oca assignment 3

8/13/2019 OCA Assignment 3

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Writing 1: Narrative and Dialogue

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picture framer), Jims Electricals (specialising in van alternators and starter motors) and

local blacksmith specialising in bespoke handrails and shelf brackets. Amanda says that

Dorothy Weinbler has agreed to do the demonstration for free in return for lodgings in an

authentic local Smugglers Inn. Betty Jenkins consults The Diary to see if a suitable events

room will be available for Dorothy Weinbler. There are no spaces. The largest room is fully

booked on the day as the most popular adult learners courses will be demonstrating their

skills learned to visitors including: Bridge For Improvers, French For Francophiles, Lovers

of Latin and Sussex Before the Romans history group. And a local photographer wants to

recreate Saxon life around the Village Pond in an exhibition. Amanda de Courcey says she

will sort it. The village Sugar Craft committee take a vote on whether to allow New York

based Dorothy Weinbler to give a master class sugar craft skills demonstration on their big

day. One member doesnt think an American should be taking the lead for such a historical

village event. Amanda de Courcey promises that she personally will fund the finest local

ingredients for a local English baker to provide the sponge of any cake exhibited on the day

and that Dorothy Weinbler will only be able to exhibit skills such as lacing champagne piped

embroidery around the cake. She will also photograph Dorothy Weinbler being presented

with the finest crafted sweets created by a local designer to generate local interest and

bump up their dwindling membership. The committee votes unanimously in favour of

Dorothy Weinbler giving a sugar craft Master Class at the Village Community Centre 20th

Anniversary.

Scene 2


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Village High Street Bank, Rottingdean, Sussex. Amanda meets with the bank manager, to

present her Business Plan, in the hope of being granted a large business loan by the bank to

start up her luxury brand De Courcey Chocolates. She has just received a phone call from

an agency accepting her offer to rent shop space in exclusive Knightsbridge, London, which

is the perfect location for an exclusive chocolate shop. She must fax them a signature for the

contract and a large amount of money within 2 hours. This depends on her getting the loan.

The bank manager is very late. He asks Amanda to describe in one sentence what makes her

business different to all the other luxury chocolate brands around. She says BECAUSE her

sweets are the BEST. She freezes, cringes with embarrassment and retreats into silence as

has clearly forgotten her well rehearsed pitch. The Bank Manger reads out parts of her

completed forms and notes she is currently not in paid employment, has no previous history

of an annual income, and smiles at her past charity work, frowns at her no business

experience, and raises eyebrows that her husband Donald is a surveyor who can only just

about pay their mortgage on their small town house with 60% of the mortgage

outstanding, therefore is a considerable risk to the bank if they need to seize her assets to

repay the money loaned by them and therefore regrets she is refused a loan. The Bank

Manager smiles and relaxes back in his chair, talks with admiration about the dedication of

charity workers. His wife rescues chickens and hens who have plucked their feathers out

and jokes how all his Christmas present jumpers end up being worn by the birds in winter.

Amanda remembers the time when bank workers were phoning people to visit them in their

homes and pushing all kinds of great deals on loans for mortgages and businesses and

overdrafts etc. The Bank Manager apologizes for tightening up their criteria but in this

economic climate they have to be wary of peoples history and credentials. Amanda


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London Fashion week to offer trays of De Courcey sweets to arriving visitors. Fun themes

such as sweets presented as precious jewels wrapped in sugar craft lace hats would be

appropriate for London. New York, Paris, and Milan would require a different approach.

Celebrities and designers would be sent private De Courcey Chocolate gift boxesprior to

the London show. Also Dorothy Weinbler the famous international cake designer who has

royal/ celeb connections would soon feature on her website raising the exclusive profile of

De Courcey Chocolates. The Bank Manager makes a phone call. Amanda looks up at clock.

Only 2 minutes are left until the deadline. The Bank Manager says the bank will give

Amanda the loan if she can provide the John Galliano dress as an asset to protect the bank

against risk of losing their money. Its five minutes past the deadline time. The Bank Manager

makes another phone call, and manages to secure the contract on the Knightsbridge

premises soon to be Amandas exclusive chocolate shop.

Scene 3

Amanda De Courceys house, Rottingdean, Sussex.Amanda returns home and wants to

share her good news, and celebrate with her husband Donald, as De Courcey Chocolates

now has bank backing and is officially in business. Amanda opens the patio doors and armed

with a bottle of fine champagne and two glasses she calls across to Donald who is working

on his vegetable patch. He gestures he will be a few minutes so Amanda tip toes in her

designer heels cautiously across the muddy garden. She blurts her news. Donald gently

enquires about the bank loan interest rates, fees, repayment timescale etc and then

emphasises the bank will take everything they own if she doesnt fulfil their conditions.

Amanda scolds Donald for his negativity. They are silent for a bit and then he congratulates


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her and kisses her. Amanda wants them to drive to London and have lunch in Mayfair, with

an old restaurateur friend of hers from Paris to celebrate. They have the finest wine list,

best cheeses from south west France, and can have fresh fish of the day flown in from the

Saint-Jean de Luz fish market. Donald picks up his muddy boot and stamps his spade into the

ground, digs up a clump of vegetables and suggests they celebrate at home with food from

their garden. Amanda then suggests another London restaurant that serves freshly caught

Somerset and Cornish turbot , and wouldnt it better to have a designer create a Japanese

minimalist garden to save him all this work. Amandas landline phone ringsfrom indoors.

She tip toes at high speed to make the phone but trips over some old empty plastic ice

cream cartons. Her heel snaps off into the mud. She falls through the open patio doors into

her living room and lands face down with her champagne bottle and glasses smashed beside

her.

