notes dyd mastery journal

7/30/2019 Notes DYD Mastery Journal

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LEGEND:

~ means it contains some personal notes or conclusionsmade by me, you can replaces them with your own conclusions

xxx means that this is an active part of this workbook, youreplace those XXX with answers of your own

"Quotes" means its a transcribtion directly from the audio

[5] is a rating of how usefull I've found the particular audiosegment to ME, replace this with your own rating for further

referencing, re-listening to the system{5} is a rating of how usefull I've found the particular reading

segment to ME, replace this with your own rating for further

referencing, re-listening to the systemnonquote regular, non-quoted text is ussually a summary of the

points made in the particular audio segment

Track 1 - Welcome

0:00 [1] Intros

1:10 [1] {7} Letter to frustrated guy

"I thlnk you're here because you have a problem, a pain, a frustration that you'dlike to get handled. I thlnk that the problem of not having success wlth women is ilke

a virus running on your mental computer system in the background ... everythingruns through it and is corrupted by it... and it bogs the entire system down. Ialso

suspect you're here because you're hoping for a technique ... a secret trick...

something that's golng to magically fixeverything and give you all the success youever wanted ... and you have your fingers crossed that I or one of my guests isgoing to reveal it. In other words, I thlnk you want a quick fix, and you're hoping

that its here. - - Further, I think that the REALITY is that you already probably knowFAR more than the averagee guy, and probably know even more than most guys

who are VERY successful wlth women. You already know the tricks! You alreadyknow what you need to do, but you're just not doing it. And actually I think you

KNOW THAT THE PROBLEM ISN'T THAT YOU NEED MORE TECHNIQUES. I think thatat some level you realize that the problem is something BIGGER, something more

intense... and more difficult to face. I thlnk you know that you're using one or more"secret resons" to justify your inabllity to have success with women... and that they

somehow give you a kind of depressing comfort... because If you fail at thls, you can

always fall back on your secret reason: "I knew it. I knew that this wouldn't work forme..." I think that most people go to therapists so they can hear the words "I

understand. I'd feel the same way if I were in your sltuation..." and sothey canexplain and justify the way they are... NOT to change, But I'm notgoing settlefor

that here I'm not going to settlefor you walking out of here saying "Yea, I knew I

wasn't going tolearn anything that's going to help me. I'm just going to have to

accept that this isan area that I wlll never have together in life."

3:07 [2] {3} Commit to yourself


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Before we get into the material, I want you to take a moment and consider the series ofevents and the reasons why you're going through this program

Iknow that you didn't just wake up one day, say "Hey, I think I'll get myself a program toteach me how to meet women"

If you're anything like me, you've spent a LOT of time, effort, and energy trying to figure outthe female of our species And if you're like me, then you've probably gotten to the point whereyou're ready to take your success to the level to the place we're calling "Mastery"

I'd like to invite you to really reflect on the years you've spent in your life tryingthings that didn't work, starting something then dropping it a few days or weekslater because you just didn't have what it took to stick with it, and beating your headagainst the wall

I really want you to reflect on where you are, and, more importantly, on where you want togo... now make a commitment to YOURSELF to spend at LEAST the next 90 days working withthis program every single day

Make a commitment to yourself that you're going to go through it at least threetimes, you're going to implement what you learn, and you're going to take control ofthis area of your life I want you to say "yes" with me when I count to three - say yes withme and agree out loud that you're actually going to do it this time

Track 2 - Intro to mastery

0:00 [2] {3} Theories, Awareness, Change

Many of the things I'm going to personally teach you in thls program are theoretical,abstract, and complex

Many of the concepts are outslde of the realm of "scientific" or "proven"

In many cases I'm going to pose ideasto you that have no "action step" or "directapplication" to your interactions with women

Why would I say and do these things?

I've come to believe that the process of successfully attracting a mate is the singlemost powerful underlying force in human psychology, behavior, and motivatlon.

This drive is very complex, multi-dimensional, counter-intuitive and ironic.

In fact, it's so powerful and pervasive that one could actually view every thought,communicatlon, and behavior, no matter how grand or trivial, as part of an intricate

mating ritual

"I want you to start watching everything that happens around you and think of it as partof intricate complex mating ritual"

I've made it my purpose to learn as much as I can about this particular process - first so Ican be succesfull myself, and secondly so I can teach other guys effectively


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In the process of learning the "secrets" ofhow to successfully attract women, I've realizedthat by addressing some of these more abstract and conceptual levels a guy can notonly learn how to attract women better and faster, he can also become more wholeand integrated as a man

I also believe that sometimes just having anawareness of something can trigger asnowballeffect - and lead to incredible change, development, and evolution

"Steven McCovey teaches that awareness itself can build momentum. Alot of my purposetoday is to just have you become aware of what's going on around you; Aware of some of theprocesses that are happenning in your mind. Aware of some of the emotional, psychological

automated processes that are happening and you're not even aware of. "

I fully expect that the firsthalf of this program is going to challenge your mind andemotions, and it's going to make you think in ways you've never thoght before

But stick with it - not only will this material change you on a more fundamental level, but itwill alsoprepare your mind for the incredible specific insights and step-by-step techniquesyou're going to learn in the second half - and thesetechniques are going to literally blow your

mind

2:25 [2] {2} What We'll Be Covering

Women and dating

Section one is about clearing blocks from the mind, body, and emotions Section two is about learning the subtle dynamics of interpersonal interactions

Section three is about learning the strategies of Mastery Section four is about learning the specific, step-by-step techniques in detail

Track 3 - [2] {3} Attraction still isn't a choice

I started my "Advanced Dating Techniques" program (which I hope you watched or listenedto, because it's the foundation for this program) with the words "Attraction Isn't a Choice"

Well, it still isn't...

But men are still acting like it is

Men are still acting like they can convince women to feel attraction for them

In this program we're going to go down deep inside of your mind to uproot once and for allthose programs that are leading to you chasing women, giving away your power,and ultimately ruining your own chances with them

0:57 [3] {2} - Mastery is about personal commitment

"I want you to notice specifically as you go thru the program how the meaning changesfor you of things, how things become more meaningfull"

This program goes deep ... very deep


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Mastery in this area of life comes from a deeper understanding of the principles, mindsets,and strategies

Techniques aren't the focus, although you'll hear a lot of them.

This program is meant to be reviewed several times - it's a reference

You'll start getting your best results after three, four, five or more times through it

Notice how the meaning changes as you evolve, and how it becomes moreprofound

1:42 [2] {2} - Taking control

Mastery is about taking control

It's about getting to the point where you don't feel helpless or out of control in asituation

It's about getting to the point where you control your own destiny instead offeeling like it's controlled for you

It's about moving from effect to cause... from watching things happen to making themhappen ... from hoping and wishing to realizing

The commitment to Mastery is the commitment to take control of your [own] life

2:20 [2] {2} - The source of this program

I spent a lot of time deciding whether or not to do this program, as it's not going to be foreveryone

In this program I'm going to share a lot of concepts, theories, and ideas that it has literallytaken me my whole life to learn, refine, and understand - in other words, the source of thisprogram is my own journey and experience of learning

We're going to spend a lot of time doing personal work in this program

You've heard the phrase "You can't change other people, you can only changeyourself"

We're going to start with that idea, and work on ourselves ... knowing that byimproving the inside, the outside will take care of itself

"Once you have changed yourself you become much more effective at changing thethings around you"

3:40 - [4] Mastery by George Lenard quote (good metaphor for skill mastering)

"As with all significant learning this is measured not in a straight line but stages. Briefspurts of progress separated by periods where you seem to be getting nowhere"


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5:16 [2] {2} - Why Mastery?

Why Mastery? Why not just leave It at the Advanced Series?

Because I thlnk that when we want to learn somethlng new in our lives, we go through a few

phases...

First, we try to learn the tricks. We want the quick flx. We want magic techniques that willinstantly solve our problems.

Then, after learnlng a few tricks, you realize that there's still something wrong - whenyou're beating your head up against the wall and It's just not working you seek outmore "In-depth" knowledge.

This is when people usually get my Advanced Series. But then once you get some level ofskill in a particular area, you then begin to realize that there must be a DEPEER levelof understanding. You realize that there must be something much bigger at work.You realize that maybe there are other areas that you can develop that willstrengthen the area you are trying to develop.

