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Belle Savage

Nothing’s Sweeter

Than

Belle Savage

Wineblurb Press

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NOTHING SWEETER THAN WINE

Created and self-published by Belle Savage

PUBLISHING HISTORY

April 2015

Copyright © 2015 by Belle Savage

Cover Art by Belle Savage

All rights reserved.

This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced

in any form without permission.

Contact author for more possible wine reviews at:

bellesvg@gmail.com

WINEBLURB PRESS

Yarra Bend Road, Fairfield, Victoria, Australia, 3078

PUBLISHED IN VICTORIA, AUSTRALIA

This is a work of cheap wine reviews that was written by the author. All the wine included in this digital Ebook were produced and sold by ALDI Supermarkets.

CONTENTS

Block 129

Claire Creek

Grand Rayon

Elmfield

Little Birdwood

Precious Earth

South Point Estate

1

2

5

6

7

10

12

ISSUE 1

WHY ALDI SUPERMARKETS?

HOW TO DRINK WINE

I

II

III

ISSUE 1

Hello Wine Lovers,

Are you sick of being one of those people who can’t decide what wine to get someone for a dinner party or feeling miserable because you haven’t got enough money for a decent bottle to drink from while you relax at home?Don’t you want to be able to live the perfect life without the hassle of worrying or pondering what kind of wine you should buy from the liquor store, while having that hard choice of choosing either red or white?

Well, stop looking right now! Issue 1 of Nothing’s Sweeter than Wine, is about to save your day, or should I say, save a dollar or two!Nothing’s Sweeter than Wine, is a fine wine tasting online magazine that focuses on your survival needs amongst the various bottles that stores are selling. The magazine offers a quantity of good quality red or white wines whether they’re sweet, sparkling or dry from just under 5 dollars!

That’s right, why pay more money for the same taste and quality when you can just read this magazine and get a similar product for way under the price limit!

Haven’t you heard? Cheap booze is the new expensive booze, only better! And Nothing’s Sweeter than Wine will help you gain back your drinking enthusiasm as well as giving you the opportunities to save money.

We all know the world’s produce is getting too expensive and people are getting frustrated, especially with the lack of berries and grapes being sold (personal opinion).

That’s why this magazine exists, to be your very own cheap wine Yoda, to show you how the cheap way is the way to go. Featuring a very special tribute, from one of my favourite supermarkets, Aldi, to which I’ll be explaining in the next page.

Inside Nothing’s Sweeter than wine you will get:• A biography of the wine, what and where it was distributed• A flavour panel, which tells you how the wine tastes• How it affected the taster, Because you know, everyone wants to know if it’s worth buying• What food you should have with the wine, a very wise choice to consider when buying• A voting system made up of five wine glasses, as one should always stop at five glasses

Well, enjoy, read and drink along, and remember to drink responsibly.

Sincerely,Belle Savage.Professional Wine Cheapskate

I

WHY ALDI SUPERMARKETS?

Aldi is a supermarket that offers low-price shopping, which gives customers, local or not with quality products. Produce is usually fresh, and the alcohol is priced fairly.

I spend most of my time in Aldi, whether this is because I’m coming home from uni or for a quick stop over to buy a bottle of wine for $2.80 before I make my way to a party. This may not necessarily be a good idea as it could present me as a poor-pocket alcoholic, but I guess if you believe in the store, then why not show yourself off? Be risky, prove to the other supermarkets you don’t need them, that you found a supermarket that fits with your expectations.

I may be a little biased but I honestly recommend you to shop at Aldi, It’s a great place to be in because it has various collections of alcohol, offering not only a happy wallet but also a happy customer. So, why not help Aldi out and share its products with you? Surely you would like to see how their wines are rated, how they taste, how you could show it off to the rest of your family?

Be out and proud, walk or drive to Aldi, swing those trolleys around and then take a nice big sip of wine, I promise you it will be worth it. If not, at least you’ll know what suits or doesn’t suit you. Aldi is just another supermarket; it’s not for everyone and that’s okay.

II

HOW TO DRINK WINE

Professional wine tasters always take wine tasting as something serious where you have to walk through the vineyards within some remote country area and gaze at the grapevines amongst the picturesque scenery. With a clean wine glass in your hand, and a delicate swish of fermented grapes inside your mouth, you have to proceed to look like you’re appreciating the beauty of it.

Well, I say, the hell with that! Why make it so fancy when you’re out in the vineyards, when you could just drink the same wine, only cheaper, inside your own home, naked if need be, dancing to good old 90s Pop.