Scene 4

Amanda and Donaldsliving room. Amanda then crawls to answer the telephone. It is her

ex husband Sven who has just flown into London, and wants to meet up for a spot of lunch

and shopping. Amandasstockings are torn, covered in mud, mascara smudged, and her hair

dishevelled and smelling of champagne. She is shocked to hear from him. Sven fills the

silence and says he bets she knows the best tailors for mens suits and shirtsin London. She

sarcastically suggests he gets his personal assistant Linda Baker to help him, as she was

always very good at spotting a bargain on Ebay AND being very accommodatinglike most

of his distractions. Amanda is thrown off track by Svens unexpected pleasantness and his

apparent interest in her daily life. She responds to his questions telling him she has just


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been tending to her vegetable patch with her partner Donald and is Chair of the Village

Sugar Craft Committee. Sven says he is in London looking for a job. He has been sacked from

his high position at a top Dutch bank. He curses the Dutch publics puritanical revolt

against bankers large profits and says Britain treats bankers better. Amanda remembers his

talent for figures and hiding things which is why she got barely nothing after their divorce

and only 40% of her mortgage is paid off. She complains she had to spend the morning

begging to a lazy bank manager who looked like he was more interested in planning his golf

retirement ,so dont come to her for help. Sven says he still loves her and knows she cant

be happy with boring old Donald and his boring old vegetable patch or chairing a small

Village Sugar Craft committee. Amanda slams the phone down.

Scene 5

Amanda and Donalds house, Rottingdean, Sussex. Amanda and Donald return home after

an evening in their local pub celebrating the good news of Amanda securing a business loan

for De Courcey Chocolates. After a drunken and giggly climb up their creaky stairs Donald

grabs Amanda and pulls her into the spare room forcefully and starts to kiss her. She freezes

and pulls back. Donald throws himself onto the spare bed and the shudder causes one of

Amandas dresses to fall from the hanging onto his face. He spits out a feather and then

starts to roughly fling it away from himself. Amanda screeches and retrieves the dress from

him. Donald slurs the spare room will be his daughters bedroom when shecomes to stay.

Amanda agrees but she had the ceiling hanger specially fitted to support the dress which is

staying. Donald sits bolt upright angry that Amanda is putting her dress before his daughter,

and Amanda argues back that in actual fact it is more than just a dress, but a John Galliano


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creation made with painstaking care and worth a fortune. Donald spites her rejection of his

sexual advances as proof of her coldness and need to always behave like a manin sex.

Amanda argues it took her by surprise seeing him be forceful and spontaneous. Donald

accuses her of being sarcastic which she rejects. He then mocks her for being stupid and

wasting her business loan on buying this John Galliano dress. Amanda points out that she

has had it for years and that Sven brought her the dress. Suddenly Donaldsface is crazed

and he grabs a craft knife from the floor. Amanda backs off. Donald jumps to his feet and

wildly starts to try and slash Amanda with the knife. She realizes he is trying to attack the

John Galliano dress. Within minutes they are both on the floor wrestling and pulling each

others hair. Donald starts crying and his body goes limp. Amanda holds him and strokes his

hair. For a few minutes they are silent and tender. Then Donald blurts he has been made

redundant from his surveyors job and he will never be able to afford the solicitors fees to

gain fair access to seeing his young daughter Lucy again. Amanda watches the colourful

gems on her dress glistening beautifully while stroking Donalds hair and reassures him

everything is going to be okay.

Scene 5

The Smugglers Inn, Rottingdean Village, Sussex. The big day of the Rottingdean Village

Community Centres 20th

Anniversary Celebration has arrived. Dorothy Weinbler is due to

give a Master Class sugar craft demonstration. Dorothy has flown in from New York the

previous night and just spent her first night at the Smugglers Inn. She enters the small

breakfast dining area which is the same cramped dimly lit space with low ceiling beams she

had eaten her evening Smugglers Fish and Chips meal the previous evening. Howeverthe


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candle lit lanterns are gone and the beer barrel tables are now covered in white lace

clothes, teapots, tea cups, and glass jugs of warm tomato and orange juice. The landlord

serves her a cooked English breakfast, with locally sourced bacon, eggs and sausages.

Dorothy Weinber asks where the Visitors Comments book is kept. The landlord says they

dont have one. Dorothy then tells the landlord that after she had her Smugglers Fish and

Chips she went to her room to sleep but was woken at 1am by young people laughing and

shouting outside the pub, on the street, next door but one. Then she was woken

intermittently by a toilet flushing all night in the room below her. She also heard late night

music coming from the attic flat on the other side of her. And then when she finally fell

asleep at 5am she was woken abruptly by a delivery van in the High Street. The Landlord

apologises and says she will try to find another room. Dorothy doesnt see how that will

change anything and will not be staying another night. The landlord clears the table and

returns to the kitchen. Dorothy gets up to leave. She pushes her chair backwards and is

locked in by another breakfast diners chair behind her. They spend the next 15 minutes

scuffling chairs back and forth unable to free themselves from the cramped space. Dorothy

leaves with a very irritated look on her face.

Scene 6

The Village Community Centresmall car park, Rottingdean, Sussex. The Village Community

Centre is celebrating its big 20th

Anniversary. Local groups, organizations, businesses,

charities, parish counsellors, have been invited to give talks, exhibitions, and promotions for

the next 3 days. Local media are invited and it is an opportunity to promote the historical

importance of Rottingdean and the Community Centre which is the heart of the village


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community life. Amanda do Courcey , Chair of the Village Sugar Craft Committee, has

booked renowned cake designer Dorothy Weinbler under the pretence of attracting local

interest in sugar craft and bumping up their dwindling membership. Her real motive is to

photograph herself presenting Dorothy Weinbler with a luxury hamper of De Courcey

Chocolates to be used on her own website to promote her Couture Chocolate Shop in

Knightsbridge, London. Amanda arrives early at the Community Centre car park as she has a

lot of satin and flowers to dress the main hall with which is where Dorothy is due to give her

Master Class. Fellow sugar craft member Veronica is unpacking chairs and cake stands and

direction signs saying Sugar Craft Event this Way from her car.Amanda rushes past

Veronica and thanks her for agreeing to look after her John Galliano dress at her home and

is sorry she cant stop to talk but has a lot to do with dressing the main hall before Dorothy

arrives. Veronica calls after her that Amanda is late and missed the whole event and that

she is on her way home. Amanda looks puzzled before realising she is not wearing her every

day watch which is 3 hours behind time. She starts to faint with shock. Veronica rushes over

with a chair to support her. She tries to reassure Amanda it went so well that right now

Dorothy Weinbler was just having her photograph taken with the Mayor of Brighton who is

a big fan of hers. Amanda tries to stand up quickly but falls back down on chair then with

determined effort grabs Veronicas shoulder aggressively and with great force levers herself

to a standing position and then speeds off into the centre.

