+ Report Cards :

14 (7 points) Skills Maxed : 53

(159 points) Family Friends : 11

(5.5 points) LTW : 4 (12 points)

Dream Dates : 9 (9 points)

Total : 215.5