"You begin to realize there must be a deeper level of understading, a deeper level that'sconnected to other things. A deeper level that ties everything together; that ties not onlythe subject you're learning to itself, but also everything else in the world and in your life

to each other"

That's what this program is about. We're going to address many of those other areas... andthe first place we're going to start is with what I'm golng to call THE DEEP INNER GAME.

6:35 [2] {3} - The first step

The first step on the road to Mastery may be the hardest.

"And this goes right to the heart of the DEEP INNER GAME, right to the heart ofdealing with yourself. "

The first step involves discomfort, anxiety, and even pain.

The first step on the road to Mastery is to admit that you do not want to do all thethings that are going to be required for you to REACH Mastery.

It's to come to grips with the fact that there are going to be a lot of things that are

going to be physically, emotionally, and psychologically uncomfortable along thepath, and that you're going to do them anyway.

It's to make a personal commitment that you're going to do whatever it takes, no matterhow much you don't want to do it in the moment, to reach your objective.

Can you take the hardest step?

"If you can't take this step, the others aren't gonna work for ya"


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Track 4 [3] {3} - Transition Vulnerability

When a butterfly is coming out of its cocoon, or a baby is being born, or a snake is sheddingits skin ... these are the times when they're the most sensitive, the most vulnerable, the mostdisoriented, the most afraid ... the most uncomfortable. (A cat entering a new room)

When you start learning new things about how to meet women, changing how you think andlearning and trying new things, this will be the same for you.

The transition period will be the one when you feel most sensitive and vulnerable.

Remember that there is a long-term payoff to getting outside of your comfort zoneand sticking with the process.

Eventually the discomfort and feeling of vulnerability will go away, and you'll beenjoying a new level of success.

"So what does transition vulnerability mean for you? It means you're gonna feel it. It

means that as you're going thru these steps you're gonna get uncomfortable. You're gonnatry things that will freak you out. We will talk about issues and then you're gonna go out

there in the world and they will come up for you... and you will realize you're powerless

and helpless in certain situations. What do most people do when they run into transitionvulnerability? They go inside, they hide, they close up, they go "you know what, i'm

shutting that out" And repress it. I want you to be aware of it. Don't worry about it; it's

just a step you need to go thru. Just like the cat, you need to get aware of the enviroment,

the room and soon it will be second nature to you. "

Track 5 [9] {7} - Development detour

Our thoughts, feelings, behavior, and self image is mostly unconciousWe humans llke to identify with these aspects of ourselves and become attached to them in away that prevents change

Many think that 'learning' new ways of thinking, new ways of communicatlng, and new bodylanguage is somehow inauthentic and fake

I think that this attachment is one of the biggest stumbling blocks people face when wantingto improve

Design a branded process [brandedproccess.com]

Sometimes you need to progress from Unconcious to Concious to Unconsciousagain in order to learn

It's OK to learn and do things that don't feel llke "you" in order to get a new skill

The seminar is a detour... and spending some time learning techniques to become betterwith women is a detour

"It's ok to do things that don't feel likeyouwhen evolving"


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[3]{6} - From focus to integration

Mastery requires intensive focus for a tlme, then eventually lntegratlon wlth the rest of yourlife

Thlnk hub and nodes. From the hub to a node

Thlnk Solar System. From the Sun to a Planet

To MASTER something is to go from that thing having power and status over you, to youhaving power and status over it

Don't make the mistake that a lot of guys make and become ADDICTED TO ANIDEAL

The better you get at something, the further you feel from the IDEAL... because themore you know, the more you realize you don't know

Don't become one of the guys who isa llttle "too into" thls stuff ... who can't thlnk about,talk about, or do anything else ... who obsess over it and lose touch wlth the rest of reality

Don't attach your identity and self esteem to the Idea of getting to an unreallstlc level

Don't become addicted to this like a drug

Focus on it, [and] then integrate it

***2:51--->***

Track 6 [7] {6} - Five steps to evolution

Imitate the best until you are gettlng consistent results.

Learn to make finer and finer distinctlons until you can clearly see how and why each approach works ineach situation

Learn how to asslgn higher and lower values to behaviors, results, mlstakes to create an internal systemthat wlll gulde you.

Learn to create variatlons of great ldeas and tocombine great elements of great ideas to evolve improvedversions

Learn to innovate, design and create new things that have superlor value LAST

The mistake most people make is dolng these in reverse"Imtate Assimilate Innovate" - Clark Terry (Jazz Trumpet Player)

5:16 [3] {6} - The formula for conssistent luck

Expertise + Experience + Great Mentors + Access to Great Advice = LUCK

Masters can walk into a situation and appear to create magic. Itlooks ilke they're getting lucky far toooften


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The counterlntuttive nature of wisdom and expertise, and how dolng the obvious thing doesn't alwaysserve you

The best thlng to do in a sltuatlon isnt usually the OBVIOUS thing, Masters do counter-intuitive thlngs ...things that wouldn't be natural for others

The Master makes success look almost effortless, which leads novices to assume that what he is dolng Iseasy and slmple

Don't be fooled Into beileving that it's not complex just because it looks easy

When you spend years cornbining expertise, experience, great mentors and access to great advice, youstart gettlng lucky all the time

Track 7 [2] - Masters

1:27 - [3] {2} Take control of your personal evolution

Seek the history of things you're interested in learning

Become a student of your interests

After learning how the current models evolved, and becoming competent, you'll begin to have "futurevsion" and see how things will evolve

This will leadto situational predictive powers - you'll be able to see possible scenario outcomes, and thenbehave accordingly

The most important place to use this is your own life

Review your own personal evolution, then take control of it in the future

Evolution means not onl to evolve, but to transcend and include

Track 8 [2] {2} - Two Ways of Winning

Winning to beat someone else

Winning to succeed in reaching a goal or getting what you want

--The objective here is to get to the point where you have the kind of success that YOUwant for YOURSELF

-- We're not looking to learn how to beat others here - that's counter-productive and distracting inthis context

"Finally, you need to move this from the center of your life to part of your life"

"I want you to succeed. I don't want you to win by beating others. I don't want you tocompare yourself to others; I don't want you to use that. I don't think that strategy is

usefull in this situation. "

0:49 [10] {8} - Improve the quality of your life and become more attractive to women


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Humans "catch" emotions from others

If you're always down, people won't want to be around you because you bring them down

If you're always up, people wi!l want to be around you so they can "catch" some of that emotion

Improving the quality of your life - which leads to being happier and more satisfied - makes youa more interesting and attractive person

What does quality of life come down to?

1:18 [2] {5} - Models of quality of life

If your perspective is that more pleasure improves quality of life, then physical pleasure, emotlonalpleasure, and mental pleasure would increase quality of Ilfe.

This would involve having challenges and meeting them, receiving love, getting physicalaffection and sex, doing good

If your perspectlve is that attachment to reality is negative, then detachment or mls-ldentlficatlon andlosing your preferences is the answer. Transcending this world (or LIFE) leads to the greatest qualityof life

If your perspective is that giving of yourself is what improves quality of Ilfe, then doing for others willimprove your Iife

If your perspective is that joy or enjoyment is what Improves the quality of your Iife, then doing thingsthat add joy to your life and keep you in the FLOW state is the answer

Choose the path that improves your own personal quality and enjoyment of life, and then stick to it. Itwill make you more attractive

** (2:10) ** "I want you to be very selfish; I want you to improve your own life. I wantyou to improve the quality of your own life. I want you to do whatever it takes to make

your life great so that YOU feel good about it. I want you to think of that in terms

winning for yourself... Again I think too many people compare themselves to everybodyelse. They're looking at what everyone else is doing. They try to figure out "Ok how can I

do that to make me happy" Instead of actually looking at the things that make them

happy, looking at the things they feel; will improve the quality of their life and then

increase those things. So I now want you to give yourself permission to improve thequality of your own life. Stand out from the crowd, make yourself happier. If the quality

of your life is good, you will feel better and you will become more attractiveautomatically. "

Track 9 [4] {7} - Flow

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi released a book called "Flow: The Psychology Of Optimal Experience"

Flow is the feeling of "being in the zone", of total immersion and involvement


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It's a state that takes all of your attention, where time passes effortlessly

Elements:

--The challenge is matched well with your skills--Compete and compare results only with and to yourself--Creates enjoyment or long-term satisfaction

The Flow zone chart visual

High skill - low challenge = boredom

Low skill - high challenge = anxiety

If you're feeling anxiety in your life it ussualy means that you need to get a skill. If you're

bored, if you feel boredom... that's the sign you need more challenge.

