YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM COSTUMES (P. 9)

GOVERNMENT TO OFFER FREE TEXTBOOKS (P. 3)

AN INTERVIEW WITH JANE GOODALL (P. 10)

A CANADIAN HEARTS MITT ROMNEY (P. 19)

for peat's sakeTRYING TO EMBRACE SCOTCH(P. 13)

THE UNIVERSITY OF VICTORIA’S INDEPENDENT NEWSPAPERNOVEMBER 1, 2012 • VOLUME 65 • ISSUE 13 • MARTLET.CA

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What's the most you've ever spent on a textbook? How much is too much? Email letters@martlet.ca.NEWS: provincial

November 1, 2012 MARTLET • NEWS 3

> MICKI COWAN — CUP B.C. BUREAU CHIEF WITH UPDATES BY VANESSA ANNAND

VANCOUVER (CUP) — Picketing and strikes are still under way for union locals at B.C. universities, but several agreements have been reached.

Labour action began last month at the Univer-sity of British Columbia, Simon Fraser University, Thompson Rivers University, the University of Victoria, the University of Northern B.C. and Royal Roads University. Some workers have been with-out an agreement for two years.

At UVic, the Professional Employees Association (PEA) union has reached a tentative two-year agreement that will see a wage increase of two per cent, retroactive to July 1, 2012, and a further two per cent on July 1, 2013. Ballots have been sent out for union members to accept or reject the deal; the ballots will be counted on Nov. 15.

CUPE 4879, which represents support work-ers at Thompson Rivers University (TRU), also reached a tentative four-year agreement on Oct. 23, with no wage increases for the first two years and two per cent increases in each of the final two years of the agreement.

Late on Oct. 23, CUPE 3799, representing support staff at the University of Northern Brit-ish Columbia, reached a tentative agreement nearly identical to the one at TRU.

And at UBC, members of CUPE 2950, rep-resenting clerical, library and hospital staff, reached an agreement this week as well, ac-cording to CUPE bargaining co-chair Lois Rugg. Members have agreed to no wage increases from 2011–2012 and a two per cent increase in both 2013 and 2014.

As of Oct. 21, CUPE 116, representing security and service workers at UBC, reached a tentative agreement with the university.

CUPE 116 has returned to work. Details on that agreement have not yet been released. Teach-ing assistants at UBC (CUPE 2278), however, began job action at 3 p.m. on Oct. 29.

At Royal Roads, CUPE 3886 (representing gardeners, trades people, maintenance and custodial workers) reached a tentative agree-ment with the university on Oct. 29. If they ratify the agreement, the workers will see two per cent wage increases in the latter two years of the four-year deal, as well as stronger anti-harassment and anti-discrimination measures.

Strikes are ramping up at SFU to include the downtown campus. Negotiations with unions at SFU are on hold.

“SFU has refused to come to the bargaining table and strike action will heat up at their various locations,” said Rugg in an email.

Three other unions at UVic are still negotiat-ing with the university, including teaching

assistants of CUPE 4163, the support staff of 917 and the office, technical and childcare staff of 951, according to UVic media relations manager Denise Helm.

Helm said no further information is available due to a media blackout.

In addition to the strikes at various uni-versities, the Vancouver Community College Employees Union (CUPE 4627) put the college behind picket lines on Oct. 30, saying the issue was the government, not the employer.

Christy Clark announced on Oct. 17 she would be launching consultations to improve the bargaining process for primary and sec-ondary education teachers. The Ministry of Advanced Education was asked if they would be reviewing their union bargaining process as well considering the high number of negotia-tions going on, but did not respond before press time.

> JAMIE COOK

The B.C. government has announced a plan to offer free, online textbooks to university students across the province beginning as early as next year. The province will be the first in Canada to introduce this measure. The program, detailed in a provincial government media release, will offer texts for the “40 most popular post-secondary courses,” which will most likely include introductory courses in the sciences, social sciences and humanities.

The textbooks will not be online versions of already-existing textbooks; rather, they will be new textbooks created with input from univer-sity faculty, institutions and publishers. These online textbooks, known as “open textbooks,” will be available for download and online view-ing, as well as for printing at a cost significantly less than the cost of traditional textbooks. The open textbook program will be facilitated by BCcampus, a publicly funded organization that provides online student services to post-second-ary students in B.C.

B.C. Minister of Environment Terry Lake pointed out in the release that, in addition to saving students money, “Open textbooks are an innovative way to support B.C.’s green initia-tives while lowering our carbon footprint.”

The B.C. government estimated in its media release that students currently spend between $900–$1 500 per year on textbooks and that

the open textbook program could reduce this to approximately $300 (in the case of students opting for printed open textbooks). These open textbooks will also be easier for instructors or publishers to update and modify than tradi-tional textbooks. The open textbook program is expected to provide textbook access to a larger number of students.

Penny Draper, textbook manager of the UVic Bookstore says ensuring “authors are in some way compensated for the work that goes into creating this material,” as well as “quality in the materials” are some of her main considerations when looking at the new program.

“The current textbook system we have with printed books has quite an established peer re-view system,” says Draper, “so we need to make sure that’s filtered to this new program.” When asked whether the UVic Bookstore had sufficient facilities and resources to allow a large number of students to print their textbooks, Draper says, “It may be an issue.”

The program is modelled after a similar initia-tive in California, where the state passed two bills earlier in September of this year allowing for the creation of free digital textbooks for around 50 of the most popular post-secondary courses in the state. Open textbook initiatives are a part of a wider movement known as Open Education Resources (OER), which seeks to uti-lize the internet in innovative ways to improve and enhance education.

B.C. government to offer free textbooks for popular courses

Strike risk cools for some as several B.C. university unions reach agreements

MATT MEUSE/THE UBYSSEY

HUGO WONG

NEWS: campus Have you lived in residence? Have you ever wanted to but learned there wasn't a bed for you?

Tell us about it at letters@martlet.ca.

4 NEWS • MARTLET November 1, 2012

250.595.6044

> JOSHUA ZAPF

Earlier this year, UVic’s Five-year Capital Plan came out. The plan outlines the university’s recent physical changes, including upgrades to six of its oldest buildings and a nod to one of its biggest priority projects: CARSA (Centre for Athletics, Recreation and Special Abilities).

Also noteworthy in the Five-year Capital Plan is priority number two —– student housing expan-sion and renewal. One of the main goals of this expansion is to “develop a plan for residential graduate and undergraduate student housing that maintains our first-year residence guarantee, gives priority to returning co-op, study-abroad and international students and contemplates a doubling of our current on-campus capacity..”

But, as with CARSA, this expansion project is laden with difficulties.

Currently, as part of a recruitment prerogative, any first-year student who applies to UVic before June 30 is guaranteed a spot in residence. After that, the remaining beds are given out to return-ing students through a lottery system as there are not enough beds to go around.

At present, funding seems to be what is holding UVic back from expanding its already burgeoning residences.

The planned development would provide an additional 500–800 beds and is estimated to cost anywhere from $75 million to $120 million. The Five-year Capital Plan also states that “this does not include any required infrastructure costs, which could range from $5 000 000 to $10 000 000.”

“University residences must be self-funded,” says Joel Lynn, executive director of student ser-vices. “From the construction period to operating

the buildings throughout their life spans, all costs associated with residences must be covered by the fees you collect.”

During a UVic Senate meeting on Oct. 5, UVic President David Turpin explained that, because of the way that the university is accounted for under the provincial govern-ment’s reporting entity, any borrowing the school does adds to the government debt, so the provincial government won’t let UVic borrow money to build the new residences, even though student residence fees would pay the money back. UVic is looking to get those accounting characteristics changed.

“The ability for the university to carry debt is a provincial decision,” Lynn says. “Right now, we are unable to carry [as] the university’s debt rolls up onto the province’s books.” This restriction makes it difficult to move forward.

Beyond the monetary restrictions, UVic is also governed by municipal building regulations. Requirements include a business plan, thorough knowledge of the building’s lifespan and compli-ance to a certain structural style.

Despite the obstacles, the university has started looking to expand. There are plans for a substan-tial market study in the near future, but there are still lots of important questions to answer before moving forward.

The recent addition of 106 beds, as a result of UVic’s last capital plan, has done little to stem the demand for on-campus residences. With last year’s Facility Condition Assessment out of the way and a market analysis report completed as of this year, the university is assessing potential locations for expansion.

Lynn says, “The exact on-campus location for new residences has yet to be determined.”

UVic wants to meet demand for more residence beds

Renovations to UVic's Queenswood property are part of UVic's Five-year Capital Plan. The estimated budget is $5 million – $9 million for rezoning and code compliance.

HUGO WONG

NEWS: local

November 1, 2012 MARTLET • NEWS 5

> VANESSA HAWK

Paul Summerville was acclaimed on Oct.13 as the Liberal candidate for the Victoria by-election that will fill the vacant Member of Parliament (MP) seat in Ottawa. NDP representative Denise Savoie left the Victoria MP seat when she resigned on account of health issues in August. Harper called the by-election to be held Nov. 26 in conjunction with those in the Calgary-Centre, AB, and Durham, ON, ridings.

Summerville is an adjunct professor at the Gustavson School of Business at UVic and the former chief economist for RBC Capital. He will compete against three other candidates with UVic ties: NDP candidate Murray Rankin co-chairs UVic’s student-run environmental law centre and is an expert in environmental and aboriginal law; Dale Gann is the president of the UVic enterprise Vancouver Island Technology Park and represents the Conservative party; and UVic professor of law Donald Galloway hopes to win a second seat for the Green party.

Since earning a PhD from the University of Tokyo in 1988, Summerville has worked for sev-eral prominent financial firms as an investment banker and appeared as an economic expert or spokesman on various global news channels. He is in charge of content on the blog Canada’s Excellent Future, which draws attention and dis-cussion to important public policy issues. Early this year, he ran for the position of National Policy Chair for the Liberals and was defeated by a margin of seven votes.

Summerville was first involved in politics with the NDP beginning in 2004 when he returned to Canada from Japan. He was active in the party, running for Parliament as a favoured candidate

in central Toronto in 2006, but found his views on taxation, social justice and the role of the market economy were better aligned with Bob Rae’s Liberal platform. Summerville says he still holds great respect for the late Jack Layton.

Rae and Summerville emphasize the im-portance of a strong market economy that is balanced by fair government that offers robust social justice.

