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3 8 10Fun with Corporate Welfare | 7 Day Live Music Guide | Ask a Mexican

VOLUME ONE

ISSUE EIGHT

11 .29 .12

"

I'mn

othereforyouramusem

ent.You'rehereformine."

JohnnyRotten

RUN, TURKEY,

RUN!Sports pg 6


2/16

TX

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2 TX CITIZEN

table of contents

1st WordWe break down th is weeksCity Council meeting so you canhave a life.

5Citizen DogThese twin dogs want to own you.

Advice fromUncle EselGot a problem? You will.

12

11

14Community CalendarThings to do. Go do em.

3Sports

An ot he r su cc es sf ul Tur key Tro t,and the end of the line forSmithson Valley football.6

The Beer HunterWh en Mi tc he ll dr in ks ,we al l le ar n so me th in g.

15

10The CountysMost WantedIts one way to get famous.

Ask a MexicanGustavo offends in two languages.

The Fork ReportStarchy goodness courtesy of

the Spud Ranch.

Your Horoscope,Featuring the Heavenly Bodies

Dont make a move without i t .

13

8Citizen Soundcheck

The ONLY guide of its kind forthe NB/SM Metroplex!

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Wow. Big doings o late. Lets jump right in

Issue One: This is huge. HUGE.

For months now, weve beenpointing out that the 4-B Board,which operates as a 501(c)(3) non-prot organization,has been operating without aederal tax ID number.

We requested the number romthe City and were told that they dont havea document responsive to our request. Wechecked with the Internal Revenue Service and

they couldnt nd one either. We asked DistrictOnes Richard Zapata i he could come up withit, and he checked with the City Attorney, whotold them no, 4-B does not have a ederal taxid number, but that 4-B doesnt need one, (eventhough, yeah, it does).

On Monday we asked District Fours rep,Sandy Nolte, about the phantom tax id and shesaid thatyes, 4-B does indeed have a ederaltax id number, although she couldnt tell us

what it is, and she declined to tell us who toldher that the number exists. Oh dear. Ohhhhdear. Perhaps you, gentle reader, will havebetter luck getting that inormation out o her.You can reach Sandy by phone at 830-221-4000, option 4, or by email at [email protected]. You can get back to us at [email protected] when you nd out. Thanks or your help.

Later Monday night, City Council gottogether or another marathon meeting

designed to numb even the most nimble ominds, with the usual expensive results.

Issue Two: First up, Council gave the ok tohand over nearly 12 million taxpayers dollarsto the developers o the Creekside complex.Granted, this deal was put together some timeago, and Council couldnt really get out othis payment, but it is yet another example ohow New Braunels taxpayer dollars are just

shufed rom one million-dollar entity to another.As a an o the ree market, I rmly believe

it should be allowed to prevail here in NB, butthe ree market isnt operating at all i taxpayermoney is involved the City and 4-B aresimply picking winners and losers, President

Obama style. Apparently no one is willingto simply build and make massive

amounts o money here without

a public payo to go with it,and the local government ismore than happy to play ball.#corporatewelare

Issue Three: The highlycontroversial Edwards Aquier

Recovery Implementation Program,or EARIP, which gave control o theComal Springs to the San Antonio Water

System, has more demands this timethey want the City Manager to enter intoan interlocal agreement with the EdwardsAquier Authority or unding o the HabitatConservation Plan Program, a program thatthe US Fish and Wildlie Service has alreadytold us we dont need.

Council voted to approve that one, whichwould let City Manager Michael Morrison getstarted on the projects, but then on the very

next item, voted against all the projects thatthe rst vote was relevant to, those projectsbeing the Old Channel Restoration, AquaticVegetation, Non-Native Animal Control, GillParasite and Low Impact Development.

Richard Zapata asked i that OldChannel Restoration included all three arms osaid channel as it turns out it doesnt. It onlyapplies to the area surrounding the so-calledprivate island. Which, o course, gures.

That vote against went 4-3, but thenMorrison pulled something hes done oncebeore, back on the Stormwater Utility Fee he called or a do-over. And or the secondtime, Council bit on rescinding a vote that theyhad just taken. Let me say that again: Councilvoted, the City Manager complained aboutthe result, so Council overturned their vote. Isuspect that both Morrison and I are equallysurprised that worked more than once, so Ive

got to give it up or the man hes got thesepeople so tightly wrapped around his ngerthat he risks losing it to necrosis.

Continued on next page.