Track 10 [7] {3} - Journey to mastery

Step 1: Choosing what you want for yourself in this area consciously

- Choosing your ethics consciously

- Choosing your values consciously

- Choosing what you will and won't accept ... setting standards

- Choosing your own path in life

2) Deciding To Get What You Want

- Deciding on, and describing the kind of woman you want in your life, relationship you want

- Setting out on your OWN path, detaching from what others want and what others want forYOU

- Accepting that you might not impress others, etc. but it DOESN'T MATTER

- Making the commitment to get what you want for yourself, no matter what

- Realizing that ultimately no one in your life cares whether or not you're successful

3) Hesitation, Stalling, Rethinking

(Fears, Self-Doubt, Change Of Heart)

- Realizing that this isn't going to be easy, no instant results (bad experiences)

- Doubting that it's possible, doubting that it's possible for YOU

- Facing your "Secret Reason" for failure

- It looks too big, too complex, too much


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- Self Image ... "I'm not one of those guys"

- Deserving, Permission issues

4) Preparing For Your Journey

- Accepting that you're going to need to step out of the situation mentally, and be willing to learnand try things that might not feel like "you" ... knowing that you might keep some of what youlearn, and you might disregard some of what you learn

- Learning DYD material, reframing, self-image stuff, techniques

- Mental rehearsal, emotional rehearsal, physical practice, crutches

5) Gathering Your Support Team

- Reference group of guys who are good with women

- Mentor

- Female friends

- Counselor or therapist possibly

6) The Warrior Phase - Learning By Doing

- Getting out there and actually using what you're learning

- Identifying the areas you need to work on, and working on them

- Leveraging your strengths

- Physical, Logical, Emotional

- Taking steps, one at a time

- Learning to lead

- Learning how The Critical Moments and Bridges actually feel and work; smooth transitions,knowing what to do

7) The Tests

- Fears (fear of something is worse than the thing itself)

- The Shadow, your dark side

- Your emotions, how they come up at critical times

- Tests from Women

- Feminine distraction, confusion, emotions ... staying strong, composure

- Making mistakes you know you shouldn't make, and paying the price


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- Sacrifice: Something must die in order for something new to live ... you must let a part of youdie, and let it go

8) Facing Your Ultimate Fear and Ultimate Desire

- Can you stand the test, and take what you want when it's in front of you?

- When you finally find the woman you want, will you turn into a wuss, treat her "differently",pursue her, give away your power, and drive her away?

- Once you do attract the right woman, will you take her, and STAY a Real Man or will you doubtwhat has taken you this far, and screw it up?

- Keeping what you want is far more difficult than getting what you want

9) Returning and Integrating

- Keeping what you like, disregarding what isn't useful from the journey

- Making the things that align with your values part of who you are permanently

- Moving this from the center of your life to an integrated part of your life

10) Giving Back

- Teaching other guys to learn better yourself

- Continuing to be the Real Man that your woman wants into the future

- Moving on to other journeys and adventures in your life

Track 12 [6] {3} - Being in the center / Living in the middle of your own reality

Find Your CenterCenter YourselfBecome the Center

Finding your center isabout getting in touch with what you really want for your life and foryourself. It's about "finding yourself", "choosing your own path", and "Iiving consciously", It's aboutfiguring out who you are and how you fit into your world

Centering yourself is about taking a moment to shlft your awareness into your own body,

becoming aware of yourself and your surroundings, and then operating from that perspective. It Isa way of gohg lnslde and becoming grounded

Becoming the center isabout moving women from the center of your universe to an lnterestlngpart of your unlverse. It's about becoming so interesting and attractive that women make you thecenter of their universes

1:23 [8] {9} - Find your center


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What is it that you really want for yourself and your life?

If you could start all over, and operate from a place where you get to choose every aspect of whoyou are. what you do, and where you're going, whal would that look like?

What do you like aboul your life that you want to keep, and what do you not like about yourself that

you won't accept any longer?

Who are you going to be in the future, when you're not living half-way?

We're going to discuss moving your frame of reference inside later in this program (which is helpfulwhen linding your center), but for now I want you to think about finding yourowncenter, so you can operatefrom that place

2:15 - physical centering

Stand up straight, as if a string were pulllng your head up

Notice how it's easier to stand thls way, and requires less effort when balanced

Take three deep breaths with me, deep into the stomach

The breath is the only vital life processthat you can control elther consciously orunconsclousIy.., use it as the bridge to begin with

Relax your shoulders, stomach, jaw, and forehead as you exhale each time

Look up and to the center, where the imaginary crest isformed above your nose

Open your peripheral vision, taking in the edges of your visual field. Inhale slowly, and notlceboth the feeling of air rushlng into your nose, and your stomach expanding and contracting at thesame time

Pay attention to your vision, the air rushing into your nose, and your stomach at the same time...maintain that attentlon to quiet your mind

Track 13 - Mental centering

Accept everything exactly as it is

Detach from the past, the future, then the present

Make your outcome here at this program unimportant fora moment

Release your identification with yourself and your identity

0:55 - emotional centering

As you exhale, release emotional tension, anxiety, pressure

Exhale any ill feelings toward yourself or others


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In your imagination, open up your chest and your heart, allow that opening to envelopeverything and everyone around you

"When you learn to do those 3 things, and you learn to do them quickly,justCENTER.It will have a profound effect on the way you come across. You can do them very quickly

once you automate the process"

1:55 - Acting from a centered state

Notice everything around you, looking at the details

Consciously make meaning from these things

Look with an optimistic eye, pro-actively looking for things that will help you

Realize that learning a lesson by trying something is far more valuable than getting a short-termwin

Tuning Your Peripheral Senses

Peripheral Senses: Just like peripheral vision, you have peripheral hearing, touch, smell, andtaste

Focusing one of your senses: If you smell something that is familiar, but for some reason youcan't quite figure it out, you'll often close your eyes, or try to tune out your other senses in order to"focus in" on the smell. Something is going on here. It's as if you're automatically trying to useyour brain's processing power for one particular task... and focusing it.

Consciously use your Peripheral Senses to notice finer and flner details, and to see what worksand what doesn't

Become The Center Of Her Universe

I've had the experience many times of meeting women and almost instantly feeling thembecome "trapped by my gravitational pull" and almost "captured in orbit around me"

It was like they were now in myorbit and I could FEEL it

I knew that they were hooked, and that there was basically nothing that could change it

It was obvious on many levels, from their body language to their communication

I did thlngs very early on that most men would conslder 'dumb"

I pushed them away, told them that they were in love with me, and told them to go bug otherguys... knowing that it would only make the "gravity" stronger


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Think of the relatlonshlp of the sun and the earth. The sun is at the center of the earth'suniverse. The earth could be said to "belong to" the sun. Because of the sun, earth has day andnight; it wakes and sleeps, and is able to suppbrt life.

Most men behave like the opposlte is the case. In fact, most men behave like wandering planets whoare looking for a sun to orbit... someone to cling to... a place to get energy from... a central figure in

their Iives. They have not learned how to become their own sun, give themselves energy, and becomepowerful and attractive on their own.

In order for a body to be in orbit around another, it must be close enough, but not too close. It mustbe MOVING, it must exert less gravity than the central body it orbits.

A woman wants a man who is strong enough to attract her, hold her In his orbit, and keep her there

... but the thing that really keeps her "attracted" (feeling attraction) is the tension that comes from notqulte being "all the way there"

The Power OfThe Center Find Your Center Center Yourself Become The Center

Track 2/1 - Mental centering [2] {2}

3:05 [10] short run of centering ritual

3:46 [2] {2} why we center

Centering To Eliminate Negative Mental/Emotional/Physical

Distractions And Anxiety

Ongoing mental chatter

Worries of what others think about you

Figuring out how to get approval and recognition

Imagined negative outcomes of situations

The emotions of fear, anxiety, nervousness

Conflicts between physical/logical/emotional needs

Conflicts between past/present/future time frames

By finding your center and centering yourself, then becoming the center, you work to eliminatethese things at the root of the problem


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"When you run into a challenge often what it takes is to just center yourself, to get back

on track "oh hmm i'm in control... I forgot about that, and then go into success""

4:50 [4] {10}

The First Law OfSuccess With Women:

Accept Everything The Way It Is

A big fundamental mistake that guys make is not accepting things as they are

Not accepting:

- Yourself- Women- Situations

Another is letting things that are beyond your control frustrate you, victimize you, upset you,make you mad, control your thoughts and emotions, By accepting everything as it is, you makeyourself powerful

Center yourself, accept, then be pro-active to get what you want - pushing against things robsyou of power- accepting them gives you power

"Guess where you can use that. Everytime you have a challenge. Every time you'renervous... Center... accept the situation... you know what she might not like... whatever.What can I do to be proactive now... When you push against things it robs you of power.

