no excuse ch 1

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Own Your Choices

Winning Way 1

People say to me, you were a roaring success.How did you do it? I go back to what my parents

taught me. Apply yourself. Get all the education you can,but then, by God, do something. Dont just stand there;

make something happen.

Lee Iacocca, president and CEO, Chrysler1

The first principle of this book is so important that Imgoing to let you in on a little secret right up front: If thisprinciple describes your approach to life, then you dontneed my book. If you are someone who already takes respon-sibility for the choices you make and the consequences thatmay follow, then you are clearly nota member of the WhineClub. You wont find much in the following pages you dontalready know and practice. For everyone else, stick around

to learn how you can catch up. Heres what youll learn to getyou back on track:

Why we enjoy blaming others so much.

The difference between mistakes and choices.

The 10 stops and starts of owning your choices.

How you can move from being a Whiner in

Denial to a Winner in Demand.


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The No Excuse Guide to Success46

Breaking the Whining HabitMaybe you think that breaking the whining habit should

be easy enough to docertainly no more difficult than jetti-soning other counterproductive, life-limiting behaviors fromyour life. You simply make up your mind to change andvoil!the next time a whining opportunity presents itself,youll change course like a train switching its tracks, andhead in a new and more productive direction.

Once youve accepted the rapid-switch fantasy, then its

very easy to imagine the new you out there taking respon-sibility and owning the consequences of all your decisions.From this day forward, you say to yourself after youveinternalized this new, liberating, life-changing epiphany, Iwill no longer blame others, and I willtake full responsibil-ity for all my actions. When I mess up I will absolutelyacceptboth the blame and consequences of my actions!

You feel lightheaded and giddy as you imagine yourworld up to now and then envision your new world from thismoment on! In fact, you may feel so good about your deci-sion that you call your best friend to share the news.

Whats up, BFF? you say with excitement in your voice.Ive got awesome news!

Oh, really? Tell me! your friend says.You know that annoying tendency I have always had to

never take responsibility for absolutely anythingyou know,the habit that you say just drives you nuts?

Yes.

Well, its gone! Kaput! Not happening anymore. Imdone with that. From now on personal responsibility will

be my middle name! From now on, Im going to be known asa doer, not a whiner. What do you think?

[Silence.]


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Own Your Choices 47

Hey, buddy? You there?

Yes, your friend says. Sorry, I was just noting this day

on my calendar so that I can remind you of this conversationthe next time you tell me that your boss is a half-wit whoignores all your ideas.

The Natural State o BlameBlaming comes so naturally to us its almost a knee-jerk

reaction. Someone stops speaking to you for a minor mis-understandingits their problem, not yours. You get firedfrom your jobits your managers fault because he didntappreciate your contributions. Your business or sales teamloses customers or key clientsits the economys fault. Youand your spouse or significant other dont get alongits hisor her fault.

Although its true that friends are sometimes unreason-able, bosses are often unfair, the world economy can be crueland heartless, or those closest to you may be in need of someone-on-one time with Dr. Phil, at the end of the day the onlypertinent question worth asking is this: What am I going todo about it? Like my mom always said, Lifes not fair. Getused to it and get over it.

Heres a recent example of the blame game in action. Irecently called the lost and found department of a car rentalcompany to inform them that I had left my Day-Timer andlaptop power cord in the car I had recently rented. Afterwaiting on hold for close to 10 minutes, the sales agent whofinally picked up the phone apologized and promised a re-turn call within 20 minutes. Of course, I got no follow-upcall, so I proactively called again, and got the same well

call you back in 20 minutes answer. On my third call backto the car rental agency, I was promised an end of the dayreturn call.


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Finally, two days and several more phone calls (one witha manager) later, I talked with the same sale representative

who had not called me back initially. She offered to help, butfirst blamed the company and her boss for not staffing thefront desk properly during busy, peak times of the day. Shenever said she was sorry for my inconvenience or frustration.That was her story, and she was sticking to it.

