new era- august 2014.pdf

52
New Era TH E YOUTH MAGAZINE OF THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER-DA Y SAINTS AUGUST 2014 THE ULTIMATE  Adveture  pp. 32, 36, 38 DO’S AND DON’TS OF DEFENDING YOUR BELIEFS  p. 18 THE Dating Academy  p. 26 WHAT IF MOM WORKS? TIPS FOR BONDING  p. 44  PLUS SUNDAY LESSON HELPS  pp. 24, 41

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 152

New EraTHE

Y O U T H M A G A Z I N E O F T H E C H U R C H O F J E S U S C H R I S T O F L AT T E R - D AY S A I N T S

AUGUST 2014

THE ULTIMATE Adve983150ture pp 32 36 38

DOrsquoS AND DONrsquoTS OF

DEFENDING YOUR BELIEFS p 18

THE Dating Academy p 26

WHAT IF MOM WORKS

TIPS FOR BONDING p 44

PLUS SUNDAY LESSON HELPS

pp 24 41

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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August 2014 bull Volume 44 bull Number 8

THE MONTHLY YOUTH MAGAZINE OF

THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRI ST OF LATTER-DAY SAI N TS

New Era

THE

Y O U T H M A G A Z I N E O F T H E C H U R C H O F J E S U S C H R I S T O F L A T T E R - D AY S A I N T S

AUGUST 2014

THE ULTIMATE

Adve983150ture pp 32 36 38

DOrsquoSANDDONrsquoTSOF

DEFENDING YOUR BELIEFS p 18

THEDating Academy p 26

WHATIFMOM WORKS

TIPS FOR BONDING p 44

PLUSSUNDAY

LESSON

HELPS pp 2441

The First Presidency Thomas S Monson Henry B Eyring Dieter F Uchtdorf

The Quorum of the Twelve Apostles Boyd K Packer L Tom Perry Russell M NelsonDallin H Oaks M Russell Ballard Richard G ScottRobert D Hales Jeffrey R Holland David A BednarQuentin L Cook D Todd Christofferson Neil LAndersen

Editor Craig A CardonAdvisers Jose L Alonso Mervyn B Arnold

Shayne M Bowen Stanley G Ellis Christoffel Golden

Managing Director David T WarnerDirector of Operations Vincent A VaughnDirector of Church Magazines Allan R LoyborgBusiness Manager Garff Cannon

Managing Editor Brittany BeattieAssistant Managing Editor Joshua J PerkeyPublications Assistant Sally Johnson Odekirk

Writing and Editing Ryan Carr David DicksonDavid A Edwards Matthew D Flitton Mindy RayeFriedman Lori Fuller Garrett H Garff Jennifer GraceJones Michael R Morris Richard M Romney PaulVanDenBergheEditorial Intern Hillary Olsen

Managing Art Director J Scott Knudsen

Art Director K Nicole WalkenhorstDesign Jeanette Andrews Fay P AndrusMandie M Bentley

Intellectual Property Coordinator Collette Nebeker AuneProduction Manager Jane Ann PetersPrepress Joshua Dennis

Printing Director Craig K SedgwickDistribution Director Stephen R Christiansen

copy 2014 by Intellectual Reserve Inc All rightsreserved The New Era (ISSN 0164-5285) ispublished monthly by The Church of Jesus Christ ofLatter-day Saints 50 E North Temple St Salt LakeCity UT 84150-0024 USA Periodicals PostagePaid at Salt Lake City Utah

To subscribe By phone Call 1-800-537-5971 to order using VisaMasterCard Discover Card or American ExpressOnline Go to storeldsorgBy mail Send $8 US check or money order toDistribution Services PO Box 26368 Salt Lake CityUT 84126-0368 USA

To change address Send old and new address information toDistribution ServicesPO Box 26368Salt Lake City UT 84126-0368 USAPlease allow 60 days for changes to take effect

Visit the New Era online at neweraldsorg

Copyright information Text and visual material inthe New Era may be copied for incidental noncom-mercial church or home use Visual material may notbe copied if restrictions are indicated in the creditline with the artwork Copyright questions shouldbe addressed to Intellectual Property Office 50 ENorth Temple St Salt Lake City UT 84150 USA emailcor-intellectualproperty ldschurchorg

POSTMASTER Send all UAA to CFS (see DMM7074125) NON-POSTAL AND MILITARY FA-CILITIES Send address corrections to DistributionServices Church Magazines PO Box 26368 SaltLake City UT 84126-0368 USA

Canada Post Information Publication Agreement40017431

Cover Marriage and familymdashthe ultimate adventure

pp 32ndash39

Cover photograph Cody Bell

To submit manuscripts or art Online Go to neweraldsorg andclick ldquoSubmit Your Workrdquo

Email neweraldschurchorg

Mail New Era Editorial 50 E North Temple StRm 2420 Salt Lake City UT 84150-0024 USA Forreturn include a self-addressed stamped envelope

IN EVERY ISSUE

2 THE MESSAGE

Truths Most WorthKnowingIf you have stumbled or even beenlost for a time you can move for-ward with faith and not wander toand fro in the world any longer

President Boyd K Packer

22 FOR THE STRENGTH OF YOUTH

Defy Gravity Go Forward

with FaithAs you keep moving forward youcan stay upright even when outside

forces try to pull you down

Bonnie L Oscarson

32 SUNDAY LESSON HELP

Why Marriage IsAwesomeA recently married young coupletells it like it is

35 MORMONAD

Missionary Companions

40 TO THE POINT

Reading ldquoromanticrdquo booksno burning desire to sharethe gospel

41 COME FOLLOW ME

The Family

Use these cards to help youprepare for Sunday lessonson marriage and family

43 THE EXTRA SMILE

44 QUESTIONS amp ANSWERS

ldquoMy mom works all day Howcan I improve our relationshiprdquo

46 INSTANT MESSAGES

Insisting on misery forgiving friends a volleyball decision standards and friends

48 FROM CHURCH LEADERS

How to Be WiseNot all wisdom is created equalWe must yield our will to the wis-dom of God

Elder Neil L Andersen

49 CONFERENCE POSTERThe Happiness of MorePeople

President Henry B Eyring

Check out this article for support for this

monthrsquos Sunday lesson theme

New Era

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6 Banana Bread MissionariesYouth in Ecuador found a deliciousway to share the gospel with others

8 FROM THE MISSION FIELD

A Miracle at the AirportWould three missionaries be strand-ed at the airport Only a smallmiracle could prevent it

10 How to Be Money SmartGet some tips for increasing your

financial IQ

13 LINE UPON LINE

3 Nephi 1815 20ndash21Learn more about how the Saviortaught the importance of prayer

FEATURES

108

16

14 Irsquod Never Prayed Beforein That WayMy father said ldquoWait a minuteWe need to prayrdquo I said ldquoWeneed to whatrdquo

Elder Joseacute L Alonso

16 The 50-Mile HikeThe Scouts knew someone waslost They were surprised to find outwho it was

18 Dorsquos and Donrsquots of Defend-ing Your Beliefs

The scriptures and Church leadershave given us some clear and usefulguidelines for standing up for truth

24 Board Games and Brothers

The joy of being included turnedsour for one little brothermdashuntil hisbig brother made things right

26 The Dating AcademymdashSign Up TodayBecome a dating pro in sixeasy lessons

Matthew O Richardson

36 Why Being a Mom Rocks

A woman was told she was wastingher talent by getting married andhaving children Find out what shegained instead

38 Why Being a Dad Rocks

One man tells how he discoveredthat fatherhood is the adventureevery man was born for

36

26 The Dating Academymdash

Sign Up Today

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2 N e w E r a

Some youth have questions and are

searching for direction Others are

wondering how they got off the gos-

pel path and how they might return While

I speak to all I speak most earnestly to the

one who is seeking

Your Spiritual Account We all live on spiritual credit In one way

or another the account builds and builds If

you pay it off as you go you have little need

to worry Soon you begin to learn discipline

and know that there is a day of reckoning

ahead Learn to keep your spiritual account

paid off at regular intervals rather than allow-

ing it to collect interest and penalties

Because you are being tested it is expec-

ted that you will make some mistakes Iassume that you have done things in your life

that you regret things that you cannot even

apologize for much less correct therefore

you carry a burden You perhaps may feel

inferior in mind and body and are troubled

or burdened with the weight of some spiri-

tual account that is marked ldquopast duerdquo When

you come face to face with yourself in those

moments of quiet contemplation (which

many of us try to avoid) are there some

unsettled things that bother you Do you

have something on your conscience Are you

still to one degree or another guilty of any-

thing small or large

Too frequently we receive letters from

those who have made tragic mistakes and areburdened They beg ldquoCan I ever be forgiven

Can I ever changerdquo The answer is yes (See

1 Corinthians 1013)

Repentance Gives Relief

The gospel teaches us that relief from

torment and guilt can be earned through

repentance Save for those fewmdashthose very

fewmdashwho defect to perdition after hav-

ing known a fulness there is no habit noaddiction no rebellion no transgression no

offense small or large which is exempt from

the promise of complete forgiveness No

matter what has happened in your life the

Lord has prepared a way for you to come

back if you will heed the promptings of the

Holy Spirit

Some are filled with a compelling urge

By PresidentBoyd K Packer

President of theQuorum of theTwelve Apostles

TRUTHS

MOST WORTHKNOWING

If you have stumbled or even been lost for a time you can move forward

with faith and not wander to and fro in the world any longer

T H E M E S S A G E

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 3

a temptation that recycles in the mind perhaps to become

a habit then an addiction We are prone to some transgres-

sion and sin and also a rationalization that we have no guilt

because we were born that way We become trapped and

hence comes the pain and torment that only the Savior can

heal You have the power to stop and to be redeemed

A Rattlesnake Named Pornography

President Marion G Romney (1897ndash1988) First

Counselor in the First Presidency told me once ldquoDonrsquot just

tell them so that they can understand tell them so that theycannot misunderstandrdquo

So listen up I will speak plainly as one called and under

obligation to do so

You live in a day when the scourge of pornography

is sweeping across the world It is hard to escape it

Pornography is focused on that part of your nature through

which you have the power to beget life

To indulge in pornography leads to difficulties divorce

disease and troubles of a dozen kinds There is no part of

it that is innocent To collect it view it or carry it around in

any form is akin to keeping a rattlesnake in your backpack

It exposes you to the inevitable spiritual equivalent of theserpentrsquos strike with its injection of deadly venom One

can easily understand with the world being what it is that

you can almost innocently be exposed to it to read it or to

view it without realizing the terrible consequences If thatCollecting or viewing pornography is akin to keeping a rattlesnake

in your backpack

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4 N e w E r a

describes you I warn you to stop it Stop it now

The Book of Mormon teaches that all people ldquoare

instructed sufficiently that they know good from evilrdquo

(2 Nephi 25) That includes you You know what is rightand what is wrong Be very careful not to cross that line

Although most mistakes can be confessed privately to

the Lord there are some transgressions that require more

than that to bring about forgiveness If your mistakes

have been grievous see your bishop Otherwise ordinary

confession quietly and personally will do But remember

that great morning of forgiveness may not come all at once

If at first you stumble do not give up Overcoming discour-

agement is part of the test Do not give up And as I have

counseled before once you have confessed and forsaken your sins do not look back

The Lord is always there He is willing to suffer and

pay the penalty if you are willing to accept Him as your

Redeemer

The Saviorrsquos Suffering for Our Sins

As mortals we may notmdashindeed cannotmdashunderstand

fully how Jesus Christ fulfilled His atoning sacrifice But for

now the how is not as important as the why of His suffer-

ing Why did He do it for you for me for all of humanity

He did it for the love of God the Father and all mankind

ldquoGreater love hath no man than this that a man lay down

his life for his friendsrdquo ( John 1513)

In Gethsemane Christ went apart from His Apostles to

pray Whatever transpired is beyond our power to know

But we do know that He completed the Atonement He

was willing to take upon Himself the mistakes the sins and

guilt the doubts and fears of all the world He suffered for

us so that we would not have to suffer

Complete Forgiveness Is Possible

If you have stumbled or even been lost for a time if

you feel that the adversary now holds you captive you

can move forward with faith and not wander to and fro in

the world any longer There are those who stand ready to

guide you back to peace and security The grace of God

as promised in the scriptures comes ldquoafter all we can dordquo

(2 Nephi 2523) The possibility of this to me is the truth

most worth knowingI promise that the brilliant morning of forgiveness can

come Then ldquothe peace of God which passeth all under-

standingrdquo (Philippians 47) comes into your life once again

something like a sunrise and you and He ldquowill remember

[your] sin no morerdquo ( Jeremiah 3134) How will you know

you have been forgiven You will know (See Mosiah

41ndash3)

This is what I have come to teach you who are in

trouble He will step in and solve the problem you

cannot solve but you have to pay the price It does notcome without doing that He is a very kind ruler in the

sense that He will always pay the price necessary but He

wants you to do what you should even if it is painful

I love the Lord and I love the Father who sent Him

Our burdens of disappointment sin and guilt can

be laid before Him and on His generous terms each

item on the account can be marked ldquopaid in fullrdquo (See

Isaiah 118ndash19)

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 5

Live Faithfully and Remain Worthy

The scripture ldquolearn wisdom in thy youth yea learn in thy

youth to keep the commandments of Godrdquo (Alma 3735) is

an invitation attended by the promise of peace and protec-

tion from the adversary (See also 1 Timothy 412)

Do not expect that all will go smoothly throughout

your life Even for those who are living as they should

it sometimes will be just the opposite Meet each of lifersquos

challenges with optimism and surety and you will have the

peace and faith to sustain you now and in the future

For those who do not yet have all of the blessings youfeel you want and need to have I firmly believe that no

experience or opportunity essential for redemption and

salvation will be denied you who live faithfully Remain

worthy be hopeful patient and prayerful Things have

a way of working out The gift of the Holy Ghost will guide

you and direct your actions

I know you as the youth of the Church and I under-

stand that yoursquore not perfect but you are moving along that

road Have courage Know that any person who has a body

has power over one who has not1 Satan is denied a body

so if ever you are confronted with temptations know that

you outrank all those temptations if you will exercise the

agency given to Adam and Eve in the garden and passed

on to this very generation NE From a devotional given at Brigham Young University on November 6 2011

For the full text go to speechesbyuedu

NOTE

1 See Teachings of Presidents of the Church Joseph Smith (2007) 211

I promise that the brilliant morning of forgiveness can come

Find help overcoming pornographyat ldsorggoovercomeNE8

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 852

6 N e w E r a

By Mindy Raye FriedmanChurch Magazines

When they meet someone they

offer the person a piece of banana

bread When the person accepts he

or she is told that although the bread

is delicious and good for the body

the missionaries have a message that

will be nourishing to the personrsquos soul

The young men and their companions

then invite the person to meet withthe missionaries In this way theyrsquove

been able to get 40 to 50 referrals for

the missionaries in a couple of hours

The young men also fellowship the

members of their own quorums On

Saturdays they meet for a Young Men

983137983150983137983150983137 Be983137d

For these young men sharing a slice of bread has blessed

countless lives including their own

activity and to work on Duty to

God Then they visit the less-active

members of their quorum They

encourage them to attend church

and then invite them to come back

to play sports or participate in

another activity

In this way and many others

these young men are preparing tobe lifelong missionaries Two of

them (at right) share how they feel

strengthened and inspired by their

experiences

Missionaries

If someone offered you a piece

of delicious banana bread how

would you react For the young

men in a ward in Ecuador thatrsquos

one way they start conversations

about the gospel

Every two months they have a

missionary day with open houses in a

different area of their ward They splitinto several teams each made up of

a young man a full-time or recently

returned missionary and an elder or

high priest Some of the groups work

at a tent some go to contact people

in the park and some go door to door

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Ihave been a member of the Church

for five years My parents are not

members but my uncle Jorge is

the Young Men president and he

has been a great support I am also

grateful to my bishop for his con-

stant support and encouragement

I decided to get closer to the

Church after one of the missionary

days they had in the ward It was

one of my first experiences that

motivated me to join the Church As

a deacon teacher and now a priestmy leaders have always supported

and encouraged me to participate

in all of the missionary work activ-

ities I like the open houses where

I have the opportunity to share

with others the blessing of being a

member of Christrsquos Church What

inspires me most are the service

Changed by

the Gospel

Your Missio983150983137ry Ex983152erie983150ce s

As a deacon I learned my

responsibilities thanks to the

support of my parents and lead-

ers and working with the goals

in the Duty to God booklet As a

teacher I learned more by going

to do visits as a home teacher

participating in the open houses

on the missionary days sharing

banana bread attending Mutual

and participating in ward and

stake activities

Now as a priest I get tofocus more on missionary work

Working with the Young Men

president and as an assistant to

the bishop I have learned much

more about my responsibilities as

a priesthood holder

Our leaders constantly invite

us to come with them and the

full-time missionaries so that we

can become familiar with mis-sionary work They also exhort

us to read the scriptures espe-

cially the Book of Mormon All

of these experiences motivate

and prepare me to receive the

higher priesthood and to serve

a full-time mission

Isaac G 17

Learning My

Responsibilities

activities where I have the oppor-

tunity to serve my neighbor as

Jesus taught us to do

A year ago my younger broth-

ers Luis age 15 and Israel age 12

joined the Church Together we

have been working on the projects

in Duty to God and since their

baptisms we have shared wonderful

experiences working together All of

the young men in the ward are very

close and we support each other

I know that baptism is the gateto enter the kingdom of heaven

When we are in the service of

our fellow beings we are in the

service of God (see Mosiah 217)

Missionary work blesses fami-

lies and I know that my life has

changed because of the gospel

Alvaro T 17

How have you shared the gospel through small and simple means

Share your stories by visiting neweraldsorg and clicking ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo or by emailing neweraldschurchorg

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8 N e w E r a

By Thomas E Robinson III

F R O M T H E M I S S I O N F I E L D

One small prompting can

change lives for the better

A M I RAC LE

ATT H E

AI RP O RT

s a new missionary in Japan I

had a hard time understanding

anyone let alone getting to

know them It was difficult

to learn to love people I didnrsquot even

know especially when I couldnrsquot

understand what they were saying

But I made an effort to show mylove for them and I appreciated their

efforts to reach out to me

Each week my companion and I

received a loaf of homemade bread

from a sister in the ward named Sister

Senba She showed her love for the

missionaries by baking homemade

bread and writing small but heartfelt

notes

I was touched that someone caredabout me I felt impressed to show my

gratitude to her in some small way

I wrote her a note expressing how

grateful I was for her and the sacri-

fices she and her family made to help

the missionaries We became friends

and I began to think of her as my

ldquomother away from homerdquo

A

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Months passed Early one

Wednesday morning I received a

call from my mission president

who asked me to transfer down to

Okinawa When I hung up the phone

I was filled with the most bittersweet

feeling I dreaded having to say my

good-byes Each phone call to tell

members of the ward I would be

leaving on the following day made

my heart hurt Saying good-bye to thepeople I had come to love so much

was more difficult than I had imag-

ined it would be

As I finished these calls I noticed

that the only one who had not

answered the phone was Sister Senba

I was sad I would not be able to say

good-bye to a member who had

become so close to my heart

The next morning two other mis-sionaries and I left for the airport

When we arrived at the ticket counter

and tried to buy tickets the work-

ers told us that our cards had been

declined We did not have any money

to pay for the tickets and the flight

was leaving in 10 minutes The three

of us were in a panic We were about

to miss the flight and be stranded at

the airport for the dayBut all of my panic turned to com-

fort when I turned around and saw

Sister Senba walk into the airport

I was shocked that she was there

because she hadnrsquot known what time

our flight was As she scrambled over

to us she smiled and gave us all bread

to bring onto the plane

As we explained to her that we

were going to miss our flight she

became saddened None of us knew

what to do Then Sister Senba began

rummaging through her purse look-

ing for something that could help us

She jumped happily into the air when

she found a small envelope in her

purse in which weeks ago she had

placed yen50000mdashthe exact amount of

money we needed She gave us the

At that moment I felt the Spirit

more strongly than I ever have before

Sister Senbarsquos example taught me how

important it is to follow the prompt-

ings of the Spiritmdashno matter how

small or strange the prompting might

seem Through these promptings we

have the power to change lives for

the better I know it was not a coinci-

dence that she came to the airport It

was a miracle

TRULY THE LORD USES SMALL MEANS TO

BRING ABOUT HIS WORK

money and we were able to get our

tickets in time We thanked her with

every ounce of gratitude our souls

could muster said good-bye and

rushed onto the plane After the plane took off my fellow

missionary turned to me and said

ldquoIsnrsquot she amazing That was

a miraclerdquo

I then realized how truly mirac-

ulous it really was He then said

ldquoWhat does your note sayrdquo I saw he

was reading a note that was with the

bread Sister Senba had given

him As I realized I had onetoo I pulled out the note

and read a small piece of

paper personally addressed

to me which immediately

made my eyes swell with

tears It said ldquoI love you

Please donrsquot forget me I

will never forget yourdquo

Truly the Lord uses small means to

bring about His work How blessed

we are as members of this Church to

have His influence in our lives Let

us all remain worthy to receive thesepromptings and bless the lives of the

children of God NE

Thomas E Robinson III lives in Utah USA

Editorrsquos note Sister Senba was promptly

reimbursed by the mission

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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When I got my first paycheck for my first real job (at a

sandwich shop) I rewarded myself with a shopping

spree I bought some music and a cute outfit After

spending every dollar Irsquod earned I thought about

my purchases

ldquoThere goes two whole weeks of workrdquo I

thought And a sick feeling started to grow inmy stomach

As I thought about all those hours of hard work mak-

ing sandwiches my superficial purchases hardly seemed

worth it I vowed to be more careful with my money

So from then on I saved every penny for college and a pos-

sible mission and never bought anything I wanted ever again

Yeah right

I was still a normal teenager who wanted stylish clothes

good music and fun activities with my friends But coming

from a big family I knew that if I wanted those things I wouldhave to save money to pay for them myself

It might sound impossible but I found ways to be finan-

cially prepared for the future and have fun at the same timemdash

even with a part-time job that didnrsquot pay very much Here are

some tips on how you can increase your ldquomoney smartsrdquo

10 N e w E r a

HOW TO BEMONEY SMART

By Arianne Cope

Y O U W O R K H A R D F O R Y O U R M O N E Y A fewi983149983152le 983152ri983150ci983152les c983137983150 983149983137ke your c983137sh 983143o further

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A BUDGET THAT WORKS

Yoursquove probably been told about budgets

from the day you earned your first nickel or

dime Thatrsquos because it really works A bud-get is a plan that will help you make the best

use of what you earn and save Herersquos one

way you can set up a budget of your own

1 Decide on a time frame for your budget

Most budgets plan for expenses monthly

2 Add up every dollar you plan to make

to figure out your expected income (Or

use last monthrsquos earnings for this monthrsquos

spending so you have an exact amount

available)

3 Calculate how much yoursquoll need to pay

for tithing along with any other offerings

you might want to give

4 Create a list of things you think yoursquoll pur-

chase throughout the month along with

how much theyrsquoll probably cost

5 Separate your needs from your wants

because yoursquoll want to spend your money

on needs first

6 Subtract the total cost of your needs from

your total income

7 Set aside a little money each month for

your wants

8 After paying for tithing and your imme-

diate needs put most of the money thatrsquos

left into savings Look to the future and set

a plan to save for college a mission (par-

ticularly young men) or other big things

Think about how much you need to save

every month to meet the financial goals

you have for those big things in the future

9 Remember that making your budget work

takes solid planning a strong commit-

ment and self-discipline Itrsquos tough but

itrsquos worth it

SHOPPING PRINCIPLES

If yoursquore like most teenagers yoursquore prob-

ably going to want to spend some of your

money at the mall at a store or online So

yoursquoll want to know some basic principles

about shopping before you go

bull Decide what yoursquore planning to buy

before you go shopping Then stick to

your plan and avoid the habit of buying

things on impulse

bull Buy something only if you really love it

Donrsquot let your friends a salesperson or an

advertisement talk you into buying some-

thing yoursquore not going to use often

bull Remember that the word sale doesnrsquot

always mean yoursquore getting a good deal

Look for the best quality at the lowest

price Sometimes that means paying a

little bit more for something that will last a

lot longer

bull Ask yourself if you can live without the

item Remember the old adage ldquoFix it up

wear it out make it do or do withoutrdquo

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 11

T H E B O O K O F M O R M O N

CONCERT

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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SOME FINAL TIPS

Just to finish here are some general

money-related guidelines to keep in mind

bull Keep track of your money and keep it in

a safe place

bull You canrsquot buy happiness but being will-

ing to share usually results in a smile

bull Avoid gambling of any kind

bull Be cautious of things that seem too good

to be truemdashthey usually are

The most important lesson about money

however is to keep in mind that wersquore not

here on earth to get rich or to have a lot of

fancy things Remember these truths from

the Doctrine and Covenants ldquoSeek not for

riches but for wisdom and behold the mys-

teries of God shall be unfolded unto you

and then shall you be made rich Behold he

that hath eternal life is richrdquo (DampC 67) NE

Arianne Cope lives in Utah USA

THE FUN STUFF

Herersquos a little-known fact a half-gallon

of ice cream from the grocery store tastes

almost as good as ice cream from an ice-cream shop Also a fact you can often buy

a half-gallon of ice cream for the same price

yoursquod pay for a single serving at an ice-

cream shop So if you need to save some

money suggest that your friends all split a

half-gallon from the store rather than spend-

ing a lot more at the ice-cream shop

And thatrsquos just one example of simple

money solutions You can be frugal in lots of

ways while still having a great time

bull Watch the newspaper or look online to

find free community or local events

bull If you want to see a movie go to a mati-

nee or a dollar theater for cheaper tickets

bull Plan ahead Make a list of ideas of free

things to do with your friends so you

wonrsquot rely on spending money to enter-

tain yourselves

bull Have fun outdoors without paying much

(if anything) Enjoy a campfire in the

canyon or on the beach or a free Frisbee

game at the parkmdashthey can be just

as much fun as going to a movie or a

concert

12 N e w E r a

FACT YOU CAN OFTEN BUY A HALF-GALLON OF

ICE CREAM FOR THE SAME PRICE YOUrsquoD PAY FOR A

SINGLE SERVING AT AN ICE-CREAM SHOP

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 13

3 Nephi 1815 20ndash21Jesus Christ taught the Nephites the importance of prayer

Editorrsquos note This page is not meant to be a com-

prehensive explanation of the selected seminary

scripture mastery verses only a starting point for

your own study

983148983141983155983156 983161983141 983138983141 983156983141983149983152983156983141983140

This is one of many scriptures

that teach how praying can help

us escape Satanrsquos temptations (see

also DampC 105 3112 and 6139)

Here are some other blessings thescriptures promise when you obey

the command to pray always What

blessings have you received

bull You will be worthy to stand in the

presence of God (see Luke 2136)

bull The Lord will consecrate your

efforts (see 2 Nephi 329)

bull The Spirit will be poured upon

you (see DampC 1938)

bull You will be given strength toendure (see DampC 88126)

bull Things will work out for your

good (see DampC 9024)

983152983154983137983161 983137983148983159983137983161983155

ldquoWe should be alone

with our Heavenly

Father at least two

or three times each

daymdashlsquomorning mid-day and eve-ningrsquo as the scripture indicates (Alma

3421) In addition we are told to

pray always (See 2 Ne 329 DampC

88126) This means that our hearts

should be full drawn out in prayer

unto our Heavenly Father continually

(See Alma 3427)rdquo

President Ezra Taft Benson (1899ndash1994) ldquoPray

Alwaysrdquo Ensign Feb 1990 2

L I N E U P O N L I N E

983159983144983137983156983155983151983141983158983141983154 983161983141 983155983144983137983148983148 983137983155983147

In the scriptures the Lord repeatedly

promises to answer our prayers if we

will but ask What can you learn from

these scriptures about how to ask and

receive answers What other scriptures

can you find that teach about this

bull James 15ndash6

bull 1 Nephi 1511

bull Enos 12ndash15

bull Mormon 921

bull DampC 810

bull DampC 4630ndash32

983159983144983145983139983144 983145983155 983154983145983143983144983156

ldquoHere the Savior

reminds us that faith

no matter how strong

it is cannot produce

a result contrary to the will of him

whose power it is The exercise of

faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is always

subject to the order of heaven to

the goodness and will and wisdom

and timing of the Lord That is why we cannot have true faith in the

Lord without also having complete

trust in the Lordrsquos will and in the

Lordrsquos timingrdquo

Elder Dallin H Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles ldquo lsquoFaith in the Lord Jesus Christrsquo rdquo

Ensign May 1994 100

983137983148983159983137983161983155 983145983150 983149983161 983150983137983149983141

Praying in Christrsquos name means

more than just ending our prayers

in the name of Jesus Christ The

Bible Dictionary teaches ldquoWe pray

in Christrsquos name when our mind isthe mind of Christ and our wishes

the wishes of Christmdashwhen His

words abide in us (John 157) We

then ask for things it is possible for

God to grant Many prayers remain

unanswered because they are not

in Christrsquos name at all they in no

way represent His mind but spring

out of the selfishness of manrsquos

heartrdquo (ldquoPrayerrdquo)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 1652

By ElderJoseacute L Alonso

Of the Seventy

LINKED PRAYERS COUNSELING WITH THE LORD

ldquoThere may be things in our character in our behavior or concerningour spiritual growth about which we need to counsel with HeavenlyFather in morning prayer After expressing appropriate thanks for

blessings received we plead for understanding direction and helpto do the things we cannot do in our own strength alone

ldquoAt the end of our day we kneel again and report back to our Father We reviewthe events of the day and express heartfelt thanks for the blessings and the helpwe received We repent and with the assistance of the Spirit of the Lord identifyways we can do and become better tomorrow Thus our evening prayer buildsupon and is a continuation of our morning prayer And our evening prayer also is apreparation for meaningful morning prayerrdquo

Elder David A Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles ldquoPray Alwaysrdquo Ensign Nov 2008 41ndash42

14 N e w E r a

When I was 15 I went

to live with my father

while I finished high

school He lived and

worked in another city and had joined

the Church I didnrsquot know he was

a member but I saw that he acted

differently He acted with love and

kindness and was interested in myconcerns and needs

The first night I arrived I was

so hungry We sat down for dinner

and I started to eat but my father

said ldquoWait a minute We need to

prayrdquo I said ldquoWe need to what rdquo I

didnrsquot even know what the word

pray meant My father explained

that he was going to thank God our

Heavenly Father for the food we

had received from Him and then

we could eat My father prayed

and in his prayer he mentioned myname and asked for God to bless

me I felt something wonderful That

was the first time I felt the Spirit so

strongly in my life

My father taught me to pray to

Heavenly Father on my own Later

when the missionaries taught me

about Joseph Smithrsquos prayer I imme-

diately felt that it was possible for the

Lord to answer the prayer of a young

man The missionaries asked me to

read the Book of Mormon and to pray

to know if Jesus is the Christ if JosephSmith was a prophet and if the Book

of Mormon is true

That night I read the story in

3 Nephi 11 of when Jesus visits the

Nephites I was in a private place

so I got down on my knees and I

prayed Even though I was only 15 I

had faith that the Lord would answer

my prayer I received an impression

in my mind as clear as anything Ihad ever seen that Jesus is the Christ

Joseph Smith was a prophet and

the Book of Mormon is true I felt

like Joseph Smith after that prayer

I was so happy to truly know that

Heavenly Father answers prayers

from young people

Irsquod Never PRAYED BEFORE

i983150 Th983137t W983137y

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 15

WHAT KEPT ME STRONG

D983137ily P983137yer

As a teenager in an area with-

out a lot of Church members

I found that daily prayer was one

of the most important things that

helped me stay spiritually strong

I made sure to pray every day and

developed a pattern that helped

memdashmorning and evening prayers

When I heard

my father prayfor the rst timel felt something

wonderful

MORNING PRAYERS

Every morning I would share with

the Lord

bull My plans for the day

bull What I wanted to do

bull What I thought the Lord

wanted me to do

I would present my plans to

God and then ask for the Lordrsquos

help in accomplishing them

EVENING PRAYERS

Every evening I would

bull Report on how my day went

and if I had accomplished the

things I had set out to do

bull Share things that had been

difficult for me

bull Share things that I had learned

from people or through the

Spirit that dayThe more I prayed the more

I learned to understand and

receive impressions from the

Holy Ghost These impressions

helped me gain more strength

to follow the direction of the

Lord NE

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 1852

16 N e w E r a

With canteen in hand I was prepared for my

second 50-mile hike and campout in the

Uinta Mountains I was about as well pre-

pared as a 14-year-old could be My equip-

ment was all set to go my boots were sturdy and my pack

was full of all the essentials

The day of the hike arrived and our

leaders reminded our group of young men

that the mountains could be very danger-

ous Hikers and campers were often lost

in the rugged hills and on the numerous

trails We were warned not to wander

away from the path Our leadersmdashmy

father includedmdashall seemed concerned

for our safety and were anxious to keep

us from straying off of our chosen pathBeing one of the stronger hikers and

a leader in the group I soon found myself

and three other boys leading the way

Sometimes we waited for our group at the

forks in the trail to make sure we followed

the correct path and would not become lost

We hiked for hours laughing and joking all the way We

were having a great time Suddenly we heard frantic calls

and the sounds of running We knew something must have

gone wrong We wondered if maybe some of the grouphad become lost I was concerned for the friends Irsquod left

behind with the leaders Something bad must have happened

We stopped to listen so we could hear what the distant

voices were yelling We heard our names More specifically

I heard my name being called I recognized my fatherrsquos

voice We called back and heard their heavy footsteps coming

in our direction

Something bad had happened We learned that

four of the boys in our group had strayed from

the correct path and had become lost It was us

We were the ones who were lost My father was

thankful to have finally found us and together we

began the hike back to the correct trail

In my head I retraced my footsteps I couldnrsquot

figure out how Irsquod become lost I felt like I was

still on the original path Irsquod been so sure We

retraced our steps and my father showed us aturn we had missed It was just a small path with

a little hidden sign marking the correct way

We had hiked two miles off the right trail

We were thankful wersquod been found

before dark For the rest of the hike

we stayed close to our leaders and the rest of the

group and were never in danger again

Sometimes our overconfidence as youth

gives us an unrealistic sense of independence

We push on without consulting our parentsor leaders We fail to ask for advice We feel

By Duncan Anderson

Mile Hike

The

We stoppedto listen so we

could hear whatthe distant voices

were yellingWe heard ournames We

called back andheard their heavyfootsteps comingin our direction

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 17

certain wersquore headed in a direction leading to the right

destination We laugh and joke and enjoy the path until itrsquos

too late too dark and wersquore lost

When it comes to choosing the right trails in life our

Heavenly Father has provided tools to guide us and keep us

on the path that leads to Him We have the scriptures prayer

and revelation our parents guidelines like For the Strength

of Youth and our Church leaders to guide us through the

countless options life offers

When we do stray off the path itrsquos often our loving parents

and dedicated leaders who come to the rescue They can

guide us back to the correct way and show us where we

went wrong Through repentance we can correct those

wrongs and start fresh on the right path headed toward the

destination that will give us eternal happiness and a life in the

presence of our Heavenly Father NE

Duncan Anderson lives in Utah USA

CHOOSING RIGHT PATHS

ldquoI plead with you to make a determi-nation right here right now notto deviate from the path which willlead to our goal eternal life with ourFather in Heaven Along that straight

and true path there are other goals missionaryservice temple marriage Church activity scripturestudy prayer temple work There are countless wor-thy goals to reach as we travel through life Neededis our commitment to reach themrdquo

President Thomas S Monson ldquoThe Three Rs of Choicerdquo

Ensign Nov 2010 68

NEED ADVICE

Is there anything yoursquod like advice on Donrsquot be afraid to ask your

parents or Church leaders Remember they are there to help you

no matter what yoursquod like to talk about

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2052

One of the things we agree

to do as part of the bap-

tismal covenant is ldquoto

stand as witnesses of

God at all times and in all things and in

all places that [we] may be inrdquo (Mosiah

189) And incidentally we renew this

covenant every week when we partake

of the sacramentIn the April 2014 general conference

several speakers reminded us that there

will be times when standing as a witness

of God will mean having to face oppo-

sition criticism and ridicule So what

should you do when yoursquore required

to take the uncomfortable uncool or

unpopular step of defending your beliefs

By David A Edwards

Church Magazines

Be brave and humble firm and gentle

all at the same time With the Lordrsquos

help itrsquos not as hard as it sounds

18 N e w E r a

of Defe983150di983150983143Your Beliefs

Dorsquos 983137983150d

Donrsquots

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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you should rely on the Spiritto guide your defense of your

faith Bear testimony by the

Spirit Thatrsquos the Lordrsquos way

(See also DampC 1005ndash8)

The point here is not that

you should avoid any discus-

sion in which people have dif-

fering points of view Rather it

has to do with your intent as

well as the emotions involved

We should seek understand-

ing and try to persuade withmeekess not just score points

and prove wersquore right and

someone else is wrong A

discussion where people are

getting really worked up and

angry is one you should either

try to soften or simply avoid

Heavenly Father has given

you the gift of the Holy Ghost

and you should take advan-

tage of this gift This doesnrsquot

mean reason and logic canrsquot

be inspired or confirmed by

the Spirit it just means that

Elder W Craig Zwick of

the Seventy has explained

this scripture this way ldquoA lsquosoft

answerrsquo consists of a reasoned

responsemdashdisciplined words

from a humble heart It does

not mean we never speak

directly or that we compro-

mise doctrinal truth Words

that may be firm in infor-

mation can be soft in spiritrdquo

(ldquoWhat Are You Thinkingrdquo

Ensign May 2014 42)

ldquoA SOFT ANSWER TURNETH AWAY

wr983137thBUT

GRIEVOUS WORDS stir u983152 983137983150983143errdquo

(Proverbs 151)

ldquoBeholdI send you forthas sheep in the

midst of wolves be ye therefore wise as serpents

and h983137r983149less as dovesrdquo

(Matthew 1016)

The Savior doesnrsquot want

you to be ignorant or naiumlve

but He also doesnrsquot want you

to attack anyone Knowing

what goes on in the world

doesnrsquot mean we have to

use its tactics

ldquoCONTEND AGAINST

NO CHURCHrdquo (DampC 1820)

There is no need to

criticize other churches

Positive statements of your

beliefs rather than negative

statements about others will

be most effective As the

Prophet Joseph Smith said

ldquoWe donrsquot ask any people

to throw away any good

they have got we only ask

them to come and get morerdquo

(Teachings of Presidents

of the Church Joseph

Smith [2007] 155)

ldquoAND THOUSHALT DECLARE

983143l983137d tidi983150983143s ldquoAND THOU SHALTDO IT WITH 983137ll hu983149ilityTRUSTING IN ME 983154evili983150983143 983150ot

AGAINST REVILERSrdquo

(DampC 1929ndash30)

The tidings you declare

are glad Remember that

and make sure your face and

your voice show it too Also

the word revile here means

to hurl abusive or insulting

language at a person So if

ldquoFOR I AM

NOT ASHAMED

OF THE GOSPEL OF CHRISTrdquo

(Romans 116)

As President Thomas S

Monson has said ldquoWe will all

face fear experience ridiculeand meet opposition Let

usmdashall of usmdashhave the courage

to defy the consensus the

courage to stand for prin-

ciple Courage not com-

promise brings the smile of

Godrsquos approvalrdquo (ldquoBe Strong

and of a Good Couragerdquo

Ensign May 2014 69)

The scriptures give you some basic principles for standing up for your faith including the following

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 19

ldquoWe s983152e983137k

NOT IN THE WORDS which 983149983137983150rsquos

WISDOM TEACH ETH

but which THE HOLY GHOST

TEACHETHrdquo

(1 Corinthians 213)

ldquoHE THATHATH THE

SPIRIT OF CONTENTIONIS NOT OF ME

BUT ISOF THE DEVIL

WHO IS THE FATHER OFCONTENTION AND

HE STIRRETH UPTHE HEARTS

OF MEN

TO CONTEND WITH ANGER

ONE WITH ANOTHERrdquo(3 Nephi 1129)

HERErsquoS SOME ADVICE FROM THE SCRIPTURES

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2252

How Do You Defend Do you have experi-ence in defending yourbeliefs Or do you haveideas to add to theselists Go to ldsorggodefendNE8 and share

Finding Courage

Read more on this topic atldsorggocourageNE8

someonersquos doing that to you

donrsquot retaliate and do the

same thing back to them The

Apostle Peter taught that the

Savior Himself gave the exam-

ple you should follow in thisregard (see 1 Peter 223)

ldquoLOVE YOUR ENEMIESbless them

that curse you

DO GOOD TO T HEMTHAT HATE YOU

and pray for

them which

DESPITEFULLY USE YOUAND PERSECUTE YOUrdquo

(Matthew 544)ldquoSEE THAT YE ARE NOT lifted u983152 u983150to

983152ride ye983137 SEE THAT YE DO

NOT BOAST IN YOUR

OWN WISDOM

983150or of your 983149uch stre983150983143thldquoUSE BOLDNESS

BUT NOT

OVERBEARANCErdquo (Alma 3811ndash12)

Here the word tenets

refers to opinions or teachings

that go beyond the basics So

the Lord is saying to stick to

the basic message of the gos-

pel when yoursquore declaring Hisglad tidings This also applies

to defending your faith

You donrsquot need to stray into

detailed discussions about

every little thing related to the

Church As Elder Richard G

Scott of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles has said

ldquoKeep your sharing of the

gospel simple rdquo (ldquo lsquoI HaveGiven You an Examplerdquo

Ensign May 2014 34)

ldquoEveryone independent

of his or her decisions and

beliefs deserves our kind-

ness and considerationrdquo said

Elder Neil L Andersen of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles ldquoThe Savior

taught us to love not only

our friends but also those

who disagree with usmdashand

even those who repudiate

usrdquo (ldquoSpiritual Whirlwindsrdquo

Ensign May 2014 20)

Again be humble Itrsquos not

about you or how smart and

capable you are Also you can

be bold without making over-

blown statements or being

a verbal or intellectual bully

As Elder Jeffrey R Holland

of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoYou willone day find yourself called

upon to defend your faith

Such moments will require

both courage and courtesy

on your partrdquo (ldquoThe Costmdashand

Blessingsmdashof Discipleshiprdquo

Ensign May 2014 6)

ldquoA983150d of te983150ets thou sh983137lt 983150ot t983137lk but thou shalt

declare repentance andfaith on the Savior and 983154e983149issio983150 of si983150sby baptism and by fire

yea even the Holy Ghostrdquo(DampC 1931)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2352

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2452

22 N e w E r a

I received my first two-wheel bicycle

when I was eight years old With

the help of my older brother and

father I began the rather scary pro-

cess of figuring out how to ride it The other kids in the neighborhood

made it look so easy and natural as

they zoomed up and down the street

on their bikes I perched on the bike

seatmdashwhich seemed to be at least

10 feet (3 m) above the groundmdashand

realized there was absolutely noth-

ing to keep me from falling over and

proving that the law of gravity was

alive and well As I tried riding I learned quickly

that if I wanted to stay balanced I had

to keep pedaling When I first sat on

the seat speed was the last thing I

wanted to add to the already daunting

equation But I very soon understood

the wisdom and the physics involved

in moving forward As long as I kept

pedaling I could stay upright and

avoid the rough concrete just waiting

to take the skin off my arms and legs

Soon I was zipping around the neigh-

borhood with my friends

Defy Gr983137vity Defy Gr983137vity

of the First Presidency as outlined

in that booklet our lives will be bal-

anced and steady We will be led

where we want to go

We need to keep moving forwardto avoid falling To do that we should

consistently and faithfully do certain

actions

bull Pray morning and night

bull Study the scriptures daily

bull Attend Church meetings and par-

take of the sacrament worthily

bull Serve those around us

bull Be worthy to attend the temple

All of these actions keep us moving

forward in the right direction

Thatrsquos why reading and being famil-

iar with the standards described in For

the Strength of Youth will help ensure

we are making choices consistent with

Godrsquos standards Living these princi-

ples and keeping the commandments

F O R T H E S T R E N G T H O F Y O U T H

By Bonnie LOscarson

Young WomenGeneral President

As you keep moving forward you can stay upright even

when outside forces try to pull you down

Just as those who keep

pedaling a bike can stay

upright despite gravityrsquos

influence those who are

guided by the Holy Spirit in

all they do can withstand

the influence of theadversary

So it is with living the gospel and

the standards in For the Strength of

Youth It takes faith to believe that if

we consistently follow the counsel

GO FORWARD WITH FAITH

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 23

invite the Holy Ghost to be our con-

stant companion Just as those who

keep pedaling a bike can stay upright

despite gravityrsquos influence those who

are guided by the Holy Spirit in allthey do can withstand the influence of

the adversary

What are the destinations you have

in mind as you pedal forward For all

young men of the Aaronic Priesthood

preparing now for a full-time mission

is important in forward growth For

all youth being prepared to go to the

temple and receive the endowment by

making and keeping sacred covenantsshould also be a primary goal

As the message from the First

Presidency at the beginning of For the

Strength of Youth says ldquoIn all that you

do stay focused on the temple In the

temple you will receive the greatest

of all the Lordrsquos blessings including

marriage for time and all eternityrdquo1

Receiving the covenant of eternal

marriage in the house of the Lord and

becoming righteous husbands wives

fathers and mothers may seem far

down the road but the time to beginpreparing is now All of these things

lead to the most glorious and grand

destination of allmdasheternal life with

our Heavenly Father

One of my favorite scriptures

sums up what we need to do in order

to keep moving toward our goals

ldquoWherefore ye must press forward

with a steadfastness in Christ hav-

ing a perfect brightness of hopeand a love of God and of all men

Wherefore if ye shall press forward

feasting upon the word of Christ and

endure to the end behold thus saith

the Father Ye shall have eternal liferdquo

(2 Nephi 3120)

Just as I learned as an eight-year-

old girl that I needed to keep pedaling

and moving forward in order to defy

gravity and keep my balance on my

bicycle it is important for all of us to

keep moving forward with faith trust-

ing in the counsel of living prophetsand a loving Heavenly Father to keep

us from falling Some of our destina-

tions are just down the road while

others will take a lifetime of faithful

living to achieve The promises of

what lies at the end of the road if we

are faithful are certain and glorious

and well worth the ride NE

NOTE

1 For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

Learn MoreSee whatrsquos next in your covenant path

at ldsorggocovenantNE8

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2652

24 N e w E r a

BOA R D

GA M E S

B y Da vid Chris tensen

My chance to play le f t

a lasting impact but it

wasnrsquot what Irsquod e xpected

L o s i n

g s o

q u i c k

l y w

a s b

a d e

n o u

g h

b

u t t o

m a k

e m

a t t e r s

w o r s e

t h

e o t h

e r g

u y

s s t a r t e

d t o

m a k

e

f u n

o f

m e

I

t r i e d

t o c o

n t i n

u e

p l a y i n g

e v e

n t h

o u

g h

t h e y

w e r

e b

e i n

g m

e a n

b

u t i t

w a s h

a r d t o h o

l d b

a c k m y t e

a r s

o f f r u s t

r a t i o n

U

n f o

r t u n a t e l y

o n e t e

a r t r i c k l e

d d

o w

n m y

c h e e

k b

e f o

r e I

c o u

l d w i p

e i t

a w a y M

y b

r o t h

e r

s a w i t

a n d

t e a s e

d m

e t o

o

I c o

u l d

n rsquo t

t a k e i t

a n y

m o r e

a n d

r a n t o

m y

r o o m

I g a v e m y s e l

f a q u i c k p i n

c h

t o m a k e s u r

e I w a s n rsquo

t d r e a m i n g

a n d t h e

n I v o i c e d

a t i m i d ldquo Y e

a h

s u r e rdquo I s t

i l l c o u l d

n rsquo t b e l i e

v e t h a t

m y b r o t h e

r h a d i n v

i t e d m e t o

p l a y a g a m e w i t h

t h e ldquo b i g k i

d s rdquo

A f t e r a l l

I rsquo d b e e n t o l d f o r t h

r e e

y e a r s t h a

t I w a s s t i l l

t o o y o u

n g

t o p l a y m o r e d i f fi

c u l t b o a

r d

g a m e s w i t h m y b r o

t h e r a n d

h i s f r i e n d s

A N D B R O

T H

E R S

I

felt the hot tears of anger slowly slide

down my face I wiped them away with

my hand but I could still feel the

slightly salty taste on my lips assobs of anguish began to pour out

I just wanted to hang out with my

brother Why couldnrsquot he be my

friend too

J u s t a f e w

h o u r s

b e f o

r e I h a d

s t a r e d a t

m y o

l d e r b

r o t h

e r S t e v e

i n c o

m p

l e t e s u r p

r i s e

w a i t i n

g f o r h

i m t o

t e

l l

m e t h

a t h e w

a s o n

l y

j o k i n g ldquo W

e l l d o y o

u

w a n

t t o p

l a y rdquo S t e v e

a s k e d i m p

a

t i e n t l y

I w

e n t i n t o t h e

r o o m w h

e r e t h e

o l d e r b o y s

w e r e

s e t t i n g u p

t h e b o a r d

g a m e A s t h e

g a m e s t a r t e d

w i t h

e v e r y o n e s t r a t e g i c a l l y

p l a c i n g

t h e i r g a m

e

p i e c e s

I f e l t l i k e

I w

a s d r e a

m i n g F o r

t h e fi r s t t i m

e

I f e l t e q u a l t o

m y b r o t h e r mdash

n o t l i k e I

w a s j u s t h i s

t a g a l o n g

T h e d r e a m

e n d e d q u i c k

l y h o w e v e r

T h e

g a m e w

a s t o u g h

a n d m y i n

e x p e r i e n c e

a n d l a c k

o f k n o w l e d g e

b e c

a m e

p a i n f u l l y o b v i o u s

a s t h e o t

h e r

p l a y e r s q u i c k l y

a n d

s o u n d l y d e f e a t e d

m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2852

26 N e w E r a

Le983137r983150i983150983143 the i983150s 983137983150d outs of d983137ti983150983143 c983137983150 be h983137rd Let this course tur983150 you

i983150to 983137 d983137ti983150983143 983152ro

By Matthew ORichardson

Served as Second

Counselor in theSunday SchoolGeneral Presidencyfrom 2009 to 2014

hile speaking to youth about how to prepare for a celestial marriage

President Thomas S Monson emphasized that ldquoproper dating is a part

of preparation for marriagerdquo 1 Have you thought much about happy

relationships Elder Russell M Nelson of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said a ldquocelestial marriage brings greater possibilities for happiness than

does any other relationshiprdquo2

When I was serving as bishop in a young single adult ward I worried about those

who approached dating with very little purpose understanding or direction This

caused me to wonder if my own children would be any different when their time came

My wife and I decided to help our children prepare for ldquoproper datingrdquo and happy rela-tionships by creating the Richardson Dating Academy or RDA as our children call it

It wasnrsquot long after we started the RDA that friends of our children wanted to partici-

pate and even become RDA graduates So how about you Are you ready to become a

dating academy graduate yourself Class is in session

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 27

Lesso983150 1 ur983152oses 983137983150d St983137983150d983137rds of D983137ti983150983143

Lesso983150 2 W983137tch 983137983150d Le983137r983150

Homework

As you know ldquodatingrdquo means different things to differ-

ent people Your first assignment is to figure out just what

a ldquodaterdquo is according to Church standards Can you explain

the purposes of dating and the specific dating standards and

guidelines set by the Church Or do you know when itrsquosmost appropriate to be involved in dating and steady dating

(having a boyfriend or girlfriend)

You can find answers to these questions in the ldquoDatingrdquo

section of For the Strength of Youth The First Presidency

reminds us why knowing and understanding these stan-

dards are so important They promise ldquoThe standards in this

Elder Jeffrey R Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles once explained that most athletic contests have ldquolines

drawn on the floor or the field within which every participant

must stay in order to competerdquo3 Success depends on how

well a competitor knows and stays within the set boundaries

Likewise itrsquos important to know the ldquodating linesrdquo or the pur-

poses and standards of dating as taught by Church leaders

One of the most com-

mon ways people learn

is by watching others

Dating is no different

In the dating academy

we spend time observ-

ing others in dating

situations In our family

we learned many point-ersmdashsome to do others

to avoidmdashby watching

dates in progress at

restaurants and other

settings Yes we went to

certain places with the

sole purpose to observe

dates for ldquoclassrdquo

booklet will help you with the important choices you are

making now and will yet make in the futurerdquo4

Now that you have a solid foundation of the stan-

dards and purposes of dating (you did do your home-

work and read that section didnrsquot you) itrsquos time to move

on to lesson 2

Tips

Here are some suggestions that will help you learn

as you observe

bull Watch but donrsquot be creepy This is about learning from

others but not stalking staring or even judging Look for

things you like and things you would like to avoid

bull Go to a variety of places and settings to observe others

Not every date is the same nor should it be Watch how thesetting affects the experience

bull Watch how people interact with each other Can you tell

who is with whom Are they paying attention to each

other In what ways Are they talking with each other Do

they look like they enjoy being with each other How can

you tell if they are having fun

bull Talk with a parent leader or good friends and share what

you noticed and what you learned

Homework

The next time you go

out to eat attend a movie

or go to almost any activ-

ity make an effort to look

around and see how other

people are interacting It

may surprise you to see

how much dating is actu-ally going on Take the

time to learn from those

around you by paying

attention to whatrsquos work-

ing and what isnrsquot

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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28 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 3 l983137983150983150i983150983143 983137 D983137te

Tips

bull Start planning early

bull Donrsquot be afraid to bounce ideas off your friendsparents and others They can provide excellent

suggestions that you havenrsquot even thought about

bull Make sure you let your budget amount of time

available the reasons for dating and Church stan-

dards guide your planning

bull Think of what you hope will happen during the

date from beginning to end This helps you realize

what needs to be done to make the date a success

bull Pay attention to details Call ahead for event times

prices menus and what the proper dress is for

the occasion

bull Plan for emergencies For example what will you

do if you donrsquot have enough money or have car

trouble What if your date gets sick

Homework

Rather than leaving everything to chance dating acad-

emy grads understand what needs to happen and theyplan accordingly

Your homework assignment even if yoursquore years away

from dating is to practice planning an event You can

brainstorm with friends really fun ideas for a date Then

work together to think of what planning is required to

make those ideas actually happen Or you can ask your

parents to let you plan the next family outing

You might choose a place to eat or what to do Plan all

the details (event times travel time cost backup plans)

and then put your plan into action You could evencome up with a dating plan complete with backup ideas

if something goes wrong and share it in family home

evening while talking together around the dinner table

or with friends You may find that properly planning an

activity is almost as much fun as the actual date

The quality of experience yoursquoll have with others is

often determined by what happens before a date begins

Showing up on your datersquos doorstep with no plan is a

recipe for an awkward experience Nobody likes playing

the ldquoWhat do you want to dordquo game

Yoursquore better than that With a little practice you can

become a date-planning champion And young women

no fair skipping this section While most of the time young

men plan and ask for dates yoursquoll still want to have these

skills down for when itrsquos your turn

Group Date IdeasNeed ideas Check out ldsorggoideasNE8 Some

of the youth activities there could be adapted for dates

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Homework

In the Richardson Dating Academy all of our

children practiced dating invitations For example

our children might call an aunt older sibling or other

family member to practice inviting someone on a

date Or our son or daughter would receive an invita-

tion from a family member and practice responding

They learned how to deal with rejection acceptance

or even a disinterested response or two

Now itrsquos your turn Working with your parents ask

them to line up somebody in your family you can call

and practice inviting on a date Make sure you do this

more than once

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 29

You know your dating standards front and back

yoursquove watched others in dating situations and

yoursquove come up with a solid date plan

Congratulations Now you still need to invite

someone Or you need to know how to respond

when you are invited So whatrsquos the best way A

phone call Ask in person Here are some different

points to consider

Lesso983150 4 I983150viti983150983143 Others 983137983150d Bei983150983143 I983150vited

Tips

bull Be ready to give details when you invite

someone on a date Talk about what you have

planned start and end times whorsquos participat-ing and how they should dress (casual dressy

etc) Your excellent planning from academy

lesson 3 makes this part of the academy easy

bull Therersquos a time to talk by phone and a time to

ask face-to-face The more important the event

is the more personal the invitation should be

Donrsquot be afraid to skip technology and actually

talk with someone

bull Some events may require you to speak with

your datersquos parents first This shows respectand courtesy

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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30 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 5 O983150 the D983137te

It would be impossible for any dating academy to cover

every little thing to consider or plan for in dating So much

depends on good judgment communication with your par-

ents and listening to the Spirit

Still here are a few key points you might want to brush

up on before putting your date plan into action

Tips

bull Develop a ldquoyou firstrdquo attitude This means you always

think of your date first Is he or she having fun Is he or

she comfortable

bull Make sure you dress appropriately for the occasion

The way you dress usually communicates how you feelabout others and about the event Know the difference

between casual (but never sloppy) semiformal and

formal and when it would be appropriate to dress in

those ways

bull Show common courtesy by opening doors saying

thank you talking less about yourself and more about

your date and extending sincere compliments

bull Learn how to navigate restaurants Know how to make

a reservation get a table calculate a service tip and

pay the bill

Homework

Once again the best way to learn any good skill is by practic-

ing it Our youth enjoyed role-playing different situations

to think about how to act most appropriately We

also loved going out to eat as part of the dating acad-

emy experience Our children learned how to act in

a restaurant order a meal calculate the tip and paythe bill by actually doing it when they were with us

Look for opportunities to practice skills you should use on a

date For example the next time you and your family go some-

where ask your parents to let you purchase the tickets order

the meal or calculate the tip Treat your family or friends with

the same respect and courtesy that you should show others on a

date Open doors for your family be the first to say ldquothank yourdquo

and pay attention so you are part of the conversation

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 31

Lesso983150 6 The Doorste983152

NOTES

1 Thomas S Monson ldquoPreparation BringsBlessingsrdquo Ensign May 2010 64

2 Russell M Nelson ldquoCelestial Marriagerdquo Ensign Nov 2008 93

3 Jeffrey R Holland ldquoWe Are All Enlistedrdquo Ensign Nov 2011 45

4 ldquoMessage to the Youth from The First Presi-dencyrdquo For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

5 John Bytheway ldquoWhat Do Kisses Meanrdquo New Era Oct 2004 38ndash41

Last but not least dating

academy graduates know how

to conclude a date on the right

note Nothing sours a great date

more than a bad ending

Herersquos how you can finish a

date with success

Tips

bull Express gratitude Be sincere

and to the point If there was something you especially

liked tell your date what

it was

bull Therersquos no reason for drag-

ging things on at this point

Yoursquove already spent plenty

of time together Avoid the

ldquodoorstep shufflerdquo When

people arenrsquot sure what to

say they tend to shuffle backand forth or move their feet

in place If you find yourself

ldquoshufflingrdquo in place itrsquos a

pretty good signal that you

need to say good-bye

bull Know and follow the

Churchrsquos counsel on kissing

and physical intimacy (You

might also want to read John

Bythewayrsquos article ldquoWhat Do

Kisses Meanrdquo5 at ldsorggo

kissesNE8)

Homework

Yes herersquos another opportunity for practicing Our family has spent several family

home evenings role-playing doorstep good-byes Itrsquos been both helpful and fun to

watch an older sibling coach the younger sibling with dorsquos and donrsquots

Most memorable was an older sister showing how she could turn a hug into a

handshake with the grace of a princess and the speed of a ninja You too can get

together with family members and role-play different scenarios that might happen on

a doorstep We guarantee itrsquoll be an academy night yoursquoll all remember

Gr983137du983137tio983150

If yoursquove studied all the

material worked on the tips done

the homework and talked through

the lessons with your parents and

family you too can become a

dating academy graduate

As you continue strengthening

these important skills yoursquoll find

support strength and power that

will bless your relationships both

now and in the future You will be

better prepared for happiness NE

Do Try This at HomeInterested in having a dating academy at

home Let your parents know therersquos an RDAarticle for them in this monthrsquos Ensign or atldsorggoRDA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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32 N e w E r a

S U N DA Y L E S S

O N S

This Monthrsquos Topic

Ma r r iage a nd

Fa m i l y

MARRIAGE IS WORTH ITldquoIt is so rewarding to bemarried Marriage is wonder-ful In time you begin to thinkalike and have the same ideasand impressions You havetimes when you are extremelyhappy times of testing andtimes of trial but the Lordguides you through all ofthose growth experiencestogetherrdquo

Elder Richard G Scott of the

Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo

Ensign May 2011 96

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 33

We love being marr ied and he

rersquos why

By Ben and Rachel Nielsen

Letrsquos face it girls (and boys) itrsquos nice to know that someone loves you

And when yoursquore married you have chances to share and receive love every

day When I was talking to my parents about the possibility of marrying

Ben my dad said ldquoWhomever you choose to marry I want him to fre-

quently and sincerely express his love for you like Elder Richard G Scott did

for his wiferdquo3 I listened to Dad

I decided to marry Ben and he has always made an effort to express

his love to me in small and big ways During my senior year of college I

worked for months to prepare apply and interview for a prestigious intern-ship And when I finally heard that I got the job I came home and saw a

vase full of flowers from my husband He knew how hard I had worked and

how much the internship meant to me At other times hersquoll hide my favorite

drink and a love note in the fridge before he heads out for a weekend Scout

camp And every day hersquoll do the dishes and make me laugh Ben is great at

expressing his love for me and that brings both of us great joy

During my mission in Brazil I grew to love soccer One thing that I lovemost about this sport is having teammates and learning how to work together

with my team Rachel is a fantastic teammate She helps me achieve my

goals joins me in making important decisions and is there for me when I

have trouble

When we were sealed in the temple we promised to ldquohelp one another as

equal partnersrdquo2 Rachel and I strive to support each other in everything we

do and itrsquos great to know that I always have a reliable teammate

After our first date we both

knew we wanted to go

on a second date Ben

wanted to go on

another date because Rachel was

friendly and fun to talk to Rachel

wanted to go on another date

because Ben was a gentleman

and was still smiling after all of

his well-laid plans fell through

After the second date plus manymore dates and prayers after

that we fell in love and decided

to get married in the Sacramento

California Temple

The wedding day was abso-

lutely perfect and we have loved

being married ever since The

world may see marriage differ-

ently but we know that ldquono other

relationship of any kind canbring as much joy generate as

much good or produce as much

personal refinementrdquo1 Marriage

is awesome and herersquos why

FROM BEN A T e a m m a t e

FROM RACHEL

E x p r e s s i o n s o f L o v e

WHY MARRIAGE IS

A w e s o m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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34 N e w E r a

JOIN THE CONVERSATION

Things to Ponder for Sunday

bull What qualities and attitudes make for the strongest

and happiest marriages and families

bull What are you doing now that will help your future

marriage and family stay strong and happy

Things You Might Do

bull Share with some friends your goal of marrying and

having a family and tell them why

bull In church share why you are looking forward

to marriage and family and how you are pre-

paring for them

serving in the Church and inviting others to come unto

Christ As we work together to build the kingdom of God

we grow closer our love deepens and life is more fulfilling

Dating Rachel is so much fun In fact we make surethat we still frequently go on dates even as a married

couple After we first met we found that we enjoy many

of the same activities walking through parks attending

plays watching sporting events eating new and different

food listening to music and so much more I loved doing

these things before I met Rachel but theyrsquore even more

fun now that we get to share them together When yoursquore

married you have someone to enjoy life withmdashand that

makes life awesome

Before I met Ben I was nearing the age of missionary

service and had seriously considered serving a full-time

mission But then Ben entered my life and I knew that

Heavenly Father had a different plan for me

When Ben and I got engaged relatives who knew

about my thoughts to serve a mission asked me about my

choice and I would tell them ldquoI decided that I wanted topick my own missionary companionmdashand stay with him

for eternityrdquo

When yoursquore married you and your spouse have the

chance to participate in the work of salvation together

Ben and I have found great joy in building a Christ-

centered home studying and living the gospel together

Despite what the world may say marriage is awesome

and is worth making a priority When yoursquore married you

have a teammate you give and receive love you enjoy life

more fully and you have someone to build the kingdom

of God with All of that brings us great joy and because

we were sealed in the temple we can have this joy forever

If we keep our covenants we will be together for eternityand receive the crowning blessings of the priesthood We

ldquohave found in marriage the richest fulfillment of human

existencerdquo 4 NE

Ben and Rachel Nielsen live in Utah USA

NOTES

1 L Whitney Clayton ldquoMarriage Watch and Learnrdquo Ensign May 2013 83 2 ldquoThe Family A Proclamation to the Worldrdquo Ensign Nov 2010 129 3 See Richard G Scott ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo Ensign May

2011 96 4 James E Faust ldquoEnriching Your Marriagerdquo Ensign Apr 2007 6

FROM BEN M o r e E n jo y m e n t

FROM RACHEL A n E t e r n a l M is s i o n a r y C o m p a n io n

TAKE IT FROM US

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Your family can help unite the family of GodYou can all share the gospel in natural and pleasant ways

P H O T O I L L U S T R A T I O N B Y D A V I D S T O K E R

M O R M O N A D

(See M Russell Ballard ldquoPut Your Trust in the Lordrdquo Ensign Nov 2013 43)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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36 N e w E r a

By Alex Larsen

I always knew I wanted to be a mother but when I was grow-

ing up it wasnrsquot always on my mind When my fianceacute and I

were engaged one day I was talking with one of my college

professorsmdasha woman I greatly admiredmdashabout my engage-

ment She said something that brought my life choices into sharp

focus ldquoYou are wasting your talentrdquo she told me as she shook

her head She went on to say that someone as smart as I was

should not get married young She assumed I would have chil-

dren in my future and would be ldquothrowing awayrdquo my education

and chances of a stellar career on my future motherhood I could

tell by the way she looked at me that she thought I was making

a terrible and naiumlve mistake

Itrsquos been several years since that conversation and my hus-

band and I have two little girls Kate is three years old and is

my little sweetheart She moves through life at a leisurely pace

savoring all of the little details she notices Annabel is one yearold with bright blue eyes and a head of curls Shersquos exuberant

and determined Though I didnrsquot change my mind because of

what my professor said our discussion has stayed with me In

one way my professorrsquos predictions were correct I do not have

a prestigious working career But my professor got the most

important point wrong because I have wasted nothing

g i v i n

g u p e v e r y

t hi n g

but wh a t

I

g a i n ed

w as w o r t h so much m o r e

T h e wor l d t o l d me

I w ould

b e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 37

their spirits growing and developing I remember

the first time Kate pointed to a picture of the Savior and

said ldquoJesusrdquo I knew then that what I was doing was eter-

nally significant in the lives of my children

The world often tells us that lifersquos rewards come in

the form of status money or grand accomplishments

but I know therersquos great satisfaction even in the small

acts of changing diapers or wiping sticky fingers Every

little thing I do as a mother is part of helping to build the

kingdom of God by nurturing His children I always knew

I wanted children but it was not until I held my first baby

in my arms that I began to realize how much my heart

was capable of loving

The love I have for my daughters has helped me bet-

ter understand how much my Heavenly Father loves all

of His children When speaking of little children Jesustaught that ldquoof such is the kingdom of heavenrdquo (Matthew

1914) More than anything motherhood has helped me

to grow as a daughter of God because now I know what

a daughter of God looks like from the eyes of a parent

The world makes us think that a woman loses herself in

motherhoodmdashshe loses her body her free time and her

career But I have found myself in motherhood I feel

more beautiful and more valuable than ever before NE

Alex Larsen lives in California USA

I love the opportunity to stay home and care for my

young children because these are the most formative

years of their lives I have the opportunity to create a rich

home environment for my girls by reading and discussing

things with them as part of our everyday life Kate will

often astound me by remembering and commenting on

something wersquod read in a book several weeks before and

Annabel learns a new skill almost every day But as fun

and important as it is to watch them learn new

information and skills I feel the

most satisfied when I see

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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38 N e w E r a

One o f t h e g r e a t e s t ad v enture s o f y o u r l i f e w i l l b e y our rol e a n d c a l l i n g a s a f a t her

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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ROcksROcksROcks

NOTE

1 See Thomas S Monson ldquoWelcome to Conferencerdquo Ensign Nov 2012 4ndash5

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 39

DA D D A DD AD

By Chris Deaver

W

hen I was younger I loved spending time

with my dad He always knew the bestgames to play the best stories to tell at night

and the most interesting sports to try It was

like he was born to be a great dad

Fast-forward my life to when I married my sweetheart

Julia and then even further to the moment that our first

child Daniel was born I was filled with a rush of emo-

tions I was happy shocked amazed and a little scared

I felt totally inadequate to be a father and to have the

responsibility of teaching and being an example to my son

But I quickly realized that Irsquod been preparing all my life tobe a dad When I held my son in my arms for the first time

and looked down into his face I felt the Spirit touch my

heart and I realized that I was ready to try to be a great

dad just like my own dad was to me

When Daniel was very young he already had a great

sense of humor He learned to tell hilarious jokes that

would make my wife and me laugh He also often said

things that inspired us Shortly after hearing President

Thomas S Monson announce the change in age require-

ments for young men and young women preparingto serve missions1 we were driving in the car Daniel

announced that he would start preparing himself right

then at age six so he would have 12 years of preparation

Then he said with a smile ldquoDad can I change the song

from lsquoI Hope They Call Me on a Missionrsquo to lsquoI AM Going on

a Missionrsquordquo It was awesome

WHYbeing a

Three years after Daniel was born he was followed by his

brother Austin For me as a dad itrsquos been great to watch bothboys become best friends And Austin has been just as fun

as Daniel in his own way He enjoys building and destroying

block towers and one of his favorite activities is to fearlessly

wrestle me as if I stand no chance against his four-year-old

powers Of course I give in and let him winmdashso I guess I

reinforce his belief But itrsquos so much fun I know hersquoll be a

great wrestler but what I want most is for him to wrestle

ldquoagainst the rulers of the darkness of this worldrdquo and ldquoagainst

spiritual wickednessrdquo like it says in the scriptures (Ephesians

612) And I hope Irsquom helping to prepare him to do that We just recently had our third child a baby girl named

Faith During the delivery my wife was having some com-

plications and we were scared for our baby I gave Julia

a blessing Then she asked me to sing to her The Spirit

brought peace to both of us Soon baby Faith came safely

into the world It was a miracle and she definitely lived up

to her name Faithrsquos beautiful smile brightens my life I canrsquot

express in words how much she means to me

For any young man still wondering let me tell you You

were born to be a great dad The world may not agree butfatherhood is the best Someday yoursquoll find that your kids

inspire you too and that being a dad is the greatest adven-

ture of your life Yes itrsquos a duty and something you need to

take seriously but being a dad is unlike anything else NE

Chris Deaver lives in Florida USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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40 N e w E r a

We always seem to be encouraged to read more

because well everyone knows that reading is a

good thing But not all books are worth reading and just

because sexual material is written about rather than pho-

tographed or video recorded doesnrsquot mean that itrsquos less

morally hazardous Making a common display of a sacred

intimacy thatrsquos intended to only be part of a marriage rela-

tionship is wrongmdashwhether in words or imagesIf something yoursquore reading contains explicit sexual

descriptions that imprint themselves on your mind and

arouse sexual feelings in the same way that looking at

pornographic images would then guess what Itrsquos pornog-

raphy Remember the counsel in For the Strength of Youth

ldquoChoose wisely when using media because whatever you

read listen to or look at has an effect on you Select only

media that uplifts yourdquo ([2011] 11) NE

T O T H E P O I N T

President Boyd K

Packer President of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoEach

of us must come to ourown personal testimony

of the Lord Jesus Christ

We then share that testi-

mony with our family and

othersrdquo1 It can sometimes

be easy to question the

depth of your testimony

I know looking at pornographic

pictures is wrong but whatabout reading books with

ldquoromanticrdquo scenes

If I donrsquot have a burning

desire to share thegospel does that mean I

donrsquot have a testimony

when you compare your-

self to people like Brigham

Young who once said ldquoI

wanted to thunder and

roar out the gospel to thenations It burned in my

bones like fire pent uprdquo2

So what if you donrsquot feel

fire in your bones

Hopefully your lack of

desire doesnrsquot come from

a lack of concern for your

fellowmen As your faith in

Jesus Christ grows so does

your love of all people a

love that is a mark of the

true followers of Christ (see

Moroni 748 John 1335)

Itrsquos likely however

that your hesitancy sim-

ply comes from fear and

anxiety about speaking toothers For many people

such feelings can be over-

whelming Even prophets

have had doubts about their

ability to speak to people

(see Exodus 410 Moses

631) They of course

had no reason to question

their testimoniesmdashand

neither should you if you

are studying the scriptures

pondering praying fasting

repenting and doing all the

other things that help bring

the Spirit into your life

If you feel you just

need a little extra cour-age to share the gos-

pel visit ldsorggo

shareNE8 for ideas NE

NOTES

1 Boyd K Packer ldquoThe Witnessrdquo Ensign May 2014 96

2 Teachings of Presidents ofthe Church Brigham Young (1997) viii

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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C O M E F O L L O W M E

Family

983152983137tter983150 of

President Boyd K PackerPresident of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

April 2014 general conference

The ultimate end

of all activity in

the Church is that

a man and his wife

and their childrencan be happy

at home

The FamilyYoursquoll be studying about the family in your Sunday classes

this month As you study and discuss family you may pon-der these questions Why do Church leaders emphasize

family so much What is the place of family in Heavenly

Fatherrsquos plan How does family help make us happy

To find some answers to these questions see the

family proclamation near the back of your Personal

Progress or Duty to God booklet or online at ldsorg

gofamilyNE8 Yoursquoll also find teachings about

family relationships in general conference talks at

conferenceldsorg

Give yourself an easy reminder to prepare for your

Sunday lessons on the family Just place these cards

in your scriptures locker or bedroom You can also

download or share them online at ldsorggocardsNE8 B A C K G R O U N D T E X T U R E

B Y I S T O C K P H O T O T H I N K S T O C K

We 983150eed We 983150eed

MOR E

983155tre983150983143the983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

RELATIONSHIPS

983153u983137lity 983153u983137lity TIME amp EFFORT INTO

TO PUT

983155re983150983143te983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4452

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4552

T H E E X T R A S M I L E

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 43

I dont like to pack so I rsquo m just wearing all my stuff

JON CLARK

W h a t m a k e s y o

u t h i n k

D a d rsquo s t a l k i n g t o

t h e

p r o p h e t

B ecaus e h e s ai d h e w as on a conf er ence cal l

RYAN STOKER

F r o m n o w o n j u s t t a k e

a p i c t u r e o f t h e t o o t h a n

d

u p l o a d i t t o m y F a c e b o o k

p a g e

a n d t h e n I rsquo l l s e n d y o u t h e

m o n e y t h r o u g h P a y P a l

RANDY GLASBERGEN

[Gasp] He he made h is bed this morning

And I didnrsquo t even ask

VAL CHADWICK BAGLEY

Who says there arenrsquo t modern m iracles

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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44 N e w E r a

ldquoMymom works

Since you donrsquot see your mom often make sure that

the time you do have together is used well You

could talk to your mom about how to do this She

wants a good relationship with you too and will

help you work on it Try asking her what she would

appreciate coming home to a clean house doing an activity

together just talking with you As you regularly do activities your mom appreciates your relationship will improve

Of course you could plan some fun activities to do together

but any meaningful time togethermdashsuch as washing the dishes

or reading the scripturesmdashcan be a great way to build your

relationship

Also plan time for communication Understanding one

another is a key ingredient in good relationships One thing

to discuss is how your momrsquos work schedule will affect your

relationship with her You can avoid misunderstandings if you

talk about your expectations as well as your momrsquosPrayer will help Families are important to Heavenly Father

so He can inspire you to know how to improve your relation-

ship with your mom Donrsquot ignore a prompting to do something

that seems small (see Alma 376) A hug and a smile for exam-

ple can make a big difference NE

Write a Note

Even if you have very

little time together you

can still express your

love to your mother

Write her thoughtful secret notes As

she reads them at work she will think

of you Do as much as you can for

her Think about her more often and

pray for her Ask the Lord to inspire

you and prompt you regarding how

you can improve your relationship Irinka E 20 Odessa Ukraine

Seek to Understand Her

Try to understand her situation

because she works for your benefit

You can begin by helping with things

at home like cleaning the house

helping your siblings and cooking

You also can share scriptures with

your mom pray together and doactivities that you like to do together

Morony M 18 Chihuahua Mexico

Have a Special Sunday

On some Sundays we

have a special lunch

or dinner with a new

dessert we talk and at

the end we sing hymns This brings

us together and helps us be betterfriends

Rebeca N 12 Satildeo Paulo Brazil

Try an Experiment

We arrange time to be together hav-

ing family home evening playing

games going to the beach having

lunch together All of this helps to

Q U E S T I O N S amp A N S W E R S

all day Howcan I improve our

relationshiprdquo

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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keep the flame of a good relationship

alive When we disagree we avoid

criticizing I know that sometimes I

ask not to do housework but this

contributes to disharmony in the

home Since I began this experiment

mdashcomplaining less lowering my

voice helping more with housework

and talking more with my mothermdash

a sweet spirit has developed in our

home and we cooperate more

Glenda C 18 Bahia Brazil

Help at Home

Do some extra chores

around the house Your

mom has been work-

ing all day If she has

less work to do when she gets home

shersquoll probably be happier and have

more time to talk and do things with

you While you are talking you canask about her day at work It will

show her that you care and it will

open doors for other topics of discus-

sion allowing you to grow closer

Heather B 18 Oregon USA

Find Something You BothLike to Do

My mumrsquos relationship with me

skyrocketed when I said ldquoI want tospend more time with you but I donrsquot

know what to do or when to do itrdquo

Playing board games happens to be

our favorite pastime So we set aside

a time together to play laugh and

make memories When you are open

with your parents eventually they

become your best companions You

UPCOMING QUESTION

ldquoMy parents just

got divorced Irsquom angry that they

have broken up our

family How doI forgive themrdquo

Send your answer and photo by

September 15 2014

Go to neweraldsorg click ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo enter your LDS Accountand then select ldquoNew Erardquo

Responses may be edited for length

or clarity

Responses are intended for help and per-

spective not as official pronouncements ofChurch doctrine

will be able to talk to them about

anything and you will be sure of an

honest answer That is the sign of a

mature relationship

Ephraim S 15 New South Wales Australia

Read Scriptures Together

Both of you could set a goal to read

together every day even just five

minutes from the Book of Mormon

or any other Church book It will

strengthen your relationship andnourish you with the word of God

so you can be ready to face each day

Remember also to pray to God and

ask for His help I know He hears you

and loves you

Laura M 19 Coacuterdoba Argentina

LEARN FROM

YOUR MOTHER

ldquoPlease look to yourfaithful mothers fora pattern to followModel yourselves

after them not after celebritieswhose standards are not the Lordrsquosstandards and whose values maynot reflect an eternal perspectiveLook to your mother Learn fromher strengths her courage andher faithfulness Listen to her She

may not be a whiz at texting shemay not even have a Facebookpage But when it comes to mat-ters of the heart and the thingsof the Lord she has a wealth ofknowledgerdquo

Elder M Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles ldquoMothers and Daughtersrdquo

Ensign May 2010 19

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46 N e w E r a

MISERABLE TOTHE END OFTHE STREET

For one family home evening my

dad wanted to take advantage

of a pause in the rainy weather

to go on a walk around the neighbor-

hood I grumbled and complained

that it was too wet and muddy to

go walking I used the excuse that

I had a ballet recital that week and

didnrsquot want to sprain an ankle but

my dad didnrsquot buy it He insisted thatit was going to be the activity for the

evening I murmured a bit more about

the unfairness and my recital but we

left on the walk anyway

As I glumly stomped outside for

the walk with my family I was deter-

mined not to smile or be happy I

succeeded in feeling miserable until

I N S T A N T M E S S A G E S

we reached the end of the street Then

we turned the corner and I saw in full

force naturersquos beauty and wonder

Before me was a gorgeous sunset

and opposite it was a rainbow arching

above our neighborhood rooftops

I immediately forgot all about being

miserable and looked around in awe

On the way home I said a prayer of

gratitude thanking God for the beautyof His creations I later thanked my

dad for choosing the activity and for

allowing us to enjoy nature for that

family home evening

Jennie H North Carolina USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 47

STANDARDS AND FRIENDS

Since Irsquove been in school Irsquove had friends who havenrsquot understood the

moral standards of our religion At first it was difficult but over time

my friends have become used to the idea of my being morally clean I

made a goal in my life to be clean and pure and itrsquos worked out well both

for me and for those who used to criticize me Over time respect peace and

joy have become a part of our loving circle of friends

Vitoacuteria M Brazil

A DIFFICULT DECISION

FORGIVINGMY FRIENDS

As the only member of the

Church in my peer group

Irsquove experienced some

instances when my friends have

offended me Sometimes they judge

and criticize my religion I feel so

alone yet Irsquom thankful I know the

standards of the Church

If my friends offend me I try to

humble myself and avoid contention

because I know contention is evil When they start discussing some mat-

ters about the Church I just testify of

my belief in the gospel

I always forgive my friends with or

without their apology Forgiving is not

just about saying ldquoApology acceptedrdquo

or ldquoItrsquos OKrdquo because forgiveness has

a deep meaning Jesus Christ atoned

for our sins so that Heavenly Father

can forgive usEven though my friends donrsquot

understand my faith now I know that

I can be Godrsquos instrument to teach

them the gospel I am helping them

and at the same time I am helping

myself to grow spiritually and prepare

to serve a mission

Joshua V Philippines

As volleyball tryouts approached for my senior year in high

school I couldnrsquot believe the thought that was running through

my head I wasnrsquot supposed to play volleyball Irsquod played vol-

leyball since seventh grademdashwhy should this year be any different

Not seeing the sense in quitting I ignored the feeling and continued

to participate in summer volleyball events After a while the feeling

came back so I decided that if I really wasnrsquot supposed to be on the

team my coach would just cut me during tryouts

Then one night at the gym I couldnrsquot focus on the game at all I felt

terrible and restless inside I came home frustrated with my team and

with myself I sat next to my mom and sister and cried I told them

how confused I was and my mom told me to pray and ask Heavenly

Father what He wanted me to do I went up to my room and began to

pray I told Heavenly Father how I felt then I asked Him to help mefeel peace if I was not supposed to continue playing volleyball I felt

His peace in my heart and knew that I needed to quit

Irsquom still not sure all the reasons why that was the right

decision but I know that itrsquos what the Lord

wanted me to do and thatrsquos a good

enough reason for me

The next morning I told my

coach and my teammates that

I wasnrsquot going to be playing

Even though it was incrediblyhard I knew I was doing

the right thing

Klaire B Arizona USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5152

you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5252

WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 252

August 2014 bull Volume 44 bull Number 8

THE MONTHLY YOUTH MAGAZINE OF

THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRI ST OF LATTER-DAY SAI N TS

New Era

THE

Y O U T H M A G A Z I N E O F T H E C H U R C H O F J E S U S C H R I S T O F L A T T E R - D AY S A I N T S

AUGUST 2014

THE ULTIMATE

Adve983150ture pp 32 36 38

DOrsquoSANDDONrsquoTSOF

DEFENDING YOUR BELIEFS p 18

THEDating Academy p 26

WHATIFMOM WORKS

TIPS FOR BONDING p 44

PLUSSUNDAY

LESSON

HELPS pp 2441

The First Presidency Thomas S Monson Henry B Eyring Dieter F Uchtdorf

The Quorum of the Twelve Apostles Boyd K Packer L Tom Perry Russell M NelsonDallin H Oaks M Russell Ballard Richard G ScottRobert D Hales Jeffrey R Holland David A BednarQuentin L Cook D Todd Christofferson Neil LAndersen

Editor Craig A CardonAdvisers Jose L Alonso Mervyn B Arnold

Shayne M Bowen Stanley G Ellis Christoffel Golden

Managing Director David T WarnerDirector of Operations Vincent A VaughnDirector of Church Magazines Allan R LoyborgBusiness Manager Garff Cannon

Managing Editor Brittany BeattieAssistant Managing Editor Joshua J PerkeyPublications Assistant Sally Johnson Odekirk

Writing and Editing Ryan Carr David DicksonDavid A Edwards Matthew D Flitton Mindy RayeFriedman Lori Fuller Garrett H Garff Jennifer GraceJones Michael R Morris Richard M Romney PaulVanDenBergheEditorial Intern Hillary Olsen

Managing Art Director J Scott Knudsen

Art Director K Nicole WalkenhorstDesign Jeanette Andrews Fay P AndrusMandie M Bentley

Intellectual Property Coordinator Collette Nebeker AuneProduction Manager Jane Ann PetersPrepress Joshua Dennis

Printing Director Craig K SedgwickDistribution Director Stephen R Christiansen

copy 2014 by Intellectual Reserve Inc All rightsreserved The New Era (ISSN 0164-5285) ispublished monthly by The Church of Jesus Christ ofLatter-day Saints 50 E North Temple St Salt LakeCity UT 84150-0024 USA Periodicals PostagePaid at Salt Lake City Utah

To subscribe By phone Call 1-800-537-5971 to order using VisaMasterCard Discover Card or American ExpressOnline Go to storeldsorgBy mail Send $8 US check or money order toDistribution Services PO Box 26368 Salt Lake CityUT 84126-0368 USA

To change address Send old and new address information toDistribution ServicesPO Box 26368Salt Lake City UT 84126-0368 USAPlease allow 60 days for changes to take effect

Visit the New Era online at neweraldsorg

Copyright information Text and visual material inthe New Era may be copied for incidental noncom-mercial church or home use Visual material may notbe copied if restrictions are indicated in the creditline with the artwork Copyright questions shouldbe addressed to Intellectual Property Office 50 ENorth Temple St Salt Lake City UT 84150 USA emailcor-intellectualproperty ldschurchorg

POSTMASTER Send all UAA to CFS (see DMM7074125) NON-POSTAL AND MILITARY FA-CILITIES Send address corrections to DistributionServices Church Magazines PO Box 26368 SaltLake City UT 84126-0368 USA

Canada Post Information Publication Agreement40017431

Cover Marriage and familymdashthe ultimate adventure

pp 32ndash39

Cover photograph Cody Bell

To submit manuscripts or art Online Go to neweraldsorg andclick ldquoSubmit Your Workrdquo

Email neweraldschurchorg

Mail New Era Editorial 50 E North Temple StRm 2420 Salt Lake City UT 84150-0024 USA Forreturn include a self-addressed stamped envelope

IN EVERY ISSUE

2 THE MESSAGE

Truths Most WorthKnowingIf you have stumbled or even beenlost for a time you can move for-ward with faith and not wander toand fro in the world any longer

President Boyd K Packer

22 FOR THE STRENGTH OF YOUTH

Defy Gravity Go Forward

with FaithAs you keep moving forward youcan stay upright even when outside

forces try to pull you down

Bonnie L Oscarson

32 SUNDAY LESSON HELP

Why Marriage IsAwesomeA recently married young coupletells it like it is

35 MORMONAD

Missionary Companions

40 TO THE POINT

Reading ldquoromanticrdquo booksno burning desire to sharethe gospel

41 COME FOLLOW ME

The Family

Use these cards to help youprepare for Sunday lessonson marriage and family

43 THE EXTRA SMILE

44 QUESTIONS amp ANSWERS

ldquoMy mom works all day Howcan I improve our relationshiprdquo

46 INSTANT MESSAGES

Insisting on misery forgiving friends a volleyball decision standards and friends

48 FROM CHURCH LEADERS

How to Be WiseNot all wisdom is created equalWe must yield our will to the wis-dom of God

Elder Neil L Andersen

49 CONFERENCE POSTERThe Happiness of MorePeople

President Henry B Eyring

Check out this article for support for this

monthrsquos Sunday lesson theme

New Era

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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6 Banana Bread MissionariesYouth in Ecuador found a deliciousway to share the gospel with others

8 FROM THE MISSION FIELD

A Miracle at the AirportWould three missionaries be strand-ed at the airport Only a smallmiracle could prevent it

10 How to Be Money SmartGet some tips for increasing your

financial IQ

13 LINE UPON LINE

3 Nephi 1815 20ndash21Learn more about how the Saviortaught the importance of prayer

FEATURES

108

16

14 Irsquod Never Prayed Beforein That WayMy father said ldquoWait a minuteWe need to prayrdquo I said ldquoWeneed to whatrdquo

Elder Joseacute L Alonso

16 The 50-Mile HikeThe Scouts knew someone waslost They were surprised to find outwho it was

18 Dorsquos and Donrsquots of Defend-ing Your Beliefs

The scriptures and Church leadershave given us some clear and usefulguidelines for standing up for truth

24 Board Games and Brothers

The joy of being included turnedsour for one little brothermdashuntil hisbig brother made things right

26 The Dating AcademymdashSign Up TodayBecome a dating pro in sixeasy lessons

Matthew O Richardson

36 Why Being a Mom Rocks

A woman was told she was wastingher talent by getting married andhaving children Find out what shegained instead

38 Why Being a Dad Rocks

One man tells how he discoveredthat fatherhood is the adventureevery man was born for

36

26 The Dating Academymdash

Sign Up Today

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 452

2 N e w E r a

Some youth have questions and are

searching for direction Others are

wondering how they got off the gos-

pel path and how they might return While

I speak to all I speak most earnestly to the

one who is seeking

Your Spiritual Account We all live on spiritual credit In one way

or another the account builds and builds If

you pay it off as you go you have little need

to worry Soon you begin to learn discipline

and know that there is a day of reckoning

ahead Learn to keep your spiritual account

paid off at regular intervals rather than allow-

ing it to collect interest and penalties

Because you are being tested it is expec-

ted that you will make some mistakes Iassume that you have done things in your life

that you regret things that you cannot even

apologize for much less correct therefore

you carry a burden You perhaps may feel

inferior in mind and body and are troubled

or burdened with the weight of some spiri-

tual account that is marked ldquopast duerdquo When

you come face to face with yourself in those

moments of quiet contemplation (which

many of us try to avoid) are there some

unsettled things that bother you Do you

have something on your conscience Are you

still to one degree or another guilty of any-

thing small or large

Too frequently we receive letters from

those who have made tragic mistakes and areburdened They beg ldquoCan I ever be forgiven

Can I ever changerdquo The answer is yes (See

1 Corinthians 1013)

Repentance Gives Relief

The gospel teaches us that relief from

torment and guilt can be earned through

repentance Save for those fewmdashthose very

fewmdashwho defect to perdition after hav-

ing known a fulness there is no habit noaddiction no rebellion no transgression no

offense small or large which is exempt from

the promise of complete forgiveness No

matter what has happened in your life the

Lord has prepared a way for you to come

back if you will heed the promptings of the

Holy Spirit

Some are filled with a compelling urge

By PresidentBoyd K Packer

President of theQuorum of theTwelve Apostles

TRUTHS

MOST WORTHKNOWING

If you have stumbled or even been lost for a time you can move forward

with faith and not wander to and fro in the world any longer

T H E M E S S A G E

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 3

a temptation that recycles in the mind perhaps to become

a habit then an addiction We are prone to some transgres-

sion and sin and also a rationalization that we have no guilt

because we were born that way We become trapped and

hence comes the pain and torment that only the Savior can

heal You have the power to stop and to be redeemed

A Rattlesnake Named Pornography

President Marion G Romney (1897ndash1988) First

Counselor in the First Presidency told me once ldquoDonrsquot just

tell them so that they can understand tell them so that theycannot misunderstandrdquo

So listen up I will speak plainly as one called and under

obligation to do so

You live in a day when the scourge of pornography

is sweeping across the world It is hard to escape it

Pornography is focused on that part of your nature through

which you have the power to beget life

To indulge in pornography leads to difficulties divorce

disease and troubles of a dozen kinds There is no part of

it that is innocent To collect it view it or carry it around in

any form is akin to keeping a rattlesnake in your backpack

It exposes you to the inevitable spiritual equivalent of theserpentrsquos strike with its injection of deadly venom One

can easily understand with the world being what it is that

you can almost innocently be exposed to it to read it or to

view it without realizing the terrible consequences If thatCollecting or viewing pornography is akin to keeping a rattlesnake

in your backpack

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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4 N e w E r a

describes you I warn you to stop it Stop it now

The Book of Mormon teaches that all people ldquoare

instructed sufficiently that they know good from evilrdquo

(2 Nephi 25) That includes you You know what is rightand what is wrong Be very careful not to cross that line

Although most mistakes can be confessed privately to

the Lord there are some transgressions that require more

than that to bring about forgiveness If your mistakes

have been grievous see your bishop Otherwise ordinary

confession quietly and personally will do But remember

that great morning of forgiveness may not come all at once

If at first you stumble do not give up Overcoming discour-

agement is part of the test Do not give up And as I have

counseled before once you have confessed and forsaken your sins do not look back

The Lord is always there He is willing to suffer and

pay the penalty if you are willing to accept Him as your

Redeemer

The Saviorrsquos Suffering for Our Sins

As mortals we may notmdashindeed cannotmdashunderstand

fully how Jesus Christ fulfilled His atoning sacrifice But for

now the how is not as important as the why of His suffer-

ing Why did He do it for you for me for all of humanity

He did it for the love of God the Father and all mankind

ldquoGreater love hath no man than this that a man lay down

his life for his friendsrdquo ( John 1513)

In Gethsemane Christ went apart from His Apostles to

pray Whatever transpired is beyond our power to know

But we do know that He completed the Atonement He

was willing to take upon Himself the mistakes the sins and

guilt the doubts and fears of all the world He suffered for

us so that we would not have to suffer

Complete Forgiveness Is Possible

If you have stumbled or even been lost for a time if

you feel that the adversary now holds you captive you

can move forward with faith and not wander to and fro in

the world any longer There are those who stand ready to

guide you back to peace and security The grace of God

as promised in the scriptures comes ldquoafter all we can dordquo

(2 Nephi 2523) The possibility of this to me is the truth

most worth knowingI promise that the brilliant morning of forgiveness can

come Then ldquothe peace of God which passeth all under-

standingrdquo (Philippians 47) comes into your life once again

something like a sunrise and you and He ldquowill remember

[your] sin no morerdquo ( Jeremiah 3134) How will you know

you have been forgiven You will know (See Mosiah

41ndash3)

This is what I have come to teach you who are in

trouble He will step in and solve the problem you

cannot solve but you have to pay the price It does notcome without doing that He is a very kind ruler in the

sense that He will always pay the price necessary but He

wants you to do what you should even if it is painful

I love the Lord and I love the Father who sent Him

Our burdens of disappointment sin and guilt can

be laid before Him and on His generous terms each

item on the account can be marked ldquopaid in fullrdquo (See

Isaiah 118ndash19)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 5

Live Faithfully and Remain Worthy

The scripture ldquolearn wisdom in thy youth yea learn in thy

youth to keep the commandments of Godrdquo (Alma 3735) is

an invitation attended by the promise of peace and protec-

tion from the adversary (See also 1 Timothy 412)

Do not expect that all will go smoothly throughout

your life Even for those who are living as they should

it sometimes will be just the opposite Meet each of lifersquos

challenges with optimism and surety and you will have the

peace and faith to sustain you now and in the future

For those who do not yet have all of the blessings youfeel you want and need to have I firmly believe that no

experience or opportunity essential for redemption and

salvation will be denied you who live faithfully Remain

worthy be hopeful patient and prayerful Things have

a way of working out The gift of the Holy Ghost will guide

you and direct your actions

I know you as the youth of the Church and I under-

stand that yoursquore not perfect but you are moving along that

road Have courage Know that any person who has a body

has power over one who has not1 Satan is denied a body

so if ever you are confronted with temptations know that

you outrank all those temptations if you will exercise the

agency given to Adam and Eve in the garden and passed

on to this very generation NE From a devotional given at Brigham Young University on November 6 2011

For the full text go to speechesbyuedu

NOTE

1 See Teachings of Presidents of the Church Joseph Smith (2007) 211

I promise that the brilliant morning of forgiveness can come

Find help overcoming pornographyat ldsorggoovercomeNE8

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 852

6 N e w E r a

By Mindy Raye FriedmanChurch Magazines

When they meet someone they

offer the person a piece of banana

bread When the person accepts he

or she is told that although the bread

is delicious and good for the body

the missionaries have a message that

will be nourishing to the personrsquos soul

The young men and their companions

then invite the person to meet withthe missionaries In this way theyrsquove

been able to get 40 to 50 referrals for

the missionaries in a couple of hours

The young men also fellowship the

members of their own quorums On

Saturdays they meet for a Young Men

983137983150983137983150983137 Be983137d

For these young men sharing a slice of bread has blessed

countless lives including their own

activity and to work on Duty to

God Then they visit the less-active

members of their quorum They

encourage them to attend church

and then invite them to come back

to play sports or participate in

another activity

In this way and many others

these young men are preparing tobe lifelong missionaries Two of

them (at right) share how they feel

strengthened and inspired by their

experiences

Missionaries

If someone offered you a piece

of delicious banana bread how

would you react For the young

men in a ward in Ecuador thatrsquos

one way they start conversations

about the gospel

Every two months they have a

missionary day with open houses in a

different area of their ward They splitinto several teams each made up of

a young man a full-time or recently

returned missionary and an elder or

high priest Some of the groups work

at a tent some go to contact people

in the park and some go door to door

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Ihave been a member of the Church

for five years My parents are not

members but my uncle Jorge is

the Young Men president and he

has been a great support I am also

grateful to my bishop for his con-

stant support and encouragement

I decided to get closer to the

Church after one of the missionary

days they had in the ward It was

one of my first experiences that

motivated me to join the Church As

a deacon teacher and now a priestmy leaders have always supported

and encouraged me to participate

in all of the missionary work activ-

ities I like the open houses where

I have the opportunity to share

with others the blessing of being a

member of Christrsquos Church What

inspires me most are the service

Changed by

the Gospel

Your Missio983150983137ry Ex983152erie983150ce s

As a deacon I learned my

responsibilities thanks to the

support of my parents and lead-

ers and working with the goals

in the Duty to God booklet As a

teacher I learned more by going

to do visits as a home teacher

participating in the open houses

on the missionary days sharing

banana bread attending Mutual

and participating in ward and

stake activities

Now as a priest I get tofocus more on missionary work

Working with the Young Men

president and as an assistant to

the bishop I have learned much

more about my responsibilities as

a priesthood holder

Our leaders constantly invite

us to come with them and the

full-time missionaries so that we

can become familiar with mis-sionary work They also exhort

us to read the scriptures espe-

cially the Book of Mormon All

of these experiences motivate

and prepare me to receive the

higher priesthood and to serve

a full-time mission

Isaac G 17

Learning My

Responsibilities

activities where I have the oppor-

tunity to serve my neighbor as

Jesus taught us to do

A year ago my younger broth-

ers Luis age 15 and Israel age 12

joined the Church Together we

have been working on the projects

in Duty to God and since their

baptisms we have shared wonderful

experiences working together All of

the young men in the ward are very

close and we support each other

I know that baptism is the gateto enter the kingdom of heaven

When we are in the service of

our fellow beings we are in the

service of God (see Mosiah 217)

Missionary work blesses fami-

lies and I know that my life has

changed because of the gospel

Alvaro T 17

How have you shared the gospel through small and simple means

Share your stories by visiting neweraldsorg and clicking ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo or by emailing neweraldschurchorg

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8 N e w E r a

By Thomas E Robinson III

F R O M T H E M I S S I O N F I E L D

One small prompting can

change lives for the better

A M I RAC LE

ATT H E

AI RP O RT

s a new missionary in Japan I

had a hard time understanding

anyone let alone getting to

know them It was difficult

to learn to love people I didnrsquot even

know especially when I couldnrsquot

understand what they were saying

But I made an effort to show mylove for them and I appreciated their

efforts to reach out to me

Each week my companion and I

received a loaf of homemade bread

from a sister in the ward named Sister

Senba She showed her love for the

missionaries by baking homemade

bread and writing small but heartfelt

notes

I was touched that someone caredabout me I felt impressed to show my

gratitude to her in some small way

I wrote her a note expressing how

grateful I was for her and the sacri-

fices she and her family made to help

the missionaries We became friends

and I began to think of her as my

ldquomother away from homerdquo

A

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Months passed Early one

Wednesday morning I received a

call from my mission president

who asked me to transfer down to

Okinawa When I hung up the phone

I was filled with the most bittersweet

feeling I dreaded having to say my

good-byes Each phone call to tell

members of the ward I would be

leaving on the following day made

my heart hurt Saying good-bye to thepeople I had come to love so much

was more difficult than I had imag-

ined it would be

As I finished these calls I noticed

that the only one who had not

answered the phone was Sister Senba

I was sad I would not be able to say

good-bye to a member who had

become so close to my heart

The next morning two other mis-sionaries and I left for the airport

When we arrived at the ticket counter

and tried to buy tickets the work-

ers told us that our cards had been

declined We did not have any money

to pay for the tickets and the flight

was leaving in 10 minutes The three

of us were in a panic We were about

to miss the flight and be stranded at

the airport for the dayBut all of my panic turned to com-

fort when I turned around and saw

Sister Senba walk into the airport

I was shocked that she was there

because she hadnrsquot known what time

our flight was As she scrambled over

to us she smiled and gave us all bread

to bring onto the plane

As we explained to her that we

were going to miss our flight she

became saddened None of us knew

what to do Then Sister Senba began

rummaging through her purse look-

ing for something that could help us

She jumped happily into the air when

she found a small envelope in her

purse in which weeks ago she had

placed yen50000mdashthe exact amount of

money we needed She gave us the

At that moment I felt the Spirit

more strongly than I ever have before

Sister Senbarsquos example taught me how

important it is to follow the prompt-

ings of the Spiritmdashno matter how

small or strange the prompting might

seem Through these promptings we

have the power to change lives for

the better I know it was not a coinci-

dence that she came to the airport It

was a miracle

TRULY THE LORD USES SMALL MEANS TO

BRING ABOUT HIS WORK

money and we were able to get our

tickets in time We thanked her with

every ounce of gratitude our souls

could muster said good-bye and

rushed onto the plane After the plane took off my fellow

missionary turned to me and said

ldquoIsnrsquot she amazing That was

a miraclerdquo

I then realized how truly mirac-

ulous it really was He then said

ldquoWhat does your note sayrdquo I saw he

was reading a note that was with the

bread Sister Senba had given

him As I realized I had onetoo I pulled out the note

and read a small piece of

paper personally addressed

to me which immediately

made my eyes swell with

tears It said ldquoI love you

Please donrsquot forget me I

will never forget yourdquo

Truly the Lord uses small means to

bring about His work How blessed

we are as members of this Church to

have His influence in our lives Let

us all remain worthy to receive thesepromptings and bless the lives of the

children of God NE

Thomas E Robinson III lives in Utah USA

Editorrsquos note Sister Senba was promptly

reimbursed by the mission

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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When I got my first paycheck for my first real job (at a

sandwich shop) I rewarded myself with a shopping

spree I bought some music and a cute outfit After

spending every dollar Irsquod earned I thought about

my purchases

ldquoThere goes two whole weeks of workrdquo I

thought And a sick feeling started to grow inmy stomach

As I thought about all those hours of hard work mak-

ing sandwiches my superficial purchases hardly seemed

worth it I vowed to be more careful with my money

So from then on I saved every penny for college and a pos-

sible mission and never bought anything I wanted ever again

Yeah right

I was still a normal teenager who wanted stylish clothes

good music and fun activities with my friends But coming

from a big family I knew that if I wanted those things I wouldhave to save money to pay for them myself

It might sound impossible but I found ways to be finan-

cially prepared for the future and have fun at the same timemdash

even with a part-time job that didnrsquot pay very much Here are

some tips on how you can increase your ldquomoney smartsrdquo

10 N e w E r a

HOW TO BEMONEY SMART

By Arianne Cope

Y O U W O R K H A R D F O R Y O U R M O N E Y A fewi983149983152le 983152ri983150ci983152les c983137983150 983149983137ke your c983137sh 983143o further

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A BUDGET THAT WORKS

Yoursquove probably been told about budgets

from the day you earned your first nickel or

dime Thatrsquos because it really works A bud-get is a plan that will help you make the best

use of what you earn and save Herersquos one

way you can set up a budget of your own

1 Decide on a time frame for your budget

Most budgets plan for expenses monthly

2 Add up every dollar you plan to make

to figure out your expected income (Or

use last monthrsquos earnings for this monthrsquos

spending so you have an exact amount

available)

3 Calculate how much yoursquoll need to pay

for tithing along with any other offerings

you might want to give

4 Create a list of things you think yoursquoll pur-

chase throughout the month along with

how much theyrsquoll probably cost

5 Separate your needs from your wants

because yoursquoll want to spend your money

on needs first

6 Subtract the total cost of your needs from

your total income

7 Set aside a little money each month for

your wants

8 After paying for tithing and your imme-

diate needs put most of the money thatrsquos

left into savings Look to the future and set

a plan to save for college a mission (par-

ticularly young men) or other big things

Think about how much you need to save

every month to meet the financial goals

you have for those big things in the future

9 Remember that making your budget work

takes solid planning a strong commit-

ment and self-discipline Itrsquos tough but

itrsquos worth it

SHOPPING PRINCIPLES

If yoursquore like most teenagers yoursquore prob-

ably going to want to spend some of your

money at the mall at a store or online So

yoursquoll want to know some basic principles

about shopping before you go

bull Decide what yoursquore planning to buy

before you go shopping Then stick to

your plan and avoid the habit of buying

things on impulse

bull Buy something only if you really love it

Donrsquot let your friends a salesperson or an

advertisement talk you into buying some-

thing yoursquore not going to use often

bull Remember that the word sale doesnrsquot

always mean yoursquore getting a good deal

Look for the best quality at the lowest

price Sometimes that means paying a

little bit more for something that will last a

lot longer

bull Ask yourself if you can live without the

item Remember the old adage ldquoFix it up

wear it out make it do or do withoutrdquo

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 11

T H E B O O K O F M O R M O N

CONCERT

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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SOME FINAL TIPS

Just to finish here are some general

money-related guidelines to keep in mind

bull Keep track of your money and keep it in

a safe place

bull You canrsquot buy happiness but being will-

ing to share usually results in a smile

bull Avoid gambling of any kind

bull Be cautious of things that seem too good

to be truemdashthey usually are

The most important lesson about money

however is to keep in mind that wersquore not

here on earth to get rich or to have a lot of

fancy things Remember these truths from

the Doctrine and Covenants ldquoSeek not for

riches but for wisdom and behold the mys-

teries of God shall be unfolded unto you

and then shall you be made rich Behold he

that hath eternal life is richrdquo (DampC 67) NE

Arianne Cope lives in Utah USA

THE FUN STUFF

Herersquos a little-known fact a half-gallon

of ice cream from the grocery store tastes

almost as good as ice cream from an ice-cream shop Also a fact you can often buy

a half-gallon of ice cream for the same price

yoursquod pay for a single serving at an ice-

cream shop So if you need to save some

money suggest that your friends all split a

half-gallon from the store rather than spend-

ing a lot more at the ice-cream shop

And thatrsquos just one example of simple

money solutions You can be frugal in lots of

ways while still having a great time

bull Watch the newspaper or look online to

find free community or local events

bull If you want to see a movie go to a mati-

nee or a dollar theater for cheaper tickets

bull Plan ahead Make a list of ideas of free

things to do with your friends so you

wonrsquot rely on spending money to enter-

tain yourselves

bull Have fun outdoors without paying much

(if anything) Enjoy a campfire in the

canyon or on the beach or a free Frisbee

game at the parkmdashthey can be just

as much fun as going to a movie or a

concert

12 N e w E r a

FACT YOU CAN OFTEN BUY A HALF-GALLON OF

ICE CREAM FOR THE SAME PRICE YOUrsquoD PAY FOR A

SINGLE SERVING AT AN ICE-CREAM SHOP

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 13

3 Nephi 1815 20ndash21Jesus Christ taught the Nephites the importance of prayer

Editorrsquos note This page is not meant to be a com-

prehensive explanation of the selected seminary

scripture mastery verses only a starting point for

your own study

983148983141983155983156 983161983141 983138983141 983156983141983149983152983156983141983140

This is one of many scriptures

that teach how praying can help

us escape Satanrsquos temptations (see

also DampC 105 3112 and 6139)

Here are some other blessings thescriptures promise when you obey

the command to pray always What

blessings have you received

bull You will be worthy to stand in the

presence of God (see Luke 2136)

bull The Lord will consecrate your

efforts (see 2 Nephi 329)

bull The Spirit will be poured upon

you (see DampC 1938)

bull You will be given strength toendure (see DampC 88126)

bull Things will work out for your

good (see DampC 9024)

983152983154983137983161 983137983148983159983137983161983155

ldquoWe should be alone

with our Heavenly

Father at least two

or three times each

daymdashlsquomorning mid-day and eve-ningrsquo as the scripture indicates (Alma

3421) In addition we are told to

pray always (See 2 Ne 329 DampC

88126) This means that our hearts

should be full drawn out in prayer

unto our Heavenly Father continually

(See Alma 3427)rdquo

President Ezra Taft Benson (1899ndash1994) ldquoPray

Alwaysrdquo Ensign Feb 1990 2

L I N E U P O N L I N E

983159983144983137983156983155983151983141983158983141983154 983161983141 983155983144983137983148983148 983137983155983147

In the scriptures the Lord repeatedly

promises to answer our prayers if we

will but ask What can you learn from

these scriptures about how to ask and

receive answers What other scriptures

can you find that teach about this

bull James 15ndash6

bull 1 Nephi 1511

bull Enos 12ndash15

bull Mormon 921

bull DampC 810

bull DampC 4630ndash32

983159983144983145983139983144 983145983155 983154983145983143983144983156

ldquoHere the Savior

reminds us that faith

no matter how strong

it is cannot produce

a result contrary to the will of him

whose power it is The exercise of

faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is always

subject to the order of heaven to

the goodness and will and wisdom

and timing of the Lord That is why we cannot have true faith in the

Lord without also having complete

trust in the Lordrsquos will and in the

Lordrsquos timingrdquo

Elder Dallin H Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles ldquo lsquoFaith in the Lord Jesus Christrsquo rdquo

Ensign May 1994 100

983137983148983159983137983161983155 983145983150 983149983161 983150983137983149983141

Praying in Christrsquos name means

more than just ending our prayers

in the name of Jesus Christ The

Bible Dictionary teaches ldquoWe pray

in Christrsquos name when our mind isthe mind of Christ and our wishes

the wishes of Christmdashwhen His

words abide in us (John 157) We

then ask for things it is possible for

God to grant Many prayers remain

unanswered because they are not

in Christrsquos name at all they in no

way represent His mind but spring

out of the selfishness of manrsquos

heartrdquo (ldquoPrayerrdquo)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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By ElderJoseacute L Alonso

Of the Seventy

LINKED PRAYERS COUNSELING WITH THE LORD

ldquoThere may be things in our character in our behavior or concerningour spiritual growth about which we need to counsel with HeavenlyFather in morning prayer After expressing appropriate thanks for

blessings received we plead for understanding direction and helpto do the things we cannot do in our own strength alone

ldquoAt the end of our day we kneel again and report back to our Father We reviewthe events of the day and express heartfelt thanks for the blessings and the helpwe received We repent and with the assistance of the Spirit of the Lord identifyways we can do and become better tomorrow Thus our evening prayer buildsupon and is a continuation of our morning prayer And our evening prayer also is apreparation for meaningful morning prayerrdquo

Elder David A Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles ldquoPray Alwaysrdquo Ensign Nov 2008 41ndash42

14 N e w E r a

When I was 15 I went

to live with my father

while I finished high

school He lived and

worked in another city and had joined

the Church I didnrsquot know he was

a member but I saw that he acted

differently He acted with love and

kindness and was interested in myconcerns and needs

The first night I arrived I was

so hungry We sat down for dinner

and I started to eat but my father

said ldquoWait a minute We need to

prayrdquo I said ldquoWe need to what rdquo I

didnrsquot even know what the word

pray meant My father explained

that he was going to thank God our

Heavenly Father for the food we

had received from Him and then

we could eat My father prayed

and in his prayer he mentioned myname and asked for God to bless

me I felt something wonderful That

was the first time I felt the Spirit so

strongly in my life

My father taught me to pray to

Heavenly Father on my own Later

when the missionaries taught me

about Joseph Smithrsquos prayer I imme-

diately felt that it was possible for the

Lord to answer the prayer of a young

man The missionaries asked me to

read the Book of Mormon and to pray

to know if Jesus is the Christ if JosephSmith was a prophet and if the Book

of Mormon is true

That night I read the story in

3 Nephi 11 of when Jesus visits the

Nephites I was in a private place

so I got down on my knees and I

prayed Even though I was only 15 I

had faith that the Lord would answer

my prayer I received an impression

in my mind as clear as anything Ihad ever seen that Jesus is the Christ

Joseph Smith was a prophet and

the Book of Mormon is true I felt

like Joseph Smith after that prayer

I was so happy to truly know that

Heavenly Father answers prayers

from young people

Irsquod Never PRAYED BEFORE

i983150 Th983137t W983137y

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 15

WHAT KEPT ME STRONG

D983137ily P983137yer

As a teenager in an area with-

out a lot of Church members

I found that daily prayer was one

of the most important things that

helped me stay spiritually strong

I made sure to pray every day and

developed a pattern that helped

memdashmorning and evening prayers

When I heard

my father prayfor the rst timel felt something

wonderful

MORNING PRAYERS

Every morning I would share with

the Lord

bull My plans for the day

bull What I wanted to do

bull What I thought the Lord

wanted me to do

I would present my plans to

God and then ask for the Lordrsquos

help in accomplishing them

EVENING PRAYERS

Every evening I would

bull Report on how my day went

and if I had accomplished the

things I had set out to do

bull Share things that had been

difficult for me

bull Share things that I had learned

from people or through the

Spirit that dayThe more I prayed the more

I learned to understand and

receive impressions from the

Holy Ghost These impressions

helped me gain more strength

to follow the direction of the

Lord NE

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 1852

16 N e w E r a

With canteen in hand I was prepared for my

second 50-mile hike and campout in the

Uinta Mountains I was about as well pre-

pared as a 14-year-old could be My equip-

ment was all set to go my boots were sturdy and my pack

was full of all the essentials

The day of the hike arrived and our

leaders reminded our group of young men

that the mountains could be very danger-

ous Hikers and campers were often lost

in the rugged hills and on the numerous

trails We were warned not to wander

away from the path Our leadersmdashmy

father includedmdashall seemed concerned

for our safety and were anxious to keep

us from straying off of our chosen pathBeing one of the stronger hikers and

a leader in the group I soon found myself

and three other boys leading the way

Sometimes we waited for our group at the

forks in the trail to make sure we followed

the correct path and would not become lost

We hiked for hours laughing and joking all the way We

were having a great time Suddenly we heard frantic calls

and the sounds of running We knew something must have

gone wrong We wondered if maybe some of the grouphad become lost I was concerned for the friends Irsquod left

behind with the leaders Something bad must have happened

We stopped to listen so we could hear what the distant

voices were yelling We heard our names More specifically

I heard my name being called I recognized my fatherrsquos

voice We called back and heard their heavy footsteps coming

in our direction

Something bad had happened We learned that

four of the boys in our group had strayed from

the correct path and had become lost It was us

We were the ones who were lost My father was

thankful to have finally found us and together we

began the hike back to the correct trail

In my head I retraced my footsteps I couldnrsquot

figure out how Irsquod become lost I felt like I was

still on the original path Irsquod been so sure We

retraced our steps and my father showed us aturn we had missed It was just a small path with

a little hidden sign marking the correct way

We had hiked two miles off the right trail

We were thankful wersquod been found

before dark For the rest of the hike

we stayed close to our leaders and the rest of the

group and were never in danger again

Sometimes our overconfidence as youth

gives us an unrealistic sense of independence

We push on without consulting our parentsor leaders We fail to ask for advice We feel

By Duncan Anderson

Mile Hike

The

We stoppedto listen so we

could hear whatthe distant voices

were yellingWe heard ournames We

called back andheard their heavyfootsteps comingin our direction

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 17

certain wersquore headed in a direction leading to the right

destination We laugh and joke and enjoy the path until itrsquos

too late too dark and wersquore lost

When it comes to choosing the right trails in life our

Heavenly Father has provided tools to guide us and keep us

on the path that leads to Him We have the scriptures prayer

and revelation our parents guidelines like For the Strength

of Youth and our Church leaders to guide us through the

countless options life offers

When we do stray off the path itrsquos often our loving parents

and dedicated leaders who come to the rescue They can

guide us back to the correct way and show us where we

went wrong Through repentance we can correct those

wrongs and start fresh on the right path headed toward the

destination that will give us eternal happiness and a life in the

presence of our Heavenly Father NE

Duncan Anderson lives in Utah USA

CHOOSING RIGHT PATHS

ldquoI plead with you to make a determi-nation right here right now notto deviate from the path which willlead to our goal eternal life with ourFather in Heaven Along that straight

and true path there are other goals missionaryservice temple marriage Church activity scripturestudy prayer temple work There are countless wor-thy goals to reach as we travel through life Neededis our commitment to reach themrdquo

President Thomas S Monson ldquoThe Three Rs of Choicerdquo

Ensign Nov 2010 68

NEED ADVICE

Is there anything yoursquod like advice on Donrsquot be afraid to ask your

parents or Church leaders Remember they are there to help you

no matter what yoursquod like to talk about

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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One of the things we agree

to do as part of the bap-

tismal covenant is ldquoto

stand as witnesses of

God at all times and in all things and in

all places that [we] may be inrdquo (Mosiah

189) And incidentally we renew this

covenant every week when we partake

of the sacramentIn the April 2014 general conference

several speakers reminded us that there

will be times when standing as a witness

of God will mean having to face oppo-

sition criticism and ridicule So what

should you do when yoursquore required

to take the uncomfortable uncool or

unpopular step of defending your beliefs

By David A Edwards

Church Magazines

Be brave and humble firm and gentle

all at the same time With the Lordrsquos

help itrsquos not as hard as it sounds

18 N e w E r a

of Defe983150di983150983143Your Beliefs

Dorsquos 983137983150d

Donrsquots

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you should rely on the Spiritto guide your defense of your

faith Bear testimony by the

Spirit Thatrsquos the Lordrsquos way

(See also DampC 1005ndash8)

The point here is not that

you should avoid any discus-

sion in which people have dif-

fering points of view Rather it

has to do with your intent as

well as the emotions involved

We should seek understand-

ing and try to persuade withmeekess not just score points

and prove wersquore right and

someone else is wrong A

discussion where people are

getting really worked up and

angry is one you should either

try to soften or simply avoid

Heavenly Father has given

you the gift of the Holy Ghost

and you should take advan-

tage of this gift This doesnrsquot

mean reason and logic canrsquot

be inspired or confirmed by

the Spirit it just means that

Elder W Craig Zwick of

the Seventy has explained

this scripture this way ldquoA lsquosoft

answerrsquo consists of a reasoned

responsemdashdisciplined words

from a humble heart It does

not mean we never speak

directly or that we compro-

mise doctrinal truth Words

that may be firm in infor-

mation can be soft in spiritrdquo

(ldquoWhat Are You Thinkingrdquo

Ensign May 2014 42)

ldquoA SOFT ANSWER TURNETH AWAY

wr983137thBUT

GRIEVOUS WORDS stir u983152 983137983150983143errdquo

(Proverbs 151)

ldquoBeholdI send you forthas sheep in the

midst of wolves be ye therefore wise as serpents

and h983137r983149less as dovesrdquo

(Matthew 1016)

The Savior doesnrsquot want

you to be ignorant or naiumlve

but He also doesnrsquot want you

to attack anyone Knowing

what goes on in the world

doesnrsquot mean we have to

use its tactics

ldquoCONTEND AGAINST

NO CHURCHrdquo (DampC 1820)

There is no need to

criticize other churches

Positive statements of your

beliefs rather than negative

statements about others will

be most effective As the

Prophet Joseph Smith said

ldquoWe donrsquot ask any people

to throw away any good

they have got we only ask

them to come and get morerdquo

(Teachings of Presidents

of the Church Joseph

Smith [2007] 155)

ldquoAND THOUSHALT DECLARE

983143l983137d tidi983150983143s ldquoAND THOU SHALTDO IT WITH 983137ll hu983149ilityTRUSTING IN ME 983154evili983150983143 983150ot

AGAINST REVILERSrdquo

(DampC 1929ndash30)

The tidings you declare

are glad Remember that

and make sure your face and

your voice show it too Also

the word revile here means

to hurl abusive or insulting

language at a person So if

ldquoFOR I AM

NOT ASHAMED

OF THE GOSPEL OF CHRISTrdquo

(Romans 116)

As President Thomas S

Monson has said ldquoWe will all

face fear experience ridiculeand meet opposition Let

usmdashall of usmdashhave the courage

to defy the consensus the

courage to stand for prin-

ciple Courage not com-

promise brings the smile of

Godrsquos approvalrdquo (ldquoBe Strong

and of a Good Couragerdquo

Ensign May 2014 69)

The scriptures give you some basic principles for standing up for your faith including the following

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 19

ldquoWe s983152e983137k

NOT IN THE WORDS which 983149983137983150rsquos

WISDOM TEACH ETH

but which THE HOLY GHOST

TEACHETHrdquo

(1 Corinthians 213)

ldquoHE THATHATH THE

SPIRIT OF CONTENTIONIS NOT OF ME

BUT ISOF THE DEVIL

WHO IS THE FATHER OFCONTENTION AND

HE STIRRETH UPTHE HEARTS

OF MEN

TO CONTEND WITH ANGER

ONE WITH ANOTHERrdquo(3 Nephi 1129)

HERErsquoS SOME ADVICE FROM THE SCRIPTURES

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How Do You Defend Do you have experi-ence in defending yourbeliefs Or do you haveideas to add to theselists Go to ldsorggodefendNE8 and share

Finding Courage

Read more on this topic atldsorggocourageNE8

someonersquos doing that to you

donrsquot retaliate and do the

same thing back to them The

Apostle Peter taught that the

Savior Himself gave the exam-

ple you should follow in thisregard (see 1 Peter 223)

ldquoLOVE YOUR ENEMIESbless them

that curse you

DO GOOD TO T HEMTHAT HATE YOU

and pray for

them which

DESPITEFULLY USE YOUAND PERSECUTE YOUrdquo

(Matthew 544)ldquoSEE THAT YE ARE NOT lifted u983152 u983150to

983152ride ye983137 SEE THAT YE DO

NOT BOAST IN YOUR

OWN WISDOM

983150or of your 983149uch stre983150983143thldquoUSE BOLDNESS

BUT NOT

OVERBEARANCErdquo (Alma 3811ndash12)

Here the word tenets

refers to opinions or teachings

that go beyond the basics So

the Lord is saying to stick to

the basic message of the gos-

pel when yoursquore declaring Hisglad tidings This also applies

to defending your faith

You donrsquot need to stray into

detailed discussions about

every little thing related to the

Church As Elder Richard G

Scott of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles has said

ldquoKeep your sharing of the

gospel simple rdquo (ldquo lsquoI HaveGiven You an Examplerdquo

Ensign May 2014 34)

ldquoEveryone independent

of his or her decisions and

beliefs deserves our kind-

ness and considerationrdquo said

Elder Neil L Andersen of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles ldquoThe Savior

taught us to love not only

our friends but also those

who disagree with usmdashand

even those who repudiate

usrdquo (ldquoSpiritual Whirlwindsrdquo

Ensign May 2014 20)

Again be humble Itrsquos not

about you or how smart and

capable you are Also you can

be bold without making over-

blown statements or being

a verbal or intellectual bully

As Elder Jeffrey R Holland

of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoYou willone day find yourself called

upon to defend your faith

Such moments will require

both courage and courtesy

on your partrdquo (ldquoThe Costmdashand

Blessingsmdashof Discipleshiprdquo

Ensign May 2014 6)

ldquoA983150d of te983150ets thou sh983137lt 983150ot t983137lk but thou shalt

declare repentance andfaith on the Savior and 983154e983149issio983150 of si983150sby baptism and by fire

yea even the Holy Ghostrdquo(DampC 1931)

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22 N e w E r a

I received my first two-wheel bicycle

when I was eight years old With

the help of my older brother and

father I began the rather scary pro-

cess of figuring out how to ride it The other kids in the neighborhood

made it look so easy and natural as

they zoomed up and down the street

on their bikes I perched on the bike

seatmdashwhich seemed to be at least

10 feet (3 m) above the groundmdashand

realized there was absolutely noth-

ing to keep me from falling over and

proving that the law of gravity was

alive and well As I tried riding I learned quickly

that if I wanted to stay balanced I had

to keep pedaling When I first sat on

the seat speed was the last thing I

wanted to add to the already daunting

equation But I very soon understood

the wisdom and the physics involved

in moving forward As long as I kept

pedaling I could stay upright and

avoid the rough concrete just waiting

to take the skin off my arms and legs

Soon I was zipping around the neigh-

borhood with my friends

Defy Gr983137vity Defy Gr983137vity

of the First Presidency as outlined

in that booklet our lives will be bal-

anced and steady We will be led

where we want to go

We need to keep moving forwardto avoid falling To do that we should

consistently and faithfully do certain

actions

bull Pray morning and night

bull Study the scriptures daily

bull Attend Church meetings and par-

take of the sacrament worthily

bull Serve those around us

bull Be worthy to attend the temple

All of these actions keep us moving

forward in the right direction

Thatrsquos why reading and being famil-

iar with the standards described in For

the Strength of Youth will help ensure

we are making choices consistent with

Godrsquos standards Living these princi-

ples and keeping the commandments

F O R T H E S T R E N G T H O F Y O U T H

By Bonnie LOscarson

Young WomenGeneral President

As you keep moving forward you can stay upright even

when outside forces try to pull you down

Just as those who keep

pedaling a bike can stay

upright despite gravityrsquos

influence those who are

guided by the Holy Spirit in

all they do can withstand

the influence of theadversary

So it is with living the gospel and

the standards in For the Strength of

Youth It takes faith to believe that if

we consistently follow the counsel

GO FORWARD WITH FAITH

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 23

invite the Holy Ghost to be our con-

stant companion Just as those who

keep pedaling a bike can stay upright

despite gravityrsquos influence those who

are guided by the Holy Spirit in allthey do can withstand the influence of

the adversary

What are the destinations you have

in mind as you pedal forward For all

young men of the Aaronic Priesthood

preparing now for a full-time mission

is important in forward growth For

all youth being prepared to go to the

temple and receive the endowment by

making and keeping sacred covenantsshould also be a primary goal

As the message from the First

Presidency at the beginning of For the

Strength of Youth says ldquoIn all that you

do stay focused on the temple In the

temple you will receive the greatest

of all the Lordrsquos blessings including

marriage for time and all eternityrdquo1

Receiving the covenant of eternal

marriage in the house of the Lord and

becoming righteous husbands wives

fathers and mothers may seem far

down the road but the time to beginpreparing is now All of these things

lead to the most glorious and grand

destination of allmdasheternal life with

our Heavenly Father

One of my favorite scriptures

sums up what we need to do in order

to keep moving toward our goals

ldquoWherefore ye must press forward

with a steadfastness in Christ hav-

ing a perfect brightness of hopeand a love of God and of all men

Wherefore if ye shall press forward

feasting upon the word of Christ and

endure to the end behold thus saith

the Father Ye shall have eternal liferdquo

(2 Nephi 3120)

Just as I learned as an eight-year-

old girl that I needed to keep pedaling

and moving forward in order to defy

gravity and keep my balance on my

bicycle it is important for all of us to

keep moving forward with faith trust-

ing in the counsel of living prophetsand a loving Heavenly Father to keep

us from falling Some of our destina-

tions are just down the road while

others will take a lifetime of faithful

living to achieve The promises of

what lies at the end of the road if we

are faithful are certain and glorious

and well worth the ride NE

NOTE

1 For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

Learn MoreSee whatrsquos next in your covenant path

at ldsorggocovenantNE8

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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24 N e w E r a

BOA R D

GA M E S

B y Da vid Chris tensen

My chance to play le f t

a lasting impact but it

wasnrsquot what Irsquod e xpected

L o s i n

g s o

q u i c k

l y w

a s b

a d e

n o u

g h

b

u t t o

m a k

e m

a t t e r s

w o r s e

t h

e o t h

e r g

u y

s s t a r t e

d t o

m a k

e

f u n

o f

m e

I

t r i e d

t o c o

n t i n

u e

p l a y i n g

e v e

n t h

o u

g h

t h e y

w e r

e b

e i n

g m

e a n

b

u t i t

w a s h

a r d t o h o

l d b

a c k m y t e

a r s

o f f r u s t

r a t i o n

U

n f o

r t u n a t e l y

o n e t e

a r t r i c k l e

d d

o w

n m y

c h e e

k b

e f o

r e I

c o u

l d w i p

e i t

a w a y M

y b

r o t h

e r

s a w i t

a n d

t e a s e

d m

e t o

o

I c o

u l d

n rsquo t

t a k e i t

a n y

m o r e

a n d

r a n t o

m y

r o o m

I g a v e m y s e l

f a q u i c k p i n

c h

t o m a k e s u r

e I w a s n rsquo

t d r e a m i n g

a n d t h e

n I v o i c e d

a t i m i d ldquo Y e

a h

s u r e rdquo I s t

i l l c o u l d

n rsquo t b e l i e

v e t h a t

m y b r o t h e

r h a d i n v

i t e d m e t o

p l a y a g a m e w i t h

t h e ldquo b i g k i

d s rdquo

A f t e r a l l

I rsquo d b e e n t o l d f o r t h

r e e

y e a r s t h a

t I w a s s t i l l

t o o y o u

n g

t o p l a y m o r e d i f fi

c u l t b o a

r d

g a m e s w i t h m y b r o

t h e r a n d

h i s f r i e n d s

A N D B R O

T H

E R S

I

felt the hot tears of anger slowly slide

down my face I wiped them away with

my hand but I could still feel the

slightly salty taste on my lips assobs of anguish began to pour out

I just wanted to hang out with my

brother Why couldnrsquot he be my

friend too

J u s t a f e w

h o u r s

b e f o

r e I h a d

s t a r e d a t

m y o

l d e r b

r o t h

e r S t e v e

i n c o

m p

l e t e s u r p

r i s e

w a i t i n

g f o r h

i m t o

t e

l l

m e t h

a t h e w

a s o n

l y

j o k i n g ldquo W

e l l d o y o

u

w a n

t t o p

l a y rdquo S t e v e

a s k e d i m p

a

t i e n t l y

I w

e n t i n t o t h e

r o o m w h

e r e t h e

o l d e r b o y s

w e r e

s e t t i n g u p

t h e b o a r d

g a m e A s t h e

g a m e s t a r t e d

w i t h

e v e r y o n e s t r a t e g i c a l l y

p l a c i n g

t h e i r g a m

e

p i e c e s

I f e l t l i k e

I w

a s d r e a

m i n g F o r

t h e fi r s t t i m

e

I f e l t e q u a l t o

m y b r o t h e r mdash

n o t l i k e I

w a s j u s t h i s

t a g a l o n g

T h e d r e a m

e n d e d q u i c k

l y h o w e v e r

T h e

g a m e w

a s t o u g h

a n d m y i n

e x p e r i e n c e

a n d l a c k

o f k n o w l e d g e

b e c

a m e

p a i n f u l l y o b v i o u s

a s t h e o t

h e r

p l a y e r s q u i c k l y

a n d

s o u n d l y d e f e a t e d

m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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26 N e w E r a

Le983137r983150i983150983143 the i983150s 983137983150d outs of d983137ti983150983143 c983137983150 be h983137rd Let this course tur983150 you

i983150to 983137 d983137ti983150983143 983152ro

By Matthew ORichardson

Served as Second

Counselor in theSunday SchoolGeneral Presidencyfrom 2009 to 2014

hile speaking to youth about how to prepare for a celestial marriage

President Thomas S Monson emphasized that ldquoproper dating is a part

of preparation for marriagerdquo 1 Have you thought much about happy

relationships Elder Russell M Nelson of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said a ldquocelestial marriage brings greater possibilities for happiness than

does any other relationshiprdquo2

When I was serving as bishop in a young single adult ward I worried about those

who approached dating with very little purpose understanding or direction This

caused me to wonder if my own children would be any different when their time came

My wife and I decided to help our children prepare for ldquoproper datingrdquo and happy rela-tionships by creating the Richardson Dating Academy or RDA as our children call it

It wasnrsquot long after we started the RDA that friends of our children wanted to partici-

pate and even become RDA graduates So how about you Are you ready to become a

dating academy graduate yourself Class is in session

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 27

Lesso983150 1 ur983152oses 983137983150d St983137983150d983137rds of D983137ti983150983143

Lesso983150 2 W983137tch 983137983150d Le983137r983150

Homework

As you know ldquodatingrdquo means different things to differ-

ent people Your first assignment is to figure out just what

a ldquodaterdquo is according to Church standards Can you explain

the purposes of dating and the specific dating standards and

guidelines set by the Church Or do you know when itrsquosmost appropriate to be involved in dating and steady dating

(having a boyfriend or girlfriend)

You can find answers to these questions in the ldquoDatingrdquo

section of For the Strength of Youth The First Presidency

reminds us why knowing and understanding these stan-

dards are so important They promise ldquoThe standards in this

Elder Jeffrey R Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles once explained that most athletic contests have ldquolines

drawn on the floor or the field within which every participant

must stay in order to competerdquo3 Success depends on how

well a competitor knows and stays within the set boundaries

Likewise itrsquos important to know the ldquodating linesrdquo or the pur-

poses and standards of dating as taught by Church leaders

One of the most com-

mon ways people learn

is by watching others

Dating is no different

In the dating academy

we spend time observ-

ing others in dating

situations In our family

we learned many point-ersmdashsome to do others

to avoidmdashby watching

dates in progress at

restaurants and other

settings Yes we went to

certain places with the

sole purpose to observe

dates for ldquoclassrdquo

booklet will help you with the important choices you are

making now and will yet make in the futurerdquo4

Now that you have a solid foundation of the stan-

dards and purposes of dating (you did do your home-

work and read that section didnrsquot you) itrsquos time to move

on to lesson 2

Tips

Here are some suggestions that will help you learn

as you observe

bull Watch but donrsquot be creepy This is about learning from

others but not stalking staring or even judging Look for

things you like and things you would like to avoid

bull Go to a variety of places and settings to observe others

Not every date is the same nor should it be Watch how thesetting affects the experience

bull Watch how people interact with each other Can you tell

who is with whom Are they paying attention to each

other In what ways Are they talking with each other Do

they look like they enjoy being with each other How can

you tell if they are having fun

bull Talk with a parent leader or good friends and share what

you noticed and what you learned

Homework

The next time you go

out to eat attend a movie

or go to almost any activ-

ity make an effort to look

around and see how other

people are interacting It

may surprise you to see

how much dating is actu-ally going on Take the

time to learn from those

around you by paying

attention to whatrsquos work-

ing and what isnrsquot

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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28 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 3 l983137983150983150i983150983143 983137 D983137te

Tips

bull Start planning early

bull Donrsquot be afraid to bounce ideas off your friendsparents and others They can provide excellent

suggestions that you havenrsquot even thought about

bull Make sure you let your budget amount of time

available the reasons for dating and Church stan-

dards guide your planning

bull Think of what you hope will happen during the

date from beginning to end This helps you realize

what needs to be done to make the date a success

bull Pay attention to details Call ahead for event times

prices menus and what the proper dress is for

the occasion

bull Plan for emergencies For example what will you

do if you donrsquot have enough money or have car

trouble What if your date gets sick

Homework

Rather than leaving everything to chance dating acad-

emy grads understand what needs to happen and theyplan accordingly

Your homework assignment even if yoursquore years away

from dating is to practice planning an event You can

brainstorm with friends really fun ideas for a date Then

work together to think of what planning is required to

make those ideas actually happen Or you can ask your

parents to let you plan the next family outing

You might choose a place to eat or what to do Plan all

the details (event times travel time cost backup plans)

and then put your plan into action You could evencome up with a dating plan complete with backup ideas

if something goes wrong and share it in family home

evening while talking together around the dinner table

or with friends You may find that properly planning an

activity is almost as much fun as the actual date

The quality of experience yoursquoll have with others is

often determined by what happens before a date begins

Showing up on your datersquos doorstep with no plan is a

recipe for an awkward experience Nobody likes playing

the ldquoWhat do you want to dordquo game

Yoursquore better than that With a little practice you can

become a date-planning champion And young women

no fair skipping this section While most of the time young

men plan and ask for dates yoursquoll still want to have these

skills down for when itrsquos your turn

Group Date IdeasNeed ideas Check out ldsorggoideasNE8 Some

of the youth activities there could be adapted for dates

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Homework

In the Richardson Dating Academy all of our

children practiced dating invitations For example

our children might call an aunt older sibling or other

family member to practice inviting someone on a

date Or our son or daughter would receive an invita-

tion from a family member and practice responding

They learned how to deal with rejection acceptance

or even a disinterested response or two

Now itrsquos your turn Working with your parents ask

them to line up somebody in your family you can call

and practice inviting on a date Make sure you do this

more than once

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 29

You know your dating standards front and back

yoursquove watched others in dating situations and

yoursquove come up with a solid date plan

Congratulations Now you still need to invite

someone Or you need to know how to respond

when you are invited So whatrsquos the best way A

phone call Ask in person Here are some different

points to consider

Lesso983150 4 I983150viti983150983143 Others 983137983150d Bei983150983143 I983150vited

Tips

bull Be ready to give details when you invite

someone on a date Talk about what you have

planned start and end times whorsquos participat-ing and how they should dress (casual dressy

etc) Your excellent planning from academy

lesson 3 makes this part of the academy easy

bull Therersquos a time to talk by phone and a time to

ask face-to-face The more important the event

is the more personal the invitation should be

Donrsquot be afraid to skip technology and actually

talk with someone

bull Some events may require you to speak with

your datersquos parents first This shows respectand courtesy

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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30 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 5 O983150 the D983137te

It would be impossible for any dating academy to cover

every little thing to consider or plan for in dating So much

depends on good judgment communication with your par-

ents and listening to the Spirit

Still here are a few key points you might want to brush

up on before putting your date plan into action

Tips

bull Develop a ldquoyou firstrdquo attitude This means you always

think of your date first Is he or she having fun Is he or

she comfortable

bull Make sure you dress appropriately for the occasion

The way you dress usually communicates how you feelabout others and about the event Know the difference

between casual (but never sloppy) semiformal and

formal and when it would be appropriate to dress in

those ways

bull Show common courtesy by opening doors saying

thank you talking less about yourself and more about

your date and extending sincere compliments

bull Learn how to navigate restaurants Know how to make

a reservation get a table calculate a service tip and

pay the bill

Homework

Once again the best way to learn any good skill is by practic-

ing it Our youth enjoyed role-playing different situations

to think about how to act most appropriately We

also loved going out to eat as part of the dating acad-

emy experience Our children learned how to act in

a restaurant order a meal calculate the tip and paythe bill by actually doing it when they were with us

Look for opportunities to practice skills you should use on a

date For example the next time you and your family go some-

where ask your parents to let you purchase the tickets order

the meal or calculate the tip Treat your family or friends with

the same respect and courtesy that you should show others on a

date Open doors for your family be the first to say ldquothank yourdquo

and pay attention so you are part of the conversation

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 31

Lesso983150 6 The Doorste983152

NOTES

1 Thomas S Monson ldquoPreparation BringsBlessingsrdquo Ensign May 2010 64

2 Russell M Nelson ldquoCelestial Marriagerdquo Ensign Nov 2008 93

3 Jeffrey R Holland ldquoWe Are All Enlistedrdquo Ensign Nov 2011 45

4 ldquoMessage to the Youth from The First Presi-dencyrdquo For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

5 John Bytheway ldquoWhat Do Kisses Meanrdquo New Era Oct 2004 38ndash41

Last but not least dating

academy graduates know how

to conclude a date on the right

note Nothing sours a great date

more than a bad ending

Herersquos how you can finish a

date with success

Tips

bull Express gratitude Be sincere

and to the point If there was something you especially

liked tell your date what

it was

bull Therersquos no reason for drag-

ging things on at this point

Yoursquove already spent plenty

of time together Avoid the

ldquodoorstep shufflerdquo When

people arenrsquot sure what to

say they tend to shuffle backand forth or move their feet

in place If you find yourself

ldquoshufflingrdquo in place itrsquos a

pretty good signal that you

need to say good-bye

bull Know and follow the

Churchrsquos counsel on kissing

and physical intimacy (You

might also want to read John

Bythewayrsquos article ldquoWhat Do

Kisses Meanrdquo5 at ldsorggo

kissesNE8)

Homework

Yes herersquos another opportunity for practicing Our family has spent several family

home evenings role-playing doorstep good-byes Itrsquos been both helpful and fun to

watch an older sibling coach the younger sibling with dorsquos and donrsquots

Most memorable was an older sister showing how she could turn a hug into a

handshake with the grace of a princess and the speed of a ninja You too can get

together with family members and role-play different scenarios that might happen on

a doorstep We guarantee itrsquoll be an academy night yoursquoll all remember

Gr983137du983137tio983150

If yoursquove studied all the

material worked on the tips done

the homework and talked through

the lessons with your parents and

family you too can become a

dating academy graduate

As you continue strengthening

these important skills yoursquoll find

support strength and power that

will bless your relationships both

now and in the future You will be

better prepared for happiness NE

Do Try This at HomeInterested in having a dating academy at

home Let your parents know therersquos an RDAarticle for them in this monthrsquos Ensign or atldsorggoRDA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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32 N e w E r a

S U N DA Y L E S S

O N S

This Monthrsquos Topic

Ma r r iage a nd

Fa m i l y

MARRIAGE IS WORTH ITldquoIt is so rewarding to bemarried Marriage is wonder-ful In time you begin to thinkalike and have the same ideasand impressions You havetimes when you are extremelyhappy times of testing andtimes of trial but the Lordguides you through all ofthose growth experiencestogetherrdquo

Elder Richard G Scott of the

Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo

Ensign May 2011 96

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 33

We love being marr ied and he

rersquos why

By Ben and Rachel Nielsen

Letrsquos face it girls (and boys) itrsquos nice to know that someone loves you

And when yoursquore married you have chances to share and receive love every

day When I was talking to my parents about the possibility of marrying

Ben my dad said ldquoWhomever you choose to marry I want him to fre-

quently and sincerely express his love for you like Elder Richard G Scott did

for his wiferdquo3 I listened to Dad

I decided to marry Ben and he has always made an effort to express

his love to me in small and big ways During my senior year of college I

worked for months to prepare apply and interview for a prestigious intern-ship And when I finally heard that I got the job I came home and saw a

vase full of flowers from my husband He knew how hard I had worked and

how much the internship meant to me At other times hersquoll hide my favorite

drink and a love note in the fridge before he heads out for a weekend Scout

camp And every day hersquoll do the dishes and make me laugh Ben is great at

expressing his love for me and that brings both of us great joy

During my mission in Brazil I grew to love soccer One thing that I lovemost about this sport is having teammates and learning how to work together

with my team Rachel is a fantastic teammate She helps me achieve my

goals joins me in making important decisions and is there for me when I

have trouble

When we were sealed in the temple we promised to ldquohelp one another as

equal partnersrdquo2 Rachel and I strive to support each other in everything we

do and itrsquos great to know that I always have a reliable teammate

After our first date we both

knew we wanted to go

on a second date Ben

wanted to go on

another date because Rachel was

friendly and fun to talk to Rachel

wanted to go on another date

because Ben was a gentleman

and was still smiling after all of

his well-laid plans fell through

After the second date plus manymore dates and prayers after

that we fell in love and decided

to get married in the Sacramento

California Temple

The wedding day was abso-

lutely perfect and we have loved

being married ever since The

world may see marriage differ-

ently but we know that ldquono other

relationship of any kind canbring as much joy generate as

much good or produce as much

personal refinementrdquo1 Marriage

is awesome and herersquos why

FROM BEN A T e a m m a t e

FROM RACHEL

E x p r e s s i o n s o f L o v e

WHY MARRIAGE IS

A w e s o m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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34 N e w E r a

JOIN THE CONVERSATION

Things to Ponder for Sunday

bull What qualities and attitudes make for the strongest

and happiest marriages and families

bull What are you doing now that will help your future

marriage and family stay strong and happy

Things You Might Do

bull Share with some friends your goal of marrying and

having a family and tell them why

bull In church share why you are looking forward

to marriage and family and how you are pre-

paring for them

serving in the Church and inviting others to come unto

Christ As we work together to build the kingdom of God

we grow closer our love deepens and life is more fulfilling

Dating Rachel is so much fun In fact we make surethat we still frequently go on dates even as a married

couple After we first met we found that we enjoy many

of the same activities walking through parks attending

plays watching sporting events eating new and different

food listening to music and so much more I loved doing

these things before I met Rachel but theyrsquore even more

fun now that we get to share them together When yoursquore

married you have someone to enjoy life withmdashand that

makes life awesome

Before I met Ben I was nearing the age of missionary

service and had seriously considered serving a full-time

mission But then Ben entered my life and I knew that

Heavenly Father had a different plan for me

When Ben and I got engaged relatives who knew

about my thoughts to serve a mission asked me about my

choice and I would tell them ldquoI decided that I wanted topick my own missionary companionmdashand stay with him

for eternityrdquo

When yoursquore married you and your spouse have the

chance to participate in the work of salvation together

Ben and I have found great joy in building a Christ-

centered home studying and living the gospel together

Despite what the world may say marriage is awesome

and is worth making a priority When yoursquore married you

have a teammate you give and receive love you enjoy life

more fully and you have someone to build the kingdom

of God with All of that brings us great joy and because

we were sealed in the temple we can have this joy forever

If we keep our covenants we will be together for eternityand receive the crowning blessings of the priesthood We

ldquohave found in marriage the richest fulfillment of human

existencerdquo 4 NE

Ben and Rachel Nielsen live in Utah USA

NOTES

1 L Whitney Clayton ldquoMarriage Watch and Learnrdquo Ensign May 2013 83 2 ldquoThe Family A Proclamation to the Worldrdquo Ensign Nov 2010 129 3 See Richard G Scott ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo Ensign May

2011 96 4 James E Faust ldquoEnriching Your Marriagerdquo Ensign Apr 2007 6

FROM BEN M o r e E n jo y m e n t

FROM RACHEL A n E t e r n a l M is s i o n a r y C o m p a n io n

TAKE IT FROM US

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Your family can help unite the family of GodYou can all share the gospel in natural and pleasant ways

P H O T O I L L U S T R A T I O N B Y D A V I D S T O K E R

M O R M O N A D

(See M Russell Ballard ldquoPut Your Trust in the Lordrdquo Ensign Nov 2013 43)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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36 N e w E r a

By Alex Larsen

I always knew I wanted to be a mother but when I was grow-

ing up it wasnrsquot always on my mind When my fianceacute and I

were engaged one day I was talking with one of my college

professorsmdasha woman I greatly admiredmdashabout my engage-

ment She said something that brought my life choices into sharp

focus ldquoYou are wasting your talentrdquo she told me as she shook

her head She went on to say that someone as smart as I was

should not get married young She assumed I would have chil-

dren in my future and would be ldquothrowing awayrdquo my education

and chances of a stellar career on my future motherhood I could

tell by the way she looked at me that she thought I was making

a terrible and naiumlve mistake

Itrsquos been several years since that conversation and my hus-

band and I have two little girls Kate is three years old and is

my little sweetheart She moves through life at a leisurely pace

savoring all of the little details she notices Annabel is one yearold with bright blue eyes and a head of curls Shersquos exuberant

and determined Though I didnrsquot change my mind because of

what my professor said our discussion has stayed with me In

one way my professorrsquos predictions were correct I do not have

a prestigious working career But my professor got the most

important point wrong because I have wasted nothing

g i v i n

g u p e v e r y

t hi n g

but wh a t

I

g a i n ed

w as w o r t h so much m o r e

T h e wor l d t o l d me

I w ould

b e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 37

their spirits growing and developing I remember

the first time Kate pointed to a picture of the Savior and

said ldquoJesusrdquo I knew then that what I was doing was eter-

nally significant in the lives of my children

The world often tells us that lifersquos rewards come in

the form of status money or grand accomplishments

but I know therersquos great satisfaction even in the small

acts of changing diapers or wiping sticky fingers Every

little thing I do as a mother is part of helping to build the

kingdom of God by nurturing His children I always knew

I wanted children but it was not until I held my first baby

in my arms that I began to realize how much my heart

was capable of loving

The love I have for my daughters has helped me bet-

ter understand how much my Heavenly Father loves all

of His children When speaking of little children Jesustaught that ldquoof such is the kingdom of heavenrdquo (Matthew

1914) More than anything motherhood has helped me

to grow as a daughter of God because now I know what

a daughter of God looks like from the eyes of a parent

The world makes us think that a woman loses herself in

motherhoodmdashshe loses her body her free time and her

career But I have found myself in motherhood I feel

more beautiful and more valuable than ever before NE

Alex Larsen lives in California USA

I love the opportunity to stay home and care for my

young children because these are the most formative

years of their lives I have the opportunity to create a rich

home environment for my girls by reading and discussing

things with them as part of our everyday life Kate will

often astound me by remembering and commenting on

something wersquod read in a book several weeks before and

Annabel learns a new skill almost every day But as fun

and important as it is to watch them learn new

information and skills I feel the

most satisfied when I see

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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38 N e w E r a

One o f t h e g r e a t e s t ad v enture s o f y o u r l i f e w i l l b e y our rol e a n d c a l l i n g a s a f a t her

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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ROcksROcksROcks

NOTE

1 See Thomas S Monson ldquoWelcome to Conferencerdquo Ensign Nov 2012 4ndash5

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 39

DA D D A DD AD

By Chris Deaver

W

hen I was younger I loved spending time

with my dad He always knew the bestgames to play the best stories to tell at night

and the most interesting sports to try It was

like he was born to be a great dad

Fast-forward my life to when I married my sweetheart

Julia and then even further to the moment that our first

child Daniel was born I was filled with a rush of emo-

tions I was happy shocked amazed and a little scared

I felt totally inadequate to be a father and to have the

responsibility of teaching and being an example to my son

But I quickly realized that Irsquod been preparing all my life tobe a dad When I held my son in my arms for the first time

and looked down into his face I felt the Spirit touch my

heart and I realized that I was ready to try to be a great

dad just like my own dad was to me

When Daniel was very young he already had a great

sense of humor He learned to tell hilarious jokes that

would make my wife and me laugh He also often said

things that inspired us Shortly after hearing President

Thomas S Monson announce the change in age require-

ments for young men and young women preparingto serve missions1 we were driving in the car Daniel

announced that he would start preparing himself right

then at age six so he would have 12 years of preparation

Then he said with a smile ldquoDad can I change the song

from lsquoI Hope They Call Me on a Missionrsquo to lsquoI AM Going on

a Missionrsquordquo It was awesome

WHYbeing a

Three years after Daniel was born he was followed by his

brother Austin For me as a dad itrsquos been great to watch bothboys become best friends And Austin has been just as fun

as Daniel in his own way He enjoys building and destroying

block towers and one of his favorite activities is to fearlessly

wrestle me as if I stand no chance against his four-year-old

powers Of course I give in and let him winmdashso I guess I

reinforce his belief But itrsquos so much fun I know hersquoll be a

great wrestler but what I want most is for him to wrestle

ldquoagainst the rulers of the darkness of this worldrdquo and ldquoagainst

spiritual wickednessrdquo like it says in the scriptures (Ephesians

612) And I hope Irsquom helping to prepare him to do that We just recently had our third child a baby girl named

Faith During the delivery my wife was having some com-

plications and we were scared for our baby I gave Julia

a blessing Then she asked me to sing to her The Spirit

brought peace to both of us Soon baby Faith came safely

into the world It was a miracle and she definitely lived up

to her name Faithrsquos beautiful smile brightens my life I canrsquot

express in words how much she means to me

For any young man still wondering let me tell you You

were born to be a great dad The world may not agree butfatherhood is the best Someday yoursquoll find that your kids

inspire you too and that being a dad is the greatest adven-

ture of your life Yes itrsquos a duty and something you need to

take seriously but being a dad is unlike anything else NE

Chris Deaver lives in Florida USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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40 N e w E r a

We always seem to be encouraged to read more

because well everyone knows that reading is a

good thing But not all books are worth reading and just

because sexual material is written about rather than pho-

tographed or video recorded doesnrsquot mean that itrsquos less

morally hazardous Making a common display of a sacred

intimacy thatrsquos intended to only be part of a marriage rela-

tionship is wrongmdashwhether in words or imagesIf something yoursquore reading contains explicit sexual

descriptions that imprint themselves on your mind and

arouse sexual feelings in the same way that looking at

pornographic images would then guess what Itrsquos pornog-

raphy Remember the counsel in For the Strength of Youth

ldquoChoose wisely when using media because whatever you

read listen to or look at has an effect on you Select only

media that uplifts yourdquo ([2011] 11) NE

T O T H E P O I N T

President Boyd K

Packer President of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoEach

of us must come to ourown personal testimony

of the Lord Jesus Christ

We then share that testi-

mony with our family and

othersrdquo1 It can sometimes

be easy to question the

depth of your testimony

I know looking at pornographic

pictures is wrong but whatabout reading books with

ldquoromanticrdquo scenes

If I donrsquot have a burning

desire to share thegospel does that mean I

donrsquot have a testimony

when you compare your-

self to people like Brigham

Young who once said ldquoI

wanted to thunder and

roar out the gospel to thenations It burned in my

bones like fire pent uprdquo2

So what if you donrsquot feel

fire in your bones

Hopefully your lack of

desire doesnrsquot come from

a lack of concern for your

fellowmen As your faith in

Jesus Christ grows so does

your love of all people a

love that is a mark of the

true followers of Christ (see

Moroni 748 John 1335)

Itrsquos likely however

that your hesitancy sim-

ply comes from fear and

anxiety about speaking toothers For many people

such feelings can be over-

whelming Even prophets

have had doubts about their

ability to speak to people

(see Exodus 410 Moses

631) They of course

had no reason to question

their testimoniesmdashand

neither should you if you

are studying the scriptures

pondering praying fasting

repenting and doing all the

other things that help bring

the Spirit into your life

If you feel you just

need a little extra cour-age to share the gos-

pel visit ldsorggo

shareNE8 for ideas NE

NOTES

1 Boyd K Packer ldquoThe Witnessrdquo Ensign May 2014 96

2 Teachings of Presidents ofthe Church Brigham Young (1997) viii

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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C O M E F O L L O W M E

Family

983152983137tter983150 of

President Boyd K PackerPresident of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

April 2014 general conference

The ultimate end

of all activity in

the Church is that

a man and his wife

and their childrencan be happy

at home

The FamilyYoursquoll be studying about the family in your Sunday classes

this month As you study and discuss family you may pon-der these questions Why do Church leaders emphasize

family so much What is the place of family in Heavenly

Fatherrsquos plan How does family help make us happy

To find some answers to these questions see the

family proclamation near the back of your Personal

Progress or Duty to God booklet or online at ldsorg

gofamilyNE8 Yoursquoll also find teachings about

family relationships in general conference talks at

conferenceldsorg

Give yourself an easy reminder to prepare for your

Sunday lessons on the family Just place these cards

in your scriptures locker or bedroom You can also

download or share them online at ldsorggocardsNE8 B A C K G R O U N D T E X T U R E

B Y I S T O C K P H O T O T H I N K S T O C K

We 983150eed We 983150eed

MOR E

983155tre983150983143the983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

RELATIONSHIPS

983153u983137lity 983153u983137lity TIME amp EFFORT INTO

TO PUT

983155re983150983143te983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4452

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4552

T H E E X T R A S M I L E

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 43

I dont like to pack so I rsquo m just wearing all my stuff

JON CLARK

W h a t m a k e s y o

u t h i n k

D a d rsquo s t a l k i n g t o

t h e

p r o p h e t

B ecaus e h e s ai d h e w as on a conf er ence cal l

RYAN STOKER

F r o m n o w o n j u s t t a k e

a p i c t u r e o f t h e t o o t h a n

d

u p l o a d i t t o m y F a c e b o o k

p a g e

a n d t h e n I rsquo l l s e n d y o u t h e

m o n e y t h r o u g h P a y P a l

RANDY GLASBERGEN

[Gasp] He he made h is bed this morning

And I didnrsquo t even ask

VAL CHADWICK BAGLEY

Who says there arenrsquo t modern m iracles

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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44 N e w E r a

ldquoMymom works

Since you donrsquot see your mom often make sure that

the time you do have together is used well You

could talk to your mom about how to do this She

wants a good relationship with you too and will

help you work on it Try asking her what she would

appreciate coming home to a clean house doing an activity

together just talking with you As you regularly do activities your mom appreciates your relationship will improve

Of course you could plan some fun activities to do together

but any meaningful time togethermdashsuch as washing the dishes

or reading the scripturesmdashcan be a great way to build your

relationship

Also plan time for communication Understanding one

another is a key ingredient in good relationships One thing

to discuss is how your momrsquos work schedule will affect your

relationship with her You can avoid misunderstandings if you

talk about your expectations as well as your momrsquosPrayer will help Families are important to Heavenly Father

so He can inspire you to know how to improve your relation-

ship with your mom Donrsquot ignore a prompting to do something

that seems small (see Alma 376) A hug and a smile for exam-

ple can make a big difference NE

Write a Note

Even if you have very

little time together you

can still express your

love to your mother

Write her thoughtful secret notes As

she reads them at work she will think

of you Do as much as you can for

her Think about her more often and

pray for her Ask the Lord to inspire

you and prompt you regarding how

you can improve your relationship Irinka E 20 Odessa Ukraine

Seek to Understand Her

Try to understand her situation

because she works for your benefit

You can begin by helping with things

at home like cleaning the house

helping your siblings and cooking

You also can share scriptures with

your mom pray together and doactivities that you like to do together

Morony M 18 Chihuahua Mexico

Have a Special Sunday

On some Sundays we

have a special lunch

or dinner with a new

dessert we talk and at

the end we sing hymns This brings

us together and helps us be betterfriends

Rebeca N 12 Satildeo Paulo Brazil

Try an Experiment

We arrange time to be together hav-

ing family home evening playing

games going to the beach having

lunch together All of this helps to

Q U E S T I O N S amp A N S W E R S

all day Howcan I improve our

relationshiprdquo

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4752

keep the flame of a good relationship

alive When we disagree we avoid

criticizing I know that sometimes I

ask not to do housework but this

contributes to disharmony in the

home Since I began this experiment

mdashcomplaining less lowering my

voice helping more with housework

and talking more with my mothermdash

a sweet spirit has developed in our

home and we cooperate more

Glenda C 18 Bahia Brazil

Help at Home

Do some extra chores

around the house Your

mom has been work-

ing all day If she has

less work to do when she gets home

shersquoll probably be happier and have

more time to talk and do things with

you While you are talking you canask about her day at work It will

show her that you care and it will

open doors for other topics of discus-

sion allowing you to grow closer

Heather B 18 Oregon USA

Find Something You BothLike to Do

My mumrsquos relationship with me

skyrocketed when I said ldquoI want tospend more time with you but I donrsquot

know what to do or when to do itrdquo

Playing board games happens to be

our favorite pastime So we set aside

a time together to play laugh and

make memories When you are open

with your parents eventually they

become your best companions You

UPCOMING QUESTION

ldquoMy parents just

got divorced Irsquom angry that they

have broken up our

family How doI forgive themrdquo

Send your answer and photo by

September 15 2014

Go to neweraldsorg click ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo enter your LDS Accountand then select ldquoNew Erardquo

Responses may be edited for length

or clarity

Responses are intended for help and per-

spective not as official pronouncements ofChurch doctrine

will be able to talk to them about

anything and you will be sure of an

honest answer That is the sign of a

mature relationship

Ephraim S 15 New South Wales Australia

Read Scriptures Together

Both of you could set a goal to read

together every day even just five

minutes from the Book of Mormon

or any other Church book It will

strengthen your relationship andnourish you with the word of God

so you can be ready to face each day

Remember also to pray to God and

ask for His help I know He hears you

and loves you

Laura M 19 Coacuterdoba Argentina

LEARN FROM

YOUR MOTHER

ldquoPlease look to yourfaithful mothers fora pattern to followModel yourselves

after them not after celebritieswhose standards are not the Lordrsquosstandards and whose values maynot reflect an eternal perspectiveLook to your mother Learn fromher strengths her courage andher faithfulness Listen to her She

may not be a whiz at texting shemay not even have a Facebookpage But when it comes to mat-ters of the heart and the thingsof the Lord she has a wealth ofknowledgerdquo

Elder M Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles ldquoMothers and Daughtersrdquo

Ensign May 2010 19

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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46 N e w E r a

MISERABLE TOTHE END OFTHE STREET

For one family home evening my

dad wanted to take advantage

of a pause in the rainy weather

to go on a walk around the neighbor-

hood I grumbled and complained

that it was too wet and muddy to

go walking I used the excuse that

I had a ballet recital that week and

didnrsquot want to sprain an ankle but

my dad didnrsquot buy it He insisted thatit was going to be the activity for the

evening I murmured a bit more about

the unfairness and my recital but we

left on the walk anyway

As I glumly stomped outside for

the walk with my family I was deter-

mined not to smile or be happy I

succeeded in feeling miserable until

I N S T A N T M E S S A G E S

we reached the end of the street Then

we turned the corner and I saw in full

force naturersquos beauty and wonder

Before me was a gorgeous sunset

and opposite it was a rainbow arching

above our neighborhood rooftops

I immediately forgot all about being

miserable and looked around in awe

On the way home I said a prayer of

gratitude thanking God for the beautyof His creations I later thanked my

dad for choosing the activity and for

allowing us to enjoy nature for that

family home evening

Jennie H North Carolina USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4952

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 47

STANDARDS AND FRIENDS

Since Irsquove been in school Irsquove had friends who havenrsquot understood the

moral standards of our religion At first it was difficult but over time

my friends have become used to the idea of my being morally clean I

made a goal in my life to be clean and pure and itrsquos worked out well both

for me and for those who used to criticize me Over time respect peace and

joy have become a part of our loving circle of friends

Vitoacuteria M Brazil

A DIFFICULT DECISION

FORGIVINGMY FRIENDS

As the only member of the

Church in my peer group

Irsquove experienced some

instances when my friends have

offended me Sometimes they judge

and criticize my religion I feel so

alone yet Irsquom thankful I know the

standards of the Church

If my friends offend me I try to

humble myself and avoid contention

because I know contention is evil When they start discussing some mat-

ters about the Church I just testify of

my belief in the gospel

I always forgive my friends with or

without their apology Forgiving is not

just about saying ldquoApology acceptedrdquo

or ldquoItrsquos OKrdquo because forgiveness has

a deep meaning Jesus Christ atoned

for our sins so that Heavenly Father

can forgive usEven though my friends donrsquot

understand my faith now I know that

I can be Godrsquos instrument to teach

them the gospel I am helping them

and at the same time I am helping

myself to grow spiritually and prepare

to serve a mission

Joshua V Philippines

As volleyball tryouts approached for my senior year in high

school I couldnrsquot believe the thought that was running through

my head I wasnrsquot supposed to play volleyball Irsquod played vol-

leyball since seventh grademdashwhy should this year be any different

Not seeing the sense in quitting I ignored the feeling and continued

to participate in summer volleyball events After a while the feeling

came back so I decided that if I really wasnrsquot supposed to be on the

team my coach would just cut me during tryouts

Then one night at the gym I couldnrsquot focus on the game at all I felt

terrible and restless inside I came home frustrated with my team and

with myself I sat next to my mom and sister and cried I told them

how confused I was and my mom told me to pray and ask Heavenly

Father what He wanted me to do I went up to my room and began to

pray I told Heavenly Father how I felt then I asked Him to help mefeel peace if I was not supposed to continue playing volleyball I felt

His peace in my heart and knew that I needed to quit

Irsquom still not sure all the reasons why that was the right

decision but I know that itrsquos what the Lord

wanted me to do and thatrsquos a good

enough reason for me

The next morning I told my

coach and my teammates that

I wasnrsquot going to be playing

Even though it was incrediblyhard I knew I was doing

the right thing

Klaire B Arizona USA

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5152

you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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6 Banana Bread MissionariesYouth in Ecuador found a deliciousway to share the gospel with others

8 FROM THE MISSION FIELD

A Miracle at the AirportWould three missionaries be strand-ed at the airport Only a smallmiracle could prevent it

10 How to Be Money SmartGet some tips for increasing your

financial IQ

13 LINE UPON LINE

3 Nephi 1815 20ndash21Learn more about how the Saviortaught the importance of prayer

FEATURES

108

16

14 Irsquod Never Prayed Beforein That WayMy father said ldquoWait a minuteWe need to prayrdquo I said ldquoWeneed to whatrdquo

Elder Joseacute L Alonso

16 The 50-Mile HikeThe Scouts knew someone waslost They were surprised to find outwho it was

18 Dorsquos and Donrsquots of Defend-ing Your Beliefs

The scriptures and Church leadershave given us some clear and usefulguidelines for standing up for truth

24 Board Games and Brothers

The joy of being included turnedsour for one little brothermdashuntil hisbig brother made things right

26 The Dating AcademymdashSign Up TodayBecome a dating pro in sixeasy lessons

Matthew O Richardson

36 Why Being a Mom Rocks

A woman was told she was wastingher talent by getting married andhaving children Find out what shegained instead

38 Why Being a Dad Rocks

One man tells how he discoveredthat fatherhood is the adventureevery man was born for

36

26 The Dating Academymdash

Sign Up Today

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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2 N e w E r a

Some youth have questions and are

searching for direction Others are

wondering how they got off the gos-

pel path and how they might return While

I speak to all I speak most earnestly to the

one who is seeking

Your Spiritual Account We all live on spiritual credit In one way

or another the account builds and builds If

you pay it off as you go you have little need

to worry Soon you begin to learn discipline

and know that there is a day of reckoning

ahead Learn to keep your spiritual account

paid off at regular intervals rather than allow-

ing it to collect interest and penalties

Because you are being tested it is expec-

ted that you will make some mistakes Iassume that you have done things in your life

that you regret things that you cannot even

apologize for much less correct therefore

you carry a burden You perhaps may feel

inferior in mind and body and are troubled

or burdened with the weight of some spiri-

tual account that is marked ldquopast duerdquo When

you come face to face with yourself in those

moments of quiet contemplation (which

many of us try to avoid) are there some

unsettled things that bother you Do you

have something on your conscience Are you

still to one degree or another guilty of any-

thing small or large

Too frequently we receive letters from

those who have made tragic mistakes and areburdened They beg ldquoCan I ever be forgiven

Can I ever changerdquo The answer is yes (See

1 Corinthians 1013)

Repentance Gives Relief

The gospel teaches us that relief from

torment and guilt can be earned through

repentance Save for those fewmdashthose very

fewmdashwho defect to perdition after hav-

ing known a fulness there is no habit noaddiction no rebellion no transgression no

offense small or large which is exempt from

the promise of complete forgiveness No

matter what has happened in your life the

Lord has prepared a way for you to come

back if you will heed the promptings of the

Holy Spirit

Some are filled with a compelling urge

By PresidentBoyd K Packer

President of theQuorum of theTwelve Apostles

TRUTHS

MOST WORTHKNOWING

If you have stumbled or even been lost for a time you can move forward

with faith and not wander to and fro in the world any longer

T H E M E S S A G E

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 3

a temptation that recycles in the mind perhaps to become

a habit then an addiction We are prone to some transgres-

sion and sin and also a rationalization that we have no guilt

because we were born that way We become trapped and

hence comes the pain and torment that only the Savior can

heal You have the power to stop and to be redeemed

A Rattlesnake Named Pornography

President Marion G Romney (1897ndash1988) First

Counselor in the First Presidency told me once ldquoDonrsquot just

tell them so that they can understand tell them so that theycannot misunderstandrdquo

So listen up I will speak plainly as one called and under

obligation to do so

You live in a day when the scourge of pornography

is sweeping across the world It is hard to escape it

Pornography is focused on that part of your nature through

which you have the power to beget life

To indulge in pornography leads to difficulties divorce

disease and troubles of a dozen kinds There is no part of

it that is innocent To collect it view it or carry it around in

any form is akin to keeping a rattlesnake in your backpack

It exposes you to the inevitable spiritual equivalent of theserpentrsquos strike with its injection of deadly venom One

can easily understand with the world being what it is that

you can almost innocently be exposed to it to read it or to

view it without realizing the terrible consequences If thatCollecting or viewing pornography is akin to keeping a rattlesnake

in your backpack

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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4 N e w E r a

describes you I warn you to stop it Stop it now

The Book of Mormon teaches that all people ldquoare

instructed sufficiently that they know good from evilrdquo

(2 Nephi 25) That includes you You know what is rightand what is wrong Be very careful not to cross that line

Although most mistakes can be confessed privately to

the Lord there are some transgressions that require more

than that to bring about forgiveness If your mistakes

have been grievous see your bishop Otherwise ordinary

confession quietly and personally will do But remember

that great morning of forgiveness may not come all at once

If at first you stumble do not give up Overcoming discour-

agement is part of the test Do not give up And as I have

counseled before once you have confessed and forsaken your sins do not look back

The Lord is always there He is willing to suffer and

pay the penalty if you are willing to accept Him as your

Redeemer

The Saviorrsquos Suffering for Our Sins

As mortals we may notmdashindeed cannotmdashunderstand

fully how Jesus Christ fulfilled His atoning sacrifice But for

now the how is not as important as the why of His suffer-

ing Why did He do it for you for me for all of humanity

He did it for the love of God the Father and all mankind

ldquoGreater love hath no man than this that a man lay down

his life for his friendsrdquo ( John 1513)

In Gethsemane Christ went apart from His Apostles to

pray Whatever transpired is beyond our power to know

But we do know that He completed the Atonement He

was willing to take upon Himself the mistakes the sins and

guilt the doubts and fears of all the world He suffered for

us so that we would not have to suffer

Complete Forgiveness Is Possible

If you have stumbled or even been lost for a time if

you feel that the adversary now holds you captive you

can move forward with faith and not wander to and fro in

the world any longer There are those who stand ready to

guide you back to peace and security The grace of God

as promised in the scriptures comes ldquoafter all we can dordquo

(2 Nephi 2523) The possibility of this to me is the truth

most worth knowingI promise that the brilliant morning of forgiveness can

come Then ldquothe peace of God which passeth all under-

standingrdquo (Philippians 47) comes into your life once again

something like a sunrise and you and He ldquowill remember

[your] sin no morerdquo ( Jeremiah 3134) How will you know

you have been forgiven You will know (See Mosiah

41ndash3)

This is what I have come to teach you who are in

trouble He will step in and solve the problem you

cannot solve but you have to pay the price It does notcome without doing that He is a very kind ruler in the

sense that He will always pay the price necessary but He

wants you to do what you should even if it is painful

I love the Lord and I love the Father who sent Him

Our burdens of disappointment sin and guilt can

be laid before Him and on His generous terms each

item on the account can be marked ldquopaid in fullrdquo (See

Isaiah 118ndash19)

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 5

Live Faithfully and Remain Worthy

The scripture ldquolearn wisdom in thy youth yea learn in thy

youth to keep the commandments of Godrdquo (Alma 3735) is

an invitation attended by the promise of peace and protec-

tion from the adversary (See also 1 Timothy 412)

Do not expect that all will go smoothly throughout

your life Even for those who are living as they should

it sometimes will be just the opposite Meet each of lifersquos

challenges with optimism and surety and you will have the

peace and faith to sustain you now and in the future

For those who do not yet have all of the blessings youfeel you want and need to have I firmly believe that no

experience or opportunity essential for redemption and

salvation will be denied you who live faithfully Remain

worthy be hopeful patient and prayerful Things have

a way of working out The gift of the Holy Ghost will guide

you and direct your actions

I know you as the youth of the Church and I under-

stand that yoursquore not perfect but you are moving along that

road Have courage Know that any person who has a body

has power over one who has not1 Satan is denied a body

so if ever you are confronted with temptations know that

you outrank all those temptations if you will exercise the

agency given to Adam and Eve in the garden and passed

on to this very generation NE From a devotional given at Brigham Young University on November 6 2011

For the full text go to speechesbyuedu

NOTE

1 See Teachings of Presidents of the Church Joseph Smith (2007) 211

I promise that the brilliant morning of forgiveness can come

Find help overcoming pornographyat ldsorggoovercomeNE8

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6 N e w E r a

By Mindy Raye FriedmanChurch Magazines

When they meet someone they

offer the person a piece of banana

bread When the person accepts he

or she is told that although the bread

is delicious and good for the body

the missionaries have a message that

will be nourishing to the personrsquos soul

The young men and their companions

then invite the person to meet withthe missionaries In this way theyrsquove

been able to get 40 to 50 referrals for

the missionaries in a couple of hours

The young men also fellowship the

members of their own quorums On

Saturdays they meet for a Young Men

983137983150983137983150983137 Be983137d

For these young men sharing a slice of bread has blessed

countless lives including their own

activity and to work on Duty to

God Then they visit the less-active

members of their quorum They

encourage them to attend church

and then invite them to come back

to play sports or participate in

another activity

In this way and many others

these young men are preparing tobe lifelong missionaries Two of

them (at right) share how they feel

strengthened and inspired by their

experiences

Missionaries

If someone offered you a piece

of delicious banana bread how

would you react For the young

men in a ward in Ecuador thatrsquos

one way they start conversations

about the gospel

Every two months they have a

missionary day with open houses in a

different area of their ward They splitinto several teams each made up of

a young man a full-time or recently

returned missionary and an elder or

high priest Some of the groups work

at a tent some go to contact people

in the park and some go door to door

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Ihave been a member of the Church

for five years My parents are not

members but my uncle Jorge is

the Young Men president and he

has been a great support I am also

grateful to my bishop for his con-

stant support and encouragement

I decided to get closer to the

Church after one of the missionary

days they had in the ward It was

one of my first experiences that

motivated me to join the Church As

a deacon teacher and now a priestmy leaders have always supported

and encouraged me to participate

in all of the missionary work activ-

ities I like the open houses where

I have the opportunity to share

with others the blessing of being a

member of Christrsquos Church What

inspires me most are the service

Changed by

the Gospel

Your Missio983150983137ry Ex983152erie983150ce s

As a deacon I learned my

responsibilities thanks to the

support of my parents and lead-

ers and working with the goals

in the Duty to God booklet As a

teacher I learned more by going

to do visits as a home teacher

participating in the open houses

on the missionary days sharing

banana bread attending Mutual

and participating in ward and

stake activities

Now as a priest I get tofocus more on missionary work

Working with the Young Men

president and as an assistant to

the bishop I have learned much

more about my responsibilities as

a priesthood holder

Our leaders constantly invite

us to come with them and the

full-time missionaries so that we

can become familiar with mis-sionary work They also exhort

us to read the scriptures espe-

cially the Book of Mormon All

of these experiences motivate

and prepare me to receive the

higher priesthood and to serve

a full-time mission

Isaac G 17

Learning My

Responsibilities

activities where I have the oppor-

tunity to serve my neighbor as

Jesus taught us to do

A year ago my younger broth-

ers Luis age 15 and Israel age 12

joined the Church Together we

have been working on the projects

in Duty to God and since their

baptisms we have shared wonderful

experiences working together All of

the young men in the ward are very

close and we support each other

I know that baptism is the gateto enter the kingdom of heaven

When we are in the service of

our fellow beings we are in the

service of God (see Mosiah 217)

Missionary work blesses fami-

lies and I know that my life has

changed because of the gospel

Alvaro T 17

How have you shared the gospel through small and simple means

Share your stories by visiting neweraldsorg and clicking ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo or by emailing neweraldschurchorg

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8 N e w E r a

By Thomas E Robinson III

F R O M T H E M I S S I O N F I E L D

One small prompting can

change lives for the better

A M I RAC LE

ATT H E

AI RP O RT

s a new missionary in Japan I

had a hard time understanding

anyone let alone getting to

know them It was difficult

to learn to love people I didnrsquot even

know especially when I couldnrsquot

understand what they were saying

But I made an effort to show mylove for them and I appreciated their

efforts to reach out to me

Each week my companion and I

received a loaf of homemade bread

from a sister in the ward named Sister

Senba She showed her love for the

missionaries by baking homemade

bread and writing small but heartfelt

notes

I was touched that someone caredabout me I felt impressed to show my

gratitude to her in some small way

I wrote her a note expressing how

grateful I was for her and the sacri-

fices she and her family made to help

the missionaries We became friends

and I began to think of her as my

ldquomother away from homerdquo

A

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Months passed Early one

Wednesday morning I received a

call from my mission president

who asked me to transfer down to

Okinawa When I hung up the phone

I was filled with the most bittersweet

feeling I dreaded having to say my

good-byes Each phone call to tell

members of the ward I would be

leaving on the following day made

my heart hurt Saying good-bye to thepeople I had come to love so much

was more difficult than I had imag-

ined it would be

As I finished these calls I noticed

that the only one who had not

answered the phone was Sister Senba

I was sad I would not be able to say

good-bye to a member who had

become so close to my heart

The next morning two other mis-sionaries and I left for the airport

When we arrived at the ticket counter

and tried to buy tickets the work-

ers told us that our cards had been

declined We did not have any money

to pay for the tickets and the flight

was leaving in 10 minutes The three

of us were in a panic We were about

to miss the flight and be stranded at

the airport for the dayBut all of my panic turned to com-

fort when I turned around and saw

Sister Senba walk into the airport

I was shocked that she was there

because she hadnrsquot known what time

our flight was As she scrambled over

to us she smiled and gave us all bread

to bring onto the plane

As we explained to her that we

were going to miss our flight she

became saddened None of us knew

what to do Then Sister Senba began

rummaging through her purse look-

ing for something that could help us

She jumped happily into the air when

she found a small envelope in her

purse in which weeks ago she had

placed yen50000mdashthe exact amount of

money we needed She gave us the

At that moment I felt the Spirit

more strongly than I ever have before

Sister Senbarsquos example taught me how

important it is to follow the prompt-

ings of the Spiritmdashno matter how

small or strange the prompting might

seem Through these promptings we

have the power to change lives for

the better I know it was not a coinci-

dence that she came to the airport It

was a miracle

TRULY THE LORD USES SMALL MEANS TO

BRING ABOUT HIS WORK

money and we were able to get our

tickets in time We thanked her with

every ounce of gratitude our souls

could muster said good-bye and

rushed onto the plane After the plane took off my fellow

missionary turned to me and said

ldquoIsnrsquot she amazing That was

a miraclerdquo

I then realized how truly mirac-

ulous it really was He then said

ldquoWhat does your note sayrdquo I saw he

was reading a note that was with the

bread Sister Senba had given

him As I realized I had onetoo I pulled out the note

and read a small piece of

paper personally addressed

to me which immediately

made my eyes swell with

tears It said ldquoI love you

Please donrsquot forget me I

will never forget yourdquo

Truly the Lord uses small means to

bring about His work How blessed

we are as members of this Church to

have His influence in our lives Let

us all remain worthy to receive thesepromptings and bless the lives of the

children of God NE

Thomas E Robinson III lives in Utah USA

Editorrsquos note Sister Senba was promptly

reimbursed by the mission

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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When I got my first paycheck for my first real job (at a

sandwich shop) I rewarded myself with a shopping

spree I bought some music and a cute outfit After

spending every dollar Irsquod earned I thought about

my purchases

ldquoThere goes two whole weeks of workrdquo I

thought And a sick feeling started to grow inmy stomach

As I thought about all those hours of hard work mak-

ing sandwiches my superficial purchases hardly seemed

worth it I vowed to be more careful with my money

So from then on I saved every penny for college and a pos-

sible mission and never bought anything I wanted ever again

Yeah right

I was still a normal teenager who wanted stylish clothes

good music and fun activities with my friends But coming

from a big family I knew that if I wanted those things I wouldhave to save money to pay for them myself

It might sound impossible but I found ways to be finan-

cially prepared for the future and have fun at the same timemdash

even with a part-time job that didnrsquot pay very much Here are

some tips on how you can increase your ldquomoney smartsrdquo

10 N e w E r a

HOW TO BEMONEY SMART

By Arianne Cope

Y O U W O R K H A R D F O R Y O U R M O N E Y A fewi983149983152le 983152ri983150ci983152les c983137983150 983149983137ke your c983137sh 983143o further

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A BUDGET THAT WORKS

Yoursquove probably been told about budgets

from the day you earned your first nickel or

dime Thatrsquos because it really works A bud-get is a plan that will help you make the best

use of what you earn and save Herersquos one

way you can set up a budget of your own

1 Decide on a time frame for your budget

Most budgets plan for expenses monthly

2 Add up every dollar you plan to make

to figure out your expected income (Or

use last monthrsquos earnings for this monthrsquos

spending so you have an exact amount

available)

3 Calculate how much yoursquoll need to pay

for tithing along with any other offerings

you might want to give

4 Create a list of things you think yoursquoll pur-

chase throughout the month along with

how much theyrsquoll probably cost

5 Separate your needs from your wants

because yoursquoll want to spend your money

on needs first

6 Subtract the total cost of your needs from

your total income

7 Set aside a little money each month for

your wants

8 After paying for tithing and your imme-

diate needs put most of the money thatrsquos

left into savings Look to the future and set

a plan to save for college a mission (par-

ticularly young men) or other big things

Think about how much you need to save

every month to meet the financial goals

you have for those big things in the future

9 Remember that making your budget work

takes solid planning a strong commit-

ment and self-discipline Itrsquos tough but

itrsquos worth it

SHOPPING PRINCIPLES

If yoursquore like most teenagers yoursquore prob-

ably going to want to spend some of your

money at the mall at a store or online So

yoursquoll want to know some basic principles

about shopping before you go

bull Decide what yoursquore planning to buy

before you go shopping Then stick to

your plan and avoid the habit of buying

things on impulse

bull Buy something only if you really love it

Donrsquot let your friends a salesperson or an

advertisement talk you into buying some-

thing yoursquore not going to use often

bull Remember that the word sale doesnrsquot

always mean yoursquore getting a good deal

Look for the best quality at the lowest

price Sometimes that means paying a

little bit more for something that will last a

lot longer

bull Ask yourself if you can live without the

item Remember the old adage ldquoFix it up

wear it out make it do or do withoutrdquo

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 11

T H E B O O K O F M O R M O N

CONCERT

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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SOME FINAL TIPS

Just to finish here are some general

money-related guidelines to keep in mind

bull Keep track of your money and keep it in

a safe place

bull You canrsquot buy happiness but being will-

ing to share usually results in a smile

bull Avoid gambling of any kind

bull Be cautious of things that seem too good

to be truemdashthey usually are

The most important lesson about money

however is to keep in mind that wersquore not

here on earth to get rich or to have a lot of

fancy things Remember these truths from

the Doctrine and Covenants ldquoSeek not for

riches but for wisdom and behold the mys-

teries of God shall be unfolded unto you

and then shall you be made rich Behold he

that hath eternal life is richrdquo (DampC 67) NE

Arianne Cope lives in Utah USA

THE FUN STUFF

Herersquos a little-known fact a half-gallon

of ice cream from the grocery store tastes

almost as good as ice cream from an ice-cream shop Also a fact you can often buy

a half-gallon of ice cream for the same price

yoursquod pay for a single serving at an ice-

cream shop So if you need to save some

money suggest that your friends all split a

half-gallon from the store rather than spend-

ing a lot more at the ice-cream shop

And thatrsquos just one example of simple

money solutions You can be frugal in lots of

ways while still having a great time

bull Watch the newspaper or look online to

find free community or local events

bull If you want to see a movie go to a mati-

nee or a dollar theater for cheaper tickets

bull Plan ahead Make a list of ideas of free

things to do with your friends so you

wonrsquot rely on spending money to enter-

tain yourselves

bull Have fun outdoors without paying much

(if anything) Enjoy a campfire in the

canyon or on the beach or a free Frisbee

game at the parkmdashthey can be just

as much fun as going to a movie or a

concert

12 N e w E r a

FACT YOU CAN OFTEN BUY A HALF-GALLON OF

ICE CREAM FOR THE SAME PRICE YOUrsquoD PAY FOR A

SINGLE SERVING AT AN ICE-CREAM SHOP

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 13

3 Nephi 1815 20ndash21Jesus Christ taught the Nephites the importance of prayer

Editorrsquos note This page is not meant to be a com-

prehensive explanation of the selected seminary

scripture mastery verses only a starting point for

your own study

983148983141983155983156 983161983141 983138983141 983156983141983149983152983156983141983140

This is one of many scriptures

that teach how praying can help

us escape Satanrsquos temptations (see

also DampC 105 3112 and 6139)

Here are some other blessings thescriptures promise when you obey

the command to pray always What

blessings have you received

bull You will be worthy to stand in the

presence of God (see Luke 2136)

bull The Lord will consecrate your

efforts (see 2 Nephi 329)

bull The Spirit will be poured upon

you (see DampC 1938)

bull You will be given strength toendure (see DampC 88126)

bull Things will work out for your

good (see DampC 9024)

983152983154983137983161 983137983148983159983137983161983155

ldquoWe should be alone

with our Heavenly

Father at least two

or three times each

daymdashlsquomorning mid-day and eve-ningrsquo as the scripture indicates (Alma

3421) In addition we are told to

pray always (See 2 Ne 329 DampC

88126) This means that our hearts

should be full drawn out in prayer

unto our Heavenly Father continually

(See Alma 3427)rdquo

President Ezra Taft Benson (1899ndash1994) ldquoPray

Alwaysrdquo Ensign Feb 1990 2

L I N E U P O N L I N E

983159983144983137983156983155983151983141983158983141983154 983161983141 983155983144983137983148983148 983137983155983147

In the scriptures the Lord repeatedly

promises to answer our prayers if we

will but ask What can you learn from

these scriptures about how to ask and

receive answers What other scriptures

can you find that teach about this

bull James 15ndash6

bull 1 Nephi 1511

bull Enos 12ndash15

bull Mormon 921

bull DampC 810

bull DampC 4630ndash32

983159983144983145983139983144 983145983155 983154983145983143983144983156

ldquoHere the Savior

reminds us that faith

no matter how strong

it is cannot produce

a result contrary to the will of him

whose power it is The exercise of

faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is always

subject to the order of heaven to

the goodness and will and wisdom

and timing of the Lord That is why we cannot have true faith in the

Lord without also having complete

trust in the Lordrsquos will and in the

Lordrsquos timingrdquo

Elder Dallin H Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles ldquo lsquoFaith in the Lord Jesus Christrsquo rdquo

Ensign May 1994 100

983137983148983159983137983161983155 983145983150 983149983161 983150983137983149983141

Praying in Christrsquos name means

more than just ending our prayers

in the name of Jesus Christ The

Bible Dictionary teaches ldquoWe pray

in Christrsquos name when our mind isthe mind of Christ and our wishes

the wishes of Christmdashwhen His

words abide in us (John 157) We

then ask for things it is possible for

God to grant Many prayers remain

unanswered because they are not

in Christrsquos name at all they in no

way represent His mind but spring

out of the selfishness of manrsquos

heartrdquo (ldquoPrayerrdquo)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 1652

By ElderJoseacute L Alonso

Of the Seventy

LINKED PRAYERS COUNSELING WITH THE LORD

ldquoThere may be things in our character in our behavior or concerningour spiritual growth about which we need to counsel with HeavenlyFather in morning prayer After expressing appropriate thanks for

blessings received we plead for understanding direction and helpto do the things we cannot do in our own strength alone

ldquoAt the end of our day we kneel again and report back to our Father We reviewthe events of the day and express heartfelt thanks for the blessings and the helpwe received We repent and with the assistance of the Spirit of the Lord identifyways we can do and become better tomorrow Thus our evening prayer buildsupon and is a continuation of our morning prayer And our evening prayer also is apreparation for meaningful morning prayerrdquo

Elder David A Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles ldquoPray Alwaysrdquo Ensign Nov 2008 41ndash42

14 N e w E r a

When I was 15 I went

to live with my father

while I finished high

school He lived and

worked in another city and had joined

the Church I didnrsquot know he was

a member but I saw that he acted

differently He acted with love and

kindness and was interested in myconcerns and needs

The first night I arrived I was

so hungry We sat down for dinner

and I started to eat but my father

said ldquoWait a minute We need to

prayrdquo I said ldquoWe need to what rdquo I

didnrsquot even know what the word

pray meant My father explained

that he was going to thank God our

Heavenly Father for the food we

had received from Him and then

we could eat My father prayed

and in his prayer he mentioned myname and asked for God to bless

me I felt something wonderful That

was the first time I felt the Spirit so

strongly in my life

My father taught me to pray to

Heavenly Father on my own Later

when the missionaries taught me

about Joseph Smithrsquos prayer I imme-

diately felt that it was possible for the

Lord to answer the prayer of a young

man The missionaries asked me to

read the Book of Mormon and to pray

to know if Jesus is the Christ if JosephSmith was a prophet and if the Book

of Mormon is true

That night I read the story in

3 Nephi 11 of when Jesus visits the

Nephites I was in a private place

so I got down on my knees and I

prayed Even though I was only 15 I

had faith that the Lord would answer

my prayer I received an impression

in my mind as clear as anything Ihad ever seen that Jesus is the Christ

Joseph Smith was a prophet and

the Book of Mormon is true I felt

like Joseph Smith after that prayer

I was so happy to truly know that

Heavenly Father answers prayers

from young people

Irsquod Never PRAYED BEFORE

i983150 Th983137t W983137y

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 1752

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 15

WHAT KEPT ME STRONG

D983137ily P983137yer

As a teenager in an area with-

out a lot of Church members

I found that daily prayer was one

of the most important things that

helped me stay spiritually strong

I made sure to pray every day and

developed a pattern that helped

memdashmorning and evening prayers

When I heard

my father prayfor the rst timel felt something

wonderful

MORNING PRAYERS

Every morning I would share with

the Lord

bull My plans for the day

bull What I wanted to do

bull What I thought the Lord

wanted me to do

I would present my plans to

God and then ask for the Lordrsquos

help in accomplishing them

EVENING PRAYERS

Every evening I would

bull Report on how my day went

and if I had accomplished the

things I had set out to do

bull Share things that had been

difficult for me

bull Share things that I had learned

from people or through the

Spirit that dayThe more I prayed the more

I learned to understand and

receive impressions from the

Holy Ghost These impressions

helped me gain more strength

to follow the direction of the

Lord NE

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 1852

16 N e w E r a

With canteen in hand I was prepared for my

second 50-mile hike and campout in the

Uinta Mountains I was about as well pre-

pared as a 14-year-old could be My equip-

ment was all set to go my boots were sturdy and my pack

was full of all the essentials

The day of the hike arrived and our

leaders reminded our group of young men

that the mountains could be very danger-

ous Hikers and campers were often lost

in the rugged hills and on the numerous

trails We were warned not to wander

away from the path Our leadersmdashmy

father includedmdashall seemed concerned

for our safety and were anxious to keep

us from straying off of our chosen pathBeing one of the stronger hikers and

a leader in the group I soon found myself

and three other boys leading the way

Sometimes we waited for our group at the

forks in the trail to make sure we followed

the correct path and would not become lost

We hiked for hours laughing and joking all the way We

were having a great time Suddenly we heard frantic calls

and the sounds of running We knew something must have

gone wrong We wondered if maybe some of the grouphad become lost I was concerned for the friends Irsquod left

behind with the leaders Something bad must have happened

We stopped to listen so we could hear what the distant

voices were yelling We heard our names More specifically

I heard my name being called I recognized my fatherrsquos

voice We called back and heard their heavy footsteps coming

in our direction

Something bad had happened We learned that

four of the boys in our group had strayed from

the correct path and had become lost It was us

We were the ones who were lost My father was

thankful to have finally found us and together we

began the hike back to the correct trail

In my head I retraced my footsteps I couldnrsquot

figure out how Irsquod become lost I felt like I was

still on the original path Irsquod been so sure We

retraced our steps and my father showed us aturn we had missed It was just a small path with

a little hidden sign marking the correct way

We had hiked two miles off the right trail

We were thankful wersquod been found

before dark For the rest of the hike

we stayed close to our leaders and the rest of the

group and were never in danger again

Sometimes our overconfidence as youth

gives us an unrealistic sense of independence

We push on without consulting our parentsor leaders We fail to ask for advice We feel

By Duncan Anderson

Mile Hike

The

We stoppedto listen so we

could hear whatthe distant voices

were yellingWe heard ournames We

called back andheard their heavyfootsteps comingin our direction

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 1952

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 17

certain wersquore headed in a direction leading to the right

destination We laugh and joke and enjoy the path until itrsquos

too late too dark and wersquore lost

When it comes to choosing the right trails in life our

Heavenly Father has provided tools to guide us and keep us

on the path that leads to Him We have the scriptures prayer

and revelation our parents guidelines like For the Strength

of Youth and our Church leaders to guide us through the

countless options life offers

When we do stray off the path itrsquos often our loving parents

and dedicated leaders who come to the rescue They can

guide us back to the correct way and show us where we

went wrong Through repentance we can correct those

wrongs and start fresh on the right path headed toward the

destination that will give us eternal happiness and a life in the

presence of our Heavenly Father NE

Duncan Anderson lives in Utah USA

CHOOSING RIGHT PATHS

ldquoI plead with you to make a determi-nation right here right now notto deviate from the path which willlead to our goal eternal life with ourFather in Heaven Along that straight

and true path there are other goals missionaryservice temple marriage Church activity scripturestudy prayer temple work There are countless wor-thy goals to reach as we travel through life Neededis our commitment to reach themrdquo

President Thomas S Monson ldquoThe Three Rs of Choicerdquo

Ensign Nov 2010 68

NEED ADVICE

Is there anything yoursquod like advice on Donrsquot be afraid to ask your

parents or Church leaders Remember they are there to help you

no matter what yoursquod like to talk about

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2052

One of the things we agree

to do as part of the bap-

tismal covenant is ldquoto

stand as witnesses of

God at all times and in all things and in

all places that [we] may be inrdquo (Mosiah

189) And incidentally we renew this

covenant every week when we partake

of the sacramentIn the April 2014 general conference

several speakers reminded us that there

will be times when standing as a witness

of God will mean having to face oppo-

sition criticism and ridicule So what

should you do when yoursquore required

to take the uncomfortable uncool or

unpopular step of defending your beliefs

By David A Edwards

Church Magazines

Be brave and humble firm and gentle

all at the same time With the Lordrsquos

help itrsquos not as hard as it sounds

18 N e w E r a

of Defe983150di983150983143Your Beliefs

Dorsquos 983137983150d

Donrsquots

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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you should rely on the Spiritto guide your defense of your

faith Bear testimony by the

Spirit Thatrsquos the Lordrsquos way

(See also DampC 1005ndash8)

The point here is not that

you should avoid any discus-

sion in which people have dif-

fering points of view Rather it

has to do with your intent as

well as the emotions involved

We should seek understand-

ing and try to persuade withmeekess not just score points

and prove wersquore right and

someone else is wrong A

discussion where people are

getting really worked up and

angry is one you should either

try to soften or simply avoid

Heavenly Father has given

you the gift of the Holy Ghost

and you should take advan-

tage of this gift This doesnrsquot

mean reason and logic canrsquot

be inspired or confirmed by

the Spirit it just means that

Elder W Craig Zwick of

the Seventy has explained

this scripture this way ldquoA lsquosoft

answerrsquo consists of a reasoned

responsemdashdisciplined words

from a humble heart It does

not mean we never speak

directly or that we compro-

mise doctrinal truth Words

that may be firm in infor-

mation can be soft in spiritrdquo

(ldquoWhat Are You Thinkingrdquo

Ensign May 2014 42)

ldquoA SOFT ANSWER TURNETH AWAY

wr983137thBUT

GRIEVOUS WORDS stir u983152 983137983150983143errdquo

(Proverbs 151)

ldquoBeholdI send you forthas sheep in the

midst of wolves be ye therefore wise as serpents

and h983137r983149less as dovesrdquo

(Matthew 1016)

The Savior doesnrsquot want

you to be ignorant or naiumlve

but He also doesnrsquot want you

to attack anyone Knowing

what goes on in the world

doesnrsquot mean we have to

use its tactics

ldquoCONTEND AGAINST

NO CHURCHrdquo (DampC 1820)

There is no need to

criticize other churches

Positive statements of your

beliefs rather than negative

statements about others will

be most effective As the

Prophet Joseph Smith said

ldquoWe donrsquot ask any people

to throw away any good

they have got we only ask

them to come and get morerdquo

(Teachings of Presidents

of the Church Joseph

Smith [2007] 155)

ldquoAND THOUSHALT DECLARE

983143l983137d tidi983150983143s ldquoAND THOU SHALTDO IT WITH 983137ll hu983149ilityTRUSTING IN ME 983154evili983150983143 983150ot

AGAINST REVILERSrdquo

(DampC 1929ndash30)

The tidings you declare

are glad Remember that

and make sure your face and

your voice show it too Also

the word revile here means

to hurl abusive or insulting

language at a person So if

ldquoFOR I AM

NOT ASHAMED

OF THE GOSPEL OF CHRISTrdquo

(Romans 116)

As President Thomas S

Monson has said ldquoWe will all

face fear experience ridiculeand meet opposition Let

usmdashall of usmdashhave the courage

to defy the consensus the

courage to stand for prin-

ciple Courage not com-

promise brings the smile of

Godrsquos approvalrdquo (ldquoBe Strong

and of a Good Couragerdquo

Ensign May 2014 69)

The scriptures give you some basic principles for standing up for your faith including the following

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 19

ldquoWe s983152e983137k

NOT IN THE WORDS which 983149983137983150rsquos

WISDOM TEACH ETH

but which THE HOLY GHOST

TEACHETHrdquo

(1 Corinthians 213)

ldquoHE THATHATH THE

SPIRIT OF CONTENTIONIS NOT OF ME

BUT ISOF THE DEVIL

WHO IS THE FATHER OFCONTENTION AND

HE STIRRETH UPTHE HEARTS

OF MEN

TO CONTEND WITH ANGER

ONE WITH ANOTHERrdquo(3 Nephi 1129)

HERErsquoS SOME ADVICE FROM THE SCRIPTURES

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2252

How Do You Defend Do you have experi-ence in defending yourbeliefs Or do you haveideas to add to theselists Go to ldsorggodefendNE8 and share

Finding Courage

Read more on this topic atldsorggocourageNE8

someonersquos doing that to you

donrsquot retaliate and do the

same thing back to them The

Apostle Peter taught that the

Savior Himself gave the exam-

ple you should follow in thisregard (see 1 Peter 223)

ldquoLOVE YOUR ENEMIESbless them

that curse you

DO GOOD TO T HEMTHAT HATE YOU

and pray for

them which

DESPITEFULLY USE YOUAND PERSECUTE YOUrdquo

(Matthew 544)ldquoSEE THAT YE ARE NOT lifted u983152 u983150to

983152ride ye983137 SEE THAT YE DO

NOT BOAST IN YOUR

OWN WISDOM

983150or of your 983149uch stre983150983143thldquoUSE BOLDNESS

BUT NOT

OVERBEARANCErdquo (Alma 3811ndash12)

Here the word tenets

refers to opinions or teachings

that go beyond the basics So

the Lord is saying to stick to

the basic message of the gos-

pel when yoursquore declaring Hisglad tidings This also applies

to defending your faith

You donrsquot need to stray into

detailed discussions about

every little thing related to the

Church As Elder Richard G

Scott of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles has said

ldquoKeep your sharing of the

gospel simple rdquo (ldquo lsquoI HaveGiven You an Examplerdquo

Ensign May 2014 34)

ldquoEveryone independent

of his or her decisions and

beliefs deserves our kind-

ness and considerationrdquo said

Elder Neil L Andersen of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles ldquoThe Savior

taught us to love not only

our friends but also those

who disagree with usmdashand

even those who repudiate

usrdquo (ldquoSpiritual Whirlwindsrdquo

Ensign May 2014 20)

Again be humble Itrsquos not

about you or how smart and

capable you are Also you can

be bold without making over-

blown statements or being

a verbal or intellectual bully

As Elder Jeffrey R Holland

of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoYou willone day find yourself called

upon to defend your faith

Such moments will require

both courage and courtesy

on your partrdquo (ldquoThe Costmdashand

Blessingsmdashof Discipleshiprdquo

Ensign May 2014 6)

ldquoA983150d of te983150ets thou sh983137lt 983150ot t983137lk but thou shalt

declare repentance andfaith on the Savior and 983154e983149issio983150 of si983150sby baptism and by fire

yea even the Holy Ghostrdquo(DampC 1931)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2352

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2452

22 N e w E r a

I received my first two-wheel bicycle

when I was eight years old With

the help of my older brother and

father I began the rather scary pro-

cess of figuring out how to ride it The other kids in the neighborhood

made it look so easy and natural as

they zoomed up and down the street

on their bikes I perched on the bike

seatmdashwhich seemed to be at least

10 feet (3 m) above the groundmdashand

realized there was absolutely noth-

ing to keep me from falling over and

proving that the law of gravity was

alive and well As I tried riding I learned quickly

that if I wanted to stay balanced I had

to keep pedaling When I first sat on

the seat speed was the last thing I

wanted to add to the already daunting

equation But I very soon understood

the wisdom and the physics involved

in moving forward As long as I kept

pedaling I could stay upright and

avoid the rough concrete just waiting

to take the skin off my arms and legs

Soon I was zipping around the neigh-

borhood with my friends

Defy Gr983137vity Defy Gr983137vity

of the First Presidency as outlined

in that booklet our lives will be bal-

anced and steady We will be led

where we want to go

We need to keep moving forwardto avoid falling To do that we should

consistently and faithfully do certain

actions

bull Pray morning and night

bull Study the scriptures daily

bull Attend Church meetings and par-

take of the sacrament worthily

bull Serve those around us

bull Be worthy to attend the temple

All of these actions keep us moving

forward in the right direction

Thatrsquos why reading and being famil-

iar with the standards described in For

the Strength of Youth will help ensure

we are making choices consistent with

Godrsquos standards Living these princi-

ples and keeping the commandments

F O R T H E S T R E N G T H O F Y O U T H

By Bonnie LOscarson

Young WomenGeneral President

As you keep moving forward you can stay upright even

when outside forces try to pull you down

Just as those who keep

pedaling a bike can stay

upright despite gravityrsquos

influence those who are

guided by the Holy Spirit in

all they do can withstand

the influence of theadversary

So it is with living the gospel and

the standards in For the Strength of

Youth It takes faith to believe that if

we consistently follow the counsel

GO FORWARD WITH FAITH

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 23

invite the Holy Ghost to be our con-

stant companion Just as those who

keep pedaling a bike can stay upright

despite gravityrsquos influence those who

are guided by the Holy Spirit in allthey do can withstand the influence of

the adversary

What are the destinations you have

in mind as you pedal forward For all

young men of the Aaronic Priesthood

preparing now for a full-time mission

is important in forward growth For

all youth being prepared to go to the

temple and receive the endowment by

making and keeping sacred covenantsshould also be a primary goal

As the message from the First

Presidency at the beginning of For the

Strength of Youth says ldquoIn all that you

do stay focused on the temple In the

temple you will receive the greatest

of all the Lordrsquos blessings including

marriage for time and all eternityrdquo1

Receiving the covenant of eternal

marriage in the house of the Lord and

becoming righteous husbands wives

fathers and mothers may seem far

down the road but the time to beginpreparing is now All of these things

lead to the most glorious and grand

destination of allmdasheternal life with

our Heavenly Father

One of my favorite scriptures

sums up what we need to do in order

to keep moving toward our goals

ldquoWherefore ye must press forward

with a steadfastness in Christ hav-

ing a perfect brightness of hopeand a love of God and of all men

Wherefore if ye shall press forward

feasting upon the word of Christ and

endure to the end behold thus saith

the Father Ye shall have eternal liferdquo

(2 Nephi 3120)

Just as I learned as an eight-year-

old girl that I needed to keep pedaling

and moving forward in order to defy

gravity and keep my balance on my

bicycle it is important for all of us to

keep moving forward with faith trust-

ing in the counsel of living prophetsand a loving Heavenly Father to keep

us from falling Some of our destina-

tions are just down the road while

others will take a lifetime of faithful

living to achieve The promises of

what lies at the end of the road if we

are faithful are certain and glorious

and well worth the ride NE

NOTE

1 For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

Learn MoreSee whatrsquos next in your covenant path

at ldsorggocovenantNE8

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2652

24 N e w E r a

BOA R D

GA M E S

B y Da vid Chris tensen

My chance to play le f t

a lasting impact but it

wasnrsquot what Irsquod e xpected

L o s i n

g s o

q u i c k

l y w

a s b

a d e

n o u

g h

b

u t t o

m a k

e m

a t t e r s

w o r s e

t h

e o t h

e r g

u y

s s t a r t e

d t o

m a k

e

f u n

o f

m e

I

t r i e d

t o c o

n t i n

u e

p l a y i n g

e v e

n t h

o u

g h

t h e y

w e r

e b

e i n

g m

e a n

b

u t i t

w a s h

a r d t o h o

l d b

a c k m y t e

a r s

o f f r u s t

r a t i o n

U

n f o

r t u n a t e l y

o n e t e

a r t r i c k l e

d d

o w

n m y

c h e e

k b

e f o

r e I

c o u

l d w i p

e i t

a w a y M

y b

r o t h

e r

s a w i t

a n d

t e a s e

d m

e t o

o

I c o

u l d

n rsquo t

t a k e i t

a n y

m o r e

a n d

r a n t o

m y

r o o m

I g a v e m y s e l

f a q u i c k p i n

c h

t o m a k e s u r

e I w a s n rsquo

t d r e a m i n g

a n d t h e

n I v o i c e d

a t i m i d ldquo Y e

a h

s u r e rdquo I s t

i l l c o u l d

n rsquo t b e l i e

v e t h a t

m y b r o t h e

r h a d i n v

i t e d m e t o

p l a y a g a m e w i t h

t h e ldquo b i g k i

d s rdquo

A f t e r a l l

I rsquo d b e e n t o l d f o r t h

r e e

y e a r s t h a

t I w a s s t i l l

t o o y o u

n g

t o p l a y m o r e d i f fi

c u l t b o a

r d

g a m e s w i t h m y b r o

t h e r a n d

h i s f r i e n d s

A N D B R O

T H

E R S

I

felt the hot tears of anger slowly slide

down my face I wiped them away with

my hand but I could still feel the

slightly salty taste on my lips assobs of anguish began to pour out

I just wanted to hang out with my

brother Why couldnrsquot he be my

friend too

J u s t a f e w

h o u r s

b e f o

r e I h a d

s t a r e d a t

m y o

l d e r b

r o t h

e r S t e v e

i n c o

m p

l e t e s u r p

r i s e

w a i t i n

g f o r h

i m t o

t e

l l

m e t h

a t h e w

a s o n

l y

j o k i n g ldquo W

e l l d o y o

u

w a n

t t o p

l a y rdquo S t e v e

a s k e d i m p

a

t i e n t l y

I w

e n t i n t o t h e

r o o m w h

e r e t h e

o l d e r b o y s

w e r e

s e t t i n g u p

t h e b o a r d

g a m e A s t h e

g a m e s t a r t e d

w i t h

e v e r y o n e s t r a t e g i c a l l y

p l a c i n g

t h e i r g a m

e

p i e c e s

I f e l t l i k e

I w

a s d r e a

m i n g F o r

t h e fi r s t t i m

e

I f e l t e q u a l t o

m y b r o t h e r mdash

n o t l i k e I

w a s j u s t h i s

t a g a l o n g

T h e d r e a m

e n d e d q u i c k

l y h o w e v e r

T h e

g a m e w

a s t o u g h

a n d m y i n

e x p e r i e n c e

a n d l a c k

o f k n o w l e d g e

b e c

a m e

p a i n f u l l y o b v i o u s

a s t h e o t

h e r

p l a y e r s q u i c k l y

a n d

s o u n d l y d e f e a t e d

m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2752

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2852

26 N e w E r a

Le983137r983150i983150983143 the i983150s 983137983150d outs of d983137ti983150983143 c983137983150 be h983137rd Let this course tur983150 you

i983150to 983137 d983137ti983150983143 983152ro

By Matthew ORichardson

Served as Second

Counselor in theSunday SchoolGeneral Presidencyfrom 2009 to 2014

hile speaking to youth about how to prepare for a celestial marriage

President Thomas S Monson emphasized that ldquoproper dating is a part

of preparation for marriagerdquo 1 Have you thought much about happy

relationships Elder Russell M Nelson of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said a ldquocelestial marriage brings greater possibilities for happiness than

does any other relationshiprdquo2

When I was serving as bishop in a young single adult ward I worried about those

who approached dating with very little purpose understanding or direction This

caused me to wonder if my own children would be any different when their time came

My wife and I decided to help our children prepare for ldquoproper datingrdquo and happy rela-tionships by creating the Richardson Dating Academy or RDA as our children call it

It wasnrsquot long after we started the RDA that friends of our children wanted to partici-

pate and even become RDA graduates So how about you Are you ready to become a

dating academy graduate yourself Class is in session

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 27

Lesso983150 1 ur983152oses 983137983150d St983137983150d983137rds of D983137ti983150983143

Lesso983150 2 W983137tch 983137983150d Le983137r983150

Homework

As you know ldquodatingrdquo means different things to differ-

ent people Your first assignment is to figure out just what

a ldquodaterdquo is according to Church standards Can you explain

the purposes of dating and the specific dating standards and

guidelines set by the Church Or do you know when itrsquosmost appropriate to be involved in dating and steady dating

(having a boyfriend or girlfriend)

You can find answers to these questions in the ldquoDatingrdquo

section of For the Strength of Youth The First Presidency

reminds us why knowing and understanding these stan-

dards are so important They promise ldquoThe standards in this

Elder Jeffrey R Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles once explained that most athletic contests have ldquolines

drawn on the floor or the field within which every participant

must stay in order to competerdquo3 Success depends on how

well a competitor knows and stays within the set boundaries

Likewise itrsquos important to know the ldquodating linesrdquo or the pur-

poses and standards of dating as taught by Church leaders

One of the most com-

mon ways people learn

is by watching others

Dating is no different

In the dating academy

we spend time observ-

ing others in dating

situations In our family

we learned many point-ersmdashsome to do others

to avoidmdashby watching

dates in progress at

restaurants and other

settings Yes we went to

certain places with the

sole purpose to observe

dates for ldquoclassrdquo

booklet will help you with the important choices you are

making now and will yet make in the futurerdquo4

Now that you have a solid foundation of the stan-

dards and purposes of dating (you did do your home-

work and read that section didnrsquot you) itrsquos time to move

on to lesson 2

Tips

Here are some suggestions that will help you learn

as you observe

bull Watch but donrsquot be creepy This is about learning from

others but not stalking staring or even judging Look for

things you like and things you would like to avoid

bull Go to a variety of places and settings to observe others

Not every date is the same nor should it be Watch how thesetting affects the experience

bull Watch how people interact with each other Can you tell

who is with whom Are they paying attention to each

other In what ways Are they talking with each other Do

they look like they enjoy being with each other How can

you tell if they are having fun

bull Talk with a parent leader or good friends and share what

you noticed and what you learned

Homework

The next time you go

out to eat attend a movie

or go to almost any activ-

ity make an effort to look

around and see how other

people are interacting It

may surprise you to see

how much dating is actu-ally going on Take the

time to learn from those

around you by paying

attention to whatrsquos work-

ing and what isnrsquot

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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28 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 3 l983137983150983150i983150983143 983137 D983137te

Tips

bull Start planning early

bull Donrsquot be afraid to bounce ideas off your friendsparents and others They can provide excellent

suggestions that you havenrsquot even thought about

bull Make sure you let your budget amount of time

available the reasons for dating and Church stan-

dards guide your planning

bull Think of what you hope will happen during the

date from beginning to end This helps you realize

what needs to be done to make the date a success

bull Pay attention to details Call ahead for event times

prices menus and what the proper dress is for

the occasion

bull Plan for emergencies For example what will you

do if you donrsquot have enough money or have car

trouble What if your date gets sick

Homework

Rather than leaving everything to chance dating acad-

emy grads understand what needs to happen and theyplan accordingly

Your homework assignment even if yoursquore years away

from dating is to practice planning an event You can

brainstorm with friends really fun ideas for a date Then

work together to think of what planning is required to

make those ideas actually happen Or you can ask your

parents to let you plan the next family outing

You might choose a place to eat or what to do Plan all

the details (event times travel time cost backup plans)

and then put your plan into action You could evencome up with a dating plan complete with backup ideas

if something goes wrong and share it in family home

evening while talking together around the dinner table

or with friends You may find that properly planning an

activity is almost as much fun as the actual date

The quality of experience yoursquoll have with others is

often determined by what happens before a date begins

Showing up on your datersquos doorstep with no plan is a

recipe for an awkward experience Nobody likes playing

the ldquoWhat do you want to dordquo game

Yoursquore better than that With a little practice you can

become a date-planning champion And young women

no fair skipping this section While most of the time young

men plan and ask for dates yoursquoll still want to have these

skills down for when itrsquos your turn

Group Date IdeasNeed ideas Check out ldsorggoideasNE8 Some

of the youth activities there could be adapted for dates

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Homework

In the Richardson Dating Academy all of our

children practiced dating invitations For example

our children might call an aunt older sibling or other

family member to practice inviting someone on a

date Or our son or daughter would receive an invita-

tion from a family member and practice responding

They learned how to deal with rejection acceptance

or even a disinterested response or two

Now itrsquos your turn Working with your parents ask

them to line up somebody in your family you can call

and practice inviting on a date Make sure you do this

more than once

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 29

You know your dating standards front and back

yoursquove watched others in dating situations and

yoursquove come up with a solid date plan

Congratulations Now you still need to invite

someone Or you need to know how to respond

when you are invited So whatrsquos the best way A

phone call Ask in person Here are some different

points to consider

Lesso983150 4 I983150viti983150983143 Others 983137983150d Bei983150983143 I983150vited

Tips

bull Be ready to give details when you invite

someone on a date Talk about what you have

planned start and end times whorsquos participat-ing and how they should dress (casual dressy

etc) Your excellent planning from academy

lesson 3 makes this part of the academy easy

bull Therersquos a time to talk by phone and a time to

ask face-to-face The more important the event

is the more personal the invitation should be

Donrsquot be afraid to skip technology and actually

talk with someone

bull Some events may require you to speak with

your datersquos parents first This shows respectand courtesy

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30 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 5 O983150 the D983137te

It would be impossible for any dating academy to cover

every little thing to consider or plan for in dating So much

depends on good judgment communication with your par-

ents and listening to the Spirit

Still here are a few key points you might want to brush

up on before putting your date plan into action

Tips

bull Develop a ldquoyou firstrdquo attitude This means you always

think of your date first Is he or she having fun Is he or

she comfortable

bull Make sure you dress appropriately for the occasion

The way you dress usually communicates how you feelabout others and about the event Know the difference

between casual (but never sloppy) semiformal and

formal and when it would be appropriate to dress in

those ways

bull Show common courtesy by opening doors saying

thank you talking less about yourself and more about

your date and extending sincere compliments

bull Learn how to navigate restaurants Know how to make

a reservation get a table calculate a service tip and

pay the bill

Homework

Once again the best way to learn any good skill is by practic-

ing it Our youth enjoyed role-playing different situations

to think about how to act most appropriately We

also loved going out to eat as part of the dating acad-

emy experience Our children learned how to act in

a restaurant order a meal calculate the tip and paythe bill by actually doing it when they were with us

Look for opportunities to practice skills you should use on a

date For example the next time you and your family go some-

where ask your parents to let you purchase the tickets order

the meal or calculate the tip Treat your family or friends with

the same respect and courtesy that you should show others on a

date Open doors for your family be the first to say ldquothank yourdquo

and pay attention so you are part of the conversation

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 31

Lesso983150 6 The Doorste983152

NOTES

1 Thomas S Monson ldquoPreparation BringsBlessingsrdquo Ensign May 2010 64

2 Russell M Nelson ldquoCelestial Marriagerdquo Ensign Nov 2008 93

3 Jeffrey R Holland ldquoWe Are All Enlistedrdquo Ensign Nov 2011 45

4 ldquoMessage to the Youth from The First Presi-dencyrdquo For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

5 John Bytheway ldquoWhat Do Kisses Meanrdquo New Era Oct 2004 38ndash41

Last but not least dating

academy graduates know how

to conclude a date on the right

note Nothing sours a great date

more than a bad ending

Herersquos how you can finish a

date with success

Tips

bull Express gratitude Be sincere

and to the point If there was something you especially

liked tell your date what

it was

bull Therersquos no reason for drag-

ging things on at this point

Yoursquove already spent plenty

of time together Avoid the

ldquodoorstep shufflerdquo When

people arenrsquot sure what to

say they tend to shuffle backand forth or move their feet

in place If you find yourself

ldquoshufflingrdquo in place itrsquos a

pretty good signal that you

need to say good-bye

bull Know and follow the

Churchrsquos counsel on kissing

and physical intimacy (You

might also want to read John

Bythewayrsquos article ldquoWhat Do

Kisses Meanrdquo5 at ldsorggo

kissesNE8)

Homework

Yes herersquos another opportunity for practicing Our family has spent several family

home evenings role-playing doorstep good-byes Itrsquos been both helpful and fun to

watch an older sibling coach the younger sibling with dorsquos and donrsquots

Most memorable was an older sister showing how she could turn a hug into a

handshake with the grace of a princess and the speed of a ninja You too can get

together with family members and role-play different scenarios that might happen on

a doorstep We guarantee itrsquoll be an academy night yoursquoll all remember

Gr983137du983137tio983150

If yoursquove studied all the

material worked on the tips done

the homework and talked through

the lessons with your parents and

family you too can become a

dating academy graduate

As you continue strengthening

these important skills yoursquoll find

support strength and power that

will bless your relationships both

now and in the future You will be

better prepared for happiness NE

Do Try This at HomeInterested in having a dating academy at

home Let your parents know therersquos an RDAarticle for them in this monthrsquos Ensign or atldsorggoRDA

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32 N e w E r a

S U N DA Y L E S S

O N S

This Monthrsquos Topic

Ma r r iage a nd

Fa m i l y

MARRIAGE IS WORTH ITldquoIt is so rewarding to bemarried Marriage is wonder-ful In time you begin to thinkalike and have the same ideasand impressions You havetimes when you are extremelyhappy times of testing andtimes of trial but the Lordguides you through all ofthose growth experiencestogetherrdquo

Elder Richard G Scott of the

Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo

Ensign May 2011 96

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 33

We love being marr ied and he

rersquos why

By Ben and Rachel Nielsen

Letrsquos face it girls (and boys) itrsquos nice to know that someone loves you

And when yoursquore married you have chances to share and receive love every

day When I was talking to my parents about the possibility of marrying

Ben my dad said ldquoWhomever you choose to marry I want him to fre-

quently and sincerely express his love for you like Elder Richard G Scott did

for his wiferdquo3 I listened to Dad

I decided to marry Ben and he has always made an effort to express

his love to me in small and big ways During my senior year of college I

worked for months to prepare apply and interview for a prestigious intern-ship And when I finally heard that I got the job I came home and saw a

vase full of flowers from my husband He knew how hard I had worked and

how much the internship meant to me At other times hersquoll hide my favorite

drink and a love note in the fridge before he heads out for a weekend Scout

camp And every day hersquoll do the dishes and make me laugh Ben is great at

expressing his love for me and that brings both of us great joy

During my mission in Brazil I grew to love soccer One thing that I lovemost about this sport is having teammates and learning how to work together

with my team Rachel is a fantastic teammate She helps me achieve my

goals joins me in making important decisions and is there for me when I

have trouble

When we were sealed in the temple we promised to ldquohelp one another as

equal partnersrdquo2 Rachel and I strive to support each other in everything we

do and itrsquos great to know that I always have a reliable teammate

After our first date we both

knew we wanted to go

on a second date Ben

wanted to go on

another date because Rachel was

friendly and fun to talk to Rachel

wanted to go on another date

because Ben was a gentleman

and was still smiling after all of

his well-laid plans fell through

After the second date plus manymore dates and prayers after

that we fell in love and decided

to get married in the Sacramento

California Temple

The wedding day was abso-

lutely perfect and we have loved

being married ever since The

world may see marriage differ-

ently but we know that ldquono other

relationship of any kind canbring as much joy generate as

much good or produce as much

personal refinementrdquo1 Marriage

is awesome and herersquos why

FROM BEN A T e a m m a t e

FROM RACHEL

E x p r e s s i o n s o f L o v e

WHY MARRIAGE IS

A w e s o m e

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34 N e w E r a

JOIN THE CONVERSATION

Things to Ponder for Sunday

bull What qualities and attitudes make for the strongest

and happiest marriages and families

bull What are you doing now that will help your future

marriage and family stay strong and happy

Things You Might Do

bull Share with some friends your goal of marrying and

having a family and tell them why

bull In church share why you are looking forward

to marriage and family and how you are pre-

paring for them

serving in the Church and inviting others to come unto

Christ As we work together to build the kingdom of God

we grow closer our love deepens and life is more fulfilling

Dating Rachel is so much fun In fact we make surethat we still frequently go on dates even as a married

couple After we first met we found that we enjoy many

of the same activities walking through parks attending

plays watching sporting events eating new and different

food listening to music and so much more I loved doing

these things before I met Rachel but theyrsquore even more

fun now that we get to share them together When yoursquore

married you have someone to enjoy life withmdashand that

makes life awesome

Before I met Ben I was nearing the age of missionary

service and had seriously considered serving a full-time

mission But then Ben entered my life and I knew that

Heavenly Father had a different plan for me

When Ben and I got engaged relatives who knew

about my thoughts to serve a mission asked me about my

choice and I would tell them ldquoI decided that I wanted topick my own missionary companionmdashand stay with him

for eternityrdquo

When yoursquore married you and your spouse have the

chance to participate in the work of salvation together

Ben and I have found great joy in building a Christ-

centered home studying and living the gospel together

Despite what the world may say marriage is awesome

and is worth making a priority When yoursquore married you

have a teammate you give and receive love you enjoy life

more fully and you have someone to build the kingdom

of God with All of that brings us great joy and because

we were sealed in the temple we can have this joy forever

If we keep our covenants we will be together for eternityand receive the crowning blessings of the priesthood We

ldquohave found in marriage the richest fulfillment of human

existencerdquo 4 NE

Ben and Rachel Nielsen live in Utah USA

NOTES

1 L Whitney Clayton ldquoMarriage Watch and Learnrdquo Ensign May 2013 83 2 ldquoThe Family A Proclamation to the Worldrdquo Ensign Nov 2010 129 3 See Richard G Scott ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo Ensign May

2011 96 4 James E Faust ldquoEnriching Your Marriagerdquo Ensign Apr 2007 6

FROM BEN M o r e E n jo y m e n t

FROM RACHEL A n E t e r n a l M is s i o n a r y C o m p a n io n

TAKE IT FROM US

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Your family can help unite the family of GodYou can all share the gospel in natural and pleasant ways

P H O T O I L L U S T R A T I O N B Y D A V I D S T O K E R

M O R M O N A D

(See M Russell Ballard ldquoPut Your Trust in the Lordrdquo Ensign Nov 2013 43)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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36 N e w E r a

By Alex Larsen

I always knew I wanted to be a mother but when I was grow-

ing up it wasnrsquot always on my mind When my fianceacute and I

were engaged one day I was talking with one of my college

professorsmdasha woman I greatly admiredmdashabout my engage-

ment She said something that brought my life choices into sharp

focus ldquoYou are wasting your talentrdquo she told me as she shook

her head She went on to say that someone as smart as I was

should not get married young She assumed I would have chil-

dren in my future and would be ldquothrowing awayrdquo my education

and chances of a stellar career on my future motherhood I could

tell by the way she looked at me that she thought I was making

a terrible and naiumlve mistake

Itrsquos been several years since that conversation and my hus-

band and I have two little girls Kate is three years old and is

my little sweetheart She moves through life at a leisurely pace

savoring all of the little details she notices Annabel is one yearold with bright blue eyes and a head of curls Shersquos exuberant

and determined Though I didnrsquot change my mind because of

what my professor said our discussion has stayed with me In

one way my professorrsquos predictions were correct I do not have

a prestigious working career But my professor got the most

important point wrong because I have wasted nothing

g i v i n

g u p e v e r y

t hi n g

but wh a t

I

g a i n ed

w as w o r t h so much m o r e

T h e wor l d t o l d me

I w ould

b e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 37

their spirits growing and developing I remember

the first time Kate pointed to a picture of the Savior and

said ldquoJesusrdquo I knew then that what I was doing was eter-

nally significant in the lives of my children

The world often tells us that lifersquos rewards come in

the form of status money or grand accomplishments

but I know therersquos great satisfaction even in the small

acts of changing diapers or wiping sticky fingers Every

little thing I do as a mother is part of helping to build the

kingdom of God by nurturing His children I always knew

I wanted children but it was not until I held my first baby

in my arms that I began to realize how much my heart

was capable of loving

The love I have for my daughters has helped me bet-

ter understand how much my Heavenly Father loves all

of His children When speaking of little children Jesustaught that ldquoof such is the kingdom of heavenrdquo (Matthew

1914) More than anything motherhood has helped me

to grow as a daughter of God because now I know what

a daughter of God looks like from the eyes of a parent

The world makes us think that a woman loses herself in

motherhoodmdashshe loses her body her free time and her

career But I have found myself in motherhood I feel

more beautiful and more valuable than ever before NE

Alex Larsen lives in California USA

I love the opportunity to stay home and care for my

young children because these are the most formative

years of their lives I have the opportunity to create a rich

home environment for my girls by reading and discussing

things with them as part of our everyday life Kate will

often astound me by remembering and commenting on

something wersquod read in a book several weeks before and

Annabel learns a new skill almost every day But as fun

and important as it is to watch them learn new

information and skills I feel the

most satisfied when I see

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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38 N e w E r a

One o f t h e g r e a t e s t ad v enture s o f y o u r l i f e w i l l b e y our rol e a n d c a l l i n g a s a f a t her

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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ROcksROcksROcks

NOTE

1 See Thomas S Monson ldquoWelcome to Conferencerdquo Ensign Nov 2012 4ndash5

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 39

DA D D A DD AD

By Chris Deaver

W

hen I was younger I loved spending time

with my dad He always knew the bestgames to play the best stories to tell at night

and the most interesting sports to try It was

like he was born to be a great dad

Fast-forward my life to when I married my sweetheart

Julia and then even further to the moment that our first

child Daniel was born I was filled with a rush of emo-

tions I was happy shocked amazed and a little scared

I felt totally inadequate to be a father and to have the

responsibility of teaching and being an example to my son

But I quickly realized that Irsquod been preparing all my life tobe a dad When I held my son in my arms for the first time

and looked down into his face I felt the Spirit touch my

heart and I realized that I was ready to try to be a great

dad just like my own dad was to me

When Daniel was very young he already had a great

sense of humor He learned to tell hilarious jokes that

would make my wife and me laugh He also often said

things that inspired us Shortly after hearing President

Thomas S Monson announce the change in age require-

ments for young men and young women preparingto serve missions1 we were driving in the car Daniel

announced that he would start preparing himself right

then at age six so he would have 12 years of preparation

Then he said with a smile ldquoDad can I change the song

from lsquoI Hope They Call Me on a Missionrsquo to lsquoI AM Going on

a Missionrsquordquo It was awesome

WHYbeing a

Three years after Daniel was born he was followed by his

brother Austin For me as a dad itrsquos been great to watch bothboys become best friends And Austin has been just as fun

as Daniel in his own way He enjoys building and destroying

block towers and one of his favorite activities is to fearlessly

wrestle me as if I stand no chance against his four-year-old

powers Of course I give in and let him winmdashso I guess I

reinforce his belief But itrsquos so much fun I know hersquoll be a

great wrestler but what I want most is for him to wrestle

ldquoagainst the rulers of the darkness of this worldrdquo and ldquoagainst

spiritual wickednessrdquo like it says in the scriptures (Ephesians

612) And I hope Irsquom helping to prepare him to do that We just recently had our third child a baby girl named

Faith During the delivery my wife was having some com-

plications and we were scared for our baby I gave Julia

a blessing Then she asked me to sing to her The Spirit

brought peace to both of us Soon baby Faith came safely

into the world It was a miracle and she definitely lived up

to her name Faithrsquos beautiful smile brightens my life I canrsquot

express in words how much she means to me

For any young man still wondering let me tell you You

were born to be a great dad The world may not agree butfatherhood is the best Someday yoursquoll find that your kids

inspire you too and that being a dad is the greatest adven-

ture of your life Yes itrsquos a duty and something you need to

take seriously but being a dad is unlike anything else NE

Chris Deaver lives in Florida USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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40 N e w E r a

We always seem to be encouraged to read more

because well everyone knows that reading is a

good thing But not all books are worth reading and just

because sexual material is written about rather than pho-

tographed or video recorded doesnrsquot mean that itrsquos less

morally hazardous Making a common display of a sacred

intimacy thatrsquos intended to only be part of a marriage rela-

tionship is wrongmdashwhether in words or imagesIf something yoursquore reading contains explicit sexual

descriptions that imprint themselves on your mind and

arouse sexual feelings in the same way that looking at

pornographic images would then guess what Itrsquos pornog-

raphy Remember the counsel in For the Strength of Youth

ldquoChoose wisely when using media because whatever you

read listen to or look at has an effect on you Select only

media that uplifts yourdquo ([2011] 11) NE

T O T H E P O I N T

President Boyd K

Packer President of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoEach

of us must come to ourown personal testimony

of the Lord Jesus Christ

We then share that testi-

mony with our family and

othersrdquo1 It can sometimes

be easy to question the

depth of your testimony

I know looking at pornographic

pictures is wrong but whatabout reading books with

ldquoromanticrdquo scenes

If I donrsquot have a burning

desire to share thegospel does that mean I

donrsquot have a testimony

when you compare your-

self to people like Brigham

Young who once said ldquoI

wanted to thunder and

roar out the gospel to thenations It burned in my

bones like fire pent uprdquo2

So what if you donrsquot feel

fire in your bones

Hopefully your lack of

desire doesnrsquot come from

a lack of concern for your

fellowmen As your faith in

Jesus Christ grows so does

your love of all people a

love that is a mark of the

true followers of Christ (see

Moroni 748 John 1335)

Itrsquos likely however

that your hesitancy sim-

ply comes from fear and

anxiety about speaking toothers For many people

such feelings can be over-

whelming Even prophets

have had doubts about their

ability to speak to people

(see Exodus 410 Moses

631) They of course

had no reason to question

their testimoniesmdashand

neither should you if you

are studying the scriptures

pondering praying fasting

repenting and doing all the

other things that help bring

the Spirit into your life

If you feel you just

need a little extra cour-age to share the gos-

pel visit ldsorggo

shareNE8 for ideas NE

NOTES

1 Boyd K Packer ldquoThe Witnessrdquo Ensign May 2014 96

2 Teachings of Presidents ofthe Church Brigham Young (1997) viii

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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C O M E F O L L O W M E

Family

983152983137tter983150 of

President Boyd K PackerPresident of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

April 2014 general conference

The ultimate end

of all activity in

the Church is that

a man and his wife

and their childrencan be happy

at home

The FamilyYoursquoll be studying about the family in your Sunday classes

this month As you study and discuss family you may pon-der these questions Why do Church leaders emphasize

family so much What is the place of family in Heavenly

Fatherrsquos plan How does family help make us happy

To find some answers to these questions see the

family proclamation near the back of your Personal

Progress or Duty to God booklet or online at ldsorg

gofamilyNE8 Yoursquoll also find teachings about

family relationships in general conference talks at

conferenceldsorg

Give yourself an easy reminder to prepare for your

Sunday lessons on the family Just place these cards

in your scriptures locker or bedroom You can also

download or share them online at ldsorggocardsNE8 B A C K G R O U N D T E X T U R E

B Y I S T O C K P H O T O T H I N K S T O C K

We 983150eed We 983150eed

MOR E

983155tre983150983143the983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

RELATIONSHIPS

983153u983137lity 983153u983137lity TIME amp EFFORT INTO

TO PUT

983155re983150983143te983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4452

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4552

T H E E X T R A S M I L E

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 43

I dont like to pack so I rsquo m just wearing all my stuff

JON CLARK

W h a t m a k e s y o

u t h i n k

D a d rsquo s t a l k i n g t o

t h e

p r o p h e t

B ecaus e h e s ai d h e w as on a conf er ence cal l

RYAN STOKER

F r o m n o w o n j u s t t a k e

a p i c t u r e o f t h e t o o t h a n

d

u p l o a d i t t o m y F a c e b o o k

p a g e

a n d t h e n I rsquo l l s e n d y o u t h e

m o n e y t h r o u g h P a y P a l

RANDY GLASBERGEN

[Gasp] He he made h is bed this morning

And I didnrsquo t even ask

VAL CHADWICK BAGLEY

Who says there arenrsquo t modern m iracles

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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44 N e w E r a

ldquoMymom works

Since you donrsquot see your mom often make sure that

the time you do have together is used well You

could talk to your mom about how to do this She

wants a good relationship with you too and will

help you work on it Try asking her what she would

appreciate coming home to a clean house doing an activity

together just talking with you As you regularly do activities your mom appreciates your relationship will improve

Of course you could plan some fun activities to do together

but any meaningful time togethermdashsuch as washing the dishes

or reading the scripturesmdashcan be a great way to build your

relationship

Also plan time for communication Understanding one

another is a key ingredient in good relationships One thing

to discuss is how your momrsquos work schedule will affect your

relationship with her You can avoid misunderstandings if you

talk about your expectations as well as your momrsquosPrayer will help Families are important to Heavenly Father

so He can inspire you to know how to improve your relation-

ship with your mom Donrsquot ignore a prompting to do something

that seems small (see Alma 376) A hug and a smile for exam-

ple can make a big difference NE

Write a Note

Even if you have very

little time together you

can still express your

love to your mother

Write her thoughtful secret notes As

she reads them at work she will think

of you Do as much as you can for

her Think about her more often and

pray for her Ask the Lord to inspire

you and prompt you regarding how

you can improve your relationship Irinka E 20 Odessa Ukraine

Seek to Understand Her

Try to understand her situation

because she works for your benefit

You can begin by helping with things

at home like cleaning the house

helping your siblings and cooking

You also can share scriptures with

your mom pray together and doactivities that you like to do together

Morony M 18 Chihuahua Mexico

Have a Special Sunday

On some Sundays we

have a special lunch

or dinner with a new

dessert we talk and at

the end we sing hymns This brings

us together and helps us be betterfriends

Rebeca N 12 Satildeo Paulo Brazil

Try an Experiment

We arrange time to be together hav-

ing family home evening playing

games going to the beach having

lunch together All of this helps to

Q U E S T I O N S amp A N S W E R S

all day Howcan I improve our

relationshiprdquo

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4752

keep the flame of a good relationship

alive When we disagree we avoid

criticizing I know that sometimes I

ask not to do housework but this

contributes to disharmony in the

home Since I began this experiment

mdashcomplaining less lowering my

voice helping more with housework

and talking more with my mothermdash

a sweet spirit has developed in our

home and we cooperate more

Glenda C 18 Bahia Brazil

Help at Home

Do some extra chores

around the house Your

mom has been work-

ing all day If she has

less work to do when she gets home

shersquoll probably be happier and have

more time to talk and do things with

you While you are talking you canask about her day at work It will

show her that you care and it will

open doors for other topics of discus-

sion allowing you to grow closer

Heather B 18 Oregon USA

Find Something You BothLike to Do

My mumrsquos relationship with me

skyrocketed when I said ldquoI want tospend more time with you but I donrsquot

know what to do or when to do itrdquo

Playing board games happens to be

our favorite pastime So we set aside

a time together to play laugh and

make memories When you are open

with your parents eventually they

become your best companions You

UPCOMING QUESTION

ldquoMy parents just

got divorced Irsquom angry that they

have broken up our

family How doI forgive themrdquo

Send your answer and photo by

September 15 2014

Go to neweraldsorg click ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo enter your LDS Accountand then select ldquoNew Erardquo

Responses may be edited for length

or clarity

Responses are intended for help and per-

spective not as official pronouncements ofChurch doctrine

will be able to talk to them about

anything and you will be sure of an

honest answer That is the sign of a

mature relationship

Ephraim S 15 New South Wales Australia

Read Scriptures Together

Both of you could set a goal to read

together every day even just five

minutes from the Book of Mormon

or any other Church book It will

strengthen your relationship andnourish you with the word of God

so you can be ready to face each day

Remember also to pray to God and

ask for His help I know He hears you

and loves you

Laura M 19 Coacuterdoba Argentina

LEARN FROM

YOUR MOTHER

ldquoPlease look to yourfaithful mothers fora pattern to followModel yourselves

after them not after celebritieswhose standards are not the Lordrsquosstandards and whose values maynot reflect an eternal perspectiveLook to your mother Learn fromher strengths her courage andher faithfulness Listen to her She

may not be a whiz at texting shemay not even have a Facebookpage But when it comes to mat-ters of the heart and the thingsof the Lord she has a wealth ofknowledgerdquo

Elder M Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles ldquoMothers and Daughtersrdquo

Ensign May 2010 19

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46 N e w E r a

MISERABLE TOTHE END OFTHE STREET

For one family home evening my

dad wanted to take advantage

of a pause in the rainy weather

to go on a walk around the neighbor-

hood I grumbled and complained

that it was too wet and muddy to

go walking I used the excuse that

I had a ballet recital that week and

didnrsquot want to sprain an ankle but

my dad didnrsquot buy it He insisted thatit was going to be the activity for the

evening I murmured a bit more about

the unfairness and my recital but we

left on the walk anyway

As I glumly stomped outside for

the walk with my family I was deter-

mined not to smile or be happy I

succeeded in feeling miserable until

I N S T A N T M E S S A G E S

we reached the end of the street Then

we turned the corner and I saw in full

force naturersquos beauty and wonder

Before me was a gorgeous sunset

and opposite it was a rainbow arching

above our neighborhood rooftops

I immediately forgot all about being

miserable and looked around in awe

On the way home I said a prayer of

gratitude thanking God for the beautyof His creations I later thanked my

dad for choosing the activity and for

allowing us to enjoy nature for that

family home evening

Jennie H North Carolina USA

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 47

STANDARDS AND FRIENDS

Since Irsquove been in school Irsquove had friends who havenrsquot understood the

moral standards of our religion At first it was difficult but over time

my friends have become used to the idea of my being morally clean I

made a goal in my life to be clean and pure and itrsquos worked out well both

for me and for those who used to criticize me Over time respect peace and

joy have become a part of our loving circle of friends

Vitoacuteria M Brazil

A DIFFICULT DECISION

FORGIVINGMY FRIENDS

As the only member of the

Church in my peer group

Irsquove experienced some

instances when my friends have

offended me Sometimes they judge

and criticize my religion I feel so

alone yet Irsquom thankful I know the

standards of the Church

If my friends offend me I try to

humble myself and avoid contention

because I know contention is evil When they start discussing some mat-

ters about the Church I just testify of

my belief in the gospel

I always forgive my friends with or

without their apology Forgiving is not

just about saying ldquoApology acceptedrdquo

or ldquoItrsquos OKrdquo because forgiveness has

a deep meaning Jesus Christ atoned

for our sins so that Heavenly Father

can forgive usEven though my friends donrsquot

understand my faith now I know that

I can be Godrsquos instrument to teach

them the gospel I am helping them

and at the same time I am helping

myself to grow spiritually and prepare

to serve a mission

Joshua V Philippines

As volleyball tryouts approached for my senior year in high

school I couldnrsquot believe the thought that was running through

my head I wasnrsquot supposed to play volleyball Irsquod played vol-

leyball since seventh grademdashwhy should this year be any different

Not seeing the sense in quitting I ignored the feeling and continued

to participate in summer volleyball events After a while the feeling

came back so I decided that if I really wasnrsquot supposed to be on the

team my coach would just cut me during tryouts

Then one night at the gym I couldnrsquot focus on the game at all I felt

terrible and restless inside I came home frustrated with my team and

with myself I sat next to my mom and sister and cried I told them

how confused I was and my mom told me to pray and ask Heavenly

Father what He wanted me to do I went up to my room and began to

pray I told Heavenly Father how I felt then I asked Him to help mefeel peace if I was not supposed to continue playing volleyball I felt

His peace in my heart and knew that I needed to quit

Irsquom still not sure all the reasons why that was the right

decision but I know that itrsquos what the Lord

wanted me to do and thatrsquos a good

enough reason for me

The next morning I told my

coach and my teammates that

I wasnrsquot going to be playing

Even though it was incrediblyhard I knew I was doing

the right thing

Klaire B Arizona USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5252

WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 452

2 N e w E r a

Some youth have questions and are

searching for direction Others are

wondering how they got off the gos-

pel path and how they might return While

I speak to all I speak most earnestly to the

one who is seeking

Your Spiritual Account We all live on spiritual credit In one way

or another the account builds and builds If

you pay it off as you go you have little need

to worry Soon you begin to learn discipline

and know that there is a day of reckoning

ahead Learn to keep your spiritual account

paid off at regular intervals rather than allow-

ing it to collect interest and penalties

Because you are being tested it is expec-

ted that you will make some mistakes Iassume that you have done things in your life

that you regret things that you cannot even

apologize for much less correct therefore

you carry a burden You perhaps may feel

inferior in mind and body and are troubled

or burdened with the weight of some spiri-

tual account that is marked ldquopast duerdquo When

you come face to face with yourself in those

moments of quiet contemplation (which

many of us try to avoid) are there some

unsettled things that bother you Do you

have something on your conscience Are you

still to one degree or another guilty of any-

thing small or large

Too frequently we receive letters from

those who have made tragic mistakes and areburdened They beg ldquoCan I ever be forgiven