When you accept them, it gives you power. "

Track 2/2 - [2] introduction to dark side | reading quote by DeMelo

0000 [1] {4} the shadow (explained)

Carl Jung coined the term 'The Shadow' to describe a particular aspect of ourselves that isalmost entirely unconscious

Asthe name suggests, this part of our inner selves can be a dark, elusive, rightening thing

Aswe grow up, we are confronted by parents and other authority figures who tell us that certalnthings are 'bad' or 'wrong' and that WE are bad or wrong for even THINKING those things

Aswe develop, we repress these important aspects of ourselves and put them into "theshadow"


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We can only become aware of our own shadow by watching carefully for it, then takingadvantage of the fleeting momts when it sneaks up and rattles our world

The Shadow can only be seen by looking at its own shadow

A moment of intense irrational anger ... or a murderous thought ... a feeling of envy aboutsomeone we want tobe like ... are all clues that your shadow is active

Carl Jung said that The Shadow is where your personal gold is ... its the place where yourgreatest treasure waits for you

As you get toknow your Shadow, it'simportant to embrace, welcome, and integrate it... only byincluding it will you be able to transcend it

3:30 {2} Reading from meeting your shadow

Track 2/3 [7] {2} - The Dark Side...

Every virtue has a dark side, especially when taken to an extreme

Every strength can turn into a weakness

Confidence can become overconfidence and then Hubris

Hard work can become an addiction, leading to "workaholism"

Don't take any strength too far... or it will turn to its opposite and posslbly destroy you

0:55 [5] {2} - The bright side of everything

Just like everything can have a dark side, every negative thing has a bright side

Arrogance can be toned down and turned into strong confidence

Liars are often fantastic at building rapport with people and persuading

A child that starts out breaking everything by taking it apart often grows up knowing how to fixanything

But use good judgment ... too many people ONLY see the good in others, and ironically allowthis shadow trait to harm them[selves] over and over

Includes the story about how to see people realisctially, from an objective side... the

whole drawing with viewing people from the right angle... where you see both the light

and dark sides.


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~Also applies to use not viewing our own dark sides which makes them stronger~

3:47 [2] {2} beating others (the two sides of winning in the shadow)

Does it bother you when another guy gets a girl that you wanted?

Do you like the idea of taking a woman from another guy?

Which would you enjoy more... getting a girl that you wanted but no other guys seemed to want

... or getting a girl that you know every other guy wanted ... and a girl that would make everyother guy jealous?

Is it enough to win by getting what you want ... or do you feel the need to win by beating otherguys and getting the thing that THEY want?

4:38 [2] {4} (the shadow side of) self awareness

Self awareness is a double-edged miracle sword

Being aware of yourself allows you to see things you need to improve, see the progressyou're making, etc.

But it also allows you to feel "self conscious", and insecure because you don't "measureup"

When you compare yourself to others, it can be very negative, or very positive

...depending on how you do it

It's important to use your self awareness to constantly work towardevolving yourself andgetting what you want, and not to put yourself down, beat yourself up, or make yourself feellike less than others

5:37 [3] {2} other levels of the shadow

I've found that there are different levels to the concept of The Shadow

Some are psychological, some are biological, some are physical, and some are social

This is a complex topic, as all levels interact with each other... but becoming aware of thelevels creates its own kind of energy toward understanding and integrating them

9:15 [5] {4} befriending your shadow


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Think of the last three times you had a strong, instant, overpowering emotional response tosomething that took over your mind and body

Think of the three things in life you fear most, and how you respond when confronted with them

Think of those things you desire more than anything, and the reasons you desire them

Recognize these elements as parts of your own unconscious mind that you're not integratinginto yourself, and commit to integrating them in the future

Track 2/4 [1] {5} - finding your own gold

Make a list of the three people you admire most in life

Next, write down three things about each person that you really admire

Now make a list of the three people you disrespect most or hate most in life

Finally, write down three things about each of those people you disrespect or dislike most

Track 2/5 [2] {3} projection

Our bodies, minds, and emotions are an actlve part of how we perceive the world and themeanlng we make OF the events around us - there isn't an "objective reality" that "everyone canagree on

Most of our perceptive abillty is actually PROGRAMMING that is LEARNED... not the objective,accurate, perfectset of equipment we think of it as

A loud bang outside wlll be perceived as a car backflring by one person, a car accident byanother, and a gunshot by another - all projections

You can only perceive something relative to what is already programmed In your mind - thls iswhy we often see things that aren't there, and miss thlngs that are - because our minds areplaying an active role in their "being there"

Projection comes up often in relatlonshlps between men and women - we often project our ownnegative aspects onto people we dislike and we project our own positive qualities onto those weare attracted to

This leads to many problems, as we're not recognizing our own "dark slde" or seeing our own"light side"

Carl Jung: Perception is projection

2:28 [2] {6} explanation of the finding your gold excercise (shadow and projection

excercise)

Read the list of people you don't admire, and the traits you disrespect most about them. Thinkabout YOURSELF, and review these things in your mind, realizing that these are, to somedegree, aspectsof yourself that you previously didn't want to accept, acknowledge, oradmit to


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yourself or others. Asyou think about yourself, allow your body and mind to relax, and make apersonal commitment to begin working with these areas of yourself more, instead of onlyprojecting them onto others

Find one person to do the next part of this exercise with, all the better if you don't know theperson you're getting to work with you. I want you to sit across from them, and:

1) Confidently tell them about three of your strengths... the strengths that you've projected ontoothers and haven't acknowledged in yourself, but that you're now going to lead with, develop, andadmowledge in the future as use more as the basis for your own success

2) Authentically and directly tell them about three of the repressed, dark traits you have that youhave been projecting onto others

The story of the farmer who broke his plow, and of using personal challenges, emotionaltriggers, and shadow issues as the guiding path to your own "Personal Gold"

I'd like to suggest that when Iasked you to imagine someone that you admire, then list the threethings you admire about them, that you unconciously went into your shadow and PROJECTED

three things about yourself onto that other person. I'd like to also suggest that you have chosenthree aspects of yourself that are YOUR own strengths that you don't acknowledge enough, leadwith, and develop

I'd like to suggest that when I asked vou to imagine someone that you don't admire and that youdisrespect, that you again UNCONSCIOUOSLY went into your shadow and PROJECTED threethings about YOURSELF onto that person. I'd like toalso suggest that you have chosen threeaspects of yourself that are your OWN weaknesses that you don't acknowledge, come to gripswith, and confront in yourself ... and that these three aspects of you are holding you back in life toan extent that you can't even imagine

Read the list of people you admire, and the traits you admire most about them. Then look intothe mirror, and review these things in your mind, realizing that these are your own personalgreatest assets. Affirm to' vourself that vou will lead with, capitalize on, and develoo thesestrengths more, instead ofonly projecting them onto oihers

Track 2/6 [3] {2} unconcious blind spots

I'm golng to suggest to you that everything about you is an unconcious blind spot. Ifyou do it,it's a blind spot

It almost has to be

You're dolng a thousand llttle things unconciously, habitually, and constantly that you aren'taware of... and worse, you are programmed todo them ... and think that they're perfectly normal

And you probably WOULD think they were perfectly normal ifyou realized that you were doingthem

You must actually learn to see your bllnd spots, and actually CHANGE HOW YOU THINK,COMMUNICATE, BEHAVE, AND RESPOND

A good place to start Is by getting feedback from tough, loving friends and mentors about areasthat you wouldn't normally askabout


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Ask others to be honest wlth you and tell you about your weaknesses

After a month, ask them again, and get an update

Continue to get honest, critical feedback from others ifyou want to continue to improve over

time

"By getting good tough loving critical feedback from friends and people who don't thinkyou're that cool, you'll get alot insight. I can't tell you how valuable this is. Ask somepeople who know you. You know I think i'm pretty great. But how great do you think you

are? When someone tells you you're kinda bastard... It sticks with you. "

2:20 [1] {2} - perceptual gaps (upto blindspot demonstrations)7:03 [4] {2} - perceptual gaps (after the demonstrations)