My Own Blame Game Story

I shake my head in dismay when I think about my earlyyears in the corporate setting. Believe it or not, I learnedto play the blame game very well. I began to look to othersas the root cause of negative outcomes or failures. It wasa predictable routine: Id spend time thinking the situationthrough, clearly considering my role in the outcome. Once Iwas sure that Id left no stone unturned as to my own culpa-

bility, the finger-pointing and denial began. I didnt own mystuff, and I made excuses. It was mystory, and I stuck to it!

We all know at some level that this blame game behavioris a road to nowhere. But like a lot of others who have madea radical shift in their approach to life or experienced a pro-found attitude change, it took a singularly awful and painfulexperience to convince me that I needed to take my life in a

different direction.Eighteen years ago I was a novice, but highly motivat-

ed management development training consultant for theVanguard Group. Although I liked my job, what I reallywanted to be was an internationally known motivationalspeaker and a successful professional development consul-tant and trainer. So when a seasoned motivational trainer

(with a big reputation) showed up to conduct a one-day di-versity-awareness session at my company, I took this as a signfrom above that this was the right time to make my move.


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Own Your Choices 49

I introduced myself, and within three months I was trav-eling around the country presenting my own brand of diver-

sity training as a subcontract employee of the training firmknown as Tim Golden and Associates; it didnt take long forTim to become my mentor and trusted friend. One day a cli-ent who had taken a particular interest in my diversity train-ing style and approach, confided that they were going to endTims training contract. I was asked to continue providingtraining as an independent contractor until a new training

firm was found.When I approached Tim about taking the offer from the

client company after his contract was terminated, he gotangry, even though I was an independent subcontractor andnot technically his employee. In spite of his ire, I stayed onwith the client and continued training. I reasoned that if hewas doing a credible job they would not have ended the con-

tractat least, thats what they told me.That decision ended a valued relationship and, instead

of facing the possibility that my own ethical compass wasaskew, I shifted the blame away from me through rational-ization and blame shifting. The truth is that I made a horri-ble choice, and its a choice I regret to this day. I just couldntadmit that my friend was absolutely right.

For me, this incident was the beginning of a blame gamemetamorphosis. The incident made crystal clear for me thehuge difference between choices and mistakes. I realizedwith shocking clarity that I had made an awful choice in thesituationnot a mistake. I could have chosen a much betterpath, but I didnt. I now take responsibility for that choice.


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Choices and Mistakes: Whats the

Diference?Andy Andrews nailed the difference between choices

and mistakes with unrivaled clarity in his classic book, TheNoticer.2 I was simply captivated by the following descrip-tion. Andrews writes:

If one makes a mistake, then an apology is usu-ally sufficient to get things back on an even keel.

Howeverand this is a big howevermost peopledo not ever know why their apology did not seem tohave any effect. It is simply that they did not make amistake; they made a choice...and never understoodthe difference between the two.

If you are lost, wandering through a forest inthe dark, unable to see, unaware that a cliff is nearby,

and you stumble off the cliff and break your neckthat is a mistake. But lets say its broad daylight.You are meandering about in a forest youve beentold never to enter. There are No Trespassing signseverywhere, but you think you can slip in and slipout and not get caught. Now, again lets say you falloff a cliff and break your neck...that, my friend, was

not a mistake. It was a conscious choice.When one simply makes a mistake, an apology

an Im sorrywill usually handle the situation.But when a choice has been identified, the only wayto repair a relationship is by exhibiting true remorseand seeking forgiveness. Now in some cases, wheremoney or property might have been involved, you

should offer restitution, but showing real remorseand actually asking the question Will you pleaseforgive me? is the only pathway to a new beginningin your business or personal life.


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Own Your Choices 51

The Big Reg StoryHeres another example of this important concept about

the difference between choices and mistakes, and the powerof taking responsibility for both.