“I’m a product of the country where there was equality under the law, where there was the sci-ence of good health and where education wasn’t seen as a personal investment but as a societal investment,” says Summerville. “That’s the Canada I want, and that’s why I’m running.”

This three-pillar approach is the framework on which the rest of Summerville’s policy positions rest. Calling himself “radically progressive,” Summerville supports policy that he believes is environmentally and economically responsible. His efforts in Victoria are aimed at blocking the proposed $800-million Core Area Wastewater Treatment Program from being implemented in the Capital Regional District (CRD) because he says there has yet to be a study showing net environmental benefit; he instead favours investments in public transit infrastructure and rehabilitation of the city’s storm sewer system.

“I call it the billion-dollar boondoggle. The secondary sewage treatment plant is going to block a number of investments that would make Victoria a model 21st-century city for people to live, work and play and raise their families. If we make the mistake of letting that go ahead, then Victoria’s future is really harmed.”

Summerville also supports a federal carbon tax, legalization of marijuana (followed by com-mercialization and taxation, so that marijuana

income doesn’t subsidize criminal activity), a national childcare plan that looks at ways parents can stay home if needed (not just an extension of schools) and a publicly funded and privately delivered healthcare system. He is also in favour of more grants for post-secondary education and lower tuition, particularly for first- and second-year students.

Summerville likens his more controversial initiatives to past policy changes that seemed extreme at the time but are acceptable today, such as legal access to birth control, divorce and

gay marriage. Summerville is quick to invite students to

engage in politics, referring back to his three-prong frame of advancements in healthcare, education and a strong-but-regulated market economy. “For every person under the age of 25 that votes, five over the age of 65 vote. So why do you think we have the changing view of education that we do, as our population ages? Students need to get involved in politics because it’s going to frame their lives in ways that are invisible.”

Adjunct business professor to represent LiberalsUVic’s Paul Summerville joins race for Victoria MP candidacy

> TIA LOW

Victoria Mayor Dean Fortin put the spotlight on education during his 10-day delegation to China this month.

After a similar delegation trip in 2010, the mayor visited China again on Oct. 20 to create opportunities for Victoria’s education, tour-ism and high tech sectors. Joining him were 25 delegates — representatives from the city, UVic, Royal Roads University, Camosun College, the Greater Victoria Development

Agency, the B.C. International Trade and Investment Office and others.

The high-tech industry is Victoria’s largest, bringing in $2.65 billion a year, with tourism coming second at $1.9 billion annually.

Explaining the reason for this trip’s focus on education, Fortin says, “It’s an opportunity to attract international students,” who he esti-mates contribute $1 million per month to our local economy.

Seventy-seven per cent of UVic students come from away, whether that is up-island,

somewhere else in B.C. or other countries. According to UVic, more than 1 600 interna-tional students from 100 countries choose UVic every year.

“Victoria is a tourist town, a government town. I think sometimes people forget it’s a university town,” Fortin says. He adds that it is “important . . . to maintain the infrastructure to help univer-sities succeed and hopefully not raise tuitions.”

During the delegation to China two years ago, Fortin signed an agreement with the city of Changsha to promote education, science and technology, tourism and trade between the two cities.

That same agreement included a partnership between UVic and two universities based in Changsha (a memorandum of understanding with Hunan University and a letter of intent with Changsha University) to mutually promote each other’s business school’s executive pro-grams. So far, UVic has hosted two groups of MBA students from Hunan University.

This year, Saul Klein, the Dean of UVic’s busi-ness school, worked on deepening this partner-ship to include degree and non-degree programs.

“I had a very productive meeting with the dean of the business school at Hunan Univer-sity and his senior team,” says Klein, who also visited partner schools in Shanghai, Beijing and Guangzhou.

When encouraging investment in Victoria, For-tin says the West Coast lifestyle is an important part of the city’s brand.

“Specifically in Changsha, lots of university students and young people are involved in really expanding the economy. They’re very interested in ‘how do we get microbreweries,’ ‘how do we develop local markets and organic food’ — all

that West Coast lifestyle that’s now perceived as good for you as an individual but also im-portant for your economy to attract people,” explains Fortin.

Victoria’s discussions in China about tourism will also trickle benefits into education, says Fortin.

“We often say everyone begins as a tourist in Victoria and will end up as a student, investor or resident,” he says.

Dallas Gislason, economic development officer of the Greater Victoria Development Agency, says the long-term implications of being an education destination include having an alumni network around the world.

“It puts Victoria on the map internationally and gives us a solid network that will pay off for decades as young people are educated . . . in Vic-toria, then go off to Singapore . . . and all these other cities around the world,” says Gislason.

Fortin says it’s important to have local contacts in China to work with.

“It helps you get in the market [in China], and it helps you to get through the government regu-lations. Those opportunities for joint ventures and partnerships are extremely important for those local firms [in Victoria] that want to develop markets and sell products and ideas in China,” says Fortin.

When asked about his thoughts on Prime Minister Stephen Harper’s controversial Canada-China Foreign Investment Promotion and Protection Act — which will give China significant power over our country’s politics and natural resources — Fortin says Victoria’s focus is on supporting local businesses.

“It’s where our economy’s future is. We’re on the ground to help the little guys, and we see that as our role in Victoria,” he says.

A West Coast approach to relations with ChinaVictoria Mayor Dean Fortin focuses on education during trip to the East

Mayor Dean Fortin, along with representatives from UVic and other institutions, recently went on a 10-day trade trip to China.

PROVIDED

PROVIDED

Are trade delegations worthwhile? Do they actually increase trade, or are they vacations in disguise?

Email opinions@martlet.ca if you'd like to write about it.

SPORTS & LIFESTYLE Check out Eco Tip #3 in our Business and Technology section next week! (Hint: it will help you prepare for the holidays.)

6 SPORTS & LIFESTYLE • MARTLET November 1, 2012

> ELLA WEATHERILT

A few weeks ago, I wrote an article on the perks of being in a steady relationship. I don’t dis-count anything I said, but it’s against my better judgment to give one side of a point and pay no mind to the other. ’Cause let’s be serious here, folks: being single is awesome.

Yes, it can get lonely, and yes, sometimes you just want someone to cuddle you and tell you how attractive you are (regardless of whether or not you currently look like shit). Most of all, sometimes you want to be able to act like a crazy person under the guarantee of uncondi-tional love.

But sometimes you just want to be able to fart without shame.

And that, folks, is just one of the many glori-ous (and often somewhat disgusting) reasons why flying solo is the bomb. Most of those reasons generally pertain to being as selfish as Scrooge McDuck (if Scrooge was a mid-twenty-something who hadn’t showered in three days, reeked of gin and was diving into a pit of simi-larly drunk, screwable singles instead of gold).

I’m talking impromptu vacation-taking, irresponsible spending, possible drinking problem-type selfishness here, people. Doing whatever you want, whenever you want with no judgment (from anybody you intimately care about, that is).

If you’re selfish enough, you can eventually reach that glorious upper echelon of singleness where you are so comfortable with yourself

that you can simultaneously eat a meatball sub (a member of the unattractive food group), be drunk before noon and text a booty call to someone without any thought of disease or other possible consequence. That, my friends, may just be more beautiful than the Mona Lisa, because — let’s face it — you have to really love yourself to be OK with that image.

Nobody learns to love themselves in a rela-tionship. There’s a giant flock of monogamous geese out there that will screech and try to tell you otherwise. But they’re wrong; if you are in a committed arrangement, you are most likely way too concerned with loving somebody else to love yourself. Yes, you do learn valuable lessons from relationships, but you probably only come face to face with them after the relationship is over. And God help you if you’re in a relation-ship and aren’t cool with yourself. Spoiler alert: it isn’t going to end well.

Only in the hygiene-disregarding, regretfully tattooed and gloriously hungover incarnation of singledom can one really understand who they are and what they want out of life — including their requirements for a fruitful relationship.

See what I did there? Wrapped it around and made it a life lesson. And here you thought The Student Bawdy was all dick jokes.

That being said, there’s also the chance you’ll discover you never want to let go of your orgas-mic self-indulgence. You may vow to be single for the rest of your life. Either way, here’s to finding yourself and all the questionable stains that it brings.

THE STUDENT BAWDY

Finding yourself in a pair of sweatpantsFlying solo: the relationship

equivalent to owning a dishwasher

> TIA LOW

The gluten-free bandwagon might be tipping over. Originally a strict diet for those with celiac disease, a gluten-free lifestyle is now being ad-opted by people for reasons ranging from gluten sensitivity to weight loss.

Gluten is a protein found in wheat and related grain products such as barley and rye. According to Health Canada, one per cent of the population suffers from a genetic condi-tion that causes the immune system to react negatively to gluten, damaging the small intestines and compromising their ability to absorb nutrients. The only cure for this condi-tion, known as celiac disease, is to stop eating gluten completely.

“We only need a crumb to make us sick,” says Ellen Bayens, who runs a website called theceliacscene.ca, a directory of celiac-friendly restaurants across Canada. “There’s a lot of damage that can be done microscopically.”

Celiac disease is associated with conditions like type 1 diabetes, Down syndrome, thyroid-itis, arthritis, ataxia, depression and neuropa-thy. Other long-term complications include osteoporosis, lymphoma and infertility. The Canadian Celiac Association says high instances of these issues are found in people with celiac disease compared to the general population.

“It’s called a chameleon disease — it takes on

many forms,” says Bayens, who adds that the vast majority of sufferers remain undiagnosed.

Celiac symptoms vary among individuals, making it hard to diagnose. Symptoms may include gastrointestinal issues, weight loss, bone pain, extreme fatigue, mouth ulcers and skin rashes. In children, symptoms may also include teething defects or developmental delays.

After experiencing low energy and frequent stomach aches, UVic student Allie Short cut out gluten from her diet for two years before confirming her celiac status through a blood test this summer.

“I’m still kind of easing my way into it. It’s re-ally difficult,” says Short of the strict diet. “It’s a lot more expensive, mainly, and it’s challenging just to get snacks on campus or to grab some-thing quick to eat.”

Victoria resident Ashley O’Neill discovered her sensitivity to gluten after digestive issues prompted her to get evaluated by a naturopathic doctor. A person is considered sensitive or intolerant to gluten if they notice symptoms but do not test positive for the specific antibodies present in celiac patients, which was the case for O’Neill.

Like Short, O’Neill found it challenging to go out to eat.

“I found when I was going out to eat with friends, it was something I tried to avoid, because I didn’t want to be the girl who can’t eat

this, can’t eat that. My friends wouldn’t put pres-sure on me, but I put pressure on myself,” says O’Neill of her initial diet transition.