W RDSTMIKE

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It should be noted that Stephen Diggesrailed against the motion, on the groundshat Bio-West, who would be granted theontracts or three o the ve items, was also

involved in putting the whole project together,hich, to any astute observer looks like a

erious confict o interest. Digges saw that,rgued passionately against it, and in true

tephen Digges style wait or it wait orit waaaaaait he went ahead and votedo approve the deal.

In case you missed that: Digges arguedehemently against the HCP projects on the

basis o confict o interest, and then votedor them. This continuing tactic allows himo look tough against the City Managementnd the local powers-that-be while towing

he line or them at the same time. Absolutely

masterul. Between Morrison and Digges, theily market in this town is all sewn up.

Issue Four: City Management wanted torun a $59,000 study to see i its easible tollow businesses to recycle the tons o cans,

bottles, and cardboard they throw out everyeek. We already know businesses want this

ervice, and even Council could see that weont need to drop nearly 60k to nd that out

gain. The consultants lost out on that one,6-1, with only Mayor Gale Pospisil in avor.

Issue Five: The Chamber o Commerceas back, looking or a two-year PR dealith the City at a 4-B cost o $350,000 per.

It should be noted that in 2010, according tohe Citys data, they did the very same jobor $234,569. In 2011 they got a $55,000raise, ollowed by a $16,800 raise in 2012.Now they want another $43,000 raise. WTF.

Let me just point out, in case you didntknow, that the Chamber o Commerce isnt

government entity its a private club thatharges its members plenty to belong to it.hey shouldnt be getting tax money. How

much 4-B money have you gotten to developour business? None? Really? Because Silvertate Helicopters and the Scooter Store haveotten plenty, and much o that Scooter Storeough went right into the hands o Bob

Krueger or his lobbying eorts, and he justhappened to have a wie on City Council

hen those deals went through. Im startingo think that our tax dollars are just there tonrich certain well-connected residents o ourair city. Actually no, that would be crazy.

Anyway, the Chamber got their raiseby unanimous vote. Hooray!

Issue Six: The Chamber was back,looking or $56,000 in Hotel/Motel Tax toadd Gruene and the County Courthouse tothe Citys walking tour. Because, o course,it costs $56,000 to add Gruene and theCounty Courthouse to the Citys walking tour.Unanimous approval. Good lord.

Issue Seven: As usual, Police Chie TomWibert got his way, and now, instead ousing all 17 local tow truck companies orits vehicle relocation and impound needs, theCity will use just one, much to the chagrino all 17 tow truck companies. That onewent 4-3, with Zapata, District Twos MarkGoodner, and Digges dissenting. No wordon what will happen should all 17 companies

submit identical bids or the job.

Issue Eight: Pristine Texas Rivers got itsmake-up contract, the one that makes surethey get paid o even though the rivers donthave any trash in them anymore, with theaward o $141,748 to empty out the ParksDepartments land-based trash cans. Man,we are getting sucked dry by consultants andcontractors. Ill empty the trash or hal o that.

Issue Nine: This is something that wentdown the Friday beore Thanksgiving, but itsvitally important the City lost its SupremeCourt appeal on the original Tube-Tax, withdamages expected to be set at about hal amillion dollars. The City is expected to appealthat amount all the way back to the SupremeCourt, urther enriching the Citys San Antonio-based legal team. But thats not the real story.

The real story is that we had that piece onCitizen Radio minutes ater the decision washanded down, but both the Houston-ownedHerald-Zeitung and KGNB radio waited untilthe busiest travel day o the year, the daybeore Thanksgiving, to report the story.

Six days ater the act.Im certain thats nothing to be

concerned about.

\m/

Mike ReynoldsPublisher/Editor-in-Chie

B


5/16

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6/16

6 TX CITIZEN

RUNNING:The annual Comal Cops for Kids Turkey Trot took over Gruene on Thanksgiving Day, with hundreds of runners bravingnear frigid temperatures of 72 to 74 degrees, all to benet the Comal Cops for Kids Foundation. The Foundation supports the local Green and Blue

Santa programs, among other worthy causes.Jason Trevino came in rst in the 5K division, while Tom Turkey (Deputy Sheri Tommy Ward) did his best to outrun the kids in the quarter-mile

Turkey Chase. The kids eventually got the best of him, and from all accounts, cooked up real nice and wasnt too dry at all.

FOOTBALL: The Smithson Valley Rangers wrapped up their near-perfect season with a 28-20 loss to Brandeis in last Fridays 5A secondround playo game, nishing the season with an 11-1 record overall, and a 5-0 record in district play.