Can I ever changerdquo The answer is yes (See

1 Corinthians 1013)

Repentance Gives Relief

The gospel teaches us that relief from

torment and guilt can be earned through

repentance Save for those fewmdashthose very

fewmdashwho defect to perdition after hav-

ing known a fulness there is no habit noaddiction no rebellion no transgression no

offense small or large which is exempt from

the promise of complete forgiveness No

matter what has happened in your life the

Lord has prepared a way for you to come

back if you will heed the promptings of the

Holy Spirit

Some are filled with a compelling urge

By PresidentBoyd K Packer

President of theQuorum of theTwelve Apostles

TRUTHS

MOST WORTHKNOWING

If you have stumbled or even been lost for a time you can move forward

with faith and not wander to and fro in the world any longer

T H E M E S S A G E

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 3

a temptation that recycles in the mind perhaps to become

a habit then an addiction We are prone to some transgres-

sion and sin and also a rationalization that we have no guilt

because we were born that way We become trapped and

hence comes the pain and torment that only the Savior can

heal You have the power to stop and to be redeemed

A Rattlesnake Named Pornography

President Marion G Romney (1897ndash1988) First

Counselor in the First Presidency told me once ldquoDonrsquot just

tell them so that they can understand tell them so that theycannot misunderstandrdquo

So listen up I will speak plainly as one called and under

obligation to do so

You live in a day when the scourge of pornography

is sweeping across the world It is hard to escape it

Pornography is focused on that part of your nature through

which you have the power to beget life

To indulge in pornography leads to difficulties divorce

disease and troubles of a dozen kinds There is no part of

it that is innocent To collect it view it or carry it around in

any form is akin to keeping a rattlesnake in your backpack

It exposes you to the inevitable spiritual equivalent of theserpentrsquos strike with its injection of deadly venom One

can easily understand with the world being what it is that

you can almost innocently be exposed to it to read it or to

view it without realizing the terrible consequences If thatCollecting or viewing pornography is akin to keeping a rattlesnake

in your backpack

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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4 N e w E r a

describes you I warn you to stop it Stop it now

The Book of Mormon teaches that all people ldquoare

instructed sufficiently that they know good from evilrdquo

(2 Nephi 25) That includes you You know what is rightand what is wrong Be very careful not to cross that line

Although most mistakes can be confessed privately to

the Lord there are some transgressions that require more

than that to bring about forgiveness If your mistakes

have been grievous see your bishop Otherwise ordinary

confession quietly and personally will do But remember

that great morning of forgiveness may not come all at once

If at first you stumble do not give up Overcoming discour-

agement is part of the test Do not give up And as I have

counseled before once you have confessed and forsaken your sins do not look back

The Lord is always there He is willing to suffer and

pay the penalty if you are willing to accept Him as your

Redeemer

The Saviorrsquos Suffering for Our Sins

As mortals we may notmdashindeed cannotmdashunderstand

fully how Jesus Christ fulfilled His atoning sacrifice But for

now the how is not as important as the why of His suffer-

ing Why did He do it for you for me for all of humanity

He did it for the love of God the Father and all mankind

ldquoGreater love hath no man than this that a man lay down

his life for his friendsrdquo ( John 1513)

In Gethsemane Christ went apart from His Apostles to

pray Whatever transpired is beyond our power to know

But we do know that He completed the Atonement He

was willing to take upon Himself the mistakes the sins and

guilt the doubts and fears of all the world He suffered for

us so that we would not have to suffer

Complete Forgiveness Is Possible

If you have stumbled or even been lost for a time if

you feel that the adversary now holds you captive you

can move forward with faith and not wander to and fro in

the world any longer There are those who stand ready to

guide you back to peace and security The grace of God

as promised in the scriptures comes ldquoafter all we can dordquo

(2 Nephi 2523) The possibility of this to me is the truth

most worth knowingI promise that the brilliant morning of forgiveness can

come Then ldquothe peace of God which passeth all under-

standingrdquo (Philippians 47) comes into your life once again

something like a sunrise and you and He ldquowill remember

[your] sin no morerdquo ( Jeremiah 3134) How will you know

you have been forgiven You will know (See Mosiah

41ndash3)

This is what I have come to teach you who are in

trouble He will step in and solve the problem you

cannot solve but you have to pay the price It does notcome without doing that He is a very kind ruler in the

sense that He will always pay the price necessary but He

wants you to do what you should even if it is painful

I love the Lord and I love the Father who sent Him

Our burdens of disappointment sin and guilt can

be laid before Him and on His generous terms each

item on the account can be marked ldquopaid in fullrdquo (See

Isaiah 118ndash19)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 5

Live Faithfully and Remain Worthy

The scripture ldquolearn wisdom in thy youth yea learn in thy

youth to keep the commandments of Godrdquo (Alma 3735) is

an invitation attended by the promise of peace and protec-

tion from the adversary (See also 1 Timothy 412)

Do not expect that all will go smoothly throughout

your life Even for those who are living as they should

it sometimes will be just the opposite Meet each of lifersquos

challenges with optimism and surety and you will have the

peace and faith to sustain you now and in the future

For those who do not yet have all of the blessings youfeel you want and need to have I firmly believe that no

experience or opportunity essential for redemption and

salvation will be denied you who live faithfully Remain

worthy be hopeful patient and prayerful Things have

a way of working out The gift of the Holy Ghost will guide

you and direct your actions

I know you as the youth of the Church and I under-

stand that yoursquore not perfect but you are moving along that

road Have courage Know that any person who has a body

has power over one who has not1 Satan is denied a body

so if ever you are confronted with temptations know that

you outrank all those temptations if you will exercise the

agency given to Adam and Eve in the garden and passed

on to this very generation NE From a devotional given at Brigham Young University on November 6 2011

For the full text go to speechesbyuedu

NOTE

1 See Teachings of Presidents of the Church Joseph Smith (2007) 211

I promise that the brilliant morning of forgiveness can come

Find help overcoming pornographyat ldsorggoovercomeNE8

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 852

6 N e w E r a

By Mindy Raye FriedmanChurch Magazines

When they meet someone they

offer the person a piece of banana

bread When the person accepts he

or she is told that although the bread

is delicious and good for the body

the missionaries have a message that

will be nourishing to the personrsquos soul

The young men and their companions

then invite the person to meet withthe missionaries In this way theyrsquove

been able to get 40 to 50 referrals for

the missionaries in a couple of hours

The young men also fellowship the

members of their own quorums On

Saturdays they meet for a Young Men

983137983150983137983150983137 Be983137d

For these young men sharing a slice of bread has blessed

countless lives including their own

activity and to work on Duty to

God Then they visit the less-active

members of their quorum They

encourage them to attend church

and then invite them to come back

to play sports or participate in

another activity

In this way and many others

these young men are preparing tobe lifelong missionaries Two of

them (at right) share how they feel

strengthened and inspired by their

experiences

Missionaries

If someone offered you a piece

of delicious banana bread how

would you react For the young

men in a ward in Ecuador thatrsquos

one way they start conversations

about the gospel

Every two months they have a

missionary day with open houses in a

different area of their ward They splitinto several teams each made up of

a young man a full-time or recently

returned missionary and an elder or

high priest Some of the groups work

at a tent some go to contact people

in the park and some go door to door

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Ihave been a member of the Church

for five years My parents are not

members but my uncle Jorge is

the Young Men president and he

has been a great support I am also

grateful to my bishop for his con-

stant support and encouragement

I decided to get closer to the

Church after one of the missionary

days they had in the ward It was

one of my first experiences that

motivated me to join the Church As

a deacon teacher and now a priestmy leaders have always supported

and encouraged me to participate

in all of the missionary work activ-

ities I like the open houses where

I have the opportunity to share

with others the blessing of being a

member of Christrsquos Church What

inspires me most are the service

Changed by

the Gospel

Your Missio983150983137ry Ex983152erie983150ce s

As a deacon I learned my

responsibilities thanks to the

support of my parents and lead-

ers and working with the goals

in the Duty to God booklet As a

teacher I learned more by going

to do visits as a home teacher

participating in the open houses

on the missionary days sharing

banana bread attending Mutual

and participating in ward and

stake activities

Now as a priest I get tofocus more on missionary work

Working with the Young Men

president and as an assistant to

the bishop I have learned much

more about my responsibilities as

a priesthood holder

Our leaders constantly invite

us to come with them and the

full-time missionaries so that we

can become familiar with mis-sionary work They also exhort

us to read the scriptures espe-

cially the Book of Mormon All

of these experiences motivate

and prepare me to receive the

higher priesthood and to serve

a full-time mission

Isaac G 17

Learning My

Responsibilities

activities where I have the oppor-

tunity to serve my neighbor as

Jesus taught us to do

A year ago my younger broth-

ers Luis age 15 and Israel age 12

joined the Church Together we

have been working on the projects

in Duty to God and since their

baptisms we have shared wonderful

experiences working together All of

the young men in the ward are very

close and we support each other

I know that baptism is the gateto enter the kingdom of heaven

When we are in the service of

our fellow beings we are in the

service of God (see Mosiah 217)

Missionary work blesses fami-

lies and I know that my life has

changed because of the gospel

Alvaro T 17

How have you shared the gospel through small and simple means

Share your stories by visiting neweraldsorg and clicking ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo or by emailing neweraldschurchorg

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8 N e w E r a

By Thomas E Robinson III

F R O M T H E M I S S I O N F I E L D

One small prompting can

change lives for the better

A M I RAC LE

ATT H E

AI RP O RT

s a new missionary in Japan I

had a hard time understanding

anyone let alone getting to

know them It was difficult

to learn to love people I didnrsquot even

know especially when I couldnrsquot

understand what they were saying

But I made an effort to show mylove for them and I appreciated their

efforts to reach out to me

Each week my companion and I

received a loaf of homemade bread

from a sister in the ward named Sister

Senba She showed her love for the

missionaries by baking homemade

bread and writing small but heartfelt

notes

I was touched that someone caredabout me I felt impressed to show my

gratitude to her in some small way

I wrote her a note expressing how

grateful I was for her and the sacri-

fices she and her family made to help

the missionaries We became friends

and I began to think of her as my

ldquomother away from homerdquo

A

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Months passed Early one

Wednesday morning I received a

call from my mission president

who asked me to transfer down to

Okinawa When I hung up the phone

I was filled with the most bittersweet

feeling I dreaded having to say my

good-byes Each phone call to tell

members of the ward I would be

leaving on the following day made

my heart hurt Saying good-bye to thepeople I had come to love so much

was more difficult than I had imag-

ined it would be

As I finished these calls I noticed

that the only one who had not

answered the phone was Sister Senba

I was sad I would not be able to say

good-bye to a member who had

become so close to my heart

The next morning two other mis-sionaries and I left for the airport

When we arrived at the ticket counter

and tried to buy tickets the work-

ers told us that our cards had been

declined We did not have any money

to pay for the tickets and the flight

was leaving in 10 minutes The three

of us were in a panic We were about

to miss the flight and be stranded at

the airport for the dayBut all of my panic turned to com-

fort when I turned around and saw

Sister Senba walk into the airport

I was shocked that she was there

because she hadnrsquot known what time

our flight was As she scrambled over

to us she smiled and gave us all bread

to bring onto the plane

As we explained to her that we

were going to miss our flight she

became saddened None of us knew

what to do Then Sister Senba began

rummaging through her purse look-

ing for something that could help us

She jumped happily into the air when

she found a small envelope in her

purse in which weeks ago she had

placed yen50000mdashthe exact amount of

money we needed She gave us the

At that moment I felt the Spirit

more strongly than I ever have before

Sister Senbarsquos example taught me how

important it is to follow the prompt-

ings of the Spiritmdashno matter how

small or strange the prompting might

seem Through these promptings we

have the power to change lives for

the better I know it was not a coinci-

dence that she came to the airport It

was a miracle

TRULY THE LORD USES SMALL MEANS TO

BRING ABOUT HIS WORK

money and we were able to get our

tickets in time We thanked her with

every ounce of gratitude our souls

could muster said good-bye and

rushed onto the plane After the plane took off my fellow

missionary turned to me and said

ldquoIsnrsquot she amazing That was

a miraclerdquo

I then realized how truly mirac-

ulous it really was He then said

ldquoWhat does your note sayrdquo I saw he

was reading a note that was with the

bread Sister Senba had given

him As I realized I had onetoo I pulled out the note

and read a small piece of

paper personally addressed

to me which immediately

made my eyes swell with

tears It said ldquoI love you

Please donrsquot forget me I

will never forget yourdquo

Truly the Lord uses small means to

bring about His work How blessed

we are as members of this Church to

have His influence in our lives Let

us all remain worthy to receive thesepromptings and bless the lives of the

children of God NE

Thomas E Robinson III lives in Utah USA

Editorrsquos note Sister Senba was promptly

reimbursed by the mission

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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When I got my first paycheck for my first real job (at a

sandwich shop) I rewarded myself with a shopping

spree I bought some music and a cute outfit After

spending every dollar Irsquod earned I thought about

my purchases

ldquoThere goes two whole weeks of workrdquo I

thought And a sick feeling started to grow inmy stomach

As I thought about all those hours of hard work mak-

ing sandwiches my superficial purchases hardly seemed

worth it I vowed to be more careful with my money

So from then on I saved every penny for college and a pos-

sible mission and never bought anything I wanted ever again

Yeah right

I was still a normal teenager who wanted stylish clothes

good music and fun activities with my friends But coming

from a big family I knew that if I wanted those things I wouldhave to save money to pay for them myself

It might sound impossible but I found ways to be finan-

cially prepared for the future and have fun at the same timemdash

even with a part-time job that didnrsquot pay very much Here are

some tips on how you can increase your ldquomoney smartsrdquo

10 N e w E r a

HOW TO BEMONEY SMART

By Arianne Cope

Y O U W O R K H A R D F O R Y O U R M O N E Y A fewi983149983152le 983152ri983150ci983152les c983137983150 983149983137ke your c983137sh 983143o further

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A BUDGET THAT WORKS

Yoursquove probably been told about budgets

from the day you earned your first nickel or

dime Thatrsquos because it really works A bud-get is a plan that will help you make the best

use of what you earn and save Herersquos one

way you can set up a budget of your own

1 Decide on a time frame for your budget

Most budgets plan for expenses monthly

2 Add up every dollar you plan to make

to figure out your expected income (Or

use last monthrsquos earnings for this monthrsquos

spending so you have an exact amount

available)

3 Calculate how much yoursquoll need to pay

for tithing along with any other offerings

you might want to give

4 Create a list of things you think yoursquoll pur-

chase throughout the month along with

how much theyrsquoll probably cost

5 Separate your needs from your wants

because yoursquoll want to spend your money

on needs first

6 Subtract the total cost of your needs from

your total income

7 Set aside a little money each month for

your wants

8 After paying for tithing and your imme-

diate needs put most of the money thatrsquos

left into savings Look to the future and set

a plan to save for college a mission (par-

ticularly young men) or other big things

Think about how much you need to save

every month to meet the financial goals

you have for those big things in the future

9 Remember that making your budget work

takes solid planning a strong commit-

ment and self-discipline Itrsquos tough but

itrsquos worth it

SHOPPING PRINCIPLES

If yoursquore like most teenagers yoursquore prob-

ably going to want to spend some of your

money at the mall at a store or online So

yoursquoll want to know some basic principles

about shopping before you go

bull Decide what yoursquore planning to buy

before you go shopping Then stick to

your plan and avoid the habit of buying

things on impulse

bull Buy something only if you really love it

Donrsquot let your friends a salesperson or an

advertisement talk you into buying some-

thing yoursquore not going to use often

bull Remember that the word sale doesnrsquot

always mean yoursquore getting a good deal

Look for the best quality at the lowest

price Sometimes that means paying a

little bit more for something that will last a

lot longer

bull Ask yourself if you can live without the

item Remember the old adage ldquoFix it up

wear it out make it do or do withoutrdquo

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 11

T H E B O O K O F M O R M O N

CONCERT

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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SOME FINAL TIPS

Just to finish here are some general

money-related guidelines to keep in mind

bull Keep track of your money and keep it in

a safe place

bull You canrsquot buy happiness but being will-

ing to share usually results in a smile

bull Avoid gambling of any kind

bull Be cautious of things that seem too good

to be truemdashthey usually are

The most important lesson about money

however is to keep in mind that wersquore not

here on earth to get rich or to have a lot of

fancy things Remember these truths from

the Doctrine and Covenants ldquoSeek not for

riches but for wisdom and behold the mys-

teries of God shall be unfolded unto you

and then shall you be made rich Behold he

that hath eternal life is richrdquo (DampC 67) NE

Arianne Cope lives in Utah USA

THE FUN STUFF

Herersquos a little-known fact a half-gallon

of ice cream from the grocery store tastes

almost as good as ice cream from an ice-cream shop Also a fact you can often buy

a half-gallon of ice cream for the same price

yoursquod pay for a single serving at an ice-

cream shop So if you need to save some

money suggest that your friends all split a

half-gallon from the store rather than spend-

ing a lot more at the ice-cream shop

And thatrsquos just one example of simple

money solutions You can be frugal in lots of

ways while still having a great time

bull Watch the newspaper or look online to

find free community or local events

bull If you want to see a movie go to a mati-

nee or a dollar theater for cheaper tickets

bull Plan ahead Make a list of ideas of free

things to do with your friends so you

wonrsquot rely on spending money to enter-

tain yourselves

bull Have fun outdoors without paying much

(if anything) Enjoy a campfire in the

canyon or on the beach or a free Frisbee

game at the parkmdashthey can be just

as much fun as going to a movie or a

concert

12 N e w E r a

FACT YOU CAN OFTEN BUY A HALF-GALLON OF

ICE CREAM FOR THE SAME PRICE YOUrsquoD PAY FOR A

SINGLE SERVING AT AN ICE-CREAM SHOP

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 13

3 Nephi 1815 20ndash21Jesus Christ taught the Nephites the importance of prayer

Editorrsquos note This page is not meant to be a com-

prehensive explanation of the selected seminary

scripture mastery verses only a starting point for

your own study

983148983141983155983156 983161983141 983138983141 983156983141983149983152983156983141983140

This is one of many scriptures

that teach how praying can help

us escape Satanrsquos temptations (see

also DampC 105 3112 and 6139)

Here are some other blessings thescriptures promise when you obey

the command to pray always What

blessings have you received

bull You will be worthy to stand in the

presence of God (see Luke 2136)

bull The Lord will consecrate your

efforts (see 2 Nephi 329)

bull The Spirit will be poured upon

you (see DampC 1938)

bull You will be given strength toendure (see DampC 88126)

bull Things will work out for your

good (see DampC 9024)

983152983154983137983161 983137983148983159983137983161983155

ldquoWe should be alone

with our Heavenly

Father at least two

or three times each

daymdashlsquomorning mid-day and eve-ningrsquo as the scripture indicates (Alma

3421) In addition we are told to

pray always (See 2 Ne 329 DampC

88126) This means that our hearts

should be full drawn out in prayer

unto our Heavenly Father continually

(See Alma 3427)rdquo

President Ezra Taft Benson (1899ndash1994) ldquoPray

Alwaysrdquo Ensign Feb 1990 2

L I N E U P O N L I N E

983159983144983137983156983155983151983141983158983141983154 983161983141 983155983144983137983148983148 983137983155983147

In the scriptures the Lord repeatedly

promises to answer our prayers if we

will but ask What can you learn from

these scriptures about how to ask and

receive answers What other scriptures

can you find that teach about this

bull James 15ndash6

bull 1 Nephi 1511

bull Enos 12ndash15

bull Mormon 921

bull DampC 810

bull DampC 4630ndash32

983159983144983145983139983144 983145983155 983154983145983143983144983156

ldquoHere the Savior

reminds us that faith

no matter how strong

it is cannot produce

a result contrary to the will of him

whose power it is The exercise of

faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is always

subject to the order of heaven to

the goodness and will and wisdom

and timing of the Lord That is why we cannot have true faith in the

Lord without also having complete

trust in the Lordrsquos will and in the

Lordrsquos timingrdquo

Elder Dallin H Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles ldquo lsquoFaith in the Lord Jesus Christrsquo rdquo

Ensign May 1994 100

983137983148983159983137983161983155 983145983150 983149983161 983150983137983149983141

Praying in Christrsquos name means

more than just ending our prayers

in the name of Jesus Christ The

Bible Dictionary teaches ldquoWe pray

in Christrsquos name when our mind isthe mind of Christ and our wishes

the wishes of Christmdashwhen His

words abide in us (John 157) We

then ask for things it is possible for

God to grant Many prayers remain

unanswered because they are not

in Christrsquos name at all they in no

way represent His mind but spring

out of the selfishness of manrsquos

heartrdquo (ldquoPrayerrdquo)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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By ElderJoseacute L Alonso

Of the Seventy

LINKED PRAYERS COUNSELING WITH THE LORD

ldquoThere may be things in our character in our behavior or concerningour spiritual growth about which we need to counsel with HeavenlyFather in morning prayer After expressing appropriate thanks for

blessings received we plead for understanding direction and helpto do the things we cannot do in our own strength alone

ldquoAt the end of our day we kneel again and report back to our Father We reviewthe events of the day and express heartfelt thanks for the blessings and the helpwe received We repent and with the assistance of the Spirit of the Lord identifyways we can do and become better tomorrow Thus our evening prayer buildsupon and is a continuation of our morning prayer And our evening prayer also is apreparation for meaningful morning prayerrdquo

Elder David A Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles ldquoPray Alwaysrdquo Ensign Nov 2008 41ndash42

14 N e w E r a

When I was 15 I went

to live with my father

while I finished high

school He lived and

worked in another city and had joined

the Church I didnrsquot know he was

a member but I saw that he acted

differently He acted with love and

kindness and was interested in myconcerns and needs

The first night I arrived I was

so hungry We sat down for dinner

and I started to eat but my father

said ldquoWait a minute We need to

prayrdquo I said ldquoWe need to what rdquo I

didnrsquot even know what the word

pray meant My father explained

that he was going to thank God our

Heavenly Father for the food we

had received from Him and then

we could eat My father prayed

and in his prayer he mentioned myname and asked for God to bless

me I felt something wonderful That

was the first time I felt the Spirit so

strongly in my life

My father taught me to pray to

Heavenly Father on my own Later

when the missionaries taught me

about Joseph Smithrsquos prayer I imme-

diately felt that it was possible for the

Lord to answer the prayer of a young

man The missionaries asked me to

read the Book of Mormon and to pray

to know if Jesus is the Christ if JosephSmith was a prophet and if the Book

of Mormon is true

That night I read the story in

3 Nephi 11 of when Jesus visits the

Nephites I was in a private place

so I got down on my knees and I

prayed Even though I was only 15 I

had faith that the Lord would answer

my prayer I received an impression

in my mind as clear as anything Ihad ever seen that Jesus is the Christ

Joseph Smith was a prophet and

the Book of Mormon is true I felt

like Joseph Smith after that prayer

I was so happy to truly know that

Heavenly Father answers prayers

from young people

Irsquod Never PRAYED BEFORE

i983150 Th983137t W983137y

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 15

WHAT KEPT ME STRONG

D983137ily P983137yer

As a teenager in an area with-

out a lot of Church members

I found that daily prayer was one

of the most important things that

helped me stay spiritually strong

I made sure to pray every day and

developed a pattern that helped

memdashmorning and evening prayers

When I heard

my father prayfor the rst timel felt something

wonderful

MORNING PRAYERS

Every morning I would share with

the Lord

bull My plans for the day

bull What I wanted to do

bull What I thought the Lord

wanted me to do

I would present my plans to

God and then ask for the Lordrsquos

help in accomplishing them

EVENING PRAYERS

Every evening I would

bull Report on how my day went

and if I had accomplished the

things I had set out to do

bull Share things that had been

difficult for me

bull Share things that I had learned

from people or through the

Spirit that dayThe more I prayed the more

I learned to understand and

receive impressions from the

Holy Ghost These impressions

helped me gain more strength

to follow the direction of the

Lord NE

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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16 N e w E r a

With canteen in hand I was prepared for my

second 50-mile hike and campout in the

Uinta Mountains I was about as well pre-

pared as a 14-year-old could be My equip-

ment was all set to go my boots were sturdy and my pack

was full of all the essentials

The day of the hike arrived and our

leaders reminded our group of young men

that the mountains could be very danger-

ous Hikers and campers were often lost

in the rugged hills and on the numerous

trails We were warned not to wander

away from the path Our leadersmdashmy

father includedmdashall seemed concerned

for our safety and were anxious to keep

us from straying off of our chosen pathBeing one of the stronger hikers and

a leader in the group I soon found myself

and three other boys leading the way

Sometimes we waited for our group at the

forks in the trail to make sure we followed

the correct path and would not become lost

We hiked for hours laughing and joking all the way We

were having a great time Suddenly we heard frantic calls

and the sounds of running We knew something must have

gone wrong We wondered if maybe some of the grouphad become lost I was concerned for the friends Irsquod left

behind with the leaders Something bad must have happened

We stopped to listen so we could hear what the distant

voices were yelling We heard our names More specifically

I heard my name being called I recognized my fatherrsquos

voice We called back and heard their heavy footsteps coming

in our direction

Something bad had happened We learned that

four of the boys in our group had strayed from

the correct path and had become lost It was us

We were the ones who were lost My father was

thankful to have finally found us and together we

began the hike back to the correct trail

In my head I retraced my footsteps I couldnrsquot

figure out how Irsquod become lost I felt like I was

still on the original path Irsquod been so sure We

retraced our steps and my father showed us aturn we had missed It was just a small path with

a little hidden sign marking the correct way

We had hiked two miles off the right trail

We were thankful wersquod been found

before dark For the rest of the hike

we stayed close to our leaders and the rest of the

group and were never in danger again

Sometimes our overconfidence as youth

gives us an unrealistic sense of independence

We push on without consulting our parentsor leaders We fail to ask for advice We feel

By Duncan Anderson

Mile Hike

The

We stoppedto listen so we

could hear whatthe distant voices

were yellingWe heard ournames We

called back andheard their heavyfootsteps comingin our direction

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 17

certain wersquore headed in a direction leading to the right

destination We laugh and joke and enjoy the path until itrsquos

too late too dark and wersquore lost

When it comes to choosing the right trails in life our

Heavenly Father has provided tools to guide us and keep us

on the path that leads to Him We have the scriptures prayer

and revelation our parents guidelines like For the Strength

of Youth and our Church leaders to guide us through the

countless options life offers

When we do stray off the path itrsquos often our loving parents

and dedicated leaders who come to the rescue They can

guide us back to the correct way and show us where we

went wrong Through repentance we can correct those

wrongs and start fresh on the right path headed toward the

destination that will give us eternal happiness and a life in the

presence of our Heavenly Father NE

Duncan Anderson lives in Utah USA

CHOOSING RIGHT PATHS

ldquoI plead with you to make a determi-nation right here right now notto deviate from the path which willlead to our goal eternal life with ourFather in Heaven Along that straight

and true path there are other goals missionaryservice temple marriage Church activity scripturestudy prayer temple work There are countless wor-thy goals to reach as we travel through life Neededis our commitment to reach themrdquo

President Thomas S Monson ldquoThe Three Rs of Choicerdquo

Ensign Nov 2010 68

NEED ADVICE

Is there anything yoursquod like advice on Donrsquot be afraid to ask your

parents or Church leaders Remember they are there to help you

no matter what yoursquod like to talk about

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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One of the things we agree

to do as part of the bap-

tismal covenant is ldquoto

stand as witnesses of

God at all times and in all things and in

all places that [we] may be inrdquo (Mosiah

189) And incidentally we renew this

covenant every week when we partake

of the sacramentIn the April 2014 general conference

several speakers reminded us that there

will be times when standing as a witness

of God will mean having to face oppo-

sition criticism and ridicule So what

should you do when yoursquore required

to take the uncomfortable uncool or

unpopular step of defending your beliefs

By David A Edwards

Church Magazines

Be brave and humble firm and gentle

all at the same time With the Lordrsquos

help itrsquos not as hard as it sounds

18 N e w E r a

of Defe983150di983150983143Your Beliefs

Dorsquos 983137983150d

Donrsquots

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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you should rely on the Spiritto guide your defense of your

faith Bear testimony by the

Spirit Thatrsquos the Lordrsquos way

(See also DampC 1005ndash8)

The point here is not that

you should avoid any discus-

sion in which people have dif-

fering points of view Rather it

has to do with your intent as

well as the emotions involved

We should seek understand-

ing and try to persuade withmeekess not just score points

and prove wersquore right and

someone else is wrong A

discussion where people are

getting really worked up and

angry is one you should either

try to soften or simply avoid

Heavenly Father has given

you the gift of the Holy Ghost

and you should take advan-

tage of this gift This doesnrsquot

mean reason and logic canrsquot

be inspired or confirmed by

the Spirit it just means that

Elder W Craig Zwick of

the Seventy has explained

this scripture this way ldquoA lsquosoft

answerrsquo consists of a reasoned

responsemdashdisciplined words

from a humble heart It does

not mean we never speak

directly or that we compro-

mise doctrinal truth Words

that may be firm in infor-

mation can be soft in spiritrdquo

(ldquoWhat Are You Thinkingrdquo

Ensign May 2014 42)

ldquoA SOFT ANSWER TURNETH AWAY

wr983137thBUT

GRIEVOUS WORDS stir u983152 983137983150983143errdquo

(Proverbs 151)

ldquoBeholdI send you forthas sheep in the

midst of wolves be ye therefore wise as serpents

and h983137r983149less as dovesrdquo

(Matthew 1016)

The Savior doesnrsquot want

you to be ignorant or naiumlve

but He also doesnrsquot want you

to attack anyone Knowing

what goes on in the world

doesnrsquot mean we have to

use its tactics

ldquoCONTEND AGAINST

NO CHURCHrdquo (DampC 1820)

There is no need to

criticize other churches

Positive statements of your

beliefs rather than negative

statements about others will

be most effective As the

Prophet Joseph Smith said

ldquoWe donrsquot ask any people

to throw away any good

they have got we only ask

them to come and get morerdquo

(Teachings of Presidents

of the Church Joseph

Smith [2007] 155)

ldquoAND THOUSHALT DECLARE

983143l983137d tidi983150983143s ldquoAND THOU SHALTDO IT WITH 983137ll hu983149ilityTRUSTING IN ME 983154evili983150983143 983150ot

AGAINST REVILERSrdquo

(DampC 1929ndash30)

The tidings you declare

are glad Remember that

and make sure your face and

your voice show it too Also

the word revile here means

to hurl abusive or insulting

language at a person So if

ldquoFOR I AM

NOT ASHAMED

OF THE GOSPEL OF CHRISTrdquo

(Romans 116)

As President Thomas S

Monson has said ldquoWe will all

face fear experience ridiculeand meet opposition Let

usmdashall of usmdashhave the courage

to defy the consensus the

courage to stand for prin-

ciple Courage not com-

promise brings the smile of

Godrsquos approvalrdquo (ldquoBe Strong

and of a Good Couragerdquo

Ensign May 2014 69)

The scriptures give you some basic principles for standing up for your faith including the following

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 19

ldquoWe s983152e983137k

NOT IN THE WORDS which 983149983137983150rsquos

WISDOM TEACH ETH

but which THE HOLY GHOST

TEACHETHrdquo

(1 Corinthians 213)

ldquoHE THATHATH THE

SPIRIT OF CONTENTIONIS NOT OF ME

BUT ISOF THE DEVIL

WHO IS THE FATHER OFCONTENTION AND

HE STIRRETH UPTHE HEARTS

OF MEN

TO CONTEND WITH ANGER

ONE WITH ANOTHERrdquo(3 Nephi 1129)

HERErsquoS SOME ADVICE FROM THE SCRIPTURES

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2252

How Do You Defend Do you have experi-ence in defending yourbeliefs Or do you haveideas to add to theselists Go to ldsorggodefendNE8 and share

Finding Courage

Read more on this topic atldsorggocourageNE8

someonersquos doing that to you

donrsquot retaliate and do the

same thing back to them The

Apostle Peter taught that the

Savior Himself gave the exam-

ple you should follow in thisregard (see 1 Peter 223)

ldquoLOVE YOUR ENEMIESbless them

that curse you

DO GOOD TO T HEMTHAT HATE YOU

and pray for

them which

DESPITEFULLY USE YOUAND PERSECUTE YOUrdquo

(Matthew 544)ldquoSEE THAT YE ARE NOT lifted u983152 u983150to

983152ride ye983137 SEE THAT YE DO

NOT BOAST IN YOUR

OWN WISDOM

983150or of your 983149uch stre983150983143thldquoUSE BOLDNESS

BUT NOT

OVERBEARANCErdquo (Alma 3811ndash12)

Here the word tenets

refers to opinions or teachings

that go beyond the basics So

the Lord is saying to stick to

the basic message of the gos-

pel when yoursquore declaring Hisglad tidings This also applies

to defending your faith

You donrsquot need to stray into

detailed discussions about

every little thing related to the

Church As Elder Richard G

Scott of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles has said

ldquoKeep your sharing of the

gospel simple rdquo (ldquo lsquoI HaveGiven You an Examplerdquo

Ensign May 2014 34)

ldquoEveryone independent

of his or her decisions and

beliefs deserves our kind-

ness and considerationrdquo said

Elder Neil L Andersen of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles ldquoThe Savior

taught us to love not only

our friends but also those

who disagree with usmdashand

even those who repudiate

usrdquo (ldquoSpiritual Whirlwindsrdquo

Ensign May 2014 20)

Again be humble Itrsquos not

about you or how smart and

capable you are Also you can

be bold without making over-

blown statements or being

a verbal or intellectual bully

As Elder Jeffrey R Holland

of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoYou willone day find yourself called

upon to defend your faith

Such moments will require

both courage and courtesy

on your partrdquo (ldquoThe Costmdashand

Blessingsmdashof Discipleshiprdquo

Ensign May 2014 6)

ldquoA983150d of te983150ets thou sh983137lt 983150ot t983137lk but thou shalt

declare repentance andfaith on the Savior and 983154e983149issio983150 of si983150sby baptism and by fire

yea even the Holy Ghostrdquo(DampC 1931)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2352

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2452

22 N e w E r a

I received my first two-wheel bicycle

when I was eight years old With

the help of my older brother and

father I began the rather scary pro-

cess of figuring out how to ride it The other kids in the neighborhood

made it look so easy and natural as

they zoomed up and down the street

on their bikes I perched on the bike

seatmdashwhich seemed to be at least

10 feet (3 m) above the groundmdashand

realized there was absolutely noth-

ing to keep me from falling over and

proving that the law of gravity was

alive and well As I tried riding I learned quickly

that if I wanted to stay balanced I had

to keep pedaling When I first sat on

the seat speed was the last thing I

wanted to add to the already daunting

equation But I very soon understood

the wisdom and the physics involved

in moving forward As long as I kept

pedaling I could stay upright and

avoid the rough concrete just waiting

to take the skin off my arms and legs

Soon I was zipping around the neigh-

borhood with my friends

Defy Gr983137vity Defy Gr983137vity

of the First Presidency as outlined

in that booklet our lives will be bal-

anced and steady We will be led

where we want to go

We need to keep moving forwardto avoid falling To do that we should

consistently and faithfully do certain

actions

bull Pray morning and night

bull Study the scriptures daily

bull Attend Church meetings and par-

take of the sacrament worthily

bull Serve those around us

bull Be worthy to attend the temple

All of these actions keep us moving

forward in the right direction

Thatrsquos why reading and being famil-

iar with the standards described in For

the Strength of Youth will help ensure

we are making choices consistent with

Godrsquos standards Living these princi-

ples and keeping the commandments

F O R T H E S T R E N G T H O F Y O U T H

By Bonnie LOscarson

Young WomenGeneral President

As you keep moving forward you can stay upright even

when outside forces try to pull you down

Just as those who keep

pedaling a bike can stay

upright despite gravityrsquos

influence those who are

guided by the Holy Spirit in

all they do can withstand

the influence of theadversary

So it is with living the gospel and

the standards in For the Strength of

Youth It takes faith to believe that if

we consistently follow the counsel

GO FORWARD WITH FAITH

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 23

invite the Holy Ghost to be our con-

stant companion Just as those who

keep pedaling a bike can stay upright

despite gravityrsquos influence those who

are guided by the Holy Spirit in allthey do can withstand the influence of

the adversary

What are the destinations you have

in mind as you pedal forward For all

young men of the Aaronic Priesthood

preparing now for a full-time mission

is important in forward growth For

all youth being prepared to go to the

temple and receive the endowment by

making and keeping sacred covenantsshould also be a primary goal

As the message from the First

Presidency at the beginning of For the

Strength of Youth says ldquoIn all that you

do stay focused on the temple In the

temple you will receive the greatest

of all the Lordrsquos blessings including

marriage for time and all eternityrdquo1

Receiving the covenant of eternal

marriage in the house of the Lord and

becoming righteous husbands wives

fathers and mothers may seem far

down the road but the time to beginpreparing is now All of these things

lead to the most glorious and grand

destination of allmdasheternal life with

our Heavenly Father

One of my favorite scriptures

sums up what we need to do in order

to keep moving toward our goals

ldquoWherefore ye must press forward

with a steadfastness in Christ hav-

ing a perfect brightness of hopeand a love of God and of all men

Wherefore if ye shall press forward

feasting upon the word of Christ and

endure to the end behold thus saith

the Father Ye shall have eternal liferdquo

(2 Nephi 3120)

Just as I learned as an eight-year-

old girl that I needed to keep pedaling

and moving forward in order to defy

gravity and keep my balance on my

bicycle it is important for all of us to

keep moving forward with faith trust-

ing in the counsel of living prophetsand a loving Heavenly Father to keep

us from falling Some of our destina-

tions are just down the road while

others will take a lifetime of faithful

living to achieve The promises of

what lies at the end of the road if we

are faithful are certain and glorious

and well worth the ride NE

NOTE

1 For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

Learn MoreSee whatrsquos next in your covenant path

at ldsorggocovenantNE8

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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24 N e w E r a

BOA R D

GA M E S

B y Da vid Chris tensen

My chance to play le f t

a lasting impact but it

wasnrsquot what Irsquod e xpected

L o s i n

g s o

q u i c k

l y w

a s b

a d e

n o u

g h

b

u t t o

m a k

e m

a t t e r s

w o r s e

t h

e o t h

e r g

u y

s s t a r t e

d t o

m a k

e

f u n

o f

m e

I

t r i e d

t o c o

n t i n

u e

p l a y i n g

e v e

n t h

o u

g h

t h e y

w e r

e b

e i n

g m

e a n

b

u t i t

w a s h

a r d t o h o

l d b

a c k m y t e

a r s

o f f r u s t

r a t i o n

U

n f o

r t u n a t e l y

o n e t e

a r t r i c k l e

d d

o w

n m y

c h e e

k b

e f o

r e I

c o u

l d w i p

e i t

a w a y M

y b

r o t h

e r

s a w i t

a n d

t e a s e

d m

e t o

o

I c o

u l d

n rsquo t

t a k e i t

a n y

m o r e

a n d

r a n t o

m y

r o o m

I g a v e m y s e l

f a q u i c k p i n

c h

t o m a k e s u r

e I w a s n rsquo

t d r e a m i n g

a n d t h e

n I v o i c e d

a t i m i d ldquo Y e

a h

s u r e rdquo I s t

i l l c o u l d

n rsquo t b e l i e

v e t h a t

m y b r o t h e

r h a d i n v

i t e d m e t o

p l a y a g a m e w i t h

t h e ldquo b i g k i

d s rdquo

A f t e r a l l

I rsquo d b e e n t o l d f o r t h

r e e

y e a r s t h a

t I w a s s t i l l

t o o y o u

n g

t o p l a y m o r e d i f fi

c u l t b o a

r d

g a m e s w i t h m y b r o

t h e r a n d

h i s f r i e n d s

A N D B R O

T H

E R S

I

felt the hot tears of anger slowly slide

down my face I wiped them away with

my hand but I could still feel the

slightly salty taste on my lips assobs of anguish began to pour out

I just wanted to hang out with my

brother Why couldnrsquot he be my

friend too

J u s t a f e w

h o u r s

b e f o

r e I h a d

s t a r e d a t

m y o

l d e r b

r o t h

e r S t e v e

i n c o

m p

l e t e s u r p

r i s e

w a i t i n

g f o r h

i m t o

t e

l l

m e t h

a t h e w

a s o n

l y

j o k i n g ldquo W

e l l d o y o

u

w a n

t t o p

l a y rdquo S t e v e

a s k e d i m p

a

t i e n t l y

I w

e n t i n t o t h e

r o o m w h

e r e t h e

o l d e r b o y s

w e r e

s e t t i n g u p

t h e b o a r d

g a m e A s t h e

g a m e s t a r t e d

w i t h

e v e r y o n e s t r a t e g i c a l l y

p l a c i n g

t h e i r g a m

e

p i e c e s

I f e l t l i k e

I w

a s d r e a

m i n g F o r

t h e fi r s t t i m

e

I f e l t e q u a l t o

m y b r o t h e r mdash

n o t l i k e I

w a s j u s t h i s

t a g a l o n g

T h e d r e a m

e n d e d q u i c k

l y h o w e v e r

T h e

g a m e w

a s t o u g h

a n d m y i n

e x p e r i e n c e

a n d l a c k

o f k n o w l e d g e

b e c

a m e

p a i n f u l l y o b v i o u s

a s t h e o t

h e r

p l a y e r s q u i c k l y

a n d

s o u n d l y d e f e a t e d

m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2852

26 N e w E r a

Le983137r983150i983150983143 the i983150s 983137983150d outs of d983137ti983150983143 c983137983150 be h983137rd Let this course tur983150 you

i983150to 983137 d983137ti983150983143 983152ro

By Matthew ORichardson

Served as Second

Counselor in theSunday SchoolGeneral Presidencyfrom 2009 to 2014

hile speaking to youth about how to prepare for a celestial marriage

President Thomas S Monson emphasized that ldquoproper dating is a part

of preparation for marriagerdquo 1 Have you thought much about happy

relationships Elder Russell M Nelson of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said a ldquocelestial marriage brings greater possibilities for happiness than

does any other relationshiprdquo2

When I was serving as bishop in a young single adult ward I worried about those

who approached dating with very little purpose understanding or direction This

caused me to wonder if my own children would be any different when their time came

My wife and I decided to help our children prepare for ldquoproper datingrdquo and happy rela-tionships by creating the Richardson Dating Academy or RDA as our children call it

It wasnrsquot long after we started the RDA that friends of our children wanted to partici-

pate and even become RDA graduates So how about you Are you ready to become a

dating academy graduate yourself Class is in session

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 27

Lesso983150 1 ur983152oses 983137983150d St983137983150d983137rds of D983137ti983150983143

Lesso983150 2 W983137tch 983137983150d Le983137r983150

Homework

As you know ldquodatingrdquo means different things to differ-

ent people Your first assignment is to figure out just what

a ldquodaterdquo is according to Church standards Can you explain

the purposes of dating and the specific dating standards and

guidelines set by the Church Or do you know when itrsquosmost appropriate to be involved in dating and steady dating

(having a boyfriend or girlfriend)

You can find answers to these questions in the ldquoDatingrdquo

section of For the Strength of Youth The First Presidency

reminds us why knowing and understanding these stan-

dards are so important They promise ldquoThe standards in this

Elder Jeffrey R Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles once explained that most athletic contests have ldquolines

drawn on the floor or the field within which every participant

must stay in order to competerdquo3 Success depends on how

well a competitor knows and stays within the set boundaries

Likewise itrsquos important to know the ldquodating linesrdquo or the pur-

poses and standards of dating as taught by Church leaders

One of the most com-

mon ways people learn

is by watching others

Dating is no different

In the dating academy

we spend time observ-

ing others in dating

situations In our family

we learned many point-ersmdashsome to do others

to avoidmdashby watching

dates in progress at

restaurants and other

settings Yes we went to

certain places with the

sole purpose to observe

dates for ldquoclassrdquo

booklet will help you with the important choices you are

making now and will yet make in the futurerdquo4

Now that you have a solid foundation of the stan-

dards and purposes of dating (you did do your home-

work and read that section didnrsquot you) itrsquos time to move

on to lesson 2

Tips

Here are some suggestions that will help you learn

as you observe

bull Watch but donrsquot be creepy This is about learning from

others but not stalking staring or even judging Look for

things you like and things you would like to avoid

bull Go to a variety of places and settings to observe others

Not every date is the same nor should it be Watch how thesetting affects the experience

bull Watch how people interact with each other Can you tell

who is with whom Are they paying attention to each

other In what ways Are they talking with each other Do

they look like they enjoy being with each other How can

you tell if they are having fun

bull Talk with a parent leader or good friends and share what

you noticed and what you learned

Homework

The next time you go

out to eat attend a movie

or go to almost any activ-

ity make an effort to look

around and see how other

people are interacting It

may surprise you to see

how much dating is actu-ally going on Take the

time to learn from those

around you by paying

attention to whatrsquos work-

ing and what isnrsquot

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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28 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 3 l983137983150983150i983150983143 983137 D983137te

Tips

bull Start planning early

bull Donrsquot be afraid to bounce ideas off your friendsparents and others They can provide excellent

suggestions that you havenrsquot even thought about

bull Make sure you let your budget amount of time

available the reasons for dating and Church stan-

dards guide your planning

bull Think of what you hope will happen during the

date from beginning to end This helps you realize

what needs to be done to make the date a success

bull Pay attention to details Call ahead for event times

prices menus and what the proper dress is for

the occasion

bull Plan for emergencies For example what will you

do if you donrsquot have enough money or have car

trouble What if your date gets sick

Homework

Rather than leaving everything to chance dating acad-

emy grads understand what needs to happen and theyplan accordingly

Your homework assignment even if yoursquore years away

from dating is to practice planning an event You can

brainstorm with friends really fun ideas for a date Then

work together to think of what planning is required to

make those ideas actually happen Or you can ask your

parents to let you plan the next family outing

You might choose a place to eat or what to do Plan all

the details (event times travel time cost backup plans)

and then put your plan into action You could evencome up with a dating plan complete with backup ideas

if something goes wrong and share it in family home

evening while talking together around the dinner table

or with friends You may find that properly planning an

activity is almost as much fun as the actual date

The quality of experience yoursquoll have with others is

often determined by what happens before a date begins

Showing up on your datersquos doorstep with no plan is a

recipe for an awkward experience Nobody likes playing

the ldquoWhat do you want to dordquo game

Yoursquore better than that With a little practice you can

become a date-planning champion And young women

no fair skipping this section While most of the time young

men plan and ask for dates yoursquoll still want to have these

skills down for when itrsquos your turn

Group Date IdeasNeed ideas Check out ldsorggoideasNE8 Some

of the youth activities there could be adapted for dates

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Homework

In the Richardson Dating Academy all of our

children practiced dating invitations For example

our children might call an aunt older sibling or other

family member to practice inviting someone on a

date Or our son or daughter would receive an invita-

tion from a family member and practice responding

They learned how to deal with rejection acceptance

or even a disinterested response or two

Now itrsquos your turn Working with your parents ask

them to line up somebody in your family you can call

and practice inviting on a date Make sure you do this

more than once

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 29

You know your dating standards front and back

yoursquove watched others in dating situations and

yoursquove come up with a solid date plan

Congratulations Now you still need to invite

someone Or you need to know how to respond

when you are invited So whatrsquos the best way A

phone call Ask in person Here are some different

points to consider

Lesso983150 4 I983150viti983150983143 Others 983137983150d Bei983150983143 I983150vited

Tips

bull Be ready to give details when you invite

someone on a date Talk about what you have

planned start and end times whorsquos participat-ing and how they should dress (casual dressy

etc) Your excellent planning from academy

lesson 3 makes this part of the academy easy

bull Therersquos a time to talk by phone and a time to

ask face-to-face The more important the event

is the more personal the invitation should be

Donrsquot be afraid to skip technology and actually

talk with someone

bull Some events may require you to speak with

your datersquos parents first This shows respectand courtesy

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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30 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 5 O983150 the D983137te

It would be impossible for any dating academy to cover

every little thing to consider or plan for in dating So much

depends on good judgment communication with your par-

ents and listening to the Spirit

Still here are a few key points you might want to brush

up on before putting your date plan into action

Tips

bull Develop a ldquoyou firstrdquo attitude This means you always

think of your date first Is he or she having fun Is he or

she comfortable

bull Make sure you dress appropriately for the occasion

The way you dress usually communicates how you feelabout others and about the event Know the difference

between casual (but never sloppy) semiformal and

formal and when it would be appropriate to dress in

those ways

bull Show common courtesy by opening doors saying

thank you talking less about yourself and more about

your date and extending sincere compliments

bull Learn how to navigate restaurants Know how to make

a reservation get a table calculate a service tip and

pay the bill

Homework

Once again the best way to learn any good skill is by practic-

ing it Our youth enjoyed role-playing different situations

to think about how to act most appropriately We

also loved going out to eat as part of the dating acad-

emy experience Our children learned how to act in

a restaurant order a meal calculate the tip and paythe bill by actually doing it when they were with us

Look for opportunities to practice skills you should use on a

date For example the next time you and your family go some-

where ask your parents to let you purchase the tickets order

the meal or calculate the tip Treat your family or friends with

the same respect and courtesy that you should show others on a

date Open doors for your family be the first to say ldquothank yourdquo

and pay attention so you are part of the conversation

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 31

Lesso983150 6 The Doorste983152

NOTES

1 Thomas S Monson ldquoPreparation BringsBlessingsrdquo Ensign May 2010 64

2 Russell M Nelson ldquoCelestial Marriagerdquo Ensign Nov 2008 93

3 Jeffrey R Holland ldquoWe Are All Enlistedrdquo Ensign Nov 2011 45

4 ldquoMessage to the Youth from The First Presi-dencyrdquo For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

5 John Bytheway ldquoWhat Do Kisses Meanrdquo New Era Oct 2004 38ndash41

Last but not least dating

academy graduates know how

to conclude a date on the right

note Nothing sours a great date

more than a bad ending

Herersquos how you can finish a

date with success

Tips

bull Express gratitude Be sincere

and to the point If there was something you especially

liked tell your date what

it was

bull Therersquos no reason for drag-

ging things on at this point

Yoursquove already spent plenty

of time together Avoid the

ldquodoorstep shufflerdquo When

people arenrsquot sure what to

say they tend to shuffle backand forth or move their feet

in place If you find yourself

ldquoshufflingrdquo in place itrsquos a

pretty good signal that you

need to say good-bye

bull Know and follow the

Churchrsquos counsel on kissing

and physical intimacy (You

might also want to read John

Bythewayrsquos article ldquoWhat Do

Kisses Meanrdquo5 at ldsorggo

kissesNE8)

Homework

Yes herersquos another opportunity for practicing Our family has spent several family

home evenings role-playing doorstep good-byes Itrsquos been both helpful and fun to

watch an older sibling coach the younger sibling with dorsquos and donrsquots

Most memorable was an older sister showing how she could turn a hug into a

handshake with the grace of a princess and the speed of a ninja You too can get

together with family members and role-play different scenarios that might happen on

a doorstep We guarantee itrsquoll be an academy night yoursquoll all remember

Gr983137du983137tio983150

If yoursquove studied all the

material worked on the tips done

the homework and talked through

the lessons with your parents and

family you too can become a

dating academy graduate

As you continue strengthening

these important skills yoursquoll find

support strength and power that

will bless your relationships both

now and in the future You will be

better prepared for happiness NE

Do Try This at HomeInterested in having a dating academy at

home Let your parents know therersquos an RDAarticle for them in this monthrsquos Ensign or atldsorggoRDA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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32 N e w E r a

S U N DA Y L E S S

O N S

This Monthrsquos Topic

Ma r r iage a nd

Fa m i l y

MARRIAGE IS WORTH ITldquoIt is so rewarding to bemarried Marriage is wonder-ful In time you begin to thinkalike and have the same ideasand impressions You havetimes when you are extremelyhappy times of testing andtimes of trial but the Lordguides you through all ofthose growth experiencestogetherrdquo

Elder Richard G Scott of the

Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo

Ensign May 2011 96

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 33

We love being marr ied and he

rersquos why

By Ben and Rachel Nielsen

Letrsquos face it girls (and boys) itrsquos nice to know that someone loves you

And when yoursquore married you have chances to share and receive love every

day When I was talking to my parents about the possibility of marrying

Ben my dad said ldquoWhomever you choose to marry I want him to fre-

quently and sincerely express his love for you like Elder Richard G Scott did

for his wiferdquo3 I listened to Dad

I decided to marry Ben and he has always made an effort to express

his love to me in small and big ways During my senior year of college I

worked for months to prepare apply and interview for a prestigious intern-ship And when I finally heard that I got the job I came home and saw a

vase full of flowers from my husband He knew how hard I had worked and

how much the internship meant to me At other times hersquoll hide my favorite

drink and a love note in the fridge before he heads out for a weekend Scout

camp And every day hersquoll do the dishes and make me laugh Ben is great at

expressing his love for me and that brings both of us great joy

During my mission in Brazil I grew to love soccer One thing that I lovemost about this sport is having teammates and learning how to work together

with my team Rachel is a fantastic teammate She helps me achieve my

goals joins me in making important decisions and is there for me when I

have trouble

When we were sealed in the temple we promised to ldquohelp one another as

equal partnersrdquo2 Rachel and I strive to support each other in everything we

do and itrsquos great to know that I always have a reliable teammate

After our first date we both

knew we wanted to go

on a second date Ben

wanted to go on

another date because Rachel was

friendly and fun to talk to Rachel

wanted to go on another date

because Ben was a gentleman

and was still smiling after all of

his well-laid plans fell through

After the second date plus manymore dates and prayers after

that we fell in love and decided

to get married in the Sacramento

California Temple

The wedding day was abso-

lutely perfect and we have loved

being married ever since The

world may see marriage differ-

ently but we know that ldquono other

relationship of any kind canbring as much joy generate as

much good or produce as much

personal refinementrdquo1 Marriage

is awesome and herersquos why

FROM BEN A T e a m m a t e

FROM RACHEL

E x p r e s s i o n s o f L o v e

WHY MARRIAGE IS

A w e s o m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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34 N e w E r a

JOIN THE CONVERSATION

Things to Ponder for Sunday

bull What qualities and attitudes make for the strongest

and happiest marriages and families

bull What are you doing now that will help your future

marriage and family stay strong and happy

Things You Might Do

bull Share with some friends your goal of marrying and

having a family and tell them why

bull In church share why you are looking forward

to marriage and family and how you are pre-

paring for them

serving in the Church and inviting others to come unto

Christ As we work together to build the kingdom of God

we grow closer our love deepens and life is more fulfilling

Dating Rachel is so much fun In fact we make surethat we still frequently go on dates even as a married

couple After we first met we found that we enjoy many

of the same activities walking through parks attending

plays watching sporting events eating new and different

food listening to music and so much more I loved doing

these things before I met Rachel but theyrsquore even more

fun now that we get to share them together When yoursquore

married you have someone to enjoy life withmdashand that

makes life awesome

Before I met Ben I was nearing the age of missionary

service and had seriously considered serving a full-time

mission But then Ben entered my life and I knew that

Heavenly Father had a different plan for me

When Ben and I got engaged relatives who knew

about my thoughts to serve a mission asked me about my

choice and I would tell them ldquoI decided that I wanted topick my own missionary companionmdashand stay with him

for eternityrdquo

When yoursquore married you and your spouse have the

chance to participate in the work of salvation together

Ben and I have found great joy in building a Christ-

centered home studying and living the gospel together

Despite what the world may say marriage is awesome

and is worth making a priority When yoursquore married you

have a teammate you give and receive love you enjoy life

more fully and you have someone to build the kingdom

of God with All of that brings us great joy and because

we were sealed in the temple we can have this joy forever

If we keep our covenants we will be together for eternityand receive the crowning blessings of the priesthood We

ldquohave found in marriage the richest fulfillment of human

existencerdquo 4 NE

Ben and Rachel Nielsen live in Utah USA

NOTES

1 L Whitney Clayton ldquoMarriage Watch and Learnrdquo Ensign May 2013 83 2 ldquoThe Family A Proclamation to the Worldrdquo Ensign Nov 2010 129 3 See Richard G Scott ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo Ensign May

2011 96 4 James E Faust ldquoEnriching Your Marriagerdquo Ensign Apr 2007 6

FROM BEN M o r e E n jo y m e n t

FROM RACHEL A n E t e r n a l M is s i o n a r y C o m p a n io n

TAKE IT FROM US

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Your family can help unite the family of GodYou can all share the gospel in natural and pleasant ways

P H O T O I L L U S T R A T I O N B Y D A V I D S T O K E R

M O R M O N A D

(See M Russell Ballard ldquoPut Your Trust in the Lordrdquo Ensign Nov 2013 43)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 3852

36 N e w E r a

By Alex Larsen

I always knew I wanted to be a mother but when I was grow-

ing up it wasnrsquot always on my mind When my fianceacute and I

were engaged one day I was talking with one of my college

professorsmdasha woman I greatly admiredmdashabout my engage-

ment She said something that brought my life choices into sharp

focus ldquoYou are wasting your talentrdquo she told me as she shook

her head She went on to say that someone as smart as I was

should not get married young She assumed I would have chil-

dren in my future and would be ldquothrowing awayrdquo my education

and chances of a stellar career on my future motherhood I could

tell by the way she looked at me that she thought I was making

a terrible and naiumlve mistake

Itrsquos been several years since that conversation and my hus-

band and I have two little girls Kate is three years old and is

my little sweetheart She moves through life at a leisurely pace

savoring all of the little details she notices Annabel is one yearold with bright blue eyes and a head of curls Shersquos exuberant

and determined Though I didnrsquot change my mind because of

what my professor said our discussion has stayed with me In

one way my professorrsquos predictions were correct I do not have

a prestigious working career But my professor got the most

important point wrong because I have wasted nothing

g i v i n

g u p e v e r y

t hi n g

but wh a t

I

g a i n ed

w as w o r t h so much m o r e

T h e wor l d t o l d me

I w ould

b e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 37

their spirits growing and developing I remember

the first time Kate pointed to a picture of the Savior and

said ldquoJesusrdquo I knew then that what I was doing was eter-

nally significant in the lives of my children

The world often tells us that lifersquos rewards come in

the form of status money or grand accomplishments

but I know therersquos great satisfaction even in the small

acts of changing diapers or wiping sticky fingers Every

little thing I do as a mother is part of helping to build the

kingdom of God by nurturing His children I always knew

I wanted children but it was not until I held my first baby

in my arms that I began to realize how much my heart

was capable of loving

The love I have for my daughters has helped me bet-

ter understand how much my Heavenly Father loves all

of His children When speaking of little children Jesustaught that ldquoof such is the kingdom of heavenrdquo (Matthew

1914) More than anything motherhood has helped me

to grow as a daughter of God because now I know what

a daughter of God looks like from the eyes of a parent

The world makes us think that a woman loses herself in

motherhoodmdashshe loses her body her free time and her

career But I have found myself in motherhood I feel

more beautiful and more valuable than ever before NE

Alex Larsen lives in California USA

I love the opportunity to stay home and care for my

young children because these are the most formative

years of their lives I have the opportunity to create a rich

home environment for my girls by reading and discussing

things with them as part of our everyday life Kate will

often astound me by remembering and commenting on

something wersquod read in a book several weeks before and

Annabel learns a new skill almost every day But as fun

and important as it is to watch them learn new

information and skills I feel the

most satisfied when I see

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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38 N e w E r a

One o f t h e g r e a t e s t ad v enture s o f y o u r l i f e w i l l b e y our rol e a n d c a l l i n g a s a f a t her

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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ROcksROcksROcks

NOTE

1 See Thomas S Monson ldquoWelcome to Conferencerdquo Ensign Nov 2012 4ndash5

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 39

DA D D A DD AD

By Chris Deaver

W

hen I was younger I loved spending time

with my dad He always knew the bestgames to play the best stories to tell at night

and the most interesting sports to try It was

like he was born to be a great dad

Fast-forward my life to when I married my sweetheart

Julia and then even further to the moment that our first

child Daniel was born I was filled with a rush of emo-

tions I was happy shocked amazed and a little scared

I felt totally inadequate to be a father and to have the

responsibility of teaching and being an example to my son

But I quickly realized that Irsquod been preparing all my life tobe a dad When I held my son in my arms for the first time

and looked down into his face I felt the Spirit touch my

heart and I realized that I was ready to try to be a great

dad just like my own dad was to me

When Daniel was very young he already had a great

sense of humor He learned to tell hilarious jokes that

would make my wife and me laugh He also often said

things that inspired us Shortly after hearing President

Thomas S Monson announce the change in age require-

ments for young men and young women preparingto serve missions1 we were driving in the car Daniel

announced that he would start preparing himself right

then at age six so he would have 12 years of preparation

Then he said with a smile ldquoDad can I change the song

from lsquoI Hope They Call Me on a Missionrsquo to lsquoI AM Going on

a Missionrsquordquo It was awesome

WHYbeing a

Three years after Daniel was born he was followed by his

brother Austin For me as a dad itrsquos been great to watch bothboys become best friends And Austin has been just as fun

as Daniel in his own way He enjoys building and destroying

block towers and one of his favorite activities is to fearlessly

wrestle me as if I stand no chance against his four-year-old

powers Of course I give in and let him winmdashso I guess I

reinforce his belief But itrsquos so much fun I know hersquoll be a

great wrestler but what I want most is for him to wrestle

ldquoagainst the rulers of the darkness of this worldrdquo and ldquoagainst

spiritual wickednessrdquo like it says in the scriptures (Ephesians

612) And I hope Irsquom helping to prepare him to do that We just recently had our third child a baby girl named

Faith During the delivery my wife was having some com-

plications and we were scared for our baby I gave Julia

a blessing Then she asked me to sing to her The Spirit

brought peace to both of us Soon baby Faith came safely

into the world It was a miracle and she definitely lived up

to her name Faithrsquos beautiful smile brightens my life I canrsquot

express in words how much she means to me

For any young man still wondering let me tell you You

were born to be a great dad The world may not agree butfatherhood is the best Someday yoursquoll find that your kids

inspire you too and that being a dad is the greatest adven-

ture of your life Yes itrsquos a duty and something you need to

take seriously but being a dad is unlike anything else NE

Chris Deaver lives in Florida USA

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40 N e w E r a

We always seem to be encouraged to read more

because well everyone knows that reading is a

good thing But not all books are worth reading and just

because sexual material is written about rather than pho-

tographed or video recorded doesnrsquot mean that itrsquos less

morally hazardous Making a common display of a sacred

intimacy thatrsquos intended to only be part of a marriage rela-

tionship is wrongmdashwhether in words or imagesIf something yoursquore reading contains explicit sexual

descriptions that imprint themselves on your mind and

arouse sexual feelings in the same way that looking at

pornographic images would then guess what Itrsquos pornog-

raphy Remember the counsel in For the Strength of Youth

ldquoChoose wisely when using media because whatever you

read listen to or look at has an effect on you Select only

media that uplifts yourdquo ([2011] 11) NE

T O T H E P O I N T

President Boyd K

Packer President of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoEach

of us must come to ourown personal testimony

of the Lord Jesus Christ

We then share that testi-

mony with our family and

othersrdquo1 It can sometimes

be easy to question the

depth of your testimony

I know looking at pornographic

pictures is wrong but whatabout reading books with

ldquoromanticrdquo scenes

If I donrsquot have a burning

desire to share thegospel does that mean I

donrsquot have a testimony

when you compare your-

self to people like Brigham

Young who once said ldquoI

wanted to thunder and

roar out the gospel to thenations It burned in my

bones like fire pent uprdquo2

So what if you donrsquot feel

fire in your bones

Hopefully your lack of

desire doesnrsquot come from

a lack of concern for your

fellowmen As your faith in

Jesus Christ grows so does

your love of all people a

love that is a mark of the

true followers of Christ (see

Moroni 748 John 1335)

Itrsquos likely however

that your hesitancy sim-

ply comes from fear and

anxiety about speaking toothers For many people

such feelings can be over-

whelming Even prophets

have had doubts about their

ability to speak to people

(see Exodus 410 Moses

631) They of course

had no reason to question

their testimoniesmdashand

neither should you if you

are studying the scriptures

pondering praying fasting

repenting and doing all the

other things that help bring

the Spirit into your life

If you feel you just

need a little extra cour-age to share the gos-

pel visit ldsorggo

shareNE8 for ideas NE

NOTES

1 Boyd K Packer ldquoThe Witnessrdquo Ensign May 2014 96

2 Teachings of Presidents ofthe Church Brigham Young (1997) viii

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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C O M E F O L L O W M E

Family

983152983137tter983150 of

President Boyd K PackerPresident of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

April 2014 general conference

The ultimate end

of all activity in

the Church is that

a man and his wife

and their childrencan be happy

at home

The FamilyYoursquoll be studying about the family in your Sunday classes

this month As you study and discuss family you may pon-der these questions Why do Church leaders emphasize

family so much What is the place of family in Heavenly

Fatherrsquos plan How does family help make us happy

To find some answers to these questions see the

family proclamation near the back of your Personal

Progress or Duty to God booklet or online at ldsorg

gofamilyNE8 Yoursquoll also find teachings about

family relationships in general conference talks at

conferenceldsorg

Give yourself an easy reminder to prepare for your

Sunday lessons on the family Just place these cards

in your scriptures locker or bedroom You can also

download or share them online at ldsorggocardsNE8 B A C K G R O U N D T E X T U R E

B Y I S T O C K P H O T O T H I N K S T O C K

We 983150eed We 983150eed

MOR E

983155tre983150983143the983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

RELATIONSHIPS

983153u983137lity 983153u983137lity TIME amp EFFORT INTO

TO PUT

983155re983150983143te983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4452

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4552

T H E E X T R A S M I L E

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 43

I dont like to pack so I rsquo m just wearing all my stuff

JON CLARK

W h a t m a k e s y o

u t h i n k

D a d rsquo s t a l k i n g t o

t h e

p r o p h e t

B ecaus e h e s ai d h e w as on a conf er ence cal l

RYAN STOKER

F r o m n o w o n j u s t t a k e

a p i c t u r e o f t h e t o o t h a n

d

u p l o a d i t t o m y F a c e b o o k

p a g e

a n d t h e n I rsquo l l s e n d y o u t h e

m o n e y t h r o u g h P a y P a l

RANDY GLASBERGEN

[Gasp] He he made h is bed this morning

And I didnrsquo t even ask

VAL CHADWICK BAGLEY

Who says there arenrsquo t modern m iracles

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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44 N e w E r a

ldquoMymom works

Since you donrsquot see your mom often make sure that

the time you do have together is used well You

could talk to your mom about how to do this She

wants a good relationship with you too and will

help you work on it Try asking her what she would

appreciate coming home to a clean house doing an activity

together just talking with you As you regularly do activities your mom appreciates your relationship will improve

Of course you could plan some fun activities to do together

but any meaningful time togethermdashsuch as washing the dishes

or reading the scripturesmdashcan be a great way to build your

relationship

Also plan time for communication Understanding one

another is a key ingredient in good relationships One thing

to discuss is how your momrsquos work schedule will affect your

relationship with her You can avoid misunderstandings if you

talk about your expectations as well as your momrsquosPrayer will help Families are important to Heavenly Father

so He can inspire you to know how to improve your relation-

ship with your mom Donrsquot ignore a prompting to do something

that seems small (see Alma 376) A hug and a smile for exam-

ple can make a big difference NE

Write a Note

Even if you have very

little time together you

can still express your

love to your mother

Write her thoughtful secret notes As

she reads them at work she will think

of you Do as much as you can for

her Think about her more often and

pray for her Ask the Lord to inspire

you and prompt you regarding how

you can improve your relationship Irinka E 20 Odessa Ukraine

Seek to Understand Her

Try to understand her situation

because she works for your benefit

You can begin by helping with things

at home like cleaning the house

helping your siblings and cooking

You also can share scriptures with

your mom pray together and doactivities that you like to do together

Morony M 18 Chihuahua Mexico

Have a Special Sunday

On some Sundays we

have a special lunch

or dinner with a new

dessert we talk and at

the end we sing hymns This brings

us together and helps us be betterfriends

Rebeca N 12 Satildeo Paulo Brazil

Try an Experiment

We arrange time to be together hav-

ing family home evening playing

games going to the beach having

lunch together All of this helps to

Q U E S T I O N S amp A N S W E R S

all day Howcan I improve our

relationshiprdquo

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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keep the flame of a good relationship

alive When we disagree we avoid

criticizing I know that sometimes I

ask not to do housework but this

contributes to disharmony in the

home Since I began this experiment

mdashcomplaining less lowering my

voice helping more with housework

and talking more with my mothermdash

a sweet spirit has developed in our

home and we cooperate more

Glenda C 18 Bahia Brazil

Help at Home

Do some extra chores

around the house Your

mom has been work-

ing all day If she has

less work to do when she gets home

shersquoll probably be happier and have

more time to talk and do things with

you While you are talking you canask about her day at work It will

show her that you care and it will

open doors for other topics of discus-

sion allowing you to grow closer

Heather B 18 Oregon USA

Find Something You BothLike to Do

My mumrsquos relationship with me

skyrocketed when I said ldquoI want tospend more time with you but I donrsquot

know what to do or when to do itrdquo

Playing board games happens to be

our favorite pastime So we set aside

a time together to play laugh and

make memories When you are open

with your parents eventually they

become your best companions You

UPCOMING QUESTION

ldquoMy parents just

got divorced Irsquom angry that they

have broken up our

family How doI forgive themrdquo

Send your answer and photo by

September 15 2014

Go to neweraldsorg click ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo enter your LDS Accountand then select ldquoNew Erardquo

Responses may be edited for length

or clarity

Responses are intended for help and per-

spective not as official pronouncements ofChurch doctrine

will be able to talk to them about

anything and you will be sure of an

honest answer That is the sign of a

mature relationship

Ephraim S 15 New South Wales Australia

Read Scriptures Together

Both of you could set a goal to read

together every day even just five

minutes from the Book of Mormon

or any other Church book It will

strengthen your relationship andnourish you with the word of God

so you can be ready to face each day

Remember also to pray to God and

ask for His help I know He hears you

and loves you

Laura M 19 Coacuterdoba Argentina

LEARN FROM

YOUR MOTHER

ldquoPlease look to yourfaithful mothers fora pattern to followModel yourselves

after them not after celebritieswhose standards are not the Lordrsquosstandards and whose values maynot reflect an eternal perspectiveLook to your mother Learn fromher strengths her courage andher faithfulness Listen to her She

may not be a whiz at texting shemay not even have a Facebookpage But when it comes to mat-ters of the heart and the thingsof the Lord she has a wealth ofknowledgerdquo

Elder M Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles ldquoMothers and Daughtersrdquo

Ensign May 2010 19

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46 N e w E r a

MISERABLE TOTHE END OFTHE STREET

For one family home evening my

dad wanted to take advantage

of a pause in the rainy weather

to go on a walk around the neighbor-

hood I grumbled and complained

that it was too wet and muddy to

go walking I used the excuse that

I had a ballet recital that week and

didnrsquot want to sprain an ankle but

my dad didnrsquot buy it He insisted thatit was going to be the activity for the

evening I murmured a bit more about

the unfairness and my recital but we

left on the walk anyway

As I glumly stomped outside for

the walk with my family I was deter-

mined not to smile or be happy I

succeeded in feeling miserable until

I N S T A N T M E S S A G E S

we reached the end of the street Then

we turned the corner and I saw in full

force naturersquos beauty and wonder

Before me was a gorgeous sunset

and opposite it was a rainbow arching

above our neighborhood rooftops

I immediately forgot all about being

miserable and looked around in awe

On the way home I said a prayer of

gratitude thanking God for the beautyof His creations I later thanked my

dad for choosing the activity and for

allowing us to enjoy nature for that

family home evening

Jennie H North Carolina USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 47

STANDARDS AND FRIENDS

Since Irsquove been in school Irsquove had friends who havenrsquot understood the

moral standards of our religion At first it was difficult but over time

my friends have become used to the idea of my being morally clean I

made a goal in my life to be clean and pure and itrsquos worked out well both

for me and for those who used to criticize me Over time respect peace and

joy have become a part of our loving circle of friends

Vitoacuteria M Brazil

A DIFFICULT DECISION

FORGIVINGMY FRIENDS

As the only member of the

Church in my peer group

Irsquove experienced some

instances when my friends have

offended me Sometimes they judge

and criticize my religion I feel so

alone yet Irsquom thankful I know the

standards of the Church

If my friends offend me I try to

humble myself and avoid contention

because I know contention is evil When they start discussing some mat-

ters about the Church I just testify of

my belief in the gospel

I always forgive my friends with or

without their apology Forgiving is not

just about saying ldquoApology acceptedrdquo

or ldquoItrsquos OKrdquo because forgiveness has

a deep meaning Jesus Christ atoned

for our sins so that Heavenly Father

can forgive usEven though my friends donrsquot

understand my faith now I know that

I can be Godrsquos instrument to teach

them the gospel I am helping them

and at the same time I am helping

myself to grow spiritually and prepare

to serve a mission

Joshua V Philippines

As volleyball tryouts approached for my senior year in high

school I couldnrsquot believe the thought that was running through

my head I wasnrsquot supposed to play volleyball Irsquod played vol-

leyball since seventh grademdashwhy should this year be any different

Not seeing the sense in quitting I ignored the feeling and continued

to participate in summer volleyball events After a while the feeling

came back so I decided that if I really wasnrsquot supposed to be on the

team my coach would just cut me during tryouts

Then one night at the gym I couldnrsquot focus on the game at all I felt

terrible and restless inside I came home frustrated with my team and

with myself I sat next to my mom and sister and cried I told them

how confused I was and my mom told me to pray and ask Heavenly

Father what He wanted me to do I went up to my room and began to

pray I told Heavenly Father how I felt then I asked Him to help mefeel peace if I was not supposed to continue playing volleyball I felt

His peace in my heart and knew that I needed to quit

Irsquom still not sure all the reasons why that was the right

decision but I know that itrsquos what the Lord

wanted me to do and thatrsquos a good

enough reason for me

The next morning I told my

coach and my teammates that

I wasnrsquot going to be playing

Even though it was incrediblyhard I knew I was doing

the right thing

Klaire B Arizona USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5152

you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5252

WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 552

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 3

a temptation that recycles in the mind perhaps to become

a habit then an addiction We are prone to some transgres-

sion and sin and also a rationalization that we have no guilt

because we were born that way We become trapped and

hence comes the pain and torment that only the Savior can

heal You have the power to stop and to be redeemed

A Rattlesnake Named Pornography

President Marion G Romney (1897ndash1988) First

Counselor in the First Presidency told me once ldquoDonrsquot just

tell them so that they can understand tell them so that theycannot misunderstandrdquo

So listen up I will speak plainly as one called and under

obligation to do so

You live in a day when the scourge of pornography

is sweeping across the world It is hard to escape it

Pornography is focused on that part of your nature through

which you have the power to beget life

To indulge in pornography leads to difficulties divorce

disease and troubles of a dozen kinds There is no part of

it that is innocent To collect it view it or carry it around in

any form is akin to keeping a rattlesnake in your backpack

It exposes you to the inevitable spiritual equivalent of theserpentrsquos strike with its injection of deadly venom One

can easily understand with the world being what it is that

you can almost innocently be exposed to it to read it or to

view it without realizing the terrible consequences If thatCollecting or viewing pornography is akin to keeping a rattlesnake

in your backpack

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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4 N e w E r a

describes you I warn you to stop it Stop it now

The Book of Mormon teaches that all people ldquoare

instructed sufficiently that they know good from evilrdquo

(2 Nephi 25) That includes you You know what is rightand what is wrong Be very careful not to cross that line

Although most mistakes can be confessed privately to

the Lord there are some transgressions that require more

than that to bring about forgiveness If your mistakes

have been grievous see your bishop Otherwise ordinary

confession quietly and personally will do But remember

that great morning of forgiveness may not come all at once

If at first you stumble do not give up Overcoming discour-

agement is part of the test Do not give up And as I have

counseled before once you have confessed and forsaken your sins do not look back

The Lord is always there He is willing to suffer and

pay the penalty if you are willing to accept Him as your

Redeemer

The Saviorrsquos Suffering for Our Sins

As mortals we may notmdashindeed cannotmdashunderstand

fully how Jesus Christ fulfilled His atoning sacrifice But for

now the how is not as important as the why of His suffer-

ing Why did He do it for you for me for all of humanity

He did it for the love of God the Father and all mankind

ldquoGreater love hath no man than this that a man lay down

his life for his friendsrdquo ( John 1513)

In Gethsemane Christ went apart from His Apostles to

pray Whatever transpired is beyond our power to know

But we do know that He completed the Atonement He

was willing to take upon Himself the mistakes the sins and

guilt the doubts and fears of all the world He suffered for

us so that we would not have to suffer

Complete Forgiveness Is Possible

If you have stumbled or even been lost for a time if

you feel that the adversary now holds you captive you

can move forward with faith and not wander to and fro in

the world any longer There are those who stand ready to

guide you back to peace and security The grace of God

as promised in the scriptures comes ldquoafter all we can dordquo

(2 Nephi 2523) The possibility of this to me is the truth

most worth knowingI promise that the brilliant morning of forgiveness can

come Then ldquothe peace of God which passeth all under-

standingrdquo (Philippians 47) comes into your life once again

something like a sunrise and you and He ldquowill remember

[your] sin no morerdquo ( Jeremiah 3134) How will you know

you have been forgiven You will know (See Mosiah

41ndash3)

This is what I have come to teach you who are in

trouble He will step in and solve the problem you

cannot solve but you have to pay the price It does notcome without doing that He is a very kind ruler in the

sense that He will always pay the price necessary but He

wants you to do what you should even if it is painful

I love the Lord and I love the Father who sent Him

Our burdens of disappointment sin and guilt can

be laid before Him and on His generous terms each

item on the account can be marked ldquopaid in fullrdquo (See

Isaiah 118ndash19)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 5

Live Faithfully and Remain Worthy

The scripture ldquolearn wisdom in thy youth yea learn in thy

youth to keep the commandments of Godrdquo (Alma 3735) is

an invitation attended by the promise of peace and protec-

tion from the adversary (See also 1 Timothy 412)

Do not expect that all will go smoothly throughout

your life Even for those who are living as they should

it sometimes will be just the opposite Meet each of lifersquos

challenges with optimism and surety and you will have the

peace and faith to sustain you now and in the future

For those who do not yet have all of the blessings youfeel you want and need to have I firmly believe that no

experience or opportunity essential for redemption and

salvation will be denied you who live faithfully Remain

worthy be hopeful patient and prayerful Things have

a way of working out The gift of the Holy Ghost will guide

you and direct your actions

I know you as the youth of the Church and I under-

stand that yoursquore not perfect but you are moving along that

road Have courage Know that any person who has a body

has power over one who has not1 Satan is denied a body

so if ever you are confronted with temptations know that

you outrank all those temptations if you will exercise the

agency given to Adam and Eve in the garden and passed

on to this very generation NE From a devotional given at Brigham Young University on November 6 2011

For the full text go to speechesbyuedu

NOTE

1 See Teachings of Presidents of the Church Joseph Smith (2007) 211

I promise that the brilliant morning of forgiveness can come

Find help overcoming pornographyat ldsorggoovercomeNE8

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 852

6 N e w E r a

By Mindy Raye FriedmanChurch Magazines

When they meet someone they

offer the person a piece of banana

bread When the person accepts he

or she is told that although the bread

is delicious and good for the body

the missionaries have a message that

will be nourishing to the personrsquos soul

The young men and their companions

then invite the person to meet withthe missionaries In this way theyrsquove

been able to get 40 to 50 referrals for

the missionaries in a couple of hours

The young men also fellowship the

members of their own quorums On

Saturdays they meet for a Young Men

983137983150983137983150983137 Be983137d

For these young men sharing a slice of bread has blessed

countless lives including their own

activity and to work on Duty to

God Then they visit the less-active

members of their quorum They

encourage them to attend church

and then invite them to come back

to play sports or participate in

another activity

In this way and many others

these young men are preparing tobe lifelong missionaries Two of

them (at right) share how they feel

strengthened and inspired by their

experiences

Missionaries

If someone offered you a piece

of delicious banana bread how

would you react For the young

men in a ward in Ecuador thatrsquos

one way they start conversations

about the gospel

Every two months they have a

missionary day with open houses in a

different area of their ward They splitinto several teams each made up of

a young man a full-time or recently

returned missionary and an elder or

high priest Some of the groups work

at a tent some go to contact people

in the park and some go door to door

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Ihave been a member of the Church

for five years My parents are not

members but my uncle Jorge is

the Young Men president and he

has been a great support I am also

grateful to my bishop for his con-

stant support and encouragement

I decided to get closer to the

Church after one of the missionary

days they had in the ward It was

one of my first experiences that

motivated me to join the Church As

a deacon teacher and now a priestmy leaders have always supported

and encouraged me to participate

in all of the missionary work activ-

ities I like the open houses where

I have the opportunity to share

with others the blessing of being a

member of Christrsquos Church What

inspires me most are the service

Changed by

the Gospel

Your Missio983150983137ry Ex983152erie983150ce s

As a deacon I learned my

responsibilities thanks to the

support of my parents and lead-

ers and working with the goals

in the Duty to God booklet As a

teacher I learned more by going

to do visits as a home teacher

participating in the open houses

on the missionary days sharing

banana bread attending Mutual

and participating in ward and

stake activities

Now as a priest I get tofocus more on missionary work

Working with the Young Men

president and as an assistant to

the bishop I have learned much

more about my responsibilities as

a priesthood holder

Our leaders constantly invite

us to come with them and the

full-time missionaries so that we

can become familiar with mis-sionary work They also exhort

us to read the scriptures espe-

cially the Book of Mormon All

of these experiences motivate

and prepare me to receive the

higher priesthood and to serve

a full-time mission

Isaac G 17

Learning My

Responsibilities

activities where I have the oppor-

tunity to serve my neighbor as

Jesus taught us to do

A year ago my younger broth-

ers Luis age 15 and Israel age 12

joined the Church Together we

have been working on the projects

in Duty to God and since their

baptisms we have shared wonderful

experiences working together All of

the young men in the ward are very

close and we support each other

I know that baptism is the gateto enter the kingdom of heaven

When we are in the service of

our fellow beings we are in the

service of God (see Mosiah 217)

Missionary work blesses fami-

lies and I know that my life has

changed because of the gospel

Alvaro T 17

How have you shared the gospel through small and simple means

Share your stories by visiting neweraldsorg and clicking ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo or by emailing neweraldschurchorg

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 1052

8 N e w E r a

By Thomas E Robinson III

F R O M T H E M I S S I O N F I E L D

One small prompting can

change lives for the better

A M I RAC LE

ATT H E

AI RP O RT

s a new missionary in Japan I

had a hard time understanding

anyone let alone getting to

know them It was difficult

to learn to love people I didnrsquot even

know especially when I couldnrsquot

understand what they were saying

But I made an effort to show mylove for them and I appreciated their

efforts to reach out to me

Each week my companion and I

received a loaf of homemade bread

from a sister in the ward named Sister

Senba She showed her love for the

missionaries by baking homemade

bread and writing small but heartfelt

notes

I was touched that someone caredabout me I felt impressed to show my

gratitude to her in some small way

I wrote her a note expressing how

grateful I was for her and the sacri-

fices she and her family made to help

the missionaries We became friends

and I began to think of her as my

ldquomother away from homerdquo

A

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Months passed Early one

Wednesday morning I received a

call from my mission president

who asked me to transfer down to

Okinawa When I hung up the phone

I was filled with the most bittersweet

feeling I dreaded having to say my

good-byes Each phone call to tell

members of the ward I would be

leaving on the following day made

my heart hurt Saying good-bye to thepeople I had come to love so much

was more difficult than I had imag-

ined it would be

As I finished these calls I noticed

that the only one who had not

answered the phone was Sister Senba

I was sad I would not be able to say

good-bye to a member who had

become so close to my heart

The next morning two other mis-sionaries and I left for the airport

When we arrived at the ticket counter

and tried to buy tickets the work-

ers told us that our cards had been

declined We did not have any money

to pay for the tickets and the flight

was leaving in 10 minutes The three

of us were in a panic We were about

to miss the flight and be stranded at

the airport for the dayBut all of my panic turned to com-

fort when I turned around and saw

Sister Senba walk into the airport

I was shocked that she was there

because she hadnrsquot known what time

our flight was As she scrambled over

to us she smiled and gave us all bread

to bring onto the plane

As we explained to her that we

were going to miss our flight she

became saddened None of us knew

what to do Then Sister Senba began

rummaging through her purse look-

ing for something that could help us

She jumped happily into the air when

she found a small envelope in her

purse in which weeks ago she had

placed yen50000mdashthe exact amount of

money we needed She gave us the

At that moment I felt the Spirit

more strongly than I ever have before

Sister Senbarsquos example taught me how

important it is to follow the prompt-

ings of the Spiritmdashno matter how

small or strange the prompting might

seem Through these promptings we

have the power to change lives for

the better I know it was not a coinci-

dence that she came to the airport It

was a miracle

TRULY THE LORD USES SMALL MEANS TO

BRING ABOUT HIS WORK

money and we were able to get our

tickets in time We thanked her with

every ounce of gratitude our souls

could muster said good-bye and

rushed onto the plane After the plane took off my fellow

missionary turned to me and said

ldquoIsnrsquot she amazing That was

a miraclerdquo

I then realized how truly mirac-

ulous it really was He then said

ldquoWhat does your note sayrdquo I saw he

was reading a note that was with the

bread Sister Senba had given

him As I realized I had onetoo I pulled out the note

and read a small piece of

paper personally addressed

to me which immediately

made my eyes swell with

tears It said ldquoI love you

Please donrsquot forget me I

will never forget yourdquo

Truly the Lord uses small means to

bring about His work How blessed

we are as members of this Church to

have His influence in our lives Let

us all remain worthy to receive thesepromptings and bless the lives of the

children of God NE

Thomas E Robinson III lives in Utah USA

Editorrsquos note Sister Senba was promptly

reimbursed by the mission

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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When I got my first paycheck for my first real job (at a

sandwich shop) I rewarded myself with a shopping

spree I bought some music and a cute outfit After

spending every dollar Irsquod earned I thought about

my purchases

ldquoThere goes two whole weeks of workrdquo I

thought And a sick feeling started to grow inmy stomach

As I thought about all those hours of hard work mak-

ing sandwiches my superficial purchases hardly seemed

worth it I vowed to be more careful with my money

So from then on I saved every penny for college and a pos-

sible mission and never bought anything I wanted ever again

Yeah right

I was still a normal teenager who wanted stylish clothes

good music and fun activities with my friends But coming

from a big family I knew that if I wanted those things I wouldhave to save money to pay for them myself

It might sound impossible but I found ways to be finan-

cially prepared for the future and have fun at the same timemdash

even with a part-time job that didnrsquot pay very much Here are

some tips on how you can increase your ldquomoney smartsrdquo

10 N e w E r a

HOW TO BEMONEY SMART

By Arianne Cope

Y O U W O R K H A R D F O R Y O U R M O N E Y A fewi983149983152le 983152ri983150ci983152les c983137983150 983149983137ke your c983137sh 983143o further

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 1352

A BUDGET THAT WORKS

Yoursquove probably been told about budgets

from the day you earned your first nickel or

dime Thatrsquos because it really works A bud-get is a plan that will help you make the best

use of what you earn and save Herersquos one

way you can set up a budget of your own

1 Decide on a time frame for your budget

Most budgets plan for expenses monthly

2 Add up every dollar you plan to make

to figure out your expected income (Or

use last monthrsquos earnings for this monthrsquos

spending so you have an exact amount

available)

3 Calculate how much yoursquoll need to pay

for tithing along with any other offerings

you might want to give

4 Create a list of things you think yoursquoll pur-

chase throughout the month along with

how much theyrsquoll probably cost

5 Separate your needs from your wants

because yoursquoll want to spend your money

on needs first

6 Subtract the total cost of your needs from

your total income

7 Set aside a little money each month for

your wants

8 After paying for tithing and your imme-

diate needs put most of the money thatrsquos

left into savings Look to the future and set

a plan to save for college a mission (par-

ticularly young men) or other big things

Think about how much you need to save

every month to meet the financial goals

you have for those big things in the future

9 Remember that making your budget work

takes solid planning a strong commit-

ment and self-discipline Itrsquos tough but

itrsquos worth it

SHOPPING PRINCIPLES

If yoursquore like most teenagers yoursquore prob-

ably going to want to spend some of your

money at the mall at a store or online So

yoursquoll want to know some basic principles

about shopping before you go

bull Decide what yoursquore planning to buy

before you go shopping Then stick to

your plan and avoid the habit of buying

things on impulse

bull Buy something only if you really love it

Donrsquot let your friends a salesperson or an

advertisement talk you into buying some-

thing yoursquore not going to use often

bull Remember that the word sale doesnrsquot

always mean yoursquore getting a good deal

Look for the best quality at the lowest

price Sometimes that means paying a

little bit more for something that will last a

lot longer

bull Ask yourself if you can live without the

item Remember the old adage ldquoFix it up

wear it out make it do or do withoutrdquo

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 11

T H E B O O K O F M O R M O N

CONCERT

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SOME FINAL TIPS

Just to finish here are some general

money-related guidelines to keep in mind

bull Keep track of your money and keep it in

a safe place

bull You canrsquot buy happiness but being will-

ing to share usually results in a smile

bull Avoid gambling of any kind

bull Be cautious of things that seem too good

to be truemdashthey usually are

The most important lesson about money

however is to keep in mind that wersquore not

here on earth to get rich or to have a lot of

fancy things Remember these truths from

the Doctrine and Covenants ldquoSeek not for

riches but for wisdom and behold the mys-

teries of God shall be unfolded unto you

and then shall you be made rich Behold he

that hath eternal life is richrdquo (DampC 67) NE

Arianne Cope lives in Utah USA

THE FUN STUFF

Herersquos a little-known fact a half-gallon

of ice cream from the grocery store tastes

almost as good as ice cream from an ice-cream shop Also a fact you can often buy

a half-gallon of ice cream for the same price

yoursquod pay for a single serving at an ice-

cream shop So if you need to save some

money suggest that your friends all split a

half-gallon from the store rather than spend-

ing a lot more at the ice-cream shop

And thatrsquos just one example of simple

money solutions You can be frugal in lots of

ways while still having a great time

bull Watch the newspaper or look online to

find free community or local events

bull If you want to see a movie go to a mati-

nee or a dollar theater for cheaper tickets

bull Plan ahead Make a list of ideas of free

things to do with your friends so you

wonrsquot rely on spending money to enter-

tain yourselves

bull Have fun outdoors without paying much

(if anything) Enjoy a campfire in the

canyon or on the beach or a free Frisbee

game at the parkmdashthey can be just

as much fun as going to a movie or a

concert

12 N e w E r a

FACT YOU CAN OFTEN BUY A HALF-GALLON OF

ICE CREAM FOR THE SAME PRICE YOUrsquoD PAY FOR A

SINGLE SERVING AT AN ICE-CREAM SHOP

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 13

3 Nephi 1815 20ndash21Jesus Christ taught the Nephites the importance of prayer

Editorrsquos note This page is not meant to be a com-

prehensive explanation of the selected seminary

scripture mastery verses only a starting point for

your own study

983148983141983155983156 983161983141 983138983141 983156983141983149983152983156983141983140

This is one of many scriptures

that teach how praying can help

us escape Satanrsquos temptations (see

also DampC 105 3112 and 6139)

Here are some other blessings thescriptures promise when you obey

the command to pray always What

blessings have you received

bull You will be worthy to stand in the

presence of God (see Luke 2136)

bull The Lord will consecrate your

efforts (see 2 Nephi 329)

bull The Spirit will be poured upon

you (see DampC 1938)

bull You will be given strength toendure (see DampC 88126)

bull Things will work out for your

good (see DampC 9024)

983152983154983137983161 983137983148983159983137983161983155

ldquoWe should be alone

with our Heavenly

Father at least two

or three times each

daymdashlsquomorning mid-day and eve-ningrsquo as the scripture indicates (Alma

3421) In addition we are told to

pray always (See 2 Ne 329 DampC

88126) This means that our hearts

should be full drawn out in prayer

unto our Heavenly Father continually

(See Alma 3427)rdquo

President Ezra Taft Benson (1899ndash1994) ldquoPray

Alwaysrdquo Ensign Feb 1990 2

L I N E U P O N L I N E

983159983144983137983156983155983151983141983158983141983154 983161983141 983155983144983137983148983148 983137983155983147

In the scriptures the Lord repeatedly

promises to answer our prayers if we

will but ask What can you learn from

these scriptures about how to ask and

receive answers What other scriptures

can you find that teach about this

bull James 15ndash6

bull 1 Nephi 1511

bull Enos 12ndash15

bull Mormon 921

bull DampC 810

bull DampC 4630ndash32

983159983144983145983139983144 983145983155 983154983145983143983144983156

ldquoHere the Savior

reminds us that faith

no matter how strong

it is cannot produce

a result contrary to the will of him

whose power it is The exercise of

faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is always

subject to the order of heaven to

the goodness and will and wisdom

and timing of the Lord That is why we cannot have true faith in the

Lord without also having complete

trust in the Lordrsquos will and in the

Lordrsquos timingrdquo

Elder Dallin H Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles ldquo lsquoFaith in the Lord Jesus Christrsquo rdquo

Ensign May 1994 100

983137983148983159983137983161983155 983145983150 983149983161 983150983137983149983141

Praying in Christrsquos name means

more than just ending our prayers

in the name of Jesus Christ The

Bible Dictionary teaches ldquoWe pray

in Christrsquos name when our mind isthe mind of Christ and our wishes

the wishes of Christmdashwhen His

words abide in us (John 157) We

then ask for things it is possible for

God to grant Many prayers remain

unanswered because they are not

in Christrsquos name at all they in no

way represent His mind but spring

out of the selfishness of manrsquos

heartrdquo (ldquoPrayerrdquo)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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By ElderJoseacute L Alonso

Of the Seventy

LINKED PRAYERS COUNSELING WITH THE LORD

ldquoThere may be things in our character in our behavior or concerningour spiritual growth about which we need to counsel with HeavenlyFather in morning prayer After expressing appropriate thanks for

blessings received we plead for understanding direction and helpto do the things we cannot do in our own strength alone

ldquoAt the end of our day we kneel again and report back to our Father We reviewthe events of the day and express heartfelt thanks for the blessings and the helpwe received We repent and with the assistance of the Spirit of the Lord identifyways we can do and become better tomorrow Thus our evening prayer buildsupon and is a continuation of our morning prayer And our evening prayer also is apreparation for meaningful morning prayerrdquo

Elder David A Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles ldquoPray Alwaysrdquo Ensign Nov 2008 41ndash42

14 N e w E r a

When I was 15 I went

to live with my father

while I finished high

school He lived and

worked in another city and had joined

the Church I didnrsquot know he was

a member but I saw that he acted

differently He acted with love and

kindness and was interested in myconcerns and needs

The first night I arrived I was

so hungry We sat down for dinner

and I started to eat but my father

said ldquoWait a minute We need to

prayrdquo I said ldquoWe need to what rdquo I

didnrsquot even know what the word

pray meant My father explained

that he was going to thank God our

Heavenly Father for the food we

had received from Him and then

we could eat My father prayed

and in his prayer he mentioned myname and asked for God to bless

me I felt something wonderful That

was the first time I felt the Spirit so

strongly in my life

My father taught me to pray to

Heavenly Father on my own Later

when the missionaries taught me

about Joseph Smithrsquos prayer I imme-

diately felt that it was possible for the

Lord to answer the prayer of a young

man The missionaries asked me to

read the Book of Mormon and to pray

to know if Jesus is the Christ if JosephSmith was a prophet and if the Book

of Mormon is true

That night I read the story in

3 Nephi 11 of when Jesus visits the

Nephites I was in a private place

so I got down on my knees and I

prayed Even though I was only 15 I

had faith that the Lord would answer

my prayer I received an impression

in my mind as clear as anything Ihad ever seen that Jesus is the Christ

Joseph Smith was a prophet and

the Book of Mormon is true I felt

like Joseph Smith after that prayer

I was so happy to truly know that

Heavenly Father answers prayers

from young people

Irsquod Never PRAYED BEFORE

i983150 Th983137t W983137y

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 15

WHAT KEPT ME STRONG

D983137ily P983137yer

As a teenager in an area with-

out a lot of Church members

I found that daily prayer was one

of the most important things that

helped me stay spiritually strong

I made sure to pray every day and

developed a pattern that helped

memdashmorning and evening prayers

When I heard

my father prayfor the rst timel felt something

wonderful

MORNING PRAYERS

Every morning I would share with

the Lord

bull My plans for the day

bull What I wanted to do

bull What I thought the Lord

wanted me to do

I would present my plans to

God and then ask for the Lordrsquos

help in accomplishing them

EVENING PRAYERS

Every evening I would

bull Report on how my day went

and if I had accomplished the

things I had set out to do

bull Share things that had been

difficult for me

bull Share things that I had learned

from people or through the

Spirit that dayThe more I prayed the more

I learned to understand and

receive impressions from the

Holy Ghost These impressions

helped me gain more strength

to follow the direction of the

Lord NE

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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16 N e w E r a

With canteen in hand I was prepared for my

second 50-mile hike and campout in the

Uinta Mountains I was about as well pre-

pared as a 14-year-old could be My equip-

ment was all set to go my boots were sturdy and my pack

was full of all the essentials

The day of the hike arrived and our

leaders reminded our group of young men

that the mountains could be very danger-

ous Hikers and campers were often lost

in the rugged hills and on the numerous

trails We were warned not to wander

away from the path Our leadersmdashmy

father includedmdashall seemed concerned

for our safety and were anxious to keep

us from straying off of our chosen pathBeing one of the stronger hikers and

a leader in the group I soon found myself

and three other boys leading the way

Sometimes we waited for our group at the

forks in the trail to make sure we followed

the correct path and would not become lost

We hiked for hours laughing and joking all the way We

were having a great time Suddenly we heard frantic calls

and the sounds of running We knew something must have

gone wrong We wondered if maybe some of the grouphad become lost I was concerned for the friends Irsquod left

behind with the leaders Something bad must have happened

We stopped to listen so we could hear what the distant

voices were yelling We heard our names More specifically

I heard my name being called I recognized my fatherrsquos

voice We called back and heard their heavy footsteps coming

in our direction

Something bad had happened We learned that

four of the boys in our group had strayed from

the correct path and had become lost It was us

We were the ones who were lost My father was

thankful to have finally found us and together we

began the hike back to the correct trail

In my head I retraced my footsteps I couldnrsquot

figure out how Irsquod become lost I felt like I was

still on the original path Irsquod been so sure We

retraced our steps and my father showed us aturn we had missed It was just a small path with

a little hidden sign marking the correct way

We had hiked two miles off the right trail

We were thankful wersquod been found

before dark For the rest of the hike

we stayed close to our leaders and the rest of the

group and were never in danger again

Sometimes our overconfidence as youth

gives us an unrealistic sense of independence

We push on without consulting our parentsor leaders We fail to ask for advice We feel

By Duncan Anderson

Mile Hike

The

We stoppedto listen so we

could hear whatthe distant voices

were yellingWe heard ournames We

called back andheard their heavyfootsteps comingin our direction

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 17

certain wersquore headed in a direction leading to the right

destination We laugh and joke and enjoy the path until itrsquos

too late too dark and wersquore lost

When it comes to choosing the right trails in life our

Heavenly Father has provided tools to guide us and keep us

on the path that leads to Him We have the scriptures prayer

and revelation our parents guidelines like For the Strength

of Youth and our Church leaders to guide us through the

countless options life offers

When we do stray off the path itrsquos often our loving parents

and dedicated leaders who come to the rescue They can

guide us back to the correct way and show us where we

went wrong Through repentance we can correct those

wrongs and start fresh on the right path headed toward the

destination that will give us eternal happiness and a life in the

presence of our Heavenly Father NE

Duncan Anderson lives in Utah USA

CHOOSING RIGHT PATHS

ldquoI plead with you to make a determi-nation right here right now notto deviate from the path which willlead to our goal eternal life with ourFather in Heaven Along that straight

and true path there are other goals missionaryservice temple marriage Church activity scripturestudy prayer temple work There are countless wor-thy goals to reach as we travel through life Neededis our commitment to reach themrdquo

President Thomas S Monson ldquoThe Three Rs of Choicerdquo

Ensign Nov 2010 68

NEED ADVICE

Is there anything yoursquod like advice on Donrsquot be afraid to ask your

parents or Church leaders Remember they are there to help you

no matter what yoursquod like to talk about

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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One of the things we agree

to do as part of the bap-

tismal covenant is ldquoto

stand as witnesses of

God at all times and in all things and in

all places that [we] may be inrdquo (Mosiah

189) And incidentally we renew this

covenant every week when we partake

of the sacramentIn the April 2014 general conference

several speakers reminded us that there

will be times when standing as a witness

of God will mean having to face oppo-

sition criticism and ridicule So what

should you do when yoursquore required

to take the uncomfortable uncool or

unpopular step of defending your beliefs

By David A Edwards

Church Magazines

Be brave and humble firm and gentle

all at the same time With the Lordrsquos

help itrsquos not as hard as it sounds

18 N e w E r a

of Defe983150di983150983143Your Beliefs

Dorsquos 983137983150d

Donrsquots

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2152

you should rely on the Spiritto guide your defense of your

faith Bear testimony by the

Spirit Thatrsquos the Lordrsquos way

(See also DampC 1005ndash8)

The point here is not that

you should avoid any discus-

sion in which people have dif-

fering points of view Rather it

has to do with your intent as

well as the emotions involved

We should seek understand-

ing and try to persuade withmeekess not just score points

and prove wersquore right and

someone else is wrong A

discussion where people are

getting really worked up and

angry is one you should either

try to soften or simply avoid

Heavenly Father has given

you the gift of the Holy Ghost

and you should take advan-

tage of this gift This doesnrsquot

mean reason and logic canrsquot

be inspired or confirmed by

the Spirit it just means that

Elder W Craig Zwick of

the Seventy has explained

this scripture this way ldquoA lsquosoft

answerrsquo consists of a reasoned

responsemdashdisciplined words

from a humble heart It does

not mean we never speak

directly or that we compro-

mise doctrinal truth Words

that may be firm in infor-

mation can be soft in spiritrdquo

(ldquoWhat Are You Thinkingrdquo

Ensign May 2014 42)

ldquoA SOFT ANSWER TURNETH AWAY

wr983137thBUT

GRIEVOUS WORDS stir u983152 983137983150983143errdquo

(Proverbs 151)

ldquoBeholdI send you forthas sheep in the

midst of wolves be ye therefore wise as serpents

and h983137r983149less as dovesrdquo

(Matthew 1016)

The Savior doesnrsquot want

you to be ignorant or naiumlve

but He also doesnrsquot want you

to attack anyone Knowing

what goes on in the world

doesnrsquot mean we have to

use its tactics

ldquoCONTEND AGAINST

NO CHURCHrdquo (DampC 1820)

There is no need to

criticize other churches

Positive statements of your

beliefs rather than negative

statements about others will

be most effective As the

Prophet Joseph Smith said

ldquoWe donrsquot ask any people

to throw away any good

they have got we only ask

them to come and get morerdquo

(Teachings of Presidents

of the Church Joseph

Smith [2007] 155)

ldquoAND THOUSHALT DECLARE

983143l983137d tidi983150983143s ldquoAND THOU SHALTDO IT WITH 983137ll hu983149ilityTRUSTING IN ME 983154evili983150983143 983150ot

AGAINST REVILERSrdquo

(DampC 1929ndash30)

The tidings you declare

are glad Remember that

and make sure your face and

your voice show it too Also

the word revile here means

to hurl abusive or insulting

language at a person So if

ldquoFOR I AM

NOT ASHAMED

OF THE GOSPEL OF CHRISTrdquo

(Romans 116)

As President Thomas S

Monson has said ldquoWe will all

face fear experience ridiculeand meet opposition Let

usmdashall of usmdashhave the courage

to defy the consensus the

courage to stand for prin-

ciple Courage not com-

promise brings the smile of

Godrsquos approvalrdquo (ldquoBe Strong

and of a Good Couragerdquo

Ensign May 2014 69)

The scriptures give you some basic principles for standing up for your faith including the following

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 19

ldquoWe s983152e983137k

NOT IN THE WORDS which 983149983137983150rsquos

WISDOM TEACH ETH

but which THE HOLY GHOST

TEACHETHrdquo

(1 Corinthians 213)

ldquoHE THATHATH THE

SPIRIT OF CONTENTIONIS NOT OF ME

BUT ISOF THE DEVIL

WHO IS THE FATHER OFCONTENTION AND

HE STIRRETH UPTHE HEARTS

OF MEN

TO CONTEND WITH ANGER

ONE WITH ANOTHERrdquo(3 Nephi 1129)

HERErsquoS SOME ADVICE FROM THE SCRIPTURES

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2252

How Do You Defend Do you have experi-ence in defending yourbeliefs Or do you haveideas to add to theselists Go to ldsorggodefendNE8 and share

Finding Courage

Read more on this topic atldsorggocourageNE8

someonersquos doing that to you

donrsquot retaliate and do the

same thing back to them The

Apostle Peter taught that the

Savior Himself gave the exam-

ple you should follow in thisregard (see 1 Peter 223)

ldquoLOVE YOUR ENEMIESbless them

that curse you

DO GOOD TO T HEMTHAT HATE YOU

and pray for

them which

DESPITEFULLY USE YOUAND PERSECUTE YOUrdquo

(Matthew 544)ldquoSEE THAT YE ARE NOT lifted u983152 u983150to

983152ride ye983137 SEE THAT YE DO

NOT BOAST IN YOUR

OWN WISDOM

983150or of your 983149uch stre983150983143thldquoUSE BOLDNESS

BUT NOT

OVERBEARANCErdquo (Alma 3811ndash12)

Here the word tenets

refers to opinions or teachings

that go beyond the basics So

the Lord is saying to stick to

the basic message of the gos-

pel when yoursquore declaring Hisglad tidings This also applies

to defending your faith

You donrsquot need to stray into

detailed discussions about

every little thing related to the

Church As Elder Richard G

Scott of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles has said

ldquoKeep your sharing of the

gospel simple rdquo (ldquo lsquoI HaveGiven You an Examplerdquo

Ensign May 2014 34)

ldquoEveryone independent

of his or her decisions and

beliefs deserves our kind-

ness and considerationrdquo said

Elder Neil L Andersen of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles ldquoThe Savior

taught us to love not only

our friends but also those

who disagree with usmdashand

even those who repudiate

usrdquo (ldquoSpiritual Whirlwindsrdquo

Ensign May 2014 20)

Again be humble Itrsquos not

about you or how smart and

capable you are Also you can

be bold without making over-

blown statements or being

a verbal or intellectual bully

As Elder Jeffrey R Holland

of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoYou willone day find yourself called

upon to defend your faith

Such moments will require

both courage and courtesy

on your partrdquo (ldquoThe Costmdashand

Blessingsmdashof Discipleshiprdquo

Ensign May 2014 6)

ldquoA983150d of te983150ets thou sh983137lt 983150ot t983137lk but thou shalt

declare repentance andfaith on the Savior and 983154e983149issio983150 of si983150sby baptism and by fire

yea even the Holy Ghostrdquo(DampC 1931)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2452

22 N e w E r a

I received my first two-wheel bicycle

when I was eight years old With

the help of my older brother and

father I began the rather scary pro-

cess of figuring out how to ride it The other kids in the neighborhood

made it look so easy and natural as

they zoomed up and down the street

on their bikes I perched on the bike

seatmdashwhich seemed to be at least

10 feet (3 m) above the groundmdashand

realized there was absolutely noth-

ing to keep me from falling over and

proving that the law of gravity was

alive and well As I tried riding I learned quickly

that if I wanted to stay balanced I had

to keep pedaling When I first sat on

the seat speed was the last thing I

wanted to add to the already daunting

equation But I very soon understood

the wisdom and the physics involved

in moving forward As long as I kept

pedaling I could stay upright and

avoid the rough concrete just waiting

to take the skin off my arms and legs

Soon I was zipping around the neigh-

borhood with my friends

Defy Gr983137vity Defy Gr983137vity

of the First Presidency as outlined

in that booklet our lives will be bal-

anced and steady We will be led

where we want to go

We need to keep moving forwardto avoid falling To do that we should

consistently and faithfully do certain

actions

bull Pray morning and night

bull Study the scriptures daily

bull Attend Church meetings and par-

take of the sacrament worthily

bull Serve those around us

bull Be worthy to attend the temple

All of these actions keep us moving

forward in the right direction

Thatrsquos why reading and being famil-

iar with the standards described in For

the Strength of Youth will help ensure

we are making choices consistent with

Godrsquos standards Living these princi-

ples and keeping the commandments

F O R T H E S T R E N G T H O F Y O U T H

By Bonnie LOscarson

Young WomenGeneral President

As you keep moving forward you can stay upright even

when outside forces try to pull you down

Just as those who keep

pedaling a bike can stay

upright despite gravityrsquos

influence those who are

guided by the Holy Spirit in

all they do can withstand

the influence of theadversary

So it is with living the gospel and

the standards in For the Strength of

Youth It takes faith to believe that if

we consistently follow the counsel

GO FORWARD WITH FAITH

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 23

invite the Holy Ghost to be our con-

stant companion Just as those who

keep pedaling a bike can stay upright

despite gravityrsquos influence those who

are guided by the Holy Spirit in allthey do can withstand the influence of

the adversary

What are the destinations you have

in mind as you pedal forward For all

young men of the Aaronic Priesthood

preparing now for a full-time mission

is important in forward growth For

all youth being prepared to go to the

temple and receive the endowment by

making and keeping sacred covenantsshould also be a primary goal

As the message from the First

Presidency at the beginning of For the

Strength of Youth says ldquoIn all that you

do stay focused on the temple In the

temple you will receive the greatest

of all the Lordrsquos blessings including

marriage for time and all eternityrdquo1

Receiving the covenant of eternal

marriage in the house of the Lord and

becoming righteous husbands wives

fathers and mothers may seem far

down the road but the time to beginpreparing is now All of these things

lead to the most glorious and grand

destination of allmdasheternal life with

our Heavenly Father

One of my favorite scriptures

sums up what we need to do in order

to keep moving toward our goals

ldquoWherefore ye must press forward

with a steadfastness in Christ hav-

ing a perfect brightness of hopeand a love of God and of all men

Wherefore if ye shall press forward

feasting upon the word of Christ and

endure to the end behold thus saith

the Father Ye shall have eternal liferdquo

(2 Nephi 3120)

Just as I learned as an eight-year-

old girl that I needed to keep pedaling

and moving forward in order to defy

gravity and keep my balance on my

bicycle it is important for all of us to

keep moving forward with faith trust-

ing in the counsel of living prophetsand a loving Heavenly Father to keep

us from falling Some of our destina-

tions are just down the road while

others will take a lifetime of faithful

living to achieve The promises of

what lies at the end of the road if we

are faithful are certain and glorious

and well worth the ride NE

NOTE

1 For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

Learn MoreSee whatrsquos next in your covenant path

at ldsorggocovenantNE8

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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24 N e w E r a

BOA R D

GA M E S

B y Da vid Chris tensen

My chance to play le f t

a lasting impact but it

wasnrsquot what Irsquod e xpected

L o s i n

g s o

q u i c k

l y w

a s b

a d e

n o u

g h

b

u t t o

m a k

e m

a t t e r s

w o r s e

t h

e o t h

e r g

u y

s s t a r t e

d t o

m a k

e

f u n

o f

m e

I

t r i e d

t o c o

n t i n

u e

p l a y i n g

e v e

n t h

o u

g h

t h e y

w e r

e b

e i n

g m

e a n

b

u t i t

w a s h

a r d t o h o

l d b

a c k m y t e

a r s

o f f r u s t

r a t i o n

U

n f o

r t u n a t e l y

o n e t e

a r t r i c k l e

d d

o w

n m y

c h e e

k b

e f o

r e I

c o u

l d w i p

e i t

a w a y M

y b

r o t h

e r

s a w i t

a n d

t e a s e

d m

e t o

o

I c o

u l d

n rsquo t

t a k e i t

a n y

m o r e

a n d

r a n t o

m y

r o o m

I g a v e m y s e l

f a q u i c k p i n

c h

t o m a k e s u r

e I w a s n rsquo

t d r e a m i n g

a n d t h e

n I v o i c e d

a t i m i d ldquo Y e

a h

s u r e rdquo I s t

i l l c o u l d

n rsquo t b e l i e

v e t h a t

m y b r o t h e

r h a d i n v

i t e d m e t o

p l a y a g a m e w i t h

t h e ldquo b i g k i

d s rdquo

A f t e r a l l

I rsquo d b e e n t o l d f o r t h

r e e

y e a r s t h a

t I w a s s t i l l

t o o y o u

n g

t o p l a y m o r e d i f fi

c u l t b o a

r d

g a m e s w i t h m y b r o

t h e r a n d

h i s f r i e n d s

A N D B R O

T H

E R S

I

felt the hot tears of anger slowly slide

down my face I wiped them away with

my hand but I could still feel the

slightly salty taste on my lips assobs of anguish began to pour out

I just wanted to hang out with my

brother Why couldnrsquot he be my

friend too

J u s t a f e w

h o u r s

b e f o

r e I h a d

s t a r e d a t

m y o

l d e r b

r o t h

e r S t e v e

i n c o

m p

l e t e s u r p

r i s e

w a i t i n

g f o r h

i m t o

t e

l l

m e t h

a t h e w

a s o n

l y

j o k i n g ldquo W

e l l d o y o

u

w a n

t t o p

l a y rdquo S t e v e

a s k e d i m p

a

t i e n t l y

I w

e n t i n t o t h e

r o o m w h

e r e t h e

o l d e r b o y s

w e r e

s e t t i n g u p

t h e b o a r d

g a m e A s t h e

g a m e s t a r t e d

w i t h

e v e r y o n e s t r a t e g i c a l l y

p l a c i n g

t h e i r g a m

e

p i e c e s

I f e l t l i k e

I w

a s d r e a

m i n g F o r

t h e fi r s t t i m

e

I f e l t e q u a l t o

m y b r o t h e r mdash

n o t l i k e I

w a s j u s t h i s

t a g a l o n g

T h e d r e a m

e n d e d q u i c k

l y h o w e v e r

T h e

g a m e w

a s t o u g h

a n d m y i n

e x p e r i e n c e

a n d l a c k

o f k n o w l e d g e

b e c

a m e

p a i n f u l l y o b v i o u s

a s t h e o t

h e r

p l a y e r s q u i c k l y

a n d

s o u n d l y d e f e a t e d

m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2752

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2852

26 N e w E r a

Le983137r983150i983150983143 the i983150s 983137983150d outs of d983137ti983150983143 c983137983150 be h983137rd Let this course tur983150 you

i983150to 983137 d983137ti983150983143 983152ro

By Matthew ORichardson

Served as Second

Counselor in theSunday SchoolGeneral Presidencyfrom 2009 to 2014

hile speaking to youth about how to prepare for a celestial marriage

President Thomas S Monson emphasized that ldquoproper dating is a part

of preparation for marriagerdquo 1 Have you thought much about happy

relationships Elder Russell M Nelson of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said a ldquocelestial marriage brings greater possibilities for happiness than

does any other relationshiprdquo2

When I was serving as bishop in a young single adult ward I worried about those

who approached dating with very little purpose understanding or direction This

caused me to wonder if my own children would be any different when their time came

My wife and I decided to help our children prepare for ldquoproper datingrdquo and happy rela-tionships by creating the Richardson Dating Academy or RDA as our children call it

It wasnrsquot long after we started the RDA that friends of our children wanted to partici-

pate and even become RDA graduates So how about you Are you ready to become a

dating academy graduate yourself Class is in session

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 27

Lesso983150 1 ur983152oses 983137983150d St983137983150d983137rds of D983137ti983150983143

Lesso983150 2 W983137tch 983137983150d Le983137r983150

Homework

As you know ldquodatingrdquo means different things to differ-

ent people Your first assignment is to figure out just what

a ldquodaterdquo is according to Church standards Can you explain

the purposes of dating and the specific dating standards and

guidelines set by the Church Or do you know when itrsquosmost appropriate to be involved in dating and steady dating

(having a boyfriend or girlfriend)

You can find answers to these questions in the ldquoDatingrdquo

section of For the Strength of Youth The First Presidency

reminds us why knowing and understanding these stan-

dards are so important They promise ldquoThe standards in this

Elder Jeffrey R Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles once explained that most athletic contests have ldquolines

drawn on the floor or the field within which every participant

must stay in order to competerdquo3 Success depends on how

well a competitor knows and stays within the set boundaries

Likewise itrsquos important to know the ldquodating linesrdquo or the pur-

poses and standards of dating as taught by Church leaders

One of the most com-

mon ways people learn

is by watching others

Dating is no different

In the dating academy

we spend time observ-

ing others in dating

situations In our family

we learned many point-ersmdashsome to do others

to avoidmdashby watching

dates in progress at

restaurants and other

settings Yes we went to

certain places with the

sole purpose to observe

dates for ldquoclassrdquo

booklet will help you with the important choices you are

making now and will yet make in the futurerdquo4

Now that you have a solid foundation of the stan-

dards and purposes of dating (you did do your home-

work and read that section didnrsquot you) itrsquos time to move

on to lesson 2

Tips

Here are some suggestions that will help you learn

as you observe

bull Watch but donrsquot be creepy This is about learning from

others but not stalking staring or even judging Look for

things you like and things you would like to avoid

bull Go to a variety of places and settings to observe others

Not every date is the same nor should it be Watch how thesetting affects the experience

bull Watch how people interact with each other Can you tell

who is with whom Are they paying attention to each

other In what ways Are they talking with each other Do

they look like they enjoy being with each other How can

you tell if they are having fun

bull Talk with a parent leader or good friends and share what

you noticed and what you learned

Homework

The next time you go

out to eat attend a movie

or go to almost any activ-

ity make an effort to look

around and see how other

people are interacting It

may surprise you to see

how much dating is actu-ally going on Take the

time to learn from those

around you by paying

attention to whatrsquos work-

ing and what isnrsquot

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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28 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 3 l983137983150983150i983150983143 983137 D983137te

Tips

bull Start planning early

bull Donrsquot be afraid to bounce ideas off your friendsparents and others They can provide excellent

suggestions that you havenrsquot even thought about

bull Make sure you let your budget amount of time

available the reasons for dating and Church stan-

dards guide your planning

bull Think of what you hope will happen during the

date from beginning to end This helps you realize

what needs to be done to make the date a success

bull Pay attention to details Call ahead for event times

prices menus and what the proper dress is for

the occasion

bull Plan for emergencies For example what will you

do if you donrsquot have enough money or have car

trouble What if your date gets sick

Homework

Rather than leaving everything to chance dating acad-

emy grads understand what needs to happen and theyplan accordingly

Your homework assignment even if yoursquore years away

from dating is to practice planning an event You can

brainstorm with friends really fun ideas for a date Then

work together to think of what planning is required to

make those ideas actually happen Or you can ask your

parents to let you plan the next family outing

You might choose a place to eat or what to do Plan all

the details (event times travel time cost backup plans)

and then put your plan into action You could evencome up with a dating plan complete with backup ideas

if something goes wrong and share it in family home

evening while talking together around the dinner table

or with friends You may find that properly planning an

activity is almost as much fun as the actual date

The quality of experience yoursquoll have with others is

often determined by what happens before a date begins

Showing up on your datersquos doorstep with no plan is a

recipe for an awkward experience Nobody likes playing

the ldquoWhat do you want to dordquo game

Yoursquore better than that With a little practice you can

become a date-planning champion And young women

no fair skipping this section While most of the time young

men plan and ask for dates yoursquoll still want to have these

skills down for when itrsquos your turn

Group Date IdeasNeed ideas Check out ldsorggoideasNE8 Some

of the youth activities there could be adapted for dates

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 3152

Homework

In the Richardson Dating Academy all of our

children practiced dating invitations For example

our children might call an aunt older sibling or other

family member to practice inviting someone on a

date Or our son or daughter would receive an invita-

tion from a family member and practice responding

They learned how to deal with rejection acceptance

or even a disinterested response or two

Now itrsquos your turn Working with your parents ask

them to line up somebody in your family you can call

and practice inviting on a date Make sure you do this

more than once

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 29

You know your dating standards front and back

yoursquove watched others in dating situations and

yoursquove come up with a solid date plan

Congratulations Now you still need to invite

someone Or you need to know how to respond

when you are invited So whatrsquos the best way A

phone call Ask in person Here are some different

points to consider

Lesso983150 4 I983150viti983150983143 Others 983137983150d Bei983150983143 I983150vited

Tips

bull Be ready to give details when you invite

someone on a date Talk about what you have

planned start and end times whorsquos participat-ing and how they should dress (casual dressy

etc) Your excellent planning from academy

lesson 3 makes this part of the academy easy

bull Therersquos a time to talk by phone and a time to

ask face-to-face The more important the event

is the more personal the invitation should be

Donrsquot be afraid to skip technology and actually

talk with someone

bull Some events may require you to speak with

your datersquos parents first This shows respectand courtesy

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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30 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 5 O983150 the D983137te

It would be impossible for any dating academy to cover

every little thing to consider or plan for in dating So much

depends on good judgment communication with your par-

ents and listening to the Spirit

Still here are a few key points you might want to brush

up on before putting your date plan into action

Tips

bull Develop a ldquoyou firstrdquo attitude This means you always

think of your date first Is he or she having fun Is he or

she comfortable

bull Make sure you dress appropriately for the occasion

The way you dress usually communicates how you feelabout others and about the event Know the difference

between casual (but never sloppy) semiformal and

formal and when it would be appropriate to dress in

those ways

bull Show common courtesy by opening doors saying

thank you talking less about yourself and more about

your date and extending sincere compliments

bull Learn how to navigate restaurants Know how to make

a reservation get a table calculate a service tip and

pay the bill

Homework

Once again the best way to learn any good skill is by practic-

ing it Our youth enjoyed role-playing different situations

to think about how to act most appropriately We

also loved going out to eat as part of the dating acad-

emy experience Our children learned how to act in

a restaurant order a meal calculate the tip and paythe bill by actually doing it when they were with us

Look for opportunities to practice skills you should use on a

date For example the next time you and your family go some-

where ask your parents to let you purchase the tickets order

the meal or calculate the tip Treat your family or friends with

the same respect and courtesy that you should show others on a

date Open doors for your family be the first to say ldquothank yourdquo

and pay attention so you are part of the conversation

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 31

Lesso983150 6 The Doorste983152

NOTES

1 Thomas S Monson ldquoPreparation BringsBlessingsrdquo Ensign May 2010 64

2 Russell M Nelson ldquoCelestial Marriagerdquo Ensign Nov 2008 93

3 Jeffrey R Holland ldquoWe Are All Enlistedrdquo Ensign Nov 2011 45

4 ldquoMessage to the Youth from The First Presi-dencyrdquo For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

5 John Bytheway ldquoWhat Do Kisses Meanrdquo New Era Oct 2004 38ndash41

Last but not least dating

academy graduates know how

to conclude a date on the right

note Nothing sours a great date

more than a bad ending

Herersquos how you can finish a

date with success

Tips

bull Express gratitude Be sincere

and to the point If there was something you especially

liked tell your date what

it was

bull Therersquos no reason for drag-

ging things on at this point

Yoursquove already spent plenty

of time together Avoid the

ldquodoorstep shufflerdquo When

people arenrsquot sure what to

say they tend to shuffle backand forth or move their feet

in place If you find yourself

ldquoshufflingrdquo in place itrsquos a

pretty good signal that you

need to say good-bye

bull Know and follow the

Churchrsquos counsel on kissing

and physical intimacy (You

might also want to read John

Bythewayrsquos article ldquoWhat Do

Kisses Meanrdquo5 at ldsorggo

kissesNE8)

Homework

Yes herersquos another opportunity for practicing Our family has spent several family

home evenings role-playing doorstep good-byes Itrsquos been both helpful and fun to

watch an older sibling coach the younger sibling with dorsquos and donrsquots

Most memorable was an older sister showing how she could turn a hug into a

handshake with the grace of a princess and the speed of a ninja You too can get

together with family members and role-play different scenarios that might happen on

a doorstep We guarantee itrsquoll be an academy night yoursquoll all remember

Gr983137du983137tio983150

If yoursquove studied all the

material worked on the tips done

the homework and talked through

the lessons with your parents and

family you too can become a

dating academy graduate

As you continue strengthening

these important skills yoursquoll find

support strength and power that

will bless your relationships both

now and in the future You will be

better prepared for happiness NE

Do Try This at HomeInterested in having a dating academy at

home Let your parents know therersquos an RDAarticle for them in this monthrsquos Ensign or atldsorggoRDA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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32 N e w E r a

S U N DA Y L E S S

O N S

This Monthrsquos Topic

Ma r r iage a nd

Fa m i l y

MARRIAGE IS WORTH ITldquoIt is so rewarding to bemarried Marriage is wonder-ful In time you begin to thinkalike and have the same ideasand impressions You havetimes when you are extremelyhappy times of testing andtimes of trial but the Lordguides you through all ofthose growth experiencestogetherrdquo

Elder Richard G Scott of the

Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo

Ensign May 2011 96

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 33

We love being marr ied and he

rersquos why

By Ben and Rachel Nielsen

Letrsquos face it girls (and boys) itrsquos nice to know that someone loves you

And when yoursquore married you have chances to share and receive love every

day When I was talking to my parents about the possibility of marrying

Ben my dad said ldquoWhomever you choose to marry I want him to fre-

quently and sincerely express his love for you like Elder Richard G Scott did

for his wiferdquo3 I listened to Dad

I decided to marry Ben and he has always made an effort to express

his love to me in small and big ways During my senior year of college I

worked for months to prepare apply and interview for a prestigious intern-ship And when I finally heard that I got the job I came home and saw a

vase full of flowers from my husband He knew how hard I had worked and

how much the internship meant to me At other times hersquoll hide my favorite

drink and a love note in the fridge before he heads out for a weekend Scout

camp And every day hersquoll do the dishes and make me laugh Ben is great at

expressing his love for me and that brings both of us great joy

During my mission in Brazil I grew to love soccer One thing that I lovemost about this sport is having teammates and learning how to work together

with my team Rachel is a fantastic teammate She helps me achieve my

goals joins me in making important decisions and is there for me when I

have trouble

When we were sealed in the temple we promised to ldquohelp one another as

equal partnersrdquo2 Rachel and I strive to support each other in everything we

do and itrsquos great to know that I always have a reliable teammate

After our first date we both

knew we wanted to go

on a second date Ben

wanted to go on

another date because Rachel was

friendly and fun to talk to Rachel

wanted to go on another date

because Ben was a gentleman

and was still smiling after all of

his well-laid plans fell through

After the second date plus manymore dates and prayers after

that we fell in love and decided

to get married in the Sacramento

California Temple

The wedding day was abso-

lutely perfect and we have loved

being married ever since The

world may see marriage differ-

ently but we know that ldquono other

relationship of any kind canbring as much joy generate as

much good or produce as much

personal refinementrdquo1 Marriage

is awesome and herersquos why

FROM BEN A T e a m m a t e

FROM RACHEL

E x p r e s s i o n s o f L o v e

WHY MARRIAGE IS

A w e s o m e

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34 N e w E r a

JOIN THE CONVERSATION

Things to Ponder for Sunday

bull What qualities and attitudes make for the strongest

and happiest marriages and families

bull What are you doing now that will help your future

marriage and family stay strong and happy

Things You Might Do

bull Share with some friends your goal of marrying and

having a family and tell them why

bull In church share why you are looking forward

to marriage and family and how you are pre-

paring for them

serving in the Church and inviting others to come unto

Christ As we work together to build the kingdom of God

we grow closer our love deepens and life is more fulfilling

Dating Rachel is so much fun In fact we make surethat we still frequently go on dates even as a married

couple After we first met we found that we enjoy many

of the same activities walking through parks attending

plays watching sporting events eating new and different

food listening to music and so much more I loved doing

these things before I met Rachel but theyrsquore even more

fun now that we get to share them together When yoursquore

married you have someone to enjoy life withmdashand that

makes life awesome

Before I met Ben I was nearing the age of missionary

service and had seriously considered serving a full-time

mission But then Ben entered my life and I knew that

Heavenly Father had a different plan for me

When Ben and I got engaged relatives who knew

about my thoughts to serve a mission asked me about my

choice and I would tell them ldquoI decided that I wanted topick my own missionary companionmdashand stay with him

for eternityrdquo

When yoursquore married you and your spouse have the

chance to participate in the work of salvation together

Ben and I have found great joy in building a Christ-

centered home studying and living the gospel together

Despite what the world may say marriage is awesome

and is worth making a priority When yoursquore married you

have a teammate you give and receive love you enjoy life

more fully and you have someone to build the kingdom

of God with All of that brings us great joy and because

we were sealed in the temple we can have this joy forever

If we keep our covenants we will be together for eternityand receive the crowning blessings of the priesthood We

ldquohave found in marriage the richest fulfillment of human

existencerdquo 4 NE

Ben and Rachel Nielsen live in Utah USA

NOTES

1 L Whitney Clayton ldquoMarriage Watch and Learnrdquo Ensign May 2013 83 2 ldquoThe Family A Proclamation to the Worldrdquo Ensign Nov 2010 129 3 See Richard G Scott ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo Ensign May

2011 96 4 James E Faust ldquoEnriching Your Marriagerdquo Ensign Apr 2007 6

FROM BEN M o r e E n jo y m e n t

FROM RACHEL A n E t e r n a l M is s i o n a r y C o m p a n io n

TAKE IT FROM US

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Your family can help unite the family of GodYou can all share the gospel in natural and pleasant ways

P H O T O I L L U S T R A T I O N B Y D A V I D S T O K E R

M O R M O N A D

(See M Russell Ballard ldquoPut Your Trust in the Lordrdquo Ensign Nov 2013 43)

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36 N e w E r a

By Alex Larsen

I always knew I wanted to be a mother but when I was grow-

ing up it wasnrsquot always on my mind When my fianceacute and I

were engaged one day I was talking with one of my college

professorsmdasha woman I greatly admiredmdashabout my engage-

ment She said something that brought my life choices into sharp

focus ldquoYou are wasting your talentrdquo she told me as she shook

her head She went on to say that someone as smart as I was

should not get married young She assumed I would have chil-

dren in my future and would be ldquothrowing awayrdquo my education

and chances of a stellar career on my future motherhood I could

tell by the way she looked at me that she thought I was making

a terrible and naiumlve mistake

Itrsquos been several years since that conversation and my hus-

band and I have two little girls Kate is three years old and is

my little sweetheart She moves through life at a leisurely pace

savoring all of the little details she notices Annabel is one yearold with bright blue eyes and a head of curls Shersquos exuberant

and determined Though I didnrsquot change my mind because of

what my professor said our discussion has stayed with me In

one way my professorrsquos predictions were correct I do not have

a prestigious working career But my professor got the most

important point wrong because I have wasted nothing

g i v i n

g u p e v e r y

t hi n g

but wh a t

I

g a i n ed

w as w o r t h so much m o r e

T h e wor l d t o l d me

I w ould

b e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 37

their spirits growing and developing I remember

the first time Kate pointed to a picture of the Savior and

said ldquoJesusrdquo I knew then that what I was doing was eter-

nally significant in the lives of my children

The world often tells us that lifersquos rewards come in

the form of status money or grand accomplishments

but I know therersquos great satisfaction even in the small

acts of changing diapers or wiping sticky fingers Every

little thing I do as a mother is part of helping to build the

kingdom of God by nurturing His children I always knew

I wanted children but it was not until I held my first baby

in my arms that I began to realize how much my heart

was capable of loving

The love I have for my daughters has helped me bet-

ter understand how much my Heavenly Father loves all

of His children When speaking of little children Jesustaught that ldquoof such is the kingdom of heavenrdquo (Matthew

1914) More than anything motherhood has helped me

to grow as a daughter of God because now I know what

a daughter of God looks like from the eyes of a parent

The world makes us think that a woman loses herself in

motherhoodmdashshe loses her body her free time and her

career But I have found myself in motherhood I feel

more beautiful and more valuable than ever before NE

Alex Larsen lives in California USA

I love the opportunity to stay home and care for my

young children because these are the most formative

years of their lives I have the opportunity to create a rich

home environment for my girls by reading and discussing

things with them as part of our everyday life Kate will

often astound me by remembering and commenting on

something wersquod read in a book several weeks before and

Annabel learns a new skill almost every day But as fun

and important as it is to watch them learn new

information and skills I feel the

most satisfied when I see

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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38 N e w E r a

One o f t h e g r e a t e s t ad v enture s o f y o u r l i f e w i l l b e y our rol e a n d c a l l i n g a s a f a t her

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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ROcksROcksROcks

NOTE

1 See Thomas S Monson ldquoWelcome to Conferencerdquo Ensign Nov 2012 4ndash5

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 39

DA D D A DD AD

By Chris Deaver

W

hen I was younger I loved spending time

with my dad He always knew the bestgames to play the best stories to tell at night

and the most interesting sports to try It was

like he was born to be a great dad

Fast-forward my life to when I married my sweetheart

Julia and then even further to the moment that our first

child Daniel was born I was filled with a rush of emo-

tions I was happy shocked amazed and a little scared

I felt totally inadequate to be a father and to have the

responsibility of teaching and being an example to my son

But I quickly realized that Irsquod been preparing all my life tobe a dad When I held my son in my arms for the first time

and looked down into his face I felt the Spirit touch my

heart and I realized that I was ready to try to be a great

dad just like my own dad was to me

When Daniel was very young he already had a great

sense of humor He learned to tell hilarious jokes that

would make my wife and me laugh He also often said

things that inspired us Shortly after hearing President

Thomas S Monson announce the change in age require-

ments for young men and young women preparingto serve missions1 we were driving in the car Daniel

announced that he would start preparing himself right

then at age six so he would have 12 years of preparation

Then he said with a smile ldquoDad can I change the song

from lsquoI Hope They Call Me on a Missionrsquo to lsquoI AM Going on

a Missionrsquordquo It was awesome

WHYbeing a

Three years after Daniel was born he was followed by his

brother Austin For me as a dad itrsquos been great to watch bothboys become best friends And Austin has been just as fun

as Daniel in his own way He enjoys building and destroying

block towers and one of his favorite activities is to fearlessly

wrestle me as if I stand no chance against his four-year-old

powers Of course I give in and let him winmdashso I guess I

reinforce his belief But itrsquos so much fun I know hersquoll be a

great wrestler but what I want most is for him to wrestle

ldquoagainst the rulers of the darkness of this worldrdquo and ldquoagainst

spiritual wickednessrdquo like it says in the scriptures (Ephesians

612) And I hope Irsquom helping to prepare him to do that We just recently had our third child a baby girl named

Faith During the delivery my wife was having some com-

plications and we were scared for our baby I gave Julia

a blessing Then she asked me to sing to her The Spirit

brought peace to both of us Soon baby Faith came safely

into the world It was a miracle and she definitely lived up

to her name Faithrsquos beautiful smile brightens my life I canrsquot

express in words how much she means to me

For any young man still wondering let me tell you You

were born to be a great dad The world may not agree butfatherhood is the best Someday yoursquoll find that your kids

inspire you too and that being a dad is the greatest adven-

ture of your life Yes itrsquos a duty and something you need to

take seriously but being a dad is unlike anything else NE

Chris Deaver lives in Florida USA

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40 N e w E r a

We always seem to be encouraged to read more

because well everyone knows that reading is a

good thing But not all books are worth reading and just

because sexual material is written about rather than pho-

tographed or video recorded doesnrsquot mean that itrsquos less

morally hazardous Making a common display of a sacred

intimacy thatrsquos intended to only be part of a marriage rela-

tionship is wrongmdashwhether in words or imagesIf something yoursquore reading contains explicit sexual

descriptions that imprint themselves on your mind and

arouse sexual feelings in the same way that looking at

pornographic images would then guess what Itrsquos pornog-

raphy Remember the counsel in For the Strength of Youth

ldquoChoose wisely when using media because whatever you

read listen to or look at has an effect on you Select only

media that uplifts yourdquo ([2011] 11) NE

T O T H E P O I N T

President Boyd K

Packer President of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoEach

of us must come to ourown personal testimony

of the Lord Jesus Christ

We then share that testi-

mony with our family and

othersrdquo1 It can sometimes

be easy to question the

depth of your testimony

I know looking at pornographic

pictures is wrong but whatabout reading books with

ldquoromanticrdquo scenes

If I donrsquot have a burning

desire to share thegospel does that mean I

donrsquot have a testimony

when you compare your-

self to people like Brigham

Young who once said ldquoI

wanted to thunder and

roar out the gospel to thenations It burned in my

bones like fire pent uprdquo2

So what if you donrsquot feel

fire in your bones

Hopefully your lack of

desire doesnrsquot come from

a lack of concern for your

fellowmen As your faith in

Jesus Christ grows so does

your love of all people a

love that is a mark of the

true followers of Christ (see

Moroni 748 John 1335)

Itrsquos likely however

that your hesitancy sim-

ply comes from fear and

anxiety about speaking toothers For many people

such feelings can be over-

whelming Even prophets

have had doubts about their

ability to speak to people

(see Exodus 410 Moses

631) They of course

had no reason to question

their testimoniesmdashand

neither should you if you

are studying the scriptures

pondering praying fasting

repenting and doing all the

other things that help bring

the Spirit into your life

If you feel you just

need a little extra cour-age to share the gos-

pel visit ldsorggo

shareNE8 for ideas NE

NOTES

1 Boyd K Packer ldquoThe Witnessrdquo Ensign May 2014 96

2 Teachings of Presidents ofthe Church Brigham Young (1997) viii

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C O M E F O L L O W M E

Family

983152983137tter983150 of

President Boyd K PackerPresident of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

April 2014 general conference

The ultimate end

of all activity in

the Church is that

a man and his wife

and their childrencan be happy

at home

The FamilyYoursquoll be studying about the family in your Sunday classes

this month As you study and discuss family you may pon-der these questions Why do Church leaders emphasize

family so much What is the place of family in Heavenly

Fatherrsquos plan How does family help make us happy

To find some answers to these questions see the

family proclamation near the back of your Personal

Progress or Duty to God booklet or online at ldsorg

gofamilyNE8 Yoursquoll also find teachings about

family relationships in general conference talks at

conferenceldsorg

Give yourself an easy reminder to prepare for your

Sunday lessons on the family Just place these cards

in your scriptures locker or bedroom You can also

download or share them online at ldsorggocardsNE8 B A C K G R O U N D T E X T U R E

B Y I S T O C K P H O T O T H I N K S T O C K

We 983150eed We 983150eed

MOR E

983155tre983150983143the983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

RELATIONSHIPS

983153u983137lity 983153u983137lity TIME amp EFFORT INTO

TO PUT

983155re983150983143te983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4452

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4552

T H E E X T R A S M I L E

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 43

I dont like to pack so I rsquo m just wearing all my stuff

JON CLARK

W h a t m a k e s y o

u t h i n k

D a d rsquo s t a l k i n g t o

t h e

p r o p h e t

B ecaus e h e s ai d h e w as on a conf er ence cal l

RYAN STOKER

F r o m n o w o n j u s t t a k e

a p i c t u r e o f t h e t o o t h a n

d

u p l o a d i t t o m y F a c e b o o k

p a g e

a n d t h e n I rsquo l l s e n d y o u t h e

m o n e y t h r o u g h P a y P a l

RANDY GLASBERGEN

[Gasp] He he made h is bed this morning

And I didnrsquo t even ask

VAL CHADWICK BAGLEY

Who says there arenrsquo t modern m iracles

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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44 N e w E r a

ldquoMymom works

Since you donrsquot see your mom often make sure that

the time you do have together is used well You

could talk to your mom about how to do this She

wants a good relationship with you too and will

help you work on it Try asking her what she would

appreciate coming home to a clean house doing an activity

together just talking with you As you regularly do activities your mom appreciates your relationship will improve

Of course you could plan some fun activities to do together

but any meaningful time togethermdashsuch as washing the dishes

or reading the scripturesmdashcan be a great way to build your

relationship

Also plan time for communication Understanding one

another is a key ingredient in good relationships One thing

to discuss is how your momrsquos work schedule will affect your

relationship with her You can avoid misunderstandings if you

talk about your expectations as well as your momrsquosPrayer will help Families are important to Heavenly Father

so He can inspire you to know how to improve your relation-

ship with your mom Donrsquot ignore a prompting to do something

that seems small (see Alma 376) A hug and a smile for exam-

ple can make a big difference NE

Write a Note

Even if you have very

little time together you

can still express your

love to your mother

Write her thoughtful secret notes As

she reads them at work she will think

of you Do as much as you can for

her Think about her more often and

pray for her Ask the Lord to inspire

you and prompt you regarding how

you can improve your relationship Irinka E 20 Odessa Ukraine

Seek to Understand Her

Try to understand her situation

because she works for your benefit

You can begin by helping with things

at home like cleaning the house

helping your siblings and cooking

You also can share scriptures with

your mom pray together and doactivities that you like to do together

Morony M 18 Chihuahua Mexico

Have a Special Sunday

On some Sundays we

have a special lunch

or dinner with a new

dessert we talk and at

the end we sing hymns This brings

us together and helps us be betterfriends

Rebeca N 12 Satildeo Paulo Brazil

Try an Experiment

We arrange time to be together hav-

ing family home evening playing

games going to the beach having

lunch together All of this helps to

Q U E S T I O N S amp A N S W E R S

all day Howcan I improve our

relationshiprdquo

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4752

keep the flame of a good relationship

alive When we disagree we avoid

criticizing I know that sometimes I

ask not to do housework but this

contributes to disharmony in the

home Since I began this experiment

mdashcomplaining less lowering my

voice helping more with housework

and talking more with my mothermdash

a sweet spirit has developed in our

home and we cooperate more

Glenda C 18 Bahia Brazil

Help at Home

Do some extra chores

around the house Your

mom has been work-

ing all day If she has

less work to do when she gets home

shersquoll probably be happier and have

more time to talk and do things with

you While you are talking you canask about her day at work It will

show her that you care and it will

open doors for other topics of discus-

sion allowing you to grow closer

Heather B 18 Oregon USA

Find Something You BothLike to Do

My mumrsquos relationship with me

skyrocketed when I said ldquoI want tospend more time with you but I donrsquot

know what to do or when to do itrdquo

Playing board games happens to be

our favorite pastime So we set aside

a time together to play laugh and

make memories When you are open

with your parents eventually they

become your best companions You

UPCOMING QUESTION

ldquoMy parents just

got divorced Irsquom angry that they

have broken up our

family How doI forgive themrdquo

Send your answer and photo by

September 15 2014

Go to neweraldsorg click ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo enter your LDS Accountand then select ldquoNew Erardquo

Responses may be edited for length

or clarity

Responses are intended for help and per-

spective not as official pronouncements ofChurch doctrine

will be able to talk to them about

anything and you will be sure of an

honest answer That is the sign of a

mature relationship

Ephraim S 15 New South Wales Australia

Read Scriptures Together

Both of you could set a goal to read

together every day even just five

minutes from the Book of Mormon

or any other Church book It will

strengthen your relationship andnourish you with the word of God

so you can be ready to face each day

Remember also to pray to God and

ask for His help I know He hears you

and loves you

Laura M 19 Coacuterdoba Argentina

LEARN FROM

YOUR MOTHER

ldquoPlease look to yourfaithful mothers fora pattern to followModel yourselves

after them not after celebritieswhose standards are not the Lordrsquosstandards and whose values maynot reflect an eternal perspectiveLook to your mother Learn fromher strengths her courage andher faithfulness Listen to her She

may not be a whiz at texting shemay not even have a Facebookpage But when it comes to mat-ters of the heart and the thingsof the Lord she has a wealth ofknowledgerdquo

Elder M Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles ldquoMothers and Daughtersrdquo

Ensign May 2010 19

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46 N e w E r a

MISERABLE TOTHE END OFTHE STREET

For one family home evening my

dad wanted to take advantage

of a pause in the rainy weather

to go on a walk around the neighbor-

hood I grumbled and complained

that it was too wet and muddy to

go walking I used the excuse that

I had a ballet recital that week and

didnrsquot want to sprain an ankle but

my dad didnrsquot buy it He insisted thatit was going to be the activity for the

evening I murmured a bit more about

the unfairness and my recital but we

left on the walk anyway

As I glumly stomped outside for

the walk with my family I was deter-

mined not to smile or be happy I

succeeded in feeling miserable until

I N S T A N T M E S S A G E S

we reached the end of the street Then

we turned the corner and I saw in full

force naturersquos beauty and wonder

Before me was a gorgeous sunset

and opposite it was a rainbow arching

above our neighborhood rooftops

I immediately forgot all about being

miserable and looked around in awe

On the way home I said a prayer of

gratitude thanking God for the beautyof His creations I later thanked my

dad for choosing the activity and for

allowing us to enjoy nature for that

family home evening

Jennie H North Carolina USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 47

STANDARDS AND FRIENDS

Since Irsquove been in school Irsquove had friends who havenrsquot understood the

moral standards of our religion At first it was difficult but over time

my friends have become used to the idea of my being morally clean I

made a goal in my life to be clean and pure and itrsquos worked out well both

for me and for those who used to criticize me Over time respect peace and

joy have become a part of our loving circle of friends

Vitoacuteria M Brazil

A DIFFICULT DECISION

FORGIVINGMY FRIENDS

As the only member of the

Church in my peer group

Irsquove experienced some

instances when my friends have

offended me Sometimes they judge

and criticize my religion I feel so

alone yet Irsquom thankful I know the

standards of the Church

If my friends offend me I try to

humble myself and avoid contention

because I know contention is evil When they start discussing some mat-

ters about the Church I just testify of

my belief in the gospel

I always forgive my friends with or

without their apology Forgiving is not

just about saying ldquoApology acceptedrdquo

or ldquoItrsquos OKrdquo because forgiveness has

a deep meaning Jesus Christ atoned

for our sins so that Heavenly Father

can forgive usEven though my friends donrsquot

understand my faith now I know that

I can be Godrsquos instrument to teach

them the gospel I am helping them

and at the same time I am helping

myself to grow spiritually and prepare

to serve a mission

Joshua V Philippines

As volleyball tryouts approached for my senior year in high

school I couldnrsquot believe the thought that was running through

my head I wasnrsquot supposed to play volleyball Irsquod played vol-

leyball since seventh grademdashwhy should this year be any different

Not seeing the sense in quitting I ignored the feeling and continued

to participate in summer volleyball events After a while the feeling

came back so I decided that if I really wasnrsquot supposed to be on the

team my coach would just cut me during tryouts

Then one night at the gym I couldnrsquot focus on the game at all I felt

terrible and restless inside I came home frustrated with my team and

with myself I sat next to my mom and sister and cried I told them

how confused I was and my mom told me to pray and ask Heavenly

Father what He wanted me to do I went up to my room and began to

pray I told Heavenly Father how I felt then I asked Him to help mefeel peace if I was not supposed to continue playing volleyball I felt

His peace in my heart and knew that I needed to quit

Irsquom still not sure all the reasons why that was the right

decision but I know that itrsquos what the Lord

wanted me to do and thatrsquos a good

enough reason for me

The next morning I told my

coach and my teammates that

I wasnrsquot going to be playing

Even though it was incrediblyhard I knew I was doing

the right thing

Klaire B Arizona USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5252

WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 652

4 N e w E r a

describes you I warn you to stop it Stop it now

The Book of Mormon teaches that all people ldquoare

instructed sufficiently that they know good from evilrdquo

(2 Nephi 25) That includes you You know what is rightand what is wrong Be very careful not to cross that line

Although most mistakes can be confessed privately to

the Lord there are some transgressions that require more

than that to bring about forgiveness If your mistakes

have been grievous see your bishop Otherwise ordinary

confession quietly and personally will do But remember

that great morning of forgiveness may not come all at once

If at first you stumble do not give up Overcoming discour-

agement is part of the test Do not give up And as I have

counseled before once you have confessed and forsaken your sins do not look back

The Lord is always there He is willing to suffer and

pay the penalty if you are willing to accept Him as your

Redeemer

The Saviorrsquos Suffering for Our Sins

As mortals we may notmdashindeed cannotmdashunderstand

fully how Jesus Christ fulfilled His atoning sacrifice But for

now the how is not as important as the why of His suffer-

ing Why did He do it for you for me for all of humanity

He did it for the love of God the Father and all mankind

ldquoGreater love hath no man than this that a man lay down

his life for his friendsrdquo ( John 1513)

In Gethsemane Christ went apart from His Apostles to

pray Whatever transpired is beyond our power to know

But we do know that He completed the Atonement He

was willing to take upon Himself the mistakes the sins and

guilt the doubts and fears of all the world He suffered for

us so that we would not have to suffer

Complete Forgiveness Is Possible

If you have stumbled or even been lost for a time if

you feel that the adversary now holds you captive you

can move forward with faith and not wander to and fro in

the world any longer There are those who stand ready to

guide you back to peace and security The grace of God

as promised in the scriptures comes ldquoafter all we can dordquo

(2 Nephi 2523) The possibility of this to me is the truth

most worth knowingI promise that the brilliant morning of forgiveness can

come Then ldquothe peace of God which passeth all under-

standingrdquo (Philippians 47) comes into your life once again

something like a sunrise and you and He ldquowill remember

[your] sin no morerdquo ( Jeremiah 3134) How will you know

you have been forgiven You will know (See Mosiah

41ndash3)

This is what I have come to teach you who are in

trouble He will step in and solve the problem you

cannot solve but you have to pay the price It does notcome without doing that He is a very kind ruler in the

sense that He will always pay the price necessary but He

wants you to do what you should even if it is painful

I love the Lord and I love the Father who sent Him

Our burdens of disappointment sin and guilt can

be laid before Him and on His generous terms each

item on the account can be marked ldquopaid in fullrdquo (See

Isaiah 118ndash19)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 5

Live Faithfully and Remain Worthy

The scripture ldquolearn wisdom in thy youth yea learn in thy

youth to keep the commandments of Godrdquo (Alma 3735) is

an invitation attended by the promise of peace and protec-

tion from the adversary (See also 1 Timothy 412)

Do not expect that all will go smoothly throughout

your life Even for those who are living as they should

it sometimes will be just the opposite Meet each of lifersquos

challenges with optimism and surety and you will have the

peace and faith to sustain you now and in the future

For those who do not yet have all of the blessings youfeel you want and need to have I firmly believe that no

experience or opportunity essential for redemption and

salvation will be denied you who live faithfully Remain

worthy be hopeful patient and prayerful Things have

a way of working out The gift of the Holy Ghost will guide

you and direct your actions

I know you as the youth of the Church and I under-

stand that yoursquore not perfect but you are moving along that

road Have courage Know that any person who has a body

has power over one who has not1 Satan is denied a body

so if ever you are confronted with temptations know that

you outrank all those temptations if you will exercise the

agency given to Adam and Eve in the garden and passed

on to this very generation NE From a devotional given at Brigham Young University on November 6 2011

For the full text go to speechesbyuedu

NOTE

1 See Teachings of Presidents of the Church Joseph Smith (2007) 211

I promise that the brilliant morning of forgiveness can come

Find help overcoming pornographyat ldsorggoovercomeNE8

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 852

6 N e w E r a

By Mindy Raye FriedmanChurch Magazines

When they meet someone they

offer the person a piece of banana

bread When the person accepts he

or she is told that although the bread

is delicious and good for the body

the missionaries have a message that

will be nourishing to the personrsquos soul

The young men and their companions

then invite the person to meet withthe missionaries In this way theyrsquove

been able to get 40 to 50 referrals for

the missionaries in a couple of hours

The young men also fellowship the

members of their own quorums On

Saturdays they meet for a Young Men

983137983150983137983150983137 Be983137d

For these young men sharing a slice of bread has blessed

countless lives including their own

activity and to work on Duty to

God Then they visit the less-active

members of their quorum They

encourage them to attend church

and then invite them to come back

to play sports or participate in

another activity

In this way and many others

these young men are preparing tobe lifelong missionaries Two of

them (at right) share how they feel

strengthened and inspired by their

experiences

Missionaries

If someone offered you a piece

of delicious banana bread how

would you react For the young

men in a ward in Ecuador thatrsquos

one way they start conversations

about the gospel

Every two months they have a

missionary day with open houses in a

different area of their ward They splitinto several teams each made up of

a young man a full-time or recently

returned missionary and an elder or

high priest Some of the groups work

at a tent some go to contact people

in the park and some go door to door

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Ihave been a member of the Church

for five years My parents are not

members but my uncle Jorge is

the Young Men president and he

has been a great support I am also

grateful to my bishop for his con-

stant support and encouragement

I decided to get closer to the

Church after one of the missionary

days they had in the ward It was

one of my first experiences that

motivated me to join the Church As

a deacon teacher and now a priestmy leaders have always supported

and encouraged me to participate

in all of the missionary work activ-

ities I like the open houses where

I have the opportunity to share

with others the blessing of being a

member of Christrsquos Church What

inspires me most are the service

Changed by

the Gospel

Your Missio983150983137ry Ex983152erie983150ce s

As a deacon I learned my

responsibilities thanks to the

support of my parents and lead-

ers and working with the goals

in the Duty to God booklet As a

teacher I learned more by going

to do visits as a home teacher

participating in the open houses

on the missionary days sharing

banana bread attending Mutual

and participating in ward and

stake activities

Now as a priest I get tofocus more on missionary work

Working with the Young Men

president and as an assistant to

the bishop I have learned much

more about my responsibilities as

a priesthood holder

Our leaders constantly invite

us to come with them and the

full-time missionaries so that we

can become familiar with mis-sionary work They also exhort

us to read the scriptures espe-

cially the Book of Mormon All

of these experiences motivate

and prepare me to receive the

higher priesthood and to serve

a full-time mission

Isaac G 17

Learning My

Responsibilities

activities where I have the oppor-

tunity to serve my neighbor as

Jesus taught us to do

A year ago my younger broth-

ers Luis age 15 and Israel age 12

joined the Church Together we

have been working on the projects

in Duty to God and since their

baptisms we have shared wonderful

experiences working together All of

the young men in the ward are very

close and we support each other

I know that baptism is the gateto enter the kingdom of heaven

When we are in the service of

our fellow beings we are in the

service of God (see Mosiah 217)

Missionary work blesses fami-

lies and I know that my life has

changed because of the gospel

Alvaro T 17

How have you shared the gospel through small and simple means

Share your stories by visiting neweraldsorg and clicking ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo or by emailing neweraldschurchorg

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8 N e w E r a

By Thomas E Robinson III

F R O M T H E M I S S I O N F I E L D

One small prompting can

change lives for the better

A M I RAC LE

ATT H E

AI RP O RT

s a new missionary in Japan I

had a hard time understanding

anyone let alone getting to

know them It was difficult

to learn to love people I didnrsquot even

know especially when I couldnrsquot

understand what they were saying

But I made an effort to show mylove for them and I appreciated their

efforts to reach out to me

Each week my companion and I

received a loaf of homemade bread

from a sister in the ward named Sister

Senba She showed her love for the

missionaries by baking homemade

bread and writing small but heartfelt

notes

I was touched that someone caredabout me I felt impressed to show my

gratitude to her in some small way

I wrote her a note expressing how

grateful I was for her and the sacri-

fices she and her family made to help

the missionaries We became friends

and I began to think of her as my

ldquomother away from homerdquo

A

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Months passed Early one

Wednesday morning I received a

call from my mission president

who asked me to transfer down to

Okinawa When I hung up the phone

I was filled with the most bittersweet

feeling I dreaded having to say my

good-byes Each phone call to tell

members of the ward I would be

leaving on the following day made

my heart hurt Saying good-bye to thepeople I had come to love so much

was more difficult than I had imag-

ined it would be

As I finished these calls I noticed

that the only one who had not

answered the phone was Sister Senba

I was sad I would not be able to say

good-bye to a member who had

become so close to my heart

The next morning two other mis-sionaries and I left for the airport

When we arrived at the ticket counter

and tried to buy tickets the work-

ers told us that our cards had been

declined We did not have any money

to pay for the tickets and the flight

was leaving in 10 minutes The three

of us were in a panic We were about

to miss the flight and be stranded at

the airport for the dayBut all of my panic turned to com-

fort when I turned around and saw

Sister Senba walk into the airport

I was shocked that she was there

because she hadnrsquot known what time

our flight was As she scrambled over

to us she smiled and gave us all bread

to bring onto the plane

As we explained to her that we

were going to miss our flight she

became saddened None of us knew

what to do Then Sister Senba began

rummaging through her purse look-

ing for something that could help us

She jumped happily into the air when

she found a small envelope in her

purse in which weeks ago she had

placed yen50000mdashthe exact amount of

money we needed She gave us the

At that moment I felt the Spirit

more strongly than I ever have before

Sister Senbarsquos example taught me how

important it is to follow the prompt-

ings of the Spiritmdashno matter how

small or strange the prompting might

seem Through these promptings we

have the power to change lives for

the better I know it was not a coinci-

dence that she came to the airport It

was a miracle

TRULY THE LORD USES SMALL MEANS TO

BRING ABOUT HIS WORK

money and we were able to get our

tickets in time We thanked her with

every ounce of gratitude our souls

could muster said good-bye and

rushed onto the plane After the plane took off my fellow

missionary turned to me and said

ldquoIsnrsquot she amazing That was

a miraclerdquo

I then realized how truly mirac-

ulous it really was He then said

ldquoWhat does your note sayrdquo I saw he

was reading a note that was with the

bread Sister Senba had given

him As I realized I had onetoo I pulled out the note

and read a small piece of

paper personally addressed

to me which immediately

made my eyes swell with

tears It said ldquoI love you

Please donrsquot forget me I

will never forget yourdquo

Truly the Lord uses small means to

bring about His work How blessed

we are as members of this Church to

have His influence in our lives Let

us all remain worthy to receive thesepromptings and bless the lives of the

children of God NE

Thomas E Robinson III lives in Utah USA

Editorrsquos note Sister Senba was promptly

reimbursed by the mission

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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When I got my first paycheck for my first real job (at a

sandwich shop) I rewarded myself with a shopping

spree I bought some music and a cute outfit After

spending every dollar Irsquod earned I thought about

my purchases

ldquoThere goes two whole weeks of workrdquo I

thought And a sick feeling started to grow inmy stomach

As I thought about all those hours of hard work mak-

ing sandwiches my superficial purchases hardly seemed

worth it I vowed to be more careful with my money

So from then on I saved every penny for college and a pos-

sible mission and never bought anything I wanted ever again

Yeah right

I was still a normal teenager who wanted stylish clothes

good music and fun activities with my friends But coming

from a big family I knew that if I wanted those things I wouldhave to save money to pay for them myself

It might sound impossible but I found ways to be finan-

cially prepared for the future and have fun at the same timemdash

even with a part-time job that didnrsquot pay very much Here are

some tips on how you can increase your ldquomoney smartsrdquo

10 N e w E r a

HOW TO BEMONEY SMART

By Arianne Cope

Y O U W O R K H A R D F O R Y O U R M O N E Y A fewi983149983152le 983152ri983150ci983152les c983137983150 983149983137ke your c983137sh 983143o further

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A BUDGET THAT WORKS

Yoursquove probably been told about budgets

from the day you earned your first nickel or

dime Thatrsquos because it really works A bud-get is a plan that will help you make the best

use of what you earn and save Herersquos one

way you can set up a budget of your own

1 Decide on a time frame for your budget

Most budgets plan for expenses monthly

2 Add up every dollar you plan to make

to figure out your expected income (Or

use last monthrsquos earnings for this monthrsquos

spending so you have an exact amount

available)

3 Calculate how much yoursquoll need to pay

for tithing along with any other offerings

you might want to give

4 Create a list of things you think yoursquoll pur-

chase throughout the month along with

how much theyrsquoll probably cost

5 Separate your needs from your wants

because yoursquoll want to spend your money

on needs first

6 Subtract the total cost of your needs from

your total income

7 Set aside a little money each month for

your wants

8 After paying for tithing and your imme-

diate needs put most of the money thatrsquos

left into savings Look to the future and set

a plan to save for college a mission (par-

ticularly young men) or other big things

Think about how much you need to save

every month to meet the financial goals

you have for those big things in the future

9 Remember that making your budget work

takes solid planning a strong commit-

ment and self-discipline Itrsquos tough but

itrsquos worth it

SHOPPING PRINCIPLES

If yoursquore like most teenagers yoursquore prob-

ably going to want to spend some of your

money at the mall at a store or online So

yoursquoll want to know some basic principles

about shopping before you go

bull Decide what yoursquore planning to buy

before you go shopping Then stick to

your plan and avoid the habit of buying

things on impulse

bull Buy something only if you really love it

Donrsquot let your friends a salesperson or an

advertisement talk you into buying some-

thing yoursquore not going to use often

bull Remember that the word sale doesnrsquot

always mean yoursquore getting a good deal

Look for the best quality at the lowest

price Sometimes that means paying a

little bit more for something that will last a

lot longer

bull Ask yourself if you can live without the

item Remember the old adage ldquoFix it up

wear it out make it do or do withoutrdquo

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 11

T H E B O O K O F M O R M O N

CONCERT

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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SOME FINAL TIPS

Just to finish here are some general

money-related guidelines to keep in mind

bull Keep track of your money and keep it in

a safe place

bull You canrsquot buy happiness but being will-

ing to share usually results in a smile

bull Avoid gambling of any kind

bull Be cautious of things that seem too good

to be truemdashthey usually are

The most important lesson about money

however is to keep in mind that wersquore not

here on earth to get rich or to have a lot of

fancy things Remember these truths from

the Doctrine and Covenants ldquoSeek not for

riches but for wisdom and behold the mys-

teries of God shall be unfolded unto you

and then shall you be made rich Behold he

that hath eternal life is richrdquo (DampC 67) NE

Arianne Cope lives in Utah USA

THE FUN STUFF

Herersquos a little-known fact a half-gallon

of ice cream from the grocery store tastes

almost as good as ice cream from an ice-cream shop Also a fact you can often buy

a half-gallon of ice cream for the same price

yoursquod pay for a single serving at an ice-

cream shop So if you need to save some

money suggest that your friends all split a

half-gallon from the store rather than spend-

ing a lot more at the ice-cream shop

And thatrsquos just one example of simple

money solutions You can be frugal in lots of

ways while still having a great time

bull Watch the newspaper or look online to

find free community or local events

bull If you want to see a movie go to a mati-

nee or a dollar theater for cheaper tickets

bull Plan ahead Make a list of ideas of free

things to do with your friends so you

wonrsquot rely on spending money to enter-

tain yourselves

bull Have fun outdoors without paying much

(if anything) Enjoy a campfire in the

canyon or on the beach or a free Frisbee

game at the parkmdashthey can be just

as much fun as going to a movie or a

concert

12 N e w E r a

FACT YOU CAN OFTEN BUY A HALF-GALLON OF

ICE CREAM FOR THE SAME PRICE YOUrsquoD PAY FOR A

SINGLE SERVING AT AN ICE-CREAM SHOP

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 13

3 Nephi 1815 20ndash21Jesus Christ taught the Nephites the importance of prayer

Editorrsquos note This page is not meant to be a com-

prehensive explanation of the selected seminary

scripture mastery verses only a starting point for

your own study

983148983141983155983156 983161983141 983138983141 983156983141983149983152983156983141983140

This is one of many scriptures

that teach how praying can help

us escape Satanrsquos temptations (see

also DampC 105 3112 and 6139)

Here are some other blessings thescriptures promise when you obey

the command to pray always What

blessings have you received

bull You will be worthy to stand in the

presence of God (see Luke 2136)

bull The Lord will consecrate your

efforts (see 2 Nephi 329)

bull The Spirit will be poured upon

you (see DampC 1938)

bull You will be given strength toendure (see DampC 88126)

bull Things will work out for your

good (see DampC 9024)

983152983154983137983161 983137983148983159983137983161983155

ldquoWe should be alone

with our Heavenly

Father at least two

or three times each

daymdashlsquomorning mid-day and eve-ningrsquo as the scripture indicates (Alma

3421) In addition we are told to

pray always (See 2 Ne 329 DampC

88126) This means that our hearts

should be full drawn out in prayer

unto our Heavenly Father continually

(See Alma 3427)rdquo

President Ezra Taft Benson (1899ndash1994) ldquoPray

Alwaysrdquo Ensign Feb 1990 2

L I N E U P O N L I N E

983159983144983137983156983155983151983141983158983141983154 983161983141 983155983144983137983148983148 983137983155983147

In the scriptures the Lord repeatedly

promises to answer our prayers if we

will but ask What can you learn from

these scriptures about how to ask and

receive answers What other scriptures

can you find that teach about this

bull James 15ndash6

bull 1 Nephi 1511

bull Enos 12ndash15

bull Mormon 921

bull DampC 810

bull DampC 4630ndash32

983159983144983145983139983144 983145983155 983154983145983143983144983156

ldquoHere the Savior

reminds us that faith

no matter how strong

it is cannot produce

a result contrary to the will of him

whose power it is The exercise of

faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is always

subject to the order of heaven to

the goodness and will and wisdom

and timing of the Lord That is why we cannot have true faith in the

Lord without also having complete

trust in the Lordrsquos will and in the

Lordrsquos timingrdquo

Elder Dallin H Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles ldquo lsquoFaith in the Lord Jesus Christrsquo rdquo

Ensign May 1994 100

983137983148983159983137983161983155 983145983150 983149983161 983150983137983149983141

Praying in Christrsquos name means

more than just ending our prayers

in the name of Jesus Christ The

Bible Dictionary teaches ldquoWe pray

in Christrsquos name when our mind isthe mind of Christ and our wishes

the wishes of Christmdashwhen His

words abide in us (John 157) We

then ask for things it is possible for

God to grant Many prayers remain

unanswered because they are not

in Christrsquos name at all they in no

way represent His mind but spring

out of the selfishness of manrsquos

heartrdquo (ldquoPrayerrdquo)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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By ElderJoseacute L Alonso

Of the Seventy

LINKED PRAYERS COUNSELING WITH THE LORD

ldquoThere may be things in our character in our behavior or concerningour spiritual growth about which we need to counsel with HeavenlyFather in morning prayer After expressing appropriate thanks for

blessings received we plead for understanding direction and helpto do the things we cannot do in our own strength alone

ldquoAt the end of our day we kneel again and report back to our Father We reviewthe events of the day and express heartfelt thanks for the blessings and the helpwe received We repent and with the assistance of the Spirit of the Lord identifyways we can do and become better tomorrow Thus our evening prayer buildsupon and is a continuation of our morning prayer And our evening prayer also is apreparation for meaningful morning prayerrdquo

Elder David A Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles ldquoPray Alwaysrdquo Ensign Nov 2008 41ndash42

14 N e w E r a

When I was 15 I went

to live with my father

while I finished high

school He lived and

worked in another city and had joined

the Church I didnrsquot know he was

a member but I saw that he acted

differently He acted with love and

kindness and was interested in myconcerns and needs

The first night I arrived I was

so hungry We sat down for dinner

and I started to eat but my father

said ldquoWait a minute We need to

prayrdquo I said ldquoWe need to what rdquo I

didnrsquot even know what the word

pray meant My father explained

that he was going to thank God our

Heavenly Father for the food we

had received from Him and then

we could eat My father prayed

and in his prayer he mentioned myname and asked for God to bless

me I felt something wonderful That

was the first time I felt the Spirit so

strongly in my life

My father taught me to pray to

Heavenly Father on my own Later

when the missionaries taught me

about Joseph Smithrsquos prayer I imme-

diately felt that it was possible for the

Lord to answer the prayer of a young

man The missionaries asked me to

read the Book of Mormon and to pray

to know if Jesus is the Christ if JosephSmith was a prophet and if the Book

of Mormon is true

That night I read the story in

3 Nephi 11 of when Jesus visits the

Nephites I was in a private place

so I got down on my knees and I

prayed Even though I was only 15 I

had faith that the Lord would answer

my prayer I received an impression

in my mind as clear as anything Ihad ever seen that Jesus is the Christ

Joseph Smith was a prophet and

the Book of Mormon is true I felt

like Joseph Smith after that prayer

I was so happy to truly know that

Heavenly Father answers prayers

from young people

Irsquod Never PRAYED BEFORE

i983150 Th983137t W983137y

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 1752

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 15

WHAT KEPT ME STRONG

D983137ily P983137yer

As a teenager in an area with-

out a lot of Church members

I found that daily prayer was one

of the most important things that

helped me stay spiritually strong

I made sure to pray every day and

developed a pattern that helped

memdashmorning and evening prayers

When I heard

my father prayfor the rst timel felt something

wonderful

MORNING PRAYERS

Every morning I would share with

the Lord

bull My plans for the day

bull What I wanted to do

bull What I thought the Lord

wanted me to do

I would present my plans to

God and then ask for the Lordrsquos

help in accomplishing them

EVENING PRAYERS

Every evening I would

bull Report on how my day went

and if I had accomplished the

things I had set out to do

bull Share things that had been

difficult for me

bull Share things that I had learned

from people or through the

Spirit that dayThe more I prayed the more

I learned to understand and

receive impressions from the

Holy Ghost These impressions

helped me gain more strength

to follow the direction of the

Lord NE

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 1852

16 N e w E r a

With canteen in hand I was prepared for my

second 50-mile hike and campout in the

Uinta Mountains I was about as well pre-

pared as a 14-year-old could be My equip-

ment was all set to go my boots were sturdy and my pack

was full of all the essentials

The day of the hike arrived and our

leaders reminded our group of young men

that the mountains could be very danger-

ous Hikers and campers were often lost

in the rugged hills and on the numerous

trails We were warned not to wander

away from the path Our leadersmdashmy

father includedmdashall seemed concerned

for our safety and were anxious to keep

us from straying off of our chosen pathBeing one of the stronger hikers and

a leader in the group I soon found myself

and three other boys leading the way

Sometimes we waited for our group at the

forks in the trail to make sure we followed

the correct path and would not become lost

We hiked for hours laughing and joking all the way We

were having a great time Suddenly we heard frantic calls

and the sounds of running We knew something must have

gone wrong We wondered if maybe some of the grouphad become lost I was concerned for the friends Irsquod left

behind with the leaders Something bad must have happened

We stopped to listen so we could hear what the distant

voices were yelling We heard our names More specifically

I heard my name being called I recognized my fatherrsquos

voice We called back and heard their heavy footsteps coming

in our direction

Something bad had happened We learned that

four of the boys in our group had strayed from

the correct path and had become lost It was us

We were the ones who were lost My father was

thankful to have finally found us and together we

began the hike back to the correct trail

In my head I retraced my footsteps I couldnrsquot

figure out how Irsquod become lost I felt like I was

still on the original path Irsquod been so sure We

retraced our steps and my father showed us aturn we had missed It was just a small path with

a little hidden sign marking the correct way

We had hiked two miles off the right trail

We were thankful wersquod been found

before dark For the rest of the hike

we stayed close to our leaders and the rest of the

group and were never in danger again

Sometimes our overconfidence as youth

gives us an unrealistic sense of independence

We push on without consulting our parentsor leaders We fail to ask for advice We feel

By Duncan Anderson

Mile Hike

The

We stoppedto listen so we

could hear whatthe distant voices

were yellingWe heard ournames We

called back andheard their heavyfootsteps comingin our direction

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 17

certain wersquore headed in a direction leading to the right

destination We laugh and joke and enjoy the path until itrsquos

too late too dark and wersquore lost

When it comes to choosing the right trails in life our

Heavenly Father has provided tools to guide us and keep us

on the path that leads to Him We have the scriptures prayer

and revelation our parents guidelines like For the Strength

of Youth and our Church leaders to guide us through the

countless options life offers

When we do stray off the path itrsquos often our loving parents

and dedicated leaders who come to the rescue They can

guide us back to the correct way and show us where we

went wrong Through repentance we can correct those

wrongs and start fresh on the right path headed toward the

destination that will give us eternal happiness and a life in the

presence of our Heavenly Father NE

Duncan Anderson lives in Utah USA

CHOOSING RIGHT PATHS

ldquoI plead with you to make a determi-nation right here right now notto deviate from the path which willlead to our goal eternal life with ourFather in Heaven Along that straight

and true path there are other goals missionaryservice temple marriage Church activity scripturestudy prayer temple work There are countless wor-thy goals to reach as we travel through life Neededis our commitment to reach themrdquo

President Thomas S Monson ldquoThe Three Rs of Choicerdquo

Ensign Nov 2010 68

NEED ADVICE

Is there anything yoursquod like advice on Donrsquot be afraid to ask your

parents or Church leaders Remember they are there to help you

no matter what yoursquod like to talk about

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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One of the things we agree

to do as part of the bap-

tismal covenant is ldquoto

stand as witnesses of

God at all times and in all things and in

all places that [we] may be inrdquo (Mosiah

189) And incidentally we renew this

covenant every week when we partake

of the sacramentIn the April 2014 general conference

several speakers reminded us that there

will be times when standing as a witness

of God will mean having to face oppo-

sition criticism and ridicule So what

should you do when yoursquore required

to take the uncomfortable uncool or

unpopular step of defending your beliefs

By David A Edwards

Church Magazines

Be brave and humble firm and gentle

all at the same time With the Lordrsquos

help itrsquos not as hard as it sounds

18 N e w E r a

of Defe983150di983150983143Your Beliefs

Dorsquos 983137983150d

Donrsquots

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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you should rely on the Spiritto guide your defense of your

faith Bear testimony by the

Spirit Thatrsquos the Lordrsquos way

(See also DampC 1005ndash8)

The point here is not that

you should avoid any discus-

sion in which people have dif-

fering points of view Rather it

has to do with your intent as

well as the emotions involved

We should seek understand-

ing and try to persuade withmeekess not just score points

and prove wersquore right and

someone else is wrong A

discussion where people are

getting really worked up and

angry is one you should either

try to soften or simply avoid

Heavenly Father has given

you the gift of the Holy Ghost

and you should take advan-

tage of this gift This doesnrsquot

mean reason and logic canrsquot

be inspired or confirmed by

the Spirit it just means that

Elder W Craig Zwick of

the Seventy has explained

this scripture this way ldquoA lsquosoft

answerrsquo consists of a reasoned

responsemdashdisciplined words

from a humble heart It does

not mean we never speak

directly or that we compro-

mise doctrinal truth Words

that may be firm in infor-

mation can be soft in spiritrdquo

(ldquoWhat Are You Thinkingrdquo

Ensign May 2014 42)

ldquoA SOFT ANSWER TURNETH AWAY

wr983137thBUT

GRIEVOUS WORDS stir u983152 983137983150983143errdquo

(Proverbs 151)

ldquoBeholdI send you forthas sheep in the

midst of wolves be ye therefore wise as serpents

and h983137r983149less as dovesrdquo

(Matthew 1016)

The Savior doesnrsquot want

you to be ignorant or naiumlve

but He also doesnrsquot want you

to attack anyone Knowing

what goes on in the world

doesnrsquot mean we have to

use its tactics

ldquoCONTEND AGAINST

NO CHURCHrdquo (DampC 1820)

There is no need to

criticize other churches

Positive statements of your

beliefs rather than negative

statements about others will

be most effective As the

Prophet Joseph Smith said

ldquoWe donrsquot ask any people

to throw away any good

they have got we only ask

them to come and get morerdquo

(Teachings of Presidents

of the Church Joseph

Smith [2007] 155)

ldquoAND THOUSHALT DECLARE

983143l983137d tidi983150983143s ldquoAND THOU SHALTDO IT WITH 983137ll hu983149ilityTRUSTING IN ME 983154evili983150983143 983150ot

AGAINST REVILERSrdquo

(DampC 1929ndash30)

The tidings you declare

are glad Remember that

and make sure your face and

your voice show it too Also

the word revile here means

to hurl abusive or insulting

language at a person So if

ldquoFOR I AM

NOT ASHAMED

OF THE GOSPEL OF CHRISTrdquo

(Romans 116)

As President Thomas S

Monson has said ldquoWe will all

face fear experience ridiculeand meet opposition Let

usmdashall of usmdashhave the courage

to defy the consensus the

courage to stand for prin-

ciple Courage not com-

promise brings the smile of

Godrsquos approvalrdquo (ldquoBe Strong

and of a Good Couragerdquo

Ensign May 2014 69)

The scriptures give you some basic principles for standing up for your faith including the following

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 19

ldquoWe s983152e983137k

NOT IN THE WORDS which 983149983137983150rsquos

WISDOM TEACH ETH

but which THE HOLY GHOST

TEACHETHrdquo

(1 Corinthians 213)

ldquoHE THATHATH THE

SPIRIT OF CONTENTIONIS NOT OF ME

BUT ISOF THE DEVIL

WHO IS THE FATHER OFCONTENTION AND

HE STIRRETH UPTHE HEARTS

OF MEN

TO CONTEND WITH ANGER

ONE WITH ANOTHERrdquo(3 Nephi 1129)

HERErsquoS SOME ADVICE FROM THE SCRIPTURES

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2252

How Do You Defend Do you have experi-ence in defending yourbeliefs Or do you haveideas to add to theselists Go to ldsorggodefendNE8 and share

Finding Courage

Read more on this topic atldsorggocourageNE8

someonersquos doing that to you

donrsquot retaliate and do the

same thing back to them The

Apostle Peter taught that the

Savior Himself gave the exam-

ple you should follow in thisregard (see 1 Peter 223)

ldquoLOVE YOUR ENEMIESbless them

that curse you

DO GOOD TO T HEMTHAT HATE YOU

and pray for

them which

DESPITEFULLY USE YOUAND PERSECUTE YOUrdquo

(Matthew 544)ldquoSEE THAT YE ARE NOT lifted u983152 u983150to

983152ride ye983137 SEE THAT YE DO

NOT BOAST IN YOUR

OWN WISDOM

983150or of your 983149uch stre983150983143thldquoUSE BOLDNESS

BUT NOT

OVERBEARANCErdquo (Alma 3811ndash12)

Here the word tenets

refers to opinions or teachings

that go beyond the basics So

the Lord is saying to stick to

the basic message of the gos-

pel when yoursquore declaring Hisglad tidings This also applies

to defending your faith

You donrsquot need to stray into

detailed discussions about

every little thing related to the

Church As Elder Richard G

Scott of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles has said

ldquoKeep your sharing of the

gospel simple rdquo (ldquo lsquoI HaveGiven You an Examplerdquo

Ensign May 2014 34)

ldquoEveryone independent

of his or her decisions and

beliefs deserves our kind-

ness and considerationrdquo said

Elder Neil L Andersen of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles ldquoThe Savior

taught us to love not only

our friends but also those

who disagree with usmdashand

even those who repudiate

usrdquo (ldquoSpiritual Whirlwindsrdquo

Ensign May 2014 20)

Again be humble Itrsquos not

about you or how smart and

capable you are Also you can

be bold without making over-

blown statements or being

a verbal or intellectual bully

As Elder Jeffrey R Holland

of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoYou willone day find yourself called

upon to defend your faith

Such moments will require

both courage and courtesy

on your partrdquo (ldquoThe Costmdashand

Blessingsmdashof Discipleshiprdquo

Ensign May 2014 6)

ldquoA983150d of te983150ets thou sh983137lt 983150ot t983137lk but thou shalt

declare repentance andfaith on the Savior and 983154e983149issio983150 of si983150sby baptism and by fire

yea even the Holy Ghostrdquo(DampC 1931)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2452

22 N e w E r a

I received my first two-wheel bicycle

when I was eight years old With

the help of my older brother and

father I began the rather scary pro-

cess of figuring out how to ride it The other kids in the neighborhood

made it look so easy and natural as

they zoomed up and down the street

on their bikes I perched on the bike

seatmdashwhich seemed to be at least

10 feet (3 m) above the groundmdashand

realized there was absolutely noth-

ing to keep me from falling over and

proving that the law of gravity was

alive and well As I tried riding I learned quickly

that if I wanted to stay balanced I had

to keep pedaling When I first sat on

the seat speed was the last thing I

wanted to add to the already daunting

equation But I very soon understood

the wisdom and the physics involved

in moving forward As long as I kept

pedaling I could stay upright and

avoid the rough concrete just waiting

to take the skin off my arms and legs

Soon I was zipping around the neigh-

borhood with my friends

Defy Gr983137vity Defy Gr983137vity

of the First Presidency as outlined

in that booklet our lives will be bal-

anced and steady We will be led

where we want to go

We need to keep moving forwardto avoid falling To do that we should

consistently and faithfully do certain

actions

bull Pray morning and night

bull Study the scriptures daily

bull Attend Church meetings and par-

take of the sacrament worthily

bull Serve those around us

bull Be worthy to attend the temple

All of these actions keep us moving

forward in the right direction

Thatrsquos why reading and being famil-

iar with the standards described in For

the Strength of Youth will help ensure

we are making choices consistent with

Godrsquos standards Living these princi-

ples and keeping the commandments

F O R T H E S T R E N G T H O F Y O U T H

By Bonnie LOscarson

Young WomenGeneral President

As you keep moving forward you can stay upright even

when outside forces try to pull you down

Just as those who keep

pedaling a bike can stay

upright despite gravityrsquos

influence those who are

guided by the Holy Spirit in

all they do can withstand

the influence of theadversary

So it is with living the gospel and

the standards in For the Strength of

Youth It takes faith to believe that if

we consistently follow the counsel

GO FORWARD WITH FAITH

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 23

invite the Holy Ghost to be our con-

stant companion Just as those who

keep pedaling a bike can stay upright

despite gravityrsquos influence those who

are guided by the Holy Spirit in allthey do can withstand the influence of

the adversary

What are the destinations you have

in mind as you pedal forward For all

young men of the Aaronic Priesthood

preparing now for a full-time mission

is important in forward growth For

all youth being prepared to go to the

temple and receive the endowment by

making and keeping sacred covenantsshould also be a primary goal

As the message from the First

Presidency at the beginning of For the

Strength of Youth says ldquoIn all that you

do stay focused on the temple In the

temple you will receive the greatest

of all the Lordrsquos blessings including

marriage for time and all eternityrdquo1

Receiving the covenant of eternal

marriage in the house of the Lord and

becoming righteous husbands wives

fathers and mothers may seem far

down the road but the time to beginpreparing is now All of these things

lead to the most glorious and grand

destination of allmdasheternal life with

our Heavenly Father

One of my favorite scriptures

sums up what we need to do in order

to keep moving toward our goals

ldquoWherefore ye must press forward

with a steadfastness in Christ hav-

ing a perfect brightness of hopeand a love of God and of all men

Wherefore if ye shall press forward

feasting upon the word of Christ and

endure to the end behold thus saith

the Father Ye shall have eternal liferdquo

(2 Nephi 3120)

Just as I learned as an eight-year-

old girl that I needed to keep pedaling

and moving forward in order to defy

gravity and keep my balance on my

bicycle it is important for all of us to

keep moving forward with faith trust-

ing in the counsel of living prophetsand a loving Heavenly Father to keep

us from falling Some of our destina-

tions are just down the road while

others will take a lifetime of faithful

living to achieve The promises of

what lies at the end of the road if we

are faithful are certain and glorious

and well worth the ride NE

NOTE

1 For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

Learn MoreSee whatrsquos next in your covenant path

at ldsorggocovenantNE8

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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24 N e w E r a

BOA R D

GA M E S

B y Da vid Chris tensen

My chance to play le f t

a lasting impact but it

wasnrsquot what Irsquod e xpected

L o s i n

g s o

q u i c k

l y w

a s b

a d e

n o u

g h

b

u t t o

m a k

e m

a t t e r s

w o r s e

t h

e o t h

e r g

u y

s s t a r t e

d t o

m a k

e

f u n

o f

m e

I

t r i e d

t o c o

n t i n

u e

p l a y i n g

e v e

n t h

o u

g h

t h e y

w e r

e b

e i n

g m

e a n

b

u t i t

w a s h

a r d t o h o

l d b

a c k m y t e

a r s

o f f r u s t

r a t i o n

U

n f o

r t u n a t e l y

o n e t e

a r t r i c k l e

d d

o w

n m y

c h e e

k b

e f o

r e I

c o u

l d w i p

e i t

a w a y M

y b

r o t h

e r

s a w i t

a n d

t e a s e

d m

e t o

o

I c o

u l d

n rsquo t

t a k e i t

a n y

m o r e

a n d

r a n t o

m y

r o o m

I g a v e m y s e l

f a q u i c k p i n

c h

t o m a k e s u r

e I w a s n rsquo

t d r e a m i n g

a n d t h e

n I v o i c e d

a t i m i d ldquo Y e

a h

s u r e rdquo I s t

i l l c o u l d

n rsquo t b e l i e

v e t h a t

m y b r o t h e

r h a d i n v

i t e d m e t o

p l a y a g a m e w i t h

t h e ldquo b i g k i

d s rdquo

A f t e r a l l

I rsquo d b e e n t o l d f o r t h

r e e

y e a r s t h a

t I w a s s t i l l

t o o y o u

n g

t o p l a y m o r e d i f fi

c u l t b o a

r d

g a m e s w i t h m y b r o

t h e r a n d

h i s f r i e n d s

A N D B R O

T H

E R S

I

felt the hot tears of anger slowly slide

down my face I wiped them away with

my hand but I could still feel the

slightly salty taste on my lips assobs of anguish began to pour out

I just wanted to hang out with my

brother Why couldnrsquot he be my

friend too

J u s t a f e w

h o u r s

b e f o

r e I h a d

s t a r e d a t

m y o

l d e r b

r o t h

e r S t e v e

i n c o

m p

l e t e s u r p

r i s e

w a i t i n

g f o r h

i m t o

t e

l l

m e t h

a t h e w

a s o n

l y

j o k i n g ldquo W

e l l d o y o

u

w a n

t t o p

l a y rdquo S t e v e

a s k e d i m p

a

t i e n t l y

I w

e n t i n t o t h e

r o o m w h

e r e t h e

o l d e r b o y s

w e r e

s e t t i n g u p

t h e b o a r d

g a m e A s t h e

g a m e s t a r t e d

w i t h

e v e r y o n e s t r a t e g i c a l l y

p l a c i n g

t h e i r g a m

e

p i e c e s

I f e l t l i k e

I w

a s d r e a

m i n g F o r

t h e fi r s t t i m

e

I f e l t e q u a l t o

m y b r o t h e r mdash

n o t l i k e I

w a s j u s t h i s

t a g a l o n g

T h e d r e a m

e n d e d q u i c k

l y h o w e v e r

T h e

g a m e w

a s t o u g h

a n d m y i n

e x p e r i e n c e

a n d l a c k

o f k n o w l e d g e

b e c

a m e

p a i n f u l l y o b v i o u s

a s t h e o t

h e r

p l a y e r s q u i c k l y

a n d

s o u n d l y d e f e a t e d

m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2852

26 N e w E r a

Le983137r983150i983150983143 the i983150s 983137983150d outs of d983137ti983150983143 c983137983150 be h983137rd Let this course tur983150 you

i983150to 983137 d983137ti983150983143 983152ro

By Matthew ORichardson

Served as Second

Counselor in theSunday SchoolGeneral Presidencyfrom 2009 to 2014

hile speaking to youth about how to prepare for a celestial marriage

President Thomas S Monson emphasized that ldquoproper dating is a part

of preparation for marriagerdquo 1 Have you thought much about happy

relationships Elder Russell M Nelson of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said a ldquocelestial marriage brings greater possibilities for happiness than

does any other relationshiprdquo2

When I was serving as bishop in a young single adult ward I worried about those

who approached dating with very little purpose understanding or direction This

caused me to wonder if my own children would be any different when their time came

My wife and I decided to help our children prepare for ldquoproper datingrdquo and happy rela-tionships by creating the Richardson Dating Academy or RDA as our children call it

It wasnrsquot long after we started the RDA that friends of our children wanted to partici-

pate and even become RDA graduates So how about you Are you ready to become a

dating academy graduate yourself Class is in session

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 27

Lesso983150 1 ur983152oses 983137983150d St983137983150d983137rds of D983137ti983150983143

Lesso983150 2 W983137tch 983137983150d Le983137r983150

Homework

As you know ldquodatingrdquo means different things to differ-

ent people Your first assignment is to figure out just what

a ldquodaterdquo is according to Church standards Can you explain

the purposes of dating and the specific dating standards and

guidelines set by the Church Or do you know when itrsquosmost appropriate to be involved in dating and steady dating

(having a boyfriend or girlfriend)

You can find answers to these questions in the ldquoDatingrdquo

section of For the Strength of Youth The First Presidency

reminds us why knowing and understanding these stan-

dards are so important They promise ldquoThe standards in this

Elder Jeffrey R Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles once explained that most athletic contests have ldquolines

drawn on the floor or the field within which every participant

must stay in order to competerdquo3 Success depends on how

well a competitor knows and stays within the set boundaries

Likewise itrsquos important to know the ldquodating linesrdquo or the pur-

poses and standards of dating as taught by Church leaders

One of the most com-

mon ways people learn

is by watching others

Dating is no different

In the dating academy

we spend time observ-

ing others in dating

situations In our family

we learned many point-ersmdashsome to do others

to avoidmdashby watching

dates in progress at

restaurants and other

settings Yes we went to

certain places with the

sole purpose to observe

dates for ldquoclassrdquo

booklet will help you with the important choices you are

making now and will yet make in the futurerdquo4

Now that you have a solid foundation of the stan-

dards and purposes of dating (you did do your home-

work and read that section didnrsquot you) itrsquos time to move

on to lesson 2

Tips

Here are some suggestions that will help you learn

as you observe

bull Watch but donrsquot be creepy This is about learning from

others but not stalking staring or even judging Look for

things you like and things you would like to avoid

bull Go to a variety of places and settings to observe others

Not every date is the same nor should it be Watch how thesetting affects the experience

bull Watch how people interact with each other Can you tell

who is with whom Are they paying attention to each

other In what ways Are they talking with each other Do

they look like they enjoy being with each other How can

you tell if they are having fun

bull Talk with a parent leader or good friends and share what

you noticed and what you learned

Homework

The next time you go

out to eat attend a movie

or go to almost any activ-

ity make an effort to look

around and see how other

people are interacting It

may surprise you to see

how much dating is actu-ally going on Take the

time to learn from those

around you by paying

attention to whatrsquos work-

ing and what isnrsquot

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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28 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 3 l983137983150983150i983150983143 983137 D983137te

Tips

bull Start planning early

bull Donrsquot be afraid to bounce ideas off your friendsparents and others They can provide excellent

suggestions that you havenrsquot even thought about

bull Make sure you let your budget amount of time

available the reasons for dating and Church stan-

dards guide your planning

bull Think of what you hope will happen during the

date from beginning to end This helps you realize

what needs to be done to make the date a success

bull Pay attention to details Call ahead for event times

prices menus and what the proper dress is for

the occasion

bull Plan for emergencies For example what will you

do if you donrsquot have enough money or have car

trouble What if your date gets sick

Homework

Rather than leaving everything to chance dating acad-

emy grads understand what needs to happen and theyplan accordingly

Your homework assignment even if yoursquore years away

from dating is to practice planning an event You can

brainstorm with friends really fun ideas for a date Then

work together to think of what planning is required to

make those ideas actually happen Or you can ask your

parents to let you plan the next family outing

You might choose a place to eat or what to do Plan all

the details (event times travel time cost backup plans)

and then put your plan into action You could evencome up with a dating plan complete with backup ideas

if something goes wrong and share it in family home

evening while talking together around the dinner table

or with friends You may find that properly planning an

activity is almost as much fun as the actual date

The quality of experience yoursquoll have with others is

often determined by what happens before a date begins

Showing up on your datersquos doorstep with no plan is a

recipe for an awkward experience Nobody likes playing

the ldquoWhat do you want to dordquo game

Yoursquore better than that With a little practice you can

become a date-planning champion And young women

no fair skipping this section While most of the time young

men plan and ask for dates yoursquoll still want to have these

skills down for when itrsquos your turn

Group Date IdeasNeed ideas Check out ldsorggoideasNE8 Some

of the youth activities there could be adapted for dates

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 3152

Homework

In the Richardson Dating Academy all of our

children practiced dating invitations For example

our children might call an aunt older sibling or other

family member to practice inviting someone on a

date Or our son or daughter would receive an invita-

tion from a family member and practice responding

They learned how to deal with rejection acceptance

or even a disinterested response or two

Now itrsquos your turn Working with your parents ask

them to line up somebody in your family you can call

and practice inviting on a date Make sure you do this

more than once

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 29

You know your dating standards front and back

yoursquove watched others in dating situations and

yoursquove come up with a solid date plan

Congratulations Now you still need to invite

someone Or you need to know how to respond

when you are invited So whatrsquos the best way A

phone call Ask in person Here are some different

points to consider

Lesso983150 4 I983150viti983150983143 Others 983137983150d Bei983150983143 I983150vited

Tips

bull Be ready to give details when you invite

someone on a date Talk about what you have

planned start and end times whorsquos participat-ing and how they should dress (casual dressy

etc) Your excellent planning from academy

lesson 3 makes this part of the academy easy

bull Therersquos a time to talk by phone and a time to

ask face-to-face The more important the event

is the more personal the invitation should be

Donrsquot be afraid to skip technology and actually

talk with someone

bull Some events may require you to speak with

your datersquos parents first This shows respectand courtesy

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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30 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 5 O983150 the D983137te

It would be impossible for any dating academy to cover

every little thing to consider or plan for in dating So much

depends on good judgment communication with your par-

ents and listening to the Spirit

Still here are a few key points you might want to brush

up on before putting your date plan into action

Tips

bull Develop a ldquoyou firstrdquo attitude This means you always

think of your date first Is he or she having fun Is he or

she comfortable

bull Make sure you dress appropriately for the occasion

The way you dress usually communicates how you feelabout others and about the event Know the difference

between casual (but never sloppy) semiformal and

formal and when it would be appropriate to dress in

those ways

bull Show common courtesy by opening doors saying

thank you talking less about yourself and more about

your date and extending sincere compliments

bull Learn how to navigate restaurants Know how to make

a reservation get a table calculate a service tip and

pay the bill

Homework

Once again the best way to learn any good skill is by practic-

ing it Our youth enjoyed role-playing different situations

to think about how to act most appropriately We

also loved going out to eat as part of the dating acad-

emy experience Our children learned how to act in

a restaurant order a meal calculate the tip and paythe bill by actually doing it when they were with us

Look for opportunities to practice skills you should use on a

date For example the next time you and your family go some-

where ask your parents to let you purchase the tickets order

the meal or calculate the tip Treat your family or friends with

the same respect and courtesy that you should show others on a

date Open doors for your family be the first to say ldquothank yourdquo

and pay attention so you are part of the conversation

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 31

Lesso983150 6 The Doorste983152

NOTES

1 Thomas S Monson ldquoPreparation BringsBlessingsrdquo Ensign May 2010 64

2 Russell M Nelson ldquoCelestial Marriagerdquo Ensign Nov 2008 93

3 Jeffrey R Holland ldquoWe Are All Enlistedrdquo Ensign Nov 2011 45

4 ldquoMessage to the Youth from The First Presi-dencyrdquo For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

5 John Bytheway ldquoWhat Do Kisses Meanrdquo New Era Oct 2004 38ndash41

Last but not least dating

academy graduates know how

to conclude a date on the right

note Nothing sours a great date

more than a bad ending

Herersquos how you can finish a

date with success

Tips

bull Express gratitude Be sincere

and to the point If there was something you especially

liked tell your date what

it was

bull Therersquos no reason for drag-

ging things on at this point

Yoursquove already spent plenty

of time together Avoid the

ldquodoorstep shufflerdquo When

people arenrsquot sure what to

say they tend to shuffle backand forth or move their feet

in place If you find yourself

ldquoshufflingrdquo in place itrsquos a

pretty good signal that you

need to say good-bye

bull Know and follow the

Churchrsquos counsel on kissing

and physical intimacy (You

might also want to read John

Bythewayrsquos article ldquoWhat Do

Kisses Meanrdquo5 at ldsorggo

kissesNE8)

Homework

Yes herersquos another opportunity for practicing Our family has spent several family

home evenings role-playing doorstep good-byes Itrsquos been both helpful and fun to

watch an older sibling coach the younger sibling with dorsquos and donrsquots

Most memorable was an older sister showing how she could turn a hug into a

handshake with the grace of a princess and the speed of a ninja You too can get

together with family members and role-play different scenarios that might happen on

a doorstep We guarantee itrsquoll be an academy night yoursquoll all remember

Gr983137du983137tio983150

If yoursquove studied all the

material worked on the tips done

the homework and talked through

the lessons with your parents and

family you too can become a

dating academy graduate

As you continue strengthening

these important skills yoursquoll find

support strength and power that

will bless your relationships both

now and in the future You will be

better prepared for happiness NE

Do Try This at HomeInterested in having a dating academy at

home Let your parents know therersquos an RDAarticle for them in this monthrsquos Ensign or atldsorggoRDA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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32 N e w E r a

S U N DA Y L E S S

O N S

This Monthrsquos Topic

Ma r r iage a nd

Fa m i l y

MARRIAGE IS WORTH ITldquoIt is so rewarding to bemarried Marriage is wonder-ful In time you begin to thinkalike and have the same ideasand impressions You havetimes when you are extremelyhappy times of testing andtimes of trial but the Lordguides you through all ofthose growth experiencestogetherrdquo

Elder Richard G Scott of the

Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo

Ensign May 2011 96

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 33

We love being marr ied and he

rersquos why

By Ben and Rachel Nielsen

Letrsquos face it girls (and boys) itrsquos nice to know that someone loves you

And when yoursquore married you have chances to share and receive love every

day When I was talking to my parents about the possibility of marrying

Ben my dad said ldquoWhomever you choose to marry I want him to fre-

quently and sincerely express his love for you like Elder Richard G Scott did

for his wiferdquo3 I listened to Dad

I decided to marry Ben and he has always made an effort to express

his love to me in small and big ways During my senior year of college I

worked for months to prepare apply and interview for a prestigious intern-ship And when I finally heard that I got the job I came home and saw a

vase full of flowers from my husband He knew how hard I had worked and

how much the internship meant to me At other times hersquoll hide my favorite

drink and a love note in the fridge before he heads out for a weekend Scout

camp And every day hersquoll do the dishes and make me laugh Ben is great at

expressing his love for me and that brings both of us great joy

During my mission in Brazil I grew to love soccer One thing that I lovemost about this sport is having teammates and learning how to work together

with my team Rachel is a fantastic teammate She helps me achieve my

goals joins me in making important decisions and is there for me when I

have trouble

When we were sealed in the temple we promised to ldquohelp one another as

equal partnersrdquo2 Rachel and I strive to support each other in everything we

do and itrsquos great to know that I always have a reliable teammate

After our first date we both

knew we wanted to go

on a second date Ben

wanted to go on

another date because Rachel was

friendly and fun to talk to Rachel

wanted to go on another date

because Ben was a gentleman

and was still smiling after all of

his well-laid plans fell through

After the second date plus manymore dates and prayers after

that we fell in love and decided

to get married in the Sacramento

California Temple

The wedding day was abso-

lutely perfect and we have loved

being married ever since The

world may see marriage differ-

ently but we know that ldquono other

relationship of any kind canbring as much joy generate as

much good or produce as much

personal refinementrdquo1 Marriage

is awesome and herersquos why

FROM BEN A T e a m m a t e

FROM RACHEL

E x p r e s s i o n s o f L o v e

WHY MARRIAGE IS

A w e s o m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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34 N e w E r a

JOIN THE CONVERSATION

Things to Ponder for Sunday

bull What qualities and attitudes make for the strongest

and happiest marriages and families

bull What are you doing now that will help your future

marriage and family stay strong and happy

Things You Might Do

bull Share with some friends your goal of marrying and

having a family and tell them why

bull In church share why you are looking forward

to marriage and family and how you are pre-

paring for them

serving in the Church and inviting others to come unto

Christ As we work together to build the kingdom of God

we grow closer our love deepens and life is more fulfilling

Dating Rachel is so much fun In fact we make surethat we still frequently go on dates even as a married

couple After we first met we found that we enjoy many

of the same activities walking through parks attending

plays watching sporting events eating new and different

food listening to music and so much more I loved doing

these things before I met Rachel but theyrsquore even more

fun now that we get to share them together When yoursquore

married you have someone to enjoy life withmdashand that

makes life awesome

Before I met Ben I was nearing the age of missionary

service and had seriously considered serving a full-time

mission But then Ben entered my life and I knew that

Heavenly Father had a different plan for me

When Ben and I got engaged relatives who knew

about my thoughts to serve a mission asked me about my

choice and I would tell them ldquoI decided that I wanted topick my own missionary companionmdashand stay with him

for eternityrdquo

When yoursquore married you and your spouse have the

chance to participate in the work of salvation together

Ben and I have found great joy in building a Christ-

centered home studying and living the gospel together

Despite what the world may say marriage is awesome

and is worth making a priority When yoursquore married you

have a teammate you give and receive love you enjoy life

more fully and you have someone to build the kingdom

of God with All of that brings us great joy and because

we were sealed in the temple we can have this joy forever

If we keep our covenants we will be together for eternityand receive the crowning blessings of the priesthood We

ldquohave found in marriage the richest fulfillment of human

existencerdquo 4 NE

Ben and Rachel Nielsen live in Utah USA

NOTES

1 L Whitney Clayton ldquoMarriage Watch and Learnrdquo Ensign May 2013 83 2 ldquoThe Family A Proclamation to the Worldrdquo Ensign Nov 2010 129 3 See Richard G Scott ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo Ensign May

2011 96 4 James E Faust ldquoEnriching Your Marriagerdquo Ensign Apr 2007 6

FROM BEN M o r e E n jo y m e n t

FROM RACHEL A n E t e r n a l M is s i o n a r y C o m p a n io n

TAKE IT FROM US

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Your family can help unite the family of GodYou can all share the gospel in natural and pleasant ways

P H O T O I L L U S T R A T I O N B Y D A V I D S T O K E R

M O R M O N A D

(See M Russell Ballard ldquoPut Your Trust in the Lordrdquo Ensign Nov 2013 43)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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36 N e w E r a

By Alex Larsen

I always knew I wanted to be a mother but when I was grow-

ing up it wasnrsquot always on my mind When my fianceacute and I

were engaged one day I was talking with one of my college

professorsmdasha woman I greatly admiredmdashabout my engage-

ment She said something that brought my life choices into sharp

focus ldquoYou are wasting your talentrdquo she told me as she shook

her head She went on to say that someone as smart as I was

should not get married young She assumed I would have chil-

dren in my future and would be ldquothrowing awayrdquo my education

and chances of a stellar career on my future motherhood I could

tell by the way she looked at me that she thought I was making

a terrible and naiumlve mistake

Itrsquos been several years since that conversation and my hus-

band and I have two little girls Kate is three years old and is

my little sweetheart She moves through life at a leisurely pace

savoring all of the little details she notices Annabel is one yearold with bright blue eyes and a head of curls Shersquos exuberant

and determined Though I didnrsquot change my mind because of

what my professor said our discussion has stayed with me In

one way my professorrsquos predictions were correct I do not have

a prestigious working career But my professor got the most

important point wrong because I have wasted nothing

g i v i n

g u p e v e r y

t hi n g

but wh a t

I

g a i n ed

w as w o r t h so much m o r e

T h e wor l d t o l d me

I w ould

b e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 37

their spirits growing and developing I remember

the first time Kate pointed to a picture of the Savior and

said ldquoJesusrdquo I knew then that what I was doing was eter-

nally significant in the lives of my children

The world often tells us that lifersquos rewards come in

the form of status money or grand accomplishments

but I know therersquos great satisfaction even in the small

acts of changing diapers or wiping sticky fingers Every

little thing I do as a mother is part of helping to build the

kingdom of God by nurturing His children I always knew

I wanted children but it was not until I held my first baby

in my arms that I began to realize how much my heart

was capable of loving

The love I have for my daughters has helped me bet-

ter understand how much my Heavenly Father loves all

of His children When speaking of little children Jesustaught that ldquoof such is the kingdom of heavenrdquo (Matthew

1914) More than anything motherhood has helped me

to grow as a daughter of God because now I know what

a daughter of God looks like from the eyes of a parent

The world makes us think that a woman loses herself in

motherhoodmdashshe loses her body her free time and her

career But I have found myself in motherhood I feel

more beautiful and more valuable than ever before NE

Alex Larsen lives in California USA

I love the opportunity to stay home and care for my

young children because these are the most formative

years of their lives I have the opportunity to create a rich

home environment for my girls by reading and discussing

things with them as part of our everyday life Kate will

often astound me by remembering and commenting on

something wersquod read in a book several weeks before and

Annabel learns a new skill almost every day But as fun

and important as it is to watch them learn new

information and skills I feel the

most satisfied when I see

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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38 N e w E r a

One o f t h e g r e a t e s t ad v enture s o f y o u r l i f e w i l l b e y our rol e a n d c a l l i n g a s a f a t her

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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ROcksROcksROcks

NOTE

1 See Thomas S Monson ldquoWelcome to Conferencerdquo Ensign Nov 2012 4ndash5

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 39

DA D D A DD AD

By Chris Deaver

W

hen I was younger I loved spending time

with my dad He always knew the bestgames to play the best stories to tell at night

and the most interesting sports to try It was

like he was born to be a great dad

Fast-forward my life to when I married my sweetheart

Julia and then even further to the moment that our first

child Daniel was born I was filled with a rush of emo-

tions I was happy shocked amazed and a little scared

I felt totally inadequate to be a father and to have the

responsibility of teaching and being an example to my son

But I quickly realized that Irsquod been preparing all my life tobe a dad When I held my son in my arms for the first time

and looked down into his face I felt the Spirit touch my

heart and I realized that I was ready to try to be a great

dad just like my own dad was to me

When Daniel was very young he already had a great

sense of humor He learned to tell hilarious jokes that

would make my wife and me laugh He also often said

things that inspired us Shortly after hearing President

Thomas S Monson announce the change in age require-

ments for young men and young women preparingto serve missions1 we were driving in the car Daniel

announced that he would start preparing himself right

then at age six so he would have 12 years of preparation

Then he said with a smile ldquoDad can I change the song

from lsquoI Hope They Call Me on a Missionrsquo to lsquoI AM Going on

a Missionrsquordquo It was awesome

WHYbeing a

Three years after Daniel was born he was followed by his

brother Austin For me as a dad itrsquos been great to watch bothboys become best friends And Austin has been just as fun

as Daniel in his own way He enjoys building and destroying

block towers and one of his favorite activities is to fearlessly

wrestle me as if I stand no chance against his four-year-old

powers Of course I give in and let him winmdashso I guess I

reinforce his belief But itrsquos so much fun I know hersquoll be a

great wrestler but what I want most is for him to wrestle

ldquoagainst the rulers of the darkness of this worldrdquo and ldquoagainst

spiritual wickednessrdquo like it says in the scriptures (Ephesians

612) And I hope Irsquom helping to prepare him to do that We just recently had our third child a baby girl named

Faith During the delivery my wife was having some com-

plications and we were scared for our baby I gave Julia

a blessing Then she asked me to sing to her The Spirit

brought peace to both of us Soon baby Faith came safely

into the world It was a miracle and she definitely lived up

to her name Faithrsquos beautiful smile brightens my life I canrsquot

express in words how much she means to me

For any young man still wondering let me tell you You

were born to be a great dad The world may not agree butfatherhood is the best Someday yoursquoll find that your kids

inspire you too and that being a dad is the greatest adven-

ture of your life Yes itrsquos a duty and something you need to

take seriously but being a dad is unlike anything else NE

Chris Deaver lives in Florida USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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40 N e w E r a

We always seem to be encouraged to read more

because well everyone knows that reading is a

good thing But not all books are worth reading and just

because sexual material is written about rather than pho-

tographed or video recorded doesnrsquot mean that itrsquos less

morally hazardous Making a common display of a sacred

intimacy thatrsquos intended to only be part of a marriage rela-

tionship is wrongmdashwhether in words or imagesIf something yoursquore reading contains explicit sexual

descriptions that imprint themselves on your mind and

arouse sexual feelings in the same way that looking at

pornographic images would then guess what Itrsquos pornog-

raphy Remember the counsel in For the Strength of Youth

ldquoChoose wisely when using media because whatever you

read listen to or look at has an effect on you Select only

media that uplifts yourdquo ([2011] 11) NE

T O T H E P O I N T

President Boyd K

Packer President of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoEach

of us must come to ourown personal testimony

of the Lord Jesus Christ

We then share that testi-

mony with our family and

othersrdquo1 It can sometimes

be easy to question the

depth of your testimony

I know looking at pornographic

pictures is wrong but whatabout reading books with

ldquoromanticrdquo scenes

If I donrsquot have a burning

desire to share thegospel does that mean I

donrsquot have a testimony

when you compare your-

self to people like Brigham

Young who once said ldquoI

wanted to thunder and

roar out the gospel to thenations It burned in my

bones like fire pent uprdquo2

So what if you donrsquot feel

fire in your bones

Hopefully your lack of

desire doesnrsquot come from

a lack of concern for your

fellowmen As your faith in

Jesus Christ grows so does

your love of all people a

love that is a mark of the

true followers of Christ (see

Moroni 748 John 1335)

Itrsquos likely however

that your hesitancy sim-

ply comes from fear and

anxiety about speaking toothers For many people

such feelings can be over-

whelming Even prophets

have had doubts about their

ability to speak to people

(see Exodus 410 Moses

631) They of course

had no reason to question

their testimoniesmdashand

neither should you if you

are studying the scriptures

pondering praying fasting

repenting and doing all the

other things that help bring

the Spirit into your life

If you feel you just

need a little extra cour-age to share the gos-

pel visit ldsorggo

shareNE8 for ideas NE

NOTES

1 Boyd K Packer ldquoThe Witnessrdquo Ensign May 2014 96

2 Teachings of Presidents ofthe Church Brigham Young (1997) viii

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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C O M E F O L L O W M E

Family

983152983137tter983150 of

President Boyd K PackerPresident of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

April 2014 general conference

The ultimate end

of all activity in

the Church is that

a man and his wife

and their childrencan be happy

at home

The FamilyYoursquoll be studying about the family in your Sunday classes

this month As you study and discuss family you may pon-der these questions Why do Church leaders emphasize

family so much What is the place of family in Heavenly

Fatherrsquos plan How does family help make us happy

To find some answers to these questions see the

family proclamation near the back of your Personal

Progress or Duty to God booklet or online at ldsorg

gofamilyNE8 Yoursquoll also find teachings about

family relationships in general conference talks at

conferenceldsorg

Give yourself an easy reminder to prepare for your

Sunday lessons on the family Just place these cards

in your scriptures locker or bedroom You can also

download or share them online at ldsorggocardsNE8 B A C K G R O U N D T E X T U R E

B Y I S T O C K P H O T O T H I N K S T O C K

We 983150eed We 983150eed

MOR E

983155tre983150983143the983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

RELATIONSHIPS

983153u983137lity 983153u983137lity TIME amp EFFORT INTO

TO PUT

983155re983150983143te983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4452

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4552

T H E E X T R A S M I L E

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 43

I dont like to pack so I rsquo m just wearing all my stuff

JON CLARK

W h a t m a k e s y o

u t h i n k

D a d rsquo s t a l k i n g t o

t h e

p r o p h e t

B ecaus e h e s ai d h e w as on a conf er ence cal l

RYAN STOKER

F r o m n o w o n j u s t t a k e

a p i c t u r e o f t h e t o o t h a n

d

u p l o a d i t t o m y F a c e b o o k

p a g e

a n d t h e n I rsquo l l s e n d y o u t h e

m o n e y t h r o u g h P a y P a l

RANDY GLASBERGEN

[Gasp] He he made h is bed this morning

And I didnrsquo t even ask

VAL CHADWICK BAGLEY

Who says there arenrsquo t modern m iracles

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4652

44 N e w E r a

ldquoMymom works

Since you donrsquot see your mom often make sure that

the time you do have together is used well You

could talk to your mom about how to do this She

wants a good relationship with you too and will

help you work on it Try asking her what she would

appreciate coming home to a clean house doing an activity

together just talking with you As you regularly do activities your mom appreciates your relationship will improve

Of course you could plan some fun activities to do together

but any meaningful time togethermdashsuch as washing the dishes

or reading the scripturesmdashcan be a great way to build your

relationship

Also plan time for communication Understanding one

another is a key ingredient in good relationships One thing

to discuss is how your momrsquos work schedule will affect your

relationship with her You can avoid misunderstandings if you

talk about your expectations as well as your momrsquosPrayer will help Families are important to Heavenly Father

so He can inspire you to know how to improve your relation-

ship with your mom Donrsquot ignore a prompting to do something

that seems small (see Alma 376) A hug and a smile for exam-

ple can make a big difference NE

Write a Note

Even if you have very

little time together you

can still express your

love to your mother

Write her thoughtful secret notes As

she reads them at work she will think

of you Do as much as you can for

her Think about her more often and

pray for her Ask the Lord to inspire

you and prompt you regarding how

you can improve your relationship Irinka E 20 Odessa Ukraine

Seek to Understand Her

Try to understand her situation

because she works for your benefit

You can begin by helping with things

at home like cleaning the house

helping your siblings and cooking

You also can share scriptures with

your mom pray together and doactivities that you like to do together

Morony M 18 Chihuahua Mexico

Have a Special Sunday

On some Sundays we

have a special lunch

or dinner with a new

dessert we talk and at

the end we sing hymns This brings

us together and helps us be betterfriends

Rebeca N 12 Satildeo Paulo Brazil

Try an Experiment

We arrange time to be together hav-

ing family home evening playing

games going to the beach having

lunch together All of this helps to

Q U E S T I O N S amp A N S W E R S

all day Howcan I improve our

relationshiprdquo

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4752

keep the flame of a good relationship

alive When we disagree we avoid

criticizing I know that sometimes I

ask not to do housework but this

contributes to disharmony in the

home Since I began this experiment

mdashcomplaining less lowering my

voice helping more with housework

and talking more with my mothermdash

a sweet spirit has developed in our

home and we cooperate more

Glenda C 18 Bahia Brazil

Help at Home

Do some extra chores

around the house Your

mom has been work-

ing all day If she has

less work to do when she gets home

shersquoll probably be happier and have

more time to talk and do things with

you While you are talking you canask about her day at work It will

show her that you care and it will

open doors for other topics of discus-

sion allowing you to grow closer

Heather B 18 Oregon USA

Find Something You BothLike to Do

My mumrsquos relationship with me

skyrocketed when I said ldquoI want tospend more time with you but I donrsquot

know what to do or when to do itrdquo

Playing board games happens to be

our favorite pastime So we set aside

a time together to play laugh and

make memories When you are open

with your parents eventually they

become your best companions You

UPCOMING QUESTION

ldquoMy parents just

got divorced Irsquom angry that they

have broken up our

family How doI forgive themrdquo

Send your answer and photo by

September 15 2014

Go to neweraldsorg click ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo enter your LDS Accountand then select ldquoNew Erardquo

Responses may be edited for length

or clarity

Responses are intended for help and per-

spective not as official pronouncements ofChurch doctrine

will be able to talk to them about

anything and you will be sure of an

honest answer That is the sign of a

mature relationship

Ephraim S 15 New South Wales Australia

Read Scriptures Together

Both of you could set a goal to read

together every day even just five

minutes from the Book of Mormon

or any other Church book It will

strengthen your relationship andnourish you with the word of God

so you can be ready to face each day

Remember also to pray to God and

ask for His help I know He hears you

and loves you

Laura M 19 Coacuterdoba Argentina

LEARN FROM

YOUR MOTHER

ldquoPlease look to yourfaithful mothers fora pattern to followModel yourselves

after them not after celebritieswhose standards are not the Lordrsquosstandards and whose values maynot reflect an eternal perspectiveLook to your mother Learn fromher strengths her courage andher faithfulness Listen to her She

may not be a whiz at texting shemay not even have a Facebookpage But when it comes to mat-ters of the heart and the thingsof the Lord she has a wealth ofknowledgerdquo

Elder M Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles ldquoMothers and Daughtersrdquo

Ensign May 2010 19

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46 N e w E r a

MISERABLE TOTHE END OFTHE STREET

For one family home evening my

dad wanted to take advantage

of a pause in the rainy weather

to go on a walk around the neighbor-

hood I grumbled and complained

that it was too wet and muddy to

go walking I used the excuse that

I had a ballet recital that week and

didnrsquot want to sprain an ankle but

my dad didnrsquot buy it He insisted thatit was going to be the activity for the

evening I murmured a bit more about

the unfairness and my recital but we

left on the walk anyway

As I glumly stomped outside for

the walk with my family I was deter-

mined not to smile or be happy I

succeeded in feeling miserable until

I N S T A N T M E S S A G E S

we reached the end of the street Then

we turned the corner and I saw in full

force naturersquos beauty and wonder

Before me was a gorgeous sunset

and opposite it was a rainbow arching

above our neighborhood rooftops

I immediately forgot all about being

miserable and looked around in awe

On the way home I said a prayer of

gratitude thanking God for the beautyof His creations I later thanked my

dad for choosing the activity and for

allowing us to enjoy nature for that

family home evening

Jennie H North Carolina USA

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 47

STANDARDS AND FRIENDS

Since Irsquove been in school Irsquove had friends who havenrsquot understood the

moral standards of our religion At first it was difficult but over time

my friends have become used to the idea of my being morally clean I

made a goal in my life to be clean and pure and itrsquos worked out well both

for me and for those who used to criticize me Over time respect peace and

joy have become a part of our loving circle of friends

Vitoacuteria M Brazil

A DIFFICULT DECISION

FORGIVINGMY FRIENDS

As the only member of the

Church in my peer group

Irsquove experienced some

instances when my friends have

offended me Sometimes they judge

and criticize my religion I feel so

alone yet Irsquom thankful I know the

standards of the Church

If my friends offend me I try to

humble myself and avoid contention

because I know contention is evil When they start discussing some mat-

ters about the Church I just testify of

my belief in the gospel

I always forgive my friends with or

without their apology Forgiving is not

just about saying ldquoApology acceptedrdquo

or ldquoItrsquos OKrdquo because forgiveness has

a deep meaning Jesus Christ atoned

for our sins so that Heavenly Father

can forgive usEven though my friends donrsquot

understand my faith now I know that

I can be Godrsquos instrument to teach

them the gospel I am helping them

and at the same time I am helping

myself to grow spiritually and prepare

to serve a mission

Joshua V Philippines

As volleyball tryouts approached for my senior year in high

school I couldnrsquot believe the thought that was running through

my head I wasnrsquot supposed to play volleyball Irsquod played vol-

leyball since seventh grademdashwhy should this year be any different

Not seeing the sense in quitting I ignored the feeling and continued

to participate in summer volleyball events After a while the feeling

came back so I decided that if I really wasnrsquot supposed to be on the

team my coach would just cut me during tryouts

Then one night at the gym I couldnrsquot focus on the game at all I felt

terrible and restless inside I came home frustrated with my team and

with myself I sat next to my mom and sister and cried I told them

how confused I was and my mom told me to pray and ask Heavenly

Father what He wanted me to do I went up to my room and began to

pray I told Heavenly Father how I felt then I asked Him to help mefeel peace if I was not supposed to continue playing volleyball I felt

His peace in my heart and knew that I needed to quit

Irsquom still not sure all the reasons why that was the right

decision but I know that itrsquos what the Lord

wanted me to do and thatrsquos a good

enough reason for me

The next morning I told my

coach and my teammates that

I wasnrsquot going to be playing

Even though it was incrediblyhard I knew I was doing

the right thing

Klaire B Arizona USA

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5152

you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 5

Live Faithfully and Remain Worthy

The scripture ldquolearn wisdom in thy youth yea learn in thy

youth to keep the commandments of Godrdquo (Alma 3735) is

an invitation attended by the promise of peace and protec-

tion from the adversary (See also 1 Timothy 412)

Do not expect that all will go smoothly throughout

your life Even for those who are living as they should

it sometimes will be just the opposite Meet each of lifersquos

challenges with optimism and surety and you will have the

peace and faith to sustain you now and in the future

For those who do not yet have all of the blessings youfeel you want and need to have I firmly believe that no

experience or opportunity essential for redemption and

salvation will be denied you who live faithfully Remain

worthy be hopeful patient and prayerful Things have

a way of working out The gift of the Holy Ghost will guide

you and direct your actions

I know you as the youth of the Church and I under-

stand that yoursquore not perfect but you are moving along that

road Have courage Know that any person who has a body

has power over one who has not1 Satan is denied a body

so if ever you are confronted with temptations know that

you outrank all those temptations if you will exercise the

agency given to Adam and Eve in the garden and passed

on to this very generation NE From a devotional given at Brigham Young University on November 6 2011

For the full text go to speechesbyuedu

NOTE

1 See Teachings of Presidents of the Church Joseph Smith (2007) 211

I promise that the brilliant morning of forgiveness can come

Find help overcoming pornographyat ldsorggoovercomeNE8

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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6 N e w E r a

By Mindy Raye FriedmanChurch Magazines

When they meet someone they

offer the person a piece of banana

bread When the person accepts he

or she is told that although the bread

is delicious and good for the body

the missionaries have a message that

will be nourishing to the personrsquos soul

The young men and their companions

then invite the person to meet withthe missionaries In this way theyrsquove

been able to get 40 to 50 referrals for

the missionaries in a couple of hours

The young men also fellowship the

members of their own quorums On

Saturdays they meet for a Young Men

983137983150983137983150983137 Be983137d

For these young men sharing a slice of bread has blessed

countless lives including their own

activity and to work on Duty to

God Then they visit the less-active

members of their quorum They

encourage them to attend church

and then invite them to come back

to play sports or participate in

another activity

In this way and many others

these young men are preparing tobe lifelong missionaries Two of

them (at right) share how they feel

strengthened and inspired by their

experiences

Missionaries

If someone offered you a piece

of delicious banana bread how

would you react For the young

men in a ward in Ecuador thatrsquos

one way they start conversations

about the gospel

Every two months they have a

missionary day with open houses in a

different area of their ward They splitinto several teams each made up of

a young man a full-time or recently

returned missionary and an elder or

high priest Some of the groups work

at a tent some go to contact people

in the park and some go door to door

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Ihave been a member of the Church

for five years My parents are not

members but my uncle Jorge is

the Young Men president and he

has been a great support I am also

grateful to my bishop for his con-

stant support and encouragement

I decided to get closer to the

Church after one of the missionary

days they had in the ward It was

one of my first experiences that

motivated me to join the Church As

a deacon teacher and now a priestmy leaders have always supported

and encouraged me to participate

in all of the missionary work activ-

ities I like the open houses where

I have the opportunity to share

with others the blessing of being a

member of Christrsquos Church What

inspires me most are the service

Changed by

the Gospel

Your Missio983150983137ry Ex983152erie983150ce s

As a deacon I learned my

responsibilities thanks to the

support of my parents and lead-

ers and working with the goals

in the Duty to God booklet As a

teacher I learned more by going

to do visits as a home teacher

participating in the open houses

on the missionary days sharing

banana bread attending Mutual

and participating in ward and

stake activities

Now as a priest I get tofocus more on missionary work

Working with the Young Men

president and as an assistant to

the bishop I have learned much

more about my responsibilities as

a priesthood holder

Our leaders constantly invite

us to come with them and the

full-time missionaries so that we

can become familiar with mis-sionary work They also exhort

us to read the scriptures espe-

cially the Book of Mormon All

of these experiences motivate

and prepare me to receive the

higher priesthood and to serve

a full-time mission

Isaac G 17

Learning My

Responsibilities

activities where I have the oppor-

tunity to serve my neighbor as

Jesus taught us to do

A year ago my younger broth-

ers Luis age 15 and Israel age 12

joined the Church Together we

have been working on the projects

in Duty to God and since their

baptisms we have shared wonderful

experiences working together All of

the young men in the ward are very

close and we support each other

I know that baptism is the gateto enter the kingdom of heaven

When we are in the service of

our fellow beings we are in the

service of God (see Mosiah 217)

Missionary work blesses fami-

lies and I know that my life has

changed because of the gospel

Alvaro T 17

How have you shared the gospel through small and simple means

Share your stories by visiting neweraldsorg and clicking ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo or by emailing neweraldschurchorg

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8 N e w E r a

By Thomas E Robinson III

F R O M T H E M I S S I O N F I E L D

One small prompting can

change lives for the better

A M I RAC LE

ATT H E

AI RP O RT

s a new missionary in Japan I

had a hard time understanding

anyone let alone getting to

know them It was difficult

to learn to love people I didnrsquot even

know especially when I couldnrsquot

understand what they were saying

But I made an effort to show mylove for them and I appreciated their

efforts to reach out to me

Each week my companion and I

received a loaf of homemade bread

from a sister in the ward named Sister

Senba She showed her love for the

missionaries by baking homemade

bread and writing small but heartfelt

notes

I was touched that someone caredabout me I felt impressed to show my

gratitude to her in some small way

I wrote her a note expressing how

grateful I was for her and the sacri-

fices she and her family made to help

the missionaries We became friends

and I began to think of her as my

ldquomother away from homerdquo

A

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Months passed Early one

Wednesday morning I received a

call from my mission president

who asked me to transfer down to

Okinawa When I hung up the phone

I was filled with the most bittersweet

feeling I dreaded having to say my

good-byes Each phone call to tell

members of the ward I would be

leaving on the following day made

my heart hurt Saying good-bye to thepeople I had come to love so much

was more difficult than I had imag-

ined it would be

As I finished these calls I noticed

that the only one who had not

answered the phone was Sister Senba

I was sad I would not be able to say

good-bye to a member who had

become so close to my heart

The next morning two other mis-sionaries and I left for the airport

When we arrived at the ticket counter

and tried to buy tickets the work-

ers told us that our cards had been

declined We did not have any money

to pay for the tickets and the flight

was leaving in 10 minutes The three

of us were in a panic We were about

to miss the flight and be stranded at

the airport for the dayBut all of my panic turned to com-

fort when I turned around and saw

Sister Senba walk into the airport

I was shocked that she was there

because she hadnrsquot known what time

our flight was As she scrambled over

to us she smiled and gave us all bread

to bring onto the plane

As we explained to her that we

were going to miss our flight she

became saddened None of us knew

what to do Then Sister Senba began

rummaging through her purse look-

ing for something that could help us

She jumped happily into the air when

she found a small envelope in her

purse in which weeks ago she had

placed yen50000mdashthe exact amount of

money we needed She gave us the

At that moment I felt the Spirit

more strongly than I ever have before

Sister Senbarsquos example taught me how

important it is to follow the prompt-

ings of the Spiritmdashno matter how

small or strange the prompting might

seem Through these promptings we

have the power to change lives for

the better I know it was not a coinci-

dence that she came to the airport It

was a miracle

TRULY THE LORD USES SMALL MEANS TO

BRING ABOUT HIS WORK

money and we were able to get our

tickets in time We thanked her with

every ounce of gratitude our souls

could muster said good-bye and

rushed onto the plane After the plane took off my fellow

missionary turned to me and said

ldquoIsnrsquot she amazing That was

a miraclerdquo

I then realized how truly mirac-

ulous it really was He then said

ldquoWhat does your note sayrdquo I saw he

was reading a note that was with the

bread Sister Senba had given

him As I realized I had onetoo I pulled out the note

and read a small piece of

paper personally addressed

to me which immediately

made my eyes swell with

tears It said ldquoI love you

Please donrsquot forget me I

will never forget yourdquo

Truly the Lord uses small means to

bring about His work How blessed

we are as members of this Church to

have His influence in our lives Let

us all remain worthy to receive thesepromptings and bless the lives of the

children of God NE

Thomas E Robinson III lives in Utah USA

Editorrsquos note Sister Senba was promptly

reimbursed by the mission

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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When I got my first paycheck for my first real job (at a

sandwich shop) I rewarded myself with a shopping

spree I bought some music and a cute outfit After

spending every dollar Irsquod earned I thought about

my purchases

ldquoThere goes two whole weeks of workrdquo I

thought And a sick feeling started to grow inmy stomach

As I thought about all those hours of hard work mak-

ing sandwiches my superficial purchases hardly seemed

worth it I vowed to be more careful with my money

So from then on I saved every penny for college and a pos-

sible mission and never bought anything I wanted ever again

Yeah right

I was still a normal teenager who wanted stylish clothes

good music and fun activities with my friends But coming

from a big family I knew that if I wanted those things I wouldhave to save money to pay for them myself

It might sound impossible but I found ways to be finan-

cially prepared for the future and have fun at the same timemdash

even with a part-time job that didnrsquot pay very much Here are

some tips on how you can increase your ldquomoney smartsrdquo

10 N e w E r a

HOW TO BEMONEY SMART

By Arianne Cope

Y O U W O R K H A R D F O R Y O U R M O N E Y A fewi983149983152le 983152ri983150ci983152les c983137983150 983149983137ke your c983137sh 983143o further

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A BUDGET THAT WORKS

Yoursquove probably been told about budgets

from the day you earned your first nickel or

dime Thatrsquos because it really works A bud-get is a plan that will help you make the best

use of what you earn and save Herersquos one

way you can set up a budget of your own

1 Decide on a time frame for your budget

Most budgets plan for expenses monthly

2 Add up every dollar you plan to make

to figure out your expected income (Or

use last monthrsquos earnings for this monthrsquos

spending so you have an exact amount

available)

3 Calculate how much yoursquoll need to pay

for tithing along with any other offerings

you might want to give

4 Create a list of things you think yoursquoll pur-

chase throughout the month along with

how much theyrsquoll probably cost

5 Separate your needs from your wants

because yoursquoll want to spend your money

on needs first

6 Subtract the total cost of your needs from

your total income

7 Set aside a little money each month for

your wants

8 After paying for tithing and your imme-

diate needs put most of the money thatrsquos

left into savings Look to the future and set

a plan to save for college a mission (par-

ticularly young men) or other big things

Think about how much you need to save

every month to meet the financial goals

you have for those big things in the future

9 Remember that making your budget work

takes solid planning a strong commit-

ment and self-discipline Itrsquos tough but

itrsquos worth it

SHOPPING PRINCIPLES

If yoursquore like most teenagers yoursquore prob-

ably going to want to spend some of your

money at the mall at a store or online So

yoursquoll want to know some basic principles

about shopping before you go

bull Decide what yoursquore planning to buy

before you go shopping Then stick to

your plan and avoid the habit of buying

things on impulse

bull Buy something only if you really love it

Donrsquot let your friends a salesperson or an

advertisement talk you into buying some-

thing yoursquore not going to use often

bull Remember that the word sale doesnrsquot

always mean yoursquore getting a good deal

Look for the best quality at the lowest

price Sometimes that means paying a

little bit more for something that will last a

lot longer

bull Ask yourself if you can live without the

item Remember the old adage ldquoFix it up

wear it out make it do or do withoutrdquo

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 11

T H E B O O K O F M O R M O N

CONCERT

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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SOME FINAL TIPS

Just to finish here are some general

money-related guidelines to keep in mind

bull Keep track of your money and keep it in

a safe place

bull You canrsquot buy happiness but being will-

ing to share usually results in a smile

bull Avoid gambling of any kind

bull Be cautious of things that seem too good

to be truemdashthey usually are

The most important lesson about money

however is to keep in mind that wersquore not

here on earth to get rich or to have a lot of

fancy things Remember these truths from

the Doctrine and Covenants ldquoSeek not for

riches but for wisdom and behold the mys-

teries of God shall be unfolded unto you

and then shall you be made rich Behold he

that hath eternal life is richrdquo (DampC 67) NE

Arianne Cope lives in Utah USA

THE FUN STUFF

Herersquos a little-known fact a half-gallon

of ice cream from the grocery store tastes

almost as good as ice cream from an ice-cream shop Also a fact you can often buy

a half-gallon of ice cream for the same price

yoursquod pay for a single serving at an ice-

cream shop So if you need to save some

money suggest that your friends all split a

half-gallon from the store rather than spend-

ing a lot more at the ice-cream shop

And thatrsquos just one example of simple

money solutions You can be frugal in lots of

ways while still having a great time

bull Watch the newspaper or look online to

find free community or local events

bull If you want to see a movie go to a mati-

nee or a dollar theater for cheaper tickets

bull Plan ahead Make a list of ideas of free

things to do with your friends so you

wonrsquot rely on spending money to enter-

tain yourselves

bull Have fun outdoors without paying much

(if anything) Enjoy a campfire in the

canyon or on the beach or a free Frisbee

game at the parkmdashthey can be just

as much fun as going to a movie or a

concert

12 N e w E r a

FACT YOU CAN OFTEN BUY A HALF-GALLON OF

ICE CREAM FOR THE SAME PRICE YOUrsquoD PAY FOR A

SINGLE SERVING AT AN ICE-CREAM SHOP

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 13

3 Nephi 1815 20ndash21Jesus Christ taught the Nephites the importance of prayer

Editorrsquos note This page is not meant to be a com-

prehensive explanation of the selected seminary

scripture mastery verses only a starting point for

your own study

983148983141983155983156 983161983141 983138983141 983156983141983149983152983156983141983140

This is one of many scriptures

that teach how praying can help

us escape Satanrsquos temptations (see

also DampC 105 3112 and 6139)

Here are some other blessings thescriptures promise when you obey

the command to pray always What

blessings have you received

bull You will be worthy to stand in the

presence of God (see Luke 2136)

bull The Lord will consecrate your

efforts (see 2 Nephi 329)

bull The Spirit will be poured upon

you (see DampC 1938)

bull You will be given strength toendure (see DampC 88126)

bull Things will work out for your

good (see DampC 9024)

983152983154983137983161 983137983148983159983137983161983155

ldquoWe should be alone

with our Heavenly

Father at least two

or three times each

daymdashlsquomorning mid-day and eve-ningrsquo as the scripture indicates (Alma

3421) In addition we are told to

pray always (See 2 Ne 329 DampC

88126) This means that our hearts

should be full drawn out in prayer

unto our Heavenly Father continually

(See Alma 3427)rdquo

President Ezra Taft Benson (1899ndash1994) ldquoPray

Alwaysrdquo Ensign Feb 1990 2

L I N E U P O N L I N E

983159983144983137983156983155983151983141983158983141983154 983161983141 983155983144983137983148983148 983137983155983147

In the scriptures the Lord repeatedly

promises to answer our prayers if we

will but ask What can you learn from

these scriptures about how to ask and

receive answers What other scriptures

can you find that teach about this

bull James 15ndash6

bull 1 Nephi 1511

bull Enos 12ndash15

bull Mormon 921

bull DampC 810

bull DampC 4630ndash32

983159983144983145983139983144 983145983155 983154983145983143983144983156

ldquoHere the Savior

reminds us that faith

no matter how strong

it is cannot produce

a result contrary to the will of him

whose power it is The exercise of

faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is always

subject to the order of heaven to

the goodness and will and wisdom

and timing of the Lord That is why we cannot have true faith in the

Lord without also having complete

trust in the Lordrsquos will and in the

Lordrsquos timingrdquo

Elder Dallin H Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles ldquo lsquoFaith in the Lord Jesus Christrsquo rdquo

Ensign May 1994 100

983137983148983159983137983161983155 983145983150 983149983161 983150983137983149983141

Praying in Christrsquos name means

more than just ending our prayers

in the name of Jesus Christ The

Bible Dictionary teaches ldquoWe pray

in Christrsquos name when our mind isthe mind of Christ and our wishes

the wishes of Christmdashwhen His

words abide in us (John 157) We

then ask for things it is possible for

God to grant Many prayers remain

unanswered because they are not

in Christrsquos name at all they in no

way represent His mind but spring

out of the selfishness of manrsquos

heartrdquo (ldquoPrayerrdquo)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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By ElderJoseacute L Alonso

Of the Seventy

LINKED PRAYERS COUNSELING WITH THE LORD

ldquoThere may be things in our character in our behavior or concerningour spiritual growth about which we need to counsel with HeavenlyFather in morning prayer After expressing appropriate thanks for

blessings received we plead for understanding direction and helpto do the things we cannot do in our own strength alone

ldquoAt the end of our day we kneel again and report back to our Father We reviewthe events of the day and express heartfelt thanks for the blessings and the helpwe received We repent and with the assistance of the Spirit of the Lord identifyways we can do and become better tomorrow Thus our evening prayer buildsupon and is a continuation of our morning prayer And our evening prayer also is apreparation for meaningful morning prayerrdquo

Elder David A Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles ldquoPray Alwaysrdquo Ensign Nov 2008 41ndash42

14 N e w E r a

When I was 15 I went

to live with my father

while I finished high

school He lived and

worked in another city and had joined

the Church I didnrsquot know he was

a member but I saw that he acted

differently He acted with love and

kindness and was interested in myconcerns and needs

The first night I arrived I was

so hungry We sat down for dinner

and I started to eat but my father

said ldquoWait a minute We need to

prayrdquo I said ldquoWe need to what rdquo I

didnrsquot even know what the word

pray meant My father explained

that he was going to thank God our

Heavenly Father for the food we

had received from Him and then

we could eat My father prayed

and in his prayer he mentioned myname and asked for God to bless

me I felt something wonderful That

was the first time I felt the Spirit so

strongly in my life

My father taught me to pray to

Heavenly Father on my own Later

when the missionaries taught me

about Joseph Smithrsquos prayer I imme-

diately felt that it was possible for the

Lord to answer the prayer of a young

man The missionaries asked me to

read the Book of Mormon and to pray

to know if Jesus is the Christ if JosephSmith was a prophet and if the Book

of Mormon is true

That night I read the story in

3 Nephi 11 of when Jesus visits the

Nephites I was in a private place

so I got down on my knees and I

prayed Even though I was only 15 I

had faith that the Lord would answer

my prayer I received an impression

in my mind as clear as anything Ihad ever seen that Jesus is the Christ

Joseph Smith was a prophet and

the Book of Mormon is true I felt

like Joseph Smith after that prayer

I was so happy to truly know that

Heavenly Father answers prayers

from young people

Irsquod Never PRAYED BEFORE

i983150 Th983137t W983137y

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 1752

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 15

WHAT KEPT ME STRONG

D983137ily P983137yer

As a teenager in an area with-

out a lot of Church members

I found that daily prayer was one

of the most important things that

helped me stay spiritually strong

I made sure to pray every day and

developed a pattern that helped

memdashmorning and evening prayers

When I heard

my father prayfor the rst timel felt something

wonderful

MORNING PRAYERS

Every morning I would share with

the Lord

bull My plans for the day

bull What I wanted to do

bull What I thought the Lord

wanted me to do

I would present my plans to

God and then ask for the Lordrsquos

help in accomplishing them

EVENING PRAYERS

Every evening I would

bull Report on how my day went

and if I had accomplished the

things I had set out to do

bull Share things that had been

difficult for me

bull Share things that I had learned

from people or through the

Spirit that dayThe more I prayed the more

I learned to understand and

receive impressions from the

Holy Ghost These impressions

helped me gain more strength

to follow the direction of the

Lord NE

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 1852

16 N e w E r a

With canteen in hand I was prepared for my

second 50-mile hike and campout in the

Uinta Mountains I was about as well pre-

pared as a 14-year-old could be My equip-

ment was all set to go my boots were sturdy and my pack

was full of all the essentials

The day of the hike arrived and our

leaders reminded our group of young men

that the mountains could be very danger-

ous Hikers and campers were often lost

in the rugged hills and on the numerous

trails We were warned not to wander

away from the path Our leadersmdashmy

father includedmdashall seemed concerned

for our safety and were anxious to keep

us from straying off of our chosen pathBeing one of the stronger hikers and

a leader in the group I soon found myself

and three other boys leading the way

Sometimes we waited for our group at the

forks in the trail to make sure we followed

the correct path and would not become lost

We hiked for hours laughing and joking all the way We

were having a great time Suddenly we heard frantic calls

and the sounds of running We knew something must have

gone wrong We wondered if maybe some of the grouphad become lost I was concerned for the friends Irsquod left

behind with the leaders Something bad must have happened

We stopped to listen so we could hear what the distant

voices were yelling We heard our names More specifically

I heard my name being called I recognized my fatherrsquos

voice We called back and heard their heavy footsteps coming

in our direction

Something bad had happened We learned that

four of the boys in our group had strayed from

the correct path and had become lost It was us

We were the ones who were lost My father was

thankful to have finally found us and together we

began the hike back to the correct trail

In my head I retraced my footsteps I couldnrsquot

figure out how Irsquod become lost I felt like I was

still on the original path Irsquod been so sure We

retraced our steps and my father showed us aturn we had missed It was just a small path with

a little hidden sign marking the correct way

We had hiked two miles off the right trail

We were thankful wersquod been found

before dark For the rest of the hike

we stayed close to our leaders and the rest of the

group and were never in danger again

Sometimes our overconfidence as youth

gives us an unrealistic sense of independence

We push on without consulting our parentsor leaders We fail to ask for advice We feel

By Duncan Anderson

Mile Hike

The

We stoppedto listen so we

could hear whatthe distant voices

were yellingWe heard ournames We

called back andheard their heavyfootsteps comingin our direction

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 17

certain wersquore headed in a direction leading to the right

destination We laugh and joke and enjoy the path until itrsquos

too late too dark and wersquore lost

When it comes to choosing the right trails in life our

Heavenly Father has provided tools to guide us and keep us

on the path that leads to Him We have the scriptures prayer

and revelation our parents guidelines like For the Strength

of Youth and our Church leaders to guide us through the

countless options life offers

When we do stray off the path itrsquos often our loving parents

and dedicated leaders who come to the rescue They can

guide us back to the correct way and show us where we

went wrong Through repentance we can correct those

wrongs and start fresh on the right path headed toward the

destination that will give us eternal happiness and a life in the

presence of our Heavenly Father NE

Duncan Anderson lives in Utah USA

CHOOSING RIGHT PATHS

ldquoI plead with you to make a determi-nation right here right now notto deviate from the path which willlead to our goal eternal life with ourFather in Heaven Along that straight

and true path there are other goals missionaryservice temple marriage Church activity scripturestudy prayer temple work There are countless wor-thy goals to reach as we travel through life Neededis our commitment to reach themrdquo

President Thomas S Monson ldquoThe Three Rs of Choicerdquo

Ensign Nov 2010 68

NEED ADVICE

Is there anything yoursquod like advice on Donrsquot be afraid to ask your

parents or Church leaders Remember they are there to help you

no matter what yoursquod like to talk about

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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One of the things we agree

to do as part of the bap-

tismal covenant is ldquoto

stand as witnesses of

God at all times and in all things and in

all places that [we] may be inrdquo (Mosiah

189) And incidentally we renew this

covenant every week when we partake

of the sacramentIn the April 2014 general conference

several speakers reminded us that there

will be times when standing as a witness

of God will mean having to face oppo-

sition criticism and ridicule So what

should you do when yoursquore required

to take the uncomfortable uncool or

unpopular step of defending your beliefs

By David A Edwards

Church Magazines

Be brave and humble firm and gentle

all at the same time With the Lordrsquos

help itrsquos not as hard as it sounds

18 N e w E r a

of Defe983150di983150983143Your Beliefs

Dorsquos 983137983150d

Donrsquots

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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you should rely on the Spiritto guide your defense of your

faith Bear testimony by the

Spirit Thatrsquos the Lordrsquos way

(See also DampC 1005ndash8)