Track 2/7 [2] {3} - self-deception

Perceptual Gaps

As humans, we have several "self deception systems built in to our minds, bodies,and emotions

Where the nerve bundles connect to theback of each eye, we have "blind spots"

We're not aware of these spots because our minds compensate for them, andbecause each eye covers the bllnd spot of the other

We also have *blind spots" when it comes to all other senses as well

[Demonstrate blind spot and unseen shape]

There are *holes* in our other senses, justlike the "holes" in our visual field

In addition to blind spots, there are also events that are outside the RANGE of our"perceptual equipment"

There are movements too fast ortoo subtle to see or feel, sounds that are too high orlow to hear, and scents that are too faint to smell

"I'm showing you this, because there is alot of things like this in your life. Gaps in yourown perceptions; Programming that you have, that only you know about. You're the only

one that can detect it. And when you do detect it, you need to sit down, just like I did and

draw the shape so you can say wow there it is. I recommend keeping a journal. When

these things come up, when you get a shadow issue, write it down, talk about it; thinkabout it... work on it. Go to work on it. Make it better, improve it. By spotting these


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things and taking them out of that place where they're...you're not aware of them, you

then have power over them"

Just like there are gaps or holes in our perception, there are gaps or holes in our thinking, ourmemory, our mental associations, and our abilities

The problem is that many people not only don't perceive these gaps or Iimitations, they swearthat they don't exist

We humans often have memories that aren't true, feel sensations in our bodiesthat came fromour imaginations, and assign meaning to things that arecompletely off-base

Self deception has a very Important purpose: It keeps us sane and functioning... In a verycomplex world

There's just too much going on for your brain to deal wlth all of the information, soit usesvarious tools toselectively distort and deceive you... in order to make thlngs effcient and effective

But olten we deceive ourselves in ways that are NOT useful ... in ways that actually wind upholding us back and harming us

We makeup stories to justify our inability to succeed, we assign responsibility for our lives toothers, and we become mental victims to imaginary oppressors

The process of self deception is very difficult to detect, because it is not only "transparent" andhappening all the time, but it also erases itsown tracks

To become aware of your own negative selfdeception patterns, you must pay careful attention;attend to it on an ongoing basis

2:40 - 3:17 Negative self-deception habits intro [7] {2}

Doing something and not being aware that you're doing it leads to the perception that it's nothappening, you're not doing it, and if you did do it, you didn't mean to do it so it's not your fault

If you're getting a "secondary payoff" from this particular habit pattern, then the chances thatyou will both keep doing it and keep repressing it are strong

The place to start is these "major" areas of self deception that are habitual, recurring, and more"obvious"

One might be making an excuse for not starting a conversation with a woman you'd like to talk

to

Another might be not cleaning up and preparing yourself to meet women before you leave thehouse because you're probably not going to meet any women anyway

Another might be not improving an area of your Iife because it SHOULDNTmatter to the type ofwoman you want to meet anyway ... and you don't want a woman that cares about that thingbecause it would mean she's shallow


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3:17 [1] the adaptation movie example

5:18 [1] {2} - idealizing women (as self-deception)

One recurring theme with men is their pattern of idealizing women, projecting positive qualities ontothem that they repress in themselves, deceiving themselves about her flaws, then becomingemotionally involved with a woman and using her to fill in holes in their own character

Of course, the women always wind up being more imperfect than the man could have Imagined, theimage that the man had turns out to be completely inaccurate, and he ultimately winds up hurtinghimself badly (and often the woman as well)

Part of this recurring theme is the part of us as men that want to rescue women who are in trouble,are damaged, or are broken

Unfortunately, trying to rescue a woman who you've idealized before hand is almost certainly a losingbattle

You must first become brutally honest with yourself, then learn to see women more accurately, andthen choose your relationships carefully based on a more mature foundation of knowledge and

understanding

Track 2/8 - [4] {4} Avoidance and self-medication

We humans are incredibly good at avoiding even the THOUGHT of things that we don't want toface

When we do have to face things that make us uncomfortable, we can go to great lengths to"tune out" and "numb" ourselves so we don't feel their effects

One way we deal with issues we don't want to confront is called "Self Medicating"

We self medicate with:- Food- Sex- Fantasy- Sympathyfrom Others- Gullt from Others- Attention from Others- Excuses- Complaining- Dissociation from responsibility (interesting concept)- Avoidance

The reality is that it's usually easier to deal with the actual issue than it is to deal with thenegative psychological, emotional, and physical patterns that we use to avold it

Deal with the underlying issue, and be aware when you're medicating yourself

Track 2/9 - [3] {4} addiction

Addiction is the Shadow side of habit


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Here are a few commonly known and uncommonly known addictions...Addiction To StruggleAddiction To IdealAddiction To ProjectionAddiction To Story

Addiction To Self Image Physical Addiction (to a substance, physical pleasure) Emotional Addiction (to love, or the desire for love...missing someone) Psychological Addiction (to a thought, ideal, image... CONTENT)

"Being addicted to your struggle gives you an excuse for why you never get anything

done... always doing things"

1:24 - [4] {4} [The] difference between imagined [feeling] and actual feeling

I'm fascinated by the concept of the difference between the way you THINK you should feelwhen something happens and the WAY you feel about something when the event ACTUALLYhappens

Have you ever made yourself sick by worrying about a future event, only to experience it andwind up saying "That wasn't bad at all"?

Have you ever had something great happen in your life that you've waited years for it to happen... only to be disappointed when it was real?

Have you ever watched someone make a mistake or lose, and you felt GOOD about it ... youenjoyed watching them in pain?

Have you ever watched someone win a great prize, receive a great gift, or win a competition ...but you hated it and them?

It's important not to get too attached to the idea of how something is going to feel when ithappens, because it doesn't usually feel the way you think it will feel

Knowing this allows you to act with more restraint, purpose, and wisdom

Ignoring this reality and not reminding yourself of it constantly will only lead you to continuechaslng after imaginary good feelings that will probably never materialize... or worse, worryingabout bad things that will happen in a future that ruin that future before it arrives

Track 2/10 - [4] {4} think big ("realistic" and pragmatic thinking)

Men often use the labels "realistic" and "pragmatic" to describe a mode of thinking that I'H labelas "negative"

People who succeed in life to the greatest degree typically have "unrealistic" and "overlyoptimistic" thinking patterns


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People who are depressed and suicidal typically have the "most accurate" perceptions andoutlooks on reality

If you want to succeed with women, it's time to get away from trying to be overly "realistic" and"pragmatic"

Think big and you'll be more likely to achieve

2:12 - Hubris [and humility] [1] {3}

There is a story In Greek mythology about a man who created wings for his san Icarus, thenwatched his son die as a result.

Icarus's father constructed two pairs of wings - one forhimself, and one for Icarus - fromleathers and wax thread. They needed the wings to escape from a prison where they were beingheld.

Overcome with theunderstandable confidence that must have come from being able to fly,Icarus Ignored his father's specific and strict instructions, and he flew too close to the sun. Thesun melted the wax thread that held hs wings together, and he fell tohis death. Thscombination of overconfidence, bllndness caused by success, and unconsciously ignoringimportant feedback and available information is called HUBRIS.

HUBRIS: Pride, presumptuousness, arrogance. The kind of overconfidence that leads to a fall;A blind faith in oneself that leads to ignoring important feedback or available information, andunknowingly walking right into and causing massive failure.

I've found that hubris is a leading cause of fallure for men in thedatlng world. Many men believethat they are too smart to seek the help of, and learn from a guy who's less intelligent than them(but who's also more successful with women)...