SPONSORED BY MIKIE FARIAS PHOTOGRAPHYVisit www.mikiefarias.com for more photos!

Event Coordinators Comal County

Deputy Sheriff Tommy Ward, (left,

in turkey costume), and Comal

County District Attorney Jennifer

Tharp (right, red shirt).


7/16FACEBOOK.COM/TXCITIZEN 7


8/168 TX CITIZEN

Thu 11.29Adobe Verde

Garrett Heinrichs8pm

AJs Ale HouseRock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show9pm

Billys Ice HouseBubba Westly & The Interstate Heartbreak8pm

Black & Tan PubMark Sebby9pm

Black Whale Pub3 Man Front9pm

Cheatham Street WarehouseSeth Candan & Brian Keane9pm

Gruene HallChris Ruest Band6pm

Oma Gruenes Secret GartenJam Night w/ The Kinfo lk6pm

On the Hal Shell Oyster BarJunior Nash9pm

Phoenix SaloonLucas Taylor5pm

Rileys TavernMatt Begley & Bitter Whiskey9pm

River Road Ice HouseBig Red Drum Showcase8pm

Tavern in the GrueneBlake and Fallon

8pmTriple Crown

Erickson6pmSp_aces, Bonsai Nation, Are You Crazy?10pm, $5

Uptown Piano BarAshley Stone8pm

Vineyard at GrueneAlli Mattice7pm

Fri 11.30Adobe Verde

The Knowhows8pm


Billys Ice HouseJake Kellen8:30pm

Black & Tan PubALLus K ILLus, All Sides Equal9pm

Black Whale Pub2 Rivers Trio9pm

Cheatham Street WarehouseOwen Temple Trio9pm

Gruene HallShawn Colvin8pm, $35

The Happy CowHappy Cow Turns Three Years Old!

Kim Meeks8pm

Oma Gruenes Secret GartenAdam Johnson & the Pay Mes6pm

On the Hal Shell Oyster Bar3 Man Front9pm

Phoenix SaloonDaniel Thomas Phipps

5pmDJ B.Read9pm

Rileys TavernLonesome Dave Fisher8pm

River Road Ice HouseJeremiah Houston Band8pm

Tavern in the GrueneMonty Guitar Tyler8pm, $3

Triple CrownRick Lugo6pmGiant Salvinia, The Red Direct, Knael10pm, $5

Uptown Piano BarBarry Adams8pm

Vino en VerdeSteve Beltran8pm

Vineyard at GrueneRelay for Life FundraiserZack Walther7pm

Sat 12.1Adobe Verde

Dim Lit Daylight8pm


Billys Ice HouseThe No Refund Band8pm

Black & Tan PubWinter Bash!9pm

Black Whale PubVagabonds del Sol9pm

Cheatham Street WarehouseSons of Fathers9pm, $5

Gruene HallHot Texas Swing Band1pmCarolyn Wonderland & Guy ForsythHoliday Roastw/ Shelley King7pm, $15

The Happy CowKnucklehead8pm

Oma Gruenes Secret GartenKen Raba1pm

Adam Johnson & the Pay Mes6pm

Phoenix SaloonChesterfieldw/ The LaRues

9pmRileys Tavern

Luke Adair & The Big Bills9pm

Texas Music TheaterThose Nights9pm

Triple CrownScott H. Biram10pm, $8

Uptown Piano BarJohn Maclean8pm

Vineyard at GrueneKenn, Ashley & Shawn7pm

Vino en VerdeDry River Religion9pm

Water2WineTree Trimming Par ty!A cappella Christmas Carolersw/ Merrie Court Singers5pm

Sun 12.2Adobe Verde

Ross Brunner8pm

Billys Ice HouseHorseshoes & Hand Grenades8pm

Cheatham Street WarehouseToy DriveMike Ethan Messick & More1pm

YOUR LIVE MUSIC GUIDE



Fri 11.30

AntonesSouthbound Drive, Shakey Graves,

Love Leighs

8pm, $7

The Continental ClubClub Lineup:

The Blues Specialists, 6:30pmDan Dyer, 10pm, $22

Ben Kweller, 11:30pm

Gallery Lineup:

Liz Morphis, 8:30pm

The Mike Flanigin Trio, 10:30pm, $5

Floores Country StoreRyan Beaver

w/ James Delgado8pm, $8

Red Eyed FlyCircadian Rythms

w/ The Morning Sun, Your Friendly Ghost,

Cityline Horizon

9:30pm, Outside

Sams Burger JointSteve Forbert, Patty Larkin8pm, $23

Stetson BarChris Salinas & Wildgrass Band

9:30pm

Stubbs BBQFull Service

10pm, Inside, $8

Thirsty Horse SaloonSmall Town Habit

8pm

Sat 12.1

AntonesWanda Jackson

w/ Jonny Fritz & The In-Laws,

Ruby Dee & The Snakehandlers

8pm, $20-$25

The Continental ClubClub Lineup:

Redd Volkart, 3:30pm

Ruby James, 10pm, $10

Rosie Flores & Marti Brom, 12am

Gallery Lineup:

Scarlett Olson, 8:30pm

The Mike Flanigin Trio, 10:30pm, $5

Floores Country StoreGary P Nunn

8pm, $12

Red Eyed FlyDangerous Road

w/ Wellborn Road

9:30pm, Outside

Sams Burger JointSlaid Cleaves

w/ Jonny Burke

8pm, $18

Stetson BarChris Saucedo & New Age Outlawz

9:30pm

Stubbs BBQDethklokw/ Machine Head, All That Remains,

The Black Dahlia Murder

6pm, Inside, $35

Gruene HallChristine Albert & Chris Gage12pmGreg Trooper4pm

Oma Gruenes Secret GartenSlim Bawb2pm

Phoenix SaloonThe Al Barlow Show2pm

TBA7pm

Mon 12.3Billys Ice House

The Third Coast Outlaws8pm

Black & Tan PubSteven Roloff8pm

Cheatham Street WarehouseRandy Rogersw/ Surprise Guest9pm

Gruene HallBret Graham6pm

River Road Ice HouseEmpty Handed Vagabonds8pm

Tavern in the GrueneCourt Nance Accident8pm

Triple CrownGerrys Kids6pmChief & TheDoomsdayDevice9pm

Tues 12.4Billys Ice House

Steven Roloff & Kyle Reedw/ Dan McCoy8pm

Black & Tan PubGarrett Snowden9pm

Cheatham Street WarehouseJeff Strahan9pm

Gruene HallTom Gillam & Friends6pm

Rileys TavernManzy Lowry9pm

Tavern in the GrueneRoots & Branches

7pmThe Blooms9:30pm

Triple CrownBen Schane6pmHoliday Mountain, Hair Farmers9pm, $3

Wed 12.5Billys Ice House

Will Owen Gage8pm

Cheatham Street WarehouseKent Finlays Songwriters Circle9:30pm

Gruene HallEd Jurdi & Gordi Quist6pm

The Happy CowGary Herman & Friends

8pm

Rileys TavernTyler Cannon9pm

River Road Ice House3 Man Front8pm

Triple CrownScott Wood & The Kyle Project6pm

Anna Beth & Gost, G Clef , SymmaTree,Aye Cue, Colin Gee9pm, $5

Uptown Piano BarJohn Maclean8pm

YOUR L IVE MUSIC GUIDE

OUTOF

COMAL COUNTY SASK A MEXICAN!

!


10/1610 TX CITIZEN

By Gustavo Arellano

Dear Mexican:In President Bushs State o the

Union address, he reiterated a needor a guest worker program. What is

your opinion o such a program? Te

program seems like mierda that screwspeople over in the long run to me, butwhat do I know.

una guerita por un mundo sinmuros :-)

Dear Gabachita or a World WithoutBorder Walls: Sorry Im answering yourquestionwhat, ve years later? Siete?But the sad part about my laziness is that

the question remains relevant, and whatRepublicans once dismissed as Aztlanistaclaptrap rom the mouth o Dubya (who willremain the best GOP riend to Mexis wellever havemark my palabras) is now thegospel theyre preaching ater the disasterthat was their outreach eorts to Latinosduring the 2012 presidential election. Itsbeen absolutamente HILARIOUS to seeRepublicans wake up and smell the tacos

over a decade ater Latinos became apolitical orce, to see them lamely propup Florida Senator Marco Rubio as apresidential candidate (the only position hesworthy o is being Secretary o Coos), tosee gabacho pundits ask themselves whatLatino voters want without having a Latinoon their panels or asking said voters, andmost laughablythe idea o resurrecting theguest-worker program. Conservatives love

the idea o having Mexicans work cheaplybut not being able to become citizens, butits an idea thatll ail as badly as it did therst time around, rom the 1940s until the1960s. For the last time, America: Mexicansare not just workers; theyre humans whollnotice living conditions are better here andwill want to stay herehow ya gonna keepem down on the rancho ater theyve seenParee? A border ence? P-shaw. And while its

true some Mexicans might want to only workhere and go back to Mexico, demographicsand history show otherwise. Immigrationreorm without some sort o amnesty is like aburrito without the tortillaand who the hellbesides calorie-conscious hipsters want that?

