NEWSLETTER

January & February 2018

COMMODORE’S CORNER.

Well happy New Year to you all, I hope the festive season treated you all well and plenty of fishing was had by all. I know that our family managed a few hours on the water. BIG NEWS yet again we are the holders of both the Ngawi challenge and the gloat trophy even if the later was because both competitions where blown out by the weather and we all held the Gloat trophy so get to keep it. A great turn out in January saw our club beat Ngawi on their fishing grounds at Ngawi buy a very impressive 22.50 points average per angler. So a big thank you and well done to all that fished the day. Our club Captain Tony Kerr did a great job of rallying our troops and lead the way on the water as well. A big Thank you to the ground crews who helped out with tractor launching and food preparation ( Jan Warren, Liz Warren, Ian Warren, Ron Beil), a good night did follow at both the after match and the warrens batch as the photo below will show. Our most recent past commodore did manage to make a name for himself a couple of times over the break, one by

finally getting his Waka back on the water and running well, the other for over celebrating the festive season or may be pre celebration of our victory over Ngawi (not sure which)and decided to head butt Warricks tractor wheel on his return to his accommodation and did manage to spend a few ours a sleep on the ground ( K.O) followed by a visit to Doctor Warren in the morning ( who preceded to cut a rather large chunk of hair away from his head so everyone could see the hole there), he then took a trip to the hospital to be told he had concussion and then spent the following week head down at work away from anyone who knew what had happened and out of ear distance from his lovely wife. Moral of this story is when one is getting on in years one should remember when enough is enough and go home while one can still walk. I believe a set of lands lights now pave the way from house to accommodation and gin is off the agenda. Club days have taken place in both Jan & Feb with members getting out on the water and some very good fish caught, at the time of print I believe our mystery fish was caught this last comp weekend just awaiting confirmation to come through. A thank you must go out to Brendan & Liz Walker for their work with the weigh

station on club weekends a job which takes up a lot of time, So a very big thank you guys. A presentation was made at the Pukemanu on Thursday to the life fight trust for $4700, funds which were raised at our open fishing comp and topped up by the club and some very generous club members. A little bit of housekeeping now around the club tractor, please take note of the following, After launching your boat please remove your trailer from the tow ball and lock the tractor back up. Please use your extension draw bars when you have one (to stop our tractor from going into the salt water). When you return to land after fishing please place the tractor back in its parking spot, close the windows and lock the tractor back up( if unsure if any other club members are out, please lock up and park up). Our club require that all boats have there name on their trailer to make identification easy should there be a trailer left on the beach late in the day. Failure to comply with these rules could see your tractor keys removed. While on the tractor a thank you to Ron and his able assistant George for the ongoing maintenance and care of our tractor. The Ngawi big 3 has just finished and a well done must go out to their club for another well run event with trying weather condition. I hope you can all enjoy a few more good weekends fishing this summer and look forward to hearing about the ones you catch and the ones that get away.

Remember to get those photos in for the photo comp. I will leave you with some photos from over the break. Tight lines Gary Warren Commodore

Life Flight Rep. accepting our donation

Doctor

Warren , finishing his brain transplant on the

Editor!!!!.....(Thank you Ian & Jan.)

Club Captain Tony & Commodore Gary, Performing the “Puke “ ..”We beat ya’s” Table chant at Ian & Jan’s “Beer & Wine Bar”…(Tony had to stand on a table!)

NEXT COMPETITION DATE: 10th & 11th March .

TIDE & RADIO INFORMATION: Sat 10THMarch

High Tide 12.46 am

Low Tide 7.08 pm

Sun 11TH March

High Tide 1.37 am

Low Tide 7.4126 am

Radio Watch Channel 4.

First call up from 7.30 am

WeighMaster.

Brendan and Liz Walker : 33 Grey Street Martinborough. Phone: 3069615

I am MECHANICALLY ignorant, but I think I comprehend this TECHNICAL message!! The daughter asks her father, "Dad, there's something that my boyfriend said to me that I didn't understand. He said that I have fantastic bumper." Her Dad replied, "You tell your boyfriend that, if he opens your hood and tries to check your oil with his dipstick, I will tighten his nuts so hard that his headlights will pop out and he will start leaking out of his exhaust pipe." DECEMBER COMPETITION RESULTS: 1st Heath Riddell

PUKEMANU OPEN 2017 Main Sponsor- Wairarapa Hunting & Fishing SECTION SPONSORS 2017 The Boat Shed & Autos- Kahawai

King & Henry- Blue Cod Tunnell Tyres- Gurnard Gurnard

Tumu ITM Masterton - Kingfish Kingfish

Hire Shop – Greytown-Tarakihi Tarakihi

Plumbing World Masterton- Groper Groper

Auto Electrical Services(Wai )- Trumpeter

JUNIOR SECTION SPONSOR 2017. Anderson Hill.

