nothing but the truth : a comedy in three acts...truth tcomxd acts j.v ontgo...

Montgomery, JamesNothing but the truth

PS

3525

1920

Presented to the

LIBRARY of the

UNIVERSITY OF TORONTO

by

Mr. Edgar Stone

lothing But The Truth

\MES MONTGOMERY

MUEL FR!. New

'

BILLI

vood. 4

NOTHING BUT THE TRU'i

rrrommrn.lrd a muring-.try can boat.

IN WALKED JIMMY,

had a'

: hif evrwon the heart of t

;>lace at a permanent

.

10 M)

MARTHA BY-THE-DAY.

Cos-tumes mo'l'-r:;- I'!..ys 'J'j hours.

play wi!

Mi*r.<l in dong thik hat

an 1 bov ; lay, and t

CThe Abov A >icn Produ,

Bew tod Explicit Descriptive Catalogue Mailed Tree on Re

Nothing But Ti

Truth

tCOMXD ACTS

J.V ONTGO>M THE KOVEL OF TUB SAME NAME BY

rUMBJCK 8. ISIIAM

rVEUSHED BY B08BS-MEBB1LL CO.

*'

war

being fully jr the copyright law* of

the States and Cl subject to a

royalty, atul any one presenting the play withoutthe ooosei '- '^ the aut -honied a.

will be lial'' penalties by lawfor the amat

v York. Appl >r the professional

ing rights must be r. 'Me American PkyCompany, 33 West 43nd Street, New York.

w York

SAMUEL FRi

Pub!

2t-30 West 38th

London

SAMUEL FRENCH. Ltd.

Publisher

*6 Southampton St , Strand

CorruGHT, 1914 (in Novel Form), BY THE BOBBS-MKR-RILL COMPANY

COPYRIGHT, 1914 (under the title of "Gid Ap"), BY THEBOBBS-MERRILL COMPANY

COPYRIGHT, 1916, BY MARK E. SWANCOPYRIGHT, GREAT BRITAIN, 1920, BY SAMUEL FRENCH

COPYRIGHT, DOMINION OF CANADA, 1920, BY SAMUEL FRENCH

COPYRIGHT, 1920, BY SAMUEL FRENCH

All Rights Reserved

Especial notice should be taken that the posseof this book without a valid contract for productionfirst having been obtained from the publisher, con-

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In its present form this play is dedicated to the

reading public only, and no performance of it maybe given except by special arrangement with SamuelFrench, 28-30 West 38th Street, New York.

SECTION 28 That any person who wilfully or for

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cretion of the court.

Act of March 4, 1909.

The following is a copy of the playbill of the 6m perform.the LoogBcre

Thru York City, Thursday livening, September 14,

U ii iRAZEE

PBBSBM

-NOTHING HIT THH TIU.TH-

A

COMEDY IN THREE ACTS

BY

JAMES MONTGOM!

m the i.- same name by Frederick S. Isham

TUE CAST

Robert Bennett :iiam Collier

E. U. Ralston Raplcy HolmesDick Donnelly Morgan ComanQarence Van Duscn Ned A. Sparks

Bishop Doran Arnold LucyGwendolyn Ralston Margaret Brainerd

::. M. Ralston Maude Turner GordonEthel Qark lone BrightMable Jackson Vivian Wesscll

Sable Jackson Mary HarperMartha csa Mkhdeoa

SYNOPSIS or Souns

ACT I. Interior of a broker's office in one of the principaluptown hotels.

ACT II. Parlor in summer home of E. M. Ralston. LongIsland.

ACT III. Same as Act II.

Nothing But The Truth

ACT I

SCENE: Interior of a broker's office in one of the

principal uptmtm New York hotels. The /

mture is characteristic of a prosperous bro>

age firm. Arch entrance leading to hotel

corridor R. 1st; Door in back flat R. with in-

terior backing. Double windows in back flat

L. c. wi//i street drop outside; Door to private

office L. I with interior backing. Chair R. half

way between door R. i and desk c. Stockker and hat rack between door R. I and

door in back fat R. Picture of George Wash-

ington on back flat between door L. and tor-

menter; Flat top desk c. with chairs R., L. andc. Telephone and office material on desk.

VAN DUSEN discovered seated L. of desk i.

reading the stock market quotations from the paper.

(Enter RALSTON from Right)

RALSTON. HH1o, Van! (Hangs up hat up R.,

goes to chair back of desk)VAN. Hello.

RTON. Where arc those two partners ofmine?

I don't know.

6 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH

RALSTON. If pretty soft for them to have anoffice in an uptown hotel with three bars cafes,

me they have to spend any of their time

on business.

J|. Why don't you look in the bar ?

RALSTON. They're not in there.

How do you know ?

I was in there myself.You left the downtown office rather early,

RALSTON. As soon as the market closed.

VAN. Market close strong?juKsTON. (Going up to ticker up c.) Yes.

Trade was pretty dull up here, apparently.

V^jjL. Very slow.

KALSTON. (Coming down L. c.) Except in the

cafe, (Enter Bishop Doran from R. arch. Comesto R. c.)

VJAH. (L. to RALSTON, who has his back to

"bull of } \Yho is the gentleman in the uniform?RALSTON. Uniform? Ah, Bishop Doran ! Come

right in, Bishop.BISHOP. (Comes down R. c.) I'm glad to find

you in, Mr. Ralston.

RALSTON, (c. standing) Our services are over

for the day.BISHOP. (R. c.) Oh, I'm not opposed to the

stock market, Mr. Ralston that is, when it repre-sents legitimate trading.

(Latter part of this speech read directly at VAN,who is extreme L. by desk.)

RALSTON, (c.) Mr. Van Dusen, Bishop Doran.

^UL (L. Removing hat) Delighted to meet

you. Bishop Doran.BISHOP. Mr. Van Dusen.RALSTON, (c.) Anything I can do for you,

Bishop?

NOTHING BUT THE TRIT 7

BISHOP. Your daughter is the treasurer of the

! am chairman the

it to raise by subscription the money to build

an addition to the Seaside Home for Children.

sses to bock of table c.) Yea, I

know all aboi

BISHOP. I notice she has notapproached you on

the v'

I may make so bold I thought I

her of Vou know, sometimes>n't like to ask members of our own family

money.RALSTON. (Turning to VAN) I have never

imily felt that way about it.

Biv thought maybe it would be

better for it to come from me. It is your intention

to give us a don it not?

RALSTO:BISHOP. rdon me, I'm sorry.

RALSTON. Evidently you haven't seen my daugh-ternoon.

BISHOP. (Ticker)RALSTON. Well, then ! Last evening she tackled

me for a subscription. It seems she has to

forty-thousand dollars or more.

BISHOP. We shall use all of that. (Stof> ticker)

RALSTON. (Crosses c.) I told her that if she

1 $20,000 before the end of the month I would. or that I would double anything you

1 above $20,000.Bis lost generous, I should say!

STON. So } hardly expect me to con-

tribute to a sum which I shall have to double as

BISHOP. Hardly. Of course, I didn't know of

We are very gratified I assure;.

RALSTON*. But you remember you must raise the

$20,000 within five days! (Goes to desk)


BISHOP. We shall do our utmost.

RALSTON. (Turning to VAN. Sitting) I hopehe f

BISHOP. I beg your pardon?RALSTON. Nothing nothing! I believe in help-

ing those who help themselves.

BISHOP. A wise observation. (Ticker)RALSTON. You don't really have to start build-

ing at once, do you? Won't next spring do just as

well? (Stop ticker)BISHOP. (Crosses to R.) Oh, no, we have

started, we must push right on. Thank you, Mr.

Ralston, I will report your kind offer to the com-mittee. I am a poor man, but I realize what a won-derful joy must come from giving to others. (Exits

right arch)RALSTON. (Sits c.) I never knew a poor man

that didn't believe in giving away money.

V^m Maybe that's one reason why they're poor.

(Crosses to R.)DICK. (Enter R. Puts hat on rack up R.;

Hello. (Crosses to desk left)

y^fr Hello, Dick. ('VAN exits R.J 4R

KALSTON. Mr.Donnelly,

can you spare me amoment of your valuable time?

DICK. Certainly, E. M., I didn't know you werehere.

RALSTON. Well, someone has to be in the office

to attend to business. (RALSTON sees the papers in

Dick's hands, which consist of a check, businessstatement and an inventory) (Ticker) What's thatstuff?

DICK. Business.

RALSTON. What kind of business add or sub-tract?

DICK. A little of both. (Stop ticker)RALSTON. What's that, a check ?

NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH o

K. Yes.

RALSTON. Ill take it. (Reaches over desk andtakes it away from f>

DICK. Just a moi a mistake.

RALSTON. How is it a mistake?

DICK. It's too muRALSTON. Is that all that's the matter with

RALSTON. It's all right then. (Puts check in

pocket) What's th.

DICK. It's an agreement between the hotel peo-\<\ the firm in regard to the new rugs in the

corridor.

RALSTON. What have we got to do with

K, They want you to read it.

RALSTON. Docs it cost me anything?DICK. No.RALSTON. Do we make any money out of it?

K. No.RALSTON. Then show it to me on a holiday.

What do you think this is, a reading room ? V(Referring to other paper) The day's sales?

*rjK. Yes.

RALSTON. Why haven't you sold any of this

quick silver sto<

DICK. Not a request for it.

RALSTON. Are you going to wait until they begyou for it? (Enter BOB BENNETT, up R. c. Goesto stock ticker. Dick goes up stage and dropsaround L. Consults the quotation sheet downstage)

BOB. Hello

RALSTON. \ on dolntr in that other room?aren't you out '-ig to bi:

BOB. I dor. to meet Van Dusrn. I hatehim and I don't want to meet him.

io NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH

RALSTON. (Stop ticker) (Yells) ComeBennett.

BOR. (Going down to R. of desk) Don't yell at

roc like that. Whom do you think you're talking to,

Dick?DICK. What?RALSTON. (To DICK) Shut up. Why haven't

you fellows sold any of this quick silver stock ?

BOB. I'm waiting to find out what you're goingto do with it.

RALSTON. Waiting! Well, I'll have to keep it

if vou don't sell it.

BOB. I mean are you going to develop it? I

wouldn't sell it to any of my customers as it stands.

RALSTON. That's the way you feel about it. Justbecause you don't own any of it yourself, you won't

try to sell it. I've got a hundred thousand dollars

sunk in that mine and I've got to get it out.

BOB. Just a moment, E. M. Just because youlost a hundred thousand dollars on a propositionand had to foreclose, that's no reason why yourpartners should have to peddle it out to customerswho give us their confidence.

RALSTON. What's confidence for if you don't

make capital out of it?

DICK. I'd sell it if I got a bid for it.

BOB. Well, I wouldn't until I knew somctmore about it.

RALSTON. You refuse to help me to get mymoney back?

BOB. I'll help you as soon as I get a report onthe property.RALSTON. You know what Quick Silver is, don't

you? It's a very valuable commodity.DICK. What is it used for?

BOB. Tn this case, it was used to borrow a hun-dred thousand dollars on.

NOTHING BUT THE TRU I ir

RALSTON. (Rising) You're a smart little fel-

low, aren't you?BOB. My mother thinks so. (Goes up c.)

RALSTON. (Going to hat rack by door a., gets

hat) I'm going to get shaved. (Turns to BOB)You don't want to buy any of it yourself, do you?

BOB. No, I don't want to change my mother's

RALSTON. Dick ?

K. No, I can't affor

RALSTON. (Slapping hat on head) Huh ! I

nets is terrible. right arch)

ting L. on table L.) Do you think the

old man ir himself?

BOB. I don't know.DICK. Let's help him out. We can sell some

BOB. I will as soon as I get a report. I've made

up my mind, Dick, to sell actual values, things I

believe ir f DICK gives BOB a sharp look)I may not make as much money as the other

fellov i think it will be a great deal better

in the end. (Tinker)DICK. The end will come quicker than you ex-

pect, if you try that method in our businc

BOB. (Going up to stock ticker) I'm going to

try it.

DICK. lust because you're in love with the old'

daughter you can't afford to oppose him.

lie way, when do you think of getting mar-ried?

BOB. Constantly. (Exits up center doors.

Voices off stage. Voices of the following char-

acters heard outside, MRS. RALSTON, GWEN, ETHELand VAN DUSEN in arch)

RALSTON. We can't stay but a moment.ETHEL. Is Dickie here?


\A]L Did you motor down ? (Enter VAN first,

MIS^KALSTON second, GWEN thrid, and ETHEL

fourth) (Goes c.) I found these charming ladies

in the corridor.

MRS. RALSTON. Hello, Dickie. (Crosses to

R. CJDICK. How do you do, Mrs. Ralston? (Mas.

RALSTON crosses to L. Dick greets GWEN, then

crosses to R., meets ETHEL. GWEN stays c. VANcrosses to above desk)ETHEL. Hello, Dickie!

DICK. Hello, Ethel!

GWEN. Where's Bob?DICK. He's in the stock room. (GwEN goes up

to doors c. R.JMRS. RALSTON. (Seated at L. of desk Lj Dickie,

did Gwen invite you down for the week end ?

DICK. Why, no.

GWEN. (By doors R. upper looking out) I

haven't had the opportunity until now, mother, but

you know you are invited, Richard.

DICK. I'll be delighted to come, thank you.RALSTON, (to VAN who has crossed from R. to

L. above table during the general greeting) AndMr. Van Dusen, can I persuade you to come withthem?VAIL (Above desk) I'm not being invited sim-

plyRcause I happen to be around, am I ?

MRS. RALSTON. You know better than that.

Y&L- I'll come anyway, and thank you.fflB. RALSTON. We have such a delightful sum-

mer colony this season. Miss Qark's father hasbuilt there.

Oh, J. P. Clark?[RS. RALSTON. Yes.

ETHEL. And we have Bishop Doran in the old

Curtis place.

Nf , BUT THE TRUTH 13

The Bishop?And the

Bishophas promised to take

the pulpit at our little church one Sunday for

Gwen's char

K. That ought to draw them in. (*.)

MRS. RALSTON Vt know. Time* hare

changed so. You car. ;*oplc to church dur-

ine the summer.mg the

UA#. Why pick on the summer?RALSTON. (L. of desk) Yes, and we've

lost our music for Sunday service.

DICK. That's too bad. (*.)MRS. RALSTON. (L. of desk) Our choir boys

are all caddies on the golf links. Our organist andtenor are working in a moving picture, and our

is_up in the city singing in a cabaret.

know where the moneytut we hope that Bishop Doran's

preaching will attract the people.YAK. He was just here.

W. RALSTON. (Rises) Bishop Doran? Wheredid he ;

VAJJ, He might be in the ba cafe.

KTHEL. Dickie, let's try to find him. (Exit arch

*.)

!C. I'm thirsty anyway. (Exit arch RjVAN. (Crosses to R.) I've been thirsty for ten

pern!MRS. RALSTON. (Crosses to c.) The Bishop is

n Gwen's charity. I want to tell himhe should urge all our friends to give in pro-

portion to what

\JA. (K.) I have four dollars. Ill give himten per cent of that. K. ) ^B

IN. (Crosses M R. \ not the

amount.'

it in which it is given. Arcyou coming, dear?

i4 NOTHING BUT THE TRU 1

GWEN. (Crosses to R. c.) No, mother, I'm go-

ing to wait here for Bob.

MRS. RALSTON. Very well, den; . I'll join Ktlul.

nust pay a great deal of attention to her. Herfather is so influential. (Crosses to door.

BOB from stock room up c. Crosses down, greets

GWEN;BOB. Gwen !

GWEN. Robert! Oh, mother, here's Robert.

s. RALSTON. (Who is about to make an exit

R. turns) Good afternoon, Robert.

BOB. How are you, Mrs. Ralston. (Shakeshands with MRS. RALSTON )

MRS. RALSTON. Gwen, tell your father we are

in the cafe. (MRS. RALSTON exits R. GWEN goesto R. arch and looks off)

BOB. (R.) Don't go yet, please.GWEN (Sits in chair R. of table, BOB R. of

GWEN^ Oh, I'm not going. I wanted to see youalone. I need your help, Bob.

BOB. (R.; I'm entirely at your service.

GWEN. It's very important, and you must prom-ise me that you won't say a word about it to

one.

BOB. CR.J You know that I would not repeat

anything you told me in confidence.

GWEN. I want you to do me a favor. It's aboutbusiness and you're the only one I can trust to

help me.BOB. Of course, I'll help you, Gwen; but your

father is the business man here.

GWEN. I consider you the smartest man in the

firm.

BOB. Would you mind telling your father that ?

GWEN. No, I'd tell him in a minute.

BOB. Well?GWEN. Father and Dick must not know that I

NOTHING BUT THK TRUTH 15

have talked with you. They most not dream that

we are going to be partners.BOB. Oh. are we going to be partner*?

KM. Yes. (Takes ten one thousand dollar

bills from her handbag) Do you tee these?

BOB. ( his e\fs in a dated way)'

GWEN. Yes, what < vat?Bon t a thousand dollar bill ?

GWEN. Ten of them. One two three

BOB. Don't count. We're partners. Come overto my office. Don't drop any on your way over.

n me, partner {Leads GWEN from chair

>xj stage to chair R. of L, of table. Bo-

chair back of table} tor not realizing at one

importanceof this conversation. Now what can

I do for y<

I'm so upset I don't know what I'm

doin these four days. It's been in twobanks, in my safety deposit vault, under my pillow,in my stock (Catches herself on word stocking)I beg your pardon, I .lly worried.

BOB. How can you possibly worry with ten thou-

sand dollars?

GWEN. It's not enough. I want you to invest

>r me.BOB. No, you mean you want the firm to invest

it?

GWEN. No. no. I told you, father and Dickmust know nothing about it. I must make a lot of

mom ! think speculation is the best

BOB. It is if you v

GWEN. 1 must win. I can't lose, for it's not mymoiBOB. Not your moi

KM. No.


BOB. Whose money is it ?

GWEN. Everybody's.BOB. Everybody's? Maybe they'll worry.

Gwen, where did you get this money ?

GWEN. Well, you see I am treasurer of the com-

mittee which is to raise by subscription the moneyfor our new seaside home for children.