There is limited research on gluten sensitivity, as there is no clear diagnostic test available, ac-cording to the Canadian Celiac Association.

Both Short and O’Neill notice a growing trend of going gluten-free to lose weight.

Says Short, “Whenever I mention that I don’t eat gluten, people tell me, ‘Oh, I did that for a few weeks and lost so much weight.’ ”

Shelley Case, a dietitian and author on gluten-free nutrition, says, “There’s nothing magical about wheat and weight gain. Cutting out those high-calorie foods containing gluten may be why people are losing weight.”

Conversely, Case says she has seen many people gain weight on the gluten-free diet be-

cause of the higher sugar, fat and starch content in some gluten-free products.

Victoria is the friendliest place in Canada for people on gluten-free diets, says Bayens, who notes restaurants like Santé Gluten Free Café, The Olive Grove Restaurant and Old British Fish and Chips, grocery stores like Lifestyle Markets, and the popular Origin Bakery all cater to gluten-free diets. Origin Bakery co-owner Marion Neuhauser says some of their customers are those who want to just “feel better” by avoid-ing gluten.

People need to get tested for celiac disease be-fore going gluten-free to avoid a false negative, suggests Health Canada. Bayens says this also avoids “the gluten challenge” — the intensifica-tion of symptoms that can occur when gluten is reintroduced after a period of avoiding it.

Going gluten-free for goodGluten-free diets trending in Victoria, but

for some, avoiding gluten is necessary

Many people have sworn off gluten, whether they are allergic or not. HUGO WONG

REBECCA COMEAU

> ALEX KURIAL

The biennial exhibition Guy Vetrie Memorial Tournament took place from Oct. 19–21 this year, honouring one of UVic’s most celebrated coaches of all time.

Guy Vetrie coached the men’s basketball team from 1989 to 2003, when he passed away at just 52 years old. During that time, Vetrie guided the Vikes to victory in the 1997 Canadian Interuni-versity Sport (CIS) National Championship. This gave UVic its eighth national championship, the most of any Canadian university at the time. Vetrie was also recognized for his outstand-ing efforts with six Canada West Coach of the Year awards.

This year saw a four-team pool consisting of the UVic Vikes, Lethbridge Pronghorns, Alberta Golden Bears (2012 Canada West Champions and CIS runners-up) and Carleton Ravens (2012 Ontario University Champions and CIS Champions). The Ravens have dominated men’s basketball in Canada recently, going 22–0 last season and winning the majority of CIS Champi-onships in the last 10 years. Facing a talented set of teams, the Vikes had a great opportunity to line up against the best in the nation.

The Vikes opened the tourney on Friday night against Lethbridge in the McKinnon Gym. UVic was able to take advantage of first-half foul troubles that plagued Lethbridge. The Vikes opened up a 37–28 lead at the half, capped off by a bucket and a foul shot by Vike Reiner Theil in the final minute of the first half.

The second half was a different story, though, as the Pronghorns battled back to trail just 54–53 after three quarters, and then took the lead in the fourth quarter. Lethbridge led by as much as seven, but the Vikes fought back and saw Chris McLaughlin hit late back-to-back threes to tie and take the lead, followed by a Brin Taylor triple to ensure the comeback. The Vikes held on, winning 80–73. McLaughlin shot five for six and had a team high of 17 points.

“We picked up our energy level a lot,” said Vikes forward Ted Neilson of the fourth-quarter comeback. “Those threes at the end . . . got us a spark that kind of just rolled us at the end of the game for the win.”

Vike Terrell Evans explained that few adjust-ments were necessary after Lethbridge had gotten back into the game. “We just had to bring more energy that we had in the first half and transfer it over to the second half. We just buckled down and got the win.”

Saturday saw the Vikes taking on Carleton, and as expected, they had a difficult time with the defending national champions. Carleton allowed UVic just four points in the second quarter, and was firmly in control (57–23) at the half. The Vikes would outscore Carleton in the second half, but it was not enough to overcome the Ravens’ dominant first half, as Carleton

would go on to win 87–63. The Ravens’ Nation-als MVP, Philip Scrubb, put up a game high 25 points on 7-for-11 shooting.

The Vikes’ final game came on Sunday against Alberta. It looked as though Alberta might run away with the game early on, jumping out to an early 11–3 lead. But the Vikes would then go on a 13–0 run and lead 19–15 after the first quarter. The Vikes maintained their four point lead at the half and led 56–51 after three, but as they did in their game against Lethbridge, the Vikes let the lead slip away in the fourth. Again, UVic battled back, though, tying the game at 66 before Evans put the Vikes ahead for good with a late jumpshot. The Vikes would hit their foul shots and take the game 75–70. Michael Acheampong led the way for the Vikes with 20 points.

“It was a collective team effort; we played offence pretty well,” said guard Vijay Dhillon on the win. “We stopped [Jordan] Baker, their main guy, we got him fouled out . . . and we hit our free throws.”

The win over Alberta provided UVic with a successful second place close to the tournament and proved the Vikes will be competitive against the best of Canada West in the upcoming sea-son. Theil is optimistic about the season after UVic’s strong performance.

“It was four pretty good teams, so we’re definitely up there with the top teams in the country. We just gotta keep practicing hard and hopefully get some more good results.”

The Vikes will start their quest for the CIS Championships on Nov. 2 against the UBC-Okanagan Heat at 8 p.m. before playing the Heat again Nov. 3 at 7 p.m. at McKinnon Gym.

November 1, 2012 MARTLET • SPORTS & LIFESTYLE 7

250-381-5033

VICTORIAFLEAMARKET.COM

SUNDAYS 9am-2pm195 bay st.

> KEVIN UNDERHILL

For centuries, athletes have dedicated their lives to sports training. What many people don’t realize is that this includes their mental game as well. Legendary baseball player Yogi Berra once said, “Baseball is 90 per cent mental, and the other half is physical.” Superstitions, traditions and rituals have worked their way into sports and show no signs of stopping.

From titanium lace necklaces and pump-up tunes to tattoos and pre-game snacks, athletes all around the world adhere to all kinds of weird pre-game routines. These rituals have evolved over time and can be specific to certain sports, teams or players.

Many Major League Baseball pitchers refuse to touch the baseline on their way to and from the dugout. No one really knows why, though some think it stems from a respect for the pristine quality of the lines before the game begins.

A perfect example of a sport ritual is the playoff beard. From late April to June, the sports channels feature more goatees, chops and moustaches than you see during lumber-jack week.

Some hockey players tape their sticks the same way every game or put their skates on before their shin pads, but they certainly don’t say the word “shutout” during a shutout.

Despite their tough exteriors, most athletes are very fickle individuals. From a young age, athletes find out what works and what doesn’t. They figure out what food to eat on game nights

and what lucky undershirt has the best winning percentage. If an athlete remembers taking 12th Avenue before winning the big game, you will likely see them on the same road again.

As an athlete myself, I can tell you the impor-tance of a good pre-game routine. Not only does it prepare you to play, it also makes you feel the confidence of the last time it worked. The con-fidence a good superstition can provide could make the difference between a win and a loss.

Vikes swimmer Ella Dalling says that, although there may not be many team-wide superstitions in swimming, there are definitely things people do before every race. For ex-ample, Dalling slaps her arms and legs before a race as many swimmers do, to keep her muscles loose. She also spits water in her goggles before every race. Sometimes there doesn’t have to be a reason why. It just has to work.

Even fans get in on the action. If your favourite team lost a heartbreaker in the finals, you cer-tainly aren’t going to that bar to watch the game again. If your team has a better record when you listen to the American broadcast, then you will be tuning into that network when your team goes to the championships. You may even have to wear the same socks for two weeks if your team is on a roll.

As we embark on another school sports season, we will inevitably run into all kinds of weird superstitions and traditions. As players and fans, we are creatures of habit and in order to keep peace of mind, we stick to those habits even if they are bizarre.

Vikes come second at Guy Vetrie Memorial Tournament

Superstition in sports

INSIDE UVIC SPORTS

Lucky socks are just one superstitious relic you'll frequently see in sports.

CHIPGRIFFIN/FLICKR

The Vikes' Pierce Anderson battles for the ball with a Carleton player. PROVIDED

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EDITORIAL

CREDIT

Journalistic integrity for sale — not cheap

LETTERS

VOLUME 65 • ISSUE 13

8 OPINIONS • MARTLET November 1, 2012

SUICIDE AWARENESS FOR ALL OF US

Thank you for publishing Nadia Grutter’s important and poignant story “Suicide: what you don’t hear.” I know first-hand how much courage it takes to come out in social circles about tough issues that are so often littered with stigma, but as a former professor once told me, those are the only things people really need to hear about anyway. 

Grutter accepts the challenge of that stigma head-on and manages to give readers a human-ized and biting sense of how “normal” suicide has become in our world; yet this isn’t a story or a message meant for troubled students, or people fighting with mental illness — it’s meant for all of us. Thank you.

Danielle PopeNews Editor, Monday Magazine 

ENBRIDGE PROTEST NEEDS BALANCE

The protest doesn’t deserve our applause.An emphatic “NO” only galvanizes one side

and does little to develop jobs within this sus-tainability crisis, and almost certainly ensures a missed opportunity to negotiate a more equitable solution to this province’s economic struggles as it crosses critical thresholds, whose lasting and prolonged consequences are then hard to reverse. 

Perhaps those who have so much time on their hands to spend clapping, chanting and carrying signs should consider conditions for many strug-gling B.C.-ers and think up specific, achievable solutions to balance environmental concerns they have helped create — besides protesting for the sake of protest.

William PerryCommunity member

> MARK MCINNES

In July 1995, the Martlet reported that a UVic student had filed a harassment complaint against the university over an exercise that the socially conservative Alberta Report magazine called a “lesbian conversion.” The exercise? For women to pair up and walk hand-in-hand around campus in order to observe and later analyze homophobia. But for one student, it was too much.

This story happened in teacher Michéle Pujol’s classroom. Some might consider this discomfort strange today, seven years later — but it still happens.

The student in this story quit part way through the exercise and complained to Pujol, who told her that non-participation was perfectly accept-able — it still met the requirement of observing discomfort and apprehension. Students who did not participate were advised to write about why they did not want to, thereby fulfilling their participation grade without coming into conflict with whatever values they held on the issue.