Sure, you can be a professional wine taster if that’s your desire, but, I’m going to show you how you can be less professional and still appreciate the flavour of said wine in a way that’s quirky, flirtatious or perhaps partaking in getting a little drunk.

The rules are as follows:

1. Look at the wine, like really look at it:Peer inside the glass, it doesn’t matter if it’s white or red. Put your nose right in just above the wine and sniff, depending on the flavour, if it starts burn your nostrils that’s when you know it’s good quality. After doing this, see if the colour changes, whites tend to be shaded around the colour of a transparent lemon and reds tend to look like oxygenless blood with water. Don’t worry about looking silly while you’re doing this, it’s best to make sure if its the right wine because you never know when someone might’ve switched the wine content with human piss.

2. Give the glass a big swish:No, really slop it all around the glass. By spreading it over the inside of the glass and all over your fingers as well the dining table it allows the wine to leave not only a stain but also an aroma, which will be able to guide you to what flavour it is: sweet, dry or champagney. The wine breathes this way.

3. Take a gulp. Swallow hard.If this makes you uncomfortable or you feel it’s too crass then try slurping really loudly, do this especially if you’re in a fancy restaurant, it’s bound to turn heads! Or you could do the other way and take a huge gulp. The gulping exposes the wine to all of your taste buds.

4. Feel the intensity of the wine running down your throat: On a scale of one to ten how intense is the burn, is it between a gasoline-like burn or a humble one with an metallic aftertaste? A good suggestion in order to notice this would be to pucker up your lips and kiss the nearest person you find - not your family though as that could get a little awkward. If you like the burn and the aftertaste, then start drinking wine lover and let the experience begin, but try to keep your kisses to yourself.

III

BRAND:

Block 129

BIO:A Cabernet Sauvignon produced from a vineyard at King Valley, Victoria, which is filled with only the best of dark plums and blackberries.

SIZE:

750ML

LOCATION:

South Eastern Australia

TYPE:Cabernet Sauvignon

VINTAGE:2014

ALCOHOL %:

13.9

FLAVOUR:

It’s like a dessert in your mouth; the wine juxtaposes between rich and sweet in a way that’s completely enticing. As the Cab Sauv runs smoothly down the back of your throat, you’ll be sure to feel the necessity of bringing it everywhere you go.

AFFECTS:Romantic thoughts of wanting to have it on the next date night. Happy conversations between friends and family.

FOOD SUGGESTION:• BBQ’d red meat to match the complexity of the sweet wine..

VOTE:

1

BRAND:

Claire Creek

BIO:Sparkling Moscato Rosa is a bubbly sensation filled with a delicate touch sweet berry fruits and a musky aroma that shows anyone the joys of wine making from South Eastern Australia. Made for a relaxing night at home while you watch a movie or two.

SIZE:

750ML

LOCATION:

South Eastern Australia

TYPE:

Sparkling Moscato

VINTAGE:

None

ALCOHOL %:

8

FLAVOUR:

Extremely cavity-causing, sweet, but in a way that’s soft and bubbly. A kind of sweet that reminds you of your teenage years, where everything is new and refreshing.

AFFECTS:Reminders of first loves and kisses for the first hour before becoming completely relaxed amongst the couch. A drink that’s best not to be drunk alone.

FOOD SUGGESTION:• Anything with berries.

• Chocolate

VOTE:

2

BRAND:

Claire Creek

BIO:Have you ever heard of a Chardonnay being fruit driven? Well, now you’re in luck, plucked from the white nectarines itself, this delicious wine will surely keep you on your toes.

SIZE:

750ML

LOCATION:

South Eastern Australia

TYPE:Chardonnay

VINTAGE:2013

ALCOHOL %:

13

FLAVOUR:

Oh it’s good, jam packed full of subtle flavour. So soft and subtle that it’s almost like drinking a pillow. A pillow made up of blended stone fruits.

AFFECTS:Lots and lots of smiles. Finally a cheap white wine that makes you feel rich inside. Leaves room for complex debates on politics and literature more fun. The wine also makes you plan ahead in life, like buying a boat for example.

FOOD SUGGESTION:• Lemon stewed chicken.

• Mixed bean salad

VOTE:

3

BRAND:

Claire Creek

BIO:This delicious Sparkling Moscato has hints of flavouring musk and pineapples blended in to make a refreshing wine that everyone will love.