The point here is not that

you should avoid any discus-

sion in which people have dif-

fering points of view Rather it

has to do with your intent as

well as the emotions involved

We should seek understand-

ing and try to persuade withmeekess not just score points

and prove wersquore right and

someone else is wrong A

discussion where people are

getting really worked up and

angry is one you should either

try to soften or simply avoid

Heavenly Father has given

you the gift of the Holy Ghost

and you should take advan-

tage of this gift This doesnrsquot

mean reason and logic canrsquot

be inspired or confirmed by

the Spirit it just means that

Elder W Craig Zwick of

the Seventy has explained

this scripture this way ldquoA lsquosoft

answerrsquo consists of a reasoned

responsemdashdisciplined words

from a humble heart It does

not mean we never speak

directly or that we compro-

mise doctrinal truth Words

that may be firm in infor-

mation can be soft in spiritrdquo

(ldquoWhat Are You Thinkingrdquo

Ensign May 2014 42)

ldquoA SOFT ANSWER TURNETH AWAY

wr983137thBUT

GRIEVOUS WORDS stir u983152 983137983150983143errdquo

(Proverbs 151)

ldquoBeholdI send you forthas sheep in the

midst of wolves be ye therefore wise as serpents

and h983137r983149less as dovesrdquo

(Matthew 1016)

The Savior doesnrsquot want

you to be ignorant or naiumlve

but He also doesnrsquot want you

to attack anyone Knowing

what goes on in the world

doesnrsquot mean we have to

use its tactics

ldquoCONTEND AGAINST

NO CHURCHrdquo (DampC 1820)

There is no need to

criticize other churches

Positive statements of your

beliefs rather than negative

statements about others will

be most effective As the

Prophet Joseph Smith said

ldquoWe donrsquot ask any people

to throw away any good

they have got we only ask

them to come and get morerdquo

(Teachings of Presidents

of the Church Joseph

Smith [2007] 155)

ldquoAND THOUSHALT DECLARE

983143l983137d tidi983150983143s ldquoAND THOU SHALTDO IT WITH 983137ll hu983149ilityTRUSTING IN ME 983154evili983150983143 983150ot

AGAINST REVILERSrdquo

(DampC 1929ndash30)

The tidings you declare

are glad Remember that

and make sure your face and

your voice show it too Also

the word revile here means

to hurl abusive or insulting

language at a person So if

ldquoFOR I AM

NOT ASHAMED

OF THE GOSPEL OF CHRISTrdquo

(Romans 116)

As President Thomas S

Monson has said ldquoWe will all

face fear experience ridiculeand meet opposition Let

usmdashall of usmdashhave the courage

to defy the consensus the

courage to stand for prin-

ciple Courage not com-

promise brings the smile of

Godrsquos approvalrdquo (ldquoBe Strong

and of a Good Couragerdquo

Ensign May 2014 69)

The scriptures give you some basic principles for standing up for your faith including the following

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 19

ldquoWe s983152e983137k

NOT IN THE WORDS which 983149983137983150rsquos

WISDOM TEACH ETH

but which THE HOLY GHOST

TEACHETHrdquo

(1 Corinthians 213)

ldquoHE THATHATH THE

SPIRIT OF CONTENTIONIS NOT OF ME

BUT ISOF THE DEVIL

WHO IS THE FATHER OFCONTENTION AND

HE STIRRETH UPTHE HEARTS

OF MEN

TO CONTEND WITH ANGER

ONE WITH ANOTHERrdquo(3 Nephi 1129)

HERErsquoS SOME ADVICE FROM THE SCRIPTURES

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2252

How Do You Defend Do you have experi-ence in defending yourbeliefs Or do you haveideas to add to theselists Go to ldsorggodefendNE8 and share

Finding Courage

Read more on this topic atldsorggocourageNE8

someonersquos doing that to you

donrsquot retaliate and do the

same thing back to them The

Apostle Peter taught that the

Savior Himself gave the exam-

ple you should follow in thisregard (see 1 Peter 223)

ldquoLOVE YOUR ENEMIESbless them

that curse you

DO GOOD TO T HEMTHAT HATE YOU

and pray for

them which

DESPITEFULLY USE YOUAND PERSECUTE YOUrdquo

(Matthew 544)ldquoSEE THAT YE ARE NOT lifted u983152 u983150to

983152ride ye983137 SEE THAT YE DO

NOT BOAST IN YOUR

OWN WISDOM

983150or of your 983149uch stre983150983143thldquoUSE BOLDNESS

BUT NOT

OVERBEARANCErdquo (Alma 3811ndash12)

Here the word tenets

refers to opinions or teachings

that go beyond the basics So

the Lord is saying to stick to

the basic message of the gos-

pel when yoursquore declaring Hisglad tidings This also applies

to defending your faith

You donrsquot need to stray into

detailed discussions about

every little thing related to the

Church As Elder Richard G

Scott of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles has said

ldquoKeep your sharing of the

gospel simple rdquo (ldquo lsquoI HaveGiven You an Examplerdquo

Ensign May 2014 34)

ldquoEveryone independent

of his or her decisions and

beliefs deserves our kind-

ness and considerationrdquo said

Elder Neil L Andersen of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles ldquoThe Savior

taught us to love not only

our friends but also those

who disagree with usmdashand

even those who repudiate

usrdquo (ldquoSpiritual Whirlwindsrdquo

Ensign May 2014 20)

Again be humble Itrsquos not

about you or how smart and

capable you are Also you can

be bold without making over-

blown statements or being

a verbal or intellectual bully

As Elder Jeffrey R Holland

of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoYou willone day find yourself called

upon to defend your faith

Such moments will require

both courage and courtesy

on your partrdquo (ldquoThe Costmdashand

Blessingsmdashof Discipleshiprdquo

Ensign May 2014 6)

ldquoA983150d of te983150ets thou sh983137lt 983150ot t983137lk but thou shalt

declare repentance andfaith on the Savior and 983154e983149issio983150 of si983150sby baptism and by fire

yea even the Holy Ghostrdquo(DampC 1931)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2452

22 N e w E r a

I received my first two-wheel bicycle

when I was eight years old With

the help of my older brother and

father I began the rather scary pro-

cess of figuring out how to ride it The other kids in the neighborhood

made it look so easy and natural as

they zoomed up and down the street

on their bikes I perched on the bike

seatmdashwhich seemed to be at least

10 feet (3 m) above the groundmdashand

realized there was absolutely noth-

ing to keep me from falling over and

proving that the law of gravity was

alive and well As I tried riding I learned quickly

that if I wanted to stay balanced I had

to keep pedaling When I first sat on

the seat speed was the last thing I

wanted to add to the already daunting

equation But I very soon understood

the wisdom and the physics involved

in moving forward As long as I kept

pedaling I could stay upright and

avoid the rough concrete just waiting

to take the skin off my arms and legs

Soon I was zipping around the neigh-

borhood with my friends

Defy Gr983137vity Defy Gr983137vity

of the First Presidency as outlined

in that booklet our lives will be bal-

anced and steady We will be led

where we want to go

We need to keep moving forwardto avoid falling To do that we should

consistently and faithfully do certain

actions

bull Pray morning and night

bull Study the scriptures daily

bull Attend Church meetings and par-

take of the sacrament worthily

bull Serve those around us

bull Be worthy to attend the temple

All of these actions keep us moving

forward in the right direction

Thatrsquos why reading and being famil-

iar with the standards described in For

the Strength of Youth will help ensure

we are making choices consistent with

Godrsquos standards Living these princi-

ples and keeping the commandments

F O R T H E S T R E N G T H O F Y O U T H

By Bonnie LOscarson

Young WomenGeneral President

As you keep moving forward you can stay upright even

when outside forces try to pull you down

Just as those who keep

pedaling a bike can stay

upright despite gravityrsquos

influence those who are

guided by the Holy Spirit in

all they do can withstand

the influence of theadversary

So it is with living the gospel and

the standards in For the Strength of

Youth It takes faith to believe that if

we consistently follow the counsel

GO FORWARD WITH FAITH

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 23

invite the Holy Ghost to be our con-

stant companion Just as those who

keep pedaling a bike can stay upright

despite gravityrsquos influence those who

are guided by the Holy Spirit in allthey do can withstand the influence of

the adversary

What are the destinations you have

in mind as you pedal forward For all

young men of the Aaronic Priesthood

preparing now for a full-time mission

is important in forward growth For

all youth being prepared to go to the

temple and receive the endowment by

making and keeping sacred covenantsshould also be a primary goal

As the message from the First

Presidency at the beginning of For the

Strength of Youth says ldquoIn all that you

do stay focused on the temple In the

temple you will receive the greatest

of all the Lordrsquos blessings including

marriage for time and all eternityrdquo1

Receiving the covenant of eternal

marriage in the house of the Lord and

becoming righteous husbands wives

fathers and mothers may seem far

down the road but the time to beginpreparing is now All of these things

lead to the most glorious and grand

destination of allmdasheternal life with

our Heavenly Father

One of my favorite scriptures

sums up what we need to do in order

to keep moving toward our goals

ldquoWherefore ye must press forward

with a steadfastness in Christ hav-

ing a perfect brightness of hopeand a love of God and of all men

Wherefore if ye shall press forward

feasting upon the word of Christ and

endure to the end behold thus saith

the Father Ye shall have eternal liferdquo

(2 Nephi 3120)

Just as I learned as an eight-year-

old girl that I needed to keep pedaling

and moving forward in order to defy

gravity and keep my balance on my

bicycle it is important for all of us to

keep moving forward with faith trust-

ing in the counsel of living prophetsand a loving Heavenly Father to keep

us from falling Some of our destina-

tions are just down the road while

others will take a lifetime of faithful

living to achieve The promises of

what lies at the end of the road if we

are faithful are certain and glorious

and well worth the ride NE

NOTE

1 For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

Learn MoreSee whatrsquos next in your covenant path

at ldsorggocovenantNE8

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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24 N e w E r a

BOA R D

GA M E S

B y Da vid Chris tensen

My chance to play le f t

a lasting impact but it

wasnrsquot what Irsquod e xpected

L o s i n

g s o

q u i c k

l y w

a s b

a d e

n o u

g h

b

u t t o

m a k

e m

a t t e r s

w o r s e

t h

e o t h

e r g

u y

s s t a r t e

d t o

m a k

e

f u n

o f

m e

I

t r i e d

t o c o

n t i n

u e

p l a y i n g

e v e

n t h

o u

g h

t h e y

w e r

e b

e i n

g m

e a n

b

u t i t

w a s h

a r d t o h o

l d b

a c k m y t e

a r s

o f f r u s t

r a t i o n

U

n f o

r t u n a t e l y

o n e t e

a r t r i c k l e

d d

o w

n m y

c h e e

k b

e f o

r e I

c o u

l d w i p

e i t

a w a y M

y b

r o t h

e r

s a w i t

a n d

t e a s e

d m

e t o

o

I c o

u l d

n rsquo t

t a k e i t

a n y

m o r e

a n d

r a n t o

m y

r o o m

I g a v e m y s e l

f a q u i c k p i n

c h

t o m a k e s u r

e I w a s n rsquo

t d r e a m i n g

a n d t h e

n I v o i c e d

a t i m i d ldquo Y e

a h

s u r e rdquo I s t

i l l c o u l d

n rsquo t b e l i e

v e t h a t

m y b r o t h e

r h a d i n v

i t e d m e t o

p l a y a g a m e w i t h

t h e ldquo b i g k i

d s rdquo

A f t e r a l l

I rsquo d b e e n t o l d f o r t h

r e e

y e a r s t h a

t I w a s s t i l l

t o o y o u

n g

t o p l a y m o r e d i f fi

c u l t b o a

r d

g a m e s w i t h m y b r o

t h e r a n d

h i s f r i e n d s

A N D B R O

T H

E R S

I

felt the hot tears of anger slowly slide

down my face I wiped them away with

my hand but I could still feel the

slightly salty taste on my lips assobs of anguish began to pour out

I just wanted to hang out with my

brother Why couldnrsquot he be my

friend too

J u s t a f e w

h o u r s

b e f o

r e I h a d

s t a r e d a t

m y o

l d e r b

r o t h

e r S t e v e

i n c o

m p

l e t e s u r p

r i s e

w a i t i n

g f o r h

i m t o

t e

l l

m e t h

a t h e w

a s o n

l y

j o k i n g ldquo W

e l l d o y o

u

w a n

t t o p

l a y rdquo S t e v e

a s k e d i m p

a

t i e n t l y

I w

e n t i n t o t h e

r o o m w h

e r e t h e

o l d e r b o y s

w e r e

s e t t i n g u p

t h e b o a r d

g a m e A s t h e

g a m e s t a r t e d

w i t h

e v e r y o n e s t r a t e g i c a l l y

p l a c i n g

t h e i r g a m

e

p i e c e s

I f e l t l i k e

I w

a s d r e a

m i n g F o r

t h e fi r s t t i m

e

I f e l t e q u a l t o

m y b r o t h e r mdash

n o t l i k e I

w a s j u s t h i s

t a g a l o n g

T h e d r e a m

e n d e d q u i c k

l y h o w e v e r

T h e

g a m e w

a s t o u g h

a n d m y i n

e x p e r i e n c e

a n d l a c k

o f k n o w l e d g e

b e c

a m e

p a i n f u l l y o b v i o u s

a s t h e o t

h e r

p l a y e r s q u i c k l y

a n d

s o u n d l y d e f e a t e d

m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2852

26 N e w E r a

Le983137r983150i983150983143 the i983150s 983137983150d outs of d983137ti983150983143 c983137983150 be h983137rd Let this course tur983150 you

i983150to 983137 d983137ti983150983143 983152ro

By Matthew ORichardson

Served as Second

Counselor in theSunday SchoolGeneral Presidencyfrom 2009 to 2014

hile speaking to youth about how to prepare for a celestial marriage

President Thomas S Monson emphasized that ldquoproper dating is a part

of preparation for marriagerdquo 1 Have you thought much about happy

relationships Elder Russell M Nelson of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said a ldquocelestial marriage brings greater possibilities for happiness than

does any other relationshiprdquo2

When I was serving as bishop in a young single adult ward I worried about those

who approached dating with very little purpose understanding or direction This

caused me to wonder if my own children would be any different when their time came

My wife and I decided to help our children prepare for ldquoproper datingrdquo and happy rela-tionships by creating the Richardson Dating Academy or RDA as our children call it

It wasnrsquot long after we started the RDA that friends of our children wanted to partici-

pate and even become RDA graduates So how about you Are you ready to become a

dating academy graduate yourself Class is in session

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 27

Lesso983150 1 ur983152oses 983137983150d St983137983150d983137rds of D983137ti983150983143

Lesso983150 2 W983137tch 983137983150d Le983137r983150

Homework

As you know ldquodatingrdquo means different things to differ-

ent people Your first assignment is to figure out just what

a ldquodaterdquo is according to Church standards Can you explain

the purposes of dating and the specific dating standards and

guidelines set by the Church Or do you know when itrsquosmost appropriate to be involved in dating and steady dating

(having a boyfriend or girlfriend)

You can find answers to these questions in the ldquoDatingrdquo

section of For the Strength of Youth The First Presidency

reminds us why knowing and understanding these stan-

dards are so important They promise ldquoThe standards in this

Elder Jeffrey R Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles once explained that most athletic contests have ldquolines

drawn on the floor or the field within which every participant

must stay in order to competerdquo3 Success depends on how

well a competitor knows and stays within the set boundaries

Likewise itrsquos important to know the ldquodating linesrdquo or the pur-

poses and standards of dating as taught by Church leaders

One of the most com-

mon ways people learn

is by watching others

Dating is no different

In the dating academy

we spend time observ-

ing others in dating

situations In our family

we learned many point-ersmdashsome to do others

to avoidmdashby watching

dates in progress at

restaurants and other

settings Yes we went to

certain places with the

sole purpose to observe

dates for ldquoclassrdquo

booklet will help you with the important choices you are

making now and will yet make in the futurerdquo4

Now that you have a solid foundation of the stan-

dards and purposes of dating (you did do your home-

work and read that section didnrsquot you) itrsquos time to move

on to lesson 2

Tips

Here are some suggestions that will help you learn

as you observe

bull Watch but donrsquot be creepy This is about learning from

others but not stalking staring or even judging Look for

things you like and things you would like to avoid

bull Go to a variety of places and settings to observe others

Not every date is the same nor should it be Watch how thesetting affects the experience

bull Watch how people interact with each other Can you tell

who is with whom Are they paying attention to each

other In what ways Are they talking with each other Do

they look like they enjoy being with each other How can

you tell if they are having fun

bull Talk with a parent leader or good friends and share what

you noticed and what you learned

Homework

The next time you go

out to eat attend a movie

or go to almost any activ-

ity make an effort to look

around and see how other

people are interacting It

may surprise you to see

how much dating is actu-ally going on Take the

time to learn from those

around you by paying

attention to whatrsquos work-

ing and what isnrsquot

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 3052

28 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 3 l983137983150983150i983150983143 983137 D983137te

Tips

bull Start planning early

bull Donrsquot be afraid to bounce ideas off your friendsparents and others They can provide excellent

suggestions that you havenrsquot even thought about

bull Make sure you let your budget amount of time

available the reasons for dating and Church stan-

dards guide your planning

bull Think of what you hope will happen during the

date from beginning to end This helps you realize

what needs to be done to make the date a success

bull Pay attention to details Call ahead for event times

prices menus and what the proper dress is for

the occasion

bull Plan for emergencies For example what will you

do if you donrsquot have enough money or have car

trouble What if your date gets sick

Homework

Rather than leaving everything to chance dating acad-

emy grads understand what needs to happen and theyplan accordingly

Your homework assignment even if yoursquore years away

from dating is to practice planning an event You can

brainstorm with friends really fun ideas for a date Then

work together to think of what planning is required to

make those ideas actually happen Or you can ask your

parents to let you plan the next family outing

You might choose a place to eat or what to do Plan all

the details (event times travel time cost backup plans)

and then put your plan into action You could evencome up with a dating plan complete with backup ideas

if something goes wrong and share it in family home

evening while talking together around the dinner table

or with friends You may find that properly planning an

activity is almost as much fun as the actual date

The quality of experience yoursquoll have with others is

often determined by what happens before a date begins

Showing up on your datersquos doorstep with no plan is a

recipe for an awkward experience Nobody likes playing

the ldquoWhat do you want to dordquo game

Yoursquore better than that With a little practice you can

become a date-planning champion And young women

no fair skipping this section While most of the time young

men plan and ask for dates yoursquoll still want to have these

skills down for when itrsquos your turn

Group Date IdeasNeed ideas Check out ldsorggoideasNE8 Some

of the youth activities there could be adapted for dates

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Homework

In the Richardson Dating Academy all of our

children practiced dating invitations For example

our children might call an aunt older sibling or other

family member to practice inviting someone on a

date Or our son or daughter would receive an invita-

tion from a family member and practice responding

They learned how to deal with rejection acceptance

or even a disinterested response or two

Now itrsquos your turn Working with your parents ask

them to line up somebody in your family you can call

and practice inviting on a date Make sure you do this

more than once

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 29

You know your dating standards front and back

yoursquove watched others in dating situations and

yoursquove come up with a solid date plan

Congratulations Now you still need to invite

someone Or you need to know how to respond

when you are invited So whatrsquos the best way A

phone call Ask in person Here are some different

points to consider

Lesso983150 4 I983150viti983150983143 Others 983137983150d Bei983150983143 I983150vited

Tips

bull Be ready to give details when you invite

someone on a date Talk about what you have

planned start and end times whorsquos participat-ing and how they should dress (casual dressy

etc) Your excellent planning from academy

lesson 3 makes this part of the academy easy

bull Therersquos a time to talk by phone and a time to

ask face-to-face The more important the event

is the more personal the invitation should be

Donrsquot be afraid to skip technology and actually

talk with someone

bull Some events may require you to speak with

your datersquos parents first This shows respectand courtesy

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30 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 5 O983150 the D983137te

It would be impossible for any dating academy to cover

every little thing to consider or plan for in dating So much

depends on good judgment communication with your par-

ents and listening to the Spirit

Still here are a few key points you might want to brush

up on before putting your date plan into action

Tips

bull Develop a ldquoyou firstrdquo attitude This means you always

think of your date first Is he or she having fun Is he or

she comfortable

bull Make sure you dress appropriately for the occasion

The way you dress usually communicates how you feelabout others and about the event Know the difference

between casual (but never sloppy) semiformal and

formal and when it would be appropriate to dress in

those ways

bull Show common courtesy by opening doors saying

thank you talking less about yourself and more about

your date and extending sincere compliments

bull Learn how to navigate restaurants Know how to make

a reservation get a table calculate a service tip and

pay the bill

Homework

Once again the best way to learn any good skill is by practic-

ing it Our youth enjoyed role-playing different situations

to think about how to act most appropriately We

also loved going out to eat as part of the dating acad-

emy experience Our children learned how to act in

a restaurant order a meal calculate the tip and paythe bill by actually doing it when they were with us

Look for opportunities to practice skills you should use on a

date For example the next time you and your family go some-

where ask your parents to let you purchase the tickets order

the meal or calculate the tip Treat your family or friends with

the same respect and courtesy that you should show others on a

date Open doors for your family be the first to say ldquothank yourdquo

and pay attention so you are part of the conversation

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 31

Lesso983150 6 The Doorste983152

NOTES

1 Thomas S Monson ldquoPreparation BringsBlessingsrdquo Ensign May 2010 64

2 Russell M Nelson ldquoCelestial Marriagerdquo Ensign Nov 2008 93

3 Jeffrey R Holland ldquoWe Are All Enlistedrdquo Ensign Nov 2011 45

4 ldquoMessage to the Youth from The First Presi-dencyrdquo For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

5 John Bytheway ldquoWhat Do Kisses Meanrdquo New Era Oct 2004 38ndash41

Last but not least dating

academy graduates know how

to conclude a date on the right

note Nothing sours a great date

more than a bad ending

Herersquos how you can finish a

date with success

Tips

bull Express gratitude Be sincere

and to the point If there was something you especially

liked tell your date what

it was

bull Therersquos no reason for drag-

ging things on at this point

Yoursquove already spent plenty

of time together Avoid the

ldquodoorstep shufflerdquo When

people arenrsquot sure what to

say they tend to shuffle backand forth or move their feet

in place If you find yourself

ldquoshufflingrdquo in place itrsquos a

pretty good signal that you

need to say good-bye

bull Know and follow the

Churchrsquos counsel on kissing

and physical intimacy (You

might also want to read John

Bythewayrsquos article ldquoWhat Do

Kisses Meanrdquo5 at ldsorggo

kissesNE8)

Homework

Yes herersquos another opportunity for practicing Our family has spent several family

home evenings role-playing doorstep good-byes Itrsquos been both helpful and fun to

watch an older sibling coach the younger sibling with dorsquos and donrsquots

Most memorable was an older sister showing how she could turn a hug into a

handshake with the grace of a princess and the speed of a ninja You too can get

together with family members and role-play different scenarios that might happen on

a doorstep We guarantee itrsquoll be an academy night yoursquoll all remember

Gr983137du983137tio983150

If yoursquove studied all the

material worked on the tips done

the homework and talked through

the lessons with your parents and

family you too can become a

dating academy graduate

As you continue strengthening

these important skills yoursquoll find

support strength and power that

will bless your relationships both

now and in the future You will be

better prepared for happiness NE

Do Try This at HomeInterested in having a dating academy at

home Let your parents know therersquos an RDAarticle for them in this monthrsquos Ensign or atldsorggoRDA

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32 N e w E r a

S U N DA Y L E S S

O N S

This Monthrsquos Topic

Ma r r iage a nd

Fa m i l y

MARRIAGE IS WORTH ITldquoIt is so rewarding to bemarried Marriage is wonder-ful In time you begin to thinkalike and have the same ideasand impressions You havetimes when you are extremelyhappy times of testing andtimes of trial but the Lordguides you through all ofthose growth experiencestogetherrdquo

Elder Richard G Scott of the

Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo

Ensign May 2011 96

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 33

We love being marr ied and he

rersquos why

By Ben and Rachel Nielsen

Letrsquos face it girls (and boys) itrsquos nice to know that someone loves you

And when yoursquore married you have chances to share and receive love every

day When I was talking to my parents about the possibility of marrying

Ben my dad said ldquoWhomever you choose to marry I want him to fre-

quently and sincerely express his love for you like Elder Richard G Scott did

for his wiferdquo3 I listened to Dad

I decided to marry Ben and he has always made an effort to express

his love to me in small and big ways During my senior year of college I

worked for months to prepare apply and interview for a prestigious intern-ship And when I finally heard that I got the job I came home and saw a

vase full of flowers from my husband He knew how hard I had worked and

how much the internship meant to me At other times hersquoll hide my favorite

drink and a love note in the fridge before he heads out for a weekend Scout

camp And every day hersquoll do the dishes and make me laugh Ben is great at

expressing his love for me and that brings both of us great joy

During my mission in Brazil I grew to love soccer One thing that I lovemost about this sport is having teammates and learning how to work together

with my team Rachel is a fantastic teammate She helps me achieve my

goals joins me in making important decisions and is there for me when I

have trouble

When we were sealed in the temple we promised to ldquohelp one another as

equal partnersrdquo2 Rachel and I strive to support each other in everything we

do and itrsquos great to know that I always have a reliable teammate

After our first date we both

knew we wanted to go

on a second date Ben

wanted to go on

another date because Rachel was

friendly and fun to talk to Rachel

wanted to go on another date

because Ben was a gentleman

and was still smiling after all of

his well-laid plans fell through

After the second date plus manymore dates and prayers after

that we fell in love and decided

to get married in the Sacramento

California Temple

The wedding day was abso-

lutely perfect and we have loved

being married ever since The

world may see marriage differ-

ently but we know that ldquono other

relationship of any kind canbring as much joy generate as

much good or produce as much

personal refinementrdquo1 Marriage

is awesome and herersquos why

FROM BEN A T e a m m a t e

FROM RACHEL

E x p r e s s i o n s o f L o v e

WHY MARRIAGE IS

A w e s o m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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34 N e w E r a

JOIN THE CONVERSATION

Things to Ponder for Sunday

bull What qualities and attitudes make for the strongest

and happiest marriages and families

bull What are you doing now that will help your future

marriage and family stay strong and happy

Things You Might Do

bull Share with some friends your goal of marrying and

having a family and tell them why

bull In church share why you are looking forward

to marriage and family and how you are pre-

paring for them

serving in the Church and inviting others to come unto

Christ As we work together to build the kingdom of God

we grow closer our love deepens and life is more fulfilling

Dating Rachel is so much fun In fact we make surethat we still frequently go on dates even as a married

couple After we first met we found that we enjoy many

of the same activities walking through parks attending

plays watching sporting events eating new and different

food listening to music and so much more I loved doing

these things before I met Rachel but theyrsquore even more

fun now that we get to share them together When yoursquore

married you have someone to enjoy life withmdashand that

makes life awesome

Before I met Ben I was nearing the age of missionary

service and had seriously considered serving a full-time

mission But then Ben entered my life and I knew that

Heavenly Father had a different plan for me

When Ben and I got engaged relatives who knew

about my thoughts to serve a mission asked me about my

choice and I would tell them ldquoI decided that I wanted topick my own missionary companionmdashand stay with him

for eternityrdquo

When yoursquore married you and your spouse have the

chance to participate in the work of salvation together

Ben and I have found great joy in building a Christ-

centered home studying and living the gospel together

Despite what the world may say marriage is awesome

and is worth making a priority When yoursquore married you

have a teammate you give and receive love you enjoy life

more fully and you have someone to build the kingdom

of God with All of that brings us great joy and because

we were sealed in the temple we can have this joy forever

If we keep our covenants we will be together for eternityand receive the crowning blessings of the priesthood We

ldquohave found in marriage the richest fulfillment of human

existencerdquo 4 NE

Ben and Rachel Nielsen live in Utah USA

NOTES

1 L Whitney Clayton ldquoMarriage Watch and Learnrdquo Ensign May 2013 83 2 ldquoThe Family A Proclamation to the Worldrdquo Ensign Nov 2010 129 3 See Richard G Scott ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo Ensign May

2011 96 4 James E Faust ldquoEnriching Your Marriagerdquo Ensign Apr 2007 6

FROM BEN M o r e E n jo y m e n t

FROM RACHEL A n E t e r n a l M is s i o n a r y C o m p a n io n

TAKE IT FROM US

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Your family can help unite the family of GodYou can all share the gospel in natural and pleasant ways

P H O T O I L L U S T R A T I O N B Y D A V I D S T O K E R

M O R M O N A D

(See M Russell Ballard ldquoPut Your Trust in the Lordrdquo Ensign Nov 2013 43)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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36 N e w E r a

By Alex Larsen

I always knew I wanted to be a mother but when I was grow-

ing up it wasnrsquot always on my mind When my fianceacute and I

were engaged one day I was talking with one of my college

professorsmdasha woman I greatly admiredmdashabout my engage-

ment She said something that brought my life choices into sharp

focus ldquoYou are wasting your talentrdquo she told me as she shook

her head She went on to say that someone as smart as I was

should not get married young She assumed I would have chil-

dren in my future and would be ldquothrowing awayrdquo my education

and chances of a stellar career on my future motherhood I could

tell by the way she looked at me that she thought I was making

a terrible and naiumlve mistake

Itrsquos been several years since that conversation and my hus-

band and I have two little girls Kate is three years old and is

my little sweetheart She moves through life at a leisurely pace

savoring all of the little details she notices Annabel is one yearold with bright blue eyes and a head of curls Shersquos exuberant

and determined Though I didnrsquot change my mind because of

what my professor said our discussion has stayed with me In

one way my professorrsquos predictions were correct I do not have

a prestigious working career But my professor got the most

important point wrong because I have wasted nothing

g i v i n

g u p e v e r y

t hi n g

but wh a t

I

g a i n ed

w as w o r t h so much m o r e

T h e wor l d t o l d me

I w ould

b e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 37

their spirits growing and developing I remember

the first time Kate pointed to a picture of the Savior and

said ldquoJesusrdquo I knew then that what I was doing was eter-

nally significant in the lives of my children

The world often tells us that lifersquos rewards come in

the form of status money or grand accomplishments

but I know therersquos great satisfaction even in the small

acts of changing diapers or wiping sticky fingers Every

little thing I do as a mother is part of helping to build the

kingdom of God by nurturing His children I always knew

I wanted children but it was not until I held my first baby

in my arms that I began to realize how much my heart

was capable of loving

The love I have for my daughters has helped me bet-

ter understand how much my Heavenly Father loves all

of His children When speaking of little children Jesustaught that ldquoof such is the kingdom of heavenrdquo (Matthew

1914) More than anything motherhood has helped me

to grow as a daughter of God because now I know what

a daughter of God looks like from the eyes of a parent

The world makes us think that a woman loses herself in

motherhoodmdashshe loses her body her free time and her

career But I have found myself in motherhood I feel

more beautiful and more valuable than ever before NE

Alex Larsen lives in California USA

I love the opportunity to stay home and care for my

young children because these are the most formative

years of their lives I have the opportunity to create a rich

home environment for my girls by reading and discussing

things with them as part of our everyday life Kate will

often astound me by remembering and commenting on

something wersquod read in a book several weeks before and

Annabel learns a new skill almost every day But as fun

and important as it is to watch them learn new

information and skills I feel the

most satisfied when I see

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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38 N e w E r a

One o f t h e g r e a t e s t ad v enture s o f y o u r l i f e w i l l b e y our rol e a n d c a l l i n g a s a f a t her

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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ROcksROcksROcks

NOTE

1 See Thomas S Monson ldquoWelcome to Conferencerdquo Ensign Nov 2012 4ndash5

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 39

DA D D A DD AD

By Chris Deaver

W

hen I was younger I loved spending time

with my dad He always knew the bestgames to play the best stories to tell at night

and the most interesting sports to try It was

like he was born to be a great dad

Fast-forward my life to when I married my sweetheart

Julia and then even further to the moment that our first

child Daniel was born I was filled with a rush of emo-

tions I was happy shocked amazed and a little scared

I felt totally inadequate to be a father and to have the

responsibility of teaching and being an example to my son

But I quickly realized that Irsquod been preparing all my life tobe a dad When I held my son in my arms for the first time

and looked down into his face I felt the Spirit touch my

heart and I realized that I was ready to try to be a great

dad just like my own dad was to me

When Daniel was very young he already had a great

sense of humor He learned to tell hilarious jokes that

would make my wife and me laugh He also often said

things that inspired us Shortly after hearing President

Thomas S Monson announce the change in age require-

ments for young men and young women preparingto serve missions1 we were driving in the car Daniel

announced that he would start preparing himself right

then at age six so he would have 12 years of preparation

Then he said with a smile ldquoDad can I change the song

from lsquoI Hope They Call Me on a Missionrsquo to lsquoI AM Going on

a Missionrsquordquo It was awesome

WHYbeing a

Three years after Daniel was born he was followed by his

brother Austin For me as a dad itrsquos been great to watch bothboys become best friends And Austin has been just as fun

as Daniel in his own way He enjoys building and destroying

block towers and one of his favorite activities is to fearlessly

wrestle me as if I stand no chance against his four-year-old

powers Of course I give in and let him winmdashso I guess I

reinforce his belief But itrsquos so much fun I know hersquoll be a

great wrestler but what I want most is for him to wrestle

ldquoagainst the rulers of the darkness of this worldrdquo and ldquoagainst

spiritual wickednessrdquo like it says in the scriptures (Ephesians

612) And I hope Irsquom helping to prepare him to do that We just recently had our third child a baby girl named

Faith During the delivery my wife was having some com-

plications and we were scared for our baby I gave Julia

a blessing Then she asked me to sing to her The Spirit

brought peace to both of us Soon baby Faith came safely

into the world It was a miracle and she definitely lived up

to her name Faithrsquos beautiful smile brightens my life I canrsquot

express in words how much she means to me

For any young man still wondering let me tell you You

were born to be a great dad The world may not agree butfatherhood is the best Someday yoursquoll find that your kids

inspire you too and that being a dad is the greatest adven-

ture of your life Yes itrsquos a duty and something you need to

take seriously but being a dad is unlike anything else NE

Chris Deaver lives in Florida USA

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40 N e w E r a

We always seem to be encouraged to read more

because well everyone knows that reading is a

good thing But not all books are worth reading and just

because sexual material is written about rather than pho-

tographed or video recorded doesnrsquot mean that itrsquos less

morally hazardous Making a common display of a sacred

intimacy thatrsquos intended to only be part of a marriage rela-

tionship is wrongmdashwhether in words or imagesIf something yoursquore reading contains explicit sexual

descriptions that imprint themselves on your mind and

arouse sexual feelings in the same way that looking at

pornographic images would then guess what Itrsquos pornog-

raphy Remember the counsel in For the Strength of Youth

ldquoChoose wisely when using media because whatever you

read listen to or look at has an effect on you Select only

media that uplifts yourdquo ([2011] 11) NE

T O T H E P O I N T

President Boyd K

Packer President of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoEach

of us must come to ourown personal testimony

of the Lord Jesus Christ

We then share that testi-

mony with our family and

othersrdquo1 It can sometimes

be easy to question the

depth of your testimony

I know looking at pornographic

pictures is wrong but whatabout reading books with

ldquoromanticrdquo scenes

If I donrsquot have a burning

desire to share thegospel does that mean I

donrsquot have a testimony

when you compare your-

self to people like Brigham

Young who once said ldquoI

wanted to thunder and

roar out the gospel to thenations It burned in my

bones like fire pent uprdquo2

So what if you donrsquot feel

fire in your bones

Hopefully your lack of

desire doesnrsquot come from

a lack of concern for your

fellowmen As your faith in

Jesus Christ grows so does

your love of all people a

love that is a mark of the

true followers of Christ (see

Moroni 748 John 1335)

Itrsquos likely however

that your hesitancy sim-

ply comes from fear and

anxiety about speaking toothers For many people

such feelings can be over-

whelming Even prophets

have had doubts about their

ability to speak to people

(see Exodus 410 Moses

631) They of course

had no reason to question

their testimoniesmdashand

neither should you if you

are studying the scriptures

pondering praying fasting

repenting and doing all the

other things that help bring

the Spirit into your life

If you feel you just

need a little extra cour-age to share the gos-

pel visit ldsorggo

shareNE8 for ideas NE

NOTES

1 Boyd K Packer ldquoThe Witnessrdquo Ensign May 2014 96

2 Teachings of Presidents ofthe Church Brigham Young (1997) viii

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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C O M E F O L L O W M E

Family

983152983137tter983150 of

President Boyd K PackerPresident of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

April 2014 general conference

The ultimate end

of all activity in

the Church is that

a man and his wife

and their childrencan be happy

at home

The FamilyYoursquoll be studying about the family in your Sunday classes

this month As you study and discuss family you may pon-der these questions Why do Church leaders emphasize

family so much What is the place of family in Heavenly

Fatherrsquos plan How does family help make us happy

To find some answers to these questions see the

family proclamation near the back of your Personal

Progress or Duty to God booklet or online at ldsorg

gofamilyNE8 Yoursquoll also find teachings about

family relationships in general conference talks at

conferenceldsorg

Give yourself an easy reminder to prepare for your

Sunday lessons on the family Just place these cards

in your scriptures locker or bedroom You can also

download or share them online at ldsorggocardsNE8 B A C K G R O U N D T E X T U R E

B Y I S T O C K P H O T O T H I N K S T O C K

We 983150eed We 983150eed

MOR E

983155tre983150983143the983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

RELATIONSHIPS

983153u983137lity 983153u983137lity TIME amp EFFORT INTO

TO PUT

983155re983150983143te983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4452

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4552

T H E E X T R A S M I L E

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 43

I dont like to pack so I rsquo m just wearing all my stuff

JON CLARK

W h a t m a k e s y o

u t h i n k

D a d rsquo s t a l k i n g t o

t h e

p r o p h e t

B ecaus e h e s ai d h e w as on a conf er ence cal l

RYAN STOKER

F r o m n o w o n j u s t t a k e

a p i c t u r e o f t h e t o o t h a n

d

u p l o a d i t t o m y F a c e b o o k

p a g e

a n d t h e n I rsquo l l s e n d y o u t h e

m o n e y t h r o u g h P a y P a l

RANDY GLASBERGEN

[Gasp] He he made h is bed this morning

And I didnrsquo t even ask

VAL CHADWICK BAGLEY

Who says there arenrsquo t modern m iracles

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4652

44 N e w E r a

ldquoMymom works

Since you donrsquot see your mom often make sure that

the time you do have together is used well You

could talk to your mom about how to do this She

wants a good relationship with you too and will

help you work on it Try asking her what she would

appreciate coming home to a clean house doing an activity

together just talking with you As you regularly do activities your mom appreciates your relationship will improve

Of course you could plan some fun activities to do together

but any meaningful time togethermdashsuch as washing the dishes

or reading the scripturesmdashcan be a great way to build your

relationship

Also plan time for communication Understanding one

another is a key ingredient in good relationships One thing

to discuss is how your momrsquos work schedule will affect your

relationship with her You can avoid misunderstandings if you

talk about your expectations as well as your momrsquosPrayer will help Families are important to Heavenly Father

so He can inspire you to know how to improve your relation-

ship with your mom Donrsquot ignore a prompting to do something

that seems small (see Alma 376) A hug and a smile for exam-

ple can make a big difference NE

Write a Note

Even if you have very

little time together you

can still express your

love to your mother

Write her thoughtful secret notes As

she reads them at work she will think

of you Do as much as you can for

her Think about her more often and

pray for her Ask the Lord to inspire

you and prompt you regarding how

you can improve your relationship Irinka E 20 Odessa Ukraine

Seek to Understand Her

Try to understand her situation

because she works for your benefit

You can begin by helping with things

at home like cleaning the house

helping your siblings and cooking

You also can share scriptures with

your mom pray together and doactivities that you like to do together

Morony M 18 Chihuahua Mexico

Have a Special Sunday

On some Sundays we

have a special lunch

or dinner with a new

dessert we talk and at

the end we sing hymns This brings

us together and helps us be betterfriends

Rebeca N 12 Satildeo Paulo Brazil

Try an Experiment

We arrange time to be together hav-

ing family home evening playing

games going to the beach having

lunch together All of this helps to

Q U E S T I O N S amp A N S W E R S

all day Howcan I improve our

relationshiprdquo

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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keep the flame of a good relationship

alive When we disagree we avoid

criticizing I know that sometimes I

ask not to do housework but this

contributes to disharmony in the

home Since I began this experiment

mdashcomplaining less lowering my

voice helping more with housework

and talking more with my mothermdash

a sweet spirit has developed in our

home and we cooperate more

Glenda C 18 Bahia Brazil

Help at Home

Do some extra chores

around the house Your

mom has been work-

ing all day If she has

less work to do when she gets home

shersquoll probably be happier and have

more time to talk and do things with

you While you are talking you canask about her day at work It will

show her that you care and it will

open doors for other topics of discus-

sion allowing you to grow closer

Heather B 18 Oregon USA

Find Something You BothLike to Do

My mumrsquos relationship with me

skyrocketed when I said ldquoI want tospend more time with you but I donrsquot

know what to do or when to do itrdquo

Playing board games happens to be

our favorite pastime So we set aside

a time together to play laugh and

make memories When you are open

with your parents eventually they

become your best companions You

UPCOMING QUESTION

ldquoMy parents just

got divorced Irsquom angry that they

have broken up our

family How doI forgive themrdquo

Send your answer and photo by

September 15 2014

Go to neweraldsorg click ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo enter your LDS Accountand then select ldquoNew Erardquo

Responses may be edited for length

or clarity

Responses are intended for help and per-

spective not as official pronouncements ofChurch doctrine

will be able to talk to them about

anything and you will be sure of an

honest answer That is the sign of a

mature relationship

Ephraim S 15 New South Wales Australia

Read Scriptures Together

Both of you could set a goal to read

together every day even just five

minutes from the Book of Mormon

or any other Church book It will

strengthen your relationship andnourish you with the word of God

so you can be ready to face each day

Remember also to pray to God and

ask for His help I know He hears you

and loves you

Laura M 19 Coacuterdoba Argentina

LEARN FROM

YOUR MOTHER

ldquoPlease look to yourfaithful mothers fora pattern to followModel yourselves

after them not after celebritieswhose standards are not the Lordrsquosstandards and whose values maynot reflect an eternal perspectiveLook to your mother Learn fromher strengths her courage andher faithfulness Listen to her She

may not be a whiz at texting shemay not even have a Facebookpage But when it comes to mat-ters of the heart and the thingsof the Lord she has a wealth ofknowledgerdquo

Elder M Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles ldquoMothers and Daughtersrdquo

Ensign May 2010 19

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46 N e w E r a

MISERABLE TOTHE END OFTHE STREET

For one family home evening my

dad wanted to take advantage

of a pause in the rainy weather

to go on a walk around the neighbor-

hood I grumbled and complained

that it was too wet and muddy to

go walking I used the excuse that

I had a ballet recital that week and

didnrsquot want to sprain an ankle but

my dad didnrsquot buy it He insisted thatit was going to be the activity for the

evening I murmured a bit more about

the unfairness and my recital but we

left on the walk anyway

As I glumly stomped outside for

the walk with my family I was deter-

mined not to smile or be happy I

succeeded in feeling miserable until

I N S T A N T M E S S A G E S

we reached the end of the street Then

we turned the corner and I saw in full

force naturersquos beauty and wonder

Before me was a gorgeous sunset

and opposite it was a rainbow arching

above our neighborhood rooftops

I immediately forgot all about being

miserable and looked around in awe

On the way home I said a prayer of

gratitude thanking God for the beautyof His creations I later thanked my

dad for choosing the activity and for

allowing us to enjoy nature for that

family home evening

Jennie H North Carolina USA

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 47

STANDARDS AND FRIENDS

Since Irsquove been in school Irsquove had friends who havenrsquot understood the

moral standards of our religion At first it was difficult but over time

my friends have become used to the idea of my being morally clean I

made a goal in my life to be clean and pure and itrsquos worked out well both

for me and for those who used to criticize me Over time respect peace and

joy have become a part of our loving circle of friends

Vitoacuteria M Brazil

A DIFFICULT DECISION

FORGIVINGMY FRIENDS

As the only member of the

Church in my peer group

Irsquove experienced some

instances when my friends have

offended me Sometimes they judge

and criticize my religion I feel so

alone yet Irsquom thankful I know the

standards of the Church

If my friends offend me I try to

humble myself and avoid contention

because I know contention is evil When they start discussing some mat-

ters about the Church I just testify of

my belief in the gospel

I always forgive my friends with or

without their apology Forgiving is not

just about saying ldquoApology acceptedrdquo

or ldquoItrsquos OKrdquo because forgiveness has

a deep meaning Jesus Christ atoned

for our sins so that Heavenly Father

can forgive usEven though my friends donrsquot

understand my faith now I know that

I can be Godrsquos instrument to teach

them the gospel I am helping them

and at the same time I am helping

myself to grow spiritually and prepare

to serve a mission

Joshua V Philippines

As volleyball tryouts approached for my senior year in high

school I couldnrsquot believe the thought that was running through

my head I wasnrsquot supposed to play volleyball Irsquod played vol-

leyball since seventh grademdashwhy should this year be any different

Not seeing the sense in quitting I ignored the feeling and continued

to participate in summer volleyball events After a while the feeling

came back so I decided that if I really wasnrsquot supposed to be on the

team my coach would just cut me during tryouts

Then one night at the gym I couldnrsquot focus on the game at all I felt

terrible and restless inside I came home frustrated with my team and

with myself I sat next to my mom and sister and cried I told them

how confused I was and my mom told me to pray and ask Heavenly

Father what He wanted me to do I went up to my room and began to

pray I told Heavenly Father how I felt then I asked Him to help mefeel peace if I was not supposed to continue playing volleyball I felt

His peace in my heart and knew that I needed to quit

Irsquom still not sure all the reasons why that was the right

decision but I know that itrsquos what the Lord

wanted me to do and thatrsquos a good

enough reason for me

The next morning I told my

coach and my teammates that

I wasnrsquot going to be playing

Even though it was incrediblyhard I knew I was doing

the right thing

Klaire B Arizona USA

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httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5152

you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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6 N e w E r a

By Mindy Raye FriedmanChurch Magazines

When they meet someone they

offer the person a piece of banana

bread When the person accepts he

or she is told that although the bread

is delicious and good for the body

the missionaries have a message that

will be nourishing to the personrsquos soul

The young men and their companions

then invite the person to meet withthe missionaries In this way theyrsquove

been able to get 40 to 50 referrals for

the missionaries in a couple of hours

The young men also fellowship the

members of their own quorums On

Saturdays they meet for a Young Men

983137983150983137983150983137 Be983137d

For these young men sharing a slice of bread has blessed

countless lives including their own

activity and to work on Duty to

God Then they visit the less-active

members of their quorum They

encourage them to attend church

and then invite them to come back

to play sports or participate in

another activity

In this way and many others

these young men are preparing tobe lifelong missionaries Two of

them (at right) share how they feel

strengthened and inspired by their

experiences

Missionaries

If someone offered you a piece

of delicious banana bread how

would you react For the young

men in a ward in Ecuador thatrsquos

one way they start conversations

about the gospel

Every two months they have a

missionary day with open houses in a

different area of their ward They splitinto several teams each made up of

a young man a full-time or recently

returned missionary and an elder or

high priest Some of the groups work

at a tent some go to contact people

in the park and some go door to door

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Ihave been a member of the Church

for five years My parents are not

members but my uncle Jorge is

the Young Men president and he

has been a great support I am also

grateful to my bishop for his con-

stant support and encouragement

I decided to get closer to the

Church after one of the missionary

days they had in the ward It was

one of my first experiences that

motivated me to join the Church As

a deacon teacher and now a priestmy leaders have always supported

and encouraged me to participate

in all of the missionary work activ-

ities I like the open houses where

I have the opportunity to share

with others the blessing of being a

member of Christrsquos Church What

inspires me most are the service

Changed by

the Gospel

Your Missio983150983137ry Ex983152erie983150ce s

As a deacon I learned my

responsibilities thanks to the

support of my parents and lead-

ers and working with the goals

in the Duty to God booklet As a

teacher I learned more by going

to do visits as a home teacher

participating in the open houses

on the missionary days sharing

banana bread attending Mutual

and participating in ward and

stake activities

Now as a priest I get tofocus more on missionary work

Working with the Young Men

president and as an assistant to

the bishop I have learned much

more about my responsibilities as

a priesthood holder

Our leaders constantly invite

us to come with them and the

full-time missionaries so that we

can become familiar with mis-sionary work They also exhort

us to read the scriptures espe-

cially the Book of Mormon All

of these experiences motivate

and prepare me to receive the

higher priesthood and to serve

a full-time mission

Isaac G 17

Learning My

Responsibilities

activities where I have the oppor-

tunity to serve my neighbor as

Jesus taught us to do

A year ago my younger broth-

ers Luis age 15 and Israel age 12

joined the Church Together we

have been working on the projects

in Duty to God and since their

baptisms we have shared wonderful

experiences working together All of

the young men in the ward are very

close and we support each other

I know that baptism is the gateto enter the kingdom of heaven

When we are in the service of

our fellow beings we are in the

service of God (see Mosiah 217)

Missionary work blesses fami-

lies and I know that my life has

changed because of the gospel

Alvaro T 17

How have you shared the gospel through small and simple means

Share your stories by visiting neweraldsorg and clicking ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo or by emailing neweraldschurchorg

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8 N e w E r a

By Thomas E Robinson III

F R O M T H E M I S S I O N F I E L D

One small prompting can

change lives for the better

A M I RAC LE

ATT H E

AI RP O RT

s a new missionary in Japan I

had a hard time understanding

anyone let alone getting to

know them It was difficult

to learn to love people I didnrsquot even

know especially when I couldnrsquot

understand what they were saying

But I made an effort to show mylove for them and I appreciated their

efforts to reach out to me

Each week my companion and I

received a loaf of homemade bread

from a sister in the ward named Sister

Senba She showed her love for the

missionaries by baking homemade

bread and writing small but heartfelt

notes

I was touched that someone caredabout me I felt impressed to show my

gratitude to her in some small way

I wrote her a note expressing how

grateful I was for her and the sacri-

fices she and her family made to help

the missionaries We became friends

and I began to think of her as my

ldquomother away from homerdquo

A

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Months passed Early one

Wednesday morning I received a

call from my mission president

who asked me to transfer down to

Okinawa When I hung up the phone

I was filled with the most bittersweet

feeling I dreaded having to say my

good-byes Each phone call to tell

members of the ward I would be

leaving on the following day made

my heart hurt Saying good-bye to thepeople I had come to love so much

was more difficult than I had imag-

ined it would be

As I finished these calls I noticed

that the only one who had not

answered the phone was Sister Senba

I was sad I would not be able to say

good-bye to a member who had

become so close to my heart

The next morning two other mis-sionaries and I left for the airport

When we arrived at the ticket counter

and tried to buy tickets the work-

ers told us that our cards had been

declined We did not have any money

to pay for the tickets and the flight

was leaving in 10 minutes The three

of us were in a panic We were about

to miss the flight and be stranded at

the airport for the dayBut all of my panic turned to com-

fort when I turned around and saw

Sister Senba walk into the airport

I was shocked that she was there

because she hadnrsquot known what time

our flight was As she scrambled over

to us she smiled and gave us all bread

to bring onto the plane

As we explained to her that we

were going to miss our flight she

became saddened None of us knew

what to do Then Sister Senba began

rummaging through her purse look-

ing for something that could help us

She jumped happily into the air when

she found a small envelope in her

purse in which weeks ago she had

placed yen50000mdashthe exact amount of

money we needed She gave us the

At that moment I felt the Spirit

more strongly than I ever have before

Sister Senbarsquos example taught me how

important it is to follow the prompt-

ings of the Spiritmdashno matter how

small or strange the prompting might

seem Through these promptings we

have the power to change lives for

the better I know it was not a coinci-

dence that she came to the airport It

was a miracle

TRULY THE LORD USES SMALL MEANS TO

BRING ABOUT HIS WORK

money and we were able to get our

tickets in time We thanked her with

every ounce of gratitude our souls

could muster said good-bye and

rushed onto the plane After the plane took off my fellow

missionary turned to me and said

ldquoIsnrsquot she amazing That was

a miraclerdquo

I then realized how truly mirac-

ulous it really was He then said

ldquoWhat does your note sayrdquo I saw he

was reading a note that was with the

bread Sister Senba had given

him As I realized I had onetoo I pulled out the note

and read a small piece of

paper personally addressed

to me which immediately

made my eyes swell with

tears It said ldquoI love you

Please donrsquot forget me I

will never forget yourdquo

Truly the Lord uses small means to

bring about His work How blessed

we are as members of this Church to

have His influence in our lives Let

us all remain worthy to receive thesepromptings and bless the lives of the

children of God NE

Thomas E Robinson III lives in Utah USA

Editorrsquos note Sister Senba was promptly

reimbursed by the mission

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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When I got my first paycheck for my first real job (at a

sandwich shop) I rewarded myself with a shopping

spree I bought some music and a cute outfit After

spending every dollar Irsquod earned I thought about

my purchases

ldquoThere goes two whole weeks of workrdquo I

thought And a sick feeling started to grow inmy stomach

As I thought about all those hours of hard work mak-

ing sandwiches my superficial purchases hardly seemed

worth it I vowed to be more careful with my money

So from then on I saved every penny for college and a pos-

sible mission and never bought anything I wanted ever again

Yeah right

I was still a normal teenager who wanted stylish clothes

good music and fun activities with my friends But coming

from a big family I knew that if I wanted those things I wouldhave to save money to pay for them myself

It might sound impossible but I found ways to be finan-

cially prepared for the future and have fun at the same timemdash

even with a part-time job that didnrsquot pay very much Here are

some tips on how you can increase your ldquomoney smartsrdquo

10 N e w E r a

HOW TO BEMONEY SMART

By Arianne Cope

Y O U W O R K H A R D F O R Y O U R M O N E Y A fewi983149983152le 983152ri983150ci983152les c983137983150 983149983137ke your c983137sh 983143o further

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A BUDGET THAT WORKS

Yoursquove probably been told about budgets

from the day you earned your first nickel or

dime Thatrsquos because it really works A bud-get is a plan that will help you make the best

use of what you earn and save Herersquos one

way you can set up a budget of your own

1 Decide on a time frame for your budget

Most budgets plan for expenses monthly

2 Add up every dollar you plan to make

to figure out your expected income (Or

use last monthrsquos earnings for this monthrsquos

spending so you have an exact amount

available)

3 Calculate how much yoursquoll need to pay

for tithing along with any other offerings

you might want to give

4 Create a list of things you think yoursquoll pur-

chase throughout the month along with

how much theyrsquoll probably cost

5 Separate your needs from your wants

because yoursquoll want to spend your money

on needs first

6 Subtract the total cost of your needs from

your total income

7 Set aside a little money each month for

your wants

8 After paying for tithing and your imme-

diate needs put most of the money thatrsquos

left into savings Look to the future and set

a plan to save for college a mission (par-

ticularly young men) or other big things

Think about how much you need to save

every month to meet the financial goals

you have for those big things in the future

9 Remember that making your budget work

takes solid planning a strong commit-

ment and self-discipline Itrsquos tough but

itrsquos worth it

SHOPPING PRINCIPLES

If yoursquore like most teenagers yoursquore prob-

ably going to want to spend some of your

money at the mall at a store or online So

yoursquoll want to know some basic principles

about shopping before you go

bull Decide what yoursquore planning to buy

before you go shopping Then stick to

your plan and avoid the habit of buying

things on impulse

bull Buy something only if you really love it

Donrsquot let your friends a salesperson or an

advertisement talk you into buying some-

thing yoursquore not going to use often

bull Remember that the word sale doesnrsquot

always mean yoursquore getting a good deal

Look for the best quality at the lowest

price Sometimes that means paying a

little bit more for something that will last a

lot longer

bull Ask yourself if you can live without the

item Remember the old adage ldquoFix it up

wear it out make it do or do withoutrdquo

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 11

T H E B O O K O F M O R M O N

CONCERT

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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SOME FINAL TIPS

Just to finish here are some general

money-related guidelines to keep in mind

bull Keep track of your money and keep it in

a safe place

bull You canrsquot buy happiness but being will-

ing to share usually results in a smile

bull Avoid gambling of any kind

bull Be cautious of things that seem too good

to be truemdashthey usually are

The most important lesson about money

however is to keep in mind that wersquore not

here on earth to get rich or to have a lot of

fancy things Remember these truths from

the Doctrine and Covenants ldquoSeek not for

riches but for wisdom and behold the mys-

teries of God shall be unfolded unto you

and then shall you be made rich Behold he

that hath eternal life is richrdquo (DampC 67) NE

Arianne Cope lives in Utah USA

THE FUN STUFF

Herersquos a little-known fact a half-gallon

of ice cream from the grocery store tastes

almost as good as ice cream from an ice-cream shop Also a fact you can often buy

a half-gallon of ice cream for the same price

yoursquod pay for a single serving at an ice-

cream shop So if you need to save some

money suggest that your friends all split a

half-gallon from the store rather than spend-

ing a lot more at the ice-cream shop

And thatrsquos just one example of simple

money solutions You can be frugal in lots of

ways while still having a great time

bull Watch the newspaper or look online to

find free community or local events

bull If you want to see a movie go to a mati-

nee or a dollar theater for cheaper tickets

bull Plan ahead Make a list of ideas of free

things to do with your friends so you

wonrsquot rely on spending money to enter-

tain yourselves

bull Have fun outdoors without paying much

(if anything) Enjoy a campfire in the

canyon or on the beach or a free Frisbee

game at the parkmdashthey can be just

as much fun as going to a movie or a

concert

12 N e w E r a

FACT YOU CAN OFTEN BUY A HALF-GALLON OF

ICE CREAM FOR THE SAME PRICE YOUrsquoD PAY FOR A

SINGLE SERVING AT AN ICE-CREAM SHOP

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 13

3 Nephi 1815 20ndash21Jesus Christ taught the Nephites the importance of prayer

Editorrsquos note This page is not meant to be a com-

prehensive explanation of the selected seminary

scripture mastery verses only a starting point for

your own study

983148983141983155983156 983161983141 983138983141 983156983141983149983152983156983141983140

This is one of many scriptures

that teach how praying can help

us escape Satanrsquos temptations (see

also DampC 105 3112 and 6139)

Here are some other blessings thescriptures promise when you obey

the command to pray always What

blessings have you received

bull You will be worthy to stand in the

presence of God (see Luke 2136)

bull The Lord will consecrate your

efforts (see 2 Nephi 329)

bull The Spirit will be poured upon

you (see DampC 1938)

bull You will be given strength toendure (see DampC 88126)

bull Things will work out for your

good (see DampC 9024)

983152983154983137983161 983137983148983159983137983161983155

ldquoWe should be alone

with our Heavenly

Father at least two

or three times each

daymdashlsquomorning mid-day and eve-ningrsquo as the scripture indicates (Alma

3421) In addition we are told to

pray always (See 2 Ne 329 DampC

88126) This means that our hearts

should be full drawn out in prayer

unto our Heavenly Father continually

(See Alma 3427)rdquo

President Ezra Taft Benson (1899ndash1994) ldquoPray

Alwaysrdquo Ensign Feb 1990 2

L I N E U P O N L I N E

983159983144983137983156983155983151983141983158983141983154 983161983141 983155983144983137983148983148 983137983155983147

In the scriptures the Lord repeatedly

promises to answer our prayers if we

will but ask What can you learn from

these scriptures about how to ask and

receive answers What other scriptures

can you find that teach about this

bull James 15ndash6

bull 1 Nephi 1511

bull Enos 12ndash15

bull Mormon 921

bull DampC 810

bull DampC 4630ndash32

983159983144983145983139983144 983145983155 983154983145983143983144983156

ldquoHere the Savior

reminds us that faith

no matter how strong

it is cannot produce

a result contrary to the will of him

whose power it is The exercise of

faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is always

subject to the order of heaven to

the goodness and will and wisdom

and timing of the Lord That is why we cannot have true faith in the

Lord without also having complete

trust in the Lordrsquos will and in the

Lordrsquos timingrdquo

Elder Dallin H Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles ldquo lsquoFaith in the Lord Jesus Christrsquo rdquo

Ensign May 1994 100

983137983148983159983137983161983155 983145983150 983149983161 983150983137983149983141

Praying in Christrsquos name means

more than just ending our prayers

in the name of Jesus Christ The

Bible Dictionary teaches ldquoWe pray

in Christrsquos name when our mind isthe mind of Christ and our wishes

the wishes of Christmdashwhen His

words abide in us (John 157) We

then ask for things it is possible for

God to grant Many prayers remain

unanswered because they are not

in Christrsquos name at all they in no

way represent His mind but spring

out of the selfishness of manrsquos

heartrdquo (ldquoPrayerrdquo)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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By ElderJoseacute L Alonso

Of the Seventy

LINKED PRAYERS COUNSELING WITH THE LORD

ldquoThere may be things in our character in our behavior or concerningour spiritual growth about which we need to counsel with HeavenlyFather in morning prayer After expressing appropriate thanks for

blessings received we plead for understanding direction and helpto do the things we cannot do in our own strength alone

ldquoAt the end of our day we kneel again and report back to our Father We reviewthe events of the day and express heartfelt thanks for the blessings and the helpwe received We repent and with the assistance of the Spirit of the Lord identifyways we can do and become better tomorrow Thus our evening prayer buildsupon and is a continuation of our morning prayer And our evening prayer also is apreparation for meaningful morning prayerrdquo

Elder David A Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles ldquoPray Alwaysrdquo Ensign Nov 2008 41ndash42

14 N e w E r a

When I was 15 I went

to live with my father

while I finished high

school He lived and

worked in another city and had joined

the Church I didnrsquot know he was

a member but I saw that he acted

differently He acted with love and

kindness and was interested in myconcerns and needs

The first night I arrived I was

so hungry We sat down for dinner

and I started to eat but my father

said ldquoWait a minute We need to

prayrdquo I said ldquoWe need to what rdquo I

didnrsquot even know what the word

pray meant My father explained

that he was going to thank God our

Heavenly Father for the food we

had received from Him and then

we could eat My father prayed

and in his prayer he mentioned myname and asked for God to bless

me I felt something wonderful That

was the first time I felt the Spirit so

strongly in my life

My father taught me to pray to

Heavenly Father on my own Later

when the missionaries taught me

about Joseph Smithrsquos prayer I imme-

diately felt that it was possible for the

Lord to answer the prayer of a young

man The missionaries asked me to

read the Book of Mormon and to pray

to know if Jesus is the Christ if JosephSmith was a prophet and if the Book

of Mormon is true

That night I read the story in

3 Nephi 11 of when Jesus visits the

Nephites I was in a private place

so I got down on my knees and I

prayed Even though I was only 15 I

had faith that the Lord would answer

my prayer I received an impression

in my mind as clear as anything Ihad ever seen that Jesus is the Christ

Joseph Smith was a prophet and

the Book of Mormon is true I felt

like Joseph Smith after that prayer

I was so happy to truly know that

Heavenly Father answers prayers

from young people

Irsquod Never PRAYED BEFORE

i983150 Th983137t W983137y

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 1752

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 15

WHAT KEPT ME STRONG

D983137ily P983137yer

As a teenager in an area with-

out a lot of Church members

I found that daily prayer was one

of the most important things that

helped me stay spiritually strong

I made sure to pray every day and

developed a pattern that helped

memdashmorning and evening prayers

When I heard

my father prayfor the rst timel felt something

wonderful

MORNING PRAYERS

Every morning I would share with

the Lord

bull My plans for the day

bull What I wanted to do

bull What I thought the Lord

wanted me to do

I would present my plans to

God and then ask for the Lordrsquos

help in accomplishing them

EVENING PRAYERS

Every evening I would

bull Report on how my day went

and if I had accomplished the

things I had set out to do

bull Share things that had been

difficult for me

bull Share things that I had learned

from people or through the

Spirit that dayThe more I prayed the more

I learned to understand and

receive impressions from the

Holy Ghost These impressions

helped me gain more strength

to follow the direction of the

Lord NE

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 1852

16 N e w E r a

With canteen in hand I was prepared for my

second 50-mile hike and campout in the

Uinta Mountains I was about as well pre-

pared as a 14-year-old could be My equip-

ment was all set to go my boots were sturdy and my pack

was full of all the essentials

The day of the hike arrived and our

leaders reminded our group of young men

that the mountains could be very danger-

ous Hikers and campers were often lost

in the rugged hills and on the numerous

trails We were warned not to wander

away from the path Our leadersmdashmy

father includedmdashall seemed concerned

for our safety and were anxious to keep

us from straying off of our chosen pathBeing one of the stronger hikers and

a leader in the group I soon found myself

and three other boys leading the way

Sometimes we waited for our group at the

forks in the trail to make sure we followed

the correct path and would not become lost

We hiked for hours laughing and joking all the way We

were having a great time Suddenly we heard frantic calls

and the sounds of running We knew something must have

gone wrong We wondered if maybe some of the grouphad become lost I was concerned for the friends Irsquod left

behind with the leaders Something bad must have happened

We stopped to listen so we could hear what the distant

voices were yelling We heard our names More specifically

I heard my name being called I recognized my fatherrsquos

voice We called back and heard their heavy footsteps coming

in our direction

Something bad had happened We learned that

four of the boys in our group had strayed from

the correct path and had become lost It was us

We were the ones who were lost My father was

thankful to have finally found us and together we

began the hike back to the correct trail

In my head I retraced my footsteps I couldnrsquot

figure out how Irsquod become lost I felt like I was

still on the original path Irsquod been so sure We

retraced our steps and my father showed us aturn we had missed It was just a small path with

a little hidden sign marking the correct way

We had hiked two miles off the right trail

We were thankful wersquod been found

before dark For the rest of the hike

we stayed close to our leaders and the rest of the

group and were never in danger again

Sometimes our overconfidence as youth

gives us an unrealistic sense of independence

We push on without consulting our parentsor leaders We fail to ask for advice We feel

By Duncan Anderson

Mile Hike

The

We stoppedto listen so we

could hear whatthe distant voices

were yellingWe heard ournames We

called back andheard their heavyfootsteps comingin our direction

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 17

certain wersquore headed in a direction leading to the right

destination We laugh and joke and enjoy the path until itrsquos

too late too dark and wersquore lost

When it comes to choosing the right trails in life our

Heavenly Father has provided tools to guide us and keep us

on the path that leads to Him We have the scriptures prayer

and revelation our parents guidelines like For the Strength

of Youth and our Church leaders to guide us through the

countless options life offers

When we do stray off the path itrsquos often our loving parents

and dedicated leaders who come to the rescue They can

guide us back to the correct way and show us where we

went wrong Through repentance we can correct those

wrongs and start fresh on the right path headed toward the

destination that will give us eternal happiness and a life in the

presence of our Heavenly Father NE

Duncan Anderson lives in Utah USA

CHOOSING RIGHT PATHS

ldquoI plead with you to make a determi-nation right here right now notto deviate from the path which willlead to our goal eternal life with ourFather in Heaven Along that straight

and true path there are other goals missionaryservice temple marriage Church activity scripturestudy prayer temple work There are countless wor-thy goals to reach as we travel through life Neededis our commitment to reach themrdquo

President Thomas S Monson ldquoThe Three Rs of Choicerdquo

Ensign Nov 2010 68

NEED ADVICE

Is there anything yoursquod like advice on Donrsquot be afraid to ask your

parents or Church leaders Remember they are there to help you

no matter what yoursquod like to talk about

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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One of the things we agree

to do as part of the bap-

tismal covenant is ldquoto

stand as witnesses of

God at all times and in all things and in

all places that [we] may be inrdquo (Mosiah

189) And incidentally we renew this

covenant every week when we partake

of the sacramentIn the April 2014 general conference

several speakers reminded us that there

will be times when standing as a witness

of God will mean having to face oppo-

sition criticism and ridicule So what

should you do when yoursquore required

to take the uncomfortable uncool or

unpopular step of defending your beliefs

By David A Edwards

Church Magazines

Be brave and humble firm and gentle

all at the same time With the Lordrsquos

help itrsquos not as hard as it sounds

18 N e w E r a

of Defe983150di983150983143Your Beliefs

Dorsquos 983137983150d

Donrsquots

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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you should rely on the Spiritto guide your defense of your

faith Bear testimony by the

Spirit Thatrsquos the Lordrsquos way

(See also DampC 1005ndash8)

The point here is not that

you should avoid any discus-

sion in which people have dif-

fering points of view Rather it

has to do with your intent as

well as the emotions involved

We should seek understand-

ing and try to persuade withmeekess not just score points

and prove wersquore right and

someone else is wrong A

discussion where people are

getting really worked up and

angry is one you should either

try to soften or simply avoid

Heavenly Father has given

you the gift of the Holy Ghost

and you should take advan-

tage of this gift This doesnrsquot

mean reason and logic canrsquot

be inspired or confirmed by

the Spirit it just means that

Elder W Craig Zwick of

the Seventy has explained

this scripture this way ldquoA lsquosoft

answerrsquo consists of a reasoned

responsemdashdisciplined words

from a humble heart It does

not mean we never speak

directly or that we compro-

mise doctrinal truth Words

that may be firm in infor-

mation can be soft in spiritrdquo

(ldquoWhat Are You Thinkingrdquo

Ensign May 2014 42)

ldquoA SOFT ANSWER TURNETH AWAY

wr983137thBUT

GRIEVOUS WORDS stir u983152 983137983150983143errdquo

(Proverbs 151)

ldquoBeholdI send you forthas sheep in the

midst of wolves be ye therefore wise as serpents

and h983137r983149less as dovesrdquo

(Matthew 1016)

The Savior doesnrsquot want

you to be ignorant or naiumlve

but He also doesnrsquot want you

to attack anyone Knowing

what goes on in the world

doesnrsquot mean we have to

use its tactics

ldquoCONTEND AGAINST

NO CHURCHrdquo (DampC 1820)

There is no need to

criticize other churches

Positive statements of your

beliefs rather than negative

statements about others will

be most effective As the

Prophet Joseph Smith said

ldquoWe donrsquot ask any people

to throw away any good

they have got we only ask

them to come and get morerdquo

(Teachings of Presidents

of the Church Joseph

Smith [2007] 155)

ldquoAND THOUSHALT DECLARE

983143l983137d tidi983150983143s ldquoAND THOU SHALTDO IT WITH 983137ll hu983149ilityTRUSTING IN ME 983154evili983150983143 983150ot

AGAINST REVILERSrdquo

(DampC 1929ndash30)

The tidings you declare

are glad Remember that

and make sure your face and

your voice show it too Also

the word revile here means

to hurl abusive or insulting

language at a person So if

ldquoFOR I AM

NOT ASHAMED

OF THE GOSPEL OF CHRISTrdquo

(Romans 116)

As President Thomas S

Monson has said ldquoWe will all

face fear experience ridiculeand meet opposition Let

usmdashall of usmdashhave the courage

to defy the consensus the

courage to stand for prin-

ciple Courage not com-

promise brings the smile of

Godrsquos approvalrdquo (ldquoBe Strong

and of a Good Couragerdquo

Ensign May 2014 69)

The scriptures give you some basic principles for standing up for your faith including the following

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 19

ldquoWe s983152e983137k

NOT IN THE WORDS which 983149983137983150rsquos

WISDOM TEACH ETH

but which THE HOLY GHOST

TEACHETHrdquo

(1 Corinthians 213)

ldquoHE THATHATH THE

SPIRIT OF CONTENTIONIS NOT OF ME

BUT ISOF THE DEVIL

WHO IS THE FATHER OFCONTENTION AND

HE STIRRETH UPTHE HEARTS

OF MEN

TO CONTEND WITH ANGER

ONE WITH ANOTHERrdquo(3 Nephi 1129)

HERErsquoS SOME ADVICE FROM THE SCRIPTURES

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2252

How Do You Defend Do you have experi-ence in defending yourbeliefs Or do you haveideas to add to theselists Go to ldsorggodefendNE8 and share

Finding Courage

Read more on this topic atldsorggocourageNE8

someonersquos doing that to you

donrsquot retaliate and do the

same thing back to them The

Apostle Peter taught that the

Savior Himself gave the exam-

ple you should follow in thisregard (see 1 Peter 223)

ldquoLOVE YOUR ENEMIESbless them

that curse you

DO GOOD TO T HEMTHAT HATE YOU

and pray for

them which

DESPITEFULLY USE YOUAND PERSECUTE YOUrdquo

(Matthew 544)ldquoSEE THAT YE ARE NOT lifted u983152 u983150to

983152ride ye983137 SEE THAT YE DO

NOT BOAST IN YOUR

OWN WISDOM

983150or of your 983149uch stre983150983143thldquoUSE BOLDNESS

BUT NOT

OVERBEARANCErdquo (Alma 3811ndash12)

Here the word tenets

refers to opinions or teachings

that go beyond the basics So

the Lord is saying to stick to

the basic message of the gos-

pel when yoursquore declaring Hisglad tidings This also applies

to defending your faith

You donrsquot need to stray into

detailed discussions about

every little thing related to the

Church As Elder Richard G

Scott of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles has said

ldquoKeep your sharing of the

gospel simple rdquo (ldquo lsquoI HaveGiven You an Examplerdquo

Ensign May 2014 34)

ldquoEveryone independent

of his or her decisions and

beliefs deserves our kind-

ness and considerationrdquo said

Elder Neil L Andersen of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles ldquoThe Savior

taught us to love not only

our friends but also those

who disagree with usmdashand

even those who repudiate

usrdquo (ldquoSpiritual Whirlwindsrdquo

Ensign May 2014 20)

Again be humble Itrsquos not

about you or how smart and

capable you are Also you can

be bold without making over-

blown statements or being

a verbal or intellectual bully

As Elder Jeffrey R Holland

of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoYou willone day find yourself called

upon to defend your faith

Such moments will require

both courage and courtesy

on your partrdquo (ldquoThe Costmdashand

Blessingsmdashof Discipleshiprdquo

Ensign May 2014 6)

ldquoA983150d of te983150ets thou sh983137lt 983150ot t983137lk but thou shalt

declare repentance andfaith on the Savior and 983154e983149issio983150 of si983150sby baptism and by fire

yea even the Holy Ghostrdquo(DampC 1931)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2452

22 N e w E r a

I received my first two-wheel bicycle

when I was eight years old With

the help of my older brother and

father I began the rather scary pro-

cess of figuring out how to ride it The other kids in the neighborhood

made it look so easy and natural as

they zoomed up and down the street

on their bikes I perched on the bike

seatmdashwhich seemed to be at least

10 feet (3 m) above the groundmdashand

realized there was absolutely noth-

ing to keep me from falling over and

proving that the law of gravity was

alive and well As I tried riding I learned quickly

that if I wanted to stay balanced I had

to keep pedaling When I first sat on

the seat speed was the last thing I

wanted to add to the already daunting

equation But I very soon understood

the wisdom and the physics involved

in moving forward As long as I kept

pedaling I could stay upright and

avoid the rough concrete just waiting

to take the skin off my arms and legs

Soon I was zipping around the neigh-

borhood with my friends

Defy Gr983137vity Defy Gr983137vity

of the First Presidency as outlined

in that booklet our lives will be bal-

anced and steady We will be led

where we want to go

We need to keep moving forwardto avoid falling To do that we should

consistently and faithfully do certain

actions

bull Pray morning and night

bull Study the scriptures daily

bull Attend Church meetings and par-

take of the sacrament worthily

bull Serve those around us

bull Be worthy to attend the temple

All of these actions keep us moving

forward in the right direction

Thatrsquos why reading and being famil-

iar with the standards described in For

the Strength of Youth will help ensure

we are making choices consistent with

Godrsquos standards Living these princi-

ples and keeping the commandments

F O R T H E S T R E N G T H O F Y O U T H

By Bonnie LOscarson

Young WomenGeneral President

As you keep moving forward you can stay upright even

when outside forces try to pull you down

Just as those who keep

pedaling a bike can stay

upright despite gravityrsquos

influence those who are

guided by the Holy Spirit in

all they do can withstand

the influence of theadversary

So it is with living the gospel and

the standards in For the Strength of

Youth It takes faith to believe that if

we consistently follow the counsel

GO FORWARD WITH FAITH

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 23

invite the Holy Ghost to be our con-

stant companion Just as those who

keep pedaling a bike can stay upright

despite gravityrsquos influence those who

are guided by the Holy Spirit in allthey do can withstand the influence of

the adversary

What are the destinations you have

in mind as you pedal forward For all

young men of the Aaronic Priesthood

preparing now for a full-time mission

is important in forward growth For

all youth being prepared to go to the

temple and receive the endowment by

making and keeping sacred covenantsshould also be a primary goal

As the message from the First

Presidency at the beginning of For the

Strength of Youth says ldquoIn all that you

do stay focused on the temple In the

temple you will receive the greatest

of all the Lordrsquos blessings including

marriage for time and all eternityrdquo1

Receiving the covenant of eternal

marriage in the house of the Lord and

becoming righteous husbands wives

fathers and mothers may seem far

down the road but the time to beginpreparing is now All of these things

lead to the most glorious and grand

destination of allmdasheternal life with

our Heavenly Father

One of my favorite scriptures

sums up what we need to do in order

to keep moving toward our goals

ldquoWherefore ye must press forward

with a steadfastness in Christ hav-

ing a perfect brightness of hopeand a love of God and of all men

Wherefore if ye shall press forward

feasting upon the word of Christ and

endure to the end behold thus saith

the Father Ye shall have eternal liferdquo

(2 Nephi 3120)

Just as I learned as an eight-year-

old girl that I needed to keep pedaling

and moving forward in order to defy

gravity and keep my balance on my

bicycle it is important for all of us to

keep moving forward with faith trust-

ing in the counsel of living prophetsand a loving Heavenly Father to keep

us from falling Some of our destina-

tions are just down the road while

others will take a lifetime of faithful

living to achieve The promises of

what lies at the end of the road if we

are faithful are certain and glorious

and well worth the ride NE

NOTE

1 For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

Learn MoreSee whatrsquos next in your covenant path

at ldsorggocovenantNE8

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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24 N e w E r a

BOA R D

GA M E S

B y Da vid Chris tensen

My chance to play le f t

a lasting impact but it

wasnrsquot what Irsquod e xpected

L o s i n

g s o

q u i c k

l y w

a s b

a d e

n o u

g h

b

u t t o

m a k

e m

a t t e r s

w o r s e

t h

e o t h

e r g

u y

s s t a r t e

d t o

m a k

e

f u n

o f

m e

I

t r i e d

t o c o

n t i n

u e

p l a y i n g

e v e

n t h

o u

g h

t h e y

w e r

e b

e i n

g m

e a n

b

u t i t

w a s h

a r d t o h o

l d b

a c k m y t e

a r s

o f f r u s t

r a t i o n

U

n f o

r t u n a t e l y

o n e t e

a r t r i c k l e

d d

o w

n m y

c h e e

k b

e f o

r e I

c o u

l d w i p

e i t

a w a y M

y b

r o t h

e r

s a w i t

a n d

t e a s e

d m

e t o

o

I c o

u l d

n rsquo t

t a k e i t

a n y

m o r e

a n d

r a n t o

m y

r o o m

I g a v e m y s e l

f a q u i c k p i n

c h

t o m a k e s u r

e I w a s n rsquo

t d r e a m i n g

a n d t h e

n I v o i c e d

a t i m i d ldquo Y e

a h

s u r e rdquo I s t

i l l c o u l d

n rsquo t b e l i e

v e t h a t

m y b r o t h e

r h a d i n v

i t e d m e t o

p l a y a g a m e w i t h

t h e ldquo b i g k i

d s rdquo

A f t e r a l l

I rsquo d b e e n t o l d f o r t h

r e e

y e a r s t h a

t I w a s s t i l l

t o o y o u

n g

t o p l a y m o r e d i f fi

c u l t b o a

r d

g a m e s w i t h m y b r o

t h e r a n d

h i s f r i e n d s

A N D B R O

T H

E R S

I

felt the hot tears of anger slowly slide

down my face I wiped them away with

my hand but I could still feel the

slightly salty taste on my lips assobs of anguish began to pour out

I just wanted to hang out with my

brother Why couldnrsquot he be my

friend too

J u s t a f e w

h o u r s

b e f o

r e I h a d

s t a r e d a t

m y o

l d e r b

r o t h

e r S t e v e

i n c o

m p

l e t e s u r p

r i s e

w a i t i n

g f o r h

i m t o

t e

l l

m e t h

a t h e w

a s o n

l y

j o k i n g ldquo W

e l l d o y o

u

w a n

t t o p

l a y rdquo S t e v e

a s k e d i m p

a

t i e n t l y

I w

e n t i n t o t h e

r o o m w h

e r e t h e

o l d e r b o y s

w e r e

s e t t i n g u p

t h e b o a r d

g a m e A s t h e

g a m e s t a r t e d

w i t h

e v e r y o n e s t r a t e g i c a l l y

p l a c i n g

t h e i r g a m

e

p i e c e s

I f e l t l i k e

I w

a s d r e a

m i n g F o r

t h e fi r s t t i m

e

I f e l t e q u a l t o

m y b r o t h e r mdash

n o t l i k e I

w a s j u s t h i s

t a g a l o n g

T h e d r e a m

e n d e d q u i c k

l y h o w e v e r

T h e

g a m e w

a s t o u g h

a n d m y i n

e x p e r i e n c e

a n d l a c k

o f k n o w l e d g e

b e c

a m e

p a i n f u l l y o b v i o u s

a s t h e o t

h e r

p l a y e r s q u i c k l y

a n d

s o u n d l y d e f e a t e d

m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2752

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2852

26 N e w E r a

Le983137r983150i983150983143 the i983150s 983137983150d outs of d983137ti983150983143 c983137983150 be h983137rd Let this course tur983150 you

i983150to 983137 d983137ti983150983143 983152ro

By Matthew ORichardson

Served as Second

Counselor in theSunday SchoolGeneral Presidencyfrom 2009 to 2014

hile speaking to youth about how to prepare for a celestial marriage

President Thomas S Monson emphasized that ldquoproper dating is a part

of preparation for marriagerdquo 1 Have you thought much about happy

relationships Elder Russell M Nelson of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said a ldquocelestial marriage brings greater possibilities for happiness than

does any other relationshiprdquo2

When I was serving as bishop in a young single adult ward I worried about those

who approached dating with very little purpose understanding or direction This

caused me to wonder if my own children would be any different when their time came

My wife and I decided to help our children prepare for ldquoproper datingrdquo and happy rela-tionships by creating the Richardson Dating Academy or RDA as our children call it

It wasnrsquot long after we started the RDA that friends of our children wanted to partici-

pate and even become RDA graduates So how about you Are you ready to become a

dating academy graduate yourself Class is in session

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2952

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 27

Lesso983150 1 ur983152oses 983137983150d St983137983150d983137rds of D983137ti983150983143

Lesso983150 2 W983137tch 983137983150d Le983137r983150

Homework

As you know ldquodatingrdquo means different things to differ-

ent people Your first assignment is to figure out just what

a ldquodaterdquo is according to Church standards Can you explain

the purposes of dating and the specific dating standards and

guidelines set by the Church Or do you know when itrsquosmost appropriate to be involved in dating and steady dating

(having a boyfriend or girlfriend)

You can find answers to these questions in the ldquoDatingrdquo

section of For the Strength of Youth The First Presidency

reminds us why knowing and understanding these stan-

dards are so important They promise ldquoThe standards in this

Elder Jeffrey R Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles once explained that most athletic contests have ldquolines

drawn on the floor or the field within which every participant

must stay in order to competerdquo3 Success depends on how

well a competitor knows and stays within the set boundaries

Likewise itrsquos important to know the ldquodating linesrdquo or the pur-

poses and standards of dating as taught by Church leaders

One of the most com-

mon ways people learn

is by watching others

Dating is no different

In the dating academy

we spend time observ-

ing others in dating

situations In our family

we learned many point-ersmdashsome to do others

to avoidmdashby watching

dates in progress at

restaurants and other

settings Yes we went to

certain places with the

sole purpose to observe

dates for ldquoclassrdquo

booklet will help you with the important choices you are

making now and will yet make in the futurerdquo4

Now that you have a solid foundation of the stan-

dards and purposes of dating (you did do your home-

work and read that section didnrsquot you) itrsquos time to move

on to lesson 2

Tips

Here are some suggestions that will help you learn

as you observe

bull Watch but donrsquot be creepy This is about learning from

others but not stalking staring or even judging Look for

things you like and things you would like to avoid

bull Go to a variety of places and settings to observe others

Not every date is the same nor should it be Watch how thesetting affects the experience

bull Watch how people interact with each other Can you tell

who is with whom Are they paying attention to each

other In what ways Are they talking with each other Do

they look like they enjoy being with each other How can

you tell if they are having fun

bull Talk with a parent leader or good friends and share what

you noticed and what you learned

Homework

The next time you go

out to eat attend a movie

or go to almost any activ-

ity make an effort to look

around and see how other

people are interacting It

may surprise you to see

how much dating is actu-ally going on Take the

time to learn from those

around you by paying

attention to whatrsquos work-

ing and what isnrsquot

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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28 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 3 l983137983150983150i983150983143 983137 D983137te

Tips

bull Start planning early

bull Donrsquot be afraid to bounce ideas off your friendsparents and others They can provide excellent

suggestions that you havenrsquot even thought about

bull Make sure you let your budget amount of time

available the reasons for dating and Church stan-

dards guide your planning

bull Think of what you hope will happen during the

date from beginning to end This helps you realize

what needs to be done to make the date a success

bull Pay attention to details Call ahead for event times

prices menus and what the proper dress is for

the occasion

bull Plan for emergencies For example what will you

do if you donrsquot have enough money or have car

trouble What if your date gets sick

Homework

Rather than leaving everything to chance dating acad-

emy grads understand what needs to happen and theyplan accordingly

Your homework assignment even if yoursquore years away

from dating is to practice planning an event You can

brainstorm with friends really fun ideas for a date Then

work together to think of what planning is required to

make those ideas actually happen Or you can ask your

parents to let you plan the next family outing

You might choose a place to eat or what to do Plan all

the details (event times travel time cost backup plans)

and then put your plan into action You could evencome up with a dating plan complete with backup ideas

if something goes wrong and share it in family home

evening while talking together around the dinner table

or with friends You may find that properly planning an

activity is almost as much fun as the actual date

The quality of experience yoursquoll have with others is

often determined by what happens before a date begins

Showing up on your datersquos doorstep with no plan is a

recipe for an awkward experience Nobody likes playing

the ldquoWhat do you want to dordquo game

Yoursquore better than that With a little practice you can

become a date-planning champion And young women

no fair skipping this section While most of the time young

men plan and ask for dates yoursquoll still want to have these

skills down for when itrsquos your turn

Group Date IdeasNeed ideas Check out ldsorggoideasNE8 Some

of the youth activities there could be adapted for dates

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Homework

In the Richardson Dating Academy all of our

children practiced dating invitations For example

our children might call an aunt older sibling or other

family member to practice inviting someone on a

date Or our son or daughter would receive an invita-

tion from a family member and practice responding

They learned how to deal with rejection acceptance

or even a disinterested response or two

Now itrsquos your turn Working with your parents ask

them to line up somebody in your family you can call

and practice inviting on a date Make sure you do this

more than once

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 29

You know your dating standards front and back

yoursquove watched others in dating situations and

yoursquove come up with a solid date plan

Congratulations Now you still need to invite

someone Or you need to know how to respond

when you are invited So whatrsquos the best way A

phone call Ask in person Here are some different

points to consider

Lesso983150 4 I983150viti983150983143 Others 983137983150d Bei983150983143 I983150vited

Tips

bull Be ready to give details when you invite

someone on a date Talk about what you have

planned start and end times whorsquos participat-ing and how they should dress (casual dressy

etc) Your excellent planning from academy

lesson 3 makes this part of the academy easy

bull Therersquos a time to talk by phone and a time to

ask face-to-face The more important the event

is the more personal the invitation should be

Donrsquot be afraid to skip technology and actually

talk with someone

bull Some events may require you to speak with

your datersquos parents first This shows respectand courtesy

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30 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 5 O983150 the D983137te

It would be impossible for any dating academy to cover

every little thing to consider or plan for in dating So much

depends on good judgment communication with your par-

ents and listening to the Spirit

Still here are a few key points you might want to brush

up on before putting your date plan into action

Tips

bull Develop a ldquoyou firstrdquo attitude This means you always

think of your date first Is he or she having fun Is he or

she comfortable

bull Make sure you dress appropriately for the occasion

The way you dress usually communicates how you feelabout others and about the event Know the difference

between casual (but never sloppy) semiformal and

formal and when it would be appropriate to dress in

those ways

bull Show common courtesy by opening doors saying

thank you talking less about yourself and more about

your date and extending sincere compliments

bull Learn how to navigate restaurants Know how to make

a reservation get a table calculate a service tip and

pay the bill

Homework

Once again the best way to learn any good skill is by practic-

ing it Our youth enjoyed role-playing different situations

to think about how to act most appropriately We

also loved going out to eat as part of the dating acad-

emy experience Our children learned how to act in

a restaurant order a meal calculate the tip and paythe bill by actually doing it when they were with us

Look for opportunities to practice skills you should use on a

date For example the next time you and your family go some-

where ask your parents to let you purchase the tickets order

the meal or calculate the tip Treat your family or friends with

the same respect and courtesy that you should show others on a

date Open doors for your family be the first to say ldquothank yourdquo

and pay attention so you are part of the conversation

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 31

Lesso983150 6 The Doorste983152

NOTES

1 Thomas S Monson ldquoPreparation BringsBlessingsrdquo Ensign May 2010 64

2 Russell M Nelson ldquoCelestial Marriagerdquo Ensign Nov 2008 93

3 Jeffrey R Holland ldquoWe Are All Enlistedrdquo Ensign Nov 2011 45

4 ldquoMessage to the Youth from The First Presi-dencyrdquo For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

5 John Bytheway ldquoWhat Do Kisses Meanrdquo New Era Oct 2004 38ndash41

Last but not least dating

academy graduates know how

to conclude a date on the right

note Nothing sours a great date

more than a bad ending

Herersquos how you can finish a

date with success

Tips

bull Express gratitude Be sincere

and to the point If there was something you especially

liked tell your date what

it was

bull Therersquos no reason for drag-

ging things on at this point

Yoursquove already spent plenty

of time together Avoid the

ldquodoorstep shufflerdquo When

people arenrsquot sure what to

say they tend to shuffle backand forth or move their feet

in place If you find yourself

ldquoshufflingrdquo in place itrsquos a

pretty good signal that you

need to say good-bye

bull Know and follow the

Churchrsquos counsel on kissing

and physical intimacy (You

might also want to read John

Bythewayrsquos article ldquoWhat Do

Kisses Meanrdquo5 at ldsorggo

kissesNE8)

Homework

Yes herersquos another opportunity for practicing Our family has spent several family

home evenings role-playing doorstep good-byes Itrsquos been both helpful and fun to

watch an older sibling coach the younger sibling with dorsquos and donrsquots

Most memorable was an older sister showing how she could turn a hug into a

handshake with the grace of a princess and the speed of a ninja You too can get

together with family members and role-play different scenarios that might happen on

a doorstep We guarantee itrsquoll be an academy night yoursquoll all remember

Gr983137du983137tio983150

If yoursquove studied all the

material worked on the tips done

the homework and talked through

the lessons with your parents and

family you too can become a

dating academy graduate

As you continue strengthening

these important skills yoursquoll find

support strength and power that

will bless your relationships both

now and in the future You will be

better prepared for happiness NE

Do Try This at HomeInterested in having a dating academy at

home Let your parents know therersquos an RDAarticle for them in this monthrsquos Ensign or atldsorggoRDA

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32 N e w E r a

S U N DA Y L E S S

O N S

This Monthrsquos Topic

Ma r r iage a nd

Fa m i l y

MARRIAGE IS WORTH ITldquoIt is so rewarding to bemarried Marriage is wonder-ful In time you begin to thinkalike and have the same ideasand impressions You havetimes when you are extremelyhappy times of testing andtimes of trial but the Lordguides you through all ofthose growth experiencestogetherrdquo

Elder Richard G Scott of the

Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo

Ensign May 2011 96

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 33

We love being marr ied and he

rersquos why

By Ben and Rachel Nielsen

Letrsquos face it girls (and boys) itrsquos nice to know that someone loves you

And when yoursquore married you have chances to share and receive love every

day When I was talking to my parents about the possibility of marrying

Ben my dad said ldquoWhomever you choose to marry I want him to fre-

quently and sincerely express his love for you like Elder Richard G Scott did

for his wiferdquo3 I listened to Dad

I decided to marry Ben and he has always made an effort to express

his love to me in small and big ways During my senior year of college I

worked for months to prepare apply and interview for a prestigious intern-ship And when I finally heard that I got the job I came home and saw a

vase full of flowers from my husband He knew how hard I had worked and

how much the internship meant to me At other times hersquoll hide my favorite

drink and a love note in the fridge before he heads out for a weekend Scout

camp And every day hersquoll do the dishes and make me laugh Ben is great at

expressing his love for me and that brings both of us great joy

During my mission in Brazil I grew to love soccer One thing that I lovemost about this sport is having teammates and learning how to work together

with my team Rachel is a fantastic teammate She helps me achieve my

goals joins me in making important decisions and is there for me when I

have trouble

When we were sealed in the temple we promised to ldquohelp one another as

equal partnersrdquo2 Rachel and I strive to support each other in everything we

do and itrsquos great to know that I always have a reliable teammate

After our first date we both

knew we wanted to go

on a second date Ben

wanted to go on

another date because Rachel was

friendly and fun to talk to Rachel

wanted to go on another date

because Ben was a gentleman

and was still smiling after all of

his well-laid plans fell through

After the second date plus manymore dates and prayers after

that we fell in love and decided

to get married in the Sacramento

California Temple

The wedding day was abso-

lutely perfect and we have loved

being married ever since The

world may see marriage differ-

ently but we know that ldquono other

relationship of any kind canbring as much joy generate as

much good or produce as much

personal refinementrdquo1 Marriage

is awesome and herersquos why

FROM BEN A T e a m m a t e

FROM RACHEL

E x p r e s s i o n s o f L o v e

WHY MARRIAGE IS

A w e s o m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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34 N e w E r a

JOIN THE CONVERSATION

Things to Ponder for Sunday

bull What qualities and attitudes make for the strongest

and happiest marriages and families

bull What are you doing now that will help your future

marriage and family stay strong and happy

Things You Might Do

bull Share with some friends your goal of marrying and

having a family and tell them why

bull In church share why you are looking forward

to marriage and family and how you are pre-

paring for them

serving in the Church and inviting others to come unto

Christ As we work together to build the kingdom of God

we grow closer our love deepens and life is more fulfilling

Dating Rachel is so much fun In fact we make surethat we still frequently go on dates even as a married

couple After we first met we found that we enjoy many

of the same activities walking through parks attending

plays watching sporting events eating new and different

food listening to music and so much more I loved doing

these things before I met Rachel but theyrsquore even more

fun now that we get to share them together When yoursquore

married you have someone to enjoy life withmdashand that

makes life awesome

Before I met Ben I was nearing the age of missionary

service and had seriously considered serving a full-time

mission But then Ben entered my life and I knew that

Heavenly Father had a different plan for me

When Ben and I got engaged relatives who knew

about my thoughts to serve a mission asked me about my

choice and I would tell them ldquoI decided that I wanted topick my own missionary companionmdashand stay with him

for eternityrdquo

When yoursquore married you and your spouse have the

chance to participate in the work of salvation together

Ben and I have found great joy in building a Christ-

centered home studying and living the gospel together

Despite what the world may say marriage is awesome

and is worth making a priority When yoursquore married you

have a teammate you give and receive love you enjoy life

more fully and you have someone to build the kingdom

of God with All of that brings us great joy and because

we were sealed in the temple we can have this joy forever

If we keep our covenants we will be together for eternityand receive the crowning blessings of the priesthood We

ldquohave found in marriage the richest fulfillment of human

existencerdquo 4 NE

Ben and Rachel Nielsen live in Utah USA

NOTES

1 L Whitney Clayton ldquoMarriage Watch and Learnrdquo Ensign May 2013 83 2 ldquoThe Family A Proclamation to the Worldrdquo Ensign Nov 2010 129 3 See Richard G Scott ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo Ensign May

2011 96 4 James E Faust ldquoEnriching Your Marriagerdquo Ensign Apr 2007 6

FROM BEN M o r e E n jo y m e n t

FROM RACHEL A n E t e r n a l M is s i o n a r y C o m p a n io n

TAKE IT FROM US

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Your family can help unite the family of GodYou can all share the gospel in natural and pleasant ways

P H O T O I L L U S T R A T I O N B Y D A V I D S T O K E R

M O R M O N A D

(See M Russell Ballard ldquoPut Your Trust in the Lordrdquo Ensign Nov 2013 43)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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36 N e w E r a

By Alex Larsen

I always knew I wanted to be a mother but when I was grow-

ing up it wasnrsquot always on my mind When my fianceacute and I

were engaged one day I was talking with one of my college

professorsmdasha woman I greatly admiredmdashabout my engage-

ment She said something that brought my life choices into sharp

focus ldquoYou are wasting your talentrdquo she told me as she shook

her head She went on to say that someone as smart as I was

should not get married young She assumed I would have chil-

dren in my future and would be ldquothrowing awayrdquo my education

and chances of a stellar career on my future motherhood I could

tell by the way she looked at me that she thought I was making

a terrible and naiumlve mistake

Itrsquos been several years since that conversation and my hus-

band and I have two little girls Kate is three years old and is

my little sweetheart She moves through life at a leisurely pace

savoring all of the little details she notices Annabel is one yearold with bright blue eyes and a head of curls Shersquos exuberant

and determined Though I didnrsquot change my mind because of

what my professor said our discussion has stayed with me In

one way my professorrsquos predictions were correct I do not have

a prestigious working career But my professor got the most

important point wrong because I have wasted nothing

g i v i n

g u p e v e r y

t hi n g

but wh a t

I

g a i n ed

w as w o r t h so much m o r e

T h e wor l d t o l d me

I w ould

b e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 37

their spirits growing and developing I remember

the first time Kate pointed to a picture of the Savior and

said ldquoJesusrdquo I knew then that what I was doing was eter-

nally significant in the lives of my children

The world often tells us that lifersquos rewards come in

the form of status money or grand accomplishments

but I know therersquos great satisfaction even in the small

acts of changing diapers or wiping sticky fingers Every

little thing I do as a mother is part of helping to build the

kingdom of God by nurturing His children I always knew

I wanted children but it was not until I held my first baby

in my arms that I began to realize how much my heart

was capable of loving

The love I have for my daughters has helped me bet-

ter understand how much my Heavenly Father loves all

of His children When speaking of little children Jesustaught that ldquoof such is the kingdom of heavenrdquo (Matthew

1914) More than anything motherhood has helped me

to grow as a daughter of God because now I know what

a daughter of God looks like from the eyes of a parent

The world makes us think that a woman loses herself in

motherhoodmdashshe loses her body her free time and her

career But I have found myself in motherhood I feel

more beautiful and more valuable than ever before NE

Alex Larsen lives in California USA

I love the opportunity to stay home and care for my

young children because these are the most formative

years of their lives I have the opportunity to create a rich

home environment for my girls by reading and discussing

things with them as part of our everyday life Kate will

often astound me by remembering and commenting on

something wersquod read in a book several weeks before and

Annabel learns a new skill almost every day But as fun

and important as it is to watch them learn new

information and skills I feel the

most satisfied when I see

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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38 N e w E r a

One o f t h e g r e a t e s t ad v enture s o f y o u r l i f e w i l l b e y our rol e a n d c a l l i n g a s a f a t her

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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ROcksROcksROcks

NOTE

1 See Thomas S Monson ldquoWelcome to Conferencerdquo Ensign Nov 2012 4ndash5

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 39

DA D D A DD AD

By Chris Deaver

W

hen I was younger I loved spending time

with my dad He always knew the bestgames to play the best stories to tell at night

and the most interesting sports to try It was

like he was born to be a great dad

Fast-forward my life to when I married my sweetheart

Julia and then even further to the moment that our first

child Daniel was born I was filled with a rush of emo-

tions I was happy shocked amazed and a little scared

I felt totally inadequate to be a father and to have the

responsibility of teaching and being an example to my son

But I quickly realized that Irsquod been preparing all my life tobe a dad When I held my son in my arms for the first time

and looked down into his face I felt the Spirit touch my

heart and I realized that I was ready to try to be a great

dad just like my own dad was to me

When Daniel was very young he already had a great

sense of humor He learned to tell hilarious jokes that

would make my wife and me laugh He also often said

things that inspired us Shortly after hearing President

Thomas S Monson announce the change in age require-

ments for young men and young women preparingto serve missions1 we were driving in the car Daniel

announced that he would start preparing himself right

then at age six so he would have 12 years of preparation

Then he said with a smile ldquoDad can I change the song

from lsquoI Hope They Call Me on a Missionrsquo to lsquoI AM Going on

a Missionrsquordquo It was awesome

WHYbeing a

Three years after Daniel was born he was followed by his

brother Austin For me as a dad itrsquos been great to watch bothboys become best friends And Austin has been just as fun

as Daniel in his own way He enjoys building and destroying

block towers and one of his favorite activities is to fearlessly

wrestle me as if I stand no chance against his four-year-old

powers Of course I give in and let him winmdashso I guess I

reinforce his belief But itrsquos so much fun I know hersquoll be a

great wrestler but what I want most is for him to wrestle

ldquoagainst the rulers of the darkness of this worldrdquo and ldquoagainst

spiritual wickednessrdquo like it says in the scriptures (Ephesians

612) And I hope Irsquom helping to prepare him to do that We just recently had our third child a baby girl named

Faith During the delivery my wife was having some com-

plications and we were scared for our baby I gave Julia

a blessing Then she asked me to sing to her The Spirit

brought peace to both of us Soon baby Faith came safely

into the world It was a miracle and she definitely lived up

to her name Faithrsquos beautiful smile brightens my life I canrsquot

express in words how much she means to me

For any young man still wondering let me tell you You

were born to be a great dad The world may not agree butfatherhood is the best Someday yoursquoll find that your kids

inspire you too and that being a dad is the greatest adven-

ture of your life Yes itrsquos a duty and something you need to

take seriously but being a dad is unlike anything else NE

Chris Deaver lives in Florida USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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40 N e w E r a

We always seem to be encouraged to read more

because well everyone knows that reading is a

good thing But not all books are worth reading and just

because sexual material is written about rather than pho-

tographed or video recorded doesnrsquot mean that itrsquos less

morally hazardous Making a common display of a sacred

intimacy thatrsquos intended to only be part of a marriage rela-

tionship is wrongmdashwhether in words or imagesIf something yoursquore reading contains explicit sexual

descriptions that imprint themselves on your mind and

arouse sexual feelings in the same way that looking at

pornographic images would then guess what Itrsquos pornog-

raphy Remember the counsel in For the Strength of Youth

ldquoChoose wisely when using media because whatever you

read listen to or look at has an effect on you Select only

media that uplifts yourdquo ([2011] 11) NE

T O T H E P O I N T

President Boyd K

Packer President of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoEach

of us must come to ourown personal testimony

of the Lord Jesus Christ

We then share that testi-

mony with our family and

othersrdquo1 It can sometimes

be easy to question the

depth of your testimony

I know looking at pornographic

pictures is wrong but whatabout reading books with

ldquoromanticrdquo scenes

If I donrsquot have a burning

desire to share thegospel does that mean I

donrsquot have a testimony

when you compare your-

self to people like Brigham

Young who once said ldquoI

wanted to thunder and

roar out the gospel to thenations It burned in my

bones like fire pent uprdquo2

So what if you donrsquot feel

fire in your bones

Hopefully your lack of

desire doesnrsquot come from

a lack of concern for your

fellowmen As your faith in

Jesus Christ grows so does

your love of all people a

love that is a mark of the

true followers of Christ (see

Moroni 748 John 1335)

Itrsquos likely however

that your hesitancy sim-

ply comes from fear and

anxiety about speaking toothers For many people

such feelings can be over-

whelming Even prophets

have had doubts about their

ability to speak to people

(see Exodus 410 Moses

631) They of course

had no reason to question

their testimoniesmdashand

neither should you if you

are studying the scriptures

pondering praying fasting

repenting and doing all the

other things that help bring

the Spirit into your life

If you feel you just

need a little extra cour-age to share the gos-

pel visit ldsorggo

shareNE8 for ideas NE

NOTES

1 Boyd K Packer ldquoThe Witnessrdquo Ensign May 2014 96

2 Teachings of Presidents ofthe Church Brigham Young (1997) viii

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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C O M E F O L L O W M E

Family

983152983137tter983150 of

President Boyd K PackerPresident of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

April 2014 general conference

The ultimate end

of all activity in

the Church is that

a man and his wife

and their childrencan be happy

at home

The FamilyYoursquoll be studying about the family in your Sunday classes

this month As you study and discuss family you may pon-der these questions Why do Church leaders emphasize

family so much What is the place of family in Heavenly

Fatherrsquos plan How does family help make us happy

To find some answers to these questions see the

family proclamation near the back of your Personal

Progress or Duty to God booklet or online at ldsorg

gofamilyNE8 Yoursquoll also find teachings about

family relationships in general conference talks at

conferenceldsorg

Give yourself an easy reminder to prepare for your

Sunday lessons on the family Just place these cards

in your scriptures locker or bedroom You can also

download or share them online at ldsorggocardsNE8 B A C K G R O U N D T E X T U R E

B Y I S T O C K P H O T O T H I N K S T O C K

We 983150eed We 983150eed

MOR E

983155tre983150983143the983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

RELATIONSHIPS

983153u983137lity 983153u983137lity TIME amp EFFORT INTO

TO PUT

983155re983150983143te983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4452

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4552

T H E E X T R A S M I L E

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 43

I dont like to pack so I rsquo m just wearing all my stuff

JON CLARK

W h a t m a k e s y o

u t h i n k

D a d rsquo s t a l k i n g t o

t h e

p r o p h e t

B ecaus e h e s ai d h e w as on a conf er ence cal l

RYAN STOKER

F r o m n o w o n j u s t t a k e

a p i c t u r e o f t h e t o o t h a n

d

u p l o a d i t t o m y F a c e b o o k

p a g e

a n d t h e n I rsquo l l s e n d y o u t h e

m o n e y t h r o u g h P a y P a l

RANDY GLASBERGEN

[Gasp] He he made h is bed this morning

And I didnrsquo t even ask

VAL CHADWICK BAGLEY

Who says there arenrsquo t modern m iracles

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4652

44 N e w E r a

ldquoMymom works

Since you donrsquot see your mom often make sure that

the time you do have together is used well You

could talk to your mom about how to do this She

wants a good relationship with you too and will

help you work on it Try asking her what she would

appreciate coming home to a clean house doing an activity

together just talking with you As you regularly do activities your mom appreciates your relationship will improve

Of course you could plan some fun activities to do together

but any meaningful time togethermdashsuch as washing the dishes

or reading the scripturesmdashcan be a great way to build your

relationship

Also plan time for communication Understanding one

another is a key ingredient in good relationships One thing

to discuss is how your momrsquos work schedule will affect your

relationship with her You can avoid misunderstandings if you

talk about your expectations as well as your momrsquosPrayer will help Families are important to Heavenly Father

so He can inspire you to know how to improve your relation-

ship with your mom Donrsquot ignore a prompting to do something

that seems small (see Alma 376) A hug and a smile for exam-

ple can make a big difference NE

Write a Note

Even if you have very

little time together you

can still express your

love to your mother

Write her thoughtful secret notes As

she reads them at work she will think

of you Do as much as you can for

her Think about her more often and

pray for her Ask the Lord to inspire

you and prompt you regarding how

you can improve your relationship Irinka E 20 Odessa Ukraine

Seek to Understand Her

Try to understand her situation

because she works for your benefit

You can begin by helping with things

at home like cleaning the house

helping your siblings and cooking

You also can share scriptures with

your mom pray together and doactivities that you like to do together

Morony M 18 Chihuahua Mexico

Have a Special Sunday

On some Sundays we

have a special lunch

or dinner with a new

dessert we talk and at

the end we sing hymns This brings

us together and helps us be betterfriends

Rebeca N 12 Satildeo Paulo Brazil

Try an Experiment

We arrange time to be together hav-

ing family home evening playing

games going to the beach having

lunch together All of this helps to

Q U E S T I O N S amp A N S W E R S

all day Howcan I improve our

relationshiprdquo

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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keep the flame of a good relationship

alive When we disagree we avoid

criticizing I know that sometimes I

ask not to do housework but this

contributes to disharmony in the

home Since I began this experiment

mdashcomplaining less lowering my

voice helping more with housework

and talking more with my mothermdash

a sweet spirit has developed in our

home and we cooperate more

Glenda C 18 Bahia Brazil

Help at Home

Do some extra chores

around the house Your

mom has been work-

ing all day If she has

less work to do when she gets home

shersquoll probably be happier and have

more time to talk and do things with

you While you are talking you canask about her day at work It will

show her that you care and it will

open doors for other topics of discus-

sion allowing you to grow closer

Heather B 18 Oregon USA

Find Something You BothLike to Do

My mumrsquos relationship with me

skyrocketed when I said ldquoI want tospend more time with you but I donrsquot

know what to do or when to do itrdquo

Playing board games happens to be

our favorite pastime So we set aside

a time together to play laugh and

make memories When you are open

with your parents eventually they

become your best companions You

UPCOMING QUESTION

ldquoMy parents just

got divorced Irsquom angry that they

have broken up our

family How doI forgive themrdquo

Send your answer and photo by

September 15 2014

Go to neweraldsorg click ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo enter your LDS Accountand then select ldquoNew Erardquo

Responses may be edited for length

or clarity

Responses are intended for help and per-

spective not as official pronouncements ofChurch doctrine

will be able to talk to them about

anything and you will be sure of an

honest answer That is the sign of a

mature relationship

Ephraim S 15 New South Wales Australia

Read Scriptures Together

Both of you could set a goal to read

together every day even just five

minutes from the Book of Mormon

or any other Church book It will

strengthen your relationship andnourish you with the word of God

so you can be ready to face each day

Remember also to pray to God and

ask for His help I know He hears you

and loves you

Laura M 19 Coacuterdoba Argentina

LEARN FROM

YOUR MOTHER

ldquoPlease look to yourfaithful mothers fora pattern to followModel yourselves

after them not after celebritieswhose standards are not the Lordrsquosstandards and whose values maynot reflect an eternal perspectiveLook to your mother Learn fromher strengths her courage andher faithfulness Listen to her She

may not be a whiz at texting shemay not even have a Facebookpage But when it comes to mat-ters of the heart and the thingsof the Lord she has a wealth ofknowledgerdquo

Elder M Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles ldquoMothers and Daughtersrdquo

Ensign May 2010 19

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46 N e w E r a

MISERABLE TOTHE END OFTHE STREET

For one family home evening my

dad wanted to take advantage

of a pause in the rainy weather

to go on a walk around the neighbor-

hood I grumbled and complained

that it was too wet and muddy to

go walking I used the excuse that

I had a ballet recital that week and

didnrsquot want to sprain an ankle but

my dad didnrsquot buy it He insisted thatit was going to be the activity for the

evening I murmured a bit more about

the unfairness and my recital but we

left on the walk anyway

As I glumly stomped outside for

the walk with my family I was deter-

mined not to smile or be happy I

succeeded in feeling miserable until

I N S T A N T M E S S A G E S

we reached the end of the street Then

we turned the corner and I saw in full

force naturersquos beauty and wonder

Before me was a gorgeous sunset

and opposite it was a rainbow arching

above our neighborhood rooftops

I immediately forgot all about being

miserable and looked around in awe

On the way home I said a prayer of

gratitude thanking God for the beautyof His creations I later thanked my

dad for choosing the activity and for

allowing us to enjoy nature for that

family home evening

Jennie H North Carolina USA

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 47

STANDARDS AND FRIENDS

Since Irsquove been in school Irsquove had friends who havenrsquot understood the

moral standards of our religion At first it was difficult but over time

my friends have become used to the idea of my being morally clean I

made a goal in my life to be clean and pure and itrsquos worked out well both

for me and for those who used to criticize me Over time respect peace and

joy have become a part of our loving circle of friends

Vitoacuteria M Brazil

A DIFFICULT DECISION

FORGIVINGMY FRIENDS

As the only member of the

Church in my peer group

Irsquove experienced some

instances when my friends have

offended me Sometimes they judge

and criticize my religion I feel so

alone yet Irsquom thankful I know the

standards of the Church

If my friends offend me I try to

humble myself and avoid contention

because I know contention is evil When they start discussing some mat-

ters about the Church I just testify of

my belief in the gospel

I always forgive my friends with or

without their apology Forgiving is not

just about saying ldquoApology acceptedrdquo

or ldquoItrsquos OKrdquo because forgiveness has

a deep meaning Jesus Christ atoned

for our sins so that Heavenly Father

can forgive usEven though my friends donrsquot

understand my faith now I know that

I can be Godrsquos instrument to teach

them the gospel I am helping them

and at the same time I am helping

myself to grow spiritually and prepare

to serve a mission

Joshua V Philippines

As volleyball tryouts approached for my senior year in high

school I couldnrsquot believe the thought that was running through

my head I wasnrsquot supposed to play volleyball Irsquod played vol-

leyball since seventh grademdashwhy should this year be any different

Not seeing the sense in quitting I ignored the feeling and continued

to participate in summer volleyball events After a while the feeling

came back so I decided that if I really wasnrsquot supposed to be on the

team my coach would just cut me during tryouts

Then one night at the gym I couldnrsquot focus on the game at all I felt

terrible and restless inside I came home frustrated with my team and

with myself I sat next to my mom and sister and cried I told them

how confused I was and my mom told me to pray and ask Heavenly

Father what He wanted me to do I went up to my room and began to

pray I told Heavenly Father how I felt then I asked Him to help mefeel peace if I was not supposed to continue playing volleyball I felt

His peace in my heart and knew that I needed to quit

Irsquom still not sure all the reasons why that was the right

decision but I know that itrsquos what the Lord

wanted me to do and thatrsquos a good

enough reason for me

The next morning I told my

coach and my teammates that

I wasnrsquot going to be playing

Even though it was incrediblyhard I knew I was doing

the right thing

Klaire B Arizona USA

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5152

you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Ihave been a member of the Church

for five years My parents are not

members but my uncle Jorge is

the Young Men president and he

has been a great support I am also

grateful to my bishop for his con-

stant support and encouragement

I decided to get closer to the

Church after one of the missionary

days they had in the ward It was

one of my first experiences that

motivated me to join the Church As

a deacon teacher and now a priestmy leaders have always supported

and encouraged me to participate

in all of the missionary work activ-

ities I like the open houses where

I have the opportunity to share

with others the blessing of being a

member of Christrsquos Church What

inspires me most are the service

Changed by

the Gospel

Your Missio983150983137ry Ex983152erie983150ce s

As a deacon I learned my

responsibilities thanks to the

support of my parents and lead-

ers and working with the goals

in the Duty to God booklet As a

teacher I learned more by going

to do visits as a home teacher

participating in the open houses

on the missionary days sharing

banana bread attending Mutual

and participating in ward and

stake activities

Now as a priest I get tofocus more on missionary work

Working with the Young Men

president and as an assistant to

the bishop I have learned much

more about my responsibilities as

a priesthood holder

Our leaders constantly invite

us to come with them and the

full-time missionaries so that we

can become familiar with mis-sionary work They also exhort

us to read the scriptures espe-

cially the Book of Mormon All

of these experiences motivate

and prepare me to receive the

higher priesthood and to serve

a full-time mission

Isaac G 17

Learning My

Responsibilities

activities where I have the oppor-

tunity to serve my neighbor as

Jesus taught us to do

A year ago my younger broth-

ers Luis age 15 and Israel age 12

joined the Church Together we

have been working on the projects

in Duty to God and since their

baptisms we have shared wonderful

experiences working together All of

the young men in the ward are very

close and we support each other

I know that baptism is the gateto enter the kingdom of heaven

When we are in the service of

our fellow beings we are in the

service of God (see Mosiah 217)

Missionary work blesses fami-

lies and I know that my life has

changed because of the gospel

Alvaro T 17

How have you shared the gospel through small and simple means

Share your stories by visiting neweraldsorg and clicking ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo or by emailing neweraldschurchorg

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8 N e w E r a

By Thomas E Robinson III

F R O M T H E M I S S I O N F I E L D

One small prompting can

change lives for the better

A M I RAC LE

ATT H E

AI RP O RT

s a new missionary in Japan I

had a hard time understanding

anyone let alone getting to

know them It was difficult

to learn to love people I didnrsquot even

know especially when I couldnrsquot

understand what they were saying

But I made an effort to show mylove for them and I appreciated their

efforts to reach out to me

Each week my companion and I

received a loaf of homemade bread

from a sister in the ward named Sister

Senba She showed her love for the

missionaries by baking homemade

bread and writing small but heartfelt

notes

I was touched that someone caredabout me I felt impressed to show my

gratitude to her in some small way

I wrote her a note expressing how

grateful I was for her and the sacri-

fices she and her family made to help

the missionaries We became friends

and I began to think of her as my

ldquomother away from homerdquo

A

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Months passed Early one

Wednesday morning I received a

call from my mission president

who asked me to transfer down to

Okinawa When I hung up the phone

I was filled with the most bittersweet

feeling I dreaded having to say my

good-byes Each phone call to tell

members of the ward I would be

leaving on the following day made

my heart hurt Saying good-bye to thepeople I had come to love so much

was more difficult than I had imag-

ined it would be

As I finished these calls I noticed

that the only one who had not

answered the phone was Sister Senba

I was sad I would not be able to say

good-bye to a member who had

become so close to my heart

The next morning two other mis-sionaries and I left for the airport

When we arrived at the ticket counter

and tried to buy tickets the work-

ers told us that our cards had been

declined We did not have any money

to pay for the tickets and the flight

was leaving in 10 minutes The three

of us were in a panic We were about

to miss the flight and be stranded at

the airport for the dayBut all of my panic turned to com-

fort when I turned around and saw

Sister Senba walk into the airport

I was shocked that she was there

because she hadnrsquot known what time

our flight was As she scrambled over

to us she smiled and gave us all bread

to bring onto the plane

As we explained to her that we

were going to miss our flight she

became saddened None of us knew

what to do Then Sister Senba began

rummaging through her purse look-

ing for something that could help us

She jumped happily into the air when

she found a small envelope in her

purse in which weeks ago she had

placed yen50000mdashthe exact amount of

money we needed She gave us the

At that moment I felt the Spirit

more strongly than I ever have before

Sister Senbarsquos example taught me how

important it is to follow the prompt-

ings of the Spiritmdashno matter how

small or strange the prompting might

seem Through these promptings we

have the power to change lives for

the better I know it was not a coinci-

dence that she came to the airport It

was a miracle

TRULY THE LORD USES SMALL MEANS TO

BRING ABOUT HIS WORK

money and we were able to get our

tickets in time We thanked her with

every ounce of gratitude our souls

could muster said good-bye and

rushed onto the plane After the plane took off my fellow

missionary turned to me and said

ldquoIsnrsquot she amazing That was

a miraclerdquo

I then realized how truly mirac-

ulous it really was He then said

ldquoWhat does your note sayrdquo I saw he

was reading a note that was with the

bread Sister Senba had given

him As I realized I had onetoo I pulled out the note

and read a small piece of

paper personally addressed

to me which immediately

made my eyes swell with

tears It said ldquoI love you

Please donrsquot forget me I

will never forget yourdquo

Truly the Lord uses small means to

bring about His work How blessed

we are as members of this Church to

have His influence in our lives Let

us all remain worthy to receive thesepromptings and bless the lives of the

children of God NE

Thomas E Robinson III lives in Utah USA

Editorrsquos note Sister Senba was promptly

reimbursed by the mission

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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When I got my first paycheck for my first real job (at a

sandwich shop) I rewarded myself with a shopping

spree I bought some music and a cute outfit After

spending every dollar Irsquod earned I thought about

my purchases

ldquoThere goes two whole weeks of workrdquo I

thought And a sick feeling started to grow inmy stomach

As I thought about all those hours of hard work mak-

ing sandwiches my superficial purchases hardly seemed

worth it I vowed to be more careful with my money

So from then on I saved every penny for college and a pos-

sible mission and never bought anything I wanted ever again

Yeah right

I was still a normal teenager who wanted stylish clothes

good music and fun activities with my friends But coming

from a big family I knew that if I wanted those things I wouldhave to save money to pay for them myself

It might sound impossible but I found ways to be finan-

cially prepared for the future and have fun at the same timemdash

even with a part-time job that didnrsquot pay very much Here are

some tips on how you can increase your ldquomoney smartsrdquo

10 N e w E r a

HOW TO BEMONEY SMART

By Arianne Cope

Y O U W O R K H A R D F O R Y O U R M O N E Y A fewi983149983152le 983152ri983150ci983152les c983137983150 983149983137ke your c983137sh 983143o further

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A BUDGET THAT WORKS

Yoursquove probably been told about budgets

from the day you earned your first nickel or

dime Thatrsquos because it really works A bud-get is a plan that will help you make the best

use of what you earn and save Herersquos one

way you can set up a budget of your own

1 Decide on a time frame for your budget

Most budgets plan for expenses monthly

2 Add up every dollar you plan to make

to figure out your expected income (Or

use last monthrsquos earnings for this monthrsquos

spending so you have an exact amount

available)

3 Calculate how much yoursquoll need to pay

for tithing along with any other offerings

you might want to give

4 Create a list of things you think yoursquoll pur-

chase throughout the month along with

how much theyrsquoll probably cost

5 Separate your needs from your wants

because yoursquoll want to spend your money

on needs first

6 Subtract the total cost of your needs from

your total income

7 Set aside a little money each month for

your wants

8 After paying for tithing and your imme-

diate needs put most of the money thatrsquos

left into savings Look to the future and set

a plan to save for college a mission (par-

ticularly young men) or other big things

Think about how much you need to save

every month to meet the financial goals

you have for those big things in the future

9 Remember that making your budget work

takes solid planning a strong commit-

ment and self-discipline Itrsquos tough but

itrsquos worth it

SHOPPING PRINCIPLES

If yoursquore like most teenagers yoursquore prob-

ably going to want to spend some of your

money at the mall at a store or online So

yoursquoll want to know some basic principles

about shopping before you go

bull Decide what yoursquore planning to buy

before you go shopping Then stick to

your plan and avoid the habit of buying

things on impulse

bull Buy something only if you really love it

Donrsquot let your friends a salesperson or an

advertisement talk you into buying some-

thing yoursquore not going to use often

bull Remember that the word sale doesnrsquot

always mean yoursquore getting a good deal

Look for the best quality at the lowest

price Sometimes that means paying a

little bit more for something that will last a

lot longer

bull Ask yourself if you can live without the

item Remember the old adage ldquoFix it up

wear it out make it do or do withoutrdquo

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 11

T H E B O O K O F M O R M O N

CONCERT

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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SOME FINAL TIPS

Just to finish here are some general

money-related guidelines to keep in mind

bull Keep track of your money and keep it in

a safe place

bull You canrsquot buy happiness but being will-

ing to share usually results in a smile

bull Avoid gambling of any kind

bull Be cautious of things that seem too good

to be truemdashthey usually are

The most important lesson about money

however is to keep in mind that wersquore not

here on earth to get rich or to have a lot of

fancy things Remember these truths from

the Doctrine and Covenants ldquoSeek not for

riches but for wisdom and behold the mys-

teries of God shall be unfolded unto you

and then shall you be made rich Behold he

that hath eternal life is richrdquo (DampC 67) NE

Arianne Cope lives in Utah USA

THE FUN STUFF

Herersquos a little-known fact a half-gallon

of ice cream from the grocery store tastes

almost as good as ice cream from an ice-cream shop Also a fact you can often buy

a half-gallon of ice cream for the same price

yoursquod pay for a single serving at an ice-

cream shop So if you need to save some

money suggest that your friends all split a

half-gallon from the store rather than spend-

ing a lot more at the ice-cream shop

And thatrsquos just one example of simple

money solutions You can be frugal in lots of

ways while still having a great time

bull Watch the newspaper or look online to

find free community or local events

bull If you want to see a movie go to a mati-

nee or a dollar theater for cheaper tickets

bull Plan ahead Make a list of ideas of free

things to do with your friends so you

wonrsquot rely on spending money to enter-

tain yourselves

bull Have fun outdoors without paying much

(if anything) Enjoy a campfire in the

canyon or on the beach or a free Frisbee

game at the parkmdashthey can be just

as much fun as going to a movie or a

concert

12 N e w E r a

FACT YOU CAN OFTEN BUY A HALF-GALLON OF

ICE CREAM FOR THE SAME PRICE YOUrsquoD PAY FOR A

SINGLE SERVING AT AN ICE-CREAM SHOP

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 13

3 Nephi 1815 20ndash21Jesus Christ taught the Nephites the importance of prayer

Editorrsquos note This page is not meant to be a com-

prehensive explanation of the selected seminary

scripture mastery verses only a starting point for

your own study

983148983141983155983156 983161983141 983138983141 983156983141983149983152983156983141983140

This is one of many scriptures

that teach how praying can help

us escape Satanrsquos temptations (see

also DampC 105 3112 and 6139)

Here are some other blessings thescriptures promise when you obey

the command to pray always What

blessings have you received

bull You will be worthy to stand in the

presence of God (see Luke 2136)

bull The Lord will consecrate your

efforts (see 2 Nephi 329)

bull The Spirit will be poured upon

you (see DampC 1938)

bull You will be given strength toendure (see DampC 88126)

bull Things will work out for your

good (see DampC 9024)

983152983154983137983161 983137983148983159983137983161983155

ldquoWe should be alone

with our Heavenly

Father at least two

or three times each

daymdashlsquomorning mid-day and eve-ningrsquo as the scripture indicates (Alma

3421) In addition we are told to

pray always (See 2 Ne 329 DampC

88126) This means that our hearts

should be full drawn out in prayer

unto our Heavenly Father continually

(See Alma 3427)rdquo

President Ezra Taft Benson (1899ndash1994) ldquoPray

Alwaysrdquo Ensign Feb 1990 2

L I N E U P O N L I N E

983159983144983137983156983155983151983141983158983141983154 983161983141 983155983144983137983148983148 983137983155983147

In the scriptures the Lord repeatedly

promises to answer our prayers if we

will but ask What can you learn from

these scriptures about how to ask and

receive answers What other scriptures

can you find that teach about this

bull James 15ndash6

bull 1 Nephi 1511

bull Enos 12ndash15

bull Mormon 921

bull DampC 810

bull DampC 4630ndash32

983159983144983145983139983144 983145983155 983154983145983143983144983156

ldquoHere the Savior

reminds us that faith

no matter how strong

it is cannot produce

a result contrary to the will of him

whose power it is The exercise of

faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is always

subject to the order of heaven to

the goodness and will and wisdom

and timing of the Lord That is why we cannot have true faith in the

Lord without also having complete

trust in the Lordrsquos will and in the

Lordrsquos timingrdquo

Elder Dallin H Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles ldquo lsquoFaith in the Lord Jesus Christrsquo rdquo

Ensign May 1994 100

983137983148983159983137983161983155 983145983150 983149983161 983150983137983149983141

Praying in Christrsquos name means

more than just ending our prayers

in the name of Jesus Christ The

Bible Dictionary teaches ldquoWe pray

in Christrsquos name when our mind isthe mind of Christ and our wishes

the wishes of Christmdashwhen His

words abide in us (John 157) We

then ask for things it is possible for

God to grant Many prayers remain

unanswered because they are not

in Christrsquos name at all they in no

way represent His mind but spring

out of the selfishness of manrsquos

heartrdquo (ldquoPrayerrdquo)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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By ElderJoseacute L Alonso

Of the Seventy

LINKED PRAYERS COUNSELING WITH THE LORD

ldquoThere may be things in our character in our behavior or concerningour spiritual growth about which we need to counsel with HeavenlyFather in morning prayer After expressing appropriate thanks for

blessings received we plead for understanding direction and helpto do the things we cannot do in our own strength alone

ldquoAt the end of our day we kneel again and report back to our Father We reviewthe events of the day and express heartfelt thanks for the blessings and the helpwe received We repent and with the assistance of the Spirit of the Lord identifyways we can do and become better tomorrow Thus our evening prayer buildsupon and is a continuation of our morning prayer And our evening prayer also is apreparation for meaningful morning prayerrdquo

Elder David A Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles ldquoPray Alwaysrdquo Ensign Nov 2008 41ndash42

14 N e w E r a

When I was 15 I went

to live with my father

while I finished high

school He lived and

worked in another city and had joined

the Church I didnrsquot know he was

a member but I saw that he acted

differently He acted with love and

kindness and was interested in myconcerns and needs

The first night I arrived I was

so hungry We sat down for dinner

and I started to eat but my father

said ldquoWait a minute We need to

prayrdquo I said ldquoWe need to what rdquo I

didnrsquot even know what the word

pray meant My father explained

that he was going to thank God our

Heavenly Father for the food we

had received from Him and then

we could eat My father prayed

and in his prayer he mentioned myname and asked for God to bless

me I felt something wonderful That

was the first time I felt the Spirit so

strongly in my life

My father taught me to pray to

Heavenly Father on my own Later

when the missionaries taught me

about Joseph Smithrsquos prayer I imme-

diately felt that it was possible for the

Lord to answer the prayer of a young

man The missionaries asked me to

read the Book of Mormon and to pray

to know if Jesus is the Christ if JosephSmith was a prophet and if the Book

of Mormon is true

That night I read the story in

3 Nephi 11 of when Jesus visits the

Nephites I was in a private place

so I got down on my knees and I

prayed Even though I was only 15 I

had faith that the Lord would answer

my prayer I received an impression

in my mind as clear as anything Ihad ever seen that Jesus is the Christ

Joseph Smith was a prophet and

the Book of Mormon is true I felt

like Joseph Smith after that prayer

I was so happy to truly know that

Heavenly Father answers prayers

from young people

Irsquod Never PRAYED BEFORE

i983150 Th983137t W983137y

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 1752

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 15

WHAT KEPT ME STRONG

D983137ily P983137yer

As a teenager in an area with-

out a lot of Church members

I found that daily prayer was one

of the most important things that

helped me stay spiritually strong

I made sure to pray every day and

developed a pattern that helped

memdashmorning and evening prayers

When I heard

my father prayfor the rst timel felt something

wonderful

MORNING PRAYERS

Every morning I would share with

the Lord

bull My plans for the day

bull What I wanted to do

bull What I thought the Lord

wanted me to do

I would present my plans to

God and then ask for the Lordrsquos

help in accomplishing them

EVENING PRAYERS

Every evening I would

bull Report on how my day went

and if I had accomplished the

things I had set out to do

bull Share things that had been

difficult for me

bull Share things that I had learned

from people or through the

Spirit that dayThe more I prayed the more

I learned to understand and

receive impressions from the

Holy Ghost These impressions

helped me gain more strength

to follow the direction of the

Lord NE

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 1852

16 N e w E r a

With canteen in hand I was prepared for my

second 50-mile hike and campout in the

Uinta Mountains I was about as well pre-

pared as a 14-year-old could be My equip-

ment was all set to go my boots were sturdy and my pack

was full of all the essentials

The day of the hike arrived and our

leaders reminded our group of young men

that the mountains could be very danger-

ous Hikers and campers were often lost

in the rugged hills and on the numerous

trails We were warned not to wander

away from the path Our leadersmdashmy

father includedmdashall seemed concerned

for our safety and were anxious to keep

us from straying off of our chosen pathBeing one of the stronger hikers and

a leader in the group I soon found myself

and three other boys leading the way

Sometimes we waited for our group at the

forks in the trail to make sure we followed

the correct path and would not become lost

We hiked for hours laughing and joking all the way We

were having a great time Suddenly we heard frantic calls

and the sounds of running We knew something must have

gone wrong We wondered if maybe some of the grouphad become lost I was concerned for the friends Irsquod left

behind with the leaders Something bad must have happened

We stopped to listen so we could hear what the distant

voices were yelling We heard our names More specifically

I heard my name being called I recognized my fatherrsquos

voice We called back and heard their heavy footsteps coming

in our direction

Something bad had happened We learned that

four of the boys in our group had strayed from

the correct path and had become lost It was us

We were the ones who were lost My father was

thankful to have finally found us and together we

began the hike back to the correct trail

In my head I retraced my footsteps I couldnrsquot

figure out how Irsquod become lost I felt like I was

still on the original path Irsquod been so sure We

retraced our steps and my father showed us aturn we had missed It was just a small path with

a little hidden sign marking the correct way

We had hiked two miles off the right trail

We were thankful wersquod been found

before dark For the rest of the hike

we stayed close to our leaders and the rest of the

group and were never in danger again

Sometimes our overconfidence as youth

gives us an unrealistic sense of independence

We push on without consulting our parentsor leaders We fail to ask for advice We feel

By Duncan Anderson

Mile Hike

The

We stoppedto listen so we

could hear whatthe distant voices

were yellingWe heard ournames We

called back andheard their heavyfootsteps comingin our direction

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 17

certain wersquore headed in a direction leading to the right

destination We laugh and joke and enjoy the path until itrsquos

too late too dark and wersquore lost

When it comes to choosing the right trails in life our

Heavenly Father has provided tools to guide us and keep us

on the path that leads to Him We have the scriptures prayer

and revelation our parents guidelines like For the Strength

of Youth and our Church leaders to guide us through the

countless options life offers

When we do stray off the path itrsquos often our loving parents

and dedicated leaders who come to the rescue They can

guide us back to the correct way and show us where we

went wrong Through repentance we can correct those

wrongs and start fresh on the right path headed toward the

destination that will give us eternal happiness and a life in the

presence of our Heavenly Father NE

Duncan Anderson lives in Utah USA

CHOOSING RIGHT PATHS

ldquoI plead with you to make a determi-nation right here right now notto deviate from the path which willlead to our goal eternal life with ourFather in Heaven Along that straight

and true path there are other goals missionaryservice temple marriage Church activity scripturestudy prayer temple work There are countless wor-thy goals to reach as we travel through life Neededis our commitment to reach themrdquo

President Thomas S Monson ldquoThe Three Rs of Choicerdquo

Ensign Nov 2010 68

NEED ADVICE

Is there anything yoursquod like advice on Donrsquot be afraid to ask your

parents or Church leaders Remember they are there to help you

no matter what yoursquod like to talk about

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2052

One of the things we agree

to do as part of the bap-

tismal covenant is ldquoto

stand as witnesses of

God at all times and in all things and in

all places that [we] may be inrdquo (Mosiah

189) And incidentally we renew this

covenant every week when we partake

of the sacramentIn the April 2014 general conference

several speakers reminded us that there

will be times when standing as a witness

of God will mean having to face oppo-

sition criticism and ridicule So what

should you do when yoursquore required

to take the uncomfortable uncool or

unpopular step of defending your beliefs

By David A Edwards

Church Magazines

Be brave and humble firm and gentle

all at the same time With the Lordrsquos

help itrsquos not as hard as it sounds

18 N e w E r a

of Defe983150di983150983143Your Beliefs

Dorsquos 983137983150d

Donrsquots

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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you should rely on the Spiritto guide your defense of your

faith Bear testimony by the

Spirit Thatrsquos the Lordrsquos way

(See also DampC 1005ndash8)

The point here is not that

you should avoid any discus-

sion in which people have dif-

fering points of view Rather it

has to do with your intent as

well as the emotions involved

We should seek understand-

ing and try to persuade withmeekess not just score points

and prove wersquore right and

someone else is wrong A

discussion where people are

getting really worked up and

angry is one you should either

try to soften or simply avoid

Heavenly Father has given

you the gift of the Holy Ghost

and you should take advan-

tage of this gift This doesnrsquot

mean reason and logic canrsquot

be inspired or confirmed by

the Spirit it just means that

Elder W Craig Zwick of

the Seventy has explained

this scripture this way ldquoA lsquosoft

answerrsquo consists of a reasoned

responsemdashdisciplined words

from a humble heart It does

not mean we never speak

directly or that we compro-

mise doctrinal truth Words

that may be firm in infor-

mation can be soft in spiritrdquo

(ldquoWhat Are You Thinkingrdquo

Ensign May 2014 42)

ldquoA SOFT ANSWER TURNETH AWAY

wr983137thBUT

GRIEVOUS WORDS stir u983152 983137983150983143errdquo

(Proverbs 151)

ldquoBeholdI send you forthas sheep in the

midst of wolves be ye therefore wise as serpents

and h983137r983149less as dovesrdquo

(Matthew 1016)

The Savior doesnrsquot want

you to be ignorant or naiumlve

but He also doesnrsquot want you

to attack anyone Knowing

what goes on in the world

doesnrsquot mean we have to

use its tactics

ldquoCONTEND AGAINST

NO CHURCHrdquo (DampC 1820)

There is no need to

criticize other churches

Positive statements of your

beliefs rather than negative

statements about others will

be most effective As the

Prophet Joseph Smith said

ldquoWe donrsquot ask any people

to throw away any good

they have got we only ask

them to come and get morerdquo

(Teachings of Presidents

of the Church Joseph

Smith [2007] 155)

ldquoAND THOUSHALT DECLARE

983143l983137d tidi983150983143s ldquoAND THOU SHALTDO IT WITH 983137ll hu983149ilityTRUSTING IN ME 983154evili983150983143 983150ot

AGAINST REVILERSrdquo

(DampC 1929ndash30)

The tidings you declare

are glad Remember that

and make sure your face and

your voice show it too Also

the word revile here means

to hurl abusive or insulting

language at a person So if

ldquoFOR I AM

NOT ASHAMED

OF THE GOSPEL OF CHRISTrdquo

(Romans 116)

As President Thomas S

Monson has said ldquoWe will all

face fear experience ridiculeand meet opposition Let

usmdashall of usmdashhave the courage

to defy the consensus the

courage to stand for prin-

ciple Courage not com-

promise brings the smile of

Godrsquos approvalrdquo (ldquoBe Strong

and of a Good Couragerdquo

Ensign May 2014 69)

The scriptures give you some basic principles for standing up for your faith including the following

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 19

ldquoWe s983152e983137k

NOT IN THE WORDS which 983149983137983150rsquos

WISDOM TEACH ETH

but which THE HOLY GHOST

TEACHETHrdquo

(1 Corinthians 213)

ldquoHE THATHATH THE

SPIRIT OF CONTENTIONIS NOT OF ME

BUT ISOF THE DEVIL

WHO IS THE FATHER OFCONTENTION AND

HE STIRRETH UPTHE HEARTS

OF MEN

TO CONTEND WITH ANGER

ONE WITH ANOTHERrdquo(3 Nephi 1129)

HERErsquoS SOME ADVICE FROM THE SCRIPTURES

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2252

How Do You Defend Do you have experi-ence in defending yourbeliefs Or do you haveideas to add to theselists Go to ldsorggodefendNE8 and share

Finding Courage

Read more on this topic atldsorggocourageNE8

someonersquos doing that to you

donrsquot retaliate and do the

same thing back to them The

Apostle Peter taught that the

Savior Himself gave the exam-

ple you should follow in thisregard (see 1 Peter 223)

ldquoLOVE YOUR ENEMIESbless them

that curse you

DO GOOD TO T HEMTHAT HATE YOU

and pray for

them which

DESPITEFULLY USE YOUAND PERSECUTE YOUrdquo

(Matthew 544)ldquoSEE THAT YE ARE NOT lifted u983152 u983150to

983152ride ye983137 SEE THAT YE DO

NOT BOAST IN YOUR

OWN WISDOM

983150or of your 983149uch stre983150983143thldquoUSE BOLDNESS

BUT NOT

OVERBEARANCErdquo (Alma 3811ndash12)

Here the word tenets

refers to opinions or teachings

that go beyond the basics So

the Lord is saying to stick to

the basic message of the gos-

pel when yoursquore declaring Hisglad tidings This also applies

to defending your faith

You donrsquot need to stray into

detailed discussions about

every little thing related to the

Church As Elder Richard G

Scott of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles has said

ldquoKeep your sharing of the

gospel simple rdquo (ldquo lsquoI HaveGiven You an Examplerdquo

Ensign May 2014 34)

ldquoEveryone independent

of his or her decisions and

beliefs deserves our kind-

ness and considerationrdquo said

Elder Neil L Andersen of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles ldquoThe Savior

taught us to love not only

our friends but also those

who disagree with usmdashand

even those who repudiate

usrdquo (ldquoSpiritual Whirlwindsrdquo

Ensign May 2014 20)

Again be humble Itrsquos not

about you or how smart and

capable you are Also you can

be bold without making over-

blown statements or being

a verbal or intellectual bully

As Elder Jeffrey R Holland

of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoYou willone day find yourself called

upon to defend your faith

Such moments will require

both courage and courtesy

on your partrdquo (ldquoThe Costmdashand

Blessingsmdashof Discipleshiprdquo

Ensign May 2014 6)

ldquoA983150d of te983150ets thou sh983137lt 983150ot t983137lk but thou shalt

declare repentance andfaith on the Savior and 983154e983149issio983150 of si983150sby baptism and by fire

yea even the Holy Ghostrdquo(DampC 1931)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2452

22 N e w E r a

I received my first two-wheel bicycle

when I was eight years old With

the help of my older brother and

father I began the rather scary pro-

cess of figuring out how to ride it The other kids in the neighborhood

made it look so easy and natural as

they zoomed up and down the street

on their bikes I perched on the bike

seatmdashwhich seemed to be at least

10 feet (3 m) above the groundmdashand

realized there was absolutely noth-

ing to keep me from falling over and

proving that the law of gravity was

alive and well As I tried riding I learned quickly

that if I wanted to stay balanced I had

to keep pedaling When I first sat on

the seat speed was the last thing I

wanted to add to the already daunting

equation But I very soon understood

the wisdom and the physics involved

in moving forward As long as I kept

pedaling I could stay upright and

avoid the rough concrete just waiting

to take the skin off my arms and legs

Soon I was zipping around the neigh-

borhood with my friends

Defy Gr983137vity Defy Gr983137vity

of the First Presidency as outlined

in that booklet our lives will be bal-

anced and steady We will be led

where we want to go

We need to keep moving forwardto avoid falling To do that we should

consistently and faithfully do certain

actions

bull Pray morning and night

bull Study the scriptures daily

bull Attend Church meetings and par-

take of the sacrament worthily

bull Serve those around us

bull Be worthy to attend the temple

All of these actions keep us moving

forward in the right direction

Thatrsquos why reading and being famil-

iar with the standards described in For

the Strength of Youth will help ensure

we are making choices consistent with

Godrsquos standards Living these princi-

ples and keeping the commandments

F O R T H E S T R E N G T H O F Y O U T H

By Bonnie LOscarson

Young WomenGeneral President

As you keep moving forward you can stay upright even

when outside forces try to pull you down

Just as those who keep

pedaling a bike can stay

upright despite gravityrsquos

influence those who are

guided by the Holy Spirit in

all they do can withstand

the influence of theadversary

So it is with living the gospel and

the standards in For the Strength of

Youth It takes faith to believe that if

we consistently follow the counsel

GO FORWARD WITH FAITH

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 23

invite the Holy Ghost to be our con-

stant companion Just as those who

keep pedaling a bike can stay upright

despite gravityrsquos influence those who

are guided by the Holy Spirit in allthey do can withstand the influence of

the adversary

What are the destinations you have

in mind as you pedal forward For all

young men of the Aaronic Priesthood

preparing now for a full-time mission

is important in forward growth For

all youth being prepared to go to the

temple and receive the endowment by

making and keeping sacred covenantsshould also be a primary goal

As the message from the First

Presidency at the beginning of For the

Strength of Youth says ldquoIn all that you

do stay focused on the temple In the

temple you will receive the greatest

of all the Lordrsquos blessings including

marriage for time and all eternityrdquo1

Receiving the covenant of eternal

marriage in the house of the Lord and

becoming righteous husbands wives

fathers and mothers may seem far

down the road but the time to beginpreparing is now All of these things

lead to the most glorious and grand

destination of allmdasheternal life with

our Heavenly Father

One of my favorite scriptures

sums up what we need to do in order

to keep moving toward our goals

ldquoWherefore ye must press forward

with a steadfastness in Christ hav-

ing a perfect brightness of hopeand a love of God and of all men

Wherefore if ye shall press forward

feasting upon the word of Christ and

endure to the end behold thus saith

the Father Ye shall have eternal liferdquo

(2 Nephi 3120)

Just as I learned as an eight-year-

old girl that I needed to keep pedaling

and moving forward in order to defy

gravity and keep my balance on my

bicycle it is important for all of us to

keep moving forward with faith trust-

ing in the counsel of living prophetsand a loving Heavenly Father to keep

us from falling Some of our destina-

tions are just down the road while

others will take a lifetime of faithful

living to achieve The promises of

what lies at the end of the road if we

are faithful are certain and glorious

and well worth the ride NE

NOTE

1 For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

Learn MoreSee whatrsquos next in your covenant path

at ldsorggocovenantNE8

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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24 N e w E r a

BOA R D

GA M E S

B y Da vid Chris tensen

My chance to play le f t

a lasting impact but it

wasnrsquot what Irsquod e xpected

L o s i n

g s o

q u i c k

l y w

a s b

a d e

n o u

g h

b

u t t o

m a k

e m

a t t e r s

w o r s e

t h

e o t h

e r g

u y

s s t a r t e

d t o

m a k

e

f u n

o f

m e

I

t r i e d

t o c o

n t i n

u e

p l a y i n g

e v e

n t h

o u

g h

t h e y

w e r

e b

e i n

g m

e a n

b

u t i t

w a s h

a r d t o h o

l d b

a c k m y t e

a r s

o f f r u s t

r a t i o n

U

n f o

r t u n a t e l y

o n e t e

a r t r i c k l e

d d

o w

n m y

c h e e

k b

e f o

r e I

c o u

l d w i p

e i t

a w a y M

y b

r o t h

e r

s a w i t

a n d

t e a s e

d m

e t o

o

I c o

u l d

n rsquo t

t a k e i t

a n y

m o r e

a n d

r a n t o

m y

r o o m

I g a v e m y s e l

f a q u i c k p i n

c h

t o m a k e s u r

e I w a s n rsquo

t d r e a m i n g

a n d t h e

n I v o i c e d

a t i m i d ldquo Y e

a h

s u r e rdquo I s t

i l l c o u l d

n rsquo t b e l i e

v e t h a t

m y b r o t h e

r h a d i n v

i t e d m e t o

p l a y a g a m e w i t h

t h e ldquo b i g k i

d s rdquo

A f t e r a l l

I rsquo d b e e n t o l d f o r t h

r e e

y e a r s t h a

t I w a s s t i l l

t o o y o u

n g

t o p l a y m o r e d i f fi

c u l t b o a

r d

g a m e s w i t h m y b r o

t h e r a n d

h i s f r i e n d s

A N D B R O

T H

E R S

I

felt the hot tears of anger slowly slide

down my face I wiped them away with

my hand but I could still feel the

slightly salty taste on my lips assobs of anguish began to pour out

I just wanted to hang out with my

brother Why couldnrsquot he be my

friend too

J u s t a f e w

h o u r s

b e f o

r e I h a d

s t a r e d a t

m y o

l d e r b

r o t h

e r S t e v e

i n c o

m p

l e t e s u r p

r i s e

w a i t i n

g f o r h

i m t o

t e

l l

m e t h

a t h e w

a s o n

l y

j o k i n g ldquo W

e l l d o y o

u

w a n

t t o p

l a y rdquo S t e v e

a s k e d i m p

a

t i e n t l y

I w

e n t i n t o t h e

r o o m w h

e r e t h e

o l d e r b o y s

w e r e

s e t t i n g u p

t h e b o a r d

g a m e A s t h e

g a m e s t a r t e d

w i t h

e v e r y o n e s t r a t e g i c a l l y

p l a c i n g

t h e i r g a m

e

p i e c e s

I f e l t l i k e

I w

a s d r e a

m i n g F o r

t h e fi r s t t i m

e

I f e l t e q u a l t o

m y b r o t h e r mdash

n o t l i k e I

w a s j u s t h i s

t a g a l o n g

T h e d r e a m

e n d e d q u i c k

l y h o w e v e r

T h e

g a m e w

a s t o u g h

a n d m y i n

e x p e r i e n c e

a n d l a c k

o f k n o w l e d g e

b e c

a m e

p a i n f u l l y o b v i o u s

a s t h e o t

h e r

p l a y e r s q u i c k l y

a n d

s o u n d l y d e f e a t e d

m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2752

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2852

26 N e w E r a

Le983137r983150i983150983143 the i983150s 983137983150d outs of d983137ti983150983143 c983137983150 be h983137rd Let this course tur983150 you

i983150to 983137 d983137ti983150983143 983152ro

By Matthew ORichardson

Served as Second

Counselor in theSunday SchoolGeneral Presidencyfrom 2009 to 2014

hile speaking to youth about how to prepare for a celestial marriage

President Thomas S Monson emphasized that ldquoproper dating is a part

of preparation for marriagerdquo 1 Have you thought much about happy

relationships Elder Russell M Nelson of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said a ldquocelestial marriage brings greater possibilities for happiness than

does any other relationshiprdquo2

When I was serving as bishop in a young single adult ward I worried about those

who approached dating with very little purpose understanding or direction This

caused me to wonder if my own children would be any different when their time came

My wife and I decided to help our children prepare for ldquoproper datingrdquo and happy rela-tionships by creating the Richardson Dating Academy or RDA as our children call it

It wasnrsquot long after we started the RDA that friends of our children wanted to partici-

pate and even become RDA graduates So how about you Are you ready to become a

dating academy graduate yourself Class is in session

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2952

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 27

Lesso983150 1 ur983152oses 983137983150d St983137983150d983137rds of D983137ti983150983143

Lesso983150 2 W983137tch 983137983150d Le983137r983150

Homework

As you know ldquodatingrdquo means different things to differ-

ent people Your first assignment is to figure out just what

a ldquodaterdquo is according to Church standards Can you explain

the purposes of dating and the specific dating standards and

guidelines set by the Church Or do you know when itrsquosmost appropriate to be involved in dating and steady dating

(having a boyfriend or girlfriend)

You can find answers to these questions in the ldquoDatingrdquo

section of For the Strength of Youth The First Presidency

reminds us why knowing and understanding these stan-

dards are so important They promise ldquoThe standards in this

Elder Jeffrey R Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles once explained that most athletic contests have ldquolines

drawn on the floor or the field within which every participant

must stay in order to competerdquo3 Success depends on how

well a competitor knows and stays within the set boundaries

Likewise itrsquos important to know the ldquodating linesrdquo or the pur-

poses and standards of dating as taught by Church leaders

One of the most com-

mon ways people learn

is by watching others

Dating is no different

In the dating academy

we spend time observ-

ing others in dating

situations In our family

we learned many point-ersmdashsome to do others

to avoidmdashby watching

dates in progress at

restaurants and other

settings Yes we went to

certain places with the

sole purpose to observe

dates for ldquoclassrdquo

booklet will help you with the important choices you are

making now and will yet make in the futurerdquo4

Now that you have a solid foundation of the stan-

dards and purposes of dating (you did do your home-

work and read that section didnrsquot you) itrsquos time to move

on to lesson 2

Tips

Here are some suggestions that will help you learn

as you observe

bull Watch but donrsquot be creepy This is about learning from

others but not stalking staring or even judging Look for

things you like and things you would like to avoid

bull Go to a variety of places and settings to observe others

Not every date is the same nor should it be Watch how thesetting affects the experience

bull Watch how people interact with each other Can you tell

who is with whom Are they paying attention to each

other In what ways Are they talking with each other Do

they look like they enjoy being with each other How can

you tell if they are having fun

bull Talk with a parent leader or good friends and share what

you noticed and what you learned

Homework

The next time you go

out to eat attend a movie

or go to almost any activ-

ity make an effort to look

around and see how other

people are interacting It

may surprise you to see

how much dating is actu-ally going on Take the

time to learn from those

around you by paying

attention to whatrsquos work-

ing and what isnrsquot

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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28 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 3 l983137983150983150i983150983143 983137 D983137te

Tips

bull Start planning early

bull Donrsquot be afraid to bounce ideas off your friendsparents and others They can provide excellent

suggestions that you havenrsquot even thought about

bull Make sure you let your budget amount of time

available the reasons for dating and Church stan-

dards guide your planning

bull Think of what you hope will happen during the

date from beginning to end This helps you realize

what needs to be done to make the date a success

bull Pay attention to details Call ahead for event times

prices menus and what the proper dress is for

the occasion

bull Plan for emergencies For example what will you

do if you donrsquot have enough money or have car

trouble What if your date gets sick

Homework

Rather than leaving everything to chance dating acad-

emy grads understand what needs to happen and theyplan accordingly

Your homework assignment even if yoursquore years away

from dating is to practice planning an event You can

brainstorm with friends really fun ideas for a date Then

work together to think of what planning is required to

make those ideas actually happen Or you can ask your

parents to let you plan the next family outing

You might choose a place to eat or what to do Plan all

the details (event times travel time cost backup plans)

and then put your plan into action You could evencome up with a dating plan complete with backup ideas

if something goes wrong and share it in family home

evening while talking together around the dinner table

or with friends You may find that properly planning an

activity is almost as much fun as the actual date

The quality of experience yoursquoll have with others is

often determined by what happens before a date begins

Showing up on your datersquos doorstep with no plan is a

recipe for an awkward experience Nobody likes playing

the ldquoWhat do you want to dordquo game

Yoursquore better than that With a little practice you can

become a date-planning champion And young women

no fair skipping this section While most of the time young

men plan and ask for dates yoursquoll still want to have these

skills down for when itrsquos your turn

Group Date IdeasNeed ideas Check out ldsorggoideasNE8 Some

of the youth activities there could be adapted for dates

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Homework

In the Richardson Dating Academy all of our

children practiced dating invitations For example

our children might call an aunt older sibling or other

family member to practice inviting someone on a

date Or our son or daughter would receive an invita-

tion from a family member and practice responding

They learned how to deal with rejection acceptance

or even a disinterested response or two

Now itrsquos your turn Working with your parents ask

them to line up somebody in your family you can call

and practice inviting on a date Make sure you do this

more than once

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 29

You know your dating standards front and back

yoursquove watched others in dating situations and

yoursquove come up with a solid date plan

Congratulations Now you still need to invite

someone Or you need to know how to respond

when you are invited So whatrsquos the best way A

phone call Ask in person Here are some different

points to consider

Lesso983150 4 I983150viti983150983143 Others 983137983150d Bei983150983143 I983150vited

Tips

bull Be ready to give details when you invite

someone on a date Talk about what you have

planned start and end times whorsquos participat-ing and how they should dress (casual dressy

etc) Your excellent planning from academy

lesson 3 makes this part of the academy easy

bull Therersquos a time to talk by phone and a time to

ask face-to-face The more important the event

is the more personal the invitation should be

Donrsquot be afraid to skip technology and actually

talk with someone

bull Some events may require you to speak with

your datersquos parents first This shows respectand courtesy

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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30 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 5 O983150 the D983137te

It would be impossible for any dating academy to cover

every little thing to consider or plan for in dating So much

depends on good judgment communication with your par-

ents and listening to the Spirit

Still here are a few key points you might want to brush

up on before putting your date plan into action

Tips

bull Develop a ldquoyou firstrdquo attitude This means you always

think of your date first Is he or she having fun Is he or

she comfortable

bull Make sure you dress appropriately for the occasion

The way you dress usually communicates how you feelabout others and about the event Know the difference

between casual (but never sloppy) semiformal and

formal and when it would be appropriate to dress in

those ways

bull Show common courtesy by opening doors saying

thank you talking less about yourself and more about

your date and extending sincere compliments

bull Learn how to navigate restaurants Know how to make

a reservation get a table calculate a service tip and

pay the bill

Homework

Once again the best way to learn any good skill is by practic-

ing it Our youth enjoyed role-playing different situations

to think about how to act most appropriately We

also loved going out to eat as part of the dating acad-

emy experience Our children learned how to act in

a restaurant order a meal calculate the tip and paythe bill by actually doing it when they were with us

Look for opportunities to practice skills you should use on a

date For example the next time you and your family go some-

where ask your parents to let you purchase the tickets order

the meal or calculate the tip Treat your family or friends with

the same respect and courtesy that you should show others on a

date Open doors for your family be the first to say ldquothank yourdquo

and pay attention so you are part of the conversation

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 31

Lesso983150 6 The Doorste983152

NOTES

1 Thomas S Monson ldquoPreparation BringsBlessingsrdquo Ensign May 2010 64

2 Russell M Nelson ldquoCelestial Marriagerdquo Ensign Nov 2008 93

3 Jeffrey R Holland ldquoWe Are All Enlistedrdquo Ensign Nov 2011 45

4 ldquoMessage to the Youth from The First Presi-dencyrdquo For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

5 John Bytheway ldquoWhat Do Kisses Meanrdquo New Era Oct 2004 38ndash41

Last but not least dating

academy graduates know how

to conclude a date on the right

note Nothing sours a great date

more than a bad ending

Herersquos how you can finish a

date with success

Tips

bull Express gratitude Be sincere

and to the point If there was something you especially

liked tell your date what

it was

bull Therersquos no reason for drag-

ging things on at this point

Yoursquove already spent plenty

of time together Avoid the

ldquodoorstep shufflerdquo When

people arenrsquot sure what to

say they tend to shuffle backand forth or move their feet

in place If you find yourself

ldquoshufflingrdquo in place itrsquos a

pretty good signal that you

need to say good-bye

bull Know and follow the

Churchrsquos counsel on kissing

and physical intimacy (You

might also want to read John

Bythewayrsquos article ldquoWhat Do

Kisses Meanrdquo5 at ldsorggo

kissesNE8)

Homework

Yes herersquos another opportunity for practicing Our family has spent several family

home evenings role-playing doorstep good-byes Itrsquos been both helpful and fun to

watch an older sibling coach the younger sibling with dorsquos and donrsquots

Most memorable was an older sister showing how she could turn a hug into a

handshake with the grace of a princess and the speed of a ninja You too can get

together with family members and role-play different scenarios that might happen on

a doorstep We guarantee itrsquoll be an academy night yoursquoll all remember

Gr983137du983137tio983150

If yoursquove studied all the

material worked on the tips done

the homework and talked through

the lessons with your parents and

family you too can become a

dating academy graduate

As you continue strengthening

these important skills yoursquoll find

support strength and power that

will bless your relationships both

now and in the future You will be

better prepared for happiness NE

Do Try This at HomeInterested in having a dating academy at

home Let your parents know therersquos an RDAarticle for them in this monthrsquos Ensign or atldsorggoRDA

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32 N e w E r a

S U N DA Y L E S S

O N S

This Monthrsquos Topic

Ma r r iage a nd

Fa m i l y

MARRIAGE IS WORTH ITldquoIt is so rewarding to bemarried Marriage is wonder-ful In time you begin to thinkalike and have the same ideasand impressions You havetimes when you are extremelyhappy times of testing andtimes of trial but the Lordguides you through all ofthose growth experiencestogetherrdquo

Elder Richard G Scott of the

Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo

Ensign May 2011 96

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 33

We love being marr ied and he

rersquos why

By Ben and Rachel Nielsen

Letrsquos face it girls (and boys) itrsquos nice to know that someone loves you

And when yoursquore married you have chances to share and receive love every

day When I was talking to my parents about the possibility of marrying

Ben my dad said ldquoWhomever you choose to marry I want him to fre-

quently and sincerely express his love for you like Elder Richard G Scott did

for his wiferdquo3 I listened to Dad

I decided to marry Ben and he has always made an effort to express

his love to me in small and big ways During my senior year of college I

worked for months to prepare apply and interview for a prestigious intern-ship And when I finally heard that I got the job I came home and saw a

vase full of flowers from my husband He knew how hard I had worked and

how much the internship meant to me At other times hersquoll hide my favorite

drink and a love note in the fridge before he heads out for a weekend Scout

camp And every day hersquoll do the dishes and make me laugh Ben is great at

expressing his love for me and that brings both of us great joy

During my mission in Brazil I grew to love soccer One thing that I lovemost about this sport is having teammates and learning how to work together

with my team Rachel is a fantastic teammate She helps me achieve my

goals joins me in making important decisions and is there for me when I

have trouble

When we were sealed in the temple we promised to ldquohelp one another as

equal partnersrdquo2 Rachel and I strive to support each other in everything we

do and itrsquos great to know that I always have a reliable teammate

After our first date we both

knew we wanted to go

on a second date Ben

wanted to go on

another date because Rachel was

friendly and fun to talk to Rachel

wanted to go on another date

because Ben was a gentleman

and was still smiling after all of

his well-laid plans fell through

After the second date plus manymore dates and prayers after

that we fell in love and decided

to get married in the Sacramento

California Temple

The wedding day was abso-

lutely perfect and we have loved

being married ever since The

world may see marriage differ-

ently but we know that ldquono other

relationship of any kind canbring as much joy generate as

much good or produce as much

personal refinementrdquo1 Marriage

is awesome and herersquos why

FROM BEN A T e a m m a t e

FROM RACHEL

E x p r e s s i o n s o f L o v e

WHY MARRIAGE IS

A w e s o m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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34 N e w E r a

JOIN THE CONVERSATION

Things to Ponder for Sunday

bull What qualities and attitudes make for the strongest

and happiest marriages and families

bull What are you doing now that will help your future

marriage and family stay strong and happy

Things You Might Do

bull Share with some friends your goal of marrying and

having a family and tell them why

bull In church share why you are looking forward

to marriage and family and how you are pre-

paring for them

serving in the Church and inviting others to come unto

Christ As we work together to build the kingdom of God

we grow closer our love deepens and life is more fulfilling

Dating Rachel is so much fun In fact we make surethat we still frequently go on dates even as a married

couple After we first met we found that we enjoy many

of the same activities walking through parks attending

plays watching sporting events eating new and different

food listening to music and so much more I loved doing

these things before I met Rachel but theyrsquore even more

fun now that we get to share them together When yoursquore

married you have someone to enjoy life withmdashand that

makes life awesome

Before I met Ben I was nearing the age of missionary

service and had seriously considered serving a full-time

mission But then Ben entered my life and I knew that

Heavenly Father had a different plan for me

When Ben and I got engaged relatives who knew

about my thoughts to serve a mission asked me about my

choice and I would tell them ldquoI decided that I wanted topick my own missionary companionmdashand stay with him

for eternityrdquo

When yoursquore married you and your spouse have the

chance to participate in the work of salvation together

Ben and I have found great joy in building a Christ-

centered home studying and living the gospel together

Despite what the world may say marriage is awesome

and is worth making a priority When yoursquore married you

have a teammate you give and receive love you enjoy life

more fully and you have someone to build the kingdom

of God with All of that brings us great joy and because

we were sealed in the temple we can have this joy forever

If we keep our covenants we will be together for eternityand receive the crowning blessings of the priesthood We

ldquohave found in marriage the richest fulfillment of human

existencerdquo 4 NE

Ben and Rachel Nielsen live in Utah USA

NOTES

1 L Whitney Clayton ldquoMarriage Watch and Learnrdquo Ensign May 2013 83 2 ldquoThe Family A Proclamation to the Worldrdquo Ensign Nov 2010 129 3 See Richard G Scott ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo Ensign May

2011 96 4 James E Faust ldquoEnriching Your Marriagerdquo Ensign Apr 2007 6

FROM BEN M o r e E n jo y m e n t

FROM RACHEL A n E t e r n a l M is s i o n a r y C o m p a n io n

TAKE IT FROM US

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Your family can help unite the family of GodYou can all share the gospel in natural and pleasant ways

P H O T O I L L U S T R A T I O N B Y D A V I D S T O K E R

M O R M O N A D

(See M Russell Ballard ldquoPut Your Trust in the Lordrdquo Ensign Nov 2013 43)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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36 N e w E r a

By Alex Larsen

I always knew I wanted to be a mother but when I was grow-

ing up it wasnrsquot always on my mind When my fianceacute and I

were engaged one day I was talking with one of my college

professorsmdasha woman I greatly admiredmdashabout my engage-

ment She said something that brought my life choices into sharp

focus ldquoYou are wasting your talentrdquo she told me as she shook

her head She went on to say that someone as smart as I was

should not get married young She assumed I would have chil-

dren in my future and would be ldquothrowing awayrdquo my education

and chances of a stellar career on my future motherhood I could

tell by the way she looked at me that she thought I was making

a terrible and naiumlve mistake

Itrsquos been several years since that conversation and my hus-

band and I have two little girls Kate is three years old and is

my little sweetheart She moves through life at a leisurely pace

savoring all of the little details she notices Annabel is one yearold with bright blue eyes and a head of curls Shersquos exuberant

and determined Though I didnrsquot change my mind because of

what my professor said our discussion has stayed with me In

one way my professorrsquos predictions were correct I do not have

a prestigious working career But my professor got the most

important point wrong because I have wasted nothing

g i v i n

g u p e v e r y

t hi n g

but wh a t

I

g a i n ed

w as w o r t h so much m o r e

T h e wor l d t o l d me

I w ould

b e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 37

their spirits growing and developing I remember

the first time Kate pointed to a picture of the Savior and

said ldquoJesusrdquo I knew then that what I was doing was eter-

nally significant in the lives of my children

The world often tells us that lifersquos rewards come in

the form of status money or grand accomplishments

but I know therersquos great satisfaction even in the small

acts of changing diapers or wiping sticky fingers Every

little thing I do as a mother is part of helping to build the

kingdom of God by nurturing His children I always knew

I wanted children but it was not until I held my first baby

in my arms that I began to realize how much my heart

was capable of loving

The love I have for my daughters has helped me bet-

ter understand how much my Heavenly Father loves all

of His children When speaking of little children Jesustaught that ldquoof such is the kingdom of heavenrdquo (Matthew

1914) More than anything motherhood has helped me

to grow as a daughter of God because now I know what

a daughter of God looks like from the eyes of a parent

The world makes us think that a woman loses herself in

motherhoodmdashshe loses her body her free time and her

career But I have found myself in motherhood I feel

more beautiful and more valuable than ever before NE

Alex Larsen lives in California USA

I love the opportunity to stay home and care for my

young children because these are the most formative

years of their lives I have the opportunity to create a rich

home environment for my girls by reading and discussing

things with them as part of our everyday life Kate will

often astound me by remembering and commenting on

something wersquod read in a book several weeks before and

Annabel learns a new skill almost every day But as fun

and important as it is to watch them learn new

information and skills I feel the

most satisfied when I see

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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38 N e w E r a

One o f t h e g r e a t e s t ad v enture s o f y o u r l i f e w i l l b e y our rol e a n d c a l l i n g a s a f a t her

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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ROcksROcksROcks

NOTE

1 See Thomas S Monson ldquoWelcome to Conferencerdquo Ensign Nov 2012 4ndash5

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 39

DA D D A DD AD

By Chris Deaver

W

hen I was younger I loved spending time

with my dad He always knew the bestgames to play the best stories to tell at night

and the most interesting sports to try It was

like he was born to be a great dad

Fast-forward my life to when I married my sweetheart

Julia and then even further to the moment that our first

child Daniel was born I was filled with a rush of emo-

tions I was happy shocked amazed and a little scared

I felt totally inadequate to be a father and to have the

responsibility of teaching and being an example to my son

But I quickly realized that Irsquod been preparing all my life tobe a dad When I held my son in my arms for the first time

and looked down into his face I felt the Spirit touch my

heart and I realized that I was ready to try to be a great

dad just like my own dad was to me

When Daniel was very young he already had a great

sense of humor He learned to tell hilarious jokes that

would make my wife and me laugh He also often said

things that inspired us Shortly after hearing President

Thomas S Monson announce the change in age require-

ments for young men and young women preparingto serve missions1 we were driving in the car Daniel

announced that he would start preparing himself right

then at age six so he would have 12 years of preparation

Then he said with a smile ldquoDad can I change the song

from lsquoI Hope They Call Me on a Missionrsquo to lsquoI AM Going on

a Missionrsquordquo It was awesome

WHYbeing a

Three years after Daniel was born he was followed by his

brother Austin For me as a dad itrsquos been great to watch bothboys become best friends And Austin has been just as fun

as Daniel in his own way He enjoys building and destroying

block towers and one of his favorite activities is to fearlessly

wrestle me as if I stand no chance against his four-year-old

powers Of course I give in and let him winmdashso I guess I

reinforce his belief But itrsquos so much fun I know hersquoll be a

great wrestler but what I want most is for him to wrestle

ldquoagainst the rulers of the darkness of this worldrdquo and ldquoagainst

spiritual wickednessrdquo like it says in the scriptures (Ephesians

612) And I hope Irsquom helping to prepare him to do that We just recently had our third child a baby girl named

Faith During the delivery my wife was having some com-

plications and we were scared for our baby I gave Julia

a blessing Then she asked me to sing to her The Spirit

brought peace to both of us Soon baby Faith came safely

into the world It was a miracle and she definitely lived up

to her name Faithrsquos beautiful smile brightens my life I canrsquot

express in words how much she means to me

For any young man still wondering let me tell you You

were born to be a great dad The world may not agree butfatherhood is the best Someday yoursquoll find that your kids

inspire you too and that being a dad is the greatest adven-

ture of your life Yes itrsquos a duty and something you need to

take seriously but being a dad is unlike anything else NE

Chris Deaver lives in Florida USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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40 N e w E r a

We always seem to be encouraged to read more

because well everyone knows that reading is a

good thing But not all books are worth reading and just

because sexual material is written about rather than pho-

tographed or video recorded doesnrsquot mean that itrsquos less

morally hazardous Making a common display of a sacred

intimacy thatrsquos intended to only be part of a marriage rela-

tionship is wrongmdashwhether in words or imagesIf something yoursquore reading contains explicit sexual

descriptions that imprint themselves on your mind and

arouse sexual feelings in the same way that looking at

pornographic images would then guess what Itrsquos pornog-

raphy Remember the counsel in For the Strength of Youth

ldquoChoose wisely when using media because whatever you

read listen to or look at has an effect on you Select only

media that uplifts yourdquo ([2011] 11) NE

T O T H E P O I N T

President Boyd K

Packer President of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoEach

of us must come to ourown personal testimony

of the Lord Jesus Christ

We then share that testi-

mony with our family and

othersrdquo1 It can sometimes

be easy to question the

depth of your testimony

I know looking at pornographic

pictures is wrong but whatabout reading books with

ldquoromanticrdquo scenes

If I donrsquot have a burning

desire to share thegospel does that mean I

donrsquot have a testimony

when you compare your-

self to people like Brigham

Young who once said ldquoI

wanted to thunder and

roar out the gospel to thenations It burned in my

bones like fire pent uprdquo2

So what if you donrsquot feel

fire in your bones

Hopefully your lack of

desire doesnrsquot come from

a lack of concern for your

fellowmen As your faith in

Jesus Christ grows so does

your love of all people a

love that is a mark of the

true followers of Christ (see

Moroni 748 John 1335)

Itrsquos likely however

that your hesitancy sim-

ply comes from fear and

anxiety about speaking toothers For many people

such feelings can be over-

whelming Even prophets

have had doubts about their

ability to speak to people

(see Exodus 410 Moses

631) They of course

had no reason to question

their testimoniesmdashand

neither should you if you

are studying the scriptures

pondering praying fasting

repenting and doing all the

other things that help bring

the Spirit into your life

If you feel you just

need a little extra cour-age to share the gos-

pel visit ldsorggo

shareNE8 for ideas NE

NOTES

1 Boyd K Packer ldquoThe Witnessrdquo Ensign May 2014 96

2 Teachings of Presidents ofthe Church Brigham Young (1997) viii

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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C O M E F O L L O W M E

Family

983152983137tter983150 of

President Boyd K PackerPresident of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

April 2014 general conference

The ultimate end

of all activity in

the Church is that

a man and his wife

and their childrencan be happy

at home

The FamilyYoursquoll be studying about the family in your Sunday classes

this month As you study and discuss family you may pon-der these questions Why do Church leaders emphasize

family so much What is the place of family in Heavenly

Fatherrsquos plan How does family help make us happy

To find some answers to these questions see the

family proclamation near the back of your Personal

Progress or Duty to God booklet or online at ldsorg

gofamilyNE8 Yoursquoll also find teachings about

family relationships in general conference talks at

conferenceldsorg

Give yourself an easy reminder to prepare for your

Sunday lessons on the family Just place these cards

in your scriptures locker or bedroom You can also

download or share them online at ldsorggocardsNE8 B A C K G R O U N D T E X T U R E

B Y I S T O C K P H O T O T H I N K S T O C K

We 983150eed We 983150eed

MOR E

983155tre983150983143the983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

RELATIONSHIPS

983153u983137lity 983153u983137lity TIME amp EFFORT INTO

TO PUT

983155re983150983143te983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4452

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4552

T H E E X T R A S M I L E

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 43

I dont like to pack so I rsquo m just wearing all my stuff

JON CLARK

W h a t m a k e s y o

u t h i n k

D a d rsquo s t a l k i n g t o

t h e

p r o p h e t

B ecaus e h e s ai d h e w as on a conf er ence cal l

RYAN STOKER

F r o m n o w o n j u s t t a k e

a p i c t u r e o f t h e t o o t h a n

d

u p l o a d i t t o m y F a c e b o o k

p a g e

a n d t h e n I rsquo l l s e n d y o u t h e

m o n e y t h r o u g h P a y P a l

RANDY GLASBERGEN

[Gasp] He he made h is bed this morning

And I didnrsquo t even ask

VAL CHADWICK BAGLEY

Who says there arenrsquo t modern m iracles

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4652

44 N e w E r a

ldquoMymom works

Since you donrsquot see your mom often make sure that

the time you do have together is used well You

could talk to your mom about how to do this She

wants a good relationship with you too and will

help you work on it Try asking her what she would

appreciate coming home to a clean house doing an activity

together just talking with you As you regularly do activities your mom appreciates your relationship will improve

Of course you could plan some fun activities to do together

but any meaningful time togethermdashsuch as washing the dishes

or reading the scripturesmdashcan be a great way to build your

relationship

Also plan time for communication Understanding one

another is a key ingredient in good relationships One thing

to discuss is how your momrsquos work schedule will affect your

relationship with her You can avoid misunderstandings if you

talk about your expectations as well as your momrsquosPrayer will help Families are important to Heavenly Father

so He can inspire you to know how to improve your relation-

ship with your mom Donrsquot ignore a prompting to do something

that seems small (see Alma 376) A hug and a smile for exam-

ple can make a big difference NE

Write a Note

Even if you have very

little time together you

can still express your

love to your mother

Write her thoughtful secret notes As

she reads them at work she will think

of you Do as much as you can for

her Think about her more often and

pray for her Ask the Lord to inspire

you and prompt you regarding how

you can improve your relationship Irinka E 20 Odessa Ukraine

Seek to Understand Her

Try to understand her situation

because she works for your benefit

You can begin by helping with things

at home like cleaning the house

helping your siblings and cooking

You also can share scriptures with

your mom pray together and doactivities that you like to do together

Morony M 18 Chihuahua Mexico

Have a Special Sunday

On some Sundays we

have a special lunch

or dinner with a new

dessert we talk and at

the end we sing hymns This brings

us together and helps us be betterfriends

Rebeca N 12 Satildeo Paulo Brazil

Try an Experiment

We arrange time to be together hav-

ing family home evening playing

games going to the beach having

lunch together All of this helps to

Q U E S T I O N S amp A N S W E R S

all day Howcan I improve our

relationshiprdquo

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keep the flame of a good relationship

alive When we disagree we avoid

criticizing I know that sometimes I

ask not to do housework but this

contributes to disharmony in the

home Since I began this experiment

mdashcomplaining less lowering my

voice helping more with housework

and talking more with my mothermdash

a sweet spirit has developed in our

home and we cooperate more

Glenda C 18 Bahia Brazil

Help at Home

Do some extra chores

around the house Your

mom has been work-

ing all day If she has

less work to do when she gets home

shersquoll probably be happier and have

more time to talk and do things with

you While you are talking you canask about her day at work It will

show her that you care and it will

open doors for other topics of discus-

sion allowing you to grow closer

Heather B 18 Oregon USA

Find Something You BothLike to Do

My mumrsquos relationship with me

skyrocketed when I said ldquoI want tospend more time with you but I donrsquot

know what to do or when to do itrdquo

Playing board games happens to be

our favorite pastime So we set aside

a time together to play laugh and

make memories When you are open

with your parents eventually they

become your best companions You

UPCOMING QUESTION

ldquoMy parents just

got divorced Irsquom angry that they

have broken up our

family How doI forgive themrdquo

Send your answer and photo by

September 15 2014

Go to neweraldsorg click ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo enter your LDS Accountand then select ldquoNew Erardquo

Responses may be edited for length

or clarity

Responses are intended for help and per-

spective not as official pronouncements ofChurch doctrine

will be able to talk to them about

anything and you will be sure of an

honest answer That is the sign of a

mature relationship

Ephraim S 15 New South Wales Australia

Read Scriptures Together

Both of you could set a goal to read

together every day even just five

minutes from the Book of Mormon

or any other Church book It will

strengthen your relationship andnourish you with the word of God

so you can be ready to face each day

Remember also to pray to God and

ask for His help I know He hears you

and loves you

Laura M 19 Coacuterdoba Argentina

LEARN FROM

YOUR MOTHER

ldquoPlease look to yourfaithful mothers fora pattern to followModel yourselves

after them not after celebritieswhose standards are not the Lordrsquosstandards and whose values maynot reflect an eternal perspectiveLook to your mother Learn fromher strengths her courage andher faithfulness Listen to her She

may not be a whiz at texting shemay not even have a Facebookpage But when it comes to mat-ters of the heart and the thingsof the Lord she has a wealth ofknowledgerdquo

Elder M Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles ldquoMothers and Daughtersrdquo

Ensign May 2010 19

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46 N e w E r a

MISERABLE TOTHE END OFTHE STREET

For one family home evening my

dad wanted to take advantage

of a pause in the rainy weather

to go on a walk around the neighbor-

hood I grumbled and complained

that it was too wet and muddy to

go walking I used the excuse that

I had a ballet recital that week and

didnrsquot want to sprain an ankle but

my dad didnrsquot buy it He insisted thatit was going to be the activity for the

evening I murmured a bit more about

the unfairness and my recital but we

left on the walk anyway

As I glumly stomped outside for

the walk with my family I was deter-

mined not to smile or be happy I

succeeded in feeling miserable until

I N S T A N T M E S S A G E S

we reached the end of the street Then

we turned the corner and I saw in full

force naturersquos beauty and wonder

Before me was a gorgeous sunset

and opposite it was a rainbow arching

above our neighborhood rooftops

I immediately forgot all about being

miserable and looked around in awe

On the way home I said a prayer of

gratitude thanking God for the beautyof His creations I later thanked my

dad for choosing the activity and for

allowing us to enjoy nature for that

family home evening

Jennie H North Carolina USA

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 47

STANDARDS AND FRIENDS

Since Irsquove been in school Irsquove had friends who havenrsquot understood the

moral standards of our religion At first it was difficult but over time

my friends have become used to the idea of my being morally clean I

made a goal in my life to be clean and pure and itrsquos worked out well both

for me and for those who used to criticize me Over time respect peace and

joy have become a part of our loving circle of friends

Vitoacuteria M Brazil

A DIFFICULT DECISION

FORGIVINGMY FRIENDS

As the only member of the

Church in my peer group

Irsquove experienced some

instances when my friends have

offended me Sometimes they judge

and criticize my religion I feel so

alone yet Irsquom thankful I know the

standards of the Church

If my friends offend me I try to

humble myself and avoid contention

because I know contention is evil When they start discussing some mat-

ters about the Church I just testify of

my belief in the gospel

I always forgive my friends with or

without their apology Forgiving is not

just about saying ldquoApology acceptedrdquo

or ldquoItrsquos OKrdquo because forgiveness has

a deep meaning Jesus Christ atoned

for our sins so that Heavenly Father

can forgive usEven though my friends donrsquot

understand my faith now I know that

I can be Godrsquos instrument to teach

them the gospel I am helping them

and at the same time I am helping

myself to grow spiritually and prepare

to serve a mission

Joshua V Philippines

As volleyball tryouts approached for my senior year in high

school I couldnrsquot believe the thought that was running through

my head I wasnrsquot supposed to play volleyball Irsquod played vol-

leyball since seventh grademdashwhy should this year be any different

Not seeing the sense in quitting I ignored the feeling and continued

to participate in summer volleyball events After a while the feeling

came back so I decided that if I really wasnrsquot supposed to be on the

team my coach would just cut me during tryouts

Then one night at the gym I couldnrsquot focus on the game at all I felt

terrible and restless inside I came home frustrated with my team and

with myself I sat next to my mom and sister and cried I told them

how confused I was and my mom told me to pray and ask Heavenly

Father what He wanted me to do I went up to my room and began to

pray I told Heavenly Father how I felt then I asked Him to help mefeel peace if I was not supposed to continue playing volleyball I felt

His peace in my heart and knew that I needed to quit

Irsquom still not sure all the reasons why that was the right

decision but I know that itrsquos what the Lord

wanted me to do and thatrsquos a good

enough reason for me

The next morning I told my

coach and my teammates that

I wasnrsquot going to be playing

Even though it was incrediblyhard I knew I was doing

the right thing

Klaire B Arizona USA

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you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5252

WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8 N e w E r a

By Thomas E Robinson III

F R O M T H E M I S S I O N F I E L D

One small prompting can

change lives for the better

A M I RAC LE

ATT H E

AI RP O RT

s a new missionary in Japan I

had a hard time understanding

anyone let alone getting to

know them It was difficult

to learn to love people I didnrsquot even

know especially when I couldnrsquot

understand what they were saying

But I made an effort to show mylove for them and I appreciated their

efforts to reach out to me

Each week my companion and I

received a loaf of homemade bread

from a sister in the ward named Sister

Senba She showed her love for the

missionaries by baking homemade

bread and writing small but heartfelt

notes

I was touched that someone caredabout me I felt impressed to show my

gratitude to her in some small way

I wrote her a note expressing how

grateful I was for her and the sacri-

fices she and her family made to help

the missionaries We became friends

and I began to think of her as my

ldquomother away from homerdquo

A

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Months passed Early one

Wednesday morning I received a

call from my mission president

who asked me to transfer down to

Okinawa When I hung up the phone

I was filled with the most bittersweet

feeling I dreaded having to say my

good-byes Each phone call to tell

members of the ward I would be

leaving on the following day made

my heart hurt Saying good-bye to thepeople I had come to love so much

was more difficult than I had imag-

ined it would be

As I finished these calls I noticed

that the only one who had not

answered the phone was Sister Senba

I was sad I would not be able to say

good-bye to a member who had

become so close to my heart

The next morning two other mis-sionaries and I left for the airport

When we arrived at the ticket counter

and tried to buy tickets the work-

ers told us that our cards had been

declined We did not have any money

to pay for the tickets and the flight

was leaving in 10 minutes The three

of us were in a panic We were about

to miss the flight and be stranded at

the airport for the dayBut all of my panic turned to com-

fort when I turned around and saw

Sister Senba walk into the airport

I was shocked that she was there

because she hadnrsquot known what time

our flight was As she scrambled over

to us she smiled and gave us all bread

to bring onto the plane

As we explained to her that we

were going to miss our flight she

became saddened None of us knew

what to do Then Sister Senba began

rummaging through her purse look-

ing for something that could help us

She jumped happily into the air when

she found a small envelope in her

purse in which weeks ago she had

placed yen50000mdashthe exact amount of

money we needed She gave us the

At that moment I felt the Spirit

more strongly than I ever have before

Sister Senbarsquos example taught me how

important it is to follow the prompt-

ings of the Spiritmdashno matter how

small or strange the prompting might

seem Through these promptings we

have the power to change lives for

the better I know it was not a coinci-

dence that she came to the airport It

was a miracle

TRULY THE LORD USES SMALL MEANS TO

BRING ABOUT HIS WORK

money and we were able to get our

tickets in time We thanked her with

every ounce of gratitude our souls

could muster said good-bye and

rushed onto the plane After the plane took off my fellow

missionary turned to me and said

ldquoIsnrsquot she amazing That was

a miraclerdquo

I then realized how truly mirac-

ulous it really was He then said

ldquoWhat does your note sayrdquo I saw he

was reading a note that was with the

bread Sister Senba had given

him As I realized I had onetoo I pulled out the note

and read a small piece of

paper personally addressed

to me which immediately

made my eyes swell with

tears It said ldquoI love you

Please donrsquot forget me I

will never forget yourdquo

Truly the Lord uses small means to

bring about His work How blessed

we are as members of this Church to

have His influence in our lives Let

us all remain worthy to receive thesepromptings and bless the lives of the

children of God NE

Thomas E Robinson III lives in Utah USA

Editorrsquos note Sister Senba was promptly

reimbursed by the mission

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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When I got my first paycheck for my first real job (at a

sandwich shop) I rewarded myself with a shopping

spree I bought some music and a cute outfit After

spending every dollar Irsquod earned I thought about

my purchases

ldquoThere goes two whole weeks of workrdquo I

thought And a sick feeling started to grow inmy stomach

As I thought about all those hours of hard work mak-

ing sandwiches my superficial purchases hardly seemed

worth it I vowed to be more careful with my money

So from then on I saved every penny for college and a pos-

sible mission and never bought anything I wanted ever again

Yeah right

I was still a normal teenager who wanted stylish clothes

good music and fun activities with my friends But coming

from a big family I knew that if I wanted those things I wouldhave to save money to pay for them myself

It might sound impossible but I found ways to be finan-

cially prepared for the future and have fun at the same timemdash

even with a part-time job that didnrsquot pay very much Here are

some tips on how you can increase your ldquomoney smartsrdquo

10 N e w E r a

HOW TO BEMONEY SMART

By Arianne Cope

Y O U W O R K H A R D F O R Y O U R M O N E Y A fewi983149983152le 983152ri983150ci983152les c983137983150 983149983137ke your c983137sh 983143o further

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A BUDGET THAT WORKS

Yoursquove probably been told about budgets

from the day you earned your first nickel or

dime Thatrsquos because it really works A bud-get is a plan that will help you make the best

use of what you earn and save Herersquos one

way you can set up a budget of your own

1 Decide on a time frame for your budget

Most budgets plan for expenses monthly

2 Add up every dollar you plan to make

to figure out your expected income (Or

use last monthrsquos earnings for this monthrsquos

spending so you have an exact amount

available)

3 Calculate how much yoursquoll need to pay

for tithing along with any other offerings

you might want to give

4 Create a list of things you think yoursquoll pur-

chase throughout the month along with

how much theyrsquoll probably cost

5 Separate your needs from your wants

because yoursquoll want to spend your money

on needs first

6 Subtract the total cost of your needs from

your total income

7 Set aside a little money each month for

your wants

8 After paying for tithing and your imme-

diate needs put most of the money thatrsquos

left into savings Look to the future and set

a plan to save for college a mission (par-

ticularly young men) or other big things

Think about how much you need to save

every month to meet the financial goals

you have for those big things in the future

9 Remember that making your budget work

takes solid planning a strong commit-

ment and self-discipline Itrsquos tough but

itrsquos worth it

SHOPPING PRINCIPLES

If yoursquore like most teenagers yoursquore prob-

ably going to want to spend some of your

money at the mall at a store or online So

yoursquoll want to know some basic principles

about shopping before you go

bull Decide what yoursquore planning to buy

before you go shopping Then stick to

your plan and avoid the habit of buying

things on impulse

bull Buy something only if you really love it

Donrsquot let your friends a salesperson or an

advertisement talk you into buying some-

thing yoursquore not going to use often

bull Remember that the word sale doesnrsquot

always mean yoursquore getting a good deal

Look for the best quality at the lowest

price Sometimes that means paying a

little bit more for something that will last a

lot longer

bull Ask yourself if you can live without the

item Remember the old adage ldquoFix it up

wear it out make it do or do withoutrdquo

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 11

T H E B O O K O F M O R M O N

CONCERT

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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SOME FINAL TIPS

Just to finish here are some general

money-related guidelines to keep in mind

bull Keep track of your money and keep it in

a safe place

bull You canrsquot buy happiness but being will-

ing to share usually results in a smile

bull Avoid gambling of any kind

bull Be cautious of things that seem too good

to be truemdashthey usually are

The most important lesson about money

however is to keep in mind that wersquore not

here on earth to get rich or to have a lot of

fancy things Remember these truths from

the Doctrine and Covenants ldquoSeek not for

riches but for wisdom and behold the mys-

teries of God shall be unfolded unto you

and then shall you be made rich Behold he

that hath eternal life is richrdquo (DampC 67) NE

Arianne Cope lives in Utah USA

THE FUN STUFF

Herersquos a little-known fact a half-gallon

of ice cream from the grocery store tastes

almost as good as ice cream from an ice-cream shop Also a fact you can often buy

a half-gallon of ice cream for the same price

yoursquod pay for a single serving at an ice-

cream shop So if you need to save some

money suggest that your friends all split a

half-gallon from the store rather than spend-

ing a lot more at the ice-cream shop

And thatrsquos just one example of simple

money solutions You can be frugal in lots of

ways while still having a great time

bull Watch the newspaper or look online to

find free community or local events

bull If you want to see a movie go to a mati-

nee or a dollar theater for cheaper tickets

bull Plan ahead Make a list of ideas of free

things to do with your friends so you

wonrsquot rely on spending money to enter-

tain yourselves

bull Have fun outdoors without paying much

(if anything) Enjoy a campfire in the

canyon or on the beach or a free Frisbee

game at the parkmdashthey can be just

as much fun as going to a movie or a

concert

12 N e w E r a

FACT YOU CAN OFTEN BUY A HALF-GALLON OF

ICE CREAM FOR THE SAME PRICE YOUrsquoD PAY FOR A

SINGLE SERVING AT AN ICE-CREAM SHOP

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 13

3 Nephi 1815 20ndash21Jesus Christ taught the Nephites the importance of prayer

Editorrsquos note This page is not meant to be a com-

prehensive explanation of the selected seminary

scripture mastery verses only a starting point for

your own study

983148983141983155983156 983161983141 983138983141 983156983141983149983152983156983141983140

This is one of many scriptures

that teach how praying can help

us escape Satanrsquos temptations (see

also DampC 105 3112 and 6139)

Here are some other blessings thescriptures promise when you obey

the command to pray always What

blessings have you received

bull You will be worthy to stand in the

presence of God (see Luke 2136)

bull The Lord will consecrate your

efforts (see 2 Nephi 329)

bull The Spirit will be poured upon

you (see DampC 1938)

bull You will be given strength toendure (see DampC 88126)

bull Things will work out for your

good (see DampC 9024)

983152983154983137983161 983137983148983159983137983161983155

ldquoWe should be alone

with our Heavenly

Father at least two

or three times each

daymdashlsquomorning mid-day and eve-ningrsquo as the scripture indicates (Alma

3421) In addition we are told to

pray always (See 2 Ne 329 DampC

88126) This means that our hearts

should be full drawn out in prayer

unto our Heavenly Father continually

(See Alma 3427)rdquo

President Ezra Taft Benson (1899ndash1994) ldquoPray

Alwaysrdquo Ensign Feb 1990 2

L I N E U P O N L I N E

983159983144983137983156983155983151983141983158983141983154 983161983141 983155983144983137983148983148 983137983155983147

In the scriptures the Lord repeatedly

promises to answer our prayers if we

will but ask What can you learn from

these scriptures about how to ask and

receive answers What other scriptures

can you find that teach about this

bull James 15ndash6

bull 1 Nephi 1511

bull Enos 12ndash15

bull Mormon 921

bull DampC 810

bull DampC 4630ndash32

983159983144983145983139983144 983145983155 983154983145983143983144983156

ldquoHere the Savior

reminds us that faith

no matter how strong

it is cannot produce

a result contrary to the will of him

whose power it is The exercise of

faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is always

subject to the order of heaven to

the goodness and will and wisdom

and timing of the Lord That is why we cannot have true faith in the

Lord without also having complete

trust in the Lordrsquos will and in the

Lordrsquos timingrdquo

Elder Dallin H Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles ldquo lsquoFaith in the Lord Jesus Christrsquo rdquo

Ensign May 1994 100

983137983148983159983137983161983155 983145983150 983149983161 983150983137983149983141

Praying in Christrsquos name means

more than just ending our prayers

in the name of Jesus Christ The

Bible Dictionary teaches ldquoWe pray

in Christrsquos name when our mind isthe mind of Christ and our wishes

the wishes of Christmdashwhen His

words abide in us (John 157) We

then ask for things it is possible for

God to grant Many prayers remain

unanswered because they are not

in Christrsquos name at all they in no

way represent His mind but spring

out of the selfishness of manrsquos

heartrdquo (ldquoPrayerrdquo)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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By ElderJoseacute L Alonso

Of the Seventy

LINKED PRAYERS COUNSELING WITH THE LORD

ldquoThere may be things in our character in our behavior or concerningour spiritual growth about which we need to counsel with HeavenlyFather in morning prayer After expressing appropriate thanks for

blessings received we plead for understanding direction and helpto do the things we cannot do in our own strength alone

ldquoAt the end of our day we kneel again and report back to our Father We reviewthe events of the day and express heartfelt thanks for the blessings and the helpwe received We repent and with the assistance of the Spirit of the Lord identifyways we can do and become better tomorrow Thus our evening prayer buildsupon and is a continuation of our morning prayer And our evening prayer also is apreparation for meaningful morning prayerrdquo

Elder David A Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles ldquoPray Alwaysrdquo Ensign Nov 2008 41ndash42

14 N e w E r a

When I was 15 I went

to live with my father

while I finished high

school He lived and

worked in another city and had joined

the Church I didnrsquot know he was

a member but I saw that he acted

differently He acted with love and

kindness and was interested in myconcerns and needs

The first night I arrived I was

so hungry We sat down for dinner

and I started to eat but my father

said ldquoWait a minute We need to

prayrdquo I said ldquoWe need to what rdquo I

didnrsquot even know what the word

pray meant My father explained

that he was going to thank God our

Heavenly Father for the food we

had received from Him and then

we could eat My father prayed

and in his prayer he mentioned myname and asked for God to bless

me I felt something wonderful That

was the first time I felt the Spirit so

strongly in my life

My father taught me to pray to

Heavenly Father on my own Later

when the missionaries taught me

about Joseph Smithrsquos prayer I imme-

diately felt that it was possible for the

Lord to answer the prayer of a young

man The missionaries asked me to

read the Book of Mormon and to pray

to know if Jesus is the Christ if JosephSmith was a prophet and if the Book

of Mormon is true

That night I read the story in

3 Nephi 11 of when Jesus visits the

Nephites I was in a private place

so I got down on my knees and I

prayed Even though I was only 15 I

had faith that the Lord would answer

my prayer I received an impression

in my mind as clear as anything Ihad ever seen that Jesus is the Christ

Joseph Smith was a prophet and

the Book of Mormon is true I felt

like Joseph Smith after that prayer

I was so happy to truly know that

Heavenly Father answers prayers

from young people

Irsquod Never PRAYED BEFORE

i983150 Th983137t W983137y

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 15

WHAT KEPT ME STRONG

D983137ily P983137yer

As a teenager in an area with-

out a lot of Church members

I found that daily prayer was one

of the most important things that

helped me stay spiritually strong

I made sure to pray every day and

developed a pattern that helped

memdashmorning and evening prayers

When I heard

my father prayfor the rst timel felt something

wonderful

MORNING PRAYERS

Every morning I would share with

the Lord

bull My plans for the day

bull What I wanted to do

bull What I thought the Lord

wanted me to do

I would present my plans to

God and then ask for the Lordrsquos

help in accomplishing them

EVENING PRAYERS

Every evening I would

bull Report on how my day went

and if I had accomplished the

things I had set out to do

bull Share things that had been

difficult for me

bull Share things that I had learned

from people or through the

Spirit that dayThe more I prayed the more

I learned to understand and

receive impressions from the

Holy Ghost These impressions

helped me gain more strength

to follow the direction of the

Lord NE

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 1852

16 N e w E r a

With canteen in hand I was prepared for my

second 50-mile hike and campout in the

Uinta Mountains I was about as well pre-

pared as a 14-year-old could be My equip-

ment was all set to go my boots were sturdy and my pack

was full of all the essentials

The day of the hike arrived and our

leaders reminded our group of young men

that the mountains could be very danger-

ous Hikers and campers were often lost

in the rugged hills and on the numerous

trails We were warned not to wander

away from the path Our leadersmdashmy

father includedmdashall seemed concerned

for our safety and were anxious to keep

us from straying off of our chosen pathBeing one of the stronger hikers and

a leader in the group I soon found myself

and three other boys leading the way

Sometimes we waited for our group at the

forks in the trail to make sure we followed

the correct path and would not become lost

We hiked for hours laughing and joking all the way We

were having a great time Suddenly we heard frantic calls

and the sounds of running We knew something must have

gone wrong We wondered if maybe some of the grouphad become lost I was concerned for the friends Irsquod left

behind with the leaders Something bad must have happened

We stopped to listen so we could hear what the distant

voices were yelling We heard our names More specifically

I heard my name being called I recognized my fatherrsquos

voice We called back and heard their heavy footsteps coming

in our direction

Something bad had happened We learned that

four of the boys in our group had strayed from

the correct path and had become lost It was us

We were the ones who were lost My father was

thankful to have finally found us and together we

began the hike back to the correct trail

In my head I retraced my footsteps I couldnrsquot

figure out how Irsquod become lost I felt like I was

still on the original path Irsquod been so sure We

retraced our steps and my father showed us aturn we had missed It was just a small path with

a little hidden sign marking the correct way

We had hiked two miles off the right trail

We were thankful wersquod been found

before dark For the rest of the hike

we stayed close to our leaders and the rest of the

group and were never in danger again

Sometimes our overconfidence as youth

gives us an unrealistic sense of independence

We push on without consulting our parentsor leaders We fail to ask for advice We feel

By Duncan Anderson

Mile Hike

The

We stoppedto listen so we

could hear whatthe distant voices

were yellingWe heard ournames We

called back andheard their heavyfootsteps comingin our direction

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 17

certain wersquore headed in a direction leading to the right

destination We laugh and joke and enjoy the path until itrsquos

too late too dark and wersquore lost

When it comes to choosing the right trails in life our

Heavenly Father has provided tools to guide us and keep us

on the path that leads to Him We have the scriptures prayer

and revelation our parents guidelines like For the Strength

of Youth and our Church leaders to guide us through the

countless options life offers

When we do stray off the path itrsquos often our loving parents

and dedicated leaders who come to the rescue They can

guide us back to the correct way and show us where we

went wrong Through repentance we can correct those

wrongs and start fresh on the right path headed toward the

destination that will give us eternal happiness and a life in the

presence of our Heavenly Father NE

Duncan Anderson lives in Utah USA

CHOOSING RIGHT PATHS

ldquoI plead with you to make a determi-nation right here right now notto deviate from the path which willlead to our goal eternal life with ourFather in Heaven Along that straight

and true path there are other goals missionaryservice temple marriage Church activity scripturestudy prayer temple work There are countless wor-thy goals to reach as we travel through life Neededis our commitment to reach themrdquo

President Thomas S Monson ldquoThe Three Rs of Choicerdquo

Ensign Nov 2010 68

NEED ADVICE

Is there anything yoursquod like advice on Donrsquot be afraid to ask your

parents or Church leaders Remember they are there to help you

no matter what yoursquod like to talk about

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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One of the things we agree

to do as part of the bap-

tismal covenant is ldquoto

stand as witnesses of

God at all times and in all things and in

all places that [we] may be inrdquo (Mosiah

189) And incidentally we renew this

covenant every week when we partake

of the sacramentIn the April 2014 general conference

several speakers reminded us that there

will be times when standing as a witness

of God will mean having to face oppo-

sition criticism and ridicule So what

should you do when yoursquore required

to take the uncomfortable uncool or

unpopular step of defending your beliefs

By David A Edwards

Church Magazines

Be brave and humble firm and gentle

all at the same time With the Lordrsquos

help itrsquos not as hard as it sounds

18 N e w E r a

of Defe983150di983150983143Your Beliefs

Dorsquos 983137983150d

Donrsquots

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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you should rely on the Spiritto guide your defense of your

faith Bear testimony by the

Spirit Thatrsquos the Lordrsquos way

(See also DampC 1005ndash8)

The point here is not that

you should avoid any discus-

sion in which people have dif-

fering points of view Rather it

has to do with your intent as

well as the emotions involved

We should seek understand-

ing and try to persuade withmeekess not just score points

and prove wersquore right and

someone else is wrong A

discussion where people are

getting really worked up and

angry is one you should either

try to soften or simply avoid

Heavenly Father has given

you the gift of the Holy Ghost

and you should take advan-

tage of this gift This doesnrsquot

mean reason and logic canrsquot

be inspired or confirmed by

the Spirit it just means that

Elder W Craig Zwick of

the Seventy has explained

this scripture this way ldquoA lsquosoft

answerrsquo consists of a reasoned

responsemdashdisciplined words

from a humble heart It does

not mean we never speak

directly or that we compro-

mise doctrinal truth Words

that may be firm in infor-

mation can be soft in spiritrdquo

(ldquoWhat Are You Thinkingrdquo

Ensign May 2014 42)

ldquoA SOFT ANSWER TURNETH AWAY

wr983137thBUT

GRIEVOUS WORDS stir u983152 983137983150983143errdquo

(Proverbs 151)

ldquoBeholdI send you forthas sheep in the

midst of wolves be ye therefore wise as serpents

and h983137r983149less as dovesrdquo

(Matthew 1016)

The Savior doesnrsquot want

you to be ignorant or naiumlve

but He also doesnrsquot want you

to attack anyone Knowing

what goes on in the world

doesnrsquot mean we have to

use its tactics

ldquoCONTEND AGAINST

NO CHURCHrdquo (DampC 1820)

There is no need to

criticize other churches

Positive statements of your

beliefs rather than negative

statements about others will

be most effective As the

Prophet Joseph Smith said

ldquoWe donrsquot ask any people

to throw away any good

they have got we only ask

them to come and get morerdquo

(Teachings of Presidents

of the Church Joseph

Smith [2007] 155)

ldquoAND THOUSHALT DECLARE

983143l983137d tidi983150983143s ldquoAND THOU SHALTDO IT WITH 983137ll hu983149ilityTRUSTING IN ME 983154evili983150983143 983150ot

AGAINST REVILERSrdquo

(DampC 1929ndash30)

The tidings you declare

are glad Remember that

and make sure your face and

your voice show it too Also

the word revile here means

to hurl abusive or insulting

language at a person So if

ldquoFOR I AM

NOT ASHAMED

OF THE GOSPEL OF CHRISTrdquo

(Romans 116)

As President Thomas S

Monson has said ldquoWe will all

face fear experience ridiculeand meet opposition Let

usmdashall of usmdashhave the courage

to defy the consensus the

courage to stand for prin-

ciple Courage not com-

promise brings the smile of

Godrsquos approvalrdquo (ldquoBe Strong

and of a Good Couragerdquo

Ensign May 2014 69)

The scriptures give you some basic principles for standing up for your faith including the following

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 19

ldquoWe s983152e983137k

NOT IN THE WORDS which 983149983137983150rsquos

WISDOM TEACH ETH

but which THE HOLY GHOST

TEACHETHrdquo

(1 Corinthians 213)

ldquoHE THATHATH THE

SPIRIT OF CONTENTIONIS NOT OF ME

BUT ISOF THE DEVIL

WHO IS THE FATHER OFCONTENTION AND

HE STIRRETH UPTHE HEARTS

OF MEN

TO CONTEND WITH ANGER

ONE WITH ANOTHERrdquo(3 Nephi 1129)

HERErsquoS SOME ADVICE FROM THE SCRIPTURES

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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How Do You Defend Do you have experi-ence in defending yourbeliefs Or do you haveideas to add to theselists Go to ldsorggodefendNE8 and share

Finding Courage

Read more on this topic atldsorggocourageNE8

someonersquos doing that to you

donrsquot retaliate and do the

same thing back to them The

Apostle Peter taught that the

Savior Himself gave the exam-

ple you should follow in thisregard (see 1 Peter 223)

ldquoLOVE YOUR ENEMIESbless them

that curse you

DO GOOD TO T HEMTHAT HATE YOU

and pray for

them which

DESPITEFULLY USE YOUAND PERSECUTE YOUrdquo

(Matthew 544)ldquoSEE THAT YE ARE NOT lifted u983152 u983150to

983152ride ye983137 SEE THAT YE DO

NOT BOAST IN YOUR

OWN WISDOM

983150or of your 983149uch stre983150983143thldquoUSE BOLDNESS

BUT NOT

OVERBEARANCErdquo (Alma 3811ndash12)

Here the word tenets

refers to opinions or teachings

that go beyond the basics So

the Lord is saying to stick to

the basic message of the gos-

pel when yoursquore declaring Hisglad tidings This also applies

to defending your faith

You donrsquot need to stray into

detailed discussions about

every little thing related to the

Church As Elder Richard G

Scott of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles has said

ldquoKeep your sharing of the

gospel simple rdquo (ldquo lsquoI HaveGiven You an Examplerdquo

Ensign May 2014 34)

ldquoEveryone independent

of his or her decisions and

beliefs deserves our kind-

ness and considerationrdquo said

Elder Neil L Andersen of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles ldquoThe Savior

taught us to love not only

our friends but also those

who disagree with usmdashand

even those who repudiate

usrdquo (ldquoSpiritual Whirlwindsrdquo

Ensign May 2014 20)

Again be humble Itrsquos not

about you or how smart and

capable you are Also you can

be bold without making over-

blown statements or being

a verbal or intellectual bully

As Elder Jeffrey R Holland

of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoYou willone day find yourself called

upon to defend your faith

Such moments will require

both courage and courtesy

on your partrdquo (ldquoThe Costmdashand

Blessingsmdashof Discipleshiprdquo

Ensign May 2014 6)

ldquoA983150d of te983150ets thou sh983137lt 983150ot t983137lk but thou shalt

declare repentance andfaith on the Savior and 983154e983149issio983150 of si983150sby baptism and by fire

yea even the Holy Ghostrdquo(DampC 1931)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2452

22 N e w E r a

I received my first two-wheel bicycle

when I was eight years old With

the help of my older brother and

father I began the rather scary pro-

cess of figuring out how to ride it The other kids in the neighborhood

made it look so easy and natural as

they zoomed up and down the street

on their bikes I perched on the bike

seatmdashwhich seemed to be at least

10 feet (3 m) above the groundmdashand

realized there was absolutely noth-

ing to keep me from falling over and

proving that the law of gravity was

alive and well As I tried riding I learned quickly

that if I wanted to stay balanced I had

to keep pedaling When I first sat on

the seat speed was the last thing I

wanted to add to the already daunting

equation But I very soon understood

the wisdom and the physics involved

in moving forward As long as I kept

pedaling I could stay upright and

avoid the rough concrete just waiting

to take the skin off my arms and legs

Soon I was zipping around the neigh-

borhood with my friends

Defy Gr983137vity Defy Gr983137vity

of the First Presidency as outlined

in that booklet our lives will be bal-

anced and steady We will be led

where we want to go

We need to keep moving forwardto avoid falling To do that we should

consistently and faithfully do certain

actions

bull Pray morning and night

bull Study the scriptures daily

bull Attend Church meetings and par-

take of the sacrament worthily

bull Serve those around us

bull Be worthy to attend the temple

All of these actions keep us moving

forward in the right direction

Thatrsquos why reading and being famil-

iar with the standards described in For

the Strength of Youth will help ensure

we are making choices consistent with

Godrsquos standards Living these princi-

ples and keeping the commandments

F O R T H E S T R E N G T H O F Y O U T H

By Bonnie LOscarson

Young WomenGeneral President

As you keep moving forward you can stay upright even

when outside forces try to pull you down

Just as those who keep

pedaling a bike can stay

upright despite gravityrsquos

influence those who are

guided by the Holy Spirit in

all they do can withstand

the influence of theadversary

So it is with living the gospel and

the standards in For the Strength of

Youth It takes faith to believe that if

we consistently follow the counsel

GO FORWARD WITH FAITH

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 23

invite the Holy Ghost to be our con-

stant companion Just as those who

keep pedaling a bike can stay upright

despite gravityrsquos influence those who

are guided by the Holy Spirit in allthey do can withstand the influence of

the adversary

What are the destinations you have

in mind as you pedal forward For all

young men of the Aaronic Priesthood

preparing now for a full-time mission

is important in forward growth For

all youth being prepared to go to the

temple and receive the endowment by

making and keeping sacred covenantsshould also be a primary goal

As the message from the First

Presidency at the beginning of For the

Strength of Youth says ldquoIn all that you

do stay focused on the temple In the

temple you will receive the greatest

of all the Lordrsquos blessings including

marriage for time and all eternityrdquo1

Receiving the covenant of eternal

marriage in the house of the Lord and

becoming righteous husbands wives

fathers and mothers may seem far

down the road but the time to beginpreparing is now All of these things

lead to the most glorious and grand

destination of allmdasheternal life with

our Heavenly Father

One of my favorite scriptures

sums up what we need to do in order

to keep moving toward our goals

ldquoWherefore ye must press forward

with a steadfastness in Christ hav-

ing a perfect brightness of hopeand a love of God and of all men

Wherefore if ye shall press forward

feasting upon the word of Christ and

endure to the end behold thus saith

the Father Ye shall have eternal liferdquo

(2 Nephi 3120)

Just as I learned as an eight-year-

old girl that I needed to keep pedaling

and moving forward in order to defy

gravity and keep my balance on my

bicycle it is important for all of us to

keep moving forward with faith trust-

ing in the counsel of living prophetsand a loving Heavenly Father to keep

us from falling Some of our destina-

tions are just down the road while

others will take a lifetime of faithful

living to achieve The promises of

what lies at the end of the road if we

are faithful are certain and glorious

and well worth the ride NE

NOTE

1 For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

Learn MoreSee whatrsquos next in your covenant path

at ldsorggocovenantNE8

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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24 N e w E r a

BOA R D

GA M E S

B y Da vid Chris tensen

My chance to play le f t

a lasting impact but it

wasnrsquot what Irsquod e xpected

L o s i n

g s o

q u i c k

l y w

a s b

a d e

n o u

g h

b

u t t o

m a k

e m

a t t e r s

w o r s e

t h

e o t h

e r g

u y

s s t a r t e

d t o

m a k

e

f u n

o f

m e

I

t r i e d

t o c o

n t i n

u e

p l a y i n g

e v e

n t h

o u

g h

t h e y

w e r

e b

e i n

g m

e a n

b

u t i t

w a s h

a r d t o h o

l d b

a c k m y t e

a r s

o f f r u s t

r a t i o n

U

n f o

r t u n a t e l y

o n e t e

a r t r i c k l e

d d

o w

n m y

c h e e

k b

e f o

r e I

c o u

l d w i p

e i t

a w a y M

y b

r o t h

e r

s a w i t

a n d

t e a s e

d m

e t o

o

I c o

u l d

n rsquo t

t a k e i t

a n y

m o r e

a n d

r a n t o

m y

r o o m

I g a v e m y s e l

f a q u i c k p i n

c h

t o m a k e s u r

e I w a s n rsquo

t d r e a m i n g

a n d t h e

n I v o i c e d

a t i m i d ldquo Y e

a h

s u r e rdquo I s t

i l l c o u l d

n rsquo t b e l i e

v e t h a t

m y b r o t h e

r h a d i n v

i t e d m e t o

p l a y a g a m e w i t h

t h e ldquo b i g k i

d s rdquo

A f t e r a l l

I rsquo d b e e n t o l d f o r t h

r e e

y e a r s t h a

t I w a s s t i l l

t o o y o u

n g

t o p l a y m o r e d i f fi

c u l t b o a

r d

g a m e s w i t h m y b r o

t h e r a n d

h i s f r i e n d s

A N D B R O

T H

E R S

I

felt the hot tears of anger slowly slide

down my face I wiped them away with

my hand but I could still feel the

slightly salty taste on my lips assobs of anguish began to pour out

I just wanted to hang out with my

brother Why couldnrsquot he be my

friend too

J u s t a f e w

h o u r s

b e f o

r e I h a d

s t a r e d a t

m y o

l d e r b

r o t h

e r S t e v e

i n c o

m p

l e t e s u r p

r i s e

w a i t i n

g f o r h

i m t o

t e

l l

m e t h

a t h e w

a s o n

l y

j o k i n g ldquo W

e l l d o y o

u

w a n

t t o p

l a y rdquo S t e v e

a s k e d i m p

a

t i e n t l y

I w

e n t i n t o t h e

r o o m w h

e r e t h e

o l d e r b o y s

w e r e

s e t t i n g u p

t h e b o a r d

g a m e A s t h e

g a m e s t a r t e d

w i t h

e v e r y o n e s t r a t e g i c a l l y

p l a c i n g

t h e i r g a m

e

p i e c e s

I f e l t l i k e

I w

a s d r e a

m i n g F o r

t h e fi r s t t i m

e

I f e l t e q u a l t o

m y b r o t h e r mdash

n o t l i k e I

w a s j u s t h i s

t a g a l o n g

T h e d r e a m

e n d e d q u i c k

l y h o w e v e r

T h e

g a m e w

a s t o u g h

a n d m y i n

e x p e r i e n c e

a n d l a c k

o f k n o w l e d g e

b e c

a m e

p a i n f u l l y o b v i o u s

a s t h e o t

h e r

p l a y e r s q u i c k l y

a n d

s o u n d l y d e f e a t e d

m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2852

26 N e w E r a

Le983137r983150i983150983143 the i983150s 983137983150d outs of d983137ti983150983143 c983137983150 be h983137rd Let this course tur983150 you

i983150to 983137 d983137ti983150983143 983152ro

By Matthew ORichardson

Served as Second

Counselor in theSunday SchoolGeneral Presidencyfrom 2009 to 2014

hile speaking to youth about how to prepare for a celestial marriage

President Thomas S Monson emphasized that ldquoproper dating is a part

of preparation for marriagerdquo 1 Have you thought much about happy

relationships Elder Russell M Nelson of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said a ldquocelestial marriage brings greater possibilities for happiness than

does any other relationshiprdquo2

When I was serving as bishop in a young single adult ward I worried about those

who approached dating with very little purpose understanding or direction This

caused me to wonder if my own children would be any different when their time came

My wife and I decided to help our children prepare for ldquoproper datingrdquo and happy rela-tionships by creating the Richardson Dating Academy or RDA as our children call it

It wasnrsquot long after we started the RDA that friends of our children wanted to partici-

pate and even become RDA graduates So how about you Are you ready to become a

dating academy graduate yourself Class is in session

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 27

Lesso983150 1 ur983152oses 983137983150d St983137983150d983137rds of D983137ti983150983143

Lesso983150 2 W983137tch 983137983150d Le983137r983150

Homework

As you know ldquodatingrdquo means different things to differ-

ent people Your first assignment is to figure out just what

a ldquodaterdquo is according to Church standards Can you explain

the purposes of dating and the specific dating standards and

guidelines set by the Church Or do you know when itrsquosmost appropriate to be involved in dating and steady dating

(having a boyfriend or girlfriend)

You can find answers to these questions in the ldquoDatingrdquo

section of For the Strength of Youth The First Presidency

reminds us why knowing and understanding these stan-

dards are so important They promise ldquoThe standards in this

Elder Jeffrey R Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles once explained that most athletic contests have ldquolines

drawn on the floor or the field within which every participant

must stay in order to competerdquo3 Success depends on how

well a competitor knows and stays within the set boundaries

Likewise itrsquos important to know the ldquodating linesrdquo or the pur-

poses and standards of dating as taught by Church leaders

One of the most com-

mon ways people learn

is by watching others

Dating is no different

In the dating academy

we spend time observ-

ing others in dating

situations In our family

we learned many point-ersmdashsome to do others

to avoidmdashby watching

dates in progress at

restaurants and other

settings Yes we went to

certain places with the

sole purpose to observe

dates for ldquoclassrdquo

booklet will help you with the important choices you are

making now and will yet make in the futurerdquo4

Now that you have a solid foundation of the stan-

dards and purposes of dating (you did do your home-

work and read that section didnrsquot you) itrsquos time to move

on to lesson 2

Tips

Here are some suggestions that will help you learn

as you observe

bull Watch but donrsquot be creepy This is about learning from

others but not stalking staring or even judging Look for

things you like and things you would like to avoid

bull Go to a variety of places and settings to observe others

Not every date is the same nor should it be Watch how thesetting affects the experience

bull Watch how people interact with each other Can you tell

who is with whom Are they paying attention to each

other In what ways Are they talking with each other Do

they look like they enjoy being with each other How can

you tell if they are having fun

bull Talk with a parent leader or good friends and share what

you noticed and what you learned

Homework

The next time you go

out to eat attend a movie

or go to almost any activ-

ity make an effort to look

around and see how other

people are interacting It

may surprise you to see

how much dating is actu-ally going on Take the

time to learn from those

around you by paying

attention to whatrsquos work-

ing and what isnrsquot

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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28 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 3 l983137983150983150i983150983143 983137 D983137te

Tips

bull Start planning early

bull Donrsquot be afraid to bounce ideas off your friendsparents and others They can provide excellent

suggestions that you havenrsquot even thought about

bull Make sure you let your budget amount of time

available the reasons for dating and Church stan-

dards guide your planning

bull Think of what you hope will happen during the

date from beginning to end This helps you realize

what needs to be done to make the date a success

bull Pay attention to details Call ahead for event times

prices menus and what the proper dress is for

the occasion

bull Plan for emergencies For example what will you

do if you donrsquot have enough money or have car

trouble What if your date gets sick

Homework

Rather than leaving everything to chance dating acad-

emy grads understand what needs to happen and theyplan accordingly

Your homework assignment even if yoursquore years away

from dating is to practice planning an event You can

brainstorm with friends really fun ideas for a date Then

work together to think of what planning is required to

make those ideas actually happen Or you can ask your

parents to let you plan the next family outing

You might choose a place to eat or what to do Plan all

the details (event times travel time cost backup plans)

and then put your plan into action You could evencome up with a dating plan complete with backup ideas

if something goes wrong and share it in family home

evening while talking together around the dinner table

or with friends You may find that properly planning an

activity is almost as much fun as the actual date

The quality of experience yoursquoll have with others is

often determined by what happens before a date begins

Showing up on your datersquos doorstep with no plan is a

recipe for an awkward experience Nobody likes playing

the ldquoWhat do you want to dordquo game

Yoursquore better than that With a little practice you can

become a date-planning champion And young women

no fair skipping this section While most of the time young

men plan and ask for dates yoursquoll still want to have these

skills down for when itrsquos your turn

Group Date IdeasNeed ideas Check out ldsorggoideasNE8 Some

of the youth activities there could be adapted for dates

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 3152

Homework

In the Richardson Dating Academy all of our

children practiced dating invitations For example

our children might call an aunt older sibling or other

family member to practice inviting someone on a

date Or our son or daughter would receive an invita-

tion from a family member and practice responding

They learned how to deal with rejection acceptance

or even a disinterested response or two

Now itrsquos your turn Working with your parents ask

them to line up somebody in your family you can call

and practice inviting on a date Make sure you do this

more than once

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 29

You know your dating standards front and back

yoursquove watched others in dating situations and

yoursquove come up with a solid date plan

Congratulations Now you still need to invite

someone Or you need to know how to respond

when you are invited So whatrsquos the best way A

phone call Ask in person Here are some different

points to consider

Lesso983150 4 I983150viti983150983143 Others 983137983150d Bei983150983143 I983150vited

Tips

bull Be ready to give details when you invite

someone on a date Talk about what you have

planned start and end times whorsquos participat-ing and how they should dress (casual dressy

etc) Your excellent planning from academy

lesson 3 makes this part of the academy easy

bull Therersquos a time to talk by phone and a time to

ask face-to-face The more important the event

is the more personal the invitation should be

Donrsquot be afraid to skip technology and actually

talk with someone

bull Some events may require you to speak with

your datersquos parents first This shows respectand courtesy

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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30 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 5 O983150 the D983137te

It would be impossible for any dating academy to cover

every little thing to consider or plan for in dating So much

depends on good judgment communication with your par-

ents and listening to the Spirit

Still here are a few key points you might want to brush

up on before putting your date plan into action

Tips

bull Develop a ldquoyou firstrdquo attitude This means you always

think of your date first Is he or she having fun Is he or

she comfortable

bull Make sure you dress appropriately for the occasion

The way you dress usually communicates how you feelabout others and about the event Know the difference

between casual (but never sloppy) semiformal and

formal and when it would be appropriate to dress in

those ways

bull Show common courtesy by opening doors saying

thank you talking less about yourself and more about

your date and extending sincere compliments

bull Learn how to navigate restaurants Know how to make

a reservation get a table calculate a service tip and

pay the bill

Homework

Once again the best way to learn any good skill is by practic-

ing it Our youth enjoyed role-playing different situations

to think about how to act most appropriately We

also loved going out to eat as part of the dating acad-

emy experience Our children learned how to act in

a restaurant order a meal calculate the tip and paythe bill by actually doing it when they were with us

Look for opportunities to practice skills you should use on a

date For example the next time you and your family go some-

where ask your parents to let you purchase the tickets order

the meal or calculate the tip Treat your family or friends with

the same respect and courtesy that you should show others on a

date Open doors for your family be the first to say ldquothank yourdquo

and pay attention so you are part of the conversation

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 31

Lesso983150 6 The Doorste983152

NOTES

1 Thomas S Monson ldquoPreparation BringsBlessingsrdquo Ensign May 2010 64

2 Russell M Nelson ldquoCelestial Marriagerdquo Ensign Nov 2008 93

3 Jeffrey R Holland ldquoWe Are All Enlistedrdquo Ensign Nov 2011 45

4 ldquoMessage to the Youth from The First Presi-dencyrdquo For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

5 John Bytheway ldquoWhat Do Kisses Meanrdquo New Era Oct 2004 38ndash41

Last but not least dating

academy graduates know how

to conclude a date on the right

note Nothing sours a great date

more than a bad ending

Herersquos how you can finish a

date with success

Tips

bull Express gratitude Be sincere

and to the point If there was something you especially

liked tell your date what

it was

bull Therersquos no reason for drag-

ging things on at this point

Yoursquove already spent plenty

of time together Avoid the

ldquodoorstep shufflerdquo When

people arenrsquot sure what to

say they tend to shuffle backand forth or move their feet

in place If you find yourself

ldquoshufflingrdquo in place itrsquos a

pretty good signal that you

need to say good-bye

bull Know and follow the

Churchrsquos counsel on kissing

and physical intimacy (You

might also want to read John

Bythewayrsquos article ldquoWhat Do

Kisses Meanrdquo5 at ldsorggo

kissesNE8)

Homework

Yes herersquos another opportunity for practicing Our family has spent several family

home evenings role-playing doorstep good-byes Itrsquos been both helpful and fun to

watch an older sibling coach the younger sibling with dorsquos and donrsquots

Most memorable was an older sister showing how she could turn a hug into a

handshake with the grace of a princess and the speed of a ninja You too can get

together with family members and role-play different scenarios that might happen on

a doorstep We guarantee itrsquoll be an academy night yoursquoll all remember

Gr983137du983137tio983150

If yoursquove studied all the

material worked on the tips done

the homework and talked through

the lessons with your parents and

family you too can become a

dating academy graduate

As you continue strengthening

these important skills yoursquoll find

support strength and power that

will bless your relationships both

now and in the future You will be

better prepared for happiness NE

Do Try This at HomeInterested in having a dating academy at

home Let your parents know therersquos an RDAarticle for them in this monthrsquos Ensign or atldsorggoRDA

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32 N e w E r a

S U N DA Y L E S S

O N S

This Monthrsquos Topic

Ma r r iage a nd

Fa m i l y

MARRIAGE IS WORTH ITldquoIt is so rewarding to bemarried Marriage is wonder-ful In time you begin to thinkalike and have the same ideasand impressions You havetimes when you are extremelyhappy times of testing andtimes of trial but the Lordguides you through all ofthose growth experiencestogetherrdquo

Elder Richard G Scott of the

Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo

Ensign May 2011 96

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 33

We love being marr ied and he

rersquos why

By Ben and Rachel Nielsen

Letrsquos face it girls (and boys) itrsquos nice to know that someone loves you

And when yoursquore married you have chances to share and receive love every

day When I was talking to my parents about the possibility of marrying

Ben my dad said ldquoWhomever you choose to marry I want him to fre-

quently and sincerely express his love for you like Elder Richard G Scott did

for his wiferdquo3 I listened to Dad

I decided to marry Ben and he has always made an effort to express

his love to me in small and big ways During my senior year of college I

worked for months to prepare apply and interview for a prestigious intern-ship And when I finally heard that I got the job I came home and saw a

vase full of flowers from my husband He knew how hard I had worked and

how much the internship meant to me At other times hersquoll hide my favorite

drink and a love note in the fridge before he heads out for a weekend Scout

camp And every day hersquoll do the dishes and make me laugh Ben is great at

expressing his love for me and that brings both of us great joy

During my mission in Brazil I grew to love soccer One thing that I lovemost about this sport is having teammates and learning how to work together

with my team Rachel is a fantastic teammate She helps me achieve my

goals joins me in making important decisions and is there for me when I

have trouble

When we were sealed in the temple we promised to ldquohelp one another as

equal partnersrdquo2 Rachel and I strive to support each other in everything we

do and itrsquos great to know that I always have a reliable teammate

After our first date we both

knew we wanted to go

on a second date Ben

wanted to go on

another date because Rachel was

friendly and fun to talk to Rachel

wanted to go on another date

because Ben was a gentleman

and was still smiling after all of

his well-laid plans fell through

After the second date plus manymore dates and prayers after

that we fell in love and decided

to get married in the Sacramento

California Temple

The wedding day was abso-

lutely perfect and we have loved

being married ever since The

world may see marriage differ-

ently but we know that ldquono other

relationship of any kind canbring as much joy generate as

much good or produce as much

personal refinementrdquo1 Marriage

is awesome and herersquos why

FROM BEN A T e a m m a t e

FROM RACHEL

E x p r e s s i o n s o f L o v e

WHY MARRIAGE IS

A w e s o m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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34 N e w E r a

JOIN THE CONVERSATION

Things to Ponder for Sunday

bull What qualities and attitudes make for the strongest

and happiest marriages and families

bull What are you doing now that will help your future

marriage and family stay strong and happy

Things You Might Do

bull Share with some friends your goal of marrying and

having a family and tell them why

bull In church share why you are looking forward

to marriage and family and how you are pre-

paring for them

serving in the Church and inviting others to come unto

Christ As we work together to build the kingdom of God

we grow closer our love deepens and life is more fulfilling

Dating Rachel is so much fun In fact we make surethat we still frequently go on dates even as a married

couple After we first met we found that we enjoy many

of the same activities walking through parks attending

plays watching sporting events eating new and different

food listening to music and so much more I loved doing

these things before I met Rachel but theyrsquore even more

fun now that we get to share them together When yoursquore

married you have someone to enjoy life withmdashand that

makes life awesome

Before I met Ben I was nearing the age of missionary

service and had seriously considered serving a full-time

mission But then Ben entered my life and I knew that

Heavenly Father had a different plan for me

When Ben and I got engaged relatives who knew

about my thoughts to serve a mission asked me about my

choice and I would tell them ldquoI decided that I wanted topick my own missionary companionmdashand stay with him

for eternityrdquo

When yoursquore married you and your spouse have the

chance to participate in the work of salvation together

Ben and I have found great joy in building a Christ-

centered home studying and living the gospel together

Despite what the world may say marriage is awesome

and is worth making a priority When yoursquore married you

have a teammate you give and receive love you enjoy life

more fully and you have someone to build the kingdom

of God with All of that brings us great joy and because

we were sealed in the temple we can have this joy forever

If we keep our covenants we will be together for eternityand receive the crowning blessings of the priesthood We

ldquohave found in marriage the richest fulfillment of human

existencerdquo 4 NE

Ben and Rachel Nielsen live in Utah USA

NOTES

1 L Whitney Clayton ldquoMarriage Watch and Learnrdquo Ensign May 2013 83 2 ldquoThe Family A Proclamation to the Worldrdquo Ensign Nov 2010 129 3 See Richard G Scott ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo Ensign May

2011 96 4 James E Faust ldquoEnriching Your Marriagerdquo Ensign Apr 2007 6

FROM BEN M o r e E n jo y m e n t

FROM RACHEL A n E t e r n a l M is s i o n a r y C o m p a n io n

TAKE IT FROM US

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Your family can help unite the family of GodYou can all share the gospel in natural and pleasant ways

P H O T O I L L U S T R A T I O N B Y D A V I D S T O K E R

M O R M O N A D

(See M Russell Ballard ldquoPut Your Trust in the Lordrdquo Ensign Nov 2013 43)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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36 N e w E r a

By Alex Larsen

I always knew I wanted to be a mother but when I was grow-

ing up it wasnrsquot always on my mind When my fianceacute and I

were engaged one day I was talking with one of my college

professorsmdasha woman I greatly admiredmdashabout my engage-

ment She said something that brought my life choices into sharp

focus ldquoYou are wasting your talentrdquo she told me as she shook

her head She went on to say that someone as smart as I was

should not get married young She assumed I would have chil-

dren in my future and would be ldquothrowing awayrdquo my education

and chances of a stellar career on my future motherhood I could

tell by the way she looked at me that she thought I was making

a terrible and naiumlve mistake

Itrsquos been several years since that conversation and my hus-

band and I have two little girls Kate is three years old and is

my little sweetheart She moves through life at a leisurely pace

savoring all of the little details she notices Annabel is one yearold with bright blue eyes and a head of curls Shersquos exuberant

and determined Though I didnrsquot change my mind because of

what my professor said our discussion has stayed with me In

one way my professorrsquos predictions were correct I do not have

a prestigious working career But my professor got the most

important point wrong because I have wasted nothing

g i v i n

g u p e v e r y

t hi n g

but wh a t

I

g a i n ed

w as w o r t h so much m o r e

T h e wor l d t o l d me

I w ould

b e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 37

their spirits growing and developing I remember

the first time Kate pointed to a picture of the Savior and

said ldquoJesusrdquo I knew then that what I was doing was eter-

nally significant in the lives of my children

The world often tells us that lifersquos rewards come in

the form of status money or grand accomplishments

but I know therersquos great satisfaction even in the small

acts of changing diapers or wiping sticky fingers Every

little thing I do as a mother is part of helping to build the

kingdom of God by nurturing His children I always knew

I wanted children but it was not until I held my first baby

in my arms that I began to realize how much my heart

was capable of loving

The love I have for my daughters has helped me bet-

ter understand how much my Heavenly Father loves all

of His children When speaking of little children Jesustaught that ldquoof such is the kingdom of heavenrdquo (Matthew

1914) More than anything motherhood has helped me

to grow as a daughter of God because now I know what

a daughter of God looks like from the eyes of a parent

The world makes us think that a woman loses herself in

motherhoodmdashshe loses her body her free time and her

career But I have found myself in motherhood I feel

more beautiful and more valuable than ever before NE

Alex Larsen lives in California USA

I love the opportunity to stay home and care for my

young children because these are the most formative

years of their lives I have the opportunity to create a rich

home environment for my girls by reading and discussing

things with them as part of our everyday life Kate will

often astound me by remembering and commenting on

something wersquod read in a book several weeks before and

Annabel learns a new skill almost every day But as fun

and important as it is to watch them learn new

information and skills I feel the

most satisfied when I see

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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38 N e w E r a

One o f t h e g r e a t e s t ad v enture s o f y o u r l i f e w i l l b e y our rol e a n d c a l l i n g a s a f a t her

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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ROcksROcksROcks

NOTE

1 See Thomas S Monson ldquoWelcome to Conferencerdquo Ensign Nov 2012 4ndash5

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 39

DA D D A DD AD

By Chris Deaver

W

hen I was younger I loved spending time

with my dad He always knew the bestgames to play the best stories to tell at night

and the most interesting sports to try It was

like he was born to be a great dad

Fast-forward my life to when I married my sweetheart

Julia and then even further to the moment that our first

child Daniel was born I was filled with a rush of emo-

tions I was happy shocked amazed and a little scared

I felt totally inadequate to be a father and to have the

responsibility of teaching and being an example to my son

But I quickly realized that Irsquod been preparing all my life tobe a dad When I held my son in my arms for the first time

and looked down into his face I felt the Spirit touch my

heart and I realized that I was ready to try to be a great

dad just like my own dad was to me

When Daniel was very young he already had a great

sense of humor He learned to tell hilarious jokes that

would make my wife and me laugh He also often said

things that inspired us Shortly after hearing President

Thomas S Monson announce the change in age require-

ments for young men and young women preparingto serve missions1 we were driving in the car Daniel

announced that he would start preparing himself right

then at age six so he would have 12 years of preparation

Then he said with a smile ldquoDad can I change the song

from lsquoI Hope They Call Me on a Missionrsquo to lsquoI AM Going on

a Missionrsquordquo It was awesome

WHYbeing a

Three years after Daniel was born he was followed by his

brother Austin For me as a dad itrsquos been great to watch bothboys become best friends And Austin has been just as fun

as Daniel in his own way He enjoys building and destroying

block towers and one of his favorite activities is to fearlessly

wrestle me as if I stand no chance against his four-year-old

powers Of course I give in and let him winmdashso I guess I

reinforce his belief But itrsquos so much fun I know hersquoll be a

great wrestler but what I want most is for him to wrestle

ldquoagainst the rulers of the darkness of this worldrdquo and ldquoagainst

spiritual wickednessrdquo like it says in the scriptures (Ephesians

612) And I hope Irsquom helping to prepare him to do that We just recently had our third child a baby girl named

Faith During the delivery my wife was having some com-

plications and we were scared for our baby I gave Julia

a blessing Then she asked me to sing to her The Spirit

brought peace to both of us Soon baby Faith came safely

into the world It was a miracle and she definitely lived up

to her name Faithrsquos beautiful smile brightens my life I canrsquot

express in words how much she means to me

For any young man still wondering let me tell you You

were born to be a great dad The world may not agree butfatherhood is the best Someday yoursquoll find that your kids

inspire you too and that being a dad is the greatest adven-

ture of your life Yes itrsquos a duty and something you need to

take seriously but being a dad is unlike anything else NE

Chris Deaver lives in Florida USA

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40 N e w E r a

We always seem to be encouraged to read more

because well everyone knows that reading is a

good thing But not all books are worth reading and just

because sexual material is written about rather than pho-

tographed or video recorded doesnrsquot mean that itrsquos less

morally hazardous Making a common display of a sacred

intimacy thatrsquos intended to only be part of a marriage rela-

tionship is wrongmdashwhether in words or imagesIf something yoursquore reading contains explicit sexual

descriptions that imprint themselves on your mind and

arouse sexual feelings in the same way that looking at

pornographic images would then guess what Itrsquos pornog-

raphy Remember the counsel in For the Strength of Youth

ldquoChoose wisely when using media because whatever you

read listen to or look at has an effect on you Select only

media that uplifts yourdquo ([2011] 11) NE

T O T H E P O I N T

President Boyd K

Packer President of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoEach

of us must come to ourown personal testimony

of the Lord Jesus Christ

We then share that testi-

mony with our family and

othersrdquo1 It can sometimes

be easy to question the

depth of your testimony

I know looking at pornographic

pictures is wrong but whatabout reading books with

ldquoromanticrdquo scenes

If I donrsquot have a burning

desire to share thegospel does that mean I

donrsquot have a testimony

when you compare your-

self to people like Brigham

Young who once said ldquoI

wanted to thunder and

roar out the gospel to thenations It burned in my

bones like fire pent uprdquo2

So what if you donrsquot feel

fire in your bones

Hopefully your lack of

desire doesnrsquot come from

a lack of concern for your

fellowmen As your faith in

Jesus Christ grows so does

your love of all people a

love that is a mark of the

true followers of Christ (see

Moroni 748 John 1335)

Itrsquos likely however

that your hesitancy sim-

ply comes from fear and

anxiety about speaking toothers For many people

such feelings can be over-

whelming Even prophets

have had doubts about their

ability to speak to people

(see Exodus 410 Moses

631) They of course

had no reason to question

their testimoniesmdashand

neither should you if you

are studying the scriptures

pondering praying fasting

repenting and doing all the

other things that help bring

the Spirit into your life

If you feel you just

need a little extra cour-age to share the gos-

pel visit ldsorggo

shareNE8 for ideas NE

NOTES

1 Boyd K Packer ldquoThe Witnessrdquo Ensign May 2014 96

2 Teachings of Presidents ofthe Church Brigham Young (1997) viii

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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C O M E F O L L O W M E

Family

983152983137tter983150 of

President Boyd K PackerPresident of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

April 2014 general conference

The ultimate end

of all activity in

the Church is that

a man and his wife

and their childrencan be happy

at home

The FamilyYoursquoll be studying about the family in your Sunday classes

this month As you study and discuss family you may pon-der these questions Why do Church leaders emphasize

family so much What is the place of family in Heavenly

Fatherrsquos plan How does family help make us happy

To find some answers to these questions see the

family proclamation near the back of your Personal

Progress or Duty to God booklet or online at ldsorg

gofamilyNE8 Yoursquoll also find teachings about

family relationships in general conference talks at

conferenceldsorg

Give yourself an easy reminder to prepare for your

Sunday lessons on the family Just place these cards

in your scriptures locker or bedroom You can also

download or share them online at ldsorggocardsNE8 B A C K G R O U N D T E X T U R E

B Y I S T O C K P H O T O T H I N K S T O C K

We 983150eed We 983150eed

MOR E

983155tre983150983143the983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

RELATIONSHIPS

983153u983137lity 983153u983137lity TIME amp EFFORT INTO

TO PUT

983155re983150983143te983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4452

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4552

T H E E X T R A S M I L E

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 43

I dont like to pack so I rsquo m just wearing all my stuff

JON CLARK

W h a t m a k e s y o

u t h i n k

D a d rsquo s t a l k i n g t o

t h e

p r o p h e t

B ecaus e h e s ai d h e w as on a conf er ence cal l

RYAN STOKER

F r o m n o w o n j u s t t a k e

a p i c t u r e o f t h e t o o t h a n

d

u p l o a d i t t o m y F a c e b o o k

p a g e

a n d t h e n I rsquo l l s e n d y o u t h e

m o n e y t h r o u g h P a y P a l

RANDY GLASBERGEN

[Gasp] He he made h is bed this morning

And I didnrsquo t even ask

VAL CHADWICK BAGLEY

Who says there arenrsquo t modern m iracles

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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44 N e w E r a

ldquoMymom works

Since you donrsquot see your mom often make sure that

the time you do have together is used well You

could talk to your mom about how to do this She

wants a good relationship with you too and will

help you work on it Try asking her what she would

appreciate coming home to a clean house doing an activity

together just talking with you As you regularly do activities your mom appreciates your relationship will improve

Of course you could plan some fun activities to do together

but any meaningful time togethermdashsuch as washing the dishes

or reading the scripturesmdashcan be a great way to build your

relationship

Also plan time for communication Understanding one

another is a key ingredient in good relationships One thing

to discuss is how your momrsquos work schedule will affect your

relationship with her You can avoid misunderstandings if you

talk about your expectations as well as your momrsquosPrayer will help Families are important to Heavenly Father

so He can inspire you to know how to improve your relation-

ship with your mom Donrsquot ignore a prompting to do something

that seems small (see Alma 376) A hug and a smile for exam-

ple can make a big difference NE

Write a Note

Even if you have very

little time together you

can still express your

love to your mother

Write her thoughtful secret notes As

she reads them at work she will think

of you Do as much as you can for

her Think about her more often and

pray for her Ask the Lord to inspire

you and prompt you regarding how

you can improve your relationship Irinka E 20 Odessa Ukraine

Seek to Understand Her

Try to understand her situation

because she works for your benefit

You can begin by helping with things

at home like cleaning the house

helping your siblings and cooking

You also can share scriptures with

your mom pray together and doactivities that you like to do together

Morony M 18 Chihuahua Mexico

Have a Special Sunday

On some Sundays we

have a special lunch

or dinner with a new

dessert we talk and at

the end we sing hymns This brings

us together and helps us be betterfriends

Rebeca N 12 Satildeo Paulo Brazil

Try an Experiment

We arrange time to be together hav-

ing family home evening playing

games going to the beach having

lunch together All of this helps to

Q U E S T I O N S amp A N S W E R S

all day Howcan I improve our

relationshiprdquo

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4752

keep the flame of a good relationship

alive When we disagree we avoid

criticizing I know that sometimes I

ask not to do housework but this

contributes to disharmony in the

home Since I began this experiment

mdashcomplaining less lowering my

voice helping more with housework

and talking more with my mothermdash

a sweet spirit has developed in our

home and we cooperate more

Glenda C 18 Bahia Brazil

Help at Home

Do some extra chores

around the house Your

mom has been work-

ing all day If she has

less work to do when she gets home

shersquoll probably be happier and have

more time to talk and do things with

you While you are talking you canask about her day at work It will

show her that you care and it will

open doors for other topics of discus-

sion allowing you to grow closer

Heather B 18 Oregon USA

Find Something You BothLike to Do

My mumrsquos relationship with me

skyrocketed when I said ldquoI want tospend more time with you but I donrsquot

know what to do or when to do itrdquo

Playing board games happens to be

our favorite pastime So we set aside

a time together to play laugh and

make memories When you are open

with your parents eventually they

become your best companions You

UPCOMING QUESTION

ldquoMy parents just

got divorced Irsquom angry that they

have broken up our

family How doI forgive themrdquo

Send your answer and photo by

September 15 2014

Go to neweraldsorg click ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo enter your LDS Accountand then select ldquoNew Erardquo