Dear Mexican:

I was with some cousins or a week

in Lindsay, a major orange-pickin

city in Central Caliornia. Tey own

a mini-market and Id go and help

them everyday and got to know some

customers. Many o the Mexican

customers would come in and yell

Agooshtoo or wey to me and m

cousins, and wed yell it back and the

would smile and get their beer. When

they would leave they would say a

rato and wed yell it back. I asked m

cousins but they didnt really know

much except that the rst two were

probably curse words. Any help?

Gabacho rom gilroy

Dear Gabacho Wey is easytheyre

saying gey, which as I wrote so long ago,

in one o the rst Ask a Mexican! columns,

is the ass o Mexican Spanish, even though

it derives rom the word or ox. But its not

a ghting word, and you and your primos

should be honoredMexi men use gey as

a orm o endearment among each other. I

they really wanted to insult you, theyd call

you puto, pendejo, baboso, orbetter yet

pinche puto pendejo baboso. Agooshtoo

sounds like a gusto (to be at ease), but it

very well could be an indigenous language

like Mixtec or Triqui, since the Central Valley

is home to tens o thousands o olks romOaxaca. A rato is the elided orm o al

rato, which means laterin this case,

theyre telling ustedes geyes that theyll

be back in a bit or more beer. Now that I

answered your pregunta, do me a avor and

leave some cerveza on credit or my geyes

so they can be agusto, por avor!

MOST WANTED

$200REWARD

COMAL COUNTY S

BASS,JUSTIN BRYANMale 509 180 lbsDOB: 08/08/1986CHARGE: Courtsmotion to revokeprobation forpossession of a

controlled substancepg 1 under 1 gram

CLOUGH,RONNIE DEANMale 506 182 lbsDOB: 12/31/1960CHARGE: Two countsof bail jumping/fail toappear and two countsof fail to appear foraggravated assaultwith deadly weapon

GILDERSON,

DANIELLE MARIEFemale 504 150 lbsDOB: 11/01/1985CHARGE:

Aggravated perjury

DROEMER,TIMOTHY AARONMale 509 200 lbsDOB: 07/22/1966CHARGE: Two countsof aggravated assaultwith deadly weaponand evading arrestwith vehicle

ADAIR,JOHN PAULMale 510 270 lbs

DOB: 12/06/1968CHARGE: Theft of

property over $1500under $20,000

GONZALES,

DAVID STARRMale 506 140 lbs

DOB: 07/03/1979CHARGE: Two counts

of forgery

GONZALEZ,MARCELINO JRMale 505 145 lbs

DOB: 08/07/1976CHARGE: Motion to

revoke probationfor accident

involving injury

TREVIZO,ROBERTO ALFREDO

Male 509 235 lbsDOB: 04/06/1968

CHARGE: Two chargesof DWI with previous

intoxication manslaughterconviction

VALDEZ,

DANIELMale 507 165 lbs

DOB: 08/27/1986CHARGE:

Aggravated kidnapping

GREEN, SHANNONLOWELL

Male 510 178 lbsDOB: 07/31/1975

CHARGE:Aggravated perjury

The names listed have been released in accordance with the Texas Public Information Act Code 552.001 st.seq.annotatedPublic Record and Information disclosure statues. This is a true and accurate account as of Monday, November 26, 2012at 10:45 am and may not be current by the time it is read. Do not try to apprehend anyone. For anonymous tips and rewards,

please contact Crime Stoppers at: 24-Hour Phone number 830.620.3400; Mon-Fri 8am to 5pm 830.620.3411. These are

listings of criminal warrants with the Sheriffs Office and are not indicative of guilt or innocence. Officers are to verify the statusof each warrant prior to making an arrest. Any person is innocent of wrongdoing unless proven guilty in a court of law.

FOR INFORMATION LEADING TO THE ARREST OF COMALCOUNTYS MOST WANTED.Callers will remain anonymous.