This was apparently not good enough, and the student went ahead with the harassment complaint. In an interview with Alberta Report, the student had said that she was a left-wing socialist and “sympathetic to all marginalized groups” — yet, the student felt she was entering into lesbian studies and not feminist studies.

Of course, as a 23-year-old gay guy, I’m not exactly the most qualified person to say what feminist theory is or isn’t. But I do know that there is significance to understanding how equality and discrimination work. That’s what this exercise was about, and I think it was suc-cessful.

The thing is, this wasn’t that long ago. I started with Pujol’s experience because it is due to the efforts by people like Pujol that we can look back on this sort of divisiveness and find it out of place and out of touch. What gets me is how people who are disadvantaged in society can still find a way to separate themselves from others who are similarly disadvantaged.

I’m trying to make sense of how vehemently many in the black community in America are distancing their own experience from that of those seeking marriage equality. It seems everyone wants to be unique, and every com-munity wants to be individual, but how can there be real progress for the disadvantaged when the one trait they all share — victim-hood — is dismissed and downplayed?

In many parts of the world, we have come a long way from getting weird about boys or girls holding hands. But there are still differences that people play up, and the consequences of playing up our divisions are nothing new.

It shouldn’t matter that sexuality is brought up in feminist studies. It shouldn’t matter that civil rights for the LGBT community are com-pared to the civil rights movement of African Americans. It shouldn’t matter that everyone has pride in their own communities. It mat-ters when something that could be shared by everyone — like real progress, real equality or strength through unity — is instead being carved up out of some misguided idea that one community’s marginalization is more authentic than another’s. I don’t think it’s a matter of pride. I think this is the narcissism of small differences. And we all suffer for that.

Can the disadvantaged all just get along?

GLEN O'NEILL

In the immortal words of Spiderman’s Uncle Ben (possibly paraphrasing Voltaire): With great power comes great responsibility — a humbling concept for any journalist.

You shouldn’t have to ask if an article that seems informative was crafted with ulterior motives. That’s why many newspapers, including the Martlet, have an integral conflict of interest policy that prevents individu-als or groups who are implicated in news stories from unduly influencing the writing of those stories.

But in the turbulent world of dying newspapers, online takeovers and falling ad revenue, even Goliaths of Canadian media can stumble under the pressure to stay afloat. The Globe and Mail, which the Encyclo-pedia Britannica refers to as “the most prestigious and influential journal in Canada,” has been under fire lately for a series of incidents that put its integrity in question. Columnist Margaret Wente was accused of plagiarism in September and was suspended from CBC Radio’s bi-weekly Q media panel and disciplined by the Globe. Also in September, a Globe freelancer wrote an article promoting her own house for sale, which public editor Sylvia Stead then apologized for printing. But it looks like the Globe’s issues with journalistic integrity aren’t over.

On Oct. 22, in its “Mediacheck” section, online news source The Tyee reported on an advertorial that ap-peared in the Globe and Mail print edition on Oct. 2. Advertorials are ads that look like articles; they are often seen in media and usually clearly identified as an ad. They also usually have a different look than the rest of the publication. But in this case, as Tyee reporter Jonathan Sas pointed out, the eight-page spread that appeared in the Globe and Mail looked identical to the rest of the paper. The top of the page read “An information feature.” And the title? “The Future of the Oil Sands.”

What appeared to be an eight-page special report on the oil sands was actually eight pages of “custom content” sponsored by Devon Energy and written by Globe freelance writers. This advertorial, which consisted of multiple “articles” that the Globe lent its design and column styles, was nothing more than a blatant, highly biased promotion of Alberta oil sands projects. While the online version of the advertorial clearly showed that the content was sponsored by Devon Energy, the print version contained only a small line (not on the front page of the report) that noted the content had been contributed by an outside firm and a Globe advertising manager. Devon Energy was not mentioned as the force behind the content.

When marketers use advertorials, they are banking on the fact that readers trust the editorial staff and will perceive the ad as being endorsed or even written by the paper. The Globe’s marketing website puts the cost of an eight-page spread like this one at $169 684 — quite a chunk of change. In light of behav-iour like this, can we trust the Globe to give us the truly balanced coverage we expect from our biggest national news source? Just how far into the editorial process are advertisers reaching? The reputation of the Globe as a trustworthy Canadian institution is at stake.

The Martlet had the pleasure of a visit from Globe Editor-in-Chief John Stackhouse in 2011, after writer Karolina Karas won a Globe contest for student journalism. We’ll put it to you, Mr. Stackhouse: are you comfortable knowing that the voice of the Globe can be bought?

Is the $169 684 really worth it?

November 1, 2012 MARTLET • OPINIONS 9

> REGAN SHRUMM

“What is your favourite part of UVic?” I have been asked this question countless

times. While one answer has always popped into my head straight away, I have always been too afraid of being persecuted as an unappreciative student to say it. A university is supposed to simply be a learning institution, and I’ve never wanted to discredit UVic’s educational merit. So I mutter something like, “Oh, you know, the professors are great, classmates are friendly, we used to have bunnies, etc., etc.”

What I actually want to say is, “The graffiti.” Never have I come to a location that has such witty, inspirational and occasionally downright strange writing on the walls. Done are the days of high school graffiti, full of derogatory

or sex-centric comments. Even when there are such statements in the hallways or bathrooms of UVic, the authors critique themselves. “Megan is a sex goddess” features its own minor apology for the use of the gendered term: “Sorry, still living in the ‘70s sometimes with my gender-specific language errors.”

In fact, I wouldn’t even call the wall-scrib-blings at UVic graffiti. They are glimpses into the minds of students — glimpses that show the intelligence of the student body. After spending countless hours studying in the library, I usually walk around the building to forget my work and absorb the comments. Meandering to the windows on the third floor to look at the desired outside world one day, I found another scribble: “Everyone’s a genius, but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its life

believing it is stupid – Einstein.” The neat lettering made me wonder about

this nonchalant scribe. Wanting to take a break from the stress of researching and reading, as I had done, the student shared this inspirational idea with others. I felt a sort of kinship with the student as I walked back to my place of study, and therefore felt a little less gloomy about my upcoming essay.

Whole dialogues have taken place in written form on the walls of the women’s bathroom in the basement of McPherson Library. People supporting each other through hard times, strangers conversing about religion and politics, and even bookworms listing their favourite books. The second stall on the left harboured an amateur Ebert before last year’s tragic repaint-ing: “Toy Story 2 was OK.” Not all the graffiti is

so thoughtful, but students need a way to vent, and writing an apathetic review of a children’s movie is simply one way.

I especially like coming across old graffiti, untouched and unchanged throughout the years. Sitting underneath a stairwell on the third floor of the library, I found this: “This is the best place to sit in the library ’73.” One person was sitting here almost 40 years ago. Who were they? What did they look like? Where are they now? At UVic, nothing remains of the person except for their little note. It’s almost as if they have been forgot-ten by history, but a small fragment of memory remains for those who can find it. I write, looking over my shoulder to make sure no one is watching. “Agreed! ’12” A little piece of me has been added to the UVic bookshelf, waiting to be discovered by the next idle flâneur.

Intellectual musings on the walls

> SOL KAUFFMAN

I hate Halloween.There are plenty of holidays I’m a big fan of.

Thanksgiving, Canada Day — hell, being Jewish just opens up the floodgates of extra holidays. These are opportunities to bring people to-gether, to party and hang out and take the focus off of our busy lives, to appreciate why we do all the things we do. We need that, as humans. It’s good for us.

And I’m a fan of fall, too. I’d eat pumpkin pie with a glass of eggnog on my deathbed. I love falling leaves and pea coats, and my birthday is even in October. I do have some good Hallow-een memories; you can’t be a North American kid without recollections of sorting a big pile of your loot on the kitchen floor. But every year, when the 31st rolls around, I find myself filled with dread — and not in the excited-to-be-scared way.

In high school, I was in a metal band with my best friends, a couple of home-schooled dudes. Halloween for us was more of the same; we watched Tales from the Crypt, got drunk off illicit South American booze and hung out in cemeter-ies (I used to be way cooler, as you can see). But we definitely didn’t go to any parties, or dress up at all besides our typical band t-shirts, leather jackets and denim. When I came to UVic, I found myself becoming more extroverted, and now I spend a lot more time going to bars, making new friends and trying to be less surly in public. It’s still a challenge for me at times to be confident socially and put myself out there, but I enjoy the process a lot more now. I’m starting to consider it part of my persona and take pride in being able to adapt to new people and new situations. But the prospect of dressing up for

All Hallow’s Eve and going out on the town still has me making plans to stay home and catch up on my neglected video games.

In the spirit of this column, I tried to find out just what the hell my problem was with Oct. 31. And you know what makes me so uncomfort-able about Halloween? It’s the costumes. Wear-ing the costumes, specifically.

A quick cross-section of my past several get-ups is telling: Silent Bob, a black metal fan, the dogcatcher from 101 Dalmations (it was a Disney theme party, okay?). I’m hardly an avid shopper; I own exactly one piece of vintage clothing, and Value Village is like some kind of debilitating confusion zone to me. I get flustered trying to pick something every year and have never had the kind of elegant, well-put-together costume that many of my friends seem to pick out of the air with no budget. And even when their costume ends up consisting of shoe polish and the dregs of their closet, they have the con-fidence to pull it off regardless.

Costumes are designed to give us temporary freedom from our own identities. But it turns out that my confidence and ability to be outgo-ing depend heavily on my perception of myself. My aspirations aside, I don’t have the strong natural identity one needs to be comfortable half-wearing someone else’s skin. I slouched around last year’s Visual Arts Students Associa-tion (VASA) party feeling embarrassed by how ridiculous I looked, trying to manufacture the bravado I’d need to feel cool without the face I’m used to seeing in the mirror. Without my persona and the social guidelines I’m used to following, I feel lost and shy — especially when wearing a silly disguise instead of the wardrobe I’ve had plenty of time to build and get fitted.

I’m willing to concede that it might just be a

case of not having the right costume, so this year, I’m making a resolution. By the time you read this, Halloween will be over, and I will have assembled the greatest costume in the history of Sol Kauffman. Something that’ll let me be myself with a little extra twist, or alternatively,

one that’ll let me spout irreverent movie quota-tions all night and yell really loud. Right now, I’m vacillating between generic medical doctor (feat. stethoscope) and Walter Sobchak from The Big Lebowski.

I’ll keep you posted.