Responses may be edited for length

or clarity

Responses are intended for help and per-

spective not as official pronouncements ofChurch doctrine

will be able to talk to them about

anything and you will be sure of an

honest answer That is the sign of a

mature relationship

Ephraim S 15 New South Wales Australia

Read Scriptures Together

Both of you could set a goal to read

together every day even just five

minutes from the Book of Mormon

or any other Church book It will

strengthen your relationship andnourish you with the word of God

so you can be ready to face each day

Remember also to pray to God and

ask for His help I know He hears you

and loves you

Laura M 19 Coacuterdoba Argentina

LEARN FROM

YOUR MOTHER

ldquoPlease look to yourfaithful mothers fora pattern to followModel yourselves

after them not after celebritieswhose standards are not the Lordrsquosstandards and whose values maynot reflect an eternal perspectiveLook to your mother Learn fromher strengths her courage andher faithfulness Listen to her She

may not be a whiz at texting shemay not even have a Facebookpage But when it comes to mat-ters of the heart and the thingsof the Lord she has a wealth ofknowledgerdquo

Elder M Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles ldquoMothers and Daughtersrdquo

Ensign May 2010 19

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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46 N e w E r a

MISERABLE TOTHE END OFTHE STREET

For one family home evening my

dad wanted to take advantage

of a pause in the rainy weather

to go on a walk around the neighbor-

hood I grumbled and complained

that it was too wet and muddy to

go walking I used the excuse that

I had a ballet recital that week and

didnrsquot want to sprain an ankle but

my dad didnrsquot buy it He insisted thatit was going to be the activity for the

evening I murmured a bit more about

the unfairness and my recital but we

left on the walk anyway

As I glumly stomped outside for

the walk with my family I was deter-

mined not to smile or be happy I

succeeded in feeling miserable until

I N S T A N T M E S S A G E S

we reached the end of the street Then

we turned the corner and I saw in full

force naturersquos beauty and wonder

Before me was a gorgeous sunset

and opposite it was a rainbow arching

above our neighborhood rooftops

I immediately forgot all about being

miserable and looked around in awe

On the way home I said a prayer of

gratitude thanking God for the beautyof His creations I later thanked my

dad for choosing the activity and for

allowing us to enjoy nature for that

family home evening

Jennie H North Carolina USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 47

STANDARDS AND FRIENDS

Since Irsquove been in school Irsquove had friends who havenrsquot understood the

moral standards of our religion At first it was difficult but over time

my friends have become used to the idea of my being morally clean I

made a goal in my life to be clean and pure and itrsquos worked out well both

for me and for those who used to criticize me Over time respect peace and

joy have become a part of our loving circle of friends

Vitoacuteria M Brazil

A DIFFICULT DECISION

FORGIVINGMY FRIENDS

As the only member of the

Church in my peer group

Irsquove experienced some

instances when my friends have

offended me Sometimes they judge

and criticize my religion I feel so

alone yet Irsquom thankful I know the

standards of the Church

If my friends offend me I try to

humble myself and avoid contention

because I know contention is evil When they start discussing some mat-

ters about the Church I just testify of

my belief in the gospel

I always forgive my friends with or

without their apology Forgiving is not

just about saying ldquoApology acceptedrdquo

or ldquoItrsquos OKrdquo because forgiveness has

a deep meaning Jesus Christ atoned

for our sins so that Heavenly Father

can forgive usEven though my friends donrsquot

understand my faith now I know that

I can be Godrsquos instrument to teach

them the gospel I am helping them

and at the same time I am helping

myself to grow spiritually and prepare

to serve a mission

Joshua V Philippines

As volleyball tryouts approached for my senior year in high

school I couldnrsquot believe the thought that was running through

my head I wasnrsquot supposed to play volleyball Irsquod played vol-

leyball since seventh grademdashwhy should this year be any different

Not seeing the sense in quitting I ignored the feeling and continued

to participate in summer volleyball events After a while the feeling

came back so I decided that if I really wasnrsquot supposed to be on the

team my coach would just cut me during tryouts

Then one night at the gym I couldnrsquot focus on the game at all I felt

terrible and restless inside I came home frustrated with my team and

with myself I sat next to my mom and sister and cried I told them

how confused I was and my mom told me to pray and ask Heavenly

Father what He wanted me to do I went up to my room and began to

pray I told Heavenly Father how I felt then I asked Him to help mefeel peace if I was not supposed to continue playing volleyball I felt

His peace in my heart and knew that I needed to quit

Irsquom still not sure all the reasons why that was the right

decision but I know that itrsquos what the Lord

wanted me to do and thatrsquos a good

enough reason for me

The next morning I told my

coach and my teammates that

I wasnrsquot going to be playing

Even though it was incrediblyhard I knew I was doing

the right thing

Klaire B Arizona USA

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httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5152

you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5252

WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Months passed Early one

Wednesday morning I received a

call from my mission president

who asked me to transfer down to

Okinawa When I hung up the phone

I was filled with the most bittersweet

feeling I dreaded having to say my

good-byes Each phone call to tell

members of the ward I would be

leaving on the following day made

my heart hurt Saying good-bye to thepeople I had come to love so much

was more difficult than I had imag-

ined it would be

As I finished these calls I noticed

that the only one who had not

answered the phone was Sister Senba

I was sad I would not be able to say

good-bye to a member who had

become so close to my heart

The next morning two other mis-sionaries and I left for the airport

When we arrived at the ticket counter

and tried to buy tickets the work-

ers told us that our cards had been

declined We did not have any money

to pay for the tickets and the flight

was leaving in 10 minutes The three

of us were in a panic We were about

to miss the flight and be stranded at

the airport for the dayBut all of my panic turned to com-

fort when I turned around and saw

Sister Senba walk into the airport

I was shocked that she was there

because she hadnrsquot known what time

our flight was As she scrambled over

to us she smiled and gave us all bread

to bring onto the plane

As we explained to her that we

were going to miss our flight she

became saddened None of us knew

what to do Then Sister Senba began

rummaging through her purse look-

ing for something that could help us

She jumped happily into the air when

she found a small envelope in her

purse in which weeks ago she had

placed yen50000mdashthe exact amount of

money we needed She gave us the

At that moment I felt the Spirit

more strongly than I ever have before

Sister Senbarsquos example taught me how

important it is to follow the prompt-

ings of the Spiritmdashno matter how

small or strange the prompting might

seem Through these promptings we

have the power to change lives for

the better I know it was not a coinci-

dence that she came to the airport It

was a miracle

TRULY THE LORD USES SMALL MEANS TO

BRING ABOUT HIS WORK

money and we were able to get our

tickets in time We thanked her with

every ounce of gratitude our souls

could muster said good-bye and

rushed onto the plane After the plane took off my fellow

missionary turned to me and said

ldquoIsnrsquot she amazing That was

a miraclerdquo

I then realized how truly mirac-

ulous it really was He then said

ldquoWhat does your note sayrdquo I saw he

was reading a note that was with the

bread Sister Senba had given

him As I realized I had onetoo I pulled out the note

and read a small piece of

paper personally addressed

to me which immediately

made my eyes swell with

tears It said ldquoI love you

Please donrsquot forget me I

will never forget yourdquo

Truly the Lord uses small means to

bring about His work How blessed

we are as members of this Church to

have His influence in our lives Let

us all remain worthy to receive thesepromptings and bless the lives of the

children of God NE

Thomas E Robinson III lives in Utah USA

Editorrsquos note Sister Senba was promptly

reimbursed by the mission

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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When I got my first paycheck for my first real job (at a

sandwich shop) I rewarded myself with a shopping

spree I bought some music and a cute outfit After

spending every dollar Irsquod earned I thought about

my purchases

ldquoThere goes two whole weeks of workrdquo I

thought And a sick feeling started to grow inmy stomach

As I thought about all those hours of hard work mak-

ing sandwiches my superficial purchases hardly seemed

worth it I vowed to be more careful with my money

So from then on I saved every penny for college and a pos-

sible mission and never bought anything I wanted ever again

Yeah right

I was still a normal teenager who wanted stylish clothes

good music and fun activities with my friends But coming

from a big family I knew that if I wanted those things I wouldhave to save money to pay for them myself

It might sound impossible but I found ways to be finan-

cially prepared for the future and have fun at the same timemdash

even with a part-time job that didnrsquot pay very much Here are

some tips on how you can increase your ldquomoney smartsrdquo

10 N e w E r a

HOW TO BEMONEY SMART

By Arianne Cope

Y O U W O R K H A R D F O R Y O U R M O N E Y A fewi983149983152le 983152ri983150ci983152les c983137983150 983149983137ke your c983137sh 983143o further

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A BUDGET THAT WORKS

Yoursquove probably been told about budgets

from the day you earned your first nickel or

dime Thatrsquos because it really works A bud-get is a plan that will help you make the best

use of what you earn and save Herersquos one

way you can set up a budget of your own

1 Decide on a time frame for your budget

Most budgets plan for expenses monthly

2 Add up every dollar you plan to make

to figure out your expected income (Or

use last monthrsquos earnings for this monthrsquos

spending so you have an exact amount

available)

3 Calculate how much yoursquoll need to pay

for tithing along with any other offerings

you might want to give

4 Create a list of things you think yoursquoll pur-

chase throughout the month along with

how much theyrsquoll probably cost

5 Separate your needs from your wants

because yoursquoll want to spend your money

on needs first

6 Subtract the total cost of your needs from

your total income

7 Set aside a little money each month for

your wants

8 After paying for tithing and your imme-

diate needs put most of the money thatrsquos

left into savings Look to the future and set

a plan to save for college a mission (par-

ticularly young men) or other big things

Think about how much you need to save

every month to meet the financial goals

you have for those big things in the future

9 Remember that making your budget work

takes solid planning a strong commit-

ment and self-discipline Itrsquos tough but

itrsquos worth it

SHOPPING PRINCIPLES

If yoursquore like most teenagers yoursquore prob-

ably going to want to spend some of your

money at the mall at a store or online So

yoursquoll want to know some basic principles

about shopping before you go

bull Decide what yoursquore planning to buy

before you go shopping Then stick to

your plan and avoid the habit of buying

things on impulse

bull Buy something only if you really love it

Donrsquot let your friends a salesperson or an

advertisement talk you into buying some-

thing yoursquore not going to use often

bull Remember that the word sale doesnrsquot

always mean yoursquore getting a good deal

Look for the best quality at the lowest

price Sometimes that means paying a

little bit more for something that will last a

lot longer

bull Ask yourself if you can live without the

item Remember the old adage ldquoFix it up

wear it out make it do or do withoutrdquo

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 11

T H E B O O K O F M O R M O N

CONCERT

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SOME FINAL TIPS

Just to finish here are some general

money-related guidelines to keep in mind

bull Keep track of your money and keep it in

a safe place

bull You canrsquot buy happiness but being will-

ing to share usually results in a smile

bull Avoid gambling of any kind

bull Be cautious of things that seem too good

to be truemdashthey usually are

The most important lesson about money

however is to keep in mind that wersquore not

here on earth to get rich or to have a lot of

fancy things Remember these truths from

the Doctrine and Covenants ldquoSeek not for

riches but for wisdom and behold the mys-

teries of God shall be unfolded unto you

and then shall you be made rich Behold he

that hath eternal life is richrdquo (DampC 67) NE

Arianne Cope lives in Utah USA

THE FUN STUFF

Herersquos a little-known fact a half-gallon

of ice cream from the grocery store tastes

almost as good as ice cream from an ice-cream shop Also a fact you can often buy

a half-gallon of ice cream for the same price

yoursquod pay for a single serving at an ice-

cream shop So if you need to save some

money suggest that your friends all split a

half-gallon from the store rather than spend-

ing a lot more at the ice-cream shop

And thatrsquos just one example of simple

money solutions You can be frugal in lots of

ways while still having a great time

bull Watch the newspaper or look online to

find free community or local events

bull If you want to see a movie go to a mati-

nee or a dollar theater for cheaper tickets

bull Plan ahead Make a list of ideas of free

things to do with your friends so you

wonrsquot rely on spending money to enter-

tain yourselves

bull Have fun outdoors without paying much

(if anything) Enjoy a campfire in the

canyon or on the beach or a free Frisbee

game at the parkmdashthey can be just

as much fun as going to a movie or a

concert

12 N e w E r a

FACT YOU CAN OFTEN BUY A HALF-GALLON OF

ICE CREAM FOR THE SAME PRICE YOUrsquoD PAY FOR A

SINGLE SERVING AT AN ICE-CREAM SHOP

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 13

3 Nephi 1815 20ndash21Jesus Christ taught the Nephites the importance of prayer

Editorrsquos note This page is not meant to be a com-

prehensive explanation of the selected seminary

scripture mastery verses only a starting point for

your own study

983148983141983155983156 983161983141 983138983141 983156983141983149983152983156983141983140

This is one of many scriptures

that teach how praying can help

us escape Satanrsquos temptations (see

also DampC 105 3112 and 6139)

Here are some other blessings thescriptures promise when you obey

the command to pray always What

blessings have you received

bull You will be worthy to stand in the

presence of God (see Luke 2136)

bull The Lord will consecrate your

efforts (see 2 Nephi 329)

bull The Spirit will be poured upon

you (see DampC 1938)

bull You will be given strength toendure (see DampC 88126)

bull Things will work out for your

good (see DampC 9024)

983152983154983137983161 983137983148983159983137983161983155

ldquoWe should be alone

with our Heavenly

Father at least two

or three times each

daymdashlsquomorning mid-day and eve-ningrsquo as the scripture indicates (Alma

3421) In addition we are told to

pray always (See 2 Ne 329 DampC

88126) This means that our hearts

should be full drawn out in prayer

unto our Heavenly Father continually

(See Alma 3427)rdquo

President Ezra Taft Benson (1899ndash1994) ldquoPray

Alwaysrdquo Ensign Feb 1990 2

L I N E U P O N L I N E

983159983144983137983156983155983151983141983158983141983154 983161983141 983155983144983137983148983148 983137983155983147

In the scriptures the Lord repeatedly

promises to answer our prayers if we

will but ask What can you learn from

these scriptures about how to ask and

receive answers What other scriptures

can you find that teach about this

bull James 15ndash6

bull 1 Nephi 1511

bull Enos 12ndash15

bull Mormon 921

bull DampC 810

bull DampC 4630ndash32

983159983144983145983139983144 983145983155 983154983145983143983144983156

ldquoHere the Savior

reminds us that faith

no matter how strong

it is cannot produce

a result contrary to the will of him

whose power it is The exercise of

faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is always

subject to the order of heaven to

the goodness and will and wisdom

and timing of the Lord That is why we cannot have true faith in the

Lord without also having complete

trust in the Lordrsquos will and in the

Lordrsquos timingrdquo

Elder Dallin H Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles ldquo lsquoFaith in the Lord Jesus Christrsquo rdquo

Ensign May 1994 100

983137983148983159983137983161983155 983145983150 983149983161 983150983137983149983141

Praying in Christrsquos name means

more than just ending our prayers

in the name of Jesus Christ The

Bible Dictionary teaches ldquoWe pray

in Christrsquos name when our mind isthe mind of Christ and our wishes

the wishes of Christmdashwhen His

words abide in us (John 157) We

then ask for things it is possible for

God to grant Many prayers remain

unanswered because they are not

in Christrsquos name at all they in no

way represent His mind but spring

out of the selfishness of manrsquos

heartrdquo (ldquoPrayerrdquo)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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By ElderJoseacute L Alonso

Of the Seventy

LINKED PRAYERS COUNSELING WITH THE LORD

ldquoThere may be things in our character in our behavior or concerningour spiritual growth about which we need to counsel with HeavenlyFather in morning prayer After expressing appropriate thanks for

blessings received we plead for understanding direction and helpto do the things we cannot do in our own strength alone

ldquoAt the end of our day we kneel again and report back to our Father We reviewthe events of the day and express heartfelt thanks for the blessings and the helpwe received We repent and with the assistance of the Spirit of the Lord identifyways we can do and become better tomorrow Thus our evening prayer buildsupon and is a continuation of our morning prayer And our evening prayer also is apreparation for meaningful morning prayerrdquo

Elder David A Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles ldquoPray Alwaysrdquo Ensign Nov 2008 41ndash42

14 N e w E r a

When I was 15 I went

to live with my father

while I finished high

school He lived and

worked in another city and had joined

the Church I didnrsquot know he was

a member but I saw that he acted

differently He acted with love and

kindness and was interested in myconcerns and needs

The first night I arrived I was

so hungry We sat down for dinner

and I started to eat but my father

said ldquoWait a minute We need to

prayrdquo I said ldquoWe need to what rdquo I

didnrsquot even know what the word

pray meant My father explained

that he was going to thank God our

Heavenly Father for the food we

had received from Him and then

we could eat My father prayed

and in his prayer he mentioned myname and asked for God to bless

me I felt something wonderful That

was the first time I felt the Spirit so

strongly in my life

My father taught me to pray to

Heavenly Father on my own Later

when the missionaries taught me

about Joseph Smithrsquos prayer I imme-

diately felt that it was possible for the

Lord to answer the prayer of a young

man The missionaries asked me to

read the Book of Mormon and to pray

to know if Jesus is the Christ if JosephSmith was a prophet and if the Book

of Mormon is true

That night I read the story in

3 Nephi 11 of when Jesus visits the

Nephites I was in a private place

so I got down on my knees and I

prayed Even though I was only 15 I

had faith that the Lord would answer

my prayer I received an impression

in my mind as clear as anything Ihad ever seen that Jesus is the Christ

Joseph Smith was a prophet and

the Book of Mormon is true I felt

like Joseph Smith after that prayer

I was so happy to truly know that

Heavenly Father answers prayers

from young people

Irsquod Never PRAYED BEFORE

i983150 Th983137t W983137y

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 15

WHAT KEPT ME STRONG

D983137ily P983137yer

As a teenager in an area with-

out a lot of Church members

I found that daily prayer was one

of the most important things that

helped me stay spiritually strong

I made sure to pray every day and

developed a pattern that helped

memdashmorning and evening prayers

When I heard

my father prayfor the rst timel felt something

wonderful

MORNING PRAYERS

Every morning I would share with

the Lord

bull My plans for the day

bull What I wanted to do

bull What I thought the Lord

wanted me to do

I would present my plans to

God and then ask for the Lordrsquos

help in accomplishing them

EVENING PRAYERS

Every evening I would

bull Report on how my day went

and if I had accomplished the

things I had set out to do

bull Share things that had been

difficult for me

bull Share things that I had learned

from people or through the

Spirit that dayThe more I prayed the more

I learned to understand and

receive impressions from the

Holy Ghost These impressions

helped me gain more strength

to follow the direction of the

Lord NE

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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16 N e w E r a

With canteen in hand I was prepared for my

second 50-mile hike and campout in the

Uinta Mountains I was about as well pre-

pared as a 14-year-old could be My equip-

ment was all set to go my boots were sturdy and my pack

was full of all the essentials

The day of the hike arrived and our

leaders reminded our group of young men

that the mountains could be very danger-

ous Hikers and campers were often lost

in the rugged hills and on the numerous

trails We were warned not to wander

away from the path Our leadersmdashmy

father includedmdashall seemed concerned

for our safety and were anxious to keep

us from straying off of our chosen pathBeing one of the stronger hikers and

a leader in the group I soon found myself

and three other boys leading the way

Sometimes we waited for our group at the

forks in the trail to make sure we followed

the correct path and would not become lost

We hiked for hours laughing and joking all the way We

were having a great time Suddenly we heard frantic calls

and the sounds of running We knew something must have

gone wrong We wondered if maybe some of the grouphad become lost I was concerned for the friends Irsquod left

behind with the leaders Something bad must have happened

We stopped to listen so we could hear what the distant

voices were yelling We heard our names More specifically

I heard my name being called I recognized my fatherrsquos

voice We called back and heard their heavy footsteps coming

in our direction

Something bad had happened We learned that

four of the boys in our group had strayed from

the correct path and had become lost It was us

We were the ones who were lost My father was

thankful to have finally found us and together we

began the hike back to the correct trail

In my head I retraced my footsteps I couldnrsquot

figure out how Irsquod become lost I felt like I was

still on the original path Irsquod been so sure We

retraced our steps and my father showed us aturn we had missed It was just a small path with

a little hidden sign marking the correct way

We had hiked two miles off the right trail

We were thankful wersquod been found

before dark For the rest of the hike

we stayed close to our leaders and the rest of the

group and were never in danger again

Sometimes our overconfidence as youth

gives us an unrealistic sense of independence

We push on without consulting our parentsor leaders We fail to ask for advice We feel

By Duncan Anderson

Mile Hike

The

We stoppedto listen so we

could hear whatthe distant voices

were yellingWe heard ournames We

called back andheard their heavyfootsteps comingin our direction

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 17

certain wersquore headed in a direction leading to the right

destination We laugh and joke and enjoy the path until itrsquos

too late too dark and wersquore lost

When it comes to choosing the right trails in life our

Heavenly Father has provided tools to guide us and keep us

on the path that leads to Him We have the scriptures prayer

and revelation our parents guidelines like For the Strength

of Youth and our Church leaders to guide us through the

countless options life offers

When we do stray off the path itrsquos often our loving parents

and dedicated leaders who come to the rescue They can

guide us back to the correct way and show us where we

went wrong Through repentance we can correct those

wrongs and start fresh on the right path headed toward the

destination that will give us eternal happiness and a life in the

presence of our Heavenly Father NE

Duncan Anderson lives in Utah USA

CHOOSING RIGHT PATHS

ldquoI plead with you to make a determi-nation right here right now notto deviate from the path which willlead to our goal eternal life with ourFather in Heaven Along that straight

and true path there are other goals missionaryservice temple marriage Church activity scripturestudy prayer temple work There are countless wor-thy goals to reach as we travel through life Neededis our commitment to reach themrdquo

President Thomas S Monson ldquoThe Three Rs of Choicerdquo

Ensign Nov 2010 68

NEED ADVICE

Is there anything yoursquod like advice on Donrsquot be afraid to ask your

parents or Church leaders Remember they are there to help you

no matter what yoursquod like to talk about

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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One of the things we agree

to do as part of the bap-

tismal covenant is ldquoto

stand as witnesses of

God at all times and in all things and in

all places that [we] may be inrdquo (Mosiah

189) And incidentally we renew this

covenant every week when we partake

of the sacramentIn the April 2014 general conference

several speakers reminded us that there

will be times when standing as a witness

of God will mean having to face oppo-

sition criticism and ridicule So what

should you do when yoursquore required

to take the uncomfortable uncool or

unpopular step of defending your beliefs

By David A Edwards

Church Magazines

Be brave and humble firm and gentle

all at the same time With the Lordrsquos

help itrsquos not as hard as it sounds

18 N e w E r a

of Defe983150di983150983143Your Beliefs

Dorsquos 983137983150d

Donrsquots

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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you should rely on the Spiritto guide your defense of your

faith Bear testimony by the

Spirit Thatrsquos the Lordrsquos way

(See also DampC 1005ndash8)

The point here is not that

you should avoid any discus-

sion in which people have dif-

fering points of view Rather it

has to do with your intent as

well as the emotions involved

We should seek understand-

ing and try to persuade withmeekess not just score points

and prove wersquore right and

someone else is wrong A

discussion where people are

getting really worked up and

angry is one you should either

try to soften or simply avoid

Heavenly Father has given

you the gift of the Holy Ghost

and you should take advan-

tage of this gift This doesnrsquot

mean reason and logic canrsquot

be inspired or confirmed by

the Spirit it just means that

Elder W Craig Zwick of

the Seventy has explained

this scripture this way ldquoA lsquosoft

answerrsquo consists of a reasoned

responsemdashdisciplined words

from a humble heart It does

not mean we never speak

directly or that we compro-

mise doctrinal truth Words

that may be firm in infor-

mation can be soft in spiritrdquo

(ldquoWhat Are You Thinkingrdquo

Ensign May 2014 42)

ldquoA SOFT ANSWER TURNETH AWAY

wr983137thBUT

GRIEVOUS WORDS stir u983152 983137983150983143errdquo

(Proverbs 151)

ldquoBeholdI send you forthas sheep in the

midst of wolves be ye therefore wise as serpents

and h983137r983149less as dovesrdquo

(Matthew 1016)

The Savior doesnrsquot want

you to be ignorant or naiumlve

but He also doesnrsquot want you

to attack anyone Knowing

what goes on in the world

doesnrsquot mean we have to

use its tactics

ldquoCONTEND AGAINST

NO CHURCHrdquo (DampC 1820)

There is no need to

criticize other churches

Positive statements of your

beliefs rather than negative

statements about others will

be most effective As the

Prophet Joseph Smith said

ldquoWe donrsquot ask any people

to throw away any good

they have got we only ask

them to come and get morerdquo

(Teachings of Presidents

of the Church Joseph

Smith [2007] 155)

ldquoAND THOUSHALT DECLARE

983143l983137d tidi983150983143s ldquoAND THOU SHALTDO IT WITH 983137ll hu983149ilityTRUSTING IN ME 983154evili983150983143 983150ot

AGAINST REVILERSrdquo

(DampC 1929ndash30)

The tidings you declare

are glad Remember that

and make sure your face and

your voice show it too Also

the word revile here means

to hurl abusive or insulting

language at a person So if

ldquoFOR I AM

NOT ASHAMED

OF THE GOSPEL OF CHRISTrdquo

(Romans 116)

As President Thomas S

Monson has said ldquoWe will all

face fear experience ridiculeand meet opposition Let

usmdashall of usmdashhave the courage

to defy the consensus the

courage to stand for prin-

ciple Courage not com-

promise brings the smile of

Godrsquos approvalrdquo (ldquoBe Strong

and of a Good Couragerdquo

Ensign May 2014 69)

The scriptures give you some basic principles for standing up for your faith including the following

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 19

ldquoWe s983152e983137k

NOT IN THE WORDS which 983149983137983150rsquos

WISDOM TEACH ETH

but which THE HOLY GHOST

TEACHETHrdquo

(1 Corinthians 213)

ldquoHE THATHATH THE

SPIRIT OF CONTENTIONIS NOT OF ME

BUT ISOF THE DEVIL

WHO IS THE FATHER OFCONTENTION AND

HE STIRRETH UPTHE HEARTS

OF MEN

TO CONTEND WITH ANGER

ONE WITH ANOTHERrdquo(3 Nephi 1129)

HERErsquoS SOME ADVICE FROM THE SCRIPTURES

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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How Do You Defend Do you have experi-ence in defending yourbeliefs Or do you haveideas to add to theselists Go to ldsorggodefendNE8 and share

Finding Courage

Read more on this topic atldsorggocourageNE8

someonersquos doing that to you

donrsquot retaliate and do the

same thing back to them The

Apostle Peter taught that the

Savior Himself gave the exam-

ple you should follow in thisregard (see 1 Peter 223)

ldquoLOVE YOUR ENEMIESbless them

that curse you

DO GOOD TO T HEMTHAT HATE YOU

and pray for

them which

DESPITEFULLY USE YOUAND PERSECUTE YOUrdquo

(Matthew 544)ldquoSEE THAT YE ARE NOT lifted u983152 u983150to

983152ride ye983137 SEE THAT YE DO

NOT BOAST IN YOUR

OWN WISDOM

983150or of your 983149uch stre983150983143thldquoUSE BOLDNESS

BUT NOT

OVERBEARANCErdquo (Alma 3811ndash12)

Here the word tenets

refers to opinions or teachings

that go beyond the basics So

the Lord is saying to stick to

the basic message of the gos-

pel when yoursquore declaring Hisglad tidings This also applies

to defending your faith

You donrsquot need to stray into

detailed discussions about

every little thing related to the

Church As Elder Richard G

Scott of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles has said

ldquoKeep your sharing of the

gospel simple rdquo (ldquo lsquoI HaveGiven You an Examplerdquo

Ensign May 2014 34)

ldquoEveryone independent

of his or her decisions and

beliefs deserves our kind-

ness and considerationrdquo said

Elder Neil L Andersen of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles ldquoThe Savior

taught us to love not only

our friends but also those

who disagree with usmdashand

even those who repudiate

usrdquo (ldquoSpiritual Whirlwindsrdquo

Ensign May 2014 20)

Again be humble Itrsquos not

about you or how smart and

capable you are Also you can

be bold without making over-

blown statements or being

a verbal or intellectual bully

As Elder Jeffrey R Holland

of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoYou willone day find yourself called

upon to defend your faith

Such moments will require

both courage and courtesy

on your partrdquo (ldquoThe Costmdashand

Blessingsmdashof Discipleshiprdquo

Ensign May 2014 6)

ldquoA983150d of te983150ets thou sh983137lt 983150ot t983137lk but thou shalt

declare repentance andfaith on the Savior and 983154e983149issio983150 of si983150sby baptism and by fire

yea even the Holy Ghostrdquo(DampC 1931)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2452

22 N e w E r a

I received my first two-wheel bicycle

when I was eight years old With

the help of my older brother and

father I began the rather scary pro-

cess of figuring out how to ride it The other kids in the neighborhood

made it look so easy and natural as

they zoomed up and down the street

on their bikes I perched on the bike

seatmdashwhich seemed to be at least

10 feet (3 m) above the groundmdashand

realized there was absolutely noth-

ing to keep me from falling over and

proving that the law of gravity was

alive and well As I tried riding I learned quickly

that if I wanted to stay balanced I had

to keep pedaling When I first sat on

the seat speed was the last thing I

wanted to add to the already daunting

equation But I very soon understood

the wisdom and the physics involved

in moving forward As long as I kept

pedaling I could stay upright and

avoid the rough concrete just waiting

to take the skin off my arms and legs

Soon I was zipping around the neigh-

borhood with my friends

Defy Gr983137vity Defy Gr983137vity

of the First Presidency as outlined

in that booklet our lives will be bal-

anced and steady We will be led

where we want to go

We need to keep moving forwardto avoid falling To do that we should

consistently and faithfully do certain

actions

bull Pray morning and night

bull Study the scriptures daily

bull Attend Church meetings and par-

take of the sacrament worthily

bull Serve those around us

bull Be worthy to attend the temple

All of these actions keep us moving

forward in the right direction

Thatrsquos why reading and being famil-

iar with the standards described in For

the Strength of Youth will help ensure

we are making choices consistent with

Godrsquos standards Living these princi-

ples and keeping the commandments

F O R T H E S T R E N G T H O F Y O U T H

By Bonnie LOscarson

Young WomenGeneral President

As you keep moving forward you can stay upright even

when outside forces try to pull you down

Just as those who keep

pedaling a bike can stay

upright despite gravityrsquos

influence those who are

guided by the Holy Spirit in

all they do can withstand

the influence of theadversary

So it is with living the gospel and

the standards in For the Strength of

Youth It takes faith to believe that if

we consistently follow the counsel

GO FORWARD WITH FAITH

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 23

invite the Holy Ghost to be our con-

stant companion Just as those who

keep pedaling a bike can stay upright

despite gravityrsquos influence those who

are guided by the Holy Spirit in allthey do can withstand the influence of

the adversary

What are the destinations you have

in mind as you pedal forward For all

young men of the Aaronic Priesthood

preparing now for a full-time mission

is important in forward growth For

all youth being prepared to go to the

temple and receive the endowment by

making and keeping sacred covenantsshould also be a primary goal

As the message from the First

Presidency at the beginning of For the

Strength of Youth says ldquoIn all that you

do stay focused on the temple In the

temple you will receive the greatest

of all the Lordrsquos blessings including

marriage for time and all eternityrdquo1

Receiving the covenant of eternal

marriage in the house of the Lord and

becoming righteous husbands wives

fathers and mothers may seem far

down the road but the time to beginpreparing is now All of these things

lead to the most glorious and grand

destination of allmdasheternal life with

our Heavenly Father

One of my favorite scriptures

sums up what we need to do in order

to keep moving toward our goals

ldquoWherefore ye must press forward

with a steadfastness in Christ hav-

ing a perfect brightness of hopeand a love of God and of all men

Wherefore if ye shall press forward

feasting upon the word of Christ and

endure to the end behold thus saith

the Father Ye shall have eternal liferdquo

(2 Nephi 3120)

Just as I learned as an eight-year-

old girl that I needed to keep pedaling

and moving forward in order to defy

gravity and keep my balance on my

bicycle it is important for all of us to

keep moving forward with faith trust-

ing in the counsel of living prophetsand a loving Heavenly Father to keep

us from falling Some of our destina-

tions are just down the road while

others will take a lifetime of faithful

living to achieve The promises of

what lies at the end of the road if we

are faithful are certain and glorious

and well worth the ride NE

NOTE

1 For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

Learn MoreSee whatrsquos next in your covenant path

at ldsorggocovenantNE8

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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24 N e w E r a

BOA R D

GA M E S

B y Da vid Chris tensen

My chance to play le f t

a lasting impact but it

wasnrsquot what Irsquod e xpected

L o s i n

g s o

q u i c k

l y w

a s b

a d e

n o u

g h

b

u t t o

m a k

e m

a t t e r s

w o r s e

t h

e o t h

e r g

u y

s s t a r t e

d t o

m a k

e

f u n

o f

m e

I

t r i e d

t o c o

n t i n

u e

p l a y i n g

e v e

n t h

o u

g h

t h e y

w e r

e b

e i n

g m

e a n

b

u t i t

w a s h

a r d t o h o

l d b

a c k m y t e

a r s

o f f r u s t

r a t i o n

U

n f o

r t u n a t e l y

o n e t e

a r t r i c k l e

d d

o w

n m y

c h e e

k b

e f o

r e I

c o u

l d w i p

e i t

a w a y M

y b

r o t h

e r

s a w i t

a n d

t e a s e

d m

e t o

o

I c o

u l d

n rsquo t

t a k e i t

a n y

m o r e

a n d

r a n t o

m y

r o o m

I g a v e m y s e l

f a q u i c k p i n

c h

t o m a k e s u r

e I w a s n rsquo

t d r e a m i n g

a n d t h e

n I v o i c e d

a t i m i d ldquo Y e

a h

s u r e rdquo I s t

i l l c o u l d

n rsquo t b e l i e

v e t h a t

m y b r o t h e

r h a d i n v

i t e d m e t o

p l a y a g a m e w i t h

t h e ldquo b i g k i

d s rdquo

A f t e r a l l

I rsquo d b e e n t o l d f o r t h

r e e

y e a r s t h a

t I w a s s t i l l

t o o y o u

n g

t o p l a y m o r e d i f fi

c u l t b o a

r d

g a m e s w i t h m y b r o

t h e r a n d

h i s f r i e n d s

A N D B R O

T H

E R S

I

felt the hot tears of anger slowly slide

down my face I wiped them away with

my hand but I could still feel the

slightly salty taste on my lips assobs of anguish began to pour out

I just wanted to hang out with my

brother Why couldnrsquot he be my

friend too

J u s t a f e w

h o u r s

b e f o

r e I h a d

s t a r e d a t

m y o

l d e r b

r o t h

e r S t e v e

i n c o

m p

l e t e s u r p

r i s e

w a i t i n

g f o r h

i m t o

t e

l l

m e t h

a t h e w

a s o n

l y

j o k i n g ldquo W

e l l d o y o

u

w a n

t t o p

l a y rdquo S t e v e

a s k e d i m p

a

t i e n t l y

I w

e n t i n t o t h e

r o o m w h

e r e t h e

o l d e r b o y s

w e r e

s e t t i n g u p

t h e b o a r d

g a m e A s t h e

g a m e s t a r t e d

w i t h

e v e r y o n e s t r a t e g i c a l l y

p l a c i n g

t h e i r g a m

e

p i e c e s

I f e l t l i k e

I w

a s d r e a

m i n g F o r

t h e fi r s t t i m

e

I f e l t e q u a l t o

m y b r o t h e r mdash

n o t l i k e I

w a s j u s t h i s

t a g a l o n g

T h e d r e a m

e n d e d q u i c k

l y h o w e v e r

T h e

g a m e w

a s t o u g h

a n d m y i n

e x p e r i e n c e

a n d l a c k

o f k n o w l e d g e

b e c

a m e

p a i n f u l l y o b v i o u s

a s t h e o t

h e r

p l a y e r s q u i c k l y

a n d

s o u n d l y d e f e a t e d

m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2852

26 N e w E r a

Le983137r983150i983150983143 the i983150s 983137983150d outs of d983137ti983150983143 c983137983150 be h983137rd Let this course tur983150 you

i983150to 983137 d983137ti983150983143 983152ro

By Matthew ORichardson

Served as Second

Counselor in theSunday SchoolGeneral Presidencyfrom 2009 to 2014

hile speaking to youth about how to prepare for a celestial marriage

President Thomas S Monson emphasized that ldquoproper dating is a part

of preparation for marriagerdquo 1 Have you thought much about happy

relationships Elder Russell M Nelson of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said a ldquocelestial marriage brings greater possibilities for happiness than

does any other relationshiprdquo2

When I was serving as bishop in a young single adult ward I worried about those

who approached dating with very little purpose understanding or direction This

caused me to wonder if my own children would be any different when their time came

My wife and I decided to help our children prepare for ldquoproper datingrdquo and happy rela-tionships by creating the Richardson Dating Academy or RDA as our children call it

It wasnrsquot long after we started the RDA that friends of our children wanted to partici-

pate and even become RDA graduates So how about you Are you ready to become a

dating academy graduate yourself Class is in session

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 27

Lesso983150 1 ur983152oses 983137983150d St983137983150d983137rds of D983137ti983150983143

Lesso983150 2 W983137tch 983137983150d Le983137r983150

Homework

As you know ldquodatingrdquo means different things to differ-

ent people Your first assignment is to figure out just what

a ldquodaterdquo is according to Church standards Can you explain

the purposes of dating and the specific dating standards and

guidelines set by the Church Or do you know when itrsquosmost appropriate to be involved in dating and steady dating

(having a boyfriend or girlfriend)

You can find answers to these questions in the ldquoDatingrdquo

section of For the Strength of Youth The First Presidency

reminds us why knowing and understanding these stan-

dards are so important They promise ldquoThe standards in this

Elder Jeffrey R Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles once explained that most athletic contests have ldquolines

drawn on the floor or the field within which every participant

must stay in order to competerdquo3 Success depends on how

well a competitor knows and stays within the set boundaries

Likewise itrsquos important to know the ldquodating linesrdquo or the pur-

poses and standards of dating as taught by Church leaders

One of the most com-

mon ways people learn

is by watching others

Dating is no different

In the dating academy

we spend time observ-

ing others in dating

situations In our family

we learned many point-ersmdashsome to do others

to avoidmdashby watching

dates in progress at

restaurants and other

settings Yes we went to

certain places with the

sole purpose to observe

dates for ldquoclassrdquo

booklet will help you with the important choices you are

making now and will yet make in the futurerdquo4

Now that you have a solid foundation of the stan-

dards and purposes of dating (you did do your home-

work and read that section didnrsquot you) itrsquos time to move

on to lesson 2

Tips

Here are some suggestions that will help you learn

as you observe

bull Watch but donrsquot be creepy This is about learning from

others but not stalking staring or even judging Look for

things you like and things you would like to avoid

bull Go to a variety of places and settings to observe others

Not every date is the same nor should it be Watch how thesetting affects the experience

bull Watch how people interact with each other Can you tell

who is with whom Are they paying attention to each

other In what ways Are they talking with each other Do

they look like they enjoy being with each other How can

you tell if they are having fun

bull Talk with a parent leader or good friends and share what

you noticed and what you learned

Homework

The next time you go

out to eat attend a movie

or go to almost any activ-

ity make an effort to look

around and see how other

people are interacting It

may surprise you to see

how much dating is actu-ally going on Take the

time to learn from those

around you by paying

attention to whatrsquos work-

ing and what isnrsquot

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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28 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 3 l983137983150983150i983150983143 983137 D983137te

Tips

bull Start planning early

bull Donrsquot be afraid to bounce ideas off your friendsparents and others They can provide excellent

suggestions that you havenrsquot even thought about

bull Make sure you let your budget amount of time

available the reasons for dating and Church stan-

dards guide your planning

bull Think of what you hope will happen during the

date from beginning to end This helps you realize

what needs to be done to make the date a success

bull Pay attention to details Call ahead for event times

prices menus and what the proper dress is for

the occasion

bull Plan for emergencies For example what will you

do if you donrsquot have enough money or have car

trouble What if your date gets sick

Homework

Rather than leaving everything to chance dating acad-

emy grads understand what needs to happen and theyplan accordingly

Your homework assignment even if yoursquore years away

from dating is to practice planning an event You can

brainstorm with friends really fun ideas for a date Then

work together to think of what planning is required to

make those ideas actually happen Or you can ask your

parents to let you plan the next family outing

You might choose a place to eat or what to do Plan all

the details (event times travel time cost backup plans)

and then put your plan into action You could evencome up with a dating plan complete with backup ideas

if something goes wrong and share it in family home

evening while talking together around the dinner table

or with friends You may find that properly planning an

activity is almost as much fun as the actual date

The quality of experience yoursquoll have with others is

often determined by what happens before a date begins

Showing up on your datersquos doorstep with no plan is a

recipe for an awkward experience Nobody likes playing

the ldquoWhat do you want to dordquo game

Yoursquore better than that With a little practice you can

become a date-planning champion And young women

no fair skipping this section While most of the time young

men plan and ask for dates yoursquoll still want to have these

skills down for when itrsquos your turn

Group Date IdeasNeed ideas Check out ldsorggoideasNE8 Some

of the youth activities there could be adapted for dates

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Homework

In the Richardson Dating Academy all of our

children practiced dating invitations For example

our children might call an aunt older sibling or other

family member to practice inviting someone on a

date Or our son or daughter would receive an invita-

tion from a family member and practice responding

They learned how to deal with rejection acceptance

or even a disinterested response or two

Now itrsquos your turn Working with your parents ask

them to line up somebody in your family you can call

and practice inviting on a date Make sure you do this

more than once

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 29

You know your dating standards front and back

yoursquove watched others in dating situations and

yoursquove come up with a solid date plan

Congratulations Now you still need to invite

someone Or you need to know how to respond

when you are invited So whatrsquos the best way A

phone call Ask in person Here are some different

points to consider

Lesso983150 4 I983150viti983150983143 Others 983137983150d Bei983150983143 I983150vited

Tips

bull Be ready to give details when you invite

someone on a date Talk about what you have

planned start and end times whorsquos participat-ing and how they should dress (casual dressy

etc) Your excellent planning from academy

lesson 3 makes this part of the academy easy

bull Therersquos a time to talk by phone and a time to

ask face-to-face The more important the event

is the more personal the invitation should be

Donrsquot be afraid to skip technology and actually

talk with someone

bull Some events may require you to speak with

your datersquos parents first This shows respectand courtesy

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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30 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 5 O983150 the D983137te

It would be impossible for any dating academy to cover

every little thing to consider or plan for in dating So much

depends on good judgment communication with your par-

ents and listening to the Spirit

Still here are a few key points you might want to brush

up on before putting your date plan into action

Tips

bull Develop a ldquoyou firstrdquo attitude This means you always

think of your date first Is he or she having fun Is he or

she comfortable

bull Make sure you dress appropriately for the occasion

The way you dress usually communicates how you feelabout others and about the event Know the difference

between casual (but never sloppy) semiformal and

formal and when it would be appropriate to dress in

those ways

bull Show common courtesy by opening doors saying

thank you talking less about yourself and more about

your date and extending sincere compliments

bull Learn how to navigate restaurants Know how to make

a reservation get a table calculate a service tip and

pay the bill

Homework

Once again the best way to learn any good skill is by practic-

ing it Our youth enjoyed role-playing different situations

to think about how to act most appropriately We

also loved going out to eat as part of the dating acad-

emy experience Our children learned how to act in

a restaurant order a meal calculate the tip and paythe bill by actually doing it when they were with us

Look for opportunities to practice skills you should use on a

date For example the next time you and your family go some-

where ask your parents to let you purchase the tickets order

the meal or calculate the tip Treat your family or friends with

the same respect and courtesy that you should show others on a

date Open doors for your family be the first to say ldquothank yourdquo

and pay attention so you are part of the conversation

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 31

Lesso983150 6 The Doorste983152

NOTES

1 Thomas S Monson ldquoPreparation BringsBlessingsrdquo Ensign May 2010 64

2 Russell M Nelson ldquoCelestial Marriagerdquo Ensign Nov 2008 93

3 Jeffrey R Holland ldquoWe Are All Enlistedrdquo Ensign Nov 2011 45

4 ldquoMessage to the Youth from The First Presi-dencyrdquo For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

5 John Bytheway ldquoWhat Do Kisses Meanrdquo New Era Oct 2004 38ndash41

Last but not least dating

academy graduates know how

to conclude a date on the right

note Nothing sours a great date

more than a bad ending

Herersquos how you can finish a

date with success

Tips

bull Express gratitude Be sincere

and to the point If there was something you especially

liked tell your date what

it was

bull Therersquos no reason for drag-

ging things on at this point

Yoursquove already spent plenty

of time together Avoid the

ldquodoorstep shufflerdquo When

people arenrsquot sure what to

say they tend to shuffle backand forth or move their feet

in place If you find yourself

ldquoshufflingrdquo in place itrsquos a

pretty good signal that you

need to say good-bye

bull Know and follow the

Churchrsquos counsel on kissing

and physical intimacy (You

might also want to read John

Bythewayrsquos article ldquoWhat Do

Kisses Meanrdquo5 at ldsorggo

kissesNE8)

Homework

Yes herersquos another opportunity for practicing Our family has spent several family

home evenings role-playing doorstep good-byes Itrsquos been both helpful and fun to

watch an older sibling coach the younger sibling with dorsquos and donrsquots

Most memorable was an older sister showing how she could turn a hug into a

handshake with the grace of a princess and the speed of a ninja You too can get

together with family members and role-play different scenarios that might happen on

a doorstep We guarantee itrsquoll be an academy night yoursquoll all remember

Gr983137du983137tio983150

If yoursquove studied all the

material worked on the tips done

the homework and talked through

the lessons with your parents and

family you too can become a

dating academy graduate

As you continue strengthening

these important skills yoursquoll find

support strength and power that

will bless your relationships both

now and in the future You will be

better prepared for happiness NE

Do Try This at HomeInterested in having a dating academy at

home Let your parents know therersquos an RDAarticle for them in this monthrsquos Ensign or atldsorggoRDA

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32 N e w E r a

S U N DA Y L E S S

O N S

This Monthrsquos Topic

Ma r r iage a nd

Fa m i l y

MARRIAGE IS WORTH ITldquoIt is so rewarding to bemarried Marriage is wonder-ful In time you begin to thinkalike and have the same ideasand impressions You havetimes when you are extremelyhappy times of testing andtimes of trial but the Lordguides you through all ofthose growth experiencestogetherrdquo

Elder Richard G Scott of the

Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo

Ensign May 2011 96

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 33

We love being marr ied and he

rersquos why

By Ben and Rachel Nielsen

Letrsquos face it girls (and boys) itrsquos nice to know that someone loves you

And when yoursquore married you have chances to share and receive love every

day When I was talking to my parents about the possibility of marrying

Ben my dad said ldquoWhomever you choose to marry I want him to fre-

quently and sincerely express his love for you like Elder Richard G Scott did

for his wiferdquo3 I listened to Dad

I decided to marry Ben and he has always made an effort to express

his love to me in small and big ways During my senior year of college I

worked for months to prepare apply and interview for a prestigious intern-ship And when I finally heard that I got the job I came home and saw a

vase full of flowers from my husband He knew how hard I had worked and

how much the internship meant to me At other times hersquoll hide my favorite

drink and a love note in the fridge before he heads out for a weekend Scout

camp And every day hersquoll do the dishes and make me laugh Ben is great at

expressing his love for me and that brings both of us great joy

During my mission in Brazil I grew to love soccer One thing that I lovemost about this sport is having teammates and learning how to work together

with my team Rachel is a fantastic teammate She helps me achieve my

goals joins me in making important decisions and is there for me when I

have trouble

When we were sealed in the temple we promised to ldquohelp one another as

equal partnersrdquo2 Rachel and I strive to support each other in everything we

do and itrsquos great to know that I always have a reliable teammate

After our first date we both

knew we wanted to go

on a second date Ben

wanted to go on

another date because Rachel was

friendly and fun to talk to Rachel

wanted to go on another date

because Ben was a gentleman

and was still smiling after all of

his well-laid plans fell through

After the second date plus manymore dates and prayers after

that we fell in love and decided

to get married in the Sacramento

California Temple

The wedding day was abso-

lutely perfect and we have loved

being married ever since The

world may see marriage differ-

ently but we know that ldquono other

relationship of any kind canbring as much joy generate as

much good or produce as much

personal refinementrdquo1 Marriage

is awesome and herersquos why

FROM BEN A T e a m m a t e

FROM RACHEL

E x p r e s s i o n s o f L o v e

WHY MARRIAGE IS

A w e s o m e

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34 N e w E r a

JOIN THE CONVERSATION

Things to Ponder for Sunday

bull What qualities and attitudes make for the strongest

and happiest marriages and families

bull What are you doing now that will help your future

marriage and family stay strong and happy

Things You Might Do

bull Share with some friends your goal of marrying and

having a family and tell them why

bull In church share why you are looking forward

to marriage and family and how you are pre-

paring for them

serving in the Church and inviting others to come unto

Christ As we work together to build the kingdom of God

we grow closer our love deepens and life is more fulfilling

Dating Rachel is so much fun In fact we make surethat we still frequently go on dates even as a married

couple After we first met we found that we enjoy many

of the same activities walking through parks attending

plays watching sporting events eating new and different

food listening to music and so much more I loved doing

these things before I met Rachel but theyrsquore even more

fun now that we get to share them together When yoursquore

married you have someone to enjoy life withmdashand that

makes life awesome

Before I met Ben I was nearing the age of missionary

service and had seriously considered serving a full-time

mission But then Ben entered my life and I knew that

Heavenly Father had a different plan for me

When Ben and I got engaged relatives who knew

about my thoughts to serve a mission asked me about my

choice and I would tell them ldquoI decided that I wanted topick my own missionary companionmdashand stay with him

for eternityrdquo

When yoursquore married you and your spouse have the

chance to participate in the work of salvation together

Ben and I have found great joy in building a Christ-

centered home studying and living the gospel together

Despite what the world may say marriage is awesome

and is worth making a priority When yoursquore married you

have a teammate you give and receive love you enjoy life

more fully and you have someone to build the kingdom

of God with All of that brings us great joy and because

we were sealed in the temple we can have this joy forever

If we keep our covenants we will be together for eternityand receive the crowning blessings of the priesthood We

ldquohave found in marriage the richest fulfillment of human

existencerdquo 4 NE

Ben and Rachel Nielsen live in Utah USA

NOTES

1 L Whitney Clayton ldquoMarriage Watch and Learnrdquo Ensign May 2013 83 2 ldquoThe Family A Proclamation to the Worldrdquo Ensign Nov 2010 129 3 See Richard G Scott ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo Ensign May

2011 96 4 James E Faust ldquoEnriching Your Marriagerdquo Ensign Apr 2007 6

FROM BEN M o r e E n jo y m e n t

FROM RACHEL A n E t e r n a l M is s i o n a r y C o m p a n io n

TAKE IT FROM US

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Your family can help unite the family of GodYou can all share the gospel in natural and pleasant ways

P H O T O I L L U S T R A T I O N B Y D A V I D S T O K E R

M O R M O N A D

(See M Russell Ballard ldquoPut Your Trust in the Lordrdquo Ensign Nov 2013 43)

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36 N e w E r a

By Alex Larsen

I always knew I wanted to be a mother but when I was grow-

ing up it wasnrsquot always on my mind When my fianceacute and I

were engaged one day I was talking with one of my college

professorsmdasha woman I greatly admiredmdashabout my engage-

ment She said something that brought my life choices into sharp

focus ldquoYou are wasting your talentrdquo she told me as she shook

her head She went on to say that someone as smart as I was

should not get married young She assumed I would have chil-

dren in my future and would be ldquothrowing awayrdquo my education

and chances of a stellar career on my future motherhood I could

tell by the way she looked at me that she thought I was making

a terrible and naiumlve mistake

Itrsquos been several years since that conversation and my hus-

band and I have two little girls Kate is three years old and is

my little sweetheart She moves through life at a leisurely pace

savoring all of the little details she notices Annabel is one yearold with bright blue eyes and a head of curls Shersquos exuberant

and determined Though I didnrsquot change my mind because of

what my professor said our discussion has stayed with me In

one way my professorrsquos predictions were correct I do not have

a prestigious working career But my professor got the most

important point wrong because I have wasted nothing

g i v i n

g u p e v e r y

t hi n g

but wh a t

I

g a i n ed

w as w o r t h so much m o r e

T h e wor l d t o l d me

I w ould

b e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 37

their spirits growing and developing I remember

the first time Kate pointed to a picture of the Savior and

said ldquoJesusrdquo I knew then that what I was doing was eter-

nally significant in the lives of my children

The world often tells us that lifersquos rewards come in

the form of status money or grand accomplishments

but I know therersquos great satisfaction even in the small

acts of changing diapers or wiping sticky fingers Every

little thing I do as a mother is part of helping to build the

kingdom of God by nurturing His children I always knew

I wanted children but it was not until I held my first baby

in my arms that I began to realize how much my heart

was capable of loving

The love I have for my daughters has helped me bet-

ter understand how much my Heavenly Father loves all

of His children When speaking of little children Jesustaught that ldquoof such is the kingdom of heavenrdquo (Matthew

1914) More than anything motherhood has helped me

to grow as a daughter of God because now I know what

a daughter of God looks like from the eyes of a parent

The world makes us think that a woman loses herself in

motherhoodmdashshe loses her body her free time and her

career But I have found myself in motherhood I feel

more beautiful and more valuable than ever before NE

Alex Larsen lives in California USA

I love the opportunity to stay home and care for my

young children because these are the most formative

years of their lives I have the opportunity to create a rich

home environment for my girls by reading and discussing

things with them as part of our everyday life Kate will

often astound me by remembering and commenting on

something wersquod read in a book several weeks before and

Annabel learns a new skill almost every day But as fun

and important as it is to watch them learn new

information and skills I feel the

most satisfied when I see

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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38 N e w E r a

One o f t h e g r e a t e s t ad v enture s o f y o u r l i f e w i l l b e y our rol e a n d c a l l i n g a s a f a t her

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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ROcksROcksROcks

NOTE

1 See Thomas S Monson ldquoWelcome to Conferencerdquo Ensign Nov 2012 4ndash5

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 39

DA D D A DD AD

By Chris Deaver

W

hen I was younger I loved spending time

with my dad He always knew the bestgames to play the best stories to tell at night

and the most interesting sports to try It was

like he was born to be a great dad

Fast-forward my life to when I married my sweetheart

Julia and then even further to the moment that our first

child Daniel was born I was filled with a rush of emo-

tions I was happy shocked amazed and a little scared

I felt totally inadequate to be a father and to have the

responsibility of teaching and being an example to my son

But I quickly realized that Irsquod been preparing all my life tobe a dad When I held my son in my arms for the first time

and looked down into his face I felt the Spirit touch my

heart and I realized that I was ready to try to be a great

dad just like my own dad was to me

When Daniel was very young he already had a great

sense of humor He learned to tell hilarious jokes that

would make my wife and me laugh He also often said

things that inspired us Shortly after hearing President

Thomas S Monson announce the change in age require-

ments for young men and young women preparingto serve missions1 we were driving in the car Daniel

announced that he would start preparing himself right

then at age six so he would have 12 years of preparation

Then he said with a smile ldquoDad can I change the song

from lsquoI Hope They Call Me on a Missionrsquo to lsquoI AM Going on

a Missionrsquordquo It was awesome

WHYbeing a

Three years after Daniel was born he was followed by his

brother Austin For me as a dad itrsquos been great to watch bothboys become best friends And Austin has been just as fun

as Daniel in his own way He enjoys building and destroying

block towers and one of his favorite activities is to fearlessly

wrestle me as if I stand no chance against his four-year-old

powers Of course I give in and let him winmdashso I guess I

reinforce his belief But itrsquos so much fun I know hersquoll be a

great wrestler but what I want most is for him to wrestle

ldquoagainst the rulers of the darkness of this worldrdquo and ldquoagainst

spiritual wickednessrdquo like it says in the scriptures (Ephesians

612) And I hope Irsquom helping to prepare him to do that We just recently had our third child a baby girl named

Faith During the delivery my wife was having some com-

plications and we were scared for our baby I gave Julia

a blessing Then she asked me to sing to her The Spirit

brought peace to both of us Soon baby Faith came safely

into the world It was a miracle and she definitely lived up

to her name Faithrsquos beautiful smile brightens my life I canrsquot

express in words how much she means to me

For any young man still wondering let me tell you You

were born to be a great dad The world may not agree butfatherhood is the best Someday yoursquoll find that your kids

inspire you too and that being a dad is the greatest adven-

ture of your life Yes itrsquos a duty and something you need to

take seriously but being a dad is unlike anything else NE

Chris Deaver lives in Florida USA

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40 N e w E r a

We always seem to be encouraged to read more

because well everyone knows that reading is a

good thing But not all books are worth reading and just

because sexual material is written about rather than pho-

tographed or video recorded doesnrsquot mean that itrsquos less

morally hazardous Making a common display of a sacred

intimacy thatrsquos intended to only be part of a marriage rela-

tionship is wrongmdashwhether in words or imagesIf something yoursquore reading contains explicit sexual

descriptions that imprint themselves on your mind and

arouse sexual feelings in the same way that looking at

pornographic images would then guess what Itrsquos pornog-

raphy Remember the counsel in For the Strength of Youth

ldquoChoose wisely when using media because whatever you

read listen to or look at has an effect on you Select only

media that uplifts yourdquo ([2011] 11) NE

T O T H E P O I N T

President Boyd K

Packer President of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoEach

of us must come to ourown personal testimony

of the Lord Jesus Christ

We then share that testi-

mony with our family and

othersrdquo1 It can sometimes

be easy to question the

depth of your testimony

I know looking at pornographic

pictures is wrong but whatabout reading books with

ldquoromanticrdquo scenes

If I donrsquot have a burning

desire to share thegospel does that mean I

donrsquot have a testimony

when you compare your-

self to people like Brigham

Young who once said ldquoI

wanted to thunder and

roar out the gospel to thenations It burned in my

bones like fire pent uprdquo2

So what if you donrsquot feel

fire in your bones

Hopefully your lack of

desire doesnrsquot come from

a lack of concern for your

fellowmen As your faith in

Jesus Christ grows so does

your love of all people a

love that is a mark of the

true followers of Christ (see

Moroni 748 John 1335)

Itrsquos likely however

that your hesitancy sim-

ply comes from fear and

anxiety about speaking toothers For many people

such feelings can be over-

whelming Even prophets

have had doubts about their

ability to speak to people

(see Exodus 410 Moses

631) They of course

had no reason to question

their testimoniesmdashand

neither should you if you

are studying the scriptures

pondering praying fasting

repenting and doing all the

other things that help bring

the Spirit into your life

If you feel you just

need a little extra cour-age to share the gos-

pel visit ldsorggo

shareNE8 for ideas NE

NOTES

1 Boyd K Packer ldquoThe Witnessrdquo Ensign May 2014 96

2 Teachings of Presidents ofthe Church Brigham Young (1997) viii

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C O M E F O L L O W M E

Family

983152983137tter983150 of

President Boyd K PackerPresident of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

April 2014 general conference

The ultimate end

of all activity in

the Church is that

a man and his wife

and their childrencan be happy

at home

The FamilyYoursquoll be studying about the family in your Sunday classes

this month As you study and discuss family you may pon-der these questions Why do Church leaders emphasize

family so much What is the place of family in Heavenly

Fatherrsquos plan How does family help make us happy

To find some answers to these questions see the

family proclamation near the back of your Personal

Progress or Duty to God booklet or online at ldsorg

gofamilyNE8 Yoursquoll also find teachings about

family relationships in general conference talks at

conferenceldsorg

Give yourself an easy reminder to prepare for your

Sunday lessons on the family Just place these cards

in your scriptures locker or bedroom You can also

download or share them online at ldsorggocardsNE8 B A C K G R O U N D T E X T U R E

B Y I S T O C K P H O T O T H I N K S T O C K

We 983150eed We 983150eed

MOR E

983155tre983150983143the983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

RELATIONSHIPS

983153u983137lity 983153u983137lity TIME amp EFFORT INTO

TO PUT

983155re983150983143te983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4452

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4552

T H E E X T R A S M I L E

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 43

I dont like to pack so I rsquo m just wearing all my stuff

JON CLARK

W h a t m a k e s y o

u t h i n k

D a d rsquo s t a l k i n g t o

t h e

p r o p h e t

B ecaus e h e s ai d h e w as on a conf er ence cal l

RYAN STOKER

F r o m n o w o n j u s t t a k e

a p i c t u r e o f t h e t o o t h a n

d

u p l o a d i t t o m y F a c e b o o k

p a g e

a n d t h e n I rsquo l l s e n d y o u t h e

m o n e y t h r o u g h P a y P a l

RANDY GLASBERGEN

[Gasp] He he made h is bed this morning

And I didnrsquo t even ask

VAL CHADWICK BAGLEY

Who says there arenrsquo t modern m iracles

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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44 N e w E r a

ldquoMymom works

Since you donrsquot see your mom often make sure that

the time you do have together is used well You

could talk to your mom about how to do this She

wants a good relationship with you too and will

help you work on it Try asking her what she would

appreciate coming home to a clean house doing an activity

together just talking with you As you regularly do activities your mom appreciates your relationship will improve

Of course you could plan some fun activities to do together

but any meaningful time togethermdashsuch as washing the dishes

or reading the scripturesmdashcan be a great way to build your

relationship

Also plan time for communication Understanding one

another is a key ingredient in good relationships One thing

to discuss is how your momrsquos work schedule will affect your

relationship with her You can avoid misunderstandings if you

talk about your expectations as well as your momrsquosPrayer will help Families are important to Heavenly Father

so He can inspire you to know how to improve your relation-

ship with your mom Donrsquot ignore a prompting to do something

that seems small (see Alma 376) A hug and a smile for exam-

ple can make a big difference NE

Write a Note

Even if you have very

little time together you

can still express your

love to your mother

Write her thoughtful secret notes As

she reads them at work she will think

of you Do as much as you can for

her Think about her more often and

pray for her Ask the Lord to inspire

you and prompt you regarding how

you can improve your relationship Irinka E 20 Odessa Ukraine

Seek to Understand Her

Try to understand her situation

because she works for your benefit

You can begin by helping with things

at home like cleaning the house

helping your siblings and cooking

You also can share scriptures with

your mom pray together and doactivities that you like to do together

Morony M 18 Chihuahua Mexico

Have a Special Sunday

On some Sundays we

have a special lunch

or dinner with a new

dessert we talk and at

the end we sing hymns This brings

us together and helps us be betterfriends

Rebeca N 12 Satildeo Paulo Brazil

Try an Experiment

We arrange time to be together hav-

ing family home evening playing

games going to the beach having

lunch together All of this helps to

Q U E S T I O N S amp A N S W E R S

all day Howcan I improve our

relationshiprdquo

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4752

keep the flame of a good relationship

alive When we disagree we avoid

criticizing I know that sometimes I

ask not to do housework but this

contributes to disharmony in the

home Since I began this experiment

mdashcomplaining less lowering my

voice helping more with housework

and talking more with my mothermdash

a sweet spirit has developed in our

home and we cooperate more

Glenda C 18 Bahia Brazil

Help at Home

Do some extra chores

around the house Your

mom has been work-

ing all day If she has

less work to do when she gets home

shersquoll probably be happier and have

more time to talk and do things with

you While you are talking you canask about her day at work It will

show her that you care and it will

open doors for other topics of discus-

sion allowing you to grow closer

Heather B 18 Oregon USA

Find Something You BothLike to Do

My mumrsquos relationship with me

skyrocketed when I said ldquoI want tospend more time with you but I donrsquot

know what to do or when to do itrdquo

Playing board games happens to be

our favorite pastime So we set aside

a time together to play laugh and

make memories When you are open

with your parents eventually they

become your best companions You

UPCOMING QUESTION

ldquoMy parents just

got divorced Irsquom angry that they

have broken up our

family How doI forgive themrdquo

Send your answer and photo by

September 15 2014

Go to neweraldsorg click ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo enter your LDS Accountand then select ldquoNew Erardquo

Responses may be edited for length

or clarity

Responses are intended for help and per-

spective not as official pronouncements ofChurch doctrine

will be able to talk to them about

anything and you will be sure of an

honest answer That is the sign of a

mature relationship

Ephraim S 15 New South Wales Australia

Read Scriptures Together

Both of you could set a goal to read

together every day even just five

minutes from the Book of Mormon

or any other Church book It will

strengthen your relationship andnourish you with the word of God

so you can be ready to face each day

Remember also to pray to God and

ask for His help I know He hears you

and loves you

Laura M 19 Coacuterdoba Argentina

LEARN FROM

YOUR MOTHER

ldquoPlease look to yourfaithful mothers fora pattern to followModel yourselves

after them not after celebritieswhose standards are not the Lordrsquosstandards and whose values maynot reflect an eternal perspectiveLook to your mother Learn fromher strengths her courage andher faithfulness Listen to her She

may not be a whiz at texting shemay not even have a Facebookpage But when it comes to mat-ters of the heart and the thingsof the Lord she has a wealth ofknowledgerdquo

Elder M Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles ldquoMothers and Daughtersrdquo

Ensign May 2010 19

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46 N e w E r a

MISERABLE TOTHE END OFTHE STREET

For one family home evening my

dad wanted to take advantage

of a pause in the rainy weather

to go on a walk around the neighbor-

hood I grumbled and complained

that it was too wet and muddy to

go walking I used the excuse that

I had a ballet recital that week and

didnrsquot want to sprain an ankle but

my dad didnrsquot buy it He insisted thatit was going to be the activity for the

evening I murmured a bit more about

the unfairness and my recital but we

left on the walk anyway

As I glumly stomped outside for

the walk with my family I was deter-

mined not to smile or be happy I

succeeded in feeling miserable until

I N S T A N T M E S S A G E S

we reached the end of the street Then

we turned the corner and I saw in full

force naturersquos beauty and wonder

Before me was a gorgeous sunset

and opposite it was a rainbow arching

above our neighborhood rooftops

I immediately forgot all about being

miserable and looked around in awe

On the way home I said a prayer of

gratitude thanking God for the beautyof His creations I later thanked my

dad for choosing the activity and for

allowing us to enjoy nature for that

family home evening

Jennie H North Carolina USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 47

STANDARDS AND FRIENDS

Since Irsquove been in school Irsquove had friends who havenrsquot understood the

moral standards of our religion At first it was difficult but over time

my friends have become used to the idea of my being morally clean I

made a goal in my life to be clean and pure and itrsquos worked out well both

for me and for those who used to criticize me Over time respect peace and

joy have become a part of our loving circle of friends

Vitoacuteria M Brazil

A DIFFICULT DECISION

FORGIVINGMY FRIENDS

As the only member of the

Church in my peer group

Irsquove experienced some

instances when my friends have

offended me Sometimes they judge

and criticize my religion I feel so

alone yet Irsquom thankful I know the

standards of the Church

If my friends offend me I try to

humble myself and avoid contention

because I know contention is evil When they start discussing some mat-

ters about the Church I just testify of

my belief in the gospel

I always forgive my friends with or

without their apology Forgiving is not

just about saying ldquoApology acceptedrdquo

or ldquoItrsquos OKrdquo because forgiveness has

a deep meaning Jesus Christ atoned

for our sins so that Heavenly Father

can forgive usEven though my friends donrsquot

understand my faith now I know that

I can be Godrsquos instrument to teach

them the gospel I am helping them

and at the same time I am helping

myself to grow spiritually and prepare

to serve a mission

Joshua V Philippines

As volleyball tryouts approached for my senior year in high

school I couldnrsquot believe the thought that was running through

my head I wasnrsquot supposed to play volleyball Irsquod played vol-

leyball since seventh grademdashwhy should this year be any different

Not seeing the sense in quitting I ignored the feeling and continued

to participate in summer volleyball events After a while the feeling

came back so I decided that if I really wasnrsquot supposed to be on the

team my coach would just cut me during tryouts

Then one night at the gym I couldnrsquot focus on the game at all I felt

terrible and restless inside I came home frustrated with my team and

with myself I sat next to my mom and sister and cried I told them

how confused I was and my mom told me to pray and ask Heavenly

Father what He wanted me to do I went up to my room and began to

pray I told Heavenly Father how I felt then I asked Him to help mefeel peace if I was not supposed to continue playing volleyball I felt

His peace in my heart and knew that I needed to quit

Irsquom still not sure all the reasons why that was the right

decision but I know that itrsquos what the Lord

wanted me to do and thatrsquos a good

enough reason for me

The next morning I told my

coach and my teammates that

I wasnrsquot going to be playing

Even though it was incrediblyhard I knew I was doing

the right thing

Klaire B Arizona USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5252

WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 1252

When I got my first paycheck for my first real job (at a

sandwich shop) I rewarded myself with a shopping

spree I bought some music and a cute outfit After

spending every dollar Irsquod earned I thought about

my purchases

ldquoThere goes two whole weeks of workrdquo I

thought And a sick feeling started to grow inmy stomach

As I thought about all those hours of hard work mak-

ing sandwiches my superficial purchases hardly seemed

worth it I vowed to be more careful with my money

So from then on I saved every penny for college and a pos-

sible mission and never bought anything I wanted ever again

Yeah right

I was still a normal teenager who wanted stylish clothes

good music and fun activities with my friends But coming

from a big family I knew that if I wanted those things I wouldhave to save money to pay for them myself

It might sound impossible but I found ways to be finan-

cially prepared for the future and have fun at the same timemdash

even with a part-time job that didnrsquot pay very much Here are

some tips on how you can increase your ldquomoney smartsrdquo

10 N e w E r a

HOW TO BEMONEY SMART

By Arianne Cope

Y O U W O R K H A R D F O R Y O U R M O N E Y A fewi983149983152le 983152ri983150ci983152les c983137983150 983149983137ke your c983137sh 983143o further

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A BUDGET THAT WORKS

Yoursquove probably been told about budgets

from the day you earned your first nickel or

dime Thatrsquos because it really works A bud-get is a plan that will help you make the best

use of what you earn and save Herersquos one

way you can set up a budget of your own

1 Decide on a time frame for your budget

Most budgets plan for expenses monthly

2 Add up every dollar you plan to make

to figure out your expected income (Or

use last monthrsquos earnings for this monthrsquos

spending so you have an exact amount

available)

3 Calculate how much yoursquoll need to pay

for tithing along with any other offerings

you might want to give

4 Create a list of things you think yoursquoll pur-

chase throughout the month along with

how much theyrsquoll probably cost

5 Separate your needs from your wants

because yoursquoll want to spend your money

on needs first

6 Subtract the total cost of your needs from

your total income

7 Set aside a little money each month for

your wants

8 After paying for tithing and your imme-

diate needs put most of the money thatrsquos

left into savings Look to the future and set

a plan to save for college a mission (par-

ticularly young men) or other big things

Think about how much you need to save

every month to meet the financial goals

you have for those big things in the future

9 Remember that making your budget work

takes solid planning a strong commit-

ment and self-discipline Itrsquos tough but

itrsquos worth it

SHOPPING PRINCIPLES

If yoursquore like most teenagers yoursquore prob-

ably going to want to spend some of your

money at the mall at a store or online So

yoursquoll want to know some basic principles

about shopping before you go

bull Decide what yoursquore planning to buy

before you go shopping Then stick to

your plan and avoid the habit of buying

things on impulse

bull Buy something only if you really love it

Donrsquot let your friends a salesperson or an

advertisement talk you into buying some-

thing yoursquore not going to use often

bull Remember that the word sale doesnrsquot

always mean yoursquore getting a good deal

Look for the best quality at the lowest

price Sometimes that means paying a

little bit more for something that will last a

lot longer

bull Ask yourself if you can live without the

item Remember the old adage ldquoFix it up

wear it out make it do or do withoutrdquo

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 11

T H E B O O K O F M O R M O N

CONCERT

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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SOME FINAL TIPS

Just to finish here are some general

money-related guidelines to keep in mind

bull Keep track of your money and keep it in

a safe place

bull You canrsquot buy happiness but being will-

ing to share usually results in a smile

bull Avoid gambling of any kind

bull Be cautious of things that seem too good

to be truemdashthey usually are

The most important lesson about money

however is to keep in mind that wersquore not

here on earth to get rich or to have a lot of

fancy things Remember these truths from

the Doctrine and Covenants ldquoSeek not for

riches but for wisdom and behold the mys-

teries of God shall be unfolded unto you

and then shall you be made rich Behold he

that hath eternal life is richrdquo (DampC 67) NE

Arianne Cope lives in Utah USA

THE FUN STUFF

Herersquos a little-known fact a half-gallon

of ice cream from the grocery store tastes

almost as good as ice cream from an ice-cream shop Also a fact you can often buy

a half-gallon of ice cream for the same price

yoursquod pay for a single serving at an ice-

cream shop So if you need to save some

money suggest that your friends all split a

half-gallon from the store rather than spend-

ing a lot more at the ice-cream shop

And thatrsquos just one example of simple

money solutions You can be frugal in lots of

ways while still having a great time

bull Watch the newspaper or look online to

find free community or local events

bull If you want to see a movie go to a mati-

nee or a dollar theater for cheaper tickets

bull Plan ahead Make a list of ideas of free

things to do with your friends so you

wonrsquot rely on spending money to enter-

tain yourselves

bull Have fun outdoors without paying much

(if anything) Enjoy a campfire in the

canyon or on the beach or a free Frisbee

game at the parkmdashthey can be just

as much fun as going to a movie or a

concert

12 N e w E r a

FACT YOU CAN OFTEN BUY A HALF-GALLON OF

ICE CREAM FOR THE SAME PRICE YOUrsquoD PAY FOR A

SINGLE SERVING AT AN ICE-CREAM SHOP

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 13

3 Nephi 1815 20ndash21Jesus Christ taught the Nephites the importance of prayer

Editorrsquos note This page is not meant to be a com-

prehensive explanation of the selected seminary

scripture mastery verses only a starting point for

your own study

983148983141983155983156 983161983141 983138983141 983156983141983149983152983156983141983140

This is one of many scriptures

that teach how praying can help

us escape Satanrsquos temptations (see

also DampC 105 3112 and 6139)

Here are some other blessings thescriptures promise when you obey

the command to pray always What

blessings have you received

bull You will be worthy to stand in the

presence of God (see Luke 2136)

bull The Lord will consecrate your

efforts (see 2 Nephi 329)

bull The Spirit will be poured upon

you (see DampC 1938)

bull You will be given strength toendure (see DampC 88126)

bull Things will work out for your

good (see DampC 9024)

983152983154983137983161 983137983148983159983137983161983155

ldquoWe should be alone

with our Heavenly

Father at least two

or three times each

daymdashlsquomorning mid-day and eve-ningrsquo as the scripture indicates (Alma

3421) In addition we are told to

pray always (See 2 Ne 329 DampC

88126) This means that our hearts

should be full drawn out in prayer

unto our Heavenly Father continually

(See Alma 3427)rdquo

President Ezra Taft Benson (1899ndash1994) ldquoPray

Alwaysrdquo Ensign Feb 1990 2

L I N E U P O N L I N E

983159983144983137983156983155983151983141983158983141983154 983161983141 983155983144983137983148983148 983137983155983147

In the scriptures the Lord repeatedly

promises to answer our prayers if we

will but ask What can you learn from

these scriptures about how to ask and

receive answers What other scriptures

can you find that teach about this

bull James 15ndash6

bull 1 Nephi 1511

bull Enos 12ndash15

bull Mormon 921

bull DampC 810

bull DampC 4630ndash32

983159983144983145983139983144 983145983155 983154983145983143983144983156

ldquoHere the Savior

reminds us that faith

no matter how strong

it is cannot produce

a result contrary to the will of him

whose power it is The exercise of

faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is always

subject to the order of heaven to

the goodness and will and wisdom

and timing of the Lord That is why we cannot have true faith in the

Lord without also having complete

trust in the Lordrsquos will and in the

Lordrsquos timingrdquo

Elder Dallin H Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles ldquo lsquoFaith in the Lord Jesus Christrsquo rdquo

Ensign May 1994 100

983137983148983159983137983161983155 983145983150 983149983161 983150983137983149983141

Praying in Christrsquos name means

more than just ending our prayers

in the name of Jesus Christ The

Bible Dictionary teaches ldquoWe pray

in Christrsquos name when our mind isthe mind of Christ and our wishes

the wishes of Christmdashwhen His

words abide in us (John 157) We

then ask for things it is possible for

God to grant Many prayers remain

unanswered because they are not

in Christrsquos name at all they in no

way represent His mind but spring

out of the selfishness of manrsquos

heartrdquo (ldquoPrayerrdquo)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 1652

By ElderJoseacute L Alonso

Of the Seventy

LINKED PRAYERS COUNSELING WITH THE LORD

ldquoThere may be things in our character in our behavior or concerningour spiritual growth about which we need to counsel with HeavenlyFather in morning prayer After expressing appropriate thanks for

blessings received we plead for understanding direction and helpto do the things we cannot do in our own strength alone

ldquoAt the end of our day we kneel again and report back to our Father We reviewthe events of the day and express heartfelt thanks for the blessings and the helpwe received We repent and with the assistance of the Spirit of the Lord identifyways we can do and become better tomorrow Thus our evening prayer buildsupon and is a continuation of our morning prayer And our evening prayer also is apreparation for meaningful morning prayerrdquo

Elder David A Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles ldquoPray Alwaysrdquo Ensign Nov 2008 41ndash42

14 N e w E r a

When I was 15 I went

to live with my father

while I finished high

school He lived and

worked in another city and had joined

the Church I didnrsquot know he was

a member but I saw that he acted

differently He acted with love and

kindness and was interested in myconcerns and needs

The first night I arrived I was

so hungry We sat down for dinner

and I started to eat but my father

said ldquoWait a minute We need to

prayrdquo I said ldquoWe need to what rdquo I

didnrsquot even know what the word

pray meant My father explained

that he was going to thank God our

Heavenly Father for the food we

had received from Him and then

we could eat My father prayed

and in his prayer he mentioned myname and asked for God to bless

me I felt something wonderful That

was the first time I felt the Spirit so

strongly in my life

My father taught me to pray to

Heavenly Father on my own Later

when the missionaries taught me

about Joseph Smithrsquos prayer I imme-

diately felt that it was possible for the

Lord to answer the prayer of a young

man The missionaries asked me to

read the Book of Mormon and to pray

to know if Jesus is the Christ if JosephSmith was a prophet and if the Book

of Mormon is true

That night I read the story in

3 Nephi 11 of when Jesus visits the

Nephites I was in a private place

so I got down on my knees and I

prayed Even though I was only 15 I

had faith that the Lord would answer

my prayer I received an impression

in my mind as clear as anything Ihad ever seen that Jesus is the Christ

Joseph Smith was a prophet and

the Book of Mormon is true I felt

like Joseph Smith after that prayer

I was so happy to truly know that

Heavenly Father answers prayers

from young people

Irsquod Never PRAYED BEFORE

i983150 Th983137t W983137y

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 15

WHAT KEPT ME STRONG

D983137ily P983137yer

As a teenager in an area with-

out a lot of Church members

I found that daily prayer was one

of the most important things that

helped me stay spiritually strong

I made sure to pray every day and

developed a pattern that helped

memdashmorning and evening prayers

When I heard

my father prayfor the rst timel felt something

wonderful

MORNING PRAYERS

Every morning I would share with

the Lord

bull My plans for the day

bull What I wanted to do

bull What I thought the Lord

wanted me to do

I would present my plans to

God and then ask for the Lordrsquos

help in accomplishing them

EVENING PRAYERS

Every evening I would

bull Report on how my day went

and if I had accomplished the

things I had set out to do

bull Share things that had been

difficult for me

bull Share things that I had learned

from people or through the

Spirit that dayThe more I prayed the more

I learned to understand and

receive impressions from the

Holy Ghost These impressions

helped me gain more strength

to follow the direction of the

Lord NE

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 1852

16 N e w E r a

With canteen in hand I was prepared for my

second 50-mile hike and campout in the

Uinta Mountains I was about as well pre-

pared as a 14-year-old could be My equip-

ment was all set to go my boots were sturdy and my pack

was full of all the essentials

The day of the hike arrived and our

leaders reminded our group of young men

that the mountains could be very danger-

ous Hikers and campers were often lost

in the rugged hills and on the numerous

trails We were warned not to wander

away from the path Our leadersmdashmy

father includedmdashall seemed concerned

for our safety and were anxious to keep

us from straying off of our chosen pathBeing one of the stronger hikers and

a leader in the group I soon found myself

and three other boys leading the way

Sometimes we waited for our group at the

forks in the trail to make sure we followed

the correct path and would not become lost

We hiked for hours laughing and joking all the way We

were having a great time Suddenly we heard frantic calls

and the sounds of running We knew something must have

gone wrong We wondered if maybe some of the grouphad become lost I was concerned for the friends Irsquod left

behind with the leaders Something bad must have happened

We stopped to listen so we could hear what the distant

voices were yelling We heard our names More specifically

I heard my name being called I recognized my fatherrsquos

voice We called back and heard their heavy footsteps coming

in our direction

Something bad had happened We learned that

four of the boys in our group had strayed from

the correct path and had become lost It was us

We were the ones who were lost My father was

thankful to have finally found us and together we

began the hike back to the correct trail

In my head I retraced my footsteps I couldnrsquot

figure out how Irsquod become lost I felt like I was

still on the original path Irsquod been so sure We

retraced our steps and my father showed us aturn we had missed It was just a small path with

a little hidden sign marking the correct way

We had hiked two miles off the right trail

We were thankful wersquod been found

before dark For the rest of the hike

we stayed close to our leaders and the rest of the

group and were never in danger again

Sometimes our overconfidence as youth

gives us an unrealistic sense of independence

We push on without consulting our parentsor leaders We fail to ask for advice We feel

By Duncan Anderson

Mile Hike

The

We stoppedto listen so we

could hear whatthe distant voices

were yellingWe heard ournames We

called back andheard their heavyfootsteps comingin our direction

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 17

certain wersquore headed in a direction leading to the right

destination We laugh and joke and enjoy the path until itrsquos

too late too dark and wersquore lost

When it comes to choosing the right trails in life our

Heavenly Father has provided tools to guide us and keep us

on the path that leads to Him We have the scriptures prayer

and revelation our parents guidelines like For the Strength

of Youth and our Church leaders to guide us through the

countless options life offers

When we do stray off the path itrsquos often our loving parents

and dedicated leaders who come to the rescue They can

guide us back to the correct way and show us where we

went wrong Through repentance we can correct those

wrongs and start fresh on the right path headed toward the

destination that will give us eternal happiness and a life in the

presence of our Heavenly Father NE

Duncan Anderson lives in Utah USA

CHOOSING RIGHT PATHS

ldquoI plead with you to make a determi-nation right here right now notto deviate from the path which willlead to our goal eternal life with ourFather in Heaven Along that straight

and true path there are other goals missionaryservice temple marriage Church activity scripturestudy prayer temple work There are countless wor-thy goals to reach as we travel through life Neededis our commitment to reach themrdquo

President Thomas S Monson ldquoThe Three Rs of Choicerdquo

Ensign Nov 2010 68

NEED ADVICE

Is there anything yoursquod like advice on Donrsquot be afraid to ask your

parents or Church leaders Remember they are there to help you

no matter what yoursquod like to talk about

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2052

One of the things we agree

to do as part of the bap-

tismal covenant is ldquoto

stand as witnesses of

God at all times and in all things and in

all places that [we] may be inrdquo (Mosiah

189) And incidentally we renew this

covenant every week when we partake

of the sacramentIn the April 2014 general conference

several speakers reminded us that there

will be times when standing as a witness

of God will mean having to face oppo-

sition criticism and ridicule So what

should you do when yoursquore required

to take the uncomfortable uncool or

unpopular step of defending your beliefs

By David A Edwards

Church Magazines

Be brave and humble firm and gentle

all at the same time With the Lordrsquos

help itrsquos not as hard as it sounds

18 N e w E r a

of Defe983150di983150983143Your Beliefs

Dorsquos 983137983150d

Donrsquots

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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you should rely on the Spiritto guide your defense of your

faith Bear testimony by the

Spirit Thatrsquos the Lordrsquos way

(See also DampC 1005ndash8)

The point here is not that

you should avoid any discus-

sion in which people have dif-

fering points of view Rather it

has to do with your intent as

well as the emotions involved

We should seek understand-

ing and try to persuade withmeekess not just score points

and prove wersquore right and

someone else is wrong A

discussion where people are

getting really worked up and

angry is one you should either

try to soften or simply avoid

Heavenly Father has given

you the gift of the Holy Ghost

and you should take advan-

tage of this gift This doesnrsquot

mean reason and logic canrsquot

be inspired or confirmed by

the Spirit it just means that

Elder W Craig Zwick of

the Seventy has explained

this scripture this way ldquoA lsquosoft

answerrsquo consists of a reasoned

responsemdashdisciplined words

from a humble heart It does

not mean we never speak

directly or that we compro-

mise doctrinal truth Words

that may be firm in infor-

mation can be soft in spiritrdquo

(ldquoWhat Are You Thinkingrdquo

Ensign May 2014 42)

ldquoA SOFT ANSWER TURNETH AWAY

wr983137thBUT

GRIEVOUS WORDS stir u983152 983137983150983143errdquo

(Proverbs 151)

ldquoBeholdI send you forthas sheep in the

midst of wolves be ye therefore wise as serpents

and h983137r983149less as dovesrdquo

(Matthew 1016)

The Savior doesnrsquot want

you to be ignorant or naiumlve

but He also doesnrsquot want you

to attack anyone Knowing

what goes on in the world

doesnrsquot mean we have to

use its tactics

ldquoCONTEND AGAINST

NO CHURCHrdquo (DampC 1820)

There is no need to

criticize other churches

Positive statements of your

beliefs rather than negative

statements about others will

be most effective As the

Prophet Joseph Smith said

ldquoWe donrsquot ask any people

to throw away any good

they have got we only ask

them to come and get morerdquo

(Teachings of Presidents

of the Church Joseph

Smith [2007] 155)

ldquoAND THOUSHALT DECLARE

983143l983137d tidi983150983143s ldquoAND THOU SHALTDO IT WITH 983137ll hu983149ilityTRUSTING IN ME 983154evili983150983143 983150ot

AGAINST REVILERSrdquo

(DampC 1929ndash30)

The tidings you declare

are glad Remember that

and make sure your face and

your voice show it too Also

the word revile here means

to hurl abusive or insulting

language at a person So if

ldquoFOR I AM

NOT ASHAMED

OF THE GOSPEL OF CHRISTrdquo

(Romans 116)

As President Thomas S

Monson has said ldquoWe will all

face fear experience ridiculeand meet opposition Let

usmdashall of usmdashhave the courage

to defy the consensus the

courage to stand for prin-

ciple Courage not com-

promise brings the smile of

Godrsquos approvalrdquo (ldquoBe Strong

and of a Good Couragerdquo

Ensign May 2014 69)

The scriptures give you some basic principles for standing up for your faith including the following

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 19

ldquoWe s983152e983137k

NOT IN THE WORDS which 983149983137983150rsquos

WISDOM TEACH ETH

but which THE HOLY GHOST

TEACHETHrdquo

(1 Corinthians 213)

ldquoHE THATHATH THE

SPIRIT OF CONTENTIONIS NOT OF ME

BUT ISOF THE DEVIL

WHO IS THE FATHER OFCONTENTION AND

HE STIRRETH UPTHE HEARTS

OF MEN

TO CONTEND WITH ANGER

ONE WITH ANOTHERrdquo(3 Nephi 1129)

HERErsquoS SOME ADVICE FROM THE SCRIPTURES

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2252

How Do You Defend Do you have experi-ence in defending yourbeliefs Or do you haveideas to add to theselists Go to ldsorggodefendNE8 and share

Finding Courage

Read more on this topic atldsorggocourageNE8

someonersquos doing that to you

donrsquot retaliate and do the

same thing back to them The

Apostle Peter taught that the

Savior Himself gave the exam-

ple you should follow in thisregard (see 1 Peter 223)

ldquoLOVE YOUR ENEMIESbless them

that curse you

DO GOOD TO T HEMTHAT HATE YOU

and pray for

them which

DESPITEFULLY USE YOUAND PERSECUTE YOUrdquo

(Matthew 544)ldquoSEE THAT YE ARE NOT lifted u983152 u983150to

983152ride ye983137 SEE THAT YE DO

NOT BOAST IN YOUR

OWN WISDOM

983150or of your 983149uch stre983150983143thldquoUSE BOLDNESS

BUT NOT

OVERBEARANCErdquo (Alma 3811ndash12)

Here the word tenets

refers to opinions or teachings

that go beyond the basics So

the Lord is saying to stick to

the basic message of the gos-

pel when yoursquore declaring Hisglad tidings This also applies

to defending your faith

You donrsquot need to stray into

detailed discussions about

every little thing related to the

Church As Elder Richard G

Scott of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles has said

ldquoKeep your sharing of the

gospel simple rdquo (ldquo lsquoI HaveGiven You an Examplerdquo

Ensign May 2014 34)

ldquoEveryone independent

of his or her decisions and

beliefs deserves our kind-

ness and considerationrdquo said

Elder Neil L Andersen of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles ldquoThe Savior

taught us to love not only

our friends but also those

who disagree with usmdashand

even those who repudiate

usrdquo (ldquoSpiritual Whirlwindsrdquo

Ensign May 2014 20)

Again be humble Itrsquos not

about you or how smart and

capable you are Also you can

be bold without making over-

blown statements or being

a verbal or intellectual bully

As Elder Jeffrey R Holland

of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoYou willone day find yourself called

upon to defend your faith

Such moments will require

both courage and courtesy

on your partrdquo (ldquoThe Costmdashand

Blessingsmdashof Discipleshiprdquo

Ensign May 2014 6)

ldquoA983150d of te983150ets thou sh983137lt 983150ot t983137lk but thou shalt

declare repentance andfaith on the Savior and 983154e983149issio983150 of si983150sby baptism and by fire

yea even the Holy Ghostrdquo(DampC 1931)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2352

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2452

22 N e w E r a

I received my first two-wheel bicycle

when I was eight years old With

the help of my older brother and

father I began the rather scary pro-

cess of figuring out how to ride it The other kids in the neighborhood

made it look so easy and natural as

they zoomed up and down the street

on their bikes I perched on the bike

seatmdashwhich seemed to be at least

10 feet (3 m) above the groundmdashand

realized there was absolutely noth-

ing to keep me from falling over and

proving that the law of gravity was

alive and well As I tried riding I learned quickly

that if I wanted to stay balanced I had

to keep pedaling When I first sat on

the seat speed was the last thing I

wanted to add to the already daunting

equation But I very soon understood

the wisdom and the physics involved

in moving forward As long as I kept

pedaling I could stay upright and

avoid the rough concrete just waiting

to take the skin off my arms and legs

Soon I was zipping around the neigh-

borhood with my friends

Defy Gr983137vity Defy Gr983137vity

of the First Presidency as outlined

in that booklet our lives will be bal-

anced and steady We will be led

where we want to go

We need to keep moving forwardto avoid falling To do that we should

consistently and faithfully do certain

actions

bull Pray morning and night

bull Study the scriptures daily

bull Attend Church meetings and par-

take of the sacrament worthily

bull Serve those around us

bull Be worthy to attend the temple

All of these actions keep us moving

forward in the right direction

Thatrsquos why reading and being famil-

iar with the standards described in For

the Strength of Youth will help ensure

we are making choices consistent with

Godrsquos standards Living these princi-

ples and keeping the commandments

F O R T H E S T R E N G T H O F Y O U T H

By Bonnie LOscarson

Young WomenGeneral President

As you keep moving forward you can stay upright even

when outside forces try to pull you down

Just as those who keep

pedaling a bike can stay

upright despite gravityrsquos

influence those who are

guided by the Holy Spirit in

all they do can withstand

the influence of theadversary

So it is with living the gospel and

the standards in For the Strength of

Youth It takes faith to believe that if

we consistently follow the counsel

GO FORWARD WITH FAITH

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 23

invite the Holy Ghost to be our con-

stant companion Just as those who

keep pedaling a bike can stay upright

despite gravityrsquos influence those who

are guided by the Holy Spirit in allthey do can withstand the influence of

the adversary

What are the destinations you have

in mind as you pedal forward For all

young men of the Aaronic Priesthood

preparing now for a full-time mission

is important in forward growth For

all youth being prepared to go to the

temple and receive the endowment by

making and keeping sacred covenantsshould also be a primary goal

As the message from the First

Presidency at the beginning of For the

Strength of Youth says ldquoIn all that you

do stay focused on the temple In the

temple you will receive the greatest

of all the Lordrsquos blessings including

marriage for time and all eternityrdquo1

Receiving the covenant of eternal

marriage in the house of the Lord and

becoming righteous husbands wives

fathers and mothers may seem far

down the road but the time to beginpreparing is now All of these things

lead to the most glorious and grand

destination of allmdasheternal life with

our Heavenly Father

One of my favorite scriptures

sums up what we need to do in order

to keep moving toward our goals

ldquoWherefore ye must press forward

with a steadfastness in Christ hav-

ing a perfect brightness of hopeand a love of God and of all men

Wherefore if ye shall press forward

feasting upon the word of Christ and

endure to the end behold thus saith

the Father Ye shall have eternal liferdquo

(2 Nephi 3120)

Just as I learned as an eight-year-

old girl that I needed to keep pedaling

and moving forward in order to defy

gravity and keep my balance on my

bicycle it is important for all of us to

keep moving forward with faith trust-

ing in the counsel of living prophetsand a loving Heavenly Father to keep

us from falling Some of our destina-

tions are just down the road while

others will take a lifetime of faithful

living to achieve The promises of

what lies at the end of the road if we

are faithful are certain and glorious

and well worth the ride NE

NOTE

1 For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

Learn MoreSee whatrsquos next in your covenant path

at ldsorggocovenantNE8

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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24 N e w E r a

BOA R D

GA M E S

B y Da vid Chris tensen

My chance to play le f t

a lasting impact but it

wasnrsquot what Irsquod e xpected

L o s i n

g s o

q u i c k

l y w

a s b

a d e

n o u

g h

b

u t t o

m a k

e m

a t t e r s

w o r s e

t h

e o t h

e r g

u y

s s t a r t e

d t o

m a k

e

f u n

o f

m e

I

t r i e d

t o c o

n t i n

u e

p l a y i n g

e v e

n t h

o u

g h

t h e y

w e r

e b

e i n

g m

e a n

b

u t i t

w a s h

a r d t o h o

l d b

a c k m y t e

a r s

o f f r u s t

r a t i o n

U

n f o

r t u n a t e l y

o n e t e

a r t r i c k l e

d d

o w

n m y

c h e e

k b

e f o

r e I

c o u

l d w i p

e i t

a w a y M

y b

r o t h

e r

s a w i t

a n d

t e a s e

d m

e t o

o

I c o

u l d

n rsquo t

t a k e i t

a n y

m o r e

a n d

r a n t o

m y

r o o m

I g a v e m y s e l

f a q u i c k p i n

c h

t o m a k e s u r

e I w a s n rsquo

t d r e a m i n g

a n d t h e

n I v o i c e d

a t i m i d ldquo Y e

a h

s u r e rdquo I s t

i l l c o u l d

n rsquo t b e l i e

v e t h a t

m y b r o t h e

r h a d i n v

i t e d m e t o

p l a y a g a m e w i t h

t h e ldquo b i g k i

d s rdquo

A f t e r a l l

I rsquo d b e e n t o l d f o r t h

r e e

y e a r s t h a

t I w a s s t i l l

t o o y o u

n g

t o p l a y m o r e d i f fi

c u l t b o a

r d

g a m e s w i t h m y b r o

t h e r a n d

h i s f r i e n d s

A N D B R O

T H

E R S

I

felt the hot tears of anger slowly slide

down my face I wiped them away with

my hand but I could still feel the

slightly salty taste on my lips assobs of anguish began to pour out

I just wanted to hang out with my

brother Why couldnrsquot he be my

friend too

J u s t a f e w

h o u r s

b e f o

r e I h a d

s t a r e d a t

m y o

l d e r b

r o t h

e r S t e v e

i n c o

m p

l e t e s u r p

r i s e

w a i t i n

g f o r h

i m t o

t e

l l

m e t h

a t h e w

a s o n

l y

j o k i n g ldquo W

e l l d o y o

u

w a n

t t o p

l a y rdquo S t e v e

a s k e d i m p

a

t i e n t l y

I w

e n t i n t o t h e

r o o m w h

e r e t h e

o l d e r b o y s

w e r e

s e t t i n g u p

t h e b o a r d

g a m e A s t h e

g a m e s t a r t e d

w i t h

e v e r y o n e s t r a t e g i c a l l y

p l a c i n g

t h e i r g a m

e

p i e c e s

I f e l t l i k e

I w

a s d r e a

m i n g F o r

t h e fi r s t t i m

e

I f e l t e q u a l t o

m y b r o t h e r mdash

n o t l i k e I

w a s j u s t h i s

t a g a l o n g

T h e d r e a m

e n d e d q u i c k

l y h o w e v e r

T h e

g a m e w

a s t o u g h

a n d m y i n

e x p e r i e n c e

a n d l a c k

o f k n o w l e d g e

b e c

a m e

p a i n f u l l y o b v i o u s

a s t h e o t

h e r

p l a y e r s q u i c k l y

a n d

s o u n d l y d e f e a t e d

m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2852

26 N e w E r a

Le983137r983150i983150983143 the i983150s 983137983150d outs of d983137ti983150983143 c983137983150 be h983137rd Let this course tur983150 you

i983150to 983137 d983137ti983150983143 983152ro

By Matthew ORichardson

Served as Second

Counselor in theSunday SchoolGeneral Presidencyfrom 2009 to 2014

hile speaking to youth about how to prepare for a celestial marriage

President Thomas S Monson emphasized that ldquoproper dating is a part

of preparation for marriagerdquo 1 Have you thought much about happy

relationships Elder Russell M Nelson of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said a ldquocelestial marriage brings greater possibilities for happiness than

does any other relationshiprdquo2

When I was serving as bishop in a young single adult ward I worried about those

who approached dating with very little purpose understanding or direction This

caused me to wonder if my own children would be any different when their time came

My wife and I decided to help our children prepare for ldquoproper datingrdquo and happy rela-tionships by creating the Richardson Dating Academy or RDA as our children call it

It wasnrsquot long after we started the RDA that friends of our children wanted to partici-

pate and even become RDA graduates So how about you Are you ready to become a

dating academy graduate yourself Class is in session

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 27

Lesso983150 1 ur983152oses 983137983150d St983137983150d983137rds of D983137ti983150983143

Lesso983150 2 W983137tch 983137983150d Le983137r983150

Homework

As you know ldquodatingrdquo means different things to differ-

ent people Your first assignment is to figure out just what

a ldquodaterdquo is according to Church standards Can you explain

the purposes of dating and the specific dating standards and

guidelines set by the Church Or do you know when itrsquosmost appropriate to be involved in dating and steady dating

(having a boyfriend or girlfriend)

You can find answers to these questions in the ldquoDatingrdquo

section of For the Strength of Youth The First Presidency

reminds us why knowing and understanding these stan-

dards are so important They promise ldquoThe standards in this

Elder Jeffrey R Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles once explained that most athletic contests have ldquolines

drawn on the floor or the field within which every participant

must stay in order to competerdquo3 Success depends on how

well a competitor knows and stays within the set boundaries

Likewise itrsquos important to know the ldquodating linesrdquo or the pur-

poses and standards of dating as taught by Church leaders

One of the most com-

mon ways people learn

is by watching others

Dating is no different

In the dating academy

we spend time observ-

ing others in dating

situations In our family

we learned many point-ersmdashsome to do others

to avoidmdashby watching

dates in progress at

restaurants and other

settings Yes we went to

certain places with the

sole purpose to observe

dates for ldquoclassrdquo

booklet will help you with the important choices you are

making now and will yet make in the futurerdquo4

Now that you have a solid foundation of the stan-

dards and purposes of dating (you did do your home-

work and read that section didnrsquot you) itrsquos time to move

on to lesson 2

Tips

Here are some suggestions that will help you learn

as you observe

bull Watch but donrsquot be creepy This is about learning from

others but not stalking staring or even judging Look for

things you like and things you would like to avoid

bull Go to a variety of places and settings to observe others

Not every date is the same nor should it be Watch how thesetting affects the experience

bull Watch how people interact with each other Can you tell

who is with whom Are they paying attention to each

other In what ways Are they talking with each other Do

they look like they enjoy being with each other How can

you tell if they are having fun

bull Talk with a parent leader or good friends and share what

you noticed and what you learned

Homework

The next time you go

out to eat attend a movie

or go to almost any activ-

ity make an effort to look

around and see how other

people are interacting It

may surprise you to see

how much dating is actu-ally going on Take the

time to learn from those

around you by paying

attention to whatrsquos work-

ing and what isnrsquot

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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28 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 3 l983137983150983150i983150983143 983137 D983137te

Tips

bull Start planning early

bull Donrsquot be afraid to bounce ideas off your friendsparents and others They can provide excellent

suggestions that you havenrsquot even thought about

bull Make sure you let your budget amount of time

available the reasons for dating and Church stan-

dards guide your planning

bull Think of what you hope will happen during the

date from beginning to end This helps you realize

what needs to be done to make the date a success

bull Pay attention to details Call ahead for event times

prices menus and what the proper dress is for

the occasion

bull Plan for emergencies For example what will you

do if you donrsquot have enough money or have car

trouble What if your date gets sick

Homework

Rather than leaving everything to chance dating acad-

emy grads understand what needs to happen and theyplan accordingly

Your homework assignment even if yoursquore years away

from dating is to practice planning an event You can

brainstorm with friends really fun ideas for a date Then

work together to think of what planning is required to

make those ideas actually happen Or you can ask your

parents to let you plan the next family outing

You might choose a place to eat or what to do Plan all

the details (event times travel time cost backup plans)

and then put your plan into action You could evencome up with a dating plan complete with backup ideas

if something goes wrong and share it in family home

evening while talking together around the dinner table

or with friends You may find that properly planning an

activity is almost as much fun as the actual date

The quality of experience yoursquoll have with others is

often determined by what happens before a date begins

Showing up on your datersquos doorstep with no plan is a

recipe for an awkward experience Nobody likes playing

the ldquoWhat do you want to dordquo game

Yoursquore better than that With a little practice you can

become a date-planning champion And young women

no fair skipping this section While most of the time young

men plan and ask for dates yoursquoll still want to have these

skills down for when itrsquos your turn

Group Date IdeasNeed ideas Check out ldsorggoideasNE8 Some

of the youth activities there could be adapted for dates

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Homework

In the Richardson Dating Academy all of our

children practiced dating invitations For example

our children might call an aunt older sibling or other

family member to practice inviting someone on a

date Or our son or daughter would receive an invita-

tion from a family member and practice responding

They learned how to deal with rejection acceptance

or even a disinterested response or two

Now itrsquos your turn Working with your parents ask

them to line up somebody in your family you can call

and practice inviting on a date Make sure you do this

more than once

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 29

You know your dating standards front and back

yoursquove watched others in dating situations and

yoursquove come up with a solid date plan

Congratulations Now you still need to invite

someone Or you need to know how to respond

when you are invited So whatrsquos the best way A

phone call Ask in person Here are some different

points to consider

Lesso983150 4 I983150viti983150983143 Others 983137983150d Bei983150983143 I983150vited

Tips

bull Be ready to give details when you invite

someone on a date Talk about what you have

planned start and end times whorsquos participat-ing and how they should dress (casual dressy

etc) Your excellent planning from academy

lesson 3 makes this part of the academy easy

bull Therersquos a time to talk by phone and a time to

ask face-to-face The more important the event

is the more personal the invitation should be

Donrsquot be afraid to skip technology and actually

talk with someone

bull Some events may require you to speak with

your datersquos parents first This shows respectand courtesy

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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30 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 5 O983150 the D983137te

It would be impossible for any dating academy to cover

every little thing to consider or plan for in dating So much

depends on good judgment communication with your par-

ents and listening to the Spirit

Still here are a few key points you might want to brush

up on before putting your date plan into action

Tips

bull Develop a ldquoyou firstrdquo attitude This means you always

think of your date first Is he or she having fun Is he or

she comfortable

bull Make sure you dress appropriately for the occasion

The way you dress usually communicates how you feelabout others and about the event Know the difference

between casual (but never sloppy) semiformal and

formal and when it would be appropriate to dress in

those ways

bull Show common courtesy by opening doors saying

thank you talking less about yourself and more about

your date and extending sincere compliments

bull Learn how to navigate restaurants Know how to make

a reservation get a table calculate a service tip and

pay the bill

Homework

Once again the best way to learn any good skill is by practic-

ing it Our youth enjoyed role-playing different situations

to think about how to act most appropriately We

also loved going out to eat as part of the dating acad-

emy experience Our children learned how to act in

a restaurant order a meal calculate the tip and paythe bill by actually doing it when they were with us

Look for opportunities to practice skills you should use on a

date For example the next time you and your family go some-

where ask your parents to let you purchase the tickets order

the meal or calculate the tip Treat your family or friends with

the same respect and courtesy that you should show others on a

date Open doors for your family be the first to say ldquothank yourdquo

and pay attention so you are part of the conversation

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 31

Lesso983150 6 The Doorste983152

NOTES

1 Thomas S Monson ldquoPreparation BringsBlessingsrdquo Ensign May 2010 64

2 Russell M Nelson ldquoCelestial Marriagerdquo Ensign Nov 2008 93

3 Jeffrey R Holland ldquoWe Are All Enlistedrdquo Ensign Nov 2011 45

4 ldquoMessage to the Youth from The First Presi-dencyrdquo For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

5 John Bytheway ldquoWhat Do Kisses Meanrdquo New Era Oct 2004 38ndash41

Last but not least dating

academy graduates know how

to conclude a date on the right

note Nothing sours a great date

more than a bad ending

Herersquos how you can finish a

date with success

Tips

bull Express gratitude Be sincere

and to the point If there was something you especially

liked tell your date what

it was

bull Therersquos no reason for drag-

ging things on at this point

Yoursquove already spent plenty

of time together Avoid the

ldquodoorstep shufflerdquo When

people arenrsquot sure what to

say they tend to shuffle backand forth or move their feet

in place If you find yourself

ldquoshufflingrdquo in place itrsquos a

pretty good signal that you

need to say good-bye

bull Know and follow the

Churchrsquos counsel on kissing

and physical intimacy (You

might also want to read John

Bythewayrsquos article ldquoWhat Do

Kisses Meanrdquo5 at ldsorggo

kissesNE8)

Homework

Yes herersquos another opportunity for practicing Our family has spent several family

home evenings role-playing doorstep good-byes Itrsquos been both helpful and fun to

watch an older sibling coach the younger sibling with dorsquos and donrsquots

Most memorable was an older sister showing how she could turn a hug into a

handshake with the grace of a princess and the speed of a ninja You too can get

together with family members and role-play different scenarios that might happen on

a doorstep We guarantee itrsquoll be an academy night yoursquoll all remember

Gr983137du983137tio983150

If yoursquove studied all the

material worked on the tips done

the homework and talked through

the lessons with your parents and

family you too can become a

dating academy graduate

As you continue strengthening

these important skills yoursquoll find

support strength and power that

will bless your relationships both

now and in the future You will be

better prepared for happiness NE

Do Try This at HomeInterested in having a dating academy at

home Let your parents know therersquos an RDAarticle for them in this monthrsquos Ensign or atldsorggoRDA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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32 N e w E r a

S U N DA Y L E S S

O N S

This Monthrsquos Topic

Ma r r iage a nd

Fa m i l y

MARRIAGE IS WORTH ITldquoIt is so rewarding to bemarried Marriage is wonder-ful In time you begin to thinkalike and have the same ideasand impressions You havetimes when you are extremelyhappy times of testing andtimes of trial but the Lordguides you through all ofthose growth experiencestogetherrdquo

Elder Richard G Scott of the

Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo

Ensign May 2011 96

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 33

We love being marr ied and he

rersquos why

By Ben and Rachel Nielsen

Letrsquos face it girls (and boys) itrsquos nice to know that someone loves you

And when yoursquore married you have chances to share and receive love every

day When I was talking to my parents about the possibility of marrying

Ben my dad said ldquoWhomever you choose to marry I want him to fre-

quently and sincerely express his love for you like Elder Richard G Scott did

for his wiferdquo3 I listened to Dad

I decided to marry Ben and he has always made an effort to express

his love to me in small and big ways During my senior year of college I

worked for months to prepare apply and interview for a prestigious intern-ship And when I finally heard that I got the job I came home and saw a

vase full of flowers from my husband He knew how hard I had worked and

how much the internship meant to me At other times hersquoll hide my favorite

drink and a love note in the fridge before he heads out for a weekend Scout

camp And every day hersquoll do the dishes and make me laugh Ben is great at

expressing his love for me and that brings both of us great joy

During my mission in Brazil I grew to love soccer One thing that I lovemost about this sport is having teammates and learning how to work together

with my team Rachel is a fantastic teammate She helps me achieve my

goals joins me in making important decisions and is there for me when I

have trouble

When we were sealed in the temple we promised to ldquohelp one another as

equal partnersrdquo2 Rachel and I strive to support each other in everything we

do and itrsquos great to know that I always have a reliable teammate

After our first date we both

knew we wanted to go

on a second date Ben

wanted to go on

another date because Rachel was

friendly and fun to talk to Rachel

wanted to go on another date

because Ben was a gentleman

and was still smiling after all of

his well-laid plans fell through

After the second date plus manymore dates and prayers after

that we fell in love and decided

to get married in the Sacramento

California Temple

The wedding day was abso-

lutely perfect and we have loved

being married ever since The

world may see marriage differ-

ently but we know that ldquono other

relationship of any kind canbring as much joy generate as

much good or produce as much

personal refinementrdquo1 Marriage

is awesome and herersquos why

FROM BEN A T e a m m a t e

FROM RACHEL

E x p r e s s i o n s o f L o v e

WHY MARRIAGE IS

A w e s o m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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34 N e w E r a

JOIN THE CONVERSATION

Things to Ponder for Sunday

bull What qualities and attitudes make for the strongest

and happiest marriages and families

bull What are you doing now that will help your future

marriage and family stay strong and happy

Things You Might Do

bull Share with some friends your goal of marrying and

having a family and tell them why

bull In church share why you are looking forward

to marriage and family and how you are pre-

paring for them

serving in the Church and inviting others to come unto

Christ As we work together to build the kingdom of God

we grow closer our love deepens and life is more fulfilling

Dating Rachel is so much fun In fact we make surethat we still frequently go on dates even as a married

couple After we first met we found that we enjoy many

of the same activities walking through parks attending

plays watching sporting events eating new and different

food listening to music and so much more I loved doing

these things before I met Rachel but theyrsquore even more

fun now that we get to share them together When yoursquore

married you have someone to enjoy life withmdashand that

makes life awesome

Before I met Ben I was nearing the age of missionary

service and had seriously considered serving a full-time

mission But then Ben entered my life and I knew that

Heavenly Father had a different plan for me

When Ben and I got engaged relatives who knew

about my thoughts to serve a mission asked me about my

choice and I would tell them ldquoI decided that I wanted topick my own missionary companionmdashand stay with him

for eternityrdquo

When yoursquore married you and your spouse have the

chance to participate in the work of salvation together

Ben and I have found great joy in building a Christ-

centered home studying and living the gospel together

Despite what the world may say marriage is awesome

and is worth making a priority When yoursquore married you

have a teammate you give and receive love you enjoy life

more fully and you have someone to build the kingdom

of God with All of that brings us great joy and because

we were sealed in the temple we can have this joy forever

If we keep our covenants we will be together for eternityand receive the crowning blessings of the priesthood We

ldquohave found in marriage the richest fulfillment of human

existencerdquo 4 NE

Ben and Rachel Nielsen live in Utah USA

NOTES

1 L Whitney Clayton ldquoMarriage Watch and Learnrdquo Ensign May 2013 83 2 ldquoThe Family A Proclamation to the Worldrdquo Ensign Nov 2010 129 3 See Richard G Scott ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo Ensign May

2011 96 4 James E Faust ldquoEnriching Your Marriagerdquo Ensign Apr 2007 6

FROM BEN M o r e E n jo y m e n t

FROM RACHEL A n E t e r n a l M is s i o n a r y C o m p a n io n

TAKE IT FROM US

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Your family can help unite the family of GodYou can all share the gospel in natural and pleasant ways

P H O T O I L L U S T R A T I O N B Y D A V I D S T O K E R

M O R M O N A D

(See M Russell Ballard ldquoPut Your Trust in the Lordrdquo Ensign Nov 2013 43)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 3852

36 N e w E r a

By Alex Larsen

I always knew I wanted to be a mother but when I was grow-

ing up it wasnrsquot always on my mind When my fianceacute and I

were engaged one day I was talking with one of my college

professorsmdasha woman I greatly admiredmdashabout my engage-

ment She said something that brought my life choices into sharp

focus ldquoYou are wasting your talentrdquo she told me as she shook

her head She went on to say that someone as smart as I was

should not get married young She assumed I would have chil-

dren in my future and would be ldquothrowing awayrdquo my education

and chances of a stellar career on my future motherhood I could

tell by the way she looked at me that she thought I was making

a terrible and naiumlve mistake

Itrsquos been several years since that conversation and my hus-

band and I have two little girls Kate is three years old and is

my little sweetheart She moves through life at a leisurely pace

savoring all of the little details she notices Annabel is one yearold with bright blue eyes and a head of curls Shersquos exuberant

and determined Though I didnrsquot change my mind because of

what my professor said our discussion has stayed with me In

one way my professorrsquos predictions were correct I do not have

a prestigious working career But my professor got the most

important point wrong because I have wasted nothing

g i v i n

g u p e v e r y

t hi n g

but wh a t

I

g a i n ed

w as w o r t h so much m o r e

T h e wor l d t o l d me

I w ould

b e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 37

their spirits growing and developing I remember

the first time Kate pointed to a picture of the Savior and

said ldquoJesusrdquo I knew then that what I was doing was eter-

nally significant in the lives of my children

The world often tells us that lifersquos rewards come in

the form of status money or grand accomplishments

but I know therersquos great satisfaction even in the small

acts of changing diapers or wiping sticky fingers Every

little thing I do as a mother is part of helping to build the

kingdom of God by nurturing His children I always knew

I wanted children but it was not until I held my first baby

in my arms that I began to realize how much my heart

was capable of loving

The love I have for my daughters has helped me bet-

ter understand how much my Heavenly Father loves all

of His children When speaking of little children Jesustaught that ldquoof such is the kingdom of heavenrdquo (Matthew

1914) More than anything motherhood has helped me

to grow as a daughter of God because now I know what

a daughter of God looks like from the eyes of a parent

The world makes us think that a woman loses herself in

motherhoodmdashshe loses her body her free time and her

career But I have found myself in motherhood I feel

more beautiful and more valuable than ever before NE

Alex Larsen lives in California USA

I love the opportunity to stay home and care for my

young children because these are the most formative

years of their lives I have the opportunity to create a rich

home environment for my girls by reading and discussing

things with them as part of our everyday life Kate will

often astound me by remembering and commenting on

something wersquod read in a book several weeks before and

Annabel learns a new skill almost every day But as fun

and important as it is to watch them learn new

information and skills I feel the

most satisfied when I see

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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38 N e w E r a

One o f t h e g r e a t e s t ad v enture s o f y o u r l i f e w i l l b e y our rol e a n d c a l l i n g a s a f a t her

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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ROcksROcksROcks

NOTE

1 See Thomas S Monson ldquoWelcome to Conferencerdquo Ensign Nov 2012 4ndash5

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 39

DA D D A DD AD

By Chris Deaver

W

hen I was younger I loved spending time

with my dad He always knew the bestgames to play the best stories to tell at night

and the most interesting sports to try It was

like he was born to be a great dad

Fast-forward my life to when I married my sweetheart

Julia and then even further to the moment that our first

child Daniel was born I was filled with a rush of emo-

tions I was happy shocked amazed and a little scared

I felt totally inadequate to be a father and to have the

responsibility of teaching and being an example to my son

But I quickly realized that Irsquod been preparing all my life tobe a dad When I held my son in my arms for the first time

and looked down into his face I felt the Spirit touch my

heart and I realized that I was ready to try to be a great

dad just like my own dad was to me

When Daniel was very young he already had a great

sense of humor He learned to tell hilarious jokes that

would make my wife and me laugh He also often said

things that inspired us Shortly after hearing President

Thomas S Monson announce the change in age require-

ments for young men and young women preparingto serve missions1 we were driving in the car Daniel

announced that he would start preparing himself right

then at age six so he would have 12 years of preparation

Then he said with a smile ldquoDad can I change the song

from lsquoI Hope They Call Me on a Missionrsquo to lsquoI AM Going on

a Missionrsquordquo It was awesome

WHYbeing a

Three years after Daniel was born he was followed by his

brother Austin For me as a dad itrsquos been great to watch bothboys become best friends And Austin has been just as fun

as Daniel in his own way He enjoys building and destroying

block towers and one of his favorite activities is to fearlessly

wrestle me as if I stand no chance against his four-year-old

powers Of course I give in and let him winmdashso I guess I

reinforce his belief But itrsquos so much fun I know hersquoll be a

great wrestler but what I want most is for him to wrestle

ldquoagainst the rulers of the darkness of this worldrdquo and ldquoagainst

spiritual wickednessrdquo like it says in the scriptures (Ephesians

612) And I hope Irsquom helping to prepare him to do that We just recently had our third child a baby girl named

Faith During the delivery my wife was having some com-

plications and we were scared for our baby I gave Julia

a blessing Then she asked me to sing to her The Spirit

brought peace to both of us Soon baby Faith came safely

into the world It was a miracle and she definitely lived up

to her name Faithrsquos beautiful smile brightens my life I canrsquot

express in words how much she means to me

For any young man still wondering let me tell you You

were born to be a great dad The world may not agree butfatherhood is the best Someday yoursquoll find that your kids

inspire you too and that being a dad is the greatest adven-

ture of your life Yes itrsquos a duty and something you need to

take seriously but being a dad is unlike anything else NE

Chris Deaver lives in Florida USA

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40 N e w E r a

We always seem to be encouraged to read more

because well everyone knows that reading is a

good thing But not all books are worth reading and just

because sexual material is written about rather than pho-

tographed or video recorded doesnrsquot mean that itrsquos less

morally hazardous Making a common display of a sacred

intimacy thatrsquos intended to only be part of a marriage rela-

tionship is wrongmdashwhether in words or imagesIf something yoursquore reading contains explicit sexual

descriptions that imprint themselves on your mind and

arouse sexual feelings in the same way that looking at

pornographic images would then guess what Itrsquos pornog-

raphy Remember the counsel in For the Strength of Youth

ldquoChoose wisely when using media because whatever you

read listen to or look at has an effect on you Select only

media that uplifts yourdquo ([2011] 11) NE

T O T H E P O I N T

President Boyd K

Packer President of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoEach

of us must come to ourown personal testimony

of the Lord Jesus Christ

We then share that testi-

mony with our family and

othersrdquo1 It can sometimes

be easy to question the

depth of your testimony

I know looking at pornographic

pictures is wrong but whatabout reading books with

ldquoromanticrdquo scenes

If I donrsquot have a burning

desire to share thegospel does that mean I

donrsquot have a testimony

when you compare your-

self to people like Brigham

Young who once said ldquoI

wanted to thunder and

roar out the gospel to thenations It burned in my

bones like fire pent uprdquo2

So what if you donrsquot feel

fire in your bones

Hopefully your lack of

desire doesnrsquot come from

a lack of concern for your

fellowmen As your faith in

Jesus Christ grows so does

your love of all people a

love that is a mark of the

true followers of Christ (see

Moroni 748 John 1335)

Itrsquos likely however

that your hesitancy sim-

ply comes from fear and

anxiety about speaking toothers For many people

such feelings can be over-

whelming Even prophets

have had doubts about their

ability to speak to people

(see Exodus 410 Moses

631) They of course

had no reason to question

their testimoniesmdashand

neither should you if you

are studying the scriptures

pondering praying fasting

repenting and doing all the

other things that help bring

the Spirit into your life

If you feel you just

need a little extra cour-age to share the gos-

pel visit ldsorggo

shareNE8 for ideas NE

NOTES

1 Boyd K Packer ldquoThe Witnessrdquo Ensign May 2014 96

2 Teachings of Presidents ofthe Church Brigham Young (1997) viii

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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C O M E F O L L O W M E

Family

983152983137tter983150 of

President Boyd K PackerPresident of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

April 2014 general conference

The ultimate end

of all activity in

the Church is that

a man and his wife

and their childrencan be happy

at home

The FamilyYoursquoll be studying about the family in your Sunday classes

this month As you study and discuss family you may pon-der these questions Why do Church leaders emphasize

family so much What is the place of family in Heavenly

Fatherrsquos plan How does family help make us happy

To find some answers to these questions see the

family proclamation near the back of your Personal

Progress or Duty to God booklet or online at ldsorg

gofamilyNE8 Yoursquoll also find teachings about

family relationships in general conference talks at

conferenceldsorg

Give yourself an easy reminder to prepare for your

Sunday lessons on the family Just place these cards

in your scriptures locker or bedroom You can also

download or share them online at ldsorggocardsNE8 B A C K G R O U N D T E X T U R E

B Y I S T O C K P H O T O T H I N K S T O C K

We 983150eed We 983150eed

MOR E

983155tre983150983143the983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

RELATIONSHIPS

983153u983137lity 983153u983137lity TIME amp EFFORT INTO

TO PUT

983155re983150983143te983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4452

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4552

T H E E X T R A S M I L E

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 43

I dont like to pack so I rsquo m just wearing all my stuff

JON CLARK

W h a t m a k e s y o

u t h i n k

D a d rsquo s t a l k i n g t o

t h e

p r o p h e t

B ecaus e h e s ai d h e w as on a conf er ence cal l

RYAN STOKER

F r o m n o w o n j u s t t a k e

a p i c t u r e o f t h e t o o t h a n

d

u p l o a d i t t o m y F a c e b o o k

p a g e

a n d t h e n I rsquo l l s e n d y o u t h e

m o n e y t h r o u g h P a y P a l

RANDY GLASBERGEN

[Gasp] He he made h is bed this morning

And I didnrsquo t even ask

VAL CHADWICK BAGLEY

Who says there arenrsquo t modern m iracles

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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44 N e w E r a

ldquoMymom works

Since you donrsquot see your mom often make sure that

the time you do have together is used well You

could talk to your mom about how to do this She

wants a good relationship with you too and will

help you work on it Try asking her what she would

appreciate coming home to a clean house doing an activity

together just talking with you As you regularly do activities your mom appreciates your relationship will improve

Of course you could plan some fun activities to do together

but any meaningful time togethermdashsuch as washing the dishes

or reading the scripturesmdashcan be a great way to build your

relationship

Also plan time for communication Understanding one

another is a key ingredient in good relationships One thing

to discuss is how your momrsquos work schedule will affect your

relationship with her You can avoid misunderstandings if you

talk about your expectations as well as your momrsquosPrayer will help Families are important to Heavenly Father

so He can inspire you to know how to improve your relation-

ship with your mom Donrsquot ignore a prompting to do something

that seems small (see Alma 376) A hug and a smile for exam-

ple can make a big difference NE

Write a Note

Even if you have very

little time together you

can still express your

love to your mother

Write her thoughtful secret notes As

she reads them at work she will think

of you Do as much as you can for

her Think about her more often and

pray for her Ask the Lord to inspire

you and prompt you regarding how

you can improve your relationship Irinka E 20 Odessa Ukraine

Seek to Understand Her

Try to understand her situation

because she works for your benefit

You can begin by helping with things

at home like cleaning the house

helping your siblings and cooking

You also can share scriptures with

your mom pray together and doactivities that you like to do together

Morony M 18 Chihuahua Mexico

Have a Special Sunday

On some Sundays we

have a special lunch

or dinner with a new

dessert we talk and at

the end we sing hymns This brings

us together and helps us be betterfriends

Rebeca N 12 Satildeo Paulo Brazil

Try an Experiment

We arrange time to be together hav-

ing family home evening playing

games going to the beach having

lunch together All of this helps to

Q U E S T I O N S amp A N S W E R S

all day Howcan I improve our

relationshiprdquo

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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keep the flame of a good relationship

alive When we disagree we avoid

criticizing I know that sometimes I

ask not to do housework but this

contributes to disharmony in the

home Since I began this experiment

mdashcomplaining less lowering my

voice helping more with housework

and talking more with my mothermdash

a sweet spirit has developed in our

home and we cooperate more

Glenda C 18 Bahia Brazil

Help at Home

Do some extra chores

around the house Your

mom has been work-

ing all day If she has

less work to do when she gets home

shersquoll probably be happier and have

more time to talk and do things with

you While you are talking you canask about her day at work It will

show her that you care and it will

open doors for other topics of discus-

sion allowing you to grow closer

Heather B 18 Oregon USA

Find Something You BothLike to Do

My mumrsquos relationship with me

skyrocketed when I said ldquoI want tospend more time with you but I donrsquot

know what to do or when to do itrdquo

Playing board games happens to be

our favorite pastime So we set aside

a time together to play laugh and

make memories When you are open

with your parents eventually they

become your best companions You

UPCOMING QUESTION

ldquoMy parents just

got divorced Irsquom angry that they

have broken up our

family How doI forgive themrdquo

Send your answer and photo by

September 15 2014

Go to neweraldsorg click ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo enter your LDS Accountand then select ldquoNew Erardquo

Responses may be edited for length

or clarity

Responses are intended for help and per-

spective not as official pronouncements ofChurch doctrine

will be able to talk to them about

anything and you will be sure of an

honest answer That is the sign of a

mature relationship

Ephraim S 15 New South Wales Australia

Read Scriptures Together

Both of you could set a goal to read

together every day even just five

minutes from the Book of Mormon

or any other Church book It will

strengthen your relationship andnourish you with the word of God

so you can be ready to face each day

Remember also to pray to God and

ask for His help I know He hears you

and loves you

Laura M 19 Coacuterdoba Argentina

LEARN FROM

YOUR MOTHER

ldquoPlease look to yourfaithful mothers fora pattern to followModel yourselves

after them not after celebritieswhose standards are not the Lordrsquosstandards and whose values maynot reflect an eternal perspectiveLook to your mother Learn fromher strengths her courage andher faithfulness Listen to her She

may not be a whiz at texting shemay not even have a Facebookpage But when it comes to mat-ters of the heart and the thingsof the Lord she has a wealth ofknowledgerdquo

Elder M Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles ldquoMothers and Daughtersrdquo

Ensign May 2010 19

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46 N e w E r a

MISERABLE TOTHE END OFTHE STREET

For one family home evening my

dad wanted to take advantage

of a pause in the rainy weather

to go on a walk around the neighbor-

hood I grumbled and complained

that it was too wet and muddy to

go walking I used the excuse that

I had a ballet recital that week and

didnrsquot want to sprain an ankle but

my dad didnrsquot buy it He insisted thatit was going to be the activity for the

evening I murmured a bit more about

the unfairness and my recital but we

left on the walk anyway

As I glumly stomped outside for

the walk with my family I was deter-

mined not to smile or be happy I

succeeded in feeling miserable until

I N S T A N T M E S S A G E S

we reached the end of the street Then

we turned the corner and I saw in full

force naturersquos beauty and wonder

Before me was a gorgeous sunset

and opposite it was a rainbow arching

above our neighborhood rooftops

I immediately forgot all about being

miserable and looked around in awe

On the way home I said a prayer of

gratitude thanking God for the beautyof His creations I later thanked my

dad for choosing the activity and for

allowing us to enjoy nature for that

family home evening

Jennie H North Carolina USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 47

STANDARDS AND FRIENDS

Since Irsquove been in school Irsquove had friends who havenrsquot understood the

moral standards of our religion At first it was difficult but over time

my friends have become used to the idea of my being morally clean I

made a goal in my life to be clean and pure and itrsquos worked out well both

for me and for those who used to criticize me Over time respect peace and

joy have become a part of our loving circle of friends

Vitoacuteria M Brazil

A DIFFICULT DECISION

FORGIVINGMY FRIENDS

As the only member of the

Church in my peer group

Irsquove experienced some

instances when my friends have

offended me Sometimes they judge

and criticize my religion I feel so

alone yet Irsquom thankful I know the

standards of the Church

If my friends offend me I try to

humble myself and avoid contention

because I know contention is evil When they start discussing some mat-

ters about the Church I just testify of

my belief in the gospel

I always forgive my friends with or

without their apology Forgiving is not

just about saying ldquoApology acceptedrdquo

or ldquoItrsquos OKrdquo because forgiveness has

a deep meaning Jesus Christ atoned

for our sins so that Heavenly Father

can forgive usEven though my friends donrsquot

understand my faith now I know that

I can be Godrsquos instrument to teach

them the gospel I am helping them

and at the same time I am helping

myself to grow spiritually and prepare

to serve a mission

Joshua V Philippines

As volleyball tryouts approached for my senior year in high

school I couldnrsquot believe the thought that was running through

my head I wasnrsquot supposed to play volleyball Irsquod played vol-

leyball since seventh grademdashwhy should this year be any different

Not seeing the sense in quitting I ignored the feeling and continued

to participate in summer volleyball events After a while the feeling

came back so I decided that if I really wasnrsquot supposed to be on the

team my coach would just cut me during tryouts

Then one night at the gym I couldnrsquot focus on the game at all I felt

terrible and restless inside I came home frustrated with my team and

with myself I sat next to my mom and sister and cried I told them

how confused I was and my mom told me to pray and ask Heavenly

Father what He wanted me to do I went up to my room and began to

pray I told Heavenly Father how I felt then I asked Him to help mefeel peace if I was not supposed to continue playing volleyball I felt

His peace in my heart and knew that I needed to quit

Irsquom still not sure all the reasons why that was the right

decision but I know that itrsquos what the Lord

wanted me to do and thatrsquos a good

enough reason for me

The next morning I told my

coach and my teammates that

I wasnrsquot going to be playing

Even though it was incrediblyhard I knew I was doing

the right thing

Klaire B Arizona USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5252

WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 1352

A BUDGET THAT WORKS

Yoursquove probably been told about budgets

from the day you earned your first nickel or

dime Thatrsquos because it really works A bud-get is a plan that will help you make the best

use of what you earn and save Herersquos one

way you can set up a budget of your own

1 Decide on a time frame for your budget

Most budgets plan for expenses monthly

2 Add up every dollar you plan to make

to figure out your expected income (Or

use last monthrsquos earnings for this monthrsquos

spending so you have an exact amount

available)

3 Calculate how much yoursquoll need to pay

for tithing along with any other offerings

you might want to give

4 Create a list of things you think yoursquoll pur-

chase throughout the month along with

how much theyrsquoll probably cost

5 Separate your needs from your wants

because yoursquoll want to spend your money

on needs first

6 Subtract the total cost of your needs from

your total income

7 Set aside a little money each month for

your wants

8 After paying for tithing and your imme-

diate needs put most of the money thatrsquos

left into savings Look to the future and set

a plan to save for college a mission (par-

ticularly young men) or other big things

Think about how much you need to save

every month to meet the financial goals

you have for those big things in the future

9 Remember that making your budget work

takes solid planning a strong commit-

ment and self-discipline Itrsquos tough but

itrsquos worth it

SHOPPING PRINCIPLES

If yoursquore like most teenagers yoursquore prob-

ably going to want to spend some of your

money at the mall at a store or online So

yoursquoll want to know some basic principles

about shopping before you go

bull Decide what yoursquore planning to buy

before you go shopping Then stick to

your plan and avoid the habit of buying

things on impulse

bull Buy something only if you really love it

Donrsquot let your friends a salesperson or an

advertisement talk you into buying some-

thing yoursquore not going to use often

bull Remember that the word sale doesnrsquot

always mean yoursquore getting a good deal

Look for the best quality at the lowest

price Sometimes that means paying a

little bit more for something that will last a

lot longer

bull Ask yourself if you can live without the

item Remember the old adage ldquoFix it up

wear it out make it do or do withoutrdquo

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 11

T H E B O O K O F M O R M O N

CONCERT

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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SOME FINAL TIPS

Just to finish here are some general

money-related guidelines to keep in mind

bull Keep track of your money and keep it in

a safe place

bull You canrsquot buy happiness but being will-

ing to share usually results in a smile

bull Avoid gambling of any kind

bull Be cautious of things that seem too good

to be truemdashthey usually are

The most important lesson about money

however is to keep in mind that wersquore not

here on earth to get rich or to have a lot of

fancy things Remember these truths from

the Doctrine and Covenants ldquoSeek not for

riches but for wisdom and behold the mys-

teries of God shall be unfolded unto you

and then shall you be made rich Behold he

that hath eternal life is richrdquo (DampC 67) NE

Arianne Cope lives in Utah USA

THE FUN STUFF

Herersquos a little-known fact a half-gallon

of ice cream from the grocery store tastes

almost as good as ice cream from an ice-cream shop Also a fact you can often buy

a half-gallon of ice cream for the same price

yoursquod pay for a single serving at an ice-

cream shop So if you need to save some

money suggest that your friends all split a

half-gallon from the store rather than spend-

ing a lot more at the ice-cream shop

And thatrsquos just one example of simple

money solutions You can be frugal in lots of

ways while still having a great time

bull Watch the newspaper or look online to

find free community or local events

bull If you want to see a movie go to a mati-

nee or a dollar theater for cheaper tickets

bull Plan ahead Make a list of ideas of free

things to do with your friends so you

wonrsquot rely on spending money to enter-

tain yourselves

bull Have fun outdoors without paying much

(if anything) Enjoy a campfire in the

canyon or on the beach or a free Frisbee

game at the parkmdashthey can be just

as much fun as going to a movie or a

concert

12 N e w E r a

FACT YOU CAN OFTEN BUY A HALF-GALLON OF

ICE CREAM FOR THE SAME PRICE YOUrsquoD PAY FOR A

SINGLE SERVING AT AN ICE-CREAM SHOP

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 13

3 Nephi 1815 20ndash21Jesus Christ taught the Nephites the importance of prayer

Editorrsquos note This page is not meant to be a com-

prehensive explanation of the selected seminary

scripture mastery verses only a starting point for

your own study

983148983141983155983156 983161983141 983138983141 983156983141983149983152983156983141983140

This is one of many scriptures

that teach how praying can help

us escape Satanrsquos temptations (see

also DampC 105 3112 and 6139)

Here are some other blessings thescriptures promise when you obey

the command to pray always What

blessings have you received

bull You will be worthy to stand in the

presence of God (see Luke 2136)

bull The Lord will consecrate your

efforts (see 2 Nephi 329)

bull The Spirit will be poured upon

you (see DampC 1938)

bull You will be given strength toendure (see DampC 88126)

bull Things will work out for your

good (see DampC 9024)

983152983154983137983161 983137983148983159983137983161983155

ldquoWe should be alone

with our Heavenly

Father at least two

or three times each

daymdashlsquomorning mid-day and eve-ningrsquo as the scripture indicates (Alma

3421) In addition we are told to

pray always (See 2 Ne 329 DampC

88126) This means that our hearts

should be full drawn out in prayer

unto our Heavenly Father continually

(See Alma 3427)rdquo

President Ezra Taft Benson (1899ndash1994) ldquoPray

Alwaysrdquo Ensign Feb 1990 2

L I N E U P O N L I N E

983159983144983137983156983155983151983141983158983141983154 983161983141 983155983144983137983148983148 983137983155983147

In the scriptures the Lord repeatedly

promises to answer our prayers if we

will but ask What can you learn from

these scriptures about how to ask and

receive answers What other scriptures

can you find that teach about this

bull James 15ndash6

bull 1 Nephi 1511

bull Enos 12ndash15

bull Mormon 921

bull DampC 810

bull DampC 4630ndash32

983159983144983145983139983144 983145983155 983154983145983143983144983156

ldquoHere the Savior

reminds us that faith

no matter how strong

it is cannot produce

a result contrary to the will of him

whose power it is The exercise of

faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is always

subject to the order of heaven to

the goodness and will and wisdom

and timing of the Lord That is why we cannot have true faith in the

Lord without also having complete

trust in the Lordrsquos will and in the

Lordrsquos timingrdquo

Elder Dallin H Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles ldquo lsquoFaith in the Lord Jesus Christrsquo rdquo

Ensign May 1994 100

983137983148983159983137983161983155 983145983150 983149983161 983150983137983149983141

Praying in Christrsquos name means

more than just ending our prayers

in the name of Jesus Christ The

Bible Dictionary teaches ldquoWe pray

in Christrsquos name when our mind isthe mind of Christ and our wishes

the wishes of Christmdashwhen His

words abide in us (John 157) We

then ask for things it is possible for

God to grant Many prayers remain

unanswered because they are not

in Christrsquos name at all they in no

way represent His mind but spring

out of the selfishness of manrsquos

heartrdquo (ldquoPrayerrdquo)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 1652

By ElderJoseacute L Alonso

Of the Seventy

LINKED PRAYERS COUNSELING WITH THE LORD

ldquoThere may be things in our character in our behavior or concerningour spiritual growth about which we need to counsel with HeavenlyFather in morning prayer After expressing appropriate thanks for

blessings received we plead for understanding direction and helpto do the things we cannot do in our own strength alone

ldquoAt the end of our day we kneel again and report back to our Father We reviewthe events of the day and express heartfelt thanks for the blessings and the helpwe received We repent and with the assistance of the Spirit of the Lord identifyways we can do and become better tomorrow Thus our evening prayer buildsupon and is a continuation of our morning prayer And our evening prayer also is apreparation for meaningful morning prayerrdquo

Elder David A Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles ldquoPray Alwaysrdquo Ensign Nov 2008 41ndash42

14 N e w E r a

When I was 15 I went

to live with my father

while I finished high

school He lived and

worked in another city and had joined

the Church I didnrsquot know he was

a member but I saw that he acted

differently He acted with love and

kindness and was interested in myconcerns and needs

The first night I arrived I was

so hungry We sat down for dinner

and I started to eat but my father

said ldquoWait a minute We need to

prayrdquo I said ldquoWe need to what rdquo I

didnrsquot even know what the word

pray meant My father explained

that he was going to thank God our

Heavenly Father for the food we

had received from Him and then

we could eat My father prayed

and in his prayer he mentioned myname and asked for God to bless

me I felt something wonderful That

was the first time I felt the Spirit so

strongly in my life

My father taught me to pray to

Heavenly Father on my own Later

when the missionaries taught me

about Joseph Smithrsquos prayer I imme-

diately felt that it was possible for the

Lord to answer the prayer of a young

man The missionaries asked me to

read the Book of Mormon and to pray

to know if Jesus is the Christ if JosephSmith was a prophet and if the Book

of Mormon is true

That night I read the story in

3 Nephi 11 of when Jesus visits the

Nephites I was in a private place

so I got down on my knees and I

prayed Even though I was only 15 I

had faith that the Lord would answer

my prayer I received an impression

in my mind as clear as anything Ihad ever seen that Jesus is the Christ

Joseph Smith was a prophet and

the Book of Mormon is true I felt

like Joseph Smith after that prayer

I was so happy to truly know that

Heavenly Father answers prayers

from young people

Irsquod Never PRAYED BEFORE

i983150 Th983137t W983137y

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 1752

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 15

WHAT KEPT ME STRONG

D983137ily P983137yer

As a teenager in an area with-

out a lot of Church members

I found that daily prayer was one

of the most important things that

helped me stay spiritually strong

I made sure to pray every day and

developed a pattern that helped

memdashmorning and evening prayers

When I heard

my father prayfor the rst timel felt something

wonderful

MORNING PRAYERS

Every morning I would share with

the Lord

bull My plans for the day

bull What I wanted to do

bull What I thought the Lord

wanted me to do

I would present my plans to

God and then ask for the Lordrsquos

help in accomplishing them

EVENING PRAYERS

Every evening I would

bull Report on how my day went

and if I had accomplished the

things I had set out to do

bull Share things that had been

difficult for me

bull Share things that I had learned

from people or through the

Spirit that dayThe more I prayed the more

I learned to understand and

receive impressions from the

Holy Ghost These impressions

helped me gain more strength

to follow the direction of the

Lord NE

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 1852

16 N e w E r a

With canteen in hand I was prepared for my

second 50-mile hike and campout in the

Uinta Mountains I was about as well pre-

pared as a 14-year-old could be My equip-

ment was all set to go my boots were sturdy and my pack

was full of all the essentials

The day of the hike arrived and our

leaders reminded our group of young men

that the mountains could be very danger-

ous Hikers and campers were often lost

in the rugged hills and on the numerous

trails We were warned not to wander

away from the path Our leadersmdashmy

father includedmdashall seemed concerned

for our safety and were anxious to keep

us from straying off of our chosen pathBeing one of the stronger hikers and

a leader in the group I soon found myself

and three other boys leading the way

Sometimes we waited for our group at the

forks in the trail to make sure we followed

the correct path and would not become lost

We hiked for hours laughing and joking all the way We

were having a great time Suddenly we heard frantic calls

and the sounds of running We knew something must have

gone wrong We wondered if maybe some of the grouphad become lost I was concerned for the friends Irsquod left

behind with the leaders Something bad must have happened

We stopped to listen so we could hear what the distant

voices were yelling We heard our names More specifically

I heard my name being called I recognized my fatherrsquos

voice We called back and heard their heavy footsteps coming

in our direction

Something bad had happened We learned that

four of the boys in our group had strayed from

the correct path and had become lost It was us

We were the ones who were lost My father was

thankful to have finally found us and together we

began the hike back to the correct trail

In my head I retraced my footsteps I couldnrsquot

figure out how Irsquod become lost I felt like I was

still on the original path Irsquod been so sure We

retraced our steps and my father showed us aturn we had missed It was just a small path with

a little hidden sign marking the correct way

We had hiked two miles off the right trail

We were thankful wersquod been found

before dark For the rest of the hike

we stayed close to our leaders and the rest of the

group and were never in danger again

Sometimes our overconfidence as youth

gives us an unrealistic sense of independence

We push on without consulting our parentsor leaders We fail to ask for advice We feel

By Duncan Anderson

Mile Hike

The

We stoppedto listen so we

could hear whatthe distant voices

were yellingWe heard ournames We

called back andheard their heavyfootsteps comingin our direction

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 1952

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 17

certain wersquore headed in a direction leading to the right

destination We laugh and joke and enjoy the path until itrsquos

too late too dark and wersquore lost

When it comes to choosing the right trails in life our

Heavenly Father has provided tools to guide us and keep us

on the path that leads to Him We have the scriptures prayer

and revelation our parents guidelines like For the Strength

of Youth and our Church leaders to guide us through the

countless options life offers

When we do stray off the path itrsquos often our loving parents

and dedicated leaders who come to the rescue They can

guide us back to the correct way and show us where we

went wrong Through repentance we can correct those

wrongs and start fresh on the right path headed toward the

destination that will give us eternal happiness and a life in the

presence of our Heavenly Father NE

Duncan Anderson lives in Utah USA

CHOOSING RIGHT PATHS

ldquoI plead with you to make a determi-nation right here right now notto deviate from the path which willlead to our goal eternal life with ourFather in Heaven Along that straight

and true path there are other goals missionaryservice temple marriage Church activity scripturestudy prayer temple work There are countless wor-thy goals to reach as we travel through life Neededis our commitment to reach themrdquo

President Thomas S Monson ldquoThe Three Rs of Choicerdquo

Ensign Nov 2010 68

NEED ADVICE

Is there anything yoursquod like advice on Donrsquot be afraid to ask your

parents or Church leaders Remember they are there to help you

no matter what yoursquod like to talk about

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2052

One of the things we agree

to do as part of the bap-

tismal covenant is ldquoto

stand as witnesses of

God at all times and in all things and in

all places that [we] may be inrdquo (Mosiah

189) And incidentally we renew this

covenant every week when we partake

of the sacramentIn the April 2014 general conference

several speakers reminded us that there

will be times when standing as a witness

of God will mean having to face oppo-

sition criticism and ridicule So what

should you do when yoursquore required

to take the uncomfortable uncool or

unpopular step of defending your beliefs

By David A Edwards

Church Magazines

Be brave and humble firm and gentle

all at the same time With the Lordrsquos

help itrsquos not as hard as it sounds

18 N e w E r a

of Defe983150di983150983143Your Beliefs

Dorsquos 983137983150d

Donrsquots

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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you should rely on the Spiritto guide your defense of your

faith Bear testimony by the

Spirit Thatrsquos the Lordrsquos way

(See also DampC 1005ndash8)

The point here is not that

you should avoid any discus-

sion in which people have dif-

fering points of view Rather it

has to do with your intent as

well as the emotions involved

We should seek understand-

ing and try to persuade withmeekess not just score points

and prove wersquore right and

someone else is wrong A

discussion where people are

getting really worked up and

angry is one you should either

try to soften or simply avoid

Heavenly Father has given

you the gift of the Holy Ghost

and you should take advan-

tage of this gift This doesnrsquot

mean reason and logic canrsquot

be inspired or confirmed by

the Spirit it just means that

Elder W Craig Zwick of

the Seventy has explained

this scripture this way ldquoA lsquosoft

answerrsquo consists of a reasoned

responsemdashdisciplined words

from a humble heart It does

not mean we never speak

directly or that we compro-

mise doctrinal truth Words

that may be firm in infor-

mation can be soft in spiritrdquo

(ldquoWhat Are You Thinkingrdquo

Ensign May 2014 42)

ldquoA SOFT ANSWER TURNETH AWAY

wr983137thBUT

GRIEVOUS WORDS stir u983152 983137983150983143errdquo

(Proverbs 151)

ldquoBeholdI send you forthas sheep in the

midst of wolves be ye therefore wise as serpents

and h983137r983149less as dovesrdquo

(Matthew 1016)

The Savior doesnrsquot want

you to be ignorant or naiumlve

but He also doesnrsquot want you

to attack anyone Knowing

what goes on in the world

doesnrsquot mean we have to

use its tactics

ldquoCONTEND AGAINST

NO CHURCHrdquo (DampC 1820)

There is no need to

criticize other churches

Positive statements of your

beliefs rather than negative

statements about others will

be most effective As the

Prophet Joseph Smith said

ldquoWe donrsquot ask any people

to throw away any good

they have got we only ask

them to come and get morerdquo

(Teachings of Presidents

of the Church Joseph

Smith [2007] 155)

ldquoAND THOUSHALT DECLARE

983143l983137d tidi983150983143s ldquoAND THOU SHALTDO IT WITH 983137ll hu983149ilityTRUSTING IN ME 983154evili983150983143 983150ot

AGAINST REVILERSrdquo

(DampC 1929ndash30)

The tidings you declare

are glad Remember that

and make sure your face and

your voice show it too Also

the word revile here means

to hurl abusive or insulting

language at a person So if

ldquoFOR I AM

NOT ASHAMED

OF THE GOSPEL OF CHRISTrdquo

(Romans 116)

As President Thomas S

Monson has said ldquoWe will all

face fear experience ridiculeand meet opposition Let

usmdashall of usmdashhave the courage

to defy the consensus the

courage to stand for prin-

ciple Courage not com-

promise brings the smile of

Godrsquos approvalrdquo (ldquoBe Strong

and of a Good Couragerdquo

Ensign May 2014 69)

The scriptures give you some basic principles for standing up for your faith including the following

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 19

ldquoWe s983152e983137k

NOT IN THE WORDS which 983149983137983150rsquos

WISDOM TEACH ETH

but which THE HOLY GHOST

TEACHETHrdquo

(1 Corinthians 213)

ldquoHE THATHATH THE

SPIRIT OF CONTENTIONIS NOT OF ME

BUT ISOF THE DEVIL

WHO IS THE FATHER OFCONTENTION AND

HE STIRRETH UPTHE HEARTS

OF MEN

TO CONTEND WITH ANGER

ONE WITH ANOTHERrdquo(3 Nephi 1129)

HERErsquoS SOME ADVICE FROM THE SCRIPTURES

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2252

How Do You Defend Do you have experi-ence in defending yourbeliefs Or do you haveideas to add to theselists Go to ldsorggodefendNE8 and share

Finding Courage

Read more on this topic atldsorggocourageNE8

someonersquos doing that to you

donrsquot retaliate and do the

same thing back to them The

Apostle Peter taught that the

Savior Himself gave the exam-

ple you should follow in thisregard (see 1 Peter 223)

ldquoLOVE YOUR ENEMIESbless them

that curse you

DO GOOD TO T HEMTHAT HATE YOU

and pray for

them which

DESPITEFULLY USE YOUAND PERSECUTE YOUrdquo

(Matthew 544)ldquoSEE THAT YE ARE NOT lifted u983152 u983150to

983152ride ye983137 SEE THAT YE DO

NOT BOAST IN YOUR

OWN WISDOM

983150or of your 983149uch stre983150983143thldquoUSE BOLDNESS

BUT NOT

OVERBEARANCErdquo (Alma 3811ndash12)

Here the word tenets

refers to opinions or teachings

that go beyond the basics So

the Lord is saying to stick to

the basic message of the gos-

pel when yoursquore declaring Hisglad tidings This also applies

to defending your faith

You donrsquot need to stray into

detailed discussions about

every little thing related to the

Church As Elder Richard G

Scott of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles has said

ldquoKeep your sharing of the

gospel simple rdquo (ldquo lsquoI HaveGiven You an Examplerdquo

Ensign May 2014 34)

ldquoEveryone independent

of his or her decisions and

beliefs deserves our kind-

ness and considerationrdquo said

Elder Neil L Andersen of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles ldquoThe Savior

taught us to love not only

our friends but also those

who disagree with usmdashand

even those who repudiate

usrdquo (ldquoSpiritual Whirlwindsrdquo

Ensign May 2014 20)

Again be humble Itrsquos not

about you or how smart and

capable you are Also you can

be bold without making over-

blown statements or being

a verbal or intellectual bully

As Elder Jeffrey R Holland

of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoYou willone day find yourself called

upon to defend your faith

Such moments will require

both courage and courtesy

on your partrdquo (ldquoThe Costmdashand

Blessingsmdashof Discipleshiprdquo

Ensign May 2014 6)

ldquoA983150d of te983150ets thou sh983137lt 983150ot t983137lk but thou shalt

declare repentance andfaith on the Savior and 983154e983149issio983150 of si983150sby baptism and by fire

yea even the Holy Ghostrdquo(DampC 1931)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2352

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2452

22 N e w E r a

I received my first two-wheel bicycle

when I was eight years old With

the help of my older brother and

father I began the rather scary pro-

cess of figuring out how to ride it The other kids in the neighborhood

made it look so easy and natural as

they zoomed up and down the street

on their bikes I perched on the bike

seatmdashwhich seemed to be at least

10 feet (3 m) above the groundmdashand

realized there was absolutely noth-

ing to keep me from falling over and

proving that the law of gravity was

alive and well As I tried riding I learned quickly

that if I wanted to stay balanced I had

to keep pedaling When I first sat on

the seat speed was the last thing I

wanted to add to the already daunting

equation But I very soon understood

the wisdom and the physics involved

in moving forward As long as I kept

pedaling I could stay upright and

avoid the rough concrete just waiting

to take the skin off my arms and legs

Soon I was zipping around the neigh-

borhood with my friends

Defy Gr983137vity Defy Gr983137vity

of the First Presidency as outlined

in that booklet our lives will be bal-

anced and steady We will be led

where we want to go

We need to keep moving forwardto avoid falling To do that we should

consistently and faithfully do certain

actions

bull Pray morning and night

bull Study the scriptures daily

bull Attend Church meetings and par-

take of the sacrament worthily

bull Serve those around us

bull Be worthy to attend the temple

All of these actions keep us moving

forward in the right direction

Thatrsquos why reading and being famil-

iar with the standards described in For

the Strength of Youth will help ensure

we are making choices consistent with

Godrsquos standards Living these princi-

ples and keeping the commandments

F O R T H E S T R E N G T H O F Y O U T H

By Bonnie LOscarson

Young WomenGeneral President

As you keep moving forward you can stay upright even

when outside forces try to pull you down

Just as those who keep

pedaling a bike can stay

upright despite gravityrsquos

influence those who are

guided by the Holy Spirit in

all they do can withstand

the influence of theadversary

So it is with living the gospel and

the standards in For the Strength of

Youth It takes faith to believe that if

we consistently follow the counsel

GO FORWARD WITH FAITH

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 23

invite the Holy Ghost to be our con-

stant companion Just as those who

keep pedaling a bike can stay upright

despite gravityrsquos influence those who

are guided by the Holy Spirit in allthey do can withstand the influence of

the adversary

What are the destinations you have

in mind as you pedal forward For all

young men of the Aaronic Priesthood

preparing now for a full-time mission

is important in forward growth For

all youth being prepared to go to the

temple and receive the endowment by

making and keeping sacred covenantsshould also be a primary goal

As the message from the First

Presidency at the beginning of For the

Strength of Youth says ldquoIn all that you

do stay focused on the temple In the

temple you will receive the greatest

of all the Lordrsquos blessings including

marriage for time and all eternityrdquo1

Receiving the covenant of eternal

marriage in the house of the Lord and

becoming righteous husbands wives

fathers and mothers may seem far

down the road but the time to beginpreparing is now All of these things

lead to the most glorious and grand

destination of allmdasheternal life with

our Heavenly Father

One of my favorite scriptures

sums up what we need to do in order

to keep moving toward our goals

ldquoWherefore ye must press forward

with a steadfastness in Christ hav-

ing a perfect brightness of hopeand a love of God and of all men

Wherefore if ye shall press forward

feasting upon the word of Christ and

endure to the end behold thus saith

the Father Ye shall have eternal liferdquo

(2 Nephi 3120)

Just as I learned as an eight-year-

old girl that I needed to keep pedaling

and moving forward in order to defy

gravity and keep my balance on my

bicycle it is important for all of us to

keep moving forward with faith trust-

ing in the counsel of living prophetsand a loving Heavenly Father to keep

us from falling Some of our destina-

tions are just down the road while

others will take a lifetime of faithful

living to achieve The promises of

what lies at the end of the road if we

are faithful are certain and glorious

and well worth the ride NE

NOTE

1 For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

Learn MoreSee whatrsquos next in your covenant path

at ldsorggocovenantNE8

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2652

24 N e w E r a

BOA R D

GA M E S

B y Da vid Chris tensen

My chance to play le f t

a lasting impact but it

wasnrsquot what Irsquod e xpected

L o s i n

g s o

q u i c k

l y w

a s b

a d e

n o u

g h

b

u t t o

m a k

e m

a t t e r s

w o r s e

t h

e o t h

e r g

u y

s s t a r t e

d t o

m a k

e

f u n

o f

m e

I

t r i e d

t o c o

n t i n

u e

p l a y i n g

e v e

n t h

o u

g h

t h e y

w e r

e b

e i n

g m

e a n

b

u t i t

w a s h

a r d t o h o

l d b

a c k m y t e

a r s

o f f r u s t

r a t i o n

U

n f o

r t u n a t e l y

o n e t e

a r t r i c k l e

d d

o w

n m y

c h e e

k b

e f o

r e I

c o u

l d w i p

e i t

a w a y M

y b

r o t h

e r

s a w i t

a n d

t e a s e

d m

e t o

o

I c o

u l d

n rsquo t

t a k e i t

a n y

m o r e

a n d

r a n t o

m y

r o o m

I g a v e m y s e l

f a q u i c k p i n

c h

t o m a k e s u r

e I w a s n rsquo

t d r e a m i n g

a n d t h e

n I v o i c e d

a t i m i d ldquo Y e

a h

s u r e rdquo I s t

i l l c o u l d

n rsquo t b e l i e

v e t h a t

m y b r o t h e

r h a d i n v

i t e d m e t o

p l a y a g a m e w i t h

t h e ldquo b i g k i

d s rdquo

A f t e r a l l

I rsquo d b e e n t o l d f o r t h

r e e

y e a r s t h a

t I w a s s t i l l

t o o y o u

n g

t o p l a y m o r e d i f fi

c u l t b o a

r d

g a m e s w i t h m y b r o

t h e r a n d

h i s f r i e n d s

A N D B R O

T H

E R S

I

felt the hot tears of anger slowly slide

down my face I wiped them away with

my hand but I could still feel the

slightly salty taste on my lips assobs of anguish began to pour out

I just wanted to hang out with my

brother Why couldnrsquot he be my

friend too

J u s t a f e w

h o u r s

b e f o

r e I h a d

s t a r e d a t

m y o

l d e r b

r o t h

e r S t e v e

i n c o

m p

l e t e s u r p

r i s e

w a i t i n

g f o r h

i m t o

t e

l l

m e t h

a t h e w

a s o n

l y

j o k i n g ldquo W

e l l d o y o

u

w a n

t t o p

l a y rdquo S t e v e

a s k e d i m p

a

t i e n t l y

I w

e n t i n t o t h e

r o o m w h

e r e t h e

o l d e r b o y s

w e r e

s e t t i n g u p

t h e b o a r d

g a m e A s t h e

g a m e s t a r t e d

w i t h

e v e r y o n e s t r a t e g i c a l l y

p l a c i n g

t h e i r g a m

e

p i e c e s

I f e l t l i k e

I w

a s d r e a

m i n g F o r

t h e fi r s t t i m

e

I f e l t e q u a l t o

m y b r o t h e r mdash

n o t l i k e I

w a s j u s t h i s

t a g a l o n g

T h e d r e a m

e n d e d q u i c k

l y h o w e v e r

T h e

g a m e w

a s t o u g h

a n d m y i n

e x p e r i e n c e

a n d l a c k

o f k n o w l e d g e

b e c

a m e

p a i n f u l l y o b v i o u s

a s t h e o t

h e r

p l a y e r s q u i c k l y

a n d

s o u n d l y d e f e a t e d

m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2752

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2852

26 N e w E r a

Le983137r983150i983150983143 the i983150s 983137983150d outs of d983137ti983150983143 c983137983150 be h983137rd Let this course tur983150 you

i983150to 983137 d983137ti983150983143 983152ro

By Matthew ORichardson

Served as Second

Counselor in theSunday SchoolGeneral Presidencyfrom 2009 to 2014

hile speaking to youth about how to prepare for a celestial marriage

President Thomas S Monson emphasized that ldquoproper dating is a part

of preparation for marriagerdquo 1 Have you thought much about happy

relationships Elder Russell M Nelson of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said a ldquocelestial marriage brings greater possibilities for happiness than

does any other relationshiprdquo2

When I was serving as bishop in a young single adult ward I worried about those

who approached dating with very little purpose understanding or direction This

caused me to wonder if my own children would be any different when their time came

My wife and I decided to help our children prepare for ldquoproper datingrdquo and happy rela-tionships by creating the Richardson Dating Academy or RDA as our children call it

It wasnrsquot long after we started the RDA that friends of our children wanted to partici-

pate and even become RDA graduates So how about you Are you ready to become a

dating academy graduate yourself Class is in session

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 27

Lesso983150 1 ur983152oses 983137983150d St983137983150d983137rds of D983137ti983150983143

Lesso983150 2 W983137tch 983137983150d Le983137r983150

Homework

As you know ldquodatingrdquo means different things to differ-

ent people Your first assignment is to figure out just what

a ldquodaterdquo is according to Church standards Can you explain

the purposes of dating and the specific dating standards and

guidelines set by the Church Or do you know when itrsquosmost appropriate to be involved in dating and steady dating

(having a boyfriend or girlfriend)

You can find answers to these questions in the ldquoDatingrdquo

section of For the Strength of Youth The First Presidency

reminds us why knowing and understanding these stan-

dards are so important They promise ldquoThe standards in this

Elder Jeffrey R Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles once explained that most athletic contests have ldquolines

drawn on the floor or the field within which every participant

must stay in order to competerdquo3 Success depends on how

well a competitor knows and stays within the set boundaries

Likewise itrsquos important to know the ldquodating linesrdquo or the pur-

poses and standards of dating as taught by Church leaders

One of the most com-

mon ways people learn

is by watching others

Dating is no different

In the dating academy

we spend time observ-

ing others in dating

situations In our family

we learned many point-ersmdashsome to do others

to avoidmdashby watching

dates in progress at

restaurants and other

settings Yes we went to

certain places with the

sole purpose to observe

dates for ldquoclassrdquo

booklet will help you with the important choices you are

making now and will yet make in the futurerdquo4

Now that you have a solid foundation of the stan-

dards and purposes of dating (you did do your home-

work and read that section didnrsquot you) itrsquos time to move

on to lesson 2

Tips

Here are some suggestions that will help you learn

as you observe

bull Watch but donrsquot be creepy This is about learning from

others but not stalking staring or even judging Look for

things you like and things you would like to avoid

bull Go to a variety of places and settings to observe others

Not every date is the same nor should it be Watch how thesetting affects the experience

bull Watch how people interact with each other Can you tell

who is with whom Are they paying attention to each

other In what ways Are they talking with each other Do

they look like they enjoy being with each other How can

you tell if they are having fun

bull Talk with a parent leader or good friends and share what

you noticed and what you learned

Homework

The next time you go

out to eat attend a movie

or go to almost any activ-

ity make an effort to look

around and see how other

people are interacting It

may surprise you to see

how much dating is actu-ally going on Take the

time to learn from those

around you by paying

attention to whatrsquos work-

ing and what isnrsquot

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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28 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 3 l983137983150983150i983150983143 983137 D983137te

Tips

bull Start planning early

bull Donrsquot be afraid to bounce ideas off your friendsparents and others They can provide excellent

suggestions that you havenrsquot even thought about

bull Make sure you let your budget amount of time

available the reasons for dating and Church stan-

dards guide your planning

bull Think of what you hope will happen during the

date from beginning to end This helps you realize

what needs to be done to make the date a success

bull Pay attention to details Call ahead for event times

prices menus and what the proper dress is for

the occasion

bull Plan for emergencies For example what will you

do if you donrsquot have enough money or have car

trouble What if your date gets sick

Homework

Rather than leaving everything to chance dating acad-

emy grads understand what needs to happen and theyplan accordingly

Your homework assignment even if yoursquore years away

from dating is to practice planning an event You can

brainstorm with friends really fun ideas for a date Then

work together to think of what planning is required to

make those ideas actually happen Or you can ask your

parents to let you plan the next family outing

You might choose a place to eat or what to do Plan all

the details (event times travel time cost backup plans)

and then put your plan into action You could evencome up with a dating plan complete with backup ideas

if something goes wrong and share it in family home

evening while talking together around the dinner table

or with friends You may find that properly planning an

activity is almost as much fun as the actual date

The quality of experience yoursquoll have with others is

often determined by what happens before a date begins

Showing up on your datersquos doorstep with no plan is a

recipe for an awkward experience Nobody likes playing

the ldquoWhat do you want to dordquo game

Yoursquore better than that With a little practice you can

become a date-planning champion And young women

no fair skipping this section While most of the time young

men plan and ask for dates yoursquoll still want to have these

skills down for when itrsquos your turn

Group Date IdeasNeed ideas Check out ldsorggoideasNE8 Some

of the youth activities there could be adapted for dates

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Homework

In the Richardson Dating Academy all of our

children practiced dating invitations For example

our children might call an aunt older sibling or other

family member to practice inviting someone on a

date Or our son or daughter would receive an invita-

tion from a family member and practice responding

They learned how to deal with rejection acceptance

or even a disinterested response or two

Now itrsquos your turn Working with your parents ask

them to line up somebody in your family you can call

and practice inviting on a date Make sure you do this

more than once

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 29

You know your dating standards front and back

yoursquove watched others in dating situations and

yoursquove come up with a solid date plan

Congratulations Now you still need to invite

someone Or you need to know how to respond

when you are invited So whatrsquos the best way A

phone call Ask in person Here are some different

points to consider

Lesso983150 4 I983150viti983150983143 Others 983137983150d Bei983150983143 I983150vited

Tips

bull Be ready to give details when you invite

someone on a date Talk about what you have

planned start and end times whorsquos participat-ing and how they should dress (casual dressy

etc) Your excellent planning from academy

lesson 3 makes this part of the academy easy

bull Therersquos a time to talk by phone and a time to

ask face-to-face The more important the event

is the more personal the invitation should be

Donrsquot be afraid to skip technology and actually

talk with someone

bull Some events may require you to speak with

your datersquos parents first This shows respectand courtesy

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30 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 5 O983150 the D983137te

It would be impossible for any dating academy to cover

every little thing to consider or plan for in dating So much

depends on good judgment communication with your par-

ents and listening to the Spirit

Still here are a few key points you might want to brush

up on before putting your date plan into action

Tips

bull Develop a ldquoyou firstrdquo attitude This means you always

think of your date first Is he or she having fun Is he or

she comfortable

bull Make sure you dress appropriately for the occasion

The way you dress usually communicates how you feelabout others and about the event Know the difference

between casual (but never sloppy) semiformal and

formal and when it would be appropriate to dress in

those ways

bull Show common courtesy by opening doors saying

thank you talking less about yourself and more about

your date and extending sincere compliments

bull Learn how to navigate restaurants Know how to make

a reservation get a table calculate a service tip and

pay the bill

Homework

Once again the best way to learn any good skill is by practic-

ing it Our youth enjoyed role-playing different situations

to think about how to act most appropriately We

also loved going out to eat as part of the dating acad-

emy experience Our children learned how to act in

a restaurant order a meal calculate the tip and paythe bill by actually doing it when they were with us

Look for opportunities to practice skills you should use on a

date For example the next time you and your family go some-

where ask your parents to let you purchase the tickets order

the meal or calculate the tip Treat your family or friends with

the same respect and courtesy that you should show others on a

date Open doors for your family be the first to say ldquothank yourdquo

and pay attention so you are part of the conversation

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 31

Lesso983150 6 The Doorste983152

NOTES

1 Thomas S Monson ldquoPreparation BringsBlessingsrdquo Ensign May 2010 64

2 Russell M Nelson ldquoCelestial Marriagerdquo Ensign Nov 2008 93

3 Jeffrey R Holland ldquoWe Are All Enlistedrdquo Ensign Nov 2011 45

4 ldquoMessage to the Youth from The First Presi-dencyrdquo For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

5 John Bytheway ldquoWhat Do Kisses Meanrdquo New Era Oct 2004 38ndash41

Last but not least dating

academy graduates know how

to conclude a date on the right

note Nothing sours a great date

more than a bad ending

Herersquos how you can finish a

date with success

Tips

bull Express gratitude Be sincere

and to the point If there was something you especially

liked tell your date what

it was

bull Therersquos no reason for drag-

ging things on at this point

Yoursquove already spent plenty

of time together Avoid the

ldquodoorstep shufflerdquo When

people arenrsquot sure what to

say they tend to shuffle backand forth or move their feet

in place If you find yourself

ldquoshufflingrdquo in place itrsquos a

pretty good signal that you

need to say good-bye

bull Know and follow the

Churchrsquos counsel on kissing

and physical intimacy (You

might also want to read John

Bythewayrsquos article ldquoWhat Do

Kisses Meanrdquo5 at ldsorggo

kissesNE8)

Homework

Yes herersquos another opportunity for practicing Our family has spent several family

home evenings role-playing doorstep good-byes Itrsquos been both helpful and fun to

watch an older sibling coach the younger sibling with dorsquos and donrsquots

Most memorable was an older sister showing how she could turn a hug into a

handshake with the grace of a princess and the speed of a ninja You too can get

together with family members and role-play different scenarios that might happen on

a doorstep We guarantee itrsquoll be an academy night yoursquoll all remember

Gr983137du983137tio983150

If yoursquove studied all the

material worked on the tips done

the homework and talked through

the lessons with your parents and

family you too can become a

dating academy graduate

As you continue strengthening

these important skills yoursquoll find

support strength and power that

will bless your relationships both

now and in the future You will be

better prepared for happiness NE

Do Try This at HomeInterested in having a dating academy at

home Let your parents know therersquos an RDAarticle for them in this monthrsquos Ensign or atldsorggoRDA

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32 N e w E r a

S U N DA Y L E S S

O N S

This Monthrsquos Topic

Ma r r iage a nd

Fa m i l y

MARRIAGE IS WORTH ITldquoIt is so rewarding to bemarried Marriage is wonder-ful In time you begin to thinkalike and have the same ideasand impressions You havetimes when you are extremelyhappy times of testing andtimes of trial but the Lordguides you through all ofthose growth experiencestogetherrdquo

Elder Richard G Scott of the

Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo

Ensign May 2011 96

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 33

We love being marr ied and he

rersquos why

By Ben and Rachel Nielsen

Letrsquos face it girls (and boys) itrsquos nice to know that someone loves you

And when yoursquore married you have chances to share and receive love every

day When I was talking to my parents about the possibility of marrying

Ben my dad said ldquoWhomever you choose to marry I want him to fre-

quently and sincerely express his love for you like Elder Richard G Scott did

for his wiferdquo3 I listened to Dad

I decided to marry Ben and he has always made an effort to express

his love to me in small and big ways During my senior year of college I

worked for months to prepare apply and interview for a prestigious intern-ship And when I finally heard that I got the job I came home and saw a

vase full of flowers from my husband He knew how hard I had worked and

how much the internship meant to me At other times hersquoll hide my favorite

drink and a love note in the fridge before he heads out for a weekend Scout

camp And every day hersquoll do the dishes and make me laugh Ben is great at

expressing his love for me and that brings both of us great joy

During my mission in Brazil I grew to love soccer One thing that I lovemost about this sport is having teammates and learning how to work together

with my team Rachel is a fantastic teammate She helps me achieve my

goals joins me in making important decisions and is there for me when I

have trouble

When we were sealed in the temple we promised to ldquohelp one another as

equal partnersrdquo2 Rachel and I strive to support each other in everything we

do and itrsquos great to know that I always have a reliable teammate

After our first date we both

knew we wanted to go

on a second date Ben

wanted to go on

another date because Rachel was

friendly and fun to talk to Rachel

wanted to go on another date

because Ben was a gentleman

and was still smiling after all of

his well-laid plans fell through

After the second date plus manymore dates and prayers after

that we fell in love and decided

to get married in the Sacramento

California Temple

The wedding day was abso-

lutely perfect and we have loved

being married ever since The

world may see marriage differ-

ently but we know that ldquono other

relationship of any kind canbring as much joy generate as

much good or produce as much

personal refinementrdquo1 Marriage

is awesome and herersquos why

FROM BEN A T e a m m a t e

FROM RACHEL

E x p r e s s i o n s o f L o v e

WHY MARRIAGE IS

A w e s o m e

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34 N e w E r a

JOIN THE CONVERSATION

Things to Ponder for Sunday

bull What qualities and attitudes make for the strongest

and happiest marriages and families

bull What are you doing now that will help your future

marriage and family stay strong and happy

Things You Might Do

bull Share with some friends your goal of marrying and

having a family and tell them why

bull In church share why you are looking forward

to marriage and family and how you are pre-

paring for them

serving in the Church and inviting others to come unto

Christ As we work together to build the kingdom of God

we grow closer our love deepens and life is more fulfilling

Dating Rachel is so much fun In fact we make surethat we still frequently go on dates even as a married

couple After we first met we found that we enjoy many

of the same activities walking through parks attending

plays watching sporting events eating new and different

food listening to music and so much more I loved doing

these things before I met Rachel but theyrsquore even more

fun now that we get to share them together When yoursquore

married you have someone to enjoy life withmdashand that

makes life awesome

Before I met Ben I was nearing the age of missionary

service and had seriously considered serving a full-time

mission But then Ben entered my life and I knew that

Heavenly Father had a different plan for me

When Ben and I got engaged relatives who knew

about my thoughts to serve a mission asked me about my

choice and I would tell them ldquoI decided that I wanted topick my own missionary companionmdashand stay with him

for eternityrdquo

When yoursquore married you and your spouse have the

chance to participate in the work of salvation together

Ben and I have found great joy in building a Christ-

centered home studying and living the gospel together

Despite what the world may say marriage is awesome

and is worth making a priority When yoursquore married you

have a teammate you give and receive love you enjoy life

more fully and you have someone to build the kingdom

of God with All of that brings us great joy and because

we were sealed in the temple we can have this joy forever

If we keep our covenants we will be together for eternityand receive the crowning blessings of the priesthood We

ldquohave found in marriage the richest fulfillment of human

existencerdquo 4 NE

Ben and Rachel Nielsen live in Utah USA

NOTES

1 L Whitney Clayton ldquoMarriage Watch and Learnrdquo Ensign May 2013 83 2 ldquoThe Family A Proclamation to the Worldrdquo Ensign Nov 2010 129 3 See Richard G Scott ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo Ensign May

2011 96 4 James E Faust ldquoEnriching Your Marriagerdquo Ensign Apr 2007 6

FROM BEN M o r e E n jo y m e n t

FROM RACHEL A n E t e r n a l M is s i o n a r y C o m p a n io n

TAKE IT FROM US

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Your family can help unite the family of GodYou can all share the gospel in natural and pleasant ways

P H O T O I L L U S T R A T I O N B Y D A V I D S T O K E R

M O R M O N A D

(See M Russell Ballard ldquoPut Your Trust in the Lordrdquo Ensign Nov 2013 43)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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36 N e w E r a

By Alex Larsen

I always knew I wanted to be a mother but when I was grow-

ing up it wasnrsquot always on my mind When my fianceacute and I

were engaged one day I was talking with one of my college

professorsmdasha woman I greatly admiredmdashabout my engage-

ment She said something that brought my life choices into sharp

focus ldquoYou are wasting your talentrdquo she told me as she shook

her head She went on to say that someone as smart as I was

should not get married young She assumed I would have chil-

dren in my future and would be ldquothrowing awayrdquo my education

and chances of a stellar career on my future motherhood I could

tell by the way she looked at me that she thought I was making

a terrible and naiumlve mistake

Itrsquos been several years since that conversation and my hus-

band and I have two little girls Kate is three years old and is

my little sweetheart She moves through life at a leisurely pace

savoring all of the little details she notices Annabel is one yearold with bright blue eyes and a head of curls Shersquos exuberant

and determined Though I didnrsquot change my mind because of

what my professor said our discussion has stayed with me In

one way my professorrsquos predictions were correct I do not have

a prestigious working career But my professor got the most

important point wrong because I have wasted nothing

g i v i n

g u p e v e r y

t hi n g

but wh a t

I

g a i n ed

w as w o r t h so much m o r e

T h e wor l d t o l d me

I w ould

b e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 37

their spirits growing and developing I remember

the first time Kate pointed to a picture of the Savior and

said ldquoJesusrdquo I knew then that what I was doing was eter-

nally significant in the lives of my children

The world often tells us that lifersquos rewards come in

the form of status money or grand accomplishments

but I know therersquos great satisfaction even in the small

acts of changing diapers or wiping sticky fingers Every

little thing I do as a mother is part of helping to build the

kingdom of God by nurturing His children I always knew

I wanted children but it was not until I held my first baby

in my arms that I began to realize how much my heart

was capable of loving

The love I have for my daughters has helped me bet-

ter understand how much my Heavenly Father loves all

of His children When speaking of little children Jesustaught that ldquoof such is the kingdom of heavenrdquo (Matthew

1914) More than anything motherhood has helped me

to grow as a daughter of God because now I know what

a daughter of God looks like from the eyes of a parent

The world makes us think that a woman loses herself in

motherhoodmdashshe loses her body her free time and her

career But I have found myself in motherhood I feel

more beautiful and more valuable than ever before NE

Alex Larsen lives in California USA

I love the opportunity to stay home and care for my

young children because these are the most formative

years of their lives I have the opportunity to create a rich

home environment for my girls by reading and discussing

things with them as part of our everyday life Kate will

often astound me by remembering and commenting on

something wersquod read in a book several weeks before and

Annabel learns a new skill almost every day But as fun

and important as it is to watch them learn new

information and skills I feel the

most satisfied when I see

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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38 N e w E r a

One o f t h e g r e a t e s t ad v enture s o f y o u r l i f e w i l l b e y our rol e a n d c a l l i n g a s a f a t her

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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ROcksROcksROcks

NOTE

1 See Thomas S Monson ldquoWelcome to Conferencerdquo Ensign Nov 2012 4ndash5

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 39

DA D D A DD AD

By Chris Deaver

W

hen I was younger I loved spending time

with my dad He always knew the bestgames to play the best stories to tell at night

and the most interesting sports to try It was

like he was born to be a great dad

Fast-forward my life to when I married my sweetheart

Julia and then even further to the moment that our first

child Daniel was born I was filled with a rush of emo-

tions I was happy shocked amazed and a little scared

I felt totally inadequate to be a father and to have the

responsibility of teaching and being an example to my son

But I quickly realized that Irsquod been preparing all my life tobe a dad When I held my son in my arms for the first time

and looked down into his face I felt the Spirit touch my

heart and I realized that I was ready to try to be a great

dad just like my own dad was to me

When Daniel was very young he already had a great

sense of humor He learned to tell hilarious jokes that

would make my wife and me laugh He also often said

things that inspired us Shortly after hearing President

Thomas S Monson announce the change in age require-

ments for young men and young women preparingto serve missions1 we were driving in the car Daniel

announced that he would start preparing himself right

then at age six so he would have 12 years of preparation

Then he said with a smile ldquoDad can I change the song

from lsquoI Hope They Call Me on a Missionrsquo to lsquoI AM Going on

a Missionrsquordquo It was awesome

WHYbeing a

Three years after Daniel was born he was followed by his

brother Austin For me as a dad itrsquos been great to watch bothboys become best friends And Austin has been just as fun

as Daniel in his own way He enjoys building and destroying

block towers and one of his favorite activities is to fearlessly

wrestle me as if I stand no chance against his four-year-old

powers Of course I give in and let him winmdashso I guess I

reinforce his belief But itrsquos so much fun I know hersquoll be a

great wrestler but what I want most is for him to wrestle

ldquoagainst the rulers of the darkness of this worldrdquo and ldquoagainst

spiritual wickednessrdquo like it says in the scriptures (Ephesians

612) And I hope Irsquom helping to prepare him to do that We just recently had our third child a baby girl named

Faith During the delivery my wife was having some com-

plications and we were scared for our baby I gave Julia

a blessing Then she asked me to sing to her The Spirit

brought peace to both of us Soon baby Faith came safely

into the world It was a miracle and she definitely lived up

to her name Faithrsquos beautiful smile brightens my life I canrsquot

express in words how much she means to me

For any young man still wondering let me tell you You

were born to be a great dad The world may not agree butfatherhood is the best Someday yoursquoll find that your kids

inspire you too and that being a dad is the greatest adven-

ture of your life Yes itrsquos a duty and something you need to

take seriously but being a dad is unlike anything else NE

Chris Deaver lives in Florida USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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40 N e w E r a

We always seem to be encouraged to read more

because well everyone knows that reading is a

good thing But not all books are worth reading and just

because sexual material is written about rather than pho-

tographed or video recorded doesnrsquot mean that itrsquos less

morally hazardous Making a common display of a sacred

intimacy thatrsquos intended to only be part of a marriage rela-

tionship is wrongmdashwhether in words or imagesIf something yoursquore reading contains explicit sexual

descriptions that imprint themselves on your mind and

arouse sexual feelings in the same way that looking at

pornographic images would then guess what Itrsquos pornog-

raphy Remember the counsel in For the Strength of Youth

ldquoChoose wisely when using media because whatever you

read listen to or look at has an effect on you Select only

media that uplifts yourdquo ([2011] 11) NE

T O T H E P O I N T

President Boyd K

Packer President of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoEach

of us must come to ourown personal testimony

of the Lord Jesus Christ

We then share that testi-

mony with our family and

othersrdquo1 It can sometimes

be easy to question the

depth of your testimony

I know looking at pornographic

pictures is wrong but whatabout reading books with

ldquoromanticrdquo scenes

If I donrsquot have a burning

desire to share thegospel does that mean I

donrsquot have a testimony

when you compare your-

self to people like Brigham

Young who once said ldquoI

wanted to thunder and

roar out the gospel to thenations It burned in my

bones like fire pent uprdquo2

So what if you donrsquot feel

fire in your bones

Hopefully your lack of

desire doesnrsquot come from

a lack of concern for your

fellowmen As your faith in

Jesus Christ grows so does

your love of all people a

love that is a mark of the

true followers of Christ (see

Moroni 748 John 1335)

Itrsquos likely however

that your hesitancy sim-

ply comes from fear and

anxiety about speaking toothers For many people

such feelings can be over-

whelming Even prophets

have had doubts about their

ability to speak to people

(see Exodus 410 Moses

631) They of course

had no reason to question

their testimoniesmdashand

neither should you if you

are studying the scriptures

pondering praying fasting

repenting and doing all the

other things that help bring

the Spirit into your life

If you feel you just

need a little extra cour-age to share the gos-

pel visit ldsorggo

shareNE8 for ideas NE

NOTES

1 Boyd K Packer ldquoThe Witnessrdquo Ensign May 2014 96

2 Teachings of Presidents ofthe Church Brigham Young (1997) viii

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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C O M E F O L L O W M E

Family

983152983137tter983150 of

President Boyd K PackerPresident of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

April 2014 general conference

The ultimate end

of all activity in

the Church is that

a man and his wife

and their childrencan be happy

at home

The FamilyYoursquoll be studying about the family in your Sunday classes

this month As you study and discuss family you may pon-der these questions Why do Church leaders emphasize

family so much What is the place of family in Heavenly

Fatherrsquos plan How does family help make us happy

To find some answers to these questions see the

family proclamation near the back of your Personal

Progress or Duty to God booklet or online at ldsorg

gofamilyNE8 Yoursquoll also find teachings about

family relationships in general conference talks at

conferenceldsorg

Give yourself an easy reminder to prepare for your

Sunday lessons on the family Just place these cards

in your scriptures locker or bedroom You can also

download or share them online at ldsorggocardsNE8 B A C K G R O U N D T E X T U R E

B Y I S T O C K P H O T O T H I N K S T O C K

We 983150eed We 983150eed

MOR E

983155tre983150983143the983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

RELATIONSHIPS

983153u983137lity 983153u983137lity TIME amp EFFORT INTO

TO PUT

983155re983150983143te983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4552

T H E E X T R A S M I L E

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 43

I dont like to pack so I rsquo m just wearing all my stuff

JON CLARK

W h a t m a k e s y o

u t h i n k

D a d rsquo s t a l k i n g t o

t h e

p r o p h e t

B ecaus e h e s ai d h e w as on a conf er ence cal l

RYAN STOKER

F r o m n o w o n j u s t t a k e

a p i c t u r e o f t h e t o o t h a n

d

u p l o a d i t t o m y F a c e b o o k

p a g e

a n d t h e n I rsquo l l s e n d y o u t h e

m o n e y t h r o u g h P a y P a l

RANDY GLASBERGEN

[Gasp] He he made h is bed this morning

And I didnrsquo t even ask

VAL CHADWICK BAGLEY

Who says there arenrsquo t modern m iracles

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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44 N e w E r a

ldquoMymom works

Since you donrsquot see your mom often make sure that

the time you do have together is used well You

could talk to your mom about how to do this She

wants a good relationship with you too and will

help you work on it Try asking her what she would

appreciate coming home to a clean house doing an activity

together just talking with you As you regularly do activities your mom appreciates your relationship will improve

Of course you could plan some fun activities to do together

but any meaningful time togethermdashsuch as washing the dishes

or reading the scripturesmdashcan be a great way to build your

relationship

Also plan time for communication Understanding one

another is a key ingredient in good relationships One thing

to discuss is how your momrsquos work schedule will affect your

relationship with her You can avoid misunderstandings if you

talk about your expectations as well as your momrsquosPrayer will help Families are important to Heavenly Father

so He can inspire you to know how to improve your relation-

ship with your mom Donrsquot ignore a prompting to do something

that seems small (see Alma 376) A hug and a smile for exam-

ple can make a big difference NE

Write a Note

Even if you have very

little time together you

can still express your

love to your mother

Write her thoughtful secret notes As

she reads them at work she will think

of you Do as much as you can for

her Think about her more often and

pray for her Ask the Lord to inspire

you and prompt you regarding how

you can improve your relationship Irinka E 20 Odessa Ukraine

Seek to Understand Her

Try to understand her situation

because she works for your benefit

You can begin by helping with things

at home like cleaning the house

helping your siblings and cooking

You also can share scriptures with

your mom pray together and doactivities that you like to do together

Morony M 18 Chihuahua Mexico

Have a Special Sunday

On some Sundays we

have a special lunch

or dinner with a new

dessert we talk and at

the end we sing hymns This brings

us together and helps us be betterfriends

Rebeca N 12 Satildeo Paulo Brazil

Try an Experiment

We arrange time to be together hav-

ing family home evening playing

games going to the beach having

lunch together All of this helps to

Q U E S T I O N S amp A N S W E R S

all day Howcan I improve our

relationshiprdquo

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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keep the flame of a good relationship

alive When we disagree we avoid

criticizing I know that sometimes I

ask not to do housework but this

contributes to disharmony in the

home Since I began this experiment

mdashcomplaining less lowering my

voice helping more with housework

and talking more with my mothermdash

a sweet spirit has developed in our

home and we cooperate more

Glenda C 18 Bahia Brazil

Help at Home

Do some extra chores

around the house Your

mom has been work-

ing all day If she has

less work to do when she gets home

shersquoll probably be happier and have

more time to talk and do things with

you While you are talking you canask about her day at work It will

show her that you care and it will

open doors for other topics of discus-

sion allowing you to grow closer

Heather B 18 Oregon USA

Find Something You BothLike to Do

My mumrsquos relationship with me

skyrocketed when I said ldquoI want tospend more time with you but I donrsquot

know what to do or when to do itrdquo

Playing board games happens to be

our favorite pastime So we set aside

a time together to play laugh and

make memories When you are open

with your parents eventually they

become your best companions You

UPCOMING QUESTION

ldquoMy parents just

got divorced Irsquom angry that they

have broken up our

family How doI forgive themrdquo

Send your answer and photo by

September 15 2014

Go to neweraldsorg click ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo enter your LDS Accountand then select ldquoNew Erardquo

Responses may be edited for length

or clarity

Responses are intended for help and per-

spective not as official pronouncements ofChurch doctrine

will be able to talk to them about

anything and you will be sure of an

honest answer That is the sign of a

mature relationship

Ephraim S 15 New South Wales Australia

Read Scriptures Together

Both of you could set a goal to read

together every day even just five

minutes from the Book of Mormon

or any other Church book It will

strengthen your relationship andnourish you with the word of God

so you can be ready to face each day

Remember also to pray to God and

ask for His help I know He hears you

and loves you

Laura M 19 Coacuterdoba Argentina

LEARN FROM

YOUR MOTHER

ldquoPlease look to yourfaithful mothers fora pattern to followModel yourselves

after them not after celebritieswhose standards are not the Lordrsquosstandards and whose values maynot reflect an eternal perspectiveLook to your mother Learn fromher strengths her courage andher faithfulness Listen to her She

may not be a whiz at texting shemay not even have a Facebookpage But when it comes to mat-ters of the heart and the thingsof the Lord she has a wealth ofknowledgerdquo

Elder M Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles ldquoMothers and Daughtersrdquo

Ensign May 2010 19

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46 N e w E r a

MISERABLE TOTHE END OFTHE STREET

For one family home evening my

dad wanted to take advantage

of a pause in the rainy weather

to go on a walk around the neighbor-

hood I grumbled and complained

that it was too wet and muddy to

go walking I used the excuse that

I had a ballet recital that week and

didnrsquot want to sprain an ankle but

my dad didnrsquot buy it He insisted thatit was going to be the activity for the

evening I murmured a bit more about

the unfairness and my recital but we

left on the walk anyway

As I glumly stomped outside for

the walk with my family I was deter-

mined not to smile or be happy I

succeeded in feeling miserable until

I N S T A N T M E S S A G E S

we reached the end of the street Then

we turned the corner and I saw in full

force naturersquos beauty and wonder

Before me was a gorgeous sunset

and opposite it was a rainbow arching

above our neighborhood rooftops

I immediately forgot all about being

miserable and looked around in awe

On the way home I said a prayer of

gratitude thanking God for the beautyof His creations I later thanked my

dad for choosing the activity and for

allowing us to enjoy nature for that

family home evening

Jennie H North Carolina USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 47

STANDARDS AND FRIENDS

Since Irsquove been in school Irsquove had friends who havenrsquot understood the

moral standards of our religion At first it was difficult but over time

my friends have become used to the idea of my being morally clean I

made a goal in my life to be clean and pure and itrsquos worked out well both

for me and for those who used to criticize me Over time respect peace and

joy have become a part of our loving circle of friends

Vitoacuteria M Brazil

A DIFFICULT DECISION

FORGIVINGMY FRIENDS

As the only member of the

Church in my peer group

Irsquove experienced some

instances when my friends have

offended me Sometimes they judge

and criticize my religion I feel so

alone yet Irsquom thankful I know the

standards of the Church

If my friends offend me I try to

humble myself and avoid contention

because I know contention is evil When they start discussing some mat-

ters about the Church I just testify of

my belief in the gospel

I always forgive my friends with or

without their apology Forgiving is not

just about saying ldquoApology acceptedrdquo

or ldquoItrsquos OKrdquo because forgiveness has

a deep meaning Jesus Christ atoned

for our sins so that Heavenly Father

can forgive usEven though my friends donrsquot

understand my faith now I know that

I can be Godrsquos instrument to teach

them the gospel I am helping them

and at the same time I am helping

myself to grow spiritually and prepare

to serve a mission

Joshua V Philippines

As volleyball tryouts approached for my senior year in high

school I couldnrsquot believe the thought that was running through

my head I wasnrsquot supposed to play volleyball Irsquod played vol-

leyball since seventh grademdashwhy should this year be any different

Not seeing the sense in quitting I ignored the feeling and continued

to participate in summer volleyball events After a while the feeling

came back so I decided that if I really wasnrsquot supposed to be on the

team my coach would just cut me during tryouts

Then one night at the gym I couldnrsquot focus on the game at all I felt

terrible and restless inside I came home frustrated with my team and

with myself I sat next to my mom and sister and cried I told them

how confused I was and my mom told me to pray and ask Heavenly

Father what He wanted me to do I went up to my room and began to

pray I told Heavenly Father how I felt then I asked Him to help mefeel peace if I was not supposed to continue playing volleyball I felt

His peace in my heart and knew that I needed to quit

Irsquom still not sure all the reasons why that was the right

decision but I know that itrsquos what the Lord

wanted me to do and thatrsquos a good

enough reason for me

The next morning I told my

coach and my teammates that

I wasnrsquot going to be playing

Even though it was incrediblyhard I knew I was doing

the right thing

Klaire B Arizona USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5152

you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5252

WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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SOME FINAL TIPS

Just to finish here are some general

money-related guidelines to keep in mind

bull Keep track of your money and keep it in

a safe place

bull You canrsquot buy happiness but being will-

ing to share usually results in a smile

bull Avoid gambling of any kind

bull Be cautious of things that seem too good

to be truemdashthey usually are

The most important lesson about money

however is to keep in mind that wersquore not

here on earth to get rich or to have a lot of

fancy things Remember these truths from

the Doctrine and Covenants ldquoSeek not for

riches but for wisdom and behold the mys-

teries of God shall be unfolded unto you

and then shall you be made rich Behold he

that hath eternal life is richrdquo (DampC 67) NE

Arianne Cope lives in Utah USA

THE FUN STUFF

Herersquos a little-known fact a half-gallon

of ice cream from the grocery store tastes

almost as good as ice cream from an ice-cream shop Also a fact you can often buy

a half-gallon of ice cream for the same price

yoursquod pay for a single serving at an ice-

cream shop So if you need to save some

money suggest that your friends all split a

half-gallon from the store rather than spend-

ing a lot more at the ice-cream shop

And thatrsquos just one example of simple

money solutions You can be frugal in lots of

ways while still having a great time

bull Watch the newspaper or look online to

find free community or local events

bull If you want to see a movie go to a mati-

nee or a dollar theater for cheaper tickets

bull Plan ahead Make a list of ideas of free

things to do with your friends so you

wonrsquot rely on spending money to enter-

tain yourselves

bull Have fun outdoors without paying much

(if anything) Enjoy a campfire in the

canyon or on the beach or a free Frisbee

game at the parkmdashthey can be just

as much fun as going to a movie or a

concert

12 N e w E r a

FACT YOU CAN OFTEN BUY A HALF-GALLON OF

ICE CREAM FOR THE SAME PRICE YOUrsquoD PAY FOR A

SINGLE SERVING AT AN ICE-CREAM SHOP

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 13

3 Nephi 1815 20ndash21Jesus Christ taught the Nephites the importance of prayer

Editorrsquos note This page is not meant to be a com-

prehensive explanation of the selected seminary

scripture mastery verses only a starting point for

your own study

983148983141983155983156 983161983141 983138983141 983156983141983149983152983156983141983140

This is one of many scriptures

that teach how praying can help

us escape Satanrsquos temptations (see

also DampC 105 3112 and 6139)

Here are some other blessings thescriptures promise when you obey

the command to pray always What

blessings have you received

bull You will be worthy to stand in the

presence of God (see Luke 2136)

bull The Lord will consecrate your

efforts (see 2 Nephi 329)

bull The Spirit will be poured upon

you (see DampC 1938)

bull You will be given strength toendure (see DampC 88126)

bull Things will work out for your

good (see DampC 9024)

983152983154983137983161 983137983148983159983137983161983155

ldquoWe should be alone

with our Heavenly

Father at least two

or three times each

daymdashlsquomorning mid-day and eve-ningrsquo as the scripture indicates (Alma

3421) In addition we are told to

pray always (See 2 Ne 329 DampC

88126) This means that our hearts

should be full drawn out in prayer

unto our Heavenly Father continually

(See Alma 3427)rdquo

President Ezra Taft Benson (1899ndash1994) ldquoPray

Alwaysrdquo Ensign Feb 1990 2

L I N E U P O N L I N E

983159983144983137983156983155983151983141983158983141983154 983161983141 983155983144983137983148983148 983137983155983147

In the scriptures the Lord repeatedly

promises to answer our prayers if we

will but ask What can you learn from

these scriptures about how to ask and

receive answers What other scriptures

can you find that teach about this

bull James 15ndash6

bull 1 Nephi 1511

bull Enos 12ndash15

bull Mormon 921

bull DampC 810

bull DampC 4630ndash32

983159983144983145983139983144 983145983155 983154983145983143983144983156

ldquoHere the Savior

reminds us that faith

no matter how strong

it is cannot produce

a result contrary to the will of him

whose power it is The exercise of

faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is always

subject to the order of heaven to

the goodness and will and wisdom

and timing of the Lord That is why we cannot have true faith in the

Lord without also having complete

trust in the Lordrsquos will and in the

Lordrsquos timingrdquo

Elder Dallin H Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles ldquo lsquoFaith in the Lord Jesus Christrsquo rdquo

Ensign May 1994 100

983137983148983159983137983161983155 983145983150 983149983161 983150983137983149983141

Praying in Christrsquos name means

more than just ending our prayers

in the name of Jesus Christ The

Bible Dictionary teaches ldquoWe pray

in Christrsquos name when our mind isthe mind of Christ and our wishes

the wishes of Christmdashwhen His

words abide in us (John 157) We

then ask for things it is possible for

God to grant Many prayers remain

unanswered because they are not

in Christrsquos name at all they in no

way represent His mind but spring

out of the selfishness of manrsquos

heartrdquo (ldquoPrayerrdquo)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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By ElderJoseacute L Alonso

Of the Seventy

LINKED PRAYERS COUNSELING WITH THE LORD

ldquoThere may be things in our character in our behavior or concerningour spiritual growth about which we need to counsel with HeavenlyFather in morning prayer After expressing appropriate thanks for

blessings received we plead for understanding direction and helpto do the things we cannot do in our own strength alone

ldquoAt the end of our day we kneel again and report back to our Father We reviewthe events of the day and express heartfelt thanks for the blessings and the helpwe received We repent and with the assistance of the Spirit of the Lord identifyways we can do and become better tomorrow Thus our evening prayer buildsupon and is a continuation of our morning prayer And our evening prayer also is apreparation for meaningful morning prayerrdquo

Elder David A Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles ldquoPray Alwaysrdquo Ensign Nov 2008 41ndash42

14 N e w E r a

When I was 15 I went

to live with my father

while I finished high

school He lived and

worked in another city and had joined

the Church I didnrsquot know he was

a member but I saw that he acted

differently He acted with love and

kindness and was interested in myconcerns and needs

The first night I arrived I was

so hungry We sat down for dinner

and I started to eat but my father

said ldquoWait a minute We need to

prayrdquo I said ldquoWe need to what rdquo I

didnrsquot even know what the word

pray meant My father explained

that he was going to thank God our

Heavenly Father for the food we

had received from Him and then

we could eat My father prayed

and in his prayer he mentioned myname and asked for God to bless

me I felt something wonderful That

was the first time I felt the Spirit so

strongly in my life

My father taught me to pray to

Heavenly Father on my own Later

when the missionaries taught me

about Joseph Smithrsquos prayer I imme-

diately felt that it was possible for the

Lord to answer the prayer of a young

man The missionaries asked me to

read the Book of Mormon and to pray

to know if Jesus is the Christ if JosephSmith was a prophet and if the Book

of Mormon is true

That night I read the story in

3 Nephi 11 of when Jesus visits the

Nephites I was in a private place

so I got down on my knees and I

prayed Even though I was only 15 I

had faith that the Lord would answer

my prayer I received an impression

in my mind as clear as anything Ihad ever seen that Jesus is the Christ

Joseph Smith was a prophet and

the Book of Mormon is true I felt

like Joseph Smith after that prayer

I was so happy to truly know that

Heavenly Father answers prayers

from young people

Irsquod Never PRAYED BEFORE

i983150 Th983137t W983137y

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 15

WHAT KEPT ME STRONG

D983137ily P983137yer

As a teenager in an area with-

out a lot of Church members

I found that daily prayer was one

of the most important things that

helped me stay spiritually strong

I made sure to pray every day and

developed a pattern that helped

memdashmorning and evening prayers

When I heard

my father prayfor the rst timel felt something

wonderful

MORNING PRAYERS

Every morning I would share with

the Lord

bull My plans for the day

bull What I wanted to do

bull What I thought the Lord

wanted me to do

I would present my plans to

God and then ask for the Lordrsquos

help in accomplishing them

EVENING PRAYERS

Every evening I would

bull Report on how my day went

and if I had accomplished the

things I had set out to do

bull Share things that had been

difficult for me

bull Share things that I had learned

from people or through the

Spirit that dayThe more I prayed the more

I learned to understand and

receive impressions from the

Holy Ghost These impressions

helped me gain more strength

to follow the direction of the

Lord NE

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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16 N e w E r a

With canteen in hand I was prepared for my

second 50-mile hike and campout in the

Uinta Mountains I was about as well pre-

pared as a 14-year-old could be My equip-

ment was all set to go my boots were sturdy and my pack

was full of all the essentials

The day of the hike arrived and our

leaders reminded our group of young men

that the mountains could be very danger-

ous Hikers and campers were often lost

in the rugged hills and on the numerous

trails We were warned not to wander

away from the path Our leadersmdashmy

father includedmdashall seemed concerned

for our safety and were anxious to keep

us from straying off of our chosen pathBeing one of the stronger hikers and

a leader in the group I soon found myself

and three other boys leading the way

Sometimes we waited for our group at the

forks in the trail to make sure we followed

the correct path and would not become lost

We hiked for hours laughing and joking all the way We

were having a great time Suddenly we heard frantic calls

and the sounds of running We knew something must have

gone wrong We wondered if maybe some of the grouphad become lost I was concerned for the friends Irsquod left

behind with the leaders Something bad must have happened

We stopped to listen so we could hear what the distant

voices were yelling We heard our names More specifically

I heard my name being called I recognized my fatherrsquos

voice We called back and heard their heavy footsteps coming

in our direction

Something bad had happened We learned that

four of the boys in our group had strayed from

the correct path and had become lost It was us

We were the ones who were lost My father was

thankful to have finally found us and together we

began the hike back to the correct trail

In my head I retraced my footsteps I couldnrsquot

figure out how Irsquod become lost I felt like I was

still on the original path Irsquod been so sure We

retraced our steps and my father showed us aturn we had missed It was just a small path with

a little hidden sign marking the correct way

We had hiked two miles off the right trail

We were thankful wersquod been found

before dark For the rest of the hike

we stayed close to our leaders and the rest of the

group and were never in danger again

Sometimes our overconfidence as youth

gives us an unrealistic sense of independence

We push on without consulting our parentsor leaders We fail to ask for advice We feel

By Duncan Anderson

Mile Hike

The

We stoppedto listen so we

could hear whatthe distant voices

were yellingWe heard ournames We

called back andheard their heavyfootsteps comingin our direction

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 17

certain wersquore headed in a direction leading to the right

destination We laugh and joke and enjoy the path until itrsquos

too late too dark and wersquore lost

When it comes to choosing the right trails in life our

Heavenly Father has provided tools to guide us and keep us

on the path that leads to Him We have the scriptures prayer

and revelation our parents guidelines like For the Strength

of Youth and our Church leaders to guide us through the

countless options life offers

When we do stray off the path itrsquos often our loving parents

and dedicated leaders who come to the rescue They can

guide us back to the correct way and show us where we

went wrong Through repentance we can correct those

wrongs and start fresh on the right path headed toward the

destination that will give us eternal happiness and a life in the

presence of our Heavenly Father NE

Duncan Anderson lives in Utah USA

CHOOSING RIGHT PATHS

ldquoI plead with you to make a determi-nation right here right now notto deviate from the path which willlead to our goal eternal life with ourFather in Heaven Along that straight

and true path there are other goals missionaryservice temple marriage Church activity scripturestudy prayer temple work There are countless wor-thy goals to reach as we travel through life Neededis our commitment to reach themrdquo

President Thomas S Monson ldquoThe Three Rs of Choicerdquo

Ensign Nov 2010 68

NEED ADVICE

Is there anything yoursquod like advice on Donrsquot be afraid to ask your

parents or Church leaders Remember they are there to help you

no matter what yoursquod like to talk about

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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One of the things we agree

to do as part of the bap-

tismal covenant is ldquoto

stand as witnesses of

God at all times and in all things and in

all places that [we] may be inrdquo (Mosiah

189) And incidentally we renew this

covenant every week when we partake

of the sacramentIn the April 2014 general conference

several speakers reminded us that there

will be times when standing as a witness

of God will mean having to face oppo-

sition criticism and ridicule So what

should you do when yoursquore required

to take the uncomfortable uncool or

unpopular step of defending your beliefs

By David A Edwards

Church Magazines

Be brave and humble firm and gentle

all at the same time With the Lordrsquos

help itrsquos not as hard as it sounds

18 N e w E r a

of Defe983150di983150983143Your Beliefs

Dorsquos 983137983150d

Donrsquots

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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you should rely on the Spiritto guide your defense of your

faith Bear testimony by the

Spirit Thatrsquos the Lordrsquos way

(See also DampC 1005ndash8)

The point here is not that

you should avoid any discus-

sion in which people have dif-

fering points of view Rather it

has to do with your intent as

well as the emotions involved

We should seek understand-

ing and try to persuade withmeekess not just score points

and prove wersquore right and

someone else is wrong A

discussion where people are

getting really worked up and

angry is one you should either

try to soften or simply avoid

Heavenly Father has given

you the gift of the Holy Ghost

and you should take advan-

tage of this gift This doesnrsquot

mean reason and logic canrsquot

be inspired or confirmed by

the Spirit it just means that

Elder W Craig Zwick of

the Seventy has explained

this scripture this way ldquoA lsquosoft

answerrsquo consists of a reasoned

responsemdashdisciplined words

from a humble heart It does

not mean we never speak

directly or that we compro-

mise doctrinal truth Words

that may be firm in infor-

mation can be soft in spiritrdquo

(ldquoWhat Are You Thinkingrdquo

Ensign May 2014 42)

ldquoA SOFT ANSWER TURNETH AWAY

wr983137thBUT

GRIEVOUS WORDS stir u983152 983137983150983143errdquo

(Proverbs 151)

ldquoBeholdI send you forthas sheep in the

midst of wolves be ye therefore wise as serpents

and h983137r983149less as dovesrdquo

(Matthew 1016)

The Savior doesnrsquot want

you to be ignorant or naiumlve

but He also doesnrsquot want you

to attack anyone Knowing

what goes on in the world

doesnrsquot mean we have to

use its tactics

ldquoCONTEND AGAINST

NO CHURCHrdquo (DampC 1820)

There is no need to

criticize other churches

Positive statements of your

beliefs rather than negative

statements about others will

be most effective As the

Prophet Joseph Smith said

ldquoWe donrsquot ask any people

to throw away any good

they have got we only ask

them to come and get morerdquo

(Teachings of Presidents

of the Church Joseph

Smith [2007] 155)

ldquoAND THOUSHALT DECLARE

983143l983137d tidi983150983143s ldquoAND THOU SHALTDO IT WITH 983137ll hu983149ilityTRUSTING IN ME 983154evili983150983143 983150ot

AGAINST REVILERSrdquo

(DampC 1929ndash30)

The tidings you declare

are glad Remember that

and make sure your face and

your voice show it too Also

the word revile here means

to hurl abusive or insulting

language at a person So if

ldquoFOR I AM

NOT ASHAMED

OF THE GOSPEL OF CHRISTrdquo

(Romans 116)

As President Thomas S

Monson has said ldquoWe will all

face fear experience ridiculeand meet opposition Let

usmdashall of usmdashhave the courage

to defy the consensus the

courage to stand for prin-

ciple Courage not com-

promise brings the smile of

Godrsquos approvalrdquo (ldquoBe Strong

and of a Good Couragerdquo

Ensign May 2014 69)

The scriptures give you some basic principles for standing up for your faith including the following

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 19

ldquoWe s983152e983137k

NOT IN THE WORDS which 983149983137983150rsquos

WISDOM TEACH ETH

but which THE HOLY GHOST

TEACHETHrdquo

(1 Corinthians 213)

ldquoHE THATHATH THE

SPIRIT OF CONTENTIONIS NOT OF ME

BUT ISOF THE DEVIL

WHO IS THE FATHER OFCONTENTION AND

HE STIRRETH UPTHE HEARTS

OF MEN

TO CONTEND WITH ANGER

ONE WITH ANOTHERrdquo(3 Nephi 1129)

HERErsquoS SOME ADVICE FROM THE SCRIPTURES

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2252

How Do You Defend Do you have experi-ence in defending yourbeliefs Or do you haveideas to add to theselists Go to ldsorggodefendNE8 and share

Finding Courage

Read more on this topic atldsorggocourageNE8

someonersquos doing that to you

donrsquot retaliate and do the

same thing back to them The

Apostle Peter taught that the

Savior Himself gave the exam-

ple you should follow in thisregard (see 1 Peter 223)

ldquoLOVE YOUR ENEMIESbless them

that curse you

DO GOOD TO T HEMTHAT HATE YOU

and pray for

them which

DESPITEFULLY USE YOUAND PERSECUTE YOUrdquo

(Matthew 544)ldquoSEE THAT YE ARE NOT lifted u983152 u983150to

983152ride ye983137 SEE THAT YE DO

NOT BOAST IN YOUR

OWN WISDOM

983150or of your 983149uch stre983150983143thldquoUSE BOLDNESS

BUT NOT

OVERBEARANCErdquo (Alma 3811ndash12)

Here the word tenets

refers to opinions or teachings

that go beyond the basics So

the Lord is saying to stick to

the basic message of the gos-

pel when yoursquore declaring Hisglad tidings This also applies

to defending your faith

You donrsquot need to stray into

detailed discussions about

every little thing related to the

Church As Elder Richard G

Scott of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles has said

ldquoKeep your sharing of the

gospel simple rdquo (ldquo lsquoI HaveGiven You an Examplerdquo

Ensign May 2014 34)

ldquoEveryone independent

of his or her decisions and

beliefs deserves our kind-

ness and considerationrdquo said

Elder Neil L Andersen of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles ldquoThe Savior

taught us to love not only

our friends but also those

who disagree with usmdashand

even those who repudiate

usrdquo (ldquoSpiritual Whirlwindsrdquo

Ensign May 2014 20)

Again be humble Itrsquos not

about you or how smart and

capable you are Also you can

be bold without making over-

blown statements or being

a verbal or intellectual bully

As Elder Jeffrey R Holland

of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoYou willone day find yourself called

upon to defend your faith

Such moments will require

both courage and courtesy

on your partrdquo (ldquoThe Costmdashand

Blessingsmdashof Discipleshiprdquo

Ensign May 2014 6)

ldquoA983150d of te983150ets thou sh983137lt 983150ot t983137lk but thou shalt

declare repentance andfaith on the Savior and 983154e983149issio983150 of si983150sby baptism and by fire

yea even the Holy Ghostrdquo(DampC 1931)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2452

22 N e w E r a

I received my first two-wheel bicycle

when I was eight years old With

the help of my older brother and

father I began the rather scary pro-

cess of figuring out how to ride it The other kids in the neighborhood

made it look so easy and natural as

they zoomed up and down the street

on their bikes I perched on the bike

seatmdashwhich seemed to be at least

10 feet (3 m) above the groundmdashand

realized there was absolutely noth-

ing to keep me from falling over and

proving that the law of gravity was

alive and well As I tried riding I learned quickly

that if I wanted to stay balanced I had

to keep pedaling When I first sat on

the seat speed was the last thing I

wanted to add to the already daunting

equation But I very soon understood

the wisdom and the physics involved

in moving forward As long as I kept

pedaling I could stay upright and

avoid the rough concrete just waiting

to take the skin off my arms and legs

Soon I was zipping around the neigh-

borhood with my friends

Defy Gr983137vity Defy Gr983137vity

of the First Presidency as outlined

in that booklet our lives will be bal-

anced and steady We will be led

where we want to go

We need to keep moving forwardto avoid falling To do that we should

consistently and faithfully do certain

actions

bull Pray morning and night

bull Study the scriptures daily

bull Attend Church meetings and par-

take of the sacrament worthily

bull Serve those around us

bull Be worthy to attend the temple

All of these actions keep us moving

forward in the right direction

Thatrsquos why reading and being famil-

iar with the standards described in For

the Strength of Youth will help ensure

we are making choices consistent with

Godrsquos standards Living these princi-

ples and keeping the commandments

F O R T H E S T R E N G T H O F Y O U T H

By Bonnie LOscarson

Young WomenGeneral President

As you keep moving forward you can stay upright even

when outside forces try to pull you down

Just as those who keep

pedaling a bike can stay

upright despite gravityrsquos

influence those who are

guided by the Holy Spirit in

all they do can withstand

the influence of theadversary

So it is with living the gospel and

the standards in For the Strength of

Youth It takes faith to believe that if

we consistently follow the counsel

GO FORWARD WITH FAITH

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 23

invite the Holy Ghost to be our con-

stant companion Just as those who

keep pedaling a bike can stay upright

despite gravityrsquos influence those who

are guided by the Holy Spirit in allthey do can withstand the influence of

the adversary

What are the destinations you have

in mind as you pedal forward For all

young men of the Aaronic Priesthood

preparing now for a full-time mission

is important in forward growth For

all youth being prepared to go to the

temple and receive the endowment by

making and keeping sacred covenantsshould also be a primary goal

As the message from the First

Presidency at the beginning of For the

Strength of Youth says ldquoIn all that you

do stay focused on the temple In the

temple you will receive the greatest

of all the Lordrsquos blessings including

marriage for time and all eternityrdquo1

Receiving the covenant of eternal

marriage in the house of the Lord and

becoming righteous husbands wives

fathers and mothers may seem far

down the road but the time to beginpreparing is now All of these things

lead to the most glorious and grand

destination of allmdasheternal life with

our Heavenly Father

One of my favorite scriptures

sums up what we need to do in order

to keep moving toward our goals

ldquoWherefore ye must press forward

with a steadfastness in Christ hav-

ing a perfect brightness of hopeand a love of God and of all men

Wherefore if ye shall press forward

feasting upon the word of Christ and

endure to the end behold thus saith

the Father Ye shall have eternal liferdquo

(2 Nephi 3120)

Just as I learned as an eight-year-

old girl that I needed to keep pedaling

and moving forward in order to defy

gravity and keep my balance on my

bicycle it is important for all of us to

keep moving forward with faith trust-

ing in the counsel of living prophetsand a loving Heavenly Father to keep

us from falling Some of our destina-

tions are just down the road while

others will take a lifetime of faithful

living to achieve The promises of

what lies at the end of the road if we

are faithful are certain and glorious

and well worth the ride NE

NOTE

1 For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

Learn MoreSee whatrsquos next in your covenant path

at ldsorggocovenantNE8

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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24 N e w E r a

BOA R D

GA M E S

B y Da vid Chris tensen

My chance to play le f t

a lasting impact but it

wasnrsquot what Irsquod e xpected

L o s i n

g s o

q u i c k

l y w

a s b

a d e

n o u

g h

b

u t t o

m a k

e m

a t t e r s

w o r s e

t h

e o t h

e r g

u y

s s t a r t e

d t o

m a k

e

f u n

o f

m e

I

t r i e d

t o c o

n t i n

u e

p l a y i n g

e v e

n t h

o u

g h

t h e y

w e r

e b

e i n

g m

e a n

b

u t i t

w a s h

a r d t o h o

l d b

a c k m y t e

a r s

o f f r u s t

r a t i o n

U

n f o

r t u n a t e l y

o n e t e

a r t r i c k l e

d d

o w

n m y

c h e e

k b

e f o

r e I

c o u

l d w i p

e i t

a w a y M

y b

r o t h

e r

s a w i t

a n d

t e a s e

d m

e t o

o

I c o

u l d

n rsquo t

t a k e i t

a n y

m o r e

a n d

r a n t o

m y

r o o m

I g a v e m y s e l

f a q u i c k p i n

c h

t o m a k e s u r

e I w a s n rsquo

t d r e a m i n g

a n d t h e

n I v o i c e d

a t i m i d ldquo Y e

a h

s u r e rdquo I s t

i l l c o u l d

n rsquo t b e l i e

v e t h a t

m y b r o t h e

r h a d i n v

i t e d m e t o

p l a y a g a m e w i t h

t h e ldquo b i g k i

d s rdquo

A f t e r a l l

I rsquo d b e e n t o l d f o r t h

r e e

y e a r s t h a

t I w a s s t i l l

t o o y o u

n g

t o p l a y m o r e d i f fi

c u l t b o a

r d

g a m e s w i t h m y b r o

t h e r a n d

h i s f r i e n d s

A N D B R O

T H

E R S

I

felt the hot tears of anger slowly slide

down my face I wiped them away with

my hand but I could still feel the

slightly salty taste on my lips assobs of anguish began to pour out

I just wanted to hang out with my

brother Why couldnrsquot he be my

friend too

J u s t a f e w

h o u r s

b e f o

r e I h a d

s t a r e d a t

m y o

l d e r b

r o t h

e r S t e v e

i n c o

m p

l e t e s u r p

r i s e

w a i t i n

g f o r h

i m t o

t e

l l

m e t h

a t h e w

a s o n

l y

j o k i n g ldquo W

e l l d o y o

u

w a n

t t o p

l a y rdquo S t e v e

a s k e d i m p

a

t i e n t l y

I w

e n t i n t o t h e

r o o m w h

e r e t h e

o l d e r b o y s

w e r e

s e t t i n g u p

t h e b o a r d

g a m e A s t h e

g a m e s t a r t e d

w i t h

e v e r y o n e s t r a t e g i c a l l y

p l a c i n g

t h e i r g a m

e

p i e c e s

I f e l t l i k e

I w

a s d r e a

m i n g F o r

t h e fi r s t t i m

e

I f e l t e q u a l t o

m y b r o t h e r mdash

n o t l i k e I

w a s j u s t h i s

t a g a l o n g

T h e d r e a m

e n d e d q u i c k

l y h o w e v e r

T h e

g a m e w

a s t o u g h

a n d m y i n

e x p e r i e n c e

a n d l a c k

o f k n o w l e d g e

b e c

a m e

p a i n f u l l y o b v i o u s

a s t h e o t

h e r

p l a y e r s q u i c k l y

a n d

s o u n d l y d e f e a t e d

m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2852

26 N e w E r a

Le983137r983150i983150983143 the i983150s 983137983150d outs of d983137ti983150983143 c983137983150 be h983137rd Let this course tur983150 you

i983150to 983137 d983137ti983150983143 983152ro

By Matthew ORichardson

Served as Second

Counselor in theSunday SchoolGeneral Presidencyfrom 2009 to 2014

hile speaking to youth about how to prepare for a celestial marriage

President Thomas S Monson emphasized that ldquoproper dating is a part

of preparation for marriagerdquo 1 Have you thought much about happy

relationships Elder Russell M Nelson of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said a ldquocelestial marriage brings greater possibilities for happiness than

does any other relationshiprdquo2

When I was serving as bishop in a young single adult ward I worried about those

who approached dating with very little purpose understanding or direction This

caused me to wonder if my own children would be any different when their time came

My wife and I decided to help our children prepare for ldquoproper datingrdquo and happy rela-tionships by creating the Richardson Dating Academy or RDA as our children call it

It wasnrsquot long after we started the RDA that friends of our children wanted to partici-

pate and even become RDA graduates So how about you Are you ready to become a

dating academy graduate yourself Class is in session

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 27

Lesso983150 1 ur983152oses 983137983150d St983137983150d983137rds of D983137ti983150983143

Lesso983150 2 W983137tch 983137983150d Le983137r983150

Homework

As you know ldquodatingrdquo means different things to differ-

ent people Your first assignment is to figure out just what

a ldquodaterdquo is according to Church standards Can you explain

the purposes of dating and the specific dating standards and

guidelines set by the Church Or do you know when itrsquosmost appropriate to be involved in dating and steady dating

(having a boyfriend or girlfriend)

You can find answers to these questions in the ldquoDatingrdquo

section of For the Strength of Youth The First Presidency

reminds us why knowing and understanding these stan-

dards are so important They promise ldquoThe standards in this

Elder Jeffrey R Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles once explained that most athletic contests have ldquolines

drawn on the floor or the field within which every participant

must stay in order to competerdquo3 Success depends on how

well a competitor knows and stays within the set boundaries

Likewise itrsquos important to know the ldquodating linesrdquo or the pur-

poses and standards of dating as taught by Church leaders

One of the most com-

mon ways people learn

is by watching others

Dating is no different

In the dating academy

we spend time observ-

ing others in dating

situations In our family

we learned many point-ersmdashsome to do others

to avoidmdashby watching

dates in progress at

restaurants and other

settings Yes we went to

certain places with the

sole purpose to observe

dates for ldquoclassrdquo

booklet will help you with the important choices you are

making now and will yet make in the futurerdquo4

Now that you have a solid foundation of the stan-

dards and purposes of dating (you did do your home-

work and read that section didnrsquot you) itrsquos time to move

on to lesson 2

Tips

Here are some suggestions that will help you learn

as you observe

bull Watch but donrsquot be creepy This is about learning from

others but not stalking staring or even judging Look for

things you like and things you would like to avoid

bull Go to a variety of places and settings to observe others

Not every date is the same nor should it be Watch how thesetting affects the experience

bull Watch how people interact with each other Can you tell

who is with whom Are they paying attention to each

other In what ways Are they talking with each other Do

they look like they enjoy being with each other How can

you tell if they are having fun

bull Talk with a parent leader or good friends and share what

you noticed and what you learned

Homework

The next time you go

out to eat attend a movie

or go to almost any activ-

ity make an effort to look

around and see how other

people are interacting It

may surprise you to see

how much dating is actu-ally going on Take the

time to learn from those

around you by paying

attention to whatrsquos work-

ing and what isnrsquot

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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28 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 3 l983137983150983150i983150983143 983137 D983137te

Tips

bull Start planning early

bull Donrsquot be afraid to bounce ideas off your friendsparents and others They can provide excellent

suggestions that you havenrsquot even thought about

bull Make sure you let your budget amount of time

available the reasons for dating and Church stan-

dards guide your planning

bull Think of what you hope will happen during the

date from beginning to end This helps you realize

what needs to be done to make the date a success

bull Pay attention to details Call ahead for event times

prices menus and what the proper dress is for

the occasion

bull Plan for emergencies For example what will you

do if you donrsquot have enough money or have car

trouble What if your date gets sick

Homework

Rather than leaving everything to chance dating acad-

emy grads understand what needs to happen and theyplan accordingly

Your homework assignment even if yoursquore years away

from dating is to practice planning an event You can

brainstorm with friends really fun ideas for a date Then

work together to think of what planning is required to

make those ideas actually happen Or you can ask your

parents to let you plan the next family outing

You might choose a place to eat or what to do Plan all

the details (event times travel time cost backup plans)

and then put your plan into action You could evencome up with a dating plan complete with backup ideas

if something goes wrong and share it in family home

evening while talking together around the dinner table

or with friends You may find that properly planning an

activity is almost as much fun as the actual date

The quality of experience yoursquoll have with others is

often determined by what happens before a date begins

Showing up on your datersquos doorstep with no plan is a

recipe for an awkward experience Nobody likes playing

the ldquoWhat do you want to dordquo game

Yoursquore better than that With a little practice you can

become a date-planning champion And young women

no fair skipping this section While most of the time young

men plan and ask for dates yoursquoll still want to have these

skills down for when itrsquos your turn

Group Date IdeasNeed ideas Check out ldsorggoideasNE8 Some

of the youth activities there could be adapted for dates

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Homework

In the Richardson Dating Academy all of our

children practiced dating invitations For example

our children might call an aunt older sibling or other

family member to practice inviting someone on a

date Or our son or daughter would receive an invita-

tion from a family member and practice responding

They learned how to deal with rejection acceptance

or even a disinterested response or two

Now itrsquos your turn Working with your parents ask

them to line up somebody in your family you can call

and practice inviting on a date Make sure you do this

more than once

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 29

You know your dating standards front and back

yoursquove watched others in dating situations and

yoursquove come up with a solid date plan

Congratulations Now you still need to invite

someone Or you need to know how to respond

when you are invited So whatrsquos the best way A

phone call Ask in person Here are some different

points to consider

Lesso983150 4 I983150viti983150983143 Others 983137983150d Bei983150983143 I983150vited

Tips

bull Be ready to give details when you invite

someone on a date Talk about what you have

planned start and end times whorsquos participat-ing and how they should dress (casual dressy

etc) Your excellent planning from academy

lesson 3 makes this part of the academy easy

bull Therersquos a time to talk by phone and a time to

ask face-to-face The more important the event

is the more personal the invitation should be

Donrsquot be afraid to skip technology and actually

talk with someone

bull Some events may require you to speak with

your datersquos parents first This shows respectand courtesy

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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30 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 5 O983150 the D983137te

It would be impossible for any dating academy to cover

every little thing to consider or plan for in dating So much

depends on good judgment communication with your par-

ents and listening to the Spirit

Still here are a few key points you might want to brush

up on before putting your date plan into action

Tips

bull Develop a ldquoyou firstrdquo attitude This means you always

think of your date first Is he or she having fun Is he or

she comfortable

bull Make sure you dress appropriately for the occasion

The way you dress usually communicates how you feelabout others and about the event Know the difference

between casual (but never sloppy) semiformal and

formal and when it would be appropriate to dress in

those ways

bull Show common courtesy by opening doors saying

thank you talking less about yourself and more about

your date and extending sincere compliments

bull Learn how to navigate restaurants Know how to make

a reservation get a table calculate a service tip and

pay the bill

Homework

Once again the best way to learn any good skill is by practic-

ing it Our youth enjoyed role-playing different situations

to think about how to act most appropriately We

also loved going out to eat as part of the dating acad-

emy experience Our children learned how to act in

a restaurant order a meal calculate the tip and paythe bill by actually doing it when they were with us

Look for opportunities to practice skills you should use on a

date For example the next time you and your family go some-

where ask your parents to let you purchase the tickets order

the meal or calculate the tip Treat your family or friends with

the same respect and courtesy that you should show others on a

date Open doors for your family be the first to say ldquothank yourdquo

and pay attention so you are part of the conversation

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 31

Lesso983150 6 The Doorste983152

NOTES

1 Thomas S Monson ldquoPreparation BringsBlessingsrdquo Ensign May 2010 64

2 Russell M Nelson ldquoCelestial Marriagerdquo Ensign Nov 2008 93

3 Jeffrey R Holland ldquoWe Are All Enlistedrdquo Ensign Nov 2011 45

4 ldquoMessage to the Youth from The First Presi-dencyrdquo For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

5 John Bytheway ldquoWhat Do Kisses Meanrdquo New Era Oct 2004 38ndash41

Last but not least dating

academy graduates know how

to conclude a date on the right

note Nothing sours a great date

more than a bad ending

Herersquos how you can finish a

date with success

Tips

bull Express gratitude Be sincere

and to the point If there was something you especially

liked tell your date what

it was

bull Therersquos no reason for drag-

ging things on at this point

Yoursquove already spent plenty

of time together Avoid the

ldquodoorstep shufflerdquo When

people arenrsquot sure what to

say they tend to shuffle backand forth or move their feet

in place If you find yourself

ldquoshufflingrdquo in place itrsquos a

pretty good signal that you

need to say good-bye

bull Know and follow the

Churchrsquos counsel on kissing

and physical intimacy (You

might also want to read John

Bythewayrsquos article ldquoWhat Do

Kisses Meanrdquo5 at ldsorggo

kissesNE8)

Homework

Yes herersquos another opportunity for practicing Our family has spent several family

home evenings role-playing doorstep good-byes Itrsquos been both helpful and fun to

watch an older sibling coach the younger sibling with dorsquos and donrsquots

Most memorable was an older sister showing how she could turn a hug into a

handshake with the grace of a princess and the speed of a ninja You too can get

together with family members and role-play different scenarios that might happen on

a doorstep We guarantee itrsquoll be an academy night yoursquoll all remember

Gr983137du983137tio983150

If yoursquove studied all the

material worked on the tips done

the homework and talked through

the lessons with your parents and

family you too can become a

dating academy graduate

As you continue strengthening

these important skills yoursquoll find

support strength and power that

will bless your relationships both

now and in the future You will be

better prepared for happiness NE

Do Try This at HomeInterested in having a dating academy at

home Let your parents know therersquos an RDAarticle for them in this monthrsquos Ensign or atldsorggoRDA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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32 N e w E r a

S U N DA Y L E S S

O N S

This Monthrsquos Topic

Ma r r iage a nd

Fa m i l y

MARRIAGE IS WORTH ITldquoIt is so rewarding to bemarried Marriage is wonder-ful In time you begin to thinkalike and have the same ideasand impressions You havetimes when you are extremelyhappy times of testing andtimes of trial but the Lordguides you through all ofthose growth experiencestogetherrdquo

Elder Richard G Scott of the

Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo

Ensign May 2011 96

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 33

We love being marr ied and he

rersquos why

By Ben and Rachel Nielsen

Letrsquos face it girls (and boys) itrsquos nice to know that someone loves you

And when yoursquore married you have chances to share and receive love every

day When I was talking to my parents about the possibility of marrying

Ben my dad said ldquoWhomever you choose to marry I want him to fre-

quently and sincerely express his love for you like Elder Richard G Scott did

for his wiferdquo3 I listened to Dad

I decided to marry Ben and he has always made an effort to express

his love to me in small and big ways During my senior year of college I

worked for months to prepare apply and interview for a prestigious intern-ship And when I finally heard that I got the job I came home and saw a

vase full of flowers from my husband He knew how hard I had worked and

how much the internship meant to me At other times hersquoll hide my favorite

drink and a love note in the fridge before he heads out for a weekend Scout

camp And every day hersquoll do the dishes and make me laugh Ben is great at

expressing his love for me and that brings both of us great joy

During my mission in Brazil I grew to love soccer One thing that I lovemost about this sport is having teammates and learning how to work together

with my team Rachel is a fantastic teammate She helps me achieve my

goals joins me in making important decisions and is there for me when I

have trouble

When we were sealed in the temple we promised to ldquohelp one another as

equal partnersrdquo2 Rachel and I strive to support each other in everything we

do and itrsquos great to know that I always have a reliable teammate

After our first date we both

knew we wanted to go

on a second date Ben

wanted to go on

another date because Rachel was

friendly and fun to talk to Rachel

wanted to go on another date

because Ben was a gentleman

and was still smiling after all of

his well-laid plans fell through

After the second date plus manymore dates and prayers after

that we fell in love and decided

to get married in the Sacramento

California Temple

The wedding day was abso-

lutely perfect and we have loved

being married ever since The

world may see marriage differ-

ently but we know that ldquono other

relationship of any kind canbring as much joy generate as

much good or produce as much

personal refinementrdquo1 Marriage

is awesome and herersquos why

FROM BEN A T e a m m a t e

FROM RACHEL

E x p r e s s i o n s o f L o v e

WHY MARRIAGE IS

A w e s o m e

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34 N e w E r a

JOIN THE CONVERSATION

Things to Ponder for Sunday

bull What qualities and attitudes make for the strongest

and happiest marriages and families

bull What are you doing now that will help your future

marriage and family stay strong and happy

Things You Might Do

bull Share with some friends your goal of marrying and

having a family and tell them why

bull In church share why you are looking forward

to marriage and family and how you are pre-

paring for them

serving in the Church and inviting others to come unto

Christ As we work together to build the kingdom of God

we grow closer our love deepens and life is more fulfilling

Dating Rachel is so much fun In fact we make surethat we still frequently go on dates even as a married

couple After we first met we found that we enjoy many

of the same activities walking through parks attending

plays watching sporting events eating new and different

food listening to music and so much more I loved doing

these things before I met Rachel but theyrsquore even more

fun now that we get to share them together When yoursquore

married you have someone to enjoy life withmdashand that

makes life awesome

Before I met Ben I was nearing the age of missionary

service and had seriously considered serving a full-time

mission But then Ben entered my life and I knew that

Heavenly Father had a different plan for me

When Ben and I got engaged relatives who knew

about my thoughts to serve a mission asked me about my

choice and I would tell them ldquoI decided that I wanted topick my own missionary companionmdashand stay with him

for eternityrdquo

When yoursquore married you and your spouse have the

chance to participate in the work of salvation together

Ben and I have found great joy in building a Christ-

centered home studying and living the gospel together

Despite what the world may say marriage is awesome

and is worth making a priority When yoursquore married you

have a teammate you give and receive love you enjoy life

more fully and you have someone to build the kingdom

of God with All of that brings us great joy and because

we were sealed in the temple we can have this joy forever

If we keep our covenants we will be together for eternityand receive the crowning blessings of the priesthood We

ldquohave found in marriage the richest fulfillment of human

existencerdquo 4 NE

Ben and Rachel Nielsen live in Utah USA

NOTES

1 L Whitney Clayton ldquoMarriage Watch and Learnrdquo Ensign May 2013 83 2 ldquoThe Family A Proclamation to the Worldrdquo Ensign Nov 2010 129 3 See Richard G Scott ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo Ensign May

2011 96 4 James E Faust ldquoEnriching Your Marriagerdquo Ensign Apr 2007 6

FROM BEN M o r e E n jo y m e n t

FROM RACHEL A n E t e r n a l M is s i o n a r y C o m p a n io n

TAKE IT FROM US

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Your family can help unite the family of GodYou can all share the gospel in natural and pleasant ways

P H O T O I L L U S T R A T I O N B Y D A V I D S T O K E R

M O R M O N A D

(See M Russell Ballard ldquoPut Your Trust in the Lordrdquo Ensign Nov 2013 43)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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36 N e w E r a

By Alex Larsen

I always knew I wanted to be a mother but when I was grow-

ing up it wasnrsquot always on my mind When my fianceacute and I

were engaged one day I was talking with one of my college

professorsmdasha woman I greatly admiredmdashabout my engage-

ment She said something that brought my life choices into sharp

focus ldquoYou are wasting your talentrdquo she told me as she shook

her head She went on to say that someone as smart as I was

should not get married young She assumed I would have chil-

dren in my future and would be ldquothrowing awayrdquo my education

and chances of a stellar career on my future motherhood I could

tell by the way she looked at me that she thought I was making

a terrible and naiumlve mistake

Itrsquos been several years since that conversation and my hus-

band and I have two little girls Kate is three years old and is

my little sweetheart She moves through life at a leisurely pace

savoring all of the little details she notices Annabel is one yearold with bright blue eyes and a head of curls Shersquos exuberant

and determined Though I didnrsquot change my mind because of

what my professor said our discussion has stayed with me In

one way my professorrsquos predictions were correct I do not have

a prestigious working career But my professor got the most

important point wrong because I have wasted nothing

g i v i n

g u p e v e r y

t hi n g

but wh a t

I

g a i n ed

w as w o r t h so much m o r e

T h e wor l d t o l d me

I w ould

b e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 37

their spirits growing and developing I remember

the first time Kate pointed to a picture of the Savior and

said ldquoJesusrdquo I knew then that what I was doing was eter-

nally significant in the lives of my children

The world often tells us that lifersquos rewards come in

the form of status money or grand accomplishments

but I know therersquos great satisfaction even in the small

acts of changing diapers or wiping sticky fingers Every

little thing I do as a mother is part of helping to build the

kingdom of God by nurturing His children I always knew

I wanted children but it was not until I held my first baby

in my arms that I began to realize how much my heart

was capable of loving

The love I have for my daughters has helped me bet-

ter understand how much my Heavenly Father loves all

of His children When speaking of little children Jesustaught that ldquoof such is the kingdom of heavenrdquo (Matthew

1914) More than anything motherhood has helped me

to grow as a daughter of God because now I know what

a daughter of God looks like from the eyes of a parent

The world makes us think that a woman loses herself in

motherhoodmdashshe loses her body her free time and her

career But I have found myself in motherhood I feel

more beautiful and more valuable than ever before NE

Alex Larsen lives in California USA

I love the opportunity to stay home and care for my

young children because these are the most formative

years of their lives I have the opportunity to create a rich

home environment for my girls by reading and discussing

things with them as part of our everyday life Kate will

often astound me by remembering and commenting on

something wersquod read in a book several weeks before and

Annabel learns a new skill almost every day But as fun

and important as it is to watch them learn new

information and skills I feel the

most satisfied when I see

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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38 N e w E r a

One o f t h e g r e a t e s t ad v enture s o f y o u r l i f e w i l l b e y our rol e a n d c a l l i n g a s a f a t her

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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ROcksROcksROcks

NOTE

1 See Thomas S Monson ldquoWelcome to Conferencerdquo Ensign Nov 2012 4ndash5

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 39

DA D D A DD AD

By Chris Deaver

W

hen I was younger I loved spending time

with my dad He always knew the bestgames to play the best stories to tell at night

and the most interesting sports to try It was

like he was born to be a great dad

Fast-forward my life to when I married my sweetheart

Julia and then even further to the moment that our first

child Daniel was born I was filled with a rush of emo-

tions I was happy shocked amazed and a little scared

I felt totally inadequate to be a father and to have the

responsibility of teaching and being an example to my son

But I quickly realized that Irsquod been preparing all my life tobe a dad When I held my son in my arms for the first time

and looked down into his face I felt the Spirit touch my

heart and I realized that I was ready to try to be a great

dad just like my own dad was to me

When Daniel was very young he already had a great

sense of humor He learned to tell hilarious jokes that

would make my wife and me laugh He also often said

things that inspired us Shortly after hearing President

Thomas S Monson announce the change in age require-

ments for young men and young women preparingto serve missions1 we were driving in the car Daniel

announced that he would start preparing himself right

then at age six so he would have 12 years of preparation

Then he said with a smile ldquoDad can I change the song

from lsquoI Hope They Call Me on a Missionrsquo to lsquoI AM Going on

a Missionrsquordquo It was awesome

WHYbeing a

Three years after Daniel was born he was followed by his

brother Austin For me as a dad itrsquos been great to watch bothboys become best friends And Austin has been just as fun

as Daniel in his own way He enjoys building and destroying

block towers and one of his favorite activities is to fearlessly

wrestle me as if I stand no chance against his four-year-old

powers Of course I give in and let him winmdashso I guess I

reinforce his belief But itrsquos so much fun I know hersquoll be a

great wrestler but what I want most is for him to wrestle

ldquoagainst the rulers of the darkness of this worldrdquo and ldquoagainst

spiritual wickednessrdquo like it says in the scriptures (Ephesians

612) And I hope Irsquom helping to prepare him to do that We just recently had our third child a baby girl named

Faith During the delivery my wife was having some com-

plications and we were scared for our baby I gave Julia

a blessing Then she asked me to sing to her The Spirit

brought peace to both of us Soon baby Faith came safely

into the world It was a miracle and she definitely lived up

to her name Faithrsquos beautiful smile brightens my life I canrsquot

express in words how much she means to me

For any young man still wondering let me tell you You

were born to be a great dad The world may not agree butfatherhood is the best Someday yoursquoll find that your kids

inspire you too and that being a dad is the greatest adven-

ture of your life Yes itrsquos a duty and something you need to

take seriously but being a dad is unlike anything else NE

Chris Deaver lives in Florida USA

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40 N e w E r a

We always seem to be encouraged to read more

because well everyone knows that reading is a

good thing But not all books are worth reading and just

because sexual material is written about rather than pho-

tographed or video recorded doesnrsquot mean that itrsquos less

morally hazardous Making a common display of a sacred

intimacy thatrsquos intended to only be part of a marriage rela-

tionship is wrongmdashwhether in words or imagesIf something yoursquore reading contains explicit sexual

descriptions that imprint themselves on your mind and

arouse sexual feelings in the same way that looking at

pornographic images would then guess what Itrsquos pornog-

raphy Remember the counsel in For the Strength of Youth

ldquoChoose wisely when using media because whatever you

read listen to or look at has an effect on you Select only

media that uplifts yourdquo ([2011] 11) NE

T O T H E P O I N T

President Boyd K

Packer President of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoEach

of us must come to ourown personal testimony

of the Lord Jesus Christ

We then share that testi-

mony with our family and

othersrdquo1 It can sometimes

be easy to question the

depth of your testimony

I know looking at pornographic

pictures is wrong but whatabout reading books with

ldquoromanticrdquo scenes

If I donrsquot have a burning

desire to share thegospel does that mean I

donrsquot have a testimony

when you compare your-

self to people like Brigham

Young who once said ldquoI

wanted to thunder and

roar out the gospel to thenations It burned in my

bones like fire pent uprdquo2

So what if you donrsquot feel

fire in your bones

Hopefully your lack of

desire doesnrsquot come from

a lack of concern for your

fellowmen As your faith in

Jesus Christ grows so does

your love of all people a

love that is a mark of the

true followers of Christ (see

Moroni 748 John 1335)

Itrsquos likely however

that your hesitancy sim-

ply comes from fear and

anxiety about speaking toothers For many people

such feelings can be over-

whelming Even prophets

have had doubts about their

ability to speak to people

(see Exodus 410 Moses

631) They of course

had no reason to question

their testimoniesmdashand

neither should you if you

are studying the scriptures

pondering praying fasting

repenting and doing all the

other things that help bring

the Spirit into your life

If you feel you just

need a little extra cour-age to share the gos-

pel visit ldsorggo

shareNE8 for ideas NE

NOTES

1 Boyd K Packer ldquoThe Witnessrdquo Ensign May 2014 96

2 Teachings of Presidents ofthe Church Brigham Young (1997) viii

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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C O M E F O L L O W M E

Family

983152983137tter983150 of

President Boyd K PackerPresident of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

April 2014 general conference

The ultimate end

of all activity in

the Church is that

a man and his wife

and their childrencan be happy

at home

The FamilyYoursquoll be studying about the family in your Sunday classes

this month As you study and discuss family you may pon-der these questions Why do Church leaders emphasize

family so much What is the place of family in Heavenly

Fatherrsquos plan How does family help make us happy

To find some answers to these questions see the

family proclamation near the back of your Personal

Progress or Duty to God booklet or online at ldsorg

gofamilyNE8 Yoursquoll also find teachings about

family relationships in general conference talks at

conferenceldsorg

Give yourself an easy reminder to prepare for your

Sunday lessons on the family Just place these cards

in your scriptures locker or bedroom You can also

download or share them online at ldsorggocardsNE8 B A C K G R O U N D T E X T U R E

B Y I S T O C K P H O T O T H I N K S T O C K

We 983150eed We 983150eed

MOR E

983155tre983150983143the983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

RELATIONSHIPS

983153u983137lity 983153u983137lity TIME amp EFFORT INTO

TO PUT

983155re983150983143te983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4452

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4552

T H E E X T R A S M I L E

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 43

I dont like to pack so I rsquo m just wearing all my stuff

JON CLARK

W h a t m a k e s y o

u t h i n k

D a d rsquo s t a l k i n g t o

t h e

p r o p h e t

B ecaus e h e s ai d h e w as on a conf er ence cal l

RYAN STOKER

F r o m n o w o n j u s t t a k e

a p i c t u r e o f t h e t o o t h a n

d

u p l o a d i t t o m y F a c e b o o k

p a g e

a n d t h e n I rsquo l l s e n d y o u t h e

m o n e y t h r o u g h P a y P a l

RANDY GLASBERGEN

[Gasp] He he made h is bed this morning

And I didnrsquo t even ask

VAL CHADWICK BAGLEY

Who says there arenrsquo t modern m iracles

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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44 N e w E r a

ldquoMymom works

Since you donrsquot see your mom often make sure that

the time you do have together is used well You

could talk to your mom about how to do this She

wants a good relationship with you too and will

help you work on it Try asking her what she would

appreciate coming home to a clean house doing an activity

together just talking with you As you regularly do activities your mom appreciates your relationship will improve