SIZE:

750ML

LOCATION:

South Eastern Australia

TYPE:Sparkling Moscato

VINTAGE:None

ALCOHOL %:

8

FLAVOUR:

Tastes just like watered down pineapples and perfume that is surrounded by bubbles held together by a cork. If you pretend you’re drinking flavoured sparkling soda, then I’m sure there’s a way for you grow some sentimental taste buds for this wine.

AFFECTS:Woah, look out you might just be able to get tipsy off it if you scull the wine quick enough. Warning may cause sarcastic remarks, not relaxation.

FOOD SUGGESTION:

• A plater filled with assorted fruit.

VOTE:

4

BRAND:

Grand Rayon

BIO:A Sparkling White wine from South Eastern Australia that beholds generous amounts of bubbles and citrus fruit. Made for sharing with friends or family while surrounded by sea and hot sand. A kind of weather that makes you sweat.

SIZE:

750ML

LOCATION:

South Eastern Australia

TYPE:

Sparkling White

VINTAGE:

None

ALCOHOL %:

11

FLAVOUR:

A sweet fruity blend of apples and lemon, which sends your mouth on a bubbly ride to somewhere close to the beach. Most likely a place full of tropical weather.

AFFECTS:Giggling and unnecessary flirtation to which you’ll be a vomiting embarrassment because of the overdone artificial sweetness.

FOOD SUGGESTION:• Cheese and crackers.• Strawberries and icecream

• A plater of various fruit

VOTE:

5

BRAND:Elmfield

BIO:The Cabernet Merlot is an ideal entertainment for those who are enjoying a night out in town. The wine composes lightly amongst company with a soft breeze that flows through the ends of their hair while they take a sip of this rich wine.

SIZE:

750ML

LOCATION:

South Eastern Australia

TYPE:Cabernet Merlot

VINTAGE:2013

ALCOHOL %:

13.5

FLAVOUR:

A spiced dry red that’s full of dark plum and black cherry flavour, sending a very forward dive into the back of your throat. The Merlot is a reminder that breathing can be a struggle.

AFFECTS:Quick drunken behaviour after a glass as well as a warming magnetism, which would be welcomed in winter.

FOOD SUGGESTION:

• Lean beef stir fry with added kale.

VOTE:

6

BRAND:

Little Birdwood

BIO:This dry red combines the flavours of blackberries, plums and mulberries into a spicy mix of three wines in one bottle. With a calcolation of an intense structure, one must know that this wine should always be up for grabs.

SIZE:

750ML

LOCATION:

South Eastern Australia

TYPE:Cabernet Shiraz Merlot

VINTAGE:2014

ALCOHOL %:

13.5

FLAVOUR:It’s bold, it’s delightfully berry, what more can you add? It’s one of the most popular wines sold at Aldi. A must have for the dinner table.

AFFECTS:OTT loudness when talking to someone who’s beside you, causing them to block their ears.

FOOD SUGGESTION:• Roast pork and vegetables.

• Rice Salad with the beans unnecessarily picked out.

VOTE:

7

BRAND:

Little Birdwood

BIO:A unique merge of Shiraz and various dark red berries that are declaring vibrancy and charm to prove to you that this is some good quality wine.

SIZE:

750ML

LOCATION:

South Eastern Australia

TYPE:Sweet Shiraz

VINTAGE:2014

ALCOHOL %:

11.5

FLAVOUR:Who knew sweet red wine could be so delicious? With a cheeky bubbly sensation dancing upon your tongue the wine certainly makes room for any kind of event joyful. No wonder it’s popular within the supermarket, It’s a cherry explosion!

AFFECTS:Just pure happiness and maybe a few good laughs along the way.

FOOD SUGGESTION:• Spaghetti Bolongnese.

• Low-fat Beef stirfry.

VOTE:

8

BRAND:

Little Birdwood

BIO:Combining the nature of Semillon with the lemony essence of Sauvignon Blanc inside a bottle fuelled with a conservative attitude that is not only a crowd pleasure amongst the wine critics but also to those who need something to bring to a dinner party.

SIZE:

750ML

LOCATION:

South Eastern Australia

TYPE:Semillon Sauvignon Blanc

VINTAGE:2014

ALCOHOL %:

11.5

FLAVOUR:To be honest, it tastes like a passion fruit car air refresher. At least you know it’s clean.

AFFECTS:You know when you try wine and it’s supposed to taste like a warm heart on a sunny day? Well, be prepared to have that tarnished. Be prepared to stand over the sink trying not vomit your dinner out.

FOOD SUGGESTION:• Seafood or chicken is best.

• Pad Thai noodle salad.