GROWING PAINS

Feeling put off by putting on costumes

REBECCA COMEAU

WONDERLANE/FLICKR

“

TORONTO (CUP) — Jane Goodall is an iconic primatologist and environmental activist. Beginning in 1960, she began living with and intensely studying chimpanzees in Tanzania. Her findings were revolutionary; she uncovered multiple human similarities, discovered their use of tools and witnessed their violent behaviour.After 52 years, her time with chimps has become deeply intertwined with her life. She’s written numerous books on her work and observations and been given countless awards for her contributions. Today, at age 78, she no longer lives in the wild, but instead spends 300 days a year travel-ling and talking to audiences around the world.The core of her message is a call to action: we need to protect animals or else extinction looms. On Sept. 25, Goodall spoke to a capacity crowd at the Royal Ontario Museum.Ryersonian reporter Ryan Kohls sat down with Goodall for a brief chat before her talk.

Ryersonian: There is a lot of talk these days about Africa’s economic boom. Do you sense that this development will negatively impact wildlife?

Jane Goodall: Oh, it definitely will and is, and also it’s widening the gap between the successful business people and the people who have nothing. The poverty is increasing.

R: Have you seen any signs of this or heard any stories?

JG: There are so many stories. For example, the last one I heard was in Malawi, where people are moving further and further into lion country and the lions are getting more used to people. There have been a couple of cases where lions have killed people, so now lions are automatically shot.

Where people are moving into chimpanzee forests and cutting down the trees, the same thing is happening. Chimpanzees are moving into the villages and being killed. So, it’s hap-pening everywhere.

R: You just launched a coffee line exclusively at Loblaws [Canada’s largest food retailer]. This is your attempt to bridge that gap between human needs and wildlife needs. How can a coffee from Jane Goodall do that?

JG: Well, it’s a lovely story actually. It became very obvious to me when I flew over the whole area of the Gombe National Park that the people were struggling to survive. There were more of them than the land could support; all of the trees had gone. It was a desolate scene. How could we even begin to protect the chimps in this little oasis of fertile soil? So, we started this take-care program, very holistic, improving the lives of people with food, refores-tation and watersheds. But, they chose. It was listening to them and what they wanted, and we tried to fulfill those needs to start with.

And then, we found there was really good coffee in the slopes around Gombe, but the farmers couldn’t get it to market very well. We persuaded coffee roasters to come over, and

they said it’s fabulous coffee. Now, the farmers get a higher price. They get assistance with learning how to use one area to produce two or three or even four times the yield. They’ve all got management plans for the village. They can’t suddenly take over all the land for coffee. That’s not allowed. Of course, it’s shade-grown coffee; that’s what everyone wants. This is good for the soil, plus they can’t really afford fertilizers anyway. The trees are coming back, and the particular coffee in Canada that you get sends two dollars to our Africa program that is dealing with children’s education and so forth. This particular program has one aspect of it where the shade-grown coffee isn’t habituated or burned so that every place you used to grow coffee, the village puts aside that much land of forest untouched.

R: Your decision to partner with Loblaws seemed a bit odd at first. Many believe supermarkets are responsible for our unhealthy food system. Do you see this as your way to work within the system to change the system?

10 FEATURE • MARTLET November 1, 2012

BY RYAN KOHLS — THE RYERSONIAN (RYERSON UNIVERSITY)

ALL PHOTOS PROVIDED

AQ&A

with

JaneGoodall

SCIENCE MUSEUM OF MINNESOTA

HUGO VAN LAWICK

”

JG: Yes, because if you don’t work with people it will never change. After all, the amount of space given to organic food has hugely increased, and that’s because people demand it. So, it’s a mixture of educating the public and helping them understand that yes, it might cost a bit more, but then you’ll waste less and you’ll treat it with more respect. We don’t value our food enough, or clothing, and don’t think about how it got there and things like that. At the same time, the store is gradually realizing what people want, and they change the way they are marketing things and buy more of what people want. It’s all integrated, like everything else on this planet.

R: Several African economies are dependent on wildlife tourism (Rwanda, Kenya, etc.). Where do you draw the line between this being a beneficial practice and one that negatively impacts the lives of these animals?

JG: It very often hurts the environment. In the Ngorongoro Crater [in Tanzania], for example, it’s not as it used to be at all. So, you have to find this balance, and of course for a government that’s always trying to make more money, and for local people who are trying to profit, if eight people going to see the gorillas makes this much money, then it leads to, “Let’s bring 16.” That’s the danger. It has to be very strict with awareness and education amongst the Africans, not the white people going in and saying we’re going to stop the local people from making money from tourism. It’s got to start within Africa. That’s why our “Roots and Shoots” [conservation and education] program is so important.

R: When you went to Tanzania in 1960, Africa was referred to as the “dark continent.” When you travel in 2012, do you sense that people are better educated now?

JG: I think it’s totally changed. When I went it was full of mystery, and we didn’t know much about it. When I first went out there, there were animals everywhere. It wasn’t just the na-tional parks. I landed in Nairobi, and driving up to the white highlands there were animals on the road. There were aardvarks. The first night I was there, I was told in the morning, “Come see a big leopard.” There were also still the signs of apartheid, and that’s something that has changed that was horrible. It was dark in so many ways: the slave trade and apartheid were linked. So, we now know so much more.

R: A large part of your success is due to your unwavering determination. Do you credit that quality as the recipe for your accomplishments?

JG: It was having an amazing mother, so that when everybody laughed at me for wanting to go to Africa and live with animals, my mother always said, “If you really want something and never give up, you’ll always find a way.” When I finally got there — and Louis Leakey offered me this incredible opportunity to study chimpanzees — I was a young girl with no degree, straight from England, and they wouldn’t allow me to be alone. So, who do you think volun-

teered to come with me? It was that amazing mother. So, it was in the family. It wasn’t just my mother. The whole family was supportive and helped me to make me who I am.

R: You place a lot of faith and hope in future generations to protect the environment. What makes you so hopeful that they will not make the same mistakes?

JG: I think we’ve made so many mistakes, and so many young people see that and are com-pletely horrified. There’s also so much more information available now. The Roots and Shoots program became so important to me because I met so many young people who’d lost hope for the future; thoughtful high school students, people working their first jobs, university students. One of the reasons is you feel helpless when you learn the big problems and you do nothing. Roots and Shoots is to give young people hope. They choose their projects, roll up their sleeves and get out there, and they take action. If you take action about a problem you think is important and you see success and then realize young people in 131 countries are doing the same thing, that’s much more hopeful.

November 1, 2012 MARTLET • FEATURE 11

MICHAEL NEUGEBAUER

MICHAEL NEUGEBAUE

Which is your favourite farmers' market? Email letters@martlet.ca to hold forth on its matchless bounty. CULTURE

12 CULTURE • MARTLET November 1, 2012

> VANESSA HAWK

The Student Union Building (SUB) never smelled so fresh. Baskets full of local apples and tomatoes sat next to piles of squash, garlic, lettuces, bread loaves and rows of canned fruit and homemade jams, all offered at stalls lining the Michèle Pujol Room for UVic’s first-ever local community market on Oct. 24. There has been strong support for a campus market over the years from the community and various groups involved in public health, environ-mental and geography studies and agricul-ture.

“ There isn’t [a market] in this part of Victoria — Oaklands is the closest one, and that only started this summer,” says Rita Fromholt, mar-ket organizer and sustainability co-ordinator in the Office of Campus Planning and Sustain-ability, “so the neighbours said that they would really support it as well. It’s also a way for UVic

to service the surrounding communities as well as our campus population.”

The local community market hosted 13 vendors, five of which were organic producers. Many markets that support local and organic agriculture are held downtown during the sum-mer. This community market, however, coincid-ed with the fall harvest and was more than just a farmers’ market. There were pie-making and fruit-canning demonstrations, as well as a raffle draw and pumpkin-carving contest. Musicians played live folk music in one corner and added to the upbeat chatter of students, families and community members. The vendors, too, seemed to be having a good time: the gluten-free bakery booth and the homemade salsa stand both sold out of all their goods by the end of the night.

“It’s been great,” says Jon Newton, who stocked a table full of his homemade hot sauce, Dad’s Westcoast Wildfire Awesome Sauce. “There should be more markets on campus as

far as I’m concerned — even once a week!” While selling local, organic food was central to

the event, the organizers also emphasized col-laboration across environmental and agricultur-al groups. Some promoted their initiatives and showed ways of getting educated and involved in healthy and sustainable eating without neces-sarily growing one’s own food or buying from farmers. The Urban Harvest Project had a map that shows where people can casually harvest from blackberry bushes and plum trees, a proj-ect started in a geography class by fourth-year student Kyle Yen and his classmates. LifeCycles is an organization involved in planting com-munity and elementary school gardens. It also organizes the Fruit Tree Project, which gathers residentially grown fruit that would otherwise go to waste and then distributes it to homeown-ers, volunteers, food banks and community organizations.

UVic Food Services was also involved in the

market to promote the work they’ve done to support sustainable agriculture. Roughly 50 per cent of the vegetables UVic Food Services uses are grown on the Island, and almost 40 per cent of meats and all baked goods are locally sourced. No farmed salmon is purchased, and all coffee is organic and fair trade.

“The campus is different from the neighbour-hood hosting [a market] — we’ve got so much going on here,” says Fromholt. “I wanted to have an educational component built into it around why supporting local farmers [and] food secu-rity is important because a lot of students are in-terested in those topics, so this is a way to bring us all together in a fun atmosphere at the same time. Part of the education is that healthy, local, organic produce costs more than your basic gro-cery store. Not that much more, but it’s worth it because that’s what food is really worth, and we should support these local businesses making an effort to have healthy food available.”