Of course you could plan some fun activities to do together

but any meaningful time togethermdashsuch as washing the dishes

or reading the scripturesmdashcan be a great way to build your

relationship

Also plan time for communication Understanding one

another is a key ingredient in good relationships One thing

to discuss is how your momrsquos work schedule will affect your

relationship with her You can avoid misunderstandings if you

talk about your expectations as well as your momrsquosPrayer will help Families are important to Heavenly Father

so He can inspire you to know how to improve your relation-

ship with your mom Donrsquot ignore a prompting to do something

that seems small (see Alma 376) A hug and a smile for exam-

ple can make a big difference NE

Write a Note

Even if you have very

little time together you

can still express your

love to your mother

Write her thoughtful secret notes As

she reads them at work she will think

of you Do as much as you can for

her Think about her more often and

pray for her Ask the Lord to inspire

you and prompt you regarding how

you can improve your relationship Irinka E 20 Odessa Ukraine

Seek to Understand Her

Try to understand her situation

because she works for your benefit

You can begin by helping with things

at home like cleaning the house

helping your siblings and cooking

You also can share scriptures with

your mom pray together and doactivities that you like to do together

Morony M 18 Chihuahua Mexico

Have a Special Sunday

On some Sundays we

have a special lunch

or dinner with a new

dessert we talk and at

the end we sing hymns This brings

us together and helps us be betterfriends

Rebeca N 12 Satildeo Paulo Brazil

Try an Experiment

We arrange time to be together hav-

ing family home evening playing

games going to the beach having

lunch together All of this helps to

Q U E S T I O N S amp A N S W E R S

all day Howcan I improve our

relationshiprdquo

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4752

keep the flame of a good relationship

alive When we disagree we avoid

criticizing I know that sometimes I

ask not to do housework but this

contributes to disharmony in the

home Since I began this experiment

mdashcomplaining less lowering my

voice helping more with housework

and talking more with my mothermdash

a sweet spirit has developed in our

home and we cooperate more

Glenda C 18 Bahia Brazil

Help at Home

Do some extra chores

around the house Your

mom has been work-

ing all day If she has

less work to do when she gets home

shersquoll probably be happier and have

more time to talk and do things with

you While you are talking you canask about her day at work It will

show her that you care and it will

open doors for other topics of discus-

sion allowing you to grow closer

Heather B 18 Oregon USA

Find Something You BothLike to Do

My mumrsquos relationship with me

skyrocketed when I said ldquoI want tospend more time with you but I donrsquot

know what to do or when to do itrdquo

Playing board games happens to be

our favorite pastime So we set aside

a time together to play laugh and

make memories When you are open

with your parents eventually they

become your best companions You

UPCOMING QUESTION

ldquoMy parents just

got divorced Irsquom angry that they

have broken up our

family How doI forgive themrdquo

Send your answer and photo by

September 15 2014

Go to neweraldsorg click ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo enter your LDS Accountand then select ldquoNew Erardquo

Responses may be edited for length

or clarity

Responses are intended for help and per-

spective not as official pronouncements ofChurch doctrine

will be able to talk to them about

anything and you will be sure of an

honest answer That is the sign of a

mature relationship

Ephraim S 15 New South Wales Australia

Read Scriptures Together

Both of you could set a goal to read

together every day even just five

minutes from the Book of Mormon

or any other Church book It will

strengthen your relationship andnourish you with the word of God

so you can be ready to face each day

Remember also to pray to God and

ask for His help I know He hears you

and loves you

Laura M 19 Coacuterdoba Argentina

LEARN FROM

YOUR MOTHER

ldquoPlease look to yourfaithful mothers fora pattern to followModel yourselves

after them not after celebritieswhose standards are not the Lordrsquosstandards and whose values maynot reflect an eternal perspectiveLook to your mother Learn fromher strengths her courage andher faithfulness Listen to her She

may not be a whiz at texting shemay not even have a Facebookpage But when it comes to mat-ters of the heart and the thingsof the Lord she has a wealth ofknowledgerdquo

Elder M Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles ldquoMothers and Daughtersrdquo

Ensign May 2010 19

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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46 N e w E r a

MISERABLE TOTHE END OFTHE STREET

For one family home evening my

dad wanted to take advantage

of a pause in the rainy weather

to go on a walk around the neighbor-

hood I grumbled and complained

that it was too wet and muddy to

go walking I used the excuse that

I had a ballet recital that week and

didnrsquot want to sprain an ankle but

my dad didnrsquot buy it He insisted thatit was going to be the activity for the

evening I murmured a bit more about

the unfairness and my recital but we

left on the walk anyway

As I glumly stomped outside for

the walk with my family I was deter-

mined not to smile or be happy I

succeeded in feeling miserable until

I N S T A N T M E S S A G E S

we reached the end of the street Then

we turned the corner and I saw in full

force naturersquos beauty and wonder

Before me was a gorgeous sunset

and opposite it was a rainbow arching

above our neighborhood rooftops

I immediately forgot all about being

miserable and looked around in awe

On the way home I said a prayer of

gratitude thanking God for the beautyof His creations I later thanked my

dad for choosing the activity and for

allowing us to enjoy nature for that

family home evening

Jennie H North Carolina USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4952

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 47

STANDARDS AND FRIENDS

Since Irsquove been in school Irsquove had friends who havenrsquot understood the

moral standards of our religion At first it was difficult but over time

my friends have become used to the idea of my being morally clean I

made a goal in my life to be clean and pure and itrsquos worked out well both

for me and for those who used to criticize me Over time respect peace and

joy have become a part of our loving circle of friends

Vitoacuteria M Brazil

A DIFFICULT DECISION

FORGIVINGMY FRIENDS

As the only member of the

Church in my peer group

Irsquove experienced some

instances when my friends have

offended me Sometimes they judge

and criticize my religion I feel so

alone yet Irsquom thankful I know the

standards of the Church

If my friends offend me I try to

humble myself and avoid contention

because I know contention is evil When they start discussing some mat-

ters about the Church I just testify of

my belief in the gospel

I always forgive my friends with or

without their apology Forgiving is not

just about saying ldquoApology acceptedrdquo

or ldquoItrsquos OKrdquo because forgiveness has

a deep meaning Jesus Christ atoned

for our sins so that Heavenly Father

can forgive usEven though my friends donrsquot

understand my faith now I know that

I can be Godrsquos instrument to teach

them the gospel I am helping them

and at the same time I am helping

myself to grow spiritually and prepare

to serve a mission

Joshua V Philippines

As volleyball tryouts approached for my senior year in high

school I couldnrsquot believe the thought that was running through

my head I wasnrsquot supposed to play volleyball Irsquod played vol-

leyball since seventh grademdashwhy should this year be any different

Not seeing the sense in quitting I ignored the feeling and continued

to participate in summer volleyball events After a while the feeling

came back so I decided that if I really wasnrsquot supposed to be on the

team my coach would just cut me during tryouts

Then one night at the gym I couldnrsquot focus on the game at all I felt

terrible and restless inside I came home frustrated with my team and

with myself I sat next to my mom and sister and cried I told them

how confused I was and my mom told me to pray and ask Heavenly

Father what He wanted me to do I went up to my room and began to

pray I told Heavenly Father how I felt then I asked Him to help mefeel peace if I was not supposed to continue playing volleyball I felt

His peace in my heart and knew that I needed to quit

Irsquom still not sure all the reasons why that was the right

decision but I know that itrsquos what the Lord

wanted me to do and thatrsquos a good

enough reason for me

The next morning I told my

coach and my teammates that

I wasnrsquot going to be playing

Even though it was incrediblyhard I knew I was doing

the right thing

Klaire B Arizona USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5052

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5152

you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5252

WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 1552

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 13

3 Nephi 1815 20ndash21Jesus Christ taught the Nephites the importance of prayer

Editorrsquos note This page is not meant to be a com-

prehensive explanation of the selected seminary

scripture mastery verses only a starting point for

your own study

983148983141983155983156 983161983141 983138983141 983156983141983149983152983156983141983140

This is one of many scriptures

that teach how praying can help

us escape Satanrsquos temptations (see

also DampC 105 3112 and 6139)

Here are some other blessings thescriptures promise when you obey

the command to pray always What

blessings have you received

bull You will be worthy to stand in the

presence of God (see Luke 2136)

bull The Lord will consecrate your

efforts (see 2 Nephi 329)

bull The Spirit will be poured upon

you (see DampC 1938)

bull You will be given strength toendure (see DampC 88126)

bull Things will work out for your

good (see DampC 9024)

983152983154983137983161 983137983148983159983137983161983155

ldquoWe should be alone

with our Heavenly

Father at least two

or three times each

daymdashlsquomorning mid-day and eve-ningrsquo as the scripture indicates (Alma

3421) In addition we are told to

pray always (See 2 Ne 329 DampC

88126) This means that our hearts

should be full drawn out in prayer

unto our Heavenly Father continually

(See Alma 3427)rdquo

President Ezra Taft Benson (1899ndash1994) ldquoPray

Alwaysrdquo Ensign Feb 1990 2

L I N E U P O N L I N E

983159983144983137983156983155983151983141983158983141983154 983161983141 983155983144983137983148983148 983137983155983147

In the scriptures the Lord repeatedly

promises to answer our prayers if we

will but ask What can you learn from

these scriptures about how to ask and

receive answers What other scriptures

can you find that teach about this

bull James 15ndash6

bull 1 Nephi 1511

bull Enos 12ndash15

bull Mormon 921

bull DampC 810

bull DampC 4630ndash32

983159983144983145983139983144 983145983155 983154983145983143983144983156

ldquoHere the Savior

reminds us that faith

no matter how strong

it is cannot produce

a result contrary to the will of him

whose power it is The exercise of

faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is always

subject to the order of heaven to

the goodness and will and wisdom

and timing of the Lord That is why we cannot have true faith in the

Lord without also having complete

trust in the Lordrsquos will and in the

Lordrsquos timingrdquo

Elder Dallin H Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles ldquo lsquoFaith in the Lord Jesus Christrsquo rdquo

Ensign May 1994 100

983137983148983159983137983161983155 983145983150 983149983161 983150983137983149983141

Praying in Christrsquos name means

more than just ending our prayers

in the name of Jesus Christ The

Bible Dictionary teaches ldquoWe pray

in Christrsquos name when our mind isthe mind of Christ and our wishes

the wishes of Christmdashwhen His

words abide in us (John 157) We

then ask for things it is possible for

God to grant Many prayers remain

unanswered because they are not

in Christrsquos name at all they in no

way represent His mind but spring

out of the selfishness of manrsquos

heartrdquo (ldquoPrayerrdquo)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 1652

By ElderJoseacute L Alonso

Of the Seventy

LINKED PRAYERS COUNSELING WITH THE LORD

ldquoThere may be things in our character in our behavior or concerningour spiritual growth about which we need to counsel with HeavenlyFather in morning prayer After expressing appropriate thanks for

blessings received we plead for understanding direction and helpto do the things we cannot do in our own strength alone

ldquoAt the end of our day we kneel again and report back to our Father We reviewthe events of the day and express heartfelt thanks for the blessings and the helpwe received We repent and with the assistance of the Spirit of the Lord identifyways we can do and become better tomorrow Thus our evening prayer buildsupon and is a continuation of our morning prayer And our evening prayer also is apreparation for meaningful morning prayerrdquo

Elder David A Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles ldquoPray Alwaysrdquo Ensign Nov 2008 41ndash42

14 N e w E r a

When I was 15 I went

to live with my father

while I finished high

school He lived and

worked in another city and had joined

the Church I didnrsquot know he was

a member but I saw that he acted

differently He acted with love and

kindness and was interested in myconcerns and needs

The first night I arrived I was

so hungry We sat down for dinner

and I started to eat but my father

said ldquoWait a minute We need to

prayrdquo I said ldquoWe need to what rdquo I

didnrsquot even know what the word

pray meant My father explained

that he was going to thank God our

Heavenly Father for the food we

had received from Him and then

we could eat My father prayed

and in his prayer he mentioned myname and asked for God to bless

me I felt something wonderful That

was the first time I felt the Spirit so

strongly in my life

My father taught me to pray to

Heavenly Father on my own Later

when the missionaries taught me

about Joseph Smithrsquos prayer I imme-

diately felt that it was possible for the

Lord to answer the prayer of a young

man The missionaries asked me to

read the Book of Mormon and to pray

to know if Jesus is the Christ if JosephSmith was a prophet and if the Book

of Mormon is true

That night I read the story in

3 Nephi 11 of when Jesus visits the

Nephites I was in a private place

so I got down on my knees and I

prayed Even though I was only 15 I

had faith that the Lord would answer

my prayer I received an impression

in my mind as clear as anything Ihad ever seen that Jesus is the Christ

Joseph Smith was a prophet and

the Book of Mormon is true I felt

like Joseph Smith after that prayer

I was so happy to truly know that

Heavenly Father answers prayers

from young people

Irsquod Never PRAYED BEFORE

i983150 Th983137t W983137y

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 15

WHAT KEPT ME STRONG

D983137ily P983137yer

As a teenager in an area with-

out a lot of Church members

I found that daily prayer was one

of the most important things that

helped me stay spiritually strong

I made sure to pray every day and

developed a pattern that helped

memdashmorning and evening prayers

When I heard

my father prayfor the rst timel felt something

wonderful

MORNING PRAYERS

Every morning I would share with

the Lord

bull My plans for the day

bull What I wanted to do

bull What I thought the Lord

wanted me to do

I would present my plans to

God and then ask for the Lordrsquos

help in accomplishing them

EVENING PRAYERS

Every evening I would

bull Report on how my day went

and if I had accomplished the

things I had set out to do

bull Share things that had been

difficult for me

bull Share things that I had learned

from people or through the

Spirit that dayThe more I prayed the more

I learned to understand and

receive impressions from the

Holy Ghost These impressions

helped me gain more strength

to follow the direction of the

Lord NE

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 1852

16 N e w E r a

With canteen in hand I was prepared for my

second 50-mile hike and campout in the

Uinta Mountains I was about as well pre-

pared as a 14-year-old could be My equip-

ment was all set to go my boots were sturdy and my pack

was full of all the essentials

The day of the hike arrived and our

leaders reminded our group of young men

that the mountains could be very danger-

ous Hikers and campers were often lost

in the rugged hills and on the numerous

trails We were warned not to wander

away from the path Our leadersmdashmy

father includedmdashall seemed concerned

for our safety and were anxious to keep

us from straying off of our chosen pathBeing one of the stronger hikers and

a leader in the group I soon found myself

and three other boys leading the way

Sometimes we waited for our group at the

forks in the trail to make sure we followed

the correct path and would not become lost

We hiked for hours laughing and joking all the way We

were having a great time Suddenly we heard frantic calls

and the sounds of running We knew something must have

gone wrong We wondered if maybe some of the grouphad become lost I was concerned for the friends Irsquod left

behind with the leaders Something bad must have happened

We stopped to listen so we could hear what the distant

voices were yelling We heard our names More specifically

I heard my name being called I recognized my fatherrsquos

voice We called back and heard their heavy footsteps coming

in our direction

Something bad had happened We learned that

four of the boys in our group had strayed from

the correct path and had become lost It was us

We were the ones who were lost My father was

thankful to have finally found us and together we

began the hike back to the correct trail

In my head I retraced my footsteps I couldnrsquot

figure out how Irsquod become lost I felt like I was

still on the original path Irsquod been so sure We

retraced our steps and my father showed us aturn we had missed It was just a small path with

a little hidden sign marking the correct way

We had hiked two miles off the right trail

We were thankful wersquod been found

before dark For the rest of the hike

we stayed close to our leaders and the rest of the

group and were never in danger again

Sometimes our overconfidence as youth

gives us an unrealistic sense of independence

We push on without consulting our parentsor leaders We fail to ask for advice We feel

By Duncan Anderson

Mile Hike

The

We stoppedto listen so we

could hear whatthe distant voices

were yellingWe heard ournames We

called back andheard their heavyfootsteps comingin our direction

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 1952

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 17

certain wersquore headed in a direction leading to the right

destination We laugh and joke and enjoy the path until itrsquos

too late too dark and wersquore lost

When it comes to choosing the right trails in life our

Heavenly Father has provided tools to guide us and keep us

on the path that leads to Him We have the scriptures prayer

and revelation our parents guidelines like For the Strength

of Youth and our Church leaders to guide us through the

countless options life offers

When we do stray off the path itrsquos often our loving parents

and dedicated leaders who come to the rescue They can

guide us back to the correct way and show us where we

went wrong Through repentance we can correct those

wrongs and start fresh on the right path headed toward the

destination that will give us eternal happiness and a life in the

presence of our Heavenly Father NE

Duncan Anderson lives in Utah USA

CHOOSING RIGHT PATHS

ldquoI plead with you to make a determi-nation right here right now notto deviate from the path which willlead to our goal eternal life with ourFather in Heaven Along that straight

and true path there are other goals missionaryservice temple marriage Church activity scripturestudy prayer temple work There are countless wor-thy goals to reach as we travel through life Neededis our commitment to reach themrdquo

President Thomas S Monson ldquoThe Three Rs of Choicerdquo

Ensign Nov 2010 68

NEED ADVICE

Is there anything yoursquod like advice on Donrsquot be afraid to ask your

parents or Church leaders Remember they are there to help you

no matter what yoursquod like to talk about

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2052

One of the things we agree

to do as part of the bap-

tismal covenant is ldquoto

stand as witnesses of

God at all times and in all things and in

all places that [we] may be inrdquo (Mosiah

189) And incidentally we renew this

covenant every week when we partake

of the sacramentIn the April 2014 general conference

several speakers reminded us that there

will be times when standing as a witness

of God will mean having to face oppo-

sition criticism and ridicule So what

should you do when yoursquore required

to take the uncomfortable uncool or

unpopular step of defending your beliefs

By David A Edwards

Church Magazines

Be brave and humble firm and gentle

all at the same time With the Lordrsquos

help itrsquos not as hard as it sounds

18 N e w E r a

of Defe983150di983150983143Your Beliefs

Dorsquos 983137983150d

Donrsquots

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2152

you should rely on the Spiritto guide your defense of your

faith Bear testimony by the

Spirit Thatrsquos the Lordrsquos way

(See also DampC 1005ndash8)

The point here is not that

you should avoid any discus-

sion in which people have dif-

fering points of view Rather it

has to do with your intent as

well as the emotions involved

We should seek understand-

ing and try to persuade withmeekess not just score points

and prove wersquore right and

someone else is wrong A

discussion where people are

getting really worked up and

angry is one you should either

try to soften or simply avoid

Heavenly Father has given

you the gift of the Holy Ghost

and you should take advan-

tage of this gift This doesnrsquot

mean reason and logic canrsquot

be inspired or confirmed by

the Spirit it just means that

Elder W Craig Zwick of

the Seventy has explained

this scripture this way ldquoA lsquosoft

answerrsquo consists of a reasoned

responsemdashdisciplined words

from a humble heart It does

not mean we never speak

directly or that we compro-

mise doctrinal truth Words

that may be firm in infor-

mation can be soft in spiritrdquo

(ldquoWhat Are You Thinkingrdquo

Ensign May 2014 42)

ldquoA SOFT ANSWER TURNETH AWAY

wr983137thBUT

GRIEVOUS WORDS stir u983152 983137983150983143errdquo

(Proverbs 151)

ldquoBeholdI send you forthas sheep in the

midst of wolves be ye therefore wise as serpents

and h983137r983149less as dovesrdquo

(Matthew 1016)

The Savior doesnrsquot want

you to be ignorant or naiumlve

but He also doesnrsquot want you

to attack anyone Knowing

what goes on in the world

doesnrsquot mean we have to

use its tactics

ldquoCONTEND AGAINST

NO CHURCHrdquo (DampC 1820)

There is no need to

criticize other churches

Positive statements of your

beliefs rather than negative

statements about others will

be most effective As the

Prophet Joseph Smith said

ldquoWe donrsquot ask any people

to throw away any good

they have got we only ask

them to come and get morerdquo

(Teachings of Presidents

of the Church Joseph

Smith [2007] 155)

ldquoAND THOUSHALT DECLARE

983143l983137d tidi983150983143s ldquoAND THOU SHALTDO IT WITH 983137ll hu983149ilityTRUSTING IN ME 983154evili983150983143 983150ot

AGAINST REVILERSrdquo

(DampC 1929ndash30)

The tidings you declare

are glad Remember that

and make sure your face and

your voice show it too Also

the word revile here means

to hurl abusive or insulting

language at a person So if

ldquoFOR I AM

NOT ASHAMED

OF THE GOSPEL OF CHRISTrdquo

(Romans 116)

As President Thomas S

Monson has said ldquoWe will all

face fear experience ridiculeand meet opposition Let

usmdashall of usmdashhave the courage

to defy the consensus the

courage to stand for prin-

ciple Courage not com-

promise brings the smile of

Godrsquos approvalrdquo (ldquoBe Strong

and of a Good Couragerdquo

Ensign May 2014 69)

The scriptures give you some basic principles for standing up for your faith including the following

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 19

ldquoWe s983152e983137k

NOT IN THE WORDS which 983149983137983150rsquos

WISDOM TEACH ETH

but which THE HOLY GHOST

TEACHETHrdquo

(1 Corinthians 213)

ldquoHE THATHATH THE

SPIRIT OF CONTENTIONIS NOT OF ME

BUT ISOF THE DEVIL

WHO IS THE FATHER OFCONTENTION AND

HE STIRRETH UPTHE HEARTS

OF MEN

TO CONTEND WITH ANGER

ONE WITH ANOTHERrdquo(3 Nephi 1129)

HERErsquoS SOME ADVICE FROM THE SCRIPTURES

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2252

How Do You Defend Do you have experi-ence in defending yourbeliefs Or do you haveideas to add to theselists Go to ldsorggodefendNE8 and share

Finding Courage

Read more on this topic atldsorggocourageNE8

someonersquos doing that to you

donrsquot retaliate and do the

same thing back to them The

Apostle Peter taught that the

Savior Himself gave the exam-

ple you should follow in thisregard (see 1 Peter 223)

ldquoLOVE YOUR ENEMIESbless them

that curse you

DO GOOD TO T HEMTHAT HATE YOU

and pray for

them which

DESPITEFULLY USE YOUAND PERSECUTE YOUrdquo

(Matthew 544)ldquoSEE THAT YE ARE NOT lifted u983152 u983150to

983152ride ye983137 SEE THAT YE DO

NOT BOAST IN YOUR

OWN WISDOM

983150or of your 983149uch stre983150983143thldquoUSE BOLDNESS

BUT NOT

OVERBEARANCErdquo (Alma 3811ndash12)

Here the word tenets

refers to opinions or teachings

that go beyond the basics So

the Lord is saying to stick to

the basic message of the gos-

pel when yoursquore declaring Hisglad tidings This also applies

to defending your faith

You donrsquot need to stray into

detailed discussions about

every little thing related to the

Church As Elder Richard G

Scott of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles has said

ldquoKeep your sharing of the

gospel simple rdquo (ldquo lsquoI HaveGiven You an Examplerdquo

Ensign May 2014 34)

ldquoEveryone independent

of his or her decisions and

beliefs deserves our kind-

ness and considerationrdquo said

Elder Neil L Andersen of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles ldquoThe Savior

taught us to love not only

our friends but also those

who disagree with usmdashand

even those who repudiate

usrdquo (ldquoSpiritual Whirlwindsrdquo

Ensign May 2014 20)

Again be humble Itrsquos not

about you or how smart and

capable you are Also you can

be bold without making over-

blown statements or being

a verbal or intellectual bully

As Elder Jeffrey R Holland

of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoYou willone day find yourself called

upon to defend your faith

Such moments will require

both courage and courtesy

on your partrdquo (ldquoThe Costmdashand

Blessingsmdashof Discipleshiprdquo

Ensign May 2014 6)

ldquoA983150d of te983150ets thou sh983137lt 983150ot t983137lk but thou shalt

declare repentance andfaith on the Savior and 983154e983149issio983150 of si983150sby baptism and by fire

yea even the Holy Ghostrdquo(DampC 1931)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2352

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2452

22 N e w E r a

I received my first two-wheel bicycle

when I was eight years old With

the help of my older brother and

father I began the rather scary pro-

cess of figuring out how to ride it The other kids in the neighborhood

made it look so easy and natural as

they zoomed up and down the street

on their bikes I perched on the bike

seatmdashwhich seemed to be at least

10 feet (3 m) above the groundmdashand

realized there was absolutely noth-

ing to keep me from falling over and

proving that the law of gravity was

alive and well As I tried riding I learned quickly

that if I wanted to stay balanced I had

to keep pedaling When I first sat on

the seat speed was the last thing I

wanted to add to the already daunting

equation But I very soon understood

the wisdom and the physics involved

in moving forward As long as I kept

pedaling I could stay upright and

avoid the rough concrete just waiting

to take the skin off my arms and legs

Soon I was zipping around the neigh-

borhood with my friends

Defy Gr983137vity Defy Gr983137vity

of the First Presidency as outlined

in that booklet our lives will be bal-

anced and steady We will be led

where we want to go

We need to keep moving forwardto avoid falling To do that we should

consistently and faithfully do certain

actions

bull Pray morning and night

bull Study the scriptures daily

bull Attend Church meetings and par-

take of the sacrament worthily

bull Serve those around us

bull Be worthy to attend the temple

All of these actions keep us moving

forward in the right direction

Thatrsquos why reading and being famil-

iar with the standards described in For

the Strength of Youth will help ensure

we are making choices consistent with

Godrsquos standards Living these princi-

ples and keeping the commandments

F O R T H E S T R E N G T H O F Y O U T H

By Bonnie LOscarson

Young WomenGeneral President

As you keep moving forward you can stay upright even

when outside forces try to pull you down

Just as those who keep

pedaling a bike can stay

upright despite gravityrsquos

influence those who are

guided by the Holy Spirit in

all they do can withstand

the influence of theadversary

So it is with living the gospel and

the standards in For the Strength of

Youth It takes faith to believe that if

we consistently follow the counsel

GO FORWARD WITH FAITH

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2552

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 23

invite the Holy Ghost to be our con-

stant companion Just as those who

keep pedaling a bike can stay upright

despite gravityrsquos influence those who

are guided by the Holy Spirit in allthey do can withstand the influence of

the adversary

What are the destinations you have

in mind as you pedal forward For all

young men of the Aaronic Priesthood

preparing now for a full-time mission

is important in forward growth For

all youth being prepared to go to the

temple and receive the endowment by

making and keeping sacred covenantsshould also be a primary goal

As the message from the First

Presidency at the beginning of For the

Strength of Youth says ldquoIn all that you

do stay focused on the temple In the

temple you will receive the greatest

of all the Lordrsquos blessings including

marriage for time and all eternityrdquo1

Receiving the covenant of eternal

marriage in the house of the Lord and

becoming righteous husbands wives

fathers and mothers may seem far

down the road but the time to beginpreparing is now All of these things

lead to the most glorious and grand

destination of allmdasheternal life with

our Heavenly Father

One of my favorite scriptures

sums up what we need to do in order

to keep moving toward our goals

ldquoWherefore ye must press forward

with a steadfastness in Christ hav-

ing a perfect brightness of hopeand a love of God and of all men

Wherefore if ye shall press forward

feasting upon the word of Christ and

endure to the end behold thus saith

the Father Ye shall have eternal liferdquo

(2 Nephi 3120)

Just as I learned as an eight-year-

old girl that I needed to keep pedaling

and moving forward in order to defy

gravity and keep my balance on my

bicycle it is important for all of us to

keep moving forward with faith trust-

ing in the counsel of living prophetsand a loving Heavenly Father to keep

us from falling Some of our destina-

tions are just down the road while

others will take a lifetime of faithful

living to achieve The promises of

what lies at the end of the road if we

are faithful are certain and glorious

and well worth the ride NE

NOTE

1 For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

Learn MoreSee whatrsquos next in your covenant path

at ldsorggocovenantNE8

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2652

24 N e w E r a

BOA R D

GA M E S

B y Da vid Chris tensen

My chance to play le f t

a lasting impact but it

wasnrsquot what Irsquod e xpected

L o s i n

g s o

q u i c k

l y w

a s b

a d e

n o u

g h

b

u t t o

m a k

e m

a t t e r s

w o r s e

t h

e o t h

e r g

u y

s s t a r t e

d t o

m a k

e

f u n

o f

m e

I

t r i e d

t o c o

n t i n

u e

p l a y i n g

e v e

n t h

o u

g h

t h e y

w e r

e b

e i n

g m

e a n

b

u t i t

w a s h

a r d t o h o

l d b

a c k m y t e

a r s

o f f r u s t

r a t i o n

U

n f o

r t u n a t e l y

o n e t e

a r t r i c k l e

d d

o w

n m y

c h e e

k b

e f o

r e I

c o u

l d w i p

e i t

a w a y M

y b

r o t h

e r

s a w i t

a n d

t e a s e

d m

e t o

o

I c o

u l d

n rsquo t

t a k e i t

a n y

m o r e

a n d

r a n t o

m y

r o o m

I g a v e m y s e l

f a q u i c k p i n

c h

t o m a k e s u r

e I w a s n rsquo

t d r e a m i n g

a n d t h e

n I v o i c e d

a t i m i d ldquo Y e

a h

s u r e rdquo I s t

i l l c o u l d

n rsquo t b e l i e

v e t h a t

m y b r o t h e

r h a d i n v

i t e d m e t o

p l a y a g a m e w i t h

t h e ldquo b i g k i

d s rdquo

A f t e r a l l

I rsquo d b e e n t o l d f o r t h

r e e

y e a r s t h a

t I w a s s t i l l

t o o y o u

n g

t o p l a y m o r e d i f fi

c u l t b o a

r d

g a m e s w i t h m y b r o

t h e r a n d

h i s f r i e n d s

A N D B R O

T H

E R S

I

felt the hot tears of anger slowly slide

down my face I wiped them away with

my hand but I could still feel the

slightly salty taste on my lips assobs of anguish began to pour out

I just wanted to hang out with my

brother Why couldnrsquot he be my

friend too

J u s t a f e w

h o u r s

b e f o

r e I h a d

s t a r e d a t

m y o

l d e r b

r o t h

e r S t e v e

i n c o

m p

l e t e s u r p

r i s e

w a i t i n

g f o r h

i m t o

t e

l l

m e t h

a t h e w

a s o n

l y

j o k i n g ldquo W

e l l d o y o

u

w a n

t t o p

l a y rdquo S t e v e

a s k e d i m p

a

t i e n t l y

I w

e n t i n t o t h e

r o o m w h

e r e t h e

o l d e r b o y s

w e r e

s e t t i n g u p

t h e b o a r d

g a m e A s t h e

g a m e s t a r t e d

w i t h

e v e r y o n e s t r a t e g i c a l l y

p l a c i n g

t h e i r g a m

e

p i e c e s

I f e l t l i k e

I w

a s d r e a

m i n g F o r

t h e fi r s t t i m

e

I f e l t e q u a l t o

m y b r o t h e r mdash

n o t l i k e I

w a s j u s t h i s

t a g a l o n g

T h e d r e a m

e n d e d q u i c k

l y h o w e v e r

T h e

g a m e w

a s t o u g h

a n d m y i n

e x p e r i e n c e

a n d l a c k

o f k n o w l e d g e

b e c

a m e

p a i n f u l l y o b v i o u s

a s t h e o t

h e r

p l a y e r s q u i c k l y

a n d

s o u n d l y d e f e a t e d

m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2852

26 N e w E r a

Le983137r983150i983150983143 the i983150s 983137983150d outs of d983137ti983150983143 c983137983150 be h983137rd Let this course tur983150 you

i983150to 983137 d983137ti983150983143 983152ro

By Matthew ORichardson

Served as Second

Counselor in theSunday SchoolGeneral Presidencyfrom 2009 to 2014

hile speaking to youth about how to prepare for a celestial marriage

President Thomas S Monson emphasized that ldquoproper dating is a part

of preparation for marriagerdquo 1 Have you thought much about happy

relationships Elder Russell M Nelson of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said a ldquocelestial marriage brings greater possibilities for happiness than

does any other relationshiprdquo2

When I was serving as bishop in a young single adult ward I worried about those

who approached dating with very little purpose understanding or direction This

caused me to wonder if my own children would be any different when their time came

My wife and I decided to help our children prepare for ldquoproper datingrdquo and happy rela-tionships by creating the Richardson Dating Academy or RDA as our children call it

It wasnrsquot long after we started the RDA that friends of our children wanted to partici-

pate and even become RDA graduates So how about you Are you ready to become a

dating academy graduate yourself Class is in session

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 27

Lesso983150 1 ur983152oses 983137983150d St983137983150d983137rds of D983137ti983150983143

Lesso983150 2 W983137tch 983137983150d Le983137r983150

Homework

As you know ldquodatingrdquo means different things to differ-

ent people Your first assignment is to figure out just what

a ldquodaterdquo is according to Church standards Can you explain

the purposes of dating and the specific dating standards and

guidelines set by the Church Or do you know when itrsquosmost appropriate to be involved in dating and steady dating

(having a boyfriend or girlfriend)

You can find answers to these questions in the ldquoDatingrdquo

section of For the Strength of Youth The First Presidency

reminds us why knowing and understanding these stan-

dards are so important They promise ldquoThe standards in this

Elder Jeffrey R Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles once explained that most athletic contests have ldquolines

drawn on the floor or the field within which every participant

must stay in order to competerdquo3 Success depends on how

well a competitor knows and stays within the set boundaries

Likewise itrsquos important to know the ldquodating linesrdquo or the pur-

poses and standards of dating as taught by Church leaders

One of the most com-

mon ways people learn

is by watching others

Dating is no different

In the dating academy

we spend time observ-

ing others in dating

situations In our family

we learned many point-ersmdashsome to do others

to avoidmdashby watching

dates in progress at

restaurants and other

settings Yes we went to

certain places with the

sole purpose to observe

dates for ldquoclassrdquo

booklet will help you with the important choices you are

making now and will yet make in the futurerdquo4

Now that you have a solid foundation of the stan-

dards and purposes of dating (you did do your home-

work and read that section didnrsquot you) itrsquos time to move

on to lesson 2

Tips

Here are some suggestions that will help you learn

as you observe

bull Watch but donrsquot be creepy This is about learning from

others but not stalking staring or even judging Look for

things you like and things you would like to avoid

bull Go to a variety of places and settings to observe others

Not every date is the same nor should it be Watch how thesetting affects the experience

bull Watch how people interact with each other Can you tell

who is with whom Are they paying attention to each

other In what ways Are they talking with each other Do

they look like they enjoy being with each other How can

you tell if they are having fun

bull Talk with a parent leader or good friends and share what

you noticed and what you learned

Homework

The next time you go

out to eat attend a movie

or go to almost any activ-

ity make an effort to look

around and see how other

people are interacting It

may surprise you to see

how much dating is actu-ally going on Take the

time to learn from those

around you by paying

attention to whatrsquos work-

ing and what isnrsquot

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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28 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 3 l983137983150983150i983150983143 983137 D983137te

Tips

bull Start planning early

bull Donrsquot be afraid to bounce ideas off your friendsparents and others They can provide excellent

suggestions that you havenrsquot even thought about

bull Make sure you let your budget amount of time

available the reasons for dating and Church stan-

dards guide your planning

bull Think of what you hope will happen during the

date from beginning to end This helps you realize

what needs to be done to make the date a success

bull Pay attention to details Call ahead for event times

prices menus and what the proper dress is for

the occasion

bull Plan for emergencies For example what will you

do if you donrsquot have enough money or have car

trouble What if your date gets sick

Homework

Rather than leaving everything to chance dating acad-

emy grads understand what needs to happen and theyplan accordingly

Your homework assignment even if yoursquore years away

from dating is to practice planning an event You can

brainstorm with friends really fun ideas for a date Then

work together to think of what planning is required to

make those ideas actually happen Or you can ask your

parents to let you plan the next family outing

You might choose a place to eat or what to do Plan all

the details (event times travel time cost backup plans)

and then put your plan into action You could evencome up with a dating plan complete with backup ideas

if something goes wrong and share it in family home

evening while talking together around the dinner table

or with friends You may find that properly planning an

activity is almost as much fun as the actual date

The quality of experience yoursquoll have with others is

often determined by what happens before a date begins

Showing up on your datersquos doorstep with no plan is a

recipe for an awkward experience Nobody likes playing

the ldquoWhat do you want to dordquo game

Yoursquore better than that With a little practice you can

become a date-planning champion And young women

no fair skipping this section While most of the time young

men plan and ask for dates yoursquoll still want to have these

skills down for when itrsquos your turn

Group Date IdeasNeed ideas Check out ldsorggoideasNE8 Some

of the youth activities there could be adapted for dates

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Homework

In the Richardson Dating Academy all of our

children practiced dating invitations For example

our children might call an aunt older sibling or other

family member to practice inviting someone on a

date Or our son or daughter would receive an invita-

tion from a family member and practice responding

They learned how to deal with rejection acceptance

or even a disinterested response or two

Now itrsquos your turn Working with your parents ask

them to line up somebody in your family you can call

and practice inviting on a date Make sure you do this

more than once

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 29

You know your dating standards front and back

yoursquove watched others in dating situations and

yoursquove come up with a solid date plan

Congratulations Now you still need to invite

someone Or you need to know how to respond

when you are invited So whatrsquos the best way A

phone call Ask in person Here are some different

points to consider

Lesso983150 4 I983150viti983150983143 Others 983137983150d Bei983150983143 I983150vited

Tips

bull Be ready to give details when you invite

someone on a date Talk about what you have

planned start and end times whorsquos participat-ing and how they should dress (casual dressy

etc) Your excellent planning from academy

lesson 3 makes this part of the academy easy

bull Therersquos a time to talk by phone and a time to

ask face-to-face The more important the event

is the more personal the invitation should be

Donrsquot be afraid to skip technology and actually

talk with someone

bull Some events may require you to speak with

your datersquos parents first This shows respectand courtesy

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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30 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 5 O983150 the D983137te

It would be impossible for any dating academy to cover

every little thing to consider or plan for in dating So much

depends on good judgment communication with your par-

ents and listening to the Spirit

Still here are a few key points you might want to brush

up on before putting your date plan into action

Tips

bull Develop a ldquoyou firstrdquo attitude This means you always

think of your date first Is he or she having fun Is he or

she comfortable

bull Make sure you dress appropriately for the occasion

The way you dress usually communicates how you feelabout others and about the event Know the difference

between casual (but never sloppy) semiformal and

formal and when it would be appropriate to dress in

those ways

bull Show common courtesy by opening doors saying

thank you talking less about yourself and more about

your date and extending sincere compliments

bull Learn how to navigate restaurants Know how to make

a reservation get a table calculate a service tip and

pay the bill

Homework

Once again the best way to learn any good skill is by practic-

ing it Our youth enjoyed role-playing different situations

to think about how to act most appropriately We

also loved going out to eat as part of the dating acad-

emy experience Our children learned how to act in

a restaurant order a meal calculate the tip and paythe bill by actually doing it when they were with us

Look for opportunities to practice skills you should use on a

date For example the next time you and your family go some-

where ask your parents to let you purchase the tickets order

the meal or calculate the tip Treat your family or friends with

the same respect and courtesy that you should show others on a

date Open doors for your family be the first to say ldquothank yourdquo

and pay attention so you are part of the conversation

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 31

Lesso983150 6 The Doorste983152

NOTES

1 Thomas S Monson ldquoPreparation BringsBlessingsrdquo Ensign May 2010 64

2 Russell M Nelson ldquoCelestial Marriagerdquo Ensign Nov 2008 93

3 Jeffrey R Holland ldquoWe Are All Enlistedrdquo Ensign Nov 2011 45

4 ldquoMessage to the Youth from The First Presi-dencyrdquo For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

5 John Bytheway ldquoWhat Do Kisses Meanrdquo New Era Oct 2004 38ndash41

Last but not least dating

academy graduates know how

to conclude a date on the right

note Nothing sours a great date

more than a bad ending

Herersquos how you can finish a

date with success

Tips

bull Express gratitude Be sincere

and to the point If there was something you especially

liked tell your date what

it was

bull Therersquos no reason for drag-

ging things on at this point

Yoursquove already spent plenty

of time together Avoid the

ldquodoorstep shufflerdquo When

people arenrsquot sure what to

say they tend to shuffle backand forth or move their feet

in place If you find yourself

ldquoshufflingrdquo in place itrsquos a

pretty good signal that you

need to say good-bye

bull Know and follow the

Churchrsquos counsel on kissing

and physical intimacy (You

might also want to read John

Bythewayrsquos article ldquoWhat Do

Kisses Meanrdquo5 at ldsorggo

kissesNE8)

Homework

Yes herersquos another opportunity for practicing Our family has spent several family

home evenings role-playing doorstep good-byes Itrsquos been both helpful and fun to

watch an older sibling coach the younger sibling with dorsquos and donrsquots

Most memorable was an older sister showing how she could turn a hug into a

handshake with the grace of a princess and the speed of a ninja You too can get

together with family members and role-play different scenarios that might happen on

a doorstep We guarantee itrsquoll be an academy night yoursquoll all remember

Gr983137du983137tio983150

If yoursquove studied all the

material worked on the tips done

the homework and talked through

the lessons with your parents and

family you too can become a

dating academy graduate

As you continue strengthening

these important skills yoursquoll find

support strength and power that

will bless your relationships both

now and in the future You will be

better prepared for happiness NE

Do Try This at HomeInterested in having a dating academy at

home Let your parents know therersquos an RDAarticle for them in this monthrsquos Ensign or atldsorggoRDA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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32 N e w E r a

S U N DA Y L E S S

O N S

This Monthrsquos Topic

Ma r r iage a nd

Fa m i l y

MARRIAGE IS WORTH ITldquoIt is so rewarding to bemarried Marriage is wonder-ful In time you begin to thinkalike and have the same ideasand impressions You havetimes when you are extremelyhappy times of testing andtimes of trial but the Lordguides you through all ofthose growth experiencestogetherrdquo

Elder Richard G Scott of the

Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo

Ensign May 2011 96

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 33

We love being marr ied and he

rersquos why

By Ben and Rachel Nielsen

Letrsquos face it girls (and boys) itrsquos nice to know that someone loves you

And when yoursquore married you have chances to share and receive love every

day When I was talking to my parents about the possibility of marrying

Ben my dad said ldquoWhomever you choose to marry I want him to fre-

quently and sincerely express his love for you like Elder Richard G Scott did

for his wiferdquo3 I listened to Dad

I decided to marry Ben and he has always made an effort to express

his love to me in small and big ways During my senior year of college I

worked for months to prepare apply and interview for a prestigious intern-ship And when I finally heard that I got the job I came home and saw a

vase full of flowers from my husband He knew how hard I had worked and

how much the internship meant to me At other times hersquoll hide my favorite

drink and a love note in the fridge before he heads out for a weekend Scout

camp And every day hersquoll do the dishes and make me laugh Ben is great at

expressing his love for me and that brings both of us great joy

During my mission in Brazil I grew to love soccer One thing that I lovemost about this sport is having teammates and learning how to work together

with my team Rachel is a fantastic teammate She helps me achieve my

goals joins me in making important decisions and is there for me when I

have trouble

When we were sealed in the temple we promised to ldquohelp one another as

equal partnersrdquo2 Rachel and I strive to support each other in everything we

do and itrsquos great to know that I always have a reliable teammate

After our first date we both

knew we wanted to go

on a second date Ben

wanted to go on

another date because Rachel was

friendly and fun to talk to Rachel

wanted to go on another date

because Ben was a gentleman

and was still smiling after all of

his well-laid plans fell through

After the second date plus manymore dates and prayers after

that we fell in love and decided

to get married in the Sacramento

California Temple

The wedding day was abso-

lutely perfect and we have loved

being married ever since The

world may see marriage differ-

ently but we know that ldquono other

relationship of any kind canbring as much joy generate as

much good or produce as much

personal refinementrdquo1 Marriage

is awesome and herersquos why

FROM BEN A T e a m m a t e

FROM RACHEL

E x p r e s s i o n s o f L o v e

WHY MARRIAGE IS

A w e s o m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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34 N e w E r a

JOIN THE CONVERSATION

Things to Ponder for Sunday

bull What qualities and attitudes make for the strongest

and happiest marriages and families

bull What are you doing now that will help your future

marriage and family stay strong and happy

Things You Might Do

bull Share with some friends your goal of marrying and

having a family and tell them why

bull In church share why you are looking forward

to marriage and family and how you are pre-

paring for them

serving in the Church and inviting others to come unto

Christ As we work together to build the kingdom of God

we grow closer our love deepens and life is more fulfilling

Dating Rachel is so much fun In fact we make surethat we still frequently go on dates even as a married

couple After we first met we found that we enjoy many

of the same activities walking through parks attending

plays watching sporting events eating new and different

food listening to music and so much more I loved doing

these things before I met Rachel but theyrsquore even more

fun now that we get to share them together When yoursquore

married you have someone to enjoy life withmdashand that

makes life awesome

Before I met Ben I was nearing the age of missionary

service and had seriously considered serving a full-time

mission But then Ben entered my life and I knew that

Heavenly Father had a different plan for me

When Ben and I got engaged relatives who knew

about my thoughts to serve a mission asked me about my

choice and I would tell them ldquoI decided that I wanted topick my own missionary companionmdashand stay with him

for eternityrdquo

When yoursquore married you and your spouse have the

chance to participate in the work of salvation together

Ben and I have found great joy in building a Christ-

centered home studying and living the gospel together

Despite what the world may say marriage is awesome

and is worth making a priority When yoursquore married you

have a teammate you give and receive love you enjoy life

more fully and you have someone to build the kingdom

of God with All of that brings us great joy and because

we were sealed in the temple we can have this joy forever

If we keep our covenants we will be together for eternityand receive the crowning blessings of the priesthood We

ldquohave found in marriage the richest fulfillment of human

existencerdquo 4 NE

Ben and Rachel Nielsen live in Utah USA

NOTES

1 L Whitney Clayton ldquoMarriage Watch and Learnrdquo Ensign May 2013 83 2 ldquoThe Family A Proclamation to the Worldrdquo Ensign Nov 2010 129 3 See Richard G Scott ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo Ensign May

2011 96 4 James E Faust ldquoEnriching Your Marriagerdquo Ensign Apr 2007 6

FROM BEN M o r e E n jo y m e n t

FROM RACHEL A n E t e r n a l M is s i o n a r y C o m p a n io n

TAKE IT FROM US

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Your family can help unite the family of GodYou can all share the gospel in natural and pleasant ways

P H O T O I L L U S T R A T I O N B Y D A V I D S T O K E R

M O R M O N A D

(See M Russell Ballard ldquoPut Your Trust in the Lordrdquo Ensign Nov 2013 43)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 3852

36 N e w E r a

By Alex Larsen

I always knew I wanted to be a mother but when I was grow-

ing up it wasnrsquot always on my mind When my fianceacute and I

were engaged one day I was talking with one of my college

professorsmdasha woman I greatly admiredmdashabout my engage-

ment She said something that brought my life choices into sharp

focus ldquoYou are wasting your talentrdquo she told me as she shook

her head She went on to say that someone as smart as I was

should not get married young She assumed I would have chil-

dren in my future and would be ldquothrowing awayrdquo my education

and chances of a stellar career on my future motherhood I could

tell by the way she looked at me that she thought I was making

a terrible and naiumlve mistake

Itrsquos been several years since that conversation and my hus-

band and I have two little girls Kate is three years old and is

my little sweetheart She moves through life at a leisurely pace

savoring all of the little details she notices Annabel is one yearold with bright blue eyes and a head of curls Shersquos exuberant

and determined Though I didnrsquot change my mind because of

what my professor said our discussion has stayed with me In

one way my professorrsquos predictions were correct I do not have

a prestigious working career But my professor got the most

important point wrong because I have wasted nothing

g i v i n

g u p e v e r y

t hi n g

but wh a t

I

g a i n ed

w as w o r t h so much m o r e

T h e wor l d t o l d me

I w ould

b e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 37

their spirits growing and developing I remember

the first time Kate pointed to a picture of the Savior and

said ldquoJesusrdquo I knew then that what I was doing was eter-

nally significant in the lives of my children

The world often tells us that lifersquos rewards come in

the form of status money or grand accomplishments

but I know therersquos great satisfaction even in the small

acts of changing diapers or wiping sticky fingers Every

little thing I do as a mother is part of helping to build the

kingdom of God by nurturing His children I always knew

I wanted children but it was not until I held my first baby

in my arms that I began to realize how much my heart

was capable of loving

The love I have for my daughters has helped me bet-

ter understand how much my Heavenly Father loves all

of His children When speaking of little children Jesustaught that ldquoof such is the kingdom of heavenrdquo (Matthew

1914) More than anything motherhood has helped me

to grow as a daughter of God because now I know what

a daughter of God looks like from the eyes of a parent

The world makes us think that a woman loses herself in

motherhoodmdashshe loses her body her free time and her

career But I have found myself in motherhood I feel

more beautiful and more valuable than ever before NE

Alex Larsen lives in California USA

I love the opportunity to stay home and care for my

young children because these are the most formative

years of their lives I have the opportunity to create a rich

home environment for my girls by reading and discussing

things with them as part of our everyday life Kate will

often astound me by remembering and commenting on

something wersquod read in a book several weeks before and

Annabel learns a new skill almost every day But as fun

and important as it is to watch them learn new

information and skills I feel the

most satisfied when I see

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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38 N e w E r a

One o f t h e g r e a t e s t ad v enture s o f y o u r l i f e w i l l b e y our rol e a n d c a l l i n g a s a f a t her

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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ROcksROcksROcks

NOTE

1 See Thomas S Monson ldquoWelcome to Conferencerdquo Ensign Nov 2012 4ndash5

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 39

DA D D A DD AD

By Chris Deaver

W

hen I was younger I loved spending time

with my dad He always knew the bestgames to play the best stories to tell at night

and the most interesting sports to try It was

like he was born to be a great dad

Fast-forward my life to when I married my sweetheart

Julia and then even further to the moment that our first

child Daniel was born I was filled with a rush of emo-

tions I was happy shocked amazed and a little scared

I felt totally inadequate to be a father and to have the

responsibility of teaching and being an example to my son

But I quickly realized that Irsquod been preparing all my life tobe a dad When I held my son in my arms for the first time

and looked down into his face I felt the Spirit touch my

heart and I realized that I was ready to try to be a great

dad just like my own dad was to me

When Daniel was very young he already had a great

sense of humor He learned to tell hilarious jokes that

would make my wife and me laugh He also often said

things that inspired us Shortly after hearing President

Thomas S Monson announce the change in age require-

ments for young men and young women preparingto serve missions1 we were driving in the car Daniel

announced that he would start preparing himself right

then at age six so he would have 12 years of preparation

Then he said with a smile ldquoDad can I change the song

from lsquoI Hope They Call Me on a Missionrsquo to lsquoI AM Going on

a Missionrsquordquo It was awesome

WHYbeing a

Three years after Daniel was born he was followed by his

brother Austin For me as a dad itrsquos been great to watch bothboys become best friends And Austin has been just as fun

as Daniel in his own way He enjoys building and destroying

block towers and one of his favorite activities is to fearlessly

wrestle me as if I stand no chance against his four-year-old

powers Of course I give in and let him winmdashso I guess I

reinforce his belief But itrsquos so much fun I know hersquoll be a

great wrestler but what I want most is for him to wrestle

ldquoagainst the rulers of the darkness of this worldrdquo and ldquoagainst

spiritual wickednessrdquo like it says in the scriptures (Ephesians

612) And I hope Irsquom helping to prepare him to do that We just recently had our third child a baby girl named

Faith During the delivery my wife was having some com-

plications and we were scared for our baby I gave Julia

a blessing Then she asked me to sing to her The Spirit

brought peace to both of us Soon baby Faith came safely

into the world It was a miracle and she definitely lived up

to her name Faithrsquos beautiful smile brightens my life I canrsquot

express in words how much she means to me

For any young man still wondering let me tell you You

were born to be a great dad The world may not agree butfatherhood is the best Someday yoursquoll find that your kids

inspire you too and that being a dad is the greatest adven-

ture of your life Yes itrsquos a duty and something you need to

take seriously but being a dad is unlike anything else NE

Chris Deaver lives in Florida USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4252

40 N e w E r a

We always seem to be encouraged to read more

because well everyone knows that reading is a

good thing But not all books are worth reading and just

because sexual material is written about rather than pho-

tographed or video recorded doesnrsquot mean that itrsquos less

morally hazardous Making a common display of a sacred

intimacy thatrsquos intended to only be part of a marriage rela-

tionship is wrongmdashwhether in words or imagesIf something yoursquore reading contains explicit sexual

descriptions that imprint themselves on your mind and

arouse sexual feelings in the same way that looking at

pornographic images would then guess what Itrsquos pornog-

raphy Remember the counsel in For the Strength of Youth

ldquoChoose wisely when using media because whatever you

read listen to or look at has an effect on you Select only

media that uplifts yourdquo ([2011] 11) NE

T O T H E P O I N T

President Boyd K

Packer President of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoEach

of us must come to ourown personal testimony

of the Lord Jesus Christ

We then share that testi-

mony with our family and

othersrdquo1 It can sometimes

be easy to question the

depth of your testimony

I know looking at pornographic

pictures is wrong but whatabout reading books with

ldquoromanticrdquo scenes

If I donrsquot have a burning

desire to share thegospel does that mean I

donrsquot have a testimony

when you compare your-

self to people like Brigham

Young who once said ldquoI

wanted to thunder and

roar out the gospel to thenations It burned in my

bones like fire pent uprdquo2

So what if you donrsquot feel

fire in your bones

Hopefully your lack of

desire doesnrsquot come from

a lack of concern for your

fellowmen As your faith in

Jesus Christ grows so does

your love of all people a

love that is a mark of the

true followers of Christ (see

Moroni 748 John 1335)

Itrsquos likely however

that your hesitancy sim-

ply comes from fear and

anxiety about speaking toothers For many people

such feelings can be over-

whelming Even prophets

have had doubts about their

ability to speak to people

(see Exodus 410 Moses

631) They of course

had no reason to question

their testimoniesmdashand

neither should you if you

are studying the scriptures

pondering praying fasting

repenting and doing all the

other things that help bring

the Spirit into your life

If you feel you just

need a little extra cour-age to share the gos-

pel visit ldsorggo

shareNE8 for ideas NE

NOTES

1 Boyd K Packer ldquoThe Witnessrdquo Ensign May 2014 96

2 Teachings of Presidents ofthe Church Brigham Young (1997) viii

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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C O M E F O L L O W M E

Family

983152983137tter983150 of

President Boyd K PackerPresident of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

April 2014 general conference

The ultimate end

of all activity in

the Church is that

a man and his wife

and their childrencan be happy

at home

The FamilyYoursquoll be studying about the family in your Sunday classes

this month As you study and discuss family you may pon-der these questions Why do Church leaders emphasize

family so much What is the place of family in Heavenly

Fatherrsquos plan How does family help make us happy

To find some answers to these questions see the

family proclamation near the back of your Personal

Progress or Duty to God booklet or online at ldsorg

gofamilyNE8 Yoursquoll also find teachings about

family relationships in general conference talks at

conferenceldsorg

Give yourself an easy reminder to prepare for your

Sunday lessons on the family Just place these cards

in your scriptures locker or bedroom You can also

download or share them online at ldsorggocardsNE8 B A C K G R O U N D T E X T U R E

B Y I S T O C K P H O T O T H I N K S T O C K

We 983150eed We 983150eed

MOR E

983155tre983150983143the983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

RELATIONSHIPS

983153u983137lity 983153u983137lity TIME amp EFFORT INTO

TO PUT

983155re983150983143te983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4452

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4552

T H E E X T R A S M I L E

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 43

I dont like to pack so I rsquo m just wearing all my stuff

JON CLARK

W h a t m a k e s y o

u t h i n k

D a d rsquo s t a l k i n g t o

t h e

p r o p h e t

B ecaus e h e s ai d h e w as on a conf er ence cal l

RYAN STOKER

F r o m n o w o n j u s t t a k e

a p i c t u r e o f t h e t o o t h a n

d

u p l o a d i t t o m y F a c e b o o k

p a g e

a n d t h e n I rsquo l l s e n d y o u t h e

m o n e y t h r o u g h P a y P a l

RANDY GLASBERGEN

[Gasp] He he made h is bed this morning

And I didnrsquo t even ask

VAL CHADWICK BAGLEY

Who says there arenrsquo t modern m iracles

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4652

44 N e w E r a

ldquoMymom works

Since you donrsquot see your mom often make sure that

the time you do have together is used well You

could talk to your mom about how to do this She

wants a good relationship with you too and will

help you work on it Try asking her what she would

appreciate coming home to a clean house doing an activity

together just talking with you As you regularly do activities your mom appreciates your relationship will improve

Of course you could plan some fun activities to do together

but any meaningful time togethermdashsuch as washing the dishes

or reading the scripturesmdashcan be a great way to build your

relationship

Also plan time for communication Understanding one

another is a key ingredient in good relationships One thing

to discuss is how your momrsquos work schedule will affect your

relationship with her You can avoid misunderstandings if you

talk about your expectations as well as your momrsquosPrayer will help Families are important to Heavenly Father

so He can inspire you to know how to improve your relation-

ship with your mom Donrsquot ignore a prompting to do something

that seems small (see Alma 376) A hug and a smile for exam-

ple can make a big difference NE

Write a Note

Even if you have very

little time together you

can still express your

love to your mother

Write her thoughtful secret notes As

she reads them at work she will think

of you Do as much as you can for

her Think about her more often and

pray for her Ask the Lord to inspire

you and prompt you regarding how

you can improve your relationship Irinka E 20 Odessa Ukraine

Seek to Understand Her

Try to understand her situation

because she works for your benefit

You can begin by helping with things

at home like cleaning the house

helping your siblings and cooking

You also can share scriptures with

your mom pray together and doactivities that you like to do together

Morony M 18 Chihuahua Mexico

Have a Special Sunday

On some Sundays we

have a special lunch

or dinner with a new

dessert we talk and at

the end we sing hymns This brings

us together and helps us be betterfriends

Rebeca N 12 Satildeo Paulo Brazil

Try an Experiment

We arrange time to be together hav-

ing family home evening playing

games going to the beach having

lunch together All of this helps to

Q U E S T I O N S amp A N S W E R S

all day Howcan I improve our

relationshiprdquo

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4752

keep the flame of a good relationship

alive When we disagree we avoid

criticizing I know that sometimes I

ask not to do housework but this

contributes to disharmony in the

home Since I began this experiment

mdashcomplaining less lowering my

voice helping more with housework

and talking more with my mothermdash

a sweet spirit has developed in our

home and we cooperate more

Glenda C 18 Bahia Brazil

Help at Home

Do some extra chores

around the house Your

mom has been work-

ing all day If she has

less work to do when she gets home

shersquoll probably be happier and have

more time to talk and do things with

you While you are talking you canask about her day at work It will

show her that you care and it will

open doors for other topics of discus-

sion allowing you to grow closer

Heather B 18 Oregon USA

Find Something You BothLike to Do

My mumrsquos relationship with me

skyrocketed when I said ldquoI want tospend more time with you but I donrsquot

know what to do or when to do itrdquo

Playing board games happens to be

our favorite pastime So we set aside

a time together to play laugh and

make memories When you are open

with your parents eventually they

become your best companions You

UPCOMING QUESTION

ldquoMy parents just

got divorced Irsquom angry that they

have broken up our

family How doI forgive themrdquo

Send your answer and photo by

September 15 2014

Go to neweraldsorg click ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo enter your LDS Accountand then select ldquoNew Erardquo

Responses may be edited for length

or clarity

Responses are intended for help and per-

spective not as official pronouncements ofChurch doctrine

will be able to talk to them about

anything and you will be sure of an

honest answer That is the sign of a

mature relationship

Ephraim S 15 New South Wales Australia

Read Scriptures Together

Both of you could set a goal to read

together every day even just five

minutes from the Book of Mormon

or any other Church book It will

strengthen your relationship andnourish you with the word of God

so you can be ready to face each day

Remember also to pray to God and

ask for His help I know He hears you

and loves you

Laura M 19 Coacuterdoba Argentina

LEARN FROM

YOUR MOTHER

ldquoPlease look to yourfaithful mothers fora pattern to followModel yourselves

after them not after celebritieswhose standards are not the Lordrsquosstandards and whose values maynot reflect an eternal perspectiveLook to your mother Learn fromher strengths her courage andher faithfulness Listen to her She

may not be a whiz at texting shemay not even have a Facebookpage But when it comes to mat-ters of the heart and the thingsof the Lord she has a wealth ofknowledgerdquo

Elder M Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles ldquoMothers and Daughtersrdquo

Ensign May 2010 19

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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46 N e w E r a

MISERABLE TOTHE END OFTHE STREET

For one family home evening my

dad wanted to take advantage

of a pause in the rainy weather

to go on a walk around the neighbor-

hood I grumbled and complained

that it was too wet and muddy to

go walking I used the excuse that

I had a ballet recital that week and

didnrsquot want to sprain an ankle but

my dad didnrsquot buy it He insisted thatit was going to be the activity for the

evening I murmured a bit more about

the unfairness and my recital but we

left on the walk anyway

As I glumly stomped outside for

the walk with my family I was deter-

mined not to smile or be happy I

succeeded in feeling miserable until

I N S T A N T M E S S A G E S

we reached the end of the street Then

we turned the corner and I saw in full

force naturersquos beauty and wonder

Before me was a gorgeous sunset

and opposite it was a rainbow arching

above our neighborhood rooftops

I immediately forgot all about being

miserable and looked around in awe

On the way home I said a prayer of

gratitude thanking God for the beautyof His creations I later thanked my

dad for choosing the activity and for

allowing us to enjoy nature for that

family home evening

Jennie H North Carolina USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4952

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 47

STANDARDS AND FRIENDS

Since Irsquove been in school Irsquove had friends who havenrsquot understood the

moral standards of our religion At first it was difficult but over time

my friends have become used to the idea of my being morally clean I

made a goal in my life to be clean and pure and itrsquos worked out well both

for me and for those who used to criticize me Over time respect peace and

joy have become a part of our loving circle of friends

Vitoacuteria M Brazil

A DIFFICULT DECISION

FORGIVINGMY FRIENDS

As the only member of the

Church in my peer group

Irsquove experienced some

instances when my friends have

offended me Sometimes they judge

and criticize my religion I feel so

alone yet Irsquom thankful I know the

standards of the Church

If my friends offend me I try to

humble myself and avoid contention

because I know contention is evil When they start discussing some mat-

ters about the Church I just testify of

my belief in the gospel

I always forgive my friends with or

without their apology Forgiving is not

just about saying ldquoApology acceptedrdquo

or ldquoItrsquos OKrdquo because forgiveness has

a deep meaning Jesus Christ atoned

for our sins so that Heavenly Father

can forgive usEven though my friends donrsquot

understand my faith now I know that

I can be Godrsquos instrument to teach

them the gospel I am helping them

and at the same time I am helping

myself to grow spiritually and prepare

to serve a mission

Joshua V Philippines

As volleyball tryouts approached for my senior year in high

school I couldnrsquot believe the thought that was running through

my head I wasnrsquot supposed to play volleyball Irsquod played vol-

leyball since seventh grademdashwhy should this year be any different

Not seeing the sense in quitting I ignored the feeling and continued

to participate in summer volleyball events After a while the feeling

came back so I decided that if I really wasnrsquot supposed to be on the

team my coach would just cut me during tryouts

Then one night at the gym I couldnrsquot focus on the game at all I felt

terrible and restless inside I came home frustrated with my team and

with myself I sat next to my mom and sister and cried I told them

how confused I was and my mom told me to pray and ask Heavenly

Father what He wanted me to do I went up to my room and began to

pray I told Heavenly Father how I felt then I asked Him to help mefeel peace if I was not supposed to continue playing volleyball I felt

His peace in my heart and knew that I needed to quit

Irsquom still not sure all the reasons why that was the right

decision but I know that itrsquos what the Lord

wanted me to do and thatrsquos a good

enough reason for me

The next morning I told my

coach and my teammates that

I wasnrsquot going to be playing

Even though it was incrediblyhard I knew I was doing

the right thing

Klaire B Arizona USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5152

you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5252

WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 1652

By ElderJoseacute L Alonso

Of the Seventy

LINKED PRAYERS COUNSELING WITH THE LORD

ldquoThere may be things in our character in our behavior or concerningour spiritual growth about which we need to counsel with HeavenlyFather in morning prayer After expressing appropriate thanks for

blessings received we plead for understanding direction and helpto do the things we cannot do in our own strength alone

ldquoAt the end of our day we kneel again and report back to our Father We reviewthe events of the day and express heartfelt thanks for the blessings and the helpwe received We repent and with the assistance of the Spirit of the Lord identifyways we can do and become better tomorrow Thus our evening prayer buildsupon and is a continuation of our morning prayer And our evening prayer also is apreparation for meaningful morning prayerrdquo

Elder David A Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles ldquoPray Alwaysrdquo Ensign Nov 2008 41ndash42

14 N e w E r a

When I was 15 I went

to live with my father

while I finished high

school He lived and

worked in another city and had joined

the Church I didnrsquot know he was

a member but I saw that he acted

differently He acted with love and

kindness and was interested in myconcerns and needs

The first night I arrived I was

so hungry We sat down for dinner

and I started to eat but my father

said ldquoWait a minute We need to

prayrdquo I said ldquoWe need to what rdquo I

didnrsquot even know what the word

pray meant My father explained

that he was going to thank God our

Heavenly Father for the food we

had received from Him and then

we could eat My father prayed

and in his prayer he mentioned myname and asked for God to bless

me I felt something wonderful That

was the first time I felt the Spirit so

strongly in my life

My father taught me to pray to

Heavenly Father on my own Later

when the missionaries taught me

about Joseph Smithrsquos prayer I imme-

diately felt that it was possible for the

Lord to answer the prayer of a young

man The missionaries asked me to

read the Book of Mormon and to pray

to know if Jesus is the Christ if JosephSmith was a prophet and if the Book

of Mormon is true

That night I read the story in

3 Nephi 11 of when Jesus visits the

Nephites I was in a private place

so I got down on my knees and I

prayed Even though I was only 15 I

had faith that the Lord would answer

my prayer I received an impression

in my mind as clear as anything Ihad ever seen that Jesus is the Christ

Joseph Smith was a prophet and

the Book of Mormon is true I felt

like Joseph Smith after that prayer

I was so happy to truly know that

Heavenly Father answers prayers

from young people

Irsquod Never PRAYED BEFORE

i983150 Th983137t W983137y

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 1752

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 15

WHAT KEPT ME STRONG

D983137ily P983137yer

As a teenager in an area with-

out a lot of Church members

I found that daily prayer was one

of the most important things that

helped me stay spiritually strong

I made sure to pray every day and

developed a pattern that helped

memdashmorning and evening prayers

When I heard

my father prayfor the rst timel felt something

wonderful

MORNING PRAYERS

Every morning I would share with

the Lord

bull My plans for the day

bull What I wanted to do

bull What I thought the Lord

wanted me to do

I would present my plans to

God and then ask for the Lordrsquos

help in accomplishing them

EVENING PRAYERS

Every evening I would

bull Report on how my day went

and if I had accomplished the

things I had set out to do

bull Share things that had been

difficult for me

bull Share things that I had learned

from people or through the

Spirit that dayThe more I prayed the more

I learned to understand and

receive impressions from the

Holy Ghost These impressions

helped me gain more strength

to follow the direction of the

Lord NE

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 1852

16 N e w E r a

With canteen in hand I was prepared for my

second 50-mile hike and campout in the

Uinta Mountains I was about as well pre-

pared as a 14-year-old could be My equip-

ment was all set to go my boots were sturdy and my pack

was full of all the essentials

The day of the hike arrived and our

leaders reminded our group of young men

that the mountains could be very danger-

ous Hikers and campers were often lost

in the rugged hills and on the numerous

trails We were warned not to wander

away from the path Our leadersmdashmy

father includedmdashall seemed concerned

for our safety and were anxious to keep

us from straying off of our chosen pathBeing one of the stronger hikers and

a leader in the group I soon found myself

and three other boys leading the way

Sometimes we waited for our group at the

forks in the trail to make sure we followed

the correct path and would not become lost

We hiked for hours laughing and joking all the way We

were having a great time Suddenly we heard frantic calls

and the sounds of running We knew something must have

gone wrong We wondered if maybe some of the grouphad become lost I was concerned for the friends Irsquod left

behind with the leaders Something bad must have happened

We stopped to listen so we could hear what the distant

voices were yelling We heard our names More specifically

I heard my name being called I recognized my fatherrsquos

voice We called back and heard their heavy footsteps coming

in our direction

Something bad had happened We learned that

four of the boys in our group had strayed from

the correct path and had become lost It was us

We were the ones who were lost My father was

thankful to have finally found us and together we

began the hike back to the correct trail

In my head I retraced my footsteps I couldnrsquot

figure out how Irsquod become lost I felt like I was

still on the original path Irsquod been so sure We

retraced our steps and my father showed us aturn we had missed It was just a small path with

a little hidden sign marking the correct way

We had hiked two miles off the right trail

We were thankful wersquod been found

before dark For the rest of the hike

we stayed close to our leaders and the rest of the

group and were never in danger again

Sometimes our overconfidence as youth

gives us an unrealistic sense of independence

We push on without consulting our parentsor leaders We fail to ask for advice We feel

By Duncan Anderson

Mile Hike

The

We stoppedto listen so we

could hear whatthe distant voices

were yellingWe heard ournames We

called back andheard their heavyfootsteps comingin our direction

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 1952

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 17

certain wersquore headed in a direction leading to the right

destination We laugh and joke and enjoy the path until itrsquos

too late too dark and wersquore lost

When it comes to choosing the right trails in life our

Heavenly Father has provided tools to guide us and keep us

on the path that leads to Him We have the scriptures prayer

and revelation our parents guidelines like For the Strength

of Youth and our Church leaders to guide us through the

countless options life offers

When we do stray off the path itrsquos often our loving parents

and dedicated leaders who come to the rescue They can

guide us back to the correct way and show us where we

went wrong Through repentance we can correct those

wrongs and start fresh on the right path headed toward the

destination that will give us eternal happiness and a life in the

presence of our Heavenly Father NE

Duncan Anderson lives in Utah USA

CHOOSING RIGHT PATHS

ldquoI plead with you to make a determi-nation right here right now notto deviate from the path which willlead to our goal eternal life with ourFather in Heaven Along that straight

and true path there are other goals missionaryservice temple marriage Church activity scripturestudy prayer temple work There are countless wor-thy goals to reach as we travel through life Neededis our commitment to reach themrdquo

President Thomas S Monson ldquoThe Three Rs of Choicerdquo

Ensign Nov 2010 68

NEED ADVICE

Is there anything yoursquod like advice on Donrsquot be afraid to ask your

parents or Church leaders Remember they are there to help you

no matter what yoursquod like to talk about

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2052

One of the things we agree

to do as part of the bap-

tismal covenant is ldquoto

stand as witnesses of

God at all times and in all things and in

all places that [we] may be inrdquo (Mosiah

189) And incidentally we renew this

covenant every week when we partake

of the sacramentIn the April 2014 general conference

several speakers reminded us that there

will be times when standing as a witness

of God will mean having to face oppo-

sition criticism and ridicule So what

should you do when yoursquore required

to take the uncomfortable uncool or

unpopular step of defending your beliefs

By David A Edwards

Church Magazines

Be brave and humble firm and gentle

all at the same time With the Lordrsquos

help itrsquos not as hard as it sounds

18 N e w E r a

of Defe983150di983150983143Your Beliefs

Dorsquos 983137983150d

Donrsquots

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2152

you should rely on the Spiritto guide your defense of your

faith Bear testimony by the

Spirit Thatrsquos the Lordrsquos way

(See also DampC 1005ndash8)

The point here is not that

you should avoid any discus-

sion in which people have dif-

fering points of view Rather it

has to do with your intent as

well as the emotions involved

We should seek understand-

ing and try to persuade withmeekess not just score points

and prove wersquore right and

someone else is wrong A

discussion where people are

getting really worked up and

angry is one you should either

try to soften or simply avoid

Heavenly Father has given

you the gift of the Holy Ghost

and you should take advan-

tage of this gift This doesnrsquot

mean reason and logic canrsquot

be inspired or confirmed by

the Spirit it just means that

Elder W Craig Zwick of

the Seventy has explained

this scripture this way ldquoA lsquosoft

answerrsquo consists of a reasoned

responsemdashdisciplined words

from a humble heart It does

not mean we never speak

directly or that we compro-

mise doctrinal truth Words

that may be firm in infor-

mation can be soft in spiritrdquo

(ldquoWhat Are You Thinkingrdquo

Ensign May 2014 42)

ldquoA SOFT ANSWER TURNETH AWAY

wr983137thBUT

GRIEVOUS WORDS stir u983152 983137983150983143errdquo

(Proverbs 151)

ldquoBeholdI send you forthas sheep in the

midst of wolves be ye therefore wise as serpents

and h983137r983149less as dovesrdquo

(Matthew 1016)

The Savior doesnrsquot want

you to be ignorant or naiumlve

but He also doesnrsquot want you

to attack anyone Knowing

what goes on in the world

doesnrsquot mean we have to

use its tactics

ldquoCONTEND AGAINST

NO CHURCHrdquo (DampC 1820)

There is no need to

criticize other churches

Positive statements of your

beliefs rather than negative

statements about others will

be most effective As the

Prophet Joseph Smith said

ldquoWe donrsquot ask any people

to throw away any good

they have got we only ask

them to come and get morerdquo

(Teachings of Presidents

of the Church Joseph

Smith [2007] 155)

ldquoAND THOUSHALT DECLARE

983143l983137d tidi983150983143s ldquoAND THOU SHALTDO IT WITH 983137ll hu983149ilityTRUSTING IN ME 983154evili983150983143 983150ot

AGAINST REVILERSrdquo

(DampC 1929ndash30)

The tidings you declare

are glad Remember that

and make sure your face and

your voice show it too Also

the word revile here means

to hurl abusive or insulting

language at a person So if

ldquoFOR I AM

NOT ASHAMED

OF THE GOSPEL OF CHRISTrdquo

(Romans 116)

As President Thomas S

Monson has said ldquoWe will all

face fear experience ridiculeand meet opposition Let

usmdashall of usmdashhave the courage

to defy the consensus the

courage to stand for prin-

ciple Courage not com-

promise brings the smile of

Godrsquos approvalrdquo (ldquoBe Strong

and of a Good Couragerdquo

Ensign May 2014 69)

The scriptures give you some basic principles for standing up for your faith including the following

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 19

ldquoWe s983152e983137k

NOT IN THE WORDS which 983149983137983150rsquos

WISDOM TEACH ETH

but which THE HOLY GHOST

TEACHETHrdquo

(1 Corinthians 213)

ldquoHE THATHATH THE

SPIRIT OF CONTENTIONIS NOT OF ME

BUT ISOF THE DEVIL

WHO IS THE FATHER OFCONTENTION AND

HE STIRRETH UPTHE HEARTS

OF MEN

TO CONTEND WITH ANGER

ONE WITH ANOTHERrdquo(3 Nephi 1129)

HERErsquoS SOME ADVICE FROM THE SCRIPTURES

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2252

How Do You Defend Do you have experi-ence in defending yourbeliefs Or do you haveideas to add to theselists Go to ldsorggodefendNE8 and share

Finding Courage

Read more on this topic atldsorggocourageNE8

someonersquos doing that to you

donrsquot retaliate and do the

same thing back to them The

Apostle Peter taught that the

Savior Himself gave the exam-

ple you should follow in thisregard (see 1 Peter 223)

ldquoLOVE YOUR ENEMIESbless them

that curse you

DO GOOD TO T HEMTHAT HATE YOU

and pray for

them which

DESPITEFULLY USE YOUAND PERSECUTE YOUrdquo

(Matthew 544)ldquoSEE THAT YE ARE NOT lifted u983152 u983150to

983152ride ye983137 SEE THAT YE DO

NOT BOAST IN YOUR

OWN WISDOM

983150or of your 983149uch stre983150983143thldquoUSE BOLDNESS

BUT NOT

OVERBEARANCErdquo (Alma 3811ndash12)

Here the word tenets

refers to opinions or teachings

that go beyond the basics So

the Lord is saying to stick to

the basic message of the gos-

pel when yoursquore declaring Hisglad tidings This also applies

to defending your faith

You donrsquot need to stray into

detailed discussions about

every little thing related to the

Church As Elder Richard G

Scott of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles has said

ldquoKeep your sharing of the

gospel simple rdquo (ldquo lsquoI HaveGiven You an Examplerdquo

Ensign May 2014 34)

ldquoEveryone independent

of his or her decisions and

beliefs deserves our kind-

ness and considerationrdquo said

Elder Neil L Andersen of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles ldquoThe Savior

taught us to love not only

our friends but also those

who disagree with usmdashand

even those who repudiate

usrdquo (ldquoSpiritual Whirlwindsrdquo

Ensign May 2014 20)

Again be humble Itrsquos not

about you or how smart and

capable you are Also you can

be bold without making over-

blown statements or being

a verbal or intellectual bully

As Elder Jeffrey R Holland

of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoYou willone day find yourself called

upon to defend your faith

Such moments will require

both courage and courtesy

on your partrdquo (ldquoThe Costmdashand

Blessingsmdashof Discipleshiprdquo

Ensign May 2014 6)

ldquoA983150d of te983150ets thou sh983137lt 983150ot t983137lk but thou shalt

declare repentance andfaith on the Savior and 983154e983149issio983150 of si983150sby baptism and by fire

yea even the Holy Ghostrdquo(DampC 1931)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2452

22 N e w E r a

I received my first two-wheel bicycle

when I was eight years old With

the help of my older brother and

father I began the rather scary pro-

cess of figuring out how to ride it The other kids in the neighborhood

made it look so easy and natural as

they zoomed up and down the street

on their bikes I perched on the bike

seatmdashwhich seemed to be at least

10 feet (3 m) above the groundmdashand

realized there was absolutely noth-

ing to keep me from falling over and

proving that the law of gravity was

alive and well As I tried riding I learned quickly

that if I wanted to stay balanced I had

to keep pedaling When I first sat on

the seat speed was the last thing I

wanted to add to the already daunting

equation But I very soon understood

the wisdom and the physics involved

in moving forward As long as I kept

pedaling I could stay upright and

avoid the rough concrete just waiting

to take the skin off my arms and legs

Soon I was zipping around the neigh-

borhood with my friends

Defy Gr983137vity Defy Gr983137vity

of the First Presidency as outlined

in that booklet our lives will be bal-

anced and steady We will be led

where we want to go

We need to keep moving forwardto avoid falling To do that we should

consistently and faithfully do certain

actions

bull Pray morning and night

bull Study the scriptures daily

bull Attend Church meetings and par-

take of the sacrament worthily

bull Serve those around us

bull Be worthy to attend the temple

All of these actions keep us moving

forward in the right direction

Thatrsquos why reading and being famil-

iar with the standards described in For

the Strength of Youth will help ensure

we are making choices consistent with

Godrsquos standards Living these princi-

ples and keeping the commandments

F O R T H E S T R E N G T H O F Y O U T H

By Bonnie LOscarson

Young WomenGeneral President

As you keep moving forward you can stay upright even

when outside forces try to pull you down

Just as those who keep

pedaling a bike can stay

upright despite gravityrsquos

influence those who are

guided by the Holy Spirit in

all they do can withstand

the influence of theadversary

So it is with living the gospel and

the standards in For the Strength of

Youth It takes faith to believe that if

we consistently follow the counsel

GO FORWARD WITH FAITH

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 23

invite the Holy Ghost to be our con-

stant companion Just as those who

keep pedaling a bike can stay upright

despite gravityrsquos influence those who

are guided by the Holy Spirit in allthey do can withstand the influence of

the adversary

What are the destinations you have

in mind as you pedal forward For all

young men of the Aaronic Priesthood

preparing now for a full-time mission

is important in forward growth For

all youth being prepared to go to the

temple and receive the endowment by

making and keeping sacred covenantsshould also be a primary goal

As the message from the First

Presidency at the beginning of For the

Strength of Youth says ldquoIn all that you

do stay focused on the temple In the

temple you will receive the greatest

of all the Lordrsquos blessings including

marriage for time and all eternityrdquo1

Receiving the covenant of eternal

marriage in the house of the Lord and

becoming righteous husbands wives

fathers and mothers may seem far

down the road but the time to beginpreparing is now All of these things

lead to the most glorious and grand

destination of allmdasheternal life with

our Heavenly Father

One of my favorite scriptures

sums up what we need to do in order

to keep moving toward our goals

ldquoWherefore ye must press forward

with a steadfastness in Christ hav-

ing a perfect brightness of hopeand a love of God and of all men

Wherefore if ye shall press forward

feasting upon the word of Christ and

endure to the end behold thus saith

the Father Ye shall have eternal liferdquo

(2 Nephi 3120)

Just as I learned as an eight-year-

old girl that I needed to keep pedaling

and moving forward in order to defy

gravity and keep my balance on my

bicycle it is important for all of us to

keep moving forward with faith trust-

ing in the counsel of living prophetsand a loving Heavenly Father to keep

us from falling Some of our destina-

tions are just down the road while

others will take a lifetime of faithful

living to achieve The promises of

what lies at the end of the road if we

are faithful are certain and glorious

and well worth the ride NE

NOTE

1 For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

Learn MoreSee whatrsquos next in your covenant path

at ldsorggocovenantNE8

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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24 N e w E r a

BOA R D

GA M E S

B y Da vid Chris tensen

My chance to play le f t

a lasting impact but it

wasnrsquot what Irsquod e xpected

L o s i n

g s o

q u i c k

l y w

a s b

a d e

n o u

g h

b

u t t o

m a k

e m

a t t e r s

w o r s e

t h

e o t h

e r g

u y

s s t a r t e

d t o

m a k

e

f u n

o f

m e

I

t r i e d

t o c o

n t i n

u e

p l a y i n g

e v e

n t h

o u

g h

t h e y

w e r

e b

e i n

g m

e a n

b

u t i t

w a s h

a r d t o h o

l d b

a c k m y t e

a r s

o f f r u s t

r a t i o n

U

n f o

r t u n a t e l y

o n e t e

a r t r i c k l e

d d

o w

n m y

c h e e

k b

e f o

r e I

c o u

l d w i p

e i t

a w a y M

y b

r o t h

e r

s a w i t

a n d

t e a s e

d m

e t o

o

I c o

u l d

n rsquo t

t a k e i t

a n y

m o r e

a n d

r a n t o

m y

r o o m

I g a v e m y s e l

f a q u i c k p i n

c h

t o m a k e s u r

e I w a s n rsquo

t d r e a m i n g

a n d t h e

n I v o i c e d

a t i m i d ldquo Y e

a h

s u r e rdquo I s t

i l l c o u l d

n rsquo t b e l i e

v e t h a t

m y b r o t h e

r h a d i n v

i t e d m e t o

p l a y a g a m e w i t h

t h e ldquo b i g k i

d s rdquo

A f t e r a l l

I rsquo d b e e n t o l d f o r t h

r e e

y e a r s t h a

t I w a s s t i l l

t o o y o u

n g

t o p l a y m o r e d i f fi

c u l t b o a

r d

g a m e s w i t h m y b r o

t h e r a n d

h i s f r i e n d s

A N D B R O

T H

E R S

I

felt the hot tears of anger slowly slide

down my face I wiped them away with

my hand but I could still feel the

slightly salty taste on my lips assobs of anguish began to pour out

I just wanted to hang out with my

brother Why couldnrsquot he be my

friend too

J u s t a f e w

h o u r s

b e f o

r e I h a d

s t a r e d a t

m y o

l d e r b

r o t h

e r S t e v e

i n c o

m p

l e t e s u r p

r i s e

w a i t i n

g f o r h

i m t o

t e

l l

m e t h

a t h e w

a s o n

l y

j o k i n g ldquo W

e l l d o y o

u

w a n

t t o p

l a y rdquo S t e v e

a s k e d i m p

a

t i e n t l y

I w

e n t i n t o t h e

r o o m w h

e r e t h e

o l d e r b o y s

w e r e

s e t t i n g u p

t h e b o a r d

g a m e A s t h e

g a m e s t a r t e d

w i t h

e v e r y o n e s t r a t e g i c a l l y

p l a c i n g

t h e i r g a m

e

p i e c e s

I f e l t l i k e

I w

a s d r e a

m i n g F o r

t h e fi r s t t i m

e

I f e l t e q u a l t o

m y b r o t h e r mdash

n o t l i k e I

w a s j u s t h i s

t a g a l o n g

T h e d r e a m

e n d e d q u i c k

l y h o w e v e r

T h e

g a m e w

a s t o u g h

a n d m y i n

e x p e r i e n c e

a n d l a c k

o f k n o w l e d g e

b e c

a m e

p a i n f u l l y o b v i o u s

a s t h e o t

h e r

p l a y e r s q u i c k l y

a n d

s o u n d l y d e f e a t e d

m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2852

26 N e w E r a

Le983137r983150i983150983143 the i983150s 983137983150d outs of d983137ti983150983143 c983137983150 be h983137rd Let this course tur983150 you

i983150to 983137 d983137ti983150983143 983152ro

By Matthew ORichardson

Served as Second

Counselor in theSunday SchoolGeneral Presidencyfrom 2009 to 2014

hile speaking to youth about how to prepare for a celestial marriage

President Thomas S Monson emphasized that ldquoproper dating is a part

of preparation for marriagerdquo 1 Have you thought much about happy

relationships Elder Russell M Nelson of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said a ldquocelestial marriage brings greater possibilities for happiness than

does any other relationshiprdquo2

When I was serving as bishop in a young single adult ward I worried about those

who approached dating with very little purpose understanding or direction This

caused me to wonder if my own children would be any different when their time came

My wife and I decided to help our children prepare for ldquoproper datingrdquo and happy rela-tionships by creating the Richardson Dating Academy or RDA as our children call it

It wasnrsquot long after we started the RDA that friends of our children wanted to partici-

pate and even become RDA graduates So how about you Are you ready to become a

dating academy graduate yourself Class is in session

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 27

Lesso983150 1 ur983152oses 983137983150d St983137983150d983137rds of D983137ti983150983143

Lesso983150 2 W983137tch 983137983150d Le983137r983150

Homework

As you know ldquodatingrdquo means different things to differ-

ent people Your first assignment is to figure out just what

a ldquodaterdquo is according to Church standards Can you explain

the purposes of dating and the specific dating standards and

guidelines set by the Church Or do you know when itrsquosmost appropriate to be involved in dating and steady dating

(having a boyfriend or girlfriend)

You can find answers to these questions in the ldquoDatingrdquo

section of For the Strength of Youth The First Presidency

reminds us why knowing and understanding these stan-

dards are so important They promise ldquoThe standards in this

Elder Jeffrey R Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles once explained that most athletic contests have ldquolines

drawn on the floor or the field within which every participant

must stay in order to competerdquo3 Success depends on how

well a competitor knows and stays within the set boundaries

Likewise itrsquos important to know the ldquodating linesrdquo or the pur-

poses and standards of dating as taught by Church leaders

One of the most com-

mon ways people learn

is by watching others

Dating is no different

In the dating academy

we spend time observ-

ing others in dating

situations In our family

we learned many point-ersmdashsome to do others

to avoidmdashby watching

dates in progress at

restaurants and other

settings Yes we went to

certain places with the

sole purpose to observe

dates for ldquoclassrdquo

booklet will help you with the important choices you are

making now and will yet make in the futurerdquo4

Now that you have a solid foundation of the stan-

dards and purposes of dating (you did do your home-

work and read that section didnrsquot you) itrsquos time to move

on to lesson 2

Tips

Here are some suggestions that will help you learn

as you observe

bull Watch but donrsquot be creepy This is about learning from

others but not stalking staring or even judging Look for

things you like and things you would like to avoid

bull Go to a variety of places and settings to observe others

Not every date is the same nor should it be Watch how thesetting affects the experience

bull Watch how people interact with each other Can you tell

who is with whom Are they paying attention to each

other In what ways Are they talking with each other Do

they look like they enjoy being with each other How can

you tell if they are having fun

bull Talk with a parent leader or good friends and share what

you noticed and what you learned

Homework

The next time you go

out to eat attend a movie

or go to almost any activ-

ity make an effort to look

around and see how other

people are interacting It

may surprise you to see

how much dating is actu-ally going on Take the

time to learn from those

around you by paying

attention to whatrsquos work-

ing and what isnrsquot

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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28 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 3 l983137983150983150i983150983143 983137 D983137te

Tips

bull Start planning early

bull Donrsquot be afraid to bounce ideas off your friendsparents and others They can provide excellent

suggestions that you havenrsquot even thought about

bull Make sure you let your budget amount of time

available the reasons for dating and Church stan-

dards guide your planning

bull Think of what you hope will happen during the

date from beginning to end This helps you realize

what needs to be done to make the date a success

bull Pay attention to details Call ahead for event times

prices menus and what the proper dress is for

the occasion

bull Plan for emergencies For example what will you

do if you donrsquot have enough money or have car

trouble What if your date gets sick

Homework

Rather than leaving everything to chance dating acad-

emy grads understand what needs to happen and theyplan accordingly

Your homework assignment even if yoursquore years away

from dating is to practice planning an event You can

brainstorm with friends really fun ideas for a date Then

work together to think of what planning is required to

make those ideas actually happen Or you can ask your

parents to let you plan the next family outing

You might choose a place to eat or what to do Plan all

the details (event times travel time cost backup plans)

and then put your plan into action You could evencome up with a dating plan complete with backup ideas

if something goes wrong and share it in family home

evening while talking together around the dinner table

or with friends You may find that properly planning an

activity is almost as much fun as the actual date

The quality of experience yoursquoll have with others is

often determined by what happens before a date begins

Showing up on your datersquos doorstep with no plan is a

recipe for an awkward experience Nobody likes playing

the ldquoWhat do you want to dordquo game

Yoursquore better than that With a little practice you can

become a date-planning champion And young women

no fair skipping this section While most of the time young

men plan and ask for dates yoursquoll still want to have these

skills down for when itrsquos your turn

Group Date IdeasNeed ideas Check out ldsorggoideasNE8 Some

of the youth activities there could be adapted for dates

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 3152

Homework

In the Richardson Dating Academy all of our

children practiced dating invitations For example

our children might call an aunt older sibling or other

family member to practice inviting someone on a

date Or our son or daughter would receive an invita-

tion from a family member and practice responding

They learned how to deal with rejection acceptance

or even a disinterested response or two

Now itrsquos your turn Working with your parents ask

them to line up somebody in your family you can call

and practice inviting on a date Make sure you do this

more than once

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 29

You know your dating standards front and back

yoursquove watched others in dating situations and

yoursquove come up with a solid date plan

Congratulations Now you still need to invite

someone Or you need to know how to respond

when you are invited So whatrsquos the best way A

phone call Ask in person Here are some different

points to consider

Lesso983150 4 I983150viti983150983143 Others 983137983150d Bei983150983143 I983150vited

Tips

bull Be ready to give details when you invite

someone on a date Talk about what you have

planned start and end times whorsquos participat-ing and how they should dress (casual dressy

etc) Your excellent planning from academy

lesson 3 makes this part of the academy easy

bull Therersquos a time to talk by phone and a time to

ask face-to-face The more important the event

is the more personal the invitation should be

Donrsquot be afraid to skip technology and actually

talk with someone

bull Some events may require you to speak with

your datersquos parents first This shows respectand courtesy

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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30 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 5 O983150 the D983137te

It would be impossible for any dating academy to cover

every little thing to consider or plan for in dating So much

depends on good judgment communication with your par-

ents and listening to the Spirit

Still here are a few key points you might want to brush

up on before putting your date plan into action

Tips

bull Develop a ldquoyou firstrdquo attitude This means you always

think of your date first Is he or she having fun Is he or

she comfortable

bull Make sure you dress appropriately for the occasion

The way you dress usually communicates how you feelabout others and about the event Know the difference

between casual (but never sloppy) semiformal and

formal and when it would be appropriate to dress in

those ways

bull Show common courtesy by opening doors saying

thank you talking less about yourself and more about

your date and extending sincere compliments

bull Learn how to navigate restaurants Know how to make

a reservation get a table calculate a service tip and

pay the bill

Homework

Once again the best way to learn any good skill is by practic-

ing it Our youth enjoyed role-playing different situations

to think about how to act most appropriately We

also loved going out to eat as part of the dating acad-

emy experience Our children learned how to act in

a restaurant order a meal calculate the tip and paythe bill by actually doing it when they were with us

Look for opportunities to practice skills you should use on a

date For example the next time you and your family go some-

where ask your parents to let you purchase the tickets order

the meal or calculate the tip Treat your family or friends with

the same respect and courtesy that you should show others on a

date Open doors for your family be the first to say ldquothank yourdquo

and pay attention so you are part of the conversation

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 31

Lesso983150 6 The Doorste983152

NOTES

1 Thomas S Monson ldquoPreparation BringsBlessingsrdquo Ensign May 2010 64

2 Russell M Nelson ldquoCelestial Marriagerdquo Ensign Nov 2008 93

3 Jeffrey R Holland ldquoWe Are All Enlistedrdquo Ensign Nov 2011 45

4 ldquoMessage to the Youth from The First Presi-dencyrdquo For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

5 John Bytheway ldquoWhat Do Kisses Meanrdquo New Era Oct 2004 38ndash41

Last but not least dating

academy graduates know how

to conclude a date on the right

note Nothing sours a great date

more than a bad ending

Herersquos how you can finish a

date with success

Tips

bull Express gratitude Be sincere

and to the point If there was something you especially

liked tell your date what

it was

bull Therersquos no reason for drag-

ging things on at this point

Yoursquove already spent plenty

of time together Avoid the

ldquodoorstep shufflerdquo When

people arenrsquot sure what to

say they tend to shuffle backand forth or move their feet

in place If you find yourself

ldquoshufflingrdquo in place itrsquos a

pretty good signal that you

need to say good-bye

bull Know and follow the

Churchrsquos counsel on kissing

and physical intimacy (You

might also want to read John

Bythewayrsquos article ldquoWhat Do

Kisses Meanrdquo5 at ldsorggo

kissesNE8)

Homework

Yes herersquos another opportunity for practicing Our family has spent several family

home evenings role-playing doorstep good-byes Itrsquos been both helpful and fun to

watch an older sibling coach the younger sibling with dorsquos and donrsquots

Most memorable was an older sister showing how she could turn a hug into a

handshake with the grace of a princess and the speed of a ninja You too can get

together with family members and role-play different scenarios that might happen on

a doorstep We guarantee itrsquoll be an academy night yoursquoll all remember

Gr983137du983137tio983150

If yoursquove studied all the

material worked on the tips done

the homework and talked through

the lessons with your parents and

family you too can become a

dating academy graduate

As you continue strengthening

these important skills yoursquoll find

support strength and power that

will bless your relationships both

now and in the future You will be

better prepared for happiness NE

Do Try This at HomeInterested in having a dating academy at

home Let your parents know therersquos an RDAarticle for them in this monthrsquos Ensign or atldsorggoRDA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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32 N e w E r a

S U N DA Y L E S S

O N S

This Monthrsquos Topic

Ma r r iage a nd

Fa m i l y

MARRIAGE IS WORTH ITldquoIt is so rewarding to bemarried Marriage is wonder-ful In time you begin to thinkalike and have the same ideasand impressions You havetimes when you are extremelyhappy times of testing andtimes of trial but the Lordguides you through all ofthose growth experiencestogetherrdquo

Elder Richard G Scott of the

Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo

Ensign May 2011 96

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 33

We love being marr ied and he

rersquos why

By Ben and Rachel Nielsen

Letrsquos face it girls (and boys) itrsquos nice to know that someone loves you

And when yoursquore married you have chances to share and receive love every

day When I was talking to my parents about the possibility of marrying

Ben my dad said ldquoWhomever you choose to marry I want him to fre-

quently and sincerely express his love for you like Elder Richard G Scott did

for his wiferdquo3 I listened to Dad

I decided to marry Ben and he has always made an effort to express

his love to me in small and big ways During my senior year of college I

worked for months to prepare apply and interview for a prestigious intern-ship And when I finally heard that I got the job I came home and saw a

vase full of flowers from my husband He knew how hard I had worked and

how much the internship meant to me At other times hersquoll hide my favorite

drink and a love note in the fridge before he heads out for a weekend Scout

camp And every day hersquoll do the dishes and make me laugh Ben is great at

expressing his love for me and that brings both of us great joy

During my mission in Brazil I grew to love soccer One thing that I lovemost about this sport is having teammates and learning how to work together

with my team Rachel is a fantastic teammate She helps me achieve my

goals joins me in making important decisions and is there for me when I

have trouble

When we were sealed in the temple we promised to ldquohelp one another as

equal partnersrdquo2 Rachel and I strive to support each other in everything we

do and itrsquos great to know that I always have a reliable teammate

After our first date we both

knew we wanted to go

on a second date Ben

wanted to go on

another date because Rachel was

friendly and fun to talk to Rachel

wanted to go on another date

because Ben was a gentleman

and was still smiling after all of

his well-laid plans fell through

After the second date plus manymore dates and prayers after

that we fell in love and decided

to get married in the Sacramento

California Temple

The wedding day was abso-

lutely perfect and we have loved

being married ever since The

world may see marriage differ-

ently but we know that ldquono other

relationship of any kind canbring as much joy generate as

much good or produce as much

personal refinementrdquo1 Marriage

is awesome and herersquos why

FROM BEN A T e a m m a t e

FROM RACHEL

E x p r e s s i o n s o f L o v e

WHY MARRIAGE IS

A w e s o m e

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34 N e w E r a

JOIN THE CONVERSATION

Things to Ponder for Sunday

bull What qualities and attitudes make for the strongest

and happiest marriages and families

bull What are you doing now that will help your future

marriage and family stay strong and happy

Things You Might Do

bull Share with some friends your goal of marrying and

having a family and tell them why

bull In church share why you are looking forward

to marriage and family and how you are pre-

paring for them

serving in the Church and inviting others to come unto

Christ As we work together to build the kingdom of God

we grow closer our love deepens and life is more fulfilling

Dating Rachel is so much fun In fact we make surethat we still frequently go on dates even as a married

couple After we first met we found that we enjoy many

of the same activities walking through parks attending

plays watching sporting events eating new and different

food listening to music and so much more I loved doing

these things before I met Rachel but theyrsquore even more

fun now that we get to share them together When yoursquore

married you have someone to enjoy life withmdashand that

makes life awesome

Before I met Ben I was nearing the age of missionary

service and had seriously considered serving a full-time

mission But then Ben entered my life and I knew that

Heavenly Father had a different plan for me

When Ben and I got engaged relatives who knew

about my thoughts to serve a mission asked me about my

choice and I would tell them ldquoI decided that I wanted topick my own missionary companionmdashand stay with him

for eternityrdquo

When yoursquore married you and your spouse have the

chance to participate in the work of salvation together

Ben and I have found great joy in building a Christ-

centered home studying and living the gospel together

Despite what the world may say marriage is awesome

and is worth making a priority When yoursquore married you

have a teammate you give and receive love you enjoy life

more fully and you have someone to build the kingdom

of God with All of that brings us great joy and because

we were sealed in the temple we can have this joy forever

If we keep our covenants we will be together for eternityand receive the crowning blessings of the priesthood We

ldquohave found in marriage the richest fulfillment of human

existencerdquo 4 NE

Ben and Rachel Nielsen live in Utah USA

NOTES

1 L Whitney Clayton ldquoMarriage Watch and Learnrdquo Ensign May 2013 83 2 ldquoThe Family A Proclamation to the Worldrdquo Ensign Nov 2010 129 3 See Richard G Scott ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo Ensign May

2011 96 4 James E Faust ldquoEnriching Your Marriagerdquo Ensign Apr 2007 6

FROM BEN M o r e E n jo y m e n t

FROM RACHEL A n E t e r n a l M is s i o n a r y C o m p a n io n

TAKE IT FROM US

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Your family can help unite the family of GodYou can all share the gospel in natural and pleasant ways

P H O T O I L L U S T R A T I O N B Y D A V I D S T O K E R

M O R M O N A D

(See M Russell Ballard ldquoPut Your Trust in the Lordrdquo Ensign Nov 2013 43)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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36 N e w E r a

By Alex Larsen

I always knew I wanted to be a mother but when I was grow-

ing up it wasnrsquot always on my mind When my fianceacute and I

were engaged one day I was talking with one of my college

professorsmdasha woman I greatly admiredmdashabout my engage-

ment She said something that brought my life choices into sharp

focus ldquoYou are wasting your talentrdquo she told me as she shook

her head She went on to say that someone as smart as I was

should not get married young She assumed I would have chil-

dren in my future and would be ldquothrowing awayrdquo my education

and chances of a stellar career on my future motherhood I could

tell by the way she looked at me that she thought I was making

a terrible and naiumlve mistake

Itrsquos been several years since that conversation and my hus-

band and I have two little girls Kate is three years old and is

my little sweetheart She moves through life at a leisurely pace

savoring all of the little details she notices Annabel is one yearold with bright blue eyes and a head of curls Shersquos exuberant

and determined Though I didnrsquot change my mind because of

what my professor said our discussion has stayed with me In

one way my professorrsquos predictions were correct I do not have

a prestigious working career But my professor got the most

important point wrong because I have wasted nothing

g i v i n

g u p e v e r y

t hi n g

but wh a t

I

g a i n ed

w as w o r t h so much m o r e

T h e wor l d t o l d me

I w ould

b e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 37

their spirits growing and developing I remember

the first time Kate pointed to a picture of the Savior and

said ldquoJesusrdquo I knew then that what I was doing was eter-

nally significant in the lives of my children

The world often tells us that lifersquos rewards come in

the form of status money or grand accomplishments

but I know therersquos great satisfaction even in the small

acts of changing diapers or wiping sticky fingers Every

little thing I do as a mother is part of helping to build the

kingdom of God by nurturing His children I always knew

I wanted children but it was not until I held my first baby

in my arms that I began to realize how much my heart

was capable of loving

The love I have for my daughters has helped me bet-

ter understand how much my Heavenly Father loves all

of His children When speaking of little children Jesustaught that ldquoof such is the kingdom of heavenrdquo (Matthew

1914) More than anything motherhood has helped me

to grow as a daughter of God because now I know what

a daughter of God looks like from the eyes of a parent

The world makes us think that a woman loses herself in

motherhoodmdashshe loses her body her free time and her

career But I have found myself in motherhood I feel

more beautiful and more valuable than ever before NE

Alex Larsen lives in California USA

I love the opportunity to stay home and care for my

young children because these are the most formative

years of their lives I have the opportunity to create a rich

home environment for my girls by reading and discussing

things with them as part of our everyday life Kate will

often astound me by remembering and commenting on

something wersquod read in a book several weeks before and

Annabel learns a new skill almost every day But as fun

and important as it is to watch them learn new

information and skills I feel the

most satisfied when I see

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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38 N e w E r a

One o f t h e g r e a t e s t ad v enture s o f y o u r l i f e w i l l b e y our rol e a n d c a l l i n g a s a f a t her

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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ROcksROcksROcks

NOTE

1 See Thomas S Monson ldquoWelcome to Conferencerdquo Ensign Nov 2012 4ndash5

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 39

DA D D A DD AD

By Chris Deaver

W

hen I was younger I loved spending time

with my dad He always knew the bestgames to play the best stories to tell at night

and the most interesting sports to try It was

like he was born to be a great dad

Fast-forward my life to when I married my sweetheart

Julia and then even further to the moment that our first

child Daniel was born I was filled with a rush of emo-

tions I was happy shocked amazed and a little scared

I felt totally inadequate to be a father and to have the

responsibility of teaching and being an example to my son

But I quickly realized that Irsquod been preparing all my life tobe a dad When I held my son in my arms for the first time

and looked down into his face I felt the Spirit touch my

heart and I realized that I was ready to try to be a great

dad just like my own dad was to me

When Daniel was very young he already had a great

sense of humor He learned to tell hilarious jokes that

would make my wife and me laugh He also often said

things that inspired us Shortly after hearing President

Thomas S Monson announce the change in age require-

ments for young men and young women preparingto serve missions1 we were driving in the car Daniel

announced that he would start preparing himself right

then at age six so he would have 12 years of preparation

Then he said with a smile ldquoDad can I change the song

from lsquoI Hope They Call Me on a Missionrsquo to lsquoI AM Going on

a Missionrsquordquo It was awesome

WHYbeing a

Three years after Daniel was born he was followed by his

brother Austin For me as a dad itrsquos been great to watch bothboys become best friends And Austin has been just as fun

as Daniel in his own way He enjoys building and destroying

block towers and one of his favorite activities is to fearlessly

wrestle me as if I stand no chance against his four-year-old

powers Of course I give in and let him winmdashso I guess I

reinforce his belief But itrsquos so much fun I know hersquoll be a

great wrestler but what I want most is for him to wrestle

ldquoagainst the rulers of the darkness of this worldrdquo and ldquoagainst

spiritual wickednessrdquo like it says in the scriptures (Ephesians

612) And I hope Irsquom helping to prepare him to do that We just recently had our third child a baby girl named

Faith During the delivery my wife was having some com-

plications and we were scared for our baby I gave Julia

a blessing Then she asked me to sing to her The Spirit

brought peace to both of us Soon baby Faith came safely

into the world It was a miracle and she definitely lived up

to her name Faithrsquos beautiful smile brightens my life I canrsquot

express in words how much she means to me

For any young man still wondering let me tell you You

were born to be a great dad The world may not agree butfatherhood is the best Someday yoursquoll find that your kids

inspire you too and that being a dad is the greatest adven-

ture of your life Yes itrsquos a duty and something you need to

take seriously but being a dad is unlike anything else NE

Chris Deaver lives in Florida USA

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40 N e w E r a

We always seem to be encouraged to read more

because well everyone knows that reading is a

good thing But not all books are worth reading and just

because sexual material is written about rather than pho-

tographed or video recorded doesnrsquot mean that itrsquos less

morally hazardous Making a common display of a sacred

intimacy thatrsquos intended to only be part of a marriage rela-

tionship is wrongmdashwhether in words or imagesIf something yoursquore reading contains explicit sexual

descriptions that imprint themselves on your mind and

arouse sexual feelings in the same way that looking at

pornographic images would then guess what Itrsquos pornog-

raphy Remember the counsel in For the Strength of Youth

ldquoChoose wisely when using media because whatever you

read listen to or look at has an effect on you Select only

media that uplifts yourdquo ([2011] 11) NE

T O T H E P O I N T

President Boyd K

Packer President of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoEach

of us must come to ourown personal testimony

of the Lord Jesus Christ

We then share that testi-

mony with our family and

othersrdquo1 It can sometimes

be easy to question the

depth of your testimony

I know looking at pornographic

pictures is wrong but whatabout reading books with

ldquoromanticrdquo scenes

If I donrsquot have a burning

desire to share thegospel does that mean I

donrsquot have a testimony

when you compare your-

self to people like Brigham

Young who once said ldquoI

wanted to thunder and

roar out the gospel to thenations It burned in my

bones like fire pent uprdquo2

So what if you donrsquot feel

fire in your bones

Hopefully your lack of

desire doesnrsquot come from

a lack of concern for your

fellowmen As your faith in

Jesus Christ grows so does

your love of all people a

love that is a mark of the

true followers of Christ (see

Moroni 748 John 1335)

Itrsquos likely however

that your hesitancy sim-

ply comes from fear and

anxiety about speaking toothers For many people

such feelings can be over-

whelming Even prophets

have had doubts about their

ability to speak to people

(see Exodus 410 Moses

631) They of course

had no reason to question

their testimoniesmdashand

neither should you if you

are studying the scriptures

pondering praying fasting

repenting and doing all the

other things that help bring

the Spirit into your life

If you feel you just

need a little extra cour-age to share the gos-

pel visit ldsorggo

shareNE8 for ideas NE

NOTES

1 Boyd K Packer ldquoThe Witnessrdquo Ensign May 2014 96

2 Teachings of Presidents ofthe Church Brigham Young (1997) viii

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C O M E F O L L O W M E

Family

983152983137tter983150 of

President Boyd K PackerPresident of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

April 2014 general conference

The ultimate end

of all activity in

the Church is that

a man and his wife

and their childrencan be happy

at home

The FamilyYoursquoll be studying about the family in your Sunday classes

this month As you study and discuss family you may pon-der these questions Why do Church leaders emphasize

family so much What is the place of family in Heavenly

Fatherrsquos plan How does family help make us happy

To find some answers to these questions see the

family proclamation near the back of your Personal

Progress or Duty to God booklet or online at ldsorg

gofamilyNE8 Yoursquoll also find teachings about

family relationships in general conference talks at

conferenceldsorg

Give yourself an easy reminder to prepare for your

Sunday lessons on the family Just place these cards

in your scriptures locker or bedroom You can also

download or share them online at ldsorggocardsNE8 B A C K G R O U N D T E X T U R E

B Y I S T O C K P H O T O T H I N K S T O C K

We 983150eed We 983150eed

MOR E

983155tre983150983143the983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

RELATIONSHIPS

983153u983137lity 983153u983137lity TIME amp EFFORT INTO

TO PUT

983155re983150983143te983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4452

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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T H E E X T R A S M I L E

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 43

I dont like to pack so I rsquo m just wearing all my stuff

JON CLARK

W h a t m a k e s y o

u t h i n k

D a d rsquo s t a l k i n g t o

t h e

p r o p h e t

B ecaus e h e s ai d h e w as on a conf er ence cal l

RYAN STOKER

F r o m n o w o n j u s t t a k e

a p i c t u r e o f t h e t o o t h a n

d

u p l o a d i t t o m y F a c e b o o k

p a g e

a n d t h e n I rsquo l l s e n d y o u t h e

m o n e y t h r o u g h P a y P a l

RANDY GLASBERGEN

[Gasp] He he made h is bed this morning

And I didnrsquo t even ask

VAL CHADWICK BAGLEY

Who says there arenrsquo t modern m iracles

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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44 N e w E r a

ldquoMymom works

Since you donrsquot see your mom often make sure that

the time you do have together is used well You

could talk to your mom about how to do this She

wants a good relationship with you too and will

help you work on it Try asking her what she would

appreciate coming home to a clean house doing an activity

together just talking with you As you regularly do activities your mom appreciates your relationship will improve

Of course you could plan some fun activities to do together

but any meaningful time togethermdashsuch as washing the dishes

or reading the scripturesmdashcan be a great way to build your

relationship

Also plan time for communication Understanding one

another is a key ingredient in good relationships One thing

to discuss is how your momrsquos work schedule will affect your

relationship with her You can avoid misunderstandings if you

talk about your expectations as well as your momrsquosPrayer will help Families are important to Heavenly Father

so He can inspire you to know how to improve your relation-

ship with your mom Donrsquot ignore a prompting to do something

that seems small (see Alma 376) A hug and a smile for exam-

ple can make a big difference NE

Write a Note

Even if you have very

little time together you

can still express your

love to your mother

Write her thoughtful secret notes As

she reads them at work she will think

of you Do as much as you can for

her Think about her more often and

pray for her Ask the Lord to inspire

you and prompt you regarding how

you can improve your relationship Irinka E 20 Odessa Ukraine

Seek to Understand Her

Try to understand her situation

because she works for your benefit

You can begin by helping with things

at home like cleaning the house

helping your siblings and cooking

You also can share scriptures with

your mom pray together and doactivities that you like to do together

Morony M 18 Chihuahua Mexico

Have a Special Sunday

On some Sundays we

have a special lunch

or dinner with a new

dessert we talk and at

the end we sing hymns This brings

us together and helps us be betterfriends

Rebeca N 12 Satildeo Paulo Brazil

Try an Experiment

We arrange time to be together hav-

ing family home evening playing

games going to the beach having

lunch together All of this helps to

Q U E S T I O N S amp A N S W E R S

all day Howcan I improve our

relationshiprdquo

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4752

keep the flame of a good relationship

alive When we disagree we avoid

criticizing I know that sometimes I

ask not to do housework but this

contributes to disharmony in the

home Since I began this experiment

mdashcomplaining less lowering my

voice helping more with housework

and talking more with my mothermdash

a sweet spirit has developed in our

home and we cooperate more

Glenda C 18 Bahia Brazil

Help at Home

Do some extra chores

around the house Your

mom has been work-

ing all day If she has

less work to do when she gets home

shersquoll probably be happier and have

more time to talk and do things with

you While you are talking you canask about her day at work It will

show her that you care and it will

open doors for other topics of discus-

sion allowing you to grow closer

Heather B 18 Oregon USA

Find Something You BothLike to Do

My mumrsquos relationship with me

skyrocketed when I said ldquoI want tospend more time with you but I donrsquot

know what to do or when to do itrdquo

Playing board games happens to be

our favorite pastime So we set aside

a time together to play laugh and

make memories When you are open

with your parents eventually they

become your best companions You

UPCOMING QUESTION

ldquoMy parents just

got divorced Irsquom angry that they

have broken up our

family How doI forgive themrdquo

Send your answer and photo by

September 15 2014

Go to neweraldsorg click ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo enter your LDS Accountand then select ldquoNew Erardquo

Responses may be edited for length

or clarity

Responses are intended for help and per-

spective not as official pronouncements ofChurch doctrine

will be able to talk to them about

anything and you will be sure of an

honest answer That is the sign of a

mature relationship

Ephraim S 15 New South Wales Australia

Read Scriptures Together

Both of you could set a goal to read

together every day even just five

minutes from the Book of Mormon

or any other Church book It will

strengthen your relationship andnourish you with the word of God

so you can be ready to face each day

Remember also to pray to God and

ask for His help I know He hears you

and loves you

Laura M 19 Coacuterdoba Argentina

LEARN FROM

YOUR MOTHER

ldquoPlease look to yourfaithful mothers fora pattern to followModel yourselves

after them not after celebritieswhose standards are not the Lordrsquosstandards and whose values maynot reflect an eternal perspectiveLook to your mother Learn fromher strengths her courage andher faithfulness Listen to her She

may not be a whiz at texting shemay not even have a Facebookpage But when it comes to mat-ters of the heart and the thingsof the Lord she has a wealth ofknowledgerdquo

Elder M Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles ldquoMothers and Daughtersrdquo

Ensign May 2010 19

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46 N e w E r a

MISERABLE TOTHE END OFTHE STREET

For one family home evening my

dad wanted to take advantage

of a pause in the rainy weather

to go on a walk around the neighbor-

hood I grumbled and complained

that it was too wet and muddy to

go walking I used the excuse that

I had a ballet recital that week and

didnrsquot want to sprain an ankle but

my dad didnrsquot buy it He insisted thatit was going to be the activity for the

evening I murmured a bit more about

the unfairness and my recital but we

left on the walk anyway

As I glumly stomped outside for

the walk with my family I was deter-

mined not to smile or be happy I

succeeded in feeling miserable until

I N S T A N T M E S S A G E S

we reached the end of the street Then

we turned the corner and I saw in full

force naturersquos beauty and wonder

Before me was a gorgeous sunset

and opposite it was a rainbow arching

above our neighborhood rooftops

I immediately forgot all about being

miserable and looked around in awe

On the way home I said a prayer of

gratitude thanking God for the beautyof His creations I later thanked my

dad for choosing the activity and for

allowing us to enjoy nature for that

family home evening

Jennie H North Carolina USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 47

STANDARDS AND FRIENDS

Since Irsquove been in school Irsquove had friends who havenrsquot understood the

moral standards of our religion At first it was difficult but over time

my friends have become used to the idea of my being morally clean I

made a goal in my life to be clean and pure and itrsquos worked out well both

for me and for those who used to criticize me Over time respect peace and

joy have become a part of our loving circle of friends

Vitoacuteria M Brazil

A DIFFICULT DECISION

FORGIVINGMY FRIENDS

As the only member of the

Church in my peer group

Irsquove experienced some

instances when my friends have

offended me Sometimes they judge

and criticize my religion I feel so

alone yet Irsquom thankful I know the

standards of the Church

If my friends offend me I try to

humble myself and avoid contention

because I know contention is evil When they start discussing some mat-

ters about the Church I just testify of

my belief in the gospel

I always forgive my friends with or

without their apology Forgiving is not

just about saying ldquoApology acceptedrdquo

or ldquoItrsquos OKrdquo because forgiveness has

a deep meaning Jesus Christ atoned

for our sins so that Heavenly Father

can forgive usEven though my friends donrsquot

understand my faith now I know that

I can be Godrsquos instrument to teach

them the gospel I am helping them

and at the same time I am helping

myself to grow spiritually and prepare

to serve a mission

Joshua V Philippines

As volleyball tryouts approached for my senior year in high

school I couldnrsquot believe the thought that was running through

my head I wasnrsquot supposed to play volleyball Irsquod played vol-

leyball since seventh grademdashwhy should this year be any different

Not seeing the sense in quitting I ignored the feeling and continued

to participate in summer volleyball events After a while the feeling

came back so I decided that if I really wasnrsquot supposed to be on the

team my coach would just cut me during tryouts

Then one night at the gym I couldnrsquot focus on the game at all I felt

terrible and restless inside I came home frustrated with my team and

with myself I sat next to my mom and sister and cried I told them

how confused I was and my mom told me to pray and ask Heavenly

Father what He wanted me to do I went up to my room and began to

pray I told Heavenly Father how I felt then I asked Him to help mefeel peace if I was not supposed to continue playing volleyball I felt

His peace in my heart and knew that I needed to quit

Irsquom still not sure all the reasons why that was the right

decision but I know that itrsquos what the Lord

wanted me to do and thatrsquos a good

enough reason for me

The next morning I told my

coach and my teammates that

I wasnrsquot going to be playing

Even though it was incrediblyhard I knew I was doing

the right thing

Klaire B Arizona USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5252

WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 1752

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 15

WHAT KEPT ME STRONG

D983137ily P983137yer

As a teenager in an area with-

out a lot of Church members

I found that daily prayer was one

of the most important things that

helped me stay spiritually strong

I made sure to pray every day and

developed a pattern that helped

memdashmorning and evening prayers

When I heard

my father prayfor the rst timel felt something

wonderful

MORNING PRAYERS

Every morning I would share with

the Lord

bull My plans for the day

bull What I wanted to do

bull What I thought the Lord

wanted me to do

I would present my plans to

God and then ask for the Lordrsquos

help in accomplishing them

EVENING PRAYERS

Every evening I would

bull Report on how my day went

and if I had accomplished the

things I had set out to do

bull Share things that had been

difficult for me

bull Share things that I had learned

from people or through the

Spirit that dayThe more I prayed the more

I learned to understand and

receive impressions from the

Holy Ghost These impressions

helped me gain more strength

to follow the direction of the

Lord NE

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 1852

16 N e w E r a

With canteen in hand I was prepared for my

second 50-mile hike and campout in the

Uinta Mountains I was about as well pre-

pared as a 14-year-old could be My equip-

ment was all set to go my boots were sturdy and my pack

was full of all the essentials

The day of the hike arrived and our

leaders reminded our group of young men

that the mountains could be very danger-

ous Hikers and campers were often lost

in the rugged hills and on the numerous

trails We were warned not to wander

away from the path Our leadersmdashmy

father includedmdashall seemed concerned

for our safety and were anxious to keep

us from straying off of our chosen pathBeing one of the stronger hikers and

a leader in the group I soon found myself

and three other boys leading the way

Sometimes we waited for our group at the

forks in the trail to make sure we followed

the correct path and would not become lost

We hiked for hours laughing and joking all the way We

were having a great time Suddenly we heard frantic calls

and the sounds of running We knew something must have

gone wrong We wondered if maybe some of the grouphad become lost I was concerned for the friends Irsquod left

behind with the leaders Something bad must have happened

We stopped to listen so we could hear what the distant

voices were yelling We heard our names More specifically

I heard my name being called I recognized my fatherrsquos

voice We called back and heard their heavy footsteps coming

in our direction

Something bad had happened We learned that

four of the boys in our group had strayed from

the correct path and had become lost It was us

We were the ones who were lost My father was

thankful to have finally found us and together we

began the hike back to the correct trail

In my head I retraced my footsteps I couldnrsquot

figure out how Irsquod become lost I felt like I was

still on the original path Irsquod been so sure We

retraced our steps and my father showed us aturn we had missed It was just a small path with

a little hidden sign marking the correct way

We had hiked two miles off the right trail

We were thankful wersquod been found

before dark For the rest of the hike

we stayed close to our leaders and the rest of the

group and were never in danger again

Sometimes our overconfidence as youth

gives us an unrealistic sense of independence

We push on without consulting our parentsor leaders We fail to ask for advice We feel

By Duncan Anderson

Mile Hike

The

We stoppedto listen so we

could hear whatthe distant voices

were yellingWe heard ournames We

called back andheard their heavyfootsteps comingin our direction

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 17

certain wersquore headed in a direction leading to the right

destination We laugh and joke and enjoy the path until itrsquos

too late too dark and wersquore lost

When it comes to choosing the right trails in life our

Heavenly Father has provided tools to guide us and keep us

on the path that leads to Him We have the scriptures prayer

and revelation our parents guidelines like For the Strength

of Youth and our Church leaders to guide us through the

countless options life offers

When we do stray off the path itrsquos often our loving parents

and dedicated leaders who come to the rescue They can

guide us back to the correct way and show us where we

went wrong Through repentance we can correct those

wrongs and start fresh on the right path headed toward the

destination that will give us eternal happiness and a life in the

presence of our Heavenly Father NE

Duncan Anderson lives in Utah USA

CHOOSING RIGHT PATHS

ldquoI plead with you to make a determi-nation right here right now notto deviate from the path which willlead to our goal eternal life with ourFather in Heaven Along that straight

and true path there are other goals missionaryservice temple marriage Church activity scripturestudy prayer temple work There are countless wor-thy goals to reach as we travel through life Neededis our commitment to reach themrdquo

President Thomas S Monson ldquoThe Three Rs of Choicerdquo

Ensign Nov 2010 68

NEED ADVICE

Is there anything yoursquod like advice on Donrsquot be afraid to ask your

parents or Church leaders Remember they are there to help you

no matter what yoursquod like to talk about

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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One of the things we agree

to do as part of the bap-

tismal covenant is ldquoto

stand as witnesses of

God at all times and in all things and in

all places that [we] may be inrdquo (Mosiah

189) And incidentally we renew this

covenant every week when we partake

of the sacramentIn the April 2014 general conference

several speakers reminded us that there

will be times when standing as a witness

of God will mean having to face oppo-

sition criticism and ridicule So what

should you do when yoursquore required

to take the uncomfortable uncool or

unpopular step of defending your beliefs

By David A Edwards

Church Magazines

Be brave and humble firm and gentle

all at the same time With the Lordrsquos

help itrsquos not as hard as it sounds

18 N e w E r a

of Defe983150di983150983143Your Beliefs

Dorsquos 983137983150d

Donrsquots

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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you should rely on the Spiritto guide your defense of your

faith Bear testimony by the

Spirit Thatrsquos the Lordrsquos way

(See also DampC 1005ndash8)

The point here is not that

you should avoid any discus-

sion in which people have dif-

fering points of view Rather it

has to do with your intent as

well as the emotions involved

We should seek understand-

ing and try to persuade withmeekess not just score points

and prove wersquore right and

someone else is wrong A

discussion where people are

getting really worked up and

angry is one you should either

try to soften or simply avoid

Heavenly Father has given

you the gift of the Holy Ghost

and you should take advan-

tage of this gift This doesnrsquot

mean reason and logic canrsquot

be inspired or confirmed by

the Spirit it just means that

Elder W Craig Zwick of

the Seventy has explained

this scripture this way ldquoA lsquosoft

answerrsquo consists of a reasoned

responsemdashdisciplined words

from a humble heart It does

not mean we never speak

directly or that we compro-

mise doctrinal truth Words

that may be firm in infor-

mation can be soft in spiritrdquo

(ldquoWhat Are You Thinkingrdquo

Ensign May 2014 42)

ldquoA SOFT ANSWER TURNETH AWAY

wr983137thBUT

GRIEVOUS WORDS stir u983152 983137983150983143errdquo

(Proverbs 151)

ldquoBeholdI send you forthas sheep in the

midst of wolves be ye therefore wise as serpents

and h983137r983149less as dovesrdquo

(Matthew 1016)

The Savior doesnrsquot want

you to be ignorant or naiumlve

but He also doesnrsquot want you

to attack anyone Knowing

what goes on in the world

doesnrsquot mean we have to

use its tactics

ldquoCONTEND AGAINST

NO CHURCHrdquo (DampC 1820)

There is no need to

criticize other churches

Positive statements of your

beliefs rather than negative

statements about others will

be most effective As the

Prophet Joseph Smith said

ldquoWe donrsquot ask any people

to throw away any good

they have got we only ask

them to come and get morerdquo

(Teachings of Presidents

of the Church Joseph

Smith [2007] 155)

ldquoAND THOUSHALT DECLARE

983143l983137d tidi983150983143s ldquoAND THOU SHALTDO IT WITH 983137ll hu983149ilityTRUSTING IN ME 983154evili983150983143 983150ot

AGAINST REVILERSrdquo

(DampC 1929ndash30)

The tidings you declare

are glad Remember that

and make sure your face and

your voice show it too Also

the word revile here means

to hurl abusive or insulting

language at a person So if

ldquoFOR I AM

NOT ASHAMED

OF THE GOSPEL OF CHRISTrdquo

(Romans 116)

As President Thomas S

Monson has said ldquoWe will all

face fear experience ridiculeand meet opposition Let

usmdashall of usmdashhave the courage

to defy the consensus the

courage to stand for prin-

ciple Courage not com-

promise brings the smile of

Godrsquos approvalrdquo (ldquoBe Strong

and of a Good Couragerdquo

Ensign May 2014 69)

The scriptures give you some basic principles for standing up for your faith including the following

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 19

ldquoWe s983152e983137k

NOT IN THE WORDS which 983149983137983150rsquos

WISDOM TEACH ETH

but which THE HOLY GHOST

TEACHETHrdquo

(1 Corinthians 213)

ldquoHE THATHATH THE

SPIRIT OF CONTENTIONIS NOT OF ME

BUT ISOF THE DEVIL

WHO IS THE FATHER OFCONTENTION AND

HE STIRRETH UPTHE HEARTS

OF MEN

TO CONTEND WITH ANGER

ONE WITH ANOTHERrdquo(3 Nephi 1129)

HERErsquoS SOME ADVICE FROM THE SCRIPTURES

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2252

How Do You Defend Do you have experi-ence in defending yourbeliefs Or do you haveideas to add to theselists Go to ldsorggodefendNE8 and share

Finding Courage

Read more on this topic atldsorggocourageNE8

someonersquos doing that to you

donrsquot retaliate and do the

same thing back to them The

Apostle Peter taught that the

Savior Himself gave the exam-

ple you should follow in thisregard (see 1 Peter 223)

ldquoLOVE YOUR ENEMIESbless them

that curse you

DO GOOD TO T HEMTHAT HATE YOU

and pray for

them which

DESPITEFULLY USE YOUAND PERSECUTE YOUrdquo

(Matthew 544)ldquoSEE THAT YE ARE NOT lifted u983152 u983150to

983152ride ye983137 SEE THAT YE DO

NOT BOAST IN YOUR

OWN WISDOM

983150or of your 983149uch stre983150983143thldquoUSE BOLDNESS

BUT NOT

OVERBEARANCErdquo (Alma 3811ndash12)

Here the word tenets

refers to opinions or teachings

that go beyond the basics So

the Lord is saying to stick to

the basic message of the gos-

pel when yoursquore declaring Hisglad tidings This also applies

to defending your faith

You donrsquot need to stray into

detailed discussions about

every little thing related to the

Church As Elder Richard G

Scott of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles has said

ldquoKeep your sharing of the

gospel simple rdquo (ldquo lsquoI HaveGiven You an Examplerdquo

Ensign May 2014 34)

ldquoEveryone independent

of his or her decisions and

beliefs deserves our kind-

ness and considerationrdquo said

Elder Neil L Andersen of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles ldquoThe Savior

taught us to love not only

our friends but also those

who disagree with usmdashand

even those who repudiate

usrdquo (ldquoSpiritual Whirlwindsrdquo

Ensign May 2014 20)

Again be humble Itrsquos not

about you or how smart and

capable you are Also you can

be bold without making over-

blown statements or being

a verbal or intellectual bully

As Elder Jeffrey R Holland

of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoYou willone day find yourself called

upon to defend your faith

Such moments will require

both courage and courtesy

on your partrdquo (ldquoThe Costmdashand

Blessingsmdashof Discipleshiprdquo

Ensign May 2014 6)

ldquoA983150d of te983150ets thou sh983137lt 983150ot t983137lk but thou shalt

declare repentance andfaith on the Savior and 983154e983149issio983150 of si983150sby baptism and by fire

yea even the Holy Ghostrdquo(DampC 1931)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2452

22 N e w E r a

I received my first two-wheel bicycle

when I was eight years old With

the help of my older brother and

father I began the rather scary pro-

cess of figuring out how to ride it The other kids in the neighborhood

made it look so easy and natural as

they zoomed up and down the street

on their bikes I perched on the bike

seatmdashwhich seemed to be at least

10 feet (3 m) above the groundmdashand

realized there was absolutely noth-

ing to keep me from falling over and

proving that the law of gravity was

alive and well As I tried riding I learned quickly

that if I wanted to stay balanced I had

to keep pedaling When I first sat on

the seat speed was the last thing I

wanted to add to the already daunting

equation But I very soon understood

the wisdom and the physics involved

in moving forward As long as I kept

pedaling I could stay upright and

avoid the rough concrete just waiting

to take the skin off my arms and legs

Soon I was zipping around the neigh-

borhood with my friends

Defy Gr983137vity Defy Gr983137vity

of the First Presidency as outlined

in that booklet our lives will be bal-

anced and steady We will be led

where we want to go

We need to keep moving forwardto avoid falling To do that we should

consistently and faithfully do certain

actions

bull Pray morning and night

bull Study the scriptures daily

bull Attend Church meetings and par-

take of the sacrament worthily

bull Serve those around us

bull Be worthy to attend the temple

All of these actions keep us moving

forward in the right direction

Thatrsquos why reading and being famil-

iar with the standards described in For

the Strength of Youth will help ensure

we are making choices consistent with

Godrsquos standards Living these princi-

ples and keeping the commandments

F O R T H E S T R E N G T H O F Y O U T H

By Bonnie LOscarson

Young WomenGeneral President

As you keep moving forward you can stay upright even

when outside forces try to pull you down

Just as those who keep

pedaling a bike can stay

upright despite gravityrsquos

influence those who are

guided by the Holy Spirit in

all they do can withstand

the influence of theadversary

So it is with living the gospel and

the standards in For the Strength of

Youth It takes faith to believe that if

we consistently follow the counsel

GO FORWARD WITH FAITH

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 23

invite the Holy Ghost to be our con-

stant companion Just as those who

keep pedaling a bike can stay upright

despite gravityrsquos influence those who

are guided by the Holy Spirit in allthey do can withstand the influence of

the adversary

What are the destinations you have

in mind as you pedal forward For all

young men of the Aaronic Priesthood

preparing now for a full-time mission

is important in forward growth For

all youth being prepared to go to the

temple and receive the endowment by

making and keeping sacred covenantsshould also be a primary goal

As the message from the First

Presidency at the beginning of For the

Strength of Youth says ldquoIn all that you

do stay focused on the temple In the

temple you will receive the greatest

of all the Lordrsquos blessings including

marriage for time and all eternityrdquo1

Receiving the covenant of eternal

marriage in the house of the Lord and

becoming righteous husbands wives

fathers and mothers may seem far

down the road but the time to beginpreparing is now All of these things

lead to the most glorious and grand

destination of allmdasheternal life with

our Heavenly Father

One of my favorite scriptures

sums up what we need to do in order

to keep moving toward our goals

ldquoWherefore ye must press forward

with a steadfastness in Christ hav-

ing a perfect brightness of hopeand a love of God and of all men

Wherefore if ye shall press forward

feasting upon the word of Christ and

endure to the end behold thus saith

the Father Ye shall have eternal liferdquo

(2 Nephi 3120)

Just as I learned as an eight-year-

old girl that I needed to keep pedaling

and moving forward in order to defy

gravity and keep my balance on my

bicycle it is important for all of us to

keep moving forward with faith trust-

ing in the counsel of living prophetsand a loving Heavenly Father to keep

us from falling Some of our destina-

tions are just down the road while

others will take a lifetime of faithful

living to achieve The promises of

what lies at the end of the road if we

are faithful are certain and glorious

and well worth the ride NE

NOTE

1 For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

Learn MoreSee whatrsquos next in your covenant path

at ldsorggocovenantNE8

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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24 N e w E r a

BOA R D

GA M E S

B y Da vid Chris tensen

My chance to play le f t

a lasting impact but it

wasnrsquot what Irsquod e xpected

L o s i n

g s o

q u i c k

l y w

a s b

a d e

n o u

g h

b

u t t o

m a k

e m

a t t e r s

w o r s e

t h

e o t h

e r g

u y

s s t a r t e

d t o

m a k

e

f u n

o f

m e

I

t r i e d

t o c o

n t i n

u e

p l a y i n g

e v e

n t h

o u

g h

t h e y

w e r

e b

e i n

g m

e a n

b

u t i t

w a s h

a r d t o h o

l d b

a c k m y t e

a r s

o f f r u s t

r a t i o n

U

n f o

r t u n a t e l y

o n e t e

a r t r i c k l e

d d

o w

n m y

c h e e

k b

e f o

r e I

c o u

l d w i p

e i t

a w a y M

y b

r o t h

e r

s a w i t

a n d

t e a s e

d m

e t o

o

I c o

u l d

n rsquo t

t a k e i t

a n y

m o r e

a n d

r a n t o

m y

r o o m

I g a v e m y s e l

f a q u i c k p i n

c h

t o m a k e s u r

e I w a s n rsquo

t d r e a m i n g

a n d t h e

n I v o i c e d

a t i m i d ldquo Y e

a h

s u r e rdquo I s t

i l l c o u l d

n rsquo t b e l i e

v e t h a t

m y b r o t h e

r h a d i n v

i t e d m e t o

p l a y a g a m e w i t h

t h e ldquo b i g k i

d s rdquo

A f t e r a l l

I rsquo d b e e n t o l d f o r t h

r e e

y e a r s t h a

t I w a s s t i l l

t o o y o u

n g

t o p l a y m o r e d i f fi

c u l t b o a

r d

g a m e s w i t h m y b r o

t h e r a n d

h i s f r i e n d s

A N D B R O

T H

E R S

I

felt the hot tears of anger slowly slide

down my face I wiped them away with

my hand but I could still feel the

slightly salty taste on my lips assobs of anguish began to pour out

I just wanted to hang out with my

brother Why couldnrsquot he be my

friend too

J u s t a f e w

h o u r s

b e f o

r e I h a d

s t a r e d a t

m y o

l d e r b

r o t h

e r S t e v e

i n c o

m p

l e t e s u r p

r i s e

w a i t i n

g f o r h

i m t o

t e

l l

m e t h

a t h e w

a s o n

l y

j o k i n g ldquo W

e l l d o y o

u

w a n

t t o p

l a y rdquo S t e v e

a s k e d i m p

a

t i e n t l y

I w

e n t i n t o t h e

r o o m w h

e r e t h e

o l d e r b o y s

w e r e

s e t t i n g u p

t h e b o a r d

g a m e A s t h e

g a m e s t a r t e d

w i t h

e v e r y o n e s t r a t e g i c a l l y

p l a c i n g

t h e i r g a m

e

p i e c e s

I f e l t l i k e

I w

a s d r e a

m i n g F o r

t h e fi r s t t i m

e

I f e l t e q u a l t o

m y b r o t h e r mdash

n o t l i k e I

w a s j u s t h i s

t a g a l o n g

T h e d r e a m

e n d e d q u i c k

l y h o w e v e r

T h e

g a m e w

a s t o u g h

a n d m y i n

e x p e r i e n c e

a n d l a c k

o f k n o w l e d g e

b e c

a m e

p a i n f u l l y o b v i o u s

a s t h e o t

h e r

p l a y e r s q u i c k l y

a n d

s o u n d l y d e f e a t e d

m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2752

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2852

26 N e w E r a

Le983137r983150i983150983143 the i983150s 983137983150d outs of d983137ti983150983143 c983137983150 be h983137rd Let this course tur983150 you

i983150to 983137 d983137ti983150983143 983152ro

By Matthew ORichardson

Served as Second

Counselor in theSunday SchoolGeneral Presidencyfrom 2009 to 2014

hile speaking to youth about how to prepare for a celestial marriage

President Thomas S Monson emphasized that ldquoproper dating is a part

of preparation for marriagerdquo 1 Have you thought much about happy

relationships Elder Russell M Nelson of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said a ldquocelestial marriage brings greater possibilities for happiness than

does any other relationshiprdquo2

When I was serving as bishop in a young single adult ward I worried about those

who approached dating with very little purpose understanding or direction This

caused me to wonder if my own children would be any different when their time came

My wife and I decided to help our children prepare for ldquoproper datingrdquo and happy rela-tionships by creating the Richardson Dating Academy or RDA as our children call it

It wasnrsquot long after we started the RDA that friends of our children wanted to partici-

pate and even become RDA graduates So how about you Are you ready to become a

dating academy graduate yourself Class is in session

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2952

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 27

Lesso983150 1 ur983152oses 983137983150d St983137983150d983137rds of D983137ti983150983143

Lesso983150 2 W983137tch 983137983150d Le983137r983150

Homework

As you know ldquodatingrdquo means different things to differ-

ent people Your first assignment is to figure out just what

a ldquodaterdquo is according to Church standards Can you explain

the purposes of dating and the specific dating standards and

guidelines set by the Church Or do you know when itrsquosmost appropriate to be involved in dating and steady dating

(having a boyfriend or girlfriend)

You can find answers to these questions in the ldquoDatingrdquo

section of For the Strength of Youth The First Presidency

reminds us why knowing and understanding these stan-

dards are so important They promise ldquoThe standards in this

Elder Jeffrey R Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles once explained that most athletic contests have ldquolines

drawn on the floor or the field within which every participant

must stay in order to competerdquo3 Success depends on how

well a competitor knows and stays within the set boundaries

Likewise itrsquos important to know the ldquodating linesrdquo or the pur-

poses and standards of dating as taught by Church leaders

One of the most com-

mon ways people learn

is by watching others

Dating is no different

In the dating academy

we spend time observ-

ing others in dating

situations In our family

we learned many point-ersmdashsome to do others

to avoidmdashby watching

dates in progress at

restaurants and other

settings Yes we went to

certain places with the

sole purpose to observe

dates for ldquoclassrdquo

booklet will help you with the important choices you are

making now and will yet make in the futurerdquo4

Now that you have a solid foundation of the stan-

dards and purposes of dating (you did do your home-

work and read that section didnrsquot you) itrsquos time to move

on to lesson 2

Tips

Here are some suggestions that will help you learn

as you observe

bull Watch but donrsquot be creepy This is about learning from

others but not stalking staring or even judging Look for

things you like and things you would like to avoid

bull Go to a variety of places and settings to observe others

Not every date is the same nor should it be Watch how thesetting affects the experience

bull Watch how people interact with each other Can you tell

who is with whom Are they paying attention to each

other In what ways Are they talking with each other Do

they look like they enjoy being with each other How can

you tell if they are having fun

bull Talk with a parent leader or good friends and share what

you noticed and what you learned

Homework

The next time you go

out to eat attend a movie

or go to almost any activ-

ity make an effort to look

around and see how other

people are interacting It

may surprise you to see

how much dating is actu-ally going on Take the

time to learn from those

around you by paying

attention to whatrsquos work-

ing and what isnrsquot

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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28 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 3 l983137983150983150i983150983143 983137 D983137te

Tips

bull Start planning early

bull Donrsquot be afraid to bounce ideas off your friendsparents and others They can provide excellent

suggestions that you havenrsquot even thought about

bull Make sure you let your budget amount of time

available the reasons for dating and Church stan-

dards guide your planning

bull Think of what you hope will happen during the

date from beginning to end This helps you realize

what needs to be done to make the date a success

bull Pay attention to details Call ahead for event times

prices menus and what the proper dress is for

the occasion

bull Plan for emergencies For example what will you

do if you donrsquot have enough money or have car

trouble What if your date gets sick

Homework

Rather than leaving everything to chance dating acad-

emy grads understand what needs to happen and theyplan accordingly

Your homework assignment even if yoursquore years away

from dating is to practice planning an event You can

brainstorm with friends really fun ideas for a date Then

work together to think of what planning is required to

make those ideas actually happen Or you can ask your

parents to let you plan the next family outing

You might choose a place to eat or what to do Plan all

the details (event times travel time cost backup plans)

and then put your plan into action You could evencome up with a dating plan complete with backup ideas

if something goes wrong and share it in family home

evening while talking together around the dinner table

or with friends You may find that properly planning an

activity is almost as much fun as the actual date

The quality of experience yoursquoll have with others is

often determined by what happens before a date begins

Showing up on your datersquos doorstep with no plan is a

recipe for an awkward experience Nobody likes playing

the ldquoWhat do you want to dordquo game

Yoursquore better than that With a little practice you can

become a date-planning champion And young women

no fair skipping this section While most of the time young

men plan and ask for dates yoursquoll still want to have these

skills down for when itrsquos your turn

Group Date IdeasNeed ideas Check out ldsorggoideasNE8 Some

of the youth activities there could be adapted for dates

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Homework

In the Richardson Dating Academy all of our

children practiced dating invitations For example

our children might call an aunt older sibling or other

family member to practice inviting someone on a

date Or our son or daughter would receive an invita-

tion from a family member and practice responding

They learned how to deal with rejection acceptance

or even a disinterested response or two

Now itrsquos your turn Working with your parents ask

them to line up somebody in your family you can call

and practice inviting on a date Make sure you do this

more than once

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 29

You know your dating standards front and back

yoursquove watched others in dating situations and

yoursquove come up with a solid date plan

Congratulations Now you still need to invite

someone Or you need to know how to respond

when you are invited So whatrsquos the best way A

phone call Ask in person Here are some different

points to consider

Lesso983150 4 I983150viti983150983143 Others 983137983150d Bei983150983143 I983150vited

Tips

bull Be ready to give details when you invite

someone on a date Talk about what you have

planned start and end times whorsquos participat-ing and how they should dress (casual dressy

etc) Your excellent planning from academy

lesson 3 makes this part of the academy easy

bull Therersquos a time to talk by phone and a time to

ask face-to-face The more important the event

is the more personal the invitation should be

Donrsquot be afraid to skip technology and actually

talk with someone

bull Some events may require you to speak with

your datersquos parents first This shows respectand courtesy

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30 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 5 O983150 the D983137te

It would be impossible for any dating academy to cover

every little thing to consider or plan for in dating So much

depends on good judgment communication with your par-

ents and listening to the Spirit

Still here are a few key points you might want to brush

up on before putting your date plan into action

Tips

bull Develop a ldquoyou firstrdquo attitude This means you always

think of your date first Is he or she having fun Is he or

she comfortable

bull Make sure you dress appropriately for the occasion

The way you dress usually communicates how you feelabout others and about the event Know the difference

between casual (but never sloppy) semiformal and

formal and when it would be appropriate to dress in

those ways

bull Show common courtesy by opening doors saying

thank you talking less about yourself and more about

your date and extending sincere compliments

bull Learn how to navigate restaurants Know how to make

a reservation get a table calculate a service tip and

pay the bill

Homework

Once again the best way to learn any good skill is by practic-

ing it Our youth enjoyed role-playing different situations

to think about how to act most appropriately We

also loved going out to eat as part of the dating acad-

emy experience Our children learned how to act in

a restaurant order a meal calculate the tip and paythe bill by actually doing it when they were with us

Look for opportunities to practice skills you should use on a

date For example the next time you and your family go some-

where ask your parents to let you purchase the tickets order

the meal or calculate the tip Treat your family or friends with

the same respect and courtesy that you should show others on a

date Open doors for your family be the first to say ldquothank yourdquo

and pay attention so you are part of the conversation

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 31

Lesso983150 6 The Doorste983152

NOTES

1 Thomas S Monson ldquoPreparation BringsBlessingsrdquo Ensign May 2010 64

2 Russell M Nelson ldquoCelestial Marriagerdquo Ensign Nov 2008 93

3 Jeffrey R Holland ldquoWe Are All Enlistedrdquo Ensign Nov 2011 45

4 ldquoMessage to the Youth from The First Presi-dencyrdquo For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

5 John Bytheway ldquoWhat Do Kisses Meanrdquo New Era Oct 2004 38ndash41

Last but not least dating

academy graduates know how

to conclude a date on the right

note Nothing sours a great date

more than a bad ending

Herersquos how you can finish a

date with success

Tips

bull Express gratitude Be sincere

and to the point If there was something you especially

liked tell your date what

it was

bull Therersquos no reason for drag-

ging things on at this point

Yoursquove already spent plenty

of time together Avoid the

ldquodoorstep shufflerdquo When

people arenrsquot sure what to

say they tend to shuffle backand forth or move their feet

in place If you find yourself

ldquoshufflingrdquo in place itrsquos a

pretty good signal that you

need to say good-bye

bull Know and follow the

Churchrsquos counsel on kissing

and physical intimacy (You

might also want to read John

Bythewayrsquos article ldquoWhat Do

Kisses Meanrdquo5 at ldsorggo

kissesNE8)

Homework

Yes herersquos another opportunity for practicing Our family has spent several family

home evenings role-playing doorstep good-byes Itrsquos been both helpful and fun to

watch an older sibling coach the younger sibling with dorsquos and donrsquots

Most memorable was an older sister showing how she could turn a hug into a

handshake with the grace of a princess and the speed of a ninja You too can get

together with family members and role-play different scenarios that might happen on

a doorstep We guarantee itrsquoll be an academy night yoursquoll all remember

Gr983137du983137tio983150

If yoursquove studied all the

material worked on the tips done

the homework and talked through

the lessons with your parents and

family you too can become a

dating academy graduate

As you continue strengthening

these important skills yoursquoll find

support strength and power that

will bless your relationships both

now and in the future You will be

better prepared for happiness NE

Do Try This at HomeInterested in having a dating academy at

home Let your parents know therersquos an RDAarticle for them in this monthrsquos Ensign or atldsorggoRDA

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32 N e w E r a

S U N DA Y L E S S

O N S

This Monthrsquos Topic

Ma r r iage a nd

Fa m i l y

MARRIAGE IS WORTH ITldquoIt is so rewarding to bemarried Marriage is wonder-ful In time you begin to thinkalike and have the same ideasand impressions You havetimes when you are extremelyhappy times of testing andtimes of trial but the Lordguides you through all ofthose growth experiencestogetherrdquo

Elder Richard G Scott of the

Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo

Ensign May 2011 96

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 33

We love being marr ied and he

rersquos why

By Ben and Rachel Nielsen

Letrsquos face it girls (and boys) itrsquos nice to know that someone loves you

And when yoursquore married you have chances to share and receive love every

day When I was talking to my parents about the possibility of marrying

Ben my dad said ldquoWhomever you choose to marry I want him to fre-

quently and sincerely express his love for you like Elder Richard G Scott did

for his wiferdquo3 I listened to Dad

I decided to marry Ben and he has always made an effort to express

his love to me in small and big ways During my senior year of college I

worked for months to prepare apply and interview for a prestigious intern-ship And when I finally heard that I got the job I came home and saw a

vase full of flowers from my husband He knew how hard I had worked and

how much the internship meant to me At other times hersquoll hide my favorite

drink and a love note in the fridge before he heads out for a weekend Scout

camp And every day hersquoll do the dishes and make me laugh Ben is great at

expressing his love for me and that brings both of us great joy

During my mission in Brazil I grew to love soccer One thing that I lovemost about this sport is having teammates and learning how to work together

with my team Rachel is a fantastic teammate She helps me achieve my

goals joins me in making important decisions and is there for me when I

have trouble

When we were sealed in the temple we promised to ldquohelp one another as

equal partnersrdquo2 Rachel and I strive to support each other in everything we

do and itrsquos great to know that I always have a reliable teammate

After our first date we both

knew we wanted to go

on a second date Ben

wanted to go on

another date because Rachel was

friendly and fun to talk to Rachel

wanted to go on another date

because Ben was a gentleman

and was still smiling after all of

his well-laid plans fell through

After the second date plus manymore dates and prayers after

that we fell in love and decided

to get married in the Sacramento

California Temple

The wedding day was abso-

lutely perfect and we have loved

being married ever since The

world may see marriage differ-

ently but we know that ldquono other

relationship of any kind canbring as much joy generate as

much good or produce as much

personal refinementrdquo1 Marriage

is awesome and herersquos why

FROM BEN A T e a m m a t e

FROM RACHEL

E x p r e s s i o n s o f L o v e

WHY MARRIAGE IS

A w e s o m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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34 N e w E r a

JOIN THE CONVERSATION

Things to Ponder for Sunday

bull What qualities and attitudes make for the strongest

and happiest marriages and families

bull What are you doing now that will help your future

marriage and family stay strong and happy

Things You Might Do

bull Share with some friends your goal of marrying and

having a family and tell them why

bull In church share why you are looking forward

to marriage and family and how you are pre-

paring for them

serving in the Church and inviting others to come unto

Christ As we work together to build the kingdom of God

we grow closer our love deepens and life is more fulfilling

Dating Rachel is so much fun In fact we make surethat we still frequently go on dates even as a married

couple After we first met we found that we enjoy many

of the same activities walking through parks attending

plays watching sporting events eating new and different

food listening to music and so much more I loved doing

these things before I met Rachel but theyrsquore even more

fun now that we get to share them together When yoursquore

married you have someone to enjoy life withmdashand that

makes life awesome

Before I met Ben I was nearing the age of missionary

service and had seriously considered serving a full-time

mission But then Ben entered my life and I knew that

Heavenly Father had a different plan for me

When Ben and I got engaged relatives who knew

about my thoughts to serve a mission asked me about my

choice and I would tell them ldquoI decided that I wanted topick my own missionary companionmdashand stay with him

for eternityrdquo

When yoursquore married you and your spouse have the

chance to participate in the work of salvation together

Ben and I have found great joy in building a Christ-

centered home studying and living the gospel together

Despite what the world may say marriage is awesome

and is worth making a priority When yoursquore married you

have a teammate you give and receive love you enjoy life

more fully and you have someone to build the kingdom

of God with All of that brings us great joy and because

we were sealed in the temple we can have this joy forever

If we keep our covenants we will be together for eternityand receive the crowning blessings of the priesthood We

ldquohave found in marriage the richest fulfillment of human

existencerdquo 4 NE

Ben and Rachel Nielsen live in Utah USA

NOTES

1 L Whitney Clayton ldquoMarriage Watch and Learnrdquo Ensign May 2013 83 2 ldquoThe Family A Proclamation to the Worldrdquo Ensign Nov 2010 129 3 See Richard G Scott ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo Ensign May

2011 96 4 James E Faust ldquoEnriching Your Marriagerdquo Ensign Apr 2007 6

FROM BEN M o r e E n jo y m e n t

FROM RACHEL A n E t e r n a l M is s i o n a r y C o m p a n io n

TAKE IT FROM US

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Your family can help unite the family of GodYou can all share the gospel in natural and pleasant ways

P H O T O I L L U S T R A T I O N B Y D A V I D S T O K E R

M O R M O N A D

(See M Russell Ballard ldquoPut Your Trust in the Lordrdquo Ensign Nov 2013 43)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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36 N e w E r a

By Alex Larsen

I always knew I wanted to be a mother but when I was grow-

ing up it wasnrsquot always on my mind When my fianceacute and I

were engaged one day I was talking with one of my college

professorsmdasha woman I greatly admiredmdashabout my engage-

ment She said something that brought my life choices into sharp

focus ldquoYou are wasting your talentrdquo she told me as she shook

her head She went on to say that someone as smart as I was

should not get married young She assumed I would have chil-

dren in my future and would be ldquothrowing awayrdquo my education

and chances of a stellar career on my future motherhood I could

tell by the way she looked at me that she thought I was making

a terrible and naiumlve mistake

Itrsquos been several years since that conversation and my hus-

band and I have two little girls Kate is three years old and is

my little sweetheart She moves through life at a leisurely pace

savoring all of the little details she notices Annabel is one yearold with bright blue eyes and a head of curls Shersquos exuberant

and determined Though I didnrsquot change my mind because of

what my professor said our discussion has stayed with me In

one way my professorrsquos predictions were correct I do not have

a prestigious working career But my professor got the most

important point wrong because I have wasted nothing

g i v i n

g u p e v e r y

t hi n g

but wh a t

I

g a i n ed

w as w o r t h so much m o r e

T h e wor l d t o l d me

I w ould

b e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 37

their spirits growing and developing I remember

the first time Kate pointed to a picture of the Savior and

said ldquoJesusrdquo I knew then that what I was doing was eter-

nally significant in the lives of my children

The world often tells us that lifersquos rewards come in

the form of status money or grand accomplishments

but I know therersquos great satisfaction even in the small

acts of changing diapers or wiping sticky fingers Every

little thing I do as a mother is part of helping to build the

kingdom of God by nurturing His children I always knew

I wanted children but it was not until I held my first baby

in my arms that I began to realize how much my heart

was capable of loving

The love I have for my daughters has helped me bet-

ter understand how much my Heavenly Father loves all

of His children When speaking of little children Jesustaught that ldquoof such is the kingdom of heavenrdquo (Matthew

1914) More than anything motherhood has helped me

to grow as a daughter of God because now I know what

a daughter of God looks like from the eyes of a parent

The world makes us think that a woman loses herself in

motherhoodmdashshe loses her body her free time and her

career But I have found myself in motherhood I feel

more beautiful and more valuable than ever before NE

Alex Larsen lives in California USA

I love the opportunity to stay home and care for my

young children because these are the most formative

years of their lives I have the opportunity to create a rich

home environment for my girls by reading and discussing

things with them as part of our everyday life Kate will

often astound me by remembering and commenting on

something wersquod read in a book several weeks before and

Annabel learns a new skill almost every day But as fun

and important as it is to watch them learn new

information and skills I feel the

most satisfied when I see

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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38 N e w E r a

One o f t h e g r e a t e s t ad v enture s o f y o u r l i f e w i l l b e y our rol e a n d c a l l i n g a s a f a t her

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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ROcksROcksROcks

NOTE

1 See Thomas S Monson ldquoWelcome to Conferencerdquo Ensign Nov 2012 4ndash5

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 39

DA D D A DD AD

By Chris Deaver

W

hen I was younger I loved spending time

with my dad He always knew the bestgames to play the best stories to tell at night

and the most interesting sports to try It was

like he was born to be a great dad

Fast-forward my life to when I married my sweetheart

Julia and then even further to the moment that our first

child Daniel was born I was filled with a rush of emo-

tions I was happy shocked amazed and a little scared

I felt totally inadequate to be a father and to have the

responsibility of teaching and being an example to my son

But I quickly realized that Irsquod been preparing all my life tobe a dad When I held my son in my arms for the first time

and looked down into his face I felt the Spirit touch my

heart and I realized that I was ready to try to be a great

dad just like my own dad was to me

When Daniel was very young he already had a great

sense of humor He learned to tell hilarious jokes that

would make my wife and me laugh He also often said

things that inspired us Shortly after hearing President

Thomas S Monson announce the change in age require-

ments for young men and young women preparingto serve missions1 we were driving in the car Daniel

announced that he would start preparing himself right

then at age six so he would have 12 years of preparation

Then he said with a smile ldquoDad can I change the song

from lsquoI Hope They Call Me on a Missionrsquo to lsquoI AM Going on

a Missionrsquordquo It was awesome

WHYbeing a

Three years after Daniel was born he was followed by his

brother Austin For me as a dad itrsquos been great to watch bothboys become best friends And Austin has been just as fun

as Daniel in his own way He enjoys building and destroying

block towers and one of his favorite activities is to fearlessly

wrestle me as if I stand no chance against his four-year-old

powers Of course I give in and let him winmdashso I guess I

reinforce his belief But itrsquos so much fun I know hersquoll be a

great wrestler but what I want most is for him to wrestle

ldquoagainst the rulers of the darkness of this worldrdquo and ldquoagainst

spiritual wickednessrdquo like it says in the scriptures (Ephesians

612) And I hope Irsquom helping to prepare him to do that We just recently had our third child a baby girl named

Faith During the delivery my wife was having some com-

plications and we were scared for our baby I gave Julia

a blessing Then she asked me to sing to her The Spirit

brought peace to both of us Soon baby Faith came safely

into the world It was a miracle and she definitely lived up

to her name Faithrsquos beautiful smile brightens my life I canrsquot

express in words how much she means to me

For any young man still wondering let me tell you You

were born to be a great dad The world may not agree butfatherhood is the best Someday yoursquoll find that your kids

inspire you too and that being a dad is the greatest adven-

ture of your life Yes itrsquos a duty and something you need to

take seriously but being a dad is unlike anything else NE

Chris Deaver lives in Florida USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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40 N e w E r a

We always seem to be encouraged to read more

because well everyone knows that reading is a

good thing But not all books are worth reading and just

because sexual material is written about rather than pho-

tographed or video recorded doesnrsquot mean that itrsquos less

morally hazardous Making a common display of a sacred

intimacy thatrsquos intended to only be part of a marriage rela-

tionship is wrongmdashwhether in words or imagesIf something yoursquore reading contains explicit sexual

descriptions that imprint themselves on your mind and

arouse sexual feelings in the same way that looking at

pornographic images would then guess what Itrsquos pornog-

raphy Remember the counsel in For the Strength of Youth

ldquoChoose wisely when using media because whatever you

read listen to or look at has an effect on you Select only

media that uplifts yourdquo ([2011] 11) NE

T O T H E P O I N T

President Boyd K

Packer President of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoEach

of us must come to ourown personal testimony

of the Lord Jesus Christ

We then share that testi-

mony with our family and

othersrdquo1 It can sometimes

be easy to question the

depth of your testimony

I know looking at pornographic

pictures is wrong but whatabout reading books with

ldquoromanticrdquo scenes

If I donrsquot have a burning

desire to share thegospel does that mean I

donrsquot have a testimony

when you compare your-

self to people like Brigham

Young who once said ldquoI

wanted to thunder and

roar out the gospel to thenations It burned in my

bones like fire pent uprdquo2

So what if you donrsquot feel

fire in your bones

Hopefully your lack of

desire doesnrsquot come from

a lack of concern for your

fellowmen As your faith in

Jesus Christ grows so does

your love of all people a

love that is a mark of the

true followers of Christ (see

Moroni 748 John 1335)

Itrsquos likely however

that your hesitancy sim-

ply comes from fear and

anxiety about speaking toothers For many people

such feelings can be over-

whelming Even prophets

have had doubts about their

ability to speak to people

(see Exodus 410 Moses

631) They of course

had no reason to question

their testimoniesmdashand

neither should you if you

are studying the scriptures

pondering praying fasting

repenting and doing all the

other things that help bring

the Spirit into your life

If you feel you just

need a little extra cour-age to share the gos-

pel visit ldsorggo

shareNE8 for ideas NE

NOTES

1 Boyd K Packer ldquoThe Witnessrdquo Ensign May 2014 96

2 Teachings of Presidents ofthe Church Brigham Young (1997) viii

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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C O M E F O L L O W M E

Family

983152983137tter983150 of

President Boyd K PackerPresident of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

April 2014 general conference

The ultimate end

of all activity in

the Church is that

a man and his wife

and their childrencan be happy

at home

The FamilyYoursquoll be studying about the family in your Sunday classes

this month As you study and discuss family you may pon-der these questions Why do Church leaders emphasize

family so much What is the place of family in Heavenly

Fatherrsquos plan How does family help make us happy

To find some answers to these questions see the

family proclamation near the back of your Personal

Progress or Duty to God booklet or online at ldsorg

gofamilyNE8 Yoursquoll also find teachings about

family relationships in general conference talks at

conferenceldsorg

Give yourself an easy reminder to prepare for your

Sunday lessons on the family Just place these cards

in your scriptures locker or bedroom You can also

download or share them online at ldsorggocardsNE8 B A C K G R O U N D T E X T U R E

B Y I S T O C K P H O T O T H I N K S T O C K

We 983150eed We 983150eed

MOR E

983155tre983150983143the983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

RELATIONSHIPS

983153u983137lity 983153u983137lity TIME amp EFFORT INTO

TO PUT

983155re983150983143te983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4452

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4552

T H E E X T R A S M I L E

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 43

I dont like to pack so I rsquo m just wearing all my stuff

JON CLARK

W h a t m a k e s y o

u t h i n k

D a d rsquo s t a l k i n g t o

t h e

p r o p h e t

B ecaus e h e s ai d h e w as on a conf er ence cal l

RYAN STOKER

F r o m n o w o n j u s t t a k e

a p i c t u r e o f t h e t o o t h a n

d

u p l o a d i t t o m y F a c e b o o k

p a g e

a n d t h e n I rsquo l l s e n d y o u t h e

m o n e y t h r o u g h P a y P a l

RANDY GLASBERGEN

[Gasp] He he made h is bed this morning

And I didnrsquo t even ask

VAL CHADWICK BAGLEY

Who says there arenrsquo t modern m iracles

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4652

44 N e w E r a

ldquoMymom works

Since you donrsquot see your mom often make sure that

the time you do have together is used well You

could talk to your mom about how to do this She

wants a good relationship with you too and will

help you work on it Try asking her what she would

appreciate coming home to a clean house doing an activity

together just talking with you As you regularly do activities your mom appreciates your relationship will improve

Of course you could plan some fun activities to do together

but any meaningful time togethermdashsuch as washing the dishes

or reading the scripturesmdashcan be a great way to build your

relationship

Also plan time for communication Understanding one

another is a key ingredient in good relationships One thing

to discuss is how your momrsquos work schedule will affect your

relationship with her You can avoid misunderstandings if you

talk about your expectations as well as your momrsquosPrayer will help Families are important to Heavenly Father

so He can inspire you to know how to improve your relation-

ship with your mom Donrsquot ignore a prompting to do something

that seems small (see Alma 376) A hug and a smile for exam-

ple can make a big difference NE

Write a Note

Even if you have very

little time together you

can still express your

love to your mother

Write her thoughtful secret notes As

she reads them at work she will think

of you Do as much as you can for

her Think about her more often and

pray for her Ask the Lord to inspire

you and prompt you regarding how

you can improve your relationship Irinka E 20 Odessa Ukraine

Seek to Understand Her

Try to understand her situation

because she works for your benefit

You can begin by helping with things

at home like cleaning the house

helping your siblings and cooking

You also can share scriptures with

your mom pray together and doactivities that you like to do together

Morony M 18 Chihuahua Mexico

Have a Special Sunday

On some Sundays we

have a special lunch

or dinner with a new

dessert we talk and at

the end we sing hymns This brings

us together and helps us be betterfriends

Rebeca N 12 Satildeo Paulo Brazil

Try an Experiment

We arrange time to be together hav-

ing family home evening playing

games going to the beach having

lunch together All of this helps to

Q U E S T I O N S amp A N S W E R S

all day Howcan I improve our

relationshiprdquo

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4752

keep the flame of a good relationship

alive When we disagree we avoid

criticizing I know that sometimes I

ask not to do housework but this

contributes to disharmony in the

home Since I began this experiment

mdashcomplaining less lowering my

voice helping more with housework

and talking more with my mothermdash

a sweet spirit has developed in our

home and we cooperate more

Glenda C 18 Bahia Brazil

Help at Home

Do some extra chores

around the house Your

mom has been work-

ing all day If she has

less work to do when she gets home

shersquoll probably be happier and have

more time to talk and do things with

you While you are talking you canask about her day at work It will

show her that you care and it will

open doors for other topics of discus-

sion allowing you to grow closer

Heather B 18 Oregon USA

Find Something You BothLike to Do

My mumrsquos relationship with me

skyrocketed when I said ldquoI want tospend more time with you but I donrsquot

know what to do or when to do itrdquo

Playing board games happens to be

our favorite pastime So we set aside

a time together to play laugh and

make memories When you are open

with your parents eventually they

become your best companions You

UPCOMING QUESTION

ldquoMy parents just

got divorced Irsquom angry that they

have broken up our

family How doI forgive themrdquo

Send your answer and photo by

September 15 2014

Go to neweraldsorg click ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo enter your LDS Accountand then select ldquoNew Erardquo

Responses may be edited for length

or clarity

Responses are intended for help and per-

spective not as official pronouncements ofChurch doctrine

will be able to talk to them about

anything and you will be sure of an

honest answer That is the sign of a

mature relationship

Ephraim S 15 New South Wales Australia

Read Scriptures Together

Both of you could set a goal to read

together every day even just five

minutes from the Book of Mormon

or any other Church book It will

strengthen your relationship andnourish you with the word of God

so you can be ready to face each day

Remember also to pray to God and

ask for His help I know He hears you

and loves you

Laura M 19 Coacuterdoba Argentina

LEARN FROM

YOUR MOTHER

ldquoPlease look to yourfaithful mothers fora pattern to followModel yourselves

after them not after celebritieswhose standards are not the Lordrsquosstandards and whose values maynot reflect an eternal perspectiveLook to your mother Learn fromher strengths her courage andher faithfulness Listen to her She

may not be a whiz at texting shemay not even have a Facebookpage But when it comes to mat-ters of the heart and the thingsof the Lord she has a wealth ofknowledgerdquo

Elder M Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles ldquoMothers and Daughtersrdquo

Ensign May 2010 19

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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46 N e w E r a

MISERABLE TOTHE END OFTHE STREET

For one family home evening my

dad wanted to take advantage

of a pause in the rainy weather

to go on a walk around the neighbor-

hood I grumbled and complained

that it was too wet and muddy to

go walking I used the excuse that

I had a ballet recital that week and

didnrsquot want to sprain an ankle but

my dad didnrsquot buy it He insisted thatit was going to be the activity for the

evening I murmured a bit more about

the unfairness and my recital but we

left on the walk anyway

As I glumly stomped outside for

the walk with my family I was deter-

mined not to smile or be happy I

succeeded in feeling miserable until

I N S T A N T M E S S A G E S

we reached the end of the street Then

we turned the corner and I saw in full

force naturersquos beauty and wonder

Before me was a gorgeous sunset

and opposite it was a rainbow arching

above our neighborhood rooftops

I immediately forgot all about being

miserable and looked around in awe

On the way home I said a prayer of

gratitude thanking God for the beautyof His creations I later thanked my

dad for choosing the activity and for

allowing us to enjoy nature for that

family home evening

Jennie H North Carolina USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 47

STANDARDS AND FRIENDS

Since Irsquove been in school Irsquove had friends who havenrsquot understood the

moral standards of our religion At first it was difficult but over time

my friends have become used to the idea of my being morally clean I

made a goal in my life to be clean and pure and itrsquos worked out well both

for me and for those who used to criticize me Over time respect peace and

joy have become a part of our loving circle of friends

Vitoacuteria M Brazil

A DIFFICULT DECISION

FORGIVINGMY FRIENDS

As the only member of the

Church in my peer group

Irsquove experienced some

instances when my friends have

offended me Sometimes they judge

and criticize my religion I feel so

alone yet Irsquom thankful I know the

standards of the Church

If my friends offend me I try to

humble myself and avoid contention

because I know contention is evil When they start discussing some mat-

ters about the Church I just testify of

my belief in the gospel

I always forgive my friends with or

without their apology Forgiving is not

just about saying ldquoApology acceptedrdquo

or ldquoItrsquos OKrdquo because forgiveness has

a deep meaning Jesus Christ atoned

for our sins so that Heavenly Father

can forgive usEven though my friends donrsquot

understand my faith now I know that

I can be Godrsquos instrument to teach

them the gospel I am helping them

and at the same time I am helping

myself to grow spiritually and prepare

to serve a mission

Joshua V Philippines

As volleyball tryouts approached for my senior year in high

school I couldnrsquot believe the thought that was running through

my head I wasnrsquot supposed to play volleyball Irsquod played vol-

leyball since seventh grademdashwhy should this year be any different

Not seeing the sense in quitting I ignored the feeling and continued

to participate in summer volleyball events After a while the feeling

came back so I decided that if I really wasnrsquot supposed to be on the

team my coach would just cut me during tryouts

Then one night at the gym I couldnrsquot focus on the game at all I felt

terrible and restless inside I came home frustrated with my team and

with myself I sat next to my mom and sister and cried I told them

how confused I was and my mom told me to pray and ask Heavenly

Father what He wanted me to do I went up to my room and began to

pray I told Heavenly Father how I felt then I asked Him to help mefeel peace if I was not supposed to continue playing volleyball I felt

His peace in my heart and knew that I needed to quit

Irsquom still not sure all the reasons why that was the right

decision but I know that itrsquos what the Lord

wanted me to do and thatrsquos a good

enough reason for me

The next morning I told my

coach and my teammates that

I wasnrsquot going to be playing

Even though it was incrediblyhard I knew I was doing

the right thing

Klaire B Arizona USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5152

you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5252

WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 1852

16 N e w E r a

With canteen in hand I was prepared for my

second 50-mile hike and campout in the

Uinta Mountains I was about as well pre-

pared as a 14-year-old could be My equip-

ment was all set to go my boots were sturdy and my pack

was full of all the essentials

The day of the hike arrived and our

leaders reminded our group of young men

that the mountains could be very danger-

ous Hikers and campers were often lost

in the rugged hills and on the numerous

trails We were warned not to wander

away from the path Our leadersmdashmy

father includedmdashall seemed concerned

for our safety and were anxious to keep

us from straying off of our chosen pathBeing one of the stronger hikers and

a leader in the group I soon found myself

and three other boys leading the way

Sometimes we waited for our group at the

forks in the trail to make sure we followed

the correct path and would not become lost

We hiked for hours laughing and joking all the way We

were having a great time Suddenly we heard frantic calls

and the sounds of running We knew something must have

gone wrong We wondered if maybe some of the grouphad become lost I was concerned for the friends Irsquod left

behind with the leaders Something bad must have happened

We stopped to listen so we could hear what the distant

voices were yelling We heard our names More specifically

I heard my name being called I recognized my fatherrsquos

voice We called back and heard their heavy footsteps coming

in our direction

Something bad had happened We learned that

four of the boys in our group had strayed from

the correct path and had become lost It was us

We were the ones who were lost My father was

thankful to have finally found us and together we

began the hike back to the correct trail

In my head I retraced my footsteps I couldnrsquot

figure out how Irsquod become lost I felt like I was

still on the original path Irsquod been so sure We

retraced our steps and my father showed us aturn we had missed It was just a small path with

a little hidden sign marking the correct way

We had hiked two miles off the right trail

We were thankful wersquod been found

before dark For the rest of the hike

we stayed close to our leaders and the rest of the

group and were never in danger again

Sometimes our overconfidence as youth

gives us an unrealistic sense of independence

We push on without consulting our parentsor leaders We fail to ask for advice We feel

By Duncan Anderson

Mile Hike

The

We stoppedto listen so we

could hear whatthe distant voices

were yellingWe heard ournames We

called back andheard their heavyfootsteps comingin our direction

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 17

certain wersquore headed in a direction leading to the right

destination We laugh and joke and enjoy the path until itrsquos

too late too dark and wersquore lost

When it comes to choosing the right trails in life our

Heavenly Father has provided tools to guide us and keep us

on the path that leads to Him We have the scriptures prayer

and revelation our parents guidelines like For the Strength

of Youth and our Church leaders to guide us through the

countless options life offers

When we do stray off the path itrsquos often our loving parents

and dedicated leaders who come to the rescue They can

guide us back to the correct way and show us where we

went wrong Through repentance we can correct those

wrongs and start fresh on the right path headed toward the

destination that will give us eternal happiness and a life in the

presence of our Heavenly Father NE

Duncan Anderson lives in Utah USA

CHOOSING RIGHT PATHS

ldquoI plead with you to make a determi-nation right here right now notto deviate from the path which willlead to our goal eternal life with ourFather in Heaven Along that straight

and true path there are other goals missionaryservice temple marriage Church activity scripturestudy prayer temple work There are countless wor-thy goals to reach as we travel through life Neededis our commitment to reach themrdquo

President Thomas S Monson ldquoThe Three Rs of Choicerdquo

Ensign Nov 2010 68

NEED ADVICE

Is there anything yoursquod like advice on Donrsquot be afraid to ask your

parents or Church leaders Remember they are there to help you

no matter what yoursquod like to talk about

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2052

One of the things we agree

to do as part of the bap-

tismal covenant is ldquoto

stand as witnesses of

God at all times and in all things and in

all places that [we] may be inrdquo (Mosiah

189) And incidentally we renew this

covenant every week when we partake

of the sacramentIn the April 2014 general conference

several speakers reminded us that there

will be times when standing as a witness

of God will mean having to face oppo-

sition criticism and ridicule So what

should you do when yoursquore required

to take the uncomfortable uncool or

unpopular step of defending your beliefs

By David A Edwards

Church Magazines

Be brave and humble firm and gentle

all at the same time With the Lordrsquos

help itrsquos not as hard as it sounds

18 N e w E r a

of Defe983150di983150983143Your Beliefs

Dorsquos 983137983150d

Donrsquots

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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you should rely on the Spiritto guide your defense of your

faith Bear testimony by the

Spirit Thatrsquos the Lordrsquos way

(See also DampC 1005ndash8)

The point here is not that

you should avoid any discus-

sion in which people have dif-

fering points of view Rather it

has to do with your intent as

well as the emotions involved

We should seek understand-

ing and try to persuade withmeekess not just score points

and prove wersquore right and

someone else is wrong A

discussion where people are

getting really worked up and

angry is one you should either

try to soften or simply avoid

Heavenly Father has given

you the gift of the Holy Ghost

and you should take advan-

tage of this gift This doesnrsquot

mean reason and logic canrsquot

be inspired or confirmed by

the Spirit it just means that

Elder W Craig Zwick of

the Seventy has explained

this scripture this way ldquoA lsquosoft

answerrsquo consists of a reasoned

responsemdashdisciplined words

from a humble heart It does

not mean we never speak

directly or that we compro-

mise doctrinal truth Words

that may be firm in infor-

mation can be soft in spiritrdquo

(ldquoWhat Are You Thinkingrdquo

Ensign May 2014 42)

ldquoA SOFT ANSWER TURNETH AWAY

wr983137thBUT

GRIEVOUS WORDS stir u983152 983137983150983143errdquo

(Proverbs 151)

ldquoBeholdI send you forthas sheep in the

midst of wolves be ye therefore wise as serpents

and h983137r983149less as dovesrdquo

(Matthew 1016)

The Savior doesnrsquot want

you to be ignorant or naiumlve

but He also doesnrsquot want you

to attack anyone Knowing

what goes on in the world

doesnrsquot mean we have to

use its tactics

ldquoCONTEND AGAINST

NO CHURCHrdquo (DampC 1820)

There is no need to

criticize other churches

Positive statements of your

beliefs rather than negative

statements about others will

be most effective As the

Prophet Joseph Smith said

ldquoWe donrsquot ask any people

to throw away any good

they have got we only ask

them to come and get morerdquo

(Teachings of Presidents

of the Church Joseph

Smith [2007] 155)

ldquoAND THOUSHALT DECLARE

983143l983137d tidi983150983143s ldquoAND THOU SHALTDO IT WITH 983137ll hu983149ilityTRUSTING IN ME 983154evili983150983143 983150ot

AGAINST REVILERSrdquo

(DampC 1929ndash30)

The tidings you declare

are glad Remember that

and make sure your face and

your voice show it too Also

the word revile here means

to hurl abusive or insulting

language at a person So if

ldquoFOR I AM

NOT ASHAMED

OF THE GOSPEL OF CHRISTrdquo

(Romans 116)

As President Thomas S

Monson has said ldquoWe will all

face fear experience ridiculeand meet opposition Let

usmdashall of usmdashhave the courage

to defy the consensus the

courage to stand for prin-

ciple Courage not com-

promise brings the smile of

Godrsquos approvalrdquo (ldquoBe Strong

and of a Good Couragerdquo

Ensign May 2014 69)

The scriptures give you some basic principles for standing up for your faith including the following

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 19

ldquoWe s983152e983137k

NOT IN THE WORDS which 983149983137983150rsquos

WISDOM TEACH ETH

but which THE HOLY GHOST

TEACHETHrdquo

(1 Corinthians 213)

ldquoHE THATHATH THE

SPIRIT OF CONTENTIONIS NOT OF ME

BUT ISOF THE DEVIL

WHO IS THE FATHER OFCONTENTION AND

HE STIRRETH UPTHE HEARTS

OF MEN

TO CONTEND WITH ANGER

ONE WITH ANOTHERrdquo(3 Nephi 1129)

HERErsquoS SOME ADVICE FROM THE SCRIPTURES

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2252

How Do You Defend Do you have experi-ence in defending yourbeliefs Or do you haveideas to add to theselists Go to ldsorggodefendNE8 and share

Finding Courage

Read more on this topic atldsorggocourageNE8

someonersquos doing that to you

donrsquot retaliate and do the

same thing back to them The

Apostle Peter taught that the

Savior Himself gave the exam-

ple you should follow in thisregard (see 1 Peter 223)

ldquoLOVE YOUR ENEMIESbless them

that curse you

DO GOOD TO T HEMTHAT HATE YOU

and pray for

them which

DESPITEFULLY USE YOUAND PERSECUTE YOUrdquo

(Matthew 544)ldquoSEE THAT YE ARE NOT lifted u983152 u983150to

983152ride ye983137 SEE THAT YE DO

NOT BOAST IN YOUR

OWN WISDOM

983150or of your 983149uch stre983150983143thldquoUSE BOLDNESS

BUT NOT

OVERBEARANCErdquo (Alma 3811ndash12)

Here the word tenets

refers to opinions or teachings

that go beyond the basics So

the Lord is saying to stick to

the basic message of the gos-

pel when yoursquore declaring Hisglad tidings This also applies

to defending your faith

You donrsquot need to stray into

detailed discussions about

every little thing related to the

Church As Elder Richard G

Scott of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles has said

ldquoKeep your sharing of the

gospel simple rdquo (ldquo lsquoI HaveGiven You an Examplerdquo

Ensign May 2014 34)

ldquoEveryone independent

of his or her decisions and

beliefs deserves our kind-

ness and considerationrdquo said

Elder Neil L Andersen of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles ldquoThe Savior

taught us to love not only

our friends but also those

who disagree with usmdashand

even those who repudiate

usrdquo (ldquoSpiritual Whirlwindsrdquo

Ensign May 2014 20)

Again be humble Itrsquos not

about you or how smart and

capable you are Also you can

be bold without making over-

blown statements or being

a verbal or intellectual bully

As Elder Jeffrey R Holland

of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoYou willone day find yourself called

upon to defend your faith

Such moments will require

both courage and courtesy

on your partrdquo (ldquoThe Costmdashand

Blessingsmdashof Discipleshiprdquo

Ensign May 2014 6)

ldquoA983150d of te983150ets thou sh983137lt 983150ot t983137lk but thou shalt

declare repentance andfaith on the Savior and 983154e983149issio983150 of si983150sby baptism and by fire

yea even the Holy Ghostrdquo(DampC 1931)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2352

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2452

22 N e w E r a

I received my first two-wheel bicycle

when I was eight years old With

the help of my older brother and

father I began the rather scary pro-

cess of figuring out how to ride it The other kids in the neighborhood

made it look so easy and natural as

they zoomed up and down the street

on their bikes I perched on the bike

seatmdashwhich seemed to be at least

10 feet (3 m) above the groundmdashand

realized there was absolutely noth-

ing to keep me from falling over and

proving that the law of gravity was

alive and well As I tried riding I learned quickly

that if I wanted to stay balanced I had

to keep pedaling When I first sat on

the seat speed was the last thing I

wanted to add to the already daunting

equation But I very soon understood

the wisdom and the physics involved

in moving forward As long as I kept

pedaling I could stay upright and

avoid the rough concrete just waiting

to take the skin off my arms and legs

Soon I was zipping around the neigh-

borhood with my friends

Defy Gr983137vity Defy Gr983137vity

of the First Presidency as outlined

in that booklet our lives will be bal-

anced and steady We will be led

where we want to go

We need to keep moving forwardto avoid falling To do that we should

consistently and faithfully do certain

actions

bull Pray morning and night

bull Study the scriptures daily

bull Attend Church meetings and par-

take of the sacrament worthily

bull Serve those around us

bull Be worthy to attend the temple

All of these actions keep us moving

forward in the right direction

Thatrsquos why reading and being famil-

iar with the standards described in For

the Strength of Youth will help ensure

we are making choices consistent with

Godrsquos standards Living these princi-

ples and keeping the commandments

F O R T H E S T R E N G T H O F Y O U T H

By Bonnie LOscarson

Young WomenGeneral President

As you keep moving forward you can stay upright even

when outside forces try to pull you down

Just as those who keep

pedaling a bike can stay

upright despite gravityrsquos

influence those who are

guided by the Holy Spirit in

all they do can withstand

the influence of theadversary

So it is with living the gospel and

the standards in For the Strength of

Youth It takes faith to believe that if

we consistently follow the counsel

GO FORWARD WITH FAITH

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2552

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 23

invite the Holy Ghost to be our con-

stant companion Just as those who

keep pedaling a bike can stay upright

despite gravityrsquos influence those who

are guided by the Holy Spirit in allthey do can withstand the influence of

the adversary

What are the destinations you have

in mind as you pedal forward For all

young men of the Aaronic Priesthood

preparing now for a full-time mission

is important in forward growth For

all youth being prepared to go to the

temple and receive the endowment by

making and keeping sacred covenantsshould also be a primary goal

As the message from the First

Presidency at the beginning of For the

Strength of Youth says ldquoIn all that you

do stay focused on the temple In the

temple you will receive the greatest

of all the Lordrsquos blessings including

marriage for time and all eternityrdquo1

Receiving the covenant of eternal

marriage in the house of the Lord and

becoming righteous husbands wives

fathers and mothers may seem far

down the road but the time to beginpreparing is now All of these things

lead to the most glorious and grand

destination of allmdasheternal life with

our Heavenly Father

One of my favorite scriptures

sums up what we need to do in order

to keep moving toward our goals

ldquoWherefore ye must press forward

with a steadfastness in Christ hav-

ing a perfect brightness of hopeand a love of God and of all men

Wherefore if ye shall press forward

feasting upon the word of Christ and

endure to the end behold thus saith

the Father Ye shall have eternal liferdquo

(2 Nephi 3120)

Just as I learned as an eight-year-

old girl that I needed to keep pedaling

and moving forward in order to defy

gravity and keep my balance on my

bicycle it is important for all of us to

keep moving forward with faith trust-

ing in the counsel of living prophetsand a loving Heavenly Father to keep

us from falling Some of our destina-

tions are just down the road while

others will take a lifetime of faithful

living to achieve The promises of

what lies at the end of the road if we

are faithful are certain and glorious

and well worth the ride NE

NOTE

1 For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

Learn MoreSee whatrsquos next in your covenant path

at ldsorggocovenantNE8

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2652

24 N e w E r a

BOA R D

GA M E S

B y Da vid Chris tensen

My chance to play le f t

a lasting impact but it

wasnrsquot what Irsquod e xpected

L o s i n

g s o

q u i c k

l y w

a s b

a d e

n o u

g h

b

u t t o

m a k

e m

a t t e r s

w o r s e

t h

e o t h

e r g

u y

s s t a r t e

d t o

m a k

e

f u n

o f

m e

I

t r i e d

t o c o

n t i n

u e

p l a y i n g

e v e

n t h

o u

g h

t h e y

w e r

e b

e i n

g m

e a n

b

u t i t

w a s h

a r d t o h o

l d b

a c k m y t e

a r s

o f f r u s t

r a t i o n

U

n f o

r t u n a t e l y

o n e t e

a r t r i c k l e

d d

o w

n m y

c h e e

k b

e f o

r e I

c o u

l d w i p

e i t

a w a y M

y b

r o t h

e r

s a w i t

a n d

t e a s e

d m

e t o

o

I c o

u l d

n rsquo t

t a k e i t

a n y

m o r e

a n d

r a n t o

m y

r o o m

I g a v e m y s e l

f a q u i c k p i n

c h

t o m a k e s u r

e I w a s n rsquo

t d r e a m i n g

a n d t h e

n I v o i c e d

a t i m i d ldquo Y e

a h

s u r e rdquo I s t

i l l c o u l d

n rsquo t b e l i e

v e t h a t

m y b r o t h e

r h a d i n v

i t e d m e t o

p l a y a g a m e w i t h

t h e ldquo b i g k i

d s rdquo

A f t e r a l l

I rsquo d b e e n t o l d f o r t h

r e e

y e a r s t h a

t I w a s s t i l l

t o o y o u

n g

t o p l a y m o r e d i f fi

c u l t b o a

r d

g a m e s w i t h m y b r o

t h e r a n d

h i s f r i e n d s

A N D B R O

T H

E R S

I

felt the hot tears of anger slowly slide

down my face I wiped them away with

my hand but I could still feel the

slightly salty taste on my lips assobs of anguish began to pour out

I just wanted to hang out with my

brother Why couldnrsquot he be my

friend too

J u s t a f e w

h o u r s

b e f o

r e I h a d

s t a r e d a t

m y o

l d e r b

r o t h

e r S t e v e

i n c o

m p

l e t e s u r p

r i s e

w a i t i n

g f o r h

i m t o

t e

l l

m e t h

a t h e w

a s o n

l y

j o k i n g ldquo W

e l l d o y o

u

w a n

t t o p

l a y rdquo S t e v e

a s k e d i m p

a

t i e n t l y

I w

e n t i n t o t h e

r o o m w h

e r e t h e

o l d e r b o y s

w e r e

s e t t i n g u p

t h e b o a r d

g a m e A s t h e

g a m e s t a r t e d

w i t h

e v e r y o n e s t r a t e g i c a l l y

p l a c i n g

t h e i r g a m

e

p i e c e s

I f e l t l i k e

I w

a s d r e a

m i n g F o r

t h e fi r s t t i m

e

I f e l t e q u a l t o

m y b r o t h e r mdash

n o t l i k e I

w a s j u s t h i s

t a g a l o n g

T h e d r e a m

e n d e d q u i c k

l y h o w e v e r

T h e

g a m e w

a s t o u g h

a n d m y i n

e x p e r i e n c e

a n d l a c k

o f k n o w l e d g e

b e c

a m e

p a i n f u l l y o b v i o u s

a s t h e o t

h e r

p l a y e r s q u i c k l y

a n d

s o u n d l y d e f e a t e d

m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2852

26 N e w E r a

Le983137r983150i983150983143 the i983150s 983137983150d outs of d983137ti983150983143 c983137983150 be h983137rd Let this course tur983150 you

i983150to 983137 d983137ti983150983143 983152ro

By Matthew ORichardson

Served as Second

Counselor in theSunday SchoolGeneral Presidencyfrom 2009 to 2014

hile speaking to youth about how to prepare for a celestial marriage

President Thomas S Monson emphasized that ldquoproper dating is a part

of preparation for marriagerdquo 1 Have you thought much about happy

relationships Elder Russell M Nelson of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said a ldquocelestial marriage brings greater possibilities for happiness than

does any other relationshiprdquo2

When I was serving as bishop in a young single adult ward I worried about those

who approached dating with very little purpose understanding or direction This

caused me to wonder if my own children would be any different when their time came

My wife and I decided to help our children prepare for ldquoproper datingrdquo and happy rela-tionships by creating the Richardson Dating Academy or RDA as our children call it

It wasnrsquot long after we started the RDA that friends of our children wanted to partici-

pate and even become RDA graduates So how about you Are you ready to become a

dating academy graduate yourself Class is in session

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 27

Lesso983150 1 ur983152oses 983137983150d St983137983150d983137rds of D983137ti983150983143

Lesso983150 2 W983137tch 983137983150d Le983137r983150

Homework

As you know ldquodatingrdquo means different things to differ-

ent people Your first assignment is to figure out just what

a ldquodaterdquo is according to Church standards Can you explain

the purposes of dating and the specific dating standards and

guidelines set by the Church Or do you know when itrsquosmost appropriate to be involved in dating and steady dating

(having a boyfriend or girlfriend)

You can find answers to these questions in the ldquoDatingrdquo

section of For the Strength of Youth The First Presidency

reminds us why knowing and understanding these stan-

dards are so important They promise ldquoThe standards in this

Elder Jeffrey R Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles once explained that most athletic contests have ldquolines

drawn on the floor or the field within which every participant

must stay in order to competerdquo3 Success depends on how

well a competitor knows and stays within the set boundaries

Likewise itrsquos important to know the ldquodating linesrdquo or the pur-

poses and standards of dating as taught by Church leaders

One of the most com-

mon ways people learn

is by watching others

Dating is no different

In the dating academy

we spend time observ-

ing others in dating

situations In our family

we learned many point-ersmdashsome to do others

to avoidmdashby watching

dates in progress at

restaurants and other

settings Yes we went to

certain places with the

sole purpose to observe

dates for ldquoclassrdquo

booklet will help you with the important choices you are

making now and will yet make in the futurerdquo4

Now that you have a solid foundation of the stan-

dards and purposes of dating (you did do your home-

work and read that section didnrsquot you) itrsquos time to move

on to lesson 2

Tips

Here are some suggestions that will help you learn

as you observe

bull Watch but donrsquot be creepy This is about learning from

others but not stalking staring or even judging Look for

things you like and things you would like to avoid

bull Go to a variety of places and settings to observe others

Not every date is the same nor should it be Watch how thesetting affects the experience

bull Watch how people interact with each other Can you tell

who is with whom Are they paying attention to each

other In what ways Are they talking with each other Do

they look like they enjoy being with each other How can

you tell if they are having fun

bull Talk with a parent leader or good friends and share what

you noticed and what you learned

Homework

The next time you go

out to eat attend a movie

or go to almost any activ-

ity make an effort to look

around and see how other

people are interacting It

may surprise you to see

how much dating is actu-ally going on Take the

time to learn from those

around you by paying

attention to whatrsquos work-

ing and what isnrsquot

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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28 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 3 l983137983150983150i983150983143 983137 D983137te

Tips

bull Start planning early

bull Donrsquot be afraid to bounce ideas off your friendsparents and others They can provide excellent

suggestions that you havenrsquot even thought about

bull Make sure you let your budget amount of time

available the reasons for dating and Church stan-

dards guide your planning

bull Think of what you hope will happen during the

date from beginning to end This helps you realize

what needs to be done to make the date a success

bull Pay attention to details Call ahead for event times

prices menus and what the proper dress is for

the occasion

bull Plan for emergencies For example what will you

do if you donrsquot have enough money or have car

trouble What if your date gets sick

Homework

Rather than leaving everything to chance dating acad-

emy grads understand what needs to happen and theyplan accordingly

Your homework assignment even if yoursquore years away

from dating is to practice planning an event You can

brainstorm with friends really fun ideas for a date Then

work together to think of what planning is required to

make those ideas actually happen Or you can ask your

parents to let you plan the next family outing

You might choose a place to eat or what to do Plan all

the details (event times travel time cost backup plans)

and then put your plan into action You could evencome up with a dating plan complete with backup ideas

if something goes wrong and share it in family home

evening while talking together around the dinner table

or with friends You may find that properly planning an

activity is almost as much fun as the actual date

The quality of experience yoursquoll have with others is

often determined by what happens before a date begins

Showing up on your datersquos doorstep with no plan is a

recipe for an awkward experience Nobody likes playing

the ldquoWhat do you want to dordquo game

Yoursquore better than that With a little practice you can

become a date-planning champion And young women

no fair skipping this section While most of the time young

men plan and ask for dates yoursquoll still want to have these

skills down for when itrsquos your turn

Group Date IdeasNeed ideas Check out ldsorggoideasNE8 Some

of the youth activities there could be adapted for dates

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Homework

In the Richardson Dating Academy all of our

children practiced dating invitations For example

our children might call an aunt older sibling or other

family member to practice inviting someone on a

date Or our son or daughter would receive an invita-

tion from a family member and practice responding

They learned how to deal with rejection acceptance

or even a disinterested response or two

Now itrsquos your turn Working with your parents ask

them to line up somebody in your family you can call

and practice inviting on a date Make sure you do this

more than once

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 29

You know your dating standards front and back

yoursquove watched others in dating situations and

yoursquove come up with a solid date plan

Congratulations Now you still need to invite

someone Or you need to know how to respond

when you are invited So whatrsquos the best way A

phone call Ask in person Here are some different

points to consider

Lesso983150 4 I983150viti983150983143 Others 983137983150d Bei983150983143 I983150vited

Tips

bull Be ready to give details when you invite

someone on a date Talk about what you have

planned start and end times whorsquos participat-ing and how they should dress (casual dressy

etc) Your excellent planning from academy

lesson 3 makes this part of the academy easy

bull Therersquos a time to talk by phone and a time to

ask face-to-face The more important the event

is the more personal the invitation should be

Donrsquot be afraid to skip technology and actually

talk with someone

bull Some events may require you to speak with

your datersquos parents first This shows respectand courtesy

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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30 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 5 O983150 the D983137te

It would be impossible for any dating academy to cover

every little thing to consider or plan for in dating So much

depends on good judgment communication with your par-

ents and listening to the Spirit

Still here are a few key points you might want to brush

up on before putting your date plan into action

Tips

bull Develop a ldquoyou firstrdquo attitude This means you always

think of your date first Is he or she having fun Is he or

she comfortable

bull Make sure you dress appropriately for the occasion

The way you dress usually communicates how you feelabout others and about the event Know the difference

between casual (but never sloppy) semiformal and

formal and when it would be appropriate to dress in

those ways

bull Show common courtesy by opening doors saying

thank you talking less about yourself and more about

your date and extending sincere compliments

bull Learn how to navigate restaurants Know how to make

a reservation get a table calculate a service tip and

pay the bill

Homework

Once again the best way to learn any good skill is by practic-

ing it Our youth enjoyed role-playing different situations

to think about how to act most appropriately We

also loved going out to eat as part of the dating acad-

emy experience Our children learned how to act in

a restaurant order a meal calculate the tip and paythe bill by actually doing it when they were with us

Look for opportunities to practice skills you should use on a

date For example the next time you and your family go some-

where ask your parents to let you purchase the tickets order

the meal or calculate the tip Treat your family or friends with

the same respect and courtesy that you should show others on a

date Open doors for your family be the first to say ldquothank yourdquo

and pay attention so you are part of the conversation

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 31

Lesso983150 6 The Doorste983152

NOTES

1 Thomas S Monson ldquoPreparation BringsBlessingsrdquo Ensign May 2010 64

2 Russell M Nelson ldquoCelestial Marriagerdquo Ensign Nov 2008 93

3 Jeffrey R Holland ldquoWe Are All Enlistedrdquo Ensign Nov 2011 45

4 ldquoMessage to the Youth from The First Presi-dencyrdquo For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

5 John Bytheway ldquoWhat Do Kisses Meanrdquo New Era Oct 2004 38ndash41

Last but not least dating

academy graduates know how

to conclude a date on the right

note Nothing sours a great date

more than a bad ending

Herersquos how you can finish a

date with success

Tips

bull Express gratitude Be sincere

and to the point If there was something you especially

liked tell your date what

it was

bull Therersquos no reason for drag-

ging things on at this point

Yoursquove already spent plenty

of time together Avoid the

ldquodoorstep shufflerdquo When

people arenrsquot sure what to

say they tend to shuffle backand forth or move their feet

in place If you find yourself

ldquoshufflingrdquo in place itrsquos a

pretty good signal that you

need to say good-bye

bull Know and follow the

Churchrsquos counsel on kissing

and physical intimacy (You

might also want to read John

Bythewayrsquos article ldquoWhat Do

Kisses Meanrdquo5 at ldsorggo

kissesNE8)

Homework

Yes herersquos another opportunity for practicing Our family has spent several family

home evenings role-playing doorstep good-byes Itrsquos been both helpful and fun to

watch an older sibling coach the younger sibling with dorsquos and donrsquots

Most memorable was an older sister showing how she could turn a hug into a

handshake with the grace of a princess and the speed of a ninja You too can get

together with family members and role-play different scenarios that might happen on

a doorstep We guarantee itrsquoll be an academy night yoursquoll all remember

Gr983137du983137tio983150

If yoursquove studied all the

material worked on the tips done

the homework and talked through

the lessons with your parents and

family you too can become a

dating academy graduate

As you continue strengthening

these important skills yoursquoll find

support strength and power that

will bless your relationships both

now and in the future You will be

better prepared for happiness NE

Do Try This at HomeInterested in having a dating academy at

home Let your parents know therersquos an RDAarticle for them in this monthrsquos Ensign or atldsorggoRDA

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32 N e w E r a

S U N DA Y L E S S

O N S

This Monthrsquos Topic

Ma r r iage a nd

Fa m i l y

MARRIAGE IS WORTH ITldquoIt is so rewarding to bemarried Marriage is wonder-ful In time you begin to thinkalike and have the same ideasand impressions You havetimes when you are extremelyhappy times of testing andtimes of trial but the Lordguides you through all ofthose growth experiencestogetherrdquo

Elder Richard G Scott of the

Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo

Ensign May 2011 96

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 33

We love being marr ied and he

rersquos why

By Ben and Rachel Nielsen

Letrsquos face it girls (and boys) itrsquos nice to know that someone loves you

And when yoursquore married you have chances to share and receive love every

day When I was talking to my parents about the possibility of marrying

Ben my dad said ldquoWhomever you choose to marry I want him to fre-

quently and sincerely express his love for you like Elder Richard G Scott did

for his wiferdquo3 I listened to Dad

I decided to marry Ben and he has always made an effort to express

his love to me in small and big ways During my senior year of college I

worked for months to prepare apply and interview for a prestigious intern-ship And when I finally heard that I got the job I came home and saw a

vase full of flowers from my husband He knew how hard I had worked and

how much the internship meant to me At other times hersquoll hide my favorite

drink and a love note in the fridge before he heads out for a weekend Scout

camp And every day hersquoll do the dishes and make me laugh Ben is great at

expressing his love for me and that brings both of us great joy

During my mission in Brazil I grew to love soccer One thing that I lovemost about this sport is having teammates and learning how to work together

with my team Rachel is a fantastic teammate She helps me achieve my

goals joins me in making important decisions and is there for me when I

have trouble

When we were sealed in the temple we promised to ldquohelp one another as

equal partnersrdquo2 Rachel and I strive to support each other in everything we

do and itrsquos great to know that I always have a reliable teammate

After our first date we both

knew we wanted to go

on a second date Ben

wanted to go on

another date because Rachel was

friendly and fun to talk to Rachel

wanted to go on another date

because Ben was a gentleman

and was still smiling after all of

his well-laid plans fell through

After the second date plus manymore dates and prayers after

that we fell in love and decided

to get married in the Sacramento

California Temple

The wedding day was abso-

lutely perfect and we have loved

being married ever since The

world may see marriage differ-

ently but we know that ldquono other

relationship of any kind canbring as much joy generate as

much good or produce as much

personal refinementrdquo1 Marriage

is awesome and herersquos why

FROM BEN A T e a m m a t e

FROM RACHEL

E x p r e s s i o n s o f L o v e

WHY MARRIAGE IS

A w e s o m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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34 N e w E r a

JOIN THE CONVERSATION

Things to Ponder for Sunday

bull What qualities and attitudes make for the strongest

and happiest marriages and families

bull What are you doing now that will help your future

marriage and family stay strong and happy

Things You Might Do

bull Share with some friends your goal of marrying and

having a family and tell them why

bull In church share why you are looking forward

to marriage and family and how you are pre-

paring for them

serving in the Church and inviting others to come unto

Christ As we work together to build the kingdom of God

we grow closer our love deepens and life is more fulfilling

Dating Rachel is so much fun In fact we make surethat we still frequently go on dates even as a married

couple After we first met we found that we enjoy many

of the same activities walking through parks attending

plays watching sporting events eating new and different

food listening to music and so much more I loved doing

these things before I met Rachel but theyrsquore even more

fun now that we get to share them together When yoursquore

married you have someone to enjoy life withmdashand that

makes life awesome

Before I met Ben I was nearing the age of missionary

service and had seriously considered serving a full-time

mission But then Ben entered my life and I knew that

Heavenly Father had a different plan for me

When Ben and I got engaged relatives who knew

about my thoughts to serve a mission asked me about my

choice and I would tell them ldquoI decided that I wanted topick my own missionary companionmdashand stay with him

for eternityrdquo

When yoursquore married you and your spouse have the

chance to participate in the work of salvation together

Ben and I have found great joy in building a Christ-

centered home studying and living the gospel together

Despite what the world may say marriage is awesome

and is worth making a priority When yoursquore married you

have a teammate you give and receive love you enjoy life

more fully and you have someone to build the kingdom

of God with All of that brings us great joy and because

we were sealed in the temple we can have this joy forever

If we keep our covenants we will be together for eternityand receive the crowning blessings of the priesthood We

ldquohave found in marriage the richest fulfillment of human

existencerdquo 4 NE

Ben and Rachel Nielsen live in Utah USA

NOTES

1 L Whitney Clayton ldquoMarriage Watch and Learnrdquo Ensign May 2013 83 2 ldquoThe Family A Proclamation to the Worldrdquo Ensign Nov 2010 129 3 See Richard G Scott ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo Ensign May

2011 96 4 James E Faust ldquoEnriching Your Marriagerdquo Ensign Apr 2007 6

FROM BEN M o r e E n jo y m e n t

FROM RACHEL A n E t e r n a l M is s i o n a r y C o m p a n io n

TAKE IT FROM US

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Your family can help unite the family of GodYou can all share the gospel in natural and pleasant ways

P H O T O I L L U S T R A T I O N B Y D A V I D S T O K E R

M O R M O N A D

(See M Russell Ballard ldquoPut Your Trust in the Lordrdquo Ensign Nov 2013 43)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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36 N e w E r a

By Alex Larsen

I always knew I wanted to be a mother but when I was grow-

ing up it wasnrsquot always on my mind When my fianceacute and I

were engaged one day I was talking with one of my college

professorsmdasha woman I greatly admiredmdashabout my engage-

ment She said something that brought my life choices into sharp

focus ldquoYou are wasting your talentrdquo she told me as she shook

her head She went on to say that someone as smart as I was

should not get married young She assumed I would have chil-

dren in my future and would be ldquothrowing awayrdquo my education

and chances of a stellar career on my future motherhood I could

tell by the way she looked at me that she thought I was making

a terrible and naiumlve mistake

Itrsquos been several years since that conversation and my hus-

band and I have two little girls Kate is three years old and is

my little sweetheart She moves through life at a leisurely pace

savoring all of the little details she notices Annabel is one yearold with bright blue eyes and a head of curls Shersquos exuberant

and determined Though I didnrsquot change my mind because of

what my professor said our discussion has stayed with me In

one way my professorrsquos predictions were correct I do not have

a prestigious working career But my professor got the most

important point wrong because I have wasted nothing

g i v i n

g u p e v e r y

t hi n g

but wh a t

I

g a i n ed

w as w o r t h so much m o r e

T h e wor l d t o l d me

I w ould

b e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 37

their spirits growing and developing I remember

the first time Kate pointed to a picture of the Savior and

said ldquoJesusrdquo I knew then that what I was doing was eter-

nally significant in the lives of my children

The world often tells us that lifersquos rewards come in

the form of status money or grand accomplishments

but I know therersquos great satisfaction even in the small

acts of changing diapers or wiping sticky fingers Every

little thing I do as a mother is part of helping to build the

kingdom of God by nurturing His children I always knew

I wanted children but it was not until I held my first baby

in my arms that I began to realize how much my heart

was capable of loving

The love I have for my daughters has helped me bet-

ter understand how much my Heavenly Father loves all

of His children When speaking of little children Jesustaught that ldquoof such is the kingdom of heavenrdquo (Matthew

1914) More than anything motherhood has helped me

to grow as a daughter of God because now I know what

a daughter of God looks like from the eyes of a parent

The world makes us think that a woman loses herself in

motherhoodmdashshe loses her body her free time and her

career But I have found myself in motherhood I feel

more beautiful and more valuable than ever before NE

Alex Larsen lives in California USA

I love the opportunity to stay home and care for my

young children because these are the most formative

years of their lives I have the opportunity to create a rich

home environment for my girls by reading and discussing

things with them as part of our everyday life Kate will

often astound me by remembering and commenting on

something wersquod read in a book several weeks before and

Annabel learns a new skill almost every day But as fun

and important as it is to watch them learn new

information and skills I feel the

most satisfied when I see

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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38 N e w E r a

One o f t h e g r e a t e s t ad v enture s o f y o u r l i f e w i l l b e y our rol e a n d c a l l i n g a s a f a t her

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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ROcksROcksROcks

NOTE

1 See Thomas S Monson ldquoWelcome to Conferencerdquo Ensign Nov 2012 4ndash5

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 39

DA D D A DD AD

By Chris Deaver

W

hen I was younger I loved spending time

with my dad He always knew the bestgames to play the best stories to tell at night

and the most interesting sports to try It was

like he was born to be a great dad

Fast-forward my life to when I married my sweetheart

Julia and then even further to the moment that our first

child Daniel was born I was filled with a rush of emo-

tions I was happy shocked amazed and a little scared

I felt totally inadequate to be a father and to have the

responsibility of teaching and being an example to my son

But I quickly realized that Irsquod been preparing all my life tobe a dad When I held my son in my arms for the first time

and looked down into his face I felt the Spirit touch my

heart and I realized that I was ready to try to be a great

dad just like my own dad was to me

When Daniel was very young he already had a great

sense of humor He learned to tell hilarious jokes that

would make my wife and me laugh He also often said

things that inspired us Shortly after hearing President

Thomas S Monson announce the change in age require-

ments for young men and young women preparingto serve missions1 we were driving in the car Daniel

announced that he would start preparing himself right

then at age six so he would have 12 years of preparation

Then he said with a smile ldquoDad can I change the song

from lsquoI Hope They Call Me on a Missionrsquo to lsquoI AM Going on

a Missionrsquordquo It was awesome

WHYbeing a

Three years after Daniel was born he was followed by his

brother Austin For me as a dad itrsquos been great to watch bothboys become best friends And Austin has been just as fun

as Daniel in his own way He enjoys building and destroying

block towers and one of his favorite activities is to fearlessly

wrestle me as if I stand no chance against his four-year-old

powers Of course I give in and let him winmdashso I guess I

reinforce his belief But itrsquos so much fun I know hersquoll be a

great wrestler but what I want most is for him to wrestle

ldquoagainst the rulers of the darkness of this worldrdquo and ldquoagainst

spiritual wickednessrdquo like it says in the scriptures (Ephesians

612) And I hope Irsquom helping to prepare him to do that We just recently had our third child a baby girl named

Faith During the delivery my wife was having some com-

plications and we were scared for our baby I gave Julia

a blessing Then she asked me to sing to her The Spirit

brought peace to both of us Soon baby Faith came safely

into the world It was a miracle and she definitely lived up

to her name Faithrsquos beautiful smile brightens my life I canrsquot

express in words how much she means to me

For any young man still wondering let me tell you You

were born to be a great dad The world may not agree butfatherhood is the best Someday yoursquoll find that your kids

inspire you too and that being a dad is the greatest adven-

ture of your life Yes itrsquos a duty and something you need to

take seriously but being a dad is unlike anything else NE

Chris Deaver lives in Florida USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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40 N e w E r a

We always seem to be encouraged to read more

because well everyone knows that reading is a

good thing But not all books are worth reading and just

because sexual material is written about rather than pho-

tographed or video recorded doesnrsquot mean that itrsquos less

morally hazardous Making a common display of a sacred

intimacy thatrsquos intended to only be part of a marriage rela-

tionship is wrongmdashwhether in words or imagesIf something yoursquore reading contains explicit sexual

descriptions that imprint themselves on your mind and

arouse sexual feelings in the same way that looking at

pornographic images would then guess what Itrsquos pornog-

raphy Remember the counsel in For the Strength of Youth

ldquoChoose wisely when using media because whatever you

read listen to or look at has an effect on you Select only

media that uplifts yourdquo ([2011] 11) NE

T O T H E P O I N T

President Boyd K

Packer President of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoEach

of us must come to ourown personal testimony

of the Lord Jesus Christ

We then share that testi-

mony with our family and

othersrdquo1 It can sometimes

be easy to question the

depth of your testimony

I know looking at pornographic

pictures is wrong but whatabout reading books with

ldquoromanticrdquo scenes

If I donrsquot have a burning

desire to share thegospel does that mean I

donrsquot have a testimony

when you compare your-

self to people like Brigham

Young who once said ldquoI

wanted to thunder and

roar out the gospel to thenations It burned in my

bones like fire pent uprdquo2

So what if you donrsquot feel

fire in your bones

Hopefully your lack of

desire doesnrsquot come from

a lack of concern for your

fellowmen As your faith in

Jesus Christ grows so does

your love of all people a

love that is a mark of the

true followers of Christ (see

Moroni 748 John 1335)

Itrsquos likely however

that your hesitancy sim-

ply comes from fear and

anxiety about speaking toothers For many people

such feelings can be over-

whelming Even prophets

have had doubts about their

ability to speak to people

(see Exodus 410 Moses

631) They of course

had no reason to question

their testimoniesmdashand

neither should you if you

are studying the scriptures

pondering praying fasting

repenting and doing all the

other things that help bring

the Spirit into your life

If you feel you just

need a little extra cour-age to share the gos-

pel visit ldsorggo

shareNE8 for ideas NE

NOTES

1 Boyd K Packer ldquoThe Witnessrdquo Ensign May 2014 96

2 Teachings of Presidents ofthe Church Brigham Young (1997) viii

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4352

C O M E F O L L O W M E

Family

983152983137tter983150 of

President Boyd K PackerPresident of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

April 2014 general conference

The ultimate end

of all activity in

the Church is that

a man and his wife

and their childrencan be happy

at home

The FamilyYoursquoll be studying about the family in your Sunday classes

this month As you study and discuss family you may pon-der these questions Why do Church leaders emphasize

family so much What is the place of family in Heavenly

Fatherrsquos plan How does family help make us happy

To find some answers to these questions see the

family proclamation near the back of your Personal

Progress or Duty to God booklet or online at ldsorg

gofamilyNE8 Yoursquoll also find teachings about

family relationships in general conference talks at

conferenceldsorg

Give yourself an easy reminder to prepare for your

Sunday lessons on the family Just place these cards

in your scriptures locker or bedroom You can also

download or share them online at ldsorggocardsNE8 B A C K G R O U N D T E X T U R E

B Y I S T O C K P H O T O T H I N K S T O C K

We 983150eed We 983150eed

MOR E

983155tre983150983143the983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

RELATIONSHIPS

983153u983137lity 983153u983137lity TIME amp EFFORT INTO

TO PUT

983155re983150983143te983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4452

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4552

T H E E X T R A S M I L E

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 43

I dont like to pack so I rsquo m just wearing all my stuff

JON CLARK

W h a t m a k e s y o

u t h i n k

D a d rsquo s t a l k i n g t o

t h e

p r o p h e t

B ecaus e h e s ai d h e w as on a conf er ence cal l

RYAN STOKER

F r o m n o w o n j u s t t a k e

a p i c t u r e o f t h e t o o t h a n

d

u p l o a d i t t o m y F a c e b o o k

p a g e

a n d t h e n I rsquo l l s e n d y o u t h e

m o n e y t h r o u g h P a y P a l

RANDY GLASBERGEN

[Gasp] He he made h is bed this morning

And I didnrsquo t even ask

VAL CHADWICK BAGLEY

Who says there arenrsquo t modern m iracles

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4652

44 N e w E r a

ldquoMymom works

Since you donrsquot see your mom often make sure that

the time you do have together is used well You

could talk to your mom about how to do this She

wants a good relationship with you too and will

help you work on it Try asking her what she would

appreciate coming home to a clean house doing an activity

together just talking with you As you regularly do activities your mom appreciates your relationship will improve

Of course you could plan some fun activities to do together

but any meaningful time togethermdashsuch as washing the dishes

or reading the scripturesmdashcan be a great way to build your

relationship

Also plan time for communication Understanding one

another is a key ingredient in good relationships One thing

to discuss is how your momrsquos work schedule will affect your

relationship with her You can avoid misunderstandings if you

talk about your expectations as well as your momrsquosPrayer will help Families are important to Heavenly Father

so He can inspire you to know how to improve your relation-

ship with your mom Donrsquot ignore a prompting to do something

that seems small (see Alma 376) A hug and a smile for exam-

ple can make a big difference NE

Write a Note

Even if you have very

little time together you

can still express your

love to your mother

Write her thoughtful secret notes As

she reads them at work she will think

of you Do as much as you can for

her Think about her more often and

pray for her Ask the Lord to inspire

you and prompt you regarding how

you can improve your relationship Irinka E 20 Odessa Ukraine

Seek to Understand Her

Try to understand her situation

because she works for your benefit

You can begin by helping with things

at home like cleaning the house

helping your siblings and cooking

You also can share scriptures with

your mom pray together and doactivities that you like to do together

Morony M 18 Chihuahua Mexico

Have a Special Sunday

On some Sundays we

have a special lunch

or dinner with a new

dessert we talk and at

the end we sing hymns This brings

us together and helps us be betterfriends

Rebeca N 12 Satildeo Paulo Brazil

Try an Experiment

We arrange time to be together hav-

ing family home evening playing

games going to the beach having

lunch together All of this helps to

Q U E S T I O N S amp A N S W E R S

all day Howcan I improve our

relationshiprdquo

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4752

keep the flame of a good relationship

alive When we disagree we avoid

criticizing I know that sometimes I

ask not to do housework but this

contributes to disharmony in the

home Since I began this experiment

mdashcomplaining less lowering my

voice helping more with housework

and talking more with my mothermdash

a sweet spirit has developed in our

home and we cooperate more

Glenda C 18 Bahia Brazil

Help at Home

Do some extra chores

around the house Your

mom has been work-

ing all day If she has

less work to do when she gets home

shersquoll probably be happier and have

more time to talk and do things with

you While you are talking you canask about her day at work It will

show her that you care and it will

open doors for other topics of discus-

sion allowing you to grow closer

Heather B 18 Oregon USA

Find Something You BothLike to Do

My mumrsquos relationship with me

skyrocketed when I said ldquoI want tospend more time with you but I donrsquot

know what to do or when to do itrdquo

Playing board games happens to be

our favorite pastime So we set aside

a time together to play laugh and

make memories When you are open

with your parents eventually they

become your best companions You

UPCOMING QUESTION

ldquoMy parents just

got divorced Irsquom angry that they

have broken up our

family How doI forgive themrdquo

Send your answer and photo by

September 15 2014

Go to neweraldsorg click ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo enter your LDS Accountand then select ldquoNew Erardquo

Responses may be edited for length

or clarity

Responses are intended for help and per-

spective not as official pronouncements ofChurch doctrine

will be able to talk to them about

anything and you will be sure of an

honest answer That is the sign of a

mature relationship

Ephraim S 15 New South Wales Australia

Read Scriptures Together

Both of you could set a goal to read

together every day even just five

minutes from the Book of Mormon

or any other Church book It will

strengthen your relationship andnourish you with the word of God

so you can be ready to face each day

Remember also to pray to God and

ask for His help I know He hears you

and loves you

Laura M 19 Coacuterdoba Argentina

LEARN FROM

YOUR MOTHER

ldquoPlease look to yourfaithful mothers fora pattern to followModel yourselves

after them not after celebritieswhose standards are not the Lordrsquosstandards and whose values maynot reflect an eternal perspectiveLook to your mother Learn fromher strengths her courage andher faithfulness Listen to her She

may not be a whiz at texting shemay not even have a Facebookpage But when it comes to mat-ters of the heart and the thingsof the Lord she has a wealth ofknowledgerdquo

Elder M Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles ldquoMothers and Daughtersrdquo

Ensign May 2010 19

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4852

46 N e w E r a

MISERABLE TOTHE END OFTHE STREET

For one family home evening my

dad wanted to take advantage

of a pause in the rainy weather

to go on a walk around the neighbor-

hood I grumbled and complained

that it was too wet and muddy to

go walking I used the excuse that

I had a ballet recital that week and

didnrsquot want to sprain an ankle but

my dad didnrsquot buy it He insisted thatit was going to be the activity for the

evening I murmured a bit more about

the unfairness and my recital but we

left on the walk anyway

As I glumly stomped outside for

the walk with my family I was deter-

mined not to smile or be happy I

succeeded in feeling miserable until

I N S T A N T M E S S A G E S

we reached the end of the street Then

we turned the corner and I saw in full

force naturersquos beauty and wonder

Before me was a gorgeous sunset

and opposite it was a rainbow arching

above our neighborhood rooftops

I immediately forgot all about being

miserable and looked around in awe

On the way home I said a prayer of

gratitude thanking God for the beautyof His creations I later thanked my

dad for choosing the activity and for

allowing us to enjoy nature for that

family home evening

Jennie H North Carolina USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4952

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 47

STANDARDS AND FRIENDS

Since Irsquove been in school Irsquove had friends who havenrsquot understood the

moral standards of our religion At first it was difficult but over time

my friends have become used to the idea of my being morally clean I

made a goal in my life to be clean and pure and itrsquos worked out well both

for me and for those who used to criticize me Over time respect peace and

joy have become a part of our loving circle of friends

Vitoacuteria M Brazil

A DIFFICULT DECISION

FORGIVINGMY FRIENDS

As the only member of the

Church in my peer group

Irsquove experienced some

instances when my friends have

offended me Sometimes they judge

and criticize my religion I feel so

alone yet Irsquom thankful I know the

standards of the Church

If my friends offend me I try to

humble myself and avoid contention

because I know contention is evil When they start discussing some mat-

ters about the Church I just testify of

my belief in the gospel

I always forgive my friends with or

without their apology Forgiving is not

just about saying ldquoApology acceptedrdquo

or ldquoItrsquos OKrdquo because forgiveness has

a deep meaning Jesus Christ atoned

for our sins so that Heavenly Father

can forgive usEven though my friends donrsquot

understand my faith now I know that

I can be Godrsquos instrument to teach

them the gospel I am helping them

and at the same time I am helping

myself to grow spiritually and prepare

to serve a mission

Joshua V Philippines

As volleyball tryouts approached for my senior year in high

school I couldnrsquot believe the thought that was running through

my head I wasnrsquot supposed to play volleyball Irsquod played vol-

leyball since seventh grademdashwhy should this year be any different

Not seeing the sense in quitting I ignored the feeling and continued

to participate in summer volleyball events After a while the feeling

came back so I decided that if I really wasnrsquot supposed to be on the

team my coach would just cut me during tryouts

Then one night at the gym I couldnrsquot focus on the game at all I felt

terrible and restless inside I came home frustrated with my team and

with myself I sat next to my mom and sister and cried I told them

how confused I was and my mom told me to pray and ask Heavenly

Father what He wanted me to do I went up to my room and began to

pray I told Heavenly Father how I felt then I asked Him to help mefeel peace if I was not supposed to continue playing volleyball I felt

His peace in my heart and knew that I needed to quit

Irsquom still not sure all the reasons why that was the right

decision but I know that itrsquos what the Lord

wanted me to do and thatrsquos a good

enough reason for me

The next morning I told my

coach and my teammates that

I wasnrsquot going to be playing

Even though it was incrediblyhard I knew I was doing

the right thing

Klaire B Arizona USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5152

you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5252

WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 1952

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 17

certain wersquore headed in a direction leading to the right

destination We laugh and joke and enjoy the path until itrsquos

too late too dark and wersquore lost

When it comes to choosing the right trails in life our

Heavenly Father has provided tools to guide us and keep us

on the path that leads to Him We have the scriptures prayer

and revelation our parents guidelines like For the Strength

of Youth and our Church leaders to guide us through the

countless options life offers

When we do stray off the path itrsquos often our loving parents

and dedicated leaders who come to the rescue They can

guide us back to the correct way and show us where we

went wrong Through repentance we can correct those

wrongs and start fresh on the right path headed toward the

destination that will give us eternal happiness and a life in the

presence of our Heavenly Father NE

Duncan Anderson lives in Utah USA

CHOOSING RIGHT PATHS

ldquoI plead with you to make a determi-nation right here right now notto deviate from the path which willlead to our goal eternal life with ourFather in Heaven Along that straight

and true path there are other goals missionaryservice temple marriage Church activity scripturestudy prayer temple work There are countless wor-thy goals to reach as we travel through life Neededis our commitment to reach themrdquo

President Thomas S Monson ldquoThe Three Rs of Choicerdquo

Ensign Nov 2010 68

NEED ADVICE

Is there anything yoursquod like advice on Donrsquot be afraid to ask your

parents or Church leaders Remember they are there to help you

no matter what yoursquod like to talk about

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2052

One of the things we agree

to do as part of the bap-

tismal covenant is ldquoto

stand as witnesses of

God at all times and in all things and in

all places that [we] may be inrdquo (Mosiah

189) And incidentally we renew this

covenant every week when we partake

of the sacramentIn the April 2014 general conference

several speakers reminded us that there

will be times when standing as a witness

of God will mean having to face oppo-

sition criticism and ridicule So what

should you do when yoursquore required

to take the uncomfortable uncool or

unpopular step of defending your beliefs

By David A Edwards

Church Magazines

Be brave and humble firm and gentle

all at the same time With the Lordrsquos

help itrsquos not as hard as it sounds

18 N e w E r a

of Defe983150di983150983143Your Beliefs

Dorsquos 983137983150d

Donrsquots

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2152

you should rely on the Spiritto guide your defense of your

faith Bear testimony by the

Spirit Thatrsquos the Lordrsquos way

(See also DampC 1005ndash8)

The point here is not that

you should avoid any discus-

sion in which people have dif-

fering points of view Rather it

has to do with your intent as

well as the emotions involved

We should seek understand-

ing and try to persuade withmeekess not just score points

and prove wersquore right and

someone else is wrong A

discussion where people are

getting really worked up and

angry is one you should either

try to soften or simply avoid

Heavenly Father has given

you the gift of the Holy Ghost

and you should take advan-

tage of this gift This doesnrsquot

mean reason and logic canrsquot

be inspired or confirmed by

the Spirit it just means that

Elder W Craig Zwick of

the Seventy has explained

this scripture this way ldquoA lsquosoft

answerrsquo consists of a reasoned

responsemdashdisciplined words

from a humble heart It does

not mean we never speak

directly or that we compro-

mise doctrinal truth Words

that may be firm in infor-

mation can be soft in spiritrdquo

(ldquoWhat Are You Thinkingrdquo

Ensign May 2014 42)

ldquoA SOFT ANSWER TURNETH AWAY

wr983137thBUT

GRIEVOUS WORDS stir u983152 983137983150983143errdquo

(Proverbs 151)

ldquoBeholdI send you forthas sheep in the

midst of wolves be ye therefore wise as serpents

and h983137r983149less as dovesrdquo

(Matthew 1016)

The Savior doesnrsquot want

you to be ignorant or naiumlve

but He also doesnrsquot want you

to attack anyone Knowing

what goes on in the world

doesnrsquot mean we have to

use its tactics

ldquoCONTEND AGAINST

NO CHURCHrdquo (DampC 1820)

There is no need to

criticize other churches

Positive statements of your

beliefs rather than negative

statements about others will

be most effective As the

Prophet Joseph Smith said

ldquoWe donrsquot ask any people

to throw away any good

they have got we only ask

them to come and get morerdquo

(Teachings of Presidents

of the Church Joseph

Smith [2007] 155)

ldquoAND THOUSHALT DECLARE

983143l983137d tidi983150983143s ldquoAND THOU SHALTDO IT WITH 983137ll hu983149ilityTRUSTING IN ME 983154evili983150983143 983150ot

AGAINST REVILERSrdquo

(DampC 1929ndash30)

The tidings you declare

are glad Remember that

and make sure your face and

your voice show it too Also

the word revile here means

to hurl abusive or insulting

language at a person So if

ldquoFOR I AM

NOT ASHAMED

OF THE GOSPEL OF CHRISTrdquo

(Romans 116)

As President Thomas S

Monson has said ldquoWe will all

face fear experience ridiculeand meet opposition Let

usmdashall of usmdashhave the courage

to defy the consensus the

courage to stand for prin-

ciple Courage not com-

promise brings the smile of

Godrsquos approvalrdquo (ldquoBe Strong

and of a Good Couragerdquo

Ensign May 2014 69)

The scriptures give you some basic principles for standing up for your faith including the following

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 19

ldquoWe s983152e983137k

NOT IN THE WORDS which 983149983137983150rsquos

WISDOM TEACH ETH

but which THE HOLY GHOST

TEACHETHrdquo

(1 Corinthians 213)

ldquoHE THATHATH THE

SPIRIT OF CONTENTIONIS NOT OF ME

BUT ISOF THE DEVIL

WHO IS THE FATHER OFCONTENTION AND

HE STIRRETH UPTHE HEARTS

OF MEN

TO CONTEND WITH ANGER

ONE WITH ANOTHERrdquo(3 Nephi 1129)

HERErsquoS SOME ADVICE FROM THE SCRIPTURES

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2252

How Do You Defend Do you have experi-ence in defending yourbeliefs Or do you haveideas to add to theselists Go to ldsorggodefendNE8 and share

Finding Courage

Read more on this topic atldsorggocourageNE8

someonersquos doing that to you

donrsquot retaliate and do the

same thing back to them The

Apostle Peter taught that the

Savior Himself gave the exam-

ple you should follow in thisregard (see 1 Peter 223)

ldquoLOVE YOUR ENEMIESbless them

that curse you

DO GOOD TO T HEMTHAT HATE YOU

and pray for

them which

DESPITEFULLY USE YOUAND PERSECUTE YOUrdquo

(Matthew 544)ldquoSEE THAT YE ARE NOT lifted u983152 u983150to

983152ride ye983137 SEE THAT YE DO

NOT BOAST IN YOUR

OWN WISDOM

983150or of your 983149uch stre983150983143thldquoUSE BOLDNESS

BUT NOT

OVERBEARANCErdquo (Alma 3811ndash12)

Here the word tenets

refers to opinions or teachings

that go beyond the basics So

the Lord is saying to stick to

the basic message of the gos-

pel when yoursquore declaring Hisglad tidings This also applies

to defending your faith

You donrsquot need to stray into

detailed discussions about

every little thing related to the

Church As Elder Richard G

Scott of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles has said

ldquoKeep your sharing of the

gospel simple rdquo (ldquo lsquoI HaveGiven You an Examplerdquo

Ensign May 2014 34)

ldquoEveryone independent

of his or her decisions and

beliefs deserves our kind-

ness and considerationrdquo said

Elder Neil L Andersen of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles ldquoThe Savior

taught us to love not only

our friends but also those

who disagree with usmdashand

even those who repudiate

usrdquo (ldquoSpiritual Whirlwindsrdquo

Ensign May 2014 20)

Again be humble Itrsquos not

about you or how smart and

capable you are Also you can

be bold without making over-

blown statements or being

a verbal or intellectual bully

As Elder Jeffrey R Holland

of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoYou willone day find yourself called

upon to defend your faith

Such moments will require

both courage and courtesy

on your partrdquo (ldquoThe Costmdashand

Blessingsmdashof Discipleshiprdquo

Ensign May 2014 6)

ldquoA983150d of te983150ets thou sh983137lt 983150ot t983137lk but thou shalt

declare repentance andfaith on the Savior and 983154e983149issio983150 of si983150sby baptism and by fire

yea even the Holy Ghostrdquo(DampC 1931)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2352

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2452

22 N e w E r a

I received my first two-wheel bicycle

when I was eight years old With

the help of my older brother and

father I began the rather scary pro-

cess of figuring out how to ride it The other kids in the neighborhood

made it look so easy and natural as

they zoomed up and down the street

on their bikes I perched on the bike

seatmdashwhich seemed to be at least

10 feet (3 m) above the groundmdashand

realized there was absolutely noth-

ing to keep me from falling over and

proving that the law of gravity was

alive and well As I tried riding I learned quickly

that if I wanted to stay balanced I had

to keep pedaling When I first sat on

the seat speed was the last thing I

wanted to add to the already daunting

equation But I very soon understood

the wisdom and the physics involved

in moving forward As long as I kept

pedaling I could stay upright and

avoid the rough concrete just waiting

to take the skin off my arms and legs

Soon I was zipping around the neigh-

borhood with my friends

Defy Gr983137vity Defy Gr983137vity

of the First Presidency as outlined

in that booklet our lives will be bal-

anced and steady We will be led

where we want to go

We need to keep moving forwardto avoid falling To do that we should

consistently and faithfully do certain

actions

bull Pray morning and night

bull Study the scriptures daily

bull Attend Church meetings and par-

take of the sacrament worthily

bull Serve those around us

bull Be worthy to attend the temple

All of these actions keep us moving

forward in the right direction

Thatrsquos why reading and being famil-

iar with the standards described in For

the Strength of Youth will help ensure

we are making choices consistent with

Godrsquos standards Living these princi-

ples and keeping the commandments

F O R T H E S T R E N G T H O F Y O U T H

By Bonnie LOscarson

Young WomenGeneral President

As you keep moving forward you can stay upright even

when outside forces try to pull you down

Just as those who keep

pedaling a bike can stay

upright despite gravityrsquos

influence those who are

guided by the Holy Spirit in

all they do can withstand

the influence of theadversary

So it is with living the gospel and

the standards in For the Strength of

Youth It takes faith to believe that if

we consistently follow the counsel

GO FORWARD WITH FAITH

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2552

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 23

invite the Holy Ghost to be our con-

stant companion Just as those who

keep pedaling a bike can stay upright

despite gravityrsquos influence those who

are guided by the Holy Spirit in allthey do can withstand the influence of

the adversary

What are the destinations you have

in mind as you pedal forward For all

young men of the Aaronic Priesthood

preparing now for a full-time mission

is important in forward growth For

all youth being prepared to go to the

temple and receive the endowment by

making and keeping sacred covenantsshould also be a primary goal

As the message from the First

Presidency at the beginning of For the

Strength of Youth says ldquoIn all that you

do stay focused on the temple In the

temple you will receive the greatest

of all the Lordrsquos blessings including

marriage for time and all eternityrdquo1

Receiving the covenant of eternal

marriage in the house of the Lord and

becoming righteous husbands wives

fathers and mothers may seem far

down the road but the time to beginpreparing is now All of these things

lead to the most glorious and grand

destination of allmdasheternal life with

our Heavenly Father

One of my favorite scriptures

sums up what we need to do in order

to keep moving toward our goals

ldquoWherefore ye must press forward

with a steadfastness in Christ hav-

ing a perfect brightness of hopeand a love of God and of all men

Wherefore if ye shall press forward

feasting upon the word of Christ and

endure to the end behold thus saith

the Father Ye shall have eternal liferdquo

(2 Nephi 3120)

Just as I learned as an eight-year-

old girl that I needed to keep pedaling

and moving forward in order to defy

gravity and keep my balance on my

bicycle it is important for all of us to

keep moving forward with faith trust-

ing in the counsel of living prophetsand a loving Heavenly Father to keep

us from falling Some of our destina-

tions are just down the road while

others will take a lifetime of faithful

living to achieve The promises of

what lies at the end of the road if we

are faithful are certain and glorious

and well worth the ride NE

NOTE

1 For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

Learn MoreSee whatrsquos next in your covenant path

at ldsorggocovenantNE8

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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24 N e w E r a

BOA R D

GA M E S

B y Da vid Chris tensen

My chance to play le f t

a lasting impact but it

wasnrsquot what Irsquod e xpected

L o s i n

g s o

q u i c k

l y w

a s b

a d e

n o u

g h

b

u t t o

m a k

e m

a t t e r s

w o r s e

t h

e o t h

e r g

u y

s s t a r t e

d t o

m a k

e

f u n

o f

m e

I

t r i e d

t o c o

n t i n

u e

p l a y i n g

e v e

n t h

o u

g h

t h e y

w e r

e b

e i n

g m

e a n

b

u t i t

w a s h

a r d t o h o

l d b

a c k m y t e

a r s

o f f r u s t

r a t i o n

U

n f o

r t u n a t e l y

o n e t e

a r t r i c k l e

d d

o w

n m y

c h e e

k b

e f o

r e I

c o u

l d w i p

e i t

a w a y M

y b

r o t h

e r

s a w i t

a n d

t e a s e

d m

e t o

o

I c o

u l d

n rsquo t

t a k e i t

a n y

m o r e

a n d

r a n t o

m y

r o o m

I g a v e m y s e l

f a q u i c k p i n

c h

t o m a k e s u r

e I w a s n rsquo

t d r e a m i n g

a n d t h e

n I v o i c e d

a t i m i d ldquo Y e

a h

s u r e rdquo I s t

i l l c o u l d

n rsquo t b e l i e

v e t h a t

m y b r o t h e

r h a d i n v

i t e d m e t o

p l a y a g a m e w i t h

t h e ldquo b i g k i

d s rdquo

A f t e r a l l

I rsquo d b e e n t o l d f o r t h

r e e

y e a r s t h a

t I w a s s t i l l

t o o y o u

n g

t o p l a y m o r e d i f fi

c u l t b o a

r d

g a m e s w i t h m y b r o

t h e r a n d

h i s f r i e n d s

A N D B R O

T H

E R S

I

felt the hot tears of anger slowly slide

down my face I wiped them away with

my hand but I could still feel the

slightly salty taste on my lips assobs of anguish began to pour out

I just wanted to hang out with my

brother Why couldnrsquot he be my

friend too

J u s t a f e w

h o u r s

b e f o

r e I h a d

s t a r e d a t

m y o

l d e r b

r o t h

e r S t e v e

i n c o

m p

l e t e s u r p

r i s e

w a i t i n

g f o r h

i m t o

t e

l l

m e t h

a t h e w

a s o n

l y

j o k i n g ldquo W

e l l d o y o

u

w a n

t t o p

l a y rdquo S t e v e

a s k e d i m p

a

t i e n t l y

I w

e n t i n t o t h e

r o o m w h

e r e t h e

o l d e r b o y s

w e r e

s e t t i n g u p

t h e b o a r d

g a m e A s t h e

g a m e s t a r t e d

w i t h

e v e r y o n e s t r a t e g i c a l l y

p l a c i n g

t h e i r g a m

e

p i e c e s

I f e l t l i k e

I w

a s d r e a

m i n g F o r

t h e fi r s t t i m

e

I f e l t e q u a l t o

m y b r o t h e r mdash

n o t l i k e I

w a s j u s t h i s

t a g a l o n g

T h e d r e a m

e n d e d q u i c k

l y h o w e v e r

T h e

g a m e w

a s t o u g h

a n d m y i n

e x p e r i e n c e

a n d l a c k

o f k n o w l e d g e

b e c

a m e

p a i n f u l l y o b v i o u s

a s t h e o t

h e r

p l a y e r s q u i c k l y

a n d

s o u n d l y d e f e a t e d

m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2852

26 N e w E r a

Le983137r983150i983150983143 the i983150s 983137983150d outs of d983137ti983150983143 c983137983150 be h983137rd Let this course tur983150 you

i983150to 983137 d983137ti983150983143 983152ro

By Matthew ORichardson

Served as Second

Counselor in theSunday SchoolGeneral Presidencyfrom 2009 to 2014

hile speaking to youth about how to prepare for a celestial marriage

President Thomas S Monson emphasized that ldquoproper dating is a part

of preparation for marriagerdquo 1 Have you thought much about happy

relationships Elder Russell M Nelson of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said a ldquocelestial marriage brings greater possibilities for happiness than

does any other relationshiprdquo2

When I was serving as bishop in a young single adult ward I worried about those

who approached dating with very little purpose understanding or direction This

caused me to wonder if my own children would be any different when their time came

My wife and I decided to help our children prepare for ldquoproper datingrdquo and happy rela-tionships by creating the Richardson Dating Academy or RDA as our children call it

It wasnrsquot long after we started the RDA that friends of our children wanted to partici-

pate and even become RDA graduates So how about you Are you ready to become a

dating academy graduate yourself Class is in session

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 27

Lesso983150 1 ur983152oses 983137983150d St983137983150d983137rds of D983137ti983150983143

Lesso983150 2 W983137tch 983137983150d Le983137r983150

Homework

As you know ldquodatingrdquo means different things to differ-

ent people Your first assignment is to figure out just what

a ldquodaterdquo is according to Church standards Can you explain

the purposes of dating and the specific dating standards and

guidelines set by the Church Or do you know when itrsquosmost appropriate to be involved in dating and steady dating

(having a boyfriend or girlfriend)

You can find answers to these questions in the ldquoDatingrdquo

section of For the Strength of Youth The First Presidency

reminds us why knowing and understanding these stan-

dards are so important They promise ldquoThe standards in this

Elder Jeffrey R Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles once explained that most athletic contests have ldquolines

drawn on the floor or the field within which every participant

must stay in order to competerdquo3 Success depends on how

well a competitor knows and stays within the set boundaries

Likewise itrsquos important to know the ldquodating linesrdquo or the pur-

poses and standards of dating as taught by Church leaders

One of the most com-

mon ways people learn

is by watching others

Dating is no different

In the dating academy

we spend time observ-

ing others in dating

situations In our family

we learned many point-ersmdashsome to do others

to avoidmdashby watching

dates in progress at

restaurants and other

settings Yes we went to

certain places with the

sole purpose to observe

dates for ldquoclassrdquo

booklet will help you with the important choices you are

making now and will yet make in the futurerdquo4

Now that you have a solid foundation of the stan-

dards and purposes of dating (you did do your home-

work and read that section didnrsquot you) itrsquos time to move

on to lesson 2

Tips

Here are some suggestions that will help you learn

as you observe

bull Watch but donrsquot be creepy This is about learning from

others but not stalking staring or even judging Look for

things you like and things you would like to avoid

bull Go to a variety of places and settings to observe others

Not every date is the same nor should it be Watch how thesetting affects the experience

bull Watch how people interact with each other Can you tell

who is with whom Are they paying attention to each

other In what ways Are they talking with each other Do

they look like they enjoy being with each other How can

you tell if they are having fun

bull Talk with a parent leader or good friends and share what

you noticed and what you learned

Homework

The next time you go

out to eat attend a movie

or go to almost any activ-

ity make an effort to look

around and see how other

people are interacting It

may surprise you to see

how much dating is actu-ally going on Take the

time to learn from those

around you by paying

attention to whatrsquos work-

ing and what isnrsquot

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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28 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 3 l983137983150983150i983150983143 983137 D983137te

Tips

bull Start planning early

bull Donrsquot be afraid to bounce ideas off your friendsparents and others They can provide excellent

suggestions that you havenrsquot even thought about

bull Make sure you let your budget amount of time

available the reasons for dating and Church stan-

dards guide your planning

bull Think of what you hope will happen during the

date from beginning to end This helps you realize

what needs to be done to make the date a success

bull Pay attention to details Call ahead for event times

prices menus and what the proper dress is for

the occasion

bull Plan for emergencies For example what will you

do if you donrsquot have enough money or have car

trouble What if your date gets sick

Homework

Rather than leaving everything to chance dating acad-

emy grads understand what needs to happen and theyplan accordingly

Your homework assignment even if yoursquore years away

from dating is to practice planning an event You can

brainstorm with friends really fun ideas for a date Then

work together to think of what planning is required to

make those ideas actually happen Or you can ask your

parents to let you plan the next family outing

You might choose a place to eat or what to do Plan all

the details (event times travel time cost backup plans)

and then put your plan into action You could evencome up with a dating plan complete with backup ideas

if something goes wrong and share it in family home

evening while talking together around the dinner table

or with friends You may find that properly planning an

activity is almost as much fun as the actual date

The quality of experience yoursquoll have with others is

often determined by what happens before a date begins

Showing up on your datersquos doorstep with no plan is a

recipe for an awkward experience Nobody likes playing

the ldquoWhat do you want to dordquo game

Yoursquore better than that With a little practice you can

become a date-planning champion And young women

no fair skipping this section While most of the time young

men plan and ask for dates yoursquoll still want to have these

skills down for when itrsquos your turn

Group Date IdeasNeed ideas Check out ldsorggoideasNE8 Some

of the youth activities there could be adapted for dates

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 3152

Homework

In the Richardson Dating Academy all of our

children practiced dating invitations For example

our children might call an aunt older sibling or other

family member to practice inviting someone on a

date Or our son or daughter would receive an invita-

tion from a family member and practice responding

They learned how to deal with rejection acceptance

or even a disinterested response or two

Now itrsquos your turn Working with your parents ask

them to line up somebody in your family you can call

and practice inviting on a date Make sure you do this

more than once

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 29

You know your dating standards front and back

yoursquove watched others in dating situations and

yoursquove come up with a solid date plan

Congratulations Now you still need to invite

someone Or you need to know how to respond

when you are invited So whatrsquos the best way A

phone call Ask in person Here are some different

points to consider

Lesso983150 4 I983150viti983150983143 Others 983137983150d Bei983150983143 I983150vited

Tips

bull Be ready to give details when you invite

someone on a date Talk about what you have

planned start and end times whorsquos participat-ing and how they should dress (casual dressy

etc) Your excellent planning from academy

lesson 3 makes this part of the academy easy

bull Therersquos a time to talk by phone and a time to

ask face-to-face The more important the event

is the more personal the invitation should be

Donrsquot be afraid to skip technology and actually

talk with someone

bull Some events may require you to speak with

your datersquos parents first This shows respectand courtesy

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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30 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 5 O983150 the D983137te

It would be impossible for any dating academy to cover

every little thing to consider or plan for in dating So much

depends on good judgment communication with your par-

ents and listening to the Spirit

Still here are a few key points you might want to brush

up on before putting your date plan into action

Tips

bull Develop a ldquoyou firstrdquo attitude This means you always

think of your date first Is he or she having fun Is he or

she comfortable

bull Make sure you dress appropriately for the occasion

The way you dress usually communicates how you feelabout others and about the event Know the difference

between casual (but never sloppy) semiformal and

formal and when it would be appropriate to dress in

those ways

bull Show common courtesy by opening doors saying

thank you talking less about yourself and more about

your date and extending sincere compliments

bull Learn how to navigate restaurants Know how to make

a reservation get a table calculate a service tip and

pay the bill

Homework

Once again the best way to learn any good skill is by practic-

ing it Our youth enjoyed role-playing different situations

to think about how to act most appropriately We

also loved going out to eat as part of the dating acad-

emy experience Our children learned how to act in

a restaurant order a meal calculate the tip and paythe bill by actually doing it when they were with us

Look for opportunities to practice skills you should use on a

date For example the next time you and your family go some-

where ask your parents to let you purchase the tickets order

the meal or calculate the tip Treat your family or friends with

the same respect and courtesy that you should show others on a

date Open doors for your family be the first to say ldquothank yourdquo

and pay attention so you are part of the conversation

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 31

Lesso983150 6 The Doorste983152

NOTES

1 Thomas S Monson ldquoPreparation BringsBlessingsrdquo Ensign May 2010 64

2 Russell M Nelson ldquoCelestial Marriagerdquo Ensign Nov 2008 93

3 Jeffrey R Holland ldquoWe Are All Enlistedrdquo Ensign Nov 2011 45

4 ldquoMessage to the Youth from The First Presi-dencyrdquo For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