BOB. You have $10,000. What more do youwant? Isn't that enough? Why invest it?

GWEN. Because father told me if I raised

$20,000 before the end of the month, and that's onlyfive days off, he'll double it. Don't you see, I can't

fail now. It would be terrible to have to return

this money.BOB. Well, possibly if I invest it you won't have

to return it.

GWEN. Yes, that's what I thought. You see,

I'm not asking very much. You'll only have to

double it, that's all.

'

BOB. Yes, that's all. Just a moment, let me see

if I have this right. You spoke so rapidly I don't

know whether I understood you or not. Now. as

I understand it, all you want me to do is double

your $10,000.GWEN. Yes.BOB. Yes, you see I was right; that's what I

thought youGWEN. And Bob, I want you to do it as quickly

as possible.BOB. Ill do it right away.GWEN. (Rises) Of course, there is one terrible

aspect to it.

BOB. Which one is that?

GWEN. Well, it's not my money, and it's not

yours, and if it's lost, we'll have to replace it outof our own pod:

BOB. I knew it was something like that. Out

UIN'G BUT THE TRUTH 17

of our own pockets! That's a point to

You may not care to incur that risk.

GWEN. Ah, hut if there in nove too smart to lose and you must win for my

sake, Bob.Bon. Let me see if I've got thin straight? If I

noney will you let me speak to your father

about r.

s. (Looks for money) What did I

do with that money? (S- k, dashes forsame) You'd better take this before I lose it.

Bon. Give it to me, and let me worry. That'sI seldom do it.

(Looks at money and straightens it out. Starts to

put it in I hate to mi;

(Doubles m/ > one way of doubling it.

fGWEN laughs taking step R. BOB puts tnot:

pants fiockft. Takes a few steps tcncard R. to see

how : tarts to put it in other

pants pocket, but doesn't, then feels in his upperright vest pocket, but doc -T to left the

audience can get the fash of a one dollar bill againstffn thousand; then feels in the left upper

vest pocket to sec if he had a hole in it. AsBOB has pulled out the lining of pocket, GWENspeaks)

GWEN. (R. c.) Which pocket are you going to

keep it

BOB. (c.) I think :!d look well in here,

don' 1

(Puts money in left upper vest

pocket)GWEN. (R. c.) Yes, don't get it mixed up

your money.BOB. (c.) I \v.;/t If I ever sec h my

money. I'll recognize it. (Ready Phone)GWEN. (R. c.) Now tell me, how many days

will it be before I get my twenty thousand?

18 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTi 1

BOB. (c.) Ill have to think it over.

GWEN. (R. c.) Surely, by the end of the week.

iust be.

BOB. (c.) Well, if it must be that's the way it

will be.

GWEN (L. to door K.) Now call me up the verymoment you get my money for me, and oh, Bob,

you don't realize how happy you have made me!

(Bos starts to embrace GWEN, just as RALSTONenters from R. RALSTON places his hat on the hat

rack at door R. up. BOB has his arms extended in

the position of an embrace. They realize that RAL-STON has caught them. GWEN quietly exits right.

BOB goes up to chair R. and measures it with his

arms extended, saying aloud for the audience, but

presumably to himself:)BOB. I think that will be large enough. (Meas-

ures it then makes an exit R. with anns stilt ex-

tended. RALSTON looks after them, humors the

situation and then PHONE BELL)RALSTON. (Phone bells rings. Goes to desk)

Hello! Who? J. P. Carter? Put him on. Hello,

Joe. What is it? Yes yes yes everything is

all right. I attended to that this morning. Oh, bythe way, Joe, I want to explain something to you.

my daughter Gwen been to see you? Oh, she

hasn't. Now listen, Joe. She's in a charity sdiemeand I have agreed to double any amount they raised

over $20,000. When she gets to you just explainto her that you can't donate anything at present.I don't want to get stuck on that promise of mine.

Yes, do that. All right, fine! Eh! Golf! Oh,

poker! Sure, 111 play all day Sunday. Good-bye.(Hangs up receiver. Enters DICK R.) Has mywife left yet?

DICK. (Crosses to desk) They are just aboutto leave with Bishop Doran. (Extreme L.j

NOTHING RUT THF. TRUTH

RALSTT tses to door L. I ) Are you goingto give anything to Owen's charity?

! : I 'm going to give seven or eight thousanddollars.

RALSTV it?

Behave (Exits RALSTON L. into pri-vatf office i.. i. E. F.nter MABEL AICD SABEL *.

arch )

KL. (ist to c. ) This is the place, Mabel, and

IIBL. (Crossing to center, to DICK L. c. frontWell, i' >ickie,

and you were standing right here waiting for

DICK. How ar

SABEL. We were in the en

DICK. \ i't you send for me?MABEL. Is this a stag office?

DICK. Well, not exactly, but during business

hours you knowSABEL. (Crosses /< r. ) Well, we're here on

business.

MABEL. 1* \ve called. A gentle-man friend of mine gave me a hundred shares ofstock and I want to sell it

MABEL. It's a company that goinpr to take gold

right out of the oc<

K We don't handle that style of stock,

-L. Well, the idea!

MABEL. It's perfectly good, my gentleman fr

I'd get dividends and even-thing. (:

VAN R., crosses to center, sees tl: turns andstarts to rv

(Crosses to Rj My mistake.

ABEL. \Vcll if I ^ld-One-Seat-on-the-

Itl


SABBL. Hello!

^jfr Mabel and Sabel. How in the world did

you get here? Aren't you working?SABEL. We never work in the summer, but we

tried out a vaudeville act for next season. (Sits

chair*.)DICK. How long did you play?MABEL. One night. The manager said it was

too refined, but I am so glad we did it. It gave us

so much confidence. (Sits on desk LjYou needed that, (c.)

rcK. Mabel, bring that stock in tomorrow aboutnoon time.

MABEL. Will you be here then ?

DICK. Yes.

MABEL. Well, as long as this is a stag office,

little Mabel is going to have a cigarette.DICK. Not here, Mabel.MABEL. Well, why not?Dicr. Wait until you get back into the cafe.

(Crosses back of table LjMABEL. Indeed, I wouldn't smoke in a cafe.

You never can tell what the waiters will think.

(Enters RALSTON from left. Sees the two girls,

starts to exit L.)SABEL. (Rises) Oh, there's Mr. Ralston. I've

seen your picture in the papers so many times.

MABEL. THE Mr. Ralston is much older than

you are.

RALSTON. (Crosses to L. corner of desk Lj Howare you all.

MABEL. I do believe you are Mr. Ralston. Whatdo you think. They tell me I can't smoke.

RALSTON. Who said so? You couldn't smoke?(At desk)MABEL. Richard.

RALSTON. You can smoke if you want to.

NOTHING BUT THE TRU 1 21

MABEL. Fine, have you a match?RALSTON. Yet.

-TEL. Would you mind lighting thij for

RALSTI. DeliglvYAM. I love her work. (Enters BOB from R.,

drZTsaown txtrem* R. and sees RALSTON lightingMABEL'S cigarette )

SABEL. (v o's a customer.VAN r< ) He's only a partner. (Ready Phon*)nk,BOB. (With cigar) Not Izzie, Bob. You don't

mind my smoking,:

MABEL. No, m iro ripht ahead.

SABEL. Oh, someone ought to take us back into

the cafe. We left our check on the table. (Simid-toneouslv BOB turns and goes up R. DICK goes up

RALSTON goes to the stock board, down L.)

MABEL. I want Mr. Ralston to come with us.

RALSTON.Sorry,

but I'm too b

DICK. Van will take you.

VAJL Who must be done, must be done;

sHlL. WVJ^L Come along, chick. I haven't been so ex-

citedin years. (E.rits with BABEL R. MABELcrosses from L. to R > ^

HEL. Well, I'm sorry 111 have to walk rightout of your little office. have at least onemore dance. (Business of swaying body, hums tune

la da da li la da da di) Good bye, Ctitic. (ExitsR., blows a kiss to RALSTON and exits Rj

BOB. (R. as RALSTON turns he meets BOB faceto face) How long has this thing been going on,

tie?

RALSTON. Shut up. (Crosses to desk Lj Nowonder you can't sell any stock for me. Supposethey had come in here a moment ago.


DICK. (L.) That's the first time- they were ever

here. I met them the other night at a party.

RALSTON*. Suppose the Bishop had been here, or

n or Miss Qark. You know, peoplearc selfish, they think only of that which interests

themselves. Take this quick-silver stock, for in-

stance. It should be handled as though it be-

longed to the firm. You two boys should help me

get rid of it.

BOB. Do you think it's any good?RALSTON. Do you think it's any good? That

isn't the question. You've got to sell it for me.

DICK. (L.) Mean to. I'm after it the first thingin the morning.

RALSTON. Well, it's high time you did. Ill

begin right now to show you how it's done.

(Pause) (At phone) Get me the Harbor Trust

Company, Mr. Marshall. (Hangs up recr

You've got a lot to learn.

BOB. (Crosses to R. c.) Lot to learn. Hedoesn't know anything. (To Dick)RALSTON. Yes, and you too, Bennett. Come

back here, Bennett. (Bennett starts for doors upR. c.) Come here, Bennett, I want you to hear this,

too. Sit down and listen to me. I'll show youhow to sell stock. (Bennrtt drops down and sits

in chair R.) Quick-silver is a very valuahle com-

modity. (Short Phone) Hello. Oh, Mr. Marshall.

ITow'd you like to make some money? Well, I

thought I'd ask you, you never can tell. I have astock that is absolutely A-i, and it's a shame to sell

it to the public. It's quick-silver. (Seated back ofdesk) It's sure to advance in a few days and you'lldouble your money. It's three and a half a sharenow. I figured your allottment at five thousandshares. All right. I'll send your certificate over at

once. Don't thank me. Good-bye. (Hangs up re-

NOTHING BUT Till. Tkl 33

fewer. Turns to Dick who is at L. of table ) Dick,

make out this certificate. Send it over Mar-

shall, and grt his check. That's the way to sell it.

Tell them a1

Dn a a wonder.RALSTON. (In phone) Get me Mr. Hadley.

(Ready phone)BOB! (Desk) Say, E. M., do you really believe

s quick-silver mine? (Crossing to R. of desk

above it)

RALSTON. Certainly.BOB. Do you think an investment in this stock

wouM <' Ji .1 few days?RALSTON. It's been done.

BOB. (Feeling the money that GWEN has given

Him) Well, I've got a little money I'd like to turn

RALSTON. You mean for yourself?BOB. Yes.

RALSTON. Keep off of th:-. I don't know any-

thing about it, but I've got to sell it. (Bob dropsaround and sits in chair R. of desk. Dick has madeout the certificate and exits R. c.) (To Bob) Youdon't expect to find an investment that will double

your money in two or three days, do you?BOB. No. but I'd like to.

RALSTON. We'd all like

BOB. You told Marshall he'd double his money.(Phone bell rings) (Short Phone)RALSTON. Yes, and that's what I'm going to tell

Hadley. (Ralston takes receiver off phone) (EnterDICK R. c. Comes L. of desk) Hello, Mr. Hadley.How would you like to make some money? Well,

t thought I'd ask yon, you never can tell. I

hive a stock A number i, and it's

a shame to sell it to the put'BOB. It's a shame to sell it to anybody. (RAL-


STON repeats the same business of covering mouth-

piece)RALSTON. It's quick-silver, Sulphur Bank Mine,

New Mexico, three and a half a share, now. If

you'll hold the line a minute, I'll let you know howmuch I can let you have. (Next line spoken as if

rtt was in another room) Oh, Mr. Bennett.

BENNETT. Yes. Well?RALSTON. Don't sell that last block of stock, I

want to hold it for Mr. Hadley. (Phone Ready)BOB. All right, I'll put it right here. (Makes

movement as if he's placing stock on table ink

stand)RALSTON. Hello, Mr. Hadley? I can let you

have eight thousand shares, that's all, Hadley. All

right, I'll send you a certificate over at once. Don't

thank me. Good-bye. (Hangs up receiver) Dick,make out this certificate. Send it over to Mr. Had-

ley, and get his check.

BOB. Get anything else you see around the office.

RALSTON. Seventeen thousand five hundred and

twenty-eight thousand is forty-five thousand five

hundred dollars. There's no doubt but it's a greatlittle mine.

DICK. Isn't it wonderful? E. M. is the greatestsalesman in New York.RALSTON. The trouble with you boys is that you

wait for your customers to figure out what theywant. You should figure out what they ought to

want and make them want it whether they do ornot. Now, I'll sell J. P. Clark.

BOB. (Disgustedly) Sell it all to him and getthis off our minds. fDiCK exits RjRALSTON. (Into phone) Hello, get J. P. Clark.

Say that E. M. Ralston wants to talk to him.

(Hongs up) If I can sell Clark, the rest is easy.The public is crazy to follow his lead.

NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 25

BOB. I think it is, too. (DICK enters, crosses to

L. of desk)RALSTON. He should want ten thousand shares.

(Two good rings on phone) Great invention, the

telephone. You don't have to look a man in the

(Takes up phone) 'his you, Mr(Brusquely) Oh, his secretary

Mr. Gark that 1 ilston called him up.I've got a sure thing for him. Quick-silver mine

'uhur Bank. Bargain counter price. It's a

wonderful mine. (1\ 'he same business of

calling to Bennett, only this time much louder)

RALSTON. Don't sell that last block of stock. I

want to hold it for Mr. Clark.

BOB. AH right. I'll put it back here.

RALSTON. (Into phone) I didn't intend th.it

you should hear that, but tell J. P. I'll hold it for

him anyway and have him call me up the minutehe comes in. Don't forget. Good-bye. (Hangsup) He's not in. but he'll buy. See what I can do

or three minutes?DICK. (Left of table) It's marvelous.RALSTON. I've got to do it.

BOB. (Rises, goes c.) Of course you can aefl

j>eople it's a wonderful mine and that

the stock to go up. If they believe you are

telling the tr1 STON. How do >\v it isn't a wonder-

ful mini know the price* won't ad-

vcll, doesn't it?

BOB. Under the conditions Yes. (Enter VANfrom R. Stay R. )

RALSTC >, Van.DICK. Did you get rid of them?

I'm here.


BOB. How arc you, Van? T am awfulb

to sec you back. (Bob crosses to extreme R. andshakes hands. Rubs his hands together as if to

wash away the handshake. He then sits in chair RjRALSTON. (Takes check out of his rest pocket,

looks at it. The intent from now on in this sceneis that he is going to hook VAN,) Good Lord! I

don't know what to do with all this money. It's

signed by J. P. Qark and he's going to make aworld of money out of that stock.

YAfk (Crosses to desk. Crossing from R. to

L. c. by desk) What's Gark buying now, E. M.?RALSTON. (Seated back of desk) Oh, you

wouldn't be interested.

How do you know I wouldn't ?

JTON. Well, I really don't know.Is it safe?

KALSTON. Do you think J. P. Gark would buyit if it wasn't safe?

VAfl. (Crossing back to center) Of course, if

you figure me the kind of a customer who is notto be let in on the good things, I suppose it's all

right.

RALSTON. Oh, I'd like to have you in, all right,but it's a promotion stock and I didn't think that

you would want it.

VAM. I want anything that will make money,dofTtT?

RALSTON. (Rising) Do you want to make somemoney?

YA^. Oh, no I came here to play marbles.KALSTON. (Crosses to VAN; Sulphur Bank

quick-silver mine three and a half a share. Youcan have two thousand shares, no more, no less.

Take it or leave it. Snap judgment.

Vfff take it.

KALSTON (Stands back of desk) All right. Sit

N< G BUT THE TRUTH 37

here. (Indicating chair R. of ta' I>ick,

>and dollars.

Van, the only way I canguarantee you this

stock ave your check certified gi*K9a look) This stoc- sold,

omeone is going to get Irf

cash ions come first. I just mention this

f R. o/ desk- of dfsk. VAN /MW

7 on/ /ii> r/irrfc /or $7,000. finishes) I

a protection. (Rises) I bank I

hotel, it v inutr. (Crosses to right)

Bob, you're a witness to this transaction. (Exits *.)I have been trying to hook him for

five yenBOB. I don't r t you do to him. I think

it would be much better to represent the stock as it

! let the customer choose for himself.

RALSTON. (Coming around, and sits R. of desk)I didn't misrepresent it. did

BOB. (Crosses to <. you did. You told

me to keep off. You told Van Dusen that Garkhad bought.

RALSTON. Well, he will l>uy. Do you want to

bet he won't ?

BOB. No.STON. I sold Marshall and Hadley without

mentioning Clark.

BOB. But v em it was a great mine.RALSTON. Well, I hope hundred

and dollars tied up in it. I've pot to thir

great. If I can sell a hundred .v

dollars' worth of stock I can spend fifty thor

dollars, and maybe I'll strike it. If I do, t:

BOB. I know, but as it stands now, the mine is

110

jS NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH

RALSTON. If you want to know the truth, it's

no pood at all. The stock isn't worth the paper it's

printed on. (c., rising and coming c.) But there's

quick-silver in New Mexico somewhei ome-s liable to find it. I've told many a lie I've

had come true. A lie is just as pood as the truth

if the result is all right. Profit is the only thint*

in business and in our bus ul profit is ii

nation, and imagination is seldom the truth. It's

what you hope for. The world doesn't believe the

truth. It didn't believe there was an America for

Columbus to discover. It didn't believe that Alex-

ander Bell had a telephone any more than they

thought Cyrus Field could lay the Atlantic cable,

and those fellows were telling the truth all the time

and were considered crazy. I tell you, there are

certain necessary business lies.

BOB. I don't believe it.

RALSTON. You don't believe it?

BOB. No.RALSTON. Do you like Van Dusen?BOB. I hate him.

RALSTON. Two minutes ago you shook him bythe hand and told him you were glad to see him,didn't you?

BOB. Yes.

RALSTON. You didn't mean it, did you?BOB. No.RALSTON. Then that was a lie.

BOB. Well, if you call a thine: like that a lie, cer-

tainly. He's a customer. That's business.

RALSTON. That's exactly what I mean. Thereare certain necessary business lies.