I met Reggie Hines in 1979 during my freshman yearat Widener University. Big Reg and I were members of thefootball team, and he was probably one of the best and mostgifted athletes I ever knew. He was 64 and carried around235 pounds of muscle that he could translate into bursts of

amazing speed and gridiron agility. Whereas many freshmenwere happy to just make the varsity team, Reg played andstarted every game at tight end his freshman season, winningseveral offensive awards for his efforts.

Unfortunately, Big Reg transferred from Widener afteronly one year and enrolled at West Chester University(Pennsylvania). He earned All-Conference honors and wenton to set a number of school records over the next couple ofyears, earning tryouts with the Dallas Cowboys and otherNFL teams. It was a time of great possibility for Big Reg. Hewas living his dream and the hopes and dreams of his entirefamilyalways a big weight to carry.

Then the Cowboys and other teams took a pass on theopportunity to sign Big Reg to a long-term contract. Thiswas a big disappointment to the normally positive, can-doathlete, and he wasnt equipped to handle it in the end.

He gave up his dreams and moved on with his lifeor so he thought. He got married, and started a family anda successful family auto-detailing business. But his failureto make a life as a professional football player constantlynagged and taunted him. Like many others whove had bigdisappointments in life, Reg turned to drugs for relief, whichled inevitably to the loss of everything he once valued, in-cluding his family.


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After several near-death scrapes, Big Reg did eventu-ally decide to take responsibility for his life and decisions,

and charted a new path for his life. Heres what he told meabout his transformational experience as we sat at the famedPalestra watching the University of Pennsylvania and DrexelUniversity go at it for 40 spirited minutes on the basketballcourt:

I blamed the Dallas Cowboys for not giving me afair shot. I blamed the New York Giants for bring-

ing me to camp and building up my hope after theyhad just won the Super Bowl with the two great tightends they already had. I blamed my ex-wife for notbeing more understanding and supportive. I blamedmy agent for not getting me more tryouts. I blamedeverybody. But over the years Ive had time to reflecton everything and I now realize it was my fault. Im

just blessed to still be living and to have the wonder-ful children, friends, and career that I have.

Big Regs story is a great example of how owning yourchoices and outcomes is so liberating. He made a consciouschoice to change his mindset and choose a different way ofinteracting with the world. He said he made changes acrossthe board, from strengthening his religious faith, to his dress

and choice of associates, to his physical health and his con-nection to, and involvement in, his community. As my ownmentor and friend, Mike Jones routinely points out to meduring our coaching calls:

Life is not what youve been taught; its what you be-lieve. Its not what youve experienced; its the choicesyouve made as a result. Its not about what happened

to you, its about how youve remembered it. Its notwhat challenges have come your way; its what youveseen as challenging. Its not what has appeared on


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Own Your Choices 53

your path; it is what you have accepted. When we ac-cept personal responsibility for our lives, everything

is possible.

10 Stops and Starts to Owning Your ChoicesSo, how do you get started on owning your choices? Its

not really that hard. Its not rocket science or brain surgeryor even as hard as driving through a thunderstorm with badwindshield wipers. You just have to decide to get started. But

be forewarned: If you want to own your choices and takepersonal responsibility for your actions, youll need to makea significant mindset shift away from your old habits, espe-cially if you want your new attitude to stick and become away of life. But it can be done.

The following are the steps I share with leaders, manag-ers, individuals, and students around the world as I encour-

age them to embrace their personal power and to own theirchoices. Its a message that crosses cultures and customs. Itsthe first step in a process that sets in motion the cycle of tak-ing responsibility that empowers and leads to the achieve-ment of your goals in life. These 10 points are easy to readand visualize accomplishing, and all it takes to accomplishthem are your personal dedication, strength of character,

and patience. So, what do you have to lose except your oldpractices that are guaranteed to fail you?