5 John Bytheway ldquoWhat Do Kisses Meanrdquo New Era Oct 2004 38ndash41

Last but not least dating

academy graduates know how

to conclude a date on the right

note Nothing sours a great date

more than a bad ending

Herersquos how you can finish a

date with success

Tips

bull Express gratitude Be sincere

and to the point If there was something you especially

liked tell your date what

it was

bull Therersquos no reason for drag-

ging things on at this point

Yoursquove already spent plenty

of time together Avoid the

ldquodoorstep shufflerdquo When

people arenrsquot sure what to

say they tend to shuffle backand forth or move their feet

in place If you find yourself

ldquoshufflingrdquo in place itrsquos a

pretty good signal that you

need to say good-bye

bull Know and follow the

Churchrsquos counsel on kissing

and physical intimacy (You

might also want to read John

Bythewayrsquos article ldquoWhat Do

Kisses Meanrdquo5 at ldsorggo

kissesNE8)

Homework

Yes herersquos another opportunity for practicing Our family has spent several family

home evenings role-playing doorstep good-byes Itrsquos been both helpful and fun to

watch an older sibling coach the younger sibling with dorsquos and donrsquots

Most memorable was an older sister showing how she could turn a hug into a

handshake with the grace of a princess and the speed of a ninja You too can get

together with family members and role-play different scenarios that might happen on

a doorstep We guarantee itrsquoll be an academy night yoursquoll all remember

Gr983137du983137tio983150

If yoursquove studied all the

material worked on the tips done

the homework and talked through

the lessons with your parents and

family you too can become a

dating academy graduate

As you continue strengthening

these important skills yoursquoll find

support strength and power that

will bless your relationships both

now and in the future You will be

better prepared for happiness NE

Do Try This at HomeInterested in having a dating academy at

home Let your parents know therersquos an RDAarticle for them in this monthrsquos Ensign or atldsorggoRDA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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32 N e w E r a

S U N DA Y L E S S

O N S

This Monthrsquos Topic

Ma r r iage a nd

Fa m i l y

MARRIAGE IS WORTH ITldquoIt is so rewarding to bemarried Marriage is wonder-ful In time you begin to thinkalike and have the same ideasand impressions You havetimes when you are extremelyhappy times of testing andtimes of trial but the Lordguides you through all ofthose growth experiencestogetherrdquo

Elder Richard G Scott of the

Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo

Ensign May 2011 96

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 33

We love being marr ied and he

rersquos why

By Ben and Rachel Nielsen

Letrsquos face it girls (and boys) itrsquos nice to know that someone loves you

And when yoursquore married you have chances to share and receive love every

day When I was talking to my parents about the possibility of marrying

Ben my dad said ldquoWhomever you choose to marry I want him to fre-

quently and sincerely express his love for you like Elder Richard G Scott did

for his wiferdquo3 I listened to Dad

I decided to marry Ben and he has always made an effort to express

his love to me in small and big ways During my senior year of college I

worked for months to prepare apply and interview for a prestigious intern-ship And when I finally heard that I got the job I came home and saw a

vase full of flowers from my husband He knew how hard I had worked and

how much the internship meant to me At other times hersquoll hide my favorite

drink and a love note in the fridge before he heads out for a weekend Scout

camp And every day hersquoll do the dishes and make me laugh Ben is great at

expressing his love for me and that brings both of us great joy

During my mission in Brazil I grew to love soccer One thing that I lovemost about this sport is having teammates and learning how to work together

with my team Rachel is a fantastic teammate She helps me achieve my

goals joins me in making important decisions and is there for me when I

have trouble

When we were sealed in the temple we promised to ldquohelp one another as

equal partnersrdquo2 Rachel and I strive to support each other in everything we

do and itrsquos great to know that I always have a reliable teammate

After our first date we both

knew we wanted to go

on a second date Ben

wanted to go on

another date because Rachel was

friendly and fun to talk to Rachel

wanted to go on another date

because Ben was a gentleman

and was still smiling after all of

his well-laid plans fell through

After the second date plus manymore dates and prayers after

that we fell in love and decided

to get married in the Sacramento

California Temple

The wedding day was abso-

lutely perfect and we have loved

being married ever since The

world may see marriage differ-

ently but we know that ldquono other

relationship of any kind canbring as much joy generate as

much good or produce as much

personal refinementrdquo1 Marriage

is awesome and herersquos why

FROM BEN A T e a m m a t e

FROM RACHEL

E x p r e s s i o n s o f L o v e

WHY MARRIAGE IS

A w e s o m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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34 N e w E r a

JOIN THE CONVERSATION

Things to Ponder for Sunday

bull What qualities and attitudes make for the strongest

and happiest marriages and families

bull What are you doing now that will help your future

marriage and family stay strong and happy

Things You Might Do

bull Share with some friends your goal of marrying and

having a family and tell them why

bull In church share why you are looking forward

to marriage and family and how you are pre-

paring for them

serving in the Church and inviting others to come unto

Christ As we work together to build the kingdom of God

we grow closer our love deepens and life is more fulfilling

Dating Rachel is so much fun In fact we make surethat we still frequently go on dates even as a married

couple After we first met we found that we enjoy many

of the same activities walking through parks attending

plays watching sporting events eating new and different

food listening to music and so much more I loved doing

these things before I met Rachel but theyrsquore even more

fun now that we get to share them together When yoursquore

married you have someone to enjoy life withmdashand that

makes life awesome

Before I met Ben I was nearing the age of missionary

service and had seriously considered serving a full-time

mission But then Ben entered my life and I knew that

Heavenly Father had a different plan for me

When Ben and I got engaged relatives who knew

about my thoughts to serve a mission asked me about my

choice and I would tell them ldquoI decided that I wanted topick my own missionary companionmdashand stay with him

for eternityrdquo

When yoursquore married you and your spouse have the

chance to participate in the work of salvation together

Ben and I have found great joy in building a Christ-

centered home studying and living the gospel together

Despite what the world may say marriage is awesome

and is worth making a priority When yoursquore married you

have a teammate you give and receive love you enjoy life

more fully and you have someone to build the kingdom

of God with All of that brings us great joy and because

we were sealed in the temple we can have this joy forever

If we keep our covenants we will be together for eternityand receive the crowning blessings of the priesthood We

ldquohave found in marriage the richest fulfillment of human

existencerdquo 4 NE

Ben and Rachel Nielsen live in Utah USA

NOTES

1 L Whitney Clayton ldquoMarriage Watch and Learnrdquo Ensign May 2013 83 2 ldquoThe Family A Proclamation to the Worldrdquo Ensign Nov 2010 129 3 See Richard G Scott ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo Ensign May

2011 96 4 James E Faust ldquoEnriching Your Marriagerdquo Ensign Apr 2007 6

FROM BEN M o r e E n jo y m e n t

FROM RACHEL A n E t e r n a l M is s i o n a r y C o m p a n io n

TAKE IT FROM US

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Your family can help unite the family of GodYou can all share the gospel in natural and pleasant ways

P H O T O I L L U S T R A T I O N B Y D A V I D S T O K E R

M O R M O N A D

(See M Russell Ballard ldquoPut Your Trust in the Lordrdquo Ensign Nov 2013 43)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 3852

36 N e w E r a

By Alex Larsen

I always knew I wanted to be a mother but when I was grow-

ing up it wasnrsquot always on my mind When my fianceacute and I

were engaged one day I was talking with one of my college

professorsmdasha woman I greatly admiredmdashabout my engage-

ment She said something that brought my life choices into sharp

focus ldquoYou are wasting your talentrdquo she told me as she shook

her head She went on to say that someone as smart as I was

should not get married young She assumed I would have chil-

dren in my future and would be ldquothrowing awayrdquo my education

and chances of a stellar career on my future motherhood I could

tell by the way she looked at me that she thought I was making

a terrible and naiumlve mistake

Itrsquos been several years since that conversation and my hus-

band and I have two little girls Kate is three years old and is

my little sweetheart She moves through life at a leisurely pace

savoring all of the little details she notices Annabel is one yearold with bright blue eyes and a head of curls Shersquos exuberant

and determined Though I didnrsquot change my mind because of

what my professor said our discussion has stayed with me In

one way my professorrsquos predictions were correct I do not have

a prestigious working career But my professor got the most

important point wrong because I have wasted nothing

g i v i n

g u p e v e r y

t hi n g

but wh a t

I

g a i n ed

w as w o r t h so much m o r e

T h e wor l d t o l d me

I w ould

b e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 37

their spirits growing and developing I remember

the first time Kate pointed to a picture of the Savior and

said ldquoJesusrdquo I knew then that what I was doing was eter-

nally significant in the lives of my children

The world often tells us that lifersquos rewards come in

the form of status money or grand accomplishments

but I know therersquos great satisfaction even in the small

acts of changing diapers or wiping sticky fingers Every

little thing I do as a mother is part of helping to build the

kingdom of God by nurturing His children I always knew

I wanted children but it was not until I held my first baby

in my arms that I began to realize how much my heart

was capable of loving

The love I have for my daughters has helped me bet-

ter understand how much my Heavenly Father loves all

of His children When speaking of little children Jesustaught that ldquoof such is the kingdom of heavenrdquo (Matthew

1914) More than anything motherhood has helped me

to grow as a daughter of God because now I know what

a daughter of God looks like from the eyes of a parent

The world makes us think that a woman loses herself in

motherhoodmdashshe loses her body her free time and her

career But I have found myself in motherhood I feel

more beautiful and more valuable than ever before NE

Alex Larsen lives in California USA

I love the opportunity to stay home and care for my

young children because these are the most formative

years of their lives I have the opportunity to create a rich

home environment for my girls by reading and discussing

things with them as part of our everyday life Kate will

often astound me by remembering and commenting on

something wersquod read in a book several weeks before and

Annabel learns a new skill almost every day But as fun

and important as it is to watch them learn new

information and skills I feel the

most satisfied when I see

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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38 N e w E r a

One o f t h e g r e a t e s t ad v enture s o f y o u r l i f e w i l l b e y our rol e a n d c a l l i n g a s a f a t her

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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ROcksROcksROcks

NOTE

1 See Thomas S Monson ldquoWelcome to Conferencerdquo Ensign Nov 2012 4ndash5

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 39

DA D D A DD AD

By Chris Deaver

W

hen I was younger I loved spending time

with my dad He always knew the bestgames to play the best stories to tell at night

and the most interesting sports to try It was

like he was born to be a great dad

Fast-forward my life to when I married my sweetheart

Julia and then even further to the moment that our first

child Daniel was born I was filled with a rush of emo-

tions I was happy shocked amazed and a little scared

I felt totally inadequate to be a father and to have the

responsibility of teaching and being an example to my son

But I quickly realized that Irsquod been preparing all my life tobe a dad When I held my son in my arms for the first time

and looked down into his face I felt the Spirit touch my

heart and I realized that I was ready to try to be a great

dad just like my own dad was to me

When Daniel was very young he already had a great

sense of humor He learned to tell hilarious jokes that

would make my wife and me laugh He also often said

things that inspired us Shortly after hearing President

Thomas S Monson announce the change in age require-

ments for young men and young women preparingto serve missions1 we were driving in the car Daniel

announced that he would start preparing himself right

then at age six so he would have 12 years of preparation

Then he said with a smile ldquoDad can I change the song

from lsquoI Hope They Call Me on a Missionrsquo to lsquoI AM Going on

a Missionrsquordquo It was awesome

WHYbeing a

Three years after Daniel was born he was followed by his

brother Austin For me as a dad itrsquos been great to watch bothboys become best friends And Austin has been just as fun

as Daniel in his own way He enjoys building and destroying

block towers and one of his favorite activities is to fearlessly

wrestle me as if I stand no chance against his four-year-old

powers Of course I give in and let him winmdashso I guess I

reinforce his belief But itrsquos so much fun I know hersquoll be a

great wrestler but what I want most is for him to wrestle

ldquoagainst the rulers of the darkness of this worldrdquo and ldquoagainst

spiritual wickednessrdquo like it says in the scriptures (Ephesians

612) And I hope Irsquom helping to prepare him to do that We just recently had our third child a baby girl named

Faith During the delivery my wife was having some com-

plications and we were scared for our baby I gave Julia

a blessing Then she asked me to sing to her The Spirit

brought peace to both of us Soon baby Faith came safely

into the world It was a miracle and she definitely lived up

to her name Faithrsquos beautiful smile brightens my life I canrsquot

express in words how much she means to me

For any young man still wondering let me tell you You

were born to be a great dad The world may not agree butfatherhood is the best Someday yoursquoll find that your kids

inspire you too and that being a dad is the greatest adven-

ture of your life Yes itrsquos a duty and something you need to

take seriously but being a dad is unlike anything else NE

Chris Deaver lives in Florida USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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40 N e w E r a

We always seem to be encouraged to read more

because well everyone knows that reading is a

good thing But not all books are worth reading and just

because sexual material is written about rather than pho-

tographed or video recorded doesnrsquot mean that itrsquos less

morally hazardous Making a common display of a sacred

intimacy thatrsquos intended to only be part of a marriage rela-

tionship is wrongmdashwhether in words or imagesIf something yoursquore reading contains explicit sexual

descriptions that imprint themselves on your mind and

arouse sexual feelings in the same way that looking at

pornographic images would then guess what Itrsquos pornog-

raphy Remember the counsel in For the Strength of Youth

ldquoChoose wisely when using media because whatever you

read listen to or look at has an effect on you Select only

media that uplifts yourdquo ([2011] 11) NE

T O T H E P O I N T

President Boyd K

Packer President of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoEach

of us must come to ourown personal testimony

of the Lord Jesus Christ

We then share that testi-

mony with our family and

othersrdquo1 It can sometimes

be easy to question the

depth of your testimony

I know looking at pornographic

pictures is wrong but whatabout reading books with

ldquoromanticrdquo scenes

If I donrsquot have a burning

desire to share thegospel does that mean I

donrsquot have a testimony

when you compare your-

self to people like Brigham

Young who once said ldquoI

wanted to thunder and

roar out the gospel to thenations It burned in my

bones like fire pent uprdquo2

So what if you donrsquot feel

fire in your bones

Hopefully your lack of

desire doesnrsquot come from

a lack of concern for your

fellowmen As your faith in

Jesus Christ grows so does

your love of all people a

love that is a mark of the

true followers of Christ (see

Moroni 748 John 1335)

Itrsquos likely however

that your hesitancy sim-

ply comes from fear and

anxiety about speaking toothers For many people

such feelings can be over-

whelming Even prophets

have had doubts about their

ability to speak to people

(see Exodus 410 Moses

631) They of course

had no reason to question

their testimoniesmdashand

neither should you if you

are studying the scriptures

pondering praying fasting

repenting and doing all the

other things that help bring

the Spirit into your life

If you feel you just

need a little extra cour-age to share the gos-

pel visit ldsorggo

shareNE8 for ideas NE

NOTES

1 Boyd K Packer ldquoThe Witnessrdquo Ensign May 2014 96

2 Teachings of Presidents ofthe Church Brigham Young (1997) viii

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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C O M E F O L L O W M E

Family

983152983137tter983150 of

President Boyd K PackerPresident of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

April 2014 general conference

The ultimate end

of all activity in

the Church is that

a man and his wife

and their childrencan be happy

at home

The FamilyYoursquoll be studying about the family in your Sunday classes

this month As you study and discuss family you may pon-der these questions Why do Church leaders emphasize

family so much What is the place of family in Heavenly

Fatherrsquos plan How does family help make us happy

To find some answers to these questions see the

family proclamation near the back of your Personal

Progress or Duty to God booklet or online at ldsorg

gofamilyNE8 Yoursquoll also find teachings about

family relationships in general conference talks at

conferenceldsorg

Give yourself an easy reminder to prepare for your

Sunday lessons on the family Just place these cards

in your scriptures locker or bedroom You can also

download or share them online at ldsorggocardsNE8 B A C K G R O U N D T E X T U R E

B Y I S T O C K P H O T O T H I N K S T O C K

We 983150eed We 983150eed

MOR E

983155tre983150983143the983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

RELATIONSHIPS

983153u983137lity 983153u983137lity TIME amp EFFORT INTO

TO PUT

983155re983150983143te983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4452

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4552

T H E E X T R A S M I L E

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 43

I dont like to pack so I rsquo m just wearing all my stuff

JON CLARK

W h a t m a k e s y o

u t h i n k

D a d rsquo s t a l k i n g t o

t h e

p r o p h e t

B ecaus e h e s ai d h e w as on a conf er ence cal l

RYAN STOKER

F r o m n o w o n j u s t t a k e

a p i c t u r e o f t h e t o o t h a n

d

u p l o a d i t t o m y F a c e b o o k

p a g e

a n d t h e n I rsquo l l s e n d y o u t h e

m o n e y t h r o u g h P a y P a l

RANDY GLASBERGEN

[Gasp] He he made h is bed this morning

And I didnrsquo t even ask

VAL CHADWICK BAGLEY

Who says there arenrsquo t modern m iracles

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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44 N e w E r a

ldquoMymom works

Since you donrsquot see your mom often make sure that

the time you do have together is used well You

could talk to your mom about how to do this She

wants a good relationship with you too and will

help you work on it Try asking her what she would

appreciate coming home to a clean house doing an activity

together just talking with you As you regularly do activities your mom appreciates your relationship will improve

Of course you could plan some fun activities to do together

but any meaningful time togethermdashsuch as washing the dishes

or reading the scripturesmdashcan be a great way to build your

relationship

Also plan time for communication Understanding one

another is a key ingredient in good relationships One thing

to discuss is how your momrsquos work schedule will affect your

relationship with her You can avoid misunderstandings if you

talk about your expectations as well as your momrsquosPrayer will help Families are important to Heavenly Father

so He can inspire you to know how to improve your relation-

ship with your mom Donrsquot ignore a prompting to do something

that seems small (see Alma 376) A hug and a smile for exam-

ple can make a big difference NE

Write a Note

Even if you have very

little time together you

can still express your

love to your mother

Write her thoughtful secret notes As

she reads them at work she will think

of you Do as much as you can for

her Think about her more often and

pray for her Ask the Lord to inspire

you and prompt you regarding how

you can improve your relationship Irinka E 20 Odessa Ukraine

Seek to Understand Her

Try to understand her situation

because she works for your benefit

You can begin by helping with things

at home like cleaning the house

helping your siblings and cooking

You also can share scriptures with

your mom pray together and doactivities that you like to do together

Morony M 18 Chihuahua Mexico

Have a Special Sunday

On some Sundays we

have a special lunch

or dinner with a new

dessert we talk and at

the end we sing hymns This brings

us together and helps us be betterfriends

Rebeca N 12 Satildeo Paulo Brazil

Try an Experiment

We arrange time to be together hav-

ing family home evening playing

games going to the beach having

lunch together All of this helps to

Q U E S T I O N S amp A N S W E R S

all day Howcan I improve our

relationshiprdquo

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4752

keep the flame of a good relationship

alive When we disagree we avoid

criticizing I know that sometimes I

ask not to do housework but this

contributes to disharmony in the

home Since I began this experiment

mdashcomplaining less lowering my

voice helping more with housework

and talking more with my mothermdash

a sweet spirit has developed in our

home and we cooperate more

Glenda C 18 Bahia Brazil

Help at Home

Do some extra chores

around the house Your

mom has been work-

ing all day If she has

less work to do when she gets home

shersquoll probably be happier and have

more time to talk and do things with

you While you are talking you canask about her day at work It will

show her that you care and it will

open doors for other topics of discus-

sion allowing you to grow closer

Heather B 18 Oregon USA

Find Something You BothLike to Do

My mumrsquos relationship with me

skyrocketed when I said ldquoI want tospend more time with you but I donrsquot

know what to do or when to do itrdquo

Playing board games happens to be

our favorite pastime So we set aside

a time together to play laugh and

make memories When you are open

with your parents eventually they

become your best companions You

UPCOMING QUESTION

ldquoMy parents just

got divorced Irsquom angry that they

have broken up our

family How doI forgive themrdquo

Send your answer and photo by

September 15 2014

Go to neweraldsorg click ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo enter your LDS Accountand then select ldquoNew Erardquo

Responses may be edited for length

or clarity

Responses are intended for help and per-

spective not as official pronouncements ofChurch doctrine

will be able to talk to them about

anything and you will be sure of an

honest answer That is the sign of a

mature relationship

Ephraim S 15 New South Wales Australia

Read Scriptures Together

Both of you could set a goal to read

together every day even just five

minutes from the Book of Mormon

or any other Church book It will

strengthen your relationship andnourish you with the word of God

so you can be ready to face each day

Remember also to pray to God and

ask for His help I know He hears you

and loves you

Laura M 19 Coacuterdoba Argentina

LEARN FROM

YOUR MOTHER

ldquoPlease look to yourfaithful mothers fora pattern to followModel yourselves

after them not after celebritieswhose standards are not the Lordrsquosstandards and whose values maynot reflect an eternal perspectiveLook to your mother Learn fromher strengths her courage andher faithfulness Listen to her She

may not be a whiz at texting shemay not even have a Facebookpage But when it comes to mat-ters of the heart and the thingsof the Lord she has a wealth ofknowledgerdquo

Elder M Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles ldquoMothers and Daughtersrdquo

Ensign May 2010 19

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46 N e w E r a

MISERABLE TOTHE END OFTHE STREET

For one family home evening my

dad wanted to take advantage

of a pause in the rainy weather

to go on a walk around the neighbor-

hood I grumbled and complained

that it was too wet and muddy to

go walking I used the excuse that

I had a ballet recital that week and

didnrsquot want to sprain an ankle but

my dad didnrsquot buy it He insisted thatit was going to be the activity for the

evening I murmured a bit more about

the unfairness and my recital but we

left on the walk anyway

As I glumly stomped outside for

the walk with my family I was deter-

mined not to smile or be happy I

succeeded in feeling miserable until

I N S T A N T M E S S A G E S

we reached the end of the street Then

we turned the corner and I saw in full

force naturersquos beauty and wonder

Before me was a gorgeous sunset

and opposite it was a rainbow arching

above our neighborhood rooftops

I immediately forgot all about being

miserable and looked around in awe

On the way home I said a prayer of

gratitude thanking God for the beautyof His creations I later thanked my

dad for choosing the activity and for

allowing us to enjoy nature for that

family home evening

Jennie H North Carolina USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 47

STANDARDS AND FRIENDS

Since Irsquove been in school Irsquove had friends who havenrsquot understood the

moral standards of our religion At first it was difficult but over time

my friends have become used to the idea of my being morally clean I

made a goal in my life to be clean and pure and itrsquos worked out well both

for me and for those who used to criticize me Over time respect peace and

joy have become a part of our loving circle of friends

Vitoacuteria M Brazil

A DIFFICULT DECISION

FORGIVINGMY FRIENDS

As the only member of the

Church in my peer group

Irsquove experienced some

instances when my friends have

offended me Sometimes they judge

and criticize my religion I feel so

alone yet Irsquom thankful I know the

standards of the Church

If my friends offend me I try to

humble myself and avoid contention

because I know contention is evil When they start discussing some mat-

ters about the Church I just testify of

my belief in the gospel

I always forgive my friends with or

without their apology Forgiving is not

just about saying ldquoApology acceptedrdquo

or ldquoItrsquos OKrdquo because forgiveness has

a deep meaning Jesus Christ atoned

for our sins so that Heavenly Father

can forgive usEven though my friends donrsquot

understand my faith now I know that

I can be Godrsquos instrument to teach

them the gospel I am helping them

and at the same time I am helping

myself to grow spiritually and prepare

to serve a mission

Joshua V Philippines

As volleyball tryouts approached for my senior year in high

school I couldnrsquot believe the thought that was running through

my head I wasnrsquot supposed to play volleyball Irsquod played vol-

leyball since seventh grademdashwhy should this year be any different

Not seeing the sense in quitting I ignored the feeling and continued

to participate in summer volleyball events After a while the feeling

came back so I decided that if I really wasnrsquot supposed to be on the

team my coach would just cut me during tryouts

Then one night at the gym I couldnrsquot focus on the game at all I felt

terrible and restless inside I came home frustrated with my team and

with myself I sat next to my mom and sister and cried I told them

how confused I was and my mom told me to pray and ask Heavenly

Father what He wanted me to do I went up to my room and began to

pray I told Heavenly Father how I felt then I asked Him to help mefeel peace if I was not supposed to continue playing volleyball I felt

His peace in my heart and knew that I needed to quit

Irsquom still not sure all the reasons why that was the right

decision but I know that itrsquos what the Lord

wanted me to do and thatrsquos a good

enough reason for me

The next morning I told my

coach and my teammates that

I wasnrsquot going to be playing

Even though it was incrediblyhard I knew I was doing

the right thing

Klaire B Arizona USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5152

you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5252

WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2052

One of the things we agree

to do as part of the bap-

tismal covenant is ldquoto

stand as witnesses of

God at all times and in all things and in

all places that [we] may be inrdquo (Mosiah

189) And incidentally we renew this

covenant every week when we partake

of the sacramentIn the April 2014 general conference

several speakers reminded us that there

will be times when standing as a witness

of God will mean having to face oppo-

sition criticism and ridicule So what

should you do when yoursquore required

to take the uncomfortable uncool or

unpopular step of defending your beliefs

By David A Edwards

Church Magazines

Be brave and humble firm and gentle

all at the same time With the Lordrsquos

help itrsquos not as hard as it sounds

18 N e w E r a

of Defe983150di983150983143Your Beliefs

Dorsquos 983137983150d

Donrsquots

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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you should rely on the Spiritto guide your defense of your

faith Bear testimony by the

Spirit Thatrsquos the Lordrsquos way

(See also DampC 1005ndash8)

The point here is not that

you should avoid any discus-

sion in which people have dif-

fering points of view Rather it

has to do with your intent as

well as the emotions involved

We should seek understand-

ing and try to persuade withmeekess not just score points

and prove wersquore right and

someone else is wrong A

discussion where people are

getting really worked up and

angry is one you should either

try to soften or simply avoid

Heavenly Father has given

you the gift of the Holy Ghost

and you should take advan-

tage of this gift This doesnrsquot

mean reason and logic canrsquot

be inspired or confirmed by

the Spirit it just means that

Elder W Craig Zwick of

the Seventy has explained

this scripture this way ldquoA lsquosoft

answerrsquo consists of a reasoned

responsemdashdisciplined words

from a humble heart It does

not mean we never speak

directly or that we compro-

mise doctrinal truth Words

that may be firm in infor-

mation can be soft in spiritrdquo

(ldquoWhat Are You Thinkingrdquo

Ensign May 2014 42)

ldquoA SOFT ANSWER TURNETH AWAY

wr983137thBUT

GRIEVOUS WORDS stir u983152 983137983150983143errdquo

(Proverbs 151)

ldquoBeholdI send you forthas sheep in the

midst of wolves be ye therefore wise as serpents

and h983137r983149less as dovesrdquo

(Matthew 1016)

The Savior doesnrsquot want

you to be ignorant or naiumlve

but He also doesnrsquot want you

to attack anyone Knowing

what goes on in the world

doesnrsquot mean we have to

use its tactics

ldquoCONTEND AGAINST

NO CHURCHrdquo (DampC 1820)

There is no need to

criticize other churches

Positive statements of your

beliefs rather than negative

statements about others will

be most effective As the

Prophet Joseph Smith said

ldquoWe donrsquot ask any people

to throw away any good

they have got we only ask

them to come and get morerdquo

(Teachings of Presidents

of the Church Joseph

Smith [2007] 155)

ldquoAND THOUSHALT DECLARE

983143l983137d tidi983150983143s ldquoAND THOU SHALTDO IT WITH 983137ll hu983149ilityTRUSTING IN ME 983154evili983150983143 983150ot

AGAINST REVILERSrdquo

(DampC 1929ndash30)

The tidings you declare

are glad Remember that

and make sure your face and

your voice show it too Also

the word revile here means

to hurl abusive or insulting

language at a person So if

ldquoFOR I AM

NOT ASHAMED

OF THE GOSPEL OF CHRISTrdquo

(Romans 116)

As President Thomas S

Monson has said ldquoWe will all

face fear experience ridiculeand meet opposition Let

usmdashall of usmdashhave the courage

to defy the consensus the

courage to stand for prin-

ciple Courage not com-

promise brings the smile of

Godrsquos approvalrdquo (ldquoBe Strong

and of a Good Couragerdquo

Ensign May 2014 69)

The scriptures give you some basic principles for standing up for your faith including the following

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 19

ldquoWe s983152e983137k

NOT IN THE WORDS which 983149983137983150rsquos

WISDOM TEACH ETH

but which THE HOLY GHOST

TEACHETHrdquo

(1 Corinthians 213)

ldquoHE THATHATH THE

SPIRIT OF CONTENTIONIS NOT OF ME

BUT ISOF THE DEVIL

WHO IS THE FATHER OFCONTENTION AND

HE STIRRETH UPTHE HEARTS

OF MEN

TO CONTEND WITH ANGER

ONE WITH ANOTHERrdquo(3 Nephi 1129)

HERErsquoS SOME ADVICE FROM THE SCRIPTURES

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2252

How Do You Defend Do you have experi-ence in defending yourbeliefs Or do you haveideas to add to theselists Go to ldsorggodefendNE8 and share

Finding Courage

Read more on this topic atldsorggocourageNE8

someonersquos doing that to you

donrsquot retaliate and do the

same thing back to them The

Apostle Peter taught that the

Savior Himself gave the exam-

ple you should follow in thisregard (see 1 Peter 223)

ldquoLOVE YOUR ENEMIESbless them

that curse you

DO GOOD TO T HEMTHAT HATE YOU

and pray for

them which

DESPITEFULLY USE YOUAND PERSECUTE YOUrdquo

(Matthew 544)ldquoSEE THAT YE ARE NOT lifted u983152 u983150to

983152ride ye983137 SEE THAT YE DO

NOT BOAST IN YOUR

OWN WISDOM

983150or of your 983149uch stre983150983143thldquoUSE BOLDNESS

BUT NOT

OVERBEARANCErdquo (Alma 3811ndash12)

Here the word tenets

refers to opinions or teachings

that go beyond the basics So

the Lord is saying to stick to

the basic message of the gos-

pel when yoursquore declaring Hisglad tidings This also applies

to defending your faith

You donrsquot need to stray into

detailed discussions about

every little thing related to the

Church As Elder Richard G

Scott of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles has said

ldquoKeep your sharing of the

gospel simple rdquo (ldquo lsquoI HaveGiven You an Examplerdquo

Ensign May 2014 34)

ldquoEveryone independent

of his or her decisions and

beliefs deserves our kind-

ness and considerationrdquo said

Elder Neil L Andersen of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles ldquoThe Savior

taught us to love not only

our friends but also those

who disagree with usmdashand

even those who repudiate

usrdquo (ldquoSpiritual Whirlwindsrdquo

Ensign May 2014 20)

Again be humble Itrsquos not

about you or how smart and

capable you are Also you can

be bold without making over-

blown statements or being

a verbal or intellectual bully

As Elder Jeffrey R Holland

of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoYou willone day find yourself called

upon to defend your faith

Such moments will require

both courage and courtesy

on your partrdquo (ldquoThe Costmdashand

Blessingsmdashof Discipleshiprdquo

Ensign May 2014 6)

ldquoA983150d of te983150ets thou sh983137lt 983150ot t983137lk but thou shalt

declare repentance andfaith on the Savior and 983154e983149issio983150 of si983150sby baptism and by fire

yea even the Holy Ghostrdquo(DampC 1931)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2352

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2452

22 N e w E r a

I received my first two-wheel bicycle

when I was eight years old With

the help of my older brother and

father I began the rather scary pro-

cess of figuring out how to ride it The other kids in the neighborhood

made it look so easy and natural as

they zoomed up and down the street

on their bikes I perched on the bike

seatmdashwhich seemed to be at least

10 feet (3 m) above the groundmdashand

realized there was absolutely noth-

ing to keep me from falling over and

proving that the law of gravity was

alive and well As I tried riding I learned quickly

that if I wanted to stay balanced I had

to keep pedaling When I first sat on

the seat speed was the last thing I

wanted to add to the already daunting

equation But I very soon understood

the wisdom and the physics involved

in moving forward As long as I kept

pedaling I could stay upright and

avoid the rough concrete just waiting

to take the skin off my arms and legs

Soon I was zipping around the neigh-

borhood with my friends

Defy Gr983137vity Defy Gr983137vity

of the First Presidency as outlined

in that booklet our lives will be bal-

anced and steady We will be led

where we want to go

We need to keep moving forwardto avoid falling To do that we should

consistently and faithfully do certain

actions

bull Pray morning and night

bull Study the scriptures daily

bull Attend Church meetings and par-

take of the sacrament worthily

bull Serve those around us

bull Be worthy to attend the temple

All of these actions keep us moving

forward in the right direction

Thatrsquos why reading and being famil-

iar with the standards described in For

the Strength of Youth will help ensure

we are making choices consistent with

Godrsquos standards Living these princi-

ples and keeping the commandments

F O R T H E S T R E N G T H O F Y O U T H

By Bonnie LOscarson

Young WomenGeneral President

As you keep moving forward you can stay upright even

when outside forces try to pull you down

Just as those who keep

pedaling a bike can stay

upright despite gravityrsquos

influence those who are

guided by the Holy Spirit in

all they do can withstand

the influence of theadversary

So it is with living the gospel and

the standards in For the Strength of

Youth It takes faith to believe that if

we consistently follow the counsel

GO FORWARD WITH FAITH

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 23

invite the Holy Ghost to be our con-

stant companion Just as those who

keep pedaling a bike can stay upright

despite gravityrsquos influence those who

are guided by the Holy Spirit in allthey do can withstand the influence of

the adversary

What are the destinations you have

in mind as you pedal forward For all

young men of the Aaronic Priesthood

preparing now for a full-time mission

is important in forward growth For

all youth being prepared to go to the

temple and receive the endowment by

making and keeping sacred covenantsshould also be a primary goal

As the message from the First

Presidency at the beginning of For the

Strength of Youth says ldquoIn all that you

do stay focused on the temple In the

temple you will receive the greatest

of all the Lordrsquos blessings including

marriage for time and all eternityrdquo1

Receiving the covenant of eternal

marriage in the house of the Lord and

becoming righteous husbands wives

fathers and mothers may seem far

down the road but the time to beginpreparing is now All of these things

lead to the most glorious and grand

destination of allmdasheternal life with

our Heavenly Father

One of my favorite scriptures

sums up what we need to do in order

to keep moving toward our goals

ldquoWherefore ye must press forward

with a steadfastness in Christ hav-

ing a perfect brightness of hopeand a love of God and of all men

Wherefore if ye shall press forward

feasting upon the word of Christ and

endure to the end behold thus saith

the Father Ye shall have eternal liferdquo

(2 Nephi 3120)

Just as I learned as an eight-year-

old girl that I needed to keep pedaling

and moving forward in order to defy

gravity and keep my balance on my

bicycle it is important for all of us to

keep moving forward with faith trust-

ing in the counsel of living prophetsand a loving Heavenly Father to keep

us from falling Some of our destina-

tions are just down the road while

others will take a lifetime of faithful

living to achieve The promises of

what lies at the end of the road if we

are faithful are certain and glorious

and well worth the ride NE

NOTE

1 For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

Learn MoreSee whatrsquos next in your covenant path

at ldsorggocovenantNE8

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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24 N e w E r a

BOA R D

GA M E S

B y Da vid Chris tensen

My chance to play le f t

a lasting impact but it

wasnrsquot what Irsquod e xpected

L o s i n

g s o

q u i c k

l y w

a s b

a d e

n o u

g h

b

u t t o

m a k

e m

a t t e r s

w o r s e

t h

e o t h

e r g

u y

s s t a r t e

d t o

m a k

e

f u n

o f

m e

I

t r i e d

t o c o

n t i n

u e

p l a y i n g

e v e

n t h

o u

g h

t h e y

w e r

e b

e i n

g m

e a n

b

u t i t

w a s h

a r d t o h o

l d b

a c k m y t e

a r s

o f f r u s t

r a t i o n

U

n f o

r t u n a t e l y

o n e t e

a r t r i c k l e

d d

o w

n m y

c h e e

k b

e f o

r e I

c o u

l d w i p

e i t

a w a y M

y b

r o t h

e r

s a w i t

a n d

t e a s e

d m

e t o

o

I c o

u l d

n rsquo t

t a k e i t

a n y

m o r e

a n d

r a n t o

m y

r o o m

I g a v e m y s e l

f a q u i c k p i n

c h

t o m a k e s u r

e I w a s n rsquo

t d r e a m i n g

a n d t h e

n I v o i c e d

a t i m i d ldquo Y e

a h

s u r e rdquo I s t

i l l c o u l d

n rsquo t b e l i e

v e t h a t

m y b r o t h e

r h a d i n v

i t e d m e t o

p l a y a g a m e w i t h

t h e ldquo b i g k i

d s rdquo

A f t e r a l l

I rsquo d b e e n t o l d f o r t h

r e e

y e a r s t h a

t I w a s s t i l l

t o o y o u

n g

t o p l a y m o r e d i f fi

c u l t b o a

r d

g a m e s w i t h m y b r o

t h e r a n d

h i s f r i e n d s

A N D B R O

T H

E R S

I

felt the hot tears of anger slowly slide

down my face I wiped them away with

my hand but I could still feel the

slightly salty taste on my lips assobs of anguish began to pour out

I just wanted to hang out with my

brother Why couldnrsquot he be my

friend too

J u s t a f e w

h o u r s

b e f o

r e I h a d

s t a r e d a t

m y o

l d e r b

r o t h

e r S t e v e

i n c o

m p

l e t e s u r p

r i s e

w a i t i n

g f o r h

i m t o

t e

l l

m e t h

a t h e w

a s o n

l y

j o k i n g ldquo W

e l l d o y o

u

w a n

t t o p

l a y rdquo S t e v e

a s k e d i m p

a

t i e n t l y

I w

e n t i n t o t h e

r o o m w h

e r e t h e

o l d e r b o y s

w e r e

s e t t i n g u p

t h e b o a r d

g a m e A s t h e

g a m e s t a r t e d

w i t h

e v e r y o n e s t r a t e g i c a l l y

p l a c i n g

t h e i r g a m

e

p i e c e s

I f e l t l i k e

I w

a s d r e a

m i n g F o r

t h e fi r s t t i m

e

I f e l t e q u a l t o

m y b r o t h e r mdash

n o t l i k e I

w a s j u s t h i s

t a g a l o n g

T h e d r e a m

e n d e d q u i c k

l y h o w e v e r

T h e

g a m e w

a s t o u g h

a n d m y i n

e x p e r i e n c e

a n d l a c k

o f k n o w l e d g e

b e c

a m e

p a i n f u l l y o b v i o u s

a s t h e o t

h e r

p l a y e r s q u i c k l y

a n d

s o u n d l y d e f e a t e d

m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2852

26 N e w E r a

Le983137r983150i983150983143 the i983150s 983137983150d outs of d983137ti983150983143 c983137983150 be h983137rd Let this course tur983150 you

i983150to 983137 d983137ti983150983143 983152ro

By Matthew ORichardson

Served as Second

Counselor in theSunday SchoolGeneral Presidencyfrom 2009 to 2014

hile speaking to youth about how to prepare for a celestial marriage

President Thomas S Monson emphasized that ldquoproper dating is a part

of preparation for marriagerdquo 1 Have you thought much about happy

relationships Elder Russell M Nelson of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said a ldquocelestial marriage brings greater possibilities for happiness than

does any other relationshiprdquo2

When I was serving as bishop in a young single adult ward I worried about those

who approached dating with very little purpose understanding or direction This

caused me to wonder if my own children would be any different when their time came

My wife and I decided to help our children prepare for ldquoproper datingrdquo and happy rela-tionships by creating the Richardson Dating Academy or RDA as our children call it

It wasnrsquot long after we started the RDA that friends of our children wanted to partici-

pate and even become RDA graduates So how about you Are you ready to become a

dating academy graduate yourself Class is in session

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 27

Lesso983150 1 ur983152oses 983137983150d St983137983150d983137rds of D983137ti983150983143

Lesso983150 2 W983137tch 983137983150d Le983137r983150

Homework

As you know ldquodatingrdquo means different things to differ-

ent people Your first assignment is to figure out just what

a ldquodaterdquo is according to Church standards Can you explain

the purposes of dating and the specific dating standards and

guidelines set by the Church Or do you know when itrsquosmost appropriate to be involved in dating and steady dating

(having a boyfriend or girlfriend)

You can find answers to these questions in the ldquoDatingrdquo

section of For the Strength of Youth The First Presidency

reminds us why knowing and understanding these stan-

dards are so important They promise ldquoThe standards in this

Elder Jeffrey R Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles once explained that most athletic contests have ldquolines

drawn on the floor or the field within which every participant

must stay in order to competerdquo3 Success depends on how

well a competitor knows and stays within the set boundaries

Likewise itrsquos important to know the ldquodating linesrdquo or the pur-

poses and standards of dating as taught by Church leaders

One of the most com-

mon ways people learn

is by watching others

Dating is no different

In the dating academy

we spend time observ-

ing others in dating

situations In our family

we learned many point-ersmdashsome to do others

to avoidmdashby watching

dates in progress at

restaurants and other

settings Yes we went to

certain places with the

sole purpose to observe

dates for ldquoclassrdquo

booklet will help you with the important choices you are

making now and will yet make in the futurerdquo4

Now that you have a solid foundation of the stan-

dards and purposes of dating (you did do your home-

work and read that section didnrsquot you) itrsquos time to move

on to lesson 2

Tips

Here are some suggestions that will help you learn

as you observe

bull Watch but donrsquot be creepy This is about learning from

others but not stalking staring or even judging Look for

things you like and things you would like to avoid

bull Go to a variety of places and settings to observe others

Not every date is the same nor should it be Watch how thesetting affects the experience

bull Watch how people interact with each other Can you tell

who is with whom Are they paying attention to each

other In what ways Are they talking with each other Do

they look like they enjoy being with each other How can

you tell if they are having fun

bull Talk with a parent leader or good friends and share what

you noticed and what you learned

Homework

The next time you go

out to eat attend a movie

or go to almost any activ-

ity make an effort to look

around and see how other

people are interacting It

may surprise you to see

how much dating is actu-ally going on Take the

time to learn from those

around you by paying

attention to whatrsquos work-

ing and what isnrsquot

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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28 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 3 l983137983150983150i983150983143 983137 D983137te

Tips

bull Start planning early

bull Donrsquot be afraid to bounce ideas off your friendsparents and others They can provide excellent

suggestions that you havenrsquot even thought about

bull Make sure you let your budget amount of time

available the reasons for dating and Church stan-

dards guide your planning

bull Think of what you hope will happen during the

date from beginning to end This helps you realize

what needs to be done to make the date a success

bull Pay attention to details Call ahead for event times

prices menus and what the proper dress is for

the occasion

bull Plan for emergencies For example what will you

do if you donrsquot have enough money or have car

trouble What if your date gets sick

Homework

Rather than leaving everything to chance dating acad-

emy grads understand what needs to happen and theyplan accordingly

Your homework assignment even if yoursquore years away

from dating is to practice planning an event You can

brainstorm with friends really fun ideas for a date Then

work together to think of what planning is required to

make those ideas actually happen Or you can ask your

parents to let you plan the next family outing

You might choose a place to eat or what to do Plan all

the details (event times travel time cost backup plans)

and then put your plan into action You could evencome up with a dating plan complete with backup ideas

if something goes wrong and share it in family home

evening while talking together around the dinner table

or with friends You may find that properly planning an

activity is almost as much fun as the actual date

The quality of experience yoursquoll have with others is

often determined by what happens before a date begins

Showing up on your datersquos doorstep with no plan is a

recipe for an awkward experience Nobody likes playing

the ldquoWhat do you want to dordquo game

Yoursquore better than that With a little practice you can

become a date-planning champion And young women

no fair skipping this section While most of the time young

men plan and ask for dates yoursquoll still want to have these

skills down for when itrsquos your turn

Group Date IdeasNeed ideas Check out ldsorggoideasNE8 Some

of the youth activities there could be adapted for dates

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Homework

In the Richardson Dating Academy all of our

children practiced dating invitations For example

our children might call an aunt older sibling or other

family member to practice inviting someone on a

date Or our son or daughter would receive an invita-

tion from a family member and practice responding

They learned how to deal with rejection acceptance

or even a disinterested response or two

Now itrsquos your turn Working with your parents ask

them to line up somebody in your family you can call

and practice inviting on a date Make sure you do this

more than once

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 29

You know your dating standards front and back

yoursquove watched others in dating situations and

yoursquove come up with a solid date plan

Congratulations Now you still need to invite

someone Or you need to know how to respond

when you are invited So whatrsquos the best way A

phone call Ask in person Here are some different

points to consider

Lesso983150 4 I983150viti983150983143 Others 983137983150d Bei983150983143 I983150vited

Tips

bull Be ready to give details when you invite

someone on a date Talk about what you have

planned start and end times whorsquos participat-ing and how they should dress (casual dressy

etc) Your excellent planning from academy

lesson 3 makes this part of the academy easy

bull Therersquos a time to talk by phone and a time to

ask face-to-face The more important the event

is the more personal the invitation should be

Donrsquot be afraid to skip technology and actually

talk with someone

bull Some events may require you to speak with

your datersquos parents first This shows respectand courtesy

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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30 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 5 O983150 the D983137te

It would be impossible for any dating academy to cover

every little thing to consider or plan for in dating So much

depends on good judgment communication with your par-

ents and listening to the Spirit

Still here are a few key points you might want to brush

up on before putting your date plan into action

Tips

bull Develop a ldquoyou firstrdquo attitude This means you always

think of your date first Is he or she having fun Is he or

she comfortable

bull Make sure you dress appropriately for the occasion

The way you dress usually communicates how you feelabout others and about the event Know the difference

between casual (but never sloppy) semiformal and

formal and when it would be appropriate to dress in

those ways

bull Show common courtesy by opening doors saying

thank you talking less about yourself and more about

your date and extending sincere compliments

bull Learn how to navigate restaurants Know how to make

a reservation get a table calculate a service tip and

pay the bill

Homework

Once again the best way to learn any good skill is by practic-

ing it Our youth enjoyed role-playing different situations

to think about how to act most appropriately We

also loved going out to eat as part of the dating acad-

emy experience Our children learned how to act in

a restaurant order a meal calculate the tip and paythe bill by actually doing it when they were with us

Look for opportunities to practice skills you should use on a

date For example the next time you and your family go some-

where ask your parents to let you purchase the tickets order

the meal or calculate the tip Treat your family or friends with

the same respect and courtesy that you should show others on a

date Open doors for your family be the first to say ldquothank yourdquo

and pay attention so you are part of the conversation

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 31

Lesso983150 6 The Doorste983152

NOTES

1 Thomas S Monson ldquoPreparation BringsBlessingsrdquo Ensign May 2010 64

2 Russell M Nelson ldquoCelestial Marriagerdquo Ensign Nov 2008 93

3 Jeffrey R Holland ldquoWe Are All Enlistedrdquo Ensign Nov 2011 45

4 ldquoMessage to the Youth from The First Presi-dencyrdquo For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

5 John Bytheway ldquoWhat Do Kisses Meanrdquo New Era Oct 2004 38ndash41

Last but not least dating

academy graduates know how

to conclude a date on the right

note Nothing sours a great date

more than a bad ending

Herersquos how you can finish a

date with success

Tips

bull Express gratitude Be sincere

and to the point If there was something you especially

liked tell your date what

it was

bull Therersquos no reason for drag-

ging things on at this point

Yoursquove already spent plenty

of time together Avoid the

ldquodoorstep shufflerdquo When

people arenrsquot sure what to

say they tend to shuffle backand forth or move their feet

in place If you find yourself

ldquoshufflingrdquo in place itrsquos a

pretty good signal that you

need to say good-bye

bull Know and follow the

Churchrsquos counsel on kissing

and physical intimacy (You

might also want to read John

Bythewayrsquos article ldquoWhat Do

Kisses Meanrdquo5 at ldsorggo

kissesNE8)

Homework

Yes herersquos another opportunity for practicing Our family has spent several family

home evenings role-playing doorstep good-byes Itrsquos been both helpful and fun to

watch an older sibling coach the younger sibling with dorsquos and donrsquots

Most memorable was an older sister showing how she could turn a hug into a

handshake with the grace of a princess and the speed of a ninja You too can get

together with family members and role-play different scenarios that might happen on

a doorstep We guarantee itrsquoll be an academy night yoursquoll all remember

Gr983137du983137tio983150

If yoursquove studied all the

material worked on the tips done

the homework and talked through

the lessons with your parents and

family you too can become a

dating academy graduate

As you continue strengthening

these important skills yoursquoll find

support strength and power that

will bless your relationships both

now and in the future You will be

better prepared for happiness NE

Do Try This at HomeInterested in having a dating academy at

home Let your parents know therersquos an RDAarticle for them in this monthrsquos Ensign or atldsorggoRDA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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32 N e w E r a

S U N DA Y L E S S

O N S

This Monthrsquos Topic

Ma r r iage a nd

Fa m i l y

MARRIAGE IS WORTH ITldquoIt is so rewarding to bemarried Marriage is wonder-ful In time you begin to thinkalike and have the same ideasand impressions You havetimes when you are extremelyhappy times of testing andtimes of trial but the Lordguides you through all ofthose growth experiencestogetherrdquo

Elder Richard G Scott of the

Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo

Ensign May 2011 96

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 33

We love being marr ied and he

rersquos why

By Ben and Rachel Nielsen

Letrsquos face it girls (and boys) itrsquos nice to know that someone loves you

And when yoursquore married you have chances to share and receive love every

day When I was talking to my parents about the possibility of marrying

Ben my dad said ldquoWhomever you choose to marry I want him to fre-

quently and sincerely express his love for you like Elder Richard G Scott did

for his wiferdquo3 I listened to Dad

I decided to marry Ben and he has always made an effort to express

his love to me in small and big ways During my senior year of college I

worked for months to prepare apply and interview for a prestigious intern-ship And when I finally heard that I got the job I came home and saw a

vase full of flowers from my husband He knew how hard I had worked and

how much the internship meant to me At other times hersquoll hide my favorite

drink and a love note in the fridge before he heads out for a weekend Scout

camp And every day hersquoll do the dishes and make me laugh Ben is great at

expressing his love for me and that brings both of us great joy

During my mission in Brazil I grew to love soccer One thing that I lovemost about this sport is having teammates and learning how to work together

with my team Rachel is a fantastic teammate She helps me achieve my

goals joins me in making important decisions and is there for me when I

have trouble

When we were sealed in the temple we promised to ldquohelp one another as

equal partnersrdquo2 Rachel and I strive to support each other in everything we

do and itrsquos great to know that I always have a reliable teammate

After our first date we both

knew we wanted to go

on a second date Ben

wanted to go on

another date because Rachel was

friendly and fun to talk to Rachel

wanted to go on another date

because Ben was a gentleman

and was still smiling after all of

his well-laid plans fell through

After the second date plus manymore dates and prayers after

that we fell in love and decided

to get married in the Sacramento

California Temple

The wedding day was abso-

lutely perfect and we have loved

being married ever since The

world may see marriage differ-

ently but we know that ldquono other

relationship of any kind canbring as much joy generate as

much good or produce as much

personal refinementrdquo1 Marriage

is awesome and herersquos why

FROM BEN A T e a m m a t e

FROM RACHEL

E x p r e s s i o n s o f L o v e

WHY MARRIAGE IS

A w e s o m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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34 N e w E r a

JOIN THE CONVERSATION

Things to Ponder for Sunday

bull What qualities and attitudes make for the strongest

and happiest marriages and families

bull What are you doing now that will help your future

marriage and family stay strong and happy

Things You Might Do

bull Share with some friends your goal of marrying and

having a family and tell them why

bull In church share why you are looking forward

to marriage and family and how you are pre-

paring for them

serving in the Church and inviting others to come unto

Christ As we work together to build the kingdom of God

we grow closer our love deepens and life is more fulfilling

Dating Rachel is so much fun In fact we make surethat we still frequently go on dates even as a married

couple After we first met we found that we enjoy many

of the same activities walking through parks attending

plays watching sporting events eating new and different

food listening to music and so much more I loved doing

these things before I met Rachel but theyrsquore even more

fun now that we get to share them together When yoursquore

married you have someone to enjoy life withmdashand that

makes life awesome

Before I met Ben I was nearing the age of missionary

service and had seriously considered serving a full-time

mission But then Ben entered my life and I knew that

Heavenly Father had a different plan for me

When Ben and I got engaged relatives who knew

about my thoughts to serve a mission asked me about my

choice and I would tell them ldquoI decided that I wanted topick my own missionary companionmdashand stay with him

for eternityrdquo

When yoursquore married you and your spouse have the

chance to participate in the work of salvation together

Ben and I have found great joy in building a Christ-

centered home studying and living the gospel together

Despite what the world may say marriage is awesome

and is worth making a priority When yoursquore married you

have a teammate you give and receive love you enjoy life

more fully and you have someone to build the kingdom

of God with All of that brings us great joy and because

we were sealed in the temple we can have this joy forever

If we keep our covenants we will be together for eternityand receive the crowning blessings of the priesthood We

ldquohave found in marriage the richest fulfillment of human

existencerdquo 4 NE

Ben and Rachel Nielsen live in Utah USA

NOTES

1 L Whitney Clayton ldquoMarriage Watch and Learnrdquo Ensign May 2013 83 2 ldquoThe Family A Proclamation to the Worldrdquo Ensign Nov 2010 129 3 See Richard G Scott ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo Ensign May

2011 96 4 James E Faust ldquoEnriching Your Marriagerdquo Ensign Apr 2007 6

FROM BEN M o r e E n jo y m e n t

FROM RACHEL A n E t e r n a l M is s i o n a r y C o m p a n io n

TAKE IT FROM US

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Your family can help unite the family of GodYou can all share the gospel in natural and pleasant ways

P H O T O I L L U S T R A T I O N B Y D A V I D S T O K E R

M O R M O N A D

(See M Russell Ballard ldquoPut Your Trust in the Lordrdquo Ensign Nov 2013 43)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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36 N e w E r a

By Alex Larsen

I always knew I wanted to be a mother but when I was grow-

ing up it wasnrsquot always on my mind When my fianceacute and I

were engaged one day I was talking with one of my college

professorsmdasha woman I greatly admiredmdashabout my engage-

ment She said something that brought my life choices into sharp

focus ldquoYou are wasting your talentrdquo she told me as she shook

her head She went on to say that someone as smart as I was

should not get married young She assumed I would have chil-

dren in my future and would be ldquothrowing awayrdquo my education

and chances of a stellar career on my future motherhood I could

tell by the way she looked at me that she thought I was making

a terrible and naiumlve mistake

Itrsquos been several years since that conversation and my hus-

band and I have two little girls Kate is three years old and is

my little sweetheart She moves through life at a leisurely pace

savoring all of the little details she notices Annabel is one yearold with bright blue eyes and a head of curls Shersquos exuberant

and determined Though I didnrsquot change my mind because of

what my professor said our discussion has stayed with me In

one way my professorrsquos predictions were correct I do not have

a prestigious working career But my professor got the most

important point wrong because I have wasted nothing

g i v i n

g u p e v e r y

t hi n g

but wh a t

I

g a i n ed

w as w o r t h so much m o r e

T h e wor l d t o l d me

I w ould

b e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 3952

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 37

their spirits growing and developing I remember

the first time Kate pointed to a picture of the Savior and

said ldquoJesusrdquo I knew then that what I was doing was eter-

nally significant in the lives of my children

The world often tells us that lifersquos rewards come in

the form of status money or grand accomplishments

but I know therersquos great satisfaction even in the small

acts of changing diapers or wiping sticky fingers Every

little thing I do as a mother is part of helping to build the

kingdom of God by nurturing His children I always knew

I wanted children but it was not until I held my first baby

in my arms that I began to realize how much my heart

was capable of loving

The love I have for my daughters has helped me bet-

ter understand how much my Heavenly Father loves all

of His children When speaking of little children Jesustaught that ldquoof such is the kingdom of heavenrdquo (Matthew

1914) More than anything motherhood has helped me

to grow as a daughter of God because now I know what

a daughter of God looks like from the eyes of a parent

The world makes us think that a woman loses herself in

motherhoodmdashshe loses her body her free time and her

career But I have found myself in motherhood I feel

more beautiful and more valuable than ever before NE

Alex Larsen lives in California USA

I love the opportunity to stay home and care for my

young children because these are the most formative

years of their lives I have the opportunity to create a rich

home environment for my girls by reading and discussing

things with them as part of our everyday life Kate will

often astound me by remembering and commenting on

something wersquod read in a book several weeks before and

Annabel learns a new skill almost every day But as fun

and important as it is to watch them learn new

information and skills I feel the

most satisfied when I see

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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38 N e w E r a

One o f t h e g r e a t e s t ad v enture s o f y o u r l i f e w i l l b e y our rol e a n d c a l l i n g a s a f a t her

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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ROcksROcksROcks

NOTE

1 See Thomas S Monson ldquoWelcome to Conferencerdquo Ensign Nov 2012 4ndash5

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 39

DA D D A DD AD

By Chris Deaver

W

hen I was younger I loved spending time

with my dad He always knew the bestgames to play the best stories to tell at night

and the most interesting sports to try It was

like he was born to be a great dad

Fast-forward my life to when I married my sweetheart

Julia and then even further to the moment that our first

child Daniel was born I was filled with a rush of emo-

tions I was happy shocked amazed and a little scared

I felt totally inadequate to be a father and to have the

responsibility of teaching and being an example to my son

But I quickly realized that Irsquod been preparing all my life tobe a dad When I held my son in my arms for the first time

and looked down into his face I felt the Spirit touch my

heart and I realized that I was ready to try to be a great

dad just like my own dad was to me

When Daniel was very young he already had a great

sense of humor He learned to tell hilarious jokes that

would make my wife and me laugh He also often said

things that inspired us Shortly after hearing President

Thomas S Monson announce the change in age require-

ments for young men and young women preparingto serve missions1 we were driving in the car Daniel

announced that he would start preparing himself right

then at age six so he would have 12 years of preparation

Then he said with a smile ldquoDad can I change the song

from lsquoI Hope They Call Me on a Missionrsquo to lsquoI AM Going on

a Missionrsquordquo It was awesome

WHYbeing a

Three years after Daniel was born he was followed by his

brother Austin For me as a dad itrsquos been great to watch bothboys become best friends And Austin has been just as fun

as Daniel in his own way He enjoys building and destroying

block towers and one of his favorite activities is to fearlessly

wrestle me as if I stand no chance against his four-year-old

powers Of course I give in and let him winmdashso I guess I

reinforce his belief But itrsquos so much fun I know hersquoll be a

great wrestler but what I want most is for him to wrestle

ldquoagainst the rulers of the darkness of this worldrdquo and ldquoagainst

spiritual wickednessrdquo like it says in the scriptures (Ephesians

612) And I hope Irsquom helping to prepare him to do that We just recently had our third child a baby girl named

Faith During the delivery my wife was having some com-

plications and we were scared for our baby I gave Julia

a blessing Then she asked me to sing to her The Spirit

brought peace to both of us Soon baby Faith came safely

into the world It was a miracle and she definitely lived up

to her name Faithrsquos beautiful smile brightens my life I canrsquot

express in words how much she means to me

For any young man still wondering let me tell you You

were born to be a great dad The world may not agree butfatherhood is the best Someday yoursquoll find that your kids

inspire you too and that being a dad is the greatest adven-

ture of your life Yes itrsquos a duty and something you need to

take seriously but being a dad is unlike anything else NE

Chris Deaver lives in Florida USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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40 N e w E r a

We always seem to be encouraged to read more

because well everyone knows that reading is a

good thing But not all books are worth reading and just

because sexual material is written about rather than pho-

tographed or video recorded doesnrsquot mean that itrsquos less

morally hazardous Making a common display of a sacred

intimacy thatrsquos intended to only be part of a marriage rela-

tionship is wrongmdashwhether in words or imagesIf something yoursquore reading contains explicit sexual

descriptions that imprint themselves on your mind and

arouse sexual feelings in the same way that looking at

pornographic images would then guess what Itrsquos pornog-

raphy Remember the counsel in For the Strength of Youth

ldquoChoose wisely when using media because whatever you

read listen to or look at has an effect on you Select only

media that uplifts yourdquo ([2011] 11) NE

T O T H E P O I N T

President Boyd K

Packer President of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoEach

of us must come to ourown personal testimony

of the Lord Jesus Christ

We then share that testi-

mony with our family and

othersrdquo1 It can sometimes

be easy to question the

depth of your testimony

I know looking at pornographic

pictures is wrong but whatabout reading books with

ldquoromanticrdquo scenes

If I donrsquot have a burning

desire to share thegospel does that mean I

donrsquot have a testimony

when you compare your-

self to people like Brigham

Young who once said ldquoI

wanted to thunder and

roar out the gospel to thenations It burned in my

bones like fire pent uprdquo2

So what if you donrsquot feel

fire in your bones

Hopefully your lack of

desire doesnrsquot come from

a lack of concern for your

fellowmen As your faith in

Jesus Christ grows so does

your love of all people a

love that is a mark of the

true followers of Christ (see

Moroni 748 John 1335)

Itrsquos likely however

that your hesitancy sim-

ply comes from fear and

anxiety about speaking toothers For many people

such feelings can be over-

whelming Even prophets

have had doubts about their

ability to speak to people

(see Exodus 410 Moses

631) They of course

had no reason to question

their testimoniesmdashand

neither should you if you

are studying the scriptures

pondering praying fasting

repenting and doing all the

other things that help bring

the Spirit into your life

If you feel you just

need a little extra cour-age to share the gos-

pel visit ldsorggo

shareNE8 for ideas NE

NOTES

1 Boyd K Packer ldquoThe Witnessrdquo Ensign May 2014 96

2 Teachings of Presidents ofthe Church Brigham Young (1997) viii

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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C O M E F O L L O W M E

Family

983152983137tter983150 of

President Boyd K PackerPresident of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

April 2014 general conference

The ultimate end

of all activity in

the Church is that

a man and his wife

and their childrencan be happy

at home

The FamilyYoursquoll be studying about the family in your Sunday classes

this month As you study and discuss family you may pon-der these questions Why do Church leaders emphasize

family so much What is the place of family in Heavenly

Fatherrsquos plan How does family help make us happy

To find some answers to these questions see the

family proclamation near the back of your Personal

Progress or Duty to God booklet or online at ldsorg

gofamilyNE8 Yoursquoll also find teachings about

family relationships in general conference talks at

conferenceldsorg

Give yourself an easy reminder to prepare for your

Sunday lessons on the family Just place these cards

in your scriptures locker or bedroom You can also

download or share them online at ldsorggocardsNE8 B A C K G R O U N D T E X T U R E

B Y I S T O C K P H O T O T H I N K S T O C K

We 983150eed We 983150eed

MOR E

983155tre983150983143the983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

RELATIONSHIPS

983153u983137lity 983153u983137lity TIME amp EFFORT INTO

TO PUT

983155re983150983143te983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4452

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4552

T H E E X T R A S M I L E

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 43

I dont like to pack so I rsquo m just wearing all my stuff

JON CLARK

W h a t m a k e s y o

u t h i n k

D a d rsquo s t a l k i n g t o

t h e

p r o p h e t

B ecaus e h e s ai d h e w as on a conf er ence cal l

RYAN STOKER

F r o m n o w o n j u s t t a k e

a p i c t u r e o f t h e t o o t h a n

d

u p l o a d i t t o m y F a c e b o o k

p a g e

a n d t h e n I rsquo l l s e n d y o u t h e

m o n e y t h r o u g h P a y P a l

RANDY GLASBERGEN

[Gasp] He he made h is bed this morning

And I didnrsquo t even ask

VAL CHADWICK BAGLEY

Who says there arenrsquo t modern m iracles

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4652

44 N e w E r a

ldquoMymom works

Since you donrsquot see your mom often make sure that

the time you do have together is used well You

could talk to your mom about how to do this She

wants a good relationship with you too and will

help you work on it Try asking her what she would

appreciate coming home to a clean house doing an activity

together just talking with you As you regularly do activities your mom appreciates your relationship will improve

Of course you could plan some fun activities to do together

but any meaningful time togethermdashsuch as washing the dishes

or reading the scripturesmdashcan be a great way to build your

relationship

Also plan time for communication Understanding one

another is a key ingredient in good relationships One thing

to discuss is how your momrsquos work schedule will affect your

relationship with her You can avoid misunderstandings if you

talk about your expectations as well as your momrsquosPrayer will help Families are important to Heavenly Father

so He can inspire you to know how to improve your relation-

ship with your mom Donrsquot ignore a prompting to do something

that seems small (see Alma 376) A hug and a smile for exam-

ple can make a big difference NE

Write a Note

Even if you have very

little time together you

can still express your

love to your mother

Write her thoughtful secret notes As

she reads them at work she will think

of you Do as much as you can for

her Think about her more often and

pray for her Ask the Lord to inspire

you and prompt you regarding how

you can improve your relationship Irinka E 20 Odessa Ukraine

Seek to Understand Her

Try to understand her situation

because she works for your benefit

You can begin by helping with things

at home like cleaning the house

helping your siblings and cooking

You also can share scriptures with

your mom pray together and doactivities that you like to do together

Morony M 18 Chihuahua Mexico

Have a Special Sunday

On some Sundays we

have a special lunch

or dinner with a new

dessert we talk and at

the end we sing hymns This brings

us together and helps us be betterfriends

Rebeca N 12 Satildeo Paulo Brazil

Try an Experiment

We arrange time to be together hav-

ing family home evening playing

games going to the beach having

lunch together All of this helps to

Q U E S T I O N S amp A N S W E R S

all day Howcan I improve our

relationshiprdquo

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4752

keep the flame of a good relationship

alive When we disagree we avoid

criticizing I know that sometimes I

ask not to do housework but this

contributes to disharmony in the

home Since I began this experiment

mdashcomplaining less lowering my

voice helping more with housework

and talking more with my mothermdash

a sweet spirit has developed in our

home and we cooperate more

Glenda C 18 Bahia Brazil

Help at Home

Do some extra chores

around the house Your

mom has been work-

ing all day If she has

less work to do when she gets home

shersquoll probably be happier and have

more time to talk and do things with

you While you are talking you canask about her day at work It will

show her that you care and it will

open doors for other topics of discus-

sion allowing you to grow closer

Heather B 18 Oregon USA

Find Something You BothLike to Do

My mumrsquos relationship with me

skyrocketed when I said ldquoI want tospend more time with you but I donrsquot

know what to do or when to do itrdquo

Playing board games happens to be

our favorite pastime So we set aside

a time together to play laugh and

make memories When you are open

with your parents eventually they

become your best companions You

UPCOMING QUESTION

ldquoMy parents just

got divorced Irsquom angry that they

have broken up our

family How doI forgive themrdquo

Send your answer and photo by

September 15 2014

Go to neweraldsorg click ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo enter your LDS Accountand then select ldquoNew Erardquo

Responses may be edited for length

or clarity

Responses are intended for help and per-

spective not as official pronouncements ofChurch doctrine

will be able to talk to them about

anything and you will be sure of an

honest answer That is the sign of a

mature relationship

Ephraim S 15 New South Wales Australia

Read Scriptures Together

Both of you could set a goal to read

together every day even just five

minutes from the Book of Mormon

or any other Church book It will

strengthen your relationship andnourish you with the word of God

so you can be ready to face each day

Remember also to pray to God and

ask for His help I know He hears you

and loves you

Laura M 19 Coacuterdoba Argentina

LEARN FROM

YOUR MOTHER

ldquoPlease look to yourfaithful mothers fora pattern to followModel yourselves

after them not after celebritieswhose standards are not the Lordrsquosstandards and whose values maynot reflect an eternal perspectiveLook to your mother Learn fromher strengths her courage andher faithfulness Listen to her She

may not be a whiz at texting shemay not even have a Facebookpage But when it comes to mat-ters of the heart and the thingsof the Lord she has a wealth ofknowledgerdquo

Elder M Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles ldquoMothers and Daughtersrdquo

Ensign May 2010 19

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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46 N e w E r a

MISERABLE TOTHE END OFTHE STREET

For one family home evening my

dad wanted to take advantage

of a pause in the rainy weather

to go on a walk around the neighbor-

hood I grumbled and complained

that it was too wet and muddy to

go walking I used the excuse that

I had a ballet recital that week and

didnrsquot want to sprain an ankle but

my dad didnrsquot buy it He insisted thatit was going to be the activity for the

evening I murmured a bit more about

the unfairness and my recital but we

left on the walk anyway

As I glumly stomped outside for

the walk with my family I was deter-

mined not to smile or be happy I

succeeded in feeling miserable until

I N S T A N T M E S S A G E S

we reached the end of the street Then

we turned the corner and I saw in full

force naturersquos beauty and wonder

Before me was a gorgeous sunset

and opposite it was a rainbow arching

above our neighborhood rooftops

I immediately forgot all about being

miserable and looked around in awe

On the way home I said a prayer of

gratitude thanking God for the beautyof His creations I later thanked my

dad for choosing the activity and for

allowing us to enjoy nature for that

family home evening

Jennie H North Carolina USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4952

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 47

STANDARDS AND FRIENDS

Since Irsquove been in school Irsquove had friends who havenrsquot understood the

moral standards of our religion At first it was difficult but over time

my friends have become used to the idea of my being morally clean I

made a goal in my life to be clean and pure and itrsquos worked out well both

for me and for those who used to criticize me Over time respect peace and

joy have become a part of our loving circle of friends

Vitoacuteria M Brazil

A DIFFICULT DECISION

FORGIVINGMY FRIENDS

As the only member of the

Church in my peer group

Irsquove experienced some

instances when my friends have

offended me Sometimes they judge

and criticize my religion I feel so

alone yet Irsquom thankful I know the

standards of the Church

If my friends offend me I try to

humble myself and avoid contention

because I know contention is evil When they start discussing some mat-

ters about the Church I just testify of

my belief in the gospel

I always forgive my friends with or

without their apology Forgiving is not

just about saying ldquoApology acceptedrdquo

or ldquoItrsquos OKrdquo because forgiveness has

a deep meaning Jesus Christ atoned

for our sins so that Heavenly Father

can forgive usEven though my friends donrsquot

understand my faith now I know that

I can be Godrsquos instrument to teach

them the gospel I am helping them

and at the same time I am helping

myself to grow spiritually and prepare

to serve a mission

Joshua V Philippines

As volleyball tryouts approached for my senior year in high

school I couldnrsquot believe the thought that was running through

my head I wasnrsquot supposed to play volleyball Irsquod played vol-

leyball since seventh grademdashwhy should this year be any different

Not seeing the sense in quitting I ignored the feeling and continued

to participate in summer volleyball events After a while the feeling

came back so I decided that if I really wasnrsquot supposed to be on the

team my coach would just cut me during tryouts

Then one night at the gym I couldnrsquot focus on the game at all I felt

terrible and restless inside I came home frustrated with my team and

with myself I sat next to my mom and sister and cried I told them

how confused I was and my mom told me to pray and ask Heavenly

Father what He wanted me to do I went up to my room and began to

pray I told Heavenly Father how I felt then I asked Him to help mefeel peace if I was not supposed to continue playing volleyball I felt

His peace in my heart and knew that I needed to quit

Irsquom still not sure all the reasons why that was the right

decision but I know that itrsquos what the Lord

wanted me to do and thatrsquos a good

enough reason for me

The next morning I told my

coach and my teammates that

I wasnrsquot going to be playing

Even though it was incrediblyhard I knew I was doing

the right thing

Klaire B Arizona USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5152

you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5252

WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2152

you should rely on the Spiritto guide your defense of your

faith Bear testimony by the

Spirit Thatrsquos the Lordrsquos way

(See also DampC 1005ndash8)

The point here is not that

you should avoid any discus-

sion in which people have dif-

fering points of view Rather it

has to do with your intent as

well as the emotions involved

We should seek understand-

ing and try to persuade withmeekess not just score points

and prove wersquore right and

someone else is wrong A

discussion where people are

getting really worked up and

angry is one you should either

try to soften or simply avoid

Heavenly Father has given

you the gift of the Holy Ghost

and you should take advan-

tage of this gift This doesnrsquot

mean reason and logic canrsquot

be inspired or confirmed by

the Spirit it just means that

Elder W Craig Zwick of

the Seventy has explained

this scripture this way ldquoA lsquosoft

answerrsquo consists of a reasoned

responsemdashdisciplined words

from a humble heart It does

not mean we never speak

directly or that we compro-

mise doctrinal truth Words

that may be firm in infor-

mation can be soft in spiritrdquo

(ldquoWhat Are You Thinkingrdquo

Ensign May 2014 42)

ldquoA SOFT ANSWER TURNETH AWAY

wr983137thBUT

GRIEVOUS WORDS stir u983152 983137983150983143errdquo

(Proverbs 151)

ldquoBeholdI send you forthas sheep in the

midst of wolves be ye therefore wise as serpents

and h983137r983149less as dovesrdquo

(Matthew 1016)

The Savior doesnrsquot want

you to be ignorant or naiumlve

but He also doesnrsquot want you

to attack anyone Knowing

what goes on in the world

doesnrsquot mean we have to

use its tactics

ldquoCONTEND AGAINST

NO CHURCHrdquo (DampC 1820)

There is no need to

criticize other churches

Positive statements of your

beliefs rather than negative

statements about others will

be most effective As the

Prophet Joseph Smith said

ldquoWe donrsquot ask any people

to throw away any good

they have got we only ask

them to come and get morerdquo

(Teachings of Presidents

of the Church Joseph

Smith [2007] 155)

ldquoAND THOUSHALT DECLARE

983143l983137d tidi983150983143s ldquoAND THOU SHALTDO IT WITH 983137ll hu983149ilityTRUSTING IN ME 983154evili983150983143 983150ot

AGAINST REVILERSrdquo

(DampC 1929ndash30)

The tidings you declare

are glad Remember that

and make sure your face and

your voice show it too Also

the word revile here means

to hurl abusive or insulting

language at a person So if

ldquoFOR I AM

NOT ASHAMED

OF THE GOSPEL OF CHRISTrdquo

(Romans 116)

As President Thomas S

Monson has said ldquoWe will all

face fear experience ridiculeand meet opposition Let

usmdashall of usmdashhave the courage

to defy the consensus the

courage to stand for prin-

ciple Courage not com-

promise brings the smile of

Godrsquos approvalrdquo (ldquoBe Strong

and of a Good Couragerdquo

Ensign May 2014 69)

The scriptures give you some basic principles for standing up for your faith including the following

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 19

ldquoWe s983152e983137k

NOT IN THE WORDS which 983149983137983150rsquos

WISDOM TEACH ETH

but which THE HOLY GHOST

TEACHETHrdquo

(1 Corinthians 213)

ldquoHE THATHATH THE

SPIRIT OF CONTENTIONIS NOT OF ME

BUT ISOF THE DEVIL

WHO IS THE FATHER OFCONTENTION AND

HE STIRRETH UPTHE HEARTS

OF MEN

TO CONTEND WITH ANGER

ONE WITH ANOTHERrdquo(3 Nephi 1129)

HERErsquoS SOME ADVICE FROM THE SCRIPTURES

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2252

How Do You Defend Do you have experi-ence in defending yourbeliefs Or do you haveideas to add to theselists Go to ldsorggodefendNE8 and share

Finding Courage

Read more on this topic atldsorggocourageNE8

someonersquos doing that to you

donrsquot retaliate and do the

same thing back to them The

Apostle Peter taught that the

Savior Himself gave the exam-

ple you should follow in thisregard (see 1 Peter 223)

ldquoLOVE YOUR ENEMIESbless them

that curse you

DO GOOD TO T HEMTHAT HATE YOU

and pray for

them which

DESPITEFULLY USE YOUAND PERSECUTE YOUrdquo

(Matthew 544)ldquoSEE THAT YE ARE NOT lifted u983152 u983150to

983152ride ye983137 SEE THAT YE DO

NOT BOAST IN YOUR

OWN WISDOM

983150or of your 983149uch stre983150983143thldquoUSE BOLDNESS

BUT NOT

OVERBEARANCErdquo (Alma 3811ndash12)

Here the word tenets

refers to opinions or teachings

that go beyond the basics So

the Lord is saying to stick to

the basic message of the gos-

pel when yoursquore declaring Hisglad tidings This also applies

to defending your faith

You donrsquot need to stray into

detailed discussions about

every little thing related to the

Church As Elder Richard G

Scott of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles has said

ldquoKeep your sharing of the

gospel simple rdquo (ldquo lsquoI HaveGiven You an Examplerdquo

Ensign May 2014 34)

ldquoEveryone independent

of his or her decisions and

beliefs deserves our kind-

ness and considerationrdquo said

Elder Neil L Andersen of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles ldquoThe Savior

taught us to love not only

our friends but also those

who disagree with usmdashand

even those who repudiate

usrdquo (ldquoSpiritual Whirlwindsrdquo

Ensign May 2014 20)

Again be humble Itrsquos not

about you or how smart and

capable you are Also you can

be bold without making over-

blown statements or being

a verbal or intellectual bully

As Elder Jeffrey R Holland

of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoYou willone day find yourself called

upon to defend your faith

Such moments will require

both courage and courtesy

on your partrdquo (ldquoThe Costmdashand

Blessingsmdashof Discipleshiprdquo

Ensign May 2014 6)

ldquoA983150d of te983150ets thou sh983137lt 983150ot t983137lk but thou shalt

declare repentance andfaith on the Savior and 983154e983149issio983150 of si983150sby baptism and by fire

yea even the Holy Ghostrdquo(DampC 1931)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2452

22 N e w E r a

I received my first two-wheel bicycle

when I was eight years old With

the help of my older brother and

father I began the rather scary pro-

cess of figuring out how to ride it The other kids in the neighborhood

made it look so easy and natural as

they zoomed up and down the street

on their bikes I perched on the bike

seatmdashwhich seemed to be at least

10 feet (3 m) above the groundmdashand

realized there was absolutely noth-

ing to keep me from falling over and

proving that the law of gravity was

alive and well As I tried riding I learned quickly

that if I wanted to stay balanced I had

to keep pedaling When I first sat on

the seat speed was the last thing I

wanted to add to the already daunting

equation But I very soon understood

the wisdom and the physics involved

in moving forward As long as I kept

pedaling I could stay upright and

avoid the rough concrete just waiting

to take the skin off my arms and legs

Soon I was zipping around the neigh-

borhood with my friends

Defy Gr983137vity Defy Gr983137vity

of the First Presidency as outlined

in that booklet our lives will be bal-

anced and steady We will be led

where we want to go

We need to keep moving forwardto avoid falling To do that we should

consistently and faithfully do certain

actions

bull Pray morning and night

bull Study the scriptures daily

bull Attend Church meetings and par-

take of the sacrament worthily

bull Serve those around us

bull Be worthy to attend the temple

All of these actions keep us moving

forward in the right direction

Thatrsquos why reading and being famil-

iar with the standards described in For

the Strength of Youth will help ensure

we are making choices consistent with

Godrsquos standards Living these princi-

ples and keeping the commandments

F O R T H E S T R E N G T H O F Y O U T H

By Bonnie LOscarson

Young WomenGeneral President

As you keep moving forward you can stay upright even

when outside forces try to pull you down

Just as those who keep

pedaling a bike can stay

upright despite gravityrsquos

influence those who are

guided by the Holy Spirit in

all they do can withstand

the influence of theadversary

So it is with living the gospel and

the standards in For the Strength of

Youth It takes faith to believe that if

we consistently follow the counsel

GO FORWARD WITH FAITH

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 23

invite the Holy Ghost to be our con-

stant companion Just as those who

keep pedaling a bike can stay upright

despite gravityrsquos influence those who

are guided by the Holy Spirit in allthey do can withstand the influence of

the adversary

What are the destinations you have

in mind as you pedal forward For all

young men of the Aaronic Priesthood

preparing now for a full-time mission

is important in forward growth For

all youth being prepared to go to the

temple and receive the endowment by

making and keeping sacred covenantsshould also be a primary goal

As the message from the First

Presidency at the beginning of For the

Strength of Youth says ldquoIn all that you

do stay focused on the temple In the

temple you will receive the greatest

of all the Lordrsquos blessings including

marriage for time and all eternityrdquo1

Receiving the covenant of eternal

marriage in the house of the Lord and

becoming righteous husbands wives

fathers and mothers may seem far

down the road but the time to beginpreparing is now All of these things

lead to the most glorious and grand

destination of allmdasheternal life with

our Heavenly Father

One of my favorite scriptures

sums up what we need to do in order

to keep moving toward our goals

ldquoWherefore ye must press forward

with a steadfastness in Christ hav-

ing a perfect brightness of hopeand a love of God and of all men

Wherefore if ye shall press forward

feasting upon the word of Christ and

endure to the end behold thus saith

the Father Ye shall have eternal liferdquo

(2 Nephi 3120)

Just as I learned as an eight-year-

old girl that I needed to keep pedaling

and moving forward in order to defy

gravity and keep my balance on my

bicycle it is important for all of us to

keep moving forward with faith trust-

ing in the counsel of living prophetsand a loving Heavenly Father to keep

us from falling Some of our destina-

tions are just down the road while

others will take a lifetime of faithful

living to achieve The promises of

what lies at the end of the road if we

are faithful are certain and glorious

and well worth the ride NE

NOTE

1 For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

Learn MoreSee whatrsquos next in your covenant path

at ldsorggocovenantNE8

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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24 N e w E r a

BOA R D

GA M E S

B y Da vid Chris tensen

My chance to play le f t

a lasting impact but it

wasnrsquot what Irsquod e xpected

L o s i n

g s o

q u i c k

l y w

a s b

a d e

n o u

g h

b

u t t o

m a k

e m

a t t e r s

w o r s e

t h

e o t h

e r g

u y

s s t a r t e

d t o

m a k

e

f u n

o f

m e

I

t r i e d

t o c o

n t i n

u e

p l a y i n g

e v e

n t h

o u

g h

t h e y

w e r

e b

e i n

g m

e a n

b

u t i t

w a s h

a r d t o h o

l d b

a c k m y t e

a r s

o f f r u s t

r a t i o n

U

n f o

r t u n a t e l y

o n e t e

a r t r i c k l e

d d

o w

n m y

c h e e

k b

e f o

r e I

c o u

l d w i p

e i t

a w a y M

y b

r o t h

e r

s a w i t

a n d

t e a s e

d m

e t o

o

I c o

u l d

n rsquo t

t a k e i t

a n y

m o r e

a n d

r a n t o

m y

r o o m

I g a v e m y s e l

f a q u i c k p i n

c h

t o m a k e s u r

e I w a s n rsquo

t d r e a m i n g

a n d t h e

n I v o i c e d

a t i m i d ldquo Y e

a h

s u r e rdquo I s t

i l l c o u l d

n rsquo t b e l i e

v e t h a t

m y b r o t h e

r h a d i n v

i t e d m e t o

p l a y a g a m e w i t h

t h e ldquo b i g k i

d s rdquo

A f t e r a l l

I rsquo d b e e n t o l d f o r t h

r e e

y e a r s t h a

t I w a s s t i l l

t o o y o u

n g

t o p l a y m o r e d i f fi

c u l t b o a

r d

g a m e s w i t h m y b r o

t h e r a n d

h i s f r i e n d s

A N D B R O

T H

E R S

I

felt the hot tears of anger slowly slide

down my face I wiped them away with

my hand but I could still feel the

slightly salty taste on my lips assobs of anguish began to pour out

I just wanted to hang out with my

brother Why couldnrsquot he be my

friend too

J u s t a f e w

h o u r s

b e f o

r e I h a d

s t a r e d a t

m y o

l d e r b

r o t h

e r S t e v e

i n c o

m p

l e t e s u r p

r i s e

w a i t i n

g f o r h

i m t o

t e

l l

m e t h

a t h e w

a s o n

l y

j o k i n g ldquo W

e l l d o y o

u

w a n

t t o p

l a y rdquo S t e v e

a s k e d i m p

a

t i e n t l y

I w

e n t i n t o t h e

r o o m w h

e r e t h e

o l d e r b o y s

w e r e

s e t t i n g u p

t h e b o a r d

g a m e A s t h e

g a m e s t a r t e d

w i t h

e v e r y o n e s t r a t e g i c a l l y

p l a c i n g

t h e i r g a m

e

p i e c e s

I f e l t l i k e

I w

a s d r e a

m i n g F o r

t h e fi r s t t i m

e

I f e l t e q u a l t o

m y b r o t h e r mdash

n o t l i k e I

w a s j u s t h i s

t a g a l o n g

T h e d r e a m

e n d e d q u i c k

l y h o w e v e r

T h e

g a m e w

a s t o u g h

a n d m y i n

e x p e r i e n c e

a n d l a c k

o f k n o w l e d g e

b e c

a m e

p a i n f u l l y o b v i o u s

a s t h e o t

h e r

p l a y e r s q u i c k l y

a n d

s o u n d l y d e f e a t e d

m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2852

26 N e w E r a

Le983137r983150i983150983143 the i983150s 983137983150d outs of d983137ti983150983143 c983137983150 be h983137rd Let this course tur983150 you

i983150to 983137 d983137ti983150983143 983152ro

By Matthew ORichardson

Served as Second

Counselor in theSunday SchoolGeneral Presidencyfrom 2009 to 2014

hile speaking to youth about how to prepare for a celestial marriage

President Thomas S Monson emphasized that ldquoproper dating is a part

of preparation for marriagerdquo 1 Have you thought much about happy

relationships Elder Russell M Nelson of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said a ldquocelestial marriage brings greater possibilities for happiness than

does any other relationshiprdquo2

When I was serving as bishop in a young single adult ward I worried about those

who approached dating with very little purpose understanding or direction This

caused me to wonder if my own children would be any different when their time came

My wife and I decided to help our children prepare for ldquoproper datingrdquo and happy rela-tionships by creating the Richardson Dating Academy or RDA as our children call it

It wasnrsquot long after we started the RDA that friends of our children wanted to partici-

pate and even become RDA graduates So how about you Are you ready to become a

dating academy graduate yourself Class is in session

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 27

Lesso983150 1 ur983152oses 983137983150d St983137983150d983137rds of D983137ti983150983143

Lesso983150 2 W983137tch 983137983150d Le983137r983150

Homework

As you know ldquodatingrdquo means different things to differ-

ent people Your first assignment is to figure out just what

a ldquodaterdquo is according to Church standards Can you explain

the purposes of dating and the specific dating standards and

guidelines set by the Church Or do you know when itrsquosmost appropriate to be involved in dating and steady dating

(having a boyfriend or girlfriend)

You can find answers to these questions in the ldquoDatingrdquo

section of For the Strength of Youth The First Presidency

reminds us why knowing and understanding these stan-

dards are so important They promise ldquoThe standards in this

Elder Jeffrey R Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles once explained that most athletic contests have ldquolines

drawn on the floor or the field within which every participant

must stay in order to competerdquo3 Success depends on how

well a competitor knows and stays within the set boundaries

Likewise itrsquos important to know the ldquodating linesrdquo or the pur-

poses and standards of dating as taught by Church leaders

One of the most com-

mon ways people learn

is by watching others

Dating is no different

In the dating academy

we spend time observ-

ing others in dating

situations In our family

we learned many point-ersmdashsome to do others

to avoidmdashby watching

dates in progress at

restaurants and other

settings Yes we went to

certain places with the

sole purpose to observe

dates for ldquoclassrdquo

booklet will help you with the important choices you are

making now and will yet make in the futurerdquo4

Now that you have a solid foundation of the stan-

dards and purposes of dating (you did do your home-

work and read that section didnrsquot you) itrsquos time to move

on to lesson 2

Tips

Here are some suggestions that will help you learn

as you observe

bull Watch but donrsquot be creepy This is about learning from

others but not stalking staring or even judging Look for

things you like and things you would like to avoid

bull Go to a variety of places and settings to observe others

Not every date is the same nor should it be Watch how thesetting affects the experience

bull Watch how people interact with each other Can you tell

who is with whom Are they paying attention to each

other In what ways Are they talking with each other Do

they look like they enjoy being with each other How can

you tell if they are having fun

bull Talk with a parent leader or good friends and share what

you noticed and what you learned

Homework

The next time you go

out to eat attend a movie

or go to almost any activ-

ity make an effort to look

around and see how other

people are interacting It

may surprise you to see

how much dating is actu-ally going on Take the

time to learn from those

around you by paying

attention to whatrsquos work-

ing and what isnrsquot

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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28 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 3 l983137983150983150i983150983143 983137 D983137te

Tips

bull Start planning early

bull Donrsquot be afraid to bounce ideas off your friendsparents and others They can provide excellent

suggestions that you havenrsquot even thought about

bull Make sure you let your budget amount of time

available the reasons for dating and Church stan-

dards guide your planning

bull Think of what you hope will happen during the

date from beginning to end This helps you realize

what needs to be done to make the date a success

bull Pay attention to details Call ahead for event times

prices menus and what the proper dress is for

the occasion

bull Plan for emergencies For example what will you

do if you donrsquot have enough money or have car

trouble What if your date gets sick

Homework

Rather than leaving everything to chance dating acad-

emy grads understand what needs to happen and theyplan accordingly

Your homework assignment even if yoursquore years away

from dating is to practice planning an event You can

brainstorm with friends really fun ideas for a date Then

work together to think of what planning is required to

make those ideas actually happen Or you can ask your

parents to let you plan the next family outing

You might choose a place to eat or what to do Plan all

the details (event times travel time cost backup plans)

and then put your plan into action You could evencome up with a dating plan complete with backup ideas

if something goes wrong and share it in family home

evening while talking together around the dinner table

or with friends You may find that properly planning an

activity is almost as much fun as the actual date

The quality of experience yoursquoll have with others is

often determined by what happens before a date begins

Showing up on your datersquos doorstep with no plan is a

recipe for an awkward experience Nobody likes playing

the ldquoWhat do you want to dordquo game

Yoursquore better than that With a little practice you can

become a date-planning champion And young women

no fair skipping this section While most of the time young

men plan and ask for dates yoursquoll still want to have these

skills down for when itrsquos your turn

Group Date IdeasNeed ideas Check out ldsorggoideasNE8 Some

of the youth activities there could be adapted for dates

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Homework

In the Richardson Dating Academy all of our

children practiced dating invitations For example

our children might call an aunt older sibling or other

family member to practice inviting someone on a

date Or our son or daughter would receive an invita-

tion from a family member and practice responding

They learned how to deal with rejection acceptance

or even a disinterested response or two

Now itrsquos your turn Working with your parents ask

them to line up somebody in your family you can call

and practice inviting on a date Make sure you do this

more than once

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 29

You know your dating standards front and back

yoursquove watched others in dating situations and

yoursquove come up with a solid date plan

Congratulations Now you still need to invite

someone Or you need to know how to respond

when you are invited So whatrsquos the best way A

phone call Ask in person Here are some different

points to consider

Lesso983150 4 I983150viti983150983143 Others 983137983150d Bei983150983143 I983150vited

Tips

bull Be ready to give details when you invite

someone on a date Talk about what you have

planned start and end times whorsquos participat-ing and how they should dress (casual dressy

etc) Your excellent planning from academy

lesson 3 makes this part of the academy easy

bull Therersquos a time to talk by phone and a time to

ask face-to-face The more important the event

is the more personal the invitation should be

Donrsquot be afraid to skip technology and actually

talk with someone

bull Some events may require you to speak with

your datersquos parents first This shows respectand courtesy

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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30 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 5 O983150 the D983137te

It would be impossible for any dating academy to cover

every little thing to consider or plan for in dating So much

depends on good judgment communication with your par-

ents and listening to the Spirit

Still here are a few key points you might want to brush

up on before putting your date plan into action

Tips

bull Develop a ldquoyou firstrdquo attitude This means you always

think of your date first Is he or she having fun Is he or

she comfortable

bull Make sure you dress appropriately for the occasion

The way you dress usually communicates how you feelabout others and about the event Know the difference

between casual (but never sloppy) semiformal and

formal and when it would be appropriate to dress in

those ways

bull Show common courtesy by opening doors saying

thank you talking less about yourself and more about

your date and extending sincere compliments

bull Learn how to navigate restaurants Know how to make

a reservation get a table calculate a service tip and

pay the bill

Homework

Once again the best way to learn any good skill is by practic-

ing it Our youth enjoyed role-playing different situations

to think about how to act most appropriately We

also loved going out to eat as part of the dating acad-

emy experience Our children learned how to act in

a restaurant order a meal calculate the tip and paythe bill by actually doing it when they were with us

Look for opportunities to practice skills you should use on a

date For example the next time you and your family go some-

where ask your parents to let you purchase the tickets order

the meal or calculate the tip Treat your family or friends with

the same respect and courtesy that you should show others on a

date Open doors for your family be the first to say ldquothank yourdquo

and pay attention so you are part of the conversation

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 31

Lesso983150 6 The Doorste983152

NOTES

1 Thomas S Monson ldquoPreparation BringsBlessingsrdquo Ensign May 2010 64

2 Russell M Nelson ldquoCelestial Marriagerdquo Ensign Nov 2008 93

3 Jeffrey R Holland ldquoWe Are All Enlistedrdquo Ensign Nov 2011 45

4 ldquoMessage to the Youth from The First Presi-dencyrdquo For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

5 John Bytheway ldquoWhat Do Kisses Meanrdquo New Era Oct 2004 38ndash41

Last but not least dating

academy graduates know how

to conclude a date on the right

note Nothing sours a great date

more than a bad ending

Herersquos how you can finish a

date with success

Tips

bull Express gratitude Be sincere

and to the point If there was something you especially

liked tell your date what

it was

bull Therersquos no reason for drag-

ging things on at this point

Yoursquove already spent plenty

of time together Avoid the

ldquodoorstep shufflerdquo When

people arenrsquot sure what to

say they tend to shuffle backand forth or move their feet

in place If you find yourself

ldquoshufflingrdquo in place itrsquos a

pretty good signal that you

need to say good-bye

bull Know and follow the

Churchrsquos counsel on kissing

and physical intimacy (You

might also want to read John

Bythewayrsquos article ldquoWhat Do

Kisses Meanrdquo5 at ldsorggo

kissesNE8)

Homework

Yes herersquos another opportunity for practicing Our family has spent several family

home evenings role-playing doorstep good-byes Itrsquos been both helpful and fun to

watch an older sibling coach the younger sibling with dorsquos and donrsquots

Most memorable was an older sister showing how she could turn a hug into a

handshake with the grace of a princess and the speed of a ninja You too can get

together with family members and role-play different scenarios that might happen on

a doorstep We guarantee itrsquoll be an academy night yoursquoll all remember

Gr983137du983137tio983150

If yoursquove studied all the

material worked on the tips done

the homework and talked through

the lessons with your parents and

family you too can become a

dating academy graduate

As you continue strengthening

these important skills yoursquoll find

support strength and power that

will bless your relationships both

now and in the future You will be

better prepared for happiness NE

Do Try This at HomeInterested in having a dating academy at

home Let your parents know therersquos an RDAarticle for them in this monthrsquos Ensign or atldsorggoRDA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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32 N e w E r a

S U N DA Y L E S S

O N S

This Monthrsquos Topic

Ma r r iage a nd

Fa m i l y

MARRIAGE IS WORTH ITldquoIt is so rewarding to bemarried Marriage is wonder-ful In time you begin to thinkalike and have the same ideasand impressions You havetimes when you are extremelyhappy times of testing andtimes of trial but the Lordguides you through all ofthose growth experiencestogetherrdquo

Elder Richard G Scott of the

Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo

Ensign May 2011 96

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 33

We love being marr ied and he

rersquos why

By Ben and Rachel Nielsen

Letrsquos face it girls (and boys) itrsquos nice to know that someone loves you

And when yoursquore married you have chances to share and receive love every

day When I was talking to my parents about the possibility of marrying

Ben my dad said ldquoWhomever you choose to marry I want him to fre-

quently and sincerely express his love for you like Elder Richard G Scott did

for his wiferdquo3 I listened to Dad

I decided to marry Ben and he has always made an effort to express

his love to me in small and big ways During my senior year of college I

worked for months to prepare apply and interview for a prestigious intern-ship And when I finally heard that I got the job I came home and saw a

vase full of flowers from my husband He knew how hard I had worked and

how much the internship meant to me At other times hersquoll hide my favorite

drink and a love note in the fridge before he heads out for a weekend Scout

camp And every day hersquoll do the dishes and make me laugh Ben is great at

expressing his love for me and that brings both of us great joy

During my mission in Brazil I grew to love soccer One thing that I lovemost about this sport is having teammates and learning how to work together

with my team Rachel is a fantastic teammate She helps me achieve my

goals joins me in making important decisions and is there for me when I

have trouble

When we were sealed in the temple we promised to ldquohelp one another as

equal partnersrdquo2 Rachel and I strive to support each other in everything we

do and itrsquos great to know that I always have a reliable teammate

After our first date we both

knew we wanted to go

on a second date Ben

wanted to go on

another date because Rachel was

friendly and fun to talk to Rachel

wanted to go on another date

because Ben was a gentleman

and was still smiling after all of

his well-laid plans fell through

After the second date plus manymore dates and prayers after

that we fell in love and decided

to get married in the Sacramento

California Temple

The wedding day was abso-

lutely perfect and we have loved

being married ever since The

world may see marriage differ-

ently but we know that ldquono other

relationship of any kind canbring as much joy generate as

much good or produce as much

personal refinementrdquo1 Marriage

is awesome and herersquos why

FROM BEN A T e a m m a t e

FROM RACHEL

E x p r e s s i o n s o f L o v e

WHY MARRIAGE IS

A w e s o m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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34 N e w E r a

JOIN THE CONVERSATION

Things to Ponder for Sunday

bull What qualities and attitudes make for the strongest

and happiest marriages and families

bull What are you doing now that will help your future

marriage and family stay strong and happy

Things You Might Do

bull Share with some friends your goal of marrying and

having a family and tell them why

bull In church share why you are looking forward

to marriage and family and how you are pre-

paring for them

serving in the Church and inviting others to come unto

Christ As we work together to build the kingdom of God

we grow closer our love deepens and life is more fulfilling

Dating Rachel is so much fun In fact we make surethat we still frequently go on dates even as a married

couple After we first met we found that we enjoy many

of the same activities walking through parks attending

plays watching sporting events eating new and different

food listening to music and so much more I loved doing

these things before I met Rachel but theyrsquore even more

fun now that we get to share them together When yoursquore

married you have someone to enjoy life withmdashand that

makes life awesome

Before I met Ben I was nearing the age of missionary

service and had seriously considered serving a full-time

mission But then Ben entered my life and I knew that

Heavenly Father had a different plan for me

When Ben and I got engaged relatives who knew

about my thoughts to serve a mission asked me about my

choice and I would tell them ldquoI decided that I wanted topick my own missionary companionmdashand stay with him

for eternityrdquo

When yoursquore married you and your spouse have the

chance to participate in the work of salvation together

Ben and I have found great joy in building a Christ-

centered home studying and living the gospel together

Despite what the world may say marriage is awesome

and is worth making a priority When yoursquore married you

have a teammate you give and receive love you enjoy life

more fully and you have someone to build the kingdom

of God with All of that brings us great joy and because

we were sealed in the temple we can have this joy forever

If we keep our covenants we will be together for eternityand receive the crowning blessings of the priesthood We

ldquohave found in marriage the richest fulfillment of human

existencerdquo 4 NE

Ben and Rachel Nielsen live in Utah USA

NOTES

1 L Whitney Clayton ldquoMarriage Watch and Learnrdquo Ensign May 2013 83 2 ldquoThe Family A Proclamation to the Worldrdquo Ensign Nov 2010 129 3 See Richard G Scott ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo Ensign May

2011 96 4 James E Faust ldquoEnriching Your Marriagerdquo Ensign Apr 2007 6

FROM BEN M o r e E n jo y m e n t

FROM RACHEL A n E t e r n a l M is s i o n a r y C o m p a n io n

TAKE IT FROM US

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Your family can help unite the family of GodYou can all share the gospel in natural and pleasant ways

P H O T O I L L U S T R A T I O N B Y D A V I D S T O K E R

M O R M O N A D

(See M Russell Ballard ldquoPut Your Trust in the Lordrdquo Ensign Nov 2013 43)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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36 N e w E r a

By Alex Larsen

I always knew I wanted to be a mother but when I was grow-

ing up it wasnrsquot always on my mind When my fianceacute and I

were engaged one day I was talking with one of my college

professorsmdasha woman I greatly admiredmdashabout my engage-

ment She said something that brought my life choices into sharp

focus ldquoYou are wasting your talentrdquo she told me as she shook

her head She went on to say that someone as smart as I was

should not get married young She assumed I would have chil-

dren in my future and would be ldquothrowing awayrdquo my education

and chances of a stellar career on my future motherhood I could

tell by the way she looked at me that she thought I was making

a terrible and naiumlve mistake

Itrsquos been several years since that conversation and my hus-

band and I have two little girls Kate is three years old and is

my little sweetheart She moves through life at a leisurely pace

savoring all of the little details she notices Annabel is one yearold with bright blue eyes and a head of curls Shersquos exuberant

and determined Though I didnrsquot change my mind because of

what my professor said our discussion has stayed with me In

one way my professorrsquos predictions were correct I do not have

a prestigious working career But my professor got the most

important point wrong because I have wasted nothing

g i v i n

g u p e v e r y

t hi n g

but wh a t

I

g a i n ed

w as w o r t h so much m o r e

T h e wor l d t o l d me

I w ould

b e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 37

their spirits growing and developing I remember

the first time Kate pointed to a picture of the Savior and

said ldquoJesusrdquo I knew then that what I was doing was eter-

nally significant in the lives of my children

The world often tells us that lifersquos rewards come in

the form of status money or grand accomplishments

but I know therersquos great satisfaction even in the small

acts of changing diapers or wiping sticky fingers Every

little thing I do as a mother is part of helping to build the

kingdom of God by nurturing His children I always knew

I wanted children but it was not until I held my first baby

in my arms that I began to realize how much my heart

was capable of loving

The love I have for my daughters has helped me bet-

ter understand how much my Heavenly Father loves all

of His children When speaking of little children Jesustaught that ldquoof such is the kingdom of heavenrdquo (Matthew

1914) More than anything motherhood has helped me

to grow as a daughter of God because now I know what

a daughter of God looks like from the eyes of a parent

The world makes us think that a woman loses herself in

motherhoodmdashshe loses her body her free time and her

career But I have found myself in motherhood I feel

more beautiful and more valuable than ever before NE

Alex Larsen lives in California USA

I love the opportunity to stay home and care for my

young children because these are the most formative

years of their lives I have the opportunity to create a rich

home environment for my girls by reading and discussing

things with them as part of our everyday life Kate will

often astound me by remembering and commenting on

something wersquod read in a book several weeks before and

Annabel learns a new skill almost every day But as fun

and important as it is to watch them learn new

information and skills I feel the

most satisfied when I see

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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38 N e w E r a

One o f t h e g r e a t e s t ad v enture s o f y o u r l i f e w i l l b e y our rol e a n d c a l l i n g a s a f a t her

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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ROcksROcksROcks

NOTE

1 See Thomas S Monson ldquoWelcome to Conferencerdquo Ensign Nov 2012 4ndash5

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 39

DA D D A DD AD

By Chris Deaver

W

hen I was younger I loved spending time

with my dad He always knew the bestgames to play the best stories to tell at night

and the most interesting sports to try It was

like he was born to be a great dad

Fast-forward my life to when I married my sweetheart

Julia and then even further to the moment that our first

child Daniel was born I was filled with a rush of emo-

tions I was happy shocked amazed and a little scared

I felt totally inadequate to be a father and to have the

responsibility of teaching and being an example to my son

But I quickly realized that Irsquod been preparing all my life tobe a dad When I held my son in my arms for the first time

and looked down into his face I felt the Spirit touch my

heart and I realized that I was ready to try to be a great

dad just like my own dad was to me

When Daniel was very young he already had a great

sense of humor He learned to tell hilarious jokes that

would make my wife and me laugh He also often said

things that inspired us Shortly after hearing President

Thomas S Monson announce the change in age require-

ments for young men and young women preparingto serve missions1 we were driving in the car Daniel

announced that he would start preparing himself right

then at age six so he would have 12 years of preparation

Then he said with a smile ldquoDad can I change the song

from lsquoI Hope They Call Me on a Missionrsquo to lsquoI AM Going on

a Missionrsquordquo It was awesome

WHYbeing a

Three years after Daniel was born he was followed by his

brother Austin For me as a dad itrsquos been great to watch bothboys become best friends And Austin has been just as fun

as Daniel in his own way He enjoys building and destroying

block towers and one of his favorite activities is to fearlessly

wrestle me as if I stand no chance against his four-year-old

powers Of course I give in and let him winmdashso I guess I

reinforce his belief But itrsquos so much fun I know hersquoll be a

great wrestler but what I want most is for him to wrestle

ldquoagainst the rulers of the darkness of this worldrdquo and ldquoagainst

spiritual wickednessrdquo like it says in the scriptures (Ephesians

612) And I hope Irsquom helping to prepare him to do that We just recently had our third child a baby girl named

Faith During the delivery my wife was having some com-

plications and we were scared for our baby I gave Julia

a blessing Then she asked me to sing to her The Spirit

brought peace to both of us Soon baby Faith came safely

into the world It was a miracle and she definitely lived up

to her name Faithrsquos beautiful smile brightens my life I canrsquot

express in words how much she means to me

For any young man still wondering let me tell you You

were born to be a great dad The world may not agree butfatherhood is the best Someday yoursquoll find that your kids

inspire you too and that being a dad is the greatest adven-

ture of your life Yes itrsquos a duty and something you need to

take seriously but being a dad is unlike anything else NE

Chris Deaver lives in Florida USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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40 N e w E r a

We always seem to be encouraged to read more

because well everyone knows that reading is a

good thing But not all books are worth reading and just

because sexual material is written about rather than pho-

tographed or video recorded doesnrsquot mean that itrsquos less

morally hazardous Making a common display of a sacred

intimacy thatrsquos intended to only be part of a marriage rela-

tionship is wrongmdashwhether in words or imagesIf something yoursquore reading contains explicit sexual

descriptions that imprint themselves on your mind and

arouse sexual feelings in the same way that looking at

pornographic images would then guess what Itrsquos pornog-

raphy Remember the counsel in For the Strength of Youth

ldquoChoose wisely when using media because whatever you

read listen to or look at has an effect on you Select only

media that uplifts yourdquo ([2011] 11) NE

T O T H E P O I N T

President Boyd K

Packer President of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoEach

of us must come to ourown personal testimony

of the Lord Jesus Christ

We then share that testi-

mony with our family and

othersrdquo1 It can sometimes

be easy to question the

depth of your testimony

I know looking at pornographic

pictures is wrong but whatabout reading books with

ldquoromanticrdquo scenes

If I donrsquot have a burning

desire to share thegospel does that mean I

donrsquot have a testimony

when you compare your-

self to people like Brigham

Young who once said ldquoI

wanted to thunder and

roar out the gospel to thenations It burned in my

bones like fire pent uprdquo2

So what if you donrsquot feel

fire in your bones

Hopefully your lack of

desire doesnrsquot come from

a lack of concern for your

fellowmen As your faith in

Jesus Christ grows so does

your love of all people a

love that is a mark of the

true followers of Christ (see

Moroni 748 John 1335)

Itrsquos likely however

that your hesitancy sim-

ply comes from fear and

anxiety about speaking toothers For many people

such feelings can be over-

whelming Even prophets

have had doubts about their

ability to speak to people

(see Exodus 410 Moses

631) They of course

had no reason to question

their testimoniesmdashand

neither should you if you

are studying the scriptures

pondering praying fasting

repenting and doing all the

other things that help bring

the Spirit into your life

If you feel you just

need a little extra cour-age to share the gos-

pel visit ldsorggo

shareNE8 for ideas NE

NOTES

1 Boyd K Packer ldquoThe Witnessrdquo Ensign May 2014 96

2 Teachings of Presidents ofthe Church Brigham Young (1997) viii

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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C O M E F O L L O W M E

Family

983152983137tter983150 of

President Boyd K PackerPresident of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

April 2014 general conference

The ultimate end

of all activity in

the Church is that

a man and his wife

and their childrencan be happy

at home

The FamilyYoursquoll be studying about the family in your Sunday classes

this month As you study and discuss family you may pon-der these questions Why do Church leaders emphasize

family so much What is the place of family in Heavenly

Fatherrsquos plan How does family help make us happy

To find some answers to these questions see the

family proclamation near the back of your Personal

Progress or Duty to God booklet or online at ldsorg

gofamilyNE8 Yoursquoll also find teachings about

family relationships in general conference talks at

conferenceldsorg

Give yourself an easy reminder to prepare for your

Sunday lessons on the family Just place these cards

in your scriptures locker or bedroom You can also

download or share them online at ldsorggocardsNE8 B A C K G R O U N D T E X T U R E

B Y I S T O C K P H O T O T H I N K S T O C K

We 983150eed We 983150eed

MOR E

983155tre983150983143the983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

RELATIONSHIPS

983153u983137lity 983153u983137lity TIME amp EFFORT INTO

TO PUT

983155re983150983143te983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4452

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4552

T H E E X T R A S M I L E

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 43

I dont like to pack so I rsquo m just wearing all my stuff

JON CLARK

W h a t m a k e s y o

u t h i n k

D a d rsquo s t a l k i n g t o

t h e

p r o p h e t

B ecaus e h e s ai d h e w as on a conf er ence cal l

RYAN STOKER

F r o m n o w o n j u s t t a k e

a p i c t u r e o f t h e t o o t h a n

d

u p l o a d i t t o m y F a c e b o o k

p a g e

a n d t h e n I rsquo l l s e n d y o u t h e

m o n e y t h r o u g h P a y P a l

RANDY GLASBERGEN

[Gasp] He he made h is bed this morning

And I didnrsquo t even ask

VAL CHADWICK BAGLEY

Who says there arenrsquo t modern m iracles

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4652

44 N e w E r a

ldquoMymom works

Since you donrsquot see your mom often make sure that

the time you do have together is used well You

could talk to your mom about how to do this She

wants a good relationship with you too and will

help you work on it Try asking her what she would

appreciate coming home to a clean house doing an activity

together just talking with you As you regularly do activities your mom appreciates your relationship will improve

Of course you could plan some fun activities to do together

but any meaningful time togethermdashsuch as washing the dishes

or reading the scripturesmdashcan be a great way to build your

relationship

Also plan time for communication Understanding one

another is a key ingredient in good relationships One thing

to discuss is how your momrsquos work schedule will affect your

relationship with her You can avoid misunderstandings if you

talk about your expectations as well as your momrsquosPrayer will help Families are important to Heavenly Father

so He can inspire you to know how to improve your relation-

ship with your mom Donrsquot ignore a prompting to do something

that seems small (see Alma 376) A hug and a smile for exam-

ple can make a big difference NE

Write a Note

Even if you have very

little time together you

can still express your

love to your mother

Write her thoughtful secret notes As

she reads them at work she will think

of you Do as much as you can for

her Think about her more often and

pray for her Ask the Lord to inspire

you and prompt you regarding how

you can improve your relationship Irinka E 20 Odessa Ukraine

Seek to Understand Her

Try to understand her situation

because she works for your benefit

You can begin by helping with things

at home like cleaning the house

helping your siblings and cooking

You also can share scriptures with

your mom pray together and doactivities that you like to do together

Morony M 18 Chihuahua Mexico

Have a Special Sunday

On some Sundays we

have a special lunch

or dinner with a new

dessert we talk and at

the end we sing hymns This brings

us together and helps us be betterfriends

Rebeca N 12 Satildeo Paulo Brazil

Try an Experiment

We arrange time to be together hav-

ing family home evening playing

games going to the beach having

lunch together All of this helps to

Q U E S T I O N S amp A N S W E R S

all day Howcan I improve our

relationshiprdquo

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4752

keep the flame of a good relationship

alive When we disagree we avoid

criticizing I know that sometimes I

ask not to do housework but this

contributes to disharmony in the

home Since I began this experiment

mdashcomplaining less lowering my

voice helping more with housework

and talking more with my mothermdash

a sweet spirit has developed in our

home and we cooperate more

Glenda C 18 Bahia Brazil

Help at Home

Do some extra chores

around the house Your

mom has been work-

ing all day If she has

less work to do when she gets home

shersquoll probably be happier and have

more time to talk and do things with

you While you are talking you canask about her day at work It will

show her that you care and it will

open doors for other topics of discus-

sion allowing you to grow closer

Heather B 18 Oregon USA

Find Something You BothLike to Do

My mumrsquos relationship with me

skyrocketed when I said ldquoI want tospend more time with you but I donrsquot

know what to do or when to do itrdquo

Playing board games happens to be

our favorite pastime So we set aside

a time together to play laugh and

make memories When you are open

with your parents eventually they

become your best companions You

UPCOMING QUESTION

ldquoMy parents just

got divorced Irsquom angry that they

have broken up our

family How doI forgive themrdquo

Send your answer and photo by

September 15 2014

Go to neweraldsorg click ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo enter your LDS Accountand then select ldquoNew Erardquo

Responses may be edited for length

or clarity

Responses are intended for help and per-

spective not as official pronouncements ofChurch doctrine

will be able to talk to them about

anything and you will be sure of an

honest answer That is the sign of a

mature relationship

Ephraim S 15 New South Wales Australia

Read Scriptures Together

Both of you could set a goal to read

together every day even just five

minutes from the Book of Mormon

or any other Church book It will

strengthen your relationship andnourish you with the word of God

so you can be ready to face each day

Remember also to pray to God and

ask for His help I know He hears you

and loves you

Laura M 19 Coacuterdoba Argentina

LEARN FROM

YOUR MOTHER

ldquoPlease look to yourfaithful mothers fora pattern to followModel yourselves

after them not after celebritieswhose standards are not the Lordrsquosstandards and whose values maynot reflect an eternal perspectiveLook to your mother Learn fromher strengths her courage andher faithfulness Listen to her She

may not be a whiz at texting shemay not even have a Facebookpage But when it comes to mat-ters of the heart and the thingsof the Lord she has a wealth ofknowledgerdquo

Elder M Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles ldquoMothers and Daughtersrdquo

Ensign May 2010 19

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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46 N e w E r a

MISERABLE TOTHE END OFTHE STREET

For one family home evening my

dad wanted to take advantage

of a pause in the rainy weather

to go on a walk around the neighbor-

hood I grumbled and complained

that it was too wet and muddy to

go walking I used the excuse that

I had a ballet recital that week and

didnrsquot want to sprain an ankle but

my dad didnrsquot buy it He insisted thatit was going to be the activity for the

evening I murmured a bit more about

the unfairness and my recital but we

left on the walk anyway

As I glumly stomped outside for

the walk with my family I was deter-

mined not to smile or be happy I

succeeded in feeling miserable until

I N S T A N T M E S S A G E S

we reached the end of the street Then

we turned the corner and I saw in full

force naturersquos beauty and wonder

Before me was a gorgeous sunset

and opposite it was a rainbow arching

above our neighborhood rooftops

I immediately forgot all about being

miserable and looked around in awe

On the way home I said a prayer of

gratitude thanking God for the beautyof His creations I later thanked my

dad for choosing the activity and for

allowing us to enjoy nature for that

family home evening

Jennie H North Carolina USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4952

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 47

STANDARDS AND FRIENDS

Since Irsquove been in school Irsquove had friends who havenrsquot understood the

moral standards of our religion At first it was difficult but over time

my friends have become used to the idea of my being morally clean I

made a goal in my life to be clean and pure and itrsquos worked out well both

for me and for those who used to criticize me Over time respect peace and

joy have become a part of our loving circle of friends

Vitoacuteria M Brazil

A DIFFICULT DECISION

FORGIVINGMY FRIENDS

As the only member of the

Church in my peer group

Irsquove experienced some

instances when my friends have

offended me Sometimes they judge

and criticize my religion I feel so

alone yet Irsquom thankful I know the

standards of the Church

If my friends offend me I try to

humble myself and avoid contention

because I know contention is evil When they start discussing some mat-

ters about the Church I just testify of

my belief in the gospel

I always forgive my friends with or

without their apology Forgiving is not

just about saying ldquoApology acceptedrdquo

or ldquoItrsquos OKrdquo because forgiveness has

a deep meaning Jesus Christ atoned

for our sins so that Heavenly Father

can forgive usEven though my friends donrsquot

understand my faith now I know that

I can be Godrsquos instrument to teach

them the gospel I am helping them

and at the same time I am helping

myself to grow spiritually and prepare

to serve a mission

Joshua V Philippines

As volleyball tryouts approached for my senior year in high

school I couldnrsquot believe the thought that was running through

my head I wasnrsquot supposed to play volleyball Irsquod played vol-

leyball since seventh grademdashwhy should this year be any different

Not seeing the sense in quitting I ignored the feeling and continued

to participate in summer volleyball events After a while the feeling

came back so I decided that if I really wasnrsquot supposed to be on the

team my coach would just cut me during tryouts

Then one night at the gym I couldnrsquot focus on the game at all I felt

terrible and restless inside I came home frustrated with my team and

with myself I sat next to my mom and sister and cried I told them

how confused I was and my mom told me to pray and ask Heavenly

Father what He wanted me to do I went up to my room and began to

pray I told Heavenly Father how I felt then I asked Him to help mefeel peace if I was not supposed to continue playing volleyball I felt

His peace in my heart and knew that I needed to quit

Irsquom still not sure all the reasons why that was the right

decision but I know that itrsquos what the Lord

wanted me to do and thatrsquos a good

enough reason for me

The next morning I told my

coach and my teammates that

I wasnrsquot going to be playing

Even though it was incrediblyhard I knew I was doing

the right thing

Klaire B Arizona USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5152

you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5252

WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2252

How Do You Defend Do you have experi-ence in defending yourbeliefs Or do you haveideas to add to theselists Go to ldsorggodefendNE8 and share

Finding Courage

Read more on this topic atldsorggocourageNE8

someonersquos doing that to you

donrsquot retaliate and do the

same thing back to them The

Apostle Peter taught that the

Savior Himself gave the exam-

ple you should follow in thisregard (see 1 Peter 223)

ldquoLOVE YOUR ENEMIESbless them

that curse you

DO GOOD TO T HEMTHAT HATE YOU

and pray for

them which

DESPITEFULLY USE YOUAND PERSECUTE YOUrdquo

(Matthew 544)ldquoSEE THAT YE ARE NOT lifted u983152 u983150to

983152ride ye983137 SEE THAT YE DO

NOT BOAST IN YOUR

OWN WISDOM

983150or of your 983149uch stre983150983143thldquoUSE BOLDNESS

BUT NOT

OVERBEARANCErdquo (Alma 3811ndash12)

Here the word tenets

refers to opinions or teachings

that go beyond the basics So

the Lord is saying to stick to

the basic message of the gos-

pel when yoursquore declaring Hisglad tidings This also applies

to defending your faith

You donrsquot need to stray into

detailed discussions about

every little thing related to the

Church As Elder Richard G

Scott of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles has said

ldquoKeep your sharing of the

gospel simple rdquo (ldquo lsquoI HaveGiven You an Examplerdquo

Ensign May 2014 34)

ldquoEveryone independent

of his or her decisions and

beliefs deserves our kind-

ness and considerationrdquo said

Elder Neil L Andersen of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles ldquoThe Savior

taught us to love not only

our friends but also those

who disagree with usmdashand

even those who repudiate

usrdquo (ldquoSpiritual Whirlwindsrdquo

Ensign May 2014 20)

Again be humble Itrsquos not

about you or how smart and

capable you are Also you can

be bold without making over-

blown statements or being

a verbal or intellectual bully

As Elder Jeffrey R Holland

of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoYou willone day find yourself called

upon to defend your faith

Such moments will require

both courage and courtesy

on your partrdquo (ldquoThe Costmdashand

Blessingsmdashof Discipleshiprdquo

Ensign May 2014 6)

ldquoA983150d of te983150ets thou sh983137lt 983150ot t983137lk but thou shalt

declare repentance andfaith on the Savior and 983154e983149issio983150 of si983150sby baptism and by fire

yea even the Holy Ghostrdquo(DampC 1931)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2352

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2452

22 N e w E r a

I received my first two-wheel bicycle

when I was eight years old With

the help of my older brother and

father I began the rather scary pro-

cess of figuring out how to ride it The other kids in the neighborhood

made it look so easy and natural as

they zoomed up and down the street

on their bikes I perched on the bike

seatmdashwhich seemed to be at least

10 feet (3 m) above the groundmdashand

realized there was absolutely noth-

ing to keep me from falling over and

proving that the law of gravity was

alive and well As I tried riding I learned quickly

that if I wanted to stay balanced I had

to keep pedaling When I first sat on

the seat speed was the last thing I

wanted to add to the already daunting

equation But I very soon understood

the wisdom and the physics involved

in moving forward As long as I kept

pedaling I could stay upright and

avoid the rough concrete just waiting

to take the skin off my arms and legs

Soon I was zipping around the neigh-

borhood with my friends

Defy Gr983137vity Defy Gr983137vity

of the First Presidency as outlined

in that booklet our lives will be bal-

anced and steady We will be led

where we want to go

We need to keep moving forwardto avoid falling To do that we should

consistently and faithfully do certain

actions

bull Pray morning and night

bull Study the scriptures daily

bull Attend Church meetings and par-

take of the sacrament worthily

bull Serve those around us

bull Be worthy to attend the temple

All of these actions keep us moving

forward in the right direction

Thatrsquos why reading and being famil-

iar with the standards described in For

the Strength of Youth will help ensure

we are making choices consistent with

Godrsquos standards Living these princi-

ples and keeping the commandments

F O R T H E S T R E N G T H O F Y O U T H

By Bonnie LOscarson

Young WomenGeneral President

As you keep moving forward you can stay upright even

when outside forces try to pull you down

Just as those who keep

pedaling a bike can stay

upright despite gravityrsquos

influence those who are

guided by the Holy Spirit in

all they do can withstand

the influence of theadversary

So it is with living the gospel and

the standards in For the Strength of

Youth It takes faith to believe that if

we consistently follow the counsel

GO FORWARD WITH FAITH

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 23

invite the Holy Ghost to be our con-

stant companion Just as those who

keep pedaling a bike can stay upright

despite gravityrsquos influence those who

are guided by the Holy Spirit in allthey do can withstand the influence of

the adversary

What are the destinations you have

in mind as you pedal forward For all

young men of the Aaronic Priesthood

preparing now for a full-time mission

is important in forward growth For

all youth being prepared to go to the

temple and receive the endowment by

making and keeping sacred covenantsshould also be a primary goal

As the message from the First

Presidency at the beginning of For the

Strength of Youth says ldquoIn all that you

do stay focused on the temple In the

temple you will receive the greatest

of all the Lordrsquos blessings including

marriage for time and all eternityrdquo1

Receiving the covenant of eternal

marriage in the house of the Lord and

becoming righteous husbands wives

fathers and mothers may seem far

down the road but the time to beginpreparing is now All of these things

lead to the most glorious and grand

destination of allmdasheternal life with

our Heavenly Father

One of my favorite scriptures

sums up what we need to do in order

to keep moving toward our goals

ldquoWherefore ye must press forward

with a steadfastness in Christ hav-

ing a perfect brightness of hopeand a love of God and of all men

Wherefore if ye shall press forward

feasting upon the word of Christ and

endure to the end behold thus saith

the Father Ye shall have eternal liferdquo

(2 Nephi 3120)

Just as I learned as an eight-year-

old girl that I needed to keep pedaling

and moving forward in order to defy

gravity and keep my balance on my

bicycle it is important for all of us to

keep moving forward with faith trust-

ing in the counsel of living prophetsand a loving Heavenly Father to keep

us from falling Some of our destina-

tions are just down the road while

others will take a lifetime of faithful

living to achieve The promises of

what lies at the end of the road if we

are faithful are certain and glorious

and well worth the ride NE

NOTE

1 For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

Learn MoreSee whatrsquos next in your covenant path

at ldsorggocovenantNE8

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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24 N e w E r a

BOA R D

GA M E S

B y Da vid Chris tensen

My chance to play le f t

a lasting impact but it

wasnrsquot what Irsquod e xpected

L o s i n

g s o

q u i c k

l y w

a s b

a d e

n o u

g h

b

u t t o

m a k

e m

a t t e r s

w o r s e

t h

e o t h

e r g

u y

s s t a r t e

d t o

m a k

e

f u n

o f

m e

I

t r i e d

t o c o

n t i n

u e

p l a y i n g

e v e

n t h

o u

g h

t h e y

w e r

e b

e i n

g m

e a n

b

u t i t

w a s h

a r d t o h o

l d b

a c k m y t e

a r s

o f f r u s t

r a t i o n

U

n f o

r t u n a t e l y

o n e t e

a r t r i c k l e

d d

o w

n m y

c h e e

k b

e f o

r e I

c o u

l d w i p

e i t

a w a y M

y b

r o t h

e r

s a w i t

a n d

t e a s e

d m

e t o

o

I c o

u l d

n rsquo t

t a k e i t

a n y

m o r e

a n d

r a n t o

m y

r o o m

I g a v e m y s e l

f a q u i c k p i n

c h

t o m a k e s u r

e I w a s n rsquo

t d r e a m i n g

a n d t h e

n I v o i c e d

a t i m i d ldquo Y e

a h

s u r e rdquo I s t

i l l c o u l d

n rsquo t b e l i e

v e t h a t

m y b r o t h e

r h a d i n v

i t e d m e t o

p l a y a g a m e w i t h

t h e ldquo b i g k i

d s rdquo

A f t e r a l l

I rsquo d b e e n t o l d f o r t h

r e e

y e a r s t h a

t I w a s s t i l l

t o o y o u

n g

t o p l a y m o r e d i f fi

c u l t b o a

r d

g a m e s w i t h m y b r o

t h e r a n d

h i s f r i e n d s

A N D B R O

T H

E R S

I

felt the hot tears of anger slowly slide

down my face I wiped them away with

my hand but I could still feel the

slightly salty taste on my lips assobs of anguish began to pour out

I just wanted to hang out with my

brother Why couldnrsquot he be my

friend too

J u s t a f e w

h o u r s

b e f o

r e I h a d

s t a r e d a t

m y o

l d e r b

r o t h

e r S t e v e

i n c o

m p

l e t e s u r p

r i s e

w a i t i n

g f o r h

i m t o

t e

l l

m e t h

a t h e w

a s o n

l y

j o k i n g ldquo W

e l l d o y o

u

w a n

t t o p

l a y rdquo S t e v e

a s k e d i m p

a

t i e n t l y

I w

e n t i n t o t h e

r o o m w h

e r e t h e

o l d e r b o y s

w e r e

s e t t i n g u p

t h e b o a r d

g a m e A s t h e

g a m e s t a r t e d

w i t h

e v e r y o n e s t r a t e g i c a l l y

p l a c i n g

t h e i r g a m

e

p i e c e s

I f e l t l i k e

I w

a s d r e a

m i n g F o r

t h e fi r s t t i m

e

I f e l t e q u a l t o

m y b r o t h e r mdash

n o t l i k e I

w a s j u s t h i s

t a g a l o n g

T h e d r e a m

e n d e d q u i c k

l y h o w e v e r

T h e

g a m e w

a s t o u g h

a n d m y i n

e x p e r i e n c e

a n d l a c k

o f k n o w l e d g e

b e c

a m e

p a i n f u l l y o b v i o u s

a s t h e o t

h e r

p l a y e r s q u i c k l y

a n d

s o u n d l y d e f e a t e d

m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2852

26 N e w E r a

Le983137r983150i983150983143 the i983150s 983137983150d outs of d983137ti983150983143 c983137983150 be h983137rd Let this course tur983150 you

i983150to 983137 d983137ti983150983143 983152ro

By Matthew ORichardson

Served as Second

Counselor in theSunday SchoolGeneral Presidencyfrom 2009 to 2014

hile speaking to youth about how to prepare for a celestial marriage

President Thomas S Monson emphasized that ldquoproper dating is a part

of preparation for marriagerdquo 1 Have you thought much about happy

relationships Elder Russell M Nelson of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said a ldquocelestial marriage brings greater possibilities for happiness than

does any other relationshiprdquo2

When I was serving as bishop in a young single adult ward I worried about those

who approached dating with very little purpose understanding or direction This

caused me to wonder if my own children would be any different when their time came

My wife and I decided to help our children prepare for ldquoproper datingrdquo and happy rela-tionships by creating the Richardson Dating Academy or RDA as our children call it

It wasnrsquot long after we started the RDA that friends of our children wanted to partici-

pate and even become RDA graduates So how about you Are you ready to become a

dating academy graduate yourself Class is in session

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 27

Lesso983150 1 ur983152oses 983137983150d St983137983150d983137rds of D983137ti983150983143

Lesso983150 2 W983137tch 983137983150d Le983137r983150

Homework

As you know ldquodatingrdquo means different things to differ-

ent people Your first assignment is to figure out just what

a ldquodaterdquo is according to Church standards Can you explain

the purposes of dating and the specific dating standards and

guidelines set by the Church Or do you know when itrsquosmost appropriate to be involved in dating and steady dating

(having a boyfriend or girlfriend)

You can find answers to these questions in the ldquoDatingrdquo

section of For the Strength of Youth The First Presidency

reminds us why knowing and understanding these stan-

dards are so important They promise ldquoThe standards in this

Elder Jeffrey R Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles once explained that most athletic contests have ldquolines

drawn on the floor or the field within which every participant

must stay in order to competerdquo3 Success depends on how

well a competitor knows and stays within the set boundaries

Likewise itrsquos important to know the ldquodating linesrdquo or the pur-

poses and standards of dating as taught by Church leaders

One of the most com-

mon ways people learn

is by watching others

Dating is no different

In the dating academy

we spend time observ-

ing others in dating

situations In our family

we learned many point-ersmdashsome to do others

to avoidmdashby watching

dates in progress at

restaurants and other

settings Yes we went to

certain places with the

sole purpose to observe

dates for ldquoclassrdquo

booklet will help you with the important choices you are

making now and will yet make in the futurerdquo4

Now that you have a solid foundation of the stan-

dards and purposes of dating (you did do your home-

work and read that section didnrsquot you) itrsquos time to move

on to lesson 2

Tips

Here are some suggestions that will help you learn

as you observe

bull Watch but donrsquot be creepy This is about learning from

others but not stalking staring or even judging Look for

things you like and things you would like to avoid

bull Go to a variety of places and settings to observe others

Not every date is the same nor should it be Watch how thesetting affects the experience

bull Watch how people interact with each other Can you tell

who is with whom Are they paying attention to each

other In what ways Are they talking with each other Do

they look like they enjoy being with each other How can

you tell if they are having fun

bull Talk with a parent leader or good friends and share what

you noticed and what you learned

Homework

The next time you go

out to eat attend a movie

or go to almost any activ-

ity make an effort to look

around and see how other

people are interacting It

may surprise you to see

how much dating is actu-ally going on Take the

time to learn from those

around you by paying

attention to whatrsquos work-

ing and what isnrsquot

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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28 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 3 l983137983150983150i983150983143 983137 D983137te

Tips

bull Start planning early

bull Donrsquot be afraid to bounce ideas off your friendsparents and others They can provide excellent

suggestions that you havenrsquot even thought about

bull Make sure you let your budget amount of time

available the reasons for dating and Church stan-

dards guide your planning

bull Think of what you hope will happen during the

date from beginning to end This helps you realize

what needs to be done to make the date a success

bull Pay attention to details Call ahead for event times

prices menus and what the proper dress is for

the occasion

bull Plan for emergencies For example what will you

do if you donrsquot have enough money or have car

trouble What if your date gets sick

Homework

Rather than leaving everything to chance dating acad-

emy grads understand what needs to happen and theyplan accordingly

Your homework assignment even if yoursquore years away

from dating is to practice planning an event You can

brainstorm with friends really fun ideas for a date Then

work together to think of what planning is required to

make those ideas actually happen Or you can ask your

parents to let you plan the next family outing

You might choose a place to eat or what to do Plan all

the details (event times travel time cost backup plans)

and then put your plan into action You could evencome up with a dating plan complete with backup ideas

if something goes wrong and share it in family home

evening while talking together around the dinner table

or with friends You may find that properly planning an

activity is almost as much fun as the actual date

The quality of experience yoursquoll have with others is

often determined by what happens before a date begins

Showing up on your datersquos doorstep with no plan is a

recipe for an awkward experience Nobody likes playing

the ldquoWhat do you want to dordquo game

Yoursquore better than that With a little practice you can

become a date-planning champion And young women

no fair skipping this section While most of the time young

men plan and ask for dates yoursquoll still want to have these

skills down for when itrsquos your turn

Group Date IdeasNeed ideas Check out ldsorggoideasNE8 Some

of the youth activities there could be adapted for dates

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Homework

In the Richardson Dating Academy all of our

children practiced dating invitations For example

our children might call an aunt older sibling or other

family member to practice inviting someone on a

date Or our son or daughter would receive an invita-

tion from a family member and practice responding

They learned how to deal with rejection acceptance

or even a disinterested response or two

Now itrsquos your turn Working with your parents ask

them to line up somebody in your family you can call

and practice inviting on a date Make sure you do this

more than once

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 29

You know your dating standards front and back

yoursquove watched others in dating situations and

yoursquove come up with a solid date plan

Congratulations Now you still need to invite

someone Or you need to know how to respond

when you are invited So whatrsquos the best way A

phone call Ask in person Here are some different

points to consider

Lesso983150 4 I983150viti983150983143 Others 983137983150d Bei983150983143 I983150vited

Tips

bull Be ready to give details when you invite

someone on a date Talk about what you have

planned start and end times whorsquos participat-ing and how they should dress (casual dressy

etc) Your excellent planning from academy

lesson 3 makes this part of the academy easy

bull Therersquos a time to talk by phone and a time to

ask face-to-face The more important the event

is the more personal the invitation should be

Donrsquot be afraid to skip technology and actually

talk with someone

bull Some events may require you to speak with

your datersquos parents first This shows respectand courtesy

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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30 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 5 O983150 the D983137te

It would be impossible for any dating academy to cover

every little thing to consider or plan for in dating So much

depends on good judgment communication with your par-

ents and listening to the Spirit

Still here are a few key points you might want to brush

up on before putting your date plan into action

Tips

bull Develop a ldquoyou firstrdquo attitude This means you always

think of your date first Is he or she having fun Is he or

she comfortable

bull Make sure you dress appropriately for the occasion

The way you dress usually communicates how you feelabout others and about the event Know the difference

between casual (but never sloppy) semiformal and

formal and when it would be appropriate to dress in

those ways

bull Show common courtesy by opening doors saying

thank you talking less about yourself and more about

your date and extending sincere compliments

bull Learn how to navigate restaurants Know how to make

a reservation get a table calculate a service tip and

pay the bill

Homework

Once again the best way to learn any good skill is by practic-

ing it Our youth enjoyed role-playing different situations

to think about how to act most appropriately We

also loved going out to eat as part of the dating acad-

emy experience Our children learned how to act in

a restaurant order a meal calculate the tip and paythe bill by actually doing it when they were with us

Look for opportunities to practice skills you should use on a

date For example the next time you and your family go some-

where ask your parents to let you purchase the tickets order

the meal or calculate the tip Treat your family or friends with

the same respect and courtesy that you should show others on a

date Open doors for your family be the first to say ldquothank yourdquo

and pay attention so you are part of the conversation

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 31

Lesso983150 6 The Doorste983152

NOTES

1 Thomas S Monson ldquoPreparation BringsBlessingsrdquo Ensign May 2010 64

2 Russell M Nelson ldquoCelestial Marriagerdquo Ensign Nov 2008 93

3 Jeffrey R Holland ldquoWe Are All Enlistedrdquo Ensign Nov 2011 45

4 ldquoMessage to the Youth from The First Presi-dencyrdquo For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

5 John Bytheway ldquoWhat Do Kisses Meanrdquo New Era Oct 2004 38ndash41

Last but not least dating

academy graduates know how

to conclude a date on the right

note Nothing sours a great date

more than a bad ending

Herersquos how you can finish a

date with success

Tips

bull Express gratitude Be sincere

and to the point If there was something you especially

liked tell your date what

it was

bull Therersquos no reason for drag-

ging things on at this point

Yoursquove already spent plenty

of time together Avoid the

ldquodoorstep shufflerdquo When

people arenrsquot sure what to

say they tend to shuffle backand forth or move their feet

in place If you find yourself

ldquoshufflingrdquo in place itrsquos a

pretty good signal that you

need to say good-bye

bull Know and follow the

Churchrsquos counsel on kissing

and physical intimacy (You

might also want to read John

Bythewayrsquos article ldquoWhat Do

Kisses Meanrdquo5 at ldsorggo

kissesNE8)

Homework

Yes herersquos another opportunity for practicing Our family has spent several family

home evenings role-playing doorstep good-byes Itrsquos been both helpful and fun to

watch an older sibling coach the younger sibling with dorsquos and donrsquots

Most memorable was an older sister showing how she could turn a hug into a

handshake with the grace of a princess and the speed of a ninja You too can get

together with family members and role-play different scenarios that might happen on

a doorstep We guarantee itrsquoll be an academy night yoursquoll all remember

Gr983137du983137tio983150

If yoursquove studied all the

material worked on the tips done

the homework and talked through

the lessons with your parents and

family you too can become a

dating academy graduate

As you continue strengthening

these important skills yoursquoll find

support strength and power that

will bless your relationships both

now and in the future You will be

better prepared for happiness NE

Do Try This at HomeInterested in having a dating academy at

home Let your parents know therersquos an RDAarticle for them in this monthrsquos Ensign or atldsorggoRDA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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32 N e w E r a

S U N DA Y L E S S

O N S

This Monthrsquos Topic

Ma r r iage a nd

Fa m i l y

MARRIAGE IS WORTH ITldquoIt is so rewarding to bemarried Marriage is wonder-ful In time you begin to thinkalike and have the same ideasand impressions You havetimes when you are extremelyhappy times of testing andtimes of trial but the Lordguides you through all ofthose growth experiencestogetherrdquo

Elder Richard G Scott of the

Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo

Ensign May 2011 96

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 33

We love being marr ied and he

rersquos why

By Ben and Rachel Nielsen

Letrsquos face it girls (and boys) itrsquos nice to know that someone loves you

And when yoursquore married you have chances to share and receive love every

day When I was talking to my parents about the possibility of marrying

Ben my dad said ldquoWhomever you choose to marry I want him to fre-

quently and sincerely express his love for you like Elder Richard G Scott did

for his wiferdquo3 I listened to Dad

I decided to marry Ben and he has always made an effort to express

his love to me in small and big ways During my senior year of college I

worked for months to prepare apply and interview for a prestigious intern-ship And when I finally heard that I got the job I came home and saw a

vase full of flowers from my husband He knew how hard I had worked and

how much the internship meant to me At other times hersquoll hide my favorite

drink and a love note in the fridge before he heads out for a weekend Scout

camp And every day hersquoll do the dishes and make me laugh Ben is great at

expressing his love for me and that brings both of us great joy

During my mission in Brazil I grew to love soccer One thing that I lovemost about this sport is having teammates and learning how to work together

with my team Rachel is a fantastic teammate She helps me achieve my

goals joins me in making important decisions and is there for me when I

have trouble

When we were sealed in the temple we promised to ldquohelp one another as

equal partnersrdquo2 Rachel and I strive to support each other in everything we

do and itrsquos great to know that I always have a reliable teammate

After our first date we both

knew we wanted to go

on a second date Ben

wanted to go on

another date because Rachel was

friendly and fun to talk to Rachel

wanted to go on another date

because Ben was a gentleman

and was still smiling after all of

his well-laid plans fell through

After the second date plus manymore dates and prayers after

that we fell in love and decided

to get married in the Sacramento

California Temple

The wedding day was abso-

lutely perfect and we have loved

being married ever since The

world may see marriage differ-

ently but we know that ldquono other

relationship of any kind canbring as much joy generate as

much good or produce as much

personal refinementrdquo1 Marriage

is awesome and herersquos why

FROM BEN A T e a m m a t e

FROM RACHEL

E x p r e s s i o n s o f L o v e

WHY MARRIAGE IS

A w e s o m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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34 N e w E r a

JOIN THE CONVERSATION

Things to Ponder for Sunday

bull What qualities and attitudes make for the strongest

and happiest marriages and families

bull What are you doing now that will help your future

marriage and family stay strong and happy

Things You Might Do

bull Share with some friends your goal of marrying and

having a family and tell them why

bull In church share why you are looking forward

to marriage and family and how you are pre-

paring for them

serving in the Church and inviting others to come unto

Christ As we work together to build the kingdom of God

we grow closer our love deepens and life is more fulfilling

Dating Rachel is so much fun In fact we make surethat we still frequently go on dates even as a married

couple After we first met we found that we enjoy many

of the same activities walking through parks attending

plays watching sporting events eating new and different

food listening to music and so much more I loved doing

these things before I met Rachel but theyrsquore even more

fun now that we get to share them together When yoursquore

married you have someone to enjoy life withmdashand that

makes life awesome

Before I met Ben I was nearing the age of missionary

service and had seriously considered serving a full-time

mission But then Ben entered my life and I knew that

Heavenly Father had a different plan for me

When Ben and I got engaged relatives who knew

about my thoughts to serve a mission asked me about my

choice and I would tell them ldquoI decided that I wanted topick my own missionary companionmdashand stay with him

for eternityrdquo

When yoursquore married you and your spouse have the

chance to participate in the work of salvation together

Ben and I have found great joy in building a Christ-

centered home studying and living the gospel together

Despite what the world may say marriage is awesome

and is worth making a priority When yoursquore married you

have a teammate you give and receive love you enjoy life

more fully and you have someone to build the kingdom

of God with All of that brings us great joy and because

we were sealed in the temple we can have this joy forever

If we keep our covenants we will be together for eternityand receive the crowning blessings of the priesthood We

ldquohave found in marriage the richest fulfillment of human

existencerdquo 4 NE

Ben and Rachel Nielsen live in Utah USA

NOTES

1 L Whitney Clayton ldquoMarriage Watch and Learnrdquo Ensign May 2013 83 2 ldquoThe Family A Proclamation to the Worldrdquo Ensign Nov 2010 129 3 See Richard G Scott ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo Ensign May

2011 96 4 James E Faust ldquoEnriching Your Marriagerdquo Ensign Apr 2007 6

FROM BEN M o r e E n jo y m e n t

FROM RACHEL A n E t e r n a l M is s i o n a r y C o m p a n io n

TAKE IT FROM US

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Your family can help unite the family of GodYou can all share the gospel in natural and pleasant ways

P H O T O I L L U S T R A T I O N B Y D A V I D S T O K E R

M O R M O N A D

(See M Russell Ballard ldquoPut Your Trust in the Lordrdquo Ensign Nov 2013 43)

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36 N e w E r a

By Alex Larsen

I always knew I wanted to be a mother but when I was grow-

ing up it wasnrsquot always on my mind When my fianceacute and I

were engaged one day I was talking with one of my college

professorsmdasha woman I greatly admiredmdashabout my engage-

ment She said something that brought my life choices into sharp

focus ldquoYou are wasting your talentrdquo she told me as she shook

her head She went on to say that someone as smart as I was

should not get married young She assumed I would have chil-

dren in my future and would be ldquothrowing awayrdquo my education

and chances of a stellar career on my future motherhood I could

tell by the way she looked at me that she thought I was making

a terrible and naiumlve mistake

Itrsquos been several years since that conversation and my hus-

band and I have two little girls Kate is three years old and is

my little sweetheart She moves through life at a leisurely pace

savoring all of the little details she notices Annabel is one yearold with bright blue eyes and a head of curls Shersquos exuberant

and determined Though I didnrsquot change my mind because of

what my professor said our discussion has stayed with me In

one way my professorrsquos predictions were correct I do not have

a prestigious working career But my professor got the most

important point wrong because I have wasted nothing

g i v i n

g u p e v e r y

t hi n g

but wh a t

I

g a i n ed

w as w o r t h so much m o r e

T h e wor l d t o l d me

I w ould

b e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 37

their spirits growing and developing I remember

the first time Kate pointed to a picture of the Savior and

said ldquoJesusrdquo I knew then that what I was doing was eter-

nally significant in the lives of my children

The world often tells us that lifersquos rewards come in

the form of status money or grand accomplishments

but I know therersquos great satisfaction even in the small

acts of changing diapers or wiping sticky fingers Every

little thing I do as a mother is part of helping to build the

kingdom of God by nurturing His children I always knew

I wanted children but it was not until I held my first baby

in my arms that I began to realize how much my heart

was capable of loving

The love I have for my daughters has helped me bet-

ter understand how much my Heavenly Father loves all

of His children When speaking of little children Jesustaught that ldquoof such is the kingdom of heavenrdquo (Matthew

1914) More than anything motherhood has helped me

to grow as a daughter of God because now I know what

a daughter of God looks like from the eyes of a parent

The world makes us think that a woman loses herself in

motherhoodmdashshe loses her body her free time and her

career But I have found myself in motherhood I feel

more beautiful and more valuable than ever before NE

Alex Larsen lives in California USA

I love the opportunity to stay home and care for my

young children because these are the most formative

years of their lives I have the opportunity to create a rich

home environment for my girls by reading and discussing

things with them as part of our everyday life Kate will

often astound me by remembering and commenting on

something wersquod read in a book several weeks before and

Annabel learns a new skill almost every day But as fun

and important as it is to watch them learn new

information and skills I feel the

most satisfied when I see

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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38 N e w E r a

One o f t h e g r e a t e s t ad v enture s o f y o u r l i f e w i l l b e y our rol e a n d c a l l i n g a s a f a t her

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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ROcksROcksROcks

NOTE

1 See Thomas S Monson ldquoWelcome to Conferencerdquo Ensign Nov 2012 4ndash5

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 39

DA D D A DD AD

By Chris Deaver

W

hen I was younger I loved spending time

with my dad He always knew the bestgames to play the best stories to tell at night

and the most interesting sports to try It was

like he was born to be a great dad

Fast-forward my life to when I married my sweetheart

Julia and then even further to the moment that our first

child Daniel was born I was filled with a rush of emo-

tions I was happy shocked amazed and a little scared

I felt totally inadequate to be a father and to have the

responsibility of teaching and being an example to my son

But I quickly realized that Irsquod been preparing all my life tobe a dad When I held my son in my arms for the first time

and looked down into his face I felt the Spirit touch my

heart and I realized that I was ready to try to be a great

dad just like my own dad was to me

When Daniel was very young he already had a great

sense of humor He learned to tell hilarious jokes that

would make my wife and me laugh He also often said

things that inspired us Shortly after hearing President

Thomas S Monson announce the change in age require-

ments for young men and young women preparingto serve missions1 we were driving in the car Daniel

announced that he would start preparing himself right

then at age six so he would have 12 years of preparation

Then he said with a smile ldquoDad can I change the song

from lsquoI Hope They Call Me on a Missionrsquo to lsquoI AM Going on

a Missionrsquordquo It was awesome

WHYbeing a

Three years after Daniel was born he was followed by his

brother Austin For me as a dad itrsquos been great to watch bothboys become best friends And Austin has been just as fun

as Daniel in his own way He enjoys building and destroying

block towers and one of his favorite activities is to fearlessly

wrestle me as if I stand no chance against his four-year-old

powers Of course I give in and let him winmdashso I guess I

reinforce his belief But itrsquos so much fun I know hersquoll be a

great wrestler but what I want most is for him to wrestle

ldquoagainst the rulers of the darkness of this worldrdquo and ldquoagainst

spiritual wickednessrdquo like it says in the scriptures (Ephesians

612) And I hope Irsquom helping to prepare him to do that We just recently had our third child a baby girl named

Faith During the delivery my wife was having some com-

plications and we were scared for our baby I gave Julia

a blessing Then she asked me to sing to her The Spirit

brought peace to both of us Soon baby Faith came safely

into the world It was a miracle and she definitely lived up

to her name Faithrsquos beautiful smile brightens my life I canrsquot

express in words how much she means to me

For any young man still wondering let me tell you You

were born to be a great dad The world may not agree butfatherhood is the best Someday yoursquoll find that your kids

inspire you too and that being a dad is the greatest adven-

ture of your life Yes itrsquos a duty and something you need to

take seriously but being a dad is unlike anything else NE

Chris Deaver lives in Florida USA

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40 N e w E r a

We always seem to be encouraged to read more

because well everyone knows that reading is a

good thing But not all books are worth reading and just

because sexual material is written about rather than pho-

tographed or video recorded doesnrsquot mean that itrsquos less

morally hazardous Making a common display of a sacred

intimacy thatrsquos intended to only be part of a marriage rela-

tionship is wrongmdashwhether in words or imagesIf something yoursquore reading contains explicit sexual

descriptions that imprint themselves on your mind and

arouse sexual feelings in the same way that looking at

pornographic images would then guess what Itrsquos pornog-

raphy Remember the counsel in For the Strength of Youth

ldquoChoose wisely when using media because whatever you

read listen to or look at has an effect on you Select only

media that uplifts yourdquo ([2011] 11) NE

T O T H E P O I N T

President Boyd K

Packer President of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoEach

of us must come to ourown personal testimony

of the Lord Jesus Christ

We then share that testi-

mony with our family and

othersrdquo1 It can sometimes

be easy to question the

depth of your testimony

I know looking at pornographic

pictures is wrong but whatabout reading books with

ldquoromanticrdquo scenes

If I donrsquot have a burning

desire to share thegospel does that mean I

donrsquot have a testimony

when you compare your-

self to people like Brigham

Young who once said ldquoI

wanted to thunder and

roar out the gospel to thenations It burned in my

bones like fire pent uprdquo2

So what if you donrsquot feel

fire in your bones

Hopefully your lack of

desire doesnrsquot come from

a lack of concern for your

fellowmen As your faith in

Jesus Christ grows so does

your love of all people a

love that is a mark of the

true followers of Christ (see

Moroni 748 John 1335)

Itrsquos likely however

that your hesitancy sim-

ply comes from fear and

anxiety about speaking toothers For many people

such feelings can be over-

whelming Even prophets

have had doubts about their

ability to speak to people

(see Exodus 410 Moses

631) They of course

had no reason to question

their testimoniesmdashand

neither should you if you

are studying the scriptures

pondering praying fasting

repenting and doing all the

other things that help bring

the Spirit into your life

If you feel you just

need a little extra cour-age to share the gos-

pel visit ldsorggo

shareNE8 for ideas NE

NOTES

1 Boyd K Packer ldquoThe Witnessrdquo Ensign May 2014 96

2 Teachings of Presidents ofthe Church Brigham Young (1997) viii

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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C O M E F O L L O W M E

Family

983152983137tter983150 of

President Boyd K PackerPresident of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

April 2014 general conference

The ultimate end

of all activity in

the Church is that

a man and his wife

and their childrencan be happy

at home

The FamilyYoursquoll be studying about the family in your Sunday classes

this month As you study and discuss family you may pon-der these questions Why do Church leaders emphasize

family so much What is the place of family in Heavenly

Fatherrsquos plan How does family help make us happy

To find some answers to these questions see the

family proclamation near the back of your Personal

Progress or Duty to God booklet or online at ldsorg

gofamilyNE8 Yoursquoll also find teachings about

family relationships in general conference talks at

conferenceldsorg

Give yourself an easy reminder to prepare for your

Sunday lessons on the family Just place these cards

in your scriptures locker or bedroom You can also

download or share them online at ldsorggocardsNE8 B A C K G R O U N D T E X T U R E

B Y I S T O C K P H O T O T H I N K S T O C K

We 983150eed We 983150eed

MOR E

983155tre983150983143the983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

RELATIONSHIPS

983153u983137lity 983153u983137lity TIME amp EFFORT INTO

TO PUT

983155re983150983143te983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4452

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4552

T H E E X T R A S M I L E

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 43

I dont like to pack so I rsquo m just wearing all my stuff

JON CLARK

W h a t m a k e s y o

u t h i n k

D a d rsquo s t a l k i n g t o

t h e

p r o p h e t

B ecaus e h e s ai d h e w as on a conf er ence cal l

RYAN STOKER

F r o m n o w o n j u s t t a k e

a p i c t u r e o f t h e t o o t h a n

d

u p l o a d i t t o m y F a c e b o o k

p a g e

a n d t h e n I rsquo l l s e n d y o u t h e

m o n e y t h r o u g h P a y P a l

RANDY GLASBERGEN

[Gasp] He he made h is bed this morning

And I didnrsquo t even ask

VAL CHADWICK BAGLEY

Who says there arenrsquo t modern m iracles

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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44 N e w E r a

ldquoMymom works

Since you donrsquot see your mom often make sure that

the time you do have together is used well You

could talk to your mom about how to do this She

wants a good relationship with you too and will

help you work on it Try asking her what she would

appreciate coming home to a clean house doing an activity

together just talking with you As you regularly do activities your mom appreciates your relationship will improve

Of course you could plan some fun activities to do together

but any meaningful time togethermdashsuch as washing the dishes

or reading the scripturesmdashcan be a great way to build your

relationship

Also plan time for communication Understanding one

another is a key ingredient in good relationships One thing

to discuss is how your momrsquos work schedule will affect your

relationship with her You can avoid misunderstandings if you

talk about your expectations as well as your momrsquosPrayer will help Families are important to Heavenly Father

so He can inspire you to know how to improve your relation-

ship with your mom Donrsquot ignore a prompting to do something

that seems small (see Alma 376) A hug and a smile for exam-

ple can make a big difference NE

Write a Note

Even if you have very

little time together you

can still express your

love to your mother

Write her thoughtful secret notes As

she reads them at work she will think

of you Do as much as you can for

her Think about her more often and

pray for her Ask the Lord to inspire

you and prompt you regarding how

you can improve your relationship Irinka E 20 Odessa Ukraine

Seek to Understand Her

Try to understand her situation

because she works for your benefit

You can begin by helping with things

at home like cleaning the house

helping your siblings and cooking

You also can share scriptures with

your mom pray together and doactivities that you like to do together

Morony M 18 Chihuahua Mexico

Have a Special Sunday

On some Sundays we

have a special lunch

or dinner with a new

dessert we talk and at

the end we sing hymns This brings

us together and helps us be betterfriends

Rebeca N 12 Satildeo Paulo Brazil

Try an Experiment

We arrange time to be together hav-

ing family home evening playing

games going to the beach having

lunch together All of this helps to

Q U E S T I O N S amp A N S W E R S

all day Howcan I improve our

relationshiprdquo

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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keep the flame of a good relationship

alive When we disagree we avoid

criticizing I know that sometimes I

ask not to do housework but this

contributes to disharmony in the

home Since I began this experiment

mdashcomplaining less lowering my

voice helping more with housework

and talking more with my mothermdash

a sweet spirit has developed in our

home and we cooperate more

Glenda C 18 Bahia Brazil

Help at Home

Do some extra chores

around the house Your

mom has been work-

ing all day If she has

less work to do when she gets home

shersquoll probably be happier and have

more time to talk and do things with

you While you are talking you canask about her day at work It will

show her that you care and it will

open doors for other topics of discus-

sion allowing you to grow closer

Heather B 18 Oregon USA

Find Something You BothLike to Do

My mumrsquos relationship with me

skyrocketed when I said ldquoI want tospend more time with you but I donrsquot

know what to do or when to do itrdquo

Playing board games happens to be

our favorite pastime So we set aside

a time together to play laugh and

make memories When you are open

with your parents eventually they

become your best companions You

UPCOMING QUESTION

ldquoMy parents just

got divorced Irsquom angry that they

have broken up our

family How doI forgive themrdquo

Send your answer and photo by

September 15 2014

Go to neweraldsorg click ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo enter your LDS Accountand then select ldquoNew Erardquo

Responses may be edited for length

or clarity

Responses are intended for help and per-

spective not as official pronouncements ofChurch doctrine

will be able to talk to them about

anything and you will be sure of an

honest answer That is the sign of a

mature relationship

Ephraim S 15 New South Wales Australia

Read Scriptures Together

Both of you could set a goal to read

together every day even just five

minutes from the Book of Mormon

or any other Church book It will

strengthen your relationship andnourish you with the word of God

so you can be ready to face each day

Remember also to pray to God and

ask for His help I know He hears you

and loves you

Laura M 19 Coacuterdoba Argentina

LEARN FROM

YOUR MOTHER

ldquoPlease look to yourfaithful mothers fora pattern to followModel yourselves

after them not after celebritieswhose standards are not the Lordrsquosstandards and whose values maynot reflect an eternal perspectiveLook to your mother Learn fromher strengths her courage andher faithfulness Listen to her She

may not be a whiz at texting shemay not even have a Facebookpage But when it comes to mat-ters of the heart and the thingsof the Lord she has a wealth ofknowledgerdquo

Elder M Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles ldquoMothers and Daughtersrdquo

Ensign May 2010 19

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46 N e w E r a

MISERABLE TOTHE END OFTHE STREET

For one family home evening my

dad wanted to take advantage

of a pause in the rainy weather

to go on a walk around the neighbor-

hood I grumbled and complained

that it was too wet and muddy to

go walking I used the excuse that

I had a ballet recital that week and

didnrsquot want to sprain an ankle but

my dad didnrsquot buy it He insisted thatit was going to be the activity for the

evening I murmured a bit more about

the unfairness and my recital but we

left on the walk anyway

As I glumly stomped outside for

the walk with my family I was deter-

mined not to smile or be happy I

succeeded in feeling miserable until

I N S T A N T M E S S A G E S

we reached the end of the street Then

we turned the corner and I saw in full

force naturersquos beauty and wonder

Before me was a gorgeous sunset

and opposite it was a rainbow arching

above our neighborhood rooftops

I immediately forgot all about being

miserable and looked around in awe

On the way home I said a prayer of

gratitude thanking God for the beautyof His creations I later thanked my

dad for choosing the activity and for

allowing us to enjoy nature for that

family home evening

Jennie H North Carolina USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 47

STANDARDS AND FRIENDS

Since Irsquove been in school Irsquove had friends who havenrsquot understood the

moral standards of our religion At first it was difficult but over time

my friends have become used to the idea of my being morally clean I

made a goal in my life to be clean and pure and itrsquos worked out well both

for me and for those who used to criticize me Over time respect peace and

joy have become a part of our loving circle of friends

Vitoacuteria M Brazil

A DIFFICULT DECISION

FORGIVINGMY FRIENDS

As the only member of the

Church in my peer group

Irsquove experienced some

instances when my friends have

offended me Sometimes they judge

and criticize my religion I feel so

alone yet Irsquom thankful I know the

standards of the Church

If my friends offend me I try to

humble myself and avoid contention

because I know contention is evil When they start discussing some mat-

ters about the Church I just testify of

my belief in the gospel

I always forgive my friends with or

without their apology Forgiving is not

just about saying ldquoApology acceptedrdquo

or ldquoItrsquos OKrdquo because forgiveness has

a deep meaning Jesus Christ atoned

for our sins so that Heavenly Father

can forgive usEven though my friends donrsquot

understand my faith now I know that

I can be Godrsquos instrument to teach

them the gospel I am helping them

and at the same time I am helping

myself to grow spiritually and prepare

to serve a mission

Joshua V Philippines

As volleyball tryouts approached for my senior year in high

school I couldnrsquot believe the thought that was running through

my head I wasnrsquot supposed to play volleyball Irsquod played vol-

leyball since seventh grademdashwhy should this year be any different

Not seeing the sense in quitting I ignored the feeling and continued

to participate in summer volleyball events After a while the feeling

came back so I decided that if I really wasnrsquot supposed to be on the

team my coach would just cut me during tryouts

Then one night at the gym I couldnrsquot focus on the game at all I felt

terrible and restless inside I came home frustrated with my team and

with myself I sat next to my mom and sister and cried I told them

how confused I was and my mom told me to pray and ask Heavenly

Father what He wanted me to do I went up to my room and began to

pray I told Heavenly Father how I felt then I asked Him to help mefeel peace if I was not supposed to continue playing volleyball I felt

His peace in my heart and knew that I needed to quit

Irsquom still not sure all the reasons why that was the right

decision but I know that itrsquos what the Lord

wanted me to do and thatrsquos a good

enough reason for me

The next morning I told my

coach and my teammates that

I wasnrsquot going to be playing

Even though it was incrediblyhard I knew I was doing

the right thing

Klaire B Arizona USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5252

WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2352

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2452

22 N e w E r a

I received my first two-wheel bicycle

when I was eight years old With

the help of my older brother and

father I began the rather scary pro-

cess of figuring out how to ride it The other kids in the neighborhood

made it look so easy and natural as

they zoomed up and down the street

on their bikes I perched on the bike

seatmdashwhich seemed to be at least

10 feet (3 m) above the groundmdashand

realized there was absolutely noth-

ing to keep me from falling over and

proving that the law of gravity was

alive and well As I tried riding I learned quickly

that if I wanted to stay balanced I had

to keep pedaling When I first sat on

the seat speed was the last thing I

wanted to add to the already daunting

equation But I very soon understood

the wisdom and the physics involved

in moving forward As long as I kept

pedaling I could stay upright and

avoid the rough concrete just waiting

to take the skin off my arms and legs

Soon I was zipping around the neigh-

borhood with my friends

Defy Gr983137vity Defy Gr983137vity

of the First Presidency as outlined

in that booklet our lives will be bal-

anced and steady We will be led

where we want to go

We need to keep moving forwardto avoid falling To do that we should

consistently and faithfully do certain

actions

bull Pray morning and night

bull Study the scriptures daily

bull Attend Church meetings and par-

take of the sacrament worthily

bull Serve those around us

bull Be worthy to attend the temple

All of these actions keep us moving

forward in the right direction

Thatrsquos why reading and being famil-

iar with the standards described in For

the Strength of Youth will help ensure

we are making choices consistent with

Godrsquos standards Living these princi-

ples and keeping the commandments

F O R T H E S T R E N G T H O F Y O U T H

By Bonnie LOscarson

Young WomenGeneral President

As you keep moving forward you can stay upright even

when outside forces try to pull you down

Just as those who keep

pedaling a bike can stay

upright despite gravityrsquos

influence those who are

guided by the Holy Spirit in

all they do can withstand

the influence of theadversary

So it is with living the gospel and

the standards in For the Strength of

Youth It takes faith to believe that if

we consistently follow the counsel

GO FORWARD WITH FAITH

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 23

invite the Holy Ghost to be our con-

stant companion Just as those who

keep pedaling a bike can stay upright

despite gravityrsquos influence those who

are guided by the Holy Spirit in allthey do can withstand the influence of

the adversary

What are the destinations you have

in mind as you pedal forward For all

young men of the Aaronic Priesthood

preparing now for a full-time mission

is important in forward growth For

all youth being prepared to go to the

temple and receive the endowment by

making and keeping sacred covenantsshould also be a primary goal

As the message from the First

Presidency at the beginning of For the

Strength of Youth says ldquoIn all that you

do stay focused on the temple In the

temple you will receive the greatest

of all the Lordrsquos blessings including

marriage for time and all eternityrdquo1

Receiving the covenant of eternal

marriage in the house of the Lord and

becoming righteous husbands wives

fathers and mothers may seem far

down the road but the time to beginpreparing is now All of these things

lead to the most glorious and grand

destination of allmdasheternal life with

our Heavenly Father

One of my favorite scriptures

sums up what we need to do in order

to keep moving toward our goals

ldquoWherefore ye must press forward

with a steadfastness in Christ hav-

ing a perfect brightness of hopeand a love of God and of all men

Wherefore if ye shall press forward

feasting upon the word of Christ and

endure to the end behold thus saith

the Father Ye shall have eternal liferdquo

(2 Nephi 3120)

Just as I learned as an eight-year-

old girl that I needed to keep pedaling

and moving forward in order to defy

gravity and keep my balance on my

bicycle it is important for all of us to

keep moving forward with faith trust-

ing in the counsel of living prophetsand a loving Heavenly Father to keep

us from falling Some of our destina-

tions are just down the road while

others will take a lifetime of faithful

living to achieve The promises of

what lies at the end of the road if we

are faithful are certain and glorious

and well worth the ride NE

NOTE

1 For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

Learn MoreSee whatrsquos next in your covenant path

at ldsorggocovenantNE8

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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24 N e w E r a

BOA R D

GA M E S

B y Da vid Chris tensen

My chance to play le f t

a lasting impact but it

wasnrsquot what Irsquod e xpected

L o s i n

g s o

q u i c k

l y w

a s b

a d e

n o u

g h

b

u t t o

m a k

e m

a t t e r s

w o r s e

t h

e o t h

e r g

u y

s s t a r t e

d t o

m a k

e

f u n

o f

m e

I

t r i e d

t o c o

n t i n

u e

p l a y i n g

e v e

n t h

o u

g h

t h e y

w e r

e b

e i n

g m

e a n

b

u t i t

w a s h

a r d t o h o

l d b

a c k m y t e

a r s

o f f r u s t

r a t i o n

U

n f o

r t u n a t e l y

o n e t e

a r t r i c k l e

d d

o w

n m y

c h e e

k b

e f o

r e I

c o u

l d w i p

e i t

a w a y M

y b

r o t h

e r

s a w i t

a n d

t e a s e

d m

e t o

o

I c o

u l d

n rsquo t

t a k e i t

a n y

m o r e

a n d

r a n t o

m y

r o o m

I g a v e m y s e l

f a q u i c k p i n

c h

t o m a k e s u r

e I w a s n rsquo

t d r e a m i n g

a n d t h e

n I v o i c e d

a t i m i d ldquo Y e

a h

s u r e rdquo I s t

i l l c o u l d

n rsquo t b e l i e

v e t h a t

m y b r o t h e

r h a d i n v

i t e d m e t o

p l a y a g a m e w i t h

t h e ldquo b i g k i

d s rdquo

A f t e r a l l

I rsquo d b e e n t o l d f o r t h

r e e

y e a r s t h a

t I w a s s t i l l

t o o y o u

n g

t o p l a y m o r e d i f fi

c u l t b o a

r d

g a m e s w i t h m y b r o

t h e r a n d

h i s f r i e n d s

A N D B R O

T H

E R S

I

felt the hot tears of anger slowly slide

down my face I wiped them away with

my hand but I could still feel the

slightly salty taste on my lips assobs of anguish began to pour out

I just wanted to hang out with my

brother Why couldnrsquot he be my

friend too

J u s t a f e w

h o u r s

b e f o

r e I h a d

s t a r e d a t

m y o

l d e r b

r o t h

e r S t e v e

i n c o

m p

l e t e s u r p

r i s e

w a i t i n

g f o r h

i m t o

t e

l l

m e t h

a t h e w

a s o n

l y

j o k i n g ldquo W

e l l d o y o

u

w a n

t t o p

l a y rdquo S t e v e

a s k e d i m p

a

t i e n t l y

I w

e n t i n t o t h e

r o o m w h

e r e t h e

o l d e r b o y s

w e r e

s e t t i n g u p

t h e b o a r d

g a m e A s t h e

g a m e s t a r t e d

w i t h

e v e r y o n e s t r a t e g i c a l l y

p l a c i n g

t h e i r g a m

e

p i e c e s

I f e l t l i k e

I w

a s d r e a

m i n g F o r

t h e fi r s t t i m

e

I f e l t e q u a l t o

m y b r o t h e r mdash

n o t l i k e I

w a s j u s t h i s

t a g a l o n g

T h e d r e a m

e n d e d q u i c k

l y h o w e v e r

T h e

g a m e w

a s t o u g h

a n d m y i n

e x p e r i e n c e

a n d l a c k

o f k n o w l e d g e

b e c

a m e

p a i n f u l l y o b v i o u s

a s t h e o t

h e r

p l a y e r s q u i c k l y

a n d

s o u n d l y d e f e a t e d

m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2852

26 N e w E r a

Le983137r983150i983150983143 the i983150s 983137983150d outs of d983137ti983150983143 c983137983150 be h983137rd Let this course tur983150 you

i983150to 983137 d983137ti983150983143 983152ro

By Matthew ORichardson

Served as Second

Counselor in theSunday SchoolGeneral Presidencyfrom 2009 to 2014

hile speaking to youth about how to prepare for a celestial marriage

President Thomas S Monson emphasized that ldquoproper dating is a part

of preparation for marriagerdquo 1 Have you thought much about happy

relationships Elder Russell M Nelson of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said a ldquocelestial marriage brings greater possibilities for happiness than

does any other relationshiprdquo2

When I was serving as bishop in a young single adult ward I worried about those

who approached dating with very little purpose understanding or direction This

caused me to wonder if my own children would be any different when their time came

My wife and I decided to help our children prepare for ldquoproper datingrdquo and happy rela-tionships by creating the Richardson Dating Academy or RDA as our children call it

It wasnrsquot long after we started the RDA that friends of our children wanted to partici-

pate and even become RDA graduates So how about you Are you ready to become a

dating academy graduate yourself Class is in session

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 27

Lesso983150 1 ur983152oses 983137983150d St983137983150d983137rds of D983137ti983150983143

Lesso983150 2 W983137tch 983137983150d Le983137r983150

Homework

As you know ldquodatingrdquo means different things to differ-

ent people Your first assignment is to figure out just what

a ldquodaterdquo is according to Church standards Can you explain

the purposes of dating and the specific dating standards and

guidelines set by the Church Or do you know when itrsquosmost appropriate to be involved in dating and steady dating

(having a boyfriend or girlfriend)

You can find answers to these questions in the ldquoDatingrdquo

section of For the Strength of Youth The First Presidency

reminds us why knowing and understanding these stan-

dards are so important They promise ldquoThe standards in this

Elder Jeffrey R Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles once explained that most athletic contests have ldquolines

drawn on the floor or the field within which every participant

must stay in order to competerdquo3 Success depends on how

well a competitor knows and stays within the set boundaries

Likewise itrsquos important to know the ldquodating linesrdquo or the pur-

poses and standards of dating as taught by Church leaders

One of the most com-

mon ways people learn

is by watching others

Dating is no different

In the dating academy

we spend time observ-

ing others in dating

situations In our family

we learned many point-ersmdashsome to do others

to avoidmdashby watching

dates in progress at

restaurants and other

settings Yes we went to

certain places with the

sole purpose to observe

dates for ldquoclassrdquo

booklet will help you with the important choices you are

making now and will yet make in the futurerdquo4

Now that you have a solid foundation of the stan-

dards and purposes of dating (you did do your home-

work and read that section didnrsquot you) itrsquos time to move

on to lesson 2

Tips

Here are some suggestions that will help you learn

as you observe

bull Watch but donrsquot be creepy This is about learning from

others but not stalking staring or even judging Look for

things you like and things you would like to avoid

bull Go to a variety of places and settings to observe others

Not every date is the same nor should it be Watch how thesetting affects the experience

bull Watch how people interact with each other Can you tell

who is with whom Are they paying attention to each

other In what ways Are they talking with each other Do

they look like they enjoy being with each other How can

you tell if they are having fun

bull Talk with a parent leader or good friends and share what

you noticed and what you learned

Homework

The next time you go

out to eat attend a movie

or go to almost any activ-

ity make an effort to look

around and see how other

people are interacting It

may surprise you to see

how much dating is actu-ally going on Take the

time to learn from those

around you by paying

attention to whatrsquos work-

ing and what isnrsquot

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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28 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 3 l983137983150983150i983150983143 983137 D983137te

Tips

bull Start planning early

bull Donrsquot be afraid to bounce ideas off your friendsparents and others They can provide excellent

suggestions that you havenrsquot even thought about

bull Make sure you let your budget amount of time

available the reasons for dating and Church stan-

dards guide your planning

bull Think of what you hope will happen during the

date from beginning to end This helps you realize

what needs to be done to make the date a success

bull Pay attention to details Call ahead for event times

prices menus and what the proper dress is for

the occasion

bull Plan for emergencies For example what will you

do if you donrsquot have enough money or have car

trouble What if your date gets sick

Homework

Rather than leaving everything to chance dating acad-

emy grads understand what needs to happen and theyplan accordingly

Your homework assignment even if yoursquore years away

from dating is to practice planning an event You can

brainstorm with friends really fun ideas for a date Then

work together to think of what planning is required to

make those ideas actually happen Or you can ask your

parents to let you plan the next family outing

You might choose a place to eat or what to do Plan all

the details (event times travel time cost backup plans)

and then put your plan into action You could evencome up with a dating plan complete with backup ideas

if something goes wrong and share it in family home

evening while talking together around the dinner table

or with friends You may find that properly planning an

activity is almost as much fun as the actual date

The quality of experience yoursquoll have with others is

often determined by what happens before a date begins

Showing up on your datersquos doorstep with no plan is a

recipe for an awkward experience Nobody likes playing

the ldquoWhat do you want to dordquo game

Yoursquore better than that With a little practice you can

become a date-planning champion And young women

no fair skipping this section While most of the time young

men plan and ask for dates yoursquoll still want to have these

skills down for when itrsquos your turn

Group Date IdeasNeed ideas Check out ldsorggoideasNE8 Some

of the youth activities there could be adapted for dates

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Homework

In the Richardson Dating Academy all of our

children practiced dating invitations For example

our children might call an aunt older sibling or other

family member to practice inviting someone on a

date Or our son or daughter would receive an invita-

tion from a family member and practice responding

They learned how to deal with rejection acceptance

or even a disinterested response or two

Now itrsquos your turn Working with your parents ask

them to line up somebody in your family you can call

and practice inviting on a date Make sure you do this

more than once

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 29

You know your dating standards front and back

yoursquove watched others in dating situations and

yoursquove come up with a solid date plan

Congratulations Now you still need to invite

someone Or you need to know how to respond

when you are invited So whatrsquos the best way A

phone call Ask in person Here are some different

points to consider

Lesso983150 4 I983150viti983150983143 Others 983137983150d Bei983150983143 I983150vited

Tips

bull Be ready to give details when you invite

someone on a date Talk about what you have

planned start and end times whorsquos participat-ing and how they should dress (casual dressy

etc) Your excellent planning from academy

lesson 3 makes this part of the academy easy

bull Therersquos a time to talk by phone and a time to

ask face-to-face The more important the event

is the more personal the invitation should be

Donrsquot be afraid to skip technology and actually

talk with someone

bull Some events may require you to speak with

your datersquos parents first This shows respectand courtesy

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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30 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 5 O983150 the D983137te

It would be impossible for any dating academy to cover

every little thing to consider or plan for in dating So much

depends on good judgment communication with your par-

ents and listening to the Spirit

Still here are a few key points you might want to brush

up on before putting your date plan into action

Tips

bull Develop a ldquoyou firstrdquo attitude This means you always

think of your date first Is he or she having fun Is he or

she comfortable

bull Make sure you dress appropriately for the occasion

The way you dress usually communicates how you feelabout others and about the event Know the difference

between casual (but never sloppy) semiformal and

formal and when it would be appropriate to dress in

those ways

bull Show common courtesy by opening doors saying

thank you talking less about yourself and more about

your date and extending sincere compliments

bull Learn how to navigate restaurants Know how to make

a reservation get a table calculate a service tip and

pay the bill

Homework

Once again the best way to learn any good skill is by practic-

ing it Our youth enjoyed role-playing different situations

to think about how to act most appropriately We

also loved going out to eat as part of the dating acad-

emy experience Our children learned how to act in

a restaurant order a meal calculate the tip and paythe bill by actually doing it when they were with us

Look for opportunities to practice skills you should use on a

date For example the next time you and your family go some-

where ask your parents to let you purchase the tickets order

the meal or calculate the tip Treat your family or friends with

the same respect and courtesy that you should show others on a

date Open doors for your family be the first to say ldquothank yourdquo

and pay attention so you are part of the conversation

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 31

Lesso983150 6 The Doorste983152

NOTES

1 Thomas S Monson ldquoPreparation BringsBlessingsrdquo Ensign May 2010 64

2 Russell M Nelson ldquoCelestial Marriagerdquo Ensign Nov 2008 93

3 Jeffrey R Holland ldquoWe Are All Enlistedrdquo Ensign Nov 2011 45

4 ldquoMessage to the Youth from The First Presi-dencyrdquo For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

5 John Bytheway ldquoWhat Do Kisses Meanrdquo New Era Oct 2004 38ndash41

Last but not least dating

academy graduates know how

to conclude a date on the right

note Nothing sours a great date

more than a bad ending

Herersquos how you can finish a

date with success

Tips

bull Express gratitude Be sincere

and to the point If there was something you especially

liked tell your date what

it was

bull Therersquos no reason for drag-

ging things on at this point

Yoursquove already spent plenty

of time together Avoid the

ldquodoorstep shufflerdquo When

people arenrsquot sure what to

say they tend to shuffle backand forth or move their feet

in place If you find yourself

ldquoshufflingrdquo in place itrsquos a

pretty good signal that you

need to say good-bye

bull Know and follow the

Churchrsquos counsel on kissing

and physical intimacy (You

might also want to read John

Bythewayrsquos article ldquoWhat Do

Kisses Meanrdquo5 at ldsorggo

kissesNE8)

Homework

Yes herersquos another opportunity for practicing Our family has spent several family

home evenings role-playing doorstep good-byes Itrsquos been both helpful and fun to

watch an older sibling coach the younger sibling with dorsquos and donrsquots

Most memorable was an older sister showing how she could turn a hug into a

handshake with the grace of a princess and the speed of a ninja You too can get

together with family members and role-play different scenarios that might happen on

a doorstep We guarantee itrsquoll be an academy night yoursquoll all remember

Gr983137du983137tio983150

If yoursquove studied all the

material worked on the tips done

the homework and talked through

the lessons with your parents and

family you too can become a

dating academy graduate

As you continue strengthening

these important skills yoursquoll find

support strength and power that

will bless your relationships both

now and in the future You will be

better prepared for happiness NE

Do Try This at HomeInterested in having a dating academy at

home Let your parents know therersquos an RDAarticle for them in this monthrsquos Ensign or atldsorggoRDA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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32 N e w E r a

S U N DA Y L E S S

O N S

This Monthrsquos Topic

Ma r r iage a nd

Fa m i l y

MARRIAGE IS WORTH ITldquoIt is so rewarding to bemarried Marriage is wonder-ful In time you begin to thinkalike and have the same ideasand impressions You havetimes when you are extremelyhappy times of testing andtimes of trial but the Lordguides you through all ofthose growth experiencestogetherrdquo

Elder Richard G Scott of the

Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo

Ensign May 2011 96

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 33

We love being marr ied and he

rersquos why

By Ben and Rachel Nielsen

Letrsquos face it girls (and boys) itrsquos nice to know that someone loves you

And when yoursquore married you have chances to share and receive love every

day When I was talking to my parents about the possibility of marrying

Ben my dad said ldquoWhomever you choose to marry I want him to fre-

quently and sincerely express his love for you like Elder Richard G Scott did

for his wiferdquo3 I listened to Dad

I decided to marry Ben and he has always made an effort to express

his love to me in small and big ways During my senior year of college I

worked for months to prepare apply and interview for a prestigious intern-ship And when I finally heard that I got the job I came home and saw a

vase full of flowers from my husband He knew how hard I had worked and

how much the internship meant to me At other times hersquoll hide my favorite

drink and a love note in the fridge before he heads out for a weekend Scout

camp And every day hersquoll do the dishes and make me laugh Ben is great at

expressing his love for me and that brings both of us great joy

During my mission in Brazil I grew to love soccer One thing that I lovemost about this sport is having teammates and learning how to work together

with my team Rachel is a fantastic teammate She helps me achieve my

goals joins me in making important decisions and is there for me when I

have trouble

When we were sealed in the temple we promised to ldquohelp one another as

equal partnersrdquo2 Rachel and I strive to support each other in everything we

do and itrsquos great to know that I always have a reliable teammate

After our first date we both

knew we wanted to go

on a second date Ben

wanted to go on

another date because Rachel was

friendly and fun to talk to Rachel

wanted to go on another date

because Ben was a gentleman

and was still smiling after all of

his well-laid plans fell through

After the second date plus manymore dates and prayers after

that we fell in love and decided

to get married in the Sacramento

California Temple

The wedding day was abso-

lutely perfect and we have loved

being married ever since The

world may see marriage differ-

ently but we know that ldquono other

relationship of any kind canbring as much joy generate as

much good or produce as much

personal refinementrdquo1 Marriage

is awesome and herersquos why

FROM BEN A T e a m m a t e

FROM RACHEL

E x p r e s s i o n s o f L o v e

WHY MARRIAGE IS

A w e s o m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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34 N e w E r a

JOIN THE CONVERSATION

Things to Ponder for Sunday

bull What qualities and attitudes make for the strongest

and happiest marriages and families

bull What are you doing now that will help your future

marriage and family stay strong and happy

Things You Might Do

bull Share with some friends your goal of marrying and

having a family and tell them why

bull In church share why you are looking forward

to marriage and family and how you are pre-

paring for them

serving in the Church and inviting others to come unto

Christ As we work together to build the kingdom of God

we grow closer our love deepens and life is more fulfilling

Dating Rachel is so much fun In fact we make surethat we still frequently go on dates even as a married

couple After we first met we found that we enjoy many

of the same activities walking through parks attending

plays watching sporting events eating new and different

food listening to music and so much more I loved doing

these things before I met Rachel but theyrsquore even more

fun now that we get to share them together When yoursquore

married you have someone to enjoy life withmdashand that

makes life awesome

Before I met Ben I was nearing the age of missionary

service and had seriously considered serving a full-time

mission But then Ben entered my life and I knew that

Heavenly Father had a different plan for me

When Ben and I got engaged relatives who knew

about my thoughts to serve a mission asked me about my

choice and I would tell them ldquoI decided that I wanted topick my own missionary companionmdashand stay with him

for eternityrdquo

When yoursquore married you and your spouse have the

chance to participate in the work of salvation together

Ben and I have found great joy in building a Christ-

centered home studying and living the gospel together

Despite what the world may say marriage is awesome

and is worth making a priority When yoursquore married you

have a teammate you give and receive love you enjoy life

more fully and you have someone to build the kingdom

of God with All of that brings us great joy and because

we were sealed in the temple we can have this joy forever

If we keep our covenants we will be together for eternityand receive the crowning blessings of the priesthood We

ldquohave found in marriage the richest fulfillment of human

existencerdquo 4 NE

Ben and Rachel Nielsen live in Utah USA

NOTES

1 L Whitney Clayton ldquoMarriage Watch and Learnrdquo Ensign May 2013 83 2 ldquoThe Family A Proclamation to the Worldrdquo Ensign Nov 2010 129 3 See Richard G Scott ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo Ensign May

2011 96 4 James E Faust ldquoEnriching Your Marriagerdquo Ensign Apr 2007 6

FROM BEN M o r e E n jo y m e n t

FROM RACHEL A n E t e r n a l M is s i o n a r y C o m p a n io n

TAKE IT FROM US

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Your family can help unite the family of GodYou can all share the gospel in natural and pleasant ways

P H O T O I L L U S T R A T I O N B Y D A V I D S T O K E R

M O R M O N A D

(See M Russell Ballard ldquoPut Your Trust in the Lordrdquo Ensign Nov 2013 43)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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36 N e w E r a

By Alex Larsen

I always knew I wanted to be a mother but when I was grow-

ing up it wasnrsquot always on my mind When my fianceacute and I

were engaged one day I was talking with one of my college

professorsmdasha woman I greatly admiredmdashabout my engage-

ment She said something that brought my life choices into sharp

focus ldquoYou are wasting your talentrdquo she told me as she shook

her head She went on to say that someone as smart as I was

should not get married young She assumed I would have chil-

dren in my future and would be ldquothrowing awayrdquo my education

and chances of a stellar career on my future motherhood I could

tell by the way she looked at me that she thought I was making

a terrible and naiumlve mistake

Itrsquos been several years since that conversation and my hus-

band and I have two little girls Kate is three years old and is

my little sweetheart She moves through life at a leisurely pace

savoring all of the little details she notices Annabel is one yearold with bright blue eyes and a head of curls Shersquos exuberant

and determined Though I didnrsquot change my mind because of

what my professor said our discussion has stayed with me In

one way my professorrsquos predictions were correct I do not have

a prestigious working career But my professor got the most

important point wrong because I have wasted nothing

g i v i n

g u p e v e r y

t hi n g

but wh a t

I

g a i n ed

w as w o r t h so much m o r e

T h e wor l d t o l d me

I w ould

b e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 37

their spirits growing and developing I remember

the first time Kate pointed to a picture of the Savior and

said ldquoJesusrdquo I knew then that what I was doing was eter-

nally significant in the lives of my children

The world often tells us that lifersquos rewards come in

the form of status money or grand accomplishments

but I know therersquos great satisfaction even in the small

acts of changing diapers or wiping sticky fingers Every

little thing I do as a mother is part of helping to build the

kingdom of God by nurturing His children I always knew

I wanted children but it was not until I held my first baby

in my arms that I began to realize how much my heart

was capable of loving

The love I have for my daughters has helped me bet-

ter understand how much my Heavenly Father loves all

of His children When speaking of little children Jesustaught that ldquoof such is the kingdom of heavenrdquo (Matthew

1914) More than anything motherhood has helped me

to grow as a daughter of God because now I know what

a daughter of God looks like from the eyes of a parent

The world makes us think that a woman loses herself in

motherhoodmdashshe loses her body her free time and her

career But I have found myself in motherhood I feel

more beautiful and more valuable than ever before NE

Alex Larsen lives in California USA

I love the opportunity to stay home and care for my

young children because these are the most formative

years of their lives I have the opportunity to create a rich

home environment for my girls by reading and discussing

things with them as part of our everyday life Kate will

often astound me by remembering and commenting on

something wersquod read in a book several weeks before and

Annabel learns a new skill almost every day But as fun

and important as it is to watch them learn new

information and skills I feel the

most satisfied when I see

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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38 N e w E r a

One o f t h e g r e a t e s t ad v enture s o f y o u r l i f e w i l l b e y our rol e a n d c a l l i n g a s a f a t her

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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ROcksROcksROcks

NOTE

1 See Thomas S Monson ldquoWelcome to Conferencerdquo Ensign Nov 2012 4ndash5

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 39

DA D D A DD AD

By Chris Deaver

W

hen I was younger I loved spending time

with my dad He always knew the bestgames to play the best stories to tell at night

and the most interesting sports to try It was

like he was born to be a great dad

Fast-forward my life to when I married my sweetheart

Julia and then even further to the moment that our first

child Daniel was born I was filled with a rush of emo-

tions I was happy shocked amazed and a little scared

I felt totally inadequate to be a father and to have the

responsibility of teaching and being an example to my son

But I quickly realized that Irsquod been preparing all my life tobe a dad When I held my son in my arms for the first time

and looked down into his face I felt the Spirit touch my

heart and I realized that I was ready to try to be a great

dad just like my own dad was to me

When Daniel was very young he already had a great

sense of humor He learned to tell hilarious jokes that

would make my wife and me laugh He also often said

things that inspired us Shortly after hearing President

Thomas S Monson announce the change in age require-

ments for young men and young women preparingto serve missions1 we were driving in the car Daniel

announced that he would start preparing himself right

then at age six so he would have 12 years of preparation

Then he said with a smile ldquoDad can I change the song

from lsquoI Hope They Call Me on a Missionrsquo to lsquoI AM Going on

a Missionrsquordquo It was awesome

WHYbeing a

Three years after Daniel was born he was followed by his

brother Austin For me as a dad itrsquos been great to watch bothboys become best friends And Austin has been just as fun

as Daniel in his own way He enjoys building and destroying

block towers and one of his favorite activities is to fearlessly

wrestle me as if I stand no chance against his four-year-old

powers Of course I give in and let him winmdashso I guess I

reinforce his belief But itrsquos so much fun I know hersquoll be a

great wrestler but what I want most is for him to wrestle

ldquoagainst the rulers of the darkness of this worldrdquo and ldquoagainst

spiritual wickednessrdquo like it says in the scriptures (Ephesians

612) And I hope Irsquom helping to prepare him to do that We just recently had our third child a baby girl named

Faith During the delivery my wife was having some com-

plications and we were scared for our baby I gave Julia

a blessing Then she asked me to sing to her The Spirit

brought peace to both of us Soon baby Faith came safely

into the world It was a miracle and she definitely lived up

to her name Faithrsquos beautiful smile brightens my life I canrsquot

express in words how much she means to me

For any young man still wondering let me tell you You

were born to be a great dad The world may not agree butfatherhood is the best Someday yoursquoll find that your kids

inspire you too and that being a dad is the greatest adven-

ture of your life Yes itrsquos a duty and something you need to

take seriously but being a dad is unlike anything else NE

Chris Deaver lives in Florida USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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40 N e w E r a

We always seem to be encouraged to read more

because well everyone knows that reading is a

good thing But not all books are worth reading and just

because sexual material is written about rather than pho-

tographed or video recorded doesnrsquot mean that itrsquos less

morally hazardous Making a common display of a sacred

intimacy thatrsquos intended to only be part of a marriage rela-

tionship is wrongmdashwhether in words or imagesIf something yoursquore reading contains explicit sexual

descriptions that imprint themselves on your mind and

arouse sexual feelings in the same way that looking at

pornographic images would then guess what Itrsquos pornog-

raphy Remember the counsel in For the Strength of Youth

ldquoChoose wisely when using media because whatever you

read listen to or look at has an effect on you Select only

media that uplifts yourdquo ([2011] 11) NE

T O T H E P O I N T

President Boyd K

Packer President of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoEach

of us must come to ourown personal testimony

of the Lord Jesus Christ

We then share that testi-

mony with our family and

othersrdquo1 It can sometimes

be easy to question the

depth of your testimony

I know looking at pornographic

pictures is wrong but whatabout reading books with

ldquoromanticrdquo scenes

If I donrsquot have a burning

desire to share thegospel does that mean I

donrsquot have a testimony

when you compare your-

self to people like Brigham

Young who once said ldquoI

wanted to thunder and

roar out the gospel to thenations It burned in my

bones like fire pent uprdquo2

So what if you donrsquot feel

fire in your bones

Hopefully your lack of

desire doesnrsquot come from

a lack of concern for your

fellowmen As your faith in

Jesus Christ grows so does

your love of all people a

love that is a mark of the

true followers of Christ (see

Moroni 748 John 1335)

Itrsquos likely however

that your hesitancy sim-

ply comes from fear and

anxiety about speaking toothers For many people

such feelings can be over-

whelming Even prophets

have had doubts about their

ability to speak to people

(see Exodus 410 Moses

631) They of course

had no reason to question

their testimoniesmdashand

neither should you if you

are studying the scriptures

pondering praying fasting

repenting and doing all the

other things that help bring

the Spirit into your life

If you feel you just

need a little extra cour-age to share the gos-

pel visit ldsorggo

shareNE8 for ideas NE

NOTES

1 Boyd K Packer ldquoThe Witnessrdquo Ensign May 2014 96

2 Teachings of Presidents ofthe Church Brigham Young (1997) viii

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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C O M E F O L L O W M E

Family

983152983137tter983150 of

President Boyd K PackerPresident of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

April 2014 general conference

The ultimate end

of all activity in

the Church is that

a man and his wife

and their childrencan be happy

at home

The FamilyYoursquoll be studying about the family in your Sunday classes

this month As you study and discuss family you may pon-der these questions Why do Church leaders emphasize

family so much What is the place of family in Heavenly

Fatherrsquos plan How does family help make us happy

To find some answers to these questions see the

family proclamation near the back of your Personal

Progress or Duty to God booklet or online at ldsorg

gofamilyNE8 Yoursquoll also find teachings about

family relationships in general conference talks at

conferenceldsorg

Give yourself an easy reminder to prepare for your

Sunday lessons on the family Just place these cards

in your scriptures locker or bedroom You can also

download or share them online at ldsorggocardsNE8 B A C K G R O U N D T E X T U R E

B Y I S T O C K P H O T O T H I N K S T O C K

We 983150eed We 983150eed

MOR E

983155tre983150983143the983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

RELATIONSHIPS

983153u983137lity 983153u983137lity TIME amp EFFORT INTO

TO PUT

983155re983150983143te983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4452

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4552

T H E E X T R A S M I L E

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 43

I dont like to pack so I rsquo m just wearing all my stuff

JON CLARK

W h a t m a k e s y o

u t h i n k

D a d rsquo s t a l k i n g t o

t h e

p r o p h e t

B ecaus e h e s ai d h e w as on a conf er ence cal l

RYAN STOKER

F r o m n o w o n j u s t t a k e

a p i c t u r e o f t h e t o o t h a n

d

u p l o a d i t t o m y F a c e b o o k

p a g e

a n d t h e n I rsquo l l s e n d y o u t h e

m o n e y t h r o u g h P a y P a l

RANDY GLASBERGEN

[Gasp] He he made h is bed this morning

And I didnrsquo t even ask

VAL CHADWICK BAGLEY

Who says there arenrsquo t modern m iracles

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4652

44 N e w E r a

ldquoMymom works

Since you donrsquot see your mom often make sure that

the time you do have together is used well You

could talk to your mom about how to do this She

wants a good relationship with you too and will

help you work on it Try asking her what she would

appreciate coming home to a clean house doing an activity

together just talking with you As you regularly do activities your mom appreciates your relationship will improve

Of course you could plan some fun activities to do together

but any meaningful time togethermdashsuch as washing the dishes

or reading the scripturesmdashcan be a great way to build your

relationship

Also plan time for communication Understanding one

another is a key ingredient in good relationships One thing

to discuss is how your momrsquos work schedule will affect your

relationship with her You can avoid misunderstandings if you

talk about your expectations as well as your momrsquosPrayer will help Families are important to Heavenly Father

so He can inspire you to know how to improve your relation-

ship with your mom Donrsquot ignore a prompting to do something

that seems small (see Alma 376) A hug and a smile for exam-

ple can make a big difference NE

Write a Note

Even if you have very

little time together you

can still express your

love to your mother

Write her thoughtful secret notes As

she reads them at work she will think

of you Do as much as you can for

her Think about her more often and

pray for her Ask the Lord to inspire

you and prompt you regarding how

you can improve your relationship Irinka E 20 Odessa Ukraine

Seek to Understand Her

Try to understand her situation

because she works for your benefit

You can begin by helping with things

at home like cleaning the house

helping your siblings and cooking

You also can share scriptures with

your mom pray together and doactivities that you like to do together

Morony M 18 Chihuahua Mexico

Have a Special Sunday

On some Sundays we

have a special lunch

or dinner with a new

dessert we talk and at

the end we sing hymns This brings

us together and helps us be betterfriends

Rebeca N 12 Satildeo Paulo Brazil

Try an Experiment

We arrange time to be together hav-

ing family home evening playing

games going to the beach having

lunch together All of this helps to

Q U E S T I O N S amp A N S W E R S

all day Howcan I improve our

relationshiprdquo

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4752

keep the flame of a good relationship

alive When we disagree we avoid

criticizing I know that sometimes I

ask not to do housework but this

contributes to disharmony in the

home Since I began this experiment

mdashcomplaining less lowering my

voice helping more with housework

and talking more with my mothermdash

a sweet spirit has developed in our

home and we cooperate more

Glenda C 18 Bahia Brazil

Help at Home

Do some extra chores

around the house Your

mom has been work-

ing all day If she has

less work to do when she gets home

shersquoll probably be happier and have

more time to talk and do things with

you While you are talking you canask about her day at work It will

show her that you care and it will

open doors for other topics of discus-

sion allowing you to grow closer

Heather B 18 Oregon USA

Find Something You BothLike to Do

My mumrsquos relationship with me

skyrocketed when I said ldquoI want tospend more time with you but I donrsquot

know what to do or when to do itrdquo

Playing board games happens to be

our favorite pastime So we set aside

a time together to play laugh and

make memories When you are open

with your parents eventually they

become your best companions You

UPCOMING QUESTION

ldquoMy parents just

got divorced Irsquom angry that they

have broken up our

family How doI forgive themrdquo

Send your answer and photo by

September 15 2014

Go to neweraldsorg click ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo enter your LDS Accountand then select ldquoNew Erardquo

Responses may be edited for length

or clarity

Responses are intended for help and per-

spective not as official pronouncements ofChurch doctrine

will be able to talk to them about

anything and you will be sure of an

honest answer That is the sign of a

mature relationship

Ephraim S 15 New South Wales Australia

Read Scriptures Together

Both of you could set a goal to read

together every day even just five

minutes from the Book of Mormon

or any other Church book It will

strengthen your relationship andnourish you with the word of God

so you can be ready to face each day

Remember also to pray to God and

ask for His help I know He hears you

and loves you

Laura M 19 Coacuterdoba Argentina

LEARN FROM

YOUR MOTHER

ldquoPlease look to yourfaithful mothers fora pattern to followModel yourselves

after them not after celebritieswhose standards are not the Lordrsquosstandards and whose values maynot reflect an eternal perspectiveLook to your mother Learn fromher strengths her courage andher faithfulness Listen to her She

may not be a whiz at texting shemay not even have a Facebookpage But when it comes to mat-ters of the heart and the thingsof the Lord she has a wealth ofknowledgerdquo

Elder M Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles ldquoMothers and Daughtersrdquo

Ensign May 2010 19

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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46 N e w E r a

MISERABLE TOTHE END OFTHE STREET

For one family home evening my

dad wanted to take advantage

of a pause in the rainy weather

to go on a walk around the neighbor-

hood I grumbled and complained

that it was too wet and muddy to

go walking I used the excuse that

I had a ballet recital that week and

didnrsquot want to sprain an ankle but

my dad didnrsquot buy it He insisted thatit was going to be the activity for the

evening I murmured a bit more about

the unfairness and my recital but we

left on the walk anyway

As I glumly stomped outside for

the walk with my family I was deter-

mined not to smile or be happy I

succeeded in feeling miserable until

I N S T A N T M E S S A G E S

we reached the end of the street Then

we turned the corner and I saw in full

force naturersquos beauty and wonder

Before me was a gorgeous sunset

and opposite it was a rainbow arching

above our neighborhood rooftops

I immediately forgot all about being

miserable and looked around in awe

On the way home I said a prayer of

gratitude thanking God for the beautyof His creations I later thanked my

dad for choosing the activity and for

allowing us to enjoy nature for that

family home evening

Jennie H North Carolina USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4952

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 47

STANDARDS AND FRIENDS

Since Irsquove been in school Irsquove had friends who havenrsquot understood the

moral standards of our religion At first it was difficult but over time

my friends have become used to the idea of my being morally clean I

made a goal in my life to be clean and pure and itrsquos worked out well both

for me and for those who used to criticize me Over time respect peace and

joy have become a part of our loving circle of friends

Vitoacuteria M Brazil

A DIFFICULT DECISION

FORGIVINGMY FRIENDS

As the only member of the

Church in my peer group

Irsquove experienced some

instances when my friends have

offended me Sometimes they judge

and criticize my religion I feel so

alone yet Irsquom thankful I know the

standards of the Church

If my friends offend me I try to

humble myself and avoid contention

because I know contention is evil When they start discussing some mat-

ters about the Church I just testify of

my belief in the gospel

I always forgive my friends with or

without their apology Forgiving is not

just about saying ldquoApology acceptedrdquo

or ldquoItrsquos OKrdquo because forgiveness has

a deep meaning Jesus Christ atoned

for our sins so that Heavenly Father

can forgive usEven though my friends donrsquot

understand my faith now I know that

I can be Godrsquos instrument to teach

them the gospel I am helping them

and at the same time I am helping

myself to grow spiritually and prepare

to serve a mission

Joshua V Philippines

As volleyball tryouts approached for my senior year in high

school I couldnrsquot believe the thought that was running through

my head I wasnrsquot supposed to play volleyball Irsquod played vol-

leyball since seventh grademdashwhy should this year be any different

Not seeing the sense in quitting I ignored the feeling and continued

to participate in summer volleyball events After a while the feeling

came back so I decided that if I really wasnrsquot supposed to be on the

team my coach would just cut me during tryouts

Then one night at the gym I couldnrsquot focus on the game at all I felt

terrible and restless inside I came home frustrated with my team and

with myself I sat next to my mom and sister and cried I told them

how confused I was and my mom told me to pray and ask Heavenly

Father what He wanted me to do I went up to my room and began to

pray I told Heavenly Father how I felt then I asked Him to help mefeel peace if I was not supposed to continue playing volleyball I felt

His peace in my heart and knew that I needed to quit

Irsquom still not sure all the reasons why that was the right

decision but I know that itrsquos what the Lord

wanted me to do and thatrsquos a good

enough reason for me

The next morning I told my

coach and my teammates that

I wasnrsquot going to be playing

Even though it was incrediblyhard I knew I was doing

the right thing

Klaire B Arizona USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5052

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5152

you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5252

WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2452

22 N e w E r a

I received my first two-wheel bicycle

when I was eight years old With

the help of my older brother and

father I began the rather scary pro-

cess of figuring out how to ride it The other kids in the neighborhood

made it look so easy and natural as

they zoomed up and down the street

on their bikes I perched on the bike

seatmdashwhich seemed to be at least

10 feet (3 m) above the groundmdashand

realized there was absolutely noth-

ing to keep me from falling over and

proving that the law of gravity was

alive and well As I tried riding I learned quickly

that if I wanted to stay balanced I had

to keep pedaling When I first sat on

the seat speed was the last thing I

wanted to add to the already daunting

equation But I very soon understood

the wisdom and the physics involved

in moving forward As long as I kept

pedaling I could stay upright and

avoid the rough concrete just waiting

to take the skin off my arms and legs

Soon I was zipping around the neigh-

borhood with my friends

Defy Gr983137vity Defy Gr983137vity

of the First Presidency as outlined

in that booklet our lives will be bal-

anced and steady We will be led

where we want to go

We need to keep moving forwardto avoid falling To do that we should

consistently and faithfully do certain

actions

bull Pray morning and night

bull Study the scriptures daily

bull Attend Church meetings and par-

take of the sacrament worthily

bull Serve those around us

bull Be worthy to attend the temple

All of these actions keep us moving

forward in the right direction

Thatrsquos why reading and being famil-

iar with the standards described in For

the Strength of Youth will help ensure

we are making choices consistent with

Godrsquos standards Living these princi-

ples and keeping the commandments

F O R T H E S T R E N G T H O F Y O U T H

By Bonnie LOscarson

Young WomenGeneral President

As you keep moving forward you can stay upright even

when outside forces try to pull you down

Just as those who keep

pedaling a bike can stay

upright despite gravityrsquos

influence those who are

guided by the Holy Spirit in

all they do can withstand

the influence of theadversary

So it is with living the gospel and

the standards in For the Strength of

Youth It takes faith to believe that if

we consistently follow the counsel

GO FORWARD WITH FAITH

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2552

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 23

invite the Holy Ghost to be our con-

stant companion Just as those who

keep pedaling a bike can stay upright

despite gravityrsquos influence those who

are guided by the Holy Spirit in allthey do can withstand the influence of

the adversary

What are the destinations you have

in mind as you pedal forward For all

young men of the Aaronic Priesthood

preparing now for a full-time mission

is important in forward growth For

all youth being prepared to go to the

temple and receive the endowment by

making and keeping sacred covenantsshould also be a primary goal

As the message from the First

Presidency at the beginning of For the

Strength of Youth says ldquoIn all that you

do stay focused on the temple In the

temple you will receive the greatest

of all the Lordrsquos blessings including

marriage for time and all eternityrdquo1

Receiving the covenant of eternal

marriage in the house of the Lord and

becoming righteous husbands wives

fathers and mothers may seem far

down the road but the time to beginpreparing is now All of these things

lead to the most glorious and grand

destination of allmdasheternal life with

our Heavenly Father

One of my favorite scriptures

sums up what we need to do in order

to keep moving toward our goals

ldquoWherefore ye must press forward

with a steadfastness in Christ hav-

ing a perfect brightness of hopeand a love of God and of all men

Wherefore if ye shall press forward

feasting upon the word of Christ and

endure to the end behold thus saith

the Father Ye shall have eternal liferdquo

(2 Nephi 3120)

Just as I learned as an eight-year-

old girl that I needed to keep pedaling

and moving forward in order to defy

gravity and keep my balance on my

bicycle it is important for all of us to

keep moving forward with faith trust-

ing in the counsel of living prophetsand a loving Heavenly Father to keep

us from falling Some of our destina-

tions are just down the road while

others will take a lifetime of faithful

living to achieve The promises of

what lies at the end of the road if we

are faithful are certain and glorious

and well worth the ride NE

NOTE

1 For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

Learn MoreSee whatrsquos next in your covenant path

at ldsorggocovenantNE8

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2652

24 N e w E r a

BOA R D

GA M E S

B y Da vid Chris tensen

My chance to play le f t

a lasting impact but it

wasnrsquot what Irsquod e xpected

L o s i n

g s o

q u i c k

l y w

a s b

a d e

n o u

g h

b

u t t o

m a k

e m

a t t e r s

w o r s e

t h

e o t h

e r g

u y

s s t a r t e

d t o

m a k

e

f u n

o f

m e

I

t r i e d

t o c o

n t i n

u e

p l a y i n g

e v e

n t h

o u

g h

t h e y

w e r

e b

e i n

g m

e a n

b

u t i t

w a s h

a r d t o h o

l d b

a c k m y t e

a r s

o f f r u s t

r a t i o n

U

n f o

r t u n a t e l y

o n e t e

a r t r i c k l e

d d

o w

n m y

c h e e

k b

e f o

r e I

c o u

l d w i p

e i t

a w a y M

y b

r o t h

e r

s a w i t

a n d

t e a s e

d m

e t o

o

I c o

u l d

n rsquo t

t a k e i t

a n y

m o r e

a n d

r a n t o

m y

r o o m

I g a v e m y s e l

f a q u i c k p i n

c h

t o m a k e s u r

e I w a s n rsquo

t d r e a m i n g

a n d t h e

n I v o i c e d

a t i m i d ldquo Y e

a h

s u r e rdquo I s t

i l l c o u l d

n rsquo t b e l i e

v e t h a t

m y b r o t h e

r h a d i n v

i t e d m e t o

p l a y a g a m e w i t h

t h e ldquo b i g k i

d s rdquo

A f t e r a l l

I rsquo d b e e n t o l d f o r t h

r e e

y e a r s t h a

t I w a s s t i l l

t o o y o u

n g

t o p l a y m o r e d i f fi

c u l t b o a

r d

g a m e s w i t h m y b r o

t h e r a n d

h i s f r i e n d s

A N D B R O

T H

E R S

I

felt the hot tears of anger slowly slide

down my face I wiped them away with

my hand but I could still feel the

slightly salty taste on my lips assobs of anguish began to pour out

I just wanted to hang out with my

brother Why couldnrsquot he be my

friend too

J u s t a f e w

h o u r s

b e f o

r e I h a d

s t a r e d a t

m y o

l d e r b

r o t h

e r S t e v e

i n c o

m p

l e t e s u r p

r i s e

w a i t i n

g f o r h

i m t o

t e

l l

m e t h

a t h e w

a s o n

l y

j o k i n g ldquo W

e l l d o y o

u

w a n

t t o p

l a y rdquo S t e v e

a s k e d i m p

a

t i e n t l y

I w

e n t i n t o t h e

r o o m w h

e r e t h e

o l d e r b o y s

w e r e

s e t t i n g u p

t h e b o a r d

g a m e A s t h e

g a m e s t a r t e d

w i t h

e v e r y o n e s t r a t e g i c a l l y

p l a c i n g

t h e i r g a m

e

p i e c e s

I f e l t l i k e

I w

a s d r e a

m i n g F o r

t h e fi r s t t i m

e

I f e l t e q u a l t o

m y b r o t h e r mdash

n o t l i k e I

w a s j u s t h i s

t a g a l o n g

T h e d r e a m

e n d e d q u i c k

l y h o w e v e r

T h e

g a m e w

a s t o u g h

a n d m y i n

e x p e r i e n c e

a n d l a c k

o f k n o w l e d g e

b e c

a m e

p a i n f u l l y o b v i o u s

a s t h e o t

h e r

p l a y e r s q u i c k l y

a n d

s o u n d l y d e f e a t e d

m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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26 N e w E r a

Le983137r983150i983150983143 the i983150s 983137983150d outs of d983137ti983150983143 c983137983150 be h983137rd Let this course tur983150 you

i983150to 983137 d983137ti983150983143 983152ro

By Matthew ORichardson

Served as Second

Counselor in theSunday SchoolGeneral Presidencyfrom 2009 to 2014

hile speaking to youth about how to prepare for a celestial marriage

President Thomas S Monson emphasized that ldquoproper dating is a part

of preparation for marriagerdquo 1 Have you thought much about happy

relationships Elder Russell M Nelson of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said a ldquocelestial marriage brings greater possibilities for happiness than

does any other relationshiprdquo2

When I was serving as bishop in a young single adult ward I worried about those

who approached dating with very little purpose understanding or direction This

caused me to wonder if my own children would be any different when their time came

My wife and I decided to help our children prepare for ldquoproper datingrdquo and happy rela-tionships by creating the Richardson Dating Academy or RDA as our children call it

It wasnrsquot long after we started the RDA that friends of our children wanted to partici-

pate and even become RDA graduates So how about you Are you ready to become a

dating academy graduate yourself Class is in session

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 27

Lesso983150 1 ur983152oses 983137983150d St983137983150d983137rds of D983137ti983150983143

Lesso983150 2 W983137tch 983137983150d Le983137r983150

Homework

As you know ldquodatingrdquo means different things to differ-

ent people Your first assignment is to figure out just what

a ldquodaterdquo is according to Church standards Can you explain

the purposes of dating and the specific dating standards and

guidelines set by the Church Or do you know when itrsquosmost appropriate to be involved in dating and steady dating

(having a boyfriend or girlfriend)

You can find answers to these questions in the ldquoDatingrdquo

section of For the Strength of Youth The First Presidency

reminds us why knowing and understanding these stan-

dards are so important They promise ldquoThe standards in this

Elder Jeffrey R Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles once explained that most athletic contests have ldquolines

drawn on the floor or the field within which every participant

must stay in order to competerdquo3 Success depends on how

well a competitor knows and stays within the set boundaries

Likewise itrsquos important to know the ldquodating linesrdquo or the pur-

poses and standards of dating as taught by Church leaders

One of the most com-

mon ways people learn

is by watching others

Dating is no different

In the dating academy

we spend time observ-

ing others in dating

situations In our family

we learned many point-ersmdashsome to do others

to avoidmdashby watching

dates in progress at

restaurants and other

settings Yes we went to

certain places with the

sole purpose to observe

dates for ldquoclassrdquo

booklet will help you with the important choices you are

making now and will yet make in the futurerdquo4

Now that you have a solid foundation of the stan-

dards and purposes of dating (you did do your home-

work and read that section didnrsquot you) itrsquos time to move

on to lesson 2

Tips

Here are some suggestions that will help you learn

as you observe

bull Watch but donrsquot be creepy This is about learning from

others but not stalking staring or even judging Look for

things you like and things you would like to avoid

bull Go to a variety of places and settings to observe others

Not every date is the same nor should it be Watch how thesetting affects the experience

bull Watch how people interact with each other Can you tell

who is with whom Are they paying attention to each

other In what ways Are they talking with each other Do

they look like they enjoy being with each other How can

you tell if they are having fun

bull Talk with a parent leader or good friends and share what

you noticed and what you learned

Homework

The next time you go

out to eat attend a movie

or go to almost any activ-

ity make an effort to look

around and see how other

people are interacting It

may surprise you to see

how much dating is actu-ally going on Take the

time to learn from those

around you by paying

attention to whatrsquos work-

ing and what isnrsquot

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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28 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 3 l983137983150983150i983150983143 983137 D983137te

Tips

bull Start planning early

bull Donrsquot be afraid to bounce ideas off your friendsparents and others They can provide excellent

suggestions that you havenrsquot even thought about

bull Make sure you let your budget amount of time

available the reasons for dating and Church stan-

dards guide your planning

bull Think of what you hope will happen during the

date from beginning to end This helps you realize

what needs to be done to make the date a success

bull Pay attention to details Call ahead for event times

prices menus and what the proper dress is for

the occasion

bull Plan for emergencies For example what will you

do if you donrsquot have enough money or have car

trouble What if your date gets sick

Homework

Rather than leaving everything to chance dating acad-

emy grads understand what needs to happen and theyplan accordingly

Your homework assignment even if yoursquore years away

from dating is to practice planning an event You can

brainstorm with friends really fun ideas for a date Then

work together to think of what planning is required to

make those ideas actually happen Or you can ask your

parents to let you plan the next family outing

You might choose a place to eat or what to do Plan all

the details (event times travel time cost backup plans)

and then put your plan into action You could evencome up with a dating plan complete with backup ideas

if something goes wrong and share it in family home

evening while talking together around the dinner table

or with friends You may find that properly planning an

activity is almost as much fun as the actual date

The quality of experience yoursquoll have with others is

often determined by what happens before a date begins

Showing up on your datersquos doorstep with no plan is a

recipe for an awkward experience Nobody likes playing

the ldquoWhat do you want to dordquo game

Yoursquore better than that With a little practice you can

become a date-planning champion And young women

no fair skipping this section While most of the time young

men plan and ask for dates yoursquoll still want to have these

skills down for when itrsquos your turn

Group Date IdeasNeed ideas Check out ldsorggoideasNE8 Some

of the youth activities there could be adapted for dates

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Homework

In the Richardson Dating Academy all of our

children practiced dating invitations For example

our children might call an aunt older sibling or other

family member to practice inviting someone on a

date Or our son or daughter would receive an invita-

tion from a family member and practice responding

They learned how to deal with rejection acceptance

or even a disinterested response or two

Now itrsquos your turn Working with your parents ask

them to line up somebody in your family you can call

and practice inviting on a date Make sure you do this

more than once

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 29

You know your dating standards front and back

yoursquove watched others in dating situations and

yoursquove come up with a solid date plan

Congratulations Now you still need to invite

someone Or you need to know how to respond

when you are invited So whatrsquos the best way A

phone call Ask in person Here are some different

points to consider

Lesso983150 4 I983150viti983150983143 Others 983137983150d Bei983150983143 I983150vited

Tips

bull Be ready to give details when you invite

someone on a date Talk about what you have

planned start and end times whorsquos participat-ing and how they should dress (casual dressy

etc) Your excellent planning from academy

lesson 3 makes this part of the academy easy

bull Therersquos a time to talk by phone and a time to

ask face-to-face The more important the event

is the more personal the invitation should be

Donrsquot be afraid to skip technology and actually

talk with someone

bull Some events may require you to speak with

your datersquos parents first This shows respectand courtesy

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30 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 5 O983150 the D983137te

It would be impossible for any dating academy to cover

every little thing to consider or plan for in dating So much

depends on good judgment communication with your par-

ents and listening to the Spirit

Still here are a few key points you might want to brush

up on before putting your date plan into action

Tips

bull Develop a ldquoyou firstrdquo attitude This means you always

think of your date first Is he or she having fun Is he or

she comfortable

bull Make sure you dress appropriately for the occasion

The way you dress usually communicates how you feelabout others and about the event Know the difference

between casual (but never sloppy) semiformal and

formal and when it would be appropriate to dress in

those ways

bull Show common courtesy by opening doors saying

thank you talking less about yourself and more about

your date and extending sincere compliments

bull Learn how to navigate restaurants Know how to make

a reservation get a table calculate a service tip and

pay the bill

Homework

Once again the best way to learn any good skill is by practic-

ing it Our youth enjoyed role-playing different situations

to think about how to act most appropriately We

also loved going out to eat as part of the dating acad-

emy experience Our children learned how to act in

a restaurant order a meal calculate the tip and paythe bill by actually doing it when they were with us

Look for opportunities to practice skills you should use on a

date For example the next time you and your family go some-

where ask your parents to let you purchase the tickets order

the meal or calculate the tip Treat your family or friends with

the same respect and courtesy that you should show others on a

date Open doors for your family be the first to say ldquothank yourdquo

and pay attention so you are part of the conversation

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 31

Lesso983150 6 The Doorste983152

NOTES

1 Thomas S Monson ldquoPreparation BringsBlessingsrdquo Ensign May 2010 64

2 Russell M Nelson ldquoCelestial Marriagerdquo Ensign Nov 2008 93

3 Jeffrey R Holland ldquoWe Are All Enlistedrdquo Ensign Nov 2011 45

4 ldquoMessage to the Youth from The First Presi-dencyrdquo For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

5 John Bytheway ldquoWhat Do Kisses Meanrdquo New Era Oct 2004 38ndash41

Last but not least dating

academy graduates know how

to conclude a date on the right

note Nothing sours a great date

more than a bad ending

Herersquos how you can finish a

date with success

Tips

bull Express gratitude Be sincere

and to the point If there was something you especially

liked tell your date what

it was

bull Therersquos no reason for drag-

ging things on at this point

Yoursquove already spent plenty

of time together Avoid the

ldquodoorstep shufflerdquo When

people arenrsquot sure what to

say they tend to shuffle backand forth or move their feet

in place If you find yourself

ldquoshufflingrdquo in place itrsquos a

pretty good signal that you

need to say good-bye

bull Know and follow the

Churchrsquos counsel on kissing

and physical intimacy (You

might also want to read John

Bythewayrsquos article ldquoWhat Do

Kisses Meanrdquo5 at ldsorggo

kissesNE8)

Homework

Yes herersquos another opportunity for practicing Our family has spent several family

home evenings role-playing doorstep good-byes Itrsquos been both helpful and fun to

watch an older sibling coach the younger sibling with dorsquos and donrsquots

Most memorable was an older sister showing how she could turn a hug into a

handshake with the grace of a princess and the speed of a ninja You too can get

together with family members and role-play different scenarios that might happen on

a doorstep We guarantee itrsquoll be an academy night yoursquoll all remember

Gr983137du983137tio983150

If yoursquove studied all the

material worked on the tips done

the homework and talked through

the lessons with your parents and

family you too can become a

dating academy graduate

As you continue strengthening

these important skills yoursquoll find

support strength and power that

will bless your relationships both

now and in the future You will be

better prepared for happiness NE

Do Try This at HomeInterested in having a dating academy at

home Let your parents know therersquos an RDAarticle for them in this monthrsquos Ensign or atldsorggoRDA

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32 N e w E r a

S U N DA Y L E S S

O N S

This Monthrsquos Topic

Ma r r iage a nd

Fa m i l y

MARRIAGE IS WORTH ITldquoIt is so rewarding to bemarried Marriage is wonder-ful In time you begin to thinkalike and have the same ideasand impressions You havetimes when you are extremelyhappy times of testing andtimes of trial but the Lordguides you through all ofthose growth experiencestogetherrdquo

Elder Richard G Scott of the

Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo

Ensign May 2011 96

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 33

We love being marr ied and he

rersquos why

By Ben and Rachel Nielsen

Letrsquos face it girls (and boys) itrsquos nice to know that someone loves you

And when yoursquore married you have chances to share and receive love every

day When I was talking to my parents about the possibility of marrying

Ben my dad said ldquoWhomever you choose to marry I want him to fre-

quently and sincerely express his love for you like Elder Richard G Scott did

for his wiferdquo3 I listened to Dad

I decided to marry Ben and he has always made an effort to express

his love to me in small and big ways During my senior year of college I

worked for months to prepare apply and interview for a prestigious intern-ship And when I finally heard that I got the job I came home and saw a

vase full of flowers from my husband He knew how hard I had worked and

how much the internship meant to me At other times hersquoll hide my favorite

drink and a love note in the fridge before he heads out for a weekend Scout

camp And every day hersquoll do the dishes and make me laugh Ben is great at

expressing his love for me and that brings both of us great joy

During my mission in Brazil I grew to love soccer One thing that I lovemost about this sport is having teammates and learning how to work together

with my team Rachel is a fantastic teammate She helps me achieve my

goals joins me in making important decisions and is there for me when I

have trouble

When we were sealed in the temple we promised to ldquohelp one another as

equal partnersrdquo2 Rachel and I strive to support each other in everything we

do and itrsquos great to know that I always have a reliable teammate

After our first date we both

knew we wanted to go

on a second date Ben

wanted to go on

another date because Rachel was

friendly and fun to talk to Rachel

wanted to go on another date

because Ben was a gentleman

and was still smiling after all of

his well-laid plans fell through

After the second date plus manymore dates and prayers after

that we fell in love and decided

to get married in the Sacramento

California Temple

The wedding day was abso-

lutely perfect and we have loved

being married ever since The

world may see marriage differ-

ently but we know that ldquono other

relationship of any kind canbring as much joy generate as

much good or produce as much

personal refinementrdquo1 Marriage

is awesome and herersquos why

FROM BEN A T e a m m a t e

FROM RACHEL

E x p r e s s i o n s o f L o v e

WHY MARRIAGE IS

A w e s o m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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34 N e w E r a

JOIN THE CONVERSATION

Things to Ponder for Sunday

bull What qualities and attitudes make for the strongest

and happiest marriages and families

bull What are you doing now that will help your future

marriage and family stay strong and happy

Things You Might Do

bull Share with some friends your goal of marrying and

having a family and tell them why

bull In church share why you are looking forward

to marriage and family and how you are pre-

paring for them

serving in the Church and inviting others to come unto

Christ As we work together to build the kingdom of God

we grow closer our love deepens and life is more fulfilling

Dating Rachel is so much fun In fact we make surethat we still frequently go on dates even as a married

couple After we first met we found that we enjoy many

of the same activities walking through parks attending

plays watching sporting events eating new and different

food listening to music and so much more I loved doing

these things before I met Rachel but theyrsquore even more

fun now that we get to share them together When yoursquore

married you have someone to enjoy life withmdashand that

makes life awesome

Before I met Ben I was nearing the age of missionary

service and had seriously considered serving a full-time

mission But then Ben entered my life and I knew that

Heavenly Father had a different plan for me

When Ben and I got engaged relatives who knew

about my thoughts to serve a mission asked me about my

choice and I would tell them ldquoI decided that I wanted topick my own missionary companionmdashand stay with him

for eternityrdquo

When yoursquore married you and your spouse have the

chance to participate in the work of salvation together

Ben and I have found great joy in building a Christ-

centered home studying and living the gospel together

Despite what the world may say marriage is awesome

and is worth making a priority When yoursquore married you

have a teammate you give and receive love you enjoy life

more fully and you have someone to build the kingdom

of God with All of that brings us great joy and because

we were sealed in the temple we can have this joy forever

If we keep our covenants we will be together for eternityand receive the crowning blessings of the priesthood We

ldquohave found in marriage the richest fulfillment of human

existencerdquo 4 NE

Ben and Rachel Nielsen live in Utah USA

NOTES

1 L Whitney Clayton ldquoMarriage Watch and Learnrdquo Ensign May 2013 83 2 ldquoThe Family A Proclamation to the Worldrdquo Ensign Nov 2010 129 3 See Richard G Scott ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo Ensign May

2011 96 4 James E Faust ldquoEnriching Your Marriagerdquo Ensign Apr 2007 6

FROM BEN M o r e E n jo y m e n t

FROM RACHEL A n E t e r n a l M is s i o n a r y C o m p a n io n

TAKE IT FROM US

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Your family can help unite the family of GodYou can all share the gospel in natural and pleasant ways

P H O T O I L L U S T R A T I O N B Y D A V I D S T O K E R

M O R M O N A D

(See M Russell Ballard ldquoPut Your Trust in the Lordrdquo Ensign Nov 2013 43)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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36 N e w E r a

By Alex Larsen

I always knew I wanted to be a mother but when I was grow-

ing up it wasnrsquot always on my mind When my fianceacute and I

were engaged one day I was talking with one of my college

professorsmdasha woman I greatly admiredmdashabout my engage-

ment She said something that brought my life choices into sharp

focus ldquoYou are wasting your talentrdquo she told me as she shook

her head She went on to say that someone as smart as I was

should not get married young She assumed I would have chil-

dren in my future and would be ldquothrowing awayrdquo my education

and chances of a stellar career on my future motherhood I could

tell by the way she looked at me that she thought I was making

a terrible and naiumlve mistake

Itrsquos been several years since that conversation and my hus-

band and I have two little girls Kate is three years old and is

my little sweetheart She moves through life at a leisurely pace

savoring all of the little details she notices Annabel is one yearold with bright blue eyes and a head of curls Shersquos exuberant

and determined Though I didnrsquot change my mind because of

what my professor said our discussion has stayed with me In

one way my professorrsquos predictions were correct I do not have

a prestigious working career But my professor got the most

important point wrong because I have wasted nothing

g i v i n

g u p e v e r y

t hi n g

but wh a t

I

g a i n ed

w as w o r t h so much m o r e

T h e wor l d t o l d me

I w ould

b e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 37

their spirits growing and developing I remember

the first time Kate pointed to a picture of the Savior and

said ldquoJesusrdquo I knew then that what I was doing was eter-

nally significant in the lives of my children

The world often tells us that lifersquos rewards come in

the form of status money or grand accomplishments

but I know therersquos great satisfaction even in the small

acts of changing diapers or wiping sticky fingers Every

little thing I do as a mother is part of helping to build the

kingdom of God by nurturing His children I always knew

I wanted children but it was not until I held my first baby

in my arms that I began to realize how much my heart

was capable of loving

The love I have for my daughters has helped me bet-

ter understand how much my Heavenly Father loves all

of His children When speaking of little children Jesustaught that ldquoof such is the kingdom of heavenrdquo (Matthew

1914) More than anything motherhood has helped me

to grow as a daughter of God because now I know what

a daughter of God looks like from the eyes of a parent

The world makes us think that a woman loses herself in

motherhoodmdashshe loses her body her free time and her

career But I have found myself in motherhood I feel

more beautiful and more valuable than ever before NE

Alex Larsen lives in California USA

I love the opportunity to stay home and care for my

young children because these are the most formative

years of their lives I have the opportunity to create a rich

home environment for my girls by reading and discussing

things with them as part of our everyday life Kate will

often astound me by remembering and commenting on

something wersquod read in a book several weeks before and

Annabel learns a new skill almost every day But as fun

and important as it is to watch them learn new

information and skills I feel the

most satisfied when I see

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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38 N e w E r a

One o f t h e g r e a t e s t ad v enture s o f y o u r l i f e w i l l b e y our rol e a n d c a l l i n g a s a f a t her

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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ROcksROcksROcks

NOTE

1 See Thomas S Monson ldquoWelcome to Conferencerdquo Ensign Nov 2012 4ndash5

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 39

DA D D A DD AD

By Chris Deaver

W

hen I was younger I loved spending time

with my dad He always knew the bestgames to play the best stories to tell at night

and the most interesting sports to try It was

like he was born to be a great dad

Fast-forward my life to when I married my sweetheart

Julia and then even further to the moment that our first

child Daniel was born I was filled with a rush of emo-

tions I was happy shocked amazed and a little scared

I felt totally inadequate to be a father and to have the

responsibility of teaching and being an example to my son

But I quickly realized that Irsquod been preparing all my life tobe a dad When I held my son in my arms for the first time

and looked down into his face I felt the Spirit touch my

heart and I realized that I was ready to try to be a great

dad just like my own dad was to me

When Daniel was very young he already had a great

sense of humor He learned to tell hilarious jokes that

would make my wife and me laugh He also often said

things that inspired us Shortly after hearing President

Thomas S Monson announce the change in age require-

ments for young men and young women preparingto serve missions1 we were driving in the car Daniel

announced that he would start preparing himself right

then at age six so he would have 12 years of preparation

Then he said with a smile ldquoDad can I change the song

from lsquoI Hope They Call Me on a Missionrsquo to lsquoI AM Going on

a Missionrsquordquo It was awesome

WHYbeing a

Three years after Daniel was born he was followed by his

brother Austin For me as a dad itrsquos been great to watch bothboys become best friends And Austin has been just as fun

as Daniel in his own way He enjoys building and destroying

block towers and one of his favorite activities is to fearlessly

wrestle me as if I stand no chance against his four-year-old

powers Of course I give in and let him winmdashso I guess I

reinforce his belief But itrsquos so much fun I know hersquoll be a

great wrestler but what I want most is for him to wrestle

ldquoagainst the rulers of the darkness of this worldrdquo and ldquoagainst

spiritual wickednessrdquo like it says in the scriptures (Ephesians

612) And I hope Irsquom helping to prepare him to do that We just recently had our third child a baby girl named

Faith During the delivery my wife was having some com-

plications and we were scared for our baby I gave Julia

a blessing Then she asked me to sing to her The Spirit

brought peace to both of us Soon baby Faith came safely

into the world It was a miracle and she definitely lived up

to her name Faithrsquos beautiful smile brightens my life I canrsquot

express in words how much she means to me

For any young man still wondering let me tell you You

were born to be a great dad The world may not agree butfatherhood is the best Someday yoursquoll find that your kids

inspire you too and that being a dad is the greatest adven-

ture of your life Yes itrsquos a duty and something you need to

take seriously but being a dad is unlike anything else NE

Chris Deaver lives in Florida USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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40 N e w E r a

We always seem to be encouraged to read more

because well everyone knows that reading is a

good thing But not all books are worth reading and just

because sexual material is written about rather than pho-

tographed or video recorded doesnrsquot mean that itrsquos less

morally hazardous Making a common display of a sacred

intimacy thatrsquos intended to only be part of a marriage rela-

tionship is wrongmdashwhether in words or imagesIf something yoursquore reading contains explicit sexual

descriptions that imprint themselves on your mind and

arouse sexual feelings in the same way that looking at

pornographic images would then guess what Itrsquos pornog-

raphy Remember the counsel in For the Strength of Youth

ldquoChoose wisely when using media because whatever you

read listen to or look at has an effect on you Select only

media that uplifts yourdquo ([2011] 11) NE

T O T H E P O I N T

President Boyd K

Packer President of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoEach

of us must come to ourown personal testimony

of the Lord Jesus Christ

We then share that testi-

mony with our family and

othersrdquo1 It can sometimes

be easy to question the

depth of your testimony

I know looking at pornographic

pictures is wrong but whatabout reading books with

ldquoromanticrdquo scenes

If I donrsquot have a burning

desire to share thegospel does that mean I

donrsquot have a testimony

when you compare your-

self to people like Brigham

Young who once said ldquoI

wanted to thunder and

roar out the gospel to thenations It burned in my

bones like fire pent uprdquo2

So what if you donrsquot feel

fire in your bones

Hopefully your lack of

desire doesnrsquot come from

a lack of concern for your

fellowmen As your faith in

Jesus Christ grows so does

your love of all people a

love that is a mark of the

true followers of Christ (see

Moroni 748 John 1335)

Itrsquos likely however

that your hesitancy sim-

ply comes from fear and

anxiety about speaking toothers For many people

such feelings can be over-

whelming Even prophets

have had doubts about their

ability to speak to people

(see Exodus 410 Moses

631) They of course

had no reason to question

their testimoniesmdashand

neither should you if you

are studying the scriptures

pondering praying fasting

repenting and doing all the

other things that help bring

the Spirit into your life

If you feel you just

need a little extra cour-age to share the gos-

pel visit ldsorggo

shareNE8 for ideas NE

NOTES

1 Boyd K Packer ldquoThe Witnessrdquo Ensign May 2014 96

2 Teachings of Presidents ofthe Church Brigham Young (1997) viii

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4352

C O M E F O L L O W M E

Family

983152983137tter983150 of

President Boyd K PackerPresident of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

April 2014 general conference

The ultimate end

of all activity in

the Church is that

a man and his wife

and their childrencan be happy

at home

The FamilyYoursquoll be studying about the family in your Sunday classes

this month As you study and discuss family you may pon-der these questions Why do Church leaders emphasize

family so much What is the place of family in Heavenly

Fatherrsquos plan How does family help make us happy

To find some answers to these questions see the

family proclamation near the back of your Personal

Progress or Duty to God booklet or online at ldsorg

gofamilyNE8 Yoursquoll also find teachings about

family relationships in general conference talks at

conferenceldsorg

Give yourself an easy reminder to prepare for your

Sunday lessons on the family Just place these cards

in your scriptures locker or bedroom You can also

download or share them online at ldsorggocardsNE8 B A C K G R O U N D T E X T U R E

B Y I S T O C K P H O T O T H I N K S T O C K

We 983150eed We 983150eed

MOR E

983155tre983150983143the983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

RELATIONSHIPS

983153u983137lity 983153u983137lity TIME amp EFFORT INTO

TO PUT

983155re983150983143te983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4452

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4552

T H E E X T R A S M I L E

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 43

I dont like to pack so I rsquo m just wearing all my stuff

JON CLARK

W h a t m a k e s y o

u t h i n k

D a d rsquo s t a l k i n g t o

t h e

p r o p h e t

B ecaus e h e s ai d h e w as on a conf er ence cal l

RYAN STOKER

F r o m n o w o n j u s t t a k e

a p i c t u r e o f t h e t o o t h a n

d

u p l o a d i t t o m y F a c e b o o k

p a g e

a n d t h e n I rsquo l l s e n d y o u t h e

m o n e y t h r o u g h P a y P a l

RANDY GLASBERGEN

[Gasp] He he made h is bed this morning

And I didnrsquo t even ask

VAL CHADWICK BAGLEY

Who says there arenrsquo t modern m iracles

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4652

44 N e w E r a

ldquoMymom works

Since you donrsquot see your mom often make sure that

the time you do have together is used well You

could talk to your mom about how to do this She

wants a good relationship with you too and will

help you work on it Try asking her what she would

appreciate coming home to a clean house doing an activity

together just talking with you As you regularly do activities your mom appreciates your relationship will improve

Of course you could plan some fun activities to do together

but any meaningful time togethermdashsuch as washing the dishes

or reading the scripturesmdashcan be a great way to build your

relationship

Also plan time for communication Understanding one

another is a key ingredient in good relationships One thing

to discuss is how your momrsquos work schedule will affect your

relationship with her You can avoid misunderstandings if you

talk about your expectations as well as your momrsquosPrayer will help Families are important to Heavenly Father

so He can inspire you to know how to improve your relation-

ship with your mom Donrsquot ignore a prompting to do something

that seems small (see Alma 376) A hug and a smile for exam-

ple can make a big difference NE

Write a Note

Even if you have very

little time together you

can still express your

love to your mother

Write her thoughtful secret notes As

she reads them at work she will think

of you Do as much as you can for

her Think about her more often and

pray for her Ask the Lord to inspire

you and prompt you regarding how

you can improve your relationship Irinka E 20 Odessa Ukraine

Seek to Understand Her

Try to understand her situation

because she works for your benefit

You can begin by helping with things

at home like cleaning the house

helping your siblings and cooking

You also can share scriptures with

your mom pray together and doactivities that you like to do together

Morony M 18 Chihuahua Mexico

Have a Special Sunday

On some Sundays we

have a special lunch

or dinner with a new

dessert we talk and at

the end we sing hymns This brings

us together and helps us be betterfriends

Rebeca N 12 Satildeo Paulo Brazil

Try an Experiment

We arrange time to be together hav-

ing family home evening playing

games going to the beach having

lunch together All of this helps to

Q U E S T I O N S amp A N S W E R S

all day Howcan I improve our

relationshiprdquo

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4752

keep the flame of a good relationship

alive When we disagree we avoid

criticizing I know that sometimes I

ask not to do housework but this

contributes to disharmony in the

home Since I began this experiment

mdashcomplaining less lowering my

voice helping more with housework

and talking more with my mothermdash

a sweet spirit has developed in our

home and we cooperate more

Glenda C 18 Bahia Brazil

Help at Home

Do some extra chores

around the house Your

mom has been work-

ing all day If she has

less work to do when she gets home

shersquoll probably be happier and have

more time to talk and do things with

you While you are talking you canask about her day at work It will

show her that you care and it will

open doors for other topics of discus-

sion allowing you to grow closer

Heather B 18 Oregon USA

Find Something You BothLike to Do

My mumrsquos relationship with me

skyrocketed when I said ldquoI want tospend more time with you but I donrsquot

know what to do or when to do itrdquo

Playing board games happens to be

our favorite pastime So we set aside

a time together to play laugh and

make memories When you are open

with your parents eventually they

become your best companions You

UPCOMING QUESTION

ldquoMy parents just

got divorced Irsquom angry that they

have broken up our

family How doI forgive themrdquo

Send your answer and photo by

September 15 2014

Go to neweraldsorg click ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo enter your LDS Accountand then select ldquoNew Erardquo

Responses may be edited for length

or clarity

Responses are intended for help and per-

spective not as official pronouncements ofChurch doctrine

will be able to talk to them about

anything and you will be sure of an

honest answer That is the sign of a

mature relationship

Ephraim S 15 New South Wales Australia

Read Scriptures Together

Both of you could set a goal to read

together every day even just five

minutes from the Book of Mormon

or any other Church book It will

strengthen your relationship andnourish you with the word of God

so you can be ready to face each day

Remember also to pray to God and

ask for His help I know He hears you

and loves you

Laura M 19 Coacuterdoba Argentina

LEARN FROM

YOUR MOTHER

ldquoPlease look to yourfaithful mothers fora pattern to followModel yourselves

after them not after celebritieswhose standards are not the Lordrsquosstandards and whose values maynot reflect an eternal perspectiveLook to your mother Learn fromher strengths her courage andher faithfulness Listen to her She

may not be a whiz at texting shemay not even have a Facebookpage But when it comes to mat-ters of the heart and the thingsof the Lord she has a wealth ofknowledgerdquo

Elder M Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles ldquoMothers and Daughtersrdquo

Ensign May 2010 19

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4852

46 N e w E r a

MISERABLE TOTHE END OFTHE STREET

For one family home evening my

dad wanted to take advantage

of a pause in the rainy weather

to go on a walk around the neighbor-

hood I grumbled and complained

that it was too wet and muddy to

go walking I used the excuse that

I had a ballet recital that week and

didnrsquot want to sprain an ankle but

my dad didnrsquot buy it He insisted thatit was going to be the activity for the

evening I murmured a bit more about

the unfairness and my recital but we

left on the walk anyway

As I glumly stomped outside for

the walk with my family I was deter-

mined not to smile or be happy I

succeeded in feeling miserable until

I N S T A N T M E S S A G E S

we reached the end of the street Then

we turned the corner and I saw in full

force naturersquos beauty and wonder

Before me was a gorgeous sunset

and opposite it was a rainbow arching

above our neighborhood rooftops

I immediately forgot all about being

miserable and looked around in awe

On the way home I said a prayer of

gratitude thanking God for the beautyof His creations I later thanked my

dad for choosing the activity and for

allowing us to enjoy nature for that

family home evening

Jennie H North Carolina USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4952

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 47

STANDARDS AND FRIENDS

Since Irsquove been in school Irsquove had friends who havenrsquot understood the

moral standards of our religion At first it was difficult but over time

my friends have become used to the idea of my being morally clean I

made a goal in my life to be clean and pure and itrsquos worked out well both

for me and for those who used to criticize me Over time respect peace and

joy have become a part of our loving circle of friends

Vitoacuteria M Brazil

A DIFFICULT DECISION

FORGIVINGMY FRIENDS

As the only member of the

Church in my peer group

Irsquove experienced some

instances when my friends have

offended me Sometimes they judge

and criticize my religion I feel so

alone yet Irsquom thankful I know the

standards of the Church

If my friends offend me I try to

humble myself and avoid contention

because I know contention is evil When they start discussing some mat-

ters about the Church I just testify of

my belief in the gospel

I always forgive my friends with or

without their apology Forgiving is not

just about saying ldquoApology acceptedrdquo

or ldquoItrsquos OKrdquo because forgiveness has

a deep meaning Jesus Christ atoned

for our sins so that Heavenly Father

can forgive usEven though my friends donrsquot

understand my faith now I know that

I can be Godrsquos instrument to teach

them the gospel I am helping them

and at the same time I am helping

myself to grow spiritually and prepare

to serve a mission

Joshua V Philippines

As volleyball tryouts approached for my senior year in high

school I couldnrsquot believe the thought that was running through

my head I wasnrsquot supposed to play volleyball Irsquod played vol-

leyball since seventh grademdashwhy should this year be any different

Not seeing the sense in quitting I ignored the feeling and continued

to participate in summer volleyball events After a while the feeling

came back so I decided that if I really wasnrsquot supposed to be on the

team my coach would just cut me during tryouts

Then one night at the gym I couldnrsquot focus on the game at all I felt

terrible and restless inside I came home frustrated with my team and

with myself I sat next to my mom and sister and cried I told them

how confused I was and my mom told me to pray and ask Heavenly

Father what He wanted me to do I went up to my room and began to

pray I told Heavenly Father how I felt then I asked Him to help mefeel peace if I was not supposed to continue playing volleyball I felt

His peace in my heart and knew that I needed to quit

Irsquom still not sure all the reasons why that was the right

decision but I know that itrsquos what the Lord

wanted me to do and thatrsquos a good

enough reason for me

The next morning I told my

coach and my teammates that

I wasnrsquot going to be playing

Even though it was incrediblyhard I knew I was doing

the right thing

Klaire B Arizona USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5052

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5152

you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5252

WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2552

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 23

invite the Holy Ghost to be our con-

stant companion Just as those who

keep pedaling a bike can stay upright

despite gravityrsquos influence those who

are guided by the Holy Spirit in allthey do can withstand the influence of

the adversary

What are the destinations you have

in mind as you pedal forward For all

young men of the Aaronic Priesthood

preparing now for a full-time mission

is important in forward growth For

all youth being prepared to go to the

temple and receive the endowment by

making and keeping sacred covenantsshould also be a primary goal

As the message from the First

Presidency at the beginning of For the

Strength of Youth says ldquoIn all that you

do stay focused on the temple In the

temple you will receive the greatest

of all the Lordrsquos blessings including

marriage for time and all eternityrdquo1

Receiving the covenant of eternal

marriage in the house of the Lord and

becoming righteous husbands wives

fathers and mothers may seem far

down the road but the time to beginpreparing is now All of these things

lead to the most glorious and grand

destination of allmdasheternal life with

our Heavenly Father

One of my favorite scriptures

sums up what we need to do in order

to keep moving toward our goals

ldquoWherefore ye must press forward

with a steadfastness in Christ hav-

ing a perfect brightness of hopeand a love of God and of all men

Wherefore if ye shall press forward

feasting upon the word of Christ and

endure to the end behold thus saith

the Father Ye shall have eternal liferdquo

(2 Nephi 3120)