Scene 7

The Village Community Centre, Rottingdean, Sussex.


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Amanda is inside the Community Centre with the desperate intention of being

photographed with Dorothy Weinbler to feature on her website and promote De Courcey

Chocolates. She speeds down the corridor pastThe Kipling Room on the right (various

huddles of chairs with groups showcasing their skills and knowledge including: Latin, French,

Computing, Handel For Beginners, The History of Sussex Before the Romans. A long table

with people quietly playing Bridge is adjacent to them. A photographic exhibition to

recreate Village Pond Life during Saxon time has been built. Eventually Amanda reaches the

main hall she had managed to reserve for internationally famous Dorothy Weinblers Master

Class but finds Betty Jenkins the Caretaker Liason Officer has gone over her head and

crammed it full of local businesses, with stalls exhibiting advertising for their products, and

Dorothy Weinbler has been pushed back into the small back room. Dorothys Master Class

table is makeshift boxes with an old bed sheet thrown over it and wedged in by 6 metal

hard chairs for spectators. Amanda cringes when she catches sight of Betty Jenkins ushering

Sylvia over for a photograph with the Mayor of Brighton ,while shaking her head saying if it

had been her she would never have used dummy tiers for that cakeat Donald Trumps

wedding. The photographer gets into position. Amanda barges through and positions

herself on one side of Dorothy Weinbler ready to present De Courcey Chocolates. Just as

the photographer is about to take the photo Betty Jenkins now appears with some local

business people who she thinks should also be in the photograph. Now Jim from Jims

Electrical Supplies iswedged between Dorothy and Amanda. The photographer tells him to

straighten his sweatshirt so people can see the writing If you find cheaper van alternators in

Sussex we promise to match the difference. Suddenly the shot looks like Amanda de


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Courcey is presenting her luxury Knightsbridge De Courcey Chocolates to Jim whose

sweatshirt boasts he sells the cheapest van alternators in Sussex. Before Amanda can

register the reality of the situation the photographer has taken the photograph ready to be

featured in all the local newspapers in Sussex.

Scene 8

Veronicas house, Rottingdean Village, Sussex. In Veronicascraft and sewing room.

Amanda de Courcey is at Veronicas house. Veronica is a fellow Sugar Craft Committee

member. She is looking after Amandas priceless John Galliano Haute Couture dress.

Amanda has paid her a visit to give advice on careful hanging and safe storage of the dress

which is in Veronicas private craft and sewing room. They are both in the room and

Amanda is explaining the dress has been promised to the bank as an asset if she should not

repay them their money for her business loan. Amanda stresses the importance of safe

guarding the dress. Veronica reassures her that her husband never uses her room and she

keeps it locked for the protection of her visiting grandchildren as she has many sharp

objects in there. Both the women admire the dress which resembles a hanging sculpture, a

single piece of bewitching jewels and fabric crafted by an army of dressmakers . Veronica

has felt extreme pleasure seeing the dress every day. It has even been the source of

inspiration for her new sugar craft creations. The dress is the only thing Amanda has left

from her beautiful Haute Couture collection. The only reason her ex husband Sven didnt

notice the value of her dress when they divorced (he managed to hide his assets on paper

but inflate Amandas) is because his attention was always elsewhere especially other


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women. Veronica said if she had never been lucky enough to have a beautiful dress like that

she would fight hard to never let it go. Amanda discusses her visit with to the Bank Manager

who gave her the loan. They both agree the Villages Bank Manager is a stupid old oaf

waiting to retire and play golf. He wants his son to take over however his son works for a big

bank in Brighton and doesntwant to leave the big prospects of working in one of the city

banks. Even the national housing Charity Affordable Shelter had just been on the Sussex

Radio show mentioning how this bank had made large donations to their charity which

would make all the difference to rough sleepers and those about to lose their homes.

Amanda recounts how her husband Donald has just lost his job as a surveyor and had large

solicitors bills. Donald is trying to gain legal fair access to his daughter Lucy. Amanda asks

Veronica if she can recommend a reasonably priced solicitor. Veronicas husband belongs to

a fundraising charity set up by local businessmen so perhaps she might know some.

Veronica says she doesnt know any reasonably priced solicitors. Amanda de Courcey jokes

and wishes a guardian angel would appear from nowhere and make her a large donation.

Suddenly Amandas mobile phone rings.

Scene 9

Veronica craft and sewing room, RottingdeanVillage, Sussex.Veronica leaves the room so

Amanda can take her phone call in private. Amanda is deflated about her problems with

Donald but feels a strange intuition her luck is about to change. She answers the phone

cheerfully. It is her ex husband Sven. He has a job. The salary isnt as much as he is used to

but the prospects are good. He wanted to share the good news with someone special.


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Amanda becomes tense and suggests he should ring his personal assistant Linda Baker.

Sven continues in cheerful mode. Amanda is thrown by Svens recent lack of anger when

responding to her. He wants her to come to London, at his treat, and experience pastries,

sweets and cakes made by some of the finest couture pastry chefs he has ever discovered.

There is a brief silence and then she agrees. Sven sounds overjoyed in his voice and Amanda

finds herself smiling at this new trait of generosity and more playful side. Veronica knocks

on the door to come back in. Amanda tells Sven she will text him later about meeting up but

has to go now. Veronica enters room and is surprised to see Amandas smile so big and eyes

so alive, something she has never seen since knowing her. They fuss over the dress

arranging its hanging together. The women share a feeling of joy and passion together.

Amanda has a message on her voicemail. Its Sven he tells her not to text as in the past he

has caught Linda Baker checking his text messages and emails as she gets very jealous.