BOB. Well, I don't agree with you, E. M. I

think a business man can get along just as well

by telling the absolute truth. (Sits R. of desk)RALSTON. You mean about everything?

NOTHING BUT THE TRU i *>

BOB. Yet.

RALSTON. All the time?BOB. YRALSTON. Ha, ha. My boy, there's nothing

mattr >u, except you're crazy. (Enters VANright with check he has had certified. Stands down

H seated in chair B. of desk) You couldn't

tell the truth for one day.VAN. (*.) Has he been tying again? f BOB b*s.)

KAXSTON. (Crosses behind desk) No, I've been

telling Bob that he couldn't tell thr truth, the abso-

ruth, for one day and retain any friends or

do any business.

Vw. (Crossing to center. RALSTON seated back

ofnole) Isuppose

if a man set out to tell the

truth for a whole day that before night someonewould kill him.

BOB. Yes, I think I could tell the truth indefi-

DICK. (Seated on L. edge of desk) Do youmean to say you could truthfully answer every ques-tion put :io matter what it was?

BOB. I certainly do.

Yfc (c.) When I was nine years old, I told

my mother the truth about something that hap-

pened at school. What happened at home curedme.

RALSTON. Why, my boy. as modern society is

constituted it is as impossible to live without

as it is to do business without deception. (On the

word deception. VAN hands RALSTON his certifiedcheck. K takes the certificate which

'

has made out and placed on the right-hand side ofdesk so RALSTON can get it easily, hands it to VAN.This piece of business must be done on the word"decepti

\ Ic's right, (c., puts certificate in pocket)


RALSTON. It's too bad we have to admit it, but

DICK. I agree with you.RALSTON. We're brought up that way. Parents

toll their children that Santa Clans comes down the

chimney in a steam-heated flat. Little Mary is

told that the stork is going to bring her a

brother. She sits for hours at the window watch-

ing for it to come, and then they tell her it cnmein the door while she was asleep. You meet Smithon the street in the morning. You say, "I hopeyou slept well?" That's a lie. You don't care a

damn if he never sleeps.BOB. That may be ... but it's not the best way

or the right

RALSTON. Ah! I didn't say it was the best

or the right way, but I did say you can't get alone:

if you persist in telling the truth to everyone.DICK. (Sits on desk L.j The truth hurts peo-

ple, an attractive lie sounds infinitely better than a

mere statement of truth.

RALSTON. Yes. The lawyer tells his client hewill win. The doctor tells his patient he'!

1

well.

The minister tells his conerreeation theyheaven. It isn't the truth, but it's what

they want to hear.

RALSTON. And every divorce gives the lie to

"Wilt thou love, honor and cherish her, forsakingall others, keep thee only unto her as long as yeboth shall live."

I will.

That's what they all say, I will. But

you'd break up the whole party if you told the

truth and said I think I will. (Sits)DICK. They lie in every line of business. De-

partment stores misrepresent their bargain sales,


newspapers their circulation. banks their surplus,because business demands an attactive staterr.

RALSTON. (In chair VAN c. standing) It took>r. Cook just one hour to convince the King

of I )cnmark that he had discovered the North Pole.

: required two years for ant Peary to

ncc the Geographical Society of the same fact,

and he was telling the truth. (R. c ) And when

Good-bye, good lucV Vss you1*

you think he was telling th-

Bo: titled to my opinion. I still

think you can tell the truth.

AK. Who, n.

oSf No, I know you couldn't tell the truth. T

mean that I can tell the truth. (VAN goes up stageand then drops around extreme Rj

DICK. For how long?BOB. If I can tell the truth for one hour, I see

no reason why I couldn't tell it for one day or one

year. (VAN to R. of BOB)RALSTON. You don't really believe that, do you?BOB. I do.

RALSTON. Did you ever try it ?

BOB. No.RALSTON. Well, I'd be willing to bet you

thing you like that you couldn't tell the absolute

for twenty-four hcv

BOB. (R., crosses c.) I would bet you on

RALSTON, (c.. rising, coming center) Well. I'll

tell you how I feel about it. Ill bet you five thou-

sand dollars, ten thousand, fifteen thousand as far

as you want to go.BOB. (Hand on pocket) You mean, you'll bet

me money, real money, that I can't tell the truth for

twenty-four hor.

STON. Yes.

u will? (Smiling)


RALSTON. (Turns L. to DICK. VAN R. stage)1 said. (Turns to DICK who is in front

of table down L. end. Bob takes the ttn thousand

dollars out of his pocket after a few moments'

pause, then he starts towards RALSTON, who has his

back to him. Then he takes a few steps; hesi-

tates, undecided, then turns and walks to L. c.. think-

ing it over again to be sure that he's right. Heturns again, and as he does, his eye falls on the

picture of Washington which is hung up c. betoveen

the two windows. He slowly walks up stage, with

his back to the audience, and looks at Washingtonirith the idea that "He did it, I can." Turns, comesdown stage to c. RALSTON still has his back to himin conversation with DICK. VAN is over extreme R.

reading over the stock certificate that RALSTON hassold him. No one must look at BOB or audience

during this piece of business)BOB. (Comes down R. c.) Say, E. M., if you

arc really serious about that proposition, I'll makeyou a little bet that I can tell the truth for twenty-four hours.

RALSTON. You will?

BOB. Yes.

RALSTON. How much will you bet?BOB. Ill bet you (Coughs, then whispers)

Ten thousand dollars.

RALSTON. How much?BOB. Ill bet you ten (Coughs) ten thousand

dollars.

RALSTON. Do you mean that?BOB. Yes.

DICK. Stop it stop it. (Walks down L. twosteps)

Vfik HC'S bluffing.RALSTON. Where's your ten thousand dollars?BOB. I've got it.

NOTHING BUI TRUTH 33

(Crossing to Bob. right of him) Where?I :l 111 get it OUt fRALSTON

goes next to BOB at r. DICK i~ of RALSTON j

RALSTON. I see it I s*

DICK. Ten thousand dollars.

VAJJ, It'sr.

KALSTON. (L. c.) Just a moment, now, just amoment. Let me get ipht so there'll be no

ou say you'll bet ten thousand dollars

-in will tell the absolute truth for twenty- four

hours?BOB. TC. Whispers) Yes.

Von will tell the truth to everyone, nomatter what they ask you ?

BOB. Yes.RALSTON. (L. c. After a long pause) All right.

If you want to make that kind of a bet, 111

it. I'll l>et you ten thousand dollars you can't tell

the absolute truth for twenty-four hours.

DICK (i..) And 111 bet you five thousand dol-

lars more.BOB. No I just want to bet ten thousand dol-

lars.

VAN. Wait I've got to have some of this.

(VfFtrosses from R. to above table L. DICK goesto left of table. RALSTON BOB c.)

DICK. (Turns to desk) I'm not going to be left

out.

RALSTON. This is my bet, I want it all.

V^k I was here.

IWRSroN. I saw him first, (c.) (Pats BOB onback. BOB smiles)

DICK, (i ) I want half of it.

VAJ^ (Back of desk) Where do I come in?

TCALSTON. (L. c. To DICK; Well, you can havei^.ind. (To VANJ You can have a thousand.

I'll take eight thousand.


VAH. I want five thousand.

KALSTON. Do you want me to give up a cinch

bet? (To BOB) Would you give up part of ,1 bet

you were sure of winning? (Bon tries to speak but

can't) Neither will I. (Bos walking toward chair

R. c.) You're not going, are you?BOB. No, I only want to rest. (Sits in chair

R.C.;DICK. You've got to divide it between us.

j|r I want a third of this.

KALSTON. Well, all right, are you willing to let

us split it three wayBOB. I don't care how you split it, so long as I

get the ten thousand dollars.

V^. So long, ten thousand, is right.

KALSTON. (Crosses L. to desk) You'll get the

ten thousand all right.

DICK. (.Lj If you tell a lie when you're awayfrom me, you must confess.

^yja (c. of desk) Don't worry, he won't get

vet^tar away from me. I'm going to sleep withhim.

BOB. (Rises, comes c.) Well, if you gen-tlemen want to bet, stop talking put up yourmoney.

RALSTON. (R. of desk) We will. Dick, makeout your check for thirty-three hundred. Make onefor me for thirty-four hundred. Van, you take

thirty-three hundred.

Jjj|Mj Right. This is the first crooked thing I've

cve^one. Let's get down to terms. (Starts to

write in memo book) You agree to tell the unadul-terated truth for twenty-four hours?

BOB. Yes.

JkLjtf (Waiting) You will answer all questionstrutnfully; if you refuse, you lose the bet.

BOB. Yes.

TRUTH 33

He won't live t \\rMtv four hours.

DICK. And you can't run away and hide or shot

yourself up where you won't see anyone.BOB '.

ALL. WHAT?BOB. NRALSTON. Well be with him until he loses.

VAN. You must go on in the even tenor of your

RALSTON. Put down "even tenor" of his way,and write "tenor" with a capital T.

BOB. (L. to c.) Yes, and put down this condi-

tion.

RAI.STOV. What? N it

BOB. If anyone tells of the bet. or hints of it,

that side loses the bet One lose all lose, on your

K. (Rising ) V < idea of that ?

BOB. If you told people about it. thev'd ask meof questions, which they wouldn't ordi-

nari'

K. Well, I don't know that

V^j^ I guess we can put that in.

KALSTON. Put it in. Let him put his picture in.

thr word "picture" BOB turns and takfs three

steps up c.. looking at Washington's pict:

VAN. (Writing) That comes under the "eventenor**clau;e.

RALSTON. Hell know more about that to-mor-

row. (Crosses to BOB> You don't want to raise it,

BOB. Bet more? No, that's all I want to bet

to-<1

ves?BOB. I just want to bet the ten thousand dollars.

fRALSTON starts for chair R. of desk)


c's your money? Remember, I want cash to

cover this transaction. (All start)

RALSTON and DICK. CaHe talks exactly as if he was going to

RALSTON. (Sits in chair R. of desk, signs his owncheck, gets DICK'S signed check, then hands themto VAN,) Van, you take these into your bank andhave them cashed and get your money at the sametime.

Right. (Crosses stage to right, does not

he gets to door) Don't ask him anyions until I get back. I want to see all of

this. (Exit R.) wo*BOB. I hate him worse than ever now.RALSTON. Where did you get ten thousand dol-

lars to throw away in this manner? (Boe in a con-

fused manner walks to chair R. c., and with diffi-

culty gets his foot on the rung of the chair, tries

to assume a careless attitude)BOB. I'm not going to throw it away. I'm going

to win this bet or die in the attempt.RALSTON. That's the way to feel about it.

BOB. That's the way I feel about it. Absolutelyconfident. I'll win, and the chances are that I will

never tell another lie as long as I live.

RALSTON. Ha! Ha! Ha!BOB. Ha! Ha! Ha!DICK. I suppose it's all right, if you can afford

to lose ten thousand dollars. It's a lot of money.If it were someone else's coin, you might take achance. (BoB looks worried on the last line "some-one else's coin")

RALSTON. Say, you'll talk us out of a good bet if

you're not careful. If he thinks he can do it, andcan afford it, it's all right. He might win. It's

never been done, but he might.

NOTHING BUT THK TRfi 37

DICK. Who is poinjr to be stakehol

BOB. I know wholl want to be stal

(Cow. Van Dusen, but he won't \Vc wfll

put t! envelope and put it in the hotel safe.

DICK. All right, Bob.

RALSTON. That's satisfactory.

VAJ^ (Enters from R. with $10.000 in hand)Her?s the Do-ra-me. Ill be stakeholder.

BOB. No, we had a little talk about it while youWe decided to put it in an envelope and

place it in the hotel safe. We can trust the safe

tw opened when the four of us

are there. Is that satisfactory? (Takes moneyfrom VAN. does up back of desk)DICK and RALSTON. Yes.

All lie likes to handle it.

:-e. let me count it fRos handshim money he got from VAN) Your money, I

mean.BOB. Yes, and 111 count this. (Hands money

from pocket)RALSTON. (Counting money) There's only nine

thousand here.

RALSTON. (Bon starts to search in his pockets>unts the money anain. and

then says) > .!! ripht. there's ten. (Bos air-

most faints. Takes out his handkerchief, wipes his

urists)BOB. What's the tr. M., can't you count ?

Ten there mRALSTON. Yes.

BOB. Well see. (Counts money) Eleven.

(Business RALSTON drums on desk) Don't drum,don't drum. (Picks up large envelope fromdesk. He is so nervous from fright th<i

'

the money Then finally turnsto E. M., who is seated right of desk, and says)

3S NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH

Hold that open, will you? (Puts money in envelope

or . M. holds it open for him. As he lifts the

twvthpe to seal it, DICK reaches out) \Yhnt arc

you grabbing at? What do you want? I'll seal it.

"

seal it. (He licks the envelope and seals it.

t a face as he wipes mucilage with back of his

^^ from his mouth. Puts the envelope on the

desk and sits in chair back of desk) There you are.

Here'* your money.RALSTON, (t, of desk) Now, we all understand

the conditions.

Ay. Yes.

WC Yes.

RALSTON. (R. of desk) The absolute truth for

twenty- four hours.

ALL. Yes.

TCB._ Yes.

RALSTON. It's three minutes of four. (Everyan pulls out his watch)DICK. (L. of D.) It's five minutes of four.

BOB. I'm two minutes of four.

(*.) The right time is five minutes after

(Picking up receiver) Give me Central,

please, (RALSTON casually reaches over desk to

pick up document. BOB thinks he is reaching forthe money in the envelope, so he picks it up and

puts it closer to him, showing that he does nottrust RALSTON,) Will you give me the correct time ?

Thank you. We're all wrong. It's four o'clock.

RALSTON. Well, set your watches, boys. (Pause)All act?

ALL. Ye.fHBSRBr exactly four o'clock. The bet is

on. Go. (On the word "go" RALSTON slaps hiskmnd on desk. BOB in his confusion knocks over&* telephone, picks it up, adjusts it, gives RALSTON

N(> ; BUT THF TRi; 39

a hard look, gets up from chair, wipes his face,walks up stage, and goes to open revolving window.As he does so the shade flies up trick shade, set

diagram. Gives BOB a scare. Walks down stage,

speaks, and picks up a duplicate empty envelopesimilar to the one that he has placed the monThinks the money is gone, hastily looks through en-

velope over desk and then discovers the real en-

velope :t*ith money in it. Sits in suwel chair back

of desk. As he does so he loses his balance, chair

gies back with him, his feet strike under the deskand he just saves himself from falling. W'hen hehas come back, sits unfit his head leaning on his

hat:

BOB. As I understand it the bet started to-dayat four o'clock, terminates to-morrow at four. This

money (Business wrong envelope or or-

J^AJL Say, Bob, if you do tell a lie, tell a goodoncrT?causc it's going to cost you ten thousanddoll

RALSTON. (To BOB) When the car comes backfor me I'm going to take you out home to stayall night.

BOB. All nipht if it's perfectly agreeable I

mean I can't I don't want to go.RALSTON. You've got to go. The even tenor of

your w;> refused before.

Du 0t to go. AnI if you talk in

your sleep, I'll listen to every word.

3L^ 111 be there.

BOB. Very well, 111 go, if you insist upon it.

RALSTON. I do.

DICK. Now, what will I ask him?RALSTON. One moment, please, it's my turn.

(Pause, thinking) Do you think you're good look-

ing?


BOB. (Quickly) Yes. (Huntor this (is it is a

growing laugh) (Ready phone)WN. You lose.

No, I don't lose. That's not a lie, it's an

opinion. Now, if I said (Designating RALSTON,)You were good looking that would be a ter-

rible-RALSTON. (Quickly) Well, we'll let it pass.

(Warn)DICK. Now, it's my turn. The other day you

told me that last year you made forty thousand

dollars, is that the truth?

BOB. No.DICK. Well, how much did you make?BOB. Well, I think that's a personal question,

Dick.

DICK. Never mind about it being personal. Howmuch did you make?

BOB. Twenty-two hundred dollars.

RALSTON. I've got one. Where did you get this

ten thousand dollars?

VAN^ Ah!Wlr (Pause) I got it.

RALSTON. I asked you where you got it.

BOB. (Pause) I don't think I have to answet"

DICK. You most certainly do have to answer it.

V^^ If you refuse to answer you lose the bet.

(Eonfflause)RALSTON. Where did you get that ten thousand

dollars?

BOB. (Long pause. BOB is cornered, he is justabout to give up, when telephone bell rings. Hegrabs the phone) Hello. Who? Mr. Clark? J.P. Clark? Sulphur Bank Quick-silver ? It's

worthless, no good. Good-bye. (Hangs up re-

ceiver)

NOTHING BUT Till. TRi: i

DICK What did you tell that to Clark for?

RALSTON. I an:' How dare you tell bin

(Ad lib) I've been swindled. Give mecheck.

RALSTON. The bet is off. Why did you saythat?

Curtain

(NOTE The curtain must be run just as BOB,with w< :". hand, raises it up in the atti-

of taking the oath. Be sure that the

audience hear the finish of the line)

CALLS:-Four Men.

2nd Four Men.

3rd Bob Bennett.

ACT II

SCENE: Parlor in summer how* of E. M. RAL-

STON, Long Island.

SCENE: Door R. I with interior backing; French

door up Right Center with porch and awningoutside, landscape drop beyond; Grandfat!:

clock between French door and st<: this

clock must be worked from behind by prop*

man); Platform, one step high, at foot of

staintvy which runs up to door at top of fiat L.

with balustrade; Door L. 3 with interior back-

ing; Mantle and fireplace 2. Table R. with

choirs. Baby grand piano L. with settee in

front of same. Telephone on piano. Furnish-

ings and general scheme to be character:

of a parlor in a wealthy country home.

DISCOVERED: MRS. RALSTON seated L. of table R.

BOB seated on settee L.

DICKsiitin^

on table R. up.ETHEL at piano, L. u.

Curtain rises after the first bar ofEthel's song, "Just a little L<

Clock sets at 12.42. Music at rise.

CLOCK.

MRS. RALSTON. Exquisite, my dear, beautiful!

DICK. I think it's simply immense!ETHEL. (Rising and coming c.) Do you really

think so?MRS. RALSTON. I most assuredly do, my dear,

your voice has improved wonderfully.