...Many men believe that the concepts we're talking about here don't apply to them,becauseeventually they'll meet the ideal woman and she'll see no need for this stuff... insteadchoosing to spontaneously fall in love. Many men believe that they don't need to actuallyPRACTICE and PREPARE beforeusing the things they're learning because they think that"understanding something" is the same as being able to "execute something" perfectly

Don't buy this line of thinking. Put aside your pride. Put aside your overconfidence.Put aside your hubris. Every time you prepire to improve, approach your skills as a beginner.Open your mind, and try to seenew things. Become curious. Ask stupid questions

Learn to see the clues that hubris is staring within you. Teach the concept to others around you,

and ask close friends to let you know when you're getting out of control. Create a system foryourself of centering, reevaluating, and resetting your inner systems when you suspect that youmight be becoming overconfident in an unhealthy way

The folly of hubris is typically difficult for a person to seein themselves. ... but easy for everyoneelse around them to seeclearly. Hubris leads not only to failure, but also to ridicule bothBEFORE, and AFTER failure. It leads to people wanting you to fall, and hating you for success.Find that "sweet spot" between neutral and conkient that lea& toconsistent improvement, andthen do whatever you have to in order to stay there


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Track 3/1 [4] {5}

1:58 - [1] {2} - blind self-indulgent humility

The opposite of Hubris is what I call Blind Self-indulgent Humility

Blind Self-indulgent Humility: The habitual, neurotic wm ulsion to give others control, avoid allconfrontation, avoid upsetting others and take all negative communications and events personally

Blind Self-Indulgent Humility:- Stems froma weak self-image or distorted belief system- Allows the person to feel superior toothers while damaging themselves

Symptoms that you might have too much of it:

You avoid all conflict, or approach sensitive situations by apologizing

You think that you're responsible for everything that goes wrong, and you accept responsibilitypublicly before even considering things

You secretly feel better than others when you're humble, and you harbor negativity to peoplewho are confident and strong

Visual of the "sweet spot" between Hubris and Blind Self-Indulgent Humility

Track 3/2 [3] {3} - getting it in your head

Too many guys (myself Included) want to learn everythlng Instead of DOING to learn

When they have challenges gettlng started, they default to LEARN MORE before dolng - whlchIs often a way of "creatively avolding"

They think "I have to work through everything in my mind before I can act"

Ways of learning:

Knowledge - books, seminars

Training - Mentor

Experience - doing, testing

In most situations you have enough knowledge to go and apply some of it in order to learn fromactual experience

If you only rely on the "Informational" way of learning, you'll limit your success by probably 95%

A good model: Plan-Do-Study-Act


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"It's important to be aware of this, sometimes you have to cut yourself off from learningmore. You have to go... wait I gotta stop what I'm doing. Learning can be creative

avoidance. Don't use learning as a way of creatively avoiding"

"Plan what you're gonna do. Then do it. Go do it. Then study what you did. Then act onwhat you learned. Then make a new plan. And its a circle. Plan do study act plan dostudy act plan do... "

Track 3/3 [2] {5} - [The] psychology of the wussy

The Wussy Is the ultimate archetype or personiflcation of the combination of traits that add up to aman that women don't feel attraction for

The word is a combination of the words "wimp" and "pussy"

A Wussy has a combinatlon of low self esteem and a feeling of not deserving success

The irony of being a Wussy:

You can try your hardest, focus all of your energy, and do everything in your power to make awoman like you ... but all of your effort actually works against you, and instead makes a woman feelrepelled by you

The Wussy tries his hardest to be sweet, nice, understanding, and accommodating ... but in the endall he has to show forit is another woman he loves who isn't talking to him

Here are some of the elements that combine to create a Wussy. Avoid them...

Seeking Approval Or Validation

"Approval Seeking" or "Seeklng Validatlon" basically comes down to the approval seeker trying toaccomplish the following:

Get others to like, approve of, and validate them, their actions and their behaviors

Do what others want or would want them to do

Please others and make others happy

Not have anyone become mad, upset, or disappointed with them

Not cause conflict, anger, or fear in others

Not experience any negative emotions themselves


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2:30 [3] {2} - the victim

A victim is someone who feels that others are in control of their lives and destinies

A victim takes the positlon "Others are hurting me, and I can't do anything about it"

Victims tend to use their unfortunate situations to get pity and attention from others

Victims tend to not take personal responsibility for their own lives and situations

Victims often use unfortunate past events to attempt to make others feel bad for them

Victims often dramatize their stories in orderto maximize the attention and pity that they get

Victims tend not to notice that their attitude does not bring healthy, successful people closer tothem... that, rather, it drives them and keeps them away

3:56 [2] {2} - the nice guy

The *Nice Guy" Is someone who believes thathe should go out of his way to always be sweet,nice, generous, and understanding ... no matter what the circurnstances

Nice guys don't draw boundaries, they don't stand up for themselves, and they don't say "no"very often

Usually Nlce Guys harbor a secret belief: That they're better than everyone else becausethey're so "nice"

Of course, nothing could be further from the truth ... when you're befng nice in order to getsomethlng back, you're being manipulative

Secondary Payoffs of Being a "Nice Guy":

Get to feel better than other guys

Get to do things you feel "owed" for

Get that selfish good feeling of doing "nice things"

Track 3/4 [2] {2} - types of wusses | the [yeah but] she's different wussy

I have watched one man after another screw up their chances with attractive women - andscrew up their long-term relationships with attractive women - because they just refused tointegrate the "Don't Be A Wussy" mindset

These were sharp, intelligent guys... in many cases they were men who were very goodwithwomen ... but they always found ways to convince themselves that the particular woman theywere dealing with was DIFFERENT


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I can't help but confront my guy friends when I see them potentially screwing up their chanceswith a girl (or a girlfriend, or even a wife)... and they always give me that same shoulder shrugwith the "Yea, you're probably right" look

There's usually some comment about "this girl is really special' or "I think that this one isdifferent"...and It always ends up Ihe same way

When you let your Inner Wussbag outto roam freely, only bad things will happen

Don't say l didn't warn you about this one

1:39 [3] {2} - the "I want her to like me for me" wussy

Many guys I know (some that have been good friends for many years) will argue with me toothand nail about my concepts

The basic argument is that they don't like the idea that they need to "learn" my "techniques" inorder to meet a woman

They typically have an idealistic fantasy of meeting a woman who just falls for them and lovesthem for who theyare... without them having to actually DOanything

Most of these guys go months and months without dates. which isn't at all surprising

The common ending to thisstory is that they meet a girl that they think is all kinds of fun... andshe realizes after not too long that she's dealing with a Wussy who wants lo kiss her ass and beMr.Super NiceGuy... and she hits the road or makes his life hell

2:49 [2] {2} - there's this one special girl wussy

If there's one question I get so often that I wish I had a Tazer Stun Gun to use on guys who askit... it's the 'There's this one special girl, and I have GOT to have her ... how do I get her?"question

What's funny is that I often get emails that start with "I've been using these techniques to meetand date some amazing women ... right now I'm dating two models and a lifeguard ..." and thenthey drop the bomb ... "But there's this ONE SPECIAL GIRL that I really want ... and I have tohave her"

The only thing that this obsession says about you is that you're secretly a WORLD-CLASSWUSSBAG

If you really like a girl, fine ... but don't get obsessed with her - it's a Wussy move3:52 [5] - evicting the inner wussy

Center Yourself

Stand up straight, balancing perfectly on your splne


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Three deep breaths, slowly taking control of your body and life

Relaxyour shoulders, stomach, Jaw, and forehead as you exhale each tlme

Look up and to the center, open and notice the edges of yourperipheral vislon

Inhale slowly, and notice both the feeling of air rushing into your nose, and your stomach expanding

and contracting at the same tlme

Pay attention to your vision, the air rushing into your nose, and your stomach moving at the same

time...maintain that attentlon to quiet your mind

As you exhale, release emotional tension, anxiety, pressure, and ill feellngs toward yourself or others

In your imagination, open up your chest and your heart, allow that opening to envelop everything andeveryone around you

Track 3/5 [4] {3} - getting leverage

In any situation there is a place where you can use LEVERAGE to get magnified results

The keys to using leverage effectively are to always look for it, understand it, and have the ballsto use it when necessary

Tony Robbins has done a lot of work on this topic ... and I recommend that you read his books

To get started, try this:

- List 10 things that you REALLY don't like doing, then make a deal with a friend that you're goingto do one of those things If you don't accommplish a certain task by a certain time

- Think of somethlng you have wanted for a long time, then commit to buylng it or getting it foryourself if you put in an hour a day at something for one hundred days in a row

Tell five people that are close to you that you're going to do something, and if you don'taccomplish it you're going to give each of them a hundred dollars in cash - so they make sureand ask you

Hire a personal coach to keep you accountable. Send your coach a list of the things you want toaccomplish, then break each up into smaller tasks and have your coach ask you for personalcommitments.

Have regular meetings with your coach, and have your coach ask you point-blank questions

about whether or not you're keeping your word

Spend some time thinking about what NATURALLY motivates you (both positively andnegatively) and then use those things as tools to get leverage on yourself

One more way to get MASSIVE leverage on yourself is to understand and use what is called"Logical Levels"...