Amanda throws her phone on the floor. She realizes how stupid she has been and how

much she actually loves Donald. Suddenly she sees his reliable trustworthy transparent

character as something intoxicatingly attractive. Shes going to prove how much she loves

him.

Scene 10

Amanda de Courceys home. Rottingdean Village, Sussex. Amanda has decided to sell her

precious John Galliano dress. If she gets enough money she will use the money to pay a

good solicitor to help Donald gain legal access to his daughter Lucy and will make sure she

has her own bedroom. She will personally ensure it is decorated to the best standard. And


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perhaps pay off some of their mortgage. Amanda wants to make them feel like a family unit

and prove her commitment to Donald. Amanda feels less attached to the dress and wants it

gone. She auctions it on Ebay. Someone bids for it immediately. Thankfully it will cover

enough for solicitors bills and most of her outstanding mortgage. To her surprise someone

else bids over the price she would expect for the dress. Amanda thinks its too good to be

true and should quit while she is ahead. She signs out of her account. Collectors can be

unpredictable so perhaps the bidder was sincere. Amanda imagines what it would be like to

own her own shop and not be at the mercy of landlords. Amanda signs back onto Ebay. To

her amazement the anonymous bidder has now offered 3 million pounds and will credit the

money into her account immediately if she will take it off the market and guarantee them

the sale. Amanda agrees.

Scene 11

Tea Room cafe, Rottingdean, Sussex. Donald is waiting outside the Tea Room cafe for his ex

wife to drop off their 8 year old daughter Lucy so he can spend the afternoon with her.

Amanda is also due to join them for a cream tea. Amanda wants to prove her love and

commitment to Donald and make an effort to be a family unit with his daughter. It is hoped

this will also go in Donalds favour when he attends court to try and winbetter legal access

to see his daughter. Donald is pleased that Amanda has sold the John Galliano dress and

broken her attachment to her previous life, especially her ex husband Sven. He is touched

that Amanda wants to personally redesign the spare room soit is officially Lucys bedroom

when she eventually comes to stay. Amanda will use the money from selling the dress to


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pay Donalds large legal fees so he can take his ex wife to court and gain more legal access

to see his daughter. Now they discuss plans as a family eg holidays. Amanda arrives outside

the Tea Room early to meet Donald. They kiss and hug warmly. Amanda has lots of shopping

bags and is excited. She shows Donald a scroll of luxury wallpaper and a catalogue with an

exquisite dressing table, chair and lamp she has ordered for Lucys bedroom. Donald laughs

as Lucy is happier in rugby shirts and has no interest in makeup and loves muddy sports.

Amanda looks worried so Donald hugs her and changes the subject picks some books out of

her shopping bags. Amanda is smiling showing Donald the fine cuisine cookery books she

has got him as a present as he had expressed an interest in learning to cook now he will be

at home more. She also has him a new trowel (with a designer handle) for his vegetable

patch which he finds touching as she always hated the vegetable patch and wanted it paved

over. Donald has booked a table at Amandas favourite restaurant in London for the evening

so they can properly celebrate the launch of Amandas business De Courcey Chocolates.

Amanda has made an offer on a shop in Rottingdean so she can work closer to home. She

will maintain the same Couture standards with her chocolates and work hard to turn them

into a luxury brand and use the internet to broaden her market audience to also include rich

overseas clients.Amanda leaves Donald outside the tea room while she pops across the

road into the bank. They kiss and hug warmly and Amanda says she wont be long.

Scene 12

The High Street Village Bank, Rottingdean, Sussex. Amanda de Courcey visits her bank to

discuss the 3 million pounds payment she has received from a private buyer on Ebay for her


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John Galliano dress. The bank had contacted her the previous day to confirm the payment

had gone into her account. As it is such a large amount she wants to arrange an

appointment with the Bank Manager to discuss how to wisely get the most out of the

money. She also wants to know the terms and fees for being released from the business

loan they have given her as she doesnt need it anymore. And she wants to know the

conditions and fees for paying off the mortgage on her house early. Also Amanda has made

an offer to buy a shop outright and wants to know how her bank and the sellers bank will

manage the transaction. Amanda queues in the bank and then discusses all this with the

clerk. He taps the keys on his computer and studies the screen for a moment and then

quietly makes a phone call. He wants Amanda to take a seat and wait as the bank needs to

confirm some details with her. Amanda wants to know if there has been a problem with the

payment but the clerk does not know and is not at liberty to discuss it. For 10 minutes

Amanda fixes her eyes on the customers interview room door as it swingsopen and shut as

various staff members come and go. A television positioned high on the wall is playing an

episode of Dragons Den(one of the billionaire businessmen is demanding a 40% share of

mans business as the man desperately tries to persuade the billionaire to give him a

hundred thousand pounds he needs to get his business idea of the ground). The bank clerk

is on the phone and Amanda strains to hear what he is saying. Amanda hears a police car

siren speeding loudly past the bank outside. A strange contrast with the quiet high street

with its small village houses pushed together and tea rooms, antique shops and village

bakery and butchers crammed in between them. After the loud police siren the silence

seems deafening. Amanda unzips and then zips up her bag and coughs to break the silence.


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Then a tall stocky man dressed in a suit that is too tight for him bursts into the bank

maintaining formal eye contact and aggressive confidence as he walks towards her. He

wants to know if it is her parked car that is blocking his car in his parking space which he

now cant get out. Amanda spends 5minutes trying to persuade him that it isnt her car

before finally he leaves. The bank clerk puts a sign up to say his position is temporarily

closed for an hour. The bank clerk looks stressed and keeps checking messages on his phone

and glancing at the door that leads onto the street. As he makes his way out towards the

street he passes Amanda, and to their surprise she grabs him very forcefully by the arm, and

pulls him towards her which nearly knocks them both off their feet. They both look very

startled. The clerk is sweating and quickly replies Amanda wont have to wait much longer.