Just as I learned as an eight-year-

old girl that I needed to keep pedaling

and moving forward in order to defy

gravity and keep my balance on my

bicycle it is important for all of us to

keep moving forward with faith trust-

ing in the counsel of living prophetsand a loving Heavenly Father to keep

us from falling Some of our destina-

tions are just down the road while

others will take a lifetime of faithful

living to achieve The promises of

what lies at the end of the road if we

are faithful are certain and glorious

and well worth the ride NE

NOTE

1 For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

Learn MoreSee whatrsquos next in your covenant path

at ldsorggocovenantNE8

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2652

24 N e w E r a

BOA R D

GA M E S

B y Da vid Chris tensen

My chance to play le f t

a lasting impact but it

wasnrsquot what Irsquod e xpected

L o s i n

g s o

q u i c k

l y w

a s b

a d e

n o u

g h

b

u t t o

m a k

e m

a t t e r s

w o r s e

t h

e o t h

e r g

u y

s s t a r t e

d t o

m a k

e

f u n

o f

m e

I

t r i e d

t o c o

n t i n

u e

p l a y i n g

e v e

n t h

o u

g h

t h e y

w e r

e b

e i n

g m

e a n

b

u t i t

w a s h

a r d t o h o

l d b

a c k m y t e

a r s

o f f r u s t

r a t i o n

U

n f o

r t u n a t e l y

o n e t e

a r t r i c k l e

d d

o w

n m y

c h e e

k b

e f o

r e I

c o u

l d w i p

e i t

a w a y M

y b

r o t h

e r

s a w i t

a n d

t e a s e

d m

e t o

o

I c o

u l d

n rsquo t

t a k e i t

a n y

m o r e

a n d

r a n t o

m y

r o o m

I g a v e m y s e l

f a q u i c k p i n

c h

t o m a k e s u r

e I w a s n rsquo

t d r e a m i n g

a n d t h e

n I v o i c e d

a t i m i d ldquo Y e

a h

s u r e rdquo I s t

i l l c o u l d

n rsquo t b e l i e

v e t h a t

m y b r o t h e

r h a d i n v

i t e d m e t o

p l a y a g a m e w i t h

t h e ldquo b i g k i

d s rdquo

A f t e r a l l

I rsquo d b e e n t o l d f o r t h

r e e

y e a r s t h a

t I w a s s t i l l

t o o y o u

n g

t o p l a y m o r e d i f fi

c u l t b o a

r d

g a m e s w i t h m y b r o

t h e r a n d

h i s f r i e n d s

A N D B R O

T H

E R S

I

felt the hot tears of anger slowly slide

down my face I wiped them away with

my hand but I could still feel the

slightly salty taste on my lips assobs of anguish began to pour out

I just wanted to hang out with my

brother Why couldnrsquot he be my

friend too

J u s t a f e w

h o u r s

b e f o

r e I h a d

s t a r e d a t

m y o

l d e r b

r o t h

e r S t e v e

i n c o

m p

l e t e s u r p

r i s e

w a i t i n

g f o r h

i m t o

t e

l l

m e t h

a t h e w

a s o n

l y

j o k i n g ldquo W

e l l d o y o

u

w a n

t t o p

l a y rdquo S t e v e

a s k e d i m p

a

t i e n t l y

I w

e n t i n t o t h e

r o o m w h

e r e t h e

o l d e r b o y s

w e r e

s e t t i n g u p

t h e b o a r d

g a m e A s t h e

g a m e s t a r t e d

w i t h

e v e r y o n e s t r a t e g i c a l l y

p l a c i n g

t h e i r g a m

e

p i e c e s

I f e l t l i k e

I w

a s d r e a

m i n g F o r

t h e fi r s t t i m

e

I f e l t e q u a l t o

m y b r o t h e r mdash

n o t l i k e I

w a s j u s t h i s

t a g a l o n g

T h e d r e a m

e n d e d q u i c k

l y h o w e v e r

T h e

g a m e w

a s t o u g h

a n d m y i n

e x p e r i e n c e

a n d l a c k

o f k n o w l e d g e

b e c

a m e

p a i n f u l l y o b v i o u s

a s t h e o t

h e r

p l a y e r s q u i c k l y

a n d

s o u n d l y d e f e a t e d

m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2752

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2852

26 N e w E r a

Le983137r983150i983150983143 the i983150s 983137983150d outs of d983137ti983150983143 c983137983150 be h983137rd Let this course tur983150 you

i983150to 983137 d983137ti983150983143 983152ro

By Matthew ORichardson

Served as Second

Counselor in theSunday SchoolGeneral Presidencyfrom 2009 to 2014

hile speaking to youth about how to prepare for a celestial marriage

President Thomas S Monson emphasized that ldquoproper dating is a part

of preparation for marriagerdquo 1 Have you thought much about happy

relationships Elder Russell M Nelson of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said a ldquocelestial marriage brings greater possibilities for happiness than

does any other relationshiprdquo2

When I was serving as bishop in a young single adult ward I worried about those

who approached dating with very little purpose understanding or direction This

caused me to wonder if my own children would be any different when their time came

My wife and I decided to help our children prepare for ldquoproper datingrdquo and happy rela-tionships by creating the Richardson Dating Academy or RDA as our children call it

It wasnrsquot long after we started the RDA that friends of our children wanted to partici-

pate and even become RDA graduates So how about you Are you ready to become a

dating academy graduate yourself Class is in session

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2952

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 27

Lesso983150 1 ur983152oses 983137983150d St983137983150d983137rds of D983137ti983150983143

Lesso983150 2 W983137tch 983137983150d Le983137r983150

Homework

As you know ldquodatingrdquo means different things to differ-

ent people Your first assignment is to figure out just what

a ldquodaterdquo is according to Church standards Can you explain

the purposes of dating and the specific dating standards and

guidelines set by the Church Or do you know when itrsquosmost appropriate to be involved in dating and steady dating

(having a boyfriend or girlfriend)

You can find answers to these questions in the ldquoDatingrdquo

section of For the Strength of Youth The First Presidency

reminds us why knowing and understanding these stan-

dards are so important They promise ldquoThe standards in this

Elder Jeffrey R Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles once explained that most athletic contests have ldquolines

drawn on the floor or the field within which every participant

must stay in order to competerdquo3 Success depends on how

well a competitor knows and stays within the set boundaries

Likewise itrsquos important to know the ldquodating linesrdquo or the pur-

poses and standards of dating as taught by Church leaders

One of the most com-

mon ways people learn

is by watching others

Dating is no different

In the dating academy

we spend time observ-

ing others in dating

situations In our family

we learned many point-ersmdashsome to do others

to avoidmdashby watching

dates in progress at

restaurants and other

settings Yes we went to

certain places with the

sole purpose to observe

dates for ldquoclassrdquo

booklet will help you with the important choices you are

making now and will yet make in the futurerdquo4

Now that you have a solid foundation of the stan-

dards and purposes of dating (you did do your home-

work and read that section didnrsquot you) itrsquos time to move

on to lesson 2

Tips

Here are some suggestions that will help you learn

as you observe

bull Watch but donrsquot be creepy This is about learning from

others but not stalking staring or even judging Look for

things you like and things you would like to avoid

bull Go to a variety of places and settings to observe others

Not every date is the same nor should it be Watch how thesetting affects the experience

bull Watch how people interact with each other Can you tell

who is with whom Are they paying attention to each

other In what ways Are they talking with each other Do

they look like they enjoy being with each other How can

you tell if they are having fun

bull Talk with a parent leader or good friends and share what

you noticed and what you learned

Homework

The next time you go

out to eat attend a movie

or go to almost any activ-

ity make an effort to look

around and see how other

people are interacting It

may surprise you to see

how much dating is actu-ally going on Take the

time to learn from those

around you by paying

attention to whatrsquos work-

ing and what isnrsquot

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 3052

28 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 3 l983137983150983150i983150983143 983137 D983137te

Tips

bull Start planning early

bull Donrsquot be afraid to bounce ideas off your friendsparents and others They can provide excellent

suggestions that you havenrsquot even thought about

bull Make sure you let your budget amount of time

available the reasons for dating and Church stan-

dards guide your planning

bull Think of what you hope will happen during the

date from beginning to end This helps you realize

what needs to be done to make the date a success

bull Pay attention to details Call ahead for event times

prices menus and what the proper dress is for

the occasion

bull Plan for emergencies For example what will you

do if you donrsquot have enough money or have car

trouble What if your date gets sick

Homework

Rather than leaving everything to chance dating acad-

emy grads understand what needs to happen and theyplan accordingly

Your homework assignment even if yoursquore years away

from dating is to practice planning an event You can

brainstorm with friends really fun ideas for a date Then

work together to think of what planning is required to

make those ideas actually happen Or you can ask your

parents to let you plan the next family outing

You might choose a place to eat or what to do Plan all

the details (event times travel time cost backup plans)

and then put your plan into action You could evencome up with a dating plan complete with backup ideas

if something goes wrong and share it in family home

evening while talking together around the dinner table

or with friends You may find that properly planning an

activity is almost as much fun as the actual date

The quality of experience yoursquoll have with others is

often determined by what happens before a date begins

Showing up on your datersquos doorstep with no plan is a

recipe for an awkward experience Nobody likes playing

the ldquoWhat do you want to dordquo game

Yoursquore better than that With a little practice you can

become a date-planning champion And young women

no fair skipping this section While most of the time young

men plan and ask for dates yoursquoll still want to have these

skills down for when itrsquos your turn

Group Date IdeasNeed ideas Check out ldsorggoideasNE8 Some

of the youth activities there could be adapted for dates

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 3152

Homework

In the Richardson Dating Academy all of our

children practiced dating invitations For example

our children might call an aunt older sibling or other

family member to practice inviting someone on a

date Or our son or daughter would receive an invita-

tion from a family member and practice responding

They learned how to deal with rejection acceptance

or even a disinterested response or two

Now itrsquos your turn Working with your parents ask

them to line up somebody in your family you can call

and practice inviting on a date Make sure you do this

more than once

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 29

You know your dating standards front and back

yoursquove watched others in dating situations and

yoursquove come up with a solid date plan

Congratulations Now you still need to invite

someone Or you need to know how to respond

when you are invited So whatrsquos the best way A

phone call Ask in person Here are some different

points to consider

Lesso983150 4 I983150viti983150983143 Others 983137983150d Bei983150983143 I983150vited

Tips

bull Be ready to give details when you invite

someone on a date Talk about what you have

planned start and end times whorsquos participat-ing and how they should dress (casual dressy

etc) Your excellent planning from academy

lesson 3 makes this part of the academy easy

bull Therersquos a time to talk by phone and a time to

ask face-to-face The more important the event

is the more personal the invitation should be

Donrsquot be afraid to skip technology and actually

talk with someone

bull Some events may require you to speak with

your datersquos parents first This shows respectand courtesy

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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30 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 5 O983150 the D983137te

It would be impossible for any dating academy to cover

every little thing to consider or plan for in dating So much

depends on good judgment communication with your par-

ents and listening to the Spirit

Still here are a few key points you might want to brush

up on before putting your date plan into action

Tips

bull Develop a ldquoyou firstrdquo attitude This means you always

think of your date first Is he or she having fun Is he or

she comfortable

bull Make sure you dress appropriately for the occasion

The way you dress usually communicates how you feelabout others and about the event Know the difference

between casual (but never sloppy) semiformal and

formal and when it would be appropriate to dress in

those ways

bull Show common courtesy by opening doors saying

thank you talking less about yourself and more about

your date and extending sincere compliments

bull Learn how to navigate restaurants Know how to make

a reservation get a table calculate a service tip and

pay the bill

Homework

Once again the best way to learn any good skill is by practic-

ing it Our youth enjoyed role-playing different situations

to think about how to act most appropriately We

also loved going out to eat as part of the dating acad-

emy experience Our children learned how to act in

a restaurant order a meal calculate the tip and paythe bill by actually doing it when they were with us

Look for opportunities to practice skills you should use on a

date For example the next time you and your family go some-

where ask your parents to let you purchase the tickets order

the meal or calculate the tip Treat your family or friends with

the same respect and courtesy that you should show others on a

date Open doors for your family be the first to say ldquothank yourdquo

and pay attention so you are part of the conversation

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 31

Lesso983150 6 The Doorste983152

NOTES

1 Thomas S Monson ldquoPreparation BringsBlessingsrdquo Ensign May 2010 64

2 Russell M Nelson ldquoCelestial Marriagerdquo Ensign Nov 2008 93

3 Jeffrey R Holland ldquoWe Are All Enlistedrdquo Ensign Nov 2011 45

4 ldquoMessage to the Youth from The First Presi-dencyrdquo For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

5 John Bytheway ldquoWhat Do Kisses Meanrdquo New Era Oct 2004 38ndash41

Last but not least dating

academy graduates know how

to conclude a date on the right

note Nothing sours a great date

more than a bad ending

Herersquos how you can finish a

date with success

Tips

bull Express gratitude Be sincere

and to the point If there was something you especially

liked tell your date what

it was

bull Therersquos no reason for drag-

ging things on at this point

Yoursquove already spent plenty

of time together Avoid the

ldquodoorstep shufflerdquo When

people arenrsquot sure what to

say they tend to shuffle backand forth or move their feet

in place If you find yourself

ldquoshufflingrdquo in place itrsquos a

pretty good signal that you

need to say good-bye

bull Know and follow the

Churchrsquos counsel on kissing

and physical intimacy (You

might also want to read John

Bythewayrsquos article ldquoWhat Do

Kisses Meanrdquo5 at ldsorggo

kissesNE8)

Homework

Yes herersquos another opportunity for practicing Our family has spent several family

home evenings role-playing doorstep good-byes Itrsquos been both helpful and fun to

watch an older sibling coach the younger sibling with dorsquos and donrsquots

Most memorable was an older sister showing how she could turn a hug into a

handshake with the grace of a princess and the speed of a ninja You too can get

together with family members and role-play different scenarios that might happen on

a doorstep We guarantee itrsquoll be an academy night yoursquoll all remember

Gr983137du983137tio983150

If yoursquove studied all the

material worked on the tips done

the homework and talked through

the lessons with your parents and

family you too can become a

dating academy graduate

As you continue strengthening

these important skills yoursquoll find

support strength and power that

will bless your relationships both

now and in the future You will be

better prepared for happiness NE

Do Try This at HomeInterested in having a dating academy at

home Let your parents know therersquos an RDAarticle for them in this monthrsquos Ensign or atldsorggoRDA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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32 N e w E r a

S U N DA Y L E S S

O N S

This Monthrsquos Topic

Ma r r iage a nd

Fa m i l y

MARRIAGE IS WORTH ITldquoIt is so rewarding to bemarried Marriage is wonder-ful In time you begin to thinkalike and have the same ideasand impressions You havetimes when you are extremelyhappy times of testing andtimes of trial but the Lordguides you through all ofthose growth experiencestogetherrdquo

Elder Richard G Scott of the

Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo

Ensign May 2011 96

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 33

We love being marr ied and he

rersquos why

By Ben and Rachel Nielsen

Letrsquos face it girls (and boys) itrsquos nice to know that someone loves you

And when yoursquore married you have chances to share and receive love every

day When I was talking to my parents about the possibility of marrying

Ben my dad said ldquoWhomever you choose to marry I want him to fre-

quently and sincerely express his love for you like Elder Richard G Scott did

for his wiferdquo3 I listened to Dad

I decided to marry Ben and he has always made an effort to express

his love to me in small and big ways During my senior year of college I

worked for months to prepare apply and interview for a prestigious intern-ship And when I finally heard that I got the job I came home and saw a

vase full of flowers from my husband He knew how hard I had worked and

how much the internship meant to me At other times hersquoll hide my favorite

drink and a love note in the fridge before he heads out for a weekend Scout

camp And every day hersquoll do the dishes and make me laugh Ben is great at

expressing his love for me and that brings both of us great joy

During my mission in Brazil I grew to love soccer One thing that I lovemost about this sport is having teammates and learning how to work together

with my team Rachel is a fantastic teammate She helps me achieve my

goals joins me in making important decisions and is there for me when I

have trouble

When we were sealed in the temple we promised to ldquohelp one another as

equal partnersrdquo2 Rachel and I strive to support each other in everything we

do and itrsquos great to know that I always have a reliable teammate

After our first date we both

knew we wanted to go

on a second date Ben

wanted to go on

another date because Rachel was

friendly and fun to talk to Rachel

wanted to go on another date

because Ben was a gentleman

and was still smiling after all of

his well-laid plans fell through

After the second date plus manymore dates and prayers after

that we fell in love and decided

to get married in the Sacramento

California Temple

The wedding day was abso-

lutely perfect and we have loved

being married ever since The

world may see marriage differ-

ently but we know that ldquono other

relationship of any kind canbring as much joy generate as

much good or produce as much

personal refinementrdquo1 Marriage

is awesome and herersquos why

FROM BEN A T e a m m a t e

FROM RACHEL

E x p r e s s i o n s o f L o v e

WHY MARRIAGE IS

A w e s o m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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34 N e w E r a

JOIN THE CONVERSATION

Things to Ponder for Sunday

bull What qualities and attitudes make for the strongest

and happiest marriages and families

bull What are you doing now that will help your future

marriage and family stay strong and happy

Things You Might Do

bull Share with some friends your goal of marrying and

having a family and tell them why

bull In church share why you are looking forward

to marriage and family and how you are pre-

paring for them

serving in the Church and inviting others to come unto

Christ As we work together to build the kingdom of God

we grow closer our love deepens and life is more fulfilling

Dating Rachel is so much fun In fact we make surethat we still frequently go on dates even as a married

couple After we first met we found that we enjoy many

of the same activities walking through parks attending

plays watching sporting events eating new and different

food listening to music and so much more I loved doing

these things before I met Rachel but theyrsquore even more

fun now that we get to share them together When yoursquore

married you have someone to enjoy life withmdashand that

makes life awesome

Before I met Ben I was nearing the age of missionary

service and had seriously considered serving a full-time

mission But then Ben entered my life and I knew that

Heavenly Father had a different plan for me

When Ben and I got engaged relatives who knew

about my thoughts to serve a mission asked me about my

choice and I would tell them ldquoI decided that I wanted topick my own missionary companionmdashand stay with him

for eternityrdquo

When yoursquore married you and your spouse have the

chance to participate in the work of salvation together

Ben and I have found great joy in building a Christ-

centered home studying and living the gospel together

Despite what the world may say marriage is awesome

and is worth making a priority When yoursquore married you

have a teammate you give and receive love you enjoy life

more fully and you have someone to build the kingdom

of God with All of that brings us great joy and because

we were sealed in the temple we can have this joy forever

If we keep our covenants we will be together for eternityand receive the crowning blessings of the priesthood We

ldquohave found in marriage the richest fulfillment of human

existencerdquo 4 NE

Ben and Rachel Nielsen live in Utah USA

NOTES

1 L Whitney Clayton ldquoMarriage Watch and Learnrdquo Ensign May 2013 83 2 ldquoThe Family A Proclamation to the Worldrdquo Ensign Nov 2010 129 3 See Richard G Scott ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo Ensign May

2011 96 4 James E Faust ldquoEnriching Your Marriagerdquo Ensign Apr 2007 6

FROM BEN M o r e E n jo y m e n t

FROM RACHEL A n E t e r n a l M is s i o n a r y C o m p a n io n

TAKE IT FROM US

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Your family can help unite the family of GodYou can all share the gospel in natural and pleasant ways

P H O T O I L L U S T R A T I O N B Y D A V I D S T O K E R

M O R M O N A D

(See M Russell Ballard ldquoPut Your Trust in the Lordrdquo Ensign Nov 2013 43)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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36 N e w E r a

By Alex Larsen

I always knew I wanted to be a mother but when I was grow-

ing up it wasnrsquot always on my mind When my fianceacute and I

were engaged one day I was talking with one of my college

professorsmdasha woman I greatly admiredmdashabout my engage-

ment She said something that brought my life choices into sharp

focus ldquoYou are wasting your talentrdquo she told me as she shook

her head She went on to say that someone as smart as I was

should not get married young She assumed I would have chil-

dren in my future and would be ldquothrowing awayrdquo my education

and chances of a stellar career on my future motherhood I could

tell by the way she looked at me that she thought I was making

a terrible and naiumlve mistake

Itrsquos been several years since that conversation and my hus-

band and I have two little girls Kate is three years old and is

my little sweetheart She moves through life at a leisurely pace

savoring all of the little details she notices Annabel is one yearold with bright blue eyes and a head of curls Shersquos exuberant

and determined Though I didnrsquot change my mind because of

what my professor said our discussion has stayed with me In

one way my professorrsquos predictions were correct I do not have

a prestigious working career But my professor got the most

important point wrong because I have wasted nothing

g i v i n

g u p e v e r y

t hi n g

but wh a t

I

g a i n ed

w as w o r t h so much m o r e

T h e wor l d t o l d me

I w ould

b e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 37

their spirits growing and developing I remember

the first time Kate pointed to a picture of the Savior and

said ldquoJesusrdquo I knew then that what I was doing was eter-

nally significant in the lives of my children

The world often tells us that lifersquos rewards come in

the form of status money or grand accomplishments

but I know therersquos great satisfaction even in the small

acts of changing diapers or wiping sticky fingers Every

little thing I do as a mother is part of helping to build the

kingdom of God by nurturing His children I always knew

I wanted children but it was not until I held my first baby

in my arms that I began to realize how much my heart

was capable of loving

The love I have for my daughters has helped me bet-

ter understand how much my Heavenly Father loves all

of His children When speaking of little children Jesustaught that ldquoof such is the kingdom of heavenrdquo (Matthew

1914) More than anything motherhood has helped me

to grow as a daughter of God because now I know what

a daughter of God looks like from the eyes of a parent

The world makes us think that a woman loses herself in

motherhoodmdashshe loses her body her free time and her

career But I have found myself in motherhood I feel

more beautiful and more valuable than ever before NE

Alex Larsen lives in California USA

I love the opportunity to stay home and care for my

young children because these are the most formative

years of their lives I have the opportunity to create a rich

home environment for my girls by reading and discussing

things with them as part of our everyday life Kate will

often astound me by remembering and commenting on

something wersquod read in a book several weeks before and

Annabel learns a new skill almost every day But as fun

and important as it is to watch them learn new

information and skills I feel the

most satisfied when I see

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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38 N e w E r a

One o f t h e g r e a t e s t ad v enture s o f y o u r l i f e w i l l b e y our rol e a n d c a l l i n g a s a f a t her

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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ROcksROcksROcks

NOTE

1 See Thomas S Monson ldquoWelcome to Conferencerdquo Ensign Nov 2012 4ndash5

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 39

DA D D A DD AD

By Chris Deaver

W

hen I was younger I loved spending time

with my dad He always knew the bestgames to play the best stories to tell at night

and the most interesting sports to try It was

like he was born to be a great dad

Fast-forward my life to when I married my sweetheart

Julia and then even further to the moment that our first

child Daniel was born I was filled with a rush of emo-

tions I was happy shocked amazed and a little scared

I felt totally inadequate to be a father and to have the

responsibility of teaching and being an example to my son

But I quickly realized that Irsquod been preparing all my life tobe a dad When I held my son in my arms for the first time

and looked down into his face I felt the Spirit touch my

heart and I realized that I was ready to try to be a great

dad just like my own dad was to me

When Daniel was very young he already had a great

sense of humor He learned to tell hilarious jokes that

would make my wife and me laugh He also often said

things that inspired us Shortly after hearing President

Thomas S Monson announce the change in age require-

ments for young men and young women preparingto serve missions1 we were driving in the car Daniel

announced that he would start preparing himself right

then at age six so he would have 12 years of preparation

Then he said with a smile ldquoDad can I change the song

from lsquoI Hope They Call Me on a Missionrsquo to lsquoI AM Going on

a Missionrsquordquo It was awesome

WHYbeing a

Three years after Daniel was born he was followed by his

brother Austin For me as a dad itrsquos been great to watch bothboys become best friends And Austin has been just as fun

as Daniel in his own way He enjoys building and destroying

block towers and one of his favorite activities is to fearlessly

wrestle me as if I stand no chance against his four-year-old

powers Of course I give in and let him winmdashso I guess I

reinforce his belief But itrsquos so much fun I know hersquoll be a

great wrestler but what I want most is for him to wrestle

ldquoagainst the rulers of the darkness of this worldrdquo and ldquoagainst

spiritual wickednessrdquo like it says in the scriptures (Ephesians

612) And I hope Irsquom helping to prepare him to do that We just recently had our third child a baby girl named

Faith During the delivery my wife was having some com-

plications and we were scared for our baby I gave Julia

a blessing Then she asked me to sing to her The Spirit

brought peace to both of us Soon baby Faith came safely

into the world It was a miracle and she definitely lived up

to her name Faithrsquos beautiful smile brightens my life I canrsquot

express in words how much she means to me

For any young man still wondering let me tell you You

were born to be a great dad The world may not agree butfatherhood is the best Someday yoursquoll find that your kids

inspire you too and that being a dad is the greatest adven-

ture of your life Yes itrsquos a duty and something you need to

take seriously but being a dad is unlike anything else NE

Chris Deaver lives in Florida USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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40 N e w E r a

We always seem to be encouraged to read more

because well everyone knows that reading is a

good thing But not all books are worth reading and just

because sexual material is written about rather than pho-

tographed or video recorded doesnrsquot mean that itrsquos less

morally hazardous Making a common display of a sacred

intimacy thatrsquos intended to only be part of a marriage rela-

tionship is wrongmdashwhether in words or imagesIf something yoursquore reading contains explicit sexual

descriptions that imprint themselves on your mind and

arouse sexual feelings in the same way that looking at

pornographic images would then guess what Itrsquos pornog-

raphy Remember the counsel in For the Strength of Youth

ldquoChoose wisely when using media because whatever you

read listen to or look at has an effect on you Select only

media that uplifts yourdquo ([2011] 11) NE

T O T H E P O I N T

President Boyd K

Packer President of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoEach

of us must come to ourown personal testimony

of the Lord Jesus Christ

We then share that testi-

mony with our family and

othersrdquo1 It can sometimes

be easy to question the

depth of your testimony

I know looking at pornographic

pictures is wrong but whatabout reading books with

ldquoromanticrdquo scenes

If I donrsquot have a burning

desire to share thegospel does that mean I

donrsquot have a testimony

when you compare your-

self to people like Brigham

Young who once said ldquoI

wanted to thunder and

roar out the gospel to thenations It burned in my

bones like fire pent uprdquo2

So what if you donrsquot feel

fire in your bones

Hopefully your lack of

desire doesnrsquot come from

a lack of concern for your

fellowmen As your faith in

Jesus Christ grows so does

your love of all people a

love that is a mark of the

true followers of Christ (see

Moroni 748 John 1335)

Itrsquos likely however

that your hesitancy sim-

ply comes from fear and

anxiety about speaking toothers For many people

such feelings can be over-

whelming Even prophets

have had doubts about their

ability to speak to people

(see Exodus 410 Moses

631) They of course

had no reason to question

their testimoniesmdashand

neither should you if you

are studying the scriptures

pondering praying fasting

repenting and doing all the

other things that help bring

the Spirit into your life

If you feel you just

need a little extra cour-age to share the gos-

pel visit ldsorggo

shareNE8 for ideas NE

NOTES

1 Boyd K Packer ldquoThe Witnessrdquo Ensign May 2014 96

2 Teachings of Presidents ofthe Church Brigham Young (1997) viii

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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C O M E F O L L O W M E

Family

983152983137tter983150 of

President Boyd K PackerPresident of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

April 2014 general conference

The ultimate end

of all activity in

the Church is that

a man and his wife

and their childrencan be happy

at home

The FamilyYoursquoll be studying about the family in your Sunday classes

this month As you study and discuss family you may pon-der these questions Why do Church leaders emphasize

family so much What is the place of family in Heavenly

Fatherrsquos plan How does family help make us happy

To find some answers to these questions see the

family proclamation near the back of your Personal

Progress or Duty to God booklet or online at ldsorg

gofamilyNE8 Yoursquoll also find teachings about

family relationships in general conference talks at

conferenceldsorg

Give yourself an easy reminder to prepare for your

Sunday lessons on the family Just place these cards

in your scriptures locker or bedroom You can also

download or share them online at ldsorggocardsNE8 B A C K G R O U N D T E X T U R E

B Y I S T O C K P H O T O T H I N K S T O C K

We 983150eed We 983150eed

MOR E

983155tre983150983143the983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

RELATIONSHIPS

983153u983137lity 983153u983137lity TIME amp EFFORT INTO

TO PUT

983155re983150983143te983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4452

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4552

T H E E X T R A S M I L E

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 43

I dont like to pack so I rsquo m just wearing all my stuff

JON CLARK

W h a t m a k e s y o

u t h i n k

D a d rsquo s t a l k i n g t o

t h e

p r o p h e t

B ecaus e h e s ai d h e w as on a conf er ence cal l

RYAN STOKER

F r o m n o w o n j u s t t a k e

a p i c t u r e o f t h e t o o t h a n

d

u p l o a d i t t o m y F a c e b o o k

p a g e

a n d t h e n I rsquo l l s e n d y o u t h e

m o n e y t h r o u g h P a y P a l

RANDY GLASBERGEN

[Gasp] He he made h is bed this morning

And I didnrsquo t even ask

VAL CHADWICK BAGLEY

Who says there arenrsquo t modern m iracles

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4652

44 N e w E r a

ldquoMymom works

Since you donrsquot see your mom often make sure that

the time you do have together is used well You

could talk to your mom about how to do this She

wants a good relationship with you too and will

help you work on it Try asking her what she would

appreciate coming home to a clean house doing an activity

together just talking with you As you regularly do activities your mom appreciates your relationship will improve

Of course you could plan some fun activities to do together

but any meaningful time togethermdashsuch as washing the dishes

or reading the scripturesmdashcan be a great way to build your

relationship

Also plan time for communication Understanding one

another is a key ingredient in good relationships One thing

to discuss is how your momrsquos work schedule will affect your

relationship with her You can avoid misunderstandings if you

talk about your expectations as well as your momrsquosPrayer will help Families are important to Heavenly Father

so He can inspire you to know how to improve your relation-

ship with your mom Donrsquot ignore a prompting to do something

that seems small (see Alma 376) A hug and a smile for exam-

ple can make a big difference NE

Write a Note

Even if you have very

little time together you

can still express your

love to your mother

Write her thoughtful secret notes As

she reads them at work she will think

of you Do as much as you can for

her Think about her more often and

pray for her Ask the Lord to inspire

you and prompt you regarding how

you can improve your relationship Irinka E 20 Odessa Ukraine

Seek to Understand Her

Try to understand her situation

because she works for your benefit

You can begin by helping with things

at home like cleaning the house

helping your siblings and cooking

You also can share scriptures with

your mom pray together and doactivities that you like to do together

Morony M 18 Chihuahua Mexico

Have a Special Sunday

On some Sundays we

have a special lunch

or dinner with a new

dessert we talk and at

the end we sing hymns This brings

us together and helps us be betterfriends

Rebeca N 12 Satildeo Paulo Brazil

Try an Experiment

We arrange time to be together hav-

ing family home evening playing

games going to the beach having

lunch together All of this helps to

Q U E S T I O N S amp A N S W E R S

all day Howcan I improve our

relationshiprdquo

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4752

keep the flame of a good relationship

alive When we disagree we avoid

criticizing I know that sometimes I

ask not to do housework but this

contributes to disharmony in the

home Since I began this experiment

mdashcomplaining less lowering my

voice helping more with housework

and talking more with my mothermdash

a sweet spirit has developed in our

home and we cooperate more

Glenda C 18 Bahia Brazil

Help at Home

Do some extra chores

around the house Your

mom has been work-

ing all day If she has

less work to do when she gets home

shersquoll probably be happier and have

more time to talk and do things with

you While you are talking you canask about her day at work It will

show her that you care and it will

open doors for other topics of discus-

sion allowing you to grow closer

Heather B 18 Oregon USA

Find Something You BothLike to Do

My mumrsquos relationship with me

skyrocketed when I said ldquoI want tospend more time with you but I donrsquot

know what to do or when to do itrdquo

Playing board games happens to be

our favorite pastime So we set aside

a time together to play laugh and

make memories When you are open

with your parents eventually they

become your best companions You

UPCOMING QUESTION

ldquoMy parents just

got divorced Irsquom angry that they

have broken up our

family How doI forgive themrdquo

Send your answer and photo by

September 15 2014

Go to neweraldsorg click ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo enter your LDS Accountand then select ldquoNew Erardquo

Responses may be edited for length

or clarity

Responses are intended for help and per-

spective not as official pronouncements ofChurch doctrine

will be able to talk to them about

anything and you will be sure of an

honest answer That is the sign of a

mature relationship

Ephraim S 15 New South Wales Australia

Read Scriptures Together

Both of you could set a goal to read

together every day even just five

minutes from the Book of Mormon

or any other Church book It will

strengthen your relationship andnourish you with the word of God

so you can be ready to face each day

Remember also to pray to God and

ask for His help I know He hears you

and loves you

Laura M 19 Coacuterdoba Argentina

LEARN FROM

YOUR MOTHER

ldquoPlease look to yourfaithful mothers fora pattern to followModel yourselves

after them not after celebritieswhose standards are not the Lordrsquosstandards and whose values maynot reflect an eternal perspectiveLook to your mother Learn fromher strengths her courage andher faithfulness Listen to her She

may not be a whiz at texting shemay not even have a Facebookpage But when it comes to mat-ters of the heart and the thingsof the Lord she has a wealth ofknowledgerdquo

Elder M Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles ldquoMothers and Daughtersrdquo

Ensign May 2010 19

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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46 N e w E r a

MISERABLE TOTHE END OFTHE STREET

For one family home evening my

dad wanted to take advantage

of a pause in the rainy weather

to go on a walk around the neighbor-

hood I grumbled and complained

that it was too wet and muddy to

go walking I used the excuse that

I had a ballet recital that week and

didnrsquot want to sprain an ankle but

my dad didnrsquot buy it He insisted thatit was going to be the activity for the

evening I murmured a bit more about

the unfairness and my recital but we

left on the walk anyway

As I glumly stomped outside for

the walk with my family I was deter-

mined not to smile or be happy I

succeeded in feeling miserable until

I N S T A N T M E S S A G E S

we reached the end of the street Then

we turned the corner and I saw in full

force naturersquos beauty and wonder

Before me was a gorgeous sunset

and opposite it was a rainbow arching

above our neighborhood rooftops

I immediately forgot all about being

miserable and looked around in awe

On the way home I said a prayer of

gratitude thanking God for the beautyof His creations I later thanked my

dad for choosing the activity and for

allowing us to enjoy nature for that

family home evening

Jennie H North Carolina USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 47

STANDARDS AND FRIENDS

Since Irsquove been in school Irsquove had friends who havenrsquot understood the

moral standards of our religion At first it was difficult but over time

my friends have become used to the idea of my being morally clean I

made a goal in my life to be clean and pure and itrsquos worked out well both

for me and for those who used to criticize me Over time respect peace and

joy have become a part of our loving circle of friends

Vitoacuteria M Brazil

A DIFFICULT DECISION

FORGIVINGMY FRIENDS

As the only member of the

Church in my peer group

Irsquove experienced some

instances when my friends have

offended me Sometimes they judge

and criticize my religion I feel so

alone yet Irsquom thankful I know the

standards of the Church

If my friends offend me I try to

humble myself and avoid contention

because I know contention is evil When they start discussing some mat-

ters about the Church I just testify of

my belief in the gospel

I always forgive my friends with or

without their apology Forgiving is not

just about saying ldquoApology acceptedrdquo

or ldquoItrsquos OKrdquo because forgiveness has

a deep meaning Jesus Christ atoned

for our sins so that Heavenly Father

can forgive usEven though my friends donrsquot

understand my faith now I know that

I can be Godrsquos instrument to teach

them the gospel I am helping them

and at the same time I am helping

myself to grow spiritually and prepare

to serve a mission

Joshua V Philippines

As volleyball tryouts approached for my senior year in high

school I couldnrsquot believe the thought that was running through

my head I wasnrsquot supposed to play volleyball Irsquod played vol-

leyball since seventh grademdashwhy should this year be any different

Not seeing the sense in quitting I ignored the feeling and continued

to participate in summer volleyball events After a while the feeling

came back so I decided that if I really wasnrsquot supposed to be on the

team my coach would just cut me during tryouts

Then one night at the gym I couldnrsquot focus on the game at all I felt

terrible and restless inside I came home frustrated with my team and

with myself I sat next to my mom and sister and cried I told them

how confused I was and my mom told me to pray and ask Heavenly

Father what He wanted me to do I went up to my room and began to

pray I told Heavenly Father how I felt then I asked Him to help mefeel peace if I was not supposed to continue playing volleyball I felt

His peace in my heart and knew that I needed to quit

Irsquom still not sure all the reasons why that was the right

decision but I know that itrsquos what the Lord

wanted me to do and thatrsquos a good

enough reason for me

The next morning I told my

coach and my teammates that

I wasnrsquot going to be playing

Even though it was incrediblyhard I knew I was doing

the right thing

Klaire B Arizona USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5152

you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5252

WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2652

24 N e w E r a

BOA R D

GA M E S

B y Da vid Chris tensen

My chance to play le f t

a lasting impact but it

wasnrsquot what Irsquod e xpected

L o s i n

g s o

q u i c k

l y w

a s b

a d e

n o u

g h

b

u t t o

m a k

e m

a t t e r s

w o r s e

t h

e o t h

e r g

u y

s s t a r t e

d t o

m a k

e

f u n

o f

m e

I

t r i e d

t o c o

n t i n

u e

p l a y i n g

e v e

n t h

o u

g h

t h e y

w e r

e b

e i n

g m

e a n

b

u t i t

w a s h

a r d t o h o

l d b

a c k m y t e

a r s

o f f r u s t

r a t i o n

U

n f o

r t u n a t e l y

o n e t e

a r t r i c k l e

d d

o w

n m y

c h e e

k b

e f o

r e I

c o u

l d w i p

e i t

a w a y M

y b

r o t h

e r

s a w i t

a n d

t e a s e

d m

e t o

o

I c o

u l d

n rsquo t

t a k e i t

a n y

m o r e

a n d

r a n t o

m y

r o o m

I g a v e m y s e l

f a q u i c k p i n

c h

t o m a k e s u r

e I w a s n rsquo

t d r e a m i n g

a n d t h e

n I v o i c e d

a t i m i d ldquo Y e

a h

s u r e rdquo I s t

i l l c o u l d

n rsquo t b e l i e

v e t h a t

m y b r o t h e

r h a d i n v

i t e d m e t o

p l a y a g a m e w i t h

t h e ldquo b i g k i

d s rdquo

A f t e r a l l

I rsquo d b e e n t o l d f o r t h

r e e

y e a r s t h a

t I w a s s t i l l

t o o y o u

n g

t o p l a y m o r e d i f fi

c u l t b o a

r d

g a m e s w i t h m y b r o

t h e r a n d

h i s f r i e n d s

A N D B R O

T H

E R S

I

felt the hot tears of anger slowly slide

down my face I wiped them away with

my hand but I could still feel the

slightly salty taste on my lips assobs of anguish began to pour out

I just wanted to hang out with my

brother Why couldnrsquot he be my

friend too

J u s t a f e w

h o u r s

b e f o

r e I h a d

s t a r e d a t

m y o

l d e r b

r o t h

e r S t e v e

i n c o

m p

l e t e s u r p

r i s e

w a i t i n

g f o r h

i m t o

t e

l l

m e t h

a t h e w

a s o n

l y

j o k i n g ldquo W

e l l d o y o

u

w a n

t t o p

l a y rdquo S t e v e

a s k e d i m p

a

t i e n t l y

I w

e n t i n t o t h e

r o o m w h

e r e t h e

o l d e r b o y s

w e r e

s e t t i n g u p

t h e b o a r d

g a m e A s t h e

g a m e s t a r t e d

w i t h

e v e r y o n e s t r a t e g i c a l l y

p l a c i n g

t h e i r g a m

e

p i e c e s

I f e l t l i k e

I w

a s d r e a

m i n g F o r

t h e fi r s t t i m

e

I f e l t e q u a l t o

m y b r o t h e r mdash

n o t l i k e I

w a s j u s t h i s

t a g a l o n g

T h e d r e a m

e n d e d q u i c k

l y h o w e v e r

T h e

g a m e w

a s t o u g h

a n d m y i n

e x p e r i e n c e

a n d l a c k

o f k n o w l e d g e

b e c

a m e

p a i n f u l l y o b v i o u s

a s t h e o t

h e r

p l a y e r s q u i c k l y

a n d

s o u n d l y d e f e a t e d

m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2752

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2852

26 N e w E r a

Le983137r983150i983150983143 the i983150s 983137983150d outs of d983137ti983150983143 c983137983150 be h983137rd Let this course tur983150 you

i983150to 983137 d983137ti983150983143 983152ro

By Matthew ORichardson

Served as Second

Counselor in theSunday SchoolGeneral Presidencyfrom 2009 to 2014

hile speaking to youth about how to prepare for a celestial marriage

President Thomas S Monson emphasized that ldquoproper dating is a part

of preparation for marriagerdquo 1 Have you thought much about happy

relationships Elder Russell M Nelson of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said a ldquocelestial marriage brings greater possibilities for happiness than

does any other relationshiprdquo2

When I was serving as bishop in a young single adult ward I worried about those

who approached dating with very little purpose understanding or direction This

caused me to wonder if my own children would be any different when their time came

My wife and I decided to help our children prepare for ldquoproper datingrdquo and happy rela-tionships by creating the Richardson Dating Academy or RDA as our children call it

It wasnrsquot long after we started the RDA that friends of our children wanted to partici-

pate and even become RDA graduates So how about you Are you ready to become a

dating academy graduate yourself Class is in session

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 27

Lesso983150 1 ur983152oses 983137983150d St983137983150d983137rds of D983137ti983150983143

Lesso983150 2 W983137tch 983137983150d Le983137r983150

Homework

As you know ldquodatingrdquo means different things to differ-

ent people Your first assignment is to figure out just what

a ldquodaterdquo is according to Church standards Can you explain

the purposes of dating and the specific dating standards and

guidelines set by the Church Or do you know when itrsquosmost appropriate to be involved in dating and steady dating

(having a boyfriend or girlfriend)

You can find answers to these questions in the ldquoDatingrdquo

section of For the Strength of Youth The First Presidency

reminds us why knowing and understanding these stan-

dards are so important They promise ldquoThe standards in this

Elder Jeffrey R Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles once explained that most athletic contests have ldquolines

drawn on the floor or the field within which every participant

must stay in order to competerdquo3 Success depends on how

well a competitor knows and stays within the set boundaries

Likewise itrsquos important to know the ldquodating linesrdquo or the pur-

poses and standards of dating as taught by Church leaders

One of the most com-

mon ways people learn

is by watching others

Dating is no different

In the dating academy

we spend time observ-

ing others in dating

situations In our family

we learned many point-ersmdashsome to do others

to avoidmdashby watching

dates in progress at

restaurants and other

settings Yes we went to

certain places with the

sole purpose to observe

dates for ldquoclassrdquo

booklet will help you with the important choices you are

making now and will yet make in the futurerdquo4

Now that you have a solid foundation of the stan-

dards and purposes of dating (you did do your home-

work and read that section didnrsquot you) itrsquos time to move

on to lesson 2

Tips

Here are some suggestions that will help you learn

as you observe

bull Watch but donrsquot be creepy This is about learning from

others but not stalking staring or even judging Look for

things you like and things you would like to avoid

bull Go to a variety of places and settings to observe others

Not every date is the same nor should it be Watch how thesetting affects the experience

bull Watch how people interact with each other Can you tell

who is with whom Are they paying attention to each

other In what ways Are they talking with each other Do

they look like they enjoy being with each other How can

you tell if they are having fun

bull Talk with a parent leader or good friends and share what

you noticed and what you learned

Homework

The next time you go

out to eat attend a movie

or go to almost any activ-

ity make an effort to look

around and see how other

people are interacting It

may surprise you to see

how much dating is actu-ally going on Take the

time to learn from those

around you by paying

attention to whatrsquos work-

ing and what isnrsquot

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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28 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 3 l983137983150983150i983150983143 983137 D983137te

Tips

bull Start planning early

bull Donrsquot be afraid to bounce ideas off your friendsparents and others They can provide excellent

suggestions that you havenrsquot even thought about

bull Make sure you let your budget amount of time

available the reasons for dating and Church stan-

dards guide your planning

bull Think of what you hope will happen during the

date from beginning to end This helps you realize

what needs to be done to make the date a success

bull Pay attention to details Call ahead for event times

prices menus and what the proper dress is for

the occasion

bull Plan for emergencies For example what will you

do if you donrsquot have enough money or have car

trouble What if your date gets sick

Homework

Rather than leaving everything to chance dating acad-

emy grads understand what needs to happen and theyplan accordingly

Your homework assignment even if yoursquore years away

from dating is to practice planning an event You can

brainstorm with friends really fun ideas for a date Then

work together to think of what planning is required to

make those ideas actually happen Or you can ask your

parents to let you plan the next family outing

You might choose a place to eat or what to do Plan all

the details (event times travel time cost backup plans)

and then put your plan into action You could evencome up with a dating plan complete with backup ideas

if something goes wrong and share it in family home

evening while talking together around the dinner table

or with friends You may find that properly planning an

activity is almost as much fun as the actual date

The quality of experience yoursquoll have with others is

often determined by what happens before a date begins

Showing up on your datersquos doorstep with no plan is a

recipe for an awkward experience Nobody likes playing

the ldquoWhat do you want to dordquo game

Yoursquore better than that With a little practice you can

become a date-planning champion And young women

no fair skipping this section While most of the time young

men plan and ask for dates yoursquoll still want to have these

skills down for when itrsquos your turn

Group Date IdeasNeed ideas Check out ldsorggoideasNE8 Some

of the youth activities there could be adapted for dates

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 3152

Homework

In the Richardson Dating Academy all of our

children practiced dating invitations For example

our children might call an aunt older sibling or other

family member to practice inviting someone on a

date Or our son or daughter would receive an invita-

tion from a family member and practice responding

They learned how to deal with rejection acceptance

or even a disinterested response or two

Now itrsquos your turn Working with your parents ask

them to line up somebody in your family you can call

and practice inviting on a date Make sure you do this

more than once

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 29

You know your dating standards front and back

yoursquove watched others in dating situations and

yoursquove come up with a solid date plan

Congratulations Now you still need to invite

someone Or you need to know how to respond

when you are invited So whatrsquos the best way A

phone call Ask in person Here are some different

points to consider

Lesso983150 4 I983150viti983150983143 Others 983137983150d Bei983150983143 I983150vited

Tips

bull Be ready to give details when you invite

someone on a date Talk about what you have

planned start and end times whorsquos participat-ing and how they should dress (casual dressy

etc) Your excellent planning from academy

lesson 3 makes this part of the academy easy

bull Therersquos a time to talk by phone and a time to

ask face-to-face The more important the event

is the more personal the invitation should be

Donrsquot be afraid to skip technology and actually

talk with someone

bull Some events may require you to speak with

your datersquos parents first This shows respectand courtesy

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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30 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 5 O983150 the D983137te

It would be impossible for any dating academy to cover

every little thing to consider or plan for in dating So much

depends on good judgment communication with your par-

ents and listening to the Spirit

Still here are a few key points you might want to brush

up on before putting your date plan into action

Tips

bull Develop a ldquoyou firstrdquo attitude This means you always

think of your date first Is he or she having fun Is he or

she comfortable

bull Make sure you dress appropriately for the occasion

The way you dress usually communicates how you feelabout others and about the event Know the difference

between casual (but never sloppy) semiformal and

formal and when it would be appropriate to dress in

those ways

bull Show common courtesy by opening doors saying

thank you talking less about yourself and more about

your date and extending sincere compliments

bull Learn how to navigate restaurants Know how to make

a reservation get a table calculate a service tip and

pay the bill

Homework

Once again the best way to learn any good skill is by practic-

ing it Our youth enjoyed role-playing different situations

to think about how to act most appropriately We

also loved going out to eat as part of the dating acad-

emy experience Our children learned how to act in

a restaurant order a meal calculate the tip and paythe bill by actually doing it when they were with us

Look for opportunities to practice skills you should use on a

date For example the next time you and your family go some-

where ask your parents to let you purchase the tickets order

the meal or calculate the tip Treat your family or friends with

the same respect and courtesy that you should show others on a

date Open doors for your family be the first to say ldquothank yourdquo

and pay attention so you are part of the conversation

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 31

Lesso983150 6 The Doorste983152

NOTES

1 Thomas S Monson ldquoPreparation BringsBlessingsrdquo Ensign May 2010 64

2 Russell M Nelson ldquoCelestial Marriagerdquo Ensign Nov 2008 93

3 Jeffrey R Holland ldquoWe Are All Enlistedrdquo Ensign Nov 2011 45

4 ldquoMessage to the Youth from The First Presi-dencyrdquo For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

5 John Bytheway ldquoWhat Do Kisses Meanrdquo New Era Oct 2004 38ndash41

Last but not least dating

academy graduates know how

to conclude a date on the right

note Nothing sours a great date

more than a bad ending

Herersquos how you can finish a

date with success

Tips

bull Express gratitude Be sincere

and to the point If there was something you especially

liked tell your date what

it was

bull Therersquos no reason for drag-

ging things on at this point

Yoursquove already spent plenty

of time together Avoid the

ldquodoorstep shufflerdquo When

people arenrsquot sure what to

say they tend to shuffle backand forth or move their feet

in place If you find yourself

ldquoshufflingrdquo in place itrsquos a

pretty good signal that you

need to say good-bye

bull Know and follow the

Churchrsquos counsel on kissing

and physical intimacy (You

might also want to read John

Bythewayrsquos article ldquoWhat Do

Kisses Meanrdquo5 at ldsorggo

kissesNE8)

Homework

Yes herersquos another opportunity for practicing Our family has spent several family

home evenings role-playing doorstep good-byes Itrsquos been both helpful and fun to

watch an older sibling coach the younger sibling with dorsquos and donrsquots

Most memorable was an older sister showing how she could turn a hug into a

handshake with the grace of a princess and the speed of a ninja You too can get

together with family members and role-play different scenarios that might happen on

a doorstep We guarantee itrsquoll be an academy night yoursquoll all remember

Gr983137du983137tio983150

If yoursquove studied all the

material worked on the tips done

the homework and talked through

the lessons with your parents and

family you too can become a

dating academy graduate

As you continue strengthening

these important skills yoursquoll find

support strength and power that

will bless your relationships both

now and in the future You will be

better prepared for happiness NE

Do Try This at HomeInterested in having a dating academy at

home Let your parents know therersquos an RDAarticle for them in this monthrsquos Ensign or atldsorggoRDA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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32 N e w E r a

S U N DA Y L E S S

O N S

This Monthrsquos Topic

Ma r r iage a nd

Fa m i l y

MARRIAGE IS WORTH ITldquoIt is so rewarding to bemarried Marriage is wonder-ful In time you begin to thinkalike and have the same ideasand impressions You havetimes when you are extremelyhappy times of testing andtimes of trial but the Lordguides you through all ofthose growth experiencestogetherrdquo

Elder Richard G Scott of the

Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo

Ensign May 2011 96

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 33

We love being marr ied and he

rersquos why

By Ben and Rachel Nielsen

Letrsquos face it girls (and boys) itrsquos nice to know that someone loves you

And when yoursquore married you have chances to share and receive love every

day When I was talking to my parents about the possibility of marrying

Ben my dad said ldquoWhomever you choose to marry I want him to fre-

quently and sincerely express his love for you like Elder Richard G Scott did

for his wiferdquo3 I listened to Dad

I decided to marry Ben and he has always made an effort to express

his love to me in small and big ways During my senior year of college I

worked for months to prepare apply and interview for a prestigious intern-ship And when I finally heard that I got the job I came home and saw a

vase full of flowers from my husband He knew how hard I had worked and

how much the internship meant to me At other times hersquoll hide my favorite

drink and a love note in the fridge before he heads out for a weekend Scout

camp And every day hersquoll do the dishes and make me laugh Ben is great at

expressing his love for me and that brings both of us great joy

During my mission in Brazil I grew to love soccer One thing that I lovemost about this sport is having teammates and learning how to work together

with my team Rachel is a fantastic teammate She helps me achieve my

goals joins me in making important decisions and is there for me when I

have trouble

When we were sealed in the temple we promised to ldquohelp one another as

equal partnersrdquo2 Rachel and I strive to support each other in everything we

do and itrsquos great to know that I always have a reliable teammate

After our first date we both

knew we wanted to go

on a second date Ben

wanted to go on

another date because Rachel was

friendly and fun to talk to Rachel

wanted to go on another date

because Ben was a gentleman

and was still smiling after all of

his well-laid plans fell through

After the second date plus manymore dates and prayers after

that we fell in love and decided

to get married in the Sacramento

California Temple

The wedding day was abso-

lutely perfect and we have loved

being married ever since The

world may see marriage differ-

ently but we know that ldquono other

relationship of any kind canbring as much joy generate as

much good or produce as much

personal refinementrdquo1 Marriage

is awesome and herersquos why

FROM BEN A T e a m m a t e

FROM RACHEL

E x p r e s s i o n s o f L o v e

WHY MARRIAGE IS

A w e s o m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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34 N e w E r a

JOIN THE CONVERSATION

Things to Ponder for Sunday

bull What qualities and attitudes make for the strongest

and happiest marriages and families

bull What are you doing now that will help your future

marriage and family stay strong and happy

Things You Might Do

bull Share with some friends your goal of marrying and

having a family and tell them why

bull In church share why you are looking forward

to marriage and family and how you are pre-

paring for them

serving in the Church and inviting others to come unto

Christ As we work together to build the kingdom of God

we grow closer our love deepens and life is more fulfilling

Dating Rachel is so much fun In fact we make surethat we still frequently go on dates even as a married

couple After we first met we found that we enjoy many

of the same activities walking through parks attending

plays watching sporting events eating new and different

food listening to music and so much more I loved doing

these things before I met Rachel but theyrsquore even more

fun now that we get to share them together When yoursquore

married you have someone to enjoy life withmdashand that

makes life awesome

Before I met Ben I was nearing the age of missionary

service and had seriously considered serving a full-time

mission But then Ben entered my life and I knew that

Heavenly Father had a different plan for me

When Ben and I got engaged relatives who knew

about my thoughts to serve a mission asked me about my

choice and I would tell them ldquoI decided that I wanted topick my own missionary companionmdashand stay with him

for eternityrdquo

When yoursquore married you and your spouse have the

chance to participate in the work of salvation together

Ben and I have found great joy in building a Christ-

centered home studying and living the gospel together

Despite what the world may say marriage is awesome

and is worth making a priority When yoursquore married you

have a teammate you give and receive love you enjoy life

more fully and you have someone to build the kingdom

of God with All of that brings us great joy and because

we were sealed in the temple we can have this joy forever

If we keep our covenants we will be together for eternityand receive the crowning blessings of the priesthood We

ldquohave found in marriage the richest fulfillment of human

existencerdquo 4 NE

Ben and Rachel Nielsen live in Utah USA

NOTES

1 L Whitney Clayton ldquoMarriage Watch and Learnrdquo Ensign May 2013 83 2 ldquoThe Family A Proclamation to the Worldrdquo Ensign Nov 2010 129 3 See Richard G Scott ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo Ensign May

2011 96 4 James E Faust ldquoEnriching Your Marriagerdquo Ensign Apr 2007 6

FROM BEN M o r e E n jo y m e n t

FROM RACHEL A n E t e r n a l M is s i o n a r y C o m p a n io n

TAKE IT FROM US

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Your family can help unite the family of GodYou can all share the gospel in natural and pleasant ways

P H O T O I L L U S T R A T I O N B Y D A V I D S T O K E R

M O R M O N A D

(See M Russell Ballard ldquoPut Your Trust in the Lordrdquo Ensign Nov 2013 43)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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36 N e w E r a

By Alex Larsen

I always knew I wanted to be a mother but when I was grow-

ing up it wasnrsquot always on my mind When my fianceacute and I

were engaged one day I was talking with one of my college

professorsmdasha woman I greatly admiredmdashabout my engage-

ment She said something that brought my life choices into sharp

focus ldquoYou are wasting your talentrdquo she told me as she shook

her head She went on to say that someone as smart as I was

should not get married young She assumed I would have chil-

dren in my future and would be ldquothrowing awayrdquo my education

and chances of a stellar career on my future motherhood I could

tell by the way she looked at me that she thought I was making

a terrible and naiumlve mistake

Itrsquos been several years since that conversation and my hus-

band and I have two little girls Kate is three years old and is

my little sweetheart She moves through life at a leisurely pace

savoring all of the little details she notices Annabel is one yearold with bright blue eyes and a head of curls Shersquos exuberant

and determined Though I didnrsquot change my mind because of

what my professor said our discussion has stayed with me In

one way my professorrsquos predictions were correct I do not have

a prestigious working career But my professor got the most

important point wrong because I have wasted nothing

g i v i n

g u p e v e r y

t hi n g

but wh a t

I

g a i n ed

w as w o r t h so much m o r e

T h e wor l d t o l d me

I w ould

b e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 37

their spirits growing and developing I remember

the first time Kate pointed to a picture of the Savior and

said ldquoJesusrdquo I knew then that what I was doing was eter-

nally significant in the lives of my children

The world often tells us that lifersquos rewards come in

the form of status money or grand accomplishments

but I know therersquos great satisfaction even in the small

acts of changing diapers or wiping sticky fingers Every

little thing I do as a mother is part of helping to build the

kingdom of God by nurturing His children I always knew

I wanted children but it was not until I held my first baby

in my arms that I began to realize how much my heart

was capable of loving

The love I have for my daughters has helped me bet-

ter understand how much my Heavenly Father loves all

of His children When speaking of little children Jesustaught that ldquoof such is the kingdom of heavenrdquo (Matthew

1914) More than anything motherhood has helped me

to grow as a daughter of God because now I know what

a daughter of God looks like from the eyes of a parent

The world makes us think that a woman loses herself in

motherhoodmdashshe loses her body her free time and her

career But I have found myself in motherhood I feel

more beautiful and more valuable than ever before NE

Alex Larsen lives in California USA

I love the opportunity to stay home and care for my

young children because these are the most formative

years of their lives I have the opportunity to create a rich

home environment for my girls by reading and discussing

things with them as part of our everyday life Kate will

often astound me by remembering and commenting on

something wersquod read in a book several weeks before and

Annabel learns a new skill almost every day But as fun

and important as it is to watch them learn new

information and skills I feel the

most satisfied when I see

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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38 N e w E r a

One o f t h e g r e a t e s t ad v enture s o f y o u r l i f e w i l l b e y our rol e a n d c a l l i n g a s a f a t her

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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ROcksROcksROcks

NOTE

1 See Thomas S Monson ldquoWelcome to Conferencerdquo Ensign Nov 2012 4ndash5

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 39

DA D D A DD AD

By Chris Deaver

W

hen I was younger I loved spending time

with my dad He always knew the bestgames to play the best stories to tell at night

and the most interesting sports to try It was

like he was born to be a great dad

Fast-forward my life to when I married my sweetheart

Julia and then even further to the moment that our first

child Daniel was born I was filled with a rush of emo-

tions I was happy shocked amazed and a little scared

I felt totally inadequate to be a father and to have the

responsibility of teaching and being an example to my son

But I quickly realized that Irsquod been preparing all my life tobe a dad When I held my son in my arms for the first time

and looked down into his face I felt the Spirit touch my

heart and I realized that I was ready to try to be a great

dad just like my own dad was to me

When Daniel was very young he already had a great

sense of humor He learned to tell hilarious jokes that

would make my wife and me laugh He also often said

things that inspired us Shortly after hearing President

Thomas S Monson announce the change in age require-

ments for young men and young women preparingto serve missions1 we were driving in the car Daniel

announced that he would start preparing himself right

then at age six so he would have 12 years of preparation

Then he said with a smile ldquoDad can I change the song

from lsquoI Hope They Call Me on a Missionrsquo to lsquoI AM Going on

a Missionrsquordquo It was awesome

WHYbeing a

Three years after Daniel was born he was followed by his

brother Austin For me as a dad itrsquos been great to watch bothboys become best friends And Austin has been just as fun

as Daniel in his own way He enjoys building and destroying

block towers and one of his favorite activities is to fearlessly

wrestle me as if I stand no chance against his four-year-old

powers Of course I give in and let him winmdashso I guess I

reinforce his belief But itrsquos so much fun I know hersquoll be a

great wrestler but what I want most is for him to wrestle

ldquoagainst the rulers of the darkness of this worldrdquo and ldquoagainst

spiritual wickednessrdquo like it says in the scriptures (Ephesians

612) And I hope Irsquom helping to prepare him to do that We just recently had our third child a baby girl named

Faith During the delivery my wife was having some com-

plications and we were scared for our baby I gave Julia

a blessing Then she asked me to sing to her The Spirit

brought peace to both of us Soon baby Faith came safely

into the world It was a miracle and she definitely lived up

to her name Faithrsquos beautiful smile brightens my life I canrsquot

express in words how much she means to me

For any young man still wondering let me tell you You

were born to be a great dad The world may not agree butfatherhood is the best Someday yoursquoll find that your kids

inspire you too and that being a dad is the greatest adven-

ture of your life Yes itrsquos a duty and something you need to

take seriously but being a dad is unlike anything else NE

Chris Deaver lives in Florida USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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40 N e w E r a

We always seem to be encouraged to read more

because well everyone knows that reading is a

good thing But not all books are worth reading and just

because sexual material is written about rather than pho-

tographed or video recorded doesnrsquot mean that itrsquos less

morally hazardous Making a common display of a sacred

intimacy thatrsquos intended to only be part of a marriage rela-

tionship is wrongmdashwhether in words or imagesIf something yoursquore reading contains explicit sexual

descriptions that imprint themselves on your mind and

arouse sexual feelings in the same way that looking at

pornographic images would then guess what Itrsquos pornog-

raphy Remember the counsel in For the Strength of Youth

ldquoChoose wisely when using media because whatever you

read listen to or look at has an effect on you Select only

media that uplifts yourdquo ([2011] 11) NE

T O T H E P O I N T

President Boyd K

Packer President of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoEach

of us must come to ourown personal testimony

of the Lord Jesus Christ

We then share that testi-

mony with our family and

othersrdquo1 It can sometimes

be easy to question the

depth of your testimony

I know looking at pornographic

pictures is wrong but whatabout reading books with

ldquoromanticrdquo scenes

If I donrsquot have a burning

desire to share thegospel does that mean I

donrsquot have a testimony

when you compare your-

self to people like Brigham

Young who once said ldquoI

wanted to thunder and

roar out the gospel to thenations It burned in my

bones like fire pent uprdquo2

So what if you donrsquot feel

fire in your bones

Hopefully your lack of

desire doesnrsquot come from

a lack of concern for your

fellowmen As your faith in

Jesus Christ grows so does

your love of all people a

love that is a mark of the

true followers of Christ (see

Moroni 748 John 1335)

Itrsquos likely however

that your hesitancy sim-

ply comes from fear and

anxiety about speaking toothers For many people

such feelings can be over-

whelming Even prophets

have had doubts about their

ability to speak to people

(see Exodus 410 Moses

631) They of course

had no reason to question

their testimoniesmdashand

neither should you if you

are studying the scriptures

pondering praying fasting

repenting and doing all the

other things that help bring

the Spirit into your life

If you feel you just

need a little extra cour-age to share the gos-

pel visit ldsorggo

shareNE8 for ideas NE

NOTES

1 Boyd K Packer ldquoThe Witnessrdquo Ensign May 2014 96

2 Teachings of Presidents ofthe Church Brigham Young (1997) viii

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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C O M E F O L L O W M E

Family

983152983137tter983150 of

President Boyd K PackerPresident of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

April 2014 general conference

The ultimate end

of all activity in

the Church is that

a man and his wife

and their childrencan be happy

at home

The FamilyYoursquoll be studying about the family in your Sunday classes

this month As you study and discuss family you may pon-der these questions Why do Church leaders emphasize

family so much What is the place of family in Heavenly

Fatherrsquos plan How does family help make us happy

To find some answers to these questions see the

family proclamation near the back of your Personal

Progress or Duty to God booklet or online at ldsorg

gofamilyNE8 Yoursquoll also find teachings about

family relationships in general conference talks at

conferenceldsorg

Give yourself an easy reminder to prepare for your

Sunday lessons on the family Just place these cards

in your scriptures locker or bedroom You can also

download or share them online at ldsorggocardsNE8 B A C K G R O U N D T E X T U R E

B Y I S T O C K P H O T O T H I N K S T O C K

We 983150eed We 983150eed

MOR E

983155tre983150983143the983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

RELATIONSHIPS

983153u983137lity 983153u983137lity TIME amp EFFORT INTO

TO PUT

983155re983150983143te983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4452

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4552

T H E E X T R A S M I L E

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 43

I dont like to pack so I rsquo m just wearing all my stuff

JON CLARK

W h a t m a k e s y o

u t h i n k

D a d rsquo s t a l k i n g t o

t h e

p r o p h e t

B ecaus e h e s ai d h e w as on a conf er ence cal l

RYAN STOKER

F r o m n o w o n j u s t t a k e

a p i c t u r e o f t h e t o o t h a n

d

u p l o a d i t t o m y F a c e b o o k

p a g e

a n d t h e n I rsquo l l s e n d y o u t h e

m o n e y t h r o u g h P a y P a l

RANDY GLASBERGEN

[Gasp] He he made h is bed this morning

And I didnrsquo t even ask

VAL CHADWICK BAGLEY

Who says there arenrsquo t modern m iracles

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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44 N e w E r a

ldquoMymom works

Since you donrsquot see your mom often make sure that

the time you do have together is used well You

could talk to your mom about how to do this She

wants a good relationship with you too and will

help you work on it Try asking her what she would

appreciate coming home to a clean house doing an activity

together just talking with you As you regularly do activities your mom appreciates your relationship will improve

Of course you could plan some fun activities to do together

but any meaningful time togethermdashsuch as washing the dishes

or reading the scripturesmdashcan be a great way to build your

relationship

Also plan time for communication Understanding one

another is a key ingredient in good relationships One thing

to discuss is how your momrsquos work schedule will affect your

relationship with her You can avoid misunderstandings if you

talk about your expectations as well as your momrsquosPrayer will help Families are important to Heavenly Father

so He can inspire you to know how to improve your relation-

ship with your mom Donrsquot ignore a prompting to do something

that seems small (see Alma 376) A hug and a smile for exam-

ple can make a big difference NE

Write a Note

Even if you have very

little time together you

can still express your

love to your mother

Write her thoughtful secret notes As

she reads them at work she will think

of you Do as much as you can for

her Think about her more often and

pray for her Ask the Lord to inspire

you and prompt you regarding how

you can improve your relationship Irinka E 20 Odessa Ukraine

Seek to Understand Her

Try to understand her situation

because she works for your benefit

You can begin by helping with things

at home like cleaning the house

helping your siblings and cooking

You also can share scriptures with

your mom pray together and doactivities that you like to do together

Morony M 18 Chihuahua Mexico

Have a Special Sunday

On some Sundays we

have a special lunch

or dinner with a new

dessert we talk and at

the end we sing hymns This brings

us together and helps us be betterfriends

Rebeca N 12 Satildeo Paulo Brazil

Try an Experiment

We arrange time to be together hav-

ing family home evening playing

games going to the beach having

lunch together All of this helps to

Q U E S T I O N S amp A N S W E R S

all day Howcan I improve our

relationshiprdquo

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4752

keep the flame of a good relationship

alive When we disagree we avoid

criticizing I know that sometimes I

ask not to do housework but this

contributes to disharmony in the

home Since I began this experiment

mdashcomplaining less lowering my

voice helping more with housework

and talking more with my mothermdash

a sweet spirit has developed in our

home and we cooperate more

Glenda C 18 Bahia Brazil

Help at Home

Do some extra chores

around the house Your

mom has been work-

ing all day If she has

less work to do when she gets home

shersquoll probably be happier and have

more time to talk and do things with

you While you are talking you canask about her day at work It will

show her that you care and it will

open doors for other topics of discus-

sion allowing you to grow closer

Heather B 18 Oregon USA

Find Something You BothLike to Do

My mumrsquos relationship with me

skyrocketed when I said ldquoI want tospend more time with you but I donrsquot

know what to do or when to do itrdquo

Playing board games happens to be

our favorite pastime So we set aside

a time together to play laugh and

make memories When you are open

with your parents eventually they

become your best companions You

UPCOMING QUESTION

ldquoMy parents just

got divorced Irsquom angry that they

have broken up our

family How doI forgive themrdquo

Send your answer and photo by

September 15 2014

Go to neweraldsorg click ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo enter your LDS Accountand then select ldquoNew Erardquo

Responses may be edited for length

or clarity

Responses are intended for help and per-

spective not as official pronouncements ofChurch doctrine

will be able to talk to them about

anything and you will be sure of an

honest answer That is the sign of a

mature relationship

Ephraim S 15 New South Wales Australia

Read Scriptures Together

Both of you could set a goal to read

together every day even just five

minutes from the Book of Mormon

or any other Church book It will

strengthen your relationship andnourish you with the word of God

so you can be ready to face each day

Remember also to pray to God and

ask for His help I know He hears you

and loves you

Laura M 19 Coacuterdoba Argentina

LEARN FROM

YOUR MOTHER

ldquoPlease look to yourfaithful mothers fora pattern to followModel yourselves

after them not after celebritieswhose standards are not the Lordrsquosstandards and whose values maynot reflect an eternal perspectiveLook to your mother Learn fromher strengths her courage andher faithfulness Listen to her She

may not be a whiz at texting shemay not even have a Facebookpage But when it comes to mat-ters of the heart and the thingsof the Lord she has a wealth ofknowledgerdquo

Elder M Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles ldquoMothers and Daughtersrdquo

Ensign May 2010 19

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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46 N e w E r a

MISERABLE TOTHE END OFTHE STREET

For one family home evening my

dad wanted to take advantage

of a pause in the rainy weather

to go on a walk around the neighbor-

hood I grumbled and complained

that it was too wet and muddy to

go walking I used the excuse that

I had a ballet recital that week and

didnrsquot want to sprain an ankle but

my dad didnrsquot buy it He insisted thatit was going to be the activity for the

evening I murmured a bit more about

the unfairness and my recital but we

left on the walk anyway

As I glumly stomped outside for

the walk with my family I was deter-

mined not to smile or be happy I

succeeded in feeling miserable until

I N S T A N T M E S S A G E S

we reached the end of the street Then

we turned the corner and I saw in full

force naturersquos beauty and wonder

Before me was a gorgeous sunset

and opposite it was a rainbow arching

above our neighborhood rooftops

I immediately forgot all about being

miserable and looked around in awe

On the way home I said a prayer of

gratitude thanking God for the beautyof His creations I later thanked my

dad for choosing the activity and for

allowing us to enjoy nature for that

family home evening

Jennie H North Carolina USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 47

STANDARDS AND FRIENDS

Since Irsquove been in school Irsquove had friends who havenrsquot understood the

moral standards of our religion At first it was difficult but over time

my friends have become used to the idea of my being morally clean I

made a goal in my life to be clean and pure and itrsquos worked out well both

for me and for those who used to criticize me Over time respect peace and

joy have become a part of our loving circle of friends

Vitoacuteria M Brazil

A DIFFICULT DECISION

FORGIVINGMY FRIENDS

As the only member of the

Church in my peer group

Irsquove experienced some

instances when my friends have

offended me Sometimes they judge

and criticize my religion I feel so

alone yet Irsquom thankful I know the

standards of the Church

If my friends offend me I try to

humble myself and avoid contention

because I know contention is evil When they start discussing some mat-

ters about the Church I just testify of

my belief in the gospel

I always forgive my friends with or

without their apology Forgiving is not

just about saying ldquoApology acceptedrdquo

or ldquoItrsquos OKrdquo because forgiveness has

a deep meaning Jesus Christ atoned

for our sins so that Heavenly Father

can forgive usEven though my friends donrsquot

understand my faith now I know that

I can be Godrsquos instrument to teach

them the gospel I am helping them

and at the same time I am helping

myself to grow spiritually and prepare

to serve a mission

Joshua V Philippines

As volleyball tryouts approached for my senior year in high

school I couldnrsquot believe the thought that was running through

my head I wasnrsquot supposed to play volleyball Irsquod played vol-

leyball since seventh grademdashwhy should this year be any different

Not seeing the sense in quitting I ignored the feeling and continued

to participate in summer volleyball events After a while the feeling

came back so I decided that if I really wasnrsquot supposed to be on the

team my coach would just cut me during tryouts

Then one night at the gym I couldnrsquot focus on the game at all I felt

terrible and restless inside I came home frustrated with my team and

with myself I sat next to my mom and sister and cried I told them

how confused I was and my mom told me to pray and ask Heavenly

Father what He wanted me to do I went up to my room and began to

pray I told Heavenly Father how I felt then I asked Him to help mefeel peace if I was not supposed to continue playing volleyball I felt

His peace in my heart and knew that I needed to quit

Irsquom still not sure all the reasons why that was the right

decision but I know that itrsquos what the Lord

wanted me to do and thatrsquos a good

enough reason for me

The next morning I told my

coach and my teammates that

I wasnrsquot going to be playing

Even though it was incrediblyhard I knew I was doing

the right thing

Klaire B Arizona USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5152

you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5252

WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2752

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2852

26 N e w E r a

Le983137r983150i983150983143 the i983150s 983137983150d outs of d983137ti983150983143 c983137983150 be h983137rd Let this course tur983150 you

i983150to 983137 d983137ti983150983143 983152ro

By Matthew ORichardson

Served as Second

Counselor in theSunday SchoolGeneral Presidencyfrom 2009 to 2014

hile speaking to youth about how to prepare for a celestial marriage

President Thomas S Monson emphasized that ldquoproper dating is a part

of preparation for marriagerdquo 1 Have you thought much about happy

relationships Elder Russell M Nelson of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said a ldquocelestial marriage brings greater possibilities for happiness than

does any other relationshiprdquo2

When I was serving as bishop in a young single adult ward I worried about those

who approached dating with very little purpose understanding or direction This

caused me to wonder if my own children would be any different when their time came

My wife and I decided to help our children prepare for ldquoproper datingrdquo and happy rela-tionships by creating the Richardson Dating Academy or RDA as our children call it

It wasnrsquot long after we started the RDA that friends of our children wanted to partici-

pate and even become RDA graduates So how about you Are you ready to become a

dating academy graduate yourself Class is in session

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2952

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 27

Lesso983150 1 ur983152oses 983137983150d St983137983150d983137rds of D983137ti983150983143

Lesso983150 2 W983137tch 983137983150d Le983137r983150

Homework

As you know ldquodatingrdquo means different things to differ-

ent people Your first assignment is to figure out just what

a ldquodaterdquo is according to Church standards Can you explain

the purposes of dating and the specific dating standards and

guidelines set by the Church Or do you know when itrsquosmost appropriate to be involved in dating and steady dating

(having a boyfriend or girlfriend)

You can find answers to these questions in the ldquoDatingrdquo

section of For the Strength of Youth The First Presidency

reminds us why knowing and understanding these stan-

dards are so important They promise ldquoThe standards in this

Elder Jeffrey R Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles once explained that most athletic contests have ldquolines

drawn on the floor or the field within which every participant

must stay in order to competerdquo3 Success depends on how

well a competitor knows and stays within the set boundaries

Likewise itrsquos important to know the ldquodating linesrdquo or the pur-

poses and standards of dating as taught by Church leaders

One of the most com-

mon ways people learn

is by watching others

Dating is no different

In the dating academy

we spend time observ-

ing others in dating

situations In our family

we learned many point-ersmdashsome to do others

to avoidmdashby watching

dates in progress at

restaurants and other

settings Yes we went to

certain places with the

sole purpose to observe

dates for ldquoclassrdquo

booklet will help you with the important choices you are

making now and will yet make in the futurerdquo4

Now that you have a solid foundation of the stan-

dards and purposes of dating (you did do your home-

work and read that section didnrsquot you) itrsquos time to move

on to lesson 2

Tips

Here are some suggestions that will help you learn

as you observe

bull Watch but donrsquot be creepy This is about learning from

others but not stalking staring or even judging Look for

things you like and things you would like to avoid

bull Go to a variety of places and settings to observe others

Not every date is the same nor should it be Watch how thesetting affects the experience

bull Watch how people interact with each other Can you tell

who is with whom Are they paying attention to each

other In what ways Are they talking with each other Do

they look like they enjoy being with each other How can

you tell if they are having fun

bull Talk with a parent leader or good friends and share what

you noticed and what you learned

Homework

The next time you go

out to eat attend a movie

or go to almost any activ-

ity make an effort to look

around and see how other

people are interacting It

may surprise you to see

how much dating is actu-ally going on Take the

time to learn from those

around you by paying

attention to whatrsquos work-

ing and what isnrsquot

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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28 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 3 l983137983150983150i983150983143 983137 D983137te

Tips

bull Start planning early

bull Donrsquot be afraid to bounce ideas off your friendsparents and others They can provide excellent

suggestions that you havenrsquot even thought about

bull Make sure you let your budget amount of time

available the reasons for dating and Church stan-

dards guide your planning

bull Think of what you hope will happen during the

date from beginning to end This helps you realize

what needs to be done to make the date a success

bull Pay attention to details Call ahead for event times

prices menus and what the proper dress is for

the occasion

bull Plan for emergencies For example what will you

do if you donrsquot have enough money or have car

trouble What if your date gets sick

Homework

Rather than leaving everything to chance dating acad-

emy grads understand what needs to happen and theyplan accordingly

Your homework assignment even if yoursquore years away

from dating is to practice planning an event You can

brainstorm with friends really fun ideas for a date Then

work together to think of what planning is required to

make those ideas actually happen Or you can ask your

parents to let you plan the next family outing

You might choose a place to eat or what to do Plan all

the details (event times travel time cost backup plans)

and then put your plan into action You could evencome up with a dating plan complete with backup ideas

if something goes wrong and share it in family home

evening while talking together around the dinner table

or with friends You may find that properly planning an

activity is almost as much fun as the actual date

The quality of experience yoursquoll have with others is

often determined by what happens before a date begins

Showing up on your datersquos doorstep with no plan is a

recipe for an awkward experience Nobody likes playing

the ldquoWhat do you want to dordquo game

Yoursquore better than that With a little practice you can

become a date-planning champion And young women

no fair skipping this section While most of the time young

men plan and ask for dates yoursquoll still want to have these

skills down for when itrsquos your turn

Group Date IdeasNeed ideas Check out ldsorggoideasNE8 Some

of the youth activities there could be adapted for dates

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Homework

In the Richardson Dating Academy all of our

children practiced dating invitations For example

our children might call an aunt older sibling or other

family member to practice inviting someone on a

date Or our son or daughter would receive an invita-

tion from a family member and practice responding

They learned how to deal with rejection acceptance

or even a disinterested response or two

Now itrsquos your turn Working with your parents ask

them to line up somebody in your family you can call

and practice inviting on a date Make sure you do this

more than once

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 29

You know your dating standards front and back

yoursquove watched others in dating situations and

yoursquove come up with a solid date plan

Congratulations Now you still need to invite

someone Or you need to know how to respond

when you are invited So whatrsquos the best way A

phone call Ask in person Here are some different

points to consider

Lesso983150 4 I983150viti983150983143 Others 983137983150d Bei983150983143 I983150vited

Tips

bull Be ready to give details when you invite

someone on a date Talk about what you have

planned start and end times whorsquos participat-ing and how they should dress (casual dressy

etc) Your excellent planning from academy

lesson 3 makes this part of the academy easy

bull Therersquos a time to talk by phone and a time to

ask face-to-face The more important the event

is the more personal the invitation should be

Donrsquot be afraid to skip technology and actually

talk with someone

bull Some events may require you to speak with

your datersquos parents first This shows respectand courtesy

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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30 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 5 O983150 the D983137te

It would be impossible for any dating academy to cover

every little thing to consider or plan for in dating So much

depends on good judgment communication with your par-

ents and listening to the Spirit

Still here are a few key points you might want to brush

up on before putting your date plan into action

Tips

bull Develop a ldquoyou firstrdquo attitude This means you always

think of your date first Is he or she having fun Is he or

she comfortable

bull Make sure you dress appropriately for the occasion

The way you dress usually communicates how you feelabout others and about the event Know the difference

between casual (but never sloppy) semiformal and

formal and when it would be appropriate to dress in

those ways

bull Show common courtesy by opening doors saying

thank you talking less about yourself and more about

your date and extending sincere compliments

bull Learn how to navigate restaurants Know how to make

a reservation get a table calculate a service tip and

pay the bill

Homework

Once again the best way to learn any good skill is by practic-

ing it Our youth enjoyed role-playing different situations

to think about how to act most appropriately We

also loved going out to eat as part of the dating acad-

emy experience Our children learned how to act in

a restaurant order a meal calculate the tip and paythe bill by actually doing it when they were with us

Look for opportunities to practice skills you should use on a

date For example the next time you and your family go some-

where ask your parents to let you purchase the tickets order

the meal or calculate the tip Treat your family or friends with

the same respect and courtesy that you should show others on a

date Open doors for your family be the first to say ldquothank yourdquo

and pay attention so you are part of the conversation

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 31

Lesso983150 6 The Doorste983152

NOTES

1 Thomas S Monson ldquoPreparation BringsBlessingsrdquo Ensign May 2010 64

2 Russell M Nelson ldquoCelestial Marriagerdquo Ensign Nov 2008 93

3 Jeffrey R Holland ldquoWe Are All Enlistedrdquo Ensign Nov 2011 45

4 ldquoMessage to the Youth from The First Presi-dencyrdquo For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

5 John Bytheway ldquoWhat Do Kisses Meanrdquo New Era Oct 2004 38ndash41

Last but not least dating

academy graduates know how

to conclude a date on the right

note Nothing sours a great date

more than a bad ending

Herersquos how you can finish a

date with success

Tips

bull Express gratitude Be sincere

and to the point If there was something you especially

liked tell your date what

it was

bull Therersquos no reason for drag-

ging things on at this point

Yoursquove already spent plenty

of time together Avoid the

ldquodoorstep shufflerdquo When

people arenrsquot sure what to

say they tend to shuffle backand forth or move their feet

in place If you find yourself

ldquoshufflingrdquo in place itrsquos a

pretty good signal that you

need to say good-bye

bull Know and follow the

Churchrsquos counsel on kissing

and physical intimacy (You

might also want to read John

Bythewayrsquos article ldquoWhat Do

Kisses Meanrdquo5 at ldsorggo

kissesNE8)

Homework

Yes herersquos another opportunity for practicing Our family has spent several family

home evenings role-playing doorstep good-byes Itrsquos been both helpful and fun to

watch an older sibling coach the younger sibling with dorsquos and donrsquots

Most memorable was an older sister showing how she could turn a hug into a

handshake with the grace of a princess and the speed of a ninja You too can get

together with family members and role-play different scenarios that might happen on

a doorstep We guarantee itrsquoll be an academy night yoursquoll all remember

Gr983137du983137tio983150

If yoursquove studied all the

material worked on the tips done

the homework and talked through

the lessons with your parents and

family you too can become a

dating academy graduate

As you continue strengthening

these important skills yoursquoll find

support strength and power that

will bless your relationships both

now and in the future You will be

better prepared for happiness NE

Do Try This at HomeInterested in having a dating academy at

home Let your parents know therersquos an RDAarticle for them in this monthrsquos Ensign or atldsorggoRDA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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32 N e w E r a

S U N DA Y L E S S

O N S

This Monthrsquos Topic

Ma r r iage a nd

Fa m i l y

MARRIAGE IS WORTH ITldquoIt is so rewarding to bemarried Marriage is wonder-ful In time you begin to thinkalike and have the same ideasand impressions You havetimes when you are extremelyhappy times of testing andtimes of trial but the Lordguides you through all ofthose growth experiencestogetherrdquo

Elder Richard G Scott of the

Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo

Ensign May 2011 96

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 33

We love being marr ied and he

rersquos why

By Ben and Rachel Nielsen

Letrsquos face it girls (and boys) itrsquos nice to know that someone loves you

And when yoursquore married you have chances to share and receive love every

day When I was talking to my parents about the possibility of marrying

Ben my dad said ldquoWhomever you choose to marry I want him to fre-

quently and sincerely express his love for you like Elder Richard G Scott did

for his wiferdquo3 I listened to Dad

I decided to marry Ben and he has always made an effort to express

his love to me in small and big ways During my senior year of college I

worked for months to prepare apply and interview for a prestigious intern-ship And when I finally heard that I got the job I came home and saw a

vase full of flowers from my husband He knew how hard I had worked and

how much the internship meant to me At other times hersquoll hide my favorite

drink and a love note in the fridge before he heads out for a weekend Scout

camp And every day hersquoll do the dishes and make me laugh Ben is great at

expressing his love for me and that brings both of us great joy

During my mission in Brazil I grew to love soccer One thing that I lovemost about this sport is having teammates and learning how to work together

with my team Rachel is a fantastic teammate She helps me achieve my

goals joins me in making important decisions and is there for me when I

have trouble

When we were sealed in the temple we promised to ldquohelp one another as

equal partnersrdquo2 Rachel and I strive to support each other in everything we

do and itrsquos great to know that I always have a reliable teammate

After our first date we both

knew we wanted to go

on a second date Ben

wanted to go on

another date because Rachel was

friendly and fun to talk to Rachel

wanted to go on another date

because Ben was a gentleman

and was still smiling after all of

his well-laid plans fell through

After the second date plus manymore dates and prayers after

that we fell in love and decided

to get married in the Sacramento

California Temple

The wedding day was abso-

lutely perfect and we have loved

being married ever since The

world may see marriage differ-

ently but we know that ldquono other

relationship of any kind canbring as much joy generate as

much good or produce as much

personal refinementrdquo1 Marriage

is awesome and herersquos why

FROM BEN A T e a m m a t e

FROM RACHEL

E x p r e s s i o n s o f L o v e

WHY MARRIAGE IS

A w e s o m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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34 N e w E r a

JOIN THE CONVERSATION

Things to Ponder for Sunday

bull What qualities and attitudes make for the strongest

and happiest marriages and families

bull What are you doing now that will help your future

marriage and family stay strong and happy

Things You Might Do

bull Share with some friends your goal of marrying and

having a family and tell them why

bull In church share why you are looking forward

to marriage and family and how you are pre-

paring for them

serving in the Church and inviting others to come unto

Christ As we work together to build the kingdom of God

we grow closer our love deepens and life is more fulfilling

Dating Rachel is so much fun In fact we make surethat we still frequently go on dates even as a married

couple After we first met we found that we enjoy many

of the same activities walking through parks attending

plays watching sporting events eating new and different

food listening to music and so much more I loved doing

these things before I met Rachel but theyrsquore even more

fun now that we get to share them together When yoursquore

married you have someone to enjoy life withmdashand that

makes life awesome

Before I met Ben I was nearing the age of missionary

service and had seriously considered serving a full-time

mission But then Ben entered my life and I knew that

Heavenly Father had a different plan for me

When Ben and I got engaged relatives who knew

about my thoughts to serve a mission asked me about my

choice and I would tell them ldquoI decided that I wanted topick my own missionary companionmdashand stay with him

for eternityrdquo

When yoursquore married you and your spouse have the

chance to participate in the work of salvation together

Ben and I have found great joy in building a Christ-

centered home studying and living the gospel together

Despite what the world may say marriage is awesome

and is worth making a priority When yoursquore married you

have a teammate you give and receive love you enjoy life

more fully and you have someone to build the kingdom

of God with All of that brings us great joy and because

we were sealed in the temple we can have this joy forever

If we keep our covenants we will be together for eternityand receive the crowning blessings of the priesthood We

ldquohave found in marriage the richest fulfillment of human

existencerdquo 4 NE

Ben and Rachel Nielsen live in Utah USA

NOTES

1 L Whitney Clayton ldquoMarriage Watch and Learnrdquo Ensign May 2013 83 2 ldquoThe Family A Proclamation to the Worldrdquo Ensign Nov 2010 129 3 See Richard G Scott ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo Ensign May

2011 96 4 James E Faust ldquoEnriching Your Marriagerdquo Ensign Apr 2007 6

FROM BEN M o r e E n jo y m e n t

FROM RACHEL A n E t e r n a l M is s i o n a r y C o m p a n io n

TAKE IT FROM US

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Your family can help unite the family of GodYou can all share the gospel in natural and pleasant ways

P H O T O I L L U S T R A T I O N B Y D A V I D S T O K E R

M O R M O N A D

(See M Russell Ballard ldquoPut Your Trust in the Lordrdquo Ensign Nov 2013 43)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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36 N e w E r a

By Alex Larsen

I always knew I wanted to be a mother but when I was grow-

ing up it wasnrsquot always on my mind When my fianceacute and I

were engaged one day I was talking with one of my college

professorsmdasha woman I greatly admiredmdashabout my engage-

ment She said something that brought my life choices into sharp

focus ldquoYou are wasting your talentrdquo she told me as she shook

her head She went on to say that someone as smart as I was

should not get married young She assumed I would have chil-

dren in my future and would be ldquothrowing awayrdquo my education

and chances of a stellar career on my future motherhood I could

tell by the way she looked at me that she thought I was making

a terrible and naiumlve mistake

Itrsquos been several years since that conversation and my hus-

band and I have two little girls Kate is three years old and is

my little sweetheart She moves through life at a leisurely pace

savoring all of the little details she notices Annabel is one yearold with bright blue eyes and a head of curls Shersquos exuberant

and determined Though I didnrsquot change my mind because of

what my professor said our discussion has stayed with me In

one way my professorrsquos predictions were correct I do not have

a prestigious working career But my professor got the most

important point wrong because I have wasted nothing

g i v i n

g u p e v e r y

t hi n g

but wh a t

I

g a i n ed

w as w o r t h so much m o r e

T h e wor l d t o l d me

I w ould

b e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 37

their spirits growing and developing I remember

the first time Kate pointed to a picture of the Savior and

said ldquoJesusrdquo I knew then that what I was doing was eter-

nally significant in the lives of my children

The world often tells us that lifersquos rewards come in

the form of status money or grand accomplishments

but I know therersquos great satisfaction even in the small

acts of changing diapers or wiping sticky fingers Every

little thing I do as a mother is part of helping to build the

kingdom of God by nurturing His children I always knew

I wanted children but it was not until I held my first baby

in my arms that I began to realize how much my heart

was capable of loving

The love I have for my daughters has helped me bet-

ter understand how much my Heavenly Father loves all

of His children When speaking of little children Jesustaught that ldquoof such is the kingdom of heavenrdquo (Matthew

1914) More than anything motherhood has helped me

to grow as a daughter of God because now I know what

a daughter of God looks like from the eyes of a parent

The world makes us think that a woman loses herself in

motherhoodmdashshe loses her body her free time and her

career But I have found myself in motherhood I feel

more beautiful and more valuable than ever before NE

Alex Larsen lives in California USA

I love the opportunity to stay home and care for my

young children because these are the most formative

years of their lives I have the opportunity to create a rich

home environment for my girls by reading and discussing

things with them as part of our everyday life Kate will

often astound me by remembering and commenting on

something wersquod read in a book several weeks before and

Annabel learns a new skill almost every day But as fun

and important as it is to watch them learn new

information and skills I feel the

most satisfied when I see

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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38 N e w E r a

One o f t h e g r e a t e s t ad v enture s o f y o u r l i f e w i l l b e y our rol e a n d c a l l i n g a s a f a t her

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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ROcksROcksROcks

NOTE

1 See Thomas S Monson ldquoWelcome to Conferencerdquo Ensign Nov 2012 4ndash5

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 39

DA D D A DD AD

By Chris Deaver

W

hen I was younger I loved spending time

with my dad He always knew the bestgames to play the best stories to tell at night

and the most interesting sports to try It was

like he was born to be a great dad

Fast-forward my life to when I married my sweetheart

Julia and then even further to the moment that our first

child Daniel was born I was filled with a rush of emo-

tions I was happy shocked amazed and a little scared

I felt totally inadequate to be a father and to have the

responsibility of teaching and being an example to my son

But I quickly realized that Irsquod been preparing all my life tobe a dad When I held my son in my arms for the first time

and looked down into his face I felt the Spirit touch my

heart and I realized that I was ready to try to be a great

dad just like my own dad was to me

When Daniel was very young he already had a great

sense of humor He learned to tell hilarious jokes that

would make my wife and me laugh He also often said

things that inspired us Shortly after hearing President

Thomas S Monson announce the change in age require-

ments for young men and young women preparingto serve missions1 we were driving in the car Daniel

announced that he would start preparing himself right

then at age six so he would have 12 years of preparation

Then he said with a smile ldquoDad can I change the song

from lsquoI Hope They Call Me on a Missionrsquo to lsquoI AM Going on

a Missionrsquordquo It was awesome

WHYbeing a

Three years after Daniel was born he was followed by his

brother Austin For me as a dad itrsquos been great to watch bothboys become best friends And Austin has been just as fun

as Daniel in his own way He enjoys building and destroying

block towers and one of his favorite activities is to fearlessly

wrestle me as if I stand no chance against his four-year-old

powers Of course I give in and let him winmdashso I guess I

reinforce his belief But itrsquos so much fun I know hersquoll be a

great wrestler but what I want most is for him to wrestle

ldquoagainst the rulers of the darkness of this worldrdquo and ldquoagainst

spiritual wickednessrdquo like it says in the scriptures (Ephesians

612) And I hope Irsquom helping to prepare him to do that We just recently had our third child a baby girl named

Faith During the delivery my wife was having some com-

plications and we were scared for our baby I gave Julia

a blessing Then she asked me to sing to her The Spirit

brought peace to both of us Soon baby Faith came safely

into the world It was a miracle and she definitely lived up

to her name Faithrsquos beautiful smile brightens my life I canrsquot

express in words how much she means to me

For any young man still wondering let me tell you You

were born to be a great dad The world may not agree butfatherhood is the best Someday yoursquoll find that your kids

inspire you too and that being a dad is the greatest adven-

ture of your life Yes itrsquos a duty and something you need to

take seriously but being a dad is unlike anything else NE

Chris Deaver lives in Florida USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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40 N e w E r a

We always seem to be encouraged to read more

because well everyone knows that reading is a

good thing But not all books are worth reading and just

because sexual material is written about rather than pho-

tographed or video recorded doesnrsquot mean that itrsquos less

morally hazardous Making a common display of a sacred

intimacy thatrsquos intended to only be part of a marriage rela-

tionship is wrongmdashwhether in words or imagesIf something yoursquore reading contains explicit sexual

descriptions that imprint themselves on your mind and

arouse sexual feelings in the same way that looking at

pornographic images would then guess what Itrsquos pornog-

raphy Remember the counsel in For the Strength of Youth

ldquoChoose wisely when using media because whatever you

read listen to or look at has an effect on you Select only

media that uplifts yourdquo ([2011] 11) NE

T O T H E P O I N T

President Boyd K

Packer President of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoEach

of us must come to ourown personal testimony

of the Lord Jesus Christ

We then share that testi-

mony with our family and

othersrdquo1 It can sometimes

be easy to question the

depth of your testimony

I know looking at pornographic

pictures is wrong but whatabout reading books with

ldquoromanticrdquo scenes

If I donrsquot have a burning

desire to share thegospel does that mean I

donrsquot have a testimony

when you compare your-

self to people like Brigham

Young who once said ldquoI

wanted to thunder and

roar out the gospel to thenations It burned in my

bones like fire pent uprdquo2

So what if you donrsquot feel

fire in your bones

Hopefully your lack of

desire doesnrsquot come from

a lack of concern for your

fellowmen As your faith in

Jesus Christ grows so does

your love of all people a

love that is a mark of the

true followers of Christ (see

Moroni 748 John 1335)

Itrsquos likely however

that your hesitancy sim-

ply comes from fear and

anxiety about speaking toothers For many people

such feelings can be over-

whelming Even prophets

have had doubts about their

ability to speak to people

(see Exodus 410 Moses

631) They of course

had no reason to question

their testimoniesmdashand

neither should you if you

are studying the scriptures

pondering praying fasting

repenting and doing all the

other things that help bring

the Spirit into your life

If you feel you just

need a little extra cour-age to share the gos-

pel visit ldsorggo

shareNE8 for ideas NE

NOTES

1 Boyd K Packer ldquoThe Witnessrdquo Ensign May 2014 96

2 Teachings of Presidents ofthe Church Brigham Young (1997) viii

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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C O M E F O L L O W M E

Family

983152983137tter983150 of

President Boyd K PackerPresident of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

April 2014 general conference

The ultimate end

of all activity in

the Church is that

a man and his wife

and their childrencan be happy

at home

The FamilyYoursquoll be studying about the family in your Sunday classes

this month As you study and discuss family you may pon-der these questions Why do Church leaders emphasize

family so much What is the place of family in Heavenly

Fatherrsquos plan How does family help make us happy

To find some answers to these questions see the

family proclamation near the back of your Personal

Progress or Duty to God booklet or online at ldsorg

gofamilyNE8 Yoursquoll also find teachings about

family relationships in general conference talks at

conferenceldsorg

Give yourself an easy reminder to prepare for your

Sunday lessons on the family Just place these cards

in your scriptures locker or bedroom You can also

download or share them online at ldsorggocardsNE8 B A C K G R O U N D T E X T U R E

B Y I S T O C K P H O T O T H I N K S T O C K

We 983150eed We 983150eed

MOR E

983155tre983150983143the983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

RELATIONSHIPS

983153u983137lity 983153u983137lity TIME amp EFFORT INTO

TO PUT

983155re983150983143te983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4452

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4552

T H E E X T R A S M I L E

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 43

I dont like to pack so I rsquo m just wearing all my stuff

JON CLARK

W h a t m a k e s y o

u t h i n k

D a d rsquo s t a l k i n g t o

t h e

p r o p h e t

B ecaus e h e s ai d h e w as on a conf er ence cal l

RYAN STOKER

F r o m n o w o n j u s t t a k e

a p i c t u r e o f t h e t o o t h a n

d

u p l o a d i t t o m y F a c e b o o k

p a g e

a n d t h e n I rsquo l l s e n d y o u t h e

m o n e y t h r o u g h P a y P a l

RANDY GLASBERGEN

[Gasp] He he made h is bed this morning

And I didnrsquo t even ask

VAL CHADWICK BAGLEY

Who says there arenrsquo t modern m iracles

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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44 N e w E r a

ldquoMymom works

Since you donrsquot see your mom often make sure that

the time you do have together is used well You

could talk to your mom about how to do this She

wants a good relationship with you too and will

help you work on it Try asking her what she would

appreciate coming home to a clean house doing an activity

together just talking with you As you regularly do activities your mom appreciates your relationship will improve

Of course you could plan some fun activities to do together

but any meaningful time togethermdashsuch as washing the dishes

or reading the scripturesmdashcan be a great way to build your

relationship

Also plan time for communication Understanding one

another is a key ingredient in good relationships One thing

to discuss is how your momrsquos work schedule will affect your

relationship with her You can avoid misunderstandings if you

talk about your expectations as well as your momrsquosPrayer will help Families are important to Heavenly Father

so He can inspire you to know how to improve your relation-

ship with your mom Donrsquot ignore a prompting to do something

that seems small (see Alma 376) A hug and a smile for exam-

ple can make a big difference NE

Write a Note

Even if you have very

little time together you

can still express your

love to your mother

Write her thoughtful secret notes As

she reads them at work she will think

of you Do as much as you can for

her Think about her more often and

pray for her Ask the Lord to inspire

you and prompt you regarding how

you can improve your relationship Irinka E 20 Odessa Ukraine

Seek to Understand Her

Try to understand her situation

because she works for your benefit

You can begin by helping with things

at home like cleaning the house

helping your siblings and cooking

You also can share scriptures with

your mom pray together and doactivities that you like to do together

Morony M 18 Chihuahua Mexico

Have a Special Sunday

On some Sundays we

have a special lunch

or dinner with a new

dessert we talk and at

the end we sing hymns This brings

us together and helps us be betterfriends

Rebeca N 12 Satildeo Paulo Brazil

Try an Experiment

We arrange time to be together hav-

ing family home evening playing

games going to the beach having

lunch together All of this helps to

Q U E S T I O N S amp A N S W E R S

all day Howcan I improve our

relationshiprdquo

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keep the flame of a good relationship

alive When we disagree we avoid

criticizing I know that sometimes I

ask not to do housework but this

contributes to disharmony in the

home Since I began this experiment

mdashcomplaining less lowering my

voice helping more with housework

and talking more with my mothermdash

a sweet spirit has developed in our

home and we cooperate more

Glenda C 18 Bahia Brazil

Help at Home

Do some extra chores

around the house Your

mom has been work-

ing all day If she has

less work to do when she gets home

shersquoll probably be happier and have

more time to talk and do things with

you While you are talking you canask about her day at work It will

show her that you care and it will

open doors for other topics of discus-

sion allowing you to grow closer

Heather B 18 Oregon USA

Find Something You BothLike to Do

My mumrsquos relationship with me

skyrocketed when I said ldquoI want tospend more time with you but I donrsquot

know what to do or when to do itrdquo

Playing board games happens to be

our favorite pastime So we set aside

a time together to play laugh and

make memories When you are open

with your parents eventually they

become your best companions You

UPCOMING QUESTION

ldquoMy parents just

got divorced Irsquom angry that they

have broken up our

family How doI forgive themrdquo

Send your answer and photo by

September 15 2014

Go to neweraldsorg click ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo enter your LDS Accountand then select ldquoNew Erardquo

Responses may be edited for length

or clarity

Responses are intended for help and per-

spective not as official pronouncements ofChurch doctrine

will be able to talk to them about

anything and you will be sure of an

honest answer That is the sign of a

mature relationship

Ephraim S 15 New South Wales Australia

Read Scriptures Together

Both of you could set a goal to read

together every day even just five

minutes from the Book of Mormon

or any other Church book It will

strengthen your relationship andnourish you with the word of God

so you can be ready to face each day

Remember also to pray to God and

ask for His help I know He hears you

and loves you

Laura M 19 Coacuterdoba Argentina

LEARN FROM

YOUR MOTHER

ldquoPlease look to yourfaithful mothers fora pattern to followModel yourselves

after them not after celebritieswhose standards are not the Lordrsquosstandards and whose values maynot reflect an eternal perspectiveLook to your mother Learn fromher strengths her courage andher faithfulness Listen to her She

may not be a whiz at texting shemay not even have a Facebookpage But when it comes to mat-ters of the heart and the thingsof the Lord she has a wealth ofknowledgerdquo

Elder M Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles ldquoMothers and Daughtersrdquo

Ensign May 2010 19

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46 N e w E r a

MISERABLE TOTHE END OFTHE STREET

For one family home evening my

dad wanted to take advantage

of a pause in the rainy weather

to go on a walk around the neighbor-

hood I grumbled and complained

that it was too wet and muddy to

go walking I used the excuse that

I had a ballet recital that week and

didnrsquot want to sprain an ankle but

my dad didnrsquot buy it He insisted thatit was going to be the activity for the

evening I murmured a bit more about

the unfairness and my recital but we

left on the walk anyway

As I glumly stomped outside for

the walk with my family I was deter-

mined not to smile or be happy I

succeeded in feeling miserable until

I N S T A N T M E S S A G E S

we reached the end of the street Then

we turned the corner and I saw in full

force naturersquos beauty and wonder

Before me was a gorgeous sunset

and opposite it was a rainbow arching

above our neighborhood rooftops

I immediately forgot all about being

miserable and looked around in awe

On the way home I said a prayer of

gratitude thanking God for the beautyof His creations I later thanked my

dad for choosing the activity and for

allowing us to enjoy nature for that

family home evening

Jennie H North Carolina USA

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 47

STANDARDS AND FRIENDS

Since Irsquove been in school Irsquove had friends who havenrsquot understood the

moral standards of our religion At first it was difficult but over time

my friends have become used to the idea of my being morally clean I

made a goal in my life to be clean and pure and itrsquos worked out well both

for me and for those who used to criticize me Over time respect peace and

joy have become a part of our loving circle of friends

Vitoacuteria M Brazil

A DIFFICULT DECISION

FORGIVINGMY FRIENDS

As the only member of the

Church in my peer group

Irsquove experienced some

instances when my friends have

offended me Sometimes they judge

and criticize my religion I feel so

alone yet Irsquom thankful I know the

standards of the Church

If my friends offend me I try to

humble myself and avoid contention

because I know contention is evil When they start discussing some mat-

ters about the Church I just testify of

my belief in the gospel

I always forgive my friends with or

without their apology Forgiving is not

just about saying ldquoApology acceptedrdquo

or ldquoItrsquos OKrdquo because forgiveness has

a deep meaning Jesus Christ atoned

for our sins so that Heavenly Father

can forgive usEven though my friends donrsquot

understand my faith now I know that

I can be Godrsquos instrument to teach

them the gospel I am helping them

and at the same time I am helping

myself to grow spiritually and prepare

to serve a mission

Joshua V Philippines

As volleyball tryouts approached for my senior year in high

school I couldnrsquot believe the thought that was running through

my head I wasnrsquot supposed to play volleyball Irsquod played vol-

leyball since seventh grademdashwhy should this year be any different

Not seeing the sense in quitting I ignored the feeling and continued

to participate in summer volleyball events After a while the feeling

came back so I decided that if I really wasnrsquot supposed to be on the

team my coach would just cut me during tryouts

Then one night at the gym I couldnrsquot focus on the game at all I felt

terrible and restless inside I came home frustrated with my team and

with myself I sat next to my mom and sister and cried I told them

how confused I was and my mom told me to pray and ask Heavenly

Father what He wanted me to do I went up to my room and began to

pray I told Heavenly Father how I felt then I asked Him to help mefeel peace if I was not supposed to continue playing volleyball I felt

His peace in my heart and knew that I needed to quit

Irsquom still not sure all the reasons why that was the right

decision but I know that itrsquos what the Lord

wanted me to do and thatrsquos a good

enough reason for me

The next morning I told my

coach and my teammates that

I wasnrsquot going to be playing

Even though it was incrediblyhard I knew I was doing

the right thing

Klaire B Arizona USA

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you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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26 N e w E r a

Le983137r983150i983150983143 the i983150s 983137983150d outs of d983137ti983150983143 c983137983150 be h983137rd Let this course tur983150 you

i983150to 983137 d983137ti983150983143 983152ro

By Matthew ORichardson

Served as Second

Counselor in theSunday SchoolGeneral Presidencyfrom 2009 to 2014

hile speaking to youth about how to prepare for a celestial marriage

President Thomas S Monson emphasized that ldquoproper dating is a part

of preparation for marriagerdquo 1 Have you thought much about happy

relationships Elder Russell M Nelson of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said a ldquocelestial marriage brings greater possibilities for happiness than

does any other relationshiprdquo2

When I was serving as bishop in a young single adult ward I worried about those

who approached dating with very little purpose understanding or direction This

caused me to wonder if my own children would be any different when their time came

My wife and I decided to help our children prepare for ldquoproper datingrdquo and happy rela-tionships by creating the Richardson Dating Academy or RDA as our children call it

It wasnrsquot long after we started the RDA that friends of our children wanted to partici-

pate and even become RDA graduates So how about you Are you ready to become a

dating academy graduate yourself Class is in session

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 27

Lesso983150 1 ur983152oses 983137983150d St983137983150d983137rds of D983137ti983150983143

Lesso983150 2 W983137tch 983137983150d Le983137r983150

Homework

As you know ldquodatingrdquo means different things to differ-

ent people Your first assignment is to figure out just what

a ldquodaterdquo is according to Church standards Can you explain

the purposes of dating and the specific dating standards and

guidelines set by the Church Or do you know when itrsquosmost appropriate to be involved in dating and steady dating

(having a boyfriend or girlfriend)

You can find answers to these questions in the ldquoDatingrdquo

section of For the Strength of Youth The First Presidency

reminds us why knowing and understanding these stan-

dards are so important They promise ldquoThe standards in this

Elder Jeffrey R Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles once explained that most athletic contests have ldquolines

drawn on the floor or the field within which every participant

must stay in order to competerdquo3 Success depends on how

well a competitor knows and stays within the set boundaries

Likewise itrsquos important to know the ldquodating linesrdquo or the pur-

poses and standards of dating as taught by Church leaders

One of the most com-

mon ways people learn

is by watching others

Dating is no different

In the dating academy

we spend time observ-

ing others in dating

situations In our family

we learned many point-ersmdashsome to do others

to avoidmdashby watching

dates in progress at

restaurants and other

settings Yes we went to

certain places with the

sole purpose to observe

dates for ldquoclassrdquo

booklet will help you with the important choices you are

making now and will yet make in the futurerdquo4

Now that you have a solid foundation of the stan-

dards and purposes of dating (you did do your home-

work and read that section didnrsquot you) itrsquos time to move

on to lesson 2

Tips

Here are some suggestions that will help you learn

as you observe

bull Watch but donrsquot be creepy This is about learning from

others but not stalking staring or even judging Look for

things you like and things you would like to avoid

bull Go to a variety of places and settings to observe others

Not every date is the same nor should it be Watch how thesetting affects the experience

bull Watch how people interact with each other Can you tell

who is with whom Are they paying attention to each

other In what ways Are they talking with each other Do

they look like they enjoy being with each other How can

you tell if they are having fun

bull Talk with a parent leader or good friends and share what

you noticed and what you learned

Homework

The next time you go

out to eat attend a movie

or go to almost any activ-

ity make an effort to look

around and see how other

people are interacting It

may surprise you to see

how much dating is actu-ally going on Take the

time to learn from those

around you by paying

attention to whatrsquos work-

ing and what isnrsquot

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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28 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 3 l983137983150983150i983150983143 983137 D983137te

Tips

bull Start planning early

bull Donrsquot be afraid to bounce ideas off your friendsparents and others They can provide excellent

suggestions that you havenrsquot even thought about

bull Make sure you let your budget amount of time

available the reasons for dating and Church stan-

dards guide your planning

bull Think of what you hope will happen during the

date from beginning to end This helps you realize

what needs to be done to make the date a success

bull Pay attention to details Call ahead for event times

prices menus and what the proper dress is for

the occasion

bull Plan for emergencies For example what will you

do if you donrsquot have enough money or have car

trouble What if your date gets sick

Homework

Rather than leaving everything to chance dating acad-

emy grads understand what needs to happen and theyplan accordingly

Your homework assignment even if yoursquore years away

from dating is to practice planning an event You can

brainstorm with friends really fun ideas for a date Then

work together to think of what planning is required to

make those ideas actually happen Or you can ask your

parents to let you plan the next family outing

You might choose a place to eat or what to do Plan all

the details (event times travel time cost backup plans)

and then put your plan into action You could evencome up with a dating plan complete with backup ideas

if something goes wrong and share it in family home

evening while talking together around the dinner table

or with friends You may find that properly planning an

activity is almost as much fun as the actual date

The quality of experience yoursquoll have with others is

often determined by what happens before a date begins

Showing up on your datersquos doorstep with no plan is a

recipe for an awkward experience Nobody likes playing

the ldquoWhat do you want to dordquo game

Yoursquore better than that With a little practice you can

become a date-planning champion And young women

no fair skipping this section While most of the time young

men plan and ask for dates yoursquoll still want to have these

skills down for when itrsquos your turn

Group Date IdeasNeed ideas Check out ldsorggoideasNE8 Some

of the youth activities there could be adapted for dates

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Homework

In the Richardson Dating Academy all of our

children practiced dating invitations For example

our children might call an aunt older sibling or other

family member to practice inviting someone on a

date Or our son or daughter would receive an invita-

tion from a family member and practice responding

They learned how to deal with rejection acceptance

or even a disinterested response or two

Now itrsquos your turn Working with your parents ask

them to line up somebody in your family you can call

and practice inviting on a date Make sure you do this

more than once

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 29

You know your dating standards front and back

yoursquove watched others in dating situations and

yoursquove come up with a solid date plan

Congratulations Now you still need to invite

someone Or you need to know how to respond

when you are invited So whatrsquos the best way A

phone call Ask in person Here are some different

points to consider

Lesso983150 4 I983150viti983150983143 Others 983137983150d Bei983150983143 I983150vited

Tips

bull Be ready to give details when you invite

someone on a date Talk about what you have

planned start and end times whorsquos participat-ing and how they should dress (casual dressy

etc) Your excellent planning from academy

lesson 3 makes this part of the academy easy

bull Therersquos a time to talk by phone and a time to

ask face-to-face The more important the event

is the more personal the invitation should be

Donrsquot be afraid to skip technology and actually

talk with someone

bull Some events may require you to speak with

your datersquos parents first This shows respectand courtesy

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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30 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 5 O983150 the D983137te

It would be impossible for any dating academy to cover

every little thing to consider or plan for in dating So much

depends on good judgment communication with your par-

ents and listening to the Spirit

Still here are a few key points you might want to brush

up on before putting your date plan into action

Tips

bull Develop a ldquoyou firstrdquo attitude This means you always

think of your date first Is he or she having fun Is he or

she comfortable

bull Make sure you dress appropriately for the occasion

The way you dress usually communicates how you feelabout others and about the event Know the difference

between casual (but never sloppy) semiformal and

formal and when it would be appropriate to dress in

those ways

bull Show common courtesy by opening doors saying

thank you talking less about yourself and more about

your date and extending sincere compliments

bull Learn how to navigate restaurants Know how to make

a reservation get a table calculate a service tip and

pay the bill

Homework

Once again the best way to learn any good skill is by practic-

ing it Our youth enjoyed role-playing different situations

to think about how to act most appropriately We

also loved going out to eat as part of the dating acad-

emy experience Our children learned how to act in

a restaurant order a meal calculate the tip and paythe bill by actually doing it when they were with us

Look for opportunities to practice skills you should use on a

date For example the next time you and your family go some-

where ask your parents to let you purchase the tickets order

the meal or calculate the tip Treat your family or friends with

the same respect and courtesy that you should show others on a

date Open doors for your family be the first to say ldquothank yourdquo

and pay attention so you are part of the conversation

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 31

Lesso983150 6 The Doorste983152

NOTES

1 Thomas S Monson ldquoPreparation BringsBlessingsrdquo Ensign May 2010 64

2 Russell M Nelson ldquoCelestial Marriagerdquo Ensign Nov 2008 93

3 Jeffrey R Holland ldquoWe Are All Enlistedrdquo Ensign Nov 2011 45

4 ldquoMessage to the Youth from The First Presi-dencyrdquo For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

5 John Bytheway ldquoWhat Do Kisses Meanrdquo New Era Oct 2004 38ndash41

Last but not least dating

academy graduates know how

to conclude a date on the right

note Nothing sours a great date

more than a bad ending

Herersquos how you can finish a

date with success

Tips

bull Express gratitude Be sincere

and to the point If there was something you especially

liked tell your date what

it was

bull Therersquos no reason for drag-

ging things on at this point

Yoursquove already spent plenty

of time together Avoid the

ldquodoorstep shufflerdquo When

people arenrsquot sure what to

say they tend to shuffle backand forth or move their feet

in place If you find yourself

ldquoshufflingrdquo in place itrsquos a

pretty good signal that you

need to say good-bye

bull Know and follow the

Churchrsquos counsel on kissing

and physical intimacy (You

might also want to read John

Bythewayrsquos article ldquoWhat Do

Kisses Meanrdquo5 at ldsorggo

kissesNE8)

Homework

Yes herersquos another opportunity for practicing Our family has spent several family

home evenings role-playing doorstep good-byes Itrsquos been both helpful and fun to

watch an older sibling coach the younger sibling with dorsquos and donrsquots

Most memorable was an older sister showing how she could turn a hug into a

handshake with the grace of a princess and the speed of a ninja You too can get

together with family members and role-play different scenarios that might happen on

a doorstep We guarantee itrsquoll be an academy night yoursquoll all remember

Gr983137du983137tio983150

If yoursquove studied all the

material worked on the tips done

the homework and talked through

the lessons with your parents and

family you too can become a

dating academy graduate

As you continue strengthening

these important skills yoursquoll find

support strength and power that

will bless your relationships both

now and in the future You will be

better prepared for happiness NE

Do Try This at HomeInterested in having a dating academy at

home Let your parents know therersquos an RDAarticle for them in this monthrsquos Ensign or atldsorggoRDA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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32 N e w E r a

S U N DA Y L E S S

O N S

This Monthrsquos Topic

Ma r r iage a nd

Fa m i l y

MARRIAGE IS WORTH ITldquoIt is so rewarding to bemarried Marriage is wonder-ful In time you begin to thinkalike and have the same ideasand impressions You havetimes when you are extremelyhappy times of testing andtimes of trial but the Lordguides you through all ofthose growth experiencestogetherrdquo

Elder Richard G Scott of the

Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo

Ensign May 2011 96

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 33

We love being marr ied and he

rersquos why

By Ben and Rachel Nielsen

Letrsquos face it girls (and boys) itrsquos nice to know that someone loves you

And when yoursquore married you have chances to share and receive love every

day When I was talking to my parents about the possibility of marrying

Ben my dad said ldquoWhomever you choose to marry I want him to fre-

quently and sincerely express his love for you like Elder Richard G Scott did

for his wiferdquo3 I listened to Dad

I decided to marry Ben and he has always made an effort to express

his love to me in small and big ways During my senior year of college I

worked for months to prepare apply and interview for a prestigious intern-ship And when I finally heard that I got the job I came home and saw a

vase full of flowers from my husband He knew how hard I had worked and

how much the internship meant to me At other times hersquoll hide my favorite

drink and a love note in the fridge before he heads out for a weekend Scout

camp And every day hersquoll do the dishes and make me laugh Ben is great at

expressing his love for me and that brings both of us great joy

During my mission in Brazil I grew to love soccer One thing that I lovemost about this sport is having teammates and learning how to work together

with my team Rachel is a fantastic teammate She helps me achieve my

goals joins me in making important decisions and is there for me when I

have trouble

When we were sealed in the temple we promised to ldquohelp one another as

equal partnersrdquo2 Rachel and I strive to support each other in everything we

do and itrsquos great to know that I always have a reliable teammate

After our first date we both

knew we wanted to go

on a second date Ben

wanted to go on

another date because Rachel was

friendly and fun to talk to Rachel

wanted to go on another date

because Ben was a gentleman

and was still smiling after all of

his well-laid plans fell through

After the second date plus manymore dates and prayers after

that we fell in love and decided

to get married in the Sacramento

California Temple

The wedding day was abso-

lutely perfect and we have loved

being married ever since The

world may see marriage differ-

ently but we know that ldquono other

relationship of any kind canbring as much joy generate as

much good or produce as much

personal refinementrdquo1 Marriage

is awesome and herersquos why

FROM BEN A T e a m m a t e

FROM RACHEL

E x p r e s s i o n s o f L o v e

WHY MARRIAGE IS

A w e s o m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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34 N e w E r a

JOIN THE CONVERSATION

Things to Ponder for Sunday

bull What qualities and attitudes make for the strongest

and happiest marriages and families

bull What are you doing now that will help your future

marriage and family stay strong and happy

Things You Might Do

bull Share with some friends your goal of marrying and

having a family and tell them why

bull In church share why you are looking forward

to marriage and family and how you are pre-

paring for them

serving in the Church and inviting others to come unto

Christ As we work together to build the kingdom of God

we grow closer our love deepens and life is more fulfilling

Dating Rachel is so much fun In fact we make surethat we still frequently go on dates even as a married

couple After we first met we found that we enjoy many

of the same activities walking through parks attending

plays watching sporting events eating new and different

food listening to music and so much more I loved doing

these things before I met Rachel but theyrsquore even more

fun now that we get to share them together When yoursquore

married you have someone to enjoy life withmdashand that

makes life awesome

Before I met Ben I was nearing the age of missionary

service and had seriously considered serving a full-time

mission But then Ben entered my life and I knew that

Heavenly Father had a different plan for me

When Ben and I got engaged relatives who knew

about my thoughts to serve a mission asked me about my

choice and I would tell them ldquoI decided that I wanted topick my own missionary companionmdashand stay with him

for eternityrdquo

When yoursquore married you and your spouse have the

chance to participate in the work of salvation together

Ben and I have found great joy in building a Christ-

centered home studying and living the gospel together

Despite what the world may say marriage is awesome

and is worth making a priority When yoursquore married you

have a teammate you give and receive love you enjoy life

more fully and you have someone to build the kingdom

of God with All of that brings us great joy and because

we were sealed in the temple we can have this joy forever

If we keep our covenants we will be together for eternityand receive the crowning blessings of the priesthood We

ldquohave found in marriage the richest fulfillment of human

existencerdquo 4 NE

Ben and Rachel Nielsen live in Utah USA

NOTES

1 L Whitney Clayton ldquoMarriage Watch and Learnrdquo Ensign May 2013 83 2 ldquoThe Family A Proclamation to the Worldrdquo Ensign Nov 2010 129 3 See Richard G Scott ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo Ensign May

2011 96 4 James E Faust ldquoEnriching Your Marriagerdquo Ensign Apr 2007 6

FROM BEN M o r e E n jo y m e n t

FROM RACHEL A n E t e r n a l M is s i o n a r y C o m p a n io n

TAKE IT FROM US

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 3752

Your family can help unite the family of GodYou can all share the gospel in natural and pleasant ways

P H O T O I L L U S T R A T I O N B Y D A V I D S T O K E R

M O R M O N A D

(See M Russell Ballard ldquoPut Your Trust in the Lordrdquo Ensign Nov 2013 43)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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36 N e w E r a

By Alex Larsen

I always knew I wanted to be a mother but when I was grow-

ing up it wasnrsquot always on my mind When my fianceacute and I

were engaged one day I was talking with one of my college

professorsmdasha woman I greatly admiredmdashabout my engage-

ment She said something that brought my life choices into sharp

focus ldquoYou are wasting your talentrdquo she told me as she shook

her head She went on to say that someone as smart as I was

should not get married young She assumed I would have chil-

dren in my future and would be ldquothrowing awayrdquo my education

and chances of a stellar career on my future motherhood I could

tell by the way she looked at me that she thought I was making

a terrible and naiumlve mistake

Itrsquos been several years since that conversation and my hus-

band and I have two little girls Kate is three years old and is

my little sweetheart She moves through life at a leisurely pace

savoring all of the little details she notices Annabel is one yearold with bright blue eyes and a head of curls Shersquos exuberant

and determined Though I didnrsquot change my mind because of

what my professor said our discussion has stayed with me In

one way my professorrsquos predictions were correct I do not have

a prestigious working career But my professor got the most

important point wrong because I have wasted nothing

g i v i n

g u p e v e r y

t hi n g

but wh a t

I

g a i n ed

w as w o r t h so much m o r e

T h e wor l d t o l d me

I w ould

b e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 37

their spirits growing and developing I remember

the first time Kate pointed to a picture of the Savior and

said ldquoJesusrdquo I knew then that what I was doing was eter-

nally significant in the lives of my children

The world often tells us that lifersquos rewards come in

the form of status money or grand accomplishments

but I know therersquos great satisfaction even in the small

acts of changing diapers or wiping sticky fingers Every

little thing I do as a mother is part of helping to build the

kingdom of God by nurturing His children I always knew

I wanted children but it was not until I held my first baby

in my arms that I began to realize how much my heart

was capable of loving

The love I have for my daughters has helped me bet-

ter understand how much my Heavenly Father loves all

of His children When speaking of little children Jesustaught that ldquoof such is the kingdom of heavenrdquo (Matthew

1914) More than anything motherhood has helped me

to grow as a daughter of God because now I know what

a daughter of God looks like from the eyes of a parent

The world makes us think that a woman loses herself in

motherhoodmdashshe loses her body her free time and her

career But I have found myself in motherhood I feel

more beautiful and more valuable than ever before NE

Alex Larsen lives in California USA

I love the opportunity to stay home and care for my

young children because these are the most formative

years of their lives I have the opportunity to create a rich

home environment for my girls by reading and discussing

things with them as part of our everyday life Kate will

often astound me by remembering and commenting on

something wersquod read in a book several weeks before and

Annabel learns a new skill almost every day But as fun

and important as it is to watch them learn new

information and skills I feel the

most satisfied when I see

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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38 N e w E r a

One o f t h e g r e a t e s t ad v enture s o f y o u r l i f e w i l l b e y our rol e a n d c a l l i n g a s a f a t her

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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ROcksROcksROcks

NOTE

1 See Thomas S Monson ldquoWelcome to Conferencerdquo Ensign Nov 2012 4ndash5

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 39

DA D D A DD AD

By Chris Deaver

W

hen I was younger I loved spending time

with my dad He always knew the bestgames to play the best stories to tell at night

and the most interesting sports to try It was

like he was born to be a great dad

Fast-forward my life to when I married my sweetheart

Julia and then even further to the moment that our first

child Daniel was born I was filled with a rush of emo-

tions I was happy shocked amazed and a little scared

I felt totally inadequate to be a father and to have the

responsibility of teaching and being an example to my son

But I quickly realized that Irsquod been preparing all my life tobe a dad When I held my son in my arms for the first time

and looked down into his face I felt the Spirit touch my

heart and I realized that I was ready to try to be a great

dad just like my own dad was to me

When Daniel was very young he already had a great

sense of humor He learned to tell hilarious jokes that

would make my wife and me laugh He also often said

things that inspired us Shortly after hearing President

Thomas S Monson announce the change in age require-

ments for young men and young women preparingto serve missions1 we were driving in the car Daniel

announced that he would start preparing himself right

then at age six so he would have 12 years of preparation

Then he said with a smile ldquoDad can I change the song

from lsquoI Hope They Call Me on a Missionrsquo to lsquoI AM Going on

a Missionrsquordquo It was awesome

WHYbeing a

Three years after Daniel was born he was followed by his

brother Austin For me as a dad itrsquos been great to watch bothboys become best friends And Austin has been just as fun

as Daniel in his own way He enjoys building and destroying

block towers and one of his favorite activities is to fearlessly

wrestle me as if I stand no chance against his four-year-old

powers Of course I give in and let him winmdashso I guess I

reinforce his belief But itrsquos so much fun I know hersquoll be a

great wrestler but what I want most is for him to wrestle

ldquoagainst the rulers of the darkness of this worldrdquo and ldquoagainst

spiritual wickednessrdquo like it says in the scriptures (Ephesians

612) And I hope Irsquom helping to prepare him to do that We just recently had our third child a baby girl named

Faith During the delivery my wife was having some com-

plications and we were scared for our baby I gave Julia

a blessing Then she asked me to sing to her The Spirit

brought peace to both of us Soon baby Faith came safely

into the world It was a miracle and she definitely lived up

to her name Faithrsquos beautiful smile brightens my life I canrsquot

express in words how much she means to me

For any young man still wondering let me tell you You

were born to be a great dad The world may not agree butfatherhood is the best Someday yoursquoll find that your kids

inspire you too and that being a dad is the greatest adven-

ture of your life Yes itrsquos a duty and something you need to

take seriously but being a dad is unlike anything else NE

Chris Deaver lives in Florida USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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40 N e w E r a

We always seem to be encouraged to read more

because well everyone knows that reading is a

good thing But not all books are worth reading and just

because sexual material is written about rather than pho-

tographed or video recorded doesnrsquot mean that itrsquos less

morally hazardous Making a common display of a sacred

intimacy thatrsquos intended to only be part of a marriage rela-

tionship is wrongmdashwhether in words or imagesIf something yoursquore reading contains explicit sexual

descriptions that imprint themselves on your mind and

arouse sexual feelings in the same way that looking at

pornographic images would then guess what Itrsquos pornog-

raphy Remember the counsel in For the Strength of Youth

ldquoChoose wisely when using media because whatever you

read listen to or look at has an effect on you Select only

media that uplifts yourdquo ([2011] 11) NE

T O T H E P O I N T

President Boyd K

Packer President of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoEach

of us must come to ourown personal testimony

of the Lord Jesus Christ

We then share that testi-

mony with our family and

othersrdquo1 It can sometimes

be easy to question the

depth of your testimony

I know looking at pornographic

pictures is wrong but whatabout reading books with

ldquoromanticrdquo scenes

If I donrsquot have a burning

desire to share thegospel does that mean I

donrsquot have a testimony

when you compare your-

self to people like Brigham

Young who once said ldquoI

wanted to thunder and

roar out the gospel to thenations It burned in my

bones like fire pent uprdquo2

So what if you donrsquot feel

fire in your bones

Hopefully your lack of

desire doesnrsquot come from

a lack of concern for your

fellowmen As your faith in

Jesus Christ grows so does

your love of all people a

love that is a mark of the

true followers of Christ (see

Moroni 748 John 1335)

Itrsquos likely however

that your hesitancy sim-

ply comes from fear and

anxiety about speaking toothers For many people

such feelings can be over-

whelming Even prophets

have had doubts about their

ability to speak to people

(see Exodus 410 Moses

631) They of course

had no reason to question

their testimoniesmdashand

neither should you if you

are studying the scriptures

pondering praying fasting

repenting and doing all the

other things that help bring

the Spirit into your life

If you feel you just

need a little extra cour-age to share the gos-

pel visit ldsorggo

shareNE8 for ideas NE

NOTES

1 Boyd K Packer ldquoThe Witnessrdquo Ensign May 2014 96

2 Teachings of Presidents ofthe Church Brigham Young (1997) viii

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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C O M E F O L L O W M E

Family

983152983137tter983150 of

President Boyd K PackerPresident of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

April 2014 general conference

The ultimate end

of all activity in

the Church is that

a man and his wife

and their childrencan be happy

at home

The FamilyYoursquoll be studying about the family in your Sunday classes

this month As you study and discuss family you may pon-der these questions Why do Church leaders emphasize

family so much What is the place of family in Heavenly

Fatherrsquos plan How does family help make us happy

To find some answers to these questions see the

family proclamation near the back of your Personal

Progress or Duty to God booklet or online at ldsorg

gofamilyNE8 Yoursquoll also find teachings about

family relationships in general conference talks at

conferenceldsorg

Give yourself an easy reminder to prepare for your

Sunday lessons on the family Just place these cards

in your scriptures locker or bedroom You can also

download or share them online at ldsorggocardsNE8 B A C K G R O U N D T E X T U R E

B Y I S T O C K P H O T O T H I N K S T O C K

We 983150eed We 983150eed

MOR E

983155tre983150983143the983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

RELATIONSHIPS

983153u983137lity 983153u983137lity TIME amp EFFORT INTO

TO PUT

983155re983150983143te983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4452

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4552

T H E E X T R A S M I L E

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 43

I dont like to pack so I rsquo m just wearing all my stuff

JON CLARK

W h a t m a k e s y o

u t h i n k

D a d rsquo s t a l k i n g t o

t h e

p r o p h e t

B ecaus e h e s ai d h e w as on a conf er ence cal l

RYAN STOKER

F r o m n o w o n j u s t t a k e

a p i c t u r e o f t h e t o o t h a n

d

u p l o a d i t t o m y F a c e b o o k

p a g e

a n d t h e n I rsquo l l s e n d y o u t h e

m o n e y t h r o u g h P a y P a l

RANDY GLASBERGEN

[Gasp] He he made h is bed this morning

And I didnrsquo t even ask

VAL CHADWICK BAGLEY

Who says there arenrsquo t modern m iracles

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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44 N e w E r a

ldquoMymom works

Since you donrsquot see your mom often make sure that

the time you do have together is used well You

could talk to your mom about how to do this She

wants a good relationship with you too and will

help you work on it Try asking her what she would

appreciate coming home to a clean house doing an activity

together just talking with you As you regularly do activities your mom appreciates your relationship will improve

Of course you could plan some fun activities to do together

but any meaningful time togethermdashsuch as washing the dishes

or reading the scripturesmdashcan be a great way to build your

relationship

Also plan time for communication Understanding one

another is a key ingredient in good relationships One thing

to discuss is how your momrsquos work schedule will affect your

relationship with her You can avoid misunderstandings if you

talk about your expectations as well as your momrsquosPrayer will help Families are important to Heavenly Father

so He can inspire you to know how to improve your relation-

ship with your mom Donrsquot ignore a prompting to do something

that seems small (see Alma 376) A hug and a smile for exam-

ple can make a big difference NE

Write a Note

Even if you have very

little time together you

can still express your

love to your mother

Write her thoughtful secret notes As

she reads them at work she will think

of you Do as much as you can for

her Think about her more often and

pray for her Ask the Lord to inspire

you and prompt you regarding how

you can improve your relationship Irinka E 20 Odessa Ukraine

Seek to Understand Her

Try to understand her situation

because she works for your benefit

You can begin by helping with things

at home like cleaning the house

helping your siblings and cooking

You also can share scriptures with

your mom pray together and doactivities that you like to do together

Morony M 18 Chihuahua Mexico

Have a Special Sunday

On some Sundays we

have a special lunch

or dinner with a new

dessert we talk and at

the end we sing hymns This brings

us together and helps us be betterfriends

Rebeca N 12 Satildeo Paulo Brazil

Try an Experiment

We arrange time to be together hav-

ing family home evening playing

games going to the beach having

lunch together All of this helps to

Q U E S T I O N S amp A N S W E R S

all day Howcan I improve our

relationshiprdquo

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4752

keep the flame of a good relationship

alive When we disagree we avoid

criticizing I know that sometimes I

ask not to do housework but this

contributes to disharmony in the

home Since I began this experiment

mdashcomplaining less lowering my

voice helping more with housework

and talking more with my mothermdash

a sweet spirit has developed in our

home and we cooperate more

Glenda C 18 Bahia Brazil

Help at Home

Do some extra chores

around the house Your

mom has been work-

ing all day If she has

less work to do when she gets home

shersquoll probably be happier and have

more time to talk and do things with

you While you are talking you canask about her day at work It will

show her that you care and it will

open doors for other topics of discus-

sion allowing you to grow closer

Heather B 18 Oregon USA

Find Something You BothLike to Do

My mumrsquos relationship with me

skyrocketed when I said ldquoI want tospend more time with you but I donrsquot

know what to do or when to do itrdquo

Playing board games happens to be

our favorite pastime So we set aside

a time together to play laugh and

make memories When you are open

with your parents eventually they

become your best companions You

UPCOMING QUESTION

ldquoMy parents just

got divorced Irsquom angry that they

have broken up our

family How doI forgive themrdquo

Send your answer and photo by

September 15 2014

Go to neweraldsorg click ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo enter your LDS Accountand then select ldquoNew Erardquo

Responses may be edited for length

or clarity

Responses are intended for help and per-

spective not as official pronouncements ofChurch doctrine

will be able to talk to them about

anything and you will be sure of an

honest answer That is the sign of a

mature relationship

Ephraim S 15 New South Wales Australia

Read Scriptures Together

Both of you could set a goal to read

together every day even just five

minutes from the Book of Mormon

or any other Church book It will

strengthen your relationship andnourish you with the word of God

so you can be ready to face each day

Remember also to pray to God and

ask for His help I know He hears you

and loves you

Laura M 19 Coacuterdoba Argentina

LEARN FROM

YOUR MOTHER

ldquoPlease look to yourfaithful mothers fora pattern to followModel yourselves

after them not after celebritieswhose standards are not the Lordrsquosstandards and whose values maynot reflect an eternal perspectiveLook to your mother Learn fromher strengths her courage andher faithfulness Listen to her She

may not be a whiz at texting shemay not even have a Facebookpage But when it comes to mat-ters of the heart and the thingsof the Lord she has a wealth ofknowledgerdquo

Elder M Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles ldquoMothers and Daughtersrdquo

Ensign May 2010 19

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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46 N e w E r a

MISERABLE TOTHE END OFTHE STREET

For one family home evening my

dad wanted to take advantage

of a pause in the rainy weather

to go on a walk around the neighbor-

hood I grumbled and complained

that it was too wet and muddy to

go walking I used the excuse that

I had a ballet recital that week and

didnrsquot want to sprain an ankle but

my dad didnrsquot buy it He insisted thatit was going to be the activity for the

evening I murmured a bit more about

the unfairness and my recital but we

left on the walk anyway

As I glumly stomped outside for

the walk with my family I was deter-

mined not to smile or be happy I

succeeded in feeling miserable until

I N S T A N T M E S S A G E S

we reached the end of the street Then

we turned the corner and I saw in full

force naturersquos beauty and wonder

Before me was a gorgeous sunset

and opposite it was a rainbow arching

above our neighborhood rooftops

I immediately forgot all about being

miserable and looked around in awe

On the way home I said a prayer of

gratitude thanking God for the beautyof His creations I later thanked my

dad for choosing the activity and for

allowing us to enjoy nature for that

family home evening

Jennie H North Carolina USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 47

STANDARDS AND FRIENDS

Since Irsquove been in school Irsquove had friends who havenrsquot understood the

moral standards of our religion At first it was difficult but over time

my friends have become used to the idea of my being morally clean I

made a goal in my life to be clean and pure and itrsquos worked out well both

for me and for those who used to criticize me Over time respect peace and

joy have become a part of our loving circle of friends

Vitoacuteria M Brazil

A DIFFICULT DECISION

FORGIVINGMY FRIENDS

As the only member of the

Church in my peer group

Irsquove experienced some

instances when my friends have

offended me Sometimes they judge

and criticize my religion I feel so

alone yet Irsquom thankful I know the

standards of the Church

If my friends offend me I try to

humble myself and avoid contention

because I know contention is evil When they start discussing some mat-

ters about the Church I just testify of

my belief in the gospel

I always forgive my friends with or

without their apology Forgiving is not

just about saying ldquoApology acceptedrdquo

or ldquoItrsquos OKrdquo because forgiveness has

a deep meaning Jesus Christ atoned

for our sins so that Heavenly Father

can forgive usEven though my friends donrsquot

understand my faith now I know that

I can be Godrsquos instrument to teach

them the gospel I am helping them

and at the same time I am helping

myself to grow spiritually and prepare

to serve a mission

Joshua V Philippines

As volleyball tryouts approached for my senior year in high

school I couldnrsquot believe the thought that was running through

my head I wasnrsquot supposed to play volleyball Irsquod played vol-

leyball since seventh grademdashwhy should this year be any different

Not seeing the sense in quitting I ignored the feeling and continued

to participate in summer volleyball events After a while the feeling

came back so I decided that if I really wasnrsquot supposed to be on the

team my coach would just cut me during tryouts

Then one night at the gym I couldnrsquot focus on the game at all I felt

terrible and restless inside I came home frustrated with my team and

with myself I sat next to my mom and sister and cried I told them

how confused I was and my mom told me to pray and ask Heavenly

Father what He wanted me to do I went up to my room and began to

pray I told Heavenly Father how I felt then I asked Him to help mefeel peace if I was not supposed to continue playing volleyball I felt

His peace in my heart and knew that I needed to quit

Irsquom still not sure all the reasons why that was the right

decision but I know that itrsquos what the Lord

wanted me to do and thatrsquos a good

enough reason for me

The next morning I told my

coach and my teammates that

I wasnrsquot going to be playing

Even though it was incrediblyhard I knew I was doing

the right thing

Klaire B Arizona USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5152

you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5252

WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 2952

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 27

Lesso983150 1 ur983152oses 983137983150d St983137983150d983137rds of D983137ti983150983143

Lesso983150 2 W983137tch 983137983150d Le983137r983150

Homework

As you know ldquodatingrdquo means different things to differ-

ent people Your first assignment is to figure out just what

a ldquodaterdquo is according to Church standards Can you explain

the purposes of dating and the specific dating standards and

guidelines set by the Church Or do you know when itrsquosmost appropriate to be involved in dating and steady dating

(having a boyfriend or girlfriend)

You can find answers to these questions in the ldquoDatingrdquo

section of For the Strength of Youth The First Presidency

reminds us why knowing and understanding these stan-

dards are so important They promise ldquoThe standards in this

Elder Jeffrey R Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles once explained that most athletic contests have ldquolines

drawn on the floor or the field within which every participant

must stay in order to competerdquo3 Success depends on how

well a competitor knows and stays within the set boundaries

Likewise itrsquos important to know the ldquodating linesrdquo or the pur-

poses and standards of dating as taught by Church leaders

One of the most com-

mon ways people learn

is by watching others

Dating is no different

In the dating academy

we spend time observ-

ing others in dating

situations In our family

we learned many point-ersmdashsome to do others

to avoidmdashby watching

dates in progress at

restaurants and other

settings Yes we went to

certain places with the

sole purpose to observe

dates for ldquoclassrdquo

booklet will help you with the important choices you are

making now and will yet make in the futurerdquo4

Now that you have a solid foundation of the stan-

dards and purposes of dating (you did do your home-

work and read that section didnrsquot you) itrsquos time to move

on to lesson 2

Tips

Here are some suggestions that will help you learn

as you observe

bull Watch but donrsquot be creepy This is about learning from

others but not stalking staring or even judging Look for

things you like and things you would like to avoid

bull Go to a variety of places and settings to observe others

Not every date is the same nor should it be Watch how thesetting affects the experience

bull Watch how people interact with each other Can you tell

who is with whom Are they paying attention to each

other In what ways Are they talking with each other Do

they look like they enjoy being with each other How can

you tell if they are having fun

bull Talk with a parent leader or good friends and share what

you noticed and what you learned

Homework

The next time you go

out to eat attend a movie

or go to almost any activ-

ity make an effort to look

around and see how other

people are interacting It

may surprise you to see

how much dating is actu-ally going on Take the

time to learn from those

around you by paying

attention to whatrsquos work-

ing and what isnrsquot

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 3052

28 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 3 l983137983150983150i983150983143 983137 D983137te

Tips

bull Start planning early

bull Donrsquot be afraid to bounce ideas off your friendsparents and others They can provide excellent

suggestions that you havenrsquot even thought about

bull Make sure you let your budget amount of time

available the reasons for dating and Church stan-

dards guide your planning

bull Think of what you hope will happen during the

date from beginning to end This helps you realize

what needs to be done to make the date a success

bull Pay attention to details Call ahead for event times

prices menus and what the proper dress is for

the occasion

bull Plan for emergencies For example what will you

do if you donrsquot have enough money or have car

trouble What if your date gets sick

Homework

Rather than leaving everything to chance dating acad-

emy grads understand what needs to happen and theyplan accordingly

Your homework assignment even if yoursquore years away

from dating is to practice planning an event You can

brainstorm with friends really fun ideas for a date Then

work together to think of what planning is required to

make those ideas actually happen Or you can ask your

parents to let you plan the next family outing

You might choose a place to eat or what to do Plan all

the details (event times travel time cost backup plans)

and then put your plan into action You could evencome up with a dating plan complete with backup ideas

if something goes wrong and share it in family home

evening while talking together around the dinner table

or with friends You may find that properly planning an

activity is almost as much fun as the actual date

The quality of experience yoursquoll have with others is

often determined by what happens before a date begins

Showing up on your datersquos doorstep with no plan is a

recipe for an awkward experience Nobody likes playing

the ldquoWhat do you want to dordquo game

Yoursquore better than that With a little practice you can

become a date-planning champion And young women

no fair skipping this section While most of the time young

men plan and ask for dates yoursquoll still want to have these

skills down for when itrsquos your turn

Group Date IdeasNeed ideas Check out ldsorggoideasNE8 Some

of the youth activities there could be adapted for dates

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Homework

In the Richardson Dating Academy all of our

children practiced dating invitations For example

our children might call an aunt older sibling or other

family member to practice inviting someone on a

date Or our son or daughter would receive an invita-

tion from a family member and practice responding

They learned how to deal with rejection acceptance

or even a disinterested response or two

Now itrsquos your turn Working with your parents ask

them to line up somebody in your family you can call

and practice inviting on a date Make sure you do this

more than once

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 29

You know your dating standards front and back

yoursquove watched others in dating situations and

yoursquove come up with a solid date plan

Congratulations Now you still need to invite

someone Or you need to know how to respond

when you are invited So whatrsquos the best way A

phone call Ask in person Here are some different

points to consider

Lesso983150 4 I983150viti983150983143 Others 983137983150d Bei983150983143 I983150vited

Tips

bull Be ready to give details when you invite

someone on a date Talk about what you have

planned start and end times whorsquos participat-ing and how they should dress (casual dressy

etc) Your excellent planning from academy

lesson 3 makes this part of the academy easy

bull Therersquos a time to talk by phone and a time to

ask face-to-face The more important the event

is the more personal the invitation should be

Donrsquot be afraid to skip technology and actually

talk with someone

bull Some events may require you to speak with

your datersquos parents first This shows respectand courtesy

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30 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 5 O983150 the D983137te

It would be impossible for any dating academy to cover

every little thing to consider or plan for in dating So much

depends on good judgment communication with your par-

ents and listening to the Spirit

Still here are a few key points you might want to brush

up on before putting your date plan into action

Tips

bull Develop a ldquoyou firstrdquo attitude This means you always

think of your date first Is he or she having fun Is he or

she comfortable

bull Make sure you dress appropriately for the occasion

The way you dress usually communicates how you feelabout others and about the event Know the difference

between casual (but never sloppy) semiformal and

formal and when it would be appropriate to dress in

those ways

bull Show common courtesy by opening doors saying

thank you talking less about yourself and more about

your date and extending sincere compliments

bull Learn how to navigate restaurants Know how to make

a reservation get a table calculate a service tip and

pay the bill

Homework

Once again the best way to learn any good skill is by practic-

ing it Our youth enjoyed role-playing different situations

to think about how to act most appropriately We

also loved going out to eat as part of the dating acad-

emy experience Our children learned how to act in

a restaurant order a meal calculate the tip and paythe bill by actually doing it when they were with us

Look for opportunities to practice skills you should use on a

date For example the next time you and your family go some-

where ask your parents to let you purchase the tickets order

the meal or calculate the tip Treat your family or friends with

the same respect and courtesy that you should show others on a

date Open doors for your family be the first to say ldquothank yourdquo

and pay attention so you are part of the conversation

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 31

Lesso983150 6 The Doorste983152

NOTES

1 Thomas S Monson ldquoPreparation BringsBlessingsrdquo Ensign May 2010 64

2 Russell M Nelson ldquoCelestial Marriagerdquo Ensign Nov 2008 93

3 Jeffrey R Holland ldquoWe Are All Enlistedrdquo Ensign Nov 2011 45

4 ldquoMessage to the Youth from The First Presi-dencyrdquo For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

5 John Bytheway ldquoWhat Do Kisses Meanrdquo New Era Oct 2004 38ndash41

Last but not least dating

academy graduates know how

to conclude a date on the right

note Nothing sours a great date

more than a bad ending

Herersquos how you can finish a

date with success

Tips

bull Express gratitude Be sincere

and to the point If there was something you especially

liked tell your date what

it was

bull Therersquos no reason for drag-

ging things on at this point

Yoursquove already spent plenty

of time together Avoid the

ldquodoorstep shufflerdquo When

people arenrsquot sure what to

say they tend to shuffle backand forth or move their feet

in place If you find yourself

ldquoshufflingrdquo in place itrsquos a

pretty good signal that you

need to say good-bye

bull Know and follow the

Churchrsquos counsel on kissing

and physical intimacy (You

might also want to read John

Bythewayrsquos article ldquoWhat Do

Kisses Meanrdquo5 at ldsorggo

kissesNE8)

Homework

Yes herersquos another opportunity for practicing Our family has spent several family

home evenings role-playing doorstep good-byes Itrsquos been both helpful and fun to

watch an older sibling coach the younger sibling with dorsquos and donrsquots

Most memorable was an older sister showing how she could turn a hug into a

handshake with the grace of a princess and the speed of a ninja You too can get

together with family members and role-play different scenarios that might happen on

a doorstep We guarantee itrsquoll be an academy night yoursquoll all remember

Gr983137du983137tio983150

If yoursquove studied all the

material worked on the tips done

the homework and talked through

the lessons with your parents and

family you too can become a

dating academy graduate

As you continue strengthening

these important skills yoursquoll find

support strength and power that

will bless your relationships both

now and in the future You will be

better prepared for happiness NE

Do Try This at HomeInterested in having a dating academy at

home Let your parents know therersquos an RDAarticle for them in this monthrsquos Ensign or atldsorggoRDA

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32 N e w E r a

S U N DA Y L E S S

O N S

This Monthrsquos Topic

Ma r r iage a nd

Fa m i l y

MARRIAGE IS WORTH ITldquoIt is so rewarding to bemarried Marriage is wonder-ful In time you begin to thinkalike and have the same ideasand impressions You havetimes when you are extremelyhappy times of testing andtimes of trial but the Lordguides you through all ofthose growth experiencestogetherrdquo

Elder Richard G Scott of the

Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo

Ensign May 2011 96

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 33

We love being marr ied and he

rersquos why

By Ben and Rachel Nielsen

Letrsquos face it girls (and boys) itrsquos nice to know that someone loves you

And when yoursquore married you have chances to share and receive love every

day When I was talking to my parents about the possibility of marrying

Ben my dad said ldquoWhomever you choose to marry I want him to fre-

quently and sincerely express his love for you like Elder Richard G Scott did

for his wiferdquo3 I listened to Dad

I decided to marry Ben and he has always made an effort to express

his love to me in small and big ways During my senior year of college I

worked for months to prepare apply and interview for a prestigious intern-ship And when I finally heard that I got the job I came home and saw a

vase full of flowers from my husband He knew how hard I had worked and

how much the internship meant to me At other times hersquoll hide my favorite

drink and a love note in the fridge before he heads out for a weekend Scout

camp And every day hersquoll do the dishes and make me laugh Ben is great at

expressing his love for me and that brings both of us great joy

During my mission in Brazil I grew to love soccer One thing that I lovemost about this sport is having teammates and learning how to work together

with my team Rachel is a fantastic teammate She helps me achieve my

goals joins me in making important decisions and is there for me when I

have trouble

When we were sealed in the temple we promised to ldquohelp one another as

equal partnersrdquo2 Rachel and I strive to support each other in everything we

do and itrsquos great to know that I always have a reliable teammate

After our first date we both

knew we wanted to go

on a second date Ben

wanted to go on

another date because Rachel was

friendly and fun to talk to Rachel

wanted to go on another date

because Ben was a gentleman

and was still smiling after all of

his well-laid plans fell through

After the second date plus manymore dates and prayers after

that we fell in love and decided

to get married in the Sacramento

California Temple

The wedding day was abso-

lutely perfect and we have loved

being married ever since The

world may see marriage differ-

ently but we know that ldquono other

relationship of any kind canbring as much joy generate as

much good or produce as much

personal refinementrdquo1 Marriage

is awesome and herersquos why

FROM BEN A T e a m m a t e

FROM RACHEL

E x p r e s s i o n s o f L o v e

WHY MARRIAGE IS

A w e s o m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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34 N e w E r a

JOIN THE CONVERSATION

Things to Ponder for Sunday

bull What qualities and attitudes make for the strongest

and happiest marriages and families

bull What are you doing now that will help your future

marriage and family stay strong and happy

Things You Might Do

bull Share with some friends your goal of marrying and

having a family and tell them why

bull In church share why you are looking forward

to marriage and family and how you are pre-

paring for them

serving in the Church and inviting others to come unto

Christ As we work together to build the kingdom of God

we grow closer our love deepens and life is more fulfilling

Dating Rachel is so much fun In fact we make surethat we still frequently go on dates even as a married

couple After we first met we found that we enjoy many

of the same activities walking through parks attending

plays watching sporting events eating new and different

food listening to music and so much more I loved doing

these things before I met Rachel but theyrsquore even more

fun now that we get to share them together When yoursquore

married you have someone to enjoy life withmdashand that

makes life awesome

Before I met Ben I was nearing the age of missionary

service and had seriously considered serving a full-time

mission But then Ben entered my life and I knew that

Heavenly Father had a different plan for me

When Ben and I got engaged relatives who knew

about my thoughts to serve a mission asked me about my

choice and I would tell them ldquoI decided that I wanted topick my own missionary companionmdashand stay with him

for eternityrdquo

When yoursquore married you and your spouse have the

chance to participate in the work of salvation together

Ben and I have found great joy in building a Christ-

centered home studying and living the gospel together

Despite what the world may say marriage is awesome

and is worth making a priority When yoursquore married you

have a teammate you give and receive love you enjoy life

more fully and you have someone to build the kingdom

of God with All of that brings us great joy and because

we were sealed in the temple we can have this joy forever

If we keep our covenants we will be together for eternityand receive the crowning blessings of the priesthood We

ldquohave found in marriage the richest fulfillment of human

existencerdquo 4 NE

Ben and Rachel Nielsen live in Utah USA

NOTES

1 L Whitney Clayton ldquoMarriage Watch and Learnrdquo Ensign May 2013 83 2 ldquoThe Family A Proclamation to the Worldrdquo Ensign Nov 2010 129 3 See Richard G Scott ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo Ensign May

2011 96 4 James E Faust ldquoEnriching Your Marriagerdquo Ensign Apr 2007 6

FROM BEN M o r e E n jo y m e n t

FROM RACHEL A n E t e r n a l M is s i o n a r y C o m p a n io n

TAKE IT FROM US

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Your family can help unite the family of GodYou can all share the gospel in natural and pleasant ways

P H O T O I L L U S T R A T I O N B Y D A V I D S T O K E R

M O R M O N A D

(See M Russell Ballard ldquoPut Your Trust in the Lordrdquo Ensign Nov 2013 43)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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36 N e w E r a

By Alex Larsen

I always knew I wanted to be a mother but when I was grow-

ing up it wasnrsquot always on my mind When my fianceacute and I

were engaged one day I was talking with one of my college

professorsmdasha woman I greatly admiredmdashabout my engage-

ment She said something that brought my life choices into sharp

focus ldquoYou are wasting your talentrdquo she told me as she shook

her head She went on to say that someone as smart as I was

should not get married young She assumed I would have chil-

dren in my future and would be ldquothrowing awayrdquo my education

and chances of a stellar career on my future motherhood I could

tell by the way she looked at me that she thought I was making

a terrible and naiumlve mistake

Itrsquos been several years since that conversation and my hus-

band and I have two little girls Kate is three years old and is

my little sweetheart She moves through life at a leisurely pace

savoring all of the little details she notices Annabel is one yearold with bright blue eyes and a head of curls Shersquos exuberant

and determined Though I didnrsquot change my mind because of

what my professor said our discussion has stayed with me In

one way my professorrsquos predictions were correct I do not have

a prestigious working career But my professor got the most

important point wrong because I have wasted nothing

g i v i n

g u p e v e r y

t hi n g

but wh a t

I

g a i n ed

w as w o r t h so much m o r e

T h e wor l d t o l d me

I w ould

b e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 37

their spirits growing and developing I remember

the first time Kate pointed to a picture of the Savior and

said ldquoJesusrdquo I knew then that what I was doing was eter-

nally significant in the lives of my children

The world often tells us that lifersquos rewards come in

the form of status money or grand accomplishments

but I know therersquos great satisfaction even in the small

acts of changing diapers or wiping sticky fingers Every

little thing I do as a mother is part of helping to build the

kingdom of God by nurturing His children I always knew

I wanted children but it was not until I held my first baby

in my arms that I began to realize how much my heart

was capable of loving

The love I have for my daughters has helped me bet-

ter understand how much my Heavenly Father loves all

of His children When speaking of little children Jesustaught that ldquoof such is the kingdom of heavenrdquo (Matthew

1914) More than anything motherhood has helped me

to grow as a daughter of God because now I know what

a daughter of God looks like from the eyes of a parent

The world makes us think that a woman loses herself in

motherhoodmdashshe loses her body her free time and her

career But I have found myself in motherhood I feel

more beautiful and more valuable than ever before NE

Alex Larsen lives in California USA

I love the opportunity to stay home and care for my

young children because these are the most formative

years of their lives I have the opportunity to create a rich

home environment for my girls by reading and discussing

things with them as part of our everyday life Kate will

often astound me by remembering and commenting on

something wersquod read in a book several weeks before and

Annabel learns a new skill almost every day But as fun

and important as it is to watch them learn new

information and skills I feel the

most satisfied when I see

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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38 N e w E r a

One o f t h e g r e a t e s t ad v enture s o f y o u r l i f e w i l l b e y our rol e a n d c a l l i n g a s a f a t her

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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ROcksROcksROcks

NOTE

1 See Thomas S Monson ldquoWelcome to Conferencerdquo Ensign Nov 2012 4ndash5

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 39

DA D D A DD AD

By Chris Deaver

W

hen I was younger I loved spending time

with my dad He always knew the bestgames to play the best stories to tell at night

and the most interesting sports to try It was

like he was born to be a great dad

Fast-forward my life to when I married my sweetheart

Julia and then even further to the moment that our first

child Daniel was born I was filled with a rush of emo-

tions I was happy shocked amazed and a little scared

I felt totally inadequate to be a father and to have the

responsibility of teaching and being an example to my son

But I quickly realized that Irsquod been preparing all my life tobe a dad When I held my son in my arms for the first time

and looked down into his face I felt the Spirit touch my

heart and I realized that I was ready to try to be a great

dad just like my own dad was to me

When Daniel was very young he already had a great

sense of humor He learned to tell hilarious jokes that

would make my wife and me laugh He also often said

things that inspired us Shortly after hearing President

Thomas S Monson announce the change in age require-

ments for young men and young women preparingto serve missions1 we were driving in the car Daniel

announced that he would start preparing himself right

then at age six so he would have 12 years of preparation

Then he said with a smile ldquoDad can I change the song

from lsquoI Hope They Call Me on a Missionrsquo to lsquoI AM Going on

a Missionrsquordquo It was awesome

WHYbeing a

Three years after Daniel was born he was followed by his

brother Austin For me as a dad itrsquos been great to watch bothboys become best friends And Austin has been just as fun

as Daniel in his own way He enjoys building and destroying

block towers and one of his favorite activities is to fearlessly

wrestle me as if I stand no chance against his four-year-old

powers Of course I give in and let him winmdashso I guess I

reinforce his belief But itrsquos so much fun I know hersquoll be a

great wrestler but what I want most is for him to wrestle

ldquoagainst the rulers of the darkness of this worldrdquo and ldquoagainst

spiritual wickednessrdquo like it says in the scriptures (Ephesians

612) And I hope Irsquom helping to prepare him to do that We just recently had our third child a baby girl named

Faith During the delivery my wife was having some com-

plications and we were scared for our baby I gave Julia

a blessing Then she asked me to sing to her The Spirit

brought peace to both of us Soon baby Faith came safely

into the world It was a miracle and she definitely lived up

to her name Faithrsquos beautiful smile brightens my life I canrsquot

express in words how much she means to me

For any young man still wondering let me tell you You

were born to be a great dad The world may not agree butfatherhood is the best Someday yoursquoll find that your kids

inspire you too and that being a dad is the greatest adven-

ture of your life Yes itrsquos a duty and something you need to

take seriously but being a dad is unlike anything else NE

Chris Deaver lives in Florida USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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40 N e w E r a

We always seem to be encouraged to read more

because well everyone knows that reading is a

good thing But not all books are worth reading and just

because sexual material is written about rather than pho-

tographed or video recorded doesnrsquot mean that itrsquos less

morally hazardous Making a common display of a sacred

intimacy thatrsquos intended to only be part of a marriage rela-

tionship is wrongmdashwhether in words or imagesIf something yoursquore reading contains explicit sexual

descriptions that imprint themselves on your mind and

arouse sexual feelings in the same way that looking at

pornographic images would then guess what Itrsquos pornog-

raphy Remember the counsel in For the Strength of Youth

ldquoChoose wisely when using media because whatever you

read listen to or look at has an effect on you Select only

media that uplifts yourdquo ([2011] 11) NE

T O T H E P O I N T

President Boyd K

Packer President of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoEach

of us must come to ourown personal testimony

of the Lord Jesus Christ

We then share that testi-

mony with our family and

othersrdquo1 It can sometimes

be easy to question the

depth of your testimony

I know looking at pornographic

pictures is wrong but whatabout reading books with

ldquoromanticrdquo scenes

If I donrsquot have a burning

desire to share thegospel does that mean I

donrsquot have a testimony

when you compare your-

self to people like Brigham

Young who once said ldquoI

wanted to thunder and

roar out the gospel to thenations It burned in my

bones like fire pent uprdquo2

So what if you donrsquot feel

fire in your bones

Hopefully your lack of

desire doesnrsquot come from

a lack of concern for your

fellowmen As your faith in

Jesus Christ grows so does

your love of all people a

love that is a mark of the

true followers of Christ (see

Moroni 748 John 1335)

Itrsquos likely however

that your hesitancy sim-

ply comes from fear and

anxiety about speaking toothers For many people

such feelings can be over-

whelming Even prophets

have had doubts about their

ability to speak to people

(see Exodus 410 Moses

631) They of course

had no reason to question

their testimoniesmdashand

neither should you if you

are studying the scriptures

pondering praying fasting

repenting and doing all the

other things that help bring

the Spirit into your life

If you feel you just

need a little extra cour-age to share the gos-

pel visit ldsorggo

shareNE8 for ideas NE

NOTES

1 Boyd K Packer ldquoThe Witnessrdquo Ensign May 2014 96

2 Teachings of Presidents ofthe Church Brigham Young (1997) viii

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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C O M E F O L L O W M E

Family

983152983137tter983150 of

President Boyd K PackerPresident of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

April 2014 general conference

The ultimate end

of all activity in

the Church is that

a man and his wife

and their childrencan be happy

at home

The FamilyYoursquoll be studying about the family in your Sunday classes

this month As you study and discuss family you may pon-der these questions Why do Church leaders emphasize

family so much What is the place of family in Heavenly

Fatherrsquos plan How does family help make us happy

To find some answers to these questions see the

family proclamation near the back of your Personal

Progress or Duty to God booklet or online at ldsorg

gofamilyNE8 Yoursquoll also find teachings about

family relationships in general conference talks at

conferenceldsorg

Give yourself an easy reminder to prepare for your

Sunday lessons on the family Just place these cards

in your scriptures locker or bedroom You can also

download or share them online at ldsorggocardsNE8 B A C K G R O U N D T E X T U R E

B Y I S T O C K P H O T O T H I N K S T O C K

We 983150eed We 983150eed

MOR E

983155tre983150983143the983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

RELATIONSHIPS

983153u983137lity 983153u983137lity TIME amp EFFORT INTO

TO PUT

983155re983150983143te983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4452

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4552

T H E E X T R A S M I L E

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 43

I dont like to pack so I rsquo m just wearing all my stuff

JON CLARK

W h a t m a k e s y o

u t h i n k

D a d rsquo s t a l k i n g t o

t h e

p r o p h e t

B ecaus e h e s ai d h e w as on a conf er ence cal l

RYAN STOKER

F r o m n o w o n j u s t t a k e

a p i c t u r e o f t h e t o o t h a n

d

u p l o a d i t t o m y F a c e b o o k

p a g e

a n d t h e n I rsquo l l s e n d y o u t h e

m o n e y t h r o u g h P a y P a l

RANDY GLASBERGEN

[Gasp] He he made h is bed this morning

And I didnrsquo t even ask

VAL CHADWICK BAGLEY

Who says there arenrsquo t modern m iracles

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4652

44 N e w E r a

ldquoMymom works

Since you donrsquot see your mom often make sure that

the time you do have together is used well You

could talk to your mom about how to do this She

wants a good relationship with you too and will

help you work on it Try asking her what she would

appreciate coming home to a clean house doing an activity

together just talking with you As you regularly do activities your mom appreciates your relationship will improve

Of course you could plan some fun activities to do together

but any meaningful time togethermdashsuch as washing the dishes

or reading the scripturesmdashcan be a great way to build your

relationship

Also plan time for communication Understanding one

another is a key ingredient in good relationships One thing

to discuss is how your momrsquos work schedule will affect your

relationship with her You can avoid misunderstandings if you

talk about your expectations as well as your momrsquosPrayer will help Families are important to Heavenly Father

so He can inspire you to know how to improve your relation-

ship with your mom Donrsquot ignore a prompting to do something

that seems small (see Alma 376) A hug and a smile for exam-

ple can make a big difference NE

Write a Note

Even if you have very

little time together you

can still express your

love to your mother

Write her thoughtful secret notes As

she reads them at work she will think

of you Do as much as you can for

her Think about her more often and

pray for her Ask the Lord to inspire

you and prompt you regarding how

you can improve your relationship Irinka E 20 Odessa Ukraine

Seek to Understand Her

Try to understand her situation

because she works for your benefit

You can begin by helping with things

at home like cleaning the house

helping your siblings and cooking

You also can share scriptures with

your mom pray together and doactivities that you like to do together

Morony M 18 Chihuahua Mexico

Have a Special Sunday

On some Sundays we

have a special lunch

or dinner with a new

dessert we talk and at

the end we sing hymns This brings

us together and helps us be betterfriends

Rebeca N 12 Satildeo Paulo Brazil

Try an Experiment

We arrange time to be together hav-

ing family home evening playing

games going to the beach having

lunch together All of this helps to

Q U E S T I O N S amp A N S W E R S

all day Howcan I improve our

relationshiprdquo

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4752

keep the flame of a good relationship

alive When we disagree we avoid

criticizing I know that sometimes I

ask not to do housework but this

contributes to disharmony in the

home Since I began this experiment

mdashcomplaining less lowering my

voice helping more with housework

and talking more with my mothermdash

a sweet spirit has developed in our

home and we cooperate more

Glenda C 18 Bahia Brazil

Help at Home

Do some extra chores

around the house Your

mom has been work-

ing all day If she has

less work to do when she gets home

shersquoll probably be happier and have

more time to talk and do things with

you While you are talking you canask about her day at work It will

show her that you care and it will

open doors for other topics of discus-

sion allowing you to grow closer

Heather B 18 Oregon USA

Find Something You BothLike to Do

My mumrsquos relationship with me

skyrocketed when I said ldquoI want tospend more time with you but I donrsquot

know what to do or when to do itrdquo

Playing board games happens to be

our favorite pastime So we set aside

a time together to play laugh and

make memories When you are open

with your parents eventually they

become your best companions You

UPCOMING QUESTION

ldquoMy parents just

got divorced Irsquom angry that they

have broken up our

family How doI forgive themrdquo

Send your answer and photo by

September 15 2014

Go to neweraldsorg click ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo enter your LDS Accountand then select ldquoNew Erardquo

Responses may be edited for length

or clarity

Responses are intended for help and per-

spective not as official pronouncements ofChurch doctrine

will be able to talk to them about

anything and you will be sure of an

honest answer That is the sign of a

mature relationship

Ephraim S 15 New South Wales Australia

Read Scriptures Together

Both of you could set a goal to read

together every day even just five

minutes from the Book of Mormon

or any other Church book It will

strengthen your relationship andnourish you with the word of God

so you can be ready to face each day

Remember also to pray to God and

ask for His help I know He hears you

and loves you

Laura M 19 Coacuterdoba Argentina

LEARN FROM

YOUR MOTHER

ldquoPlease look to yourfaithful mothers fora pattern to followModel yourselves

after them not after celebritieswhose standards are not the Lordrsquosstandards and whose values maynot reflect an eternal perspectiveLook to your mother Learn fromher strengths her courage andher faithfulness Listen to her She

may not be a whiz at texting shemay not even have a Facebookpage But when it comes to mat-ters of the heart and the thingsof the Lord she has a wealth ofknowledgerdquo

Elder M Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles ldquoMothers and Daughtersrdquo

Ensign May 2010 19

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46 N e w E r a

MISERABLE TOTHE END OFTHE STREET

For one family home evening my

dad wanted to take advantage

of a pause in the rainy weather

to go on a walk around the neighbor-

hood I grumbled and complained

that it was too wet and muddy to

go walking I used the excuse that

I had a ballet recital that week and

didnrsquot want to sprain an ankle but

my dad didnrsquot buy it He insisted thatit was going to be the activity for the

evening I murmured a bit more about

the unfairness and my recital but we

left on the walk anyway

As I glumly stomped outside for

the walk with my family I was deter-

mined not to smile or be happy I

succeeded in feeling miserable until

I N S T A N T M E S S A G E S

we reached the end of the street Then

we turned the corner and I saw in full

force naturersquos beauty and wonder

Before me was a gorgeous sunset

and opposite it was a rainbow arching

above our neighborhood rooftops

I immediately forgot all about being

miserable and looked around in awe

On the way home I said a prayer of

gratitude thanking God for the beautyof His creations I later thanked my

dad for choosing the activity and for

allowing us to enjoy nature for that

family home evening

Jennie H North Carolina USA

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 47

STANDARDS AND FRIENDS

Since Irsquove been in school Irsquove had friends who havenrsquot understood the

moral standards of our religion At first it was difficult but over time

my friends have become used to the idea of my being morally clean I

made a goal in my life to be clean and pure and itrsquos worked out well both

for me and for those who used to criticize me Over time respect peace and

joy have become a part of our loving circle of friends

Vitoacuteria M Brazil

A DIFFICULT DECISION

FORGIVINGMY FRIENDS

As the only member of the

Church in my peer group

Irsquove experienced some

instances when my friends have

offended me Sometimes they judge

and criticize my religion I feel so

alone yet Irsquom thankful I know the

standards of the Church

If my friends offend me I try to

humble myself and avoid contention

because I know contention is evil When they start discussing some mat-

ters about the Church I just testify of

my belief in the gospel

I always forgive my friends with or

without their apology Forgiving is not

just about saying ldquoApology acceptedrdquo

or ldquoItrsquos OKrdquo because forgiveness has

a deep meaning Jesus Christ atoned

for our sins so that Heavenly Father

can forgive usEven though my friends donrsquot

understand my faith now I know that

I can be Godrsquos instrument to teach

them the gospel I am helping them

and at the same time I am helping

myself to grow spiritually and prepare

to serve a mission

Joshua V Philippines

As volleyball tryouts approached for my senior year in high

school I couldnrsquot believe the thought that was running through

my head I wasnrsquot supposed to play volleyball Irsquod played vol-

leyball since seventh grademdashwhy should this year be any different

Not seeing the sense in quitting I ignored the feeling and continued

to participate in summer volleyball events After a while the feeling

came back so I decided that if I really wasnrsquot supposed to be on the

team my coach would just cut me during tryouts

Then one night at the gym I couldnrsquot focus on the game at all I felt

terrible and restless inside I came home frustrated with my team and

with myself I sat next to my mom and sister and cried I told them

how confused I was and my mom told me to pray and ask Heavenly

Father what He wanted me to do I went up to my room and began to

pray I told Heavenly Father how I felt then I asked Him to help mefeel peace if I was not supposed to continue playing volleyball I felt

His peace in my heart and knew that I needed to quit

Irsquom still not sure all the reasons why that was the right

decision but I know that itrsquos what the Lord

wanted me to do and thatrsquos a good

enough reason for me

The next morning I told my

coach and my teammates that

I wasnrsquot going to be playing

Even though it was incrediblyhard I knew I was doing

the right thing

Klaire B Arizona USA

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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28 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 3 l983137983150983150i983150983143 983137 D983137te

Tips

bull Start planning early

bull Donrsquot be afraid to bounce ideas off your friendsparents and others They can provide excellent

suggestions that you havenrsquot even thought about

bull Make sure you let your budget amount of time

available the reasons for dating and Church stan-

dards guide your planning

bull Think of what you hope will happen during the

date from beginning to end This helps you realize

what needs to be done to make the date a success

bull Pay attention to details Call ahead for event times

prices menus and what the proper dress is for

the occasion

bull Plan for emergencies For example what will you

do if you donrsquot have enough money or have car

trouble What if your date gets sick

Homework

Rather than leaving everything to chance dating acad-

emy grads understand what needs to happen and theyplan accordingly

Your homework assignment even if yoursquore years away

from dating is to practice planning an event You can

brainstorm with friends really fun ideas for a date Then

work together to think of what planning is required to

make those ideas actually happen Or you can ask your

parents to let you plan the next family outing

You might choose a place to eat or what to do Plan all

the details (event times travel time cost backup plans)

and then put your plan into action You could evencome up with a dating plan complete with backup ideas

if something goes wrong and share it in family home

evening while talking together around the dinner table

or with friends You may find that properly planning an

activity is almost as much fun as the actual date

The quality of experience yoursquoll have with others is

often determined by what happens before a date begins

Showing up on your datersquos doorstep with no plan is a

recipe for an awkward experience Nobody likes playing

the ldquoWhat do you want to dordquo game

Yoursquore better than that With a little practice you can

become a date-planning champion And young women

no fair skipping this section While most of the time young

men plan and ask for dates yoursquoll still want to have these

skills down for when itrsquos your turn

Group Date IdeasNeed ideas Check out ldsorggoideasNE8 Some

of the youth activities there could be adapted for dates

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 3152

Homework

In the Richardson Dating Academy all of our

children practiced dating invitations For example

our children might call an aunt older sibling or other

family member to practice inviting someone on a

date Or our son or daughter would receive an invita-

tion from a family member and practice responding

They learned how to deal with rejection acceptance

or even a disinterested response or two

Now itrsquos your turn Working with your parents ask

them to line up somebody in your family you can call

and practice inviting on a date Make sure you do this

more than once

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 29

You know your dating standards front and back

yoursquove watched others in dating situations and

yoursquove come up with a solid date plan

Congratulations Now you still need to invite

someone Or you need to know how to respond

when you are invited So whatrsquos the best way A

phone call Ask in person Here are some different

points to consider

Lesso983150 4 I983150viti983150983143 Others 983137983150d Bei983150983143 I983150vited

Tips

bull Be ready to give details when you invite

someone on a date Talk about what you have

planned start and end times whorsquos participat-ing and how they should dress (casual dressy

etc) Your excellent planning from academy

lesson 3 makes this part of the academy easy

bull Therersquos a time to talk by phone and a time to

ask face-to-face The more important the event

is the more personal the invitation should be

Donrsquot be afraid to skip technology and actually

talk with someone

bull Some events may require you to speak with

your datersquos parents first This shows respectand courtesy

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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30 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 5 O983150 the D983137te

It would be impossible for any dating academy to cover

every little thing to consider or plan for in dating So much

depends on good judgment communication with your par-

ents and listening to the Spirit

Still here are a few key points you might want to brush

up on before putting your date plan into action

Tips

bull Develop a ldquoyou firstrdquo attitude This means you always

think of your date first Is he or she having fun Is he or

she comfortable

bull Make sure you dress appropriately for the occasion

The way you dress usually communicates how you feelabout others and about the event Know the difference

between casual (but never sloppy) semiformal and

formal and when it would be appropriate to dress in

those ways

bull Show common courtesy by opening doors saying

thank you talking less about yourself and more about

your date and extending sincere compliments

bull Learn how to navigate restaurants Know how to make

a reservation get a table calculate a service tip and

pay the bill

Homework

Once again the best way to learn any good skill is by practic-

ing it Our youth enjoyed role-playing different situations

to think about how to act most appropriately We

also loved going out to eat as part of the dating acad-

emy experience Our children learned how to act in

a restaurant order a meal calculate the tip and paythe bill by actually doing it when they were with us

Look for opportunities to practice skills you should use on a

date For example the next time you and your family go some-

where ask your parents to let you purchase the tickets order

the meal or calculate the tip Treat your family or friends with

the same respect and courtesy that you should show others on a

date Open doors for your family be the first to say ldquothank yourdquo

and pay attention so you are part of the conversation

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 31

Lesso983150 6 The Doorste983152

NOTES

1 Thomas S Monson ldquoPreparation BringsBlessingsrdquo Ensign May 2010 64

2 Russell M Nelson ldquoCelestial Marriagerdquo Ensign Nov 2008 93

3 Jeffrey R Holland ldquoWe Are All Enlistedrdquo Ensign Nov 2011 45

4 ldquoMessage to the Youth from The First Presi-dencyrdquo For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

5 John Bytheway ldquoWhat Do Kisses Meanrdquo New Era Oct 2004 38ndash41

Last but not least dating

academy graduates know how

to conclude a date on the right

note Nothing sours a great date

more than a bad ending

Herersquos how you can finish a

date with success

Tips

bull Express gratitude Be sincere

and to the point If there was something you especially

liked tell your date what

it was

bull Therersquos no reason for drag-

ging things on at this point

Yoursquove already spent plenty

of time together Avoid the

ldquodoorstep shufflerdquo When

people arenrsquot sure what to

say they tend to shuffle backand forth or move their feet

in place If you find yourself

ldquoshufflingrdquo in place itrsquos a

pretty good signal that you

need to say good-bye

bull Know and follow the

Churchrsquos counsel on kissing

and physical intimacy (You

might also want to read John

Bythewayrsquos article ldquoWhat Do

Kisses Meanrdquo5 at ldsorggo

kissesNE8)

Homework

Yes herersquos another opportunity for practicing Our family has spent several family

home evenings role-playing doorstep good-byes Itrsquos been both helpful and fun to

watch an older sibling coach the younger sibling with dorsquos and donrsquots

Most memorable was an older sister showing how she could turn a hug into a

handshake with the grace of a princess and the speed of a ninja You too can get

together with family members and role-play different scenarios that might happen on

a doorstep We guarantee itrsquoll be an academy night yoursquoll all remember

Gr983137du983137tio983150

If yoursquove studied all the

material worked on the tips done

the homework and talked through

the lessons with your parents and

family you too can become a

dating academy graduate

As you continue strengthening

these important skills yoursquoll find

support strength and power that

will bless your relationships both

now and in the future You will be

better prepared for happiness NE

Do Try This at HomeInterested in having a dating academy at

home Let your parents know therersquos an RDAarticle for them in this monthrsquos Ensign or atldsorggoRDA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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32 N e w E r a

S U N DA Y L E S S

O N S

This Monthrsquos Topic

Ma r r iage a nd

Fa m i l y

MARRIAGE IS WORTH ITldquoIt is so rewarding to bemarried Marriage is wonder-ful In time you begin to thinkalike and have the same ideasand impressions You havetimes when you are extremelyhappy times of testing andtimes of trial but the Lordguides you through all ofthose growth experiencestogetherrdquo

Elder Richard G Scott of the

Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo

Ensign May 2011 96

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 33

We love being marr ied and he

rersquos why

By Ben and Rachel Nielsen

Letrsquos face it girls (and boys) itrsquos nice to know that someone loves you

And when yoursquore married you have chances to share and receive love every

day When I was talking to my parents about the possibility of marrying

Ben my dad said ldquoWhomever you choose to marry I want him to fre-

quently and sincerely express his love for you like Elder Richard G Scott did

for his wiferdquo3 I listened to Dad

I decided to marry Ben and he has always made an effort to express

his love to me in small and big ways During my senior year of college I

worked for months to prepare apply and interview for a prestigious intern-ship And when I finally heard that I got the job I came home and saw a

vase full of flowers from my husband He knew how hard I had worked and

how much the internship meant to me At other times hersquoll hide my favorite

drink and a love note in the fridge before he heads out for a weekend Scout

camp And every day hersquoll do the dishes and make me laugh Ben is great at

expressing his love for me and that brings both of us great joy

During my mission in Brazil I grew to love soccer One thing that I lovemost about this sport is having teammates and learning how to work together

with my team Rachel is a fantastic teammate She helps me achieve my

goals joins me in making important decisions and is there for me when I

have trouble

When we were sealed in the temple we promised to ldquohelp one another as

equal partnersrdquo2 Rachel and I strive to support each other in everything we

do and itrsquos great to know that I always have a reliable teammate

After our first date we both

knew we wanted to go

on a second date Ben

wanted to go on

another date because Rachel was

friendly and fun to talk to Rachel

wanted to go on another date

because Ben was a gentleman

and was still smiling after all of

his well-laid plans fell through

After the second date plus manymore dates and prayers after

that we fell in love and decided

to get married in the Sacramento

California Temple

The wedding day was abso-

lutely perfect and we have loved

being married ever since The

world may see marriage differ-

ently but we know that ldquono other

relationship of any kind canbring as much joy generate as

much good or produce as much

personal refinementrdquo1 Marriage

is awesome and herersquos why

FROM BEN A T e a m m a t e

FROM RACHEL

E x p r e s s i o n s o f L o v e

WHY MARRIAGE IS

A w e s o m e

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34 N e w E r a

JOIN THE CONVERSATION

Things to Ponder for Sunday

bull What qualities and attitudes make for the strongest

and happiest marriages and families

bull What are you doing now that will help your future

marriage and family stay strong and happy

Things You Might Do

bull Share with some friends your goal of marrying and

having a family and tell them why

bull In church share why you are looking forward

to marriage and family and how you are pre-

paring for them

serving in the Church and inviting others to come unto

Christ As we work together to build the kingdom of God

we grow closer our love deepens and life is more fulfilling

Dating Rachel is so much fun In fact we make surethat we still frequently go on dates even as a married

couple After we first met we found that we enjoy many

of the same activities walking through parks attending

plays watching sporting events eating new and different

food listening to music and so much more I loved doing

these things before I met Rachel but theyrsquore even more

fun now that we get to share them together When yoursquore

married you have someone to enjoy life withmdashand that

makes life awesome

Before I met Ben I was nearing the age of missionary

service and had seriously considered serving a full-time

mission But then Ben entered my life and I knew that

Heavenly Father had a different plan for me

When Ben and I got engaged relatives who knew

about my thoughts to serve a mission asked me about my

choice and I would tell them ldquoI decided that I wanted topick my own missionary companionmdashand stay with him

for eternityrdquo

When yoursquore married you and your spouse have the

chance to participate in the work of salvation together

Ben and I have found great joy in building a Christ-

centered home studying and living the gospel together

Despite what the world may say marriage is awesome

and is worth making a priority When yoursquore married you

have a teammate you give and receive love you enjoy life

more fully and you have someone to build the kingdom

of God with All of that brings us great joy and because

we were sealed in the temple we can have this joy forever

If we keep our covenants we will be together for eternityand receive the crowning blessings of the priesthood We

ldquohave found in marriage the richest fulfillment of human

existencerdquo 4 NE

Ben and Rachel Nielsen live in Utah USA

NOTES

1 L Whitney Clayton ldquoMarriage Watch and Learnrdquo Ensign May 2013 83 2 ldquoThe Family A Proclamation to the Worldrdquo Ensign Nov 2010 129 3 See Richard G Scott ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo Ensign May

2011 96 4 James E Faust ldquoEnriching Your Marriagerdquo Ensign Apr 2007 6

FROM BEN M o r e E n jo y m e n t

FROM RACHEL A n E t e r n a l M is s i o n a r y C o m p a n io n

TAKE IT FROM US

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Your family can help unite the family of GodYou can all share the gospel in natural and pleasant ways

P H O T O I L L U S T R A T I O N B Y D A V I D S T O K E R

M O R M O N A D

(See M Russell Ballard ldquoPut Your Trust in the Lordrdquo Ensign Nov 2013 43)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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36 N e w E r a

By Alex Larsen

I always knew I wanted to be a mother but when I was grow-

ing up it wasnrsquot always on my mind When my fianceacute and I

were engaged one day I was talking with one of my college

professorsmdasha woman I greatly admiredmdashabout my engage-

ment She said something that brought my life choices into sharp

focus ldquoYou are wasting your talentrdquo she told me as she shook

her head She went on to say that someone as smart as I was

should not get married young She assumed I would have chil-

dren in my future and would be ldquothrowing awayrdquo my education

and chances of a stellar career on my future motherhood I could

tell by the way she looked at me that she thought I was making

a terrible and naiumlve mistake

Itrsquos been several years since that conversation and my hus-

band and I have two little girls Kate is three years old and is

my little sweetheart She moves through life at a leisurely pace

savoring all of the little details she notices Annabel is one yearold with bright blue eyes and a head of curls Shersquos exuberant

and determined Though I didnrsquot change my mind because of

what my professor said our discussion has stayed with me In

one way my professorrsquos predictions were correct I do not have

a prestigious working career But my professor got the most

important point wrong because I have wasted nothing

g i v i n

g u p e v e r y

t hi n g

but wh a t

I

g a i n ed

w as w o r t h so much m o r e

T h e wor l d t o l d me

I w ould

b e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 3952

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 37

their spirits growing and developing I remember

the first time Kate pointed to a picture of the Savior and

said ldquoJesusrdquo I knew then that what I was doing was eter-

nally significant in the lives of my children

The world often tells us that lifersquos rewards come in

the form of status money or grand accomplishments

but I know therersquos great satisfaction even in the small

acts of changing diapers or wiping sticky fingers Every

little thing I do as a mother is part of helping to build the

kingdom of God by nurturing His children I always knew

I wanted children but it was not until I held my first baby

in my arms that I began to realize how much my heart

was capable of loving

The love I have for my daughters has helped me bet-

ter understand how much my Heavenly Father loves all

of His children When speaking of little children Jesustaught that ldquoof such is the kingdom of heavenrdquo (Matthew

1914) More than anything motherhood has helped me

to grow as a daughter of God because now I know what

a daughter of God looks like from the eyes of a parent

The world makes us think that a woman loses herself in

motherhoodmdashshe loses her body her free time and her

career But I have found myself in motherhood I feel

more beautiful and more valuable than ever before NE

Alex Larsen lives in California USA

I love the opportunity to stay home and care for my

young children because these are the most formative

years of their lives I have the opportunity to create a rich

home environment for my girls by reading and discussing

things with them as part of our everyday life Kate will

often astound me by remembering and commenting on

something wersquod read in a book several weeks before and

Annabel learns a new skill almost every day But as fun

and important as it is to watch them learn new

information and skills I feel the

most satisfied when I see

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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38 N e w E r a

One o f t h e g r e a t e s t ad v enture s o f y o u r l i f e w i l l b e y our rol e a n d c a l l i n g a s a f a t her

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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ROcksROcksROcks

NOTE

1 See Thomas S Monson ldquoWelcome to Conferencerdquo Ensign Nov 2012 4ndash5

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 39

DA D D A DD AD

By Chris Deaver

W

hen I was younger I loved spending time

with my dad He always knew the bestgames to play the best stories to tell at night

and the most interesting sports to try It was

like he was born to be a great dad

Fast-forward my life to when I married my sweetheart

Julia and then even further to the moment that our first

child Daniel was born I was filled with a rush of emo-

tions I was happy shocked amazed and a little scared

I felt totally inadequate to be a father and to have the

responsibility of teaching and being an example to my son

But I quickly realized that Irsquod been preparing all my life tobe a dad When I held my son in my arms for the first time

and looked down into his face I felt the Spirit touch my

heart and I realized that I was ready to try to be a great

dad just like my own dad was to me

When Daniel was very young he already had a great

sense of humor He learned to tell hilarious jokes that

would make my wife and me laugh He also often said

things that inspired us Shortly after hearing President

Thomas S Monson announce the change in age require-

ments for young men and young women preparingto serve missions1 we were driving in the car Daniel

announced that he would start preparing himself right

then at age six so he would have 12 years of preparation

Then he said with a smile ldquoDad can I change the song

from lsquoI Hope They Call Me on a Missionrsquo to lsquoI AM Going on

a Missionrsquordquo It was awesome

WHYbeing a

Three years after Daniel was born he was followed by his

brother Austin For me as a dad itrsquos been great to watch bothboys become best friends And Austin has been just as fun

as Daniel in his own way He enjoys building and destroying

block towers and one of his favorite activities is to fearlessly

wrestle me as if I stand no chance against his four-year-old

powers Of course I give in and let him winmdashso I guess I

reinforce his belief But itrsquos so much fun I know hersquoll be a

great wrestler but what I want most is for him to wrestle

ldquoagainst the rulers of the darkness of this worldrdquo and ldquoagainst

spiritual wickednessrdquo like it says in the scriptures (Ephesians

612) And I hope Irsquom helping to prepare him to do that We just recently had our third child a baby girl named

Faith During the delivery my wife was having some com-

plications and we were scared for our baby I gave Julia

a blessing Then she asked me to sing to her The Spirit

brought peace to both of us Soon baby Faith came safely

into the world It was a miracle and she definitely lived up

to her name Faithrsquos beautiful smile brightens my life I canrsquot

express in words how much she means to me

For any young man still wondering let me tell you You

were born to be a great dad The world may not agree butfatherhood is the best Someday yoursquoll find that your kids

inspire you too and that being a dad is the greatest adven-

ture of your life Yes itrsquos a duty and something you need to

take seriously but being a dad is unlike anything else NE

Chris Deaver lives in Florida USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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40 N e w E r a

We always seem to be encouraged to read more

because well everyone knows that reading is a

good thing But not all books are worth reading and just

because sexual material is written about rather than pho-

tographed or video recorded doesnrsquot mean that itrsquos less

morally hazardous Making a common display of a sacred

intimacy thatrsquos intended to only be part of a marriage rela-

tionship is wrongmdashwhether in words or imagesIf something yoursquore reading contains explicit sexual

descriptions that imprint themselves on your mind and

arouse sexual feelings in the same way that looking at

pornographic images would then guess what Itrsquos pornog-

raphy Remember the counsel in For the Strength of Youth

ldquoChoose wisely when using media because whatever you

read listen to or look at has an effect on you Select only

media that uplifts yourdquo ([2011] 11) NE

T O T H E P O I N T

President Boyd K

Packer President of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoEach

of us must come to ourown personal testimony

of the Lord Jesus Christ

We then share that testi-

mony with our family and

othersrdquo1 It can sometimes

be easy to question the

depth of your testimony

I know looking at pornographic

pictures is wrong but whatabout reading books with

ldquoromanticrdquo scenes

If I donrsquot have a burning

desire to share thegospel does that mean I

donrsquot have a testimony

when you compare your-

self to people like Brigham

Young who once said ldquoI

wanted to thunder and

roar out the gospel to thenations It burned in my

bones like fire pent uprdquo2

So what if you donrsquot feel

fire in your bones

Hopefully your lack of

desire doesnrsquot come from

a lack of concern for your

fellowmen As your faith in

Jesus Christ grows so does

your love of all people a

love that is a mark of the

true followers of Christ (see

Moroni 748 John 1335)

Itrsquos likely however

that your hesitancy sim-

ply comes from fear and

anxiety about speaking toothers For many people

such feelings can be over-

whelming Even prophets

have had doubts about their

ability to speak to people

(see Exodus 410 Moses

631) They of course

had no reason to question

their testimoniesmdashand

neither should you if you

are studying the scriptures

pondering praying fasting

repenting and doing all the

other things that help bring

the Spirit into your life

If you feel you just

need a little extra cour-age to share the gos-

pel visit ldsorggo

shareNE8 for ideas NE

NOTES

1 Boyd K Packer ldquoThe Witnessrdquo Ensign May 2014 96

2 Teachings of Presidents ofthe Church Brigham Young (1997) viii

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C O M E F O L L O W M E

Family

983152983137tter983150 of

President Boyd K PackerPresident of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

April 2014 general conference

The ultimate end

of all activity in

the Church is that

a man and his wife

and their childrencan be happy

at home

The FamilyYoursquoll be studying about the family in your Sunday classes

this month As you study and discuss family you may pon-der these questions Why do Church leaders emphasize

family so much What is the place of family in Heavenly

Fatherrsquos plan How does family help make us happy

To find some answers to these questions see the

family proclamation near the back of your Personal

Progress or Duty to God booklet or online at ldsorg

gofamilyNE8 Yoursquoll also find teachings about

family relationships in general conference talks at

conferenceldsorg

Give yourself an easy reminder to prepare for your

Sunday lessons on the family Just place these cards

in your scriptures locker or bedroom You can also

download or share them online at ldsorggocardsNE8 B A C K G R O U N D T E X T U R E

B Y I S T O C K P H O T O T H I N K S T O C K

We 983150eed We 983150eed

MOR E

983155tre983150983143the983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

RELATIONSHIPS

983153u983137lity 983153u983137lity TIME amp EFFORT INTO

TO PUT

983155re983150983143te983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4452

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4552

T H E E X T R A S M I L E

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 43

I dont like to pack so I rsquo m just wearing all my stuff

JON CLARK

W h a t m a k e s y o

u t h i n k

D a d rsquo s t a l k i n g t o

t h e

p r o p h e t

B ecaus e h e s ai d h e w as on a conf er ence cal l

RYAN STOKER

F r o m n o w o n j u s t t a k e

a p i c t u r e o f t h e t o o t h a n

d

u p l o a d i t t o m y F a c e b o o k

p a g e

a n d t h e n I rsquo l l s e n d y o u t h e

m o n e y t h r o u g h P a y P a l

RANDY GLASBERGEN

[Gasp] He he made h is bed this morning

And I didnrsquo t even ask

VAL CHADWICK BAGLEY

Who says there arenrsquo t modern m iracles

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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44 N e w E r a

ldquoMymom works

Since you donrsquot see your mom often make sure that

the time you do have together is used well You

could talk to your mom about how to do this She

wants a good relationship with you too and will

help you work on it Try asking her what she would

appreciate coming home to a clean house doing an activity

together just talking with you As you regularly do activities your mom appreciates your relationship will improve

Of course you could plan some fun activities to do together

but any meaningful time togethermdashsuch as washing the dishes

or reading the scripturesmdashcan be a great way to build your

relationship

Also plan time for communication Understanding one

another is a key ingredient in good relationships One thing

to discuss is how your momrsquos work schedule will affect your

relationship with her You can avoid misunderstandings if you

talk about your expectations as well as your momrsquosPrayer will help Families are important to Heavenly Father

so He can inspire you to know how to improve your relation-

ship with your mom Donrsquot ignore a prompting to do something

that seems small (see Alma 376) A hug and a smile for exam-

ple can make a big difference NE

Write a Note

Even if you have very

little time together you

can still express your

love to your mother

Write her thoughtful secret notes As

she reads them at work she will think

of you Do as much as you can for

her Think about her more often and

pray for her Ask the Lord to inspire

you and prompt you regarding how

you can improve your relationship Irinka E 20 Odessa Ukraine

Seek to Understand Her

Try to understand her situation

because she works for your benefit

You can begin by helping with things

at home like cleaning the house

helping your siblings and cooking

You also can share scriptures with

your mom pray together and doactivities that you like to do together

Morony M 18 Chihuahua Mexico

Have a Special Sunday

On some Sundays we

have a special lunch

or dinner with a new

dessert we talk and at

the end we sing hymns This brings

us together and helps us be betterfriends

Rebeca N 12 Satildeo Paulo Brazil

Try an Experiment

We arrange time to be together hav-

ing family home evening playing

games going to the beach having

lunch together All of this helps to

Q U E S T I O N S amp A N S W E R S

all day Howcan I improve our

relationshiprdquo

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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keep the flame of a good relationship

alive When we disagree we avoid

criticizing I know that sometimes I

ask not to do housework but this

contributes to disharmony in the

home Since I began this experiment

mdashcomplaining less lowering my

voice helping more with housework

and talking more with my mothermdash

a sweet spirit has developed in our

home and we cooperate more

Glenda C 18 Bahia Brazil

Help at Home

Do some extra chores

around the house Your

mom has been work-

ing all day If she has

less work to do when she gets home

shersquoll probably be happier and have

more time to talk and do things with

you While you are talking you canask about her day at work It will

show her that you care and it will

open doors for other topics of discus-

sion allowing you to grow closer

Heather B 18 Oregon USA

Find Something You BothLike to Do

My mumrsquos relationship with me

skyrocketed when I said ldquoI want tospend more time with you but I donrsquot

know what to do or when to do itrdquo

Playing board games happens to be

our favorite pastime So we set aside

a time together to play laugh and

make memories When you are open

with your parents eventually they

become your best companions You

UPCOMING QUESTION

ldquoMy parents just

got divorced Irsquom angry that they

have broken up our

family How doI forgive themrdquo

Send your answer and photo by

September 15 2014

Go to neweraldsorg click ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo enter your LDS Accountand then select ldquoNew Erardquo

Responses may be edited for length

or clarity

Responses are intended for help and per-

spective not as official pronouncements ofChurch doctrine

will be able to talk to them about

anything and you will be sure of an

honest answer That is the sign of a

mature relationship

Ephraim S 15 New South Wales Australia

Read Scriptures Together

Both of you could set a goal to read

together every day even just five

minutes from the Book of Mormon

or any other Church book It will

strengthen your relationship andnourish you with the word of God

so you can be ready to face each day

Remember also to pray to God and

ask for His help I know He hears you

and loves you

Laura M 19 Coacuterdoba Argentina

LEARN FROM

YOUR MOTHER

ldquoPlease look to yourfaithful mothers fora pattern to followModel yourselves

after them not after celebritieswhose standards are not the Lordrsquosstandards and whose values maynot reflect an eternal perspectiveLook to your mother Learn fromher strengths her courage andher faithfulness Listen to her She

may not be a whiz at texting shemay not even have a Facebookpage But when it comes to mat-ters of the heart and the thingsof the Lord she has a wealth ofknowledgerdquo

Elder M Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles ldquoMothers and Daughtersrdquo

Ensign May 2010 19

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46 N e w E r a

MISERABLE TOTHE END OFTHE STREET

For one family home evening my

dad wanted to take advantage

of a pause in the rainy weather

to go on a walk around the neighbor-

hood I grumbled and complained

that it was too wet and muddy to

go walking I used the excuse that

I had a ballet recital that week and

didnrsquot want to sprain an ankle but

my dad didnrsquot buy it He insisted thatit was going to be the activity for the

evening I murmured a bit more about

the unfairness and my recital but we

left on the walk anyway

As I glumly stomped outside for

the walk with my family I was deter-

mined not to smile or be happy I

succeeded in feeling miserable until

I N S T A N T M E S S A G E S

we reached the end of the street Then

we turned the corner and I saw in full

force naturersquos beauty and wonder

Before me was a gorgeous sunset

and opposite it was a rainbow arching

above our neighborhood rooftops

I immediately forgot all about being

miserable and looked around in awe

On the way home I said a prayer of

gratitude thanking God for the beautyof His creations I later thanked my

dad for choosing the activity and for

allowing us to enjoy nature for that

family home evening

Jennie H North Carolina USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 47

STANDARDS AND FRIENDS

Since Irsquove been in school Irsquove had friends who havenrsquot understood the

moral standards of our religion At first it was difficult but over time

my friends have become used to the idea of my being morally clean I

made a goal in my life to be clean and pure and itrsquos worked out well both

for me and for those who used to criticize me Over time respect peace and

joy have become a part of our loving circle of friends

Vitoacuteria M Brazil

A DIFFICULT DECISION

FORGIVINGMY FRIENDS

As the only member of the

Church in my peer group

Irsquove experienced some

instances when my friends have

offended me Sometimes they judge

and criticize my religion I feel so

alone yet Irsquom thankful I know the

standards of the Church

If my friends offend me I try to

humble myself and avoid contention

because I know contention is evil When they start discussing some mat-

ters about the Church I just testify of

my belief in the gospel

I always forgive my friends with or

without their apology Forgiving is not

just about saying ldquoApology acceptedrdquo

or ldquoItrsquos OKrdquo because forgiveness has

a deep meaning Jesus Christ atoned

for our sins so that Heavenly Father

can forgive usEven though my friends donrsquot

understand my faith now I know that

I can be Godrsquos instrument to teach

them the gospel I am helping them

and at the same time I am helping

myself to grow spiritually and prepare

to serve a mission

Joshua V Philippines

As volleyball tryouts approached for my senior year in high

school I couldnrsquot believe the thought that was running through

my head I wasnrsquot supposed to play volleyball Irsquod played vol-

leyball since seventh grademdashwhy should this year be any different

Not seeing the sense in quitting I ignored the feeling and continued

to participate in summer volleyball events After a while the feeling

came back so I decided that if I really wasnrsquot supposed to be on the

team my coach would just cut me during tryouts

Then one night at the gym I couldnrsquot focus on the game at all I felt

terrible and restless inside I came home frustrated with my team and

with myself I sat next to my mom and sister and cried I told them

how confused I was and my mom told me to pray and ask Heavenly

Father what He wanted me to do I went up to my room and began to

pray I told Heavenly Father how I felt then I asked Him to help mefeel peace if I was not supposed to continue playing volleyball I felt

His peace in my heart and knew that I needed to quit

Irsquom still not sure all the reasons why that was the right

decision but I know that itrsquos what the Lord

wanted me to do and thatrsquos a good

enough reason for me

The next morning I told my

coach and my teammates that

I wasnrsquot going to be playing

Even though it was incrediblyhard I knew I was doing

the right thing

Klaire B Arizona USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5252

WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 3152

Homework

In the Richardson Dating Academy all of our

children practiced dating invitations For example

our children might call an aunt older sibling or other

family member to practice inviting someone on a

date Or our son or daughter would receive an invita-

tion from a family member and practice responding

They learned how to deal with rejection acceptance

or even a disinterested response or two

Now itrsquos your turn Working with your parents ask

them to line up somebody in your family you can call

and practice inviting on a date Make sure you do this

more than once

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 29

You know your dating standards front and back

yoursquove watched others in dating situations and

yoursquove come up with a solid date plan

Congratulations Now you still need to invite

someone Or you need to know how to respond

when you are invited So whatrsquos the best way A

phone call Ask in person Here are some different

points to consider

Lesso983150 4 I983150viti983150983143 Others 983137983150d Bei983150983143 I983150vited

Tips

bull Be ready to give details when you invite

someone on a date Talk about what you have

planned start and end times whorsquos participat-ing and how they should dress (casual dressy

etc) Your excellent planning from academy

lesson 3 makes this part of the academy easy

bull Therersquos a time to talk by phone and a time to

ask face-to-face The more important the event

is the more personal the invitation should be

Donrsquot be afraid to skip technology and actually

talk with someone

bull Some events may require you to speak with

your datersquos parents first This shows respectand courtesy

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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30 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 5 O983150 the D983137te

It would be impossible for any dating academy to cover

every little thing to consider or plan for in dating So much

depends on good judgment communication with your par-

ents and listening to the Spirit

Still here are a few key points you might want to brush

up on before putting your date plan into action

Tips

bull Develop a ldquoyou firstrdquo attitude This means you always

think of your date first Is he or she having fun Is he or

she comfortable

bull Make sure you dress appropriately for the occasion

The way you dress usually communicates how you feelabout others and about the event Know the difference

between casual (but never sloppy) semiformal and

formal and when it would be appropriate to dress in

those ways

bull Show common courtesy by opening doors saying

thank you talking less about yourself and more about

your date and extending sincere compliments

bull Learn how to navigate restaurants Know how to make

a reservation get a table calculate a service tip and

pay the bill

Homework

Once again the best way to learn any good skill is by practic-

ing it Our youth enjoyed role-playing different situations

to think about how to act most appropriately We

also loved going out to eat as part of the dating acad-

emy experience Our children learned how to act in

a restaurant order a meal calculate the tip and paythe bill by actually doing it when they were with us

Look for opportunities to practice skills you should use on a

date For example the next time you and your family go some-

where ask your parents to let you purchase the tickets order

the meal or calculate the tip Treat your family or friends with

the same respect and courtesy that you should show others on a

date Open doors for your family be the first to say ldquothank yourdquo

and pay attention so you are part of the conversation

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 31

Lesso983150 6 The Doorste983152

NOTES

1 Thomas S Monson ldquoPreparation BringsBlessingsrdquo Ensign May 2010 64

2 Russell M Nelson ldquoCelestial Marriagerdquo Ensign Nov 2008 93

3 Jeffrey R Holland ldquoWe Are All Enlistedrdquo Ensign Nov 2011 45

4 ldquoMessage to the Youth from The First Presi-dencyrdquo For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

5 John Bytheway ldquoWhat Do Kisses Meanrdquo New Era Oct 2004 38ndash41

Last but not least dating

academy graduates know how

to conclude a date on the right

note Nothing sours a great date

more than a bad ending

Herersquos how you can finish a

date with success

Tips

bull Express gratitude Be sincere

and to the point If there was something you especially

liked tell your date what

it was

bull Therersquos no reason for drag-

ging things on at this point

Yoursquove already spent plenty

of time together Avoid the

ldquodoorstep shufflerdquo When

people arenrsquot sure what to

say they tend to shuffle backand forth or move their feet

in place If you find yourself

ldquoshufflingrdquo in place itrsquos a

pretty good signal that you

need to say good-bye

bull Know and follow the

Churchrsquos counsel on kissing

and physical intimacy (You

might also want to read John

Bythewayrsquos article ldquoWhat Do

Kisses Meanrdquo5 at ldsorggo

kissesNE8)

Homework

Yes herersquos another opportunity for practicing Our family has spent several family

home evenings role-playing doorstep good-byes Itrsquos been both helpful and fun to

watch an older sibling coach the younger sibling with dorsquos and donrsquots

Most memorable was an older sister showing how she could turn a hug into a

handshake with the grace of a princess and the speed of a ninja You too can get

together with family members and role-play different scenarios that might happen on

a doorstep We guarantee itrsquoll be an academy night yoursquoll all remember

Gr983137du983137tio983150

If yoursquove studied all the

material worked on the tips done

the homework and talked through

the lessons with your parents and

family you too can become a

dating academy graduate

As you continue strengthening

these important skills yoursquoll find

support strength and power that

will bless your relationships both

now and in the future You will be

better prepared for happiness NE

Do Try This at HomeInterested in having a dating academy at

home Let your parents know therersquos an RDAarticle for them in this monthrsquos Ensign or atldsorggoRDA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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32 N e w E r a

S U N DA Y L E S S

O N S

This Monthrsquos Topic

Ma r r iage a nd

Fa m i l y

MARRIAGE IS WORTH ITldquoIt is so rewarding to bemarried Marriage is wonder-ful In time you begin to thinkalike and have the same ideasand impressions You havetimes when you are extremelyhappy times of testing andtimes of trial but the Lordguides you through all ofthose growth experiencestogetherrdquo

Elder Richard G Scott of the

Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo

Ensign May 2011 96

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 33

We love being marr ied and he

rersquos why

By Ben and Rachel Nielsen

Letrsquos face it girls (and boys) itrsquos nice to know that someone loves you

And when yoursquore married you have chances to share and receive love every

day When I was talking to my parents about the possibility of marrying

Ben my dad said ldquoWhomever you choose to marry I want him to fre-

quently and sincerely express his love for you like Elder Richard G Scott did

for his wiferdquo3 I listened to Dad

I decided to marry Ben and he has always made an effort to express

his love to me in small and big ways During my senior year of college I

worked for months to prepare apply and interview for a prestigious intern-ship And when I finally heard that I got the job I came home and saw a

vase full of flowers from my husband He knew how hard I had worked and

how much the internship meant to me At other times hersquoll hide my favorite

drink and a love note in the fridge before he heads out for a weekend Scout

camp And every day hersquoll do the dishes and make me laugh Ben is great at

expressing his love for me and that brings both of us great joy

During my mission in Brazil I grew to love soccer One thing that I lovemost about this sport is having teammates and learning how to work together

with my team Rachel is a fantastic teammate She helps me achieve my

goals joins me in making important decisions and is there for me when I

have trouble

When we were sealed in the temple we promised to ldquohelp one another as

equal partnersrdquo2 Rachel and I strive to support each other in everything we

do and itrsquos great to know that I always have a reliable teammate

After our first date we both

knew we wanted to go

on a second date Ben

wanted to go on

another date because Rachel was

friendly and fun to talk to Rachel

wanted to go on another date

because Ben was a gentleman

and was still smiling after all of

his well-laid plans fell through

After the second date plus manymore dates and prayers after

that we fell in love and decided

to get married in the Sacramento

California Temple

The wedding day was abso-

lutely perfect and we have loved

being married ever since The

world may see marriage differ-

ently but we know that ldquono other

relationship of any kind canbring as much joy generate as

much good or produce as much

personal refinementrdquo1 Marriage

is awesome and herersquos why

FROM BEN A T e a m m a t e

FROM RACHEL

E x p r e s s i o n s o f L o v e

WHY MARRIAGE IS

A w e s o m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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34 N e w E r a

JOIN THE CONVERSATION

Things to Ponder for Sunday

bull What qualities and attitudes make for the strongest

and happiest marriages and families

bull What are you doing now that will help your future

marriage and family stay strong and happy

Things You Might Do

bull Share with some friends your goal of marrying and

having a family and tell them why

bull In church share why you are looking forward

to marriage and family and how you are pre-

paring for them

serving in the Church and inviting others to come unto

Christ As we work together to build the kingdom of God

we grow closer our love deepens and life is more fulfilling

Dating Rachel is so much fun In fact we make surethat we still frequently go on dates even as a married

couple After we first met we found that we enjoy many

of the same activities walking through parks attending

plays watching sporting events eating new and different

food listening to music and so much more I loved doing

these things before I met Rachel but theyrsquore even more

fun now that we get to share them together When yoursquore

married you have someone to enjoy life withmdashand that

makes life awesome

Before I met Ben I was nearing the age of missionary

service and had seriously considered serving a full-time

mission But then Ben entered my life and I knew that

Heavenly Father had a different plan for me

When Ben and I got engaged relatives who knew

about my thoughts to serve a mission asked me about my

choice and I would tell them ldquoI decided that I wanted topick my own missionary companionmdashand stay with him

for eternityrdquo

When yoursquore married you and your spouse have the

chance to participate in the work of salvation together

Ben and I have found great joy in building a Christ-

centered home studying and living the gospel together

Despite what the world may say marriage is awesome

and is worth making a priority When yoursquore married you

have a teammate you give and receive love you enjoy life

more fully and you have someone to build the kingdom

of God with All of that brings us great joy and because

we were sealed in the temple we can have this joy forever

If we keep our covenants we will be together for eternityand receive the crowning blessings of the priesthood We

ldquohave found in marriage the richest fulfillment of human

existencerdquo 4 NE

Ben and Rachel Nielsen live in Utah USA

NOTES

1 L Whitney Clayton ldquoMarriage Watch and Learnrdquo Ensign May 2013 83 2 ldquoThe Family A Proclamation to the Worldrdquo Ensign Nov 2010 129 3 See Richard G Scott ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo Ensign May

2011 96 4 James E Faust ldquoEnriching Your Marriagerdquo Ensign Apr 2007 6

FROM BEN M o r e E n jo y m e n t

FROM RACHEL A n E t e r n a l M is s i o n a r y C o m p a n io n

TAKE IT FROM US

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Your family can help unite the family of GodYou can all share the gospel in natural and pleasant ways

P H O T O I L L U S T R A T I O N B Y D A V I D S T O K E R

M O R M O N A D

(See M Russell Ballard ldquoPut Your Trust in the Lordrdquo Ensign Nov 2013 43)

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36 N e w E r a

By Alex Larsen

I always knew I wanted to be a mother but when I was grow-

ing up it wasnrsquot always on my mind When my fianceacute and I

were engaged one day I was talking with one of my college

professorsmdasha woman I greatly admiredmdashabout my engage-

ment She said something that brought my life choices into sharp

focus ldquoYou are wasting your talentrdquo she told me as she shook

her head She went on to say that someone as smart as I was

should not get married young She assumed I would have chil-

dren in my future and would be ldquothrowing awayrdquo my education

and chances of a stellar career on my future motherhood I could

tell by the way she looked at me that she thought I was making

a terrible and naiumlve mistake

Itrsquos been several years since that conversation and my hus-

band and I have two little girls Kate is three years old and is

my little sweetheart She moves through life at a leisurely pace

savoring all of the little details she notices Annabel is one yearold with bright blue eyes and a head of curls Shersquos exuberant

and determined Though I didnrsquot change my mind because of

what my professor said our discussion has stayed with me In

one way my professorrsquos predictions were correct I do not have

a prestigious working career But my professor got the most

important point wrong because I have wasted nothing

g i v i n

g u p e v e r y

t hi n g

but wh a t

I

g a i n ed

w as w o r t h so much m o r e

T h e wor l d t o l d me

I w ould

b e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 37

their spirits growing and developing I remember

the first time Kate pointed to a picture of the Savior and

said ldquoJesusrdquo I knew then that what I was doing was eter-

nally significant in the lives of my children

The world often tells us that lifersquos rewards come in

the form of status money or grand accomplishments

but I know therersquos great satisfaction even in the small

acts of changing diapers or wiping sticky fingers Every

little thing I do as a mother is part of helping to build the

kingdom of God by nurturing His children I always knew

I wanted children but it was not until I held my first baby

in my arms that I began to realize how much my heart

was capable of loving

The love I have for my daughters has helped me bet-

ter understand how much my Heavenly Father loves all

of His children When speaking of little children Jesustaught that ldquoof such is the kingdom of heavenrdquo (Matthew

1914) More than anything motherhood has helped me

to grow as a daughter of God because now I know what

a daughter of God looks like from the eyes of a parent

The world makes us think that a woman loses herself in

motherhoodmdashshe loses her body her free time and her

career But I have found myself in motherhood I feel

more beautiful and more valuable than ever before NE

Alex Larsen lives in California USA

I love the opportunity to stay home and care for my

young children because these are the most formative

years of their lives I have the opportunity to create a rich

home environment for my girls by reading and discussing

things with them as part of our everyday life Kate will

often astound me by remembering and commenting on

something wersquod read in a book several weeks before and

Annabel learns a new skill almost every day But as fun

and important as it is to watch them learn new

information and skills I feel the

most satisfied when I see

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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38 N e w E r a

One o f t h e g r e a t e s t ad v enture s o f y o u r l i f e w i l l b e y our rol e a n d c a l l i n g a s a f a t her

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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ROcksROcksROcks

NOTE

1 See Thomas S Monson ldquoWelcome to Conferencerdquo Ensign Nov 2012 4ndash5

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 39

DA D D A DD AD

By Chris Deaver

W

hen I was younger I loved spending time

with my dad He always knew the bestgames to play the best stories to tell at night

and the most interesting sports to try It was

like he was born to be a great dad

Fast-forward my life to when I married my sweetheart

Julia and then even further to the moment that our first

child Daniel was born I was filled with a rush of emo-

tions I was happy shocked amazed and a little scared

I felt totally inadequate to be a father and to have the

responsibility of teaching and being an example to my son

But I quickly realized that Irsquod been preparing all my life tobe a dad When I held my son in my arms for the first time

and looked down into his face I felt the Spirit touch my

heart and I realized that I was ready to try to be a great

dad just like my own dad was to me

When Daniel was very young he already had a great

sense of humor He learned to tell hilarious jokes that

would make my wife and me laugh He also often said

things that inspired us Shortly after hearing President

Thomas S Monson announce the change in age require-

ments for young men and young women preparingto serve missions1 we were driving in the car Daniel

announced that he would start preparing himself right

then at age six so he would have 12 years of preparation

Then he said with a smile ldquoDad can I change the song

from lsquoI Hope They Call Me on a Missionrsquo to lsquoI AM Going on

a Missionrsquordquo It was awesome

WHYbeing a

Three years after Daniel was born he was followed by his

brother Austin For me as a dad itrsquos been great to watch bothboys become best friends And Austin has been just as fun

as Daniel in his own way He enjoys building and destroying

block towers and one of his favorite activities is to fearlessly

wrestle me as if I stand no chance against his four-year-old

powers Of course I give in and let him winmdashso I guess I

reinforce his belief But itrsquos so much fun I know hersquoll be a

great wrestler but what I want most is for him to wrestle

ldquoagainst the rulers of the darkness of this worldrdquo and ldquoagainst

spiritual wickednessrdquo like it says in the scriptures (Ephesians

612) And I hope Irsquom helping to prepare him to do that We just recently had our third child a baby girl named

Faith During the delivery my wife was having some com-

plications and we were scared for our baby I gave Julia

a blessing Then she asked me to sing to her The Spirit

brought peace to both of us Soon baby Faith came safely

into the world It was a miracle and she definitely lived up

to her name Faithrsquos beautiful smile brightens my life I canrsquot

express in words how much she means to me

For any young man still wondering let me tell you You

were born to be a great dad The world may not agree butfatherhood is the best Someday yoursquoll find that your kids

inspire you too and that being a dad is the greatest adven-

ture of your life Yes itrsquos a duty and something you need to

take seriously but being a dad is unlike anything else NE

Chris Deaver lives in Florida USA

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40 N e w E r a

We always seem to be encouraged to read more

because well everyone knows that reading is a

good thing But not all books are worth reading and just

because sexual material is written about rather than pho-

tographed or video recorded doesnrsquot mean that itrsquos less

morally hazardous Making a common display of a sacred

intimacy thatrsquos intended to only be part of a marriage rela-

tionship is wrongmdashwhether in words or imagesIf something yoursquore reading contains explicit sexual

descriptions that imprint themselves on your mind and

arouse sexual feelings in the same way that looking at

pornographic images would then guess what Itrsquos pornog-

raphy Remember the counsel in For the Strength of Youth

ldquoChoose wisely when using media because whatever you

read listen to or look at has an effect on you Select only

media that uplifts yourdquo ([2011] 11) NE

T O T H E P O I N T

President Boyd K

Packer President of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoEach

of us must come to ourown personal testimony

of the Lord Jesus Christ

We then share that testi-

mony with our family and

othersrdquo1 It can sometimes

be easy to question the

depth of your testimony

I know looking at pornographic

pictures is wrong but whatabout reading books with

ldquoromanticrdquo scenes

If I donrsquot have a burning

desire to share thegospel does that mean I

donrsquot have a testimony

when you compare your-

self to people like Brigham

Young who once said ldquoI

wanted to thunder and

roar out the gospel to thenations It burned in my

bones like fire pent uprdquo2

So what if you donrsquot feel

fire in your bones

Hopefully your lack of

desire doesnrsquot come from

a lack of concern for your

fellowmen As your faith in

Jesus Christ grows so does

your love of all people a

love that is a mark of the

true followers of Christ (see

Moroni 748 John 1335)

Itrsquos likely however

that your hesitancy sim-

ply comes from fear and

anxiety about speaking toothers For many people

such feelings can be over-

whelming Even prophets

have had doubts about their

ability to speak to people

(see Exodus 410 Moses

631) They of course

had no reason to question

their testimoniesmdashand

neither should you if you

are studying the scriptures

pondering praying fasting

repenting and doing all the

other things that help bring

the Spirit into your life

If you feel you just

need a little extra cour-age to share the gos-

pel visit ldsorggo

shareNE8 for ideas NE

NOTES

1 Boyd K Packer ldquoThe Witnessrdquo Ensign May 2014 96

2 Teachings of Presidents ofthe Church Brigham Young (1997) viii

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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C O M E F O L L O W M E

Family

983152983137tter983150 of

President Boyd K PackerPresident of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

April 2014 general conference

The ultimate end

of all activity in

the Church is that

a man and his wife

and their childrencan be happy

at home

The FamilyYoursquoll be studying about the family in your Sunday classes

this month As you study and discuss family you may pon-der these questions Why do Church leaders emphasize

family so much What is the place of family in Heavenly

Fatherrsquos plan How does family help make us happy

To find some answers to these questions see the

family proclamation near the back of your Personal

Progress or Duty to God booklet or online at ldsorg

gofamilyNE8 Yoursquoll also find teachings about

family relationships in general conference talks at

conferenceldsorg

Give yourself an easy reminder to prepare for your

Sunday lessons on the family Just place these cards

in your scriptures locker or bedroom You can also

download or share them online at ldsorggocardsNE8 B A C K G R O U N D T E X T U R E

B Y I S T O C K P H O T O T H I N K S T O C K

We 983150eed We 983150eed

MOR E

983155tre983150983143the983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

RELATIONSHIPS

983153u983137lity 983153u983137lity TIME amp EFFORT INTO

TO PUT

983155re983150983143te983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4452

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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T H E E X T R A S M I L E

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 43

I dont like to pack so I rsquo m just wearing all my stuff

JON CLARK

W h a t m a k e s y o

u t h i n k

D a d rsquo s t a l k i n g t o

t h e

p r o p h e t

B ecaus e h e s ai d h e w as on a conf er ence cal l

RYAN STOKER

F r o m n o w o n j u s t t a k e

a p i c t u r e o f t h e t o o t h a n

d

u p l o a d i t t o m y F a c e b o o k

p a g e

a n d t h e n I rsquo l l s e n d y o u t h e

m o n e y t h r o u g h P a y P a l

RANDY GLASBERGEN

[Gasp] He he made h is bed this morning

And I didnrsquo t even ask

VAL CHADWICK BAGLEY

Who says there arenrsquo t modern m iracles

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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44 N e w E r a

ldquoMymom works

Since you donrsquot see your mom often make sure that

the time you do have together is used well You

could talk to your mom about how to do this She

wants a good relationship with you too and will

help you work on it Try asking her what she would

appreciate coming home to a clean house doing an activity

together just talking with you As you regularly do activities your mom appreciates your relationship will improve

Of course you could plan some fun activities to do together

but any meaningful time togethermdashsuch as washing the dishes

or reading the scripturesmdashcan be a great way to build your

relationship

Also plan time for communication Understanding one

another is a key ingredient in good relationships One thing

to discuss is how your momrsquos work schedule will affect your

relationship with her You can avoid misunderstandings if you

talk about your expectations as well as your momrsquosPrayer will help Families are important to Heavenly Father

so He can inspire you to know how to improve your relation-

ship with your mom Donrsquot ignore a prompting to do something

that seems small (see Alma 376) A hug and a smile for exam-

ple can make a big difference NE

Write a Note

Even if you have very

little time together you

can still express your

love to your mother

Write her thoughtful secret notes As

she reads them at work she will think

of you Do as much as you can for

her Think about her more often and

pray for her Ask the Lord to inspire

you and prompt you regarding how

you can improve your relationship Irinka E 20 Odessa Ukraine

Seek to Understand Her

Try to understand her situation

because she works for your benefit

You can begin by helping with things

at home like cleaning the house

helping your siblings and cooking

You also can share scriptures with

your mom pray together and doactivities that you like to do together

Morony M 18 Chihuahua Mexico

Have a Special Sunday

On some Sundays we

have a special lunch

or dinner with a new

dessert we talk and at

the end we sing hymns This brings

us together and helps us be betterfriends

Rebeca N 12 Satildeo Paulo Brazil

Try an Experiment

We arrange time to be together hav-

ing family home evening playing

games going to the beach having

lunch together All of this helps to

Q U E S T I O N S amp A N S W E R S

all day Howcan I improve our

relationshiprdquo

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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keep the flame of a good relationship

alive When we disagree we avoid

criticizing I know that sometimes I

ask not to do housework but this

contributes to disharmony in the

home Since I began this experiment

mdashcomplaining less lowering my

voice helping more with housework

and talking more with my mothermdash

a sweet spirit has developed in our

home and we cooperate more

Glenda C 18 Bahia Brazil

Help at Home

Do some extra chores

around the house Your

mom has been work-

ing all day If she has

less work to do when she gets home

shersquoll probably be happier and have

more time to talk and do things with

you While you are talking you canask about her day at work It will

show her that you care and it will

open doors for other topics of discus-

sion allowing you to grow closer

Heather B 18 Oregon USA

Find Something You BothLike to Do

My mumrsquos relationship with me

skyrocketed when I said ldquoI want tospend more time with you but I donrsquot

know what to do or when to do itrdquo

Playing board games happens to be

our favorite pastime So we set aside

a time together to play laugh and

make memories When you are open

with your parents eventually they

become your best companions You

UPCOMING QUESTION

ldquoMy parents just

got divorced Irsquom angry that they

have broken up our

family How doI forgive themrdquo

Send your answer and photo by

September 15 2014

Go to neweraldsorg click ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo enter your LDS Accountand then select ldquoNew Erardquo

Responses may be edited for length

or clarity

Responses are intended for help and per-

spective not as official pronouncements ofChurch doctrine

will be able to talk to them about

anything and you will be sure of an

honest answer That is the sign of a

mature relationship

Ephraim S 15 New South Wales Australia

Read Scriptures Together

Both of you could set a goal to read

together every day even just five

minutes from the Book of Mormon

or any other Church book It will

strengthen your relationship andnourish you with the word of God

so you can be ready to face each day

Remember also to pray to God and

ask for His help I know He hears you

and loves you

Laura M 19 Coacuterdoba Argentina

LEARN FROM

YOUR MOTHER

ldquoPlease look to yourfaithful mothers fora pattern to followModel yourselves

after them not after celebritieswhose standards are not the Lordrsquosstandards and whose values maynot reflect an eternal perspectiveLook to your mother Learn fromher strengths her courage andher faithfulness Listen to her She

may not be a whiz at texting shemay not even have a Facebookpage But when it comes to mat-ters of the heart and the thingsof the Lord she has a wealth ofknowledgerdquo

Elder M Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles ldquoMothers and Daughtersrdquo

Ensign May 2010 19

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46 N e w E r a

MISERABLE TOTHE END OFTHE STREET

For one family home evening my

dad wanted to take advantage

of a pause in the rainy weather

to go on a walk around the neighbor-

hood I grumbled and complained

that it was too wet and muddy to

go walking I used the excuse that

I had a ballet recital that week and

didnrsquot want to sprain an ankle but

my dad didnrsquot buy it He insisted thatit was going to be the activity for the

evening I murmured a bit more about

the unfairness and my recital but we

left on the walk anyway

As I glumly stomped outside for

the walk with my family I was deter-

mined not to smile or be happy I

succeeded in feeling miserable until

I N S T A N T M E S S A G E S

we reached the end of the street Then

we turned the corner and I saw in full

force naturersquos beauty and wonder

Before me was a gorgeous sunset

and opposite it was a rainbow arching

above our neighborhood rooftops

I immediately forgot all about being

miserable and looked around in awe

On the way home I said a prayer of

gratitude thanking God for the beautyof His creations I later thanked my

dad for choosing the activity and for

allowing us to enjoy nature for that

family home evening

Jennie H North Carolina USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 47

STANDARDS AND FRIENDS

Since Irsquove been in school Irsquove had friends who havenrsquot understood the

moral standards of our religion At first it was difficult but over time

my friends have become used to the idea of my being morally clean I

made a goal in my life to be clean and pure and itrsquos worked out well both

for me and for those who used to criticize me Over time respect peace and

joy have become a part of our loving circle of friends

Vitoacuteria M Brazil

A DIFFICULT DECISION

FORGIVINGMY FRIENDS

As the only member of the

Church in my peer group

Irsquove experienced some

instances when my friends have

offended me Sometimes they judge

and criticize my religion I feel so

alone yet Irsquom thankful I know the

standards of the Church

If my friends offend me I try to

humble myself and avoid contention

because I know contention is evil When they start discussing some mat-

ters about the Church I just testify of

my belief in the gospel

I always forgive my friends with or

without their apology Forgiving is not

just about saying ldquoApology acceptedrdquo

or ldquoItrsquos OKrdquo because forgiveness has

a deep meaning Jesus Christ atoned

for our sins so that Heavenly Father

can forgive usEven though my friends donrsquot

understand my faith now I know that

I can be Godrsquos instrument to teach

them the gospel I am helping them

and at the same time I am helping

myself to grow spiritually and prepare

to serve a mission

Joshua V Philippines

As volleyball tryouts approached for my senior year in high

school I couldnrsquot believe the thought that was running through

my head I wasnrsquot supposed to play volleyball Irsquod played vol-

leyball since seventh grademdashwhy should this year be any different

Not seeing the sense in quitting I ignored the feeling and continued

to participate in summer volleyball events After a while the feeling

came back so I decided that if I really wasnrsquot supposed to be on the

team my coach would just cut me during tryouts

Then one night at the gym I couldnrsquot focus on the game at all I felt

terrible and restless inside I came home frustrated with my team and

with myself I sat next to my mom and sister and cried I told them

how confused I was and my mom told me to pray and ask Heavenly

Father what He wanted me to do I went up to my room and began to

pray I told Heavenly Father how I felt then I asked Him to help mefeel peace if I was not supposed to continue playing volleyball I felt

His peace in my heart and knew that I needed to quit

Irsquom still not sure all the reasons why that was the right

decision but I know that itrsquos what the Lord

wanted me to do and thatrsquos a good

enough reason for me

The next morning I told my

coach and my teammates that

I wasnrsquot going to be playing

Even though it was incrediblyhard I knew I was doing

the right thing

Klaire B Arizona USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5252

WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 3252

30 N e w E r a

Lesso983150 5 O983150 the D983137te

It would be impossible for any dating academy to cover

every little thing to consider or plan for in dating So much

depends on good judgment communication with your par-

ents and listening to the Spirit

Still here are a few key points you might want to brush

up on before putting your date plan into action

Tips

bull Develop a ldquoyou firstrdquo attitude This means you always

think of your date first Is he or she having fun Is he or

she comfortable

bull Make sure you dress appropriately for the occasion

The way you dress usually communicates how you feelabout others and about the event Know the difference

between casual (but never sloppy) semiformal and

formal and when it would be appropriate to dress in

those ways

bull Show common courtesy by opening doors saying

thank you talking less about yourself and more about

your date and extending sincere compliments

bull Learn how to navigate restaurants Know how to make

a reservation get a table calculate a service tip and

pay the bill

Homework

Once again the best way to learn any good skill is by practic-

ing it Our youth enjoyed role-playing different situations

to think about how to act most appropriately We

also loved going out to eat as part of the dating acad-

emy experience Our children learned how to act in

a restaurant order a meal calculate the tip and paythe bill by actually doing it when they were with us

Look for opportunities to practice skills you should use on a

date For example the next time you and your family go some-

where ask your parents to let you purchase the tickets order

the meal or calculate the tip Treat your family or friends with

the same respect and courtesy that you should show others on a

date Open doors for your family be the first to say ldquothank yourdquo

and pay attention so you are part of the conversation

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 31

Lesso983150 6 The Doorste983152

NOTES

1 Thomas S Monson ldquoPreparation BringsBlessingsrdquo Ensign May 2010 64

2 Russell M Nelson ldquoCelestial Marriagerdquo Ensign Nov 2008 93

3 Jeffrey R Holland ldquoWe Are All Enlistedrdquo Ensign Nov 2011 45

4 ldquoMessage to the Youth from The First Presi-dencyrdquo For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

5 John Bytheway ldquoWhat Do Kisses Meanrdquo New Era Oct 2004 38ndash41

Last but not least dating

academy graduates know how

to conclude a date on the right

note Nothing sours a great date

more than a bad ending

Herersquos how you can finish a

date with success

Tips

bull Express gratitude Be sincere

and to the point If there was something you especially

liked tell your date what

it was

bull Therersquos no reason for drag-

ging things on at this point

Yoursquove already spent plenty

of time together Avoid the

ldquodoorstep shufflerdquo When

people arenrsquot sure what to

say they tend to shuffle backand forth or move their feet

in place If you find yourself

ldquoshufflingrdquo in place itrsquos a

pretty good signal that you

need to say good-bye

bull Know and follow the

Churchrsquos counsel on kissing

and physical intimacy (You

might also want to read John

Bythewayrsquos article ldquoWhat Do

Kisses Meanrdquo5 at ldsorggo

kissesNE8)

Homework

Yes herersquos another opportunity for practicing Our family has spent several family

home evenings role-playing doorstep good-byes Itrsquos been both helpful and fun to

watch an older sibling coach the younger sibling with dorsquos and donrsquots

Most memorable was an older sister showing how she could turn a hug into a

handshake with the grace of a princess and the speed of a ninja You too can get

together with family members and role-play different scenarios that might happen on

a doorstep We guarantee itrsquoll be an academy night yoursquoll all remember

Gr983137du983137tio983150

If yoursquove studied all the

material worked on the tips done

the homework and talked through

the lessons with your parents and

family you too can become a

dating academy graduate

As you continue strengthening

these important skills yoursquoll find

support strength and power that

will bless your relationships both

now and in the future You will be

better prepared for happiness NE

Do Try This at HomeInterested in having a dating academy at

home Let your parents know therersquos an RDAarticle for them in this monthrsquos Ensign or atldsorggoRDA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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32 N e w E r a

S U N DA Y L E S S

O N S

This Monthrsquos Topic

Ma r r iage a nd

Fa m i l y

MARRIAGE IS WORTH ITldquoIt is so rewarding to bemarried Marriage is wonder-ful In time you begin to thinkalike and have the same ideasand impressions You havetimes when you are extremelyhappy times of testing andtimes of trial but the Lordguides you through all ofthose growth experiencestogetherrdquo

Elder Richard G Scott of the

Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo

Ensign May 2011 96

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 33

We love being marr ied and he

rersquos why

By Ben and Rachel Nielsen

Letrsquos face it girls (and boys) itrsquos nice to know that someone loves you

And when yoursquore married you have chances to share and receive love every

day When I was talking to my parents about the possibility of marrying

Ben my dad said ldquoWhomever you choose to marry I want him to fre-

quently and sincerely express his love for you like Elder Richard G Scott did

for his wiferdquo3 I listened to Dad

I decided to marry Ben and he has always made an effort to express

his love to me in small and big ways During my senior year of college I

worked for months to prepare apply and interview for a prestigious intern-ship And when I finally heard that I got the job I came home and saw a

vase full of flowers from my husband He knew how hard I had worked and

how much the internship meant to me At other times hersquoll hide my favorite

drink and a love note in the fridge before he heads out for a weekend Scout

camp And every day hersquoll do the dishes and make me laugh Ben is great at

expressing his love for me and that brings both of us great joy

During my mission in Brazil I grew to love soccer One thing that I lovemost about this sport is having teammates and learning how to work together

with my team Rachel is a fantastic teammate She helps me achieve my

goals joins me in making important decisions and is there for me when I

have trouble

When we were sealed in the temple we promised to ldquohelp one another as

equal partnersrdquo2 Rachel and I strive to support each other in everything we

do and itrsquos great to know that I always have a reliable teammate

After our first date we both

knew we wanted to go

on a second date Ben

wanted to go on

another date because Rachel was

friendly and fun to talk to Rachel

wanted to go on another date

because Ben was a gentleman

and was still smiling after all of

his well-laid plans fell through

After the second date plus manymore dates and prayers after

that we fell in love and decided

to get married in the Sacramento

California Temple

The wedding day was abso-

lutely perfect and we have loved

being married ever since The

world may see marriage differ-

ently but we know that ldquono other

relationship of any kind canbring as much joy generate as

much good or produce as much

personal refinementrdquo1 Marriage

is awesome and herersquos why

FROM BEN A T e a m m a t e

FROM RACHEL

E x p r e s s i o n s o f L o v e

WHY MARRIAGE IS

A w e s o m e

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34 N e w E r a

JOIN THE CONVERSATION

Things to Ponder for Sunday

bull What qualities and attitudes make for the strongest

and happiest marriages and families

bull What are you doing now that will help your future

marriage and family stay strong and happy

Things You Might Do

bull Share with some friends your goal of marrying and

having a family and tell them why

bull In church share why you are looking forward

to marriage and family and how you are pre-

paring for them

serving in the Church and inviting others to come unto

Christ As we work together to build the kingdom of God

we grow closer our love deepens and life is more fulfilling

Dating Rachel is so much fun In fact we make surethat we still frequently go on dates even as a married

couple After we first met we found that we enjoy many

of the same activities walking through parks attending

plays watching sporting events eating new and different

food listening to music and so much more I loved doing

these things before I met Rachel but theyrsquore even more

fun now that we get to share them together When yoursquore

married you have someone to enjoy life withmdashand that

makes life awesome

Before I met Ben I was nearing the age of missionary

service and had seriously considered serving a full-time

mission But then Ben entered my life and I knew that

Heavenly Father had a different plan for me

When Ben and I got engaged relatives who knew

about my thoughts to serve a mission asked me about my

choice and I would tell them ldquoI decided that I wanted topick my own missionary companionmdashand stay with him

for eternityrdquo

When yoursquore married you and your spouse have the

chance to participate in the work of salvation together

Ben and I have found great joy in building a Christ-

centered home studying and living the gospel together

Despite what the world may say marriage is awesome

and is worth making a priority When yoursquore married you

have a teammate you give and receive love you enjoy life

more fully and you have someone to build the kingdom

of God with All of that brings us great joy and because

we were sealed in the temple we can have this joy forever

If we keep our covenants we will be together for eternityand receive the crowning blessings of the priesthood We

ldquohave found in marriage the richest fulfillment of human

existencerdquo 4 NE

Ben and Rachel Nielsen live in Utah USA

NOTES

1 L Whitney Clayton ldquoMarriage Watch and Learnrdquo Ensign May 2013 83 2 ldquoThe Family A Proclamation to the Worldrdquo Ensign Nov 2010 129 3 See Richard G Scott ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo Ensign May

2011 96 4 James E Faust ldquoEnriching Your Marriagerdquo Ensign Apr 2007 6

FROM BEN M o r e E n jo y m e n t

FROM RACHEL A n E t e r n a l M is s i o n a r y C o m p a n io n

TAKE IT FROM US

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Your family can help unite the family of GodYou can all share the gospel in natural and pleasant ways

P H O T O I L L U S T R A T I O N B Y D A V I D S T O K E R

M O R M O N A D

(See M Russell Ballard ldquoPut Your Trust in the Lordrdquo Ensign Nov 2013 43)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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36 N e w E r a

By Alex Larsen

I always knew I wanted to be a mother but when I was grow-

ing up it wasnrsquot always on my mind When my fianceacute and I

were engaged one day I was talking with one of my college

professorsmdasha woman I greatly admiredmdashabout my engage-

ment She said something that brought my life choices into sharp

focus ldquoYou are wasting your talentrdquo she told me as she shook

her head She went on to say that someone as smart as I was

should not get married young She assumed I would have chil-

dren in my future and would be ldquothrowing awayrdquo my education

and chances of a stellar career on my future motherhood I could

tell by the way she looked at me that she thought I was making

a terrible and naiumlve mistake

Itrsquos been several years since that conversation and my hus-

band and I have two little girls Kate is three years old and is

my little sweetheart She moves through life at a leisurely pace

savoring all of the little details she notices Annabel is one yearold with bright blue eyes and a head of curls Shersquos exuberant

and determined Though I didnrsquot change my mind because of

what my professor said our discussion has stayed with me In

one way my professorrsquos predictions were correct I do not have

a prestigious working career But my professor got the most

important point wrong because I have wasted nothing

g i v i n

g u p e v e r y

t hi n g

but wh a t

I

g a i n ed

w as w o r t h so much m o r e

T h e wor l d t o l d me

I w ould

b e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 37

their spirits growing and developing I remember

the first time Kate pointed to a picture of the Savior and

said ldquoJesusrdquo I knew then that what I was doing was eter-

nally significant in the lives of my children

The world often tells us that lifersquos rewards come in

the form of status money or grand accomplishments

but I know therersquos great satisfaction even in the small

acts of changing diapers or wiping sticky fingers Every

little thing I do as a mother is part of helping to build the

kingdom of God by nurturing His children I always knew

I wanted children but it was not until I held my first baby

in my arms that I began to realize how much my heart

was capable of loving

The love I have for my daughters has helped me bet-

ter understand how much my Heavenly Father loves all

of His children When speaking of little children Jesustaught that ldquoof such is the kingdom of heavenrdquo (Matthew

1914) More than anything motherhood has helped me

to grow as a daughter of God because now I know what

a daughter of God looks like from the eyes of a parent

The world makes us think that a woman loses herself in

motherhoodmdashshe loses her body her free time and her

career But I have found myself in motherhood I feel

more beautiful and more valuable than ever before NE

Alex Larsen lives in California USA

I love the opportunity to stay home and care for my

young children because these are the most formative

years of their lives I have the opportunity to create a rich

home environment for my girls by reading and discussing

things with them as part of our everyday life Kate will

often astound me by remembering and commenting on

something wersquod read in a book several weeks before and

Annabel learns a new skill almost every day But as fun

and important as it is to watch them learn new

information and skills I feel the

most satisfied when I see

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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38 N e w E r a

One o f t h e g r e a t e s t ad v enture s o f y o u r l i f e w i l l b e y our rol e a n d c a l l i n g a s a f a t her

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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ROcksROcksROcks

NOTE

1 See Thomas S Monson ldquoWelcome to Conferencerdquo Ensign Nov 2012 4ndash5

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 39

DA D D A DD AD

By Chris Deaver

W

hen I was younger I loved spending time

with my dad He always knew the bestgames to play the best stories to tell at night

and the most interesting sports to try It was

like he was born to be a great dad

Fast-forward my life to when I married my sweetheart

Julia and then even further to the moment that our first

child Daniel was born I was filled with a rush of emo-

tions I was happy shocked amazed and a little scared

I felt totally inadequate to be a father and to have the

responsibility of teaching and being an example to my son

But I quickly realized that Irsquod been preparing all my life tobe a dad When I held my son in my arms for the first time

and looked down into his face I felt the Spirit touch my

heart and I realized that I was ready to try to be a great

dad just like my own dad was to me

When Daniel was very young he already had a great

sense of humor He learned to tell hilarious jokes that

would make my wife and me laugh He also often said

things that inspired us Shortly after hearing President

Thomas S Monson announce the change in age require-

ments for young men and young women preparingto serve missions1 we were driving in the car Daniel

announced that he would start preparing himself right

then at age six so he would have 12 years of preparation

Then he said with a smile ldquoDad can I change the song

from lsquoI Hope They Call Me on a Missionrsquo to lsquoI AM Going on

a Missionrsquordquo It was awesome

WHYbeing a

Three years after Daniel was born he was followed by his

brother Austin For me as a dad itrsquos been great to watch bothboys become best friends And Austin has been just as fun

as Daniel in his own way He enjoys building and destroying

block towers and one of his favorite activities is to fearlessly

wrestle me as if I stand no chance against his four-year-old

powers Of course I give in and let him winmdashso I guess I

reinforce his belief But itrsquos so much fun I know hersquoll be a

great wrestler but what I want most is for him to wrestle

ldquoagainst the rulers of the darkness of this worldrdquo and ldquoagainst

spiritual wickednessrdquo like it says in the scriptures (Ephesians

612) And I hope Irsquom helping to prepare him to do that We just recently had our third child a baby girl named

Faith During the delivery my wife was having some com-

plications and we were scared for our baby I gave Julia

a blessing Then she asked me to sing to her The Spirit

brought peace to both of us Soon baby Faith came safely

into the world It was a miracle and she definitely lived up

to her name Faithrsquos beautiful smile brightens my life I canrsquot

express in words how much she means to me

For any young man still wondering let me tell you You

were born to be a great dad The world may not agree butfatherhood is the best Someday yoursquoll find that your kids

inspire you too and that being a dad is the greatest adven-

ture of your life Yes itrsquos a duty and something you need to

take seriously but being a dad is unlike anything else NE

Chris Deaver lives in Florida USA

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40 N e w E r a

We always seem to be encouraged to read more

because well everyone knows that reading is a

good thing But not all books are worth reading and just

because sexual material is written about rather than pho-

tographed or video recorded doesnrsquot mean that itrsquos less

morally hazardous Making a common display of a sacred

intimacy thatrsquos intended to only be part of a marriage rela-

tionship is wrongmdashwhether in words or imagesIf something yoursquore reading contains explicit sexual

descriptions that imprint themselves on your mind and

arouse sexual feelings in the same way that looking at

pornographic images would then guess what Itrsquos pornog-

raphy Remember the counsel in For the Strength of Youth

ldquoChoose wisely when using media because whatever you

read listen to or look at has an effect on you Select only

media that uplifts yourdquo ([2011] 11) NE

T O T H E P O I N T

President Boyd K

Packer President of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoEach

of us must come to ourown personal testimony

of the Lord Jesus Christ

We then share that testi-

mony with our family and

othersrdquo1 It can sometimes

be easy to question the

depth of your testimony

I know looking at pornographic

pictures is wrong but whatabout reading books with

ldquoromanticrdquo scenes

If I donrsquot have a burning

desire to share thegospel does that mean I

donrsquot have a testimony

when you compare your-

self to people like Brigham

Young who once said ldquoI

wanted to thunder and

roar out the gospel to thenations It burned in my

bones like fire pent uprdquo2

So what if you donrsquot feel

fire in your bones

Hopefully your lack of

desire doesnrsquot come from

a lack of concern for your

fellowmen As your faith in

Jesus Christ grows so does

your love of all people a

love that is a mark of the

true followers of Christ (see

Moroni 748 John 1335)