Track 3/6 [3] {2} - Logical levels


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Gregory Bateson and later Robert Dilts and others have discussed the concept of "LogicalLevels" or "Logical Types"

The basic concept is that there are different levels of context and meaning in brain structure andperceptual systems, and if you can put these levels into a useful and meaningful structure, you

can accomplish amazing things for yourself and others

Spirit/Physics

Reality

Identity

Beliefs

Values

Understanding ~knowledge/experience~

Skills

Techniques

Situations

Each of the "higher" levels acts as a context around all levels below it

Changing something at a higher level automatically changes all the levels below it

Changing something at a lower level can change a higher level, but doesn't always

The importance of adressing all the levels... unless you do that, it causes you to feel

something's missing in your life

3:11 [4] {3} - example of working with logical levels

Examples Of Working With Logical Levels

Let's take three levels as an example... Identlty, Skills, and Situations

For our example, let's say that we have a man who Is forty years old, recently divorced, and hasbeen out of the "dating game' for twenty years

He has decided that It's time to get back into the game, meet some women, and get some dates

If he were to work on "Situations" he might spend time trying to figure out where he should GOto meet women


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If he were to work on "Skills" he might spend time every day starting conversations wlth womenso he could become comfortable introducing hirnself

If he were to work on "Identity " he might spend time hanging around guys who were natuallygood at rneeting women and doung exercises to cultivate a strong self Image of a man who has

so many women around him that he doesn't have tlme for them all

If he could only chooseone, which one would be the best place to focus his energy and why?

"ALL levels need attention"~The model here is just a usefull map in knowing what to

adress, and how to prioritize them one to the other~

"Because Ithink that if you don't adress all the different levels in your life, you're going

to wind up having something missing"

****5:12 on reality****

Track 3/7...8...9...10...11 [5] - Johari Window

Track 3/12 [2] - Focusing on the level that will give you the most results

Most people are interested in getting instant results - we humans are wired to value results rightnow - not later

This leads most people to focus on the very lowest levels most of the time

Most men focus on situatlons then techniques

It's very rare to find a guy who's even Interested In skills and understanding ... never mindhigher levels like Reality, Identity, Beliefs

If you only focus on situations and techniques, but you keep the self image and bellefsystem of a guy who doesn't deserve or have success with women, what do you think isgoing to happen?

If the higher levels affect all of the levels below them; thenwhere do you think you should focusmost of your energy?

1:19 - [2] {3} focusing on the higher levels (reading the slide)

Reality - Describe your outlook on yourself and your reality. Do you see your reality as a placewhere you are in control? In your reality do things go your way? How would you change the wayyou view reality if you could?

Identity - Doyou see yourself as a man who deserves success with women? Do you seeyourself as a guy that women naturally want to be around? If you could change how you seeyourself, how would you change it?


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Beliefs - Do you believe that it's natural and easy to meet and attract women? Do you believethat women want to be around you? Do you believe that you're the very best choice a woman canmake? If you could install some new beliefs in your mind that would increase your success withwomen and dating, what would they be?

Values - Doyou have a clear set of values in your life that you live by? Do you value your time

and yourself and accept no disrespect or wasting of your time? What do you need to make moreimportant in your life, and what do you need to make less important?

Understanding - Do you understand exactly how and why women become and stay attractedto men? Do you know the step-by-step processof how a man and woman go from first eyecontact all the way to the bedroom? If there was one area that you should get a better educationand understanding of, what would it be?

2:37 - [5] {3} focusing on the higher levels (explanation)

Exercise: Comparing The Beliefs OfSuccess And

Failure

Your beliefs and self-image determine your success level with women

If you don't believe you can, your belief will be a self-fulfilling prophecy

Compare the beliefs of success and failure

Track 4/1 - [4] {4} self-programming

It has only been the last hundred or so years that evolutlon has become conscious of itself

I consider evolution to be possibly the greatest discovery of all time

If you have evolved to the point in your life where you embrace the idea of taklng control of yourown evolution, then you must become an expert in prograrnrnlng and reprogramming yourself

- Affirmations- Self Talk- Visualization- Written and Rewritten Goals- Reference Group

- Reading- Audlo/Video Education- Conscious Attention to Levels

"Something I do when something I want doesn't go well or a situation doesn't work out...and it's important... is I stop. And I replay it in my mind and go ok let's fix that. Lemme

visualize it going right and the things i'm going to do the next time. "


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Track 4/2 - [4] {3} mastering your emotional life

Most people are controlled by their emotional responses and their emotional responses toanticipated events and anticipated emotional responses

As you can imagine, when you begin allowing your life to be a constant game of anticipatingemotional responses, worrying about avoiding the situations that caused the response, anddealing with the emotions that you feel in response to your anticipation, it can create quite atangled mess

Many men allow themselves to live lives of quiet desperation, constantly imagining horriblesituations to avoid, then playing mental games to avoid feeling the emotions they are triggeringinside themselves by imagining bad situations and emotions!

If you want to have lasting success with women and dating, it is vital that you master youremotions

1:27 - [3] {3} various emotional types

Consider the following different types of emotions for this section:

Positive Ernotions Negative Emotions Emotions about past events - "Reflection Emotions" Emotions about present events - "Response Emotions" Emotions about future events - "Anticipatlon Emotions" Emotions about yourself Emotlons about others Emotions about relatlonship between yourself and others

Emotions about relatlonshlps between others that don't involve you

Emotional anchors... same emotional response every time you think about It Emotions responding to generalized concepts and judgments Emotional prejudice... responding to an idea or thought, not the thlng

2:53 - [2] {3} do we choose how we feel?

5:30 - [2] a 1-10 scale of emotional control

Track 4/3 - [3] {2} cultivating the pause

Track 4/4 - [3] {5} emotional reframing

"Being annoyed is great. You know why? Because it shows you a shadow issue! This is

one of those moments when you go... wow I got an insight about myself! "

Track 4/6 - [2] {3} objectifying your demons

Track 4/7 - [2] {2} shifting locus of control

Track 4/8 - [1] {1} encouraging independence in others

Track 4/9 - [1] {1} weapons of influence


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Track 5/1 - [3] {2} instant gratification | 0-1:30 reading slides....

2:24 - [3] {3} a new context for life

Track 5/2 - [2] {3} shifting time-frames

2:55 - [2] [3] desig time/run time

Track 5/3 - [5] {3} what we want

What We WantWe always want this: Without having to do this:

Return InvestReward WorkPerformance PreparationSecurity Risk

Action PlanInstant Gratification Delay Gratification

The reality is that each column is essentially the same thing. Investment is work is preparation is

risk is planning is delaying gratification. Return is reward is performance is security is action isinstant gratification. Once you begin to see the world through from the "invest first" paradigm -your results tend to increase dramatically over time

Think of the places in your life where you want the return without having to do the

investment.

Track 5/4 - [3] cognitive dissonance

Track 5/5 - [2] path or purpose

Track 5/6 - [8] {6} - 5/11... BIG questions

"So think about those for a minute. I hope you wrote some of them down. Pick out theone right now, close your eyes; pick out the one in your mind right now that was the one

that really stood out for you, like "ah that's the one that I really need to, I need to go one

way or other on. I'm on the wrong direction; I need to go the right direction. Or you know

what I just never even thought about it. But I can tell that if I just do that one, it'll make a

big difference for me" "

Track 6/4 - [1] {1} - 5/11... Center of the universe misconception

2:10 [1] {3} - Women aren't the center of the universe either

"Attractive women do have the power, and they know it. But it's because weunknowingly give it away to them. The reality of the situation is rather shocking, butobvious when you take the time to think about it. A real man, one that has his life

together in every way is far more rare and desirable than an attractive woman. How many

men have you known that were total package, meaning that they had all aspects of theirlifes handled, from being in control of their emotions, to keeping themselves healthy, to

knowing how to dress and groom themselves, to being great communicators, leaders and

interesting conversationalist, and how many physically attractive women have you


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known? Most people have known only a handfull of real men who had their lifes totally

together, but they've met hundreds or thousands of attractive women. Ask 10 attractive

women about this and they'll tell you that beatifull women are everywhere, but a real manis very rare, desirable and in high demand. It's often uncomfortable and daunting to even

consider changing a key belief and perspective like this and entertain the idea that you

could have been wrong all your life. But once you stop looking and treating attractivewomen as if they were rare and valuable and more important yourself, and you instead

realize that they key is in yourself; it has all kinds of magical effects. It starts to break

habit-patterns of thought and behaviour that put women in control of you. It helps yourealize that attractive women are desperately seeking and competing for something, and

you can be that something. It causes you to take responsibility for your thoughts,

emotions and results (that you're getting in the world) and it causes you to open your

mind to the idea that there is a way for you to cultivate the skill and ability to make

women feel attraction for you. "

Track 6/5 -- 2:41 - [4] bad beliefs

Track 6/6 - [1] {3} real man

Track 6/7 - [2] attractive women vs. real men

"Well imagine what it must be like for one of those attractive women who only meet aguy who really has his life together... every couple of years. Imagine what that must be

like. "

Track 6/8 - [1] {1} time travel

2:44 - [1] {1} does this picture require interpretation?