When the clerk disappears out the door Amandas eye follows into the distance. A familiar

looking figure passes by the shops on the other side of the road. Amanda mutters the name

Linda Baker under her breath. Linda Baker was Svens personal assistant when Amanda was

married to him but now his Svens partner. Amanda struggles to find her glasses from inside

her bag. The figure has disappeared and Amanda thinks her mind must be playing tricks on

her. Her confusion is broken when a bank worker appears in the doorway of the Customers

Interview Room and shouts her name Amanda de Courcey, having called it a number of

times.

Scene 13

Customers Interview Room, Rottingdean High Street Bank, Sussex.Amanda de Courcey is

called into the Customers Interview Room as the bank would like to confirm some details


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with her. Amanda wants advice on how to invest the 3 million pounds she has received

(from selling her John Galliano dress on Ebay) and would like to know the fees and

conditions for being released from the banks business loan to her, which she no longer

requires. The bank employee interviewing her is a woman in her late twenties. She begins

with informal chit chat saying how much she loves the Village of Rottingdean, and rents an

attic room right above the butchers. Its tinybut she hopes to stay here etc Amanda

requests to discuss being released from the business loan. The woman needs to check some

details with her first. She reads from the original loan contract drawn up by the bank, which

Amanda signed, and wants her to confirm her details and signature which Amanda does.

The woman notes Amandas husband Donald was no longer receiving a salary when she

signed the bank loan and yet didntdeclare it. There is a knock at the door. Another bank

clerk enters the room, deposits a file on the womans desk and then leaves.Amandas

response is she didnt knowDonald had lost his job at that point. The woman ignores her

and points out that if Amanda and Donald no longer had a guaranteed salary to pay the

mortgage on her house then how can the house be used as an asset to secure another loan.

Not only did the bank risk not getting back their money they had loaned her for her house

but also the money they had loaned for her business De Courcey Chocolates. That was a

huge amount of money the bank had loaned and risked losing. Amanda laughs sarcastically

and points out they must be making a huge profit with all the interest they add to all the

mortgage and business loans. Amanda demands to see the Bank Manager. The woman

seems irritated and points out the bank risks not only losing their own money in loans but all

the losses incurred by not having the loan money to invest on the financial markets plus the


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reduced value of the money over time. Amanda is silenced by the facts. However she

makes it clear she would never risk losing their home to the bank if she knew Donald had

lost his job. The woman confirms with Amanda that giving misleading information during a

loan transaction is a criminal offense. Raised voices and shuffling noises can be heard just

outside the door in the corridor. The woman interviewing Amanda marches over and opens

the door abruptly to see what the noise is and angrily shouts DO YOU MIND!. The bank

clerk and another woman are standing outside the door looking startled and sheepish and

then leave. The woman continues the interview. Amanda agrees and apologizes but she

really didnt know Donald had lost his job. Then she insists on making an appointment to see

Mr Everest the Bank Manager. The woman says that it is not possible as Mr Everest retired

on Saturday and then quickly moves onto more questions. She wants to know where the

payment for 3 million pounds into her account came from. Amanda slaps the desk and

insists its her money and none of their business. The woman reassures her its just standard

security bank procedure which they have to do with everyone and she has no say over the

rules. Amanda says the money came from a private investor who wishes to remain

anonymous. The woman wants to know how Amanda knew this private investor and does

she have records of this. Amanda adjusts her neck scarf and then says the investor was an

old friend she met in the Haute Couture Fashion circles in Paris. The old friend was married

to an oil and gas tycoon. They had worked as philanthropists together. The friends husband

had experience in the past as a successful investor making his fortune buying shares in

highly profitable businesses in health care, pharmaceuticals and military high tech

industries. He wanted to support his wife in her desire to have her own business interests.


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The bank woman wants to know what share of the business her friend wants. Amanda

stutters for a minute before spurting out she wanted a 40% share in Amandas business. The

bank woman thinks it strange that Amanda and her friend/private investor dont have a

signed contract. Amanda explains that her friend completely trusts her. And they are both

passionate about the idea of handmade De Courcey Chocolates reflecting the highest

Couture principles, making clients feel unique and reinstalling their sense of being an

individual, especially in a world where everything is mass produced in a ready to go

fashion. Her husband was sold on the story of their business and thought the profit

projections for their first year in business would be outstanding. The bank woman thinks

this is odd. She doesnt know much about fashion but she does know Haute Couture is a

very small part of the fashion industry, not known for big profits and seemed more akin to

building a long term brand with loyal cult like following and therefore the principles didnt

lend themselves to big profits in the first year. Most investors would know this. The bank

woman suggests that perhaps Amanda received the payment because she has sold a very

valuable item. Amanda insists she has nothing of great value to sell. The bank woman says

thats not what it says on her bank loan agreement. And could it in actual fact be the John

Galliano dress she has sold. The dress which had been promised to the bank should she

default on the repayments. Amanda had signed a legal contract agreeing the bank could

seize her dress for their ownership if she didnt repay the bank theirmoney. Amanda grabs

the loan contract out of the womans hand and flings it across the room and shouts that she

doesnt want the bloodyloan anymore. The bank woman buzzes the requires assistance

staff back up silent alarm while responding to Amanda that was not the case when she tried


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to sell the dress and therefore was breaking her contract with the bank. Amanda softens in

her tone and says cant they forget all this formality. Surely with 3 million pounds in her

account the bank will also benefit. The woman says its too late for that now. Someone

spotted the John Galliano dress on Ebay and reported it to the police as stolen property not

originally belonging to Amanda. The bank could not accept the payment of 3 million pounds

for the dress into her account until the exact owner of the dress was established. And the

buyer withdrew their offer on the dress after being asked to give a police statement. The

bank was also withdrawing the business loan for De Courcey Chocolates. The bank woman

advices Amanda to find a good solicitor as the shop in Knightsbridge would also expect

payments. She also hands Amanda some leaflets on great deals for taking out bank loans if

you cant pay bankloans and the procedure of foreclosure should the banks needs to seize

her house to sell at auction. As for the dress it was out of the banks hands now and her case

had been handed over to the police for investigation.