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10 Stops and Starts to Owning Your Choices

Stop

1. Stop being defensive when youre held account-able for your poor choices.

2. Stop being irritable and angry when you dontget your way.

3. Stop looking for whats wrong with the otherperson.

4. Stop being a victim.

5. Stop thinking negatively (and masking it by say-ing youre just keeping it real).

Start

6. Start saying I got this! when the going getstough.

7. Start asking for specific, clear feedback forimprovement.

8. Start listening without judging.

9. Start focusing on the possibility and not theproblem.

10. Start following through on your promises. Period.


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Own Your Choices 55

The Details

1. Stop being defensive when youre held account-

able for your poor choices. The next time yourboss or manager confronts you with a mistake orpoor choice youve made, dont start with a denialand put up an impenetrable defensive wall. If youkeep doing this, youll soon start to believe yourexcuses. Take time to focus on why you resort tothis tactic. Embrace feedback. Consider it a gift.

Learn from your choices and move on. Put downthe boxing gloves. If someone is helping you witha character-building moment, just say, Thankyou, and make the necessary adjustments.

2. Stop becoming irritable and angry when youdont get your way. I know people with a 0-to-60 temper thats faster than an Indianapolis 500

race car. You can see it in their eyes as all their en-ergy and body language coalesce around the dis-appointment of not getting their way. Im goingto keep it real here: Grow up! Stop being self-ish and self-centered. The world doesnt revolvearound you! There are always two sides to everysituation. Lean into your discomfort. Seek alter-

natives. Grow and learn from the nos. Its easyto get mad. Its what most people do. Winnersare always looking for ways to grow, not just gothrough adversity.

3. Stop looking for whats wrong with the otherperson. Come on. You can do it. Tilt the mir-ror your way. Even the late entertainer Michael

Jackson has some advice for you here in the fa-mous 1987 song Man in the Mirror: Im look-ing at the man in the mirror; Im asking him to


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change his ways.3 Until you accept the possibilitythat you may be wrong, you will be stuck perma-

nently blaming others. Mike Jones, my mentor,hit the sweet spot when he explained to me thatwe all have maps created through our upbringingand experiences. Unfortunately, we get in troublewhen we think our map should be standardizedacross all humanity. Simply look in before youlook out to blame others; check for your own

responsibility.4. Stop being a victim. As a recovered victim, I

know firsthand how easy it is to fall into thistrap. Being a victim is easier than being respon-sible. You feel as though everyone is against you.Its never your fault. At a subconscious level, youbegin to believe that you wear a bulls-eye target

on your back and the world is constantly targetpracticing. Change the script. Change your ap-proach. Change your mind-set. Move from vic-tim to victor!

5. Stop thinking negatively (and masking it bysaying youre just keeping it real). Negativityabounds in our society. Its more prevalent than

green grass on a golf course. Im amazed by thenumber of people in my life, both professionallyand personally, who routinely think and respondin negative terms. Simply put, you are what youthink, say, and do. What you focus on becomesyourfocus. Its not a hard concept to understand,but its exceptionally hard to put into practice.Rod Hairston, in his inspirational book,Are YouUp for The Challenge? says this about positiveand negative thinking:


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Own Your Choices 57

You will bring into your life whatever youconsistently hold in your thoughts. The

thoughts that you send out will show upin your life. When I ask people, What doyou really want? most people start theiranswer with, Well, I know what I dontwant.... Or, theyll say, I dont want to beexhausted, or I dont want to be angry allthe time. Unfortunately, thats how weve

been trained our whole lives. We weretaught to think about what we dont want,so this thinking becomes automatic. If youspend your time thinking about what youdont want, thats what youll attract: moreof what you dont want.4