VOTE:

9

BRAND:

Precious Earth

BIO:The best under-rated wine anyone could possibly have in their entire lifetime. South Eastern grapes were carefully selected within Australia to showcase their dark plum and cherry flavours.

SIZE:

750ML

LOCATION:

South Eastern Australia

TYPE:Shiraz Merlot

VINTAGE:2014

ALCOHOL %:

13

FLAVOUR:It’s naughty and nice; it’s soft and dark; it’s exciting and inexpensive. It’s the virgin girl wrapped around the evil serpent. Precious Earth is berry natural holding all these flavours in one bottle.

AFFECTS:Drunken Selfies and desires to play Kings Cup four times in a row.

FOOD SUGGESTION:

• A $5 pepperoni Pizza eaten only by you.

VOTE:

10

BRAND:

Precious Earth

BIO:Semillon Chardonnay Chenin mixed carefully with grapes from the vines of South Eastern Australia. Perfect for an summery outdoor setting. Once opened you better drink it quickly before the fruit flies get it.

SIZE:

750ML

LOCATION:

South Eastern Australia

TYPE:Semillon Chardonnay Chenin

VINTAGE:2014

ALCOHOL %:

12.5

FLAVOUR:

A soft and subtle dry white with hint of watery green grapes burning sensationally within your throat, reminding you of a hot summer night surrounded by harsh sea wind.

AFFECTS:Confusion of asking where the peach flavour is and early signs of fuzzy brain after 1 glass.

FOOD SUGGESTION:• Bbq chicken preferably as its easier to cook.

• Sweet and Sour Chives rice crackers

VOTE:

11

BRAND:South Point Estate

BIO:Pink Moscato is a sherbet flavoured wine styled to appear in the colour of Turkish delight. It’s fizzy, it’s simple, it’s definitely a must have when you’re first experiencing the pleasures of wine.

SIZE:

750ML

LOCATION:

South Eastern Australia

TYPE:Moscato

VINTAGE:2013

ALCOHOL %:

6

FLAVOUR:I was expecting a little more pizzazz when tasting this delightfully pink Moscato, but all it felt like was drinking flat strawberry soda water. Best to serve it cold for a better experience.

AFFECTS:The “why worth drinking if it’s only 6% alcohol?” puzzlement. A little disappointment here in the taste department but the wine was a pretty colour so that’s happiness, right?

FOOD SUGGESTION:• A variety of cooked breakfast meals - eggs, bacon, french toast, etc.

VOTE:

12

BRAND:

South Point Estate

BIO:This Moscato is a sherbet flavoured wine styled to appear in the colour of assorted citrus fruit. Just like the Pink Moscato, it’s fizzy, it’s simple, and definitely a must have for when you’re first experiencing the pleasures of wine.

SIZE:

750ML

LOCATION:

South Eastern Australia

TYPE:Moscato

VINTAGE:2014

ALCOHOL %:

6

FLAVOUR:

An exciting sweet white tasting just like freshly cut pineapples as well as having a pinch of musk to it just to make the wine seem almost fairy-like. Best served cold and topped way of the legal limit.

AFFECTS:Unnecessary dancing on the kitchen table.

Unladylike manners.

FOOD SUGGESTION:

• A bowl of canned pineapples.

VOTE:

13

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

All images of assorted wine bottles belong to Aldi Supermarkets and can be found at:http://aldiliquor.com.au

Cover image found at: twitswineclub.blogspot.com.au

I do not own any images used, all copyright belongs to the URLs stated up above. Thankyou.

THANKS FOR READING!

IF YOU WISH TO SEE MORE WINE REVIEWS PLEASE CONTACT BELLE SAVAGE:

bellesvg@gmail.com

If you’re feeling depressed or thinking suicidal thoughts always remember that drinking alcohol is never the best option, if you’re in need of help call:

Lifeline Australia - 13 11 14 - 24/7 crisis supportNational Alcohol Anonymous Helpline - 1300 22 22 22

Poor-pocket change? Troubling wine decisions? Sick of being called a borderline alcoholic?Well, Nothing’s Sweeter Than Wine is here to help. Your own personal wine Yoda to lead you into the cheapskate life!

Learn how to professionally taste low-priced wine under a drunken, quirky attitude. See what Aldi Supermarkets have to offer within their wine display units. Discover the feeling of what their wine does to you and what food you should eat with it.

Priced for only under five dollars, Nothing’s Sweeter Than Wine gives you all the experience you need to help you get rid of those disasterous wine struggles.