"Women don't require much time to interpret logically whether or not you're a real manwho has your act together, and whether to feel attraction. Does that make sense? Do you

get that? This is the male version. What we're talking about here (in this program) is other

side of the coin"

4:57 - [2] {4}

"That's the first kinda game, that's the universal game broken down to the simplest; to its

fundamental, stripped bare"

"These are the 2 stories, the timeless stories, summed up. Now... most... are the firstone... 99% of all the stories you're gonna hear [...] is number. What i'm gonna suggest is

that, that doesn't feel very powerfull when you're a man and you've been doing that.

You're pursing, you're striving, you're trying to get something you lack. That

communicates that you don't have what you need, you're not the center of the universe"


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"[story] number 2: that's what we're trying to do her" "Now i'm not suggesting that: shepursue you -> you run away... I'm not saying this is the best way. I'm just saying that if

you can understand this second one, if you can get a feel for it, you can start toexperience it in your real life, you know what it feels like, you get the feeling of it... It'll

change everything for you! "

Track 6/9 - [1] {3} status & weakness

"The topic that I feel is the center, the quitissential, the crux of this whole thing. If therewere one thing that you could just get at a deep level, its gonna be this section right

here"

**1:56 - pleasing yourself, no need for women (glover)**

4:31 - [1] {2} the secret of creating and maintaining attraction: status

Track 6/10 - [1] {3} status & weakness

*3:55 [4] quote from the improv book on the status realization*

Track 6/10 - [4] impact of status

"What I would like to suggest is that everything that you do, everything you say, everylittle gesture, every movement... all of it... conveys status... And that there's a subtle

motive behind even the most innocous or innocent gesture, thought, concept... all of it! "

"Everything will change. The way you see interactions will completely change. Youstart realizing that when you communicate with people and you start writing letter backand forth, you can hear when someone is trying to give you the 'i'm higher status than

you' view. You can feel it, and you can tell what they want"

"If your status... If the gap gets too far... two people can't really relate to each other. "

1:34 - [1] {2} status and attraction

Track 6/11 - [1] - quote from some book

Track 7/1 [1] {2} -Status, leadership, dominance

1:00 7/1 [1] {2} - Are you unconciously high status or low status

1:32 - Where does status come from?


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Coz security is the foundation of a high-status attitude. And yesterday, in the last

sections, that's what we were doing, we were uprooting alot of those insecurities...

we working on them. Coz when you uproot those, and you eliminate the insecurities,

you build-up your self-image, self-esteem, your value to yourself as a man, the

quality of life... you naturally start to become higher status in your mind

7/2 [2] {2} - Are you unconciously high status or low status

"It's actually a great strategy when you're learning this stuff and improving yourself as aman; is to find a bunch guys who are real high-status guys and hang around with them.

It's much better to be the lower-status guy hanging out with the really high status guy,

than it is to be a high-status than it is to be high-status guy hanging around a bunch of

guys who are low-status"

3:16 [1] {2} -

"Most of these are unconcious"

"This is a list of the things that the losers on the show TheApprentice do"

4:25 [1] {1} - Communicating high-status

7/3 [4] {2} - Two approaches to status

1:26 [3] {2} - moving toward high status and away from low status

"Identifying with high status... when you y'know walk in a social situation you're like[...] in interactions with women; you just do the high-status thing, coz you identify with

it. It's just a part of what you're doing. It's just a part of what you're doing, its part of who

you are.[]...and she does something, and you feel that twinge [...] I don't wanna piss heroff, in your mind you 'that's the low-status thing to do, you gotta be kidding, that's not

me""

They know that when they're hanging out with people and the high-status people [are]over here, they know they are not one of them. They notice they feel uncomfortable, and

the high-status people are hanging out and being cool and talking 'oh that's ... it'd get

kinda weird and' coz they identify with low status

I went to my first school dances [...] and didn't really have that many friends, and I wasn't

one of the cool kids... and I remember being at the dance, standing up against the wall,just watching, hoping that something would happen for me. And I can remember the

distinct feeling of all the kids dancing [...] and Ijustwas not part of that group. It was

really clear that there was a huge barrier that I could not figure out how to overcome.


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Back then it was... it semeed like it was very traumatic. [...] when I think back now I ,

what I realize is that I identified myself with low status. Unconciously that's who I was.

And I disidentified myself with high-status. I could not even imagine myself in thosesituations.

7/4 [2] {2} - status ranges

"Now everything i'm gonna share with you is a generality. When I say "always" "never"that's not what I mean... It means it's a principle. There are sometimes when I screw up inlife, i do something stupid, and as soon as I do, or make someone's life hard because of

my screw up... y'know what I just say "I am sorry, I screwed up, I'll do whatever it takes

to fix it""

"Like I said if you get too far above somebody [...] there's too much of a discrepancy.That can be a problem too, they just can't identify with the person. Your status is so much

higher than a woman... let's say you're dealing with a woman who doesn't have very highself-esteem; your status is too much higher; you're going to blow her out, you're gonna

[...] freak her out a little too much. Wanna maintain that healthy comfortable distance...

the zone, the flow... "

1:30 [1] {1} - the reccuring theme

6:08 [1] {1} - the ultimate mistake

7/5 [1] {2} - stay on your course

1:20 [1] {3} - a principle to guide all your actions and communications

"There's a way to say anythingand still not communicate lower status. You can still sayanything you want. There's a way to do it without communicating lower status. "~It'snot the opener, it's how you deliver it ~

1:20 [1] {3} - a principle to guide all your actions and communications2:04 [2] {3} - The prime directive

"If there's one thing you drill into your mind from this whole program, from everythingyou've ever heard or learned from me; this is it, the prime directive. Never communicate

lower status, never communicate lower status"

Go back to everything you've ever done wrong; everything [...] ever screwed somethingup; there it is... violated the prime directive

7/6 [1] {3} - masculine and feminine polarity

0:55 [2] {5} - David Deida and Ken Wilbur on the masculine and feminine energy


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"We talked about being on your path or purpose. When you're on your path, you're onyour purpose... it manifest itself to a woman as strong masculine presence, masculineenergy. That's a masculine energy thing. And since the polarities kinda arch and attract

each other; when you communicate that strong masculine presence, it will create the

reciprocal energy from the woman, the attraction will be created"

If women distract you, get you off track, take you off-base, freak you out; then that's

aboutyou, that's about your life. That's a mirror for you, that's a lesson; it's something for

you to learn. Your relationship to life is your relationship to feminine energy

4:10 - [4] Yin Yang sign

7/7 [1] {3} - feminine assestment

7/8 [1] - masculine context7/9 [1] {2} - myers-briggs type indicator

"It's been one of the most usefull things that i've ever learned in my life PERIOD barnone! It's something that I use everyday. I use it alot in bussiness, I use it in interpersonal

relationships, I use it in family, and yes I even use it when interacting with women"

~This also happens to automatically come out of "living an interesting life" if youbuild one, you're a "walking DHV", and a lot of the proper subcommunication arisesautomatically. Louis & Copeland cover it best in their mastery product under the "be

building a life you love" section ~

"I've come to believe, thru studying this for years, using it to interact with people, foryears, and myself... and reading alot of books about evolutionary biology, psychology

and alot of the tests that they've done about people, that most of this is genetic. I think

that most of this 'personality-type' stuff is... you're born with. I really belive that. And I

don't think that it changes much over time"

1:32 [4] {2} - the four pairs

"There's some books you should read, and the one I recommend the most is 'the artof speed-reading people' by Tieger"

7/10 [2] {2} - the temperaments


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" [introverts] Sometimes they don't look very happy. Introverted people are used togrowing up with people saying to them "what's wrong?" all the time. Coz the

notes dyd mastery journal

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