No matter what, the husband is commanded to love

his wife.

No matter what, the husband is commanded to love

his wife.

Matthew 5:44Matthew 5:444444 “But I say to you, love “But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good who curse you, do good to those who hate you, to those who hate you, and pray for those who and pray for those who spitefully use and spitefully use and persecute you.”persecute you.”

The supreme responsibility of the husbandThe supreme responsibility of the husbandis to love his wife.is to love his wife.

The supreme responsibility of the husbandThe supreme responsibility of the husbandis to love his wife.is to love his wife.

This is when he is most like God.This is when he is most like God.

Ephesians 5:25, 28Ephesians 5:25, 28

2525 Husbands, love your Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave loved the church and gave Himself up for her.Himself up for her. 2828 So So husbands ought to love husbands ought to love their own wives as their their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.his wife loves himself.

Let us read together:Let us read together:5.25.2

Ephesians 5:29, 33Ephesians 5:29, 332929 For no one ever hated his For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord cherishes it, just as the Lord does the Church.does the Church.3333 Nevertheless let each one of Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects the wife see that she respects her husband.her husband.

Let us read together:Let us read together:

Colossians 3:19Colossians 3:19

1919 Husbands, love your wives Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward and do not be bitter toward them.them.

Let us read together:Let us read together:

What does it mean to love?What does it mean to love?What does it mean to love?What does it mean to love?

Ephesians 5:25, 28Ephesians 5:25, 28

2525 Husbands, love your Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave loved the church and gave Himself up for her.Himself up for her. 2828 So So husbands ought to love husbands ought to love their own wives as their their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.his wife loves himself.

Let us revisit Ephesians:Let us revisit Ephesians:

2525 Husbands, love your Husbands, love your wives, just wives, just asas Christ also Christ also loved the church and gave loved the church and gave Himself up for her.Himself up for her. 2828 So So husbands ought to love husbands ought to love their own wives their own wives asas their their own bodies; he who loves own bodies; he who loves his wife his wife as as he loves himself.he loves himself.

a powerful analogya powerful analogy

limitless

indulgent

insatiable

If we were as selfless If we were as selfless toward our wives as we toward our wives as we are selfish for ourselves are selfish for ourselves

we would have fewer we would have fewer divorces.divorces.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a1 Corinthians 13:4-8a44 Love suffers long and is kind; Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; parade itself, is not puffed up; 55 does not behave rudely, does not does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; thinks no evil; 66 does not rejoice in does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 77

bears all things, believes all bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things, hopes all things, endures all things. things. 88

Love never fails. Love never fails.

What does it mean to love?What does it mean to love?What does it mean to love?What does it mean to love?44 Love suffers long and is kind; Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; parade itself, is not puffed up; 55 does not behave rudely, does not does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, seek its own, is not provokedis not provoked, , thinks no evil; thinks no evil; 66 does not rejoice in does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 77

bears all things, believes all bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things, hopes all things, endures all things. things. 88

Love never fails. Love never fails.

Love that is Love that is UnconditionalUnconditional

16 16 For God so For God so lovedloved the the world that He gave His world that He gave His only begotten Son, that only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him whoever believes in Him should not perish but should not perish but have everlasting life.have everlasting life.

John 3:16 John 3:16

God loves the unlovable and undeserving.God loves the unlovable and undeserving.God loves the unlovable and undeserving.God loves the unlovable and undeserving.

5.35.3

Daily Walk Bible, Walk Thru the Bible

How do we husbands know when we are loving our wives properly, biblically? It’s when we love them unconditionally. What does that mean?

It is NOT a “because” love. I love you because you are beautiful…because you are talented…because you make me feel special.

It is NOT a “when” love. I love you when you are good…when you are faithful…when you are obedient.

It is NOT an “if” love. I love you if you please me…if you don’t hurt me…if you measure up to my expectations.

It IS a “constant” love. I love you, period. No conditions, no “fine print,” no time table. It is the same kind of love God commands that we have for an enemy. (You don’t have to “like” what your enemy does, but we are committed to their welfare at all times. If our love is unconditional, we can not treat them disrespectfully, unkindly, nor do anything that isn’t for the express purpose of their good.)