Heaviest Fish:

Blue Cod: Brian Dennes 2.91

Gurnard: Jane Henson 1.47

Kahawai: Alan Cundy 2.57

Tarakihi: Heath Riddell 2.37

Trevally: Mike Turley 1.94

Barracoutta Gary Warren 4.88

Bluenose Alan Cundy 5.01

Groper Chris Simmonds 20.04

Kingfish Jacob Warren 13.56

Red Cod Owen Riddell 3.86

Recreational Fishers

On the political front it’s been pleasing to

see immediate and positive action from our

new government and the new Minister of

Fisheries (since the announcement that MPI

will be disestablished in favour of a separate

Fisheries, Forestry and agriculture ministry.)

It appears that our new leaders have a clear

and, to Quote the PM, relentlessly positive

path to resolving our shared fisheries issues.

We have lamented the lack of action for 9

years and been quite concerned by the

seemingly nonexistent space between

industry and MPI on the direction of our

shared fisheries. We now have a PM and

Minister of Fisheries saying the right things

- all we need is action!

When you’re out for a fish keep what you

need but don’t just keep catching because

you can. Fish are a finite resource and we all

want there to be some left for next time, the

time after or the first time our grand kids

want to get out for a fish!

Editor.

2nd Leisa Riddell 3rd John Leveridge Average Angler Darryl McCuish Average Blue Cod Charlie Baldwin Average Tarakihi NOT CAUGHT

Fred and Fiona were making passionate love

in Fred's Transit van when suddenly Fiona (

being a bit on the kinky side) yells out:

"Oh, fat boy, whip me, whip me!"

Fred, not wanting to pass up this unique

opportunity, obviously did not have any

whips to hand, but in a flash of inspiration,

opened the window, snaps the antenna off

his van and proceeds to whip Fiona until

they both collapse in sado-masochistic

ecstasy.

About a week later, Fiona notices that the

marks left by the whipping session are not

healing and starting to fester a bit so she

goes to the doctor.

The doctor takes one look at the wounds and

asks: "Did you get these marks having sex?"

Fiona a little too embarrassed that she had

even slept with Fred let alone allowed him

to indulge in her own kinky desires,

eventually admits that,"Yes, I did."

Nodding his head knowingly, the doctor

exclaims:

"I thought so, because in all my years as a

doctor, you've got the worst case of van

aerial disease that I've seen."

+

SPOT PRIZE & other SPONSORS

DAINES CONTRACTORS, PIRINOA

JOE KWONG ON’S TAKEAWAYS,

MARTINBOROUGH

CENTURY BATTERIES

MARTINBOROUGH MOTELS

DAWE’S CONSTRUCTION MASTERTON

HEAVEN SCENT FLORIST MASTERTON

VALLEY PLUMBING LTD MASTERTON

KURIPUNI BOOKSHOP MASTERTON

PLUMBING WORLD MASTERTON

TURKEY RED HOTEL GREYTOWN

WURTH AUTO PARTS, CARTERTON

EV’S BAR, CARTERTON

CARTERS MASTERTON

BUCKHORN BAR & GRILL CARTERTON

DAVE WILTON, MASTERTON

CHALLENGE GREYTOWN

SMITH HARE & CHRISTISON LTD CARTERTON

SELECT SIGNS MASTERTON

SWWMC , GREYTOWN

SPARKIES ELECTRICAL LTD MASTERTON

SOUTH WAIRARAPA GROOMERS GREYTOWN

SOUTH WAIRARAPA VETERINARY SERVICES

CARTERTON

KEINZLEY AGVET LTD CARTERTON

DONAGHYS Ltd NZ

WAIRARAPA ELECTRICAL & APPLIANCES

CARTERTON

STIHL SHOP GREYTOWN

LAMB PETERS PRINT GREYTOWN

MARGRAIN WINERY MARTINBOROUGH

CONEY WINES MARTINBOROUGH

CRIGHTON ITM, GREYTOWN

MASSON IMPLEMENTS LTD CARTERTON

SARGENT MOTORCYCLES CARTERTON

POPE & GRAY CONTRACTORS GREYTOWN

REPCO MASTERTON

BOC NZ

ACE PANEL & PAINT, MARTINBOROUGH

DOUGHERTY WINES

CALTEX, CHAPEL STREET

FAGAN MOTORS, MASTERTON

NORWOODS, MASTERTON

A1 HOMES

MARK’S SIGNS CARTERTON

BNT

BP MARTINBOROUGH

AUTO ELECTRICAL SERVICES MASTERTON

WELLINGTON FISHING CHARTERS

IAN & JANICE WARREN

MTF MASTERTON

TOM WILSON MOTORS

SEED FORCE NZ

WRIGHTSON SEEDS

PAN PAC

HELLA NZ

LINS AUTOS

PIONEER NZ

WILD BLUE TACKLE

TE KAIRANGA WINES

HALOZ HAIR STUDIO

CHARLIE BALDWIN

MORE FM

ASHDOWN INC.