42

N( i BUT THK TRt'TH 43

h. I studied and K

spent oh, I don't know how much with my teach-

ers.

MRS. RALSTON. It just proves whit study will

do. It shows what can be done.

DICK. She plays so well. too. It's fortunate youcan accompany yourself.

IEL. Oh, I sing much better if I have an

accompaDICK. Really ?

ETHEL. Oh, yes.DICK. I think you've got a remarkable voice.

Don't you, Bob?BOB. What? (As if Bo* hod bee* thinking of

something else, but it must be obvious to the au-

dience that he heard the entire conversation)I say, don't you think Miss Clark has a

beautiful voice?

BOB. I'm not much of a judge.MRS. RALSTON. Indeed you are. (Turning to

ETHEL, who is still c.) He's a very good judge ofmnDICK. Now tell us truthfully what you think of

- Clark's voice.

BOB. (After a moment's hesitation) I think the

same as you think.

DICK (Crosses to BOB) Never mind what I

think You tdl us truthfully what you think of

her voice.

BOB. I think it's terrible. (Ad lib ETHEL cry-I'M/;

MRS. RALSTON. (Crosses to L. of ETHEL. ETHELcrosses c This is a big situation and must be held

for the laugh by DICK Rj Robert! Don't cry,Ethel, please don't cry. (Rises and quickly goes to

ETHKL. trying to console ETHEL. ETHEL is crying)ETHEL. (Crying) Oh, dear.


DICK. fa. cj Ethel you don't understand

you didn't allow Bob to finish what he intended to

say. He thinks it is terrible that you should waste

your voice on that song. That's what he meant to

MRS. RALSTON, (e.) Of course, we realize

Robert didn't refer to Ethel's voice. Did you?(Business BOB nods yes) You complimented her

voice the last time you heard her sing, Robert.

(Turning to ROBERT, who is sitting L.) Robert's

statement sounded strange and you jumped to con-

clusions too quickly.ETHEL, (c.) I hope so.

DICK. Won't you play and sing something else

for us ?

ETHEL. (Who has got control of herself but still

must gvue the impression that she is about to cry

any second. Nervous, embarassed and just a trifle

hysterical) No, I don't think I had better. I don't

feel very well to-day and I have to stop at the

Rectory for mother.

MRS. RALSTON. My dear Ethel, please do not cut

your visit short on account of the misunderstand-

ing.DICK. You are sorry if you said anything that

hurt Miss Clark, aren't you, Bob?BOB. Miss Clark, you cannot dream, you cannot

realize, how sorry I am if I have offended you.Please forgive me.

MRS. RALSTON. (L. of c.) There, isn't that nice.

(To Ethel) We never can tell how things are goingto sound, but we should weigh everything carefullybefore we speak. (This latter part of speech read

directly at BOB)BOB. I do. (Goes up L. of settee)DICK, (c.) Now we will all forget that any-

thing has happened.

NOTHING BUT Till- TKU

ETHEL, (c.) Oh, I'm so quick to take

to myself.MRS. RALSTON - all do that, dear.

Now everything is all right, isn't it ?

i EL. (c.) Yes.

Mts. RALSTON, (c.) And you don't really have

to go?ETHEL, (c.) Oh, maybe I can stay.DICK. (Crosses up around table to Rj Of

course.

MRS. RALSTON. (L. c.) Robert- lark

has not seen our garden this summer. Will youshow her about ?

BOB. (L.) Certainly, I'd be delighted.MRS. RALSTON. (Crosses to Rj Put on your

hat, Ethel, the sun is very hot. (ETHEL starts foriano which is up L. stage, to get her hat. This

>iust be of a peculiar shape, an extreme style,

freakish) What apretty dress, dear turn around.

EL comes back and makes one turn for MRS.R. F.TIIEL is now c.) Oh, it's a pretty dress

isn't it, Dick?DICK. (R.; It's stunning.MRS. RALSTON. (L. of table) Don't you think

so, Robert ?

BOB. (Coming down L.) Yes, I am very gladdress.

MRS. RALSTON. And men are beginning to know,it seems. A sweet, pretty dress, dear.

I like the dress, but I can't make

up my mind about this hat. (Goes up to piano and

gets hat off piano. Comes back c., puts hat on)MRS. RALSTON. Why not, dear. It's adorable,

k?DICK. It's a beauty, ask Bob.ETHEL. Very well, just a minute now, then,

how do you like it ? Well-


BOB. Turn around so I can see the front.

ETHEL. This is the front. How do you like it ?

DICK. I'll make him tell. Tell her the truth:

how do you like her hat?

BOB. I think it's awful. (DiCK goes up R. laugh-

ing)MBS. RALSTON. Robert Bennett, have you gone

crazy?ETHEL. (Crying) Oh, dear.

MRS. RALSTON. (Trying to console her) Mychild, Ethel !

ETHEL. (Starting to go upstairs with MRS. R.

consoling her) Let me go home. I want to get

away from here.

MRS. RALSTON. My child, hush dear don't

cry any come with me. (Ad. lib.)

ETHEL. I'm sorry I came. (Exit with MRS. RAL-STON upstairs L.)

BOB. (Crosses to c.t meets DICK,) I've got a

good mind to kill you.DICK. (R. c.) Is that so. Now, listen, I'll make

you tell a lie if it's the last thing I do.

BOB. It will be the last thing you do. (Crosses

LjDICK. (Follows BOB up) You'll be thrown out

of the house for insulting Miss Clark. Her motheris the leader of the summer colony here.

BOB. I don't think it's a fair way to win the bet.

GWEN. (Enters from stairway L. u. E.) Please,I want to sgeak to Bob alone a moment.

DICK. (Crossing from R. c. up to c. door) Cer-

tainly! Remember Bob remember! (Dick

txits)GWEN. (To R. c.) Mother says you insulted

Ethel. I can't believe it, did you?BOB. (L. c.) Twice.GWEN. But why?

NOTHING BUT THE TRU 47

BOB. I had to.

GWEN. Had to?BOB. Yes, I had to tell the truth

KN. But there's no reason for hurtingpeo-plc's feelings, whether it is the truth of not. Thereare such things as white lies.

BOB. I know, but they are not in the conditions,

GWEN. Conditions ? What do you mean by coo-ns?

BOB. I mean there is no such thing as conditionaltruths. The truth is the truth. (Crosses to B-,

makes face)GWEN. (c., coming to BOB'S Rj But there are

some truths that we cannot tell without pettingourselves into a lot of trouble, didn't you know

BOB. I know it now.GWEN. B( >u go in to business

to-day?BOB. Your father asked me to stay down

here.

GWEN. And Dick?BOB. He wanted Dick to remain also.

GWEN. Is it a holi

BOB. (R,; Not for me.GWEN. Then why are you heBOB. Because your father thought it would be

safer.

GWEN. Safer? There's something strange about

you.BOB. I know it, I knov.

GWEN. I've never noticed it before.

BOB. You see, it's been a terrible day for me.And a horrible night, too. I didn't sleep a wink all

night.

GWEN. Weren't you tired?

BOB. Yes, I was very tired. But your father


and Dick and Van Duscn kept me awake all night

asking me questions.GWEN. (c.) About business?

BOB. (K.) About everything.GWEN. Is there anything wrong with the firm?

BOB, There's a lot of things wrong with two of

this firm. I'm all right, though.GWEN. Are you worried about busine

BOB. No, it's not exactly business.

GWEN. I didn't intend to ask you about my ten

thousand dollars, but

BOB. Then don't, please don't.

GWEN. But I think you should be in the city

watching it. When did you see it last? (EntersDICK from R. arch, walks over to table R. c. Gets

newspaper)DICK. Pardon me. (DiCK gives BOB a smile as

if to indicate that he is watching every momentand exits through arch c.)GWEN. When did you see my money last?

(Crosses to c.)BOB. (To her) Yesterday.GWEN. Where was that?

BOB. (Looking around to see that DICK is not

in sight) In the office.

GWEN. What did you do with it ?

BOB. I put it in an envelope.GWEN. What did you do with the envelope?BOB. (Go through business as if licking envelope)

I sealed it up.GWEN. Then you didn't invest it?

BOB. Yes, yes, I invested it.

GWEN. Have you won ?

BOB. No.GWEN. You haven't lost, have you?BOB. Not yet.GWEN. Not yet? Bob, what do you mean?

NC ; BUT TUK TRUTH 49

BOB. No, no, I haven't lot* it, Gwen. I haven't

GWEN. Oh, how you frightened me. (EnterDICK from R. arch with

jbafdown on

tobU again, starts to go off. BOB notching him)BOB. Anything I can do for you?DICK. No.BOB. There's something I'd like to do to you.

fDICK exits, smiling, throughB. arch )

GWEN. You're not sure that you will win as you

BOB. (Crossing from L. to L. cj Yes I am1 11 win I'll win for your sake. (Crosses to t

Gwz.x. Can you imagine what a dreadful thinsit would be if we lost ten thousand dollars?

BOB. Certainly. But don't you worry, Gwen,youll know all about it at four o'clock.

GWEK. (R. by table) But I thought the marketdoted at three,

BOB. This one is going to stay open until four.

(Goes up stage)GWEN. Bob, as soon as we get the money

t right back to you and let you double it again.BOB. No, you won't. (Cots L. in front of settee)GWBN. Do you mean that this was an excep-

tional opportunBOB. Very; in fact, I don't think it will ever

happen again. It won't in r ! know.GWEN. We must be grateful that this oppor-

tunity has come to us at all.

BOB. Yes.

Bob, please try and not tell people thingseh will hurt their feelings.

BOB. Gwen, after to-day, I'll never tell the truth

to anyone.GWEN. Yes I want you always to tell the truth

to me about everything.


BOB. (Hesitatingly) Well, you might not like

to hear it.

GWBN. Yes, I would. Bob, I insist that you tell

me the truth about myself.BOB. (c. Lj Well, if you insist (Pause)

Gwen, I think you are the loveliest, the sweetest

and die most wonderful girl in the world, and I

love you more than anything else, and I want youto be my wife.

GWEN. Oh! (Goes into his arms, kiss)BOB. (As he takes GWEN in his arms, after a

'moment he looks around at the clock, still holdingGWEN in his arms) Oh, if we could only stay like

this till four o'clock.

GWEN. Bob, did you ever love anyone else?

(BOB drops his arms from around GWEN in agonyand takes a step away from her down left) Did

you?BOB. (Pause) Yes.

GWEN. Whom? (Steps back a step or two to

c.;BOB. Maude Adams.GWE*N. Everybody loves Maude Adams, but you

know what I mean. Did you ever love anyone else?

You must tell me the truth. Did you ever love

anyone else?

BOB. Yes.

GWEN. But you told me you never had.

BOB. I know I did.

GWEN. Who was she?BOB. A lady in a circus.

GWEN. In a circus? What did she do in a cir-

cus?BOB. She was a cannon ball tosser.

GWEN. Where is she now?BOB. I don't know.GWEN. What became of her?


BOB. She married the lion tamer.

GWEN. (Pause) Well. I'm glad you confessedto me. I'm glad you told me the truth.

BOB. So am I

GWBN. We won't refer to this again. Let's for-

get and forg:

BOB. Gwen, let's don't talk much.GWBN. (Cots to BOB, they kiss. BOB looks back

at the clock again) But, Bob {BOB drops his arms

again with an agony on his faff for fear of thf

question) You never kissed anyone else, did you?(Pause) Did you?

BOB. Yes.

GWEN. Whom?BOB. The cannon ball tosser.

GWEN. Why didn't you tell me this before?BOB. I didn't have to.

GWEN. Didn't have to?BOB. Now, listen. Gwen, you said you wouldn't

refer to this again, why don't you forget and for-

give. (Clock hands at 3 to i)GWEN. I will, but you can't blame me for being

a little a \\n\c (Going to Bob)&ob\ Will youalways be true to me?

BOB. I think I will. (Clock hands at 2 to i)GWBN. You think you will?

BOB. No.GWEN. Bob!BOB. Yes.

GWEN. What do you mean?BOB. Gwen, I'm so rattled, I don't know what I

(NOTE From the line "I think I wilT the lines

to this point mean nothing, as the audience an*

laughing. However, the action must carry wordsover. MRS. RALSTON does not enter until the laughis dying out. She comes on from stairway L. uj


MRS. RALSTON. I left Ethel on my bed cryingher eyes out. A rude guest bespeaks a rude host.

I am not at all certain that she will forgive me.

Your conduct is unpardonable. It demands a full

explanation. Her folks are the richest people in

;immer colony, and you insult the daughter in

my house.

BOB. Honestly, Mrs. Ralston, what do you think

of Ethel's voice?

MRS. RALSTON. I think it's terrible myself. But

you can't tell people such things.BOB. I'm sorry, but I had to tell the truth.

MRS. RALSTON. I should think you did have to.

And what you said to the cook about the fish

now, she's gone. (Clock at one and a half)

(Crosses down R. which will feed the laugh here,then returns c.) One would think someone was

standing over you with a whip saying, "Tell the

truth and insult her." Do you imagine people like

to hear the truth about themselves or their hats

or dresses, unless it happens to be pleasant?BOB. I thought I could do it.

MRS. RALSTON. You can't do it in my house,

young gentleman. That is certain. It will take

many a lie to undo the wrong you have done bytelling the truth. I hope you will not think I amrude, when I tell you I wish you had not comehere.

BOB. I didn't want to come here.

MRS. RALSTON. What?BOB. I beg your pardon.MRS. RALSTON. I should think you would.

(Crossing from R. c.)BOB. Please excuse me.MRS. RALSTON. That will be easier for us than

you imagine. Come, Gwen. (GWEN followingmother)

NOTHING BUT THF. TRUTH 53

GWEN. Please be careful, Bob.

BOB. You bet I Count seven the* flock

strikes on*) (Erit MRS. RALSTON and GWEN L. 2)

(BOB uvlks up to foot of stairs with his back to

the clock. It strikes one. which frightens him,

coming untx< Drops down to bench i.

down looking at dock) A second slow. (Rises,

slowly walks towards the R. 2 arch. As he is nearthe arch the mai<! leaving her u. c. and BOB

MAID. (Enters c. arch) Mr. Van Dusen.BOB. Martha.MARTHA. Yes, sir. (Enter DICK R. 2, quietly

comes behind BOB, who has back to him)BOB. Is there a safe place in the house whe*$

one can hide?MARTHA. Hide, sir?

BOB. Yes for instance, if I didn't care to see

Mr. Van Dusen.DICK. Do you want to hide?BOB. (Turns and sees DICK for the first time)

Yes, hut I'm not going to.

MARTHA. Shall I show Mr. Van Dusen in?

(Maid crits c. BOB slowly starts to walk downDICK following him closely, as they get about

L. c. BOB turns, very much annoyed)BOB. You're making me awfully nervous.

DICK. You have just three hours more.BOB. I knovDICK. Will you give in?

BOB. No.DICK. (Crossing to R.; Do you expect me to

lose my share of ten thousand dollars? (EnterVAN DUSEN c. with automobile coat on)

BOB. I'd love to.

DICK. (To VAN; Did you see E. M.? (BoBsits on scttff L.)


VA^ (c.) No one can see him. He is rushingarouncuike a wild man. Hadcelled their orders. I'm the only one he swindled

because I was fool enough to give him a certified

check. E. M. has got to return my money, or find

me a customer for my 2,000 Has he told

the absolute truth all day?DICK. (R., coming to R. c.) Has he told the

truth? We were out in the car with Gwcn this

morning. I was driving. We were pinched a mile

below here and I had just talked the motor cycle

cop out of it when he turned to Bob and asked

him how fast we were going, and he said "Forty-five miles." (Bos gives DICK the laugh. DICKcrosses back to right)

V^L He must need the money. While I was

wafting about the hotel for E. M. I met your two

lady friends. (Crosses to table R., sits L. of it)

DICK. Not Mabel and Sabel. (VAN grunts. R.

of table) They weren't looking for me, were they ?

VAX. (Sits) They were. They said you had

preRsed to meet them and give them a dip.DICK. Great Scott! I forgot all about them.VAN. I sfjiinrcf] it for you. I told them that

youwere down here at your country home.DICK. At my country home?

Bad business, having girls of that calibre

around the office, Dick.

ICK. They wouldn't have stayed a minute if

E. M. hadn't insisted upon lighting Mabel's dette for her. (MRS. RALSTON enters on the

"draped around the office." Comes on front L.

Goes back of bench, starts to go upstairs; she

reaches the first small landing when she overhearsthe word "E. Mr and then listens to the rest ofthe speech. Comes down, puts her work-basket onthe piano and drops c. The moment she speaks,

NOTHING BUT THK TRU 55

the men realise that she HAT overheard them VANslowly rises out of his chair. DICK stands f

fitd. BOII. :</!<> is seattd on the settee, edges over

very quietly and rises to moke a sneak-away,as he realises hi must tell the truth if called

*P*)MRS. RALSTON, (c.) Mabd dcuctte? Did I

understand you to say my husband lit a dpfor some woman in hi* office? (Eon had gotten up

is time and is tiptoeing up stage L. for the

arch)VAN. We weren't ulkingabout your husband.

Mis. RALSTON. I heard Dick say E. M.

VAJ You must be mistaken. He was speakingofaman named Emond. Emon<I.

MRS. RALSTON. Dick, didn't you say K M .?

DICK. No, Emond. (By this time. BOB had justreached the curtain on the arch and is about to

get out)I. RALSTON. Robert ! (Robert staggers back

into the room) Was Dick speaking of my hus-

band?BOB. Yes. (Exits L. 2. On the line "was Dick

speaking of my husband" MRS. RALSTON has her

back to VAN and DICK, and they are frantically

waving to BOD to say "no" and get out. when BOB

says "yes" he exits with one hand to his foreheadand the other holding the back of his head)

I. RALSTON*. (Goes R., turningto DICK and

VAN) Now, what have you to say?VAN.

tcflrr

VAN. Emond's my story and I'm going to stick

MRS. R ALSTON. A pretty state of affairs, Dick!

Who is Mabel?DICK. MabMab Mabel?MRS. RALSTON. Yes, Mabel.

DICK. I don't lav


MES. RALSTON. Mr. Van Dusen, who is this

Mabel?VAN, Mabel?