Bringing the farm to schoolLocal farmers and healthy food initiatives partake in UVic’s first harvest market

Liz Perkins from Woolly Bear Farm in Cordova Bay had a booth at UVic's first community market. VANESSA HAWK

November 1, 2012 MARTLET • CULTURE 13

THURSDAY

UPCOMING EVENTS AT  

www.felicitas.ca

THURSDAYNov. 1

FRIDAYNov. 2

SATURDAYNov. 3

MONDAYNov. 5

TUESDAYNov. 6

WEDNESDAYNov. 7

THURSDAYNov. 8

FRIDAYNov. 9

SATURDAYNov. 10

 

 

Trivia & Pool (7pm–11pm)

Local MusicMondays:Everybody LeftBanyan TreeBlackwood Kings(9pm)

Battle of the Bands

Karaoke(8 pm)

Karaoke(8 pm)

TBA(9-11pm)

SonReal w/ Rich Kidd

(9-11pm)

Sanction Snowboards

Event(9-11pm)

Special Olympics

Event(9-11pm)

> TYLER LAING

I developed something of a crush on Jameson Irish Whiskey last year. A friend bought a bottle before we left Victoria for the holiday season, and he and I drained it in good time. We drank it on the rocks. Though I’d had Jameson in the past, I couldn’t recall it ever going down so smoothly, nor tasting so good. It might have been that my academic semester had just come to an end and the excite-ment that swirled in the air helped to numb my taste buds. Or perhaps my years of crushing cheap booze had culminated in a palate that could finally appreciate a well-crafted spirit on its own — the way I believed real men were meant to consume their liquor — without the need to douse it in mix. During the following three weeks of Christmas parties and get-togethers, I purchased four bottles of Jameson and drank them down without so much as an ounce of mix.

But as the holidays progressed and I continued this Jameson affair, a subdued sense of guilt took hold. Being that my lineage is Scottish (albeit five generations removed from the motherland), I couldn’t help but feel a little traitorous, like I was courting the daughter of some sworn enemy. It wasn’t long before I had the opportunity to redeem myself.

I have an early February birthday, and as I scoured the B.C. Liquor Store’s rows of spirits for something celebratory, I saw Dewar’s White Label Scotch Whisky on special — for a modest $23.75, no less. Not only did this smash Jameson’s price tag of $31.99, but it allowed me to nourish my Scottish roots. A potluck at a friend’s house was slated for the evening’s festivities, and I couldn’t wait to get started.

I wasted no time upon arriving home. As my girlfriend prepared potato skins, I poured a gener-ous three fingers of Scotch into a rocks glass then added two cubes. A sniff of the beverage caused my nose hairs to squirm; my first taste had me puckering like a duck. The sip itself wasn’t all that bad, but the aftertaste hit me like a house fire. I tried another, and yet again my throat burned with smoky horror. “This can only get easier with time,” I thought. But after choking back the re-mainder of the first glass, I realized I was wrong.

The thing with me is, if I have a hankering to drink — and on that birthday evening, I certainly did — how a drink tastes rarely gets me down. The strength of my resolve usually strengthens my pal-ate. Knowing this, and knowing that a slight buzz always helps, I decided to forge on. After all, the second glass couldn’t possibly be worse than the first, right? Wrong.

I got through about 1.5 of the next three fingers and reeled. With lower lip quivering, I glared hard at the amber liquid. It glared back. Fortunately, we had some Coca-Cola in the fridge. I’d just douse the next round or two and get on with it. But though I topped my remainder up with pop, I still couldn’t stomach it. Its harsh peat flavour punched through the sweetness of the Coke and almost made me gag. I’d officially been beaten. I spent

the rest of the evening drinking my girlfriend’s sangria.

A couple of weeks later, my friend Lucas Russell, who’s something of a Scotch drinker, came by. Since my defeat, the Dewar’s had been gloating tall in our liquor/cereal cupboard. Each time I opened the cupboard, I tried to stare down the bottle. Each time I failed. Russell took one drink, twitched slightly and said, “That’s some finish.”

I told him how I’d first tried to drink it like a man, then how I’d resorted to pop — all to no avail.

“No, no,” he said, walking to the sink. “Just cut it with water. That’s the best way to

soften the finish. And next time, don’t buy cheap Scotch.”

Lo and behold, it worked. Russell and I polished off the bottle, and I no longer felt intimidated when I reached for the Corn Flakes.

Recently, my girlfriend’s and my roommate came home with a bottle of Black Grouse Scotch Whisky. Though my first instinct was to shudder, I knew this would be a better representation of how Scotch should taste. At $35.95, Black Grouse is 51 per cent more expensive than Dewar’s was on sale. My first

sampling proved to be 51 per cent smoother, too. It still has the smokiness of Scotch — that’s just something I’ll have to get used to — but it’s not nearly as overwhelming. And while the finish lingers, to be sure, it’s not with the same type of stiff-karate-chop-to-the-throat intensity that signifies the finish of Dewar’s White Label. I can hear you Scotch aficionados now: “But Black Grouse is hardly a good Scotch, either.” You’re prob-ably right, and even though my ancestors may curse me from above, from here on I’m all Irish, all the time.

The cantankerous character of Scotch

COLIN KLIPPENSTEIN

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14 CULTURE • MARTLET November 1, 2012

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> KAITLYN ROSENBURG

“Are you Thai-ing up some loose ends tonight?” my friend asked me en route to dinner.

“Well, I have been craving Thai food . . . wait, was that a pun?”

“Thought of it this morning!”And thus began our evening at Baan Thai

restaurant in Oak Bay. For a Tuesday night after 7 p.m., the space

was surprisingly full. Only a few bamboo tables remained unoccupied.

Even with the international menu, the overall atmosphere felt incredibly familiar. I spotted a family eagerly passing dishes around, a large group of women catching up over glasses of wine and a couple possibly on a blind date.

I was feeling a tad drowsy after a full day on campus, so I tipped back a Thai iced coffee ($3). The combination of strong black java, sweetened milk and a touch of spice (usu-ally cardamom, cinnamon and anise) is an intriguing change from the ordinary coffee and milk pairing.

All the dishes at Baan Thai are large enough to share, and with a dinner menu spanning 60 entrées, you’ll most likely be tempted by more than one. Despite all this, my friend and I or-dered separate dishes. She lives for the burn and requested her Guay Teow Kee Mao Gai ($12.50) to be spiced hot.

If you don’t speak Thai, her dish consisted of

rice noodles flash-fried with chicken, egg, on-ion, red and green bell pepper, chili and sweet basil. I braved the inferno erupting within my mouth for a taste. The sweet basil makes all the difference, balancing out the heat of the chili. Even so, it was too spicy for my sensitive palate.

I opted for a mild version of Phad Thai Goong ($13.50). I believe Phad Thai is so popular because it’s the perfect balance of sweet, salty, spicy and sour. Phad Thai solves all my cravings because it hits all four flavour notes.

The Phad Thai Goong starts with a base of rice noodles, as is customary, and incorpo-rates prawns, tofu, egg, green onion, salted radish, carrot ribbons and ground peanut. It is flavoured with oyster sauce and tamarind. Tamarind has a naturally occurring sour and sweet taste, perfect with the salty oyster sauce.

The portions are large enough for two meals or for very hungry individuals. My friend succeeded in clearing her plate, while I took home leftovers.

About 30 per cent of the dinner menu is vegetarian (that’s including dishes containing seafood), and 52 out of the 60 are gluten-free.

I was curious what Thai dessert entailed, so I tried the Supparod Tod & Ice Cream, a deep-fried pineapple dish ($5.75). Give it a pass. The fruit came from a can and the batter was greasy.

If you decide to visit, let me know what puns you come up with.

EATS, CHEWS AND LEAVES

Baan Thai is worth a try

R R R

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November 1, 2012 MARTLET • CULTURE 15

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> MIA STEINBERG

Even the poorest of starving students sometimes get to go out to a very fancy restaurant. It might be a birthday splurge, a graduation celebra-tion or a really fantastic first date; whatever the reason, there’s something magical about eating at a place with linen napkins and an in-house sommelier. And when you order, you might no-tice something different about the food: there’s usually less of it on the plate.

It seems counterintuitive. The chain restau-rant you love is cheaper, but it gives you way more food per meal: a Frankenstein-monster chicken breast, mounds of fries, a side soup and extra coleslaw. The food there is delicious, but there’s always too much of it. At some point, the salty fries and chipotle sauce start to make you queasy, even as you keep nibbling.

At fancy restaurants, though, it’s a different story. Your food is presented like a plate-sized work of art, and each bite is a perfect explosion of flavours — they use the freshest ingredients available instead of flash-frozen

hamburger patties, and the difference is palpable — and eminently palatable. When you’re finished, you’re satiated instead of stuffed. There’s a fine art to balancing deli-cious quality with physical quantity — one that’s easily forgotten in an era of huge restau-rant portions and super-sized meals.

One of the most important parts of cooking and eating is knowing when to stop. While that mound of diner food might be delicious, your titillated taste buds will soon give way to regret-ful stomachaches and a slight waddle when you walk home. So, in the spirit of keeping things fresh and satisfying, this will be the final column of The Mighty Spoon.

When I started The Mighty Spoon last year, I aimed to share a few of the tough lessons I’d learned in the kitchen. It took me the better part of four years to understand how to cook like a busy, poor, solitary student. I’ve proudly never been a chef; I can’t whip up a soufflé or make compote. When all else fails, I pour Sriracha hot sauce on it — just like every other student I’ve ever known.

My goal was to educate curious readers with practical recipes: how to make a big batch of soup that will keep well in the fridge for a few days; what to buy when you’re short on cash one week; how to keep cooking despite exams and jobs taking up your time. I don’t run a fancy bistro by any means, but I like bistros’ philoso-phy about portion control. Like every restaurant guest, it’s good to know when to stop — before you feel frustrated or over-stuffed and sick. It’s

important to love what you’re making and to wind down before you crash and burn.

It’s been a true pleasure sharing my recipes with you, and I hope that you’ve gotten some new ideas and made them your own. I plan to continue writing for the Martlet’s culture section, so watch this space over the next few weeks for something new. Meanwhile, it’s clos-ing time. Raise your spoons high, stir that soup thoroughly and don’t forget to add hot sauce.

THE MIGHTY SPOON

Closing time

> IAN CAMPBELL

Drums pound, a voice barks and walls of guitar rise and crumble. This is the music of the forest in autumn, beautiful in its decay.

This is Ást by Skagos, an album whose very existence is storied. Originally released in 2009 on cassette, then later on CD, a vinyl release between the labels Eternal Warfare, Noxious Noize! and Pesanta Urfolk was then planned, but after years of no news, its future seemed doubt-ful. While Pesanta was slated to make the re-cord, cracked master lathes and even a fire in the pressing plant delayed the product, pushing the release back further still. To some, it seemed the record was cursed, but no longer — as of the first week of September, Ást has been birthed anew.

Skagos hails from Courtenay, a town just a few hours north of Victoria. One can immediately hear the influence the environment has on the band. The rain, the clouds, the fog and the vast-ness of both the land and sea are all sonically present in the music.

