notary motion subtle satire - version i, may, 2011
DESCRIPTION
Satire newsletter portraying what mobile notaries and their customers go through. This issue includes why California notaries have been placed on the endangered species list by Secretary of State Debra Bowen.TRANSCRIPT
CALIFORNIA NOTARY PUBLIC NUMBERS IN DECLINESecretary of State Reports 100,000 Drop Of One Third - Fears Notary Shortage, Possible Extinction
CA Notary Publics Hunted To Near Extinction Form New Strategies for Survival
In a press conference, Secretary of State Debra Bowen reported from her Notary Public Handbook 2011 that notaries are now on the California endangered species list. Pointing to a chart showing a severe decline in the notary population, Bowen’s latest figures showed a significant die off of over 100,000 notaries in just three years leaving just 184,000 to fend for themselves. The Golden State lost nearly one third of its notaries.
Speculation on the drop in numbers was attributed by Bowen to notarial exhaustion, “California’s a big
state to cover” Bowen explained. “We think predatory attorneys may have gotten to the notaries as their herds migrated to new areas seeking lower gas prices.” Bowen said. “Attorneys apparently thinned out the herd creating an artificial shortage of notaries in their hoping to change the law that bars them from notarizing client documents.”
Aware they’re on the endangered species list, notaries have since embraced cutting edge technologies including GPS devices to detect predators moving in on them.
-1-Copyright © 2011 Notary Motion
In May, 2011 Notary Motion served an exhausted Alaskan cruise ship employee at Pier 35. Using NM’s mobile services saved Gendalyn so much time she was able to head for the beach to relax.
NOTARY MOTIONThe Whatever It Takes Mobile Notary Service
Notary Motion
proudly serves those who get
caught in a pickle needing a notary
pronto.
Oops! I just
remembered I need my Trust document notarized!
Subtle Satire IssueVolume I - May, 2011
Spinning Wheels For The San Francisco Community Since 2009
NOTARY MOTION APPEARS INSTANTANEOUSLY FOR CUSTOMERMr. Thompson Shocked To Find Notary Public Answers His Call Standing Next To Him At Local Bank
Local business owner Jason Everett Thompson was all jaw dropped and speechless when he realized his cell call placed to Notary Motion was answered by a Notary Public standing next to him at his bank. “How’s that for fast service?” the giggling notary proclaimed. After their mutual hysterical laughter died down, the notary added “I’m beginning to think I may have talent for this mobile notary stuff.”
Mr. Thompson, who is President of Wired Real Estate Group, had his time share document all ready to notarize. The notary added “I guess this means that in order to improve my service next time I’ll have to appear instantaneously to a customer who merely gives thought to needing a notary. No phone should be necessary now.”
This isn’t the first time Notary Motion was there on the spot for a cell calling customer. “Last year a gentlemen was coming out of the elevator as I entered the area”, the notary said. “He was very shocked to hear my voice nearby answer the call.”
Notary Motion Reports Other Strange Phenomena Happening
A good mobile notary is so tuned into customers and their needs that premonitions of future calls only come naturally. Notary Motion explains, “It’s not uncommon that shortly after a customer crosses my mind who I haven't heard from in a while I hear from them the next day. Such premonitions have occurred with several companies that I’m so used to the pattern I no longer think it unusual. I figure being stuck in an office environment for a few decades stunted my perception of reality prior to this revelation. The world’s a lot smaller then we think.
(Note, the above stories in this section aren’t pure satire, they really happened!)
* * *
Contributor
Cheryl Meril, owner
of Notary Motion, a
subsidiary of Nob
Hill Notary
Services.
-2-Copyright © 2011 Notary Motion
Prior to Mobile Notaries people did whatever it took to
get to one.
Strictly Mobile This service is designed for those who need a Notary Public to come to their office, home or any convenient location. Usually such customers are in such a pickle that paying a $20 mobile fee is well worth saving them both time and the misery associated
with hunting for an available Notary Public in San Francisco. This service also includes Loan Signing Agent services for home purchases and refinance loans.
NotaryMotion is a National Notary
Association Certified & Background Checked Loan Signing Agent Notary.
Notary Motion’s a subsidiary of Nob Hill Notary Services serving San Francisco since 2009.
For more info, please visit www.NobHillNotary.com
or call 415-983-8176