RALSTON. Yes.

Mabel?RALSTON, (c. Very emphatically) Yes.

Mabel is a customer a customer at theVAN.office*

MRS. RALSTON. Indeed! Mabel is a customer

and my husband lights cigarettes for her in the

office. What is her last name?I don't know.

/ RALSTON. Van, it is too late for you to

shield my husband.DICK. Mrs. Ralston, you're mistaken. The en-

tire incident was so trivial, so unexpected-

MRS. RALSTON. Most unexpected, I assure you.

(Turns to speak to ROBERT, finds that he has gone)Do you know the young lady who smokes cigar-ettes?

DICK. I hope not.

MRS. RALSTON. What?DICK. (Quickly) I think not.

MRS. RALSTON. Well, rest assured, I will makeher acquaintance.

MAID. (Up R. c.) Bishop Doran. He wishes to

see Mrs. Ralston.

Let's get out of here. We are just going,

MRS. RALSTON. (Going up stage, then crossingto R.) Just a moment. (To MAID) Tell my daugh-ter Bishop Doran is here.

MAID. Yes, ma'am. (Exits L. 2 c. stairs)MRS. RALSTON. Richard!

DICK. Yes, Mrs. Ralston.

MRS. RALSTON. This way, Mr. Van Dusen.After you, Mrs. Ralston. ('MRS. RALSTON

NOTHING BUT Till- TKt 57

exits R. following DICK) It looks like the third

degree. (Crossing / freme ri^Ji/, a60*f to

exit) (Enter BISHOP cjHOP. How do you do, Mr. Mr.

ILUL Good-bye. (Exits t. c. BISHOP comes c.

tSB&TGWBN </0ttti Jfairr LjGWES. Good afternoon, Bishop.

Good afternoon, my dear. I came overtotaJ : ou about your c! - father's

offer to duplicate any amount we raise has greatly

impressed me. For the next four days I shall de-

vote all of my time to it.

GWEN. Thank hop.BISHOP. Do you think your father won't object ?

GWEN. It was his own proposition.BISHOP. Now, tell me the names of those you

have not approached.GWEN. There's a Mr. Marshall Mr. Carter.

BISHOP. Yes, I know him. (Enter VAN fromgoing to C. arch)GWEN. And-

I bejf your pardon.ROP. Nfr.

(*. j Dusen.

op. Oh. yes, I remember you perfrHave you seen Bob, Mr. Van Dus<

^y^ He was here just before the he went out

Mmfewnere.GWEN. Will you remain until father comes

home, Bishop? I want to find Bob. \Villyouchathere m Dusen? (VAN drops down to

L. of table IL and sits)/. Yes, yes, run along, my dear, if you

wish.

GWEN. (Aside to the BISHOP; Have you askedMr Van Dusen?

BISHOP. No, not yet.


GWEN. Well, there he

BISHOP. Don't worry, I'll get some money fromhim. (GwEN exits c. arch to L.)

VAN. Are you having a pleasant summer on

th<!T?iand, Bishop?BISHOP. Oh, yes. Can I induce you to con-

tribute to our Seaside Home for Children ?

VAN. I haven't any children. Not now later.

HSHOP. What, what ?

Y^N.I'll give you a donation later, Bishop.

BISHOP. Thank you.

^^N. Just now I am pressed for cash. ThemartSf, you know.

BISHOP. Oh, yes, the stock market. I doubt if

I could stand the strain of that life. The risk onemust take. (Crosses to L.)

There's no risk at all.

P. (Crosses to c.) No risk? Not in

speculation ? fVAN. My dear Bishop ( Rises) There is no

sufWway to make money than to buy some stock

which is just about to go up.BISHOP. That sounds plausible. (VAN sees that

the BISHOP is nibbling and remembers the phoneystock that RALSTON has passed on to him in Act I,

tnd conceives the idea that he might sell it to the

BISHOP,)

Buy it when it's low, hold it a day,d double your money.

BISHOP. Double it?

VAN. Or triple it.

BKHDP. (Wiping his face with handkerchief)It's a bit hottish, isn't it ?

J^Aj^ Warmer! Bishop, let's take a walk aroundthe gardens. I've got a great idea, I'll explain this

stock to you more thoroughly. (Takes BISHOP by

N< J BUT THE TRU i 59

arm and leads him out center arch) There are

cert a t go up. Now happens,I have a slock which is very rare.

carrifs them off. Exit c. to a. )

VAN is leading the Bishop off < rs R.

ami BOB L. They must set VAN i HOP)DICK. Wl .an taking the Bishop?BOB. How do I know? Third degree over?

(Maid enters from arch c.)DICK. Yes. Even-thing will be all right if we

can only keep you out 'Maid hands card onsilver salver to DICK) Where are th

MAIB-. (c.) On the veranda, sir.

DICK. Don't let them in. Ill be out in a minute.

Boa. Who is it ?

Mabel and Sabel. What will we do?BOB What will we do? What will you do?

Thev didn't come to see me.DICK. Bob. tell them I'm not here. Say I've

gone to the <

BOB. Tell a lie? (Crosses to R. of table

I will not.

DICK. I won't count this one.

Boi. Yes, you would.

DICK. I'm afraid to meet them. (Enter MAand SABEL from

:\f ABEL. What's the idea of keeping us waiting?(To c. a. of Di<

DICK. (c. between the girls) Hello.

SABEL. I be at yourcountry home. I hope it's all right to call.

MIEL. It's just as proper as for him to break-.vord to us.

DICK. How did you get down here?! I In a t.

MAIIH Nn't this Dick's country home?BOB. No.


HBL. Whose home is it ?

BOB. Mr. Ralston's.

MABEL. For heaven's sake, can't any of you mentell the truth ?

BOB. (Sits R. of table) I can, Mabel. Yes.

MABEL. I wouldn't bet a nickel on it.

BOB. I think I overplayed it a little myself.DICK. Where's your taxi, Mabel?MABEL. Are you trying to get rid of us? (En-

ters MRS. RALSTON from R. 2. Drops down extremeR. She looks at BOB, does not see two girls)

MRS. RALSTON. (R.) Is everyone comfortable?

BOB. No. (Rises and goes uf> R. 2 arch)MRS. RALSTON. (Sees the girls for the first

time) Oh, I didn't know we had company.DICK. The Misses Jackson Mrs. Ralston.

MRS. RALSTON. Charmed.MABEL. (Assuming a dignified attitude) Mrs.

Ralston. We stopped -in to see Mr. Donnelly wewere passing

MRS. RALSTON. I'm so pleased that you did.

(Pause)SABEL. (Very nervously) Don't you think we

had better go, Mabel? (Up to c.)MRS. RALSTON. (To herself) Mabel! (Girls

start to go up c. MABEL c. SABEL L. c. BOB fol-

lows) Please wait. (Girls at c. arch) Robert,is that the Mabel ?

BOB. (Crosses down unth terrible effort) Yes.

DICK. (Trying to relieve the situation and getthe girls away) I'll show the young ladies aroundthe place.

MRS. RALSTON. No, I'll show the youn^ ladies

around. Will you come, Miss Mabel? The gar-den is lovely now. (Goes to the young ladies, be-

tween them, and leads them off c. arch) So, youcame to see Mr. Donnelly? (Exits c. to R.J (As

NOTHING BUT THK TKl 61

ladies exit. VAN passes them in full rinv of the

'.is is important)

WJJL (To L. of them) How n?UICK. It's all your fault. They came down in

a taxi.

Bo get them away from he

DICK. I will. I suppose Van will have to take

them all the way back to the

VAN I will not.

(To cj I've got a better scheme, then.

You stay here. I can <lrivc them back to the city,

and return here by four o'clock.

DICK. No you can't. You'll stay here where I

can watch you. Let Van do it.

J4JL All right, shoot them around to the back

gateT Til send the taxi. (VAN crosses to L. ) (En-ter RALSTON L. c. Auto coat on, h

cited)RALSTON. Oh. what a day. (Watches BOB'S eye

and slowly starts down stage towards him as

might do'him bodily harm. BOB basks away twoor three steps finding himself in front of the settee)Do you know what has happened ? I have lost over

fifty thousand dollars. That man Clark has (old

everyone on the Street that I tried to swindle htm.

If my wife ever hears of that! c twentythousand dollars if you had not said what you did

over the phone. You'll have to square this.

BOB. I had to tell the truth.

RALSTON. (Pause) Is that so? Has he told alie vet?

Y^y^W DICK. (Disgustedly to n.) No.KALSTON. (*. Til

make him. (Removes his ulster, but keeps it in his

hand for business to follow) Tell us what you told

me about Dick in the cafe two days ago.DICK. Yes, and tell me the truth now.

(>2 NOTHING BUT TIIR TRUTH

BOB. (c.) I said if you knew twice as much as

you do now, you'd be half-witted.

DICK. Is that so? Just tell us what youabout Van.

Bon. I said he was a little less, just a little, than

the inside of a doughnut. I said if he'd close one

eye, he'd look like a needle.

VA^, (L.) What do you think of E. M.?BOB/ I think he's a great, big, overgrown, self-

conceited, arrogant, four-flushing wai-

RALSTON. (Throwing down coat by chair R. L.

of table) That's far enough.VAN. What do you think of Mrs. Ralston?

IBI? I thinkMrs. RRALSTON. (Quickly) No, no, I've been married

twenty-five years. I'm satisfied.

BOB. Do you know what I think of Mrs. Ral-

ston?

RALSTON. What?BOB. I think she's one of the finest women I

ever met.

RALSTON. That's different.

BOB. And I can't understand why she ever mar-died you.

RALSTON. (Sudden thought. Picks up coat)I've been wanting to get a line on you for a longtime and this is a good opportunity. (Pause) Did

you ever steal anything?BOB. (Pause) Yes. (All business)DICK. What did you steal?

BOB. I stole some money.RALSTON. Where did you steal it?

BOB. From a bank. (Men all look at each other

at this with amazement)RALSTON. How much money was it?

BOB. Half a dollar.

RALSTON. You stole half a dollar from a bank?


BOB. Yes.

RALSTON. (Quickly to kill the laugh on half a

'dollar, so that the ntxt line will go as the climax)What bank was it ?

BOB. My little brother's bank. (RALSTON takes

one look at him, throws up his hands in digust.

and with his ulster trailing the floor walks up stagec. Comes back again for next question. VAN andDICK must be intensely interested in this thing andon BOB'S last reply, shmv utter disgit

RALSTON. So you stole a half a dollar from yourlittle brother's bank.

BOB. That's all he had in there,

Did you ever get drunk ?

>B. Yes one night.DICK. Were you ever arrested ?

BOB. Yes.VAM When?IS/ The same night. (Men repeat the same

disgusted business, but RALSTON docs not go upstage this time)

Yfrfli (Pause) Did you ever kill anybody?BOB. No but I think I'm going to. (VAN steps

back a few steps up stage L. as BOB looks threaten-

ingly at him. VAN back of settee)RALSTON. Oh. what a terrible thing it must be

to hare to tell the truth. (Starts up stage and con-

fronts MABRL and SABEL who enter I ABELon K. of SABEL. RALSTON falls back aghast, drop-

ping his ulster on chair L. of c. arch) \\"hat does

this mean? My dear ladies. Don't you realize the

improprietyof coming to my house?

MABEL. (R. of RALSTON c. R. c. SABEL c.

RALSTON We came to see Mr. Donne:RALSTON. Mr. Donnelly, eh? (Gives Dii

fierce look. Turns to BOB and VAN only a step)Where's my \vi:


SABEL. We just left her.

RALSTON. What ?

MABEU (c., crossing SABEL to c., which is onlya few steps, and is now facing RALSTON. BOB is

by the settee in front of piano. VAN on the other

side of him down L. DICK over R. in front oftable) Yes, she found out my name was Mabel,but who told her you lit my cigarette for me?

RALSTON. (Gives a quick turn and look at BOB,)Did you tell her?

BOB. No.RALSTON. Who did?

BOB. (Pointing to DICK, who is much perturbed)He did.

DICK. She overheard me talking about it.

RALSTON. Is that all you have to talk about?

(To MABEL ) What did you tell her?MABEL. (R. c.) I don't know she told us to

wait here. (DiCK is extreme R. BOB L. c. VANLj

RALSTON. What for?

MABEL. I don't know.RALSTON. (Turning to BOB) Bob, you'll have

to square this. Tell my wife that Dick was lying.Tell her that he was playing a joke. Go on. Tell

her.

BOB. I cannot tell a lie.

RALSTON. (Desperate) This one won't count.

JL^U Oh, yes it will.

DICK! (Crossing from extreme R. to L. so that

he is on the R. RALSTON and BOB L. c.) We gotto get rid of them. They must not meet Mrs. Ral-

ston again.If they go now she'll surely suspect some-

RALSTON. Dick, that's so. (To BOB) Oh, if youcould only tell a lie.


DICK. Yes.

BOB. I can fix the whole thing without telling alie.

ALL. How?BOB. Mabel can lie. Get Mabel to deny every-

DICK. That's so.

RALSTON Will you tell her what to fa-

BOB. Yes. Boys, after I do this, can I take alittle nap?

ALL. No.RALSTON. (Pushing BOB toward c.) Go on

and tell her. (Bos crosses to girls at Rj ( RAL-STON follows and is standing next to BOB at R. c.

DICK * N- L. c.)BOB. Mai* Ralston wants you to do a

favor for him. \\hcn you meet Mrs. Ralston tell

her you came to the office to trade with Mr. Don-

RALSTON. And that you don't know me, and that

I did not light your cigarette.

SABEL. (Extreme R.; What are we going to

get out of it?

MABEL. We want you to give us a tip so we canmake a lot of money.

RALSTON. You do this for me and 111 give youa tip to-morrow so that you can make a barrel of

money.BOB. Why give them the tip? \Vhy not give

them the money? CRALSTON gives BOB a dig in

back)RALSTON. Shut up. (As BOB is dug in the ribs

by RALSTON, he turns quickly from the force andalmost falls over MABEL, coming face to face with

her)BOB. How did you kick that hi^

RALSTON. Mabel, Miss Jackson.


BOB. Now you tell Mrs. Ralston that you cameto the office to trade with Mr. Donnelly.RALSTON. That you don't know me and that T

did not light your cigarette.

MABEL. I understand.

BOB. Do you think you can remember that ?

MABEL. I'll try.

BOB. Please repeat the speech just as you're

going to tell it.

MABEL. I came to the office to trade with Mr.

Donnelly. I don't know Mr. Ralston, and Mr.Ralston never lit a cigarette for me.

RALSTON. That's it. (DiCK and VAN cross L.)BOB. Fine. We depend upon you to smooth

everything over.

SABEL. Don't worry about us.

MABEL. I'll tell the taxi to wait. ('MABELcrosses quickly, goes up stage betu\ men.SABEL goes up stage extreme R., and both exit

c.)

RALSTON. (Pushing BOB up stage) Don't let

them get away. Tell the driver to say he is unableto start the car.

BOB. I won't do anything of the sort. That's a

lie. Don't worry, I saw the car I don't think any-

body can start it. (Exits c. to R., following gRALSTON, (u. c. VAN and DICK over Lj Now,

if she tells that story (Sudden thought) We'vegot him. We've got Bennett.

DICK. What do you mean ?

RALSTON. Here's where we kill two birds withone stone. After she tells that story to Mrs. Ral-

ston, we'll collect from Bennett.

DICK and VAN. How?RALSTON. Now, he hasn't spared us. Now we'll

double cross him. Don't you see by telling Mabel

NOTH I THR TRf 67

to lie, he has made himself an accessory before the

DICK. Of course he ha- aiding and abet-

ting a falsehood.

RALSTON.Certainly.

I'm satisfied.

(Crosses R. u. up c. i' There'i

no argument. The minute she tells that story helow*VAN. He gave us a run for oar money, but he

cJffWmish. (VAN crosses a. c. with DICK fol-

lowing as MABEL and SABEL enter from <

HEL. re. L. of RALSTON) It's all right

told the taxi to wait. (MABEL and SABEL dropdoum R. SABEL if t. of table, MABEL L. of it)

(VAN and DICK exit)RALSTON, (u. c.) Mabel, I want you to tell that

story exactly as Mr. Bennett told you. Mr. Don-' settle with you to-morrow. (T.xit)

SABEL. (*.) All we've ever got from them are

prom MRS. RALSTON enters from upstair*Here she is. (Quietly)

MABEL. (R. c., crosses to chair L. of table) Act

*y.

MRS. RALSTON. Will you pleasebe seated?

MABEL. Yes, ma'am. (Sits in chow L. of table

R. SABEL sits R. of table)MRS. RALSTON. (Stands c.) I want to ask a

few important questions. I don't want you to tell

me anything but the truth, and I do not expect youto go unrewarded for your honesty. If what you

nificant enough (MABEL and SAHLexchange looks on the word "significant") I will

give you $100.MABEL. Yes, ma'am.MRS. RALSTON. (c.) How long have you known

Ralston?


MABEL. (Rising) Oh, I guess we better hadn't

tell anything, Mrs. Ralston.

MRS. RALSTON. If you tell me what I want to

know, I will give you $200.

SABEL. Two hundred dollars?

MRS. RALSTON. Yes.

MABEL. What do you want to know ?

SABEL. But when do we get the money?MRS. RALSTON. I understand. If you will ex-

cuse me, I'll get the money now. (Starts to go upthe steps) I'll make him pay for this. (Exits up-

stairs)SABEL. Pay? ('MABEL takes off hat, hands on

hips. Quickly crosses to steps and looks at them)MABEL. Well!SABEL. (Crossing back of table Rj Two hun-

dred dollars, Mabel, let's get it. (Goes R. of table)What will you tell her?MABEL. I'm to tell her that I came to the office

to trade with Mr. Donnelly.SABEL. That isn't significant make up some-

thing.MABEL. I can't make up anything.SABEL. Tell her something you've read about.

Oh, I know, tell her the speech you loved so muchin our act.

MABEL. The innocent girl?SABEL. That's significant. Didn't you hear the

audience cry *he night you read that speech?MABEL. She wouldn't believe that.