Ray Hawes and Isaac Symonds, two high school friends, formed the band in 2007. After recording some obscure demos and a split album, they released their first full-length, Ást, which is now considered one of the defining albums in the sub-genre of Cascadian black metal. Skagos draws inspiration from many artists; from Norwegian black metal originals Burzum, to modern-day post-rock bands like Godspeed You! Black Emperor. Lyrically, the band is steeped in the work of Fredy Perlman and his book Against His-story, Against Levia-

than!, although one can also find references to George R.R. Martin and H.P. Lovecraft in Skagos’s words.

This album has been with me for years now. It has become a musical reference point. I can’t think of higher praise than the simple truth: it is one of those records that, if you let it, will become a part of you.

Ást chronicles the cycle of summer to winter — from the last summer storms in “The Drums Pound Every Night in a Glorious Celebration of Life” to the crippling cold of deep winter in “Calignosity.” Both the music and lyrics mirror this theme. The album begins regally, a celebra-tion of the bounties of summer; becomes gloomy and repetitive as are the rainy days of autumn; pauses briefly to remember the warmth of the past but continues to become more and more oppressive, until it ends with a glimmer of hope, the dream of spring to come, in “A Night that Ends, As All Nights End, When the Sun Rises.” But the lyrics are two-sided. It is not merely the cycle of seasons described; it is the state of humanity as well. Our summer has ended, and we are now deep in our own winter, perhaps to awaken once again if spring should come.

The upgrades to the album include new cover and jacket paintings, a new master and a gor-geous etching of the cover art on side D of the vi-nyl (the album is a double LP). It can be ordered from the band or found locally in Black Raven Records and Cavity Curiosity Shop.

As this year’s long summer finally fades, Ást is born once more to bring warmth to the winter to come.

Troubles in the past for Skagos’s Ást

GLEN O'NEILL

ÁSTSKAGOS

16 CULTURE • MARTLET November 1, 2012

> BLAKE MORNEAU

Hawksley Workman is a musical renaissance man. He’s an accomplished multi-instrumen-talist: drums, guitar, piano, bass. If it’s in a rock band, he can probably play it. He’s also a production wizard who has worked with some of Canada’s signature acts like Tegan and Sara, Great Big Sea and Sarah Slean. He recently put together a musical theatre piece called The God That Comes. These days, he is extending his never-ending curiosity into a more tactile, non-musical art form.

Speaking from his home in what he calls “the rurals” (about three hours north of Toronto), Workman discusses his newfound hobby. “I like woodworking now. That’s my new thing. You have to cut and measure. It’s very like pop music in that way.”

As with many things in life, it seems to come back to music for Workman. “I’m so design- and symmetry-obsessed with art, typically. I love things to balance. I like songs . . . I love pop music. I love the balance of pop music,” he says. “If you’re going to build a shelf, it’s just like building a song. It has to function structurally before you’re allowed to paint it and turn it into art.”

Since the release of his 2001 debut album, For Him and the Girls, Workman has proven to be one of pop music’s most consistently en-gaging and challenging performers, painting his music with an endless variation of colours and textures. He keeps fans on their toes,

never letting his listeners get comfortable for too long. “Sometimes I just think I must be pissing everybody off,” he says. “I’m pissing myself off sometimes.”

His catalogue is so challenging and varied that Workman might not even be able to keep up with himself if he were one of the listen-ing public. “I’m an awful music fan. I don’t want anyone I love to grow. I want U2 to make Achtung, Baby over and over again. I want Thomas Dolby to make The Golden Age of Wire-less over and over again. I want The Smiths to make Hatful of Hollow over and over again. I hate when artists I love experiment.”

Even though Workman acknowledges the problems that come with constant experimen-tation, it’s something he believes he has no control over. “I don’t have much of a choice . . . because my body is what does the work. My brain is rarely engaged in music. Music is a sensual, bodily exercise more than it is some-thing that I think too much about.”

The creative spirit that drives that sensuous-ness forward is an important and inescap-able aspect of Workman’s art. “If I don’t feel like I’m being challenged creatively, I feel like there’s something missing. If you have a recipe for success, the smart money is ‘Yes, keep doing that.’ ”

Workman has never been one to go for the easy payoff or the smart money. “For me, it’s like a bad genetic malfunction that happens. If I’m not doing something that feels absolutely 100 per cent new, then I feel the very essence

of myself, all my cells are going, ‘okay, but you’re not working yet. What are you going to do in this situation to make it exciting?’ ”

Workman believes this creative spirit is a lib-erating force in a world seemingly consumed by vapid, fast-paced media. “Lots of people are asleep, and that’s sad. But they were put to sleep on purpose. I think that there was a concerted effort in having people be very obe-dient citizens who were nice sleepy people, who just sort of watched this all go by.”

There’s a goal, a reason for all his art to exist in such a raw way. “I think my job, in a way — I hope I don’t sound righteous or uppity — at the end of the day, when people come to see me play, I think it reminds them, ‘Oh yeah! I feel something. I just felt that.’ I think remind-ing people to feel is a way of having people stay awake,” says Workman.

No matter how sleepy and unattached the world around us may seem, Workman’s belief in the power of the creative spirit remains. “I want to combat negative feelings with deep, eternal positivity or hope. I’m talking about the belief that music, art and the powers to wake people up are still relevant and real.”

HAWKSLEY WORKMANNov. 8 @ the Cowichan Theatre in Duncan, 7:30 p.m. $25Nov. 9 @ the Port Theatre in Nanaimo, 7:30 p.m. $15 (students)

MUSIC RAGS

‘I’m pissing myself off sometimes’Hawksley Workman on wakefulness through musical experimentation

BRITT PYBUS First year Environmental Studies

“Going to Vancouver to visit a friend.”

What non-reading action do you have planned for reading break?

ELLY THORNEThird yearAnthropology and Religious Studies

“Heading out to Toronto to visit a sister.”

NIALL PALTIELThird yearPolitical Science and Economics

“We usually do a boys’ trip up to Tofino — little bit of drinking, a lot of surfing.”

> DOCUMENTED BY TYLER LAING AND HUGO WONG

PROVIDED

visit martlet.caIT'S ON THE INTERNET.

feeling creative?Share it with the world. Send us your comics.E-mail proco@martlet.ca for more info

November 1, 2012 MARTLET • CULTURE 17

IN THE SUB

UVSS.CA

NOVEMBER 8 – 15 EVENTS CALENDAR

PROVIDED

POETRYTHURSDAY, NOV. 8 – FRIDAY, NOV. 9GET POEMED!: VETERANS’ WEEKWhat is ‘‘Get Poemed!’’? It’s an event where you can bring in a story, picture or other item to famed poet Wendy Morton, and she’ll compose a poem for you using that item as inspiration. These particu-lar Get Poemed! events will be close to Remembrance Day, and so will follow that theme. If you have any old photos or stories of your Grandpa during the War tucked away somewhere, now would be the time to dig ‘em up. For more info, visit the events section at gvpl.ca. Saanich Centen-nial Branch, Nov. 8 from 2–4 p.m.; Central Branch, Nov. 9 from 11 a.m – 1 p.m.; Esqui-malt Branch, Nov. 9 from 2–4 p.m. Free.

SCIENCETHURSDAY, NOV. 15AN ECOLOGICAL APPROACH TO MAN-AGING INVASIVE PLANTS WITH DAVE POLSTERDave Polster is the man when it comes to managing weeds and invasive plants. He’ll be telling you all about how weeds behave and thus how they can be controlled. Hosted by the Native Plant Study Group, this will be an essential lecture for anyone who’s got weeds on the brain. As for me, I’ve got nothing against weeds. Heck, some of my best friends are weeds. Like dandelions. Why do people have a problem with dandelions growing on their lawns? For more info, visit npsg.ca. UVic MacLaurin Building, Rm. D116. 7 p.m. Non-members: $3.

POLITICSTHURSDAY, NOV. 8LECTURE: “WHY DON’T AMERICAN CITIES BURN?” “What’s goin’ on?” asked legendary soul singer Marvin Gaye. Well, when it comes to the poverty and strife found in American inner cities, what’s goin’ on is a very thought-provoking question indeed. And University of Pennsylvania professor Michael Katz, who specializes in the study of the history of cities, class and education, will be speaking to that question during his provocatively titled lecture “Why Don’t American Cities Burn?”, based on his recent book of the same name. For more info, visit thecitytalks.ca and click Lansdowne Lecture. Legacy Art Gallery (630 Yates St.). 7:30 p.m. Free.

VISUAL ARTTHURSDAY, NOV. 8 (THURSDAYS TO SUNDAYS THROUGH TO NOV. 30)STINKING FISH ARTISTSI’d imagine that for most students in Victoria, Metchosin is a bit of a hop, skip and a jump away (it could be two or three buses in a trip), but if you like your visual art, why not take a quick getaway from the hustle and bustle of city life and head out to the Metchosin Art Gallery? There, the Stinking Fish Artists will be presenting an exhibition of artwork in various media including sculpture, oil paintings and stone. “Stinking Fish” is an interesting name

to call an artists’ collective. It reminds me of seeing the salmon spawn in a river up in Alaska. The grizzly bears didn’t seem to mind it, but trust me, it was pretty darned stinky. For more info, visit metchosinartgallery.ca. The Metchosin Art Gallery (4495 Happy Valley Rd.). 12–5 p.m. Free.

MUSICTHURSDAY, NOV. 8CAGE 100: OPENING EVENTVarious venues and artistic institutions of Victoria will be hosting all kinds of celebra-tions to mark the 100th birthday of legendary artist and composer John Cage. Okay, I didn’t know much about John Cage before writing this listing, but I had heard of him. So I looked for him on YouTube and now, having seen some of his stuff, I know why people think he’s so awesome. Check out his piece “4’33”; no, he’s not joking. This opening event will include the UVic Sonic Lab performing Cage’s piece, “Imaginary Landscape No. 3.” These John Cage performances and exhibitions will be a must for music geeks or anyone looking to get inspired by cool, experimental stuff created well before I was even born. For more info, visit aggv.ca and click Events. The Art Gallery of Greater Victoria (1040 Moss St.). 7–9 p.m. Free.