Itrsquos likely however

that your hesitancy sim-

ply comes from fear and

anxiety about speaking toothers For many people

such feelings can be over-

whelming Even prophets

have had doubts about their

ability to speak to people

(see Exodus 410 Moses

631) They of course

had no reason to question

their testimoniesmdashand

neither should you if you

are studying the scriptures

pondering praying fasting

repenting and doing all the

other things that help bring

the Spirit into your life

If you feel you just

need a little extra cour-age to share the gos-

pel visit ldsorggo

shareNE8 for ideas NE

NOTES

1 Boyd K Packer ldquoThe Witnessrdquo Ensign May 2014 96

2 Teachings of Presidents ofthe Church Brigham Young (1997) viii

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C O M E F O L L O W M E

Family

983152983137tter983150 of

President Boyd K PackerPresident of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

April 2014 general conference

The ultimate end

of all activity in

the Church is that

a man and his wife

and their childrencan be happy

at home

The FamilyYoursquoll be studying about the family in your Sunday classes

this month As you study and discuss family you may pon-der these questions Why do Church leaders emphasize

family so much What is the place of family in Heavenly

Fatherrsquos plan How does family help make us happy

To find some answers to these questions see the

family proclamation near the back of your Personal

Progress or Duty to God booklet or online at ldsorg

gofamilyNE8 Yoursquoll also find teachings about

family relationships in general conference talks at

conferenceldsorg

Give yourself an easy reminder to prepare for your

Sunday lessons on the family Just place these cards

in your scriptures locker or bedroom You can also

download or share them online at ldsorggocardsNE8 B A C K G R O U N D T E X T U R E

B Y I S T O C K P H O T O T H I N K S T O C K

We 983150eed We 983150eed

MOR E

983155tre983150983143the983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

RELATIONSHIPS

983153u983137lity 983153u983137lity TIME amp EFFORT INTO

TO PUT

983155re983150983143te983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4452

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4552

T H E E X T R A S M I L E

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 43

I dont like to pack so I rsquo m just wearing all my stuff

JON CLARK

W h a t m a k e s y o

u t h i n k

D a d rsquo s t a l k i n g t o

t h e

p r o p h e t

B ecaus e h e s ai d h e w as on a conf er ence cal l

RYAN STOKER

F r o m n o w o n j u s t t a k e

a p i c t u r e o f t h e t o o t h a n

d

u p l o a d i t t o m y F a c e b o o k

p a g e

a n d t h e n I rsquo l l s e n d y o u t h e

m o n e y t h r o u g h P a y P a l

RANDY GLASBERGEN

[Gasp] He he made h is bed this morning

And I didnrsquo t even ask

VAL CHADWICK BAGLEY

Who says there arenrsquo t modern m iracles

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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44 N e w E r a

ldquoMymom works

Since you donrsquot see your mom often make sure that

the time you do have together is used well You

could talk to your mom about how to do this She

wants a good relationship with you too and will

help you work on it Try asking her what she would

appreciate coming home to a clean house doing an activity

together just talking with you As you regularly do activities your mom appreciates your relationship will improve

Of course you could plan some fun activities to do together

but any meaningful time togethermdashsuch as washing the dishes

or reading the scripturesmdashcan be a great way to build your

relationship

Also plan time for communication Understanding one

another is a key ingredient in good relationships One thing

to discuss is how your momrsquos work schedule will affect your

relationship with her You can avoid misunderstandings if you

talk about your expectations as well as your momrsquosPrayer will help Families are important to Heavenly Father

so He can inspire you to know how to improve your relation-

ship with your mom Donrsquot ignore a prompting to do something

that seems small (see Alma 376) A hug and a smile for exam-

ple can make a big difference NE

Write a Note

Even if you have very

little time together you

can still express your

love to your mother

Write her thoughtful secret notes As

she reads them at work she will think

of you Do as much as you can for

her Think about her more often and

pray for her Ask the Lord to inspire

you and prompt you regarding how

you can improve your relationship Irinka E 20 Odessa Ukraine

Seek to Understand Her

Try to understand her situation

because she works for your benefit

You can begin by helping with things

at home like cleaning the house

helping your siblings and cooking

You also can share scriptures with

your mom pray together and doactivities that you like to do together

Morony M 18 Chihuahua Mexico

Have a Special Sunday

On some Sundays we

have a special lunch

or dinner with a new

dessert we talk and at

the end we sing hymns This brings

us together and helps us be betterfriends

Rebeca N 12 Satildeo Paulo Brazil

Try an Experiment

We arrange time to be together hav-

ing family home evening playing

games going to the beach having

lunch together All of this helps to

Q U E S T I O N S amp A N S W E R S

all day Howcan I improve our

relationshiprdquo

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4752

keep the flame of a good relationship

alive When we disagree we avoid

criticizing I know that sometimes I

ask not to do housework but this

contributes to disharmony in the

home Since I began this experiment

mdashcomplaining less lowering my

voice helping more with housework

and talking more with my mothermdash

a sweet spirit has developed in our

home and we cooperate more

Glenda C 18 Bahia Brazil

Help at Home

Do some extra chores

around the house Your

mom has been work-

ing all day If she has

less work to do when she gets home

shersquoll probably be happier and have

more time to talk and do things with

you While you are talking you canask about her day at work It will

show her that you care and it will

open doors for other topics of discus-

sion allowing you to grow closer

Heather B 18 Oregon USA

Find Something You BothLike to Do

My mumrsquos relationship with me

skyrocketed when I said ldquoI want tospend more time with you but I donrsquot

know what to do or when to do itrdquo

Playing board games happens to be

our favorite pastime So we set aside

a time together to play laugh and

make memories When you are open

with your parents eventually they

become your best companions You

UPCOMING QUESTION

ldquoMy parents just

got divorced Irsquom angry that they

have broken up our

family How doI forgive themrdquo

Send your answer and photo by

September 15 2014

Go to neweraldsorg click ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo enter your LDS Accountand then select ldquoNew Erardquo

Responses may be edited for length

or clarity

Responses are intended for help and per-

spective not as official pronouncements ofChurch doctrine

will be able to talk to them about

anything and you will be sure of an

honest answer That is the sign of a

mature relationship

Ephraim S 15 New South Wales Australia

Read Scriptures Together

Both of you could set a goal to read

together every day even just five

minutes from the Book of Mormon

or any other Church book It will

strengthen your relationship andnourish you with the word of God

so you can be ready to face each day

Remember also to pray to God and

ask for His help I know He hears you

and loves you

Laura M 19 Coacuterdoba Argentina

LEARN FROM

YOUR MOTHER

ldquoPlease look to yourfaithful mothers fora pattern to followModel yourselves

after them not after celebritieswhose standards are not the Lordrsquosstandards and whose values maynot reflect an eternal perspectiveLook to your mother Learn fromher strengths her courage andher faithfulness Listen to her She

may not be a whiz at texting shemay not even have a Facebookpage But when it comes to mat-ters of the heart and the thingsof the Lord she has a wealth ofknowledgerdquo

Elder M Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles ldquoMothers and Daughtersrdquo

Ensign May 2010 19

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46 N e w E r a

MISERABLE TOTHE END OFTHE STREET

For one family home evening my

dad wanted to take advantage

of a pause in the rainy weather

to go on a walk around the neighbor-

hood I grumbled and complained

that it was too wet and muddy to

go walking I used the excuse that

I had a ballet recital that week and

didnrsquot want to sprain an ankle but

my dad didnrsquot buy it He insisted thatit was going to be the activity for the

evening I murmured a bit more about

the unfairness and my recital but we

left on the walk anyway

As I glumly stomped outside for

the walk with my family I was deter-

mined not to smile or be happy I

succeeded in feeling miserable until

I N S T A N T M E S S A G E S

we reached the end of the street Then

we turned the corner and I saw in full

force naturersquos beauty and wonder

Before me was a gorgeous sunset

and opposite it was a rainbow arching

above our neighborhood rooftops

I immediately forgot all about being

miserable and looked around in awe

On the way home I said a prayer of

gratitude thanking God for the beautyof His creations I later thanked my

dad for choosing the activity and for

allowing us to enjoy nature for that

family home evening

Jennie H North Carolina USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 47

STANDARDS AND FRIENDS

Since Irsquove been in school Irsquove had friends who havenrsquot understood the

moral standards of our religion At first it was difficult but over time

my friends have become used to the idea of my being morally clean I

made a goal in my life to be clean and pure and itrsquos worked out well both

for me and for those who used to criticize me Over time respect peace and

joy have become a part of our loving circle of friends

Vitoacuteria M Brazil

A DIFFICULT DECISION

FORGIVINGMY FRIENDS

As the only member of the

Church in my peer group

Irsquove experienced some

instances when my friends have

offended me Sometimes they judge

and criticize my religion I feel so

alone yet Irsquom thankful I know the

standards of the Church

If my friends offend me I try to

humble myself and avoid contention

because I know contention is evil When they start discussing some mat-

ters about the Church I just testify of

my belief in the gospel

I always forgive my friends with or

without their apology Forgiving is not

just about saying ldquoApology acceptedrdquo

or ldquoItrsquos OKrdquo because forgiveness has

a deep meaning Jesus Christ atoned

for our sins so that Heavenly Father

can forgive usEven though my friends donrsquot

understand my faith now I know that

I can be Godrsquos instrument to teach

them the gospel I am helping them

and at the same time I am helping

myself to grow spiritually and prepare

to serve a mission

Joshua V Philippines

As volleyball tryouts approached for my senior year in high

school I couldnrsquot believe the thought that was running through

my head I wasnrsquot supposed to play volleyball Irsquod played vol-

leyball since seventh grademdashwhy should this year be any different

Not seeing the sense in quitting I ignored the feeling and continued

to participate in summer volleyball events After a while the feeling

came back so I decided that if I really wasnrsquot supposed to be on the

team my coach would just cut me during tryouts

Then one night at the gym I couldnrsquot focus on the game at all I felt

terrible and restless inside I came home frustrated with my team and

with myself I sat next to my mom and sister and cried I told them

how confused I was and my mom told me to pray and ask Heavenly

Father what He wanted me to do I went up to my room and began to

pray I told Heavenly Father how I felt then I asked Him to help mefeel peace if I was not supposed to continue playing volleyball I felt

His peace in my heart and knew that I needed to quit

Irsquom still not sure all the reasons why that was the right

decision but I know that itrsquos what the Lord

wanted me to do and thatrsquos a good

enough reason for me

The next morning I told my

coach and my teammates that

I wasnrsquot going to be playing

Even though it was incrediblyhard I knew I was doing

the right thing

Klaire B Arizona USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5252

WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 31

Lesso983150 6 The Doorste983152

NOTES

1 Thomas S Monson ldquoPreparation BringsBlessingsrdquo Ensign May 2010 64

2 Russell M Nelson ldquoCelestial Marriagerdquo Ensign Nov 2008 93

3 Jeffrey R Holland ldquoWe Are All Enlistedrdquo Ensign Nov 2011 45

4 ldquoMessage to the Youth from The First Presi-dencyrdquo For the Strength of Youth (2011) ii

5 John Bytheway ldquoWhat Do Kisses Meanrdquo New Era Oct 2004 38ndash41

Last but not least dating

academy graduates know how

to conclude a date on the right

note Nothing sours a great date

more than a bad ending

Herersquos how you can finish a

date with success

Tips

bull Express gratitude Be sincere

and to the point If there was something you especially

liked tell your date what

it was

bull Therersquos no reason for drag-

ging things on at this point

Yoursquove already spent plenty

of time together Avoid the

ldquodoorstep shufflerdquo When

people arenrsquot sure what to

say they tend to shuffle backand forth or move their feet

in place If you find yourself

ldquoshufflingrdquo in place itrsquos a

pretty good signal that you

need to say good-bye

bull Know and follow the

Churchrsquos counsel on kissing

and physical intimacy (You

might also want to read John

Bythewayrsquos article ldquoWhat Do

Kisses Meanrdquo5 at ldsorggo

kissesNE8)

Homework

Yes herersquos another opportunity for practicing Our family has spent several family

home evenings role-playing doorstep good-byes Itrsquos been both helpful and fun to

watch an older sibling coach the younger sibling with dorsquos and donrsquots

Most memorable was an older sister showing how she could turn a hug into a

handshake with the grace of a princess and the speed of a ninja You too can get

together with family members and role-play different scenarios that might happen on

a doorstep We guarantee itrsquoll be an academy night yoursquoll all remember

Gr983137du983137tio983150

If yoursquove studied all the

material worked on the tips done

the homework and talked through

the lessons with your parents and

family you too can become a

dating academy graduate

As you continue strengthening

these important skills yoursquoll find

support strength and power that

will bless your relationships both

now and in the future You will be

better prepared for happiness NE

Do Try This at HomeInterested in having a dating academy at

home Let your parents know therersquos an RDAarticle for them in this monthrsquos Ensign or atldsorggoRDA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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32 N e w E r a

S U N DA Y L E S S

O N S

This Monthrsquos Topic

Ma r r iage a nd

Fa m i l y

MARRIAGE IS WORTH ITldquoIt is so rewarding to bemarried Marriage is wonder-ful In time you begin to thinkalike and have the same ideasand impressions You havetimes when you are extremelyhappy times of testing andtimes of trial but the Lordguides you through all ofthose growth experiencestogetherrdquo

Elder Richard G Scott of the

Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo

Ensign May 2011 96

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 33

We love being marr ied and he

rersquos why

By Ben and Rachel Nielsen

Letrsquos face it girls (and boys) itrsquos nice to know that someone loves you

And when yoursquore married you have chances to share and receive love every

day When I was talking to my parents about the possibility of marrying

Ben my dad said ldquoWhomever you choose to marry I want him to fre-

quently and sincerely express his love for you like Elder Richard G Scott did

for his wiferdquo3 I listened to Dad

I decided to marry Ben and he has always made an effort to express

his love to me in small and big ways During my senior year of college I

worked for months to prepare apply and interview for a prestigious intern-ship And when I finally heard that I got the job I came home and saw a

vase full of flowers from my husband He knew how hard I had worked and

how much the internship meant to me At other times hersquoll hide my favorite

drink and a love note in the fridge before he heads out for a weekend Scout

camp And every day hersquoll do the dishes and make me laugh Ben is great at

expressing his love for me and that brings both of us great joy

During my mission in Brazil I grew to love soccer One thing that I lovemost about this sport is having teammates and learning how to work together

with my team Rachel is a fantastic teammate She helps me achieve my

goals joins me in making important decisions and is there for me when I

have trouble

When we were sealed in the temple we promised to ldquohelp one another as

equal partnersrdquo2 Rachel and I strive to support each other in everything we

do and itrsquos great to know that I always have a reliable teammate

After our first date we both

knew we wanted to go

on a second date Ben

wanted to go on

another date because Rachel was

friendly and fun to talk to Rachel

wanted to go on another date

because Ben was a gentleman

and was still smiling after all of

his well-laid plans fell through

After the second date plus manymore dates and prayers after

that we fell in love and decided

to get married in the Sacramento

California Temple

The wedding day was abso-

lutely perfect and we have loved

being married ever since The

world may see marriage differ-

ently but we know that ldquono other

relationship of any kind canbring as much joy generate as

much good or produce as much

personal refinementrdquo1 Marriage

is awesome and herersquos why

FROM BEN A T e a m m a t e

FROM RACHEL

E x p r e s s i o n s o f L o v e

WHY MARRIAGE IS

A w e s o m e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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34 N e w E r a

JOIN THE CONVERSATION

Things to Ponder for Sunday

bull What qualities and attitudes make for the strongest

and happiest marriages and families

bull What are you doing now that will help your future

marriage and family stay strong and happy

Things You Might Do

bull Share with some friends your goal of marrying and

having a family and tell them why

bull In church share why you are looking forward

to marriage and family and how you are pre-

paring for them

serving in the Church and inviting others to come unto

Christ As we work together to build the kingdom of God

we grow closer our love deepens and life is more fulfilling

Dating Rachel is so much fun In fact we make surethat we still frequently go on dates even as a married

couple After we first met we found that we enjoy many

of the same activities walking through parks attending

plays watching sporting events eating new and different

food listening to music and so much more I loved doing

these things before I met Rachel but theyrsquore even more

fun now that we get to share them together When yoursquore

married you have someone to enjoy life withmdashand that

makes life awesome

Before I met Ben I was nearing the age of missionary

service and had seriously considered serving a full-time

mission But then Ben entered my life and I knew that

Heavenly Father had a different plan for me

When Ben and I got engaged relatives who knew

about my thoughts to serve a mission asked me about my

choice and I would tell them ldquoI decided that I wanted topick my own missionary companionmdashand stay with him

for eternityrdquo

When yoursquore married you and your spouse have the

chance to participate in the work of salvation together

Ben and I have found great joy in building a Christ-

centered home studying and living the gospel together

Despite what the world may say marriage is awesome

and is worth making a priority When yoursquore married you

have a teammate you give and receive love you enjoy life

more fully and you have someone to build the kingdom

of God with All of that brings us great joy and because

we were sealed in the temple we can have this joy forever

If we keep our covenants we will be together for eternityand receive the crowning blessings of the priesthood We

ldquohave found in marriage the richest fulfillment of human

existencerdquo 4 NE

Ben and Rachel Nielsen live in Utah USA

NOTES

1 L Whitney Clayton ldquoMarriage Watch and Learnrdquo Ensign May 2013 83 2 ldquoThe Family A Proclamation to the Worldrdquo Ensign Nov 2010 129 3 See Richard G Scott ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo Ensign May

2011 96 4 James E Faust ldquoEnriching Your Marriagerdquo Ensign Apr 2007 6

FROM BEN M o r e E n jo y m e n t

FROM RACHEL A n E t e r n a l M is s i o n a r y C o m p a n io n

TAKE IT FROM US

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Your family can help unite the family of GodYou can all share the gospel in natural and pleasant ways

P H O T O I L L U S T R A T I O N B Y D A V I D S T O K E R

M O R M O N A D

(See M Russell Ballard ldquoPut Your Trust in the Lordrdquo Ensign Nov 2013 43)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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36 N e w E r a

By Alex Larsen

I always knew I wanted to be a mother but when I was grow-

ing up it wasnrsquot always on my mind When my fianceacute and I

were engaged one day I was talking with one of my college

professorsmdasha woman I greatly admiredmdashabout my engage-

ment She said something that brought my life choices into sharp

focus ldquoYou are wasting your talentrdquo she told me as she shook

her head She went on to say that someone as smart as I was

should not get married young She assumed I would have chil-

dren in my future and would be ldquothrowing awayrdquo my education

and chances of a stellar career on my future motherhood I could

tell by the way she looked at me that she thought I was making

a terrible and naiumlve mistake

Itrsquos been several years since that conversation and my hus-

band and I have two little girls Kate is three years old and is

my little sweetheart She moves through life at a leisurely pace

savoring all of the little details she notices Annabel is one yearold with bright blue eyes and a head of curls Shersquos exuberant

and determined Though I didnrsquot change my mind because of

what my professor said our discussion has stayed with me In

one way my professorrsquos predictions were correct I do not have

a prestigious working career But my professor got the most

important point wrong because I have wasted nothing

g i v i n

g u p e v e r y

t hi n g

but wh a t

I

g a i n ed

w as w o r t h so much m o r e

T h e wor l d t o l d me

I w ould

b e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 37

their spirits growing and developing I remember

the first time Kate pointed to a picture of the Savior and

said ldquoJesusrdquo I knew then that what I was doing was eter-

nally significant in the lives of my children

The world often tells us that lifersquos rewards come in

the form of status money or grand accomplishments

but I know therersquos great satisfaction even in the small

acts of changing diapers or wiping sticky fingers Every

little thing I do as a mother is part of helping to build the

kingdom of God by nurturing His children I always knew

I wanted children but it was not until I held my first baby

in my arms that I began to realize how much my heart

was capable of loving

The love I have for my daughters has helped me bet-

ter understand how much my Heavenly Father loves all

of His children When speaking of little children Jesustaught that ldquoof such is the kingdom of heavenrdquo (Matthew

1914) More than anything motherhood has helped me

to grow as a daughter of God because now I know what

a daughter of God looks like from the eyes of a parent

The world makes us think that a woman loses herself in

motherhoodmdashshe loses her body her free time and her

career But I have found myself in motherhood I feel

more beautiful and more valuable than ever before NE

Alex Larsen lives in California USA

I love the opportunity to stay home and care for my

young children because these are the most formative

years of their lives I have the opportunity to create a rich

home environment for my girls by reading and discussing

things with them as part of our everyday life Kate will

often astound me by remembering and commenting on

something wersquod read in a book several weeks before and

Annabel learns a new skill almost every day But as fun

and important as it is to watch them learn new

information and skills I feel the

most satisfied when I see

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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38 N e w E r a

One o f t h e g r e a t e s t ad v enture s o f y o u r l i f e w i l l b e y our rol e a n d c a l l i n g a s a f a t her

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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ROcksROcksROcks

NOTE

1 See Thomas S Monson ldquoWelcome to Conferencerdquo Ensign Nov 2012 4ndash5

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 39

DA D D A DD AD

By Chris Deaver

W

hen I was younger I loved spending time

with my dad He always knew the bestgames to play the best stories to tell at night

and the most interesting sports to try It was

like he was born to be a great dad

Fast-forward my life to when I married my sweetheart

Julia and then even further to the moment that our first

child Daniel was born I was filled with a rush of emo-

tions I was happy shocked amazed and a little scared

I felt totally inadequate to be a father and to have the

responsibility of teaching and being an example to my son

But I quickly realized that Irsquod been preparing all my life tobe a dad When I held my son in my arms for the first time

and looked down into his face I felt the Spirit touch my

heart and I realized that I was ready to try to be a great

dad just like my own dad was to me

When Daniel was very young he already had a great

sense of humor He learned to tell hilarious jokes that

would make my wife and me laugh He also often said

things that inspired us Shortly after hearing President

Thomas S Monson announce the change in age require-

ments for young men and young women preparingto serve missions1 we were driving in the car Daniel

announced that he would start preparing himself right

then at age six so he would have 12 years of preparation

Then he said with a smile ldquoDad can I change the song

from lsquoI Hope They Call Me on a Missionrsquo to lsquoI AM Going on

a Missionrsquordquo It was awesome

WHYbeing a

Three years after Daniel was born he was followed by his

brother Austin For me as a dad itrsquos been great to watch bothboys become best friends And Austin has been just as fun

as Daniel in his own way He enjoys building and destroying

block towers and one of his favorite activities is to fearlessly

wrestle me as if I stand no chance against his four-year-old

powers Of course I give in and let him winmdashso I guess I

reinforce his belief But itrsquos so much fun I know hersquoll be a

great wrestler but what I want most is for him to wrestle

ldquoagainst the rulers of the darkness of this worldrdquo and ldquoagainst

spiritual wickednessrdquo like it says in the scriptures (Ephesians

612) And I hope Irsquom helping to prepare him to do that We just recently had our third child a baby girl named

Faith During the delivery my wife was having some com-

plications and we were scared for our baby I gave Julia

a blessing Then she asked me to sing to her The Spirit

brought peace to both of us Soon baby Faith came safely

into the world It was a miracle and she definitely lived up

to her name Faithrsquos beautiful smile brightens my life I canrsquot

express in words how much she means to me

For any young man still wondering let me tell you You

were born to be a great dad The world may not agree butfatherhood is the best Someday yoursquoll find that your kids

inspire you too and that being a dad is the greatest adven-

ture of your life Yes itrsquos a duty and something you need to

take seriously but being a dad is unlike anything else NE

Chris Deaver lives in Florida USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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40 N e w E r a

We always seem to be encouraged to read more

because well everyone knows that reading is a

good thing But not all books are worth reading and just

because sexual material is written about rather than pho-

tographed or video recorded doesnrsquot mean that itrsquos less

morally hazardous Making a common display of a sacred

intimacy thatrsquos intended to only be part of a marriage rela-

tionship is wrongmdashwhether in words or imagesIf something yoursquore reading contains explicit sexual

descriptions that imprint themselves on your mind and

arouse sexual feelings in the same way that looking at

pornographic images would then guess what Itrsquos pornog-

raphy Remember the counsel in For the Strength of Youth

ldquoChoose wisely when using media because whatever you

read listen to or look at has an effect on you Select only

media that uplifts yourdquo ([2011] 11) NE

T O T H E P O I N T

President Boyd K

Packer President of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoEach

of us must come to ourown personal testimony

of the Lord Jesus Christ

We then share that testi-

mony with our family and

othersrdquo1 It can sometimes

be easy to question the

depth of your testimony

I know looking at pornographic

pictures is wrong but whatabout reading books with

ldquoromanticrdquo scenes

If I donrsquot have a burning

desire to share thegospel does that mean I

donrsquot have a testimony

when you compare your-

self to people like Brigham

Young who once said ldquoI

wanted to thunder and

roar out the gospel to thenations It burned in my

bones like fire pent uprdquo2

So what if you donrsquot feel

fire in your bones

Hopefully your lack of

desire doesnrsquot come from

a lack of concern for your

fellowmen As your faith in

Jesus Christ grows so does

your love of all people a

love that is a mark of the

true followers of Christ (see

Moroni 748 John 1335)

Itrsquos likely however

that your hesitancy sim-

ply comes from fear and

anxiety about speaking toothers For many people

such feelings can be over-

whelming Even prophets

have had doubts about their

ability to speak to people

(see Exodus 410 Moses

631) They of course

had no reason to question

their testimoniesmdashand

neither should you if you

are studying the scriptures

pondering praying fasting

repenting and doing all the

other things that help bring

the Spirit into your life

If you feel you just

need a little extra cour-age to share the gos-

pel visit ldsorggo

shareNE8 for ideas NE

NOTES

1 Boyd K Packer ldquoThe Witnessrdquo Ensign May 2014 96

2 Teachings of Presidents ofthe Church Brigham Young (1997) viii

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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C O M E F O L L O W M E

Family

983152983137tter983150 of

President Boyd K PackerPresident of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

April 2014 general conference

The ultimate end

of all activity in

the Church is that

a man and his wife

and their childrencan be happy

at home

The FamilyYoursquoll be studying about the family in your Sunday classes

this month As you study and discuss family you may pon-der these questions Why do Church leaders emphasize

family so much What is the place of family in Heavenly

Fatherrsquos plan How does family help make us happy

To find some answers to these questions see the

family proclamation near the back of your Personal

Progress or Duty to God booklet or online at ldsorg

gofamilyNE8 Yoursquoll also find teachings about

family relationships in general conference talks at

conferenceldsorg

Give yourself an easy reminder to prepare for your

Sunday lessons on the family Just place these cards

in your scriptures locker or bedroom You can also

download or share them online at ldsorggocardsNE8 B A C K G R O U N D T E X T U R E

B Y I S T O C K P H O T O T H I N K S T O C K

We 983150eed We 983150eed

MOR E

983155tre983150983143the983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

RELATIONSHIPS

983153u983137lity 983153u983137lity TIME amp EFFORT INTO

TO PUT

983155re983150983143te983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4452

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4552

T H E E X T R A S M I L E

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 43

I dont like to pack so I rsquo m just wearing all my stuff

JON CLARK

W h a t m a k e s y o

u t h i n k

D a d rsquo s t a l k i n g t o

t h e

p r o p h e t

B ecaus e h e s ai d h e w as on a conf er ence cal l

RYAN STOKER

F r o m n o w o n j u s t t a k e

a p i c t u r e o f t h e t o o t h a n

d

u p l o a d i t t o m y F a c e b o o k

p a g e

a n d t h e n I rsquo l l s e n d y o u t h e

m o n e y t h r o u g h P a y P a l

RANDY GLASBERGEN

[Gasp] He he made h is bed this morning

And I didnrsquo t even ask

VAL CHADWICK BAGLEY

Who says there arenrsquo t modern m iracles

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4652

44 N e w E r a

ldquoMymom works

Since you donrsquot see your mom often make sure that

the time you do have together is used well You

could talk to your mom about how to do this She

wants a good relationship with you too and will

help you work on it Try asking her what she would

appreciate coming home to a clean house doing an activity

together just talking with you As you regularly do activities your mom appreciates your relationship will improve

Of course you could plan some fun activities to do together

but any meaningful time togethermdashsuch as washing the dishes

or reading the scripturesmdashcan be a great way to build your

relationship

Also plan time for communication Understanding one

another is a key ingredient in good relationships One thing

to discuss is how your momrsquos work schedule will affect your

relationship with her You can avoid misunderstandings if you

talk about your expectations as well as your momrsquosPrayer will help Families are important to Heavenly Father

so He can inspire you to know how to improve your relation-

ship with your mom Donrsquot ignore a prompting to do something

that seems small (see Alma 376) A hug and a smile for exam-

ple can make a big difference NE

Write a Note

Even if you have very

little time together you

can still express your

love to your mother

Write her thoughtful secret notes As

she reads them at work she will think

of you Do as much as you can for

her Think about her more often and

pray for her Ask the Lord to inspire

you and prompt you regarding how

you can improve your relationship Irinka E 20 Odessa Ukraine

Seek to Understand Her

Try to understand her situation

because she works for your benefit

You can begin by helping with things

at home like cleaning the house

helping your siblings and cooking

You also can share scriptures with

your mom pray together and doactivities that you like to do together

Morony M 18 Chihuahua Mexico

Have a Special Sunday

On some Sundays we

have a special lunch

or dinner with a new

dessert we talk and at

the end we sing hymns This brings

us together and helps us be betterfriends

Rebeca N 12 Satildeo Paulo Brazil

Try an Experiment

We arrange time to be together hav-

ing family home evening playing

games going to the beach having

lunch together All of this helps to

Q U E S T I O N S amp A N S W E R S

all day Howcan I improve our

relationshiprdquo

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4752

keep the flame of a good relationship

alive When we disagree we avoid

criticizing I know that sometimes I

ask not to do housework but this

contributes to disharmony in the

home Since I began this experiment

mdashcomplaining less lowering my

voice helping more with housework

and talking more with my mothermdash

a sweet spirit has developed in our

home and we cooperate more

Glenda C 18 Bahia Brazil

Help at Home

Do some extra chores

around the house Your

mom has been work-

ing all day If she has

less work to do when she gets home

shersquoll probably be happier and have

more time to talk and do things with

you While you are talking you canask about her day at work It will

show her that you care and it will

open doors for other topics of discus-

sion allowing you to grow closer

Heather B 18 Oregon USA

Find Something You BothLike to Do

My mumrsquos relationship with me

skyrocketed when I said ldquoI want tospend more time with you but I donrsquot

know what to do or when to do itrdquo

Playing board games happens to be

our favorite pastime So we set aside

a time together to play laugh and

make memories When you are open

with your parents eventually they

become your best companions You

UPCOMING QUESTION

ldquoMy parents just

got divorced Irsquom angry that they

have broken up our

family How doI forgive themrdquo

Send your answer and photo by

September 15 2014

Go to neweraldsorg click ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo enter your LDS Accountand then select ldquoNew Erardquo

Responses may be edited for length

or clarity

Responses are intended for help and per-

spective not as official pronouncements ofChurch doctrine

will be able to talk to them about

anything and you will be sure of an

honest answer That is the sign of a

mature relationship

Ephraim S 15 New South Wales Australia

Read Scriptures Together

Both of you could set a goal to read

together every day even just five

minutes from the Book of Mormon

or any other Church book It will

strengthen your relationship andnourish you with the word of God

so you can be ready to face each day

Remember also to pray to God and

ask for His help I know He hears you

and loves you

Laura M 19 Coacuterdoba Argentina

LEARN FROM

YOUR MOTHER

ldquoPlease look to yourfaithful mothers fora pattern to followModel yourselves

after them not after celebritieswhose standards are not the Lordrsquosstandards and whose values maynot reflect an eternal perspectiveLook to your mother Learn fromher strengths her courage andher faithfulness Listen to her She

may not be a whiz at texting shemay not even have a Facebookpage But when it comes to mat-ters of the heart and the thingsof the Lord she has a wealth ofknowledgerdquo

Elder M Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles ldquoMothers and Daughtersrdquo

Ensign May 2010 19

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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46 N e w E r a

MISERABLE TOTHE END OFTHE STREET

For one family home evening my

dad wanted to take advantage

of a pause in the rainy weather

to go on a walk around the neighbor-

hood I grumbled and complained

that it was too wet and muddy to

go walking I used the excuse that

I had a ballet recital that week and

didnrsquot want to sprain an ankle but

my dad didnrsquot buy it He insisted thatit was going to be the activity for the

evening I murmured a bit more about

the unfairness and my recital but we

left on the walk anyway

As I glumly stomped outside for

the walk with my family I was deter-

mined not to smile or be happy I

succeeded in feeling miserable until

I N S T A N T M E S S A G E S

we reached the end of the street Then

we turned the corner and I saw in full

force naturersquos beauty and wonder

Before me was a gorgeous sunset

and opposite it was a rainbow arching

above our neighborhood rooftops

I immediately forgot all about being

miserable and looked around in awe

On the way home I said a prayer of

gratitude thanking God for the beautyof His creations I later thanked my

dad for choosing the activity and for

allowing us to enjoy nature for that

family home evening

Jennie H North Carolina USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4952

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 47

STANDARDS AND FRIENDS

Since Irsquove been in school Irsquove had friends who havenrsquot understood the

moral standards of our religion At first it was difficult but over time

my friends have become used to the idea of my being morally clean I

made a goal in my life to be clean and pure and itrsquos worked out well both

for me and for those who used to criticize me Over time respect peace and

joy have become a part of our loving circle of friends

Vitoacuteria M Brazil

A DIFFICULT DECISION

FORGIVINGMY FRIENDS

As the only member of the

Church in my peer group

Irsquove experienced some

instances when my friends have

offended me Sometimes they judge

and criticize my religion I feel so

alone yet Irsquom thankful I know the

standards of the Church

If my friends offend me I try to

humble myself and avoid contention

because I know contention is evil When they start discussing some mat-

ters about the Church I just testify of

my belief in the gospel

I always forgive my friends with or

without their apology Forgiving is not

just about saying ldquoApology acceptedrdquo

or ldquoItrsquos OKrdquo because forgiveness has

a deep meaning Jesus Christ atoned

for our sins so that Heavenly Father

can forgive usEven though my friends donrsquot

understand my faith now I know that

I can be Godrsquos instrument to teach

them the gospel I am helping them

and at the same time I am helping

myself to grow spiritually and prepare

to serve a mission

Joshua V Philippines

As volleyball tryouts approached for my senior year in high

school I couldnrsquot believe the thought that was running through

my head I wasnrsquot supposed to play volleyball Irsquod played vol-

leyball since seventh grademdashwhy should this year be any different

Not seeing the sense in quitting I ignored the feeling and continued

to participate in summer volleyball events After a while the feeling

came back so I decided that if I really wasnrsquot supposed to be on the

team my coach would just cut me during tryouts

Then one night at the gym I couldnrsquot focus on the game at all I felt

terrible and restless inside I came home frustrated with my team and

with myself I sat next to my mom and sister and cried I told them

how confused I was and my mom told me to pray and ask Heavenly

Father what He wanted me to do I went up to my room and began to

pray I told Heavenly Father how I felt then I asked Him to help mefeel peace if I was not supposed to continue playing volleyball I felt

His peace in my heart and knew that I needed to quit

Irsquom still not sure all the reasons why that was the right

decision but I know that itrsquos what the Lord

wanted me to do and thatrsquos a good

enough reason for me

The next morning I told my

coach and my teammates that

I wasnrsquot going to be playing

Even though it was incrediblyhard I knew I was doing

the right thing

Klaire B Arizona USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5152

you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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32 N e w E r a

S U N DA Y L E S S

O N S

This Monthrsquos Topic

Ma r r iage a nd

Fa m i l y

MARRIAGE IS WORTH ITldquoIt is so rewarding to bemarried Marriage is wonder-ful In time you begin to thinkalike and have the same ideasand impressions You havetimes when you are extremelyhappy times of testing andtimes of trial but the Lordguides you through all ofthose growth experiencestogetherrdquo

Elder Richard G Scott of the

Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo

Ensign May 2011 96

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 33

We love being marr ied and he

rersquos why

By Ben and Rachel Nielsen

Letrsquos face it girls (and boys) itrsquos nice to know that someone loves you

And when yoursquore married you have chances to share and receive love every

day When I was talking to my parents about the possibility of marrying

Ben my dad said ldquoWhomever you choose to marry I want him to fre-

quently and sincerely express his love for you like Elder Richard G Scott did

for his wiferdquo3 I listened to Dad

I decided to marry Ben and he has always made an effort to express

his love to me in small and big ways During my senior year of college I

worked for months to prepare apply and interview for a prestigious intern-ship And when I finally heard that I got the job I came home and saw a

vase full of flowers from my husband He knew how hard I had worked and

how much the internship meant to me At other times hersquoll hide my favorite

drink and a love note in the fridge before he heads out for a weekend Scout

camp And every day hersquoll do the dishes and make me laugh Ben is great at

expressing his love for me and that brings both of us great joy

During my mission in Brazil I grew to love soccer One thing that I lovemost about this sport is having teammates and learning how to work together

with my team Rachel is a fantastic teammate She helps me achieve my

goals joins me in making important decisions and is there for me when I

have trouble

When we were sealed in the temple we promised to ldquohelp one another as

equal partnersrdquo2 Rachel and I strive to support each other in everything we

do and itrsquos great to know that I always have a reliable teammate

After our first date we both

knew we wanted to go

on a second date Ben

wanted to go on

another date because Rachel was

friendly and fun to talk to Rachel

wanted to go on another date

because Ben was a gentleman

and was still smiling after all of

his well-laid plans fell through

After the second date plus manymore dates and prayers after

that we fell in love and decided

to get married in the Sacramento

California Temple

The wedding day was abso-

lutely perfect and we have loved

being married ever since The

world may see marriage differ-

ently but we know that ldquono other

relationship of any kind canbring as much joy generate as

much good or produce as much

personal refinementrdquo1 Marriage

is awesome and herersquos why

FROM BEN A T e a m m a t e

FROM RACHEL

E x p r e s s i o n s o f L o v e

WHY MARRIAGE IS

A w e s o m e

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34 N e w E r a

JOIN THE CONVERSATION

Things to Ponder for Sunday

bull What qualities and attitudes make for the strongest

and happiest marriages and families

bull What are you doing now that will help your future

marriage and family stay strong and happy

Things You Might Do

bull Share with some friends your goal of marrying and

having a family and tell them why

bull In church share why you are looking forward

to marriage and family and how you are pre-

paring for them

serving in the Church and inviting others to come unto

Christ As we work together to build the kingdom of God

we grow closer our love deepens and life is more fulfilling

Dating Rachel is so much fun In fact we make surethat we still frequently go on dates even as a married

couple After we first met we found that we enjoy many

of the same activities walking through parks attending

plays watching sporting events eating new and different

food listening to music and so much more I loved doing

these things before I met Rachel but theyrsquore even more

fun now that we get to share them together When yoursquore

married you have someone to enjoy life withmdashand that

makes life awesome

Before I met Ben I was nearing the age of missionary

service and had seriously considered serving a full-time

mission But then Ben entered my life and I knew that

Heavenly Father had a different plan for me

When Ben and I got engaged relatives who knew

about my thoughts to serve a mission asked me about my

choice and I would tell them ldquoI decided that I wanted topick my own missionary companionmdashand stay with him

for eternityrdquo

When yoursquore married you and your spouse have the

chance to participate in the work of salvation together

Ben and I have found great joy in building a Christ-

centered home studying and living the gospel together

Despite what the world may say marriage is awesome

and is worth making a priority When yoursquore married you

have a teammate you give and receive love you enjoy life

more fully and you have someone to build the kingdom

of God with All of that brings us great joy and because

we were sealed in the temple we can have this joy forever

If we keep our covenants we will be together for eternityand receive the crowning blessings of the priesthood We

ldquohave found in marriage the richest fulfillment of human

existencerdquo 4 NE

Ben and Rachel Nielsen live in Utah USA

NOTES

1 L Whitney Clayton ldquoMarriage Watch and Learnrdquo Ensign May 2013 83 2 ldquoThe Family A Proclamation to the Worldrdquo Ensign Nov 2010 129 3 See Richard G Scott ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo Ensign May

2011 96 4 James E Faust ldquoEnriching Your Marriagerdquo Ensign Apr 2007 6

FROM BEN M o r e E n jo y m e n t

FROM RACHEL A n E t e r n a l M is s i o n a r y C o m p a n io n

TAKE IT FROM US

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Your family can help unite the family of GodYou can all share the gospel in natural and pleasant ways

P H O T O I L L U S T R A T I O N B Y D A V I D S T O K E R

M O R M O N A D

(See M Russell Ballard ldquoPut Your Trust in the Lordrdquo Ensign Nov 2013 43)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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36 N e w E r a

By Alex Larsen

I always knew I wanted to be a mother but when I was grow-

ing up it wasnrsquot always on my mind When my fianceacute and I

were engaged one day I was talking with one of my college

professorsmdasha woman I greatly admiredmdashabout my engage-

ment She said something that brought my life choices into sharp

focus ldquoYou are wasting your talentrdquo she told me as she shook

her head She went on to say that someone as smart as I was

should not get married young She assumed I would have chil-

dren in my future and would be ldquothrowing awayrdquo my education

and chances of a stellar career on my future motherhood I could

tell by the way she looked at me that she thought I was making

a terrible and naiumlve mistake

Itrsquos been several years since that conversation and my hus-

band and I have two little girls Kate is three years old and is

my little sweetheart She moves through life at a leisurely pace

savoring all of the little details she notices Annabel is one yearold with bright blue eyes and a head of curls Shersquos exuberant

and determined Though I didnrsquot change my mind because of

what my professor said our discussion has stayed with me In

one way my professorrsquos predictions were correct I do not have

a prestigious working career But my professor got the most

important point wrong because I have wasted nothing

g i v i n

g u p e v e r y

t hi n g

but wh a t

I

g a i n ed

w as w o r t h so much m o r e

T h e wor l d t o l d me

I w ould

b e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 37

their spirits growing and developing I remember

the first time Kate pointed to a picture of the Savior and

said ldquoJesusrdquo I knew then that what I was doing was eter-

nally significant in the lives of my children

The world often tells us that lifersquos rewards come in

the form of status money or grand accomplishments

but I know therersquos great satisfaction even in the small

acts of changing diapers or wiping sticky fingers Every

little thing I do as a mother is part of helping to build the

kingdom of God by nurturing His children I always knew

I wanted children but it was not until I held my first baby

in my arms that I began to realize how much my heart

was capable of loving

The love I have for my daughters has helped me bet-

ter understand how much my Heavenly Father loves all

of His children When speaking of little children Jesustaught that ldquoof such is the kingdom of heavenrdquo (Matthew

1914) More than anything motherhood has helped me

to grow as a daughter of God because now I know what

a daughter of God looks like from the eyes of a parent

The world makes us think that a woman loses herself in

motherhoodmdashshe loses her body her free time and her

career But I have found myself in motherhood I feel

more beautiful and more valuable than ever before NE

Alex Larsen lives in California USA

I love the opportunity to stay home and care for my

young children because these are the most formative

years of their lives I have the opportunity to create a rich

home environment for my girls by reading and discussing

things with them as part of our everyday life Kate will

often astound me by remembering and commenting on

something wersquod read in a book several weeks before and

Annabel learns a new skill almost every day But as fun

and important as it is to watch them learn new

information and skills I feel the

most satisfied when I see

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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38 N e w E r a

One o f t h e g r e a t e s t ad v enture s o f y o u r l i f e w i l l b e y our rol e a n d c a l l i n g a s a f a t her

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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ROcksROcksROcks

NOTE

1 See Thomas S Monson ldquoWelcome to Conferencerdquo Ensign Nov 2012 4ndash5

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 39

DA D D A DD AD

By Chris Deaver

W

hen I was younger I loved spending time

with my dad He always knew the bestgames to play the best stories to tell at night

and the most interesting sports to try It was

like he was born to be a great dad

Fast-forward my life to when I married my sweetheart

Julia and then even further to the moment that our first

child Daniel was born I was filled with a rush of emo-

tions I was happy shocked amazed and a little scared

I felt totally inadequate to be a father and to have the

responsibility of teaching and being an example to my son

But I quickly realized that Irsquod been preparing all my life tobe a dad When I held my son in my arms for the first time

and looked down into his face I felt the Spirit touch my

heart and I realized that I was ready to try to be a great

dad just like my own dad was to me

When Daniel was very young he already had a great

sense of humor He learned to tell hilarious jokes that

would make my wife and me laugh He also often said

things that inspired us Shortly after hearing President

Thomas S Monson announce the change in age require-

ments for young men and young women preparingto serve missions1 we were driving in the car Daniel

announced that he would start preparing himself right

then at age six so he would have 12 years of preparation

Then he said with a smile ldquoDad can I change the song

from lsquoI Hope They Call Me on a Missionrsquo to lsquoI AM Going on

a Missionrsquordquo It was awesome

WHYbeing a

Three years after Daniel was born he was followed by his

brother Austin For me as a dad itrsquos been great to watch bothboys become best friends And Austin has been just as fun

as Daniel in his own way He enjoys building and destroying

block towers and one of his favorite activities is to fearlessly

wrestle me as if I stand no chance against his four-year-old

powers Of course I give in and let him winmdashso I guess I

reinforce his belief But itrsquos so much fun I know hersquoll be a

great wrestler but what I want most is for him to wrestle

ldquoagainst the rulers of the darkness of this worldrdquo and ldquoagainst

spiritual wickednessrdquo like it says in the scriptures (Ephesians

612) And I hope Irsquom helping to prepare him to do that We just recently had our third child a baby girl named

Faith During the delivery my wife was having some com-

plications and we were scared for our baby I gave Julia

a blessing Then she asked me to sing to her The Spirit

brought peace to both of us Soon baby Faith came safely

into the world It was a miracle and she definitely lived up

to her name Faithrsquos beautiful smile brightens my life I canrsquot

express in words how much she means to me

For any young man still wondering let me tell you You

were born to be a great dad The world may not agree butfatherhood is the best Someday yoursquoll find that your kids

inspire you too and that being a dad is the greatest adven-

ture of your life Yes itrsquos a duty and something you need to

take seriously but being a dad is unlike anything else NE

Chris Deaver lives in Florida USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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40 N e w E r a

We always seem to be encouraged to read more

because well everyone knows that reading is a

good thing But not all books are worth reading and just

because sexual material is written about rather than pho-

tographed or video recorded doesnrsquot mean that itrsquos less

morally hazardous Making a common display of a sacred

intimacy thatrsquos intended to only be part of a marriage rela-

tionship is wrongmdashwhether in words or imagesIf something yoursquore reading contains explicit sexual

descriptions that imprint themselves on your mind and

arouse sexual feelings in the same way that looking at

pornographic images would then guess what Itrsquos pornog-

raphy Remember the counsel in For the Strength of Youth

ldquoChoose wisely when using media because whatever you

read listen to or look at has an effect on you Select only

media that uplifts yourdquo ([2011] 11) NE

T O T H E P O I N T

President Boyd K

Packer President of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoEach

of us must come to ourown personal testimony

of the Lord Jesus Christ

We then share that testi-

mony with our family and

othersrdquo1 It can sometimes

be easy to question the

depth of your testimony

I know looking at pornographic

pictures is wrong but whatabout reading books with

ldquoromanticrdquo scenes

If I donrsquot have a burning

desire to share thegospel does that mean I

donrsquot have a testimony

when you compare your-

self to people like Brigham

Young who once said ldquoI

wanted to thunder and

roar out the gospel to thenations It burned in my

bones like fire pent uprdquo2

So what if you donrsquot feel

fire in your bones

Hopefully your lack of

desire doesnrsquot come from

a lack of concern for your

fellowmen As your faith in

Jesus Christ grows so does

your love of all people a

love that is a mark of the

true followers of Christ (see

Moroni 748 John 1335)

Itrsquos likely however

that your hesitancy sim-

ply comes from fear and

anxiety about speaking toothers For many people

such feelings can be over-

whelming Even prophets

have had doubts about their

ability to speak to people

(see Exodus 410 Moses

631) They of course

had no reason to question

their testimoniesmdashand

neither should you if you

are studying the scriptures

pondering praying fasting

repenting and doing all the

other things that help bring

the Spirit into your life

If you feel you just

need a little extra cour-age to share the gos-

pel visit ldsorggo

shareNE8 for ideas NE

NOTES

1 Boyd K Packer ldquoThe Witnessrdquo Ensign May 2014 96

2 Teachings of Presidents ofthe Church Brigham Young (1997) viii

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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C O M E F O L L O W M E

Family

983152983137tter983150 of

President Boyd K PackerPresident of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

April 2014 general conference

The ultimate end

of all activity in

the Church is that

a man and his wife

and their childrencan be happy

at home

The FamilyYoursquoll be studying about the family in your Sunday classes

this month As you study and discuss family you may pon-der these questions Why do Church leaders emphasize

family so much What is the place of family in Heavenly

Fatherrsquos plan How does family help make us happy

To find some answers to these questions see the

family proclamation near the back of your Personal

Progress or Duty to God booklet or online at ldsorg

gofamilyNE8 Yoursquoll also find teachings about

family relationships in general conference talks at

conferenceldsorg

Give yourself an easy reminder to prepare for your

Sunday lessons on the family Just place these cards

in your scriptures locker or bedroom You can also

download or share them online at ldsorggocardsNE8 B A C K G R O U N D T E X T U R E

B Y I S T O C K P H O T O T H I N K S T O C K

We 983150eed We 983150eed

MOR E

983155tre983150983143the983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

RELATIONSHIPS

983153u983137lity 983153u983137lity TIME amp EFFORT INTO

TO PUT

983155re983150983143te983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4452

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4552

T H E E X T R A S M I L E

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 43

I dont like to pack so I rsquo m just wearing all my stuff

JON CLARK

W h a t m a k e s y o

u t h i n k

D a d rsquo s t a l k i n g t o

t h e

p r o p h e t

B ecaus e h e s ai d h e w as on a conf er ence cal l

RYAN STOKER

F r o m n o w o n j u s t t a k e

a p i c t u r e o f t h e t o o t h a n

d

u p l o a d i t t o m y F a c e b o o k

p a g e

a n d t h e n I rsquo l l s e n d y o u t h e

m o n e y t h r o u g h P a y P a l

RANDY GLASBERGEN

[Gasp] He he made h is bed this morning

And I didnrsquo t even ask

VAL CHADWICK BAGLEY

Who says there arenrsquo t modern m iracles

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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44 N e w E r a

ldquoMymom works

Since you donrsquot see your mom often make sure that

the time you do have together is used well You

could talk to your mom about how to do this She

wants a good relationship with you too and will

help you work on it Try asking her what she would

appreciate coming home to a clean house doing an activity

together just talking with you As you regularly do activities your mom appreciates your relationship will improve

Of course you could plan some fun activities to do together

but any meaningful time togethermdashsuch as washing the dishes

or reading the scripturesmdashcan be a great way to build your

relationship

Also plan time for communication Understanding one

another is a key ingredient in good relationships One thing

to discuss is how your momrsquos work schedule will affect your

relationship with her You can avoid misunderstandings if you

talk about your expectations as well as your momrsquosPrayer will help Families are important to Heavenly Father

so He can inspire you to know how to improve your relation-

ship with your mom Donrsquot ignore a prompting to do something

that seems small (see Alma 376) A hug and a smile for exam-

ple can make a big difference NE

Write a Note

Even if you have very

little time together you

can still express your

love to your mother

Write her thoughtful secret notes As

she reads them at work she will think

of you Do as much as you can for

her Think about her more often and

pray for her Ask the Lord to inspire

you and prompt you regarding how

you can improve your relationship Irinka E 20 Odessa Ukraine

Seek to Understand Her

Try to understand her situation

because she works for your benefit

You can begin by helping with things

at home like cleaning the house

helping your siblings and cooking

You also can share scriptures with

your mom pray together and doactivities that you like to do together

Morony M 18 Chihuahua Mexico

Have a Special Sunday

On some Sundays we

have a special lunch

or dinner with a new

dessert we talk and at

the end we sing hymns This brings

us together and helps us be betterfriends

Rebeca N 12 Satildeo Paulo Brazil

Try an Experiment

We arrange time to be together hav-

ing family home evening playing

games going to the beach having

lunch together All of this helps to

Q U E S T I O N S amp A N S W E R S

all day Howcan I improve our

relationshiprdquo

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4752

keep the flame of a good relationship

alive When we disagree we avoid

criticizing I know that sometimes I

ask not to do housework but this

contributes to disharmony in the

home Since I began this experiment

mdashcomplaining less lowering my

voice helping more with housework

and talking more with my mothermdash

a sweet spirit has developed in our

home and we cooperate more

Glenda C 18 Bahia Brazil

Help at Home

Do some extra chores

around the house Your

mom has been work-

ing all day If she has

less work to do when she gets home

shersquoll probably be happier and have

more time to talk and do things with

you While you are talking you canask about her day at work It will

show her that you care and it will

open doors for other topics of discus-

sion allowing you to grow closer

Heather B 18 Oregon USA

Find Something You BothLike to Do

My mumrsquos relationship with me

skyrocketed when I said ldquoI want tospend more time with you but I donrsquot

know what to do or when to do itrdquo

Playing board games happens to be

our favorite pastime So we set aside

a time together to play laugh and

make memories When you are open

with your parents eventually they

become your best companions You

UPCOMING QUESTION

ldquoMy parents just

got divorced Irsquom angry that they

have broken up our

family How doI forgive themrdquo

Send your answer and photo by

September 15 2014

Go to neweraldsorg click ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo enter your LDS Accountand then select ldquoNew Erardquo

Responses may be edited for length

or clarity

Responses are intended for help and per-

spective not as official pronouncements ofChurch doctrine

will be able to talk to them about

anything and you will be sure of an

honest answer That is the sign of a

mature relationship

Ephraim S 15 New South Wales Australia

Read Scriptures Together

Both of you could set a goal to read

together every day even just five

minutes from the Book of Mormon

or any other Church book It will

strengthen your relationship andnourish you with the word of God

so you can be ready to face each day

Remember also to pray to God and

ask for His help I know He hears you

and loves you

Laura M 19 Coacuterdoba Argentina

LEARN FROM

YOUR MOTHER

ldquoPlease look to yourfaithful mothers fora pattern to followModel yourselves

after them not after celebritieswhose standards are not the Lordrsquosstandards and whose values maynot reflect an eternal perspectiveLook to your mother Learn fromher strengths her courage andher faithfulness Listen to her She

may not be a whiz at texting shemay not even have a Facebookpage But when it comes to mat-ters of the heart and the thingsof the Lord she has a wealth ofknowledgerdquo

Elder M Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles ldquoMothers and Daughtersrdquo

Ensign May 2010 19

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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46 N e w E r a

MISERABLE TOTHE END OFTHE STREET

For one family home evening my

dad wanted to take advantage

of a pause in the rainy weather

to go on a walk around the neighbor-

hood I grumbled and complained

that it was too wet and muddy to

go walking I used the excuse that

I had a ballet recital that week and

didnrsquot want to sprain an ankle but

my dad didnrsquot buy it He insisted thatit was going to be the activity for the

evening I murmured a bit more about

the unfairness and my recital but we

left on the walk anyway

As I glumly stomped outside for

the walk with my family I was deter-

mined not to smile or be happy I

succeeded in feeling miserable until

I N S T A N T M E S S A G E S

we reached the end of the street Then

we turned the corner and I saw in full

force naturersquos beauty and wonder

Before me was a gorgeous sunset

and opposite it was a rainbow arching

above our neighborhood rooftops

I immediately forgot all about being

miserable and looked around in awe

On the way home I said a prayer of

gratitude thanking God for the beautyof His creations I later thanked my

dad for choosing the activity and for

allowing us to enjoy nature for that

family home evening

Jennie H North Carolina USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 47

STANDARDS AND FRIENDS

Since Irsquove been in school Irsquove had friends who havenrsquot understood the

moral standards of our religion At first it was difficult but over time

my friends have become used to the idea of my being morally clean I

made a goal in my life to be clean and pure and itrsquos worked out well both

for me and for those who used to criticize me Over time respect peace and

joy have become a part of our loving circle of friends

Vitoacuteria M Brazil

A DIFFICULT DECISION

FORGIVINGMY FRIENDS

As the only member of the

Church in my peer group

Irsquove experienced some

instances when my friends have

offended me Sometimes they judge

and criticize my religion I feel so

alone yet Irsquom thankful I know the

standards of the Church

If my friends offend me I try to

humble myself and avoid contention

because I know contention is evil When they start discussing some mat-

ters about the Church I just testify of

my belief in the gospel

I always forgive my friends with or

without their apology Forgiving is not

just about saying ldquoApology acceptedrdquo

or ldquoItrsquos OKrdquo because forgiveness has

a deep meaning Jesus Christ atoned

for our sins so that Heavenly Father

can forgive usEven though my friends donrsquot

understand my faith now I know that

I can be Godrsquos instrument to teach

them the gospel I am helping them

and at the same time I am helping

myself to grow spiritually and prepare

to serve a mission

Joshua V Philippines

As volleyball tryouts approached for my senior year in high

school I couldnrsquot believe the thought that was running through

my head I wasnrsquot supposed to play volleyball Irsquod played vol-

leyball since seventh grademdashwhy should this year be any different

Not seeing the sense in quitting I ignored the feeling and continued

to participate in summer volleyball events After a while the feeling

came back so I decided that if I really wasnrsquot supposed to be on the

team my coach would just cut me during tryouts

Then one night at the gym I couldnrsquot focus on the game at all I felt

terrible and restless inside I came home frustrated with my team and

with myself I sat next to my mom and sister and cried I told them

how confused I was and my mom told me to pray and ask Heavenly

Father what He wanted me to do I went up to my room and began to

pray I told Heavenly Father how I felt then I asked Him to help mefeel peace if I was not supposed to continue playing volleyball I felt

His peace in my heart and knew that I needed to quit

Irsquom still not sure all the reasons why that was the right

decision but I know that itrsquos what the Lord

wanted me to do and thatrsquos a good

enough reason for me

The next morning I told my

coach and my teammates that

I wasnrsquot going to be playing

Even though it was incrediblyhard I knew I was doing

the right thing

Klaire B Arizona USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5152

you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5252

WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 33

We love being marr ied and he

rersquos why

By Ben and Rachel Nielsen

Letrsquos face it girls (and boys) itrsquos nice to know that someone loves you

And when yoursquore married you have chances to share and receive love every

day When I was talking to my parents about the possibility of marrying

Ben my dad said ldquoWhomever you choose to marry I want him to fre-

quently and sincerely express his love for you like Elder Richard G Scott did

for his wiferdquo3 I listened to Dad

I decided to marry Ben and he has always made an effort to express

his love to me in small and big ways During my senior year of college I

worked for months to prepare apply and interview for a prestigious intern-ship And when I finally heard that I got the job I came home and saw a

vase full of flowers from my husband He knew how hard I had worked and

how much the internship meant to me At other times hersquoll hide my favorite

drink and a love note in the fridge before he heads out for a weekend Scout

camp And every day hersquoll do the dishes and make me laugh Ben is great at

expressing his love for me and that brings both of us great joy

During my mission in Brazil I grew to love soccer One thing that I lovemost about this sport is having teammates and learning how to work together

with my team Rachel is a fantastic teammate She helps me achieve my

goals joins me in making important decisions and is there for me when I

have trouble

When we were sealed in the temple we promised to ldquohelp one another as

equal partnersrdquo2 Rachel and I strive to support each other in everything we

do and itrsquos great to know that I always have a reliable teammate

After our first date we both

knew we wanted to go

on a second date Ben

wanted to go on

another date because Rachel was

friendly and fun to talk to Rachel

wanted to go on another date

because Ben was a gentleman

and was still smiling after all of

his well-laid plans fell through

After the second date plus manymore dates and prayers after

that we fell in love and decided

to get married in the Sacramento

California Temple

The wedding day was abso-

lutely perfect and we have loved

being married ever since The

world may see marriage differ-

ently but we know that ldquono other

relationship of any kind canbring as much joy generate as

much good or produce as much

personal refinementrdquo1 Marriage

is awesome and herersquos why

FROM BEN A T e a m m a t e

FROM RACHEL

E x p r e s s i o n s o f L o v e

WHY MARRIAGE IS

A w e s o m e

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34 N e w E r a

JOIN THE CONVERSATION

Things to Ponder for Sunday

bull What qualities and attitudes make for the strongest

and happiest marriages and families

bull What are you doing now that will help your future

marriage and family stay strong and happy

Things You Might Do

bull Share with some friends your goal of marrying and

having a family and tell them why

bull In church share why you are looking forward

to marriage and family and how you are pre-

paring for them

serving in the Church and inviting others to come unto

Christ As we work together to build the kingdom of God

we grow closer our love deepens and life is more fulfilling

Dating Rachel is so much fun In fact we make surethat we still frequently go on dates even as a married

couple After we first met we found that we enjoy many

of the same activities walking through parks attending

plays watching sporting events eating new and different

food listening to music and so much more I loved doing

these things before I met Rachel but theyrsquore even more

fun now that we get to share them together When yoursquore

married you have someone to enjoy life withmdashand that

makes life awesome

Before I met Ben I was nearing the age of missionary

service and had seriously considered serving a full-time

mission But then Ben entered my life and I knew that

Heavenly Father had a different plan for me

When Ben and I got engaged relatives who knew

about my thoughts to serve a mission asked me about my

choice and I would tell them ldquoI decided that I wanted topick my own missionary companionmdashand stay with him

for eternityrdquo

When yoursquore married you and your spouse have the

chance to participate in the work of salvation together

Ben and I have found great joy in building a Christ-

centered home studying and living the gospel together

Despite what the world may say marriage is awesome

and is worth making a priority When yoursquore married you

have a teammate you give and receive love you enjoy life

more fully and you have someone to build the kingdom

of God with All of that brings us great joy and because

we were sealed in the temple we can have this joy forever

If we keep our covenants we will be together for eternityand receive the crowning blessings of the priesthood We

ldquohave found in marriage the richest fulfillment of human

existencerdquo 4 NE

Ben and Rachel Nielsen live in Utah USA

NOTES

1 L Whitney Clayton ldquoMarriage Watch and Learnrdquo Ensign May 2013 83 2 ldquoThe Family A Proclamation to the Worldrdquo Ensign Nov 2010 129 3 See Richard G Scott ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo Ensign May

2011 96 4 James E Faust ldquoEnriching Your Marriagerdquo Ensign Apr 2007 6

FROM BEN M o r e E n jo y m e n t

FROM RACHEL A n E t e r n a l M is s i o n a r y C o m p a n io n

TAKE IT FROM US

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Your family can help unite the family of GodYou can all share the gospel in natural and pleasant ways

P H O T O I L L U S T R A T I O N B Y D A V I D S T O K E R

M O R M O N A D

(See M Russell Ballard ldquoPut Your Trust in the Lordrdquo Ensign Nov 2013 43)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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36 N e w E r a

By Alex Larsen

I always knew I wanted to be a mother but when I was grow-

ing up it wasnrsquot always on my mind When my fianceacute and I

were engaged one day I was talking with one of my college

professorsmdasha woman I greatly admiredmdashabout my engage-

ment She said something that brought my life choices into sharp

focus ldquoYou are wasting your talentrdquo she told me as she shook

her head She went on to say that someone as smart as I was

should not get married young She assumed I would have chil-

dren in my future and would be ldquothrowing awayrdquo my education

and chances of a stellar career on my future motherhood I could

tell by the way she looked at me that she thought I was making

a terrible and naiumlve mistake

Itrsquos been several years since that conversation and my hus-

band and I have two little girls Kate is three years old and is

my little sweetheart She moves through life at a leisurely pace

savoring all of the little details she notices Annabel is one yearold with bright blue eyes and a head of curls Shersquos exuberant

and determined Though I didnrsquot change my mind because of

what my professor said our discussion has stayed with me In

one way my professorrsquos predictions were correct I do not have

a prestigious working career But my professor got the most

important point wrong because I have wasted nothing

g i v i n

g u p e v e r y

t hi n g

but wh a t

I

g a i n ed

w as w o r t h so much m o r e

T h e wor l d t o l d me

I w ould

b e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 37

their spirits growing and developing I remember

the first time Kate pointed to a picture of the Savior and

said ldquoJesusrdquo I knew then that what I was doing was eter-

nally significant in the lives of my children

The world often tells us that lifersquos rewards come in

the form of status money or grand accomplishments

but I know therersquos great satisfaction even in the small

acts of changing diapers or wiping sticky fingers Every

little thing I do as a mother is part of helping to build the

kingdom of God by nurturing His children I always knew

I wanted children but it was not until I held my first baby

in my arms that I began to realize how much my heart

was capable of loving

The love I have for my daughters has helped me bet-

ter understand how much my Heavenly Father loves all

of His children When speaking of little children Jesustaught that ldquoof such is the kingdom of heavenrdquo (Matthew

1914) More than anything motherhood has helped me

to grow as a daughter of God because now I know what

a daughter of God looks like from the eyes of a parent

The world makes us think that a woman loses herself in

motherhoodmdashshe loses her body her free time and her

career But I have found myself in motherhood I feel

more beautiful and more valuable than ever before NE

Alex Larsen lives in California USA

I love the opportunity to stay home and care for my

young children because these are the most formative

years of their lives I have the opportunity to create a rich

home environment for my girls by reading and discussing

things with them as part of our everyday life Kate will

often astound me by remembering and commenting on

something wersquod read in a book several weeks before and

Annabel learns a new skill almost every day But as fun

and important as it is to watch them learn new

information and skills I feel the

most satisfied when I see

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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38 N e w E r a

One o f t h e g r e a t e s t ad v enture s o f y o u r l i f e w i l l b e y our rol e a n d c a l l i n g a s a f a t her

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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ROcksROcksROcks

NOTE

1 See Thomas S Monson ldquoWelcome to Conferencerdquo Ensign Nov 2012 4ndash5

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 39

DA D D A DD AD

By Chris Deaver

W

hen I was younger I loved spending time

with my dad He always knew the bestgames to play the best stories to tell at night

and the most interesting sports to try It was

like he was born to be a great dad

Fast-forward my life to when I married my sweetheart

Julia and then even further to the moment that our first

child Daniel was born I was filled with a rush of emo-

tions I was happy shocked amazed and a little scared

I felt totally inadequate to be a father and to have the

responsibility of teaching and being an example to my son

But I quickly realized that Irsquod been preparing all my life tobe a dad When I held my son in my arms for the first time

and looked down into his face I felt the Spirit touch my

heart and I realized that I was ready to try to be a great

dad just like my own dad was to me

When Daniel was very young he already had a great

sense of humor He learned to tell hilarious jokes that

would make my wife and me laugh He also often said

things that inspired us Shortly after hearing President

Thomas S Monson announce the change in age require-

ments for young men and young women preparingto serve missions1 we were driving in the car Daniel

announced that he would start preparing himself right

then at age six so he would have 12 years of preparation

Then he said with a smile ldquoDad can I change the song

from lsquoI Hope They Call Me on a Missionrsquo to lsquoI AM Going on

a Missionrsquordquo It was awesome

WHYbeing a

Three years after Daniel was born he was followed by his

brother Austin For me as a dad itrsquos been great to watch bothboys become best friends And Austin has been just as fun

as Daniel in his own way He enjoys building and destroying

block towers and one of his favorite activities is to fearlessly

wrestle me as if I stand no chance against his four-year-old

powers Of course I give in and let him winmdashso I guess I

reinforce his belief But itrsquos so much fun I know hersquoll be a

great wrestler but what I want most is for him to wrestle

ldquoagainst the rulers of the darkness of this worldrdquo and ldquoagainst

spiritual wickednessrdquo like it says in the scriptures (Ephesians

612) And I hope Irsquom helping to prepare him to do that We just recently had our third child a baby girl named

Faith During the delivery my wife was having some com-

plications and we were scared for our baby I gave Julia

a blessing Then she asked me to sing to her The Spirit

brought peace to both of us Soon baby Faith came safely

into the world It was a miracle and she definitely lived up

to her name Faithrsquos beautiful smile brightens my life I canrsquot

express in words how much she means to me

For any young man still wondering let me tell you You

were born to be a great dad The world may not agree butfatherhood is the best Someday yoursquoll find that your kids

inspire you too and that being a dad is the greatest adven-

ture of your life Yes itrsquos a duty and something you need to

take seriously but being a dad is unlike anything else NE

Chris Deaver lives in Florida USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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40 N e w E r a

We always seem to be encouraged to read more

because well everyone knows that reading is a

good thing But not all books are worth reading and just

because sexual material is written about rather than pho-

tographed or video recorded doesnrsquot mean that itrsquos less

morally hazardous Making a common display of a sacred

intimacy thatrsquos intended to only be part of a marriage rela-

tionship is wrongmdashwhether in words or imagesIf something yoursquore reading contains explicit sexual

descriptions that imprint themselves on your mind and

arouse sexual feelings in the same way that looking at

pornographic images would then guess what Itrsquos pornog-

raphy Remember the counsel in For the Strength of Youth

ldquoChoose wisely when using media because whatever you

read listen to or look at has an effect on you Select only

media that uplifts yourdquo ([2011] 11) NE

T O T H E P O I N T

President Boyd K

Packer President of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoEach

of us must come to ourown personal testimony

of the Lord Jesus Christ

We then share that testi-

mony with our family and

othersrdquo1 It can sometimes

be easy to question the

depth of your testimony

I know looking at pornographic

pictures is wrong but whatabout reading books with

ldquoromanticrdquo scenes

If I donrsquot have a burning

desire to share thegospel does that mean I

donrsquot have a testimony

when you compare your-

self to people like Brigham

Young who once said ldquoI

wanted to thunder and

roar out the gospel to thenations It burned in my

bones like fire pent uprdquo2

So what if you donrsquot feel

fire in your bones

Hopefully your lack of

desire doesnrsquot come from

a lack of concern for your

fellowmen As your faith in

Jesus Christ grows so does

your love of all people a

love that is a mark of the

true followers of Christ (see

Moroni 748 John 1335)

Itrsquos likely however

that your hesitancy sim-

ply comes from fear and

anxiety about speaking toothers For many people

such feelings can be over-

whelming Even prophets

have had doubts about their

ability to speak to people

(see Exodus 410 Moses

631) They of course

had no reason to question

their testimoniesmdashand

neither should you if you

are studying the scriptures

pondering praying fasting

repenting and doing all the

other things that help bring

the Spirit into your life

If you feel you just

need a little extra cour-age to share the gos-

pel visit ldsorggo

shareNE8 for ideas NE

NOTES

1 Boyd K Packer ldquoThe Witnessrdquo Ensign May 2014 96

2 Teachings of Presidents ofthe Church Brigham Young (1997) viii

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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C O M E F O L L O W M E

Family

983152983137tter983150 of

President Boyd K PackerPresident of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

April 2014 general conference

The ultimate end

of all activity in

the Church is that

a man and his wife

and their childrencan be happy

at home

The FamilyYoursquoll be studying about the family in your Sunday classes

this month As you study and discuss family you may pon-der these questions Why do Church leaders emphasize

family so much What is the place of family in Heavenly

Fatherrsquos plan How does family help make us happy

To find some answers to these questions see the

family proclamation near the back of your Personal

Progress or Duty to God booklet or online at ldsorg

gofamilyNE8 Yoursquoll also find teachings about

family relationships in general conference talks at

conferenceldsorg

Give yourself an easy reminder to prepare for your

Sunday lessons on the family Just place these cards

in your scriptures locker or bedroom You can also

download or share them online at ldsorggocardsNE8 B A C K G R O U N D T E X T U R E

B Y I S T O C K P H O T O T H I N K S T O C K

We 983150eed We 983150eed

MOR E

983155tre983150983143the983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

RELATIONSHIPS

983153u983137lity 983153u983137lity TIME amp EFFORT INTO

TO PUT

983155re983150983143te983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4452

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4552

T H E E X T R A S M I L E

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 43

I dont like to pack so I rsquo m just wearing all my stuff

JON CLARK

W h a t m a k e s y o

u t h i n k

D a d rsquo s t a l k i n g t o

t h e

p r o p h e t

B ecaus e h e s ai d h e w as on a conf er ence cal l

RYAN STOKER

F r o m n o w o n j u s t t a k e

a p i c t u r e o f t h e t o o t h a n

d

u p l o a d i t t o m y F a c e b o o k

p a g e

a n d t h e n I rsquo l l s e n d y o u t h e

m o n e y t h r o u g h P a y P a l

RANDY GLASBERGEN

[Gasp] He he made h is bed this morning

And I didnrsquo t even ask

VAL CHADWICK BAGLEY

Who says there arenrsquo t modern m iracles

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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44 N e w E r a

ldquoMymom works

Since you donrsquot see your mom often make sure that

the time you do have together is used well You

could talk to your mom about how to do this She

wants a good relationship with you too and will

help you work on it Try asking her what she would

appreciate coming home to a clean house doing an activity

together just talking with you As you regularly do activities your mom appreciates your relationship will improve

Of course you could plan some fun activities to do together

but any meaningful time togethermdashsuch as washing the dishes

or reading the scripturesmdashcan be a great way to build your

relationship

Also plan time for communication Understanding one

another is a key ingredient in good relationships One thing

to discuss is how your momrsquos work schedule will affect your

relationship with her You can avoid misunderstandings if you

talk about your expectations as well as your momrsquosPrayer will help Families are important to Heavenly Father

so He can inspire you to know how to improve your relation-

ship with your mom Donrsquot ignore a prompting to do something

that seems small (see Alma 376) A hug and a smile for exam-

ple can make a big difference NE

Write a Note

Even if you have very

little time together you

can still express your

love to your mother

Write her thoughtful secret notes As

she reads them at work she will think

of you Do as much as you can for

her Think about her more often and

pray for her Ask the Lord to inspire

you and prompt you regarding how

you can improve your relationship Irinka E 20 Odessa Ukraine

Seek to Understand Her

Try to understand her situation

because she works for your benefit

You can begin by helping with things

at home like cleaning the house

helping your siblings and cooking

You also can share scriptures with

your mom pray together and doactivities that you like to do together

Morony M 18 Chihuahua Mexico

Have a Special Sunday

On some Sundays we

have a special lunch

or dinner with a new

dessert we talk and at

the end we sing hymns This brings

us together and helps us be betterfriends

Rebeca N 12 Satildeo Paulo Brazil

Try an Experiment

We arrange time to be together hav-

ing family home evening playing

games going to the beach having

lunch together All of this helps to

Q U E S T I O N S amp A N S W E R S

all day Howcan I improve our

relationshiprdquo

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4752

keep the flame of a good relationship

alive When we disagree we avoid

criticizing I know that sometimes I

ask not to do housework but this

contributes to disharmony in the

home Since I began this experiment

mdashcomplaining less lowering my

voice helping more with housework

and talking more with my mothermdash

a sweet spirit has developed in our

home and we cooperate more

Glenda C 18 Bahia Brazil

Help at Home

Do some extra chores

around the house Your

mom has been work-

ing all day If she has

less work to do when she gets home

shersquoll probably be happier and have

more time to talk and do things with

you While you are talking you canask about her day at work It will

show her that you care and it will

open doors for other topics of discus-

sion allowing you to grow closer

Heather B 18 Oregon USA

Find Something You BothLike to Do

My mumrsquos relationship with me

skyrocketed when I said ldquoI want tospend more time with you but I donrsquot

know what to do or when to do itrdquo

Playing board games happens to be

our favorite pastime So we set aside

a time together to play laugh and

make memories When you are open

with your parents eventually they

become your best companions You

UPCOMING QUESTION

ldquoMy parents just

got divorced Irsquom angry that they

have broken up our

family How doI forgive themrdquo

Send your answer and photo by

September 15 2014

Go to neweraldsorg click ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo enter your LDS Accountand then select ldquoNew Erardquo

Responses may be edited for length

or clarity

Responses are intended for help and per-

spective not as official pronouncements ofChurch doctrine

will be able to talk to them about

anything and you will be sure of an

honest answer That is the sign of a

mature relationship

Ephraim S 15 New South Wales Australia

Read Scriptures Together

Both of you could set a goal to read

together every day even just five

minutes from the Book of Mormon

or any other Church book It will

strengthen your relationship andnourish you with the word of God

so you can be ready to face each day

Remember also to pray to God and

ask for His help I know He hears you

and loves you

Laura M 19 Coacuterdoba Argentina

LEARN FROM

YOUR MOTHER

ldquoPlease look to yourfaithful mothers fora pattern to followModel yourselves

after them not after celebritieswhose standards are not the Lordrsquosstandards and whose values maynot reflect an eternal perspectiveLook to your mother Learn fromher strengths her courage andher faithfulness Listen to her She

may not be a whiz at texting shemay not even have a Facebookpage But when it comes to mat-ters of the heart and the thingsof the Lord she has a wealth ofknowledgerdquo

Elder M Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles ldquoMothers and Daughtersrdquo

Ensign May 2010 19

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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46 N e w E r a

MISERABLE TOTHE END OFTHE STREET

For one family home evening my

dad wanted to take advantage

of a pause in the rainy weather

to go on a walk around the neighbor-

hood I grumbled and complained

that it was too wet and muddy to

go walking I used the excuse that

I had a ballet recital that week and

didnrsquot want to sprain an ankle but

my dad didnrsquot buy it He insisted thatit was going to be the activity for the

evening I murmured a bit more about

the unfairness and my recital but we

left on the walk anyway

As I glumly stomped outside for

the walk with my family I was deter-

mined not to smile or be happy I

succeeded in feeling miserable until

I N S T A N T M E S S A G E S

we reached the end of the street Then

we turned the corner and I saw in full

force naturersquos beauty and wonder

Before me was a gorgeous sunset

and opposite it was a rainbow arching

above our neighborhood rooftops

I immediately forgot all about being

miserable and looked around in awe

On the way home I said a prayer of

gratitude thanking God for the beautyof His creations I later thanked my

dad for choosing the activity and for

allowing us to enjoy nature for that

family home evening

Jennie H North Carolina USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 47

STANDARDS AND FRIENDS

Since Irsquove been in school Irsquove had friends who havenrsquot understood the

moral standards of our religion At first it was difficult but over time

my friends have become used to the idea of my being morally clean I

made a goal in my life to be clean and pure and itrsquos worked out well both

for me and for those who used to criticize me Over time respect peace and

joy have become a part of our loving circle of friends

Vitoacuteria M Brazil

A DIFFICULT DECISION

FORGIVINGMY FRIENDS

As the only member of the

Church in my peer group

Irsquove experienced some

instances when my friends have

offended me Sometimes they judge

and criticize my religion I feel so

alone yet Irsquom thankful I know the

standards of the Church

If my friends offend me I try to

humble myself and avoid contention

because I know contention is evil When they start discussing some mat-

ters about the Church I just testify of

my belief in the gospel

I always forgive my friends with or

without their apology Forgiving is not

just about saying ldquoApology acceptedrdquo

or ldquoItrsquos OKrdquo because forgiveness has

a deep meaning Jesus Christ atoned

for our sins so that Heavenly Father

can forgive usEven though my friends donrsquot

understand my faith now I know that

I can be Godrsquos instrument to teach

them the gospel I am helping them

and at the same time I am helping

myself to grow spiritually and prepare

to serve a mission

Joshua V Philippines

As volleyball tryouts approached for my senior year in high

school I couldnrsquot believe the thought that was running through

my head I wasnrsquot supposed to play volleyball Irsquod played vol-

leyball since seventh grademdashwhy should this year be any different

Not seeing the sense in quitting I ignored the feeling and continued

to participate in summer volleyball events After a while the feeling

came back so I decided that if I really wasnrsquot supposed to be on the

team my coach would just cut me during tryouts

Then one night at the gym I couldnrsquot focus on the game at all I felt

terrible and restless inside I came home frustrated with my team and

with myself I sat next to my mom and sister and cried I told them

how confused I was and my mom told me to pray and ask Heavenly

Father what He wanted me to do I went up to my room and began to

pray I told Heavenly Father how I felt then I asked Him to help mefeel peace if I was not supposed to continue playing volleyball I felt

His peace in my heart and knew that I needed to quit

Irsquom still not sure all the reasons why that was the right

decision but I know that itrsquos what the Lord

wanted me to do and thatrsquos a good

enough reason for me

The next morning I told my

coach and my teammates that

I wasnrsquot going to be playing

Even though it was incrediblyhard I knew I was doing

the right thing

Klaire B Arizona USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5152

you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5252

WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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34 N e w E r a

JOIN THE CONVERSATION

Things to Ponder for Sunday

bull What qualities and attitudes make for the strongest

and happiest marriages and families

bull What are you doing now that will help your future

marriage and family stay strong and happy

Things You Might Do

bull Share with some friends your goal of marrying and

having a family and tell them why

bull In church share why you are looking forward

to marriage and family and how you are pre-

paring for them

serving in the Church and inviting others to come unto

Christ As we work together to build the kingdom of God

we grow closer our love deepens and life is more fulfilling

Dating Rachel is so much fun In fact we make surethat we still frequently go on dates even as a married

couple After we first met we found that we enjoy many

of the same activities walking through parks attending

plays watching sporting events eating new and different

food listening to music and so much more I loved doing

these things before I met Rachel but theyrsquore even more

fun now that we get to share them together When yoursquore

married you have someone to enjoy life withmdashand that

makes life awesome

Before I met Ben I was nearing the age of missionary

service and had seriously considered serving a full-time

mission But then Ben entered my life and I knew that

Heavenly Father had a different plan for me

When Ben and I got engaged relatives who knew

about my thoughts to serve a mission asked me about my

choice and I would tell them ldquoI decided that I wanted topick my own missionary companionmdashand stay with him

for eternityrdquo

When yoursquore married you and your spouse have the

chance to participate in the work of salvation together

Ben and I have found great joy in building a Christ-

centered home studying and living the gospel together

Despite what the world may say marriage is awesome

and is worth making a priority When yoursquore married you

have a teammate you give and receive love you enjoy life

more fully and you have someone to build the kingdom

of God with All of that brings us great joy and because

we were sealed in the temple we can have this joy forever

If we keep our covenants we will be together for eternityand receive the crowning blessings of the priesthood We

ldquohave found in marriage the richest fulfillment of human

existencerdquo 4 NE

Ben and Rachel Nielsen live in Utah USA

NOTES

1 L Whitney Clayton ldquoMarriage Watch and Learnrdquo Ensign May 2013 83 2 ldquoThe Family A Proclamation to the Worldrdquo Ensign Nov 2010 129 3 See Richard G Scott ldquoThe Eternal Blessings of Marriagerdquo Ensign May

2011 96 4 James E Faust ldquoEnriching Your Marriagerdquo Ensign Apr 2007 6

FROM BEN M o r e E n jo y m e n t

FROM RACHEL A n E t e r n a l M is s i o n a r y C o m p a n io n

TAKE IT FROM US

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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Your family can help unite the family of GodYou can all share the gospel in natural and pleasant ways

P H O T O I L L U S T R A T I O N B Y D A V I D S T O K E R

M O R M O N A D

(See M Russell Ballard ldquoPut Your Trust in the Lordrdquo Ensign Nov 2013 43)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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36 N e w E r a

By Alex Larsen

I always knew I wanted to be a mother but when I was grow-

ing up it wasnrsquot always on my mind When my fianceacute and I

were engaged one day I was talking with one of my college

professorsmdasha woman I greatly admiredmdashabout my engage-

ment She said something that brought my life choices into sharp

focus ldquoYou are wasting your talentrdquo she told me as she shook

her head She went on to say that someone as smart as I was

should not get married young She assumed I would have chil-

dren in my future and would be ldquothrowing awayrdquo my education

and chances of a stellar career on my future motherhood I could

tell by the way she looked at me that she thought I was making

a terrible and naiumlve mistake

Itrsquos been several years since that conversation and my hus-

band and I have two little girls Kate is three years old and is

my little sweetheart She moves through life at a leisurely pace

savoring all of the little details she notices Annabel is one yearold with bright blue eyes and a head of curls Shersquos exuberant

and determined Though I didnrsquot change my mind because of

what my professor said our discussion has stayed with me In

one way my professorrsquos predictions were correct I do not have

a prestigious working career But my professor got the most

important point wrong because I have wasted nothing

g i v i n

g u p e v e r y

t hi n g

but wh a t

I

g a i n ed

w as w o r t h so much m o r e

T h e wor l d t o l d me

I w ould

b e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 37

their spirits growing and developing I remember

the first time Kate pointed to a picture of the Savior and

said ldquoJesusrdquo I knew then that what I was doing was eter-

nally significant in the lives of my children

The world often tells us that lifersquos rewards come in

the form of status money or grand accomplishments

but I know therersquos great satisfaction even in the small

acts of changing diapers or wiping sticky fingers Every

little thing I do as a mother is part of helping to build the

kingdom of God by nurturing His children I always knew

I wanted children but it was not until I held my first baby

in my arms that I began to realize how much my heart

was capable of loving

The love I have for my daughters has helped me bet-

ter understand how much my Heavenly Father loves all

of His children When speaking of little children Jesustaught that ldquoof such is the kingdom of heavenrdquo (Matthew

1914) More than anything motherhood has helped me

to grow as a daughter of God because now I know what

a daughter of God looks like from the eyes of a parent

The world makes us think that a woman loses herself in

motherhoodmdashshe loses her body her free time and her

career But I have found myself in motherhood I feel

more beautiful and more valuable than ever before NE

Alex Larsen lives in California USA

I love the opportunity to stay home and care for my

young children because these are the most formative

years of their lives I have the opportunity to create a rich

home environment for my girls by reading and discussing

things with them as part of our everyday life Kate will

often astound me by remembering and commenting on

something wersquod read in a book several weeks before and

Annabel learns a new skill almost every day But as fun

and important as it is to watch them learn new

information and skills I feel the

most satisfied when I see

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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38 N e w E r a

One o f t h e g r e a t e s t ad v enture s o f y o u r l i f e w i l l b e y our rol e a n d c a l l i n g a s a f a t her

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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ROcksROcksROcks

NOTE

1 See Thomas S Monson ldquoWelcome to Conferencerdquo Ensign Nov 2012 4ndash5

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 39

DA D D A DD AD

By Chris Deaver

W

hen I was younger I loved spending time

with my dad He always knew the bestgames to play the best stories to tell at night

and the most interesting sports to try It was

like he was born to be a great dad

Fast-forward my life to when I married my sweetheart

Julia and then even further to the moment that our first

child Daniel was born I was filled with a rush of emo-

tions I was happy shocked amazed and a little scared

I felt totally inadequate to be a father and to have the

responsibility of teaching and being an example to my son

But I quickly realized that Irsquod been preparing all my life tobe a dad When I held my son in my arms for the first time

and looked down into his face I felt the Spirit touch my

heart and I realized that I was ready to try to be a great

dad just like my own dad was to me

When Daniel was very young he already had a great

sense of humor He learned to tell hilarious jokes that

would make my wife and me laugh He also often said

things that inspired us Shortly after hearing President

Thomas S Monson announce the change in age require-

ments for young men and young women preparingto serve missions1 we were driving in the car Daniel

announced that he would start preparing himself right

then at age six so he would have 12 years of preparation

Then he said with a smile ldquoDad can I change the song

from lsquoI Hope They Call Me on a Missionrsquo to lsquoI AM Going on

a Missionrsquordquo It was awesome

WHYbeing a

Three years after Daniel was born he was followed by his

brother Austin For me as a dad itrsquos been great to watch bothboys become best friends And Austin has been just as fun

as Daniel in his own way He enjoys building and destroying

block towers and one of his favorite activities is to fearlessly

wrestle me as if I stand no chance against his four-year-old

powers Of course I give in and let him winmdashso I guess I

reinforce his belief But itrsquos so much fun I know hersquoll be a

great wrestler but what I want most is for him to wrestle

ldquoagainst the rulers of the darkness of this worldrdquo and ldquoagainst

spiritual wickednessrdquo like it says in the scriptures (Ephesians

612) And I hope Irsquom helping to prepare him to do that We just recently had our third child a baby girl named

Faith During the delivery my wife was having some com-

plications and we were scared for our baby I gave Julia

a blessing Then she asked me to sing to her The Spirit

brought peace to both of us Soon baby Faith came safely

into the world It was a miracle and she definitely lived up

to her name Faithrsquos beautiful smile brightens my life I canrsquot

express in words how much she means to me

For any young man still wondering let me tell you You

were born to be a great dad The world may not agree butfatherhood is the best Someday yoursquoll find that your kids

inspire you too and that being a dad is the greatest adven-

ture of your life Yes itrsquos a duty and something you need to

take seriously but being a dad is unlike anything else NE

Chris Deaver lives in Florida USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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40 N e w E r a

We always seem to be encouraged to read more

because well everyone knows that reading is a

good thing But not all books are worth reading and just

because sexual material is written about rather than pho-

tographed or video recorded doesnrsquot mean that itrsquos less

morally hazardous Making a common display of a sacred

intimacy thatrsquos intended to only be part of a marriage rela-

tionship is wrongmdashwhether in words or imagesIf something yoursquore reading contains explicit sexual

descriptions that imprint themselves on your mind and

arouse sexual feelings in the same way that looking at

pornographic images would then guess what Itrsquos pornog-

raphy Remember the counsel in For the Strength of Youth

ldquoChoose wisely when using media because whatever you

read listen to or look at has an effect on you Select only

media that uplifts yourdquo ([2011] 11) NE

T O T H E P O I N T

President Boyd K

Packer President of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoEach

of us must come to ourown personal testimony

of the Lord Jesus Christ

We then share that testi-

mony with our family and

othersrdquo1 It can sometimes

be easy to question the

depth of your testimony

I know looking at pornographic

pictures is wrong but whatabout reading books with

ldquoromanticrdquo scenes

If I donrsquot have a burning

desire to share thegospel does that mean I

donrsquot have a testimony

when you compare your-

self to people like Brigham

Young who once said ldquoI

wanted to thunder and

roar out the gospel to thenations It burned in my

bones like fire pent uprdquo2

So what if you donrsquot feel

fire in your bones

Hopefully your lack of

desire doesnrsquot come from

a lack of concern for your

fellowmen As your faith in

Jesus Christ grows so does

your love of all people a

love that is a mark of the

true followers of Christ (see

Moroni 748 John 1335)

Itrsquos likely however

that your hesitancy sim-

ply comes from fear and

anxiety about speaking toothers For many people

such feelings can be over-

whelming Even prophets

have had doubts about their

ability to speak to people

(see Exodus 410 Moses

631) They of course

had no reason to question

their testimoniesmdashand

neither should you if you

are studying the scriptures

pondering praying fasting

repenting and doing all the

other things that help bring

the Spirit into your life

If you feel you just

need a little extra cour-age to share the gos-

pel visit ldsorggo

shareNE8 for ideas NE

NOTES

1 Boyd K Packer ldquoThe Witnessrdquo Ensign May 2014 96

2 Teachings of Presidents ofthe Church Brigham Young (1997) viii

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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C O M E F O L L O W M E

Family

983152983137tter983150 of

President Boyd K PackerPresident of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

April 2014 general conference

The ultimate end

of all activity in

the Church is that

a man and his wife

and their childrencan be happy

at home

The FamilyYoursquoll be studying about the family in your Sunday classes

this month As you study and discuss family you may pon-der these questions Why do Church leaders emphasize

family so much What is the place of family in Heavenly

Fatherrsquos plan How does family help make us happy

To find some answers to these questions see the

family proclamation near the back of your Personal

Progress or Duty to God booklet or online at ldsorg

gofamilyNE8 Yoursquoll also find teachings about

family relationships in general conference talks at

conferenceldsorg

Give yourself an easy reminder to prepare for your

Sunday lessons on the family Just place these cards

in your scriptures locker or bedroom You can also

download or share them online at ldsorggocardsNE8 B A C K G R O U N D T E X T U R E

B Y I S T O C K P H O T O T H I N K S T O C K

We 983150eed We 983150eed

MOR E

983155tre983150983143the983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

RELATIONSHIPS

983153u983137lity 983153u983137lity TIME amp EFFORT INTO

TO PUT

983155re983150983143te983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4452

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4552

T H E E X T R A S M I L E

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 43

I dont like to pack so I rsquo m just wearing all my stuff

JON CLARK

W h a t m a k e s y o

u t h i n k

D a d rsquo s t a l k i n g t o

t h e

p r o p h e t

B ecaus e h e s ai d h e w as on a conf er ence cal l

RYAN STOKER

F r o m n o w o n j u s t t a k e

a p i c t u r e o f t h e t o o t h a n

d

u p l o a d i t t o m y F a c e b o o k

p a g e

a n d t h e n I rsquo l l s e n d y o u t h e

m o n e y t h r o u g h P a y P a l

RANDY GLASBERGEN

[Gasp] He he made h is bed this morning

And I didnrsquo t even ask

VAL CHADWICK BAGLEY

Who says there arenrsquo t modern m iracles

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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44 N e w E r a

ldquoMymom works

Since you donrsquot see your mom often make sure that

the time you do have together is used well You

could talk to your mom about how to do this She

wants a good relationship with you too and will

help you work on it Try asking her what she would

appreciate coming home to a clean house doing an activity

together just talking with you As you regularly do activities your mom appreciates your relationship will improve

Of course you could plan some fun activities to do together

but any meaningful time togethermdashsuch as washing the dishes

or reading the scripturesmdashcan be a great way to build your

relationship

Also plan time for communication Understanding one

another is a key ingredient in good relationships One thing

to discuss is how your momrsquos work schedule will affect your

relationship with her You can avoid misunderstandings if you

talk about your expectations as well as your momrsquosPrayer will help Families are important to Heavenly Father

so He can inspire you to know how to improve your relation-

ship with your mom Donrsquot ignore a prompting to do something

that seems small (see Alma 376) A hug and a smile for exam-

ple can make a big difference NE

Write a Note

Even if you have very

little time together you

can still express your

love to your mother

Write her thoughtful secret notes As

she reads them at work she will think

of you Do as much as you can for

her Think about her more often and

pray for her Ask the Lord to inspire

you and prompt you regarding how

you can improve your relationship Irinka E 20 Odessa Ukraine

Seek to Understand Her

Try to understand her situation

because she works for your benefit

You can begin by helping with things

at home like cleaning the house

helping your siblings and cooking

You also can share scriptures with

your mom pray together and doactivities that you like to do together

Morony M 18 Chihuahua Mexico

Have a Special Sunday

On some Sundays we

have a special lunch

or dinner with a new

dessert we talk and at

the end we sing hymns This brings

us together and helps us be betterfriends

Rebeca N 12 Satildeo Paulo Brazil

Try an Experiment

We arrange time to be together hav-

ing family home evening playing

games going to the beach having

lunch together All of this helps to

Q U E S T I O N S amp A N S W E R S

all day Howcan I improve our

relationshiprdquo

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4752

keep the flame of a good relationship

alive When we disagree we avoid

criticizing I know that sometimes I

ask not to do housework but this

contributes to disharmony in the

home Since I began this experiment

mdashcomplaining less lowering my

voice helping more with housework

and talking more with my mothermdash

a sweet spirit has developed in our

home and we cooperate more

Glenda C 18 Bahia Brazil

Help at Home

Do some extra chores

around the house Your

mom has been work-

ing all day If she has

less work to do when she gets home

shersquoll probably be happier and have

more time to talk and do things with

you While you are talking you canask about her day at work It will

show her that you care and it will

open doors for other topics of discus-

sion allowing you to grow closer

Heather B 18 Oregon USA

Find Something You BothLike to Do

My mumrsquos relationship with me

skyrocketed when I said ldquoI want tospend more time with you but I donrsquot

know what to do or when to do itrdquo

Playing board games happens to be

our favorite pastime So we set aside

a time together to play laugh and

make memories When you are open

with your parents eventually they

become your best companions You

UPCOMING QUESTION

ldquoMy parents just

got divorced Irsquom angry that they

have broken up our

family How doI forgive themrdquo

Send your answer and photo by

September 15 2014

Go to neweraldsorg click ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo enter your LDS Accountand then select ldquoNew Erardquo

Responses may be edited for length

or clarity

Responses are intended for help and per-

spective not as official pronouncements ofChurch doctrine

will be able to talk to them about

anything and you will be sure of an

honest answer That is the sign of a

mature relationship

Ephraim S 15 New South Wales Australia

Read Scriptures Together

Both of you could set a goal to read

together every day even just five

minutes from the Book of Mormon

or any other Church book It will

strengthen your relationship andnourish you with the word of God

so you can be ready to face each day

Remember also to pray to God and

ask for His help I know He hears you

and loves you

Laura M 19 Coacuterdoba Argentina

LEARN FROM

YOUR MOTHER

ldquoPlease look to yourfaithful mothers fora pattern to followModel yourselves

after them not after celebritieswhose standards are not the Lordrsquosstandards and whose values maynot reflect an eternal perspectiveLook to your mother Learn fromher strengths her courage andher faithfulness Listen to her She

may not be a whiz at texting shemay not even have a Facebookpage But when it comes to mat-ters of the heart and the thingsof the Lord she has a wealth ofknowledgerdquo

Elder M Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles ldquoMothers and Daughtersrdquo

Ensign May 2010 19

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

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46 N e w E r a

MISERABLE TOTHE END OFTHE STREET

For one family home evening my

dad wanted to take advantage

of a pause in the rainy weather

to go on a walk around the neighbor-

hood I grumbled and complained

that it was too wet and muddy to

go walking I used the excuse that

I had a ballet recital that week and

didnrsquot want to sprain an ankle but

my dad didnrsquot buy it He insisted thatit was going to be the activity for the

evening I murmured a bit more about

the unfairness and my recital but we

left on the walk anyway

As I glumly stomped outside for

the walk with my family I was deter-

mined not to smile or be happy I

succeeded in feeling miserable until

I N S T A N T M E S S A G E S

we reached the end of the street Then

we turned the corner and I saw in full

force naturersquos beauty and wonder

Before me was a gorgeous sunset

and opposite it was a rainbow arching

above our neighborhood rooftops

I immediately forgot all about being

miserable and looked around in awe

On the way home I said a prayer of

gratitude thanking God for the beautyof His creations I later thanked my

dad for choosing the activity and for

allowing us to enjoy nature for that

family home evening

Jennie H North Carolina USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4952

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 47

STANDARDS AND FRIENDS

Since Irsquove been in school Irsquove had friends who havenrsquot understood the

moral standards of our religion At first it was difficult but over time

my friends have become used to the idea of my being morally clean I

made a goal in my life to be clean and pure and itrsquos worked out well both

for me and for those who used to criticize me Over time respect peace and

joy have become a part of our loving circle of friends

Vitoacuteria M Brazil

A DIFFICULT DECISION

FORGIVINGMY FRIENDS

As the only member of the

Church in my peer group

Irsquove experienced some

instances when my friends have

offended me Sometimes they judge

and criticize my religion I feel so

alone yet Irsquom thankful I know the

standards of the Church

If my friends offend me I try to

humble myself and avoid contention

because I know contention is evil When they start discussing some mat-

ters about the Church I just testify of

my belief in the gospel

I always forgive my friends with or

without their apology Forgiving is not

just about saying ldquoApology acceptedrdquo

or ldquoItrsquos OKrdquo because forgiveness has

a deep meaning Jesus Christ atoned

for our sins so that Heavenly Father

can forgive usEven though my friends donrsquot

understand my faith now I know that

I can be Godrsquos instrument to teach

them the gospel I am helping them

and at the same time I am helping

myself to grow spiritually and prepare

to serve a mission

Joshua V Philippines

As volleyball tryouts approached for my senior year in high

school I couldnrsquot believe the thought that was running through

my head I wasnrsquot supposed to play volleyball Irsquod played vol-

leyball since seventh grademdashwhy should this year be any different

Not seeing the sense in quitting I ignored the feeling and continued

to participate in summer volleyball events After a while the feeling

came back so I decided that if I really wasnrsquot supposed to be on the

team my coach would just cut me during tryouts

Then one night at the gym I couldnrsquot focus on the game at all I felt

terrible and restless inside I came home frustrated with my team and

with myself I sat next to my mom and sister and cried I told them

how confused I was and my mom told me to pray and ask Heavenly

Father what He wanted me to do I went up to my room and began to

pray I told Heavenly Father how I felt then I asked Him to help mefeel peace if I was not supposed to continue playing volleyball I felt

His peace in my heart and knew that I needed to quit

Irsquom still not sure all the reasons why that was the right

decision but I know that itrsquos what the Lord

wanted me to do and thatrsquos a good

enough reason for me

The next morning I told my

coach and my teammates that

I wasnrsquot going to be playing

Even though it was incrediblyhard I knew I was doing

the right thing

Klaire B Arizona USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5052

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5152

you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5252

WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 3752

Your family can help unite the family of GodYou can all share the gospel in natural and pleasant ways

P H O T O I L L U S T R A T I O N B Y D A V I D S T O K E R

M O R M O N A D

(See M Russell Ballard ldquoPut Your Trust in the Lordrdquo Ensign Nov 2013 43)

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 3852

36 N e w E r a

By Alex Larsen

I always knew I wanted to be a mother but when I was grow-

ing up it wasnrsquot always on my mind When my fianceacute and I

were engaged one day I was talking with one of my college

professorsmdasha woman I greatly admiredmdashabout my engage-

ment She said something that brought my life choices into sharp

focus ldquoYou are wasting your talentrdquo she told me as she shook

her head She went on to say that someone as smart as I was

should not get married young She assumed I would have chil-

dren in my future and would be ldquothrowing awayrdquo my education

and chances of a stellar career on my future motherhood I could

tell by the way she looked at me that she thought I was making

a terrible and naiumlve mistake

Itrsquos been several years since that conversation and my hus-

band and I have two little girls Kate is three years old and is

my little sweetheart She moves through life at a leisurely pace

savoring all of the little details she notices Annabel is one yearold with bright blue eyes and a head of curls Shersquos exuberant

and determined Though I didnrsquot change my mind because of

what my professor said our discussion has stayed with me In

one way my professorrsquos predictions were correct I do not have

a prestigious working career But my professor got the most

important point wrong because I have wasted nothing

g i v i n

g u p e v e r y

t hi n g

but wh a t

I

g a i n ed

w as w o r t h so much m o r e

T h e wor l d t o l d me

I w ould

b e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 3952

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 37

their spirits growing and developing I remember

the first time Kate pointed to a picture of the Savior and

said ldquoJesusrdquo I knew then that what I was doing was eter-

nally significant in the lives of my children

The world often tells us that lifersquos rewards come in

the form of status money or grand accomplishments

but I know therersquos great satisfaction even in the small

acts of changing diapers or wiping sticky fingers Every

little thing I do as a mother is part of helping to build the

kingdom of God by nurturing His children I always knew

I wanted children but it was not until I held my first baby

in my arms that I began to realize how much my heart

was capable of loving

The love I have for my daughters has helped me bet-

ter understand how much my Heavenly Father loves all

of His children When speaking of little children Jesustaught that ldquoof such is the kingdom of heavenrdquo (Matthew

1914) More than anything motherhood has helped me

to grow as a daughter of God because now I know what

a daughter of God looks like from the eyes of a parent

The world makes us think that a woman loses herself in

motherhoodmdashshe loses her body her free time and her

career But I have found myself in motherhood I feel

more beautiful and more valuable than ever before NE

Alex Larsen lives in California USA

I love the opportunity to stay home and care for my

young children because these are the most formative

years of their lives I have the opportunity to create a rich

home environment for my girls by reading and discussing

things with them as part of our everyday life Kate will

often astound me by remembering and commenting on

something wersquod read in a book several weeks before and

Annabel learns a new skill almost every day But as fun

and important as it is to watch them learn new

information and skills I feel the

most satisfied when I see

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4052

38 N e w E r a

One o f t h e g r e a t e s t ad v enture s o f y o u r l i f e w i l l b e y our rol e a n d c a l l i n g a s a f a t her

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4152

ROcksROcksROcks

NOTE

1 See Thomas S Monson ldquoWelcome to Conferencerdquo Ensign Nov 2012 4ndash5

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 39

DA D D A DD AD

By Chris Deaver

W

hen I was younger I loved spending time

with my dad He always knew the bestgames to play the best stories to tell at night

and the most interesting sports to try It was

like he was born to be a great dad

Fast-forward my life to when I married my sweetheart

Julia and then even further to the moment that our first

child Daniel was born I was filled with a rush of emo-

tions I was happy shocked amazed and a little scared

I felt totally inadequate to be a father and to have the

responsibility of teaching and being an example to my son

But I quickly realized that Irsquod been preparing all my life tobe a dad When I held my son in my arms for the first time

and looked down into his face I felt the Spirit touch my

heart and I realized that I was ready to try to be a great

dad just like my own dad was to me

When Daniel was very young he already had a great

sense of humor He learned to tell hilarious jokes that

would make my wife and me laugh He also often said

things that inspired us Shortly after hearing President

Thomas S Monson announce the change in age require-

ments for young men and young women preparingto serve missions1 we were driving in the car Daniel

announced that he would start preparing himself right

then at age six so he would have 12 years of preparation

Then he said with a smile ldquoDad can I change the song

from lsquoI Hope They Call Me on a Missionrsquo to lsquoI AM Going on

a Missionrsquordquo It was awesome

WHYbeing a

Three years after Daniel was born he was followed by his

brother Austin For me as a dad itrsquos been great to watch bothboys become best friends And Austin has been just as fun

as Daniel in his own way He enjoys building and destroying

block towers and one of his favorite activities is to fearlessly

wrestle me as if I stand no chance against his four-year-old

powers Of course I give in and let him winmdashso I guess I

reinforce his belief But itrsquos so much fun I know hersquoll be a

great wrestler but what I want most is for him to wrestle

ldquoagainst the rulers of the darkness of this worldrdquo and ldquoagainst

spiritual wickednessrdquo like it says in the scriptures (Ephesians

612) And I hope Irsquom helping to prepare him to do that We just recently had our third child a baby girl named

Faith During the delivery my wife was having some com-

plications and we were scared for our baby I gave Julia

a blessing Then she asked me to sing to her The Spirit

brought peace to both of us Soon baby Faith came safely

into the world It was a miracle and she definitely lived up

to her name Faithrsquos beautiful smile brightens my life I canrsquot

express in words how much she means to me

For any young man still wondering let me tell you You

were born to be a great dad The world may not agree butfatherhood is the best Someday yoursquoll find that your kids

inspire you too and that being a dad is the greatest adven-

ture of your life Yes itrsquos a duty and something you need to

take seriously but being a dad is unlike anything else NE

Chris Deaver lives in Florida USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4252

40 N e w E r a

We always seem to be encouraged to read more

because well everyone knows that reading is a

good thing But not all books are worth reading and just

because sexual material is written about rather than pho-

tographed or video recorded doesnrsquot mean that itrsquos less

morally hazardous Making a common display of a sacred

intimacy thatrsquos intended to only be part of a marriage rela-

tionship is wrongmdashwhether in words or imagesIf something yoursquore reading contains explicit sexual

descriptions that imprint themselves on your mind and

arouse sexual feelings in the same way that looking at

pornographic images would then guess what Itrsquos pornog-

raphy Remember the counsel in For the Strength of Youth

ldquoChoose wisely when using media because whatever you

read listen to or look at has an effect on you Select only

media that uplifts yourdquo ([2011] 11) NE

T O T H E P O I N T

President Boyd K

Packer President of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoEach

of us must come to ourown personal testimony

of the Lord Jesus Christ

We then share that testi-

mony with our family and

othersrdquo1 It can sometimes

be easy to question the

depth of your testimony

I know looking at pornographic

pictures is wrong but whatabout reading books with

ldquoromanticrdquo scenes

If I donrsquot have a burning

desire to share thegospel does that mean I

donrsquot have a testimony

when you compare your-

self to people like Brigham

Young who once said ldquoI

wanted to thunder and

roar out the gospel to thenations It burned in my

bones like fire pent uprdquo2

So what if you donrsquot feel

fire in your bones

Hopefully your lack of

desire doesnrsquot come from

a lack of concern for your

fellowmen As your faith in

Jesus Christ grows so does

your love of all people a

love that is a mark of the

true followers of Christ (see

Moroni 748 John 1335)

Itrsquos likely however

that your hesitancy sim-

ply comes from fear and

anxiety about speaking toothers For many people

such feelings can be over-

whelming Even prophets

have had doubts about their

ability to speak to people

(see Exodus 410 Moses

631) They of course

had no reason to question

their testimoniesmdashand

neither should you if you

are studying the scriptures

pondering praying fasting

repenting and doing all the

other things that help bring

the Spirit into your life

If you feel you just

need a little extra cour-age to share the gos-

pel visit ldsorggo

shareNE8 for ideas NE

NOTES

1 Boyd K Packer ldquoThe Witnessrdquo Ensign May 2014 96

2 Teachings of Presidents ofthe Church Brigham Young (1997) viii

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4352

C O M E F O L L O W M E

Family

983152983137tter983150 of

President Boyd K PackerPresident of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

April 2014 general conference

The ultimate end

of all activity in

the Church is that

a man and his wife

and their childrencan be happy

at home

The FamilyYoursquoll be studying about the family in your Sunday classes

this month As you study and discuss family you may pon-der these questions Why do Church leaders emphasize

family so much What is the place of family in Heavenly

Fatherrsquos plan How does family help make us happy

To find some answers to these questions see the

family proclamation near the back of your Personal

Progress or Duty to God booklet or online at ldsorg

gofamilyNE8 Yoursquoll also find teachings about

family relationships in general conference talks at

conferenceldsorg

Give yourself an easy reminder to prepare for your

Sunday lessons on the family Just place these cards

in your scriptures locker or bedroom You can also

download or share them online at ldsorggocardsNE8 B A C K G R O U N D T E X T U R E

B Y I S T O C K P H O T O T H I N K S T O C K

We 983150eed We 983150eed

MOR E

983155tre983150983143the983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

RELATIONSHIPS

983153u983137lity 983153u983137lity TIME amp EFFORT INTO

TO PUT

983155re983150983143te983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4452

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4552

T H E E X T R A S M I L E

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 43

I dont like to pack so I rsquo m just wearing all my stuff

JON CLARK

W h a t m a k e s y o

u t h i n k

D a d rsquo s t a l k i n g t o

t h e

p r o p h e t

B ecaus e h e s ai d h e w as on a conf er ence cal l

RYAN STOKER

F r o m n o w o n j u s t t a k e

a p i c t u r e o f t h e t o o t h a n

d

u p l o a d i t t o m y F a c e b o o k

p a g e

a n d t h e n I rsquo l l s e n d y o u t h e

m o n e y t h r o u g h P a y P a l

RANDY GLASBERGEN

[Gasp] He he made h is bed this morning

And I didnrsquo t even ask

VAL CHADWICK BAGLEY

Who says there arenrsquo t modern m iracles

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4652

44 N e w E r a

ldquoMymom works

Since you donrsquot see your mom often make sure that

the time you do have together is used well You

could talk to your mom about how to do this She

wants a good relationship with you too and will

help you work on it Try asking her what she would

appreciate coming home to a clean house doing an activity

together just talking with you As you regularly do activities your mom appreciates your relationship will improve

Of course you could plan some fun activities to do together

but any meaningful time togethermdashsuch as washing the dishes

or reading the scripturesmdashcan be a great way to build your

relationship

Also plan time for communication Understanding one

another is a key ingredient in good relationships One thing

to discuss is how your momrsquos work schedule will affect your

relationship with her You can avoid misunderstandings if you

talk about your expectations as well as your momrsquosPrayer will help Families are important to Heavenly Father

so He can inspire you to know how to improve your relation-

ship with your mom Donrsquot ignore a prompting to do something

that seems small (see Alma 376) A hug and a smile for exam-

ple can make a big difference NE

Write a Note

Even if you have very

little time together you

can still express your

love to your mother

Write her thoughtful secret notes As

she reads them at work she will think

of you Do as much as you can for

her Think about her more often and

pray for her Ask the Lord to inspire

you and prompt you regarding how

you can improve your relationship Irinka E 20 Odessa Ukraine

Seek to Understand Her

Try to understand her situation

because she works for your benefit

You can begin by helping with things

at home like cleaning the house

helping your siblings and cooking

You also can share scriptures with

your mom pray together and doactivities that you like to do together

Morony M 18 Chihuahua Mexico

Have a Special Sunday

On some Sundays we

have a special lunch

or dinner with a new

dessert we talk and at

the end we sing hymns This brings

us together and helps us be betterfriends

Rebeca N 12 Satildeo Paulo Brazil

Try an Experiment

We arrange time to be together hav-

ing family home evening playing

games going to the beach having

lunch together All of this helps to

Q U E S T I O N S amp A N S W E R S

all day Howcan I improve our

relationshiprdquo

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4752

keep the flame of a good relationship

alive When we disagree we avoid

criticizing I know that sometimes I

ask not to do housework but this

contributes to disharmony in the

home Since I began this experiment

mdashcomplaining less lowering my

voice helping more with housework

and talking more with my mothermdash

a sweet spirit has developed in our

home and we cooperate more

Glenda C 18 Bahia Brazil

Help at Home

Do some extra chores

around the house Your

mom has been work-

ing all day If she has

less work to do when she gets home

shersquoll probably be happier and have

more time to talk and do things with

you While you are talking you canask about her day at work It will

show her that you care and it will

open doors for other topics of discus-

sion allowing you to grow closer

Heather B 18 Oregon USA

Find Something You BothLike to Do

My mumrsquos relationship with me

skyrocketed when I said ldquoI want tospend more time with you but I donrsquot

know what to do or when to do itrdquo

Playing board games happens to be

our favorite pastime So we set aside

a time together to play laugh and

make memories When you are open

with your parents eventually they

become your best companions You

UPCOMING QUESTION

ldquoMy parents just

got divorced Irsquom angry that they

have broken up our

family How doI forgive themrdquo

Send your answer and photo by

September 15 2014

Go to neweraldsorg click ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo enter your LDS Accountand then select ldquoNew Erardquo

Responses may be edited for length

or clarity

Responses are intended for help and per-

spective not as official pronouncements ofChurch doctrine

will be able to talk to them about

anything and you will be sure of an

honest answer That is the sign of a

mature relationship

Ephraim S 15 New South Wales Australia

Read Scriptures Together

Both of you could set a goal to read

together every day even just five

minutes from the Book of Mormon

or any other Church book It will

strengthen your relationship andnourish you with the word of God

so you can be ready to face each day

Remember also to pray to God and

ask for His help I know He hears you

and loves you

Laura M 19 Coacuterdoba Argentina

LEARN FROM

YOUR MOTHER

ldquoPlease look to yourfaithful mothers fora pattern to followModel yourselves

after them not after celebritieswhose standards are not the Lordrsquosstandards and whose values maynot reflect an eternal perspectiveLook to your mother Learn fromher strengths her courage andher faithfulness Listen to her She

may not be a whiz at texting shemay not even have a Facebookpage But when it comes to mat-ters of the heart and the thingsof the Lord she has a wealth ofknowledgerdquo

Elder M Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles ldquoMothers and Daughtersrdquo

Ensign May 2010 19

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4852

46 N e w E r a

MISERABLE TOTHE END OFTHE STREET

For one family home evening my

dad wanted to take advantage

of a pause in the rainy weather

to go on a walk around the neighbor-

hood I grumbled and complained

that it was too wet and muddy to

go walking I used the excuse that

I had a ballet recital that week and

didnrsquot want to sprain an ankle but

my dad didnrsquot buy it He insisted thatit was going to be the activity for the

evening I murmured a bit more about

the unfairness and my recital but we

left on the walk anyway

As I glumly stomped outside for

the walk with my family I was deter-

mined not to smile or be happy I

succeeded in feeling miserable until

I N S T A N T M E S S A G E S

we reached the end of the street Then

we turned the corner and I saw in full

force naturersquos beauty and wonder

Before me was a gorgeous sunset

and opposite it was a rainbow arching

above our neighborhood rooftops

I immediately forgot all about being

miserable and looked around in awe

On the way home I said a prayer of

gratitude thanking God for the beautyof His creations I later thanked my

dad for choosing the activity and for

allowing us to enjoy nature for that

family home evening

Jennie H North Carolina USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4952

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 47

STANDARDS AND FRIENDS

Since Irsquove been in school Irsquove had friends who havenrsquot understood the

moral standards of our religion At first it was difficult but over time

my friends have become used to the idea of my being morally clean I

made a goal in my life to be clean and pure and itrsquos worked out well both

for me and for those who used to criticize me Over time respect peace and

joy have become a part of our loving circle of friends

Vitoacuteria M Brazil

A DIFFICULT DECISION

FORGIVINGMY FRIENDS

As the only member of the

Church in my peer group

Irsquove experienced some

instances when my friends have

offended me Sometimes they judge

and criticize my religion I feel so

alone yet Irsquom thankful I know the

standards of the Church

If my friends offend me I try to

humble myself and avoid contention

because I know contention is evil When they start discussing some mat-

ters about the Church I just testify of

my belief in the gospel

I always forgive my friends with or

without their apology Forgiving is not

just about saying ldquoApology acceptedrdquo

or ldquoItrsquos OKrdquo because forgiveness has

a deep meaning Jesus Christ atoned

for our sins so that Heavenly Father

can forgive usEven though my friends donrsquot

understand my faith now I know that

I can be Godrsquos instrument to teach

them the gospel I am helping them

and at the same time I am helping

myself to grow spiritually and prepare

to serve a mission

Joshua V Philippines

As volleyball tryouts approached for my senior year in high

school I couldnrsquot believe the thought that was running through

my head I wasnrsquot supposed to play volleyball Irsquod played vol-

leyball since seventh grademdashwhy should this year be any different

Not seeing the sense in quitting I ignored the feeling and continued

to participate in summer volleyball events After a while the feeling

came back so I decided that if I really wasnrsquot supposed to be on the

team my coach would just cut me during tryouts

Then one night at the gym I couldnrsquot focus on the game at all I felt

terrible and restless inside I came home frustrated with my team and

with myself I sat next to my mom and sister and cried I told them

how confused I was and my mom told me to pray and ask Heavenly

Father what He wanted me to do I went up to my room and began to

pray I told Heavenly Father how I felt then I asked Him to help mefeel peace if I was not supposed to continue playing volleyball I felt

His peace in my heart and knew that I needed to quit

Irsquom still not sure all the reasons why that was the right

decision but I know that itrsquos what the Lord

wanted me to do and thatrsquos a good

enough reason for me

The next morning I told my

coach and my teammates that

I wasnrsquot going to be playing

Even though it was incrediblyhard I knew I was doing

the right thing

Klaire B Arizona USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5052

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5152

you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5252

WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 3852

36 N e w E r a

By Alex Larsen

I always knew I wanted to be a mother but when I was grow-

ing up it wasnrsquot always on my mind When my fianceacute and I

were engaged one day I was talking with one of my college

professorsmdasha woman I greatly admiredmdashabout my engage-

ment She said something that brought my life choices into sharp

focus ldquoYou are wasting your talentrdquo she told me as she shook

her head She went on to say that someone as smart as I was

should not get married young She assumed I would have chil-

dren in my future and would be ldquothrowing awayrdquo my education

and chances of a stellar career on my future motherhood I could

tell by the way she looked at me that she thought I was making

a terrible and naiumlve mistake

Itrsquos been several years since that conversation and my hus-

band and I have two little girls Kate is three years old and is

my little sweetheart She moves through life at a leisurely pace

savoring all of the little details she notices Annabel is one yearold with bright blue eyes and a head of curls Shersquos exuberant

and determined Though I didnrsquot change my mind because of

what my professor said our discussion has stayed with me In

one way my professorrsquos predictions were correct I do not have

a prestigious working career But my professor got the most

important point wrong because I have wasted nothing

g i v i n

g u p e v e r y

t hi n g

but wh a t

I

g a i n ed

w as w o r t h so much m o r e

T h e wor l d t o l d me

I w ould

b e

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 3952

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 37

their spirits growing and developing I remember

the first time Kate pointed to a picture of the Savior and

said ldquoJesusrdquo I knew then that what I was doing was eter-

nally significant in the lives of my children

The world often tells us that lifersquos rewards come in

the form of status money or grand accomplishments

but I know therersquos great satisfaction even in the small

acts of changing diapers or wiping sticky fingers Every

little thing I do as a mother is part of helping to build the

kingdom of God by nurturing His children I always knew

I wanted children but it was not until I held my first baby

in my arms that I began to realize how much my heart

was capable of loving

The love I have for my daughters has helped me bet-

ter understand how much my Heavenly Father loves all

of His children When speaking of little children Jesustaught that ldquoof such is the kingdom of heavenrdquo (Matthew

1914) More than anything motherhood has helped me

to grow as a daughter of God because now I know what

a daughter of God looks like from the eyes of a parent

The world makes us think that a woman loses herself in

motherhoodmdashshe loses her body her free time and her

career But I have found myself in motherhood I feel

more beautiful and more valuable than ever before NE

Alex Larsen lives in California USA

I love the opportunity to stay home and care for my

young children because these are the most formative

years of their lives I have the opportunity to create a rich

home environment for my girls by reading and discussing

things with them as part of our everyday life Kate will

often astound me by remembering and commenting on

something wersquod read in a book several weeks before and

Annabel learns a new skill almost every day But as fun

and important as it is to watch them learn new

information and skills I feel the

most satisfied when I see

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4052

38 N e w E r a

One o f t h e g r e a t e s t ad v enture s o f y o u r l i f e w i l l b e y our rol e a n d c a l l i n g a s a f a t her

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4152

ROcksROcksROcks

NOTE

1 See Thomas S Monson ldquoWelcome to Conferencerdquo Ensign Nov 2012 4ndash5

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 39

DA D D A DD AD

By Chris Deaver

W

hen I was younger I loved spending time

with my dad He always knew the bestgames to play the best stories to tell at night

and the most interesting sports to try It was

like he was born to be a great dad

Fast-forward my life to when I married my sweetheart

Julia and then even further to the moment that our first

child Daniel was born I was filled with a rush of emo-

tions I was happy shocked amazed and a little scared

I felt totally inadequate to be a father and to have the

responsibility of teaching and being an example to my son

But I quickly realized that Irsquod been preparing all my life tobe a dad When I held my son in my arms for the first time

and looked down into his face I felt the Spirit touch my

heart and I realized that I was ready to try to be a great

dad just like my own dad was to me

When Daniel was very young he already had a great

sense of humor He learned to tell hilarious jokes that

would make my wife and me laugh He also often said

things that inspired us Shortly after hearing President

Thomas S Monson announce the change in age require-

ments for young men and young women preparingto serve missions1 we were driving in the car Daniel

announced that he would start preparing himself right

then at age six so he would have 12 years of preparation

Then he said with a smile ldquoDad can I change the song

from lsquoI Hope They Call Me on a Missionrsquo to lsquoI AM Going on

a Missionrsquordquo It was awesome

WHYbeing a

Three years after Daniel was born he was followed by his

brother Austin For me as a dad itrsquos been great to watch bothboys become best friends And Austin has been just as fun

as Daniel in his own way He enjoys building and destroying

block towers and one of his favorite activities is to fearlessly

wrestle me as if I stand no chance against his four-year-old

powers Of course I give in and let him winmdashso I guess I

reinforce his belief But itrsquos so much fun I know hersquoll be a

great wrestler but what I want most is for him to wrestle

ldquoagainst the rulers of the darkness of this worldrdquo and ldquoagainst

spiritual wickednessrdquo like it says in the scriptures (Ephesians

612) And I hope Irsquom helping to prepare him to do that We just recently had our third child a baby girl named

Faith During the delivery my wife was having some com-

plications and we were scared for our baby I gave Julia

a blessing Then she asked me to sing to her The Spirit

brought peace to both of us Soon baby Faith came safely

into the world It was a miracle and she definitely lived up

to her name Faithrsquos beautiful smile brightens my life I canrsquot

express in words how much she means to me

For any young man still wondering let me tell you You

were born to be a great dad The world may not agree butfatherhood is the best Someday yoursquoll find that your kids

inspire you too and that being a dad is the greatest adven-

ture of your life Yes itrsquos a duty and something you need to

take seriously but being a dad is unlike anything else NE

Chris Deaver lives in Florida USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4252

40 N e w E r a

We always seem to be encouraged to read more

because well everyone knows that reading is a

good thing But not all books are worth reading and just

because sexual material is written about rather than pho-

tographed or video recorded doesnrsquot mean that itrsquos less

morally hazardous Making a common display of a sacred

intimacy thatrsquos intended to only be part of a marriage rela-

tionship is wrongmdashwhether in words or imagesIf something yoursquore reading contains explicit sexual

descriptions that imprint themselves on your mind and

arouse sexual feelings in the same way that looking at

pornographic images would then guess what Itrsquos pornog-

raphy Remember the counsel in For the Strength of Youth

ldquoChoose wisely when using media because whatever you

read listen to or look at has an effect on you Select only

media that uplifts yourdquo ([2011] 11) NE

T O T H E P O I N T

President Boyd K

Packer President of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoEach

of us must come to ourown personal testimony

of the Lord Jesus Christ

We then share that testi-

mony with our family and

othersrdquo1 It can sometimes

be easy to question the

depth of your testimony

I know looking at pornographic

pictures is wrong but whatabout reading books with

ldquoromanticrdquo scenes

If I donrsquot have a burning

desire to share thegospel does that mean I

donrsquot have a testimony

when you compare your-

self to people like Brigham

Young who once said ldquoI

wanted to thunder and

roar out the gospel to thenations It burned in my

bones like fire pent uprdquo2

So what if you donrsquot feel

fire in your bones

Hopefully your lack of

desire doesnrsquot come from

a lack of concern for your

fellowmen As your faith in

Jesus Christ grows so does

your love of all people a

love that is a mark of the

true followers of Christ (see

Moroni 748 John 1335)

Itrsquos likely however

that your hesitancy sim-

ply comes from fear and

anxiety about speaking toothers For many people

such feelings can be over-

whelming Even prophets

have had doubts about their

ability to speak to people

(see Exodus 410 Moses

631) They of course

had no reason to question

their testimoniesmdashand

neither should you if you

are studying the scriptures

pondering praying fasting

repenting and doing all the

other things that help bring

the Spirit into your life

If you feel you just

need a little extra cour-age to share the gos-

pel visit ldsorggo

shareNE8 for ideas NE

NOTES

1 Boyd K Packer ldquoThe Witnessrdquo Ensign May 2014 96

2 Teachings of Presidents ofthe Church Brigham Young (1997) viii

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4352

C O M E F O L L O W M E

Family

983152983137tter983150 of

President Boyd K PackerPresident of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

April 2014 general conference

The ultimate end

of all activity in

the Church is that

a man and his wife

and their childrencan be happy

at home

The FamilyYoursquoll be studying about the family in your Sunday classes

this month As you study and discuss family you may pon-der these questions Why do Church leaders emphasize

family so much What is the place of family in Heavenly

Fatherrsquos plan How does family help make us happy

To find some answers to these questions see the

family proclamation near the back of your Personal

Progress or Duty to God booklet or online at ldsorg

gofamilyNE8 Yoursquoll also find teachings about

family relationships in general conference talks at

conferenceldsorg

Give yourself an easy reminder to prepare for your

Sunday lessons on the family Just place these cards

in your scriptures locker or bedroom You can also

download or share them online at ldsorggocardsNE8 B A C K G R O U N D T E X T U R E

B Y I S T O C K P H O T O T H I N K S T O C K

We 983150eed We 983150eed

MOR E

983155tre983150983143the983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

RELATIONSHIPS

983153u983137lity 983153u983137lity TIME amp EFFORT INTO

TO PUT

983155re983150983143te983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4452

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4552

T H E E X T R A S M I L E

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 43

I dont like to pack so I rsquo m just wearing all my stuff

JON CLARK

W h a t m a k e s y o

u t h i n k

D a d rsquo s t a l k i n g t o

t h e

p r o p h e t

B ecaus e h e s ai d h e w as on a conf er ence cal l

RYAN STOKER

F r o m n o w o n j u s t t a k e

a p i c t u r e o f t h e t o o t h a n

d

u p l o a d i t t o m y F a c e b o o k

p a g e

a n d t h e n I rsquo l l s e n d y o u t h e

m o n e y t h r o u g h P a y P a l

RANDY GLASBERGEN

[Gasp] He he made h is bed this morning

And I didnrsquo t even ask

VAL CHADWICK BAGLEY

Who says there arenrsquo t modern m iracles

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4652

44 N e w E r a

ldquoMymom works

Since you donrsquot see your mom often make sure that

the time you do have together is used well You

could talk to your mom about how to do this She

wants a good relationship with you too and will

help you work on it Try asking her what she would

appreciate coming home to a clean house doing an activity

together just talking with you As you regularly do activities your mom appreciates your relationship will improve

Of course you could plan some fun activities to do together

but any meaningful time togethermdashsuch as washing the dishes

or reading the scripturesmdashcan be a great way to build your

relationship

Also plan time for communication Understanding one

another is a key ingredient in good relationships One thing

to discuss is how your momrsquos work schedule will affect your

relationship with her You can avoid misunderstandings if you

talk about your expectations as well as your momrsquosPrayer will help Families are important to Heavenly Father

so He can inspire you to know how to improve your relation-

ship with your mom Donrsquot ignore a prompting to do something

that seems small (see Alma 376) A hug and a smile for exam-

ple can make a big difference NE

Write a Note

Even if you have very

little time together you

can still express your

love to your mother

Write her thoughtful secret notes As

she reads them at work she will think

of you Do as much as you can for

her Think about her more often and

pray for her Ask the Lord to inspire

you and prompt you regarding how

you can improve your relationship Irinka E 20 Odessa Ukraine

Seek to Understand Her

Try to understand her situation

because she works for your benefit

You can begin by helping with things

at home like cleaning the house

helping your siblings and cooking

You also can share scriptures with

your mom pray together and doactivities that you like to do together

Morony M 18 Chihuahua Mexico

Have a Special Sunday

On some Sundays we

have a special lunch

or dinner with a new

dessert we talk and at

the end we sing hymns This brings

us together and helps us be betterfriends

Rebeca N 12 Satildeo Paulo Brazil

Try an Experiment

We arrange time to be together hav-

ing family home evening playing

games going to the beach having

lunch together All of this helps to

Q U E S T I O N S amp A N S W E R S

all day Howcan I improve our

relationshiprdquo

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4752

keep the flame of a good relationship

alive When we disagree we avoid

criticizing I know that sometimes I

ask not to do housework but this

contributes to disharmony in the

home Since I began this experiment

mdashcomplaining less lowering my

voice helping more with housework

and talking more with my mothermdash

a sweet spirit has developed in our

home and we cooperate more

Glenda C 18 Bahia Brazil

Help at Home

Do some extra chores

around the house Your

mom has been work-

ing all day If she has

less work to do when she gets home

shersquoll probably be happier and have

more time to talk and do things with

you While you are talking you canask about her day at work It will

show her that you care and it will

open doors for other topics of discus-

sion allowing you to grow closer

Heather B 18 Oregon USA

Find Something You BothLike to Do

My mumrsquos relationship with me

skyrocketed when I said ldquoI want tospend more time with you but I donrsquot

know what to do or when to do itrdquo

Playing board games happens to be

our favorite pastime So we set aside

a time together to play laugh and

make memories When you are open

with your parents eventually they

become your best companions You

UPCOMING QUESTION

ldquoMy parents just

got divorced Irsquom angry that they

have broken up our

family How doI forgive themrdquo

Send your answer and photo by

September 15 2014

Go to neweraldsorg click ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo enter your LDS Accountand then select ldquoNew Erardquo

Responses may be edited for length

or clarity

Responses are intended for help and per-

spective not as official pronouncements ofChurch doctrine

will be able to talk to them about

anything and you will be sure of an

honest answer That is the sign of a

mature relationship

Ephraim S 15 New South Wales Australia

Read Scriptures Together

Both of you could set a goal to read

together every day even just five

minutes from the Book of Mormon

or any other Church book It will

strengthen your relationship andnourish you with the word of God

so you can be ready to face each day

Remember also to pray to God and

ask for His help I know He hears you

and loves you

Laura M 19 Coacuterdoba Argentina

LEARN FROM

YOUR MOTHER

ldquoPlease look to yourfaithful mothers fora pattern to followModel yourselves

after them not after celebritieswhose standards are not the Lordrsquosstandards and whose values maynot reflect an eternal perspectiveLook to your mother Learn fromher strengths her courage andher faithfulness Listen to her She

may not be a whiz at texting shemay not even have a Facebookpage But when it comes to mat-ters of the heart and the thingsof the Lord she has a wealth ofknowledgerdquo

Elder M Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles ldquoMothers and Daughtersrdquo

Ensign May 2010 19

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4852

46 N e w E r a

MISERABLE TOTHE END OFTHE STREET

For one family home evening my

dad wanted to take advantage

of a pause in the rainy weather

to go on a walk around the neighbor-

hood I grumbled and complained

that it was too wet and muddy to

go walking I used the excuse that

I had a ballet recital that week and

didnrsquot want to sprain an ankle but

my dad didnrsquot buy it He insisted thatit was going to be the activity for the

evening I murmured a bit more about

the unfairness and my recital but we

left on the walk anyway

As I glumly stomped outside for

the walk with my family I was deter-

mined not to smile or be happy I

succeeded in feeling miserable until

I N S T A N T M E S S A G E S

we reached the end of the street Then

we turned the corner and I saw in full

force naturersquos beauty and wonder

Before me was a gorgeous sunset

and opposite it was a rainbow arching

above our neighborhood rooftops

I immediately forgot all about being

miserable and looked around in awe

On the way home I said a prayer of

gratitude thanking God for the beautyof His creations I later thanked my

dad for choosing the activity and for

allowing us to enjoy nature for that

family home evening

Jennie H North Carolina USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4952

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 47

STANDARDS AND FRIENDS

Since Irsquove been in school Irsquove had friends who havenrsquot understood the

moral standards of our religion At first it was difficult but over time

my friends have become used to the idea of my being morally clean I

made a goal in my life to be clean and pure and itrsquos worked out well both

for me and for those who used to criticize me Over time respect peace and

joy have become a part of our loving circle of friends

Vitoacuteria M Brazil

A DIFFICULT DECISION

FORGIVINGMY FRIENDS

As the only member of the

Church in my peer group

Irsquove experienced some

instances when my friends have

offended me Sometimes they judge

and criticize my religion I feel so

alone yet Irsquom thankful I know the

standards of the Church

If my friends offend me I try to

humble myself and avoid contention

because I know contention is evil When they start discussing some mat-

ters about the Church I just testify of

my belief in the gospel

I always forgive my friends with or

without their apology Forgiving is not

just about saying ldquoApology acceptedrdquo

or ldquoItrsquos OKrdquo because forgiveness has

a deep meaning Jesus Christ atoned

for our sins so that Heavenly Father

can forgive usEven though my friends donrsquot

understand my faith now I know that

I can be Godrsquos instrument to teach

them the gospel I am helping them

and at the same time I am helping

myself to grow spiritually and prepare

to serve a mission

Joshua V Philippines

As volleyball tryouts approached for my senior year in high

school I couldnrsquot believe the thought that was running through

my head I wasnrsquot supposed to play volleyball Irsquod played vol-

leyball since seventh grademdashwhy should this year be any different

Not seeing the sense in quitting I ignored the feeling and continued

to participate in summer volleyball events After a while the feeling

came back so I decided that if I really wasnrsquot supposed to be on the

team my coach would just cut me during tryouts

Then one night at the gym I couldnrsquot focus on the game at all I felt

terrible and restless inside I came home frustrated with my team and

with myself I sat next to my mom and sister and cried I told them

how confused I was and my mom told me to pray and ask Heavenly

Father what He wanted me to do I went up to my room and began to

pray I told Heavenly Father how I felt then I asked Him to help mefeel peace if I was not supposed to continue playing volleyball I felt

His peace in my heart and knew that I needed to quit

Irsquom still not sure all the reasons why that was the right

decision but I know that itrsquos what the Lord

wanted me to do and thatrsquos a good

enough reason for me

The next morning I told my

coach and my teammates that

I wasnrsquot going to be playing

Even though it was incrediblyhard I knew I was doing

the right thing

Klaire B Arizona USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5052

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5152

you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5252

WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 3952

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 37

their spirits growing and developing I remember

the first time Kate pointed to a picture of the Savior and

said ldquoJesusrdquo I knew then that what I was doing was eter-

nally significant in the lives of my children

The world often tells us that lifersquos rewards come in

the form of status money or grand accomplishments

but I know therersquos great satisfaction even in the small

acts of changing diapers or wiping sticky fingers Every

little thing I do as a mother is part of helping to build the

kingdom of God by nurturing His children I always knew

I wanted children but it was not until I held my first baby

in my arms that I began to realize how much my heart

was capable of loving

The love I have for my daughters has helped me bet-

ter understand how much my Heavenly Father loves all

of His children When speaking of little children Jesustaught that ldquoof such is the kingdom of heavenrdquo (Matthew

1914) More than anything motherhood has helped me

to grow as a daughter of God because now I know what

a daughter of God looks like from the eyes of a parent

The world makes us think that a woman loses herself in

motherhoodmdashshe loses her body her free time and her

career But I have found myself in motherhood I feel

more beautiful and more valuable than ever before NE

Alex Larsen lives in California USA

I love the opportunity to stay home and care for my

young children because these are the most formative

years of their lives I have the opportunity to create a rich

home environment for my girls by reading and discussing

things with them as part of our everyday life Kate will

often astound me by remembering and commenting on

something wersquod read in a book several weeks before and

Annabel learns a new skill almost every day But as fun

and important as it is to watch them learn new

information and skills I feel the

most satisfied when I see

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4052

38 N e w E r a

One o f t h e g r e a t e s t ad v enture s o f y o u r l i f e w i l l b e y our rol e a n d c a l l i n g a s a f a t her

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4152

ROcksROcksROcks

NOTE

1 See Thomas S Monson ldquoWelcome to Conferencerdquo Ensign Nov 2012 4ndash5

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 39

DA D D A DD AD

By Chris Deaver

W

hen I was younger I loved spending time

with my dad He always knew the bestgames to play the best stories to tell at night

and the most interesting sports to try It was

like he was born to be a great dad

Fast-forward my life to when I married my sweetheart

Julia and then even further to the moment that our first

child Daniel was born I was filled with a rush of emo-

tions I was happy shocked amazed and a little scared

I felt totally inadequate to be a father and to have the

responsibility of teaching and being an example to my son

But I quickly realized that Irsquod been preparing all my life tobe a dad When I held my son in my arms for the first time

and looked down into his face I felt the Spirit touch my

heart and I realized that I was ready to try to be a great

dad just like my own dad was to me

When Daniel was very young he already had a great

sense of humor He learned to tell hilarious jokes that

would make my wife and me laugh He also often said

things that inspired us Shortly after hearing President

Thomas S Monson announce the change in age require-

ments for young men and young women preparingto serve missions1 we were driving in the car Daniel

announced that he would start preparing himself right

then at age six so he would have 12 years of preparation

Then he said with a smile ldquoDad can I change the song

from lsquoI Hope They Call Me on a Missionrsquo to lsquoI AM Going on

a Missionrsquordquo It was awesome

WHYbeing a

Three years after Daniel was born he was followed by his

brother Austin For me as a dad itrsquos been great to watch bothboys become best friends And Austin has been just as fun

as Daniel in his own way He enjoys building and destroying

block towers and one of his favorite activities is to fearlessly

wrestle me as if I stand no chance against his four-year-old

powers Of course I give in and let him winmdashso I guess I

reinforce his belief But itrsquos so much fun I know hersquoll be a

great wrestler but what I want most is for him to wrestle

ldquoagainst the rulers of the darkness of this worldrdquo and ldquoagainst

spiritual wickednessrdquo like it says in the scriptures (Ephesians

612) And I hope Irsquom helping to prepare him to do that We just recently had our third child a baby girl named

Faith During the delivery my wife was having some com-

plications and we were scared for our baby I gave Julia

a blessing Then she asked me to sing to her The Spirit

brought peace to both of us Soon baby Faith came safely

into the world It was a miracle and she definitely lived up

to her name Faithrsquos beautiful smile brightens my life I canrsquot

express in words how much she means to me

For any young man still wondering let me tell you You

were born to be a great dad The world may not agree butfatherhood is the best Someday yoursquoll find that your kids

inspire you too and that being a dad is the greatest adven-

ture of your life Yes itrsquos a duty and something you need to

take seriously but being a dad is unlike anything else NE

Chris Deaver lives in Florida USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4252

40 N e w E r a

We always seem to be encouraged to read more

because well everyone knows that reading is a

good thing But not all books are worth reading and just

because sexual material is written about rather than pho-

tographed or video recorded doesnrsquot mean that itrsquos less

morally hazardous Making a common display of a sacred

intimacy thatrsquos intended to only be part of a marriage rela-

tionship is wrongmdashwhether in words or imagesIf something yoursquore reading contains explicit sexual

descriptions that imprint themselves on your mind and

arouse sexual feelings in the same way that looking at

pornographic images would then guess what Itrsquos pornog-

raphy Remember the counsel in For the Strength of Youth

ldquoChoose wisely when using media because whatever you

read listen to or look at has an effect on you Select only

media that uplifts yourdquo ([2011] 11) NE

T O T H E P O I N T

President Boyd K

Packer President of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoEach

of us must come to ourown personal testimony

of the Lord Jesus Christ

We then share that testi-

mony with our family and

othersrdquo1 It can sometimes

be easy to question the

depth of your testimony

I know looking at pornographic

pictures is wrong but whatabout reading books with

ldquoromanticrdquo scenes

If I donrsquot have a burning

desire to share thegospel does that mean I

donrsquot have a testimony

when you compare your-

self to people like Brigham

Young who once said ldquoI

wanted to thunder and

roar out the gospel to thenations It burned in my

bones like fire pent uprdquo2

So what if you donrsquot feel

fire in your bones

Hopefully your lack of

desire doesnrsquot come from

a lack of concern for your

fellowmen As your faith in

Jesus Christ grows so does

your love of all people a

love that is a mark of the

true followers of Christ (see

Moroni 748 John 1335)

Itrsquos likely however

that your hesitancy sim-

ply comes from fear and

anxiety about speaking toothers For many people

such feelings can be over-

whelming Even prophets

have had doubts about their

ability to speak to people

(see Exodus 410 Moses

631) They of course

had no reason to question

their testimoniesmdashand

neither should you if you

are studying the scriptures

pondering praying fasting

repenting and doing all the

other things that help bring

the Spirit into your life

If you feel you just

need a little extra cour-age to share the gos-

pel visit ldsorggo

shareNE8 for ideas NE

NOTES

1 Boyd K Packer ldquoThe Witnessrdquo Ensign May 2014 96

2 Teachings of Presidents ofthe Church Brigham Young (1997) viii

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4352

C O M E F O L L O W M E

Family

983152983137tter983150 of

President Boyd K PackerPresident of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

April 2014 general conference

The ultimate end

of all activity in

the Church is that

a man and his wife

and their childrencan be happy

at home

The FamilyYoursquoll be studying about the family in your Sunday classes

this month As you study and discuss family you may pon-der these questions Why do Church leaders emphasize

family so much What is the place of family in Heavenly

Fatherrsquos plan How does family help make us happy

To find some answers to these questions see the

family proclamation near the back of your Personal

Progress or Duty to God booklet or online at ldsorg

gofamilyNE8 Yoursquoll also find teachings about

family relationships in general conference talks at

conferenceldsorg

Give yourself an easy reminder to prepare for your

Sunday lessons on the family Just place these cards

in your scriptures locker or bedroom You can also

download or share them online at ldsorggocardsNE8 B A C K G R O U N D T E X T U R E

B Y I S T O C K P H O T O T H I N K S T O C K

We 983150eed We 983150eed

MOR E

983155tre983150983143the983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

RELATIONSHIPS

983153u983137lity 983153u983137lity TIME amp EFFORT INTO

TO PUT

983155re983150983143te983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4452

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4552

T H E E X T R A S M I L E

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 43

I dont like to pack so I rsquo m just wearing all my stuff

JON CLARK

W h a t m a k e s y o

u t h i n k

D a d rsquo s t a l k i n g t o

t h e

p r o p h e t

B ecaus e h e s ai d h e w as on a conf er ence cal l

RYAN STOKER

F r o m n o w o n j u s t t a k e

a p i c t u r e o f t h e t o o t h a n

d

u p l o a d i t t o m y F a c e b o o k

p a g e

a n d t h e n I rsquo l l s e n d y o u t h e

m o n e y t h r o u g h P a y P a l

RANDY GLASBERGEN

[Gasp] He he made h is bed this morning

And I didnrsquo t even ask

VAL CHADWICK BAGLEY

Who says there arenrsquo t modern m iracles

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4652

44 N e w E r a

ldquoMymom works

Since you donrsquot see your mom often make sure that

the time you do have together is used well You

could talk to your mom about how to do this She

wants a good relationship with you too and will

help you work on it Try asking her what she would

appreciate coming home to a clean house doing an activity

together just talking with you As you regularly do activities your mom appreciates your relationship will improve

Of course you could plan some fun activities to do together

but any meaningful time togethermdashsuch as washing the dishes

or reading the scripturesmdashcan be a great way to build your

relationship

Also plan time for communication Understanding one

another is a key ingredient in good relationships One thing

to discuss is how your momrsquos work schedule will affect your

relationship with her You can avoid misunderstandings if you

talk about your expectations as well as your momrsquosPrayer will help Families are important to Heavenly Father

so He can inspire you to know how to improve your relation-

ship with your mom Donrsquot ignore a prompting to do something

that seems small (see Alma 376) A hug and a smile for exam-

ple can make a big difference NE

Write a Note

Even if you have very

little time together you

can still express your

love to your mother

Write her thoughtful secret notes As

she reads them at work she will think

of you Do as much as you can for

her Think about her more often and

pray for her Ask the Lord to inspire

you and prompt you regarding how

you can improve your relationship Irinka E 20 Odessa Ukraine

Seek to Understand Her

Try to understand her situation

because she works for your benefit

You can begin by helping with things

at home like cleaning the house

helping your siblings and cooking

You also can share scriptures with

your mom pray together and doactivities that you like to do together

Morony M 18 Chihuahua Mexico

Have a Special Sunday

On some Sundays we

have a special lunch

or dinner with a new

dessert we talk and at

the end we sing hymns This brings

us together and helps us be betterfriends

Rebeca N 12 Satildeo Paulo Brazil

Try an Experiment

We arrange time to be together hav-

ing family home evening playing

games going to the beach having

lunch together All of this helps to

Q U E S T I O N S amp A N S W E R S

all day Howcan I improve our

relationshiprdquo

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4752

keep the flame of a good relationship

alive When we disagree we avoid

criticizing I know that sometimes I

ask not to do housework but this

contributes to disharmony in the

home Since I began this experiment

mdashcomplaining less lowering my

voice helping more with housework

and talking more with my mothermdash

a sweet spirit has developed in our

home and we cooperate more

Glenda C 18 Bahia Brazil

Help at Home

Do some extra chores

around the house Your

mom has been work-

ing all day If she has

less work to do when she gets home

shersquoll probably be happier and have

more time to talk and do things with

you While you are talking you canask about her day at work It will

show her that you care and it will

open doors for other topics of discus-

sion allowing you to grow closer

Heather B 18 Oregon USA

Find Something You BothLike to Do

My mumrsquos relationship with me

skyrocketed when I said ldquoI want tospend more time with you but I donrsquot

know what to do or when to do itrdquo

Playing board games happens to be

our favorite pastime So we set aside

a time together to play laugh and

make memories When you are open

with your parents eventually they

become your best companions You

UPCOMING QUESTION

ldquoMy parents just

got divorced Irsquom angry that they

have broken up our

family How doI forgive themrdquo

Send your answer and photo by

September 15 2014

Go to neweraldsorg click ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo enter your LDS Accountand then select ldquoNew Erardquo

Responses may be edited for length

or clarity

Responses are intended for help and per-

spective not as official pronouncements ofChurch doctrine

will be able to talk to them about

anything and you will be sure of an

honest answer That is the sign of a

mature relationship

Ephraim S 15 New South Wales Australia

Read Scriptures Together

Both of you could set a goal to read

together every day even just five

minutes from the Book of Mormon

or any other Church book It will

strengthen your relationship andnourish you with the word of God

so you can be ready to face each day

Remember also to pray to God and

ask for His help I know He hears you

and loves you

Laura M 19 Coacuterdoba Argentina

LEARN FROM

YOUR MOTHER

ldquoPlease look to yourfaithful mothers fora pattern to followModel yourselves

after them not after celebritieswhose standards are not the Lordrsquosstandards and whose values maynot reflect an eternal perspectiveLook to your mother Learn fromher strengths her courage andher faithfulness Listen to her She

may not be a whiz at texting shemay not even have a Facebookpage But when it comes to mat-ters of the heart and the thingsof the Lord she has a wealth ofknowledgerdquo

Elder M Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles ldquoMothers and Daughtersrdquo

Ensign May 2010 19

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4852

46 N e w E r a

MISERABLE TOTHE END OFTHE STREET

For one family home evening my

dad wanted to take advantage

of a pause in the rainy weather

to go on a walk around the neighbor-

hood I grumbled and complained

that it was too wet and muddy to

go walking I used the excuse that

I had a ballet recital that week and

didnrsquot want to sprain an ankle but

my dad didnrsquot buy it He insisted thatit was going to be the activity for the

evening I murmured a bit more about

the unfairness and my recital but we

left on the walk anyway

As I glumly stomped outside for

the walk with my family I was deter-

mined not to smile or be happy I

succeeded in feeling miserable until

I N S T A N T M E S S A G E S

we reached the end of the street Then

we turned the corner and I saw in full

force naturersquos beauty and wonder

Before me was a gorgeous sunset

and opposite it was a rainbow arching

above our neighborhood rooftops

I immediately forgot all about being

miserable and looked around in awe

On the way home I said a prayer of

gratitude thanking God for the beautyof His creations I later thanked my

dad for choosing the activity and for

allowing us to enjoy nature for that

family home evening

Jennie H North Carolina USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4952

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 47

STANDARDS AND FRIENDS

Since Irsquove been in school Irsquove had friends who havenrsquot understood the

moral standards of our religion At first it was difficult but over time

my friends have become used to the idea of my being morally clean I

made a goal in my life to be clean and pure and itrsquos worked out well both

for me and for those who used to criticize me Over time respect peace and

joy have become a part of our loving circle of friends

Vitoacuteria M Brazil

A DIFFICULT DECISION

FORGIVINGMY FRIENDS

As the only member of the

Church in my peer group

Irsquove experienced some

instances when my friends have

offended me Sometimes they judge

and criticize my religion I feel so

alone yet Irsquom thankful I know the

standards of the Church

If my friends offend me I try to

humble myself and avoid contention

because I know contention is evil When they start discussing some mat-

ters about the Church I just testify of

my belief in the gospel

I always forgive my friends with or

without their apology Forgiving is not

just about saying ldquoApology acceptedrdquo

or ldquoItrsquos OKrdquo because forgiveness has

a deep meaning Jesus Christ atoned

for our sins so that Heavenly Father

can forgive usEven though my friends donrsquot

understand my faith now I know that

I can be Godrsquos instrument to teach

them the gospel I am helping them

and at the same time I am helping

myself to grow spiritually and prepare

to serve a mission

Joshua V Philippines

As volleyball tryouts approached for my senior year in high

school I couldnrsquot believe the thought that was running through

my head I wasnrsquot supposed to play volleyball Irsquod played vol-

leyball since seventh grademdashwhy should this year be any different

Not seeing the sense in quitting I ignored the feeling and continued

to participate in summer volleyball events After a while the feeling

came back so I decided that if I really wasnrsquot supposed to be on the

team my coach would just cut me during tryouts

Then one night at the gym I couldnrsquot focus on the game at all I felt

terrible and restless inside I came home frustrated with my team and

with myself I sat next to my mom and sister and cried I told them

how confused I was and my mom told me to pray and ask Heavenly

Father what He wanted me to do I went up to my room and began to

pray I told Heavenly Father how I felt then I asked Him to help mefeel peace if I was not supposed to continue playing volleyball I felt

His peace in my heart and knew that I needed to quit

Irsquom still not sure all the reasons why that was the right

decision but I know that itrsquos what the Lord

wanted me to do and thatrsquos a good

enough reason for me

The next morning I told my

coach and my teammates that

I wasnrsquot going to be playing

Even though it was incrediblyhard I knew I was doing

the right thing

Klaire B Arizona USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5052

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5152

you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5252

WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4052

38 N e w E r a

One o f t h e g r e a t e s t ad v enture s o f y o u r l i f e w i l l b e y our rol e a n d c a l l i n g a s a f a t her

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4152

ROcksROcksROcks

NOTE

1 See Thomas S Monson ldquoWelcome to Conferencerdquo Ensign Nov 2012 4ndash5

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 39

DA D D A DD AD

By Chris Deaver

W

hen I was younger I loved spending time

with my dad He always knew the bestgames to play the best stories to tell at night

and the most interesting sports to try It was

like he was born to be a great dad

Fast-forward my life to when I married my sweetheart

Julia and then even further to the moment that our first

child Daniel was born I was filled with a rush of emo-

tions I was happy shocked amazed and a little scared

I felt totally inadequate to be a father and to have the

responsibility of teaching and being an example to my son

But I quickly realized that Irsquod been preparing all my life tobe a dad When I held my son in my arms for the first time

and looked down into his face I felt the Spirit touch my

heart and I realized that I was ready to try to be a great

dad just like my own dad was to me

When Daniel was very young he already had a great

sense of humor He learned to tell hilarious jokes that

would make my wife and me laugh He also often said

things that inspired us Shortly after hearing President

Thomas S Monson announce the change in age require-

ments for young men and young women preparingto serve missions1 we were driving in the car Daniel

announced that he would start preparing himself right

then at age six so he would have 12 years of preparation

Then he said with a smile ldquoDad can I change the song

from lsquoI Hope They Call Me on a Missionrsquo to lsquoI AM Going on

a Missionrsquordquo It was awesome

WHYbeing a

Three years after Daniel was born he was followed by his

brother Austin For me as a dad itrsquos been great to watch bothboys become best friends And Austin has been just as fun

as Daniel in his own way He enjoys building and destroying

block towers and one of his favorite activities is to fearlessly

wrestle me as if I stand no chance against his four-year-old

powers Of course I give in and let him winmdashso I guess I

reinforce his belief But itrsquos so much fun I know hersquoll be a

great wrestler but what I want most is for him to wrestle

ldquoagainst the rulers of the darkness of this worldrdquo and ldquoagainst

spiritual wickednessrdquo like it says in the scriptures (Ephesians

612) And I hope Irsquom helping to prepare him to do that We just recently had our third child a baby girl named

Faith During the delivery my wife was having some com-

plications and we were scared for our baby I gave Julia

a blessing Then she asked me to sing to her The Spirit

brought peace to both of us Soon baby Faith came safely

into the world It was a miracle and she definitely lived up

to her name Faithrsquos beautiful smile brightens my life I canrsquot

express in words how much she means to me

For any young man still wondering let me tell you You

were born to be a great dad The world may not agree butfatherhood is the best Someday yoursquoll find that your kids

inspire you too and that being a dad is the greatest adven-

ture of your life Yes itrsquos a duty and something you need to

take seriously but being a dad is unlike anything else NE

Chris Deaver lives in Florida USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4252

40 N e w E r a

We always seem to be encouraged to read more

because well everyone knows that reading is a

good thing But not all books are worth reading and just

because sexual material is written about rather than pho-

tographed or video recorded doesnrsquot mean that itrsquos less

morally hazardous Making a common display of a sacred

intimacy thatrsquos intended to only be part of a marriage rela-

tionship is wrongmdashwhether in words or imagesIf something yoursquore reading contains explicit sexual

descriptions that imprint themselves on your mind and

arouse sexual feelings in the same way that looking at

pornographic images would then guess what Itrsquos pornog-

raphy Remember the counsel in For the Strength of Youth

ldquoChoose wisely when using media because whatever you

read listen to or look at has an effect on you Select only

media that uplifts yourdquo ([2011] 11) NE

T O T H E P O I N T

President Boyd K

Packer President of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoEach

of us must come to ourown personal testimony

of the Lord Jesus Christ

We then share that testi-

mony with our family and

othersrdquo1 It can sometimes

be easy to question the

depth of your testimony

I know looking at pornographic

pictures is wrong but whatabout reading books with

ldquoromanticrdquo scenes

If I donrsquot have a burning

desire to share thegospel does that mean I

donrsquot have a testimony

when you compare your-

self to people like Brigham

Young who once said ldquoI

wanted to thunder and

roar out the gospel to thenations It burned in my

bones like fire pent uprdquo2

So what if you donrsquot feel

fire in your bones

Hopefully your lack of

desire doesnrsquot come from

a lack of concern for your

fellowmen As your faith in

Jesus Christ grows so does

your love of all people a

love that is a mark of the

true followers of Christ (see

Moroni 748 John 1335)

Itrsquos likely however

that your hesitancy sim-

ply comes from fear and

anxiety about speaking toothers For many people

such feelings can be over-

whelming Even prophets

have had doubts about their

ability to speak to people

(see Exodus 410 Moses

631) They of course

had no reason to question

their testimoniesmdashand

neither should you if you

are studying the scriptures

pondering praying fasting

repenting and doing all the

other things that help bring

the Spirit into your life

If you feel you just

need a little extra cour-age to share the gos-

pel visit ldsorggo

shareNE8 for ideas NE

NOTES

1 Boyd K Packer ldquoThe Witnessrdquo Ensign May 2014 96

2 Teachings of Presidents ofthe Church Brigham Young (1997) viii

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4352

C O M E F O L L O W M E

Family

983152983137tter983150 of

President Boyd K PackerPresident of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

April 2014 general conference

The ultimate end

of all activity in

the Church is that

a man and his wife

and their childrencan be happy

at home

The FamilyYoursquoll be studying about the family in your Sunday classes

this month As you study and discuss family you may pon-der these questions Why do Church leaders emphasize

family so much What is the place of family in Heavenly

Fatherrsquos plan How does family help make us happy

To find some answers to these questions see the

family proclamation near the back of your Personal

Progress or Duty to God booklet or online at ldsorg

gofamilyNE8 Yoursquoll also find teachings about

family relationships in general conference talks at

conferenceldsorg

Give yourself an easy reminder to prepare for your

Sunday lessons on the family Just place these cards

in your scriptures locker or bedroom You can also

download or share them online at ldsorggocardsNE8 B A C K G R O U N D T E X T U R E

B Y I S T O C K P H O T O T H I N K S T O C K

We 983150eed We 983150eed

MOR E

983155tre983150983143the983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

RELATIONSHIPS

983153u983137lity 983153u983137lity TIME amp EFFORT INTO

TO PUT

983155re983150983143te983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4452

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4552

T H E E X T R A S M I L E

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 43

I dont like to pack so I rsquo m just wearing all my stuff

JON CLARK

W h a t m a k e s y o

u t h i n k

D a d rsquo s t a l k i n g t o

t h e

p r o p h e t

B ecaus e h e s ai d h e w as on a conf er ence cal l

RYAN STOKER

F r o m n o w o n j u s t t a k e

a p i c t u r e o f t h e t o o t h a n

d

u p l o a d i t t o m y F a c e b o o k

p a g e

a n d t h e n I rsquo l l s e n d y o u t h e

m o n e y t h r o u g h P a y P a l

RANDY GLASBERGEN

[Gasp] He he made h is bed this morning

And I didnrsquo t even ask

VAL CHADWICK BAGLEY

Who says there arenrsquo t modern m iracles

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4652

44 N e w E r a

ldquoMymom works

Since you donrsquot see your mom often make sure that

the time you do have together is used well You

could talk to your mom about how to do this She

wants a good relationship with you too and will

help you work on it Try asking her what she would

appreciate coming home to a clean house doing an activity

together just talking with you As you regularly do activities your mom appreciates your relationship will improve

Of course you could plan some fun activities to do together

but any meaningful time togethermdashsuch as washing the dishes

or reading the scripturesmdashcan be a great way to build your

relationship

Also plan time for communication Understanding one

another is a key ingredient in good relationships One thing

to discuss is how your momrsquos work schedule will affect your

relationship with her You can avoid misunderstandings if you

talk about your expectations as well as your momrsquosPrayer will help Families are important to Heavenly Father

so He can inspire you to know how to improve your relation-

ship with your mom Donrsquot ignore a prompting to do something

that seems small (see Alma 376) A hug and a smile for exam-

ple can make a big difference NE

Write a Note

Even if you have very

little time together you

can still express your

love to your mother

Write her thoughtful secret notes As

she reads them at work she will think

of you Do as much as you can for

her Think about her more often and

pray for her Ask the Lord to inspire

you and prompt you regarding how

you can improve your relationship Irinka E 20 Odessa Ukraine

Seek to Understand Her

Try to understand her situation

because she works for your benefit

You can begin by helping with things

at home like cleaning the house

helping your siblings and cooking

You also can share scriptures with

your mom pray together and doactivities that you like to do together

Morony M 18 Chihuahua Mexico

Have a Special Sunday

On some Sundays we

have a special lunch

or dinner with a new

dessert we talk and at

the end we sing hymns This brings

us together and helps us be betterfriends

Rebeca N 12 Satildeo Paulo Brazil

Try an Experiment

We arrange time to be together hav-

ing family home evening playing

games going to the beach having

lunch together All of this helps to

Q U E S T I O N S amp A N S W E R S

all day Howcan I improve our

relationshiprdquo

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4752

keep the flame of a good relationship

alive When we disagree we avoid

criticizing I know that sometimes I

ask not to do housework but this

contributes to disharmony in the

home Since I began this experiment

mdashcomplaining less lowering my

voice helping more with housework

and talking more with my mothermdash

a sweet spirit has developed in our

home and we cooperate more

Glenda C 18 Bahia Brazil

Help at Home

Do some extra chores

around the house Your

mom has been work-

ing all day If she has

less work to do when she gets home

shersquoll probably be happier and have

more time to talk and do things with

you While you are talking you canask about her day at work It will

show her that you care and it will

open doors for other topics of discus-

sion allowing you to grow closer

Heather B 18 Oregon USA

Find Something You BothLike to Do

My mumrsquos relationship with me

skyrocketed when I said ldquoI want tospend more time with you but I donrsquot

know what to do or when to do itrdquo

Playing board games happens to be

our favorite pastime So we set aside

a time together to play laugh and

make memories When you are open

with your parents eventually they

become your best companions You

UPCOMING QUESTION

ldquoMy parents just

got divorced Irsquom angry that they

have broken up our

family How doI forgive themrdquo

Send your answer and photo by

September 15 2014

Go to neweraldsorg click ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo enter your LDS Accountand then select ldquoNew Erardquo

Responses may be edited for length

or clarity

Responses are intended for help and per-

spective not as official pronouncements ofChurch doctrine

will be able to talk to them about

anything and you will be sure of an

honest answer That is the sign of a

mature relationship

Ephraim S 15 New South Wales Australia

Read Scriptures Together

Both of you could set a goal to read

together every day even just five

minutes from the Book of Mormon

or any other Church book It will

strengthen your relationship andnourish you with the word of God

so you can be ready to face each day

Remember also to pray to God and

ask for His help I know He hears you

and loves you

Laura M 19 Coacuterdoba Argentina

LEARN FROM

YOUR MOTHER

ldquoPlease look to yourfaithful mothers fora pattern to followModel yourselves

after them not after celebritieswhose standards are not the Lordrsquosstandards and whose values maynot reflect an eternal perspectiveLook to your mother Learn fromher strengths her courage andher faithfulness Listen to her She

may not be a whiz at texting shemay not even have a Facebookpage But when it comes to mat-ters of the heart and the thingsof the Lord she has a wealth ofknowledgerdquo

Elder M Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles ldquoMothers and Daughtersrdquo

Ensign May 2010 19

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4852

46 N e w E r a

MISERABLE TOTHE END OFTHE STREET

For one family home evening my

dad wanted to take advantage

of a pause in the rainy weather

to go on a walk around the neighbor-

hood I grumbled and complained

that it was too wet and muddy to

go walking I used the excuse that

I had a ballet recital that week and

didnrsquot want to sprain an ankle but

my dad didnrsquot buy it He insisted thatit was going to be the activity for the

evening I murmured a bit more about

the unfairness and my recital but we

left on the walk anyway

As I glumly stomped outside for

the walk with my family I was deter-

mined not to smile or be happy I

succeeded in feeling miserable until

I N S T A N T M E S S A G E S

we reached the end of the street Then

we turned the corner and I saw in full

force naturersquos beauty and wonder

Before me was a gorgeous sunset

and opposite it was a rainbow arching

above our neighborhood rooftops

I immediately forgot all about being

miserable and looked around in awe

On the way home I said a prayer of

gratitude thanking God for the beautyof His creations I later thanked my

dad for choosing the activity and for

allowing us to enjoy nature for that

family home evening

Jennie H North Carolina USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4952

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 47

STANDARDS AND FRIENDS

Since Irsquove been in school Irsquove had friends who havenrsquot understood the

moral standards of our religion At first it was difficult but over time

my friends have become used to the idea of my being morally clean I

made a goal in my life to be clean and pure and itrsquos worked out well both

for me and for those who used to criticize me Over time respect peace and

joy have become a part of our loving circle of friends

Vitoacuteria M Brazil

A DIFFICULT DECISION

FORGIVINGMY FRIENDS

As the only member of the

Church in my peer group

Irsquove experienced some

instances when my friends have

offended me Sometimes they judge

and criticize my religion I feel so

alone yet Irsquom thankful I know the

standards of the Church

If my friends offend me I try to

humble myself and avoid contention

because I know contention is evil When they start discussing some mat-

ters about the Church I just testify of

my belief in the gospel

I always forgive my friends with or

without their apology Forgiving is not

just about saying ldquoApology acceptedrdquo

or ldquoItrsquos OKrdquo because forgiveness has

a deep meaning Jesus Christ atoned

for our sins so that Heavenly Father

can forgive usEven though my friends donrsquot

understand my faith now I know that

I can be Godrsquos instrument to teach

them the gospel I am helping them

and at the same time I am helping

myself to grow spiritually and prepare

to serve a mission

Joshua V Philippines

As volleyball tryouts approached for my senior year in high

school I couldnrsquot believe the thought that was running through

my head I wasnrsquot supposed to play volleyball Irsquod played vol-

leyball since seventh grademdashwhy should this year be any different

Not seeing the sense in quitting I ignored the feeling and continued

to participate in summer volleyball events After a while the feeling

came back so I decided that if I really wasnrsquot supposed to be on the

team my coach would just cut me during tryouts

Then one night at the gym I couldnrsquot focus on the game at all I felt

terrible and restless inside I came home frustrated with my team and

with myself I sat next to my mom and sister and cried I told them

how confused I was and my mom told me to pray and ask Heavenly

Father what He wanted me to do I went up to my room and began to

pray I told Heavenly Father how I felt then I asked Him to help mefeel peace if I was not supposed to continue playing volleyball I felt

His peace in my heart and knew that I needed to quit

Irsquom still not sure all the reasons why that was the right

decision but I know that itrsquos what the Lord

wanted me to do and thatrsquos a good

enough reason for me

The next morning I told my

coach and my teammates that

I wasnrsquot going to be playing

Even though it was incrediblyhard I knew I was doing

the right thing

Klaire B Arizona USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5052

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5152

you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5252

WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4152

ROcksROcksROcks

NOTE

1 See Thomas S Monson ldquoWelcome to Conferencerdquo Ensign Nov 2012 4ndash5

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 39

DA D D A DD AD

By Chris Deaver

W

hen I was younger I loved spending time

with my dad He always knew the bestgames to play the best stories to tell at night

and the most interesting sports to try It was

like he was born to be a great dad

Fast-forward my life to when I married my sweetheart

Julia and then even further to the moment that our first

child Daniel was born I was filled with a rush of emo-

tions I was happy shocked amazed and a little scared

I felt totally inadequate to be a father and to have the

responsibility of teaching and being an example to my son

But I quickly realized that Irsquod been preparing all my life tobe a dad When I held my son in my arms for the first time

and looked down into his face I felt the Spirit touch my

heart and I realized that I was ready to try to be a great

dad just like my own dad was to me

When Daniel was very young he already had a great

sense of humor He learned to tell hilarious jokes that

would make my wife and me laugh He also often said

things that inspired us Shortly after hearing President

Thomas S Monson announce the change in age require-

ments for young men and young women preparingto serve missions1 we were driving in the car Daniel

announced that he would start preparing himself right

then at age six so he would have 12 years of preparation

Then he said with a smile ldquoDad can I change the song

from lsquoI Hope They Call Me on a Missionrsquo to lsquoI AM Going on

a Missionrsquordquo It was awesome

WHYbeing a

Three years after Daniel was born he was followed by his

brother Austin For me as a dad itrsquos been great to watch bothboys become best friends And Austin has been just as fun

as Daniel in his own way He enjoys building and destroying

block towers and one of his favorite activities is to fearlessly

wrestle me as if I stand no chance against his four-year-old

powers Of course I give in and let him winmdashso I guess I

reinforce his belief But itrsquos so much fun I know hersquoll be a

great wrestler but what I want most is for him to wrestle

ldquoagainst the rulers of the darkness of this worldrdquo and ldquoagainst

spiritual wickednessrdquo like it says in the scriptures (Ephesians

612) And I hope Irsquom helping to prepare him to do that We just recently had our third child a baby girl named

Faith During the delivery my wife was having some com-

plications and we were scared for our baby I gave Julia

a blessing Then she asked me to sing to her The Spirit

brought peace to both of us Soon baby Faith came safely

into the world It was a miracle and she definitely lived up

to her name Faithrsquos beautiful smile brightens my life I canrsquot

express in words how much she means to me

For any young man still wondering let me tell you You

were born to be a great dad The world may not agree butfatherhood is the best Someday yoursquoll find that your kids

inspire you too and that being a dad is the greatest adven-

ture of your life Yes itrsquos a duty and something you need to

take seriously but being a dad is unlike anything else NE

Chris Deaver lives in Florida USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4252

40 N e w E r a

We always seem to be encouraged to read more

because well everyone knows that reading is a

good thing But not all books are worth reading and just

because sexual material is written about rather than pho-

tographed or video recorded doesnrsquot mean that itrsquos less

morally hazardous Making a common display of a sacred

intimacy thatrsquos intended to only be part of a marriage rela-

tionship is wrongmdashwhether in words or imagesIf something yoursquore reading contains explicit sexual

descriptions that imprint themselves on your mind and

arouse sexual feelings in the same way that looking at

pornographic images would then guess what Itrsquos pornog-

raphy Remember the counsel in For the Strength of Youth

ldquoChoose wisely when using media because whatever you

read listen to or look at has an effect on you Select only

media that uplifts yourdquo ([2011] 11) NE

T O T H E P O I N T

President Boyd K

Packer President of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoEach

of us must come to ourown personal testimony

of the Lord Jesus Christ

We then share that testi-

mony with our family and

othersrdquo1 It can sometimes

be easy to question the

depth of your testimony

I know looking at pornographic

pictures is wrong but whatabout reading books with

ldquoromanticrdquo scenes

If I donrsquot have a burning

desire to share thegospel does that mean I

donrsquot have a testimony

when you compare your-

self to people like Brigham

Young who once said ldquoI

wanted to thunder and

roar out the gospel to thenations It burned in my

bones like fire pent uprdquo2

So what if you donrsquot feel

fire in your bones

Hopefully your lack of

desire doesnrsquot come from

a lack of concern for your

fellowmen As your faith in

Jesus Christ grows so does

your love of all people a

love that is a mark of the

true followers of Christ (see

Moroni 748 John 1335)

Itrsquos likely however

that your hesitancy sim-

ply comes from fear and

anxiety about speaking toothers For many people

such feelings can be over-

whelming Even prophets

have had doubts about their

ability to speak to people

(see Exodus 410 Moses

631) They of course

had no reason to question

their testimoniesmdashand

neither should you if you

are studying the scriptures

pondering praying fasting

repenting and doing all the

other things that help bring

the Spirit into your life

If you feel you just

need a little extra cour-age to share the gos-

pel visit ldsorggo

shareNE8 for ideas NE

NOTES

1 Boyd K Packer ldquoThe Witnessrdquo Ensign May 2014 96

2 Teachings of Presidents ofthe Church Brigham Young (1997) viii

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4352

C O M E F O L L O W M E

Family

983152983137tter983150 of

President Boyd K PackerPresident of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

April 2014 general conference

The ultimate end

of all activity in

the Church is that

a man and his wife

and their childrencan be happy

at home

The FamilyYoursquoll be studying about the family in your Sunday classes

this month As you study and discuss family you may pon-der these questions Why do Church leaders emphasize

family so much What is the place of family in Heavenly

Fatherrsquos plan How does family help make us happy

To find some answers to these questions see the

family proclamation near the back of your Personal

Progress or Duty to God booklet or online at ldsorg

gofamilyNE8 Yoursquoll also find teachings about

family relationships in general conference talks at

conferenceldsorg

Give yourself an easy reminder to prepare for your

Sunday lessons on the family Just place these cards

in your scriptures locker or bedroom You can also

download or share them online at ldsorggocardsNE8 B A C K G R O U N D T E X T U R E

B Y I S T O C K P H O T O T H I N K S T O C K

We 983150eed We 983150eed

MOR E

983155tre983150983143the983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

RELATIONSHIPS

983153u983137lity 983153u983137lity TIME amp EFFORT INTO

TO PUT

983155re983150983143te983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4452

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4552

T H E E X T R A S M I L E

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 43

I dont like to pack so I rsquo m just wearing all my stuff

JON CLARK

W h a t m a k e s y o

u t h i n k

D a d rsquo s t a l k i n g t o

t h e

p r o p h e t

B ecaus e h e s ai d h e w as on a conf er ence cal l

RYAN STOKER

F r o m n o w o n j u s t t a k e

a p i c t u r e o f t h e t o o t h a n

d

u p l o a d i t t o m y F a c e b o o k

p a g e

a n d t h e n I rsquo l l s e n d y o u t h e

m o n e y t h r o u g h P a y P a l

RANDY GLASBERGEN

[Gasp] He he made h is bed this morning

And I didnrsquo t even ask

VAL CHADWICK BAGLEY

Who says there arenrsquo t modern m iracles

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4652

44 N e w E r a

ldquoMymom works

Since you donrsquot see your mom often make sure that

the time you do have together is used well You

could talk to your mom about how to do this She

wants a good relationship with you too and will

help you work on it Try asking her what she would

appreciate coming home to a clean house doing an activity

together just talking with you As you regularly do activities your mom appreciates your relationship will improve

Of course you could plan some fun activities to do together

but any meaningful time togethermdashsuch as washing the dishes

or reading the scripturesmdashcan be a great way to build your

relationship

Also plan time for communication Understanding one

another is a key ingredient in good relationships One thing

to discuss is how your momrsquos work schedule will affect your

relationship with her You can avoid misunderstandings if you

talk about your expectations as well as your momrsquosPrayer will help Families are important to Heavenly Father

so He can inspire you to know how to improve your relation-

ship with your mom Donrsquot ignore a prompting to do something

that seems small (see Alma 376) A hug and a smile for exam-

ple can make a big difference NE

Write a Note

Even if you have very

little time together you

can still express your

love to your mother

Write her thoughtful secret notes As

she reads them at work she will think

of you Do as much as you can for

her Think about her more often and

pray for her Ask the Lord to inspire

you and prompt you regarding how

you can improve your relationship Irinka E 20 Odessa Ukraine

Seek to Understand Her

Try to understand her situation

because she works for your benefit

You can begin by helping with things

at home like cleaning the house

helping your siblings and cooking

You also can share scriptures with

your mom pray together and doactivities that you like to do together

Morony M 18 Chihuahua Mexico

Have a Special Sunday

On some Sundays we

have a special lunch

or dinner with a new

dessert we talk and at

the end we sing hymns This brings

us together and helps us be betterfriends

Rebeca N 12 Satildeo Paulo Brazil

Try an Experiment

We arrange time to be together hav-

ing family home evening playing

games going to the beach having

lunch together All of this helps to

Q U E S T I O N S amp A N S W E R S

all day Howcan I improve our

relationshiprdquo

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4752

keep the flame of a good relationship

alive When we disagree we avoid

criticizing I know that sometimes I

ask not to do housework but this

contributes to disharmony in the

home Since I began this experiment

mdashcomplaining less lowering my

voice helping more with housework

and talking more with my mothermdash

a sweet spirit has developed in our

home and we cooperate more

Glenda C 18 Bahia Brazil

Help at Home

Do some extra chores

around the house Your

mom has been work-

ing all day If she has

less work to do when she gets home

shersquoll probably be happier and have

more time to talk and do things with

you While you are talking you canask about her day at work It will

show her that you care and it will

open doors for other topics of discus-

sion allowing you to grow closer

Heather B 18 Oregon USA

Find Something You BothLike to Do

My mumrsquos relationship with me

skyrocketed when I said ldquoI want tospend more time with you but I donrsquot

know what to do or when to do itrdquo

Playing board games happens to be

our favorite pastime So we set aside

a time together to play laugh and

make memories When you are open

with your parents eventually they

become your best companions You

UPCOMING QUESTION

ldquoMy parents just

got divorced Irsquom angry that they

have broken up our

family How doI forgive themrdquo

Send your answer and photo by

September 15 2014

Go to neweraldsorg click ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo enter your LDS Accountand then select ldquoNew Erardquo

Responses may be edited for length

or clarity

Responses are intended for help and per-

spective not as official pronouncements ofChurch doctrine

will be able to talk to them about

anything and you will be sure of an

honest answer That is the sign of a

mature relationship

Ephraim S 15 New South Wales Australia

Read Scriptures Together

Both of you could set a goal to read

together every day even just five

minutes from the Book of Mormon

or any other Church book It will

strengthen your relationship andnourish you with the word of God

so you can be ready to face each day

Remember also to pray to God and

ask for His help I know He hears you

and loves you

Laura M 19 Coacuterdoba Argentina

LEARN FROM

YOUR MOTHER

ldquoPlease look to yourfaithful mothers fora pattern to followModel yourselves

after them not after celebritieswhose standards are not the Lordrsquosstandards and whose values maynot reflect an eternal perspectiveLook to your mother Learn fromher strengths her courage andher faithfulness Listen to her She

may not be a whiz at texting shemay not even have a Facebookpage But when it comes to mat-ters of the heart and the thingsof the Lord she has a wealth ofknowledgerdquo

Elder M Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles ldquoMothers and Daughtersrdquo

Ensign May 2010 19

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4852

46 N e w E r a

MISERABLE TOTHE END OFTHE STREET

For one family home evening my

dad wanted to take advantage

of a pause in the rainy weather

to go on a walk around the neighbor-

hood I grumbled and complained

that it was too wet and muddy to

go walking I used the excuse that

I had a ballet recital that week and

didnrsquot want to sprain an ankle but

my dad didnrsquot buy it He insisted thatit was going to be the activity for the

evening I murmured a bit more about

the unfairness and my recital but we

left on the walk anyway

As I glumly stomped outside for

the walk with my family I was deter-

mined not to smile or be happy I

succeeded in feeling miserable until

I N S T A N T M E S S A G E S

we reached the end of the street Then

we turned the corner and I saw in full

force naturersquos beauty and wonder

Before me was a gorgeous sunset

and opposite it was a rainbow arching

above our neighborhood rooftops

I immediately forgot all about being

miserable and looked around in awe

On the way home I said a prayer of

gratitude thanking God for the beautyof His creations I later thanked my

dad for choosing the activity and for

allowing us to enjoy nature for that

family home evening

Jennie H North Carolina USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4952

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 47

STANDARDS AND FRIENDS

Since Irsquove been in school Irsquove had friends who havenrsquot understood the

moral standards of our religion At first it was difficult but over time

my friends have become used to the idea of my being morally clean I

made a goal in my life to be clean and pure and itrsquos worked out well both

for me and for those who used to criticize me Over time respect peace and

joy have become a part of our loving circle of friends

Vitoacuteria M Brazil

A DIFFICULT DECISION

FORGIVINGMY FRIENDS

As the only member of the

Church in my peer group

Irsquove experienced some

instances when my friends have

offended me Sometimes they judge

and criticize my religion I feel so

alone yet Irsquom thankful I know the

standards of the Church

If my friends offend me I try to

humble myself and avoid contention

because I know contention is evil When they start discussing some mat-

ters about the Church I just testify of

my belief in the gospel

I always forgive my friends with or

without their apology Forgiving is not

just about saying ldquoApology acceptedrdquo

or ldquoItrsquos OKrdquo because forgiveness has

a deep meaning Jesus Christ atoned

for our sins so that Heavenly Father

can forgive usEven though my friends donrsquot

understand my faith now I know that

I can be Godrsquos instrument to teach

them the gospel I am helping them

and at the same time I am helping

myself to grow spiritually and prepare

to serve a mission

Joshua V Philippines

As volleyball tryouts approached for my senior year in high

school I couldnrsquot believe the thought that was running through

my head I wasnrsquot supposed to play volleyball Irsquod played vol-

leyball since seventh grademdashwhy should this year be any different

Not seeing the sense in quitting I ignored the feeling and continued

to participate in summer volleyball events After a while the feeling

came back so I decided that if I really wasnrsquot supposed to be on the

team my coach would just cut me during tryouts

Then one night at the gym I couldnrsquot focus on the game at all I felt

terrible and restless inside I came home frustrated with my team and

with myself I sat next to my mom and sister and cried I told them

how confused I was and my mom told me to pray and ask Heavenly

Father what He wanted me to do I went up to my room and began to

pray I told Heavenly Father how I felt then I asked Him to help mefeel peace if I was not supposed to continue playing volleyball I felt

His peace in my heart and knew that I needed to quit

Irsquom still not sure all the reasons why that was the right

decision but I know that itrsquos what the Lord

wanted me to do and thatrsquos a good

enough reason for me

The next morning I told my

coach and my teammates that

I wasnrsquot going to be playing

Even though it was incrediblyhard I knew I was doing

the right thing

Klaire B Arizona USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5052

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5152

you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5252

WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4252

40 N e w E r a

We always seem to be encouraged to read more

because well everyone knows that reading is a

good thing But not all books are worth reading and just

because sexual material is written about rather than pho-

tographed or video recorded doesnrsquot mean that itrsquos less

morally hazardous Making a common display of a sacred

intimacy thatrsquos intended to only be part of a marriage rela-

tionship is wrongmdashwhether in words or imagesIf something yoursquore reading contains explicit sexual

descriptions that imprint themselves on your mind and

arouse sexual feelings in the same way that looking at

pornographic images would then guess what Itrsquos pornog-

raphy Remember the counsel in For the Strength of Youth

ldquoChoose wisely when using media because whatever you

read listen to or look at has an effect on you Select only

media that uplifts yourdquo ([2011] 11) NE

T O T H E P O I N T

President Boyd K

Packer President of

the Quorum of the Twelve

Apostles has said ldquoEach

of us must come to ourown personal testimony

of the Lord Jesus Christ

We then share that testi-

mony with our family and

othersrdquo1 It can sometimes

be easy to question the

depth of your testimony

I know looking at pornographic

pictures is wrong but whatabout reading books with

ldquoromanticrdquo scenes

If I donrsquot have a burning

desire to share thegospel does that mean I

donrsquot have a testimony

when you compare your-

self to people like Brigham

Young who once said ldquoI

wanted to thunder and

roar out the gospel to thenations It burned in my

bones like fire pent uprdquo2

So what if you donrsquot feel

fire in your bones

Hopefully your lack of

desire doesnrsquot come from

a lack of concern for your

fellowmen As your faith in

Jesus Christ grows so does

your love of all people a

love that is a mark of the

true followers of Christ (see

Moroni 748 John 1335)

Itrsquos likely however

that your hesitancy sim-

ply comes from fear and

anxiety about speaking toothers For many people

such feelings can be over-

whelming Even prophets

have had doubts about their

ability to speak to people

(see Exodus 410 Moses

631) They of course

had no reason to question

their testimoniesmdashand

neither should you if you

are studying the scriptures

pondering praying fasting

repenting and doing all the

other things that help bring

the Spirit into your life

If you feel you just

need a little extra cour-age to share the gos-

pel visit ldsorggo

shareNE8 for ideas NE

NOTES

1 Boyd K Packer ldquoThe Witnessrdquo Ensign May 2014 96

2 Teachings of Presidents ofthe Church Brigham Young (1997) viii

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4352

C O M E F O L L O W M E

Family

983152983137tter983150 of

President Boyd K PackerPresident of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

April 2014 general conference

The ultimate end

of all activity in

the Church is that

a man and his wife

and their childrencan be happy

at home

The FamilyYoursquoll be studying about the family in your Sunday classes

this month As you study and discuss family you may pon-der these questions Why do Church leaders emphasize

family so much What is the place of family in Heavenly

Fatherrsquos plan How does family help make us happy

To find some answers to these questions see the

family proclamation near the back of your Personal

Progress or Duty to God booklet or online at ldsorg

gofamilyNE8 Yoursquoll also find teachings about

family relationships in general conference talks at

conferenceldsorg

Give yourself an easy reminder to prepare for your

Sunday lessons on the family Just place these cards

in your scriptures locker or bedroom You can also

download or share them online at ldsorggocardsNE8 B A C K G R O U N D T E X T U R E

B Y I S T O C K P H O T O T H I N K S T O C K

We 983150eed We 983150eed

MOR E

983155tre983150983143the983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

RELATIONSHIPS

983153u983137lity 983153u983137lity TIME amp EFFORT INTO

TO PUT

983155re983150983143te983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4452

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4552

T H E E X T R A S M I L E

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 43

I dont like to pack so I rsquo m just wearing all my stuff

JON CLARK

W h a t m a k e s y o

u t h i n k

D a d rsquo s t a l k i n g t o

t h e

p r o p h e t

B ecaus e h e s ai d h e w as on a conf er ence cal l

RYAN STOKER

F r o m n o w o n j u s t t a k e

a p i c t u r e o f t h e t o o t h a n

d

u p l o a d i t t o m y F a c e b o o k

p a g e

a n d t h e n I rsquo l l s e n d y o u t h e

m o n e y t h r o u g h P a y P a l

RANDY GLASBERGEN

[Gasp] He he made h is bed this morning

And I didnrsquo t even ask

VAL CHADWICK BAGLEY

Who says there arenrsquo t modern m iracles

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4652

44 N e w E r a

ldquoMymom works

Since you donrsquot see your mom often make sure that

the time you do have together is used well You

could talk to your mom about how to do this She

wants a good relationship with you too and will

help you work on it Try asking her what she would

appreciate coming home to a clean house doing an activity

together just talking with you As you regularly do activities your mom appreciates your relationship will improve

Of course you could plan some fun activities to do together

but any meaningful time togethermdashsuch as washing the dishes

or reading the scripturesmdashcan be a great way to build your

relationship

Also plan time for communication Understanding one

another is a key ingredient in good relationships One thing

to discuss is how your momrsquos work schedule will affect your

relationship with her You can avoid misunderstandings if you

talk about your expectations as well as your momrsquosPrayer will help Families are important to Heavenly Father

so He can inspire you to know how to improve your relation-

ship with your mom Donrsquot ignore a prompting to do something

that seems small (see Alma 376) A hug and a smile for exam-

ple can make a big difference NE

Write a Note

Even if you have very

little time together you

can still express your

love to your mother

Write her thoughtful secret notes As

she reads them at work she will think

of you Do as much as you can for

her Think about her more often and

pray for her Ask the Lord to inspire

you and prompt you regarding how

you can improve your relationship Irinka E 20 Odessa Ukraine

Seek to Understand Her

Try to understand her situation

because she works for your benefit

You can begin by helping with things

at home like cleaning the house

helping your siblings and cooking

You also can share scriptures with

your mom pray together and doactivities that you like to do together

Morony M 18 Chihuahua Mexico

Have a Special Sunday

On some Sundays we

have a special lunch

or dinner with a new

dessert we talk and at

the end we sing hymns This brings

us together and helps us be betterfriends

Rebeca N 12 Satildeo Paulo Brazil

Try an Experiment

We arrange time to be together hav-

ing family home evening playing

games going to the beach having

lunch together All of this helps to

Q U E S T I O N S amp A N S W E R S

all day Howcan I improve our

relationshiprdquo

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4752

keep the flame of a good relationship

alive When we disagree we avoid

criticizing I know that sometimes I

ask not to do housework but this

contributes to disharmony in the

home Since I began this experiment

mdashcomplaining less lowering my

voice helping more with housework

and talking more with my mothermdash

a sweet spirit has developed in our

home and we cooperate more

Glenda C 18 Bahia Brazil

Help at Home

Do some extra chores

around the house Your

mom has been work-

ing all day If she has

less work to do when she gets home

shersquoll probably be happier and have

more time to talk and do things with

you While you are talking you canask about her day at work It will

show her that you care and it will

open doors for other topics of discus-

sion allowing you to grow closer

Heather B 18 Oregon USA

Find Something You BothLike to Do

My mumrsquos relationship with me

skyrocketed when I said ldquoI want tospend more time with you but I donrsquot

know what to do or when to do itrdquo

Playing board games happens to be

our favorite pastime So we set aside

a time together to play laugh and

make memories When you are open

with your parents eventually they

become your best companions You

UPCOMING QUESTION

ldquoMy parents just

got divorced Irsquom angry that they

have broken up our

family How doI forgive themrdquo

Send your answer and photo by

September 15 2014

Go to neweraldsorg click ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo enter your LDS Accountand then select ldquoNew Erardquo

Responses may be edited for length

or clarity

Responses are intended for help and per-

spective not as official pronouncements ofChurch doctrine

will be able to talk to them about

anything and you will be sure of an

honest answer That is the sign of a

mature relationship

Ephraim S 15 New South Wales Australia

Read Scriptures Together

Both of you could set a goal to read

together every day even just five

minutes from the Book of Mormon

or any other Church book It will

strengthen your relationship andnourish you with the word of God

so you can be ready to face each day

Remember also to pray to God and

ask for His help I know He hears you

and loves you

Laura M 19 Coacuterdoba Argentina

LEARN FROM

YOUR MOTHER

ldquoPlease look to yourfaithful mothers fora pattern to followModel yourselves

after them not after celebritieswhose standards are not the Lordrsquosstandards and whose values maynot reflect an eternal perspectiveLook to your mother Learn fromher strengths her courage andher faithfulness Listen to her She

may not be a whiz at texting shemay not even have a Facebookpage But when it comes to mat-ters of the heart and the thingsof the Lord she has a wealth ofknowledgerdquo

Elder M Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles ldquoMothers and Daughtersrdquo

Ensign May 2010 19

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4852

46 N e w E r a

MISERABLE TOTHE END OFTHE STREET

For one family home evening my

dad wanted to take advantage

of a pause in the rainy weather

to go on a walk around the neighbor-

hood I grumbled and complained

that it was too wet and muddy to

go walking I used the excuse that

I had a ballet recital that week and

didnrsquot want to sprain an ankle but

my dad didnrsquot buy it He insisted thatit was going to be the activity for the

evening I murmured a bit more about

the unfairness and my recital but we

left on the walk anyway

As I glumly stomped outside for

the walk with my family I was deter-

mined not to smile or be happy I

succeeded in feeling miserable until

I N S T A N T M E S S A G E S

we reached the end of the street Then

we turned the corner and I saw in full

force naturersquos beauty and wonder

Before me was a gorgeous sunset

and opposite it was a rainbow arching

above our neighborhood rooftops

I immediately forgot all about being

miserable and looked around in awe

On the way home I said a prayer of

gratitude thanking God for the beautyof His creations I later thanked my

dad for choosing the activity and for

allowing us to enjoy nature for that

family home evening

Jennie H North Carolina USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4952

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 47

STANDARDS AND FRIENDS

Since Irsquove been in school Irsquove had friends who havenrsquot understood the

moral standards of our religion At first it was difficult but over time

my friends have become used to the idea of my being morally clean I

made a goal in my life to be clean and pure and itrsquos worked out well both

for me and for those who used to criticize me Over time respect peace and

joy have become a part of our loving circle of friends

Vitoacuteria M Brazil

A DIFFICULT DECISION

FORGIVINGMY FRIENDS

As the only member of the

Church in my peer group

Irsquove experienced some

instances when my friends have

offended me Sometimes they judge

and criticize my religion I feel so

alone yet Irsquom thankful I know the

standards of the Church

If my friends offend me I try to

humble myself and avoid contention

because I know contention is evil When they start discussing some mat-

ters about the Church I just testify of

my belief in the gospel

I always forgive my friends with or

without their apology Forgiving is not

just about saying ldquoApology acceptedrdquo

or ldquoItrsquos OKrdquo because forgiveness has

a deep meaning Jesus Christ atoned

for our sins so that Heavenly Father

can forgive usEven though my friends donrsquot

understand my faith now I know that

I can be Godrsquos instrument to teach

them the gospel I am helping them

and at the same time I am helping

myself to grow spiritually and prepare

to serve a mission

Joshua V Philippines

As volleyball tryouts approached for my senior year in high

school I couldnrsquot believe the thought that was running through

my head I wasnrsquot supposed to play volleyball Irsquod played vol-

leyball since seventh grademdashwhy should this year be any different

Not seeing the sense in quitting I ignored the feeling and continued

to participate in summer volleyball events After a while the feeling

came back so I decided that if I really wasnrsquot supposed to be on the

team my coach would just cut me during tryouts

Then one night at the gym I couldnrsquot focus on the game at all I felt

terrible and restless inside I came home frustrated with my team and

with myself I sat next to my mom and sister and cried I told them

how confused I was and my mom told me to pray and ask Heavenly

Father what He wanted me to do I went up to my room and began to

pray I told Heavenly Father how I felt then I asked Him to help mefeel peace if I was not supposed to continue playing volleyball I felt

His peace in my heart and knew that I needed to quit

Irsquom still not sure all the reasons why that was the right

decision but I know that itrsquos what the Lord

wanted me to do and thatrsquos a good

enough reason for me

The next morning I told my

coach and my teammates that

I wasnrsquot going to be playing

Even though it was incrediblyhard I knew I was doing

the right thing

Klaire B Arizona USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5052

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5152

you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5252

WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4352

C O M E F O L L O W M E

Family

983152983137tter983150 of

President Boyd K PackerPresident of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

April 2014 general conference

The ultimate end

of all activity in

the Church is that

a man and his wife

and their childrencan be happy

at home

The FamilyYoursquoll be studying about the family in your Sunday classes

this month As you study and discuss family you may pon-der these questions Why do Church leaders emphasize

family so much What is the place of family in Heavenly

Fatherrsquos plan How does family help make us happy

To find some answers to these questions see the

family proclamation near the back of your Personal

Progress or Duty to God booklet or online at ldsorg

gofamilyNE8 Yoursquoll also find teachings about

family relationships in general conference talks at

conferenceldsorg

Give yourself an easy reminder to prepare for your

Sunday lessons on the family Just place these cards

in your scriptures locker or bedroom You can also

download or share them online at ldsorggocardsNE8 B A C K G R O U N D T E X T U R E

B Y I S T O C K P H O T O T H I N K S T O C K

We 983150eed We 983150eed

MOR E

983155tre983150983143the983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

RELATIONSHIPS

983153u983137lity 983153u983137lity TIME amp EFFORT INTO

TO PUT

983155re983150983143te983150i983150983143 f983137983149ily

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4452

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4552

T H E E X T R A S M I L E

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 43

I dont like to pack so I rsquo m just wearing all my stuff

JON CLARK

W h a t m a k e s y o

u t h i n k

D a d rsquo s t a l k i n g t o

t h e

p r o p h e t

B ecaus e h e s ai d h e w as on a conf er ence cal l

RYAN STOKER

F r o m n o w o n j u s t t a k e

a p i c t u r e o f t h e t o o t h a n

d

u p l o a d i t t o m y F a c e b o o k

p a g e

a n d t h e n I rsquo l l s e n d y o u t h e

m o n e y t h r o u g h P a y P a l

RANDY GLASBERGEN

[Gasp] He he made h is bed this morning

And I didnrsquo t even ask

VAL CHADWICK BAGLEY

Who says there arenrsquo t modern m iracles

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4652

44 N e w E r a

ldquoMymom works

Since you donrsquot see your mom often make sure that

the time you do have together is used well You

could talk to your mom about how to do this She

wants a good relationship with you too and will

help you work on it Try asking her what she would

appreciate coming home to a clean house doing an activity

together just talking with you As you regularly do activities your mom appreciates your relationship will improve

Of course you could plan some fun activities to do together

but any meaningful time togethermdashsuch as washing the dishes

or reading the scripturesmdashcan be a great way to build your

relationship

Also plan time for communication Understanding one

another is a key ingredient in good relationships One thing

to discuss is how your momrsquos work schedule will affect your

relationship with her You can avoid misunderstandings if you

talk about your expectations as well as your momrsquosPrayer will help Families are important to Heavenly Father

so He can inspire you to know how to improve your relation-

ship with your mom Donrsquot ignore a prompting to do something

that seems small (see Alma 376) A hug and a smile for exam-

ple can make a big difference NE

Write a Note

Even if you have very

little time together you

can still express your

love to your mother

Write her thoughtful secret notes As

she reads them at work she will think

of you Do as much as you can for

her Think about her more often and

pray for her Ask the Lord to inspire

you and prompt you regarding how

you can improve your relationship Irinka E 20 Odessa Ukraine

Seek to Understand Her

Try to understand her situation

because she works for your benefit

You can begin by helping with things

at home like cleaning the house

helping your siblings and cooking

You also can share scriptures with

your mom pray together and doactivities that you like to do together

Morony M 18 Chihuahua Mexico

Have a Special Sunday

On some Sundays we

have a special lunch

or dinner with a new

dessert we talk and at

the end we sing hymns This brings

us together and helps us be betterfriends

Rebeca N 12 Satildeo Paulo Brazil

Try an Experiment

We arrange time to be together hav-

ing family home evening playing

games going to the beach having

lunch together All of this helps to

Q U E S T I O N S amp A N S W E R S

all day Howcan I improve our

relationshiprdquo

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4752

keep the flame of a good relationship

alive When we disagree we avoid

criticizing I know that sometimes I

ask not to do housework but this

contributes to disharmony in the

home Since I began this experiment

mdashcomplaining less lowering my

voice helping more with housework

and talking more with my mothermdash

a sweet spirit has developed in our

home and we cooperate more

Glenda C 18 Bahia Brazil

Help at Home

Do some extra chores

around the house Your

mom has been work-

ing all day If she has

less work to do when she gets home

shersquoll probably be happier and have

more time to talk and do things with

you While you are talking you canask about her day at work It will

show her that you care and it will

open doors for other topics of discus-

sion allowing you to grow closer

Heather B 18 Oregon USA

Find Something You BothLike to Do

My mumrsquos relationship with me

skyrocketed when I said ldquoI want tospend more time with you but I donrsquot

know what to do or when to do itrdquo

Playing board games happens to be

our favorite pastime So we set aside

a time together to play laugh and

make memories When you are open

with your parents eventually they

become your best companions You

UPCOMING QUESTION

ldquoMy parents just

got divorced Irsquom angry that they

have broken up our

family How doI forgive themrdquo

Send your answer and photo by

September 15 2014

Go to neweraldsorg click ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo enter your LDS Accountand then select ldquoNew Erardquo

Responses may be edited for length

or clarity

Responses are intended for help and per-

spective not as official pronouncements ofChurch doctrine

will be able to talk to them about

anything and you will be sure of an

honest answer That is the sign of a

mature relationship

Ephraim S 15 New South Wales Australia

Read Scriptures Together

Both of you could set a goal to read

together every day even just five

minutes from the Book of Mormon

or any other Church book It will

strengthen your relationship andnourish you with the word of God

so you can be ready to face each day

Remember also to pray to God and

ask for His help I know He hears you

and loves you

Laura M 19 Coacuterdoba Argentina

LEARN FROM

YOUR MOTHER

ldquoPlease look to yourfaithful mothers fora pattern to followModel yourselves

after them not after celebritieswhose standards are not the Lordrsquosstandards and whose values maynot reflect an eternal perspectiveLook to your mother Learn fromher strengths her courage andher faithfulness Listen to her She

may not be a whiz at texting shemay not even have a Facebookpage But when it comes to mat-ters of the heart and the thingsof the Lord she has a wealth ofknowledgerdquo

Elder M Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles ldquoMothers and Daughtersrdquo

Ensign May 2010 19

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4852

46 N e w E r a

MISERABLE TOTHE END OFTHE STREET

For one family home evening my

dad wanted to take advantage

of a pause in the rainy weather

to go on a walk around the neighbor-

hood I grumbled and complained

that it was too wet and muddy to

go walking I used the excuse that

I had a ballet recital that week and

didnrsquot want to sprain an ankle but

my dad didnrsquot buy it He insisted thatit was going to be the activity for the

evening I murmured a bit more about

the unfairness and my recital but we

left on the walk anyway

As I glumly stomped outside for

the walk with my family I was deter-

mined not to smile or be happy I

succeeded in feeling miserable until

I N S T A N T M E S S A G E S

we reached the end of the street Then

we turned the corner and I saw in full

force naturersquos beauty and wonder

Before me was a gorgeous sunset

and opposite it was a rainbow arching

above our neighborhood rooftops

I immediately forgot all about being

miserable and looked around in awe

On the way home I said a prayer of

gratitude thanking God for the beautyof His creations I later thanked my

dad for choosing the activity and for

allowing us to enjoy nature for that

family home evening

Jennie H North Carolina USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4952

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 47

STANDARDS AND FRIENDS

Since Irsquove been in school Irsquove had friends who havenrsquot understood the

moral standards of our religion At first it was difficult but over time

my friends have become used to the idea of my being morally clean I

made a goal in my life to be clean and pure and itrsquos worked out well both

for me and for those who used to criticize me Over time respect peace and

joy have become a part of our loving circle of friends

Vitoacuteria M Brazil

A DIFFICULT DECISION

FORGIVINGMY FRIENDS

As the only member of the

Church in my peer group

Irsquove experienced some

instances when my friends have

offended me Sometimes they judge

and criticize my religion I feel so

alone yet Irsquom thankful I know the

standards of the Church

If my friends offend me I try to

humble myself and avoid contention

because I know contention is evil When they start discussing some mat-

ters about the Church I just testify of

my belief in the gospel

I always forgive my friends with or

without their apology Forgiving is not

just about saying ldquoApology acceptedrdquo

or ldquoItrsquos OKrdquo because forgiveness has

a deep meaning Jesus Christ atoned

for our sins so that Heavenly Father

can forgive usEven though my friends donrsquot

understand my faith now I know that

I can be Godrsquos instrument to teach

them the gospel I am helping them

and at the same time I am helping

myself to grow spiritually and prepare

to serve a mission

Joshua V Philippines

As volleyball tryouts approached for my senior year in high

school I couldnrsquot believe the thought that was running through

my head I wasnrsquot supposed to play volleyball Irsquod played vol-

leyball since seventh grademdashwhy should this year be any different

Not seeing the sense in quitting I ignored the feeling and continued

to participate in summer volleyball events After a while the feeling

came back so I decided that if I really wasnrsquot supposed to be on the

team my coach would just cut me during tryouts

Then one night at the gym I couldnrsquot focus on the game at all I felt

terrible and restless inside I came home frustrated with my team and

with myself I sat next to my mom and sister and cried I told them

how confused I was and my mom told me to pray and ask Heavenly

Father what He wanted me to do I went up to my room and began to

pray I told Heavenly Father how I felt then I asked Him to help mefeel peace if I was not supposed to continue playing volleyball I felt

His peace in my heart and knew that I needed to quit

Irsquom still not sure all the reasons why that was the right

decision but I know that itrsquos what the Lord

wanted me to do and thatrsquos a good

enough reason for me

The next morning I told my

coach and my teammates that

I wasnrsquot going to be playing

Even though it was incrediblyhard I knew I was doing

the right thing

Klaire B Arizona USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5052

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5152

you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5252

WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4452

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4552

T H E E X T R A S M I L E

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 43

I dont like to pack so I rsquo m just wearing all my stuff

JON CLARK

W h a t m a k e s y o

u t h i n k

D a d rsquo s t a l k i n g t o

t h e

p r o p h e t

B ecaus e h e s ai d h e w as on a conf er ence cal l

RYAN STOKER

F r o m n o w o n j u s t t a k e

a p i c t u r e o f t h e t o o t h a n

d

u p l o a d i t t o m y F a c e b o o k

p a g e

a n d t h e n I rsquo l l s e n d y o u t h e

m o n e y t h r o u g h P a y P a l

RANDY GLASBERGEN

[Gasp] He he made h is bed this morning

And I didnrsquo t even ask

VAL CHADWICK BAGLEY

Who says there arenrsquo t modern m iracles

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4652

44 N e w E r a

ldquoMymom works

Since you donrsquot see your mom often make sure that

the time you do have together is used well You

could talk to your mom about how to do this She

wants a good relationship with you too and will

help you work on it Try asking her what she would

appreciate coming home to a clean house doing an activity

together just talking with you As you regularly do activities your mom appreciates your relationship will improve

Of course you could plan some fun activities to do together

but any meaningful time togethermdashsuch as washing the dishes

or reading the scripturesmdashcan be a great way to build your

relationship

Also plan time for communication Understanding one

another is a key ingredient in good relationships One thing

to discuss is how your momrsquos work schedule will affect your

relationship with her You can avoid misunderstandings if you

talk about your expectations as well as your momrsquosPrayer will help Families are important to Heavenly Father

so He can inspire you to know how to improve your relation-

ship with your mom Donrsquot ignore a prompting to do something

that seems small (see Alma 376) A hug and a smile for exam-

ple can make a big difference NE

Write a Note

Even if you have very

little time together you

can still express your

love to your mother

Write her thoughtful secret notes As

she reads them at work she will think

of you Do as much as you can for

her Think about her more often and

pray for her Ask the Lord to inspire

you and prompt you regarding how

you can improve your relationship Irinka E 20 Odessa Ukraine

Seek to Understand Her

Try to understand her situation

because she works for your benefit

You can begin by helping with things

at home like cleaning the house

helping your siblings and cooking

You also can share scriptures with

your mom pray together and doactivities that you like to do together

Morony M 18 Chihuahua Mexico

Have a Special Sunday

On some Sundays we

have a special lunch

or dinner with a new

dessert we talk and at

the end we sing hymns This brings

us together and helps us be betterfriends

Rebeca N 12 Satildeo Paulo Brazil

Try an Experiment

We arrange time to be together hav-

ing family home evening playing

games going to the beach having

lunch together All of this helps to

Q U E S T I O N S amp A N S W E R S

all day Howcan I improve our

relationshiprdquo

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4752

keep the flame of a good relationship

alive When we disagree we avoid

criticizing I know that sometimes I

ask not to do housework but this

contributes to disharmony in the

home Since I began this experiment

mdashcomplaining less lowering my

voice helping more with housework

and talking more with my mothermdash

a sweet spirit has developed in our

home and we cooperate more

Glenda C 18 Bahia Brazil

Help at Home

Do some extra chores

around the house Your

mom has been work-

ing all day If she has

less work to do when she gets home

shersquoll probably be happier and have

more time to talk and do things with

you While you are talking you canask about her day at work It will

show her that you care and it will

open doors for other topics of discus-

sion allowing you to grow closer

Heather B 18 Oregon USA

Find Something You BothLike to Do

My mumrsquos relationship with me

skyrocketed when I said ldquoI want tospend more time with you but I donrsquot

know what to do or when to do itrdquo

Playing board games happens to be

our favorite pastime So we set aside

a time together to play laugh and

make memories When you are open

with your parents eventually they

become your best companions You

UPCOMING QUESTION

ldquoMy parents just

got divorced Irsquom angry that they

have broken up our

family How doI forgive themrdquo

Send your answer and photo by

September 15 2014

Go to neweraldsorg click ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo enter your LDS Accountand then select ldquoNew Erardquo

Responses may be edited for length

or clarity

Responses are intended for help and per-

spective not as official pronouncements ofChurch doctrine

will be able to talk to them about

anything and you will be sure of an

honest answer That is the sign of a

mature relationship

Ephraim S 15 New South Wales Australia

Read Scriptures Together

Both of you could set a goal to read

together every day even just five

minutes from the Book of Mormon

or any other Church book It will

strengthen your relationship andnourish you with the word of God

so you can be ready to face each day

Remember also to pray to God and

ask for His help I know He hears you

and loves you

Laura M 19 Coacuterdoba Argentina

LEARN FROM

YOUR MOTHER

ldquoPlease look to yourfaithful mothers fora pattern to followModel yourselves

after them not after celebritieswhose standards are not the Lordrsquosstandards and whose values maynot reflect an eternal perspectiveLook to your mother Learn fromher strengths her courage andher faithfulness Listen to her She

may not be a whiz at texting shemay not even have a Facebookpage But when it comes to mat-ters of the heart and the thingsof the Lord she has a wealth ofknowledgerdquo

Elder M Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles ldquoMothers and Daughtersrdquo

Ensign May 2010 19

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4852

46 N e w E r a

MISERABLE TOTHE END OFTHE STREET

For one family home evening my

dad wanted to take advantage

of a pause in the rainy weather

to go on a walk around the neighbor-

hood I grumbled and complained

that it was too wet and muddy to

go walking I used the excuse that

I had a ballet recital that week and

didnrsquot want to sprain an ankle but

my dad didnrsquot buy it He insisted thatit was going to be the activity for the

evening I murmured a bit more about

the unfairness and my recital but we

left on the walk anyway

As I glumly stomped outside for

the walk with my family I was deter-

mined not to smile or be happy I

succeeded in feeling miserable until

I N S T A N T M E S S A G E S

we reached the end of the street Then

we turned the corner and I saw in full

force naturersquos beauty and wonder

Before me was a gorgeous sunset

and opposite it was a rainbow arching

above our neighborhood rooftops

I immediately forgot all about being

miserable and looked around in awe

On the way home I said a prayer of

gratitude thanking God for the beautyof His creations I later thanked my

dad for choosing the activity and for

allowing us to enjoy nature for that

family home evening

Jennie H North Carolina USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4952

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 47

STANDARDS AND FRIENDS

Since Irsquove been in school Irsquove had friends who havenrsquot understood the

moral standards of our religion At first it was difficult but over time

my friends have become used to the idea of my being morally clean I

made a goal in my life to be clean and pure and itrsquos worked out well both

for me and for those who used to criticize me Over time respect peace and

joy have become a part of our loving circle of friends

Vitoacuteria M Brazil

A DIFFICULT DECISION

FORGIVINGMY FRIENDS

As the only member of the

Church in my peer group

Irsquove experienced some

instances when my friends have

offended me Sometimes they judge

and criticize my religion I feel so

alone yet Irsquom thankful I know the

standards of the Church

If my friends offend me I try to

humble myself and avoid contention

because I know contention is evil When they start discussing some mat-

ters about the Church I just testify of

my belief in the gospel

I always forgive my friends with or

without their apology Forgiving is not

just about saying ldquoApology acceptedrdquo

or ldquoItrsquos OKrdquo because forgiveness has

a deep meaning Jesus Christ atoned

for our sins so that Heavenly Father

can forgive usEven though my friends donrsquot

understand my faith now I know that

I can be Godrsquos instrument to teach

them the gospel I am helping them

and at the same time I am helping

myself to grow spiritually and prepare

to serve a mission

Joshua V Philippines

As volleyball tryouts approached for my senior year in high

school I couldnrsquot believe the thought that was running through

my head I wasnrsquot supposed to play volleyball Irsquod played vol-

leyball since seventh grademdashwhy should this year be any different

Not seeing the sense in quitting I ignored the feeling and continued

to participate in summer volleyball events After a while the feeling

came back so I decided that if I really wasnrsquot supposed to be on the

team my coach would just cut me during tryouts

Then one night at the gym I couldnrsquot focus on the game at all I felt

terrible and restless inside I came home frustrated with my team and

with myself I sat next to my mom and sister and cried I told them

how confused I was and my mom told me to pray and ask Heavenly

Father what He wanted me to do I went up to my room and began to

pray I told Heavenly Father how I felt then I asked Him to help mefeel peace if I was not supposed to continue playing volleyball I felt

His peace in my heart and knew that I needed to quit

Irsquom still not sure all the reasons why that was the right

decision but I know that itrsquos what the Lord

wanted me to do and thatrsquos a good

enough reason for me

The next morning I told my

coach and my teammates that

I wasnrsquot going to be playing

Even though it was incrediblyhard I knew I was doing

the right thing

Klaire B Arizona USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5052

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5152

you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5252

WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4552

T H E E X T R A S M I L E

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 43

I dont like to pack so I rsquo m just wearing all my stuff

JON CLARK

W h a t m a k e s y o

u t h i n k

D a d rsquo s t a l k i n g t o

t h e

p r o p h e t

B ecaus e h e s ai d h e w as on a conf er ence cal l

RYAN STOKER

F r o m n o w o n j u s t t a k e

a p i c t u r e o f t h e t o o t h a n

d

u p l o a d i t t o m y F a c e b o o k

p a g e

a n d t h e n I rsquo l l s e n d y o u t h e

m o n e y t h r o u g h P a y P a l

RANDY GLASBERGEN

[Gasp] He he made h is bed this morning

And I didnrsquo t even ask

VAL CHADWICK BAGLEY

Who says there arenrsquo t modern m iracles

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4652

44 N e w E r a

ldquoMymom works

Since you donrsquot see your mom often make sure that

the time you do have together is used well You

could talk to your mom about how to do this She

wants a good relationship with you too and will

help you work on it Try asking her what she would

appreciate coming home to a clean house doing an activity

together just talking with you As you regularly do activities your mom appreciates your relationship will improve

Of course you could plan some fun activities to do together

but any meaningful time togethermdashsuch as washing the dishes

or reading the scripturesmdashcan be a great way to build your

relationship

Also plan time for communication Understanding one

another is a key ingredient in good relationships One thing

to discuss is how your momrsquos work schedule will affect your

relationship with her You can avoid misunderstandings if you

talk about your expectations as well as your momrsquosPrayer will help Families are important to Heavenly Father

so He can inspire you to know how to improve your relation-

ship with your mom Donrsquot ignore a prompting to do something

that seems small (see Alma 376) A hug and a smile for exam-

ple can make a big difference NE

Write a Note

Even if you have very

little time together you

can still express your

love to your mother

Write her thoughtful secret notes As

she reads them at work she will think

of you Do as much as you can for

her Think about her more often and

pray for her Ask the Lord to inspire

you and prompt you regarding how

you can improve your relationship Irinka E 20 Odessa Ukraine

Seek to Understand Her

Try to understand her situation

because she works for your benefit

You can begin by helping with things

at home like cleaning the house

helping your siblings and cooking

You also can share scriptures with

your mom pray together and doactivities that you like to do together

Morony M 18 Chihuahua Mexico

Have a Special Sunday

On some Sundays we

have a special lunch

or dinner with a new

dessert we talk and at

the end we sing hymns This brings

us together and helps us be betterfriends

Rebeca N 12 Satildeo Paulo Brazil

Try an Experiment

We arrange time to be together hav-

ing family home evening playing

games going to the beach having

lunch together All of this helps to

Q U E S T I O N S amp A N S W E R S

all day Howcan I improve our

relationshiprdquo

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4752

keep the flame of a good relationship

alive When we disagree we avoid

criticizing I know that sometimes I

ask not to do housework but this

contributes to disharmony in the

home Since I began this experiment

mdashcomplaining less lowering my

voice helping more with housework

and talking more with my mothermdash

a sweet spirit has developed in our

home and we cooperate more

Glenda C 18 Bahia Brazil

Help at Home

Do some extra chores

around the house Your

mom has been work-

ing all day If she has

less work to do when she gets home

shersquoll probably be happier and have

more time to talk and do things with

you While you are talking you canask about her day at work It will

show her that you care and it will

open doors for other topics of discus-

sion allowing you to grow closer

Heather B 18 Oregon USA

Find Something You BothLike to Do

My mumrsquos relationship with me

skyrocketed when I said ldquoI want tospend more time with you but I donrsquot

know what to do or when to do itrdquo

Playing board games happens to be

our favorite pastime So we set aside

a time together to play laugh and

make memories When you are open

with your parents eventually they

become your best companions You

UPCOMING QUESTION

ldquoMy parents just

got divorced Irsquom angry that they

have broken up our

family How doI forgive themrdquo

Send your answer and photo by

September 15 2014

Go to neweraldsorg click ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo enter your LDS Accountand then select ldquoNew Erardquo

Responses may be edited for length

or clarity

Responses are intended for help and per-

spective not as official pronouncements ofChurch doctrine

will be able to talk to them about

anything and you will be sure of an

honest answer That is the sign of a

mature relationship

Ephraim S 15 New South Wales Australia

Read Scriptures Together

Both of you could set a goal to read

together every day even just five

minutes from the Book of Mormon

or any other Church book It will

strengthen your relationship andnourish you with the word of God

so you can be ready to face each day

Remember also to pray to God and

ask for His help I know He hears you

and loves you

Laura M 19 Coacuterdoba Argentina

LEARN FROM

YOUR MOTHER

ldquoPlease look to yourfaithful mothers fora pattern to followModel yourselves

after them not after celebritieswhose standards are not the Lordrsquosstandards and whose values maynot reflect an eternal perspectiveLook to your mother Learn fromher strengths her courage andher faithfulness Listen to her She

may not be a whiz at texting shemay not even have a Facebookpage But when it comes to mat-ters of the heart and the thingsof the Lord she has a wealth ofknowledgerdquo

Elder M Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles ldquoMothers and Daughtersrdquo

Ensign May 2010 19

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4852

46 N e w E r a

MISERABLE TOTHE END OFTHE STREET

For one family home evening my

dad wanted to take advantage

of a pause in the rainy weather

to go on a walk around the neighbor-

hood I grumbled and complained

that it was too wet and muddy to

go walking I used the excuse that

I had a ballet recital that week and

didnrsquot want to sprain an ankle but

my dad didnrsquot buy it He insisted thatit was going to be the activity for the

evening I murmured a bit more about

the unfairness and my recital but we

left on the walk anyway

As I glumly stomped outside for

the walk with my family I was deter-

mined not to smile or be happy I

succeeded in feeling miserable until

I N S T A N T M E S S A G E S

we reached the end of the street Then

we turned the corner and I saw in full

force naturersquos beauty and wonder

Before me was a gorgeous sunset

and opposite it was a rainbow arching

above our neighborhood rooftops

I immediately forgot all about being

miserable and looked around in awe

On the way home I said a prayer of

gratitude thanking God for the beautyof His creations I later thanked my

dad for choosing the activity and for

allowing us to enjoy nature for that

family home evening

Jennie H North Carolina USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4952

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 47

STANDARDS AND FRIENDS

Since Irsquove been in school Irsquove had friends who havenrsquot understood the

moral standards of our religion At first it was difficult but over time

my friends have become used to the idea of my being morally clean I

made a goal in my life to be clean and pure and itrsquos worked out well both

for me and for those who used to criticize me Over time respect peace and

joy have become a part of our loving circle of friends

Vitoacuteria M Brazil

A DIFFICULT DECISION

FORGIVINGMY FRIENDS

As the only member of the

Church in my peer group

Irsquove experienced some

instances when my friends have

offended me Sometimes they judge

and criticize my religion I feel so

alone yet Irsquom thankful I know the

standards of the Church

If my friends offend me I try to

humble myself and avoid contention

because I know contention is evil When they start discussing some mat-

ters about the Church I just testify of

my belief in the gospel

I always forgive my friends with or

without their apology Forgiving is not

just about saying ldquoApology acceptedrdquo

or ldquoItrsquos OKrdquo because forgiveness has

a deep meaning Jesus Christ atoned

for our sins so that Heavenly Father

can forgive usEven though my friends donrsquot

understand my faith now I know that

I can be Godrsquos instrument to teach

them the gospel I am helping them

and at the same time I am helping

myself to grow spiritually and prepare

to serve a mission

Joshua V Philippines

As volleyball tryouts approached for my senior year in high

school I couldnrsquot believe the thought that was running through

my head I wasnrsquot supposed to play volleyball Irsquod played vol-

leyball since seventh grademdashwhy should this year be any different

Not seeing the sense in quitting I ignored the feeling and continued

to participate in summer volleyball events After a while the feeling

came back so I decided that if I really wasnrsquot supposed to be on the

team my coach would just cut me during tryouts

Then one night at the gym I couldnrsquot focus on the game at all I felt

terrible and restless inside I came home frustrated with my team and

with myself I sat next to my mom and sister and cried I told them

how confused I was and my mom told me to pray and ask Heavenly

Father what He wanted me to do I went up to my room and began to

pray I told Heavenly Father how I felt then I asked Him to help mefeel peace if I was not supposed to continue playing volleyball I felt

His peace in my heart and knew that I needed to quit

Irsquom still not sure all the reasons why that was the right

decision but I know that itrsquos what the Lord

wanted me to do and thatrsquos a good

enough reason for me

The next morning I told my

coach and my teammates that

I wasnrsquot going to be playing

Even though it was incrediblyhard I knew I was doing

the right thing

Klaire B Arizona USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5052

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5152

you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5252

WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4652

44 N e w E r a

ldquoMymom works

Since you donrsquot see your mom often make sure that

the time you do have together is used well You

could talk to your mom about how to do this She

wants a good relationship with you too and will

help you work on it Try asking her what she would

appreciate coming home to a clean house doing an activity

together just talking with you As you regularly do activities your mom appreciates your relationship will improve

Of course you could plan some fun activities to do together

but any meaningful time togethermdashsuch as washing the dishes

or reading the scripturesmdashcan be a great way to build your

relationship

Also plan time for communication Understanding one

another is a key ingredient in good relationships One thing

to discuss is how your momrsquos work schedule will affect your

relationship with her You can avoid misunderstandings if you

talk about your expectations as well as your momrsquosPrayer will help Families are important to Heavenly Father

so He can inspire you to know how to improve your relation-

ship with your mom Donrsquot ignore a prompting to do something

that seems small (see Alma 376) A hug and a smile for exam-

ple can make a big difference NE

Write a Note

Even if you have very

little time together you

can still express your

love to your mother

Write her thoughtful secret notes As

she reads them at work she will think

of you Do as much as you can for

her Think about her more often and

pray for her Ask the Lord to inspire

you and prompt you regarding how

you can improve your relationship Irinka E 20 Odessa Ukraine

Seek to Understand Her

Try to understand her situation

because she works for your benefit

You can begin by helping with things

at home like cleaning the house

helping your siblings and cooking

You also can share scriptures with

your mom pray together and doactivities that you like to do together

Morony M 18 Chihuahua Mexico

Have a Special Sunday

On some Sundays we

have a special lunch

or dinner with a new

dessert we talk and at

the end we sing hymns This brings

us together and helps us be betterfriends

Rebeca N 12 Satildeo Paulo Brazil

Try an Experiment

We arrange time to be together hav-

ing family home evening playing

games going to the beach having

lunch together All of this helps to

Q U E S T I O N S amp A N S W E R S

all day Howcan I improve our

relationshiprdquo

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4752

keep the flame of a good relationship

alive When we disagree we avoid

criticizing I know that sometimes I

ask not to do housework but this

contributes to disharmony in the

home Since I began this experiment

mdashcomplaining less lowering my

voice helping more with housework

and talking more with my mothermdash

a sweet spirit has developed in our

home and we cooperate more

Glenda C 18 Bahia Brazil

Help at Home

Do some extra chores

around the house Your

mom has been work-

ing all day If she has

less work to do when she gets home

shersquoll probably be happier and have

more time to talk and do things with

you While you are talking you canask about her day at work It will

show her that you care and it will

open doors for other topics of discus-

sion allowing you to grow closer

Heather B 18 Oregon USA

Find Something You BothLike to Do

My mumrsquos relationship with me

skyrocketed when I said ldquoI want tospend more time with you but I donrsquot

know what to do or when to do itrdquo

Playing board games happens to be

our favorite pastime So we set aside

a time together to play laugh and

make memories When you are open

with your parents eventually they

become your best companions You

UPCOMING QUESTION

ldquoMy parents just

got divorced Irsquom angry that they

have broken up our

family How doI forgive themrdquo

Send your answer and photo by

September 15 2014

Go to neweraldsorg click ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo enter your LDS Accountand then select ldquoNew Erardquo

Responses may be edited for length

or clarity

Responses are intended for help and per-

spective not as official pronouncements ofChurch doctrine

will be able to talk to them about

anything and you will be sure of an

honest answer That is the sign of a

mature relationship

Ephraim S 15 New South Wales Australia

Read Scriptures Together

Both of you could set a goal to read

together every day even just five

minutes from the Book of Mormon

or any other Church book It will

strengthen your relationship andnourish you with the word of God

so you can be ready to face each day

Remember also to pray to God and

ask for His help I know He hears you

and loves you

Laura M 19 Coacuterdoba Argentina

LEARN FROM

YOUR MOTHER

ldquoPlease look to yourfaithful mothers fora pattern to followModel yourselves

after them not after celebritieswhose standards are not the Lordrsquosstandards and whose values maynot reflect an eternal perspectiveLook to your mother Learn fromher strengths her courage andher faithfulness Listen to her She

may not be a whiz at texting shemay not even have a Facebookpage But when it comes to mat-ters of the heart and the thingsof the Lord she has a wealth ofknowledgerdquo

Elder M Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles ldquoMothers and Daughtersrdquo

Ensign May 2010 19

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4852

46 N e w E r a

MISERABLE TOTHE END OFTHE STREET

For one family home evening my

dad wanted to take advantage

of a pause in the rainy weather

to go on a walk around the neighbor-

hood I grumbled and complained

that it was too wet and muddy to

go walking I used the excuse that

I had a ballet recital that week and

didnrsquot want to sprain an ankle but

my dad didnrsquot buy it He insisted thatit was going to be the activity for the

evening I murmured a bit more about

the unfairness and my recital but we

left on the walk anyway

As I glumly stomped outside for

the walk with my family I was deter-

mined not to smile or be happy I

succeeded in feeling miserable until

I N S T A N T M E S S A G E S

we reached the end of the street Then

we turned the corner and I saw in full

force naturersquos beauty and wonder

Before me was a gorgeous sunset

and opposite it was a rainbow arching

above our neighborhood rooftops

I immediately forgot all about being

miserable and looked around in awe

On the way home I said a prayer of

gratitude thanking God for the beautyof His creations I later thanked my

dad for choosing the activity and for

allowing us to enjoy nature for that

family home evening

Jennie H North Carolina USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4952

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 47

STANDARDS AND FRIENDS

Since Irsquove been in school Irsquove had friends who havenrsquot understood the

moral standards of our religion At first it was difficult but over time

my friends have become used to the idea of my being morally clean I

made a goal in my life to be clean and pure and itrsquos worked out well both

for me and for those who used to criticize me Over time respect peace and

joy have become a part of our loving circle of friends

Vitoacuteria M Brazil

A DIFFICULT DECISION

FORGIVINGMY FRIENDS

As the only member of the

Church in my peer group

Irsquove experienced some

instances when my friends have

offended me Sometimes they judge

and criticize my religion I feel so

alone yet Irsquom thankful I know the

standards of the Church

If my friends offend me I try to

humble myself and avoid contention

because I know contention is evil When they start discussing some mat-

ters about the Church I just testify of

my belief in the gospel

I always forgive my friends with or

without their apology Forgiving is not

just about saying ldquoApology acceptedrdquo

or ldquoItrsquos OKrdquo because forgiveness has

a deep meaning Jesus Christ atoned

for our sins so that Heavenly Father

can forgive usEven though my friends donrsquot

understand my faith now I know that

I can be Godrsquos instrument to teach

them the gospel I am helping them

and at the same time I am helping

myself to grow spiritually and prepare

to serve a mission

Joshua V Philippines

As volleyball tryouts approached for my senior year in high

school I couldnrsquot believe the thought that was running through

my head I wasnrsquot supposed to play volleyball Irsquod played vol-

leyball since seventh grademdashwhy should this year be any different

Not seeing the sense in quitting I ignored the feeling and continued

to participate in summer volleyball events After a while the feeling

came back so I decided that if I really wasnrsquot supposed to be on the

team my coach would just cut me during tryouts

Then one night at the gym I couldnrsquot focus on the game at all I felt

terrible and restless inside I came home frustrated with my team and

with myself I sat next to my mom and sister and cried I told them

how confused I was and my mom told me to pray and ask Heavenly

Father what He wanted me to do I went up to my room and began to

pray I told Heavenly Father how I felt then I asked Him to help mefeel peace if I was not supposed to continue playing volleyball I felt

His peace in my heart and knew that I needed to quit

Irsquom still not sure all the reasons why that was the right

decision but I know that itrsquos what the Lord

wanted me to do and thatrsquos a good

enough reason for me

The next morning I told my

coach and my teammates that

I wasnrsquot going to be playing

Even though it was incrediblyhard I knew I was doing

the right thing

Klaire B Arizona USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5052

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5152

you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5252

WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4752

keep the flame of a good relationship

alive When we disagree we avoid

criticizing I know that sometimes I

ask not to do housework but this

contributes to disharmony in the

home Since I began this experiment

mdashcomplaining less lowering my

voice helping more with housework

and talking more with my mothermdash

a sweet spirit has developed in our

home and we cooperate more

Glenda C 18 Bahia Brazil

Help at Home

Do some extra chores

around the house Your

mom has been work-

ing all day If she has

less work to do when she gets home

shersquoll probably be happier and have

more time to talk and do things with

you While you are talking you canask about her day at work It will

show her that you care and it will

open doors for other topics of discus-

sion allowing you to grow closer

Heather B 18 Oregon USA

Find Something You BothLike to Do

My mumrsquos relationship with me

skyrocketed when I said ldquoI want tospend more time with you but I donrsquot

know what to do or when to do itrdquo

Playing board games happens to be

our favorite pastime So we set aside

a time together to play laugh and

make memories When you are open

with your parents eventually they

become your best companions You

UPCOMING QUESTION

ldquoMy parents just

got divorced Irsquom angry that they

have broken up our

family How doI forgive themrdquo

Send your answer and photo by

September 15 2014

Go to neweraldsorg click ldquoSubmit

Your Workrdquo enter your LDS Accountand then select ldquoNew Erardquo

Responses may be edited for length

or clarity

Responses are intended for help and per-

spective not as official pronouncements ofChurch doctrine

will be able to talk to them about

anything and you will be sure of an

honest answer That is the sign of a

mature relationship

Ephraim S 15 New South Wales Australia

Read Scriptures Together

Both of you could set a goal to read

together every day even just five

minutes from the Book of Mormon

or any other Church book It will

strengthen your relationship andnourish you with the word of God

so you can be ready to face each day

Remember also to pray to God and

ask for His help I know He hears you

and loves you

Laura M 19 Coacuterdoba Argentina

LEARN FROM

YOUR MOTHER

ldquoPlease look to yourfaithful mothers fora pattern to followModel yourselves

after them not after celebritieswhose standards are not the Lordrsquosstandards and whose values maynot reflect an eternal perspectiveLook to your mother Learn fromher strengths her courage andher faithfulness Listen to her She

may not be a whiz at texting shemay not even have a Facebookpage But when it comes to mat-ters of the heart and the thingsof the Lord she has a wealth ofknowledgerdquo

Elder M Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the

Twelve Apostles ldquoMothers and Daughtersrdquo

Ensign May 2010 19

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4852

46 N e w E r a

MISERABLE TOTHE END OFTHE STREET

For one family home evening my

dad wanted to take advantage

of a pause in the rainy weather

to go on a walk around the neighbor-

hood I grumbled and complained

that it was too wet and muddy to

go walking I used the excuse that

I had a ballet recital that week and

didnrsquot want to sprain an ankle but

my dad didnrsquot buy it He insisted thatit was going to be the activity for the

evening I murmured a bit more about

the unfairness and my recital but we

left on the walk anyway

As I glumly stomped outside for

the walk with my family I was deter-

mined not to smile or be happy I

succeeded in feeling miserable until

I N S T A N T M E S S A G E S

we reached the end of the street Then

we turned the corner and I saw in full

force naturersquos beauty and wonder

Before me was a gorgeous sunset

and opposite it was a rainbow arching

above our neighborhood rooftops

I immediately forgot all about being

miserable and looked around in awe

On the way home I said a prayer of

gratitude thanking God for the beautyof His creations I later thanked my

dad for choosing the activity and for

allowing us to enjoy nature for that

family home evening

Jennie H North Carolina USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4952

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 47

STANDARDS AND FRIENDS

Since Irsquove been in school Irsquove had friends who havenrsquot understood the

moral standards of our religion At first it was difficult but over time

my friends have become used to the idea of my being morally clean I

made a goal in my life to be clean and pure and itrsquos worked out well both

for me and for those who used to criticize me Over time respect peace and

joy have become a part of our loving circle of friends

Vitoacuteria M Brazil

A DIFFICULT DECISION

FORGIVINGMY FRIENDS

As the only member of the

Church in my peer group

Irsquove experienced some

instances when my friends have

offended me Sometimes they judge

and criticize my religion I feel so

alone yet Irsquom thankful I know the

standards of the Church

If my friends offend me I try to

humble myself and avoid contention

because I know contention is evil When they start discussing some mat-

ters about the Church I just testify of

my belief in the gospel

I always forgive my friends with or

without their apology Forgiving is not

just about saying ldquoApology acceptedrdquo

or ldquoItrsquos OKrdquo because forgiveness has

a deep meaning Jesus Christ atoned

for our sins so that Heavenly Father

can forgive usEven though my friends donrsquot

understand my faith now I know that

I can be Godrsquos instrument to teach

them the gospel I am helping them

and at the same time I am helping

myself to grow spiritually and prepare

to serve a mission

Joshua V Philippines

As volleyball tryouts approached for my senior year in high

school I couldnrsquot believe the thought that was running through

my head I wasnrsquot supposed to play volleyball Irsquod played vol-

leyball since seventh grademdashwhy should this year be any different

Not seeing the sense in quitting I ignored the feeling and continued

to participate in summer volleyball events After a while the feeling

came back so I decided that if I really wasnrsquot supposed to be on the

team my coach would just cut me during tryouts

Then one night at the gym I couldnrsquot focus on the game at all I felt

terrible and restless inside I came home frustrated with my team and

with myself I sat next to my mom and sister and cried I told them

how confused I was and my mom told me to pray and ask Heavenly

Father what He wanted me to do I went up to my room and began to

pray I told Heavenly Father how I felt then I asked Him to help mefeel peace if I was not supposed to continue playing volleyball I felt

His peace in my heart and knew that I needed to quit

Irsquom still not sure all the reasons why that was the right

decision but I know that itrsquos what the Lord

wanted me to do and thatrsquos a good

enough reason for me

The next morning I told my

coach and my teammates that

I wasnrsquot going to be playing

Even though it was incrediblyhard I knew I was doing

the right thing

Klaire B Arizona USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5052

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5152

you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5252

WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4852

46 N e w E r a

MISERABLE TOTHE END OFTHE STREET

For one family home evening my

dad wanted to take advantage

of a pause in the rainy weather

to go on a walk around the neighbor-

hood I grumbled and complained

that it was too wet and muddy to

go walking I used the excuse that

I had a ballet recital that week and

didnrsquot want to sprain an ankle but

my dad didnrsquot buy it He insisted thatit was going to be the activity for the

evening I murmured a bit more about

the unfairness and my recital but we

left on the walk anyway

As I glumly stomped outside for

the walk with my family I was deter-

mined not to smile or be happy I

succeeded in feeling miserable until

I N S T A N T M E S S A G E S

we reached the end of the street Then

we turned the corner and I saw in full

force naturersquos beauty and wonder

Before me was a gorgeous sunset

and opposite it was a rainbow arching

above our neighborhood rooftops

I immediately forgot all about being

miserable and looked around in awe

On the way home I said a prayer of

gratitude thanking God for the beautyof His creations I later thanked my

dad for choosing the activity and for

allowing us to enjoy nature for that

family home evening

Jennie H North Carolina USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4952

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 47

STANDARDS AND FRIENDS

Since Irsquove been in school Irsquove had friends who havenrsquot understood the

moral standards of our religion At first it was difficult but over time

my friends have become used to the idea of my being morally clean I

made a goal in my life to be clean and pure and itrsquos worked out well both

for me and for those who used to criticize me Over time respect peace and

joy have become a part of our loving circle of friends

Vitoacuteria M Brazil

A DIFFICULT DECISION

FORGIVINGMY FRIENDS

As the only member of the

Church in my peer group

Irsquove experienced some

instances when my friends have

offended me Sometimes they judge

and criticize my religion I feel so

alone yet Irsquom thankful I know the

standards of the Church

If my friends offend me I try to

humble myself and avoid contention

because I know contention is evil When they start discussing some mat-

ters about the Church I just testify of

my belief in the gospel

I always forgive my friends with or

without their apology Forgiving is not

just about saying ldquoApology acceptedrdquo

or ldquoItrsquos OKrdquo because forgiveness has

a deep meaning Jesus Christ atoned

for our sins so that Heavenly Father

can forgive usEven though my friends donrsquot

understand my faith now I know that

I can be Godrsquos instrument to teach

them the gospel I am helping them

and at the same time I am helping

myself to grow spiritually and prepare

to serve a mission

Joshua V Philippines

As volleyball tryouts approached for my senior year in high

school I couldnrsquot believe the thought that was running through

my head I wasnrsquot supposed to play volleyball Irsquod played vol-

leyball since seventh grademdashwhy should this year be any different

Not seeing the sense in quitting I ignored the feeling and continued

to participate in summer volleyball events After a while the feeling

came back so I decided that if I really wasnrsquot supposed to be on the

team my coach would just cut me during tryouts

Then one night at the gym I couldnrsquot focus on the game at all I felt

terrible and restless inside I came home frustrated with my team and

with myself I sat next to my mom and sister and cried I told them

how confused I was and my mom told me to pray and ask Heavenly

Father what He wanted me to do I went up to my room and began to

pray I told Heavenly Father how I felt then I asked Him to help mefeel peace if I was not supposed to continue playing volleyball I felt

His peace in my heart and knew that I needed to quit

Irsquom still not sure all the reasons why that was the right

decision but I know that itrsquos what the Lord

wanted me to do and thatrsquos a good

enough reason for me

The next morning I told my

coach and my teammates that

I wasnrsquot going to be playing

Even though it was incrediblyhard I knew I was doing

the right thing

Klaire B Arizona USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5052

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5152

you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5252

WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 4952

A u g u s t 2 0 1 4 47

STANDARDS AND FRIENDS

Since Irsquove been in school Irsquove had friends who havenrsquot understood the

moral standards of our religion At first it was difficult but over time

my friends have become used to the idea of my being morally clean I

made a goal in my life to be clean and pure and itrsquos worked out well both

for me and for those who used to criticize me Over time respect peace and

joy have become a part of our loving circle of friends

Vitoacuteria M Brazil

A DIFFICULT DECISION

FORGIVINGMY FRIENDS

As the only member of the

Church in my peer group

Irsquove experienced some

instances when my friends have

offended me Sometimes they judge

and criticize my religion I feel so

alone yet Irsquom thankful I know the

standards of the Church

If my friends offend me I try to

humble myself and avoid contention

because I know contention is evil When they start discussing some mat-

ters about the Church I just testify of

my belief in the gospel

I always forgive my friends with or

without their apology Forgiving is not

just about saying ldquoApology acceptedrdquo

or ldquoItrsquos OKrdquo because forgiveness has

a deep meaning Jesus Christ atoned

for our sins so that Heavenly Father

can forgive usEven though my friends donrsquot

understand my faith now I know that

I can be Godrsquos instrument to teach

them the gospel I am helping them

and at the same time I am helping

myself to grow spiritually and prepare

to serve a mission

Joshua V Philippines

As volleyball tryouts approached for my senior year in high

school I couldnrsquot believe the thought that was running through

my head I wasnrsquot supposed to play volleyball Irsquod played vol-

leyball since seventh grademdashwhy should this year be any different

Not seeing the sense in quitting I ignored the feeling and continued

to participate in summer volleyball events After a while the feeling

came back so I decided that if I really wasnrsquot supposed to be on the

team my coach would just cut me during tryouts

Then one night at the gym I couldnrsquot focus on the game at all I felt

terrible and restless inside I came home frustrated with my team and

with myself I sat next to my mom and sister and cried I told them

how confused I was and my mom told me to pray and ask Heavenly

Father what He wanted me to do I went up to my room and began to

pray I told Heavenly Father how I felt then I asked Him to help mefeel peace if I was not supposed to continue playing volleyball I felt

His peace in my heart and knew that I needed to quit

Irsquom still not sure all the reasons why that was the right

decision but I know that itrsquos what the Lord

wanted me to do and thatrsquos a good

enough reason for me

The next morning I told my

coach and my teammates that

I wasnrsquot going to be playing

Even though it was incrediblyhard I knew I was doing

the right thing

Klaire B Arizona USA

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5052

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5152

you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5252

WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5052

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5152

you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5252

WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5152

you

hold

i your hds

the happiness

Imagine

ofmorepeople

When you choose whether to make or keep a covenant with

God you choose whether you will leave an inheritance of hope tothose who might follow your example

than you can now

N e w E r a

President Henry B Eyring First Counselor in the First Presidency

April 2014 general conference

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5252

WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY

8202019 New Era- August 2014pdf

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullnew-era-august-2014pdf 5252

WHATrsquoS ONLINE

As you think about marriage and

family this month donrsquot miss out

on these videos and articles

bull ldquoShining Forth in the Familyrdquo

at ldsorggoforthNE8

bull ldquoWhy Temple Marriagerdquo

at ldsorggotempleNE8

bull Mormonad ldquoYoursquore Coveredrdquo

at ldsorggocoveredNE8

bull ldquoMore Than lsquoJust a Momrsquordquo

at ldsorggomomNE8

NEW

MUSIC DOWNLOADS

Tune in to some inspiration

Download free music from artists

like BYU Menrsquos Chorus Mindy

Gledhill and Hillary Weeks Yoursquoll

find it at ldsorggoyouthmusic

New music is added regularly

If yoursquore planning a camp or youth

conference around this yearrsquos

Mutual theme (Moroni 1032)

donrsquot miss ldsorggotheme2014

See how other youth are coming

unto Christ in ldquoCome with Usrdquo and

ldquoStrengthened in the Lordrdquo and

share what yoursquore doing with

those around you

COMING UNTOCHRIST

MORE FOR SUNDAY LESSONS ON FAMILY