conflict.notebook

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November 27, 2013

Nov 22­5:33 PM

Conflict in Relationships

Nov 22­5:35 PM

Conflict - opposition of incompatible needs and principles

Conflict theory argues that conflict is inevitable in a couple relationship.

These 3 dilemmas tend to occur:

- individual vs. collective interest

- women's rights vs. male entitlement

- mine vs. yours

From these dilemmas stem two main issues:

- division of labour

- expressive quality of the relationship

Nov 22­5:40 PM

Why do couples fight? (p. 229 - Fig. 7-24)

­ balancing job and family

­frequency of sexual relations

­ debt brought on by marriage

­ husband's employment

­ financial situation

­ household tasks

Nov 22­5:44 PM

Why marriages succeed or fail

Research Study - pg. 230Read together

Nov 22­5:47 PM

Power and Influence

Conflict theory says: in a personal relationship, the person who has the resources that the other needs has more power

- in contemporary society, it is the ability to meet the emotional needs of another person that is the source of power

The principle of least interest - the person with the least commitment to the relationship actually has the greatest power

Nov 22­5:51 PM

Money, Housework and Power

Symbolic Interactionism says: what is perceived as fair in a relationship affects the stability of a relationship

- as women started to get jobs outside the home, men did not take on any extra work around the house, creating an unequal division of labour

- men still report doing less domestic work, however, men and women report spending the same amount of time (8.7 hours/day) on work and domestic work combined

conflict.notebook

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November 27, 2013

Nov 22­5:59 PM

In conclusion...

- the division of labour has become more equal in Canadian marriages

- total hours spennt on paid work has increased

- couples are doing less domestic work on the whole (cleaning, laundry, shopping, cooking, gardens, bills)

- may be because standards have relaxed, but also people are using house cleaners, etc.

Nov 22­6:02 PM

Peer marriage - egalitarian companionate relationship - each member is equally responsible for things such as

financial and household duties and childcare roles - each partner's work is given equal importance,

regardless of income

- hard work to maintain fairness- little support from society, which still seems to support traditional roles- have been fairly uncommon thus far, but may change

Nov 22­6:06 PM

Resolving Conflict

- individuals need to be willing to change their own behaviour when conflict arises (Systems Theory)

Are you willing to change your behaviour?

Nov 22­6:06 PM

Resolving Conflict- express opinions, positions and wants openly and honestly

- remain focused on the problem at hand

- try to understand the other person's perspective

- recognize your own influence on the interaction and the other person's response

- respond with a positive, not negative, attitude

- be willing to compromise and negotiate a solution that satisfies both partners

Nov 24­4:51 PM

Read p. 234 - 237

How do Systems Theory and Symbolic Interactionism explain conflict resolution?

Nov 22­6:12 PM

Gottman's studies have shown that you can solve each problem as it occurs, but there is always an underlying conflict that remains

- successful couples manage conflict by acknowledging that it exists, tackling problems as they arise in a positive way and giving in to the relationship when necessary

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November 27, 2013

Nov 22­6:16 PM

Men Vs. Women

- men and women perceive problems differently because they express emotions differently

- women have evolved to recover quickly from stressful events, men respond more slowly and get angry

- women are more willing to address the conflict, men are more likely to let it build

- men communicate in a more competitive manner- women tend to soften their complaints, men are more straightforward- women look for support in an argument, men look to be challenged and to challenge

- lesbian couples are better at resolving problems than gay couples

Nov 24­4:54 PM

How to make marriages last

- having similar values

- enjoying similar leisure-time activities

- pooling incomes

- sharing in power and decision making in their relationship

- having friends in common

- having an active social life together

Nov 24­4:58 PM

Read Colleen and Eddie's marriage Case Study

Pg. 240-241

Answer questions #1-6

Nov 24­5:01 PM

Review Systems Theory

- often used in Family Conflict therapy

Nov 24­5:04 PM

Case Study Assignment

Nov 24­5:23 PM

Do you know of any relationships between people of different races, background, etc?

Are there any differences in the types of relationships?

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November 27, 2013

Nov 24­5:25 PM

Intermarriage

Heterogamy - marriage between partners who are fro different social racial, religious, ethnic or cultural backgrounds

- appears to be more common in Canadian urban communities- not seen as an issue in diverse societies, such as Canada

- differences in individuals are related to their personal family lives ex. negotiating roles, strategies, rituals of marriage

Nov 24­5:30 PM

Interracial couples

- most visible form of intermarriage- number has gone up 35% between 2001 and 2006- more likely to cohabit, rather than marry

- in U.S. interracial marriage is looked at as a rebellion

- main challenge is raising biracial children - racial identity

Nov 24­5:30 PM

Interfaith Couples

p. 250 - Figure 8-4

Analyze the chart in pairs

- different issues than interracial couples, because faith is chosen and you can convert to another faith- usually have similar economic and educational background- couples have to choose whether to compromise some or all of their beliefs and customs- must decide what faith to raise child in

- some faiths discourage intermarriage because this is difficult

- highly religious people are less likely to marry outside their faith- interfaith marriages are more likely to succeed if one person converts

Nov 24­5:31 PM

Interethnic Couples

- most complex- ethnicity includes national and racial heritage religion and culture

- variation among ethnicities regarding gender roles in marriage and workplace, responsibility of children, and relationships with extended family

- can cause conflict

- decreasing differences among ethnic groups now, due to social programs, support for families, etc.

Nov 24­5:31 PM

A love match? That's so last century

Read the Point of View together as a class

Make note of any positive, negative, or interesting/disturbing points as we read through

+ ­ Interesting/Disturbing

Nov 25­11:21 AM