CATT ELECTRICAL & ENGINEERING

MURDOCH JAMES WINERY

BILL STEPHENS ELECTRICAL

GT BOYD PLUMBING

CONEY WINES

PGG WRIGHTSON CARTERTON

KINTYRE MEATS

EWEN GLASS

THE VILLAGE GRINDER

SKIN & BODY BEAUTY

HOLLINGS FIRST ALUMINIUM

FAGAN SUZUKI

LANGLANDS MOTORCYCLES

MTF MASTERTON

MITRE 10 MARTINBOROUGH

ROOFING LND PAL-NTH

BP MARTINBOROUGH

COTTER & STEVENS MARTINBOROUGH

SUBWAY MASTERTON

NZME RADIO NETWORK

HBC LTD

WESTERN AUTO MART MASTERTON

BATTERY TOWN

JANE HENSEN

TUMU ITM

TICEHURST TIMBER CARTERTON

CARTERTON GLASS

CHRIS SIMMONDS BUILDER

Here are some interesting

Questions:

* Do twins ever realize that one of them is

unplanned?

* What if my dog only brings back my ball

because he thinks I like throwing it?

* If poison expires, is it more poisonous or

is it no longer poisonous?

* 100 years ago everyone owned a horse and

only the rich had cars. Today everyone has

cars and only the rich own horses.

* If you rip a hole in a net, there are actually

fewer holes in it than there were before.

New Year’s Day, Island Bay , Wellington.

Apparently the guy on the helm, cut his

lip & knocked out Four teeth while

swigging On a bottle of beer when this

happened….

That’s why I always take cans……

Jacob Warren with a nice 13.56

Kingi…well done bro!

January Fishing Results

1st Alan Cundy

2nd Heath Riddell

3rd Craig Hayes

Average Angler CeeJay

Dennes 180.26

Average Blue Cod: Warwick

Anderson 1.44

Average Tarakihi: Brian

Dennes 1.43

A fine 15 kg Kingfish, speared off

Tora by Danny White….(Dan’s first

Kingi!! Great shot Buddy!)…when will

You sharpen my spear you “rock-

fished” for me over new year??????

A golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to the hospital Just before he was put under, the surgeon popped in to see him. "I have some good news and some bad news," says the surgeon. "The bad news is that I have to remove your right arm!" "Oh God no!" cries the man "My golfing is over! Please Doc, what's the good news?" "The good news is, I have another one to replace it with, but it's a woman's arm and I'll need your permission before I go ahead with the transplant" "Go for it doc," says the man, "as long as I can play golf again." The operation went well and a year later the man was out on the golf course when he bumped into the surgeon.

"Hi, how's the new arm?" asks the surgeon. "Just great," says the businessman. "I'm playing the best golf of my life. My new arm has a much finer touch and my putting has really improved." "That's great," said the surgeon. "Not only that," continued the golfer, "my handwriting has improved, I've learned how to sew my own clothes and I've even taken up painting landscapes in watercolors." "That's unbelievable!" said the surgeon, "I'm so glad to hear the transplant was such a great success. Are you having any side effects?""Well, just two, said the golfer, "I have trouble parallel parking and every time I get an erection, I get a headache."

This “do not use” sign was put up at the NGAWI BIG 3 on the weekend…….the organisers heard JK Was in the competition & wanted to make sure he Did’nt Pee on the floor like he does at Ev’s Bar….

English Joke:::

On the first day back at school in London,

England....

Ahmed Al Sheriah

………………………………"here"

Mustafa Al Sheriah

…………………………….."here"

Fatima El Bindiri

……………………………….."here"

Ali Acmah Shabeeb

……………………………"here"

Ali Sun Al En ……………………..No

answer....

Ali Sun Al En?

Little girl at the back stands up and yells

........

"It's pronounced Alison Allen, for fuck

sake!!..

Apparently Charlie Baldwin

received x3 of these

Cards at Christmas!!!

What have you been up

to Charlie????

Sender:

Pukemanu Boating & Fishing

Club

C/- 34 Mole Street Greytown

5712