Love that is Love that is SacrificialSacrificial

1313 Greater love has no one Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. one’s life for his friends. John 15:13 John 15:1388 But God demonstrates But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in His own love toward us, in that while we were still that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 5:8 Romans 5:8

To be genuine love must cost me something.To be genuine love must cost me something.To be genuine love must cost me something.To be genuine love must cost me something.

Love that is Love that is LoyalLoyal2424 No one can serve two No one can serve two masters; for either he will masters; for either he will hate the one and love the hate the one and love the other, or else he will be other, or else he will be loyal to the one and loyal to the one and despise the other. despise the other.

Matthew 6:24Matthew 6:24

A successful marriage A successful marriage requires falling in love requires falling in love again and again and again and again and again with the same again with the same

woman, with no hints woman, with no hints of disloyalty.of disloyalty.

5.35.3

1. Love your wife because God 1. Love your wife because God commands you to _______.commands you to _______.

A. A. Present tense – Present tense – I am to love I am to love _______________._______________.

AGAPEAGAPE

CONTINUALLYCONTINUALLY

Not here and there – all the time…

1. Love your wife because God 1. Love your wife because God commands you to _______.commands you to _______.AGAPEAGAPE

B. B. Active voiceActive voice – I am to love – I am to love ___________.___________.

A. A. Present tense – Present tense – I am to love I am to love _______________._______________.CONTINUALLYCONTINUALLY

ACTIVELYACTIVELY

True love is WORK!True love is WORK!One must get intentional.One must get intentional.

True love is WORK!True love is WORK!One must get intentional.One must get intentional.

1. Love your wife because God 1. Love your wife because God commands you to _______.commands you to _______.AGAPEAGAPE

B. B. Active voiceActive voice – I am to love – I am to love ___________.___________.

A. A. Present tense – Present tense – I am to love I am to love _______________._______________.CONTINUALLYCONTINUALLY

ACTIVELYACTIVELYC. C. Imperative mood – Imperative mood – I am to love I am to love

by my ________.by my ________.CHOICECHOICE

Choose to make love

emerge.

2. Love your wife as Christ “loved 2. Love your wife as Christ “loved the church” and give yourself the church” and give yourself ________________.________________.SACRIFICIALLYSACRIFICIALLY

Exploding the Myths That Could Destroy America, Erwin Lutzer

The husband is responsible for putting (his wife’s) needs above his own. In practical terms this means if there is enough money for only one suit of clothes, his wife should be preferred. If his job requires that he be separated from his family more often than his wife can tolerate, he should trust God for a different vocation. His goal should not be to make himself successful but rather to make his wife satisfied.

2. Love your wife as Christ “loved 2. Love your wife as Christ “loved the church” and give yourself the church” and give yourself ________________.________________.

A. Sacrifice means to A. Sacrifice means to give up something give up something I ______ for I ______ for something she something she ________.________.

SACRIFICIALLYSACRIFICIALLY

WANTWANT

WANTSWANTS

2. Love your wife as Christ “loved 2. Love your wife as Christ “loved the church” and give yourself the church” and give yourself ________________.________________.

A. Sacrifice means to give up A. Sacrifice means to give up something I ______ for something something I ______ for something she ________.she ________.

SACRIFICIALLYSACRIFICIALLY

WANTWANTWANTSWANTS

B. Christ loved His church enough to B. Christ loved His church enough to make the ultimate ____________.make the ultimate ____________.SACRIFICESACRIFICE

3. Love your wife and do not become 3. Love your wife and do not become ________________ toward her.toward her.BITTERBITTER

This special warning concerns a foul blot in married life, when the husband as head . . . either shows bitterness in word or deed, or in tone, to the wife . . . Or treats her with indifference, neglect, or harshness.

Karl Braune

A husband loves his wife not for who she is, but for who he is.

A husband loves his wife not for who she is, but for who he is.

3. Love your wife and do not become3. Love your wife and do not become ________________ toward her.toward her.A. A. BitterBitter means to be sharp, cutting, means to be sharp, cutting,

_______._______.B. Never an unkind tone of voice, but B. Never an unkind tone of voice, but

always _________.always _________.