SATURDAY, NOV. 10 DIWALI CULTURAL SHOW 2012If you’re even a little bit familiar with Bolly-wood cinema, you know it features musicals that are big into their giant, impressively choreographed song-and-dance routines. Well, the Diwali Cultural Show will certainly feature that — but so much more. A wise man once told me that people are “Here to groove,” and it’s fun to see how cultures from all over the world get down with their funky selves. So go check it out: this sounds fun! For more info, visit victoriahindutemple.com. UVic University Centre Farquhar Audi-torium. 7 p.m. $15. THURSDAY, NOV. 15JULIE DOIRONI saw Julie Doiron about three years ago. This was an interesting show for a couple of reasons: the audience was all hipsters (except me). Besides that factoid, the performances featured Doiron playing a distorted Les Paul guitar by herself without a backing band. And if she forgot how the next part in one of her songs went, she’d just stop and say, “No,” take a second or two to remember how the next part in the song went, and start again. (Stopping and saying “No” is something you do when you’re starting out as a musician, but then you learn to keep going through your mistakes when you get more musically experienced.) In Julie’s case, the starting and stopping of songs was pretty charming. I’m not sure if she’ll have a backing band with her this time around, but Julie can definitely charm you by herself (along with the distorted Les Paul!). For more info, visit atomiqueproductions.com. Lucky Bar (517 Yates St.). Doors at 8 p.m. $20 advance.

> ALAN PIFFER

What a charmer! Julie Doiron comes to Lucky Nov. 15.

HUMOuR Oh, the places you'll goif you write for us, so

start writing, yo.

18 HUMOUR • MARTLET November 1, 2012

Visiting friends and family is now easier than ever.Save Now

> GEOFFREY LINE

Cry away your monster makeup. Wallow through your sugar hangover. It’s time to take a black or orange marker to your calendar — let it squeak in sadness — and note the next best day of your life: one whole year from now.

There are 364 days until Halloween. Cry away; pop your PEZ. You need to gobble up your choco-lates before they melt. Trade those sour things you hate for those nutty things you love; it may not be 2008’s recession, but the sugary goods market is collapsing quick. Shit is no longer just scary; it’s real. Ration your candy. Bust out your toothbrush. Entertain healthy alternatives. It’s time to make a salad.

Pay your dentist a visit and promise this time you’ll floss. Scrub your gums good, but don’t forget your bicuspids. And before you go to sleep, just try to forget about the whole thing. Last night is over. Drown your festive, childish memories with Listerine.

I’m sorry to tell you, but you are no longer an astronaut, a dinosaur, a pirate, a mermaid, a knight, a cowboy or a ghost. I’m sorry to crush your dreams. There are 364 days until Hallow-een: take that sheet off your head and do your laundry. Hang up your vampire teeth, put away your swords, take off your mask and polish your shoes. Put on your pants, button your buttons, tuck in your shirt and tie your goddamn tie.

There is something strange in your neighbour-hood, but it’s just your landlord. Handouts are over; it’s time to buy your own candy and pay your rent. Gut your pumpkins and make some pie. And please hole up in your own home. Leave your neighbours alone.

The trick’s on you. The day of fantasy is over. Stop envisioning your secret crush as a muscly gladiator or a medieval princess. There are 364 days until Halloween. You who love vampires and zombies have nowhere to hide; you will be relent-lessly pursued not by these nightmarish figures, but by the mundane concerns of the everyday.

There are 364 days until Halloween. Shelve your horror movies, go to bed at a decent hour, dress your age. And won’t you please stop doing that thing you call the mash? There are 364 days until Halloween — at which point I recommend you don a pair of green ballerina tights, nab your grandpa’s loafers, use the wax wrapper off a Sub-way sandwich for a conical hat if you can’t make it to your local craft store to buy felt, sprinkle some glitter on your face for pixie dust and pray to God you can fly to Never Land.

364 days until Halloween

KLARA WOLDENGA

November 1, 2012 MARTLET • HUMOUR 19

> ALAIN WILLIAMS

Aries (March 21 – April 19) Yo. It’s time for you to stop, look and listen to the stars above. Aries is the god of war, but for you they whisper “love.” And I know you feel like you’ve walked the whole route of it, actin’ like Alicia Keys, falling in and out of it. But love ain’t the lames and lead-brains outside the club, more like the pleasure of a conversation at the SUB. Enjoy your lunch. (Instrumental: “Little Pleasures” by Tokimonsta.)

Taurus (April 20 – May 20) The stars dictate you’re staring at the Taurus in the mirror, but you’ll really need to focus for the image to be clearer. Reflect on your life and thoughts and channel what your teachers taught, but don’t just sit around, T. Go pick up a hobby! Exercise your mind as well as your body! (Instrumental: “Getting There” by Flying Lotus.)

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)Ignore the haters. This is a discussion between you and I. This is just astronomer and Gemini. For one week only, you’ll be facing off against some judging jabronis. Don’t pay no mind. Remember your roots and tell ’em kick rocks ’till there’s holes in their boots. You spit the truth. Stay positive, G. (Instrumental: “How Does It Feel” by Pharrell Williams.)

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)The path you walk leads ultimately to a test, so don’t be scared; be prepared for when the conflict manifests. The signs are visible and easy to read, and you might be defeated if the warnings aren’t heeded. If you don’t listen, you’ve already conceded. (Instrumental: “Kick Push” by Lupe Fiasco.)

Leo (July 23 – Aug. 22) You will enter a valley of shadows and fear. Don’t break down. Don’t shed tears. Instead, look like Woody and Buzz Lightyear and depend on a friend or a soul you hold dear. (Instrumental: “Iron” by Woodkid.)

Virgo (Aug. 23 – Sept. 22)Advance into the week with cautious glances. Don’t forget, protect ya neck and protect ya finances. Don’t live fast, lest your cheddar get blasted and the movement of Uranus straight kicks your ass, son. Also, you need to diversify your bonds, V. (Instrumental: “Triumph” by the Wu-Tang Clan.)

Libra (Sept. 23 – Oct. 22)Alright, calm down, chill out, don’t blow a gas-ket, and know that your week is gonna be fantas-tic! Even though the sun is hiding and the rain is pouring fast, your future’s brightly shining, lit by starlight from the past! Keep the beat of life bumpin’ and the bass line thumpin’ ’cause it gets your soul jumpin’ when you put it on blast! (Instrumental: “Arrow Root’’ by MF Doom.)

Scorpio (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21) You might feel like your life is standing at at-tention. That means it’s time for some brand-new adventures, be you old or young, diapers or dentures. And I know that you know, so I shouldn’t have to mention; if you hesitate, nowhere it’ll get’cha. Carpe Diem, the world is your oyster, from the Serengeti Plains to the Shaolin cloisters. (Instrumental: “It’s Your World” by J-Dilla, R.I.P.)

Sagittarius (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21) Take a step back — give yourself some R&R because you’re working too hard and you’re working too long. You feel you need to prove that your spirit is strong, but don’t neglect your health; you got a life to prolong! Sit back, close your eyes, kick your feet up and let the keys ride. (Instrumental: “Mystline” by Nujabes, R.I.P.)

Capricorn (Dec. 22 – Jan.19) Alright, your love life is tumultuous, bus with no suspension, time to put it on suspension like a kid who skipped detention. Oh yeah, that’s right, let Capricorn do Capricorn, and if you’re feeling lonely, then let Capricorn do Capricorn! See what I did there? See what I didn’t do? Whatev-er. You get it. It’s time to do you. (Instrumental: “Freaks and Geeks” by Childish Gambino.)

Aquarius (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18)You’re a freakin walkin’ paradox, I know that’s better when Tyler says it, but it’s true, so pull up your socks. It’s time to make decisions about some critical topics and tell the indecisive will inside your mind to effin’ stop it. I can’t condemn you once you’ve made up your effin’ mind, but I can recommend that when you’re done, you watch Adventure Time. (Instrumental: “Yonkers” by Tyler the Creator.)

Pisces (Feb. 19 - March 20)Yo! Hey, I am Pisces, and I’m here to say that I like to rap in the . . . hip-hop way! Hey, wait, why’d the beat stop? Hello? My mic’s not work-ing. I don’t know why. Hey! Who turned out the lights! It’s dark in here!(Instrumental: Deafening silence and eternal loneliness.)

> NICHOLAS BURTON-VULOVIC

I enjoy Barack Obama as much as the next Cana-dian. I might even say I enjoy him as much as is legally possible without being allowed to vote for him. I’m not by any means immune to his charms, or the way his ears set off that decisive, masculine jaw. It was a happy few hours in my house indeed when those pictures of him running topless across the beach first broke over the briny waves of the internet. There’s a reason why the American political scene beats ours by a greasy, red-white-and-blue mile.

But there’s one thing about Mitt Romney that has Obama beat. That voice. That smooth, melodi-ous voice. It almost doesn’t matter that everything he says is complete codswallop. When I hear him talk about shoving women into binders or taking assault rifles away from American grannies, I lose myself. I sink into a trance and float in a sea of bliss. I’m not quite sure where it comes from, either. It seems so out of place in his modest, magic-underpants-wearing, Brylcreem-combing, Massachusetts-governing form.

As Romney shuffled back to his cheap bar stool between questions in the second debate with Obama, he gave off the appearance of a meek and powerless man, if you forget his massive fortune and deep, conspiratorial connections to industry. But once he opened his mouth and put the silver spoon in his pocket, liquid gold spilled forth.

The American domestic political scene doesn’t really matter to us Victorians, safe as we are, cloistered on our little island (even if we do technically dip south of the border, we’re north of the 49th at heart). Watching the two smarmiest men of their generation go toe-to-toe on issues completely unrelated to the questions asked of them is just a guilty pleasure for us. That’s why I feel comfort-able judging the candidates on merits that wouldn’t even approach political justification with a go-go-gadget extender arm. Far more important to us Canadians than softwood lumber, Arctic sovereignty or our 19-year Stanley Cup losing streak is that we maintain our global status as the next-door neighbours to the cool kids on the block. Bush Jr. kept us strong at number one in that department with his easy-going charm and hill-billy style, but it’s Mitt Romney whose smooth, unabashedly dishonest grandiloquence can bring it home for us.

So please, if you’re American, vote for Mitt Romney this November. If you happen to have any friends or family who share that unfortunate designation, urge them to vote for Romney. It’s cold up here in Canada, and the NHL has been on strike for months now. We haven’t got much, and we need this pretty badly. God knows we can’t rely on our own glorious leader to keep us cool.

The magic of MittA Canadian’s love for the Republican candidate

This week: astrology for freestyle rappers

HOROSCOPES FOR VERY SPECIFIC GROUPS OF PEOPLE

One verse per sign. You know how we

do, son! Drop the beat, drop the beat!

KLARA WOLDENGA

20 HUMOUR • MARTLET November 1, 2012

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