Whats hard about that concept? Once again,

whether or not you follow through is your decision.6. Start saying I got this! when the going gets

tough. The best athletes thrive when the pres-sure is the greatest. Up to bat when the bases areloaded? No problem. Taking an overtime pen-alty shot when the division championship hangsin the balance? No worries. Professional athletes

thrive on the exhilaration found on the other sideof tough challengesa 90-yard drive toward theend zone in the last 59 seconds of the game or aHail Mary shot across the length of the basket-ball court that swooshes through the net as thebuzzer sounds. Do these incredible scenarios al-ways happen? Of course not, but the possibilityof any other possibility playing out never crossesthe mind of a seasoned athlete. From beginning


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to end, these athletes take responsibility for thefinal outcome. They have an accountability

mind-set. Remember: Winners work to createthe outcomes they want. Whiners just complainabout the final score and pass the blame to some-one else.

7. Start asking for specific, clear feedback for im-provement. Feedback and coaching have played asignificant role in my life. I live for and welcome

it. Its absolutely true that seeing yourself as oth-ers see you is nearly impossible. Humans are notbuilt for this sort of self-examination. You cantsee the skyline if youre stuck in the traffic. Ofcourse Im not suggesting taking all feedback asthe gospel truth. Not everyone has your best in-terests at heart. No surprise there. The trick is to

use your Titans, mentors, and true friends togive you both praise (what you do well) and pol-ish (what you should consider doing differently).

One of my Titans, Annie Hart, founder andowner of Breakthrough Coaching, Training andStorytelling, asked me during one of our coach-ing sessions if I ever get flustered or lose control

of the room when Im training or speaking. I an-swered, No. She then asked me if I get flusteredand lose control at home during heated discus-sions. I admitted I did. Then she asked me if Imight use the same techniques and tools at homeas I do when training or speaking. I felt like I justwon the lottery. She helped me to see somethingId never considered before. I know it seems ob-vious, but, as noted, self-awareness is not one ofour core competencies. Finally (and this is key),


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Own Your Choices 59

during your feedback moments, listen and dontinterrupt, and make sure you understand the

feedback. Here, the I-know-what-you-think-I-said-but-thats-not-what-I-said principle applies.

8. Start listening without judging. Do you listen tounderstand, or do you listen to criticize or findfault? Do you find yourself anxiously waiting forthe other person to pause for a half-second soyou can launch in with your own comments or

pursue your own agenda? Its a good thing werenot given pop quizzes at the end of these one-sid-ed conversations. One of the reasons people dontremember the feedback or instructions theyregiven is because their focus is to find fault withwhat the other person is saying. Or perhaps theperson getting feedback is actively determining

whether or not he should listen based on what hebelieves to be true. How often have you said, dur-ing a conversation, Thats not what I said? Wejump to judge! Stop being defensive. Stop right-fighting. You should ask the person youre hav-ing a conversation with whether or not she feelsyoure actively listening. Put down your judgesgavel and give new information a chance.

9. Start focusing on the possibility and not the prob-lem. I alluded to this somewhat in Stop 5. MikeJones, my mentor and empowerment expert,coined the acronym FOTO (focus on the out-come). We tend to focus on the distractions, thecircumstances, the barriers, and the hurdles, andwe give those factors way too much power andtime. What you believe to be true generally turnsout to be your reality. It really is standard pop


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psychology, but nothing could be more dead-onaccurate. If you believe you can start your own

company and take your idea or talents to new lev-els, then youve taken the most important step.Belief must come before the howin order to makeit happen. Whine Club members spend most oftheir time focusing on what might go wrong. Youshould focus on what you know willgo right. Asmotivational guru and author Rod Hairston says:

Focus on possibilities and on the compel-ling future youre working toward, insteadof dwelling on doubts and on an imperfectpast. Focus on growing and expanding in-stead of fearfully staying in your comfortzone. Focus on abundance instead of scar-city. Focus on what is right with your life

instead of whats wrong. When you do that,youll give energy to the things you want inyour life, which will help manifest them.5

10. Start following through on your promises.Period. This final point requires some bulletpoints for emphasis:

STOP trying. START doing.