SABEL. Yes, she would. A jealous woman will

believe anything. (Enters MRS. RALSTON from up-stairs with two hundred dollars in bills in her

hand)MABEL. (Quickly) All right, I'll try it.

SABEL. Sh !

MRS. RALSTON. (Sits) Now, then, we can pro-

NOTHING BUT THF TRITH c<>

ceed. Tell me everything. (Sits on piano bench.

SABEL has seated herself R. of table)

MRS. RALSTON. Yes.

MABEL. I came to the office to trade with Mr.

Donnelly I don't know Mr. Ralston.

MRS. RALSTON You are not telling methe truth. How long has this been going on?

'hat has happened.!. Ralston !MABEL. Mrs.

MRS. RALSTON. Well, you certainly cannot ex-

pect me to give you two hundred dollars without

lling me something th.v '

it. Ylaml how long? f MAHEL turning to

SABEL;MRS. RALSTON. Three months, at least three

months, now admit it ?

(Quietly to MABEL across table) Goon. admit it.

n'pht. T admit it.

TON. Tl you tdl methe mth at Dnce, you'll gain nothing by lying. I

have nere two hundred doll.v voull

not ^et one penny unless you tell me exactly whatI want to know. Now tell me the worst.

: L. Tell her. Tell her.

MABEL. All right. (Turns in chair and strikes

a dramatic attitude) I was an innocent girl. Noth-

ing but a kid What did I know of the wicke<!

then (Rise and come to c.) he camdidn't know he was married, I believed everythinghe told me.

MRS. RALSTON. Yes, go on. goMABEL. One nieht Oh, gawd 111 never for-

get that night (Hands by side) He gave methinr ik there n pe been somethingin it beside harmless booze.


MRS. RALSTON. Yes, go on, go on.

MABEL. When I came to

SABEL. (Presumably crying softly to herself, but

work .-/ for MABEL,) Don't say any more.

\BEL. It was too late. (By chair)MRS. RALSTON. (Rising) How late was it?

MABEL. Too late, I said. (Sinks in chair with

her head on her arm across the table)MRS. RALSTON. This is dreadful. Here is your

$200. Worse than I dreamed. You poor(Gives money) I'll telephone my lawyers and haveaffidavits drawn up. Oh, the monster, the monster,the monster. (Exits weeping L.)

SABEL. (Rises) She swallowed it.

MABEL. (She cannot conceive that she got bywith such a thing) Did she?

SABEL. Sure she did. (With money that MRS.RALSTON had pushed into her hand at the finish ofher story the exact line to place it is "The poor

MABEL. Two hundred dollars ! Don't you think

we ought to return it ?

SABEL. (To L.) Mabel, it was given to you.MABEL, (c.) You might have yellow fever

given to you, but you wouldn't want to keep it.

SABEL. We've had a very good day. We better

leave this house. (The girls start up c. and are metby BOB and DICK. DICK entering first)MABEL. I guess we had.

DICK. Well?SABEL. Well, what?DICK. (Crosses back oj girls) Did you see her?MABEL. Yes, we saw her.

BOB. Did you tell her what I told you ?

MABEL. No.SABEL. Mabel didn't get a chance to say a thing,

Bobbie, but we've got to get back to the city.

NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH

Come on, Mabel. (GirLt start to exit. SABEL dots

so c. to R. )

DICK. But didn't she talk to you?MAHEI.. (In arch cj No, the didn't say a word.

Good-bye. (Kisses hand to boys. Differ

SABCL;BOB. Let them go. let them go.Du Vou don't know what it meant

to me, \vc may need them. I'm going to keep themhere. (Die* exits c. to R., Ifairs BOB u. *

(Enter GWEN and I c. GWEN comes to

<loing above bench. comes L. to

front of piano by dropping down extreme L. and

crossing in front of settee)GWEN. Bob, Ethel is our secretary and I have

told her in the strictest confidence that you are

goin to make a lot of money for me, but she won't

repeat it.

ETHEL. (Still very much insulted and hurt in

her attitude towards BOB; Rest assured, Til keepit secret. (I HOP, c. from R. He has the

stock certificate in his hand which VAN has sold

him. He is deeply interested and on entering the

room is reading to himself, but aloud, the back ofthe certificate)

BISHOP. (Enters reading) For value received, I

hereby sell and assign (Coming c. BOB at R.

THEL L. c.> Pardon me, I thoughtwas another room.

BOB. It is you were out there.

BISHOP. I mean that is I don't know exactlywhat I mean. I know so little about business. Youknow aH about stocks, don't yon?

BOB. Hardly. There's no such thing as knowingall about them.

BISHOP. (Shows his slock certificate to BOB)But I refer to certain stocks which go up.


BOB. (Eon takes the certificate, looks at it,

smiles) I know all about this stock, Sulphur Bank.Who gave you this?

BISHOP. (Taking the certificate quickly from.BoB,) Gave it to me? Gave it to me? One doesn't

have such things as this given to them.

BOB. Do you mean to say that you paid moneyfor that? (BiSHOP staggers with his hand to his

head. The two girls run and catch him. ETHEL is

R. of him, GWEN L. of him)GIRLS. Bishop!BISHOP. I paid seven thousand dollars for it.

BOB. To whom ?

BISHOP. Mr. Mr.BOB. Van Dusen?BISHOP. (Wild-eyed) Yes! Yes!BOB. What did you give him in payment?BISHOP. My check, sir, for seven thousand dol-

lars.

BOB. Where is your bank?BISHOP. Seven thousand streets down no noI mean seven streets down. Is it worth much

more than seven thousand dollars?

BOB. No.BISHOP. I'll let it go profit and all for what

I paid for it seven thousand dollars eh?BOB. (R.) No.BISHOP. (Turning to ladies) Ladies!GIRLS. No, thank you, Bishop.BISHOP. (Turning to BosJ Fourteen hundred

pounds.BOB. No, no.

BISHOP. But he said it was very rare.

BOB. It is very rare, it's raw. (BISHOP faints.ETHEL holds him, while GWEN brings the chair

from L. of arch c. down stage and they get theBISHOP in it)


hop quick he is fainting.

OWEN. Water, Bob. quickly, f BOB turns migets glass of water off table tJ

IIEL. Here, here, the poor Bishot.

BISHOP. (Slowly drinks water, opens his fyt*)nr, sulphur ! (BOB takes the glass, smells the

water)BOB. Sulphur? (Puts glass back on table)BISHOP. (To BOBJ Come nearer. Is it a food

stock? Is it a good stock?

ETHEL. Tell hiir the stock is all right.

BISHOP. (In desperation) Tell me the truth,

is it a good stock ?

BOB. It's no good at all.

BISHOP. Ichabod, Ichabod, thy glory has de-

parted! ( BISHOP It-ts his head sink in his hands,he is in a weeping position)

GWEN'. Bob. you're heartless. BishopBISHOP. (Looking up) Buy it! Hold it! Sefl

it! It's pomp up! Sulphur! I preached againstit all my life and I was right it's hell I beg yotir

pardon, ladies. I don't know what I am saying.BOB. It's quite all right, Bishop.BISHOP. (Picking up certificate which he has

dropped on the floor in front of him when he

fainted in the chair, looking at certificate)

spurious. I have been swindled (Rise) Oh, myfourteen hundred pounds. I shall go mad.GWEN. Run to your bank.

BISHOP. HI find the perfidious beggar and IT1

tweek his nose. Hold him if you should chance to

see him. Brimstone and sulphur sulphur andworks u. stage. Aftfr the

Til hveck his nose" the first time, so that heis right at the c. arch for the line "sulphur and

stone") (Exits c. to R.j

ETHEL. Isn't it a shame, the poor Bishop^


OWEN. Now I'm getting worried about my in-

vestment.

ETHEL, (c) I don't blame you. Last evening

my father said Mr. Bennett was a very truthful

man, but I think some people try to overdo a good

thing. Suppose I said what I exactly thought of

you. I don't care if Gwen likes you or not. I think

you are very, very fresh.

GWEN. Now please don't quarrel.BOB. I think she's right.

GWEN. You're sorry you offended her, aren't

you, Bob?BOB. Yes, I'm very sorry.ETHEL. Then you didn't mean what you said

about my hat?

BOB. Oh, yes, I did. ("ETHEL cries. GWEN con-

soles her. Both girls are L. c.) (Enter VAN c.

arch from L., counting the money that he has gotten

from the bank on the BISHOP'S check. He comesdown extreme R. BOB is R. c.)

BOB. Have you seen the Bishop?

VA^^I'm through with theBishop.

~dj\vEN. He is going to do something terrible to

you. (Enter RALSTON followed by DICK fromR. 2)

Vljk What for?

That Sulphur Bank.VAN. Sulphur Bank's a good stock. E. M. said

it \Vas~

RALSTON. (Dropping c. BOB L. of table R. DICKback of table Rj I'm glad you feel that way about

that stock, Van. Hold it, my boy, it will be all rightin a few days.VAN. I'm out of it.

RALCTON. How out of it ?

Just out. I sold it to the Bishop.>N. What?


LADIES. Vet, vet.

RALSTON. Of course, he doesn't know Wn no

BOB. Yes, he does. He asked me and I told him.

RALSTON. (To BOB> How dare you? (ToVan Dusen, how dare you twindl<

lie?

VA^ How dare you swindle me in your office?

(W^^oes up stage R., then comes back immedi-

ately)RALSTON. (Going up cj My wife will go mad.

(Looking up stairs. GWEN crosses down to R. c.

to L. of BOB. RALSTON drops back to c. ETHELL. behind set

GWEN. . Mr. Van Dusen. you didn't sell

this stock to the Bishop know is worthless?

V^N. I had just as r. th in it as yourfatnernad when he sold it to me.GWBN. (Turning to father) Then yoL wfci

surely make good to the Bishop?VAN. I hope so.

CWx. Dad, you must make good.RALSTON. Yes, yes. I'll smooth it out. All Bob's

got to do is to say he was mistaken.

Vt's hurry and find the Bishop,Tell him you were mistaken.

BOB. I can't do that. (Pause)GWEN. But I want you to do it for my sake.

BOB. For your sake, I must not doG\v uti're making yourself- (Turns to

father) I'm getting worried about him.

RALSTON. Worried?GWEN. I'm worryingRALSTON. What at*

GWEN. I gave Bob some money to invest for meyesterd.i

RALSTON. How much money was it ?

;6 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH

GWEN. Ten thousand dollars.

RALSTON. Ten thousand dollars yesterday. (It

suddenly hits him that that's the money BOB bet

with him, and that fie not only has to double the

chanty money, but may lose the bet as well. Hesinks back with a terrible groan. GWEN rushes to

him and supports him)GWEN. Do you know ?

RALSTON. Do I know? (Is about to say yes,

if he does BOB wins). No, I don't know. (EntersMRS. RALSTON from L. 2, drops down extreme

L.;MRS. RALSTON. You monster you wretch!

RALSTON. Huh? What? (Situation. All turn

and look at MRS. RALSTONJ (MRS. RALSTON cross-

ing L. c. GWEN goes to ETHEL, who is at L. by

settee)MRS. RALSTON. When I think of all the years

you have been masquerading as a respectable citizen,

you monster.

DICK. (Over table to BOB. Quietly) Shall I

get Mabel?BOB. Yes. (Exit DICK c. to R.)

MRS. RALSTON. Three months! Think of it,

three months, leading a double life with that inno-

cent girl. ('RALSTON throws up his hands and says"oh" and goes up stage. Drops down again im-

mediately) Deceiving your wife, and your daugh-ter, hiding from us the truth. You monster, to

bring that girl into my home.RALSTON. What girl ?

MRS. RALSTON. Mabel.

RALSTON. She came to the office to trade with

Mr. Donnelly.MRS. RALSTON. I don't believe you, I don't be-

lieve you.GWEN. What has father done?

N<> 77

RALSTON. I haven't done anything. (Enter c.

MABEL and DICK. They slay up stage c.)

MRS. RALSTON. You haven't done anything?

Deny this evidence, if you can. (RALSTON hmuand sees the girls. Quickly gon to BOB>RALSTON. Bob, make her tell that

story.BOB. (Crossing to MRS. RALSTON J Mrs. Ral-

ston, if you won*t tx ur husband, will youbelieve the young lady

herself? (MABEL tomesdow. :CK aofs back of table R. Evtryon*watching this u*ith intense interest)

MRS. RALSTON. Yet.BOB. (Turns to MABEL, thinking, as do th* other

men. that she is going to say "/ came to the office

to trade with Mr. Donnelly," etc.) Mabel, tell them

your story.r. i. I was an innocent girl (Curtain)

Nothing but a kid

MF at? (A look of horror on all the

men's faces)

Curtain

(NOTE Ring curtain on the line "I was an inno-

cent girl" but the action and the expressionmust be seen, so don't get too fast a curtain

medium fast)

Second Curtain

(NOTE Go up immediately. MABEL is still in

c. telling the story, the only line that is heardand must be spoken is "one night, Oh, Gawd,I'll never forget that night" as : Wn is

well up all the men leave the stage, also GWCNand ETHEL. DICK runs off ^ 2. .roughc. RALSTON following kirn. MRS. RALSTON


puts GWEN and ETHEL off stage so they won't' this story, L. 2. BOB goes to second step

on the stairs and stands there and in gesture

says "Shake her, shake her." This action is all

fast. The curtain is not held for it)

ACT III

Sam* as Act II

BOB enters from stairway door L. u. Creeps

downstairs, bumps into small table on landing;

nearly knocks over vase. Business IUreaches stage and looks at clock and watches it.

then stamps his foot, peers around door. Ad-vances and looks carefully out door comes back,

fees RALSTON coming R. arch. BOB hurries down

stage end of arch, hides behind curtains. As RAL-STON appears, BOB swings to back of curtain.

RALSTON goes out on veranda, looks at watch, then

L. 2 E. BOB appears, sees DICK coming. BOBhides behind door L. of arch c. DICK enters, looks

about for BOB, takes out watch. Looks off R. arch,

makes a hasty exit as if he had caught sight of BOB.BOB comes from behind door, heaves a sigh of re-

lief. Looks off R., sees lk>u hides behind

R. door of arch L. VAN enters-^omes stoit

c. Hears clock, looks about with suspicious air.

Goes to clock, puts out hand to move hand. (Noise

off stage scat, (NOISE) He pauses; then

mores hand to 29 minutes past three. BOB doesn't

see VAN do this business. VAN exits c. BOB comes

from behind door, shakes his head as if in deepdistress, comes down stage to back of table R. Takesout watch, looks at it sks at clock. Shakesand places his watch to his ear to set- if it has

stopped. A knowing smile enlightens his face. ll<

goes to clock and sets it to 3^25. He then smiles

79


as he looks away from clock, apparently hits

his face on the door. He then sees the BISHOP.

Crosses over, hides on bench by stairway.BISHOP. (Enter c. to R. Looks all around, sees

BOB hiding) (Bos starts upstairs as BISHOP sees

him) Mr. Bennett, are you hiding?BOB. (Rising and coming to BISHOP ) Yes.

BISHOP. It's refreshing to meet an honest manlike you, Mr. Bennett. (Shakes hands with BEN-

NETT,)BOB. Thank you.BISHOP. It is easier to speak the truth, don't you

think so?

BOB. No, and if you think it is, try it some time.

BISHOP. But you practice it.

BOB. Yes.

BISHOP. I had occasion to preach on Truthful-

ness in the city about a month ago. Were youthere?

BOB. Yes, I was there.

BISHOP. Did you like my sermon?BOB. I liked the beginning of it.

BISHOP. Didn't you like the rest of it?

BOB. I didn't hear the rest of it.

BISHOP. You didn't leave the church during mysermon ?

BOB. No. I liked the beginning of it.

BISHOP. Then how is it you didn't hear the rest

of it?

BOB. I was asleep.BISHOP. (Hesitates, then smiles) Well, well, I

like your frankness.

BOB. I am glad somebody does.

BISHOP. Oh, Mr. Bennett, what about the sul-

phur bank stock? Mr. Van Dusen rushed off andcashed my check for seven thousand dollars. Whatshall I do?

NOTHING BUT THE TRlTi 81

Bo* I haven't the slightest idea.

BISHOP. O oh, dear, shall I hare to tote

seven thousand dollars? Can't I get any of mymoney back? Tell me the truth.

BOB. You might get some of it bade, if you askMr. Ralston for

BISHOP. Some of it ?

BOB. We get everything we ask for in this world.

Bishop, if we ask for it in the right way.BISHOP. Oh, you mean I've got to pray for it ?

BOB. No, don't pray for it. Bishop. Ask for it,

and the louder you ask the more you will get. andon yell loud enough you may get it nil.

BISHOP. Yell?

BOB. (Crossing up stage and going up the stairs

L. Stops in the middle)*

Yell, that's what I mean.

(Starts up the jam, stops) Yell. When I sayyell 1 ket. (CLO( Clockstrikes the half hour 3.30. BOB refers Isn't

beautiful. (Smiles and exits upstairBISHOP. (At left center to himself) Bull ? Bull

the market? (Sudden thought) Oh. yes, up anddown, up a:; n. ("RALSTON enters L. 2.

Comes around piano above it to L. c. BISHOP at

RALSTON. My dear Bishop, how are you ?

BISHOP. If you don't mind my saying so, I'm abit wary.

RALSTON. Wary ?

ve been swindled in your house. Yousee this? (Shows certificate. Hands it to RAL-STON )

RALSTON. Yes. (Looks at certificate)

Your name is on it, sir. On the backof it. sir. On the back of it.

RALSTON. (Turning the certificate over) I see

h2 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH

BISHOP. I've been Simple Simoned under yourroof, sir. (Enter VAN from c. BISHOP sees him)There is the impostor! Hold him!RALSTON. Now, Bishop.BISHOP. Hold him!RALSTON. Now, my dear (At c.) Bishop, Mr.

i Dusen will not run away.BISHOP. (Advancing several steps toward VAN

DUSEN, being intercepted by RALSTON ) Holdhim!

VAN^ (Coming R. cj What's the trouble?

.BISHOP. You know what's the trouble. He told

me it would go up. He told me I would double

and triple my money.RALSTON. Oh! That's the way the wind b!

eh? Now, Bishop, in fairness you must admit youwere trying to make more money than is consistent

\vith safety. You were trying to get something for

nothing.BISHOP. (Excitedly) Do you call $7,000

nothing ?