830.620.3400 - 24-Hour

830.620.3411 - Mon-Fri 8am to 5pm

-ARRESTED

-

-ARRESTED

-

-A

RRESTED

-

-ARRESTED

-

-ARR

ESTED

-

-ARR

ESTED

-

-ARRESTED

-

-ARRESTED

-

Ask the Mexican at [email protected], be his an onFacebook, ollow him on Twitter @gustavoarellano or ask him a video

question at youtube.com/askamexicano!

ASK A MEXICAN!!

ADVICE FROM

C S



Uncle Esel,

I just came back rom visiting the

border or the rst time and on the

way back I had to stop at some long

checkpoint where they asked me i I

was a US citizen. Now I may come of

as a smart ass but I am red-headed andreckled and I was raised in ennessee

so I know even some dang high school

graduate agent knows Im American.

How is it legal to stop someone 50

miles or more rom the border to ask

them or ID or no reason at all?

Lovingly Yours,

Sarah Lynn

Dear Sarah,In keeping with that ne Southern

tradition, I see you have two names. Uncle

Esel has been to Mexico lots o times in search

o, how you say - entertainment venues

- so I eel the same pain as you given my

German good looks and my prominent jaw.

The Supreme Court long ago held that such

checkpoints were valid or the sole purpose

o ascertaining i aliens were getting through.They were not intended or the purpose o

detaining people who are citizens and they

did not intend it as a means to have the eds

ask or papers rom law-abiding citizens.

The eds have stretched rulings and created

a second and very protable side business

known as drug interdiction. This new task

however hides behind the checkpoint or

citizenship checks, as on its own, it would be

illegal. To make this short, other than askingabout citizenship, any other investigation

requires probable cause to be established,

but only as it occurs during the brie stop or

immigration purposes and you cannot be

otherwise detained without that cause. Just

the same, the eds have a way o making up

rules on the run and the internet is packed

with videos o citizens who reuse to play

along with the agents and are then sent ontheir merry way when they realize video is

running. But be warned, there are also a ew

videos o citizens getting the crap kicked out

o them. Happy Travels.

Love, K

Uncle Esel,

Are we ever going to get that

Academy store in New Braunels?

Tanks,

Alex

Dear Alex,That deal is o and Academy has no

planned store on their books at this time.

Not sure how it aected the deal, but among

other concerns, they noticed a big drop in

summer, water related products in nearby

stores. Thats called a trickle eect i any city

leaders are reading.

Love, K

Uncle Esel,

So I hear the government is

looking at banning bouncy houses.

Is there nothing the government will

leave alone?

Fred

Dear Fred,

The government says a kid gets hurt

every 46 minutes on a bounce house andthat trampolines also pose a similar risk.

You know, the government does like to stick

its nose into everything, and on occasion

it is warranted, but the problem with kids

is usually a problem with parents who ail

to monitor their kids and with parents that

ail to correct their kids who may be doing

things that hurt others. I we just regulate

and ban everything that could hurt us, then

maybe the economy would prosper romall the bubble wrap and rubber bumper

manuacturing that we will need. Two

problems solved at once. I or one think

that we cannot regulate enough to ever

make up or bad parenting and I also miss

my lawn darts.

Love, K

UNCLE ESEL

Uncle K. Esel is a lietime resident o our air city, andis well known or his sage advice on a wide range otopics. I you fnd yoursel perplexed with no one toturn to, send your question to Uncle Esel at: [email protected]. Be sure to write Question or UncleEsel in the subject line o your email.

THE


12/1612 TX CITIZEN

This Week: Pedernales Brewings Classic IPAI imagine i the American crat beer scenecontinues the way it has in popularity, ourriends across the water will get jealous inthat way only the British can, envying theslightly less sophisticated, but younger and

much more successul sibling. O course,the tide will pull in the other directionsome times, where we emulate ol QueensEngland. Heck, the whole idea o batteredand ried ood is a very British thing, and wecertainly picked it up with gusto ourselves.So, as with beer, especially the ever-popularIPA style, we can expect the jibes to comein a ew years or so. Oi, yew wont anybeer in yer oppy water? theyll say rombeneath their top hats, casually crushing a

polio-stricken orphans orbital socket witha sterling silver cane (I assume nothing haschanged in England since Dickens.). Well,nuts to those guys! How can we not beourselves? How can we not take a beerknown to be loaded up on hops and LOADTHE HECK OUT OF THEM? Cranking thingsup to 11 is our way - The American Way.England invented sh and chips, but do you

think theyd ever deep ry grape Kool-Aidand make bank on it? Not a chance.

Now, to COMPLETELY contradict thespirit o the last paragraph, let me just be thevery rst ever to say, Hey America, maybewe should tone it back a little. Now, now,

beore the egies go up, Im not saying weshould become Canada or anyone else thatputs royalty on their money. Im just sayingthat maybe we should be more like a classycaricature o ourselves like the New YorkTimes Al Hirschelds, rather than a twisted,nightmareish version like Hunter S. ThompsonsRalph Steadman (a Brit!). Dont take this tomean that the constant jealous ridicule rom theOld Country has gotten to Uncle Sams avoritenephew, because it hasnt. All Im saying is

that sometimes they might have a point, andsometimes their way could also have merit.One such example o us toning it down

a bit to take a lesson rom the UK is thePedernales Brewing Companys ClassicIPA. Its interesting and unusual to see an IPAadvertise itsel as Classic or English Style,as it does here. For those in the know itll bea welcome indicator o hoppy strength, but it

may be bad i alled on dea ears. I youreused to the tongue wrinkling IPAs common tothe West Coast o the USA, English Style IPAswill eel like a not-even-pale-ale.

Frequenters o my column will recall mymuch-documented distain or the whole IBUs

or the sake o IBUs trend, so an EnglishStyle IPA is right up my alley. I had this onerom a bottle, quite resh rom the brewery byall sources. It poured a nice, clear copperwith a airly retained amount o head. Verypicturesque in an Imperial Pint. It had adistinct, but not aggressive nose to it, someherbal and grassy Cascade-ish hops and atinge o lemony tang. You dont get much othe malt in the nose, but it is balanced almostscientically well in the taste. It is slightly

sweet rom the barley, and has a good toastycrystal malt favor. Moutheel is very thinand crisp, almost like a lager eel but withoutany odd yeast to change the clarity or favor.Doubly rereshing, not just in taste and palate-slaking ability, but also rereshing to see themoniker IPA shown not as a challenge or theweak-tongued, but simply as an indicator ora hoppy, enjoyable beer.

WITH MITCHELL WILBURN

Mitchell Wilburn is our resident bon vivant and arbiter o all thingsbarley. Send your beer questions to him at [email protected].

HAPPY COWa n u d d e r k i n d a p l a c e

B A R & G R I L L

9103 FM 1102

New Braunfels, TX 78130

512.353.0030

Nov 30HAPPY COW TURNS 3!

Kim Meeks

Dec 1KnuckleheadDec 6COW E OKE

Dec 7Double R NothinDec 8 Tony Taylor

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Mark Jungers,Jordan Minor & more!

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Live Entertainment

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Biergarten andUnderground Wine Cellar

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Fresh HandmadeSandwiches and Salsa

Private Parties- Catering

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Call for Hours!

omalovesyou.com

Biergarten andUnderground Wine Cellar

Featuring Guadalupe Brewing Co. Beers

Special Events Monthly

Fresh HandmadeSandwiches and Salsa

Private Parties- Catering

Wedding Facilities Available

Live Music Every Night

Never a Cover

Kid & Pet Friendly

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Call for Hours!

omalovesyou.com

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The Fork Report



This Week: Spud Ranch

I I were stranded on a desert island and

ound only one thing growing there that

was edible, I would want it to be potatoes.

Potatoes are my absolute avorite thing to

eat. I enjoy them anyway you choose tocook them; baked, ried, mashed, chips,

in a casserole, in soup, and the list goes

on. Its no surprise that I would be quickly

lured into a place called Spud Ranch. The

creative ways to enjoy a baked potato

there are endless.

J. R. Gallegos is the owner o not one,

but two Spud Ranches; New Braunels and

San Marcos. I always wanted to own myown ranch, and now I have two, J. R. said.

The restaurant in San Marcos is located right

next to Bobcat Stadium and caters to college

students. It has been open about 10 years.

We opened the one here in New Braunels in

April o 2010.

With more than 20 dierent versions o

baked potatoes on the menu, choosing just

one is extremely dicult. I am still a big an

o the Texas Original, which is the classic

butter, cheddar, sour cream, chives, and

bacon. I do also like the Ranch Hand, whichhas butter, chili, and cheddar. My next visit I

am planning to try the Steak Spud, which has

ribeye, cheddar, butter, and sauted onions.