BITTERBITTER

HARSHHARSH

TENDERTENDERC. Never a harsh or demeaning C. Never a harsh or demeaning

manner, but always _________.manner, but always _________.D. Never tearing down, but always D. Never tearing down, but always

______________.______________.

GENTLEGENTLE

BUILDING-UPBUILDING-UP

Colossians 3:19Colossians 3:19

1919 Husbands, love your wives Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward and do not be bitter toward them.them.

This verse shows how to know when This verse shows how to know when you are NOT loving your wife.you are NOT loving your wife.

This verse shows how to know when This verse shows how to know when you are NOT loving your wife.you are NOT loving your wife.

What’s the most What’s the most common excuse common excuse

for a divorce?for a divorce?

God says,God says,‘‘There was a time you There was a time you chose to love her. Then chose to love her. Then you chose not to, now you chose not to, now you can choose to love you can choose to love

her again.’her again.’

3. Love your wife and do not become3. Love your wife and do not become ________________ toward her.toward her.BITTERBITTER

E. Never controlling, but always E. Never controlling, but always _______________. _______________. EMPOWERINGEMPOWERING

4. Love your wife and purposefully 4. Love your wife and purposefully “nourish and _________”“nourish and _________” her.her.

A. A. NourishNourish means to provide what means to provide what is necessary for __________.is necessary for __________.

CHERISHCHERISH

B. B. CherishCherish means to treasure and means to treasure and treat with ______________.treat with ______________.TENDERNESSTENDERNESS

GROWTHGROWTH

Paul TournierPaul Tournier

““I am convinced that I am convinced that nine out of nine out of

ten persons seeing a ten persons seeing a psychiatrist do not need psychiatrist do not need

one. They need one. They need somebody who will love somebody who will love them with God’s love, them with God’s love,

and they will get well.”and they will get well.”

5. Love your wife fervently and never 5. Love your wife fervently and never allow your love to grow _______.allow your love to grow _______.A.A. Agape LoveAgape Love includes both our includes both our

actions and _____________.actions and _____________.

B.B. B. B. Agape LoveAgape Love chooses to care chooses to care deeply and lavish deeply and lavish AFFECTIONAFFECTION..

C. C. Agape LoveAgape Love never fails and guards never fails and guards against unforgiveness and against unforgiveness and APATHYAPATHY..

COLDCOLD

Ephesians 5:28-29Ephesians 5:28-292828 So husbands ought to love So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.loves himself. 2929 For no one For no one ever hated his own flesh, but ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the just as the Lord does the Church. Church.

1.1. StopStop wh whatatever you do ever you do that disappoints, that disappoints, frustrates, or angers frustrates, or angers your wife.your wife.

2. 2. RepeatRepeat the “first the “first works” of your early works” of your early courtship. courtship.

3. 3. DemonstrateDemonstrate your love your love so your wife actually so your wife actually feelsfeels loved. loved.

4. 4. ReceiveReceive God’s love God’s love today by believing in today by believing in the Lord Jesus Christ the Lord Jesus Christ as your personal as your personal Savior. Savior. (John 1:12; 3:16)(John 1:12; 3:16)

John 3:16John 3:161616 For God so loved the For God so loved the world that he gave His world that he gave His only begotten Son, that only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in whosoever believeth in

him should not perish but him should not perish but have everlasting life.have everlasting life.

Romans 5:8Romans 5:888 But God demonstrates But God demonstrates His own love toward us, His own love toward us,

in that while we were in that while we were still sinners, Christ died still sinners, Christ died

for us.for us.

John 1:12John 1:121212 But as many as received But as many as received Him, to them He gave the Him, to them He gave the right to become children right to become children

of God, to those who of God, to those who believe in His name.believe in His name.

1 Corinthians 13:4-81 Corinthians 13:4-84 4 Love is patient and is kind; Love is patient and is kind; love does not envy; does not love does not envy; does not parade itself, is not puffed up;parade itself, is not puffed up; 55 does not behave rudely, does does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;provoked, thinks no evil; 66 does does not rejoice in iniquity, but not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;rejoices in the truth; 77 bears all bears all things, believes all things, hopes things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.all things, endures all things. 88 Love never fails.Love never fails.