VAN.,

How do you know it is not good?BISHOP. That honest gentleman, Mr. Bennett,

told me so. He said it was no good at all.

VAN^ What does he know about it ?

BISHOP. I believe him.

VAN. I'm afraid you believe the last thing youare tofc}, Bishop.

RALSTON. Now, Bishop, this stock may turn out

very well indeed.

BISHOP. Whistle that to the horse-marine, sir.

RALSTON. (Trying to pacify him) Now don't

let us quarrel, Bishop. The best of friends have

misunderstandings and are often better off for hav-

ing them.

BISHOP. Better off? I'm seven thousand dol-

lars out.

NOTHING BUT KLTII 83

RALSTON. (Showing BISHOP certificate) Now

BISHOP. (Steps R., pushing it aside and croumgto c.) Ill have none of it I want my seven thou-sand dollars {To VAN> Or 111 tweek your nose.

VAK. You'll w!

flKRbN. Ssshthey'll

hear you.BISHOP. (Loudly) I want them to hear me.

not hush. {To RALSTON > Hebested me in your house. (Loudly) Oh, my four-

teen hundred pounds.RALST< >h!

Softpedal, Bishop, pleaseNow, Bishop, let me reason with you.

You speculated. You expected to win three times

Ac amount of your investment You can't expectto do that and run no risk.

BISHOP. I didn't want to run a risk. I want

my money ! (Goes up to steps L. and sho:<

been robbed!RALSTON. (Leading him down stage, a few s:

Hush! Good heavens; Here take this!

(Offers him the certificate he pushes it aside,

drops down c.)

BISHOP. Nol No! He rushed off to my bankand cashed my check before I could tell him I hadbeen swindled. Oh, oh, o o

(RALSTON puts his hand over the BISHOP'Sto

preventthe people from hearing him.

quickly goes up stage, shuts the c. doors, then

goes extreme *.) Choke him! Choke him!RALSTON. Please speak softly. Bishop.BISHOP. I don't want to speak softly.RALSTON. Wait! Wait! Let me speak to Mr.

i Duscn. (Crosses *, to VAN; Have younoncy?

NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH

(Extreme R.; I've got it.

(Offering certificate to VAN; Be a

good fellow and buy it back.

yjLJLNo! I bought it in good faith and I sold

it.^TCat's all there is to it.

BISHOP. Oh dear oh, dear I want my seven

thousand dollars.

RALSTON. Ssh ! Ssh !

BISHOP. (Loudly) I want my seven thousanddollars. Oh o o o I've been swindled.

RALSTON, (c. Trying to quiet him) Waitwait ! I'm the one who always has to pay. (Takescheck that VAN has given him in Act One and cer-

tificate in the other hand) Now, Bishop, 111

sell your stock for you. Understand? (CrossesRj

'

BISHOP. Yes, I understand.

RALSTON. (Crossing to VAN,) Here's your cer-

tified check give me the money. ('VAN does so)Now, Bishop, the stock is sold. (Bisnop goes to

steps)RALSTON. ("VAN gets back his certified check,

RALSTON puts certificate in pocket. BISHOP goes u

stage and looks up the stairs and off during this

business) I charge five per cent for selling this

class of stock that's three hundred and fifty dol-

lars. (Takes $350 from roll, puts in his pocket,,

and hands the BISHOP the balance as he drop3down L., leaving RALSTON c.) There you are

Bishop, and no harm done.

BISHOP. Thank you, Mr. Ralston. Thank youvery much, indeed.

RALSTON. Now I hope you're satisfied. (Cross-

ing to VAN; I'll set fire to his church.

V^N^ (R.) Be sure he's in it. (WatchingBISHOP; who is over L. counting his money) I

don't think he's going to swallow it.


BISHOP. (L.) I'm short. fVAJf grunts) I'mshort $35070 pounds.

RALSTON v.i .. :!:.: ooofll bBISHOP. I know nothing about

is commission? Am I to lose $350?RALSTON. It's business.

BISHOP (Loudly) I've been the victim of a

monkey trick.

\'.\y. Soft! Soft! (Goitig up stage, then

JMB7BISHOP. I've been too soft, sir. I don't under-

stand it. I wish I had never come here. (Loudlyad lib) I shall tell the best people in town.

RALSTON. Ssh! Please) Please!

BISHOP. I want three hundred and fifty dol-

lars, seventy pounds. (LoudVAN. (Going up stage quickly, looks up s.

wttjSkd then off arch RJ Give it to him ! Give it

to him!RALSTON. (At c.) Here it is! Here it

Take it! (Gives him money) Take itPhew 1

Good Lord! (Goes up c.)

YA^ (At R. c.) Say, are you Billy Sunday'suncRRrody?

BISHOP. No, sir, I'm a child in these matters.

I've noticed that

I know nothing of sordid business af-

fairs.

RALSTON, (c.) WeB, at least everything is all

right now, isn't it?

BISHOP. Yes. Isuppose

so. (Thinking takes

out check book) But it's my money. You had it.

You took it out of my bank. You had the

of it I want my interest.

VAX \Vluit?

RALSTON . Interest ?

VAN, I didn't use your money.


BISHOP. That was not my fault. Yon had it.

It was a risk. I must be paid for it.

VAN. (Emphatically) I'll pay you no int

Breffop. (Starting to work up to a shout a;

Oh, dear, you're cheat ing me because 1 know noth-

ing about business. You're taking advantage of mebecause I've been reckless. I want

RALSTON. Please! Please 77 to

quiet him. But the BISHOP continues)BISHOP. (Ad. lib. VAN and RALSTON through

this) You're trying things on me because I'm inno-

cent looking. (VAN opens door R. c.) I knownothing about business. (BISHOP takes small padand pencil from pocket. Crosses doum to c.v

L. and starts to figure) Seven thousand six percent one month is thirty-five dollars. (Turning to

RALSTON and VAN,) I want my interest.

RALSTON. Hush ! I beg of you, Bishop.BISHOP. (Yelling) I'll tell everyone, everyone.

VA^J^ (Going up stage, shuts the c. doors on

arcn^wliich he has opened as the BISHOP is sayingthe preceding line "You're trying things on

etc.) Give it to him! Give it to him! (Com-esdown R. c.)

RALSTON. Here! (Takes out $35; Here!Here's your $35. Quick ! Take it ! (Shoves the

money into BISHOP'S hand) Whew! You don't

know a thing about business, do you !

BISHOP. (Taking the money and counting it)

No, sir!

VA^ He's as helpless as a lion. I'll hide this

cneclc before he gets it. (Puts check in pocket)RALSTON. (Crossing to the BISHOP who is L.)

How much salary do you get a year, Bishop?BISHOP. (Very quietly and dignified) Only

Five thousand dollars, Mr. Ralston.

RALSTON. Well, if you should ever leave the

NOTHING BUT Till TRUTH 87

church, you're worth ten thousand dollars to mev office. That's how much I think you know

about business.

BISHOP. (Crossing in front of RALSTON

stage c., Uaving RALSTON k , VAN nj If you will

excuse me. 111 go back to the bank.

YAM. (G0i0 up . of BISHOP RALSTON L. ofhm] Hie bank is closed, Bishop.

BISHOP. They L; to keep it open for me,Mr. Qark requested tl

RALSTON. T. P. Gark?BISHOP. Yes.VAX. Does dark know you bought that stock?WWtor \\Y11 in strict confidence I tried to

sell ft to him.

RALSTON. I'm ruined. (Croons and sinks on the

settee)VAN. You're w!

4HBroN. I'm ruined. \Vhat <lid he say to you?What did Clark say?

BISHOP. He told me to come up here and seeUennett.

RALSTON. You haven't seen Bennett?BISHOP. Oh, yes, I saw Mr. Bennett, and I

talked with 1

RALSTO it did Bennett say?BISHOP. He told me I would get my money back,

if I yelled loud enough.RALSTON. Oh o o o {Holding his head)

Did Bennett say t:

BISHOP. Yes.

VAN- Listen, Bishop, if J. P. Clark asks youaoOTn^nat stock again, tell him I bought it backfrom you.RALSTON. With interest!

BISHOP. (Starting up to c. arch, stops, turns

and comes back to RALSTON, who is still seat'

ss /THING BUT THE TRUTH

bench) Oh, yes! I'd akiKKt forgotten it. I be-

lieve your daughter has at last her $20,000 charity

money. (VAN sits A. of table )

RALSTON. It hasn't been settled yet.BISHOP. (Starting to get loud) What?RALSTON. (Qi< from

making anotl I mean to say, it hasn't

been settled how much I am to give.BISHOP. Oh, we want all we can get. For we

can use it it's a very worthy charity. (Starts to

go up a few steps to c. arch)RALSTON. Don't overwork yourself. I think my

daughter has raised enough for you. I don't wantto give beyond my means, you know.

BISHOP. We will not allow your liberality to hide

behind that plea. Well, well, I must be off. (Goesdirectly to c. arch, opens door which VAN has c!

stops and comes back to VAN, who is seated oftable) Oh, yes, there's another thing, I'd almost

forgotten.VAN. Oh! (Mumbles to himself)

JW8Bftp. (Touching VAN lightly on the shoul-

der) You said you would give me a donation.

VAJT (Slowly turns in his chair and looks at

tUPf^mop) Did I?

BISHOP. Yes, sir! You told me at noon time

you would subscribe.

VjK* Let it go until later.

r^R)p. Oh, dear, you promised. He promisedhe would give our committee some money. (Start-

ing to cry again) (RALSTON starts to pacify him,also VAN)

(Rises) Now, Bishop, please,

please !

BISHOP. I depended upon it, sir. You'vebroken your word to me. I shall tell everyone.

(Bishop getting loud)

N< , HIT THK Tkl'

RALST<

(Rising) Wait! Here's a hundred dd-

you.BISHOP. Thank you. sir. (BISHOP crosses up

c. arch. VAN at left of table R. RALSTONtrust this is y (Erits c. to *.) (t

DICK from R. 3. Comes R

RALSTON. Where have you been ?

DICK. I've been looking for Bob.

yLjjL They're off all right.

KALSTON. Where's George Washington?DICK. I don't kn<

RALSTON. Go and find him. Don't come backnt him. Search everywhere. In the gardens.

Drag the pond. (Starts up

^LtL H he's in the pond, don't drag it Drugfc.^^/0 tj (Boa enters from arch c. Comesdown c.)

DICK. (To u c.) Come in here. Harold.

RALSTON. (Taking i.) Come on, hurry up I

want to talk to you. (Bon coming c. RALSTONVAN R. D; RALSTON in L. of DICK)

vc ruined my business and wrecked my home.At least you'll tell my ibcl wasn't telling die

truth.

BOB. I think I can say Mabel exaggerated.RALSTON. Exaggerated! You'll tell Mrs. Ral-

ston I don't know Mabel at all.

BOB. I won't tell a lie.

RALSTON. You won't, eh ?

BOB. No.RALSTON. You'll set my wife against me, rather

than lo

BOB. I'm very sorry, but I must winRALSTON. (Emphatically) All right, that settles

it it's gone far enough. The bet is called off.

f340 Clock)


(R.) I'll call the bet off, if you'll tell the

I'm on the square. (The attitude now ofthese men is that it is within twenty minutes (

time limit and they are trying to get out of the

bet)DICK. Maybe we'd better call it even and drop

it.

RALSTON. (L.) All right, it's cancelled. Now,will you tell my wife what I want you to?

BOB. (c. Joyously) You mean, I win ?

RALSTON. (L.) No, no, it's just called off.

(This line is spoken very quietly)BOB. (c.) Wait a minute. The bet is not called

off. It's on very much on. Do you think that

after I've answered every crazy question for nearly

twenty-four hours, I'm going to let you call the

bet off? You don't know me.

^ Will you take a furlough?"No. I won't take a furlough. Even if I

knew what it was, I wouldn't take it. You all ridi-

culed me when I made this bet you thought I was

crazy. You pitied me. Oh, I haven't forgottenthat. You didn't think I had a chance to win, did

you?DICK. (L. c.) We didn't think you'd sacrifice

your friends and everything to win.

BOB. You didn't hesitate to sacrifice me.

RALSTON. How much will you take to stop now ?

BOB. I won't bargain. I've too much at stake.

I'm going to win this $20,000 legitimately.

RALSTON. (L.) I'll give youBOB. ( c. Quickly) You'll give me nothing.

You have put every obstacle in my way. You'vetried every trick to force me into a falsehood, I've

been through the toughest experience I ever hadin my life, but I'm going straight through to the

finish.

N< : RI.T THF. TRUTH 91

RALSTON (\.. Pleading) Help us with CUrk'1?

BOB. NThe Bishop?NO.

DICK. Mrs. Ralston?BOB. No.

STON. (Getting mod) You ingrate. Ill dis-

our partnership.BOB. Very well, if it's necessary for me to He

to remain your partner, I miffht as well kno\v it

My self-respect is more important to methan your opinion. (Crosses to . 3.; Besides, I

feel better here. (Puts hand on heart)RALSTON. How do you suppose I feel here?

(Puts hand on heart)BOB. Empty! (Exits R. 3. Men att start VL

ad. I !RS. RALSTON speaks. MRS. RALSTONenters from L. u., comes down stc.

MRS. RALSTON. I thought you were here alone,

ive a few moments to spare, I would ap-

preciate it.

DICK. Pardon me, Mrs. Rnlston. (Going up c.)

Come, Van. (VAN going up to c. arch. Exit VANand DICK to R. Leaves RALSTON right)

MRS. RALSTON. I'm sorry to have to intrude

upon you.RALSTON. It's a pleasure, my dear, a pleas-

ure.

MRS. RALSTON. It is necessary for me to talk

to you, and I trust you to be as truthful as it is

possible for you to be.

RALSTON. Yes, my dear.

MRS. RALSTON. I know some facts, I know the

whom where and when. I wish to arrive at anaccurate conclusion of the what.

RALSTON. My dear, there is no what. I don't


know those girls: they are friends of that bounder,Dick.

MRS. RALSTON. Well, prove it.

RALSTON. I will ask Dick ask Van.MRS. RALSTON. I wouldn't believe them on a

stack of bibles.

RALSTON. Well, we haven't a stack of bibles.

Why don't you ask me?MRS. RALSTON. I don't believe you have ever

told the truth in your life.

RALSTON. (Takes his slap) Well, then, whomwill we ask ?

MRS. RALSTON. (L. c.) Robert. (RALSTONturns and looks off R. where BOB has gone. Point

this, sure laugh) I still believe he knows the truth,

and if Robert will tell me that you do not knowthose girls, I will believe him. I have implicit faith

in him. He seems determined to tell the truth.

RALSTON. (R. c.) Yes. He got a reputation

very quickly.MRS. RALSTON. But, until he tells me, I shall

continue making plans to leave this house.

RALSTON. Oh, my dear.

MRS. RALSTON. (Going up to the stairs) Un-less, of course, you intend to leave. (On first plat-

form)RALSTON. Now listen, my dear.

MRS. RALSTON. Send Robert to me at once.

(Starts to go upstairs, gets as far as the fourthstep from the top landing)

RALSTON. Just as soon as I find him. (RALSTONcrosses to R. of bottom stairs) Now, my dear,won't you please believe me? You know, after all,

I'm your husband.MRS. RALSTON. Yes, unfortunately. (Exits up-

stairs)RALSTON. Oh, great Scott I It's going to be a


dote shave. (Points to clock. Crossing up to c.

arch, colling off) Dick, Van! (RALSTON crosses

VAN and DICK enter. VAN first. DICKL. of table R. VAN comes c.) You fellows don't

ng me do all the worrying.DICK I'm worried enough btit what can we

do?VAM^ This thing is ftlliuf down dote and

4wJP^IMftw'kAsgoTiu protect.11. -,-n-,, IT . J^ __ \tr mmy money* now does Mrs.

feel now?RAI \ all up to Bennett She says

she will believe him.

Maybe we can make him tell her what weto.

DICK. (In chair L. of table) You heard whathe said about that.

YAJL There is one way to make him.KALSTON. HOW?

Make him lose the bet first then he'll

object in refusing.DICK. That's a bright idea. That's what we've

been trying to do for the last twenty-four hours.

VAN. Yes, but we haven't been trying the right

im^*rhcre is one way.DICK. How?RALSTON. Make him tell her the bet

He won't do that Frame him !

(Rises) WlA frame-up is the har<! ^ in the

dodge. Real danger is often accomplishedby certain warning signals. In a frame-up those

;>lan it take away the signs. Do you follow

me?RALSTON. Yes.

DICK. As far as you've gone.VAN. We've got to catch him off his guard.TJIHfc Who can do it ?


VAN. Gwen.TBHSroN. How can she do it ?

VAN. He is more apt to lower his guard to her,

RALSTON. Yes.

DICK. What will she say to him ? What will she

ask him ?

\. Now be patient Gwen knows that mis-

take "of Mabel's we'll call it a mistake

RALSTON. (Very emphatic) You know it's a

mistake.

VAN. All right, we know it's a mistake It has

made Aer mother very unhappy. She doesn't knowexactly what it's all about, but that is what she

must ask Bob.

RALSTON. What do you think he'll tell her?

jjAN. It depends upon what she asks, and howsheasks it.

DICK. Certainly. I can see that. What's the

trouble between father and mother? What are

those girls doing here? It breaks my heart to see

mother so unhappy. That kind of stuff, eh?

JAN. That's it. "Tell me, please tell me, that

m^tatner never met them," If he's got one sparkof manhood left in him, he'll lie like a gentleman.(Sure laugh, but on the business that follows,and RALSTON, who have been facing audience think-

ing this over, turn and look at VAN simultaneouslyon the word "gentleman") Any man would.RALSTON. Yes, I think even he would.DICK. (Crossing down from R. c. to R. in front

of table) Well, if he wouldn't he's a stony-heartedjailor.

RALSTON. It's a mean advantage to take of him,but it's better than letting him win.

DICK. Oh, I think to let him win would be ter-

rible.

NOTHING BUT TRUTH >;

The only way he can win U over my dead

RALSTON. Hell lie to Gwen if the asks the right

question.