Keep everyone in the loop.Communicate.

Just say no if you dont really believeyour own promise.

Know that any financial promise not ful-filled is alwaysa bad idea.

Base your follow-up promise on whatyou have control over.

You likely could add to these bullet points,but the point is clear: You do have some control


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Own Your Choices 61

over the promises you make and, given how mosthumans operate, people do not delete their dis-

appointment files. So, just take responsibilityand get something done.

Own Your Choices: A Winning

Sustainability PlanNow that youve got the basics down, its time to put

some action plans in place. The following exercise is de-signed to help you take that next step.

If the first step toward change is your realization thatsomething has to change, the following exercise should helpyou take that first step. Its designed to let you make broadobservations and commitments to change. Well get to morespecific techniques later in the book, but for now, getting

something down on paper is the goal. If youd rather do thisdigitally, go to www.noexcuses.com and jot down your an-swers there.

The following is a set of circumstances and choices thatapply to most of us. You will find two prompts per situationor topic. One is an Up to Nowprompt, and the other is aFrom Now On prompt. You should find doing this exercise

not that stressful and it should condition you for the harderwork that follows.

Stops and Starts Exercise

Think about how you have conducted your own life upuntil now. If possible, you should do this contemplationwhen you are not rushed or distracted by anything else. So

try not to do this exercise while watching reruns ofSaturdayNight Live, while listening to NPR, or during your commute


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on the train or bus. You really need to do some serious self-assessment for this activity to do you any good.

When youre ready, answer the following questionsbased on the 10 Stops and Starts of taking responsibility. Behonest. No one is watching or listening. If you can do this,then youve already made progress with taking responsibilityfor yourself. Be forewarned: You may be surprised (or evenfrightened) by what you learn about yourself. On the positiveside, think of the exercise as a time machine; you now have

a chance to rewrite history.Stop being defensive when someone holds

you accountable for your poor choices.

Think of a recent situation or circumstancewhen your poor choices resulted in someone

holding you accountable. How did you react? Did you reactin a defensive way? Heres your chance to rewrite history.

First, describe your current way of dealing with these ac-countability situations (Up to Now). Then, jot down whatyou think would have been a better way to deal with the situ-ation or circumstance (From Now On).

Up to Now: When Im in a situation or a circumstancelike this, I

.

Stop


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Own Your Choices 63

From Now On: When Im in this situation or circum-stance I will

.

Stop being irritable and angry when you dont

get your way.

Think of a situation or circumstance whenyou immediately went red-zone after you didnt

get your way. Why did you blow up? Was it a situation youexperienced before? Did you do all that you could to avoidthe outcome? First, describe your current way of dealingwith these accountability situations (Up to Now). Then, jot

down what you think would have been a better way to dealwith the situation or circumstance (From Now On).

Up to Now: When Im in a situation or a circumstancelike this I

.


.

Stop


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Stop looking for whats wrong with the otherperson.

Think of a recent situation or circumstancewhen you totally focused on what the other per-

son did rather than on your role in the circumstance or situ-ation. How did you react? Did you react in a defensive way?Did you consider what you did to create the situation? Doyou typically focus on the other person? First, describe yourcurrent way of dealing with these accountability situations

(Up to Now). Then, jot down what you think would be abetter way to deal with the situation or circumstance (FromNow On).


.


.

Stop being a victim.

Think of a recent situation or circumstance

when you went into victim mode. What contrib-uted to your feeling of helplessness? Is it a feeling

you routinely experience? Did you do all that you could to

Stop

Stop


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Own Your Choices 65

avoid the outcome? First, describe your current way of deal-ing with these accountability situations (Up to Now). Then,

jot down what you think would be a better way to deal withthe situation or circumstance (From Now On).


.


.