Scene 14

Rottingdean Village High Street, Sussex. Amanda leaves the Customer Interview Room and

is standing in the doorway of the bank facing onto the high street. The bank clerk releases

his hand from her elbow. He had been called upon to provide extra assistance and escort

her off the premises. He acts more like a carer propping up someone who is in shock. The

clerk checks that Amanda is ok and then leaves. She does the best she can to hold herself

having just been told she has lost everything and now under criminal investigation by the

police. Donald waves and calls her from across the street. He is still waiting outside the Tea


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Room. He urges her to hurry up but is smiling patiently and warmly. He is waving a big pan.

Amanda squints and then realises its the large heavy aluminium stew pan from the shop

next door. They had joked about him having stew on the table when she got back from a

hard day at work in her shop in Knightsbridge mixing with the rich and famous. Amanda

starts to relax. She realizes Donald is a good earthy man. And as long as there is love they

will somehow make it as a family with his daughter Lucy. All these material things mean

nothing. Amanda warms to the sun on her face and smiles back at Donald. She unzips her

bag and takes out some rose water spray to cool her neck. She releases a big breath, as if to

release the burden of her carrying her past self, and is ready for her new life, as she steps

out of the bank door and onto the pavement. Then she crashes into a man who is deeply in

conversation and not looking where he is going. He apologizes. The man is her ex husband

Sven! Mr Everest the Bank Manager is standing next to Sven and introduces him to Amanda

saying he is their new Bank Manager and wonders how they know each other. Amandas

face tries to make sense of this new unbelievable information and then things suddenly fall

in place. She realizes that some of her dresses were in Svens name. Money was always

pouring out of both their accounts and she left him to decide which one for the purposes of

tax. The John Galliano dress which is the only dress she had left must still be in his name.

Amanda is sneering that surely he had taken enough during their divorce, and wasnt it

enough for him that she had been left with nearly nothing and now he had come for her

only dress. She had been married to him long enough to not be fooled by his ability to hide

his own assets always to maximize his own gains. What kind of little shit behaved like that

and yet was treated like a mini god. Sven seems genuinely confused and says he doesnt


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know anything about her dress. Whatever happened in the past hes more grown up now

and isnt that low. Now a woman is calling Sven from across the street. She is coming out of

the florist, next door to the Tea Room and has a bunch of lilies in her hand. Its Linda Baker

Svens personal assistant and new partner. The thunder bolt realization hits Amanda. Linda

Baker shops on Ebay all the time. Sven said she had been listening into their phone calls. She

must have been jealous and reported the dress to the police. She did all his paperwork and

would have known the dress was in Svens name. Sven paid no attention to her dresses.

Amanda storms across the road calling Lindas name. A car knocks her to the ground. Donald

and Linda Baker both run to her aid. Donalds daughter Lucy tries to also run over to help

her but her mother pulls her back and they watch from the pavement. Amanda struggles to

her feet. Linda Baker helps steady Amanda and helps her to stand. Donald thanks Linda.

Amanda tells him not to thank her. She has just ruined their life. Amanda confronts Linda

about the John Galliano dress on Ebay and knows she reported it to the police just because

she was jealous. Linda denies it but Amanda sees guilt in her face. Amanda demands Linda

confesses and when she continues to deny it Amanda grabs her by the collar. Donald pulls

her off , and tells Amanda that Linda is innocent, and then apologises, and thanks Linda for

helping Amanda. Amanda is so angry that Donald is taking Lindas side that her temper

flares up and she starts shouting in Lindasface demanding that she confesses the truth.

When Linda denies it was her who reported the dress to the police Amanda grabs the big

heavy aluminium stew pan that Donald had purchased for their cosy winter stews and starts

bashing Linda repeatedly over the head shouting Dont lie to me. Dont lie to me. Dont lie


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to me. Linda collapses to the floor with half her skull smashed open and brain matter and

fluid sprayed over the Tea Room chintzy curtained windows.

Scene 14

Criminal Defence Lawyers office, Sussex(some months later) Amanda de Courcey is

meeting with her defence lawyer to discuss her forthcoming trial. She will on trial for

murder. Linda Baker died instantly from multiple lacerations to the brain after being hit over

the head repeatedly with the stew pan by Amanda. Her defence lawyer is updating Amanda

on her position so far in the case .Although a prison sentence is inevitable Amandas

defence lawyer wants to plead diminished responsibility to reduce the term. The lawyer

wants to argue that Amanda was in shock before killing Linda Baker with the stew pan as

she had been hit down by a car and the shock caused her to lose control of her senses.

However the prosecution will argue that the car only dislocated Amandas hip and not her

head and therefore she was in control of her senses. And it was premeditated cold murder

as Amanda could not come to terms with her ex husband having an affair with Linda Baker

when she was his personal assistant. Also mobile phone records show Amanda had

contacted her wealthy ex husband Sven on a number of times during the last month when

she had been in great need of money. She had also lied about Donalds salary when trying to

apply for a business loan, and attempted to sell an asset promised to the bank, on Ebay.

Hours before the murder, when she was not in shock she had been acting very aggressively.

The bank clerk confirmed she yanked his arm in the bank and the Customer Interviewer

woman said she had grabbed the loan contract out of her hand, shouted and deliberately


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knocked her mug of tea over. Its all ofCCTV camera and proved Amanda had the character

of a premeditated liar and a cheat with a violent temper capable of murder. Amanda is

deflated and slumps in her chair. She has lost weight and her clothes are looking a bit

dishevelled. The lawyer gets up and collects their mugs to declare the meeting over and

thinks its all a lot to take in. Amandas coffee remains untouched with a fermenting skin on

the top. The defence lawyer thinks it is better for them to be prepared for the worst case

scenario now so they can build a convincing case in her defence. Amanda shrugs. She thinks

things cant get any worse in the sure knowledge she is going to prison. The lawyer

disagrees and it is vitally important Amanda tells her everything because she doesnt want

any surprises in court which the prosecution could use against them. She opens the door for

Amanda, more as an act of care, and then tells Amanda the type of sentence she is given will

have a big impact on her future. Amanda pauses, her brain struggling for decisions, and

unable to decipher if her admission of guilt is worthy of confession. She admits she is off to

meet Sven for lunch. He contacted her because he needs to try and find forgiveness in his

heart for what she has done and make peace with it. The lawyers tone changes. She

abruptly urges Amanda to come back into her office and sit down and then shuts the door.