VA^ Sure! To comfort her hell tell her that

jnirT^er mrRALSTON How will we know?

catch htm red-YANhanarrf.

K, (Coming to VAN) Who will coachGwen? Who will tell her what to say?VAN. I will.

'BBS-TON. (Gleefully) Good I Why didn't wethink of this before? (Starts to go upstairs but \

only a, step ) We would never have heard the last \>Jof this if he had won the bet. ^jMVAIL (To *r*f*rvfc c.) Let's find Bob.

-cWf. All right. We all going to listen ? ^\>

(Crosses to R. near arch)RALSTON. Certainly, we don't want any argu-

ment. (Going up the stairs. Gets as far as the

first landing) I'm going to stay right up here.

Don't let's have an argument. (Takes two steps

up the long stairs)

DICK. I'm going to find Bob and be right outhere. (Starts to exit R. As he does so enter

ETHEL and BISHOP from R, to u. through c. arch)ETHEL. (As soon as the men hear this new char-

acter they return to their positions. RALSTON hides

on the first landing behind the four-foot jog. VANextreme L. DICK R. RALSTON does not make amove during this scene as it will detract from the

plot that follows) Oh, Mr. Donnelly, whcrc'sGw<

DICK. She's not here now.BISHOP. (At cj I'm so excited. They have

heaped the measure of our request


ETHEL. Father sent me over with these for

. (Shows four checks)DICK. NYhat are they?ETHEL. Just a moment, till I get my breath.

When I arrived home, I found a lot of men there.

were having such a time, laughing up-

roariously.DICK. What about ?

ETHEL. They called me in and sent me here with

the Bishop.DICK. Yes, yes. But what is it all about?ETHEL. You'll have to let me tell it my way.DICK. All right.ETHEL. For it's so important.DICK. All right.ETHEL. (Front of table) It seems that

Ralston tried to sell something to father and the

other gentlemen, and when they heard that he hadoffered to double Gwen's charity money you don't

mind my saying this, do you ?

DICK. No. Go on !

ETHEL. Well, Mr. Marshall said, "Old Ralston

Irs worked up a reputation for being charitable

but he's never given a dollar, because he's offered

to double a prohibitive sum. This is our cl

to catch him." And they all know it's a worthycharity. Here's the checks. Father's, Mr. Mar-shall's, Mr. Hadley's, Mr. Carter's. Ten thor

dollars each. Forty thousand dollars. And with

Gwen's twenty thousand it makes a grand total of

sixty thousand dollars for him to double. RAL-STON gives a big groan and sinks with his head onthe balustrade) (BISHOP crosses up to the left offoot of stairs)

BISHOP. Did you hear the glad tidings? Did

you hear the glad tidings?RALSTON. (On the small platform, gives the

NOTHING BUT THR TRf 97

>p one look, then comfs down th* stairs to

R. c.) Yes. I heard the gladRalston, they've de-

cided to call the home by your name. The Ralston

Home.RALSTON, (c.) Hmm! Ill probably have to fo

there to !

(Crossing up to the stairs and going upthem, followed by BISHOP) Come along, Bishop.

:oing upstairs and tell Mrs. Ralston. (

with BISHOP up stairs)RALSTON. Sixty thousand dollars I'm the one

that always has to pay. Ill make htm lose that

bet and save that much anyway. Let's take Van'sc and frame him. (Works up to c. arch.

Looks off) There's Gwen.

Uyb (To DICK; Find Bob.

DlCK. All right T R. 2)RALSTON. It's a shame to do it. Well catch him

red-h (Going up the stairs) Don't let's missa word of it. Ill be right up here. (Ejrits upStairs) fVAN to R. of (Enter GWKNfrom c. Crosses down to settee L. tn front ofpiano)GWEN. Mr. Van Dusen.

V^i.I'm here to see Bob. I've been

tnHlpwith icr and mother. Your motheris upstairs she's tired, I fancy.GWEN. Yes, I'm afraid shi

YA|L It's too bad. You seem worried about

onflnmg. (VAN has come R. of settee and is stand-

ing. GWEN seated on the settee)GWEN. Oh, no, Mr. Van Dusen.

JJ4|U Oh, yes, I don't want to intrude into a

personal matter, but Mr. Donn ted those

young ladies here. They are not friends of Bobas you think.


GWEN. I didn't think so. I was under the im-

pression they were Dick's or maybe, friends of

fat In

Your father doesn't know them never

GWEN. Are you sure?

YAK. You ask Bob. He'll tell you all about

it.

GWEN. I'm going to ask him.

V^. Tell him how worried you are. (Starts to

cross stage to exit up c.) Make him reassure you.

(Enter BOB from R., looking at his watch)

^yj. Why, how do you do, Robert? (Exits c.

/OR., sure laugh)GWEN. (Rising and coming to c.) Bob, please

sit here. (Indicating L. on settee)BOB. I just want to fix this. (Starts for chair

L. of table x.)GWEN. No there (Pointing to settee

again) (BoB crosses and sits on the left hand ofsettee) (GwEN, after BOB has seated himself,crosses over and sits R. of settee) Bob, do youreally love me?

BOB. Why, yes, Gwen. (Bos goes to put his

arm around GWEN She gets up quickly and goesto c. When nothing is there to support BOB, he

falls and his hand strikes the side of the settee. Hesits up, feels his hand, takes the pillow which is

on his side of the settee and places it on GWEN'Sside, to prevent a recurrence. After business GWENcomes back to the settee and sits)GWEN. Now, Bob, I am not going to have the

other men in this house come to me, and offer metheir sympathy, while you avoid me. It is yourduty to explain everything to me.

BOB. If you will wait just a little while, I

explain everything so easily.

NOTHING BUT THK TRT : 99

(NOTE Clock now fifteen (i$) minutes to

four)GWEN. Why will it be easier then than now?BOB. \\

GWEN. Yes, why?BOB. Well, because later my mind will work

easier.

(NOTE During this scent GWEN must sit up-

right and take the attitude of cross-examination.

BOB is sparring for time and very cautions)GWEN. I think you can tell me the truth now,

as later. Is it any easier to tell the

6 day than on another?

BOB. Yes, verv much.What? (In working clock hand to this

hour you will find that the numerous laughs witt

aid you greatly. However, you must use your ownjudgment from the fifteen minutes to the five

minutes period)BOB. Now listen, Gwen. won't you please trust

mc ;.t 1 do I am doing for VOIL

Gwi \ I don't want to appear ungrateful, but

truthfully I cannot see what you are doing for me,Bob. Those girls

BOB. Now, Gwen, please.GWEN. \\ : rome here?

BOB. I think they came here to see Dick.

GWEN. Did they come here to see father?

BOB. No, no, Gwen. Believe me. that is true.

I believe you. Then mother is mistaken.

BOB. Yes.

GWEN. Why couldn't you have told me that at

once. You don't enjoy seeing me worry, do

you?BOB. That would make me very miserable,

Gwen. I couldn't see you worry.GWEN. Then reassure me. (Enter RALSTON

ioo NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH

stealthily from tlte top stairs, comas on four stepsond rem<:

'

given point to c.rit.) S \\car to

me that my father never met either of those girls.

That will convince me, and I will he happy.Well?

BOB. Gwen, if I tell you I never saw your father

with either of those girls, would that make youany happier?GWEN. Yes. (RALSTON'S face lights up ?<;//! a

smile as he knows BOB is going to lie. BOB, by in-

tuition, feels that there is somebody in back of him.

He shows the audience with his eyes that he is

conscious of what is being done to him by the three

men) (Pause for a count of ten) Why do youhesitate? Did you ever see my father with those

girls?BOB. (Quickly) Yes. ('RALSTON, who has been

on the quiveve, grabs his head, gasps and exits upthe stairs)GWEN. Where?BOB. In the office.

GWEN. When?BOB. Yesterday.(NOTE All of BOB'S replies are pulled out of

him, never quick)GWEN. What were they doing?BOB. (Starts to rise) Write me a letter about

it, Gwen.GWEN. (Restraining BOBJ Just a moment.

What were they doing when you saw them?BOB. Talking.GWEN. Just talking?BOB. There's a chain at Tiffany's at five

GWEN. Just a moment. What else did you see?

BOB. I saw a chair and an ice cooler, a stock

ticker (GwEN stops him before he can get anyfurther than ice cooler)

NOTHING BUT THE TRU i 101

GWBN. Bob) When you first saw my father

with those girl* what was he doing?Bon. He was lighting a cigarrt

GWBN. But he doesn't smoke cigarette*.

BOB. I know he doesn't. That's the funny partabout it.

GWBN. But you just said father was lighting a

Oh, then, it wasn't his cigarette?BOB. No.

' N. Then whose cigarette was it? (Thiscomes as a sudden thought to GWEN j

BOB. I think it was ! Morris's. (Clockhand at five to four) (CLOCK 5 to 4)GWEN. Bob! (After a pause ) Who was smok-

ing the cigarette? Answer me truthfully.BOB. (Deaf mute signs spells "Mabef)GWBN. Mabel?BOB. (Bus. "yes")GWEN. (Rising slowly) (Walking) Father lit

her cigarette?BOB. (Business spells "JV

KN. (Turns back to BOB sudd

you ought to be ashamed of yourself for telling meing.

BOB. Gwen !

GWEN. And furthermore, I do not think you are

telling me the truth.

BOB. (In desperation) Please don't say it isn't

the truth.

EN. Because Mr. Van Dusen just told mefather had never met them. (VAN comes on fromc. Gets half-way on the stage, as he hears this

nejrt line. He doesn't stop but turns quickly and

goes rig'' again. Tremendous laugh)BOB. Van Dusen is a liar! (l:.x::


GWEN. IM believe him.

BOB. I did it all for you.GWIN. Oh! (Turns quickly and goes up the

steps. As she reaches the middle, she stops) I hadmuch rather you had spent your time telling the

truth for me. (Exits up stairs) (Enter RAI

from L. c. Don't let this confuse you as he has

simply come from the top stairs in another por-tion of the house, and comes around) (\

enters from R. VAN from c. They all make <;

ferocious movement for BOB,) (BoB rises whenhe hears RALSTON, goes c. RALSTON L. c. DICK R.

VAN R. c.)RALSTON. Leave my house. I divorce you I

mean I dissolve you you are no longer my partner.

^^L I have seen some people want to win a hot,

but 'Jnfe never met your equal. ('VAN goes up c.)

(DiCK crosses to BOB,)DICK. To get an idea into his head you would

have to drill through four inches of solid rock.

Of course, if you want to quarrel with your bread

and butter, it's not my affair. But you talk too

much. (Crosses to R. VAN comes down R. ofBOB centre)VAN. You should listen twice as much as you

tanPT'hat's why you were given two ears and

only one mouth.RALSTON. That was the psychological moment

to have settled everything. Now, where are we?(BOB turns and looks at the clock, which is nowthree minutes to four) (3 to 4)

BOB. In the stretch.

RALSTON. Oh, in the stretch. (This line is un-

important, it is only used to allow GWEN to fill in

coming down the stairs. GWEN enters as BOB'S "mthe stretch." Comes to c. L. of BOB,)GWEN. I'm sorry to have to speak to you again,

NOTHING BUT TIIK TRIM 103

but I find that we have more charity money than weneed. Please return my ten thousand dollars.

Boa. I can't do that.

VAM. (Immediately sees a new avemte of escape)Ifl tBal vhatheRALSTON. (Gets the some idea) That's right.

go oi- ask him what he did with

thou- .ire. Goon, my child. I'm your father

if you love me, ask him what !

ten thousand dollars. (RALSTON looking at <

Now one minute and a half to four) (Clock l%to 4J

<:N. Tell me. Boh. what did you do with it ?

BOB. I can't t.

You not only can, but you must. (Clock

RALSTON. Tell her the truth, what did you dowith your ten thousand dollars?

YA^ Ask him again, he's got to t<

UWEN. Bob, tell me what did you do with myten thousand dol!

RALSTON. Answer her, answer her.

BOB. (To GWEN ) Do you really want to know?

BOB. (To And you want her to knowwhat I did with her ten thousand doll.v

_ n,,,v*/y) Yes.

HT (Turning and looking at clock up stage,and stalls :ond for time. The men are

all cognisant of tht fad and are trying to makehim speak) (To RALSTON ) And you want 1.

it I did with her ten thousand dollars?

RALSTON. Yes.

BOB. (Turning to Dit u want her

to know what I did with lu-r u-n thousand

Dn (DiCK doesn't allow him to finish)

BOB. (To GWENJ Well, if you really want to


know \vh.it I did with your ten thousand dollars

our father. (Clock one to four) (Turns to

father) (CLOCK i to 4)RALSTON. No, no, don't ask me, I don't know.BOB. Ask Van.

I don't know.Ask Dick.

DICK. I don't know anything about it.

GWEN. Bob, I insist that you tell me the truth.

RALSTON. No evasions.

GWEN. Bob, if you do not tell me what you did

with my money, I will break off our engagement.(Bos cornered at last)

BOB. (Anxiously) Do you mean that ?

GWEN. I do.

Tell her. (Clock strikes four) (Fourock strikes) (Everybody stands perfectly still.

BOB'S face breaks into a smile. He goes up andkisses and pats clock)

BOB. (Coming down to GWEN at c. left of her)Well, I won.VAN. Now that you've won, will you tell her

wflafyou did with your ten thousand?BOB. Yes.

(Quickly) Tell her.

No, you're too anxious. You might havebeen up to that clock again. (Goes over to

phone on piano) Hello, Central. Give me the

correct time, please, will you? (Pause) Are yousure? Please see that it is correct. Thank you.

(Hangs up receiver. Goes to GWEN, who is nowR. c.) It's all right, Gwen, I won your ten thou-

sand dollars.

GWEN. (Turning her back on him and talkingto DICK who is L. of table R. And VAN extremeR. RALSTON extreme Lj Thank you.

BOB. (Sees immediately that he has to lie to get

NOTHING BUT THE TRU 105

GWBN back, that the will not believe the truth)

Say, listen. Gwen, don't act like that. Whmt I said

about your father wasn't true. (Boa's first Ue. Athe spoke it, he pulls out his watch and turns half-

way and looks at clock to be sure it is four o'clock.

He is still afraid) (GwEN turns to BORJ Henever (Turning to RALSTON, whois seated by this time on the sett vou?No. You know, little

partner,tl nean

to call you a walrus. But at that minute I couldnot think of whale, f RALSTON gives BOB a dubious

look) And, Dick, you know what I said about

you? (Die* nods) You know I didn't mean that,

you? (Die* smiles) And, Van, you knowI said about you ? (VAN grunts "yes") Well.

I mean that. (Enter MRS. RALSTON down the steps

/(//,<;<<</ /'> I-' i in i. ,:: f/.v BttBOf lln RAL-STON comes c. ETHEL is left c. BOB is left of

( BISHOP goes over Rj Mrs. Ral-

ston, there has been terrible mistake here.

Your husband never met those girls. (Turns to

RALSTON, so ETHEL must be t above Bow)lie if he ever met those girls.

RALSTON. (Who has risen) Did I ever meetthose gi'

BOB. No, you never met those girls. (Turnsand sees ETHEL, smiles) Bo -hat a beauti-

ful hat? (CURTAIN) do me a

favor? (ETHEL is beaming. She smiles"

BOB is lying in beautiful form) Will yoi:

something for me? ("ETHEL nods ^OB leads

her up to the piano. As ETHEL sits, BOB is above

her, looking in her face. ETHEL sings "Just c.

Love, a little kiss" the same as Act I! on rise, but

only the chorus. On the word "a little kiss

turns and looks in BOB'S face. BOB looks up andstarts to applaud her. As he does so, GWEN sp^aH.


The moment GWEN speaks, ETHEL drops the ml-tim* of the song and is simply humming it so that

the audience can get the lines going on down stage)GWBN. Bob. (Bos crosses down to GWEN c.)

Tell me, what stock did you put my money on ?

BOB. CBoB turns, has Gwi arms, givesRALSTON a look, says) Steel. (Embrace)

Curtain

PROPERTY PLOT

ACT I

FURNITUREOne flat-top deskOne stenographer's desk with typewriterFouThree single ch

One stenographer's chair

One filing case

Ice cooler with bottle

Leath armchair an 1 table in entrance 1.

One bencho leather armchairs

One leather couch

SIDE PROPERTIESON DESK

Telephone on desk R. (Practical)rids

Letter basket

One book of stocks

One large check bookPensSmall calendar

New York newspaper (open at stock quoutions)

Letter opener107

lo8 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH

TelegramsSealed letters

Eight large envelopes

Check book VanPaper money Gwen. 10-1-1000

Paper money Bob. One dollar

Paper money Van. 10-1-1000

Cigars VanMatches Ralston

Cigarettes Mabel or Dick

Legal documents. Bill of Sales Dick

CheckPictures on the wall of following: Roosevelt,

Lincoln, Washington and Wilson. LargeWashington picture between windowsu. c., as it is symbolic with the play.

Stock ticker

Hat tree

Filing board with stock quotations hangs onwall D. L. below door.

ACTS II and III

FURNITUREMedium-size table R.

Two chairs either side of table R.

Console table against flat u. R.

Console table against flat L.

Settee left

Baby grand piano L.

Single chair R. of the stairwayTwo tall stands R. and L. of c. doorTable off R. entrance

Chair off L. entrance

Wicker table and two chairs out on the verandac.

N( i BUT 109

SHI: PHIIM-I:!:?

Two small lamps on stands t. and L. of doors c.

Pano lampLarge jar of summer flowers on console table

u. R.

Large jar of summer flowers on wicker table

D. R.

Five books in book- onsole table D. R.

Bronz< on console table o. R.

Sn -o on ta1

>ws different colors on the seat

that extends around stairway.

Magazines on table o

Magazines on i iblc c.

Telephone : .til console table R

Small silver picture on console table D. R.

ELECTRICAL PLOT

ACT II

Three sets of brackets not practical

ACT III

All light up fall

XHZDor

HLJ

31

fe

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MRS. BUM

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PS Montgomery, James

3525 Nothing but the truth

1920

nothing but the truth : a comedy in three acts...truth tcomxd acts j.v ontgo...

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