Stop thinking negatively (and masking it bysaying youre just keeping it real).


when you attempted to mask your negativity bysaying that you were just keeping it real. Why did you reactthis way? Did the other person or group pick up on yournegative energy? Is thinking negatively something that youtypically do before finding something positive? How is thisworking for you? First, describe your current way of dealingwith these negativity situations (Up to Now). Then, jot down

what you think would be a better way to deal with the situa-tion or circumstance (From Now On).

Stop


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.


.

Start saying I got this! when the going getstough.

Think of a recent situation or circumstancewhen you shied away from assuming responsibil-

ity. Why didnt you step up? Was it a situation you experi-enced before? Were you afraid? Were you worrying abouthow the other person would react? First, describe your cur-

rent way of dealing with these accountability situations (Upto Now). Then, jot down what you think would be a betterway to deal with the situation or circumstance (From NowOn).


.

Start


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Own Your Choices 67


.

Start asking for specific, clear feedback for

improvement.

Think of a recent situation or circumstancewhen you avoided asking for feedback that might

have created a different outcome. Why? How do you typi-cally respond to polish feedback? What are your thoughtsabout being a lifelong learner? When are you more receptiveto feedback? First, describe your current way of dealing with

these feedback situations (Up to Now). Then, jot down whatyou think would be a better way to deal with the situation orcircumstance (From Now On).


.


.

Start


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Start listening without judging.


when you judged during a conversation ratherthan listening to what the other person was say-

ing. Why were you judgmental? Are you usually this way?What was it about the other person that contributed to yourjudgmental behavior? Do you ever consider that you maybe wrong? First, describe your current way of dealing withthese accountability situations (Up to Now). Then, jot down

what you think would be a better way to deal with the situa-tion or circumstance (From Now On).


.


.

Start focusing on the possibility and not theproblem.


when you focused totally on the obstacle ratherthan the opportunity. Is this a trend for you? Do you find iteasier to focus on what can go wrong rather than what can

Start

Start


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Own Your Choices 69

go right? Do you consider yourself a problem-solver? Do youfind that what you focus on grows? First, describe your cur-

rent way of dealing with lifes challenges (Up to Now). Then,jot down what you think would be a better way to deal withthese situations or circumstances (From Now On).


.


.

Start following through with what you saidyou were going to do.

Think of a recent situation or circumstancewhen you disappointed someone because you

didnt follow through with what you said you were going todo. What went wrong? Did you overcommit? Is this a trend?How did you rectify the situation? If there was another per-son involved did he or she accept your apology? Can peopletrust you? Do people believe in you? First, describe your

current way of dealing with these accountability situations(Up to Now). Then, jot down what you think would be abetter way to deal with the situation or circumstance (FromNow On).

Start


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.


.

Whats Next?Now you know how to own your choices. In Winning

Way 2, youll examine the important step of focusing onpositive outcomes and expecting success.

STOP and START Personal Action PlanSTOP using these typical excuses for not

owning your choices: Well, I didnt mean to do it.

If someone was offended because ofwhat I said, then I am sorry.

If she had only done her part thingswould have worked out.

If he wasnt so serious he would be ableto see that I was only playing.

Stop


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Own Your Choices 71

START using these timely exclamations forowning your choices:

Beginning today I will own my stuff. I will take full responsibility for my in-

tent and for my impact.

I will examine my past and make thenecessary changes. Im in charge of me.

It was my fault and Im going to fix it!

START, STOP, CONTINUE DOING Habits

Now that youve given some thought to owning yourchoices as a way to rid your life of excuse making, add otherSTART Doing, STOP Doing, and CONTINUE Doing habitsthat will help you attain this goal.

I will START Doing:

I will STOP Doing:

Start

Start

Stop


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I will CONTINUE Doing:

Twitter/Facebook Af rmations

Post or tweet your one key takeaway thought, quote,phrase, or lesson learned in this chapter. Enlist your socialnetwork community of friends and colleagues to supportyour efforts to make positive changes in your life.

Make a note of your Twitter or Facebook post here:

Continue

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