She breaks the news to Amanda carefully that it has emerged that Linda Baker definitely

was not the person to have reported the John Galliano dress to the police. In actual fact it

was Sven. She was going to tell her today but Amanda looked like she wasntable to cope

with anymore. Sven had been having an affair with a new personal assistant which Linda

Baker knew nothing about. The new assistant had spotted the dress on Ebay and recognised

it as she had an interest in fashion and knew the ins and outs of Svens paperwork. Sven had


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never noticed the dress but on hearing it belonged to him on paper he immediately

contacted the police to report his property as stolen. He spoke to a few people and

managed to arrange a deal to sell the dress for 5 million pounds. Amanda takes the news

calmly like someone who has become desensitised to an ongoing avalanche of extremes.

She responds coolly that she is just sorry she got the wrong person. Her lawyer thinks it is

extremely important that she does not express that sentiment at her murder trial.

Scene 15

Crown Court Prosecution Waiting Room, Sussex. It is the first day of Amanda de Courceys

murder trial. Amanda arrives with her defence lawyer. She is seated in a room and

instructed to wait. A few other people are also in the room waiting to be summonsed.

Amandas lawyer says she will be back in a short while and leaves the room. Betty Jenkins,

fellow sugar craft committee member and the Caretaker Liaison Officer for their Village

Community Centre arrives. Amanda sits with her head semi bowed, uncharacteristically in

no make-up, no jewellery, and a grey finely tailored skirt, jacket and blouse but without her

customary touches of colour. Betty Jenkins enters dressed in her usual cheap big winter coat

but this time she has big shiny plastic clip on ear rings, matching shoulder bag, and brightly

applied rouge and lipstick painted thickly across her cracked lips which are smiling almost

with an air of intense excitement and intrigue. Betty Jenkins expresses disapproval to

Amandas that none of her family members hasturned up for the trial. She cant understand

anyone who wouldnt stick by their family through anything. Veronica, fellow sugar craft

member sends good wishes, but is nervous of courts and cant attend the court gallery in


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support of her friend. Betty Jenkins crosses her fingers for good luck and makes a wish that

Amanda will get a judge and jury who have common sense and not be harsh in their

sentence. She observes that if Amanda had planned it in cold blood she wouldnt have

tricked Donald into buying a big heavy aluminium stew pan as the chosen murder weapon

but would have gone for a carving knife. Betty Jenkins continues to speak for a long period.

Amanda starts moving in her chair in alternating between agitation and a comatose manner

shifting from side to side, looking up the clock repeatedly and then staring down as if

searching to see if her eyes had fallen on the floor. A man and a woman opposite her begin

to argue. The intensity and distress of the argument would suggest they are partners. They

are both in their late 30s. The womanseyes are lively but beaten down. The mans eyes are

keen but lost looking. The woman is complaining that he can never just be content like

everyone else but always wants something better. She doesnt understand why he cant just

be like everyone else. The mans name is Jiz. Amanda studies the features of the Jizs face as

he speaks. His features are masculine and angular. He has a tattoo of a dark inked blue star

on his ear. His accent isnt privileged but his delivery of words is confident. His hair cropped,

but ruffled. Amanda becomes hypnotized by his mannerisms. Then he stands up and starts

feeling in the pockets of his suit which he doesnt appear to be familiar with. The woman

says its unlikely he will be allowed outside for a smoke. Jiz heads for the toilet door which is

situated in the same room. Amanda snaps out of her hypnotic type state but Betty Jenkins is

still speaking. Betty thinks its bad of Donald to have not stood by Amanda and to not even

return to their house for his clothes. Surely he saw the car knock Amanda down and realized

she was in shock and didnt plan to bash Linda Bakers brains outwith a stewing pan. Then


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when Betty Jenkins tells Amanda the story (for the 100th time it seems) about how she fell

asleep one night, and accidently rolled onto her new kitten, during the night time and killed

it, and nobody believed it was an accident. Her neighbours gossiped and someone spray

painted KITTEN MURDERER on her front porch door,and she never wanted anyone to go

through what she went through alone. Amanda stands up and snaps that perhaps Donald

didnt feel it would benefit his application to win legal access to see his daughter Lucy if he

said his partner was on trial for murder. Then Amanda says she needs to use the toilet to

freshen up. The lock on the toilet cubicle is broken so Amanda tries the door of the cubicle

next to it. The door opens and Jiz is crouched over the toilet cistern. He doesnt seem that

bothered to see Amanda although she apologizes greatly. He laughs and then she laughs. In

a surreal moment they are both caught in laughter. Then Betty Jenkins voice can be heard

entering the toilet. Amanda pushes herself into the cubicle with Jiz and tells him to be quiet

so she can hide from her as she cant bare another moment with her. Eventually Amanda

calls out she wont be longbut Betty Jenkins wants to stay to make sure she is ok. Amanda

says she cant peewith someone else waiting outside the door so Betty agrees to wait

outside. Amanda and Jiz are still in the cubicle with bodies so close they can feel their

breathing. Amanda sniffs the air and then names the spices she can faintly smell in his

aftershave. The aroma floods her senses which for the last few months have felt dead. The

welcomed shock triggers her to kiss Jiz who returns the kiss. Then Amanda pushes him

roughly against the cubicle wall. Jiz kisses her back with passion. Amanda presses her hips

against him to pin him against the wall and Jiz kisses her back even more wildly. For a brief

second Amanda notices white powder sprinkled over the toilet cistern but the kissing


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consumes them both. However moments later Amanda feels a thud in her head and then

nausea and heat shoot around her body before everything blacks out.

Reflective Commentary

I have created a completely different story to the one I submitted in

assignment 2. This is because I wasnt clear what my story was really about.