New Braunels and San Marcos each

have dierent top picks rom the menu, J.R.

said. In New Braunels, the avorite seems

to be the Brisket Spud, which has chopped

brisket with barbecue sauce, butter, cheese

and sauted onions. San Marcos denitelyloves the Hot Wing with boneless bualo

style chicken, hot wing sauce, butter,

cheese, and your choice o ranch or blue

cheese dressing.

The restaurant also oers a delicious

home-style Texas Burger and a variety o

sandwiches, all served up on Texas Toast

with hand-cut ries. In all and winter you

can choose rom delicious hot soups like

broccoli-cheese and loaded potato and o

course chili and Frito pie. As you can see

there is something or every taste bud,(even the kiddos), who can choose rom

grilled cheese, mac n cheese, and chicken

tenders. I you crave a little dessert, try the

homemade brownies.

Spud Ranch is located at 118 CommonStreet in New Braunels, and gets 3 orksand a big 10 gallon cowboy hat - get alonglittle doggie!

The Fork Reportwith ann cousin

Ann Cousin is a New Braunels based reelance writer. She canbe reached via e-mail at [email protected].

Your Birthday this WeekWITH THE "HEAVENLY BODIES", HELEN AND EILEEN CUNNINGHAM

Happy Birthday Sagittarius! You people have

always been rebels. Right now panicked plebe-

ians are trying to diet in between the winter

feasts, but not you, you go against the grain. You

know the smart money is on dieting later on downthe road... say, March or July. Sagittari have stron-

ger hearts than the rest of mankind so for this

week it's bacon wrapped anything!

Dear Sagittarius: You've been lonely for a long

time, dearie, and I'm sorry to share the sad truth

with you - the position of Neptune this week

dictates that, if you've yet to meet your soul mate,

he or she will be crushed this week. And not

emotionally crushed, but physically. Definitely by

Saturday at 3:30pm. Get out there and meet new

people, or that special someone is seriously

going to die in a really awful way.

the hungryGypsy

Your RegiftingHeadquarters!Open 10 am/Closed Sunday

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NOW.


14/1614 TX CITIZEN14 TX CITIZEN

SURVIVE CHRISTMAS AT THE SEEKATZ!

The Seekatz Opera House hosts its frst musical production sincethe 1941 fre, with the New Braunels Theatre Companys ChristmasSurvival Guide. Armed with a copy o A Christmas Survival Guide andan optimistic attitude, the cast charges into an urban holiday landscapesearching or the true essence o Christmas.

Perormances are Friday, Nov. 30 and Friday, Dec. 7 at 8pm;Saturday, Dec. 1 and Saturday, Dec. 8 at 2:30pm and 8pm; andSunday, Dec. 2 and Sunday, Dec. 9 at 2:30pm. Tickets are $17 or

adults, $15 or students/seniors and $12 or children 12 and under. Formore inormation, call 830-221-6506.

RETAIL THERAPY FUNDRAISER

River City Advocacy is raising unds to continue to provide its mentalhealth services ree o charge with a night o holiday shopping! Vendorsinclude Pampered Che, 31 Gits, Scentsy, Premier, Vault Denim andmore. Bring your riends! Saturday, December 1, 5 to 8pm, River City

Advocacy, 145 Landa Street. For more inormation, call 830-643-0200.

PET PICTURES WITH SANTA

Santas coming to County Line Veterinary Clinic or his annual photoshoot with your pets! Photos are ree with a suggested donation toNew Braunels Puppy Playland. Santa is available on December 8 rom10am to noon, and December 11 rom 2 to 5. County Line VeterinaryClinic is located at 1928 S Seguin Ave, Suite 108, in New Braunels. Formore inormation, call 830-626-2582.

GOT AN EVENT TO PROMOTE?Well get the word out or you!

Send the details to [email protected].

This Week's LineCrushers!Barry Napp: 4-1 @ Scores Sports Bar and Grill

Tyler Olsen: 4-1 @ Buffalo Wings and Rings

Matt Meyer: 4-1 @ Buffalo Wings and Rings

Mike Tidwell: 4-1 @ The Happy Cow

Tyler Armbruster: 4-1 @ The Happy Cow

Week 12 Accuracy by League:First Place: Scores Sports Bar and Grill 52%

Second Place: Buffalo Wings and Rings 51%Third Place: The Happy Cow 44%

This Week's Top Participating League:

THE HAPPY COW

Crush the line every week at one of the four participating

league bars, and take your shot at $10,000! Hurry, the

deadline to turn IN your Week 13 picks is Saturday at 5pm!

november 29 reg

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