Now I have a better sense of what it is about. As I only started it from scratch a

few weeks ago I only got as far as the inciting incident. I havent managed to

edit it down yet. I start the story off in the quaint English village of

Rottingdean. I enjoy contrasting banality with extremes. For example the

apparent safety of the Village and its community centre in conflict with

Amandas bigger aspirations. I also depict Amanda de Courcey,the main

character taking out a bank loan as highlighting the myths perpetuated by

banks and the key role it plays in enslaving and disempowering most people is

my central underlying theme. I only got as far as the inciting incident in which

Amanda is on trial for murdering Linda Baker with a stewing pan and then in

court. After this the first half of the story will show Amanda and Jiz living in

Rottingdean which is now a prison like landscape owned by Masters. Amanda

and Jiz will have lost their memories. According to the Masters cities, towns

and villages no longer exit and instead the country is divided up into private


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prisons competing against other Masters who apparently want to kill or cheat

each other but protect their inhabitants. Amanda and Jiz work as slaves on the

Masters land. The Rottingdean landscape is grey and bare. The slaves are

nearly starving, forced to work for a lifetime on the Masters land in return for

shelter. Jiz runs a Swap Shop in which the slaves swap what very little they

have eg their broken shoes for a few potatoes. Meanwhile a well is discovered.

It is full of fresh water and precious stones. The precious stones shine against

the grey miserable stark landscape. The slaves decide to keep the well a secret

from the Masters as they are not allowed to own things. However the fresh

water means they can have better sanitation, health etc and the precious

stones become very desirable. Initially there is community spirit with this

shared secret and discovery of the well and the precious glistening stones. This

lifts the slaves spirits and feelings of hope. This new sense of self the slaves

have becomes evident to the Masters which becomes is a concern. However

over time some of the slaves begin to hoard and control the water and stones

and things start to change. Eventually an argument breaks out and the slave

who operates the well reports it to the Masters. The assumption is the Masters

will kill some of the slaves to set an example. However since the slaves

discovered the well and experienced a feeling of ownership they have become


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harder to pacify through physical force. The midway point in the story the

Masters hold a trial and insinuate to the other slaves that Amanda and Jiz were

using the well to cheat the other slaves. As the precious stones from the well

gained popularity they became the most valuable item in the Swap Shop. As it

was feared the precious stones would be discovered by the Masters, Jiz agreed

to store them safely in exchange for goods. The slaves precious stones are kept

in storage and Jiz would give them receipts as proof of ownership which they

could use to retrieve them if they wanted. The slaves start using the receipts

like bank notes exchanging it for food and services from each other. Amanda

thinks its a waste to have the precious stones in storage not doing anything so

for a price starts hiring them out. However the slaves who want to borrow the

precious stones prefer to have receipts instead. The receipts are easy to hide

and become more desirable to carry than the precious stones. Jiz and Amanda

realize their receipt book has become as valuable as the precious stones so

they start to write receipts falsely and give them out as loans. In effect they are

lending money they dont have. The well operator realizes that the amount of

receipts being lent out as money is much greater than the number of precious

stones that are in storage so they must be conning the slaves. He reports them

to the Masters. The Masters are impressed by this con artist scheme and


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decide to use it themselves in their private business. They also realize that

when the slaves had the well with the precious stones and fresh water they

became much more motivated. The Masters decide that instead of killing

slaves to set an example to crush any rebellions they will instead allow the

slaves to own things but their ownership of things will be based on an illusion.

They will control the slaves by creating the illusion of ownership and choice

which will motivate them to work on their land. They use the con artist scheme

that Amanda and Jiz had created as a model for a loan system to control the

slaves. They Masters will give the slaves loans to buy the shelters they are

forced to live in exchange for a lifetime of work on the Masters land. They will

abolish the no ownership rule for slaves. The Masters soon learn that the more

counterfeit loans they give to slaves to create products the more money the

Masters get paid back. More products means more loans for producers and

therefore more profits for The Masters. More products means more

consumers which also means more loans. Everything can be owned by Masters

and reduced to a product and as there is not enough money issued by The

Masters who control the money supply then there is not enough wages for

slaves to pay for products and therefore the slaves are dependent on the

loans. The Masters make sure there is not enough real money in circulation for


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slaves wages so they are forced to depend on Masters for loans. They will

require to take out loans from Masters to pay for the products as the Masters

ensure the slave wages are low enough to ensure dependency on loans to

purchase things. The Masters soon learn that allowing slaves to own things

and be paid for their work motivates them to work and is highly profitable. In

reality nothing has changed for the Masters or slaves. The Masters soon learn

that if all aspects of the slaves lives continue to be ownedeg oxygen, water,

food, shelter, transport, medicine etc they can profit from the slaves

dependency on loans to purchase it. Everything can be reduced to a product in

which slaves must depend on the loans of Masters to pay for it. The more

loans the Masters give for shelter the more the shelter prices rise and the

more loans the slaves need to take out. The Masters lick their lips. The slaves

are brainwashed regularly to repeat the mantras I create my own destiny and

all forms of worship, entertainment, self care etc are erected to reinforce this

mantra. The Masters must work hard to make the slaves believe in the illusion

of ownership. Ownership equates to products and consumers and therefore

more loans needed which is highly profitable to the Masters. Sometimes the

slaves get mentally unwell from their slavery however the Masters employ

brain chemists and mindologists to remind the slaves they create their own


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destiny. The brain chemists and mindologists become very powerful and are

rewarded highly within the Masters system. The mindologists and brain

chemists set up a care agency in which they uncover the needs of the slaves

and bring the product they require to satisfy them. An emphasis on

individualism and satisfying needs is given priority. The mindologists and brain

chemists use this valuable information to help the producers know what to

produce. They work hard to circuit past reason and get to the part of brain that

can be controlled through products. This means more loans and more profits

for Masters so the mindologists and brain chemists are treated as royal gurus

and rewarded generously. They become very powerful and prestigious.

Eventually Amanda and Jiz have their memories returned after a series of

events in which the glitter of the beautiful precious stones and the smells of

spices triggers old memories from their previous life. It is the Masters biggest

fear slaves will remember their old lives and try to escape back to it however

Amanda and Jiz dont feel any reason to escape back to their old lives and

decide to remain with their Masters in the new prison.